#(anne hathaway cause i am closeted so everything has to be WomanTM)

[raineandsky]

#105

The villain isn’t one to intervene when someone else gets themself into deep shit. It’s their own damn fault, usually, and the villain tends to find at least some entertainment in people fucking around and finding out.

Heroes aren’t usually the ones fucking around, though, let alone finding out, so it peaks the villain’s interest when they come across a hero doing just that. And their favourite hero too, god, what a treat. Heroes are as stupid as they look, clearly.

The hero’s been cornered in an alleyway by someone a lot larger than them; that alone is a feat. The hero, all smiles and unearned confidence and bolshy dramatics, has somehow managed to piss off the only person in the city that has more on them in the ‘intimidating size’ department.

The villain scoots closer for a better view as the other person’s hand drifts lightly up the hero’s neck, words spoken between them that’re lost to the wind before the villain can hear them. The hero stares up at them, wide-eyed, their lips parted slightly. 

Damn, the villain would be shoving popcorn in their mouth right now if they had any.

The person’s hand tightens on the hero’s throat—the villain can see the shadowy dents in their skin, even from here—leaning their face in close to the hero’s to whisper something to them. The hero’s hands grasp at the person’s wrist, though not particularly tightly, their eyes closing against what is clearly a murder attempt.

Wow. Heroes don’t get into shit often because they don’t know how to act when they do, obviously. The villain, a master at getting into shit and subsequently dragging themself out of it, decides to intervene. As fun as this little show is, the only person allowed to lay a finger on the hero is the villain.

They flick their blade out with a satisfying click, taking a few steps forward to put themself in the limelight of the moment. “Okay,” they say flatly, earning a pair of interesting, startled noises from the two in front of them, “break it up.”

The hero meets their eye with the same wide-eyed surprise as before. “[Villain], what— where’d you—”

The villain ignores them. “Step away,” they say sharply, their blade pointed to the person leaning over the hero. They do as they’re told, looking just as startled as the hero, their back bumping against the opposite wall in their haste to move. “Good.”

“[Villain],” the hero repeats, finally earning half the villain’s interest, “what’re you doing?”

“Saving your ass, since you clearly can’t do it yourself,” the villain snaps. Their gaze still rests on the other person, nervously averting their eyes from the villain’s. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

There’s a long moment of silence. Long enough for the villain to wonder if they actually said that outloud. “I’m okay,” the hero says eventually, their voice quiet. “You can, um, go. They’re my, uh– they’re my partner.”

The villain glances back to the hero, their gaze also turned away, their cheeks a hot pink, and the villain finally realises, oh fuck, they’re not nervous, they’re awkward.

The villain’s dagger lowers slightly in horror. They glance at the other person, their eyes still pointed to the ground, their face also burning. The villain would apologise if this weirdo hadn’t been so intent on making this look like a goddamn crime.

“Tip for next time,” the villain says flatly, though they can feel their own embarrassment hot in their stomach, “keep this, y’know, behind closed doors. And if that’s still too hard, at least do it somewhere I’m not going to find you and think I’m stumbling in on a murder.”

“Noted.” The hero’s voice is so small. This discomfort would be an incredible victory for the villain any other day, but unfortunately the villain wants to throw themself off a cliff as well. Painfully so. They’re not sure why they’re stalling; they want to get the hell out of here.

“Great. Okay. Yeah.” The villain takes a step back, their dagger hastily shoved back into their belt. “Okay, well… bye.”

The hero gives them a short nod and their partner waves at them. The villain would think they’re taking the piss if they didn’t look like they immediately regretted it after.

The villain escapes that alley like they’re outrunning the law. They make a mental note as they go, one they know they won’t forget—keep to your damn business.