#(and still working on the grace to accept myself if I don't want to)

[prayersfromaerith]

I still interact with source pretty heavily- maybe I should mention that somewhere- but... It's a trip going through Rebirth.

I don't want to get into it too much yet. I think we're at...Chapter 6, now? Remaining as spoiler-free as I can, as well. (Something done more for Aki's boyfriend, since he wants the experience of almost-full-blind-run of the game, as well. We usually don't mind spoilers all that much.)

Anyways, my point-

It feels...odd. Not in a "wrong" way; if anything, it feels like seeing myself. It feels like my internal doubts for acting a certain way being validated. I'm being seen in ways I...hadn't been doing for myself, honestly speaking.

I appreciate it. I cherish it. But there is still something uncanny about how I'm still me, even while in another world like this. Restrained to someone else's mind, but still wholly myself. Still able to know too much with little effort.

...I don't know what to make of it right now. But I'll continue doing the best I can.

[ikeuverse]

MI AMOR — p.jongseong

PAIRING: jay x fem!reader  GENRES: smut, slight fluff  WC: 3.8k+

WARNINGS: unprotected sex (wrap it up and do it carefully), little plot, a bit of swearing, slaps on the skin, mention of hanging, lmk if i've forgotten anything.

SYNOPSIS: jay worked for your father and sitting in meetings was extremely tiring. all he could think about was finding you, getting out of there and being in your arms the whole time.

NOTES: my first smut on this account, finally? i confess i'm not happy at all because i tried to get out of my bubble and fulfill some requests. after a long time i'm back to writing this so please be nice because it's not something i usually write. i've done and redone something for jay countless times and this was the only time i found myself (somewhat) satisfied with the writing. let me know what you think, these feedbacks are always welcome and help me to produce more and more. i hope you enjoy it!

masterlist

The cold climate of the city contrasted with the warmth of the whisky Jay had drunk a few seconds ago. The slight burn in his throat made him wheeze as he drummed the glass in his fingers.

Arms resting on the table, tired eyes looking around and listening to the middle-aged man with his Spanish accent talk about everything that involved money to him.

It was banal, and uninteresting that Jay was listening to all this while the men laughed at completely idiotic jokes and drank more of their expensive drinks.

"Are you tired, chico?" he asked, catching Jay's eye and he looked up at the man.

Now everyone else was talking about something while the oldest of them was looking in Jay's direction. He gave a quick smile, raising his glass and showing that he had finished his whisky.

"I'm just trying to pick things up…"

"Yes, I see" he came around the table to sit next to Jay, "You don't want to take over your father's things, do you?"

Jay really didn't want to. Being in that environment was not at all what he imagined would happen to his future. Of course, he knew about his father's business, he knew how much money he had and what he did to make it happen. But Jay simply didn't want to be part of it, not when he hadn't asked to be there.

"I assure you it will be quiet, I promise to take care of you" the man's sentence was interrupted by knocks on the door. Slight, but he managed to hear it and nod to Jay as he momentarily turned away "Mi hija."

Jay didn't want to turn around so abruptly because he knew who it was, but it was impossible not to look in your direction when he heard your voice. He'd be lying if he said he'd only accepted that damn meeting in the middle of an even worse week just because he was going to your father's house. Anyway, he'd find you and here you are.

"Hi, papá. I was wondering if you'd finished the meeting" your Spanish accent was much better than your father's, that's for sure. Jay loved it.

"Am I keeping him too long?" your father asked, making you roll your eyes as the older man made room for your figure to appear in Jay's field of vision.

He shuddered as soon as your eyes met, you looked beautiful. Like never before. And it wasn't anything fancy or anything like he always used to see when his parents got together. You were wearing simple, completely casual clothes and your loose hair gave your figure even more comfort.

"I don't think you can leave him there knowing that he doesn't feel comfortable" you said afterward, still looking at Jay as you beckoned him to come closer.

And he did. He didn't want to listen to any more of those men while you were calling him in such a graceful and unique way. The boy's feet just moved towards you and stopped close enough to you, still remembering the figure of his father next to the two of you.

"Can we continue this conversation later, Park?" your father asked, his voice serious but not at all angry.

"Of course" Jay greeted him and waited for you to leave the room before following behind you.

A considerable distance in that huge corridor as the footsteps headed towards the elevator. Once your father had closed the door and the two of you were waiting, Jay finally managed to slip one of his arms around your waist and pull your body against his. Your back pressed against Jay's chest, your hand on his arm sliding down to his hand resting on your stomach.

"How did you know I was here?" he whispered between your hair, his lips moving down to your neck and placing a kiss there. That gave you a slight shiver before you pulled away from Jay as soon as the elevator arrived.

The two of you entered and you quickly pressed the button to the first floor to get out.

"I saw your car in front of the mansion" you said so simply that he didn't have anything to say.

Jay hadn't parked thinking you'd recognize him. He had the perfect plan to text you and ask you to meet him in front of his house because he would already be there. But you found him first.

"So you recognize him?" Jay joked and hugged you again, this time facing you and placing a kiss on the top of your head.

"Impossible not to recognize him when we've lived through so much in there, mi amor."

He laughed out loud at your response, but knowing full well that it was all true. Being with you in any corner of the house, his car, or the city, had a little piece of you both. There were memories that you both shared, with Jay between your legs or with the marks of your mouth all over his body. Jay wanted to remind you of him in every way.

"Come on, I'll get you out of here" he intertwined his fingers in yours as the elevator opened, quickly leaving and heading for his car.

"And where are you taking me?" you asked. Your hands were still intertwined with his, but you didn't let go until you reached Jay's car.

He unlocked and opened the door for you, letting you in on the passenger side while he quickly turned around to get in on the driver's side.

"You know the mountain overlooking the sea that Sunghoon mentioned last week?" Jay glanced at you as he started the car and pulled out from where it was parked.

"That he went with his girlfriend? I think I know" you tried to remember, knowing that he and Sunghoon talked about a lot of things and even if you knew them all, it was always good to try to remember.

"We never had sex there, did we?" you almost choked at Jay's sudden question, glancing up quickly when he felt your gaze on him, laughing as you imagined the horrified expression on his face. But he had to pay attention to the road in the meantime. "Answer me, mi amor" he slid his hand up your thigh, squeezing it even though the restriction of your pants prevented him from touching your skin.

"Never" you replied.

"Good" he managed to look at you for a few seconds, squeezing your thigh even tighter before turning his attention back to the road.

That would be another place you and he would claim, as you had done with almost every corner of the city you had visited together.

The contact of Jay's fingertips with your skin sent shivers throughout your body. He took all the time in the world with you, from taking you to the back of the car to undressing you slowly while you sat on his lap, kissing you just as slowly.

In those moments when Jay felt he needed you even more than usual, it was good to be able to enjoy every little moment you could.

The view of the mountain had been forgotten the second you both jumped into the back seat, knowing that the real journey there hadn't been the view from outside the car. You two could do that later, perhaps.

Nibbling on Jay's lower lip, you heard him hiss softly at the slightly better contact between the undersides of both your bodies after you'd got rid of your pants and were down to your underwear.

He loved feeling you. He loved everything you were capable of doing to his body and that's because the two of you were only kissing at the moment, but Jay felt so aroused that the tightness of his boxer shorts was beginning to show.

"I missed you so much" he whispered after a while in silence.

The breeze outside was the only sound apart from the kiss you two shared. You smiled, moving your face away from him enough so that Jay could look at you in the dim light of the night.

Your beauty was unreal. He couldn't tell you how lucky he was to be able to have you with him and call you his girlfriend. Jay knew that you were worth more than any money his father could have made from those businesses.

Making millions, leading things he didn't even want to know about, none of that compared to having met you. The scenario itself wasn't the best, you were his father's business partner's daughter, but seeing you at a fortnightly party while you blew off every man who came your way made Jay sigh. He would be the next to get dumped, you wouldn't give a chance to the man who didn't even want to be there in the first place.

But Jay was taken aback when he needed a breather and left the hall, finding you leaning against a bench and staring off into the distance. Talking to you that night only started what you and he had slowly built up to.

Did you also think the same, how Jay was the only one who managed to win your heart? You knew which men your father worked with and you'd be lying if you said you didn't look at any of them. But you'd be honest enough to say that no one had caught your eye like Jay did.

He was different from all the others because he was there with you. After all, you were... You. Not because you were the daughter of someone like your father. Jay didn't even care about that, to tell you the truth. He only focused on you and only you.

"Mi amor" Jay's whisper brought you out of your thoughts, his hand now resting on your ass and squeezing the flesh without too much force when you looked down. You were sitting perfectly aligned on the head of his cock, evident by the erection almost bursting through the fabric.

Your eyes went up to Jay's face and he smiled lazily, his mouth pink from the newly shared kiss as his hand squeezed a little tighter at the same second that your hip – involuntarily – brushed against his.

"Baby, fuck" he moaned, feeling his boxers get wet with pre-cum and knowing that his slide was only being made easier because you were just as wet as he was. Your wetness slowly spread as you rolled your hips back.

"What? Do you want to see the view then, mi amor?" you teased, nibbling on Jay's cheek and trailing your lips down to his jaw. Your moan was so sly when your boyfriend's hands pushed your panties aside enough for him to slide his hand down to your pussy.

Parting your lips and collecting a good amount of your juices, Jay let his fingers move slowly up and down your pussy until he found your clit.

"I'm having the best of it" he whispered, circling your clit with ease due to how wet you were.

Your moan was music to his ears as his fingers worked on circling your swollen, needy muscle. Jay knew how sensitive you were in that area and paying attention to that before anything else was something he prioritized, even if his cock was starting to ache from how much it was throbbing to be inside you.

"Jay, I need..." his fingers slid down your pussy until he had two of them in your hole, squeezing them as he began to pump in and out.

"What do you need?" he asked. You wanted to punch him for his audacity, even though he was being careful while he fucked you with his fingers in such a delicious way. Hitting specific spots and pressing his thumb on your clit "Tell me. I want you to tell me, y/n."

Motherfucker. Jay was a cute son of a bitch for being like that even when he wasn't degrading you and wanting to take care of every inch of your body.

You rolled over with his fingers inside you, one of your hands going to the hair on the back of his neck and pulling Jay's face back against the back of the seat. From that angle, his neck was even more visible to you and the marks you would leave on his tanned skin would be a reminder of what it was like the first time the two of you were on that mountain in his car.

"Baby" he whimpered as your teeth slid across his skin, nibbling and muffling his moans as Jay's fingers slid in and out of her wet pussy. The lewd sound of wetness made your eyes squeeze shut tightly as you still nibbled on it and made your way to Jay's earlobe.

"I love your fingers, you know" your voice was charged with arousal and you were panting, you wanted to moan when Jay stopped moving them, wanting to pay attention to you. But that didn't stop you from contracting your pussy and squeezing his fingers, causing your boyfriend to bring his other hand up to your thigh to slap you.

The burning on your skin combined with how fucked up you were just from being in that position and how you both were. You weren't going to come at that moment.

"But I love it even more when I have your cock inside me."

"Is that what you want?" Jay asked, his fingers slowly pulling out of you. You didn't have to be a master to know that now it was your turn to work, lifting your hips enough for him to take off your boxers and help you out of your panties, abandoning them along with everything else on the floor of the car.

That's exactly what you wanted. It was his cock that you'd been craving ever since you and Jay got into the back seat of the car. So that's what he was going to give you anyway. But not before teasing you some more.

Holding the base and taking advantage of the angle you were at so he could enter you, Jay ran the tip of his cock all over your pussy. Only pre-cum could help it go in easily, especially as his fingers had worked hard enough to make you wet for him too. But you knew it wouldn't stop there.

Circling your clit with the tip of his cock, then going down your hole and teasing where you wanted him at that moment. Jay didn't enter you, just stroking everything he could and collecting as much of your juices as he could to wet his cock.

"You're..."

"I'm what?" he asked, at which point Jay's cock released itself as soon as it was at your entrance and, rolling his hands to your hips, he pulled you down and thrust himself into you in one go "Say it, mi amor."

He ordered his voice raspy, a moan caught in his throat as your pussy hugged him so tightly. In such a delicious way that it fit so perfectly.

A few seconds passed before your hands went to his face, holding him so close and feeling Jay's breathing hitch as your hips began to work.

"You're a motherfucker" you laughed softly, letting him kiss you as you moaned through his movements.

Jay wanted you to take the lead that night, bouncing on his cock and slapping your ass against his thighs as you sat down the way you wanted. He wanted to feel you, he wanted to go deep inside you, but with your movements. It was the night that Jay needed you so badly, but at the same time, he didn't want to be rude. So making you sit on him was a way of being able to look at you and appreciate your features in front of him. The movement of your body going up and down, your chest pressed against his as your mouth opened to moan his name when the kiss became too much to bear.

He loved fucking you, loved swearing at you as he shoved his cock roughly into you. Jay loved going slow and making love, hearing you declare yourself, and being able to declare yourself too. But unlike all that, nothing could compare to the needy sex he loved to have with you.

As if every time his cock hit its sweet spot, he needed to hold onto any part of your body without letting go of you. Afraid that you would run away or get away from him before it was all over. That was when Jay allowed himself to be vocal all the time, with his hands squeezing your hips and leaving even stronger marks so that you would remember the next morning what the two of you had done.

Jay didn't want it to ever end, least of all with the stuffy air inside the car, the sounds of skin slapping, and your moans mingling with his. One thing fits into another to make that sex one of the best yet.

You gave in to Jay when you felt his hands go to your ass, gripping your buttocks tightly as your hips began to wobble. He knew you'd come at any moment – he wasn't much different – so helping you wouldn't be a problem.

Lifting you there, up and down on his cock, Jay tilted his hips in search of more contact to go to your limit, where his cock reached you and made you scream his name without caring if anyone else was out there to hear you two. All that mattered was how much you needed your boyfriend and how good he made you feel.

"Jay, mi amor..." you whimpered to him as your stomach gave the all-too-familiar feeling it was coming. Your hands, which were still holding his face, slid up to Jay's neck and one of them grabbed him by the throat. You didn't think about that act, being the only visible place you could hold on to as he leaned in to get you fucked before you both reached the edge.

"I know, baby. I know, come with me" the brushing of lips against each other, the uneven breathing as you moaned his name and he moaned yours.

You'd already forgotten the sting of Jay's nails digging into your ass, helping you move up and down on his cock and matching the movements with his hips thrusting into you. Your fingers on his neck tightened a little, by instinct, and that made Jay's eyes widen.

For a second he stopped his movements and stared at you. You stared back, not knowing what had happened, ready to open your mouth and ask him what was going on.

"Do it again" he ordered.

"What?" you swallowed, your throat dry from keeping your mouth open too long and your eyes searching for an answer to what your boyfriend had said.

"Squeeze..." he whispered "Your hand on my neck again, please."

Your eyes rolled to where he had said it, noticing only now that his hand had wrapped around her neck. Of course, it was nothing compared to when Jay did that, like a human necklace around your neck when he held you there. But you could see the effect it had on him when the orbs darkened and Jay thrust his cock deep into you again.

A scream and a moan came from your throat as the movements resumed, and you squeezed his neck again with your fingertips, using a little more force and seeing his eyes close in the process. Jay couldn't believe that this would make him come even more easily.

He could ask you to do it again and again if he had to, because it was something new that had made his cock throb even more inside you.

With your free hand, you leaned on the back of the seat next to Jay's head, helping to lift his hips as you squeezed his neck and let him fuck you into oblivion.

"Come with me, mi amor" your whisper was a warning that your knot was bursting, that you were going to come and you wanted him to be on the same frequency. And he was.

Because as soon as everything broke, your pussy contracted on his cock as you came. It didn't take half a second for Jay to spill inside you, hot jets of cum invading you as his cock was milked by every spasm of your twitching pussy.

He moaned your name with his lips parted, so inviting that you couldn't stand it, and nibbled on the bottom one, taking it between your lips while still riding Jay through the rest of the orgasm until there was nothing left.

The next few minutes were spent with Jay carefully getting you off his lap and reaching for the shirt he was wearing earlier to clean you up. Carefully because of the overstimulation and how sensitive you were.

You wanted to remain sitting on his lap, cuddled up to your boyfriend who was still trying to normalize his breathing little by little.

"I missed you, you know that?" Jay said after a while in silence, glancing quickly outside to notice the darkness of the night and then looking back at you. Exhausted, your skin is illuminated by the reflection of the moonlight and the sweat from your sudden activities. Jay cracked a wide smile at that.

"Why didn't you tell me you were there? I missed you too and I could have gotten you out of that room so quickly..."

"I know. I'm sorry, mi amor" Jay let you kiss his lips in the process, hugging your body to his, both of you tired "I wanted to try and surprise you."

"And you did it by bringing me here" you said with your lips still close to his, hearing your boyfriend's laugh even though it was low.

"How about we see the other view now? Or do you want to continue?" Jay asked.

You seemed to think for a moment, looking at him and then out of the car before letting out a sigh.

"A bit of that view wouldn't be a bad idea" you shrugged "But we can come back here later, we've got all night."

It was your turn to laugh when Jay looked shocked, but then grateful that you'd said that since he didn't want to leave too soon. He wanted to enjoy all the time he had with you.

The truth was that the boy didn't like anything his family was involved in, nothing his father had in mind for his future. But being in that environment had led Jay to you.

So perhaps the only good thing about being there was that he had you by his side. And for that Jay would always be grateful.

© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

[willows-escape]

Phantom HCs - Cherik with a Chubby!Reader

Pairing: 1990!Erik x GN!Reader

Warnings: fatphobia and nsfw content (has its own section)

Word Count: 2,370

Notes: This was a request that somebody sent me that I was really eager to write, as somebody who is plus sized/chubby myself. I might do it with the rest of the Phantoms I write for, but I don't know if that's something people would want to read?

Also, the series I spoke about in an earlier post - it’s still being worked on, but it shouldn’t hopefully be much longer. I’m looking to write around 11-ish parts, probably more, and I want to have three solid chapters written before I post the first one. Just so I can have the chapters to post while writing the next few. Having both female and male versions to write is also slowing it down, but I hope the wait will be worth it !

⟢ Erik does NOT care if you're chubby, skinny, average size or whatever. Your size isn't even a thing to him.

⟢ This Erik isn't as focused on stereotypical beauty as the others - he originally takes notice of Christine due to her voice, and the fact she looks like his mother is only an extra added bonus lol.

⟢ So I feel like your appearance is just not an important factor to him. It would be other things about you that would attract him first. Anyone could be stereotypically attractive, but not everyone could be you.

⟢ But don't be mistaken, he definitely thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world.

⟢ If you worked at the Opera Populaire, and he saw the way other workers teased you or gossiped behind your back, he'd be scratching his head in confusion.

⟢ He may be hopelessly infatuated, but he couldn't see anything about you that was laughable.

⟢ I'm not trying to imply this Phantom is ignorant or unaware of societal norms - unlike the others, he has a strong relationship with somebody who links him to the outside world. He hides due to his own flaws, after all.

⟢ He knows being slender and thin is the current ideal, but he also knows that ten years ago having a bigger body with soft curves was also largely desirable. So he didn't like to pay much attention to societies trends. They changed like the wind.

⟢ Which is why he'd sometimes forget that not everybody looked at you as if you were an angel that was sent from heaven to grace the earth.

⟢ If people's teasing and rude comments ever affected you so deeply that you brought it up to him, that would be the only time he ever acknowledged your body type. And his acknowledgement would only be vehement reassurance and exclamations of his affection towards you.

⟢ "But my cheeks are so fat, it makes my face look like a ball!"

⟢ "A very beautiful and loveable ball!"

⟢ He wasn't great at the whole reassurance thing.

⟢ After a while of courting you and as he began to realise how cruel some people could be to the most gorgeous person he knew - he began to feel a sense of solidarity with you.

⟢ He believed he was beyond hope and that he could never be accepted into the real world, and he wouldn't ever insult you by trying to say you were as repulsive as him. You were anything but that. Yet he felt as if you two were on some kind of wavelength.

⟢ You were both looked down upon for things as flimsy as physical appearances, and he felt a little closer to you due to that.

⟢ And he had a few existential crisis' where he laid awake at night thinking about how maybe society is the problem, not him, because how can they even ridicule you when you were perfection!

⟢ Then he'd take off his mask and look in the mirror and be like nope, he's definitely the problem.

⟢ Anyways. Less sadness and insecurity, and more fluff!

⟢ He loved how comfortable and soft you were. Erik had never held another person in his arms before you, never laid with his head on somebodies lap while they read him a book and mindlessly ran their fingers through his hair.

⟢ And he loved it.

⟢ His favourite time of day was when it came time to go to sleep, and he could lay with his head on your chest, arms wrapped around your waist and drift off into sweet sleep.

⟢ It took him a while to become so comfortable with this, though. It was weird enough that you two didn't have a chaperone during your meetings, never mind sharing affection. But if you asked him enough and tried to sneak in lingering touches and small caresses, he'd fold.

⟢ "Want to hold my hand yet?"

⟢ "Same answer as half hour ago, no."

⟢ "Am I truly so horrid that you do not wish to even hold my hand?"

⟢ "That is not what I said."

⟢ He didn't understand that couples followed these courtship rules in public, but were definitely smooching and snuggling in private. Even if you tried to explain that to him.

⟢ But eventually he caved.

⟢ He was touch starved beyond belief, so it didn't take him long to give in. Maybe a month or so. But it was also an awkward experience for him at first, so expect to give him a lot of guidance.

⟢ "This just doesn't feel right, why on earth would somebody lay like this when they are far more efficient and comfortable positions for somebody to lay?"

⟢ "That's because your arm's meant to be behind my neck, Erik, not over it."

⟢ "Ah. Yes, that feels better."

⟢ But once he got the hang of it, he was obsessed. Every part of you just fit so perfectly in his arms, you slotted together like puzzle pieces. It was glorious.

⟢ If you ever lived together, whether that be you go down below to stay with him or he manages to somehow bring himself to live with you amongst the real world (which would take many years and a ton of hard work), your evening conversations may look a bit like this:

⟢ "Excuse me, but when are you retiring to bed? Your scarf can wait until the morning." He was subtly glaring down at the knitting needles cradled in your hands as he spoke.

⟢ "Not long, just give me a few more minutes. I just want to complete this row of stitches."

⟢ "Alright, but when you come to bed, can you wear some of your summer nightwear?"

⟢ "But why? We're in the middle of winter, I'll freeze."

⟢ "I'll keep you warm." *leaves*

⟢ He definitely didn't just prefer the thinner fabric of your summer nightwear, which meant he could feel your body press against his and also allowed him to feel every curve of your figure with no barrier.

⟢ If you ever got married, expect him to just ask you to sleep naked. Not even for sexual reasons, he just loves the feeling of you.

⟢ You'd have a hard time refusing him in the colder months.

⟢ Also, imagine him singing you to sleep? His back resting against the headboard while you snuggled up against him, his hands delicately trailing over your skin and leaving goosebumps in their path as he sung to you.

⟢ That's an idea to elaborate on for another day.

⟢ Returning to the previous topic of his love of physical affection, kissing you would be magical.

⟢ And he'd be terrible at it.

⟢ The first time you kissed, you'd be the person to lean in first. And he'd look at you as if you'd grown two heads, but he wouldn't deny you. He'd go through many mood swings in the two seconds it took for your lips to touch.

⟢ "Erik," you'd eventually have to pull away, "Pucker your lips, and close your mouth a bit."

⟢ "My apologies."

⟢ That also has nothing to do with the head canon topic, I just wanted to include that.

⟢ Erik would love to draw you. Before he ever approached you, he'd spend his time making sketch after sketch of you, trying to immortalise every vision of you he had in his mind.

⟢ He'd get frustrated that he couldn't properly capture your true charm, but after a while of drawing for hours a day for a long period of time, he'd soon become an incredible artist. He wouldn't use this particular skill for much, unless you asked him to.

⟢ He also couldn't really draw anything that wasn't a person, considering his practice was very limited to one subject.

⟢ He'd have to send Gerard on trips to the store often to keep up with his new hobby.

⟢ "Erik, why do you suddenly need all this paper? The store clerk said he's had to order an earlier shipment of the stuff, because I'm buying up all his supply!"

⟢ "You wouldn't understand."

⟢ He'd also design and create the prettiest clothes for you, ones that would flaunt and uhm, extenuate, your best assets. So much material and thread would be stolen from the company in his pursuits.

⟢ He'd start doing this before you two even properly met, and when you began courting, you'd be taken aback by his display of clothing that he kept scattered around the catacombs.

⟢ Those dresses were probably not intended for him.

⟢ You'd grow especially suspicious when he began offering you these items of clothing, and how they all seemed to perfectly fit you like a glove.

⟢ "Erik, why are all these clothes my size? It's as if you took a measuring tape and made these clothes specifically to fit me."

⟢ "Just things the costume department had laying around."

⟢ "The costume department definitely does not keep clothing in my size."

⟢ "Well, they did when I got them."

⟢ Moving on lol

⟢ There are many reasons somebody may gain weight, but assuming you don't have a condition that causes it and simply appreciated food, Erik would be floored at all your weird and wonderful ways of preparing and eating your meals.

⟢ "What is in this bottle? It looks grainy, you aren't planning on putting this on your food, are you?"

⟢ "It's seasoning! Come on, try it! It makes the food taste a thousand times better!"

⟢ "Seasoning? Isn't that expensive?"

⟢ "Hey, you give me the money for the food, you don't tell me what category of food it needs to be spent on. I'm sure your salary is more than enough to cover the cost."

⟢ He'd grumble about how he was saving it for more important things, like wedding attire and a new instrument that he wanted to learn, but he wouldn't actually mind. His salary was definitely generous.

⟢ One time, he caught you sitting in the sun in the woods, and he was about to approach you when he saw the most baffling thing. You had a cloth splayed on the grass, covered in a weird brown substance that you were dipping strawberries in!

⟢ "What the hell is that?"

⟢ "Melted chocolate! *nom nom nom, gulp!* It's delicious with strawberries, would you like to try?"

⟢ "I'm quite alright, thanks."

⟢ Okay, your food choices were pretty normal, but for sheltered Erik who only ate things in their original state with no added flavour enhancers, he was shocked.

⟢ He might eventually expand his food palate, but it would take plenty of convincing on your behalf. He was perfectly happy with his unbuttered bread, thank you.

⟢ He was exceedingly stubborn.

⟢ But he's a fool for you, really <3

NSFW SECTION

⟢ You'd either have to be the most seductive person to walk the earth before Erik agrees to do anything sexual with you, or you'd have to be married.

⟢ Considering his intense attraction to you, it wouldn't be hard for him to consider you the first option.

⟢ For the purpose of this head canon, let's assume either one is true and he says yes.

⟢ The moment the first article of clothing comes off of you, he's starstruck. He can't believe he didn't say yes sooner.

⟢ He's torn between being regretful that he waited that long and feeling euphoric that he's really about to worship your body to his hearts content.

⟢ He's incredibly touchy feely. Consider every part of your body groped and kissed at least five times.

⟢ Favourite position is definitely you riding him. He'd have a few hang ups on it at first, as missionary back then was the only sex position that the church approved of, and he felt guilty about making you do so much work.

⟢ But he'd learnt his lesson about denying you by then.

⟢ You always had the greatest ideas, if those strawberries dipped in chocolate were anything to go by.

⟢ His eyes were greedy, watching the way you'd lower and lift yourself up and down his aching length. The way your skin stretched over your muscles as you chased your climax, eyebrows furrowed and shoulders hunched as you rested the palms of your hands on his chest.

⟢ He didn't know whether he wanted to keep his eyes locked onto you, or where your bodies were connected down below.

⟢ Just the thought made him so worked up and flustered he'd break a sweat.

⟢ His hands fit so perfectly in the dips of your waist, encouraging your movements as you rutted your hips against his. You looked like a painting, your plush thighs pressed tightly into his sides as you worked yourself into bliss.

⟢ He'd run his hands over every part of you, being extra cautious of being gentle. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you.

⟢ He definitely finished early the first like. 20 times you did that position. He felt terrible, but you considered it an amazing confidence boost. All apologies would die on his tongue the minute you'd lay down and ask him to finish the job by other means instead.

⟢ And speaking of thighs - his head being crushed by your thighs as he went down on you? God yes. He was used to the feeling of something constantly covering his face, and your legs were a welcome addition.

⟢ He's definitely messy and obviously inexperienced, so his rhythm would be uncomfortable and all over the place to begin with. But he'd figure out what drives you crazy in no time.

⟢ He's very, very eager to please. He'd worship every inch of you at every opportunity he could.

⟢ And have you seen this man's hands? Yum.

⟢ If you ever surprised him by wearing something skimpy or risqué? I hope you didn't have any plans for the next few hours. He's definitely taking his time with his gift.

THIS MAN UGH HE'S SO 😭💗

[fandomfucker]

Poly TJD x reader angst/ fluff

Reader is sick but insists on her partners going to work. But while her partners are at work she tries to get up but passes out in the living room by the couch. Partners arrive home and find her still pressed out. Turns out to be severe flu

A/N I'm sick and miserable right now as well and I fully believe this one-shot cursed me. This is also exactly how I act but I was a good girl and I take liquid medicine😤

Word count: 2,725

Reader's POV

The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. Smiles graced the four beautiful faces of my partners around the breakfast table.

And I felt like dogshit.

My throat was on fire while my head pounded. My nose was so stuffed it was like trying to breathe through a brick wall and I was freezing to death.

My partners were up a bit earlier than usual because they had to go to work soon and I could hear them in the dining room downstairs. Tonight was Monday Night RAW and all four of them were required to be there for a surprise match involving Dominik and Finn.

Stumbling down the stairs into the kitchen, I tried not to trip over the king-sized comforter I had wrapped around myself and dragged off the bed.

Making a beeline for the medicine cabinet I kept my eyes on the floor in front of me, refusing to even accidentally make eye contact with any of my partners for fear of them hounding me with their overprotectiveness.

Rifling through the different bottles I kept a lookout for the cold medicine one. After searching for a few minutes I eventually gave up, accepting that we didn't have anymore, and just grabbed some ibuprofen instead.

I turned around to go grab a cup of water and screamed as I jumped, dropping the medicine bottle as I came face to face with my four partners.

"Holy shit! You guys scared me." I pouted, resting a hand over my chest to calm my racing heart as I bent over and rested the other hand on my knee.

"Whatcha doin', love?" Finn asked me bemused as the other three stood around him, all with a look of confusion, concern, or both on their faces.

"Nothing. I just have a bit of a headache and I'm really cold. Nothin' to worry about Loves." I gave them all a small smile as I leaned down to pick up the dropped bottle.

I winced in pain as all the blood rushed to my forehead, only increasing the force of my pounding headache.

"Let me get that, Babe." Rhea swooped in, pushing me to stand back up as she grabbed the medicine bottle for me. "Go lay down."

I shook my head slightly as she moved to grab me water to take my pills with as Dominik held my shoulders and guided me to the living room couch.

He gently pushed me to sit down before sitting next to me, rubbing my back to bring some warmth to my body.

Finn and Damian were not far behind and sat on the floor in front of me, each of them propped up on one of my thighs.

I glared up at Rhea as she came back with cold medicine, a bottle of water, some saltine crackers, a box of tissues, and a thermometer.

"You need to eat something before you take the medicine," She shoved the crackers in my hands before I could protest, taking the open seat on my other side as she brushed my hair out of my face. "Do you want me to make you any soup?"

"No, thank you. But don't you guys have to go to work?" I asked annoyed.

"Not if you're sick, mi amor." Damian soothed me as he rubbed my knee.

"I'm fine. If anything it's just a little cold." I reassured them, opening the crackers and beginning to munch on them.

"Yeah, well we'll see about that won't we?" Rhea announced as she got the thermometer ready to check my temperature.

"Stay still Babe." She ordered softly as she held the machine to my forehead, waiting for the beep that signaled it was done.

Having stopped mid-chew to fulfill her orders, I waited until the beep sounded and the item was removed from my face before continuing to eat my crackers.

Rhea frowned as she looked at the results.

"101.2. That's a minor fever, Hermosa." Damian informed the group, reading the thermometer over Rhea's shoulder from the floor still.

"It's literally fine." I rolled my eyes, right before I went into a small sneezing fit.

Dominik grabbed a couple of tissues from the box on my lap and hurriedly thrust them into my hands.

"Aw, fuck that hurt my throat." I groaned, throwing my head back against the couch as I wiped at my nose with the mountain of tissues.

"I'll call Paul, tell him we can't fight tonight," Finn announced as he stood up to go get his phone.

"No! No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. All four of you are going to go to Raw tonight and kick ass. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I swear." I protested.

"You pinkie promise?" Dominik asked me, his puppy eyes were fully showcased as he held up his finger for me to interlock with my own.

"Pinkie promise." I smiled, wrapping my pinkie around his before bringing our hands to my lips to seal the promise with a kiss.

I looked to Finn to make sure he wouldn't go and call their boss and say they couldn't come.

His eyes darted to Rhea, ever the leader of the group, and nodded before sitting back down.

"We better start getting our stuff ready to leave then, chicos," Damian spoke, standing up and kissing my forehead before making his way to the bedroom we all shared.

The other three followed in his footsteps, kissing my forehead and then going to the bedroom. Rhea being the only one who lingered.

"Hey," I took her hand in mine, bringing her even closer to me. "I feel a little under the weather, but I promise I'll still be in one piece by the time you all get back. I'll take some medicine and a nap and be good as new in no time."

She bit her lip, still hesitant to leave me alone. She eventually gave in and nodded, giving me a long lingering kiss on the forehead before following the boys to the bedroom.

I reached a hand away from the blanket cocoon I'd stuck myself in to grab the remote from the coffee table and turned the TV on, beginning to channel surf.

About ten minutes later all four of my partners walked out of the bedroom, bags in tow.

"We have to get going now if we're gonna make it in time to get ready before the show, muñeca," Damian informed me, gingerly sitting beside me to stroke my hair.

I nodded my understanding, still eating the crackers like Rhea told me to as I paid most of my attention to Child's Play on the screen in front of me.

"Y/n?" Finn tried to get my attention, deciding to just grab my face and turn it towards him after I only made a noise of acknowledgment at him.

He then grabbed my hand and dropped two rather large-looking pills into it. "Take these, please. They'll make you feel better, and then you can take two more in another four hours, okay?"

I nodded my head, gulping at the sheer size of the medication. I was not a huge pill person and my partners knew that.

Damian kissed my right temple and Finn my left as they said their goodbyes for the night, getting up to make room for the other two to say their own goodbyes.

Dom placed his hands on my cheeks, kissing my forehead and whispering a small prayer in Spanish against my skin before making room for Rhea.

She sat down next to me and put a hand on my thigh, telling the boys she'd meet them in the car.

I waved and blew a kiss to my boys as they walked out before focusing on Rhea's beautiful face.

"Be a good girl for Mami and take those pills, okay? I know they're really big but they'll make you feel better. We'll be back before you know it but if you need anything at all just call and we'll answer." She looked deep into my eyes, meaning every word as her thumb stroked my thigh.

"I will Mami," I answered.

She smiled and kissed me on the cheek before getting up and making her exit to the car. She blew me one of her signature kisses before closing the door behind her.

Looking back at the ginormous pills in my hand, I decided that I didn't really feel bad enough to take them. I'd be fine.

I spent the next few hours slowly finishing off my crackers throughout a horror movie marathon as I made my way through the box of tissues as well.

My headache had gotten worse, to the point that I was a little dizzy and disoriented. Deciding to take the much smaller ibuprofen pills, I unwrapped myself from my fluffy burrito of blankets and stood up.

I immediately swayed a bit but just chalked it up to the headache and gingerly made my way to the kitchen.

Pausing in the doorway of the kitchen I rested a hand on the wall to brace myself, tightly closing my eyes in an effort to rid the dizziness.

Opening my eyes, I continued to make my way back to the medicine cabinet, grabbed the ibuprofen, and then turned around to make my way back to the solace of my fuzzy cocoon.

A huge wave of dizziness came over me as I reached the corner of the couch. I stumbled, tripping over my own feet, and hit the floor, seeing spots right before seeing nothing.

3rd Person POV

The four members of the Judgment Day walked out of the arena, jovial after their win. Shoving into each other as they joked and laughed, they made their way to their truck.

"Stop!" Damian shouted joyfully as he laughed, shoving Dominik away from him before he could make another wild jab. "I'm gonna call Y/n and check-in, I'll be right there."

The other three voiced their acknowledgment as they continued making their way to the car while Damian stayed back and pulled out his phone, hitting the stared contact.

The line rang. And rang. And rang before eventually going to voicemail. Frowning, Damian hit the call button again which rang until going to voicemail again.

Hurriedly making his way to the truck, he hopped into the passenger side and turned to the rest of the group. "She's not answering."

The three other members looked at him with concern.

"Well, she's probably just asleep, right? I mean, she was pretty tired when we left and the medicine might've knocked her out. Not to mention it's pretty late." Dominik tried to reason, hoping to God that that was all it was.

"Yeah." Rhea agreed, "But let's just speed home anyways, right?" She nodded toward Finn who was in the driver's seat.

Finn nodded, shifting the car into drive and taking off, speeding home to their girl.

In the backseat of the truck, Rhea and Dom took turns trying to call Y/n again to no avail. Six missed calls later the group was now very worried. Typically, Y/n never had her ringer off and was generally a pretty light sleeper, so her being able to sleep through a total of eight full rings was alarming.

"Finn?" Rhea ventured, her voice beginning to shake slightly. "Drive faster."

~Time Skip~

Throwing open the car doors, all four Judgment Day members hopped out of the truck and ran to the front door. Finn quickly unlocked the door and they all battled to make it through the door first. Rhea being Rhea won and was already running to the living room where they'd left her earlier that day.

"Y/n?" Rhea called out, not seeing anything amiss at first glance. However, coming around the corner she noticed a pair of fuzzy sock-clad feet on the ground. Walking closer she saw the full form of their partner face down, unconscious.

"Y/n!" She ran over and fell to her knees beside Y/n, rolling her over and checking her pulse.

The boys immediately came running as they heard Rhea scream. Damian saw Rhea checking Y/n's pulse as she lay on the floor, along with the dropped bottle of ibuprofen, pills having spilled out all over the floor, and immediately thought the worst.

"Finn! Call an ambulance!"

~Time Skip~

Reader's POV

Somewhere far off I could hear the jumbled voices of my four partners hushedly arguing. I couldn't quite make out what they were arguing about but I could hear the clear upset in their voices.

I groggily opened my eyes, immediately closing them again as the harsh fluorescent lights around me hurt my eyes.

"Y/n?" I heard a voice speak from next to me. It was then I noticed that both of my hands were encased in two others.

I made a noise that vaguely sounded like 'ugh' before I opened my eyes again just a smidge. I felt one of four hands disappear from my touch and then the lights went out before I felt them come back again.

Opening my eyes a bit more I saw the beautiful faces of my four partners looking back at me. Rhea was on my right with Finn next to her, Damian and then Dom were on my left.

"Hey, sweetheart. How ya feelin'?" Rhea smiled softly at me, stroking my hair. I noticed her hand was shaking a bit so I squeezed the other hand that I was already holding.

"My head hurts and my nose is still pretty stuffy, but other than that, okay I guess." I smiled sleepily, pushing my head further into her hand like a cat so she wouldn't stop.

Damian's deep voice sounded next, switching my attention to the other side of the bed. "You had us pretty worried there, corazón."

I just frowned at him in confusion. "Why? What happened?"

It was then that I started to survey my surroundings beyond my partners and saw that I was lying in a hospital bed.

"You passed out, love." Finn supplied from further down the bed. I could hear the fear in his voice, the shakiness of it mixed with the pure relief made me want to cry.

Remembering why I had even passed out in the first place made me feel so incredibly guilty. If I had just taken the medicine like Mami told me to we wouldn't even be in this situation in the first place.

My lip started to quiver and I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes.

"Hey. Hey, hey, hey, mi amor. We aren't mad, it's okay." Dominik immediately stood up and leaned towards me, trying to calm me down so that I wouldn't cry and make my sinuses worse.

I heaved a deep breath in, looking up at the ceiling to try and reduce the waterworks before they could actually overflow. 

"I'm so-" I started to apologize to the four of them for scaring them so badly but was cut off by Rhea. 

"No, baby. We're sorry. We all know that you don't like taking pills, especially ones as big as the ones we gave you. I should've just gone out and gotten you the liquid version so you would actually take it and-"

I cut Rhea off by placing a finger over her lips to silence her. Typically I would've just kissed her but I didn't want to get her sick. 

"It's okay. They really weren't that big. I could've taken them, I just chose not to." I explained timidly.

"Well," Damian cleared his throat, gaining the room's attention. "The doctors said that you have a pretty bad case of the flu but so long as you take some Tamiflu for the next couple of days, have lots of rest and lots of liquids you'll be right as rain in no time."

"Yeah, doc said you can be out of here in a few hours." Dom continued.

I just nodded my head and smiled softly at my partners.

"Still, I'm sorry for scaring you guys." I apologized timidly, keeping my eyes on my fingers as I drew circles on whatever parts of my partners I could reach, not wanting to meet their eyes.

"Y/n, you're sick and honestly you probably would've passed out either way. So, believe us when we tell you that there's absolutely nothing to be sorry for." Finn explained to me earnestly.

"Ok," I agreed quietly. I didn't really feel like arguing with them, especially since he made a pretty good point.

"Go ahead and go back to sleep, babe. We'll get that discharge paperwork started and get you home in no time." Rhea told me. I decided to take her up on that since I was still so exhausted.

Closing my eyes, I murmured a small "I love you" to the group, hearing four voices echoing it back in response just before losing consciousness again. On purpose this time.

[wannabekook]

Good Graces - Part Two

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Please do not copy or post my work anywhere!

(ʙᴀɴɴᴇʀ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛ)

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:

Part One

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Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader Summary: Betrayal is heavy even between the love they share. Though she loves him, his actions and words are more than hurtful to himself rather than others around him. Warnings: TOXIC!Rafe (honestly cannon), SEMI TOXIC!Reader, hella angst. Cannon events of s1e5. Word Count: 3.5k+ Proofread?: Yes, by @socialpsycho484 A/N: Ngl I was giggling like a fool at the amount of angst and toxicity in this part of the series and I’m so absolutely excited to start the next part but unfortunately have to put it writing on pause for the weekend due to my cousins wedding. I hope you all enjoy! Remember positive feedback is highly encouraged and requests are open! Send in any requests or dirty thoughts and I'll respond with my own as well as what that character would do. If you want to be on my taglist just send through my ask box and I'll put you down. Don't forget to follow and turn on post notifications to know when I post next. This is my reblogs, follow to see what I be reading. :)

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Of course I knew Rafe was being serious about me going to Midsummers with him. He had taken me shopping the other day to pick out a dress that matched his sky blue suit which of course didn’t take me long to fall in love with the first one I saw. A satin spaghetti strap that was the exact same color as his suit with a thigh split that hugged me just right. Paired with silver strappy heels to match. My hair in a bun with two pieces from my bangs framing my face. A small diamond tiara on my head as I put the final touches on my makeup. A shout from my parents downstairs telling me that Rafe was here. Glancing at my clock on my nightstand to see it was five o’clock on the dot. A soft scoff escapes my lips as I roll my eyes “Of course..” I mutter to myself, exactly like Rafe to actually be punctual. 

I make my way down the steps, holding onto the railing as I descend. Rafe standing in the foyer, his eyes immediately landing on the steps as he hears me come down. He watches as I come into view, eyes widening softly in adoration. His lips part as he’s about to say something, I look at him with a shy smile on my face. The words immediately die on his tongue as he just stares at me. I now stand at the bottom of the stairs, shifting my weight from foot to foot as we just stare at each other. Feeling strangely nervous under his gaze as I watched him with careful eyes. Rafe cleared his throat before looking away, a hand running down his face before looking back at me with his usual unreadable glance paired with his signature smirk. And just like that, the moment is gone causing me to shake out of my shy nervous state. 

“You ready?” Rafe sighed out as he walked towards me, still raking his eyes over my figure. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” I met Rafe halfway in the foyer. He extended his arm for me to hook on to which I gladly accepted with a small smile. He led the both of us out my front door and to his car. Letting go of my arm to open the passenger door for me.

“Thank you.” I say softly as I climb into the Range Rover. He nods before closing the door and  making his way over to the driver side, getting in. He starts up the truck as he looks over to me with a small smile on his face.

“You look good.” He said softly, his eyes trailing down to my thigh that’s exposed by the thigh split. His eyes making their way back to my face as I feel heat crawl up the back of my neck to the tips of my ears. “You always look good though.” he said genuinely, causing the heat to spread to my cheeks as I looked over to him through my eyelashes.

“Thank you, you look good too.” I said shyly, slightly surprising myself with how timid my voice came out. Rafe let out a slight chuckle as he turned his attention forward, pulling out of my driveway to begin the short drive to the country club.

The entire ride eerily silent, the both of us glancing at each other from the corners of our eyes. Seeming like we both are afraid to break the silence first. Before I knew it he was pulling into the parking lot of the country club. I let out a soft sigh as I looked towards the building, seeing half of the island inside and out on the patio. The nervousness slowly crept back into my system. Rafe seemingly sensed my nervousness as he placed a soft hand on my arm, pulling my attention to him. My eyes softened slightly as I tilted my head silently at him.

“Come on, it’ll be okay.” he nodded reassuringly to me, causing me to smile at him with a nod.

“Alright, I’ll believe you.” I said nervously as I reached my hand to touch his on my arm. With that he smiled widely at me and pulled his hand away. Doing the usual routine of getting out and helping me out of the car. He grabs my hand to help me steady myself as I place one foot on the ground, pulling away as I am fully out of the car. I move over to the side allowing him to close the passenger door. He held out his arm for me to take once again, hooking my arm with his as we began our way into the building. 

As soon as we made it into the building it felt like everyone suddenly stopped and turned to look at us. I sucked in a sharp breath as I looked around, slowly exhaling as it seemed like only a few people had turned their attention towards us. Rafe’s gaze immediately snapped to the side of my face when he heard me suck in a breath. His arm slightly tightening around mine, in a reassuring way. I turned my gaze to look up at him, meeting his eyes staring intensely at me. His gaze unwavering as worry filled his usually stoic expression, leaning down close to my ear.

“It’s okay.” he said against the shell of my ear, his breath hot against my skin. A shiver runs down my spine as I can only nod in response not trusting my voice at the moment. He pulled back to look at my now reddened face. I looked away as I cleared my throat and pulled completely away from him, putting distance between us. Not wanting to have those who were watching us thinking we were actually together. Knowing that it would never happen. Knowing that he views me only as his best friend. 

He watched me pull away, a microscopic frown formed on his face. I didn’t look at him back to him as I moved away from him, moving more into the room of the country club. His arm darted out to grab ahold of me before pulling it back as he clenched his fist, watching me for a moment before following after me.

I glanced around the room, trying to find Topper and Kelce. Absolutely not needing to be alone with Rafe. Not trusting myself to be with him alone in this room full of people. Rafe right on my heels, letting out an annoyed sigh. o

“(Y/N).” Rafe exhaled softly, reaching out to grab my arm. Stopping me in my tracks as soon as he touched me. I turned around, looking up at him with an unreadable gaze. My gaze caused his eyebrows to furrow before he licked his lips. “Never mind.” he shook his head dismissively  before letting go of my arm. Now it was my turn for my eyebrows to furrow. 

“No, what?” I spoke softly, only earning a head shake from him as he looked away from me. 

“Nothing. Forget it.” he huffed before walking away, further into the crowd. Leaving me standing there confused as I watched his figure retreat. A bit disappointed for the abrupt abandonment but also thankful for it at the same time. 

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The sun is about to set, the party in full swing as I lean against one of the railings outside. Watching everyone on and around the dance floor with a glass of champagne in my hand. Sarah of course on the dance floor having fun. Rafe, Topper and Kelce along with a few of their other friends standing in a circle near the dance floor talking amongst themselves. A smile on my face as I watch Rafe for a moment, tipping my glass up to my lips to take a sip. The champagne hit the back of my throat right as Rafe turned his head slightly, catching me staring. My heart stops beating for a second as our eyes meet, he smiles softly at me with a small wave. He went back to paying attention to his friends as a figure with a drink tray moving quickly through the crowd caught my attention. The blonde curls on the figure's head are easily recognizable, JJ. Worry swirled viciously in my stomach as I watched him walk past Rafe, letting out a soft exhale as Rafe didn’t seem to notice him. Knowing exactly what would happen if Rafe did see him. Confusion is now taking over me, making me wonder how he got in when I knew he wasn’t working as a server for this year's Midsummers. I turned my head towards the beach since that’s the only possible way he could’ve snuck up without noticing, shaking my head softly as I turned back to keep a careful eye on both JJ and Rafe. My eyebrows furrowed when I couldn’t spot him for a moment before finding him right as he handed something over to Sarah. Making her look confused at it as they talked amongst themselves. Whatever his reply was to her caused her to smile and walk away from him. My eyes darted around for a moment to see where Rafe was, frowning when I no longer saw him, Kelce or Topper where they were before. Panic surging as I turned to look back towards JJ who now had Rafe’s hands on the kid’s shoulders with Kelce right next to him. Both of them looked at JJ like he was some kind of prey to them. My stomach twists with uneasiness as I begin to walk over to them, setting my glass down on a nearby table. Rafe signaled for the other boys to come over as they all began to follow JJ into the building before I’m able to reach them. My pace quickened as I followed them. Clattering of chairs being pushed around and startled noises out of guests being heard as the boys busted out into a sprint as soon as they got into the building. I tried my best to keep up, apologizing softly to the people who they disturbed. Furrowing my eyebrows as I looked around trying to find them but coming up short until I heard groans coming from the men's locker room. My eyebrows shoot up as I go towards the locker room. My heels clack against the flooring as I move closer.

“Learn your etiquette, my friend.” Rafe calmly says with a sarcastic tone as JJ sounds like he’s struggling. I move to the area they’re in, letting out a loud gasp as I see that Kelce is holding JJ in a choke hold with Rafe standing in front of them. None of them realized I had made my way in as they continued to terrorize JJ. The room suddenly went silent for me as I watched in horror. JJ spat on Rafe for whatever he had said. Rafe’s fist came up about to punch JJ in the face before I sprinted to stand in front of JJ. My eyes narrowed at Rafe as I stared at him with disapproval and anger causing him to falter a bit, Kelce finally letting go of JJ. Rafe’s lips parted as he stared at me, guilt swirling in his body language for a brief second before going back to being indecipherable.  

“Gentlemen!” a security guy boomed as he flicked the lights “Is there a problem here guys?” the guy asked as Rafe moved to push me behind him. JJ of course being JJ hiked up the dramatics, making a joke of the situation. Rafe scratched at his ear while stifling a disbelieving laugh at JJ’s stupidity before scowling as JJ gets escorted out. 

“You Powerpuff Girls have fun.” JJ looks back to tease, a smirk on his face before turning back around. Rafe looks like he’s about to say something causing me to put my hand on his arm to try to get him to not say anything. But of course he just shrugs me off and steps forward with a smirk on his face.

“Tell Kiara she’s pretty hot for a Pouge.” he called out after JJ, voice dripping in sarcasm still. JJ pushed at the security guy rushing back towards Rafe before Kelce grabbed hold of him, pushing at him as the security guy grabbed JJ again. My eyes widened as I looked at the back of Rafe’s head in disbelief. Words muffled as I just stared in shock at Rafe. I see Rafe’s shoulders shake in a laugh as he turns to look at me, his expression faltering as he’s met with my glower. 

“What?” he spouted out as his look soon matched mine. My eyebrows raised as I blinked out at the tone he used on me, a scoff escaping my lips. My mind reeling due to the fact he actually used the same harsh tone he uses when he’s in the presence of someone he dislikes. 

He looks from me to Kelce, signaling with his head to get everyone out so he and I could talk alone. I shook my head at him, not wanting to hear a single thing he had to say. Putting my hand up to keep him from speaking. His lips opened and closed like a fish out of the water as he just stared at me trying to figure out what he wanted to say. I waited for Kelce to leave before opening my mouth.

“I absolutely have no words for you Rafe Cameron.” I spit out harshly as I glared daggers into him. His shoulders sagging a bit, fully knowing he’s about to hear the onslaught of my words. 

“(Y/N), please-” he starts but is cut off by my bitter laugh as I point my finger at him.

“No, absolutely not. You are not allowed to talk.” I said sternly as I pointed back at myself “I’m talking and you’re going to listen to the words I have to say.” I stepped closer as I dropped my hand to my side. Closing the distance between us as I kept my gaze locked onto his.

“You’re a real piece of shit for what you did. JJ wasn’t doing anything at all to harm anyone. I don’t understand what it is that you have against him besides him just being from The Cut.” I took a breath in as I searched his eyes for any sign of remorse but of course he built up his walls as he just stared at me blankly. I shook my head softly with a small disbelieving laugh. 

“That’s really why you hate everyone from The Cut? Because they weren’t born with a silver spoon in their mouth? Because they continually have to struggle from not having a constant source of income?” I sneered at him, pushing a finger into his chest. I raised my eyebrows at him, waiting for any type of response from him. His jaw clenched as he seemed to be lost behind his eyes, deep in thought. After a few moments of silence he let out a soft sigh.

“He’s a dirty Pogue. He’s good for nothing and a thief! He pulled a gun on Topper at The Boneyard not too long ago!” he tried to defend as I just shook my head with a laugh.

“That is not your fight then Rafe.” I say simply as I look into his eyes “If he’s just a dirty Pogue then what are you? You’re just as bad as him if you decide to use violence against someone to assert your authority. But also wasn’t Topper holding John B under the water when JJ pressed the gun to his head?” I questioned with a condescending tone causing him to let out a scoff as a scowl almost forms on his face. 

“That’s not the point and you know it. He’s-” Rafe started with the tone he used earlier before I pressed my hand to his mouth getting him to shut up. His eyebrows raised immediately as my hand touched his face.

“Gods, you’re such an absolute asshole Rafe. Do I need to remind you that your own father is from The Cut, he was able to escape that. Do I also need to remind you that I am from The Cut as well?” I raised an eyebrow before letting go of his mouth. Almost instantly I could see the immediate regret cross his facial features as he looked at me in remorse before shaking his head at me.

“You know that’s not what I meant and you live over here on Figure Eight now. You’re not like that at all.” he said in a soft regretful tone as he grabbed ahold of my hands. “You’re nothing like those Pogues.” he said softly as his thumbs stroke the back of my hands. My eyebrows furrow as my face turns more into a scowl. I pull myself away from him which causes him to feel panicked as he searches my face.

“Nothing like them? I was one when we met! But you didn’t seem to care because we were only five at the time. By the time we were ten is when I reached Kook status and moved to Figure Eight. Once a Pogue, always a Pogue. Remember that Rafe.” I spat out at him. His eyes widened as I raised my voice, a look of astonishment crossed his features as he processed my words. His lips parted slightly as tried to come up with something to say to me, looking off to the side as he shook his head before looking back at me. 

“Look, okay. I’m sorry (Y/N).” he says softly in a voice laced with sorrow as he looks back at my hardened glare.

“Save it Rafe. I don’t want to hear it.” I spoke sternly, “Just leave me alone.” I added softly as I looked away from him. His eyebrows shot up in shock.

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice laced in distress as he tried to mentally figure out what I meant. I shook my head at him before pushing past him to walk out of the locker room. 

“(Y/N)! (Y/N) wait!” He called out after me as I ignored him, moving out the doors angrily only to see Kelce standing right outside of them. I let out a scoff as Kelce and I made eye contact, shaking my head at him. His eyebrows furrowed as he took in my irritated expression.

“Wait, where are you going? What’s going on?” He asked confused right as Rafe walked out. I looked to Rafe then back to Kelce, ignoring the both of them as I made my way back to the patio of the country club. 

A commotion outside caused me to raise my eyebrows as I picked up my pace to see what was going on. 

“Hey mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, Kie. Pope, you as well, alright?” I hear JJ speak out as I finally made it out of the glass pane doors. Looking around to see what was going on as I hear Kiara’s parents along with Pope’s dad begging them not to leave. 

“You got room for one more?” I called out as I made eye contact with JJ, catching him by surprise as he nodded his head. His eyes widen slightly as he looks behind me. Before I’m able to turn I feel a hand grab onto my arm, the grip tight.

“I don’t think so.” Rafe’s voice spoke out harshly against my ear, the hot air of his breath angering me. I yank away from him as not looking back at him, not wanting to meet his icy glare.

“Watch me.” I spoke out in a mutter as I joined Kiara and Pope in their rush to leave.

“(Y/N)!” Rafe screamed at me, causing me to laugh, running faster after the Pogues. 

Once over to them I glanced back to find Rafe’s stare, a look of betrayal in his eyes. Kelce behind him looked completely shocked that I’m willingly leaving with the Pogues. I looked around for Topper, spotting him a few moments later. His features are unreadable. 

“So.. (Y/N)?” The sound of my name leaving someone’s lips caused me to turn to look at the group. All of their eyes mixed with confusion and untrust as well as astonishment. 

“Once a Pogue always a Pogue.” I say with a confident nod, causing them to look at each other before smiling and nodding. 

“Welcome aboard.” JJ slung his arm around my shoulder as we all began to make our way down to the boat on the beach.

Rafe’s eyes staring at the back of my head as I disappeared into the darkness. He angrily stormed back into the country club, ignoring Kelce as he rushed towards the locker room. Immediately punching the wall and letting out a bellowing scream. His head spinning with the thoughts of my betrayal as well as the thought of losing me forever. Losing the one person he loves forever.

Meanwhile I sat on the boat with the Pogues, looking down at my sky blue dress. The heavy weight of guilt and betrayal filling my chest by the thought of the person I love the most hurting so intensely.

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Part Three

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Taglist: @wearemadeofstardust0

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[shitsndgiggs]

Hi. Kenan and YN are in an arranged marriage. They don't love each other but are responsible and caring as partners. A drunken night of passion between Kenan and YN results in YN getting pregnant with his child. YN is scared to tell him because she thinks that he'll leave her but he finds her medical report later that week. He feels betrayed because she didn't trust him to tell him. Angst with a happy ending. Thank you.

FINDING US - KENAN YILDIZ

You find out that you’re pregnant and is to scared to tell Kenan

Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

From the outside, our marriage looked perfect—a picture of tradition and respect.

Kenan and I were married in a traditional ceremony arranged by our families. We barely knew each other, but we accepted our roles with grace and respect.

We settled into a routine, treating each other with kindness and care, but love was something we hadn’t found.

Our lives were like two parallel lines, close but never quite touching.

One night, Kenan threw a party to celebrate a successful win. The house was alive with laughter, music, and clinking glasses.

As the night wore on, the lines between us blurred under the influence of too much champagne.

We found ourselves alone, the air thick with unspoken desires. In a haze of intoxication and unanticipated attraction, we ended up in each other's arms, the distance between us melting away.

The next morning, Kenan was already gone when I woke up, leaving me to piece together the fragments of the night.

Weeks passed, and I began to feel different. A visit to the doctor confirmed my suspicions—I was pregnant.

Fear gripped me. How would Kenan react? Would he feel trapped? Angry? I couldn’t bring myself to tell him.

So, I kept the secret, hoping for the right moment that never seemed to come.

Every day, the weight of the secret grew heavier. I avoided Kenan, afraid he might sense the change.

But he was patient, kind even, in his quiet way. Our routine carried on, but there was a tension that neither of us acknowledged.

One evening, as Kenan was working late, I left my medical report on the kitchen counter, intending to hide it later.

But exhaustion overtook me, and I forgot. Kenan came home earlier than expected that night.

___

Kenan walked into the kitchen, intending to grab a quick snack before bed. His eyes fell on the papers on the counter.

Curiosity piqued, he picked them up and started reading. It didn’t take long for him to realize what they were.

The words "positive" and "pregnancy" jumped out at him, and a mixture of emotions washed over his face—confusion, hurt, and a deep sense of betrayal.

Why hadn’t she told him? Did she think so little of him? The questions swirled in his mind, and anger began to rise. He needed answers.

___

I was sitting in bed, reading a book, when Kenan stormed in, clutching the papers. "Y/N, what is this?" he demanded, holding up the medical report.

My heart sank. I had hoped to tell him in my own time, in my own way, but that chance was gone. I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice. "Kenan, I—"

"Why didn’t you tell me?" he interrupted, his voice shaking with anger and hurt. "Did you think I would just leave you? That I wouldn’t want to be a part of this?"

Tears welled up in my eyes. "I was scared, Kenan. Scared of how you would react. Scared that you would feel trapped."

He took a deep breath, trying to control his emotions. "You didn’t trust me enough to tell me something this important. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"I’m sorry," I whispered, tears streaming down my face. "I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t know how to tell you."

Kenan’s expression softened slightly, but the hurt was still evident. "We’re partners, Y/N. We might not have chosen this marriage, but we chose to make it work. You should have trusted me."

"I know," I said, my voice breaking. "I know, and I’m sorry. I was just so afraid."

He closed the distance between us, taking my hands in his. "We’re in this together. I won’t leave you, and I won’t leave our child. We’ll figure this out."

The days that followed were a mixture of awkwardness and tentative steps towards rebuilding our trust.

Kenan was more attentive, always asking how I was feeling and if I needed anything. He made a conscious effort to be more present, more involved.

One night, as we lay in bed, Kenan placed his hand on my growing belly. "I still can’t believe it," he said softly. "We’re going to be parents."

"Me neither," I replied, a small smile playing on my lips.

He looked into my eyes, his gaze filled with determination. "We’re going to make this work, Y/N. For us and for our child."

Tears of relief and happiness filled my eyes. "I believe you."

As the months passed, our relationship began to change. The baby became a bridge between us, a reason to try harder, to care more deeply.

Kenan’s anger and hurt gradually faded, replaced by a fierce protectiveness and love for the life growing inside me.

The night our baby was born, Kenan was by my side, holding my hand and whispering words of encouragement.

When our daughter finally arrived, he looked at her with such awe and tenderness that it took my breath away.

"She’s perfect," he whispered, tears in his eyes.

"Yes, she is," I agreed, my heart swelling with love for both of them.

[marzipanandminutiae]

god I need to stop reading the notes on that "you don't owe anybody your downtime post that goes downhill in the notes

I got a bit hyperbolic in the tags but I still feel like my point was valid: you cannot just shoot down good-faith attempts at compromise between conflicting mental illness with "sorry I don't have the energy to do that :) :) :)" and then keep telling the person on the other side that they need to work on their issues. it cannot be all give on one side and all take on the other

for clarity, the original post said "people can't always respond right away and that's okay!" (which I agree with!). but then someone in the notes was like "could you maybe tell me if you don't feel up to talking when I reach out to you?" and OP and a few other people were like "so, no, because if I had the energy to do that, I'd have the energy to conduct a conversation. sorry! anyway work more on your own stuff thanks!"

and this pissed me off because like. people with mental issues that can make us annoying/clingy/insecure about people's love or friendship? we never seem to get grace. we are ALWAYS the ones being told that we need to be better- which we definitely do! I'm not arguing that! -amidst all the posts telling you that you don't owe your friends anything ever and if someone ever gets annoyed or concerned by a lack of a response, that's on them. nobody EVER seems to get told "well, maybe work on being able to say 'hey, not feeling up to it; talk later!'"

and obviously there are degrees of this. getting worried and spam texting after two hours with no reply to a non-time-sensitive message is an issue; getting annoyed when someone ignores you for months is understandable. not texting someone back immediately is fine; not texting them back ever and then expecting them to still be there for you is not. but I feel like both extremes are issues to be worked on, and only one gets negative attention here on Tumblr

seriously you don't want to know where I started with all this. it was Bad. passive-aggressive, "manipulating people without realizing I was doing anything wrong" Bad. I have worked on it and continue to work on it. I used to tie myself in knots when I saw that little green dot and they didn't message back right away, or if they hadn't messaged first in a while. and subsequently take that out on my loved ones, intentionally or not. it wasn't fun for me, it certainly wasn't fun for them, and I've struggled to get out of that place and not go back there

but. I and people with similar abandonment/insecurity issues can't do it all. it's not meeting halfway when only one side is expected to move

and to see a post being like "well some people are just never going to listen to reason and I have to ~let myself accept that~ UwU" when all I said was "we can't be the only ones trying, and it's not fair that we're often expected to be" is just. hnnnng

I need to go aggressively cut plastic bits off gold braid trim

[yuriisclumsy]

𝖯𝗋𝗈𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗎𝖾, 𝙰𝚌𝚝 𝙸: Start Anew

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Authors note: Hope everyone's day is good. I have been working on the story for a while -- it takes time to write a chapter -- getting inspirations and tidying up the plot a bit. I really love were this is going! Side Note: If you want to ask more about the story, or want to clarify somethings, my ASK! is always opened! I think I will also be accepting request from this fandom as well. So, don't be shy. PS. This is the longest chapter so far.

It’s been a while since I arrived here; a place filled with unknowns and mysteries.

Not knowing where I was…frightening to say the least. Being far away from my home, into a land of magic. 

If I hadn’t tried pinching myself every time I encountered a creature right out of a fantasy anime, I would believe I was in a dream, crazy even.

When I awoke, I found myself inside a big hole with cecilia flowers blooming in the dark. It was deep in measure, as I couldn’t see the surrounding area. As confused as I was, I decided climbing was my best option to take.

A few hours went by as I tried getting out the ditch.

Out of all the places to spawn in another world, a hole isn’t on the list.

If not for the fortunate encounter of a blonde haired boy, I would have still been there as I speak. He rescued me, helping me reach the top of the pit. Afterwards, when I thanked him, he understood nothing. He spoke to me, and I understood nothing.

And so, my second problem since coming to this strange place began: language barrier.

With the limit of communication between the two of us, we attempted to introduce ourselves. The boy pointed at himself and said Sirius… It meant the brightest star in the night sky in Greek.

I followed suit and copied him, pointing at myself, and said my name. It’s nothing special so I won’t waste my time saying it–mother would have said otherwise giving me a frown in disapproval.

We smiled. We solved the problem of how we could get each other's attention. The happiness didn’t last long hearing rustling in the bushes. In defense, Sirius took out his sword. The sight of it made me freeze, though not much the sword, but the way it appeared out of thin air.

My mind twisted, frustratedly trying to grasp logic to reason the sudden appearance of the sword. There’s just no way a sword can just materialize out of nothing. Was I going insane? I would've believed myself to be if not for the thing that came out the bushes belonging to imagination.

I think I passed out after seeing it because when I woke up again I saw Sirius' worried face. What I saw was a smile. A cute, yet very dangerous, slime. If this place could give me more to think about how stupid this all was, it would be the weird fashion of these clothes.

At that point I noticed that I wasn't wearing my school uniform. I wore a cloak. It’s not all I had–I think anyone would notice if they were buck naked, but that is the only noteworthy item I wore; the rest is plain and simple, except for the hair piece on the left side of my hair; It’s a crystal, surrounded by gold with engravings on it.

My thoughts at the moment reflected my confusion. Perhaps, I had miraculously found myself on the other side of the globe! …but that’s just hopeful thinking. I knew monsters weren’t meant to be real, nor these gravity-defiant clothes we wore existed.

Reality Dawned on me a few days later being graced with the same routine: Waking up thinking it was all a dream, greeting Sirius, eating, moving on in the plains to who-knows-where, encountering monsters, repeat.

That’s how it was, up until we fished out our third party member.

She is…something. At first, I worried the poor thing had drowned in the pond, but after making sure she was alright I discovered she could float. That killed my sense of urgency. 

How could a fairy, who literally floats, drown?

The fairy, who later gave us her name–Paimon, teached Sirius the language of this planet. Apparently, I was speaking a different language than the one I’m using right now. Sirius pointed it out after he learned to formulate sentences, albeit broken, but understandable nonetheless. 

Two months passed since then. 

We were sitting on a beach enjoying its offerings. Sirius and Paimon–the fairy we helped–were closer to the shore drawing images in the sand. I relaxed under the protection of a palm’s shade, not wanting to get a heat stroke from the scorching sun.

But this peacefulness did not last long.

A loud sound played, akin to that of a classic German symphony, short but loud enough to make my eardrums ring. It made me dizzy when I heard it. 

Some sort of vision, screen-like, projection, showed up in front of me when I heard the sound.

“So…what you're trying to say is that you fell here…from another world?” I heard Paimon speak.

Two shining stars, traveling from an unknown place onwards to the sky itself.

“But when you wanted to leave and go on to the next world, your path was blocked by some unknown god?”

A space between the clouds and stars was shown to me; there was Sirius, and someone that looked exactly like him in the opposite gender.

Then I saw her.

The god that Paimon mentioned; she was tall; her clothing were fit for the divinity she is; with her beauty, she’d be capable of killing the careers of hundreds of models if she were to join the modeling business.

“Outlanders, your journey ends here!” I shivered. Her voice was colder than any ice-cream that could give me a brain freeze on a winter’s day.

“Who are you?!” Sirius’ look-alike questioned.

“The sustainer of heavenly principles. The arrogation of mankind ends now,” the god summoned a red cube expanding its domain in the ground. It almost captured the outsiders, almost.

Jumping away from her attack, they each manifested a pair of glorious crystalized wings and swords; the sun shone through its glass making the wings seem like they were glowing; their swords–matching in style–live for the protection of their masters, and ready for battle; launching forward, they meet tentacles made of the same cube which tried to take them down. Every slash made by their opponent was evaded by them. They looked like butterflies dancing a duet; so serine and gorgeous.

But just like a game of chess, the enemy’s turn is finished, it is their turn to make a move. Readying their attack with all the power they can muster; they do a combined strike. Unfortunately for them, the god shielded their attack, rendering them hopeless to her.

The Queen eats a pawn.

With only a glare at the boy made him recoil. But to his dismay, his counterpart wasn't so fast. She was swallowed by the god’s swarm of red-and-black cube.

In a desperate attempt to free her, Sirius charged an attack with some power that is unknown to me. As fast as lighting, he was behind the god. The force of the power collided with the god making a big explosion.

Pawn moves.

Smoke was everywhere; Sirius catches his breath thinking the god was defeated.

His eyes widened, the fumes of the aftermath scurried off to reveal the god intact. Not even her clothes were affected. Intinctly, Sirius backed up, but found himself unable to move: the god had trapped him as well.

Queen moved, blocking the pawn from advancing. The game paused momentarily.

“Wait, don’t go!” His eyes looked desperately at the god, “give my sister back!”

In that instant, I could feel his emotions radiating through his voice. They barreled onto each other, it made me want to crawl into a ball and cry; anger, worry, sadness…the worst one of them was the feeling of separation–loss.

The scene continued, ignorant of my feelings.

“And just like that, the god took away my sister.”

I discovered Sirius had a sister; a twin intertwined in the stars.

“Some kind of seal was cast upon me, and I lost my power. So while we used to travel from world to world, we are now trapped here.”

“How many years ago was it? I don’t know… But I intend to find out,” the scene changed back to the sunny beach and the call of the ocean.

“I was completely alone from the time I woke — Right until I met you and [Name] two months ago.”

“Yeah, Paimon owes you guys for that. Otherwise Paimon likely would have drowned… So, Paimon would do her best to be a great guide for you two!” She vowed to be our travel guide across this unknown world.

Sirius looked out into the horizon with hopeful eyes for the future.

“We should head off.”

When the scene ended, Paimon and Sirius came to me to continue our journey.

“[Name] stop relaxing, and let’s go!” Paimon took me by the hand and lifted me up, dragging me to wherever we were going.

 I didn’t share what happened, or what I saw. It's a secret for now.

Currently, we are on our way to our next destination: Mondstadt City.

The city belongs to the nation of Mondstadt–funnily having the same name. According to Paimon, it is the closest civilization from our location. Before going further we stop atop a hill looking out into the plains and what awaits us in the future.

And that is where we found ourselves. Standing idly at the edge of a mountain looking out into the wilderness….

Wait…. Did—did I just have an internal dialogue? I stopped enjoying the view questioning my sanity, before being rudely interrupted by a certain gluttonous-fairy.

“Woaww! This is certainly something Paimon could get used to waking up to see each morning!” She said happily. “What do you think, Sirius?”

Oh, so we’re just going to ignore me, are we?

“I also like the view…” I glanced at her. She looked at me with a sorry-d face.

“We like it, Paimon. Thank you for ask,” Sirius responded calmly.

“See, Paimon? It wasn’t so difficult to include me.”

“Oh look!” she pointed at a lake in the middle of the valley, trying to divert the conversation. “That’s a Statue of The Seven!”

I was unimpressed, but Sirius followed her enthusiasm.

“What is it?” He asked, looking at what looked like a pillar in the middle of a pond.

“They are statues showing The Seven’s protection over the world,” she said proudly, “you can find them scattered all over the place. Among the seven gods, this one belongs to the god who controls the wind.”

“And that is important to know, because…?” I found the information useless. The gods in my world are practically non-existent, or hard to contact unless you're a devoted follower they’ve shown favoritism to. The gods in this world are no different.

“Because! It can help Sirius find information on his sister and clear up if that’s the god he’s looking for, and help you remember who you are!”

I nearly forgot. I made an excuse of losing my memories when Sirius became suspicious for knowing the language but not the places a while back. I need to keep that in mind. 

Darn you Sirius and your keen senses.

“...you’re right.”

“Of course Paimon is right!” So presumptuous she is. I’ll play along for now.

“Oh, what would come of me if not for the number-one-in-the-whole-world’s travel guide not being here with me?” I sounded overdramatic, yes, but she bought it and became even prouder.

“You would be a lost little Seelie, that’s for sure!”

Sirius giggled at our shenanigans. “Okay, Paimon is best travel guide. But, we need go. Will be late when arrive in city.”

“Oh no! We can’t have that. If we’re late, all the restaurants will be closed, and Paimon won’t be able to eat!” She was more worried about her empty stomach than monsters attacking us.

“*sight…* I guess the only thing inside that head of hers is food," I commented.

“Haha. Don’t let Paimon hear, she will eat you at night,” Sirius said with a jokingly-creepy voice.

“Ha-ha-ha… Getting eaten by a flying child is not on my experience list,” I said with sarcasm. “Anyway, we should follow her. We don’t want her drowning in another pond…”

The only response I got was him giggling. We ran after Paimon. She is not to be left alone for a second, lest you want your rations to go poof.

But nothing would have prepared us for what we would see in the sky that day.

“Are you confident we’ll be able to meet this god?” I said.

We managed to catch up to Paimon before she ran into any trouble. Now, we were closer to the statue we saw on the hill. 

“Paimon’s not sure… Paimon has never meet any of The Seven in person, so Paimon doesn't know if they’ll answer. But, it's worth a try!”

“Better than nothing,” Sirius looked at me for confirmation.

“It’s progress,” saying that earned me a smile from him.

I looked away from him admiring the species of animal I’ve never seen before. Even the fruits were different. Reminds me that I need to try all the food I can. When in a new world, try all you can, especially food.

I’m thinking like Paimon now…

Approaching the statue, I stopped and looked at it from a distance. My mouth was left agape at the stone’s craftsmanship; from far it looked rather plain, but on closer inspection it was as complex as understanding chess; it was large, having angel wings in the back; the silhouette was that of a person, with braids and a good figure.

Was this the god of wind?

Paimon went in front of us before I could marvel at it any longer. I’ll have time to gaze at it later.

“As we all know, poetry and language flow like the wind…” she began.

“Wowww, Paimon. Didn’t realize we had a poet in our group,” I clapped.

“Oh, for goodness sake! Leave Paimon alone!” her tiny legs stumped the air, showing our companions annoyance.

I raise my hands to shield myself from her wrath. “Fine, fine. I'll leave you alone for now.”

“What do you mean ‘for now’?!”

Before Paimon’s anger flowed out, Sirius decided it was the best time to take a dip in the pond, splashing Paimon and I.

“Ah!” Paimon tried to take cover. But a little too late, she was as wet as I was.

“Was that really necessary?” I asked, looking at myself.

He smiled at us. “You two stopped,” He swam to the minuscule island in the pond where the statue was.

Paimon shook like a wet puppy, splashing even more water on me.

“OI.” I was ignored.

She flew right above the pond joining Sirius, leaving me behind. Thanks Paimon.

Do I really have to go there? I’m already wet, so I might as well.

I took my shoe and socks off, I didn’t want them smelling bad later after they dried. My right foot was the first to make contact with the water. Nope. It was iced cold. Not going. No, with a little spice of Nuh-huh. Sirius could get all the attention from the statue all he wanted because, I. Ain't. Going.

“[Name]! You coming?” Sirius got my attention.

“No, I’m good! I’ll just…look around the area!” I told him, quickly putting my socks and shoes on.

“Okay, don’t go far!” He told me before focusing on Paimon and the statue.

Now. what to do, what to do?

I walked around the pond finding nothing of my interest. Then, a sound came into earshot. It was the same one I heard when the vision appeared back on the beach! Was I going to get another one?

I see as Sirius touches the statue, and a ball of…air? Leaps into his body. The star in his chest and his wrist that were previously black, are now filled and glowing with teal.

My perspective comes back to the spot I was formerly.

What was the thing that went into Sirius’s body? I wondered.

Suddenly, a zephyr flowed in my direction. It was playful, messing with my hair. Then it became strong and lifted my cloak. I was amazed at first, right before the little demon made it fall, slamming it against my face. I yelped in surprise. I could hear soft giggles in the breeze.

The wind was mocking me.

I won’t forget this, you little…

“[Name]! There you are!” Paimon shouted as she got closer to me.

“You don’t have to yell for me to hear Paimon, I’m not deaf,” I winced.

“Oops, sorry.”

“It’s fine. So, did you two discover something interesting?” I asked, pretending I didn’t just see an orb go into Sirius’s body.

They both nodded with big smiles.

“Yup! Sirius resonated with the statue, and is now able to control the power of Anemo!”

“Excuse me?” I said dumbfounded.

“Uhmm, Sirius resonated with the statue?” Paimon tilted her head in confusion.

“No yeah, I heard that part. What do you mean he can use the power of Anemo?”

Sirius put his hand out and concentrated. Then a small ball of air was formed.

I was gone for two seconds, and Sirius is already getting powers??? How is that fair? I want powers too!

To say I was mad would be an understatement. I was furious.

Couldn't it have been me instead? All those times where I dreamed of having cool magic and powers have been shattered. They’re so close, yet so far away. Darn you Sirius!

“Now I’m the only one without powers… Great.”

“In his defense, he didn’t know he would get them,” Paimon defended. “Maybe the gods didn’t give you any powers because you are mean, [Name],” Was she trying to provoke me? She is reminding me of someone annoying I know.

I gave her a nasty glare before letting it go. “Now, can you please show us the way to Mondstadt city. I’m getting hungry and tired of this day.”

“Oh, Paimon is too! Paimon can’t wait to taste the sweet delicacies of the nation of freedom…” her mouth watered at the thought of her stomach being full, “Let’s move then!”

Paimon took the lead down a path to a forest. If there was a way to avoid forests I would tell Paimon to make a detour, but it seems this is the only way to the city, so I stayed shut. 

From what I saw on the hill, the city is built on an island in the middle of a gigantic lake. It’s a good idea. It keeps enemies and monsters at bay. With only one entrance to the city, regulating who comes in and who goes out is as easy as pie!

Guess I was daydreaming about the city for a while, because before I knew it, we were approaching the forest. I could see a few signs from here.

 I always get fascinated by old methods of engineering cities.

“Wow! What is that!?” I heard Paimon ask, “There’s something huge, in the sky!”

“Woww…” Sirius let out in amazement. 

I turned to see what all the commotion was. Honestly, what was so amazing that both Paimon and Sirius were amazed.

“Huh?”

My eyes couldn’t believe what they were seeing.

It was a dragon….

 A damn dragon.

“HUHHHHH???????????”

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜: @udretlnea, @taurus-caeli, @humongousoperatorhairdoopera. Re-blog or Comment if you want to get added into the Tag section for The Divine City: Story. Back to The Divine City: Story Master-List.

Go to Arcs, a related series.

ᘻɑ𝘚Ե୧Ⲅ⧿ℓἱ𝘚Ե

Authors note: Found any mistakes? Leave it down on the comments and I'll change it! If you have not been tag, please leave another comment about it, I can forget from time to time!

[catgirlbussy]

im gonna do a lil sadpost, as a treat. if u dun wanna read that or interact or anything there's no harm done <3 it kinda feels nice sayin stuff into the void tbh, cause i know as i look out ill always see myself at minimum, and im still thankful. im alive. if someone can relate or whatever then thats a neat bonus ★

I'm not super sure how to formulate these thoughts, cause lots of it is just incompressible /feeling/. I've been on HRT for close to two years now, and modifying my internal physical landscape alongside the work I put in with the ways I've learned sharing benefit so far, like therapy and self-directed exploration of my emotions and the simple but vital practice of being more open with others about how I'm feeling, has uncovered a lot.

It's been overwhelmingly positive in so many ways. I don't have any regrets for starting this set of changes, even with full knowledge of the difficulties I've had rise as a result and that more are on the horizon, and also full awareness in that I will need to continue putting in the *good* work to care for myself and learn how to navigate the parts in my mind I'd kept hidden or obscured for so long. It's not /bad/, I feel so grateful to have this opportunity at all and I feel bounteous joys in this trove of beautiful experiences that, up 'till not too long ago, I never thought I'd be able to experience -- though I absolutely still dreamed of having them so vividly.

I have a lot of good graces in my life re: my transition. In a lot of ways I feel I've been exceedingly lucky. Canada has its fair share of problems without a doubt, but I also know full well there are a lot more places on our planet where it's much more difficult to be openly trans, let alone dangerous or lethal. I don't take that as an opportunity to rest, either, because having cracks forming in the firmament, letting in light to my dream of a world where trans experiences are accepted (and to note most thoroughly, I'm learning more of a lot of cultures in days gone by, /including some aspects of my own heritage/, having extended gender representations ingrained in their societal norms, some as far even to revere the dynamic and unique experience of existing beyond the gender binary in whatever way they saw as such) for **everyone** spurs in me an even deeper and impassioned drive to work in the ways I'm able to foster communication and connection while rebuking hostility so more and more beautiful, valid trans folks can experience respite and respect and safety as well.

I'm not wanting necessarily to change minds and upend the posture of society with this particular post, though, and so I hope you'll forgive me in my expressing my small, localised set of emotions in this moment. At the root of everything I experience I'm starting to get better at reminding myself that I'm a valid *individual person* in addition to being a contributor in the push for good and kindness for all.

It's probably telling that I feel the need to offer ~4 paragraphs as a disclaimer that I spend time learning about the global scale and am effortful in enacting progress there before just getting on with what I'm even feeling sad about. I don't see myself as a holy martyr for being nervous about expressing myself, but it seems more and more common evidently rather than by my hypothesis alone that many trans individuals would get by prior to exploring their gendered identity with burgeoning self-acceptance with a marked self-exclusionary behaviour when it came to opening themselves to emotional experience, regardless of any given instance being gendered or not. Until it becomes unmanageable, it feels easier to lock away senses of joy, sadness, etc. cause you can keep gettin on by in a sort of functional state and you tell yourself thats enough.

This is far from the worst thing I've come across so far, but I am feeling confused and the confusion is unique in its own way to the extent that I'm not even able to pin down how I /feel/ about feeling it. At its heart I can't seem to muster the right formulation of words to explain to others these particular experiences I'm having in my transition. Painting in broad strokes can be such disservice to the nuance for any individual's cluster of experiences, but tumblr if anything *for me* has brought much happiness in finding threads of commonality with others. Stark contrasts to my feelings of loneliness and seclusion from the world around me give me so much hope. I'm writing this partly in hopes that there is another one of those threads people might appreciate seeing. I do more than my fair share of journaling, but this one feels special and worth sharing right now, and so decadently I write these words for a community beyond myself.

To be blunted, perhaps I might phrase it by saying 'i feel sad about being happy.' It's that sort of absurdist perspective that helps me wrap my head around it a little better with how little sense it makes to my normal machinations. I'm not sad that I am having these new and thrilling experiences of adding or or changing parts of myself to live in the way I best see fit for who I am, but I feel sad because I don't know how to.

I get locked up at the slightest things. Someone compliments my nails, and its so hard to communicate efficiently the impossibly depthed importance this literally surficial act has for me. They aren't even painted well, but I painted them /myself/, I felt catharsis in exploring my love of artistic expression in the choice of colours, I rode high on the thrill of watching this new skill form in my own hands. The coat is uneven and I can't quite keep myself from getting knicks in places as they dry yet and I'm still practicing the nail care associated with maintaining healthy and resilient nails, but if I can be so bold to say, god forbid women do anything.

This person obviously wasn't chastising me for partaking in a traditionally "femininely-associated act", let alone that so thoroughly most things people take for gendered in no way innately are, the whole binary supposition is a damned myth. But because of how I was brought up and the mindset I was taught to have before I fought to think for myself instead, this was a joy I'd always admired but felt I was abhorrent for wanting to partake in. Absolutely anyone who feels otherwise can irrevocably go fuck themselves if they aren't willing to examine the falsity of the foundational thoughts they 'think' they have leading them to ever want someone to abstain from such a viscerally unobstructive and innocuous form of self exploration and creativity bexause it's "for girls". This goes for anything. For anyone. Idc who you are or what label you wanna use at any given moment, go explore. Live life. God fuck do we need people to just experience joy in some ways so we aren't so incorrigible and hostile towards eachother.

But you don't stop whoever took 15 seconds out of their say to mention to you they like the colour and wanted you to know to discurse at length upon the structural bastardisation of who people are allowed to be, cause more than any of that I just want to feel happy about it.

I literally stutter out whatever form of thanks my malformed emotionally-communicative faculties can muster in this surprise and try not to start sobbing in the grocery store aisle or whatever. It's so /good/, and it's so frustrating that I don't even know how to just process and appreciate that it is.

I was so much an absentee in my own bodied self that I could not fathom an understanding of what gender euphoria was until it snuck up smashed me in the teeth. I didn't have any basis of understanding for what it was really like to be happy about some part of myself.

Despite my loneliness I have still had the experiences of friendships, people caring about me, and relationships where a partner genuinely appreciated parts of me, physical, mental, emotional, whatever. More now than ever I am having those experiences as I learn to come out of my cloister inside my head. But this time I'm not just numb to everything. Sure, as I'm learning to not just be unilaterally numb until my bastion of self-isolation fails and I break there is abundance of pain, but the pain I honestly prefer. It's more vivid than it's ever been before, but I can benchmark that I'm still alive by its contrast to neutrality. It's familiar, and my mechanisms of clutching my emotions into my soul can still carry me forward as I try to figure things out. But fuck me is it ever hard to have a happy experience and not know how to communicate that it tore my sense of stability in those moments to shreds. To lose the composure that carried me for so many years because someone sought to share something with me they thought I'd appreciate because they care about me feels so counterproductive to just enjoying the absolute gift that experience is.

Abstractly, as I'm wont to do to a remarkably self-apparent fault, I can tell myself that these things take time. Human emotion is so complex, and its panoply of shifting lights glinting as the facets move their positioning relative to the light of being alive is what drives me to do art, and it always has been, contradictory so fully to my desire to lock everything away. I can't circumnavigate multiple decades of trauma and be free and unfettered in my senses in an instant just because I'm aware it's possible. And so I try so fucking hard not to just sit down and cry in that grocery store aisle, cause it hurts so bad to be happy.

How dare I find glints of good in the polluted landscape we live in. But that mindset helps nothing. People striving to live amidst turmoil is what makes life worth living. There will always be strife, but there will always be the possibility for hope alongside it.

Without fail, each night I'll self-soothe myself into a mode of somewhat-restfulness imagining what it would be like to trust myself enough to be imperfect and let someone hold me. It's the only thing I do anymore. It even backfires sometimes and I just waking-dream my way through countless blissful scenarios about what it would be like if that cute girl I've been starting to become friends with mentioned she wanted to hold my hand for hours until the sun comes up and I know I won't have any sleep at all. It's so goddamn worth it. I revel in it, because at least in the theatre of my mind I can find small ways of letting myself feel those joys. They aren't really happening. It's my own hand rubbing a thumb gently along my collarbone in a faux affection. But it's the only way I've found that's not so obstructively blinding in intensity for me to practice what it would be like to be close to others.

I still lose my sense of self so often. I find bruises from where I bumped into things and wholesale didn't notice until the tiredness sets in and I can't autonomously ignore how sore I am. I dive effortlessly into the placid waters of dissociation when someone gives me a hug, despite that being what I have dreamed of for so many years during my self-imposed isolation. Someone tells me they like an art piece I've made and I stopper any sense of pride or appreciation for their kind words despite pouring however much time channeling my slowly uncoiling understanding of reality into every particle of it and wishing that my experiences could convey any amount of any feeling whatsoever to another living being with the entirely selfish act of wanting that I feel like I had a real connection.

I can't get by with chainsmoking and shelf-set pain medications and blind ignorance any more. I can't ignore how badly I want to feel. I am figuring it out instant by instant and it scares me horribly. One day my yearnings for closeness will be actualised because I'll be ready to open when they come. My selfsense-extracted mutterings of the hypothetical joys of being pressed down into sheets and kissed because someone deigned to gift me with attention for they hold appreciation of this newly forming, ill-configured, but ultimately revelatory feminine self I'm becoming will no longer be fiction and prose but the rawness of experience that I, once, and then more, can lose myself into without terror thay I'm inadequate and never truly worth it. Someone will touch my breasts and love me for loving them myself and I'll give in to the annihilating instant where I am no longer a sense of self but just am. This body is not me but my, and I will scrape and fight however I can muster to live vicariously thru it because that is what I am meant to do by being here alive at all. If anything ever again I want to feel what love is like.

I'm not even reading this back to see if it conveys properly let alone makes sense at all. I'm exhausted and in so much pain. If you read this, thanks, and, if you can, go hug someone you love today.

[shelbgrey]

Love Story(Jackson Avery X reader)

Paring: Jackson x Sloan!Reader

Summary: Jackson's mother is paying him and Seattle grace a visit. Y/n also has to meet her boyfriend's mother dispite her fears of Catherine's disapproval.

Warrings: none. Catherine talks trash a bit but that's all

Greys MasterList

You really don't know what someone else is going through till you walk in their shoes. Y/n was a simple person. She didn’t really care to become a top tear or known person in the surgical world, she just wanted to help people. That's what made her different from the other residents and her friends. She was also different from her older brother Mark. While he worked hard to make himself big in the plastics world she planted her roots in the OBGYN world. She liked helping babies. They were pure and innocent in her eyes, she also wanted to help mothers. It was a coping mechanism for her because she didn't have a mom to call her own…like ever, Mark raised her and so did Derek’s mother.

(1st pov)

Me and Jackson were both still young in both the medical and mentally when we both met. We were also expected to be sworn enemies the moment his hospital merged with mine. When he first joined my friends looked down upon him and his friends. To Mer and the others the Mercy westerns were invaders in orange scrubs. They weren't to me….well Charels Percy and the Reed girl maybe.

The day Jackson got paired up with me was quite impressed. Not with his looks or the fact he was an Avery but because of his skill set. I also felt bad about the presser that was clearly on his shoulders. He stood there carrying the Avery name expecting the best. I grew a soft spot and I started showing the respect he deserved.

Since this is our story I might add the first thing I noticed about him was his eyes. He had beautiful eyes. And his smile…when he smiled i couldn't help but smile too, he had that effect on me and everyone else seemed to notice the effect we had on each other…everyone except us at the time. At the time not too many people didn’t want to believe it and even tried to sabotage it at times.

Mark and Derek were the first to accept it, them being my brother and best friend why wouldn't they. The two were also the first to see me have my little freak out about a certain woman coming to visit the hospital. The night Jackson told me his mother was coming to the hospital I didn't sleep the rest of the night, I just couldn't. I thought about the disappointment on her face when she was the type of girl Jackson chose to be with. I was smart and pretty, yes, but I didn't come from a wealthy family like Jackson did and I didn't have a last name everyone knew. I also wasn’t obsessed with winning a Harper Avrey award like most doctors my age. I kept asking myself ‘what if she hates me?’ I didn't dare ask Jackson that because I knew he’d just tell me what I wanted to hear despite his fear of his overbearing mothers arrival.

The day of Catherine Fox’s arrival I was quieter than usual. Jackson noticed first as I got ready. He even questioned why I was doing my hair and make-up differently. My hair was usually in a pony-tail but today it was down and slightly curled. When we got to the hospital Jackson kissed me good-bey once the elevator opened and we parted ways.

As the day went on I successfully avoided her. But I also hadn’t seen Jackson all day, which probably meant Catherine found him and is dragging him around despite his pleas of being left alone. I was quietly doing charts at a nurses station when Mark came up to me with a confused face.

“What did you do to your hair?” he asked. I sighed and started nibbling on my pencil, a nervous habit I had since the 2nd grade.

“Jackson’s mother is here” Mark rolled his eyes.

“So I've seen, she was quick to say Jackson was wasting his time in plastics” Mark sighed. I knew Catherine’s snide commits about the Plastics industry might have gotten to him a bit. Some people miss the fact that my brother does more than just face lifts and boob jobs.

“I haven’t run into her yet…” I said carefully not wanting to jinx myself. It's not that i didn;t want to met my boyfriends mother, I just kept imaging the worst when she meets me.

🔺🔹🔻🔹🔺🔹🔻🔹🔺

“You want to scrub in on a surgery? Mark said you needed something to do” Derek said coming up to me and handed me a chart with a smile. Derek and I are thick as thieves. Don't tell Mark but me and him have always been a bit closer.

The patient would be needing a OBGYN on stand by(meaning me) and a neurosurgeon both. The mother had been in a car crash and had suffered a brain bleed while being 7 months pregnant.

“Sure I’m not busy” Derek smiled and we both headed towards OR3. We scrubbed in and I tied my Ravenclaw scrub cap on while Derek grabbed his furry boat one.

Not long into the surgery the women I've been trying to avoid joined our little surgery with Bailey. Me and Derek shared a quick glance as Cathrine put on a pair of gloves. “I heard about this poor girl and I had to see if you needed a hand.”

Derek being the head surgeon of this surgery he looked up then nodded. “Sure, why not”

Cathrine nodded and put a mask on. She unknowingly chose her spot next to me. I froze up slightly as I watched the fetal monitor for the unborn baby.

(3rd pov)

Since filled the OR except for Derek’s occasionally mumbling and the beeping of the heart monitor. Breaking the silence Bailey looked among the other doctors and spoke. “Does anyone know about her husband?”

y/n looked up from the fetal monitor and spoke. “We're trying to contacted him now, we haven't had an answer for over an hour”

The doctors later found out the woman was divorced and the father of the unborn child couldn't care less. With Derek being the family man he was, it didn't set right. y/n looked at the sonogram of the baby sadly knowing what it's like not to have a dad around.

Bailey sighed. “I couldn't imagine being left by the one person i thought loved me”

Catherine was next to chime in. “it's a shame but sadly not all relationships last forever” she glanced around again and continued. “Are you married, Dr. Shepherd?”

Derek glanced up. “Yes I am” he smiled through his mask at the thought of Meredith.

Somehow the conversation shifted back to Catherine and she brought up Jackson and his girl. She was unknown to the mother and had no idea y/n was standing next to her. All she was to Catherine was a resident surgeon in a ravenclaw scrub cap.

“I'm not saying love is a waste of time but I have yet to meet this girl my son seems to be so infatuated with…” Catherine said, making Derek and Bailey both look at y/n.

“Dr. Sloan is a good surgeon…Avery and her make a good coupe” Bokie smiled through her mask as she handed Derek another tool. y/n smiled softly at the older women but not ready to introduce herself to her possible future mother-in-law.

Catherine raised her eyebrows, surprised at the last name the girl shared with another certain plastic surgeon. “Oh she's a sloan” she didn’t mean to sound the way she did, we’ll give the benefit of a doubt but she sounds annoyed and possibly disappointed.

“Can only imagine what she’s like,” Catherine continued. Derek and Bailey shared glances as y/n kept silent. While Catherine believed Jackson had more potential than just plastics her mind geared towards the thoughts and feeling that y/n was a distraction for Jackson and someone who convinced him to go into plastics. The last one may be true but she only supported jackson on what HE wanted to do.

Derek knew y/n wouldn’t speak up and he wasn't gonna stand by while a woman who he did respect tarnished his best friend's names. “y/n is en excellent surgeon and trust me your son and her are meant to be”

Catherine scoffed at that. “All due respect dr. shepherd i think jackson is a bit too naive and i believe that she maybe a distraction”

Distraction…is that all she saw her as? y/n thought for a moment and all the old insecurities came flooding back into her mind. y/n looked back at the fetal monitor gulping nervously. She started tapping her foot as the anxiety started to get to her.

“love blinds us” she said like she was speaking from experience.

Derek sighed in frustration and y/n quickly shook her head to shut him up. He took a glance at their patient then back at y/n. “How’s the baby doing doc?” he repreced from saying her name but it was safe to say he was talking to her.

She looked up and adjusted her ravenclaw scrub cap. “B-baby’s heart is getting stronger by the minute.” she stuttered.

As they continued Jackson walked into the gallery to see what his girl was doing. He smiled happily at her as she continued to watch the baby’s heartbeat. I didn’t seem like much but he was always proud and would point out the talented OBGYN he got to call his girlfriend. Him being up there was unknown to both her and his mother. What was unknown to him was the comments his mother was throwing to the girl she didn’t even know was there.

Jackson then frowned when he saw his mother down there too. She had pestered him most of the morning and he feared she was doing the same to y/n before he could even introduce her to Catherin.

Derek just shook his head as he listened to Cathrine harmless but also off hand commits about Jackson and the relationship that probably won't last. Her words not anyone else's.

After the successful surgery was over y/n delivered the baby and took the little girl to the nursery while Derek and bailey closed up. y/n smiled softly as she cleaned and dressed the new life and put her in the nursery with the rest of the babies. After she was one she watched the baby through the nursery window for precaution.

“Hey baby” Jackson whispered and wrapped his arms around her from behind. She sighed and rested the back of her head on his shoulder while rubbing the muscular arms that were around her.

“How’s the baby?” he asked, looking over her shoulder through the window. y/n smiled and pointed out the baby. “Pretty strong for a 7th month old…she’s right there” she chuckled.

Jackson smiled and kissed the side of her head. “Did my mother play nice?” he asked. Her mood quickly changed and it didn’t go unnoticed by Jackson. Jackon sighed and turned her around to face him.

“What did she say?” he asked, placing his hands on her shoulders. She didn’t meet his eyes and looked everywhere except for him. “N/n?”

“She didn’t even know i was in there…but i guess she already a had a pretty good idea of who i was” she knew if she told him anything more he’d only get more pissed and the last thing she wanted to do was break Jackson’s relationship with his mother.

Jackson took a deep breath and looked down. “I'm sorry-” y/n started but Jackson cut her off with a soft kiss. He held her face in his hands and kissed the part of her forehead that was still coerced by her scrub cap.

“I don't care what my mother thinks, I love you and that's what matters” he spoke softly.

From afar Cathrine was walking alone till she stopped suddenly at the sight of her son with a girl. Not just any girl, it was the girl with the ravenclaw scrub cap that was with her in surgery. She quickly hid behind the corner and peaked behind it just as Jackson gave her a kiss goodbye.

She sighed realizing the things she said in front of her. She watched her son leave and y/n started to walk towards her direction and that's when Catherine hid around the corner letting y/n pass. As y/n stood at the nurses station filling out a chart for the baby girl Cathrine approached her.

“Hello y/n” she said softly. y/n gulped and awkwardly smiled.

“Oh hey Dr. Avery, how are you?” Catherine shook her head with apologetic look.

“Dear call me Cathrine and I want to apologize for my actions” she put her hand on y/n’s shoulder and smiled. “Why don't we start over hm? Clean slate”

y/n nodded and smiled. “Sure, i’d love that”

Catherine nodded. “If it's alright with you i’d like to take you and Jackson out to dinner tonight…I'd like to get to know you better” y/n nodded with a smile still slightly afraid of her disapproval. She nodded and told her she’d pass the message to Jackson.

🔺🔹🔻🔹🔺🔹🔻🔹🔺

Later that night y/n stood outside under the entrance arch sheltering herself from the rain. The sound calmed her as she leaned against the was waiting for jackson.

“Hey beautiful” Jackson smiled and leaned against the wall next to her watching the rain fall. y/n smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

“You nervous?” he asked, referring to the dinner they were supposed to attend with his mother.

“Kinda, are you?” she asked. Jackson gave her a serious expression. “I'm not, no matter what she think won't change anything between us”

She smiled lovingly at him then looked back at the rain until Jackson tugged her arm pulling her towards the rain. She giggled. “What are you doing?”

He pulled her into the partly empty parking lot and twirled her around in the rain. “We're dancing it out, come on” he laughed. She laughed and danced along with him as the rain fell around them.

She danced with him a little longer till she bumped into his chest, shivering. Jackson chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “Okay, come on, you're shivering” he pulled her into his car and turned up the heat. Silence fell until they looked at each other. Both in their Navy scrubs soaking wet. They burst out laughing savoring the moment.

“Well let's go get some dinner” he said, letting his laughter die down. y/n’s eyes widened.

“Jacks, I can't meet your mother like this! I smell like rain and hospital” y/n slightly laughed.

Jackson kept one hand on the wheel and sniffed the inside of his elbow. He looked at his girlfriend and shrugged. “I do too”

y/n sighed and rolled her eyes with a smile. “Trying to prove a point or something? I want to at least look decent”

Jackson shrugged and placed her hand on her knee. “Well, we're doctors, she'll understand,” he said simply. He simply didn’t care about their appearance at this point. Yes he does want his mother to like y/n but then angina he doesn't need her approved. Hell love y/n no matter what anyone else says. But he also wanted his mother to see exactly who she is. The kind and laidback girl he fell in love with and them going to dinner in the condition they were in showed that.

[drdemonprince]

if you ever have the time and space to answer this i'd be very thankful

how can i take any let downs by friends less personal and continue giving people chances/inviting them in and being vulnerable without hurting myself/gettung hurt in the process? i'm guessing the answer is to find a balance, but are there ways to go about it easier? no matter how much i try to communicate and and manage expectations... i appreciate my friends greatly, but still i often feel let down when they cant come to things that are important to me though i understand that things can happen and theres usually reasons for not being able to make something and i am not their priority number one in a system that exhausts all of us- it just keeps happening and i don't want to grow bitter and alone but cherish the people in my life and trust they are trying their best

I think you can start by practicing being more flaky and unreliable and more reliant up on your friends' grace as well! When we feel resentful, it is often a sign that we are doing far too much, and not having our needs cared for. I used to be one of the most reliable mother fuckers around -- it was my senior superlative, actually, Most Reliable! ha! -- and I resented just about everyone for being less put together, less likely to follow through, less prone to doing what they said and saying what they'd do than me. I was a bitter little Type A overachieving cunt who considered myself superior to everyone (in part because my hyper literal Autistic ass believed that if you said you were going to do something, that meant you absolutely Had to Do It and Why Would Anybody Lie about a thing like that?)

Today I am a fuckin MESS and I am a much better person for it. I amble up just barely on time, I cancel plans, I forget things, I tell someone I can't make it even if in the most literal sense I could but I don't feel like it -- and many of my friends are tired, spent, fuzzy brained exhausted messes too! And it's fine! I have some friends that I regularly rely upon to cancel our plans because it frees up a little extra room in my schedule that I always wind up needing. I'm not mad or disappointed in them for bailing, my ass is relieved because I definitely have some shit to get to myself and probably four other people that I'm kinda letting down at the moment. It's not that any of us lack concern for one another, that's just what being a busy adult is in this day and age. We have work and creative pursuits and lots of friends and fucking and exercise and tile to regrout. Shit happens. It's not a big deal if I end up needing to see the movie solo or if we need to reschedule our breakfast date. Shit happens. I have too many actual problems to make a problem out of someone having a hangover and not being able to show up to my birthday or whatever. I missed their birthday last year, but I'll make it there this year, and maybe next time they'll make mine, too. The grace of accepting chaos washes it all away. My friends are my fellow comrades in the fuckin trenches and we each get to make one another's tours a little less miserable by understanding shit's crazy and fucked and that none of it is personal and that at the end, we still love eachother and are doing our best.

With time, may you find that kind of serenity and that ability to just keep on moving in life rather than fixating on the little slights and unpredictable things that will happen whether we fight them or not. Don't read too much into anyone's cancellation of plans or lateness or flakiness. Put your mind toward more interesting problems in your life, ones that some thinking can help solve. Easier said than done, but you'll get there. If my bitter anal retentive ass could become so sloppy and lovingly blase so can you!

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Lofty, how would you advise someone of the fear of becoming an adult?

I’m almost 17 and I am terrified of being an adult, because in just over a year I’ll need to have my whole life figured out, I’ll need to have a college that’s already accepted me, I’ll need a job, I’ll need to know exactly what I’m going to do and when, and I’ll have to do everything entirely on my own. I’m not ready for any of this, I still feel 14, I never had a chance to get used to having more freedom as I got older because everything was closed down for 2 1/2 years, and I’m terrified of suddenly having a bunch of freedom and a bunch of responsibilities and I don’t know what to do.

Sorry for the rant

I remember when I turned 18 I thought it was this big deal, like wow I'm an adult now, I need to do all these responsible things, I need to be able to take care of myself, know what I'm doing, etc.

Let me tell you, hon: nobody knows what they want to do when they're 18. I didn't finally settle into a career until I was 28. The majority of your 20s is spent trying to figure that out. And a lot of people still are searching well into their adulthood.

You don't have to have your whole life figured out. All you need is an idea, and to follow it. You still have time. If something sounds interesting, pursue it, research it, do an internship. Dip your toes into so many puddles until you find something you like, and then try to pursue that. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work out, and that's okay. People change their majors a million times in college. I was originally going to go to medical school, then thought about nursing school but was too late to switch, then physician assistant school, then medical school, and finally went to nursing school. It's going to be okay. <3

There will be a steep learning curve, depending on what you do about school and work, but that doesn't mean everything is going to change all at once. Change is scary, but it's always going to happen. Always take things one day at a time. I find it helpful to have like a big, vague goal and then the future can deal with itself - I can orient big things around that vague goal, but outside of that I just take life one day at a time. I ask God to get me through each day and we make it together.

Also, a lot of people--nearly everyone, really--totally gets that at 18 you don't have it all figured out. After all, we've all been there! Give yourself some grace, those around you will do so as well. ;)

The world is a big, scary place, but it's also beautiful and wonderful and exciting! You still have time, and you'll be okay. <3

[smolgloves]

Not So Useless

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Summary: The gang is in the heart of the lair where they must fight the hag

Tw: Blood, gore, violence, mentions of sex, and near death experience

Despite the looming threat of facing a hag, Freya found a glimmer of joy in this dark cave. Tav.

They marched forward ready to strike anything that decided to jump out at them. Freya gave a soft sigh as she stared at Tav, there was just so much to admire when they were half the size as the others yet willing to take the lead to protect the group.

“It's cute, you know.” Astarion spoke in a hushed tone. “Looking at Tav like that.”

Freya snapped her head over to the elf, a puckish grin planted on his lips. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“There's no need to be coy.” He said with a breathy laugh. “You stare at them like a lovesick puppy.”

Immediately, Freya's eyes darted to Tav and the two women to make sure none of them heard what Astarion was implying, she couldn't believe he just said that out loud! “your eyes must be getting dull if that's what you see.”

The borrower's retort only fueled the teasing spark in his eyes as he gestured over to the unknowing halfling. “I don't blame you, Tav is a delicious treat; I would know, I've indulged myself.”

A tight knot formed in Freya's gut, her heart sputtered at the mere thought of them fucking. Was she… jealous? No, Freya was just annoyed that Astarion would bring this up all of a sudden. “Good for you.”

“Oh, don't be so tense, darling. I'm just trying to start a conversation.”

“I'd rather stay focused on the mission.” She said through tight lips.

Astarion scoffed. “You're no fun.”

“It's hard to be when a hag wants to use your people as potions.”

Astarion glanced over at the borrower on his shoulder, his quiet expression only made her grow more tense. “They cast you out, yet you still want to save them, why?” A scowl was painted on his face, yet despite the obvious disgust he voiced, there was a curiosity that lingered in his tone.

“Because they don't deserve to suffer from a hag.”

He gave a haughty laugh. “Really, because if I can't imagine wanting to lift a finger for someone who wronged me like that!”

“Of course, you wouldn't understand.” Freya gave a sharp exhale. “Not all of them are bad people, there's good people.”

“But did the good ones try to stop your exile?”

Silence hung in the air, Freya thought of her dear cousin, who voiced his opinion, yet didn't do much to stop his dad from making the call. Freya wanted to give Kes grace for not intervening more, but there was a selfish part of her that wished he would have told his father off right there! It wasn't fair, she has been more supportive of him than Uncle Eskel would ever be! Yet, he let this happen.

“That doesn't matter.” She quickly snapped back. “There was no stopping my exile once the elders made the decision.”

“And what makes you think your little leaves will be any different?” He shot a look so full of contempt it had Freya scrunching up her nose.

“Oh, why do you care?”

“I'm just wondering what you'll do if your little plan doesn't go over well.” He shrugged. “Where will you go if you never get accepted back to your colony?”

That was a scenario Freya had avoided thinking about because the truth was, she had no idea what she would do. Ideas flitted in her mind all at once, she could always live near the outskirts of the border, then she could at least see Kes. However, the outskirts weren't exactly a safe place to live especially with Goblins and gnolls roaming around. There was always the option to travel and see the world like her father used to, but not only is that dangerous, she would have no one to share the journey with. Defeating the hag and delivering the Aixosfeaf to the colony had to work in favor!

“Hold it.” Tav commanded quietly, making everyone stop and hold their breath. A shrill voice was spewing curses in the distance. Everyone crouched down and pressed forward, the shadows becoming their cloak as they reached an opening. Mushrooms of varying sizes cluttered the pit of the cave, with moss that lined the walls and plants sprouting from the dirt, had the circumstances been different, Freya would have been ecstatic to be in a place that grew such an array of herbs, but the writhing old woman kept her focused on the mission.

“Vile, wretched worms!” The hag wailed out as she plucked herbs and mushrooms that gathered around the area. Freya took note of the plants she grabbed, no doubt she was trying to make an elixir to aid her severed hand.

The group split, with Shadowheart stalking off in the shadows, past the hag without a trace. Karlach and Tav seemed to stick together, hiding behind boulders, but Astarion veered away from everyone, sneaking over to a rocky perch that clung to the shadows. It was the perfect spot to stay hidden while also keeping a tiny woman safe from the action.

As Astarion stayed crouched, Freya kept her eyes on Tav and Karlach, they approached the hag cautiously with their weapons ready the moment the vile wench tried anything. However when she eyed the two, she ceased her agony to throw on a menacing glare.

“Think you'll finish the job so easily?”

Tav gave a short laugh. “I've fought one too many hags to think a wounded hag would be any less dangerous.”

“You're smarter than you look, halfling.” The hag smirked. “Too bad you weren't smart enough to leave when you had the chance.”

Snarls from those redcaps echoed down the tunnels and soon a swarm of the vicious fey circled the two. Tension built up in Freya, she counted at least ten of those things, maybe even more! Tav and Karlach may be tough, but could they take on a whole swarm?

“Detono!” Tav thrust their hands forward as they spoke the words. A boom erupted and several of the redcaps plus the hag were thrusted back!

From the shadows, on the other side, Shadowheart shouted a phrase that sounded like Silentium, and a purple aura surrounded an area of the cave. Freya was about to ask what the cleric did but she got distracted by Karlach charging in swinging her greataxe at the hag. She staggered back trying to avoid being sliced to bits by the barbarian. Meanwhile Tav took on several redcaps at once, knocking them back with ease! However, Astarion drew his bow and shot at a redcap that seemed to be running away.

“What are you doing?” Freya snapped. “You're going to give away our position!”

“I'm trying to make sure Shadowheart keeps the spell up!” He retorted as he hopped down from the rocky perch they once were stationed at. “If her concentration breaks then that bloody hag is going to be able to use spells!”

The spike in adrenaline heightened the borrower's adrenaline, watching as several redcaps stopped their fight with Tav in favor of the woman in the shadows. Astarion chased after them, running into the dome that kept the area magic free. Borrowers weren't versed in magic but even Freya felt a change in the atmosphere, shouts from Tav sounded miles away. She turned back to see a look of shock written on their face; one that would've held her gaze if a sudden lurch hadn't caused Freya to nearly fall from Astarion's shoulder. She grabbed onto his collar, scrambling to keep herself from losing balance, Astarion had stabbed the redcap in the back, making it go limp. He didn't give the borrower on his shoulder a chance to catch her breath before he bolted off to the next one.

This redcap turned back to counter Astarion's attack with its sickle, swiping at him in an attempt to slice open his belly. Fortunately, the vampire was quicker than the redcap but he couldn't seem to land a blow as the creature creature was aware of his tricks.

Finding her footing, Freya was able to sit up and slip the leather collar between her under arm and torso, keeping her somewhat stable during the erratic movements. It was an awkward position but it was the best she could do as she gripped her peashooter and aimed for the redcap. Once it got dangerously close, Freya shot a pebble towards it, hitting it square on the nose.

It staggered back, letting out a howl before being promptly cut off by Astarion as he slashed his blade across its throat. There was a pause from him as he glanced at the dead creature, blood pooling at his feet. “Seems like you're worth more than just being hag bait.”

Freya rolled her eyes. “Just try and keep your shoulder steady!”

“I'll do my very best, darling.” He gave a cheeky grin before making a mad dash to the next prey.

Pride swelled inside Freya's chest when she caught a glimpse at him. Astarion could throw a hundred backhanded compliments her way but it didn't hide the approving look that fired in his crimson eyes.

Astarion's blade pierced another redcap in the back. Just in time too, as it had Shadowheart cornered. She glanced at her ‘saviors’ before shooting a radiant bolt at an enemy.

“I don't think this is keeping her safe.”

“No, I'm keeping you safe.” Astarion fired back with a smug tone that matched Shadowheart.

“I'm fine, anyways.” Freya scoffed, keeping watch for more redcaps.

“See, she can handle herself.” Astarion gave a short laugh. “I'm not sure why anyone doubted her abilities.”

“Careful Astarion, keep talking like that and you may yet like her.” Shadowheart said teasingly.

“It'll take more than a few lucky shots for me to ever like a borrower.” A haughty laugh erupted from him.

Freya broke her gaze from the battlefield to glare at the vampire. If they weren't in the middle of a fight, she would absolutely swing at that smug face of his!

“Look out!” Karlach's voice carried over to the three. A redcap had broken away from Karlach's range and charged after them with terrifying agility. It lunged forward and Astarion only had a split second to duck away. While he and Freya got lucky, Shadowheart was not and got her arm sliced by the sickle. She cried out and in a moment the spell silencing aura disappeared.

“Gods damn it!” Growled Astarion as he backstabbed the last of the redcaps.

There was a chilling laughter from the hag, Freya snapped her head in her direction but she was nowhere to be seen. Dread washed over her as she felt like a sitting duck about to be hunted.

“Keep your guard up.” Shadowheart warned.

Despite her hammering heart, Freya scanned the area for anything out of the ordinary. The battlefield was eerily silent, with everyone remaining still as statues. She briefly glanced at Tav, who looked like they were ready to dash over to her and Astarion, but the borrower broke eye contact when she noticed a large mushroom that seemed to radiate a sickly green color near the halfling. It took a second for her to realize that was Deathsbreath.

“Get out of there, Tav!” She shouted but it was too late, as spores erupted from the mushroom and sent Tav tumbling forward, coughing up bile. The hag revealed herself to lunge at Tav, only for Karlach to rush up and swing her ax at her. Shadowheart and Astarion rushed towards Tav, helping them up.

“I'm alright.” Tav waved off Shadowheart's healing spell to look up at Astarion. “Get her out of here, now.”

“Hol-!” Freya’s protests were cut short by Astarion making a mad dash for the exit. She tugged at his collar urging him to turn back, he didn't even bother to give her an annoyed glance. However, he stumbled to a halt, snarling a bunch of profanities towards the ground. Freya followed his gaze to find twisting vines wrapping themselves around his ankles. He took his dagger and began slicing his way to freedom but for every one vine that was torn away, three more snaked their way around the vampire's limbs!

“Get out of here while you still can!” He ordered.

“I'm not leaving you guys behind!” Freya snapped, she frantically searched for an opportunity to free Astarion. “Maybe I can help!”

“The hells you can!” Astarion bared his fangs at an attempt to scare her into listening. “Don't be stupid!”

“Didn't realize trying to save you was stupid!” Freya sneered, pulling out her tiny dagger in a futile attempt to slice the massive vines. A vile screech from behind broke her attention, Freya turned to see the hag charging at them with her claw-like nails out to attack. The borrower screamed and squeezed her eyes shut, pressing herself into the cold neck of Astarion as a foolish attempt to protect herself.

Then…. nothing. Freya blinked a few times, before finally looking over to where the hag was. To her shock, she stood a few feet away, that menacing glare no longer aimed at them but instead at Tav, who stood in between them. Blood dripped down from their side staining their robes, as each breath they took became shakier.

“To think Ethiel was bested by you.” The hag spoke coldly. “Did you really think sacrificing yourself for those two would prolong their lives? That I wouldn't toss you aside and tear their innards out?”

To the surprise of everyone, Tav responded with a weak laugh. “Did you truly think…. saving them was my only… reason for doing this?”

Using all their strength, Tav thrusted a fist forward into the hag's chest, their hand slicing through like a knife to butter. Blood oozed down their arm, and the hag stared down at the tiny monk in horror. Then her face twisted in pain the further Tav seemed to reach into her chest cavity. Finally, the hag staggered back, clutching the wound in an attempt to stop the blood from flowing out. She dropped to her knees, never breaking eye contact with them. “You… fool.” The hag uttered before finally collapsing on the ground, letting out a final breath.

Once they knew she was dead, Tav stumbled back, wheezing out each breath.

“Shit! Tav!” Astarion scrambled out of the now shriveling vines and rushed over to the halfling. He wasn't even trying to be careful with Freya on his shoulder, but she couldn't blame him as she was ripped out of her shock when she laid her eyes on Tav. Their dark skin grew pale and their eyes were bloodshot, Freya wasn't sure if they were hurting more from the deathsbreath, or from the blood loss, but it was clear. Tav was dying!

“Bloody hells!” Shadowheart exclaimed as she ran up to Tav with Karlach. She quickly knelt down to heal them. “Stand back, I got this.”

Before she could even lay hands on them, tremors made everyone stumble, Freya had to grip onto Astarion's collar to keep from falling off. Stalagmites falling from the ceiling and rocks tumbling forward, the ground cracked around them. The hag may have died, but she wasn't going to go without taking her killers with her.

“Let's get out of here first!” Karlach shouted.

Astarion wasted no time pulling Tav close to his chest. His arms shook as he stood to his full height and ran. He kept his eyes on the two women who were already heading for the exit, but Freya just stared down at Tav. Their eyes squeezed shut. Would they even have time to get out of this crumbling cave before they succumb to their aliment?

Her thoughts were immediately silenced as the quakes intensified and made the quick footed vampire stumble forward. Then the ground cracked underneath his feet and shattered. Gravity did its job in pulling the three down the open cavern, Freya's heart lodged itself in her throat, sealing a scream that desperately wished to break out. All she could do was watch in horror as darkness shrouded the three and they were swallowed up by the earth.

[drunkewok]

Tiger Inside

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Stray Kids Mafia (ongoing)

Masterlist

Likes, reblogs and feedback always greatly appreciated

WC: 5.4k

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Genre: Series, Enemies to lovers, non-idol AU, Mafia AU

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, drinking, swearing, violence, weapons

Disclaimer: Any portrayal of Stray Kids or any other idols in this story is purely fiction and do not at all reflect their own personalities or how I view them as a person, it is purely for the sake of the story.

Please do not copy or repost my work

Two days.

Two days was all we had for preparations.

After my conversation with Chan yesterday, it was agreed upon that time was of the essence, especially with Jiho breathing down our necks. The time and place had been confirmed after a secondary call with Big Bang, the plan was set in motion, all we had to do was execute.

Seongho was quick in befriending each of the members last night. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d start to think they might actually like him better than me. 

When the sun had risen, Seongho wasted no time bounding over to my room from his guest bed, laying across me and groaning until I finally had stirred awake. 

"Get offffff" I choked out into my pillow, squirming under his body weight. With a chuckle he splayed his arms out to his side like a starfish, dispersing his weight farther across my body.

"Maybe if you weren't lazy we wouldn't be having this problem."

"So help me god if you don't get off right now you're going to suffocate me, have fun explaining that to Chan." My legs flailed beneath him, feet kicking backward in an attempt to kick him.

Seongho finally rolled off of me, settling into the space beside me in bed with a groan. I hoisted myself onto my elbows, finally allowing myself to breathe.

"You're way too energetic this early in the morning." My head dropped forward, hair draping across my face as I closed my eyes, wishing I could let sleep take over once more.

"And you sleep in too much, come to the gym with me."

"I can't, Seungmin still hasn't cleared me for physical activity." I fell forward back into my pillow, my body melting into the warm sheets as I pulled the blanket up over my head. "Just go down there yourself, let me sleep."

"Com'on, it's no fun down there by myself, at least come tell me if I'm doing stuff right." 

"Oh jesus christ. Fine." 

I originally had a full day of relaxation planned, letting myself to do little to nothing until nightfall when Seongho, Felix and I would head to Blossom after closing. But alas, relaxation was far from Seongho’s mind, the gusto almost literally dripping off of him.

He felt like a kid on Christmas, far too eager to experience everything all at once. I had assured him that if he wanted me involved in any of his early morning shenanigans he would have to patiently wait for me to consume my morning coffee, preferably in silence after my rude awakening.

By the grace of the heavens, Changbin and Jeongin had made their way into the kitchen while Seongho mindlessly swung side to side in his stool, watching as I leaned back against the counter with my warm mug in hand. The two were clearly about to head down to the gym, filling their water bottles with shared jokes.

"What amazing timing you two have" Changbin and Jeongin both directed their attention to me, causing Jeongin to slightly spill some water in the process of his distraction. "Seongho needs a training buddy and I can't assist with that quite yet, care to take him under your wing?" 

Changbin's smile grew as he stepped over and gave Seongho a soft punch to the arm, before nodding back to the stairwell. 

"Yes! Come join Dwaekki gym!"

My brows furrowed in confusion as I looked at Jeongin, mouthing a silent question to him with the single word dwaekki?

He shrugged, clearly just accepting cluelessness to Changbin's naming scheme, not quite sure of an answer for me.

Before I knew it, the three were shuffling from the room, their laughter carrying down the hall as they slipped from my sight. 

I let out a slow sigh in the new peace and quiet that was surrounding me, turning to gaze out the window and observing the crisp snow blanketing the ground. 

"Winter sure snuck up on us fast, didn't it?" I turned my head to see Chan sneaking up behind me and refilling his freshly emptied mug of coffee.

"It sure did." Outside produced the familiar, comforting silence of fresh snow, the sun sparkling off each flake as they fell. 

"Where's Seongho?" Chan settled into a stool on the opposite side of the island, leaning forward onto his arms with his mug settled snugly between his hands.

"I sent him off with Changbin and Jeongin to get out some of his energy in the gym.." I let out a chuckle as I turned to face Chan, leaning back onto the counter as I brought my mug to my lips.

"He’s sure had no problem fitting in. How was it being back at your own place for a bit?"

I hummed in response, smiling down into the dark liquid in my hand with a nod.

"It felt nice, almost like a little vacation."

“Well, good. I hope that it did you both some good”

“I think so. At least for me, I can’t speak for Mr. Lee Minho.”

"You two didn’t have too much fun did you?" 

In an instant I can feel all the blood rush to my face, a heat quickly forming in my cheeks as I stumbled across my words.

"I-what? Who…no, of course not! Just a normal, reasonable amount of adult fun. Wait, no, just normal fun…of the non-adult variety.”

His brow slowly rose, lips parting as he let out a breathy chuckle with a smirk.

“Well you clearly don’t do well under pressure, remind me to keep you away from interrogation situations.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

"Of course you don't.” He rose from his seat, lightly tapping the counter before turning to leave. “I'm just glad to hear there's finally progress between you two." 

"The hell is that supposed to mean!? Chan!" I hustled to the hallway after him, watching as he hopped up each step of the staircase. "Yah! What does that mean!?" 

His giggles faded as he rounded the corner, giddy like a child. I blinked as his words replayed in my mind, stunned as I processed them.

I quickly dropped my mug into the sink, deciding that it was time to distract myself from what occurred within the walls of my apartment. 

Skipping down the stairs, I turned towards the gym door, slowly pushing it open to the noisy commotion.

"Oh com'on! I know you're not letting yourself get your ass handed to you by the newbie right now!" Jeongin heckled out from the bench, watching in amusement as Changbin and Seongho had a sparring match in the middle of the room. 

He gave me a wide grin as I plopped down next to him, back resting against the cold mirror behind me. 

"You shit talking from the sidelines right now?"

"Oh yeah, egging them on is my favorite past-time." His eyes glanced back to the two, letting out a humored scoff. "You seriously couldn't block that?" 

I'll admit I was quite surprised seeing Seongho in this environment. Throughout my time of knowing him, I never took him to have the skills of a trained fighter, yet here he was proving me wrong as he held his own against the Seo Changbin.

"Where have you been hiding this from me Seongho?" I crossed my arms with my head cocked to the side, observing each of his movements.

"Guess you weren't the only one holding secrets." Seongho quickly ducked away from one of Changbin's blows with a panting grin, clearly leaving Changbin disgruntled. 

"Sure took me by surprise." Changbin hopped back with a dodge, steadying himself back on his feet.

"TAKE HIM OUUUUUT!" Jeongin cheered with a fist pounding the air, laughing at his own instigation. 

I nudged him in the side with a grin, laughing off the maknae's enthusiasm.

"What? I wanna take the winner, and I want that to be Seongho." 

Sure enough Jeongin did get his turn up against the mighty Seongho, and I quickly realized I hadn't truly got to witness Jeongin in action yet either.

He was a bit quicker than Changbin, who was now a sweaty mess sitting beside me and downing his water. Jeongin's smaller stature gave him the ability to dodge Seongho's bulky  frame faster, giving him the advantage over Seongho's more balanced opponent of Changbin. 

Changbin on the other hand chose a different approach to Jeongin's heckling, instead giving pointers to each of their moves, using the sparring session as an opportunity for growth. 

It was reassuring to watch Seongho blend into the group like he had been here through it all, SKZ had welcomed him with warm open arms and immediately treated him as one of their own. In just under two weeks he’d established himself in their ranks and they’d given him his own room. Everything seemed to be working out perfectly.

I watched with a smile as the two danced around each other, Changbin's instructions becoming muffled background noise beside me. As I admired the scene before me my muscles began to itch, aching to join the action. 

Before I knew it I was starting to approach the mat, tapping Jeongin on the shoulder to signal a swap out. He hesitated as he stepped back, giving me a worried glance. 

"Are you sure you should be doing that?"

"It's fine, Seungmin will probably be clearing me for light work any day now. Seongho just has to go easy on me." I held my fists up before me, looking at Seongho with my brow raised. 

"I'm not sure if this is smart…" Seongho dropped his fists as he looked at me with concern, Changbin behind me finally speaking up.

"If I feel like you're going too hard and I tell you to stop, you need to listen, okay?" 

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say boss." I groaned over my shoulder, before turning back to Seongho. "Now come at me." I landed a soft punch to his stomach, giving him a laugh as he shook his head with a grin. 

"Oh now you're gonna get it." We moved much slower than he did with his previous opponents, letting my favor my good arm and only occasionally trying to land a hit with my injured side. 

I tried to stay mindful of being careful, but there was something about being active again that gave me new life, letting myself get a bit too carried away with my hits. The occasional sharp pain in my shoulder was ignored, letting myself just focus on where I was at the moment.

"YAH!" In my distraction I failed to notice the door to the gym opening, a disgruntled Minho quickly stepping between the two of us and staring me down. "What do you think you're doing?" 

I threw my head back with a groan, making sure to look away from Minho as I lowered my chin. 

"I'm being careful, Binnie's even watching over us to make sure I don't overdo it!" I motioned back to Changbin on the bench with my hand, turning back to Minho with a glare.

"The hell you are, I could quite literally see you wincing. Seungmin. Now." He pointed to the door, voice stern as he nudged me forward with his other hand.

"Oh com'on! I'm not gonna get better if I just sit here doing nothing!" 

"That's exactly how you're going to get better, now go see Seungmin." With a huff I left the room, Minho close on my tail. He stopped in the doorway, looking back at the three men left behind. "Please resume where you were-" He quickly pointed a finger at Changbin "-and no more encouraging her." 

I stopped in my tracks, turning around right as Minho shut the door behind him and came face to face with me. 

"If we've got Big Bang coming in, how do you expect me to be ready when shit hits the fan?" 

"By actually taking care of yourself, now can you please stop being so stubborn?" 

"I'm not being stubborn, I'm being realistic. I can't sit back and let this injury prevent me from helping."

"I think both Chan and Seungmin would beg to differ." He placed his hand on my back, gently leading me towards the staircase. 

As we neared the medical room my steps grew smaller, our walk in silence breaking as Minho stopped in front of me and turned with a brow raised in question. 

"What if I just promise not to do it again? I'll admit you're right."

"Oh no, you're not getting yourself out of this." His fingers gently wrapped around my bicep, pulling me forward as he left two knocks on the door before swinging it open and pulling me inside.

"You know, the knocks don't do much if you just let yourself in." Seungmin slowly turned in his chair, glasses perched on the tip of his nose and book in hand. His eyes stopped on the two of us, before glancing to me and back to Minho. 

With a reluctant sigh, he closed his book and set it on the desk behind him, turning back to us and interlocking his fingers in his lap as he leaned back.

"Now what brings the two of you in?" 

"Why don't you explain why we're here?" Minho side eyed me with a blank expression, waiting for me to finally speak up. 

I bit my lip as I avoided each of their stares, a metaphorical spotlight shining and blinding me as both of their eyes drilled holes into my skin. 

"I take it she was doing something she wasn't supposed to?" Seungmin looked toward Minho with a quizzical stare, the direction of his question being taken off me.

"What gave it away?" Minho’s head tilted to the side with a sigh. 

"I was being careful!" 

“Hush dear, we’ll deal with you in a moment” Minho’s hand flicked toward me, head turning to me with a brow raised in a silent challenge.

My eyes fell on Seungmin, slumped in his chair as his face dropped into disappointment, glancing from Minho to me. With an exasperated groan he placed his hands on the arm rests, pushing himself to stand and sulking over to the bed in the middle of the room.

“Sit.” His hand flicked toward the bed in instruction, before he turned and began to fiddle with the light to the side. My shoulders drooped as I groaned towards the ceiling, before being startled by Minho’s hand finding placement on my lower back, ushering me forward into the room.

“I really think you guys are making this a bigger deal than it is.” I shimmied up onto the bed in front of Seungmin, my legs dangling over the side and hands gripping the edge.

Seungmin chose to blissfully ignore my comment, instead clicking on the light with it angled a bit too precisely to leave me squinting and flinching away from the bright light in my eyes.

“Have you been doing your exercises?” He glanced up through his lashes, face heavy with irritation. Clearly he was going to waste no time starting the interrogation, light blinding me as though I was a criminal on trial.

I reached up and tried to angle the light away from my eyes, but Seungmin’s reaction was quicker, hand gripping my wrist and setting it back at my side.

“By the lack of response, I’m taking that as a no?” His brow raised, clearly unhappy with my choice to stay silent.

“I’m starting to think she just enjoys the pain.” Minho crossed to a chair on the side of the room, pulling the pillow from it before plopping down with it in his lap and feet crossed on the ottoman in front of him.

“Oh and the secret comes out. Geez what did you two get up to while you were gone?” Seungmin said with a chuckle, eyes carefully zeroed in on my shoulder.

“Literally nothing, he’s just being Minho and making stupid comments.” My gaze sharpened in Minho’s direction with a glare, bringing a snicker out of him. “Now can you just tell me I’m fine and let me go on my way?” Seungmin’s eyes pointed up to me as he gazed through his lashes, emotion flat as he slowly blinked.

“I’m sorry, but who’s the doctor here?” He tapped my elbow, demonstrating with his own arm the movements he wanted to see me replicate. I kept my face steady to not show any signs of discomfort as I rotated the joint, pleased to at least show my full range of motion having returned.

“Neither of you. Your license was revoked.” Minho snickered as Seungmin’s head snapped in his direction, earning a glare as he attempted to brush off the comment before turning back to me.

“You’re lucky.” Seungmin stepped back, letting himself fall back into his seat. “You seem to have your movements back, but you still need to be keeping it easy.”

“Oh com’on, I’m sick of babying this.”

“You can do light work. No weights. No sparring. You’re still in your physical therapy stage. And you’ll never get out of it if you don’t take it seriously.”

“Wow no sparring, what a concept.” Minho piped up from the side, his condescending tone dripping from the words as they left his mouth. 

My eyes stayed focused on Seungmin, hoping that if I ignored Minho he might have the ability to vanish into thin air.

“I was taking it easy, Minho’s making this out to be a lot bigger than it is.” 

“I’m about ready to tie that arm down so you can’t use it.” He heckled again, trying to interject over me.

“Better yet just tie her to a chair, that’ll keep her on track.” Seungmin’s head tilted toward Minho with a grin. 

“Seungmin! Don’t encourage him!”

“Don’t be doing stuff I’ve explicitly told you not to do.” He shrugged before spinning his chair around, settling back comfortably and pulling his book back to him. “Now let me be, I was busy.”

“Oh please, all you were doing was reading.”

“Yes. Reading, alone, without a troublesome little masochist and her tattle-tale of a babysitter ruining my immersion. So if you would kindly, get out.” Seungmin shooed us with his hand, trying to ignore us as we shuffled out of the room in silence.

For the rest of the day, I tried my hardest to distract myself from the ticking clock. It felt like night couldn’t come fast enough, and no amount of movies or egging Felix on in his video games could make the time pass faster.

As the sun finally started to set, Felix stored his equipment away into his backpack, triple ensuring every piece needed was there. As we finally made our way downstairs, Seongho was already waiting in the foyer, informing us that Hyunjin was already outside warming up the car.

I skipped down the front steps of the home, nearing closer to the dark car with the engine humming, leaving Seongho and Felix to catch up behind me.

“Shotgun!” with a giggle I flung open the passenger door, sliding in beside Hyunjin with a grin. He returned my smile before his head leaned back, watching behind us as Seongho and Felix slipped into the back seat and fastened their seatbelts. As Hyunjin put the car in reverse, I watched as Chan stood in the front doorway, sending a small wave our way before turning back into the house and shutting the door behind him.

Chan had expressed a bit of worry about just Seongho, Felix and I making the trek to Blossom, instead asking if Hyunjin could join us for an extra line of security. Putting the original four back together in familiar territory.

The drive there was a noisy one, Seongho and Felix’s cackling laughter from the back seat echoing through the car at another joke, one that didn’t quite seem to make it to the punchline before they were breaking out into laughter again as if they could read each other’s minds.

Thankfully the noise levels provided a distraction, making the ride go by in what felt like a blink of an eye before Hyunjin was putting the car into park. Felix slung his backpack of equipment over his shoulder as we made our way down the dark alley.

“Hey, here’s your stop.” I nudged Hyunjin and pointed to a dark, smaller alley that branched off the main one, the same spot he hid in waiting the night Felix spoke to me outside. With a small smile and roll of the eyes he tried to ignore me, continuing forward to the door.

“Felix made me, he said I was too abrasive to get you to come with us.”

“Well, I can’t particularly say he was wrong.” I stepped to the side with a chuckle as I watched Seongho unlock the front door, before holding it open and letting each of us file in.

“You were scaring her, I told you leaving the note wasn’t the right decision.” Felix stepped in after Hyunjin, with me following closely behind.

“Yeah what the hell was that!? It was so ominous!” I hopped up onto one of the stools as Felix flung the backpack up onto the counter beside me.

“I just figured it was the easiest way to get the message to you.”

“Wait, what did they do?” Seongho slowly broke his gaze from Felix, staring back at me with confusion.

“Okay, do you remember the last night I was there, and Felix was by himself?”

“I think so?”

“Well the night prior to that, they slipped a note under my apartment door that literally just said we need to have a talk with my birth name on it. And when I finally came back to work for my next shift, this little shit-” my finger wiggled in Hyunjin’s direction as he let out a defensive Hey! “-was hiding outside in the alleyway the whole time.” I reached across the counter of the bar, grabbing one of the clean glasses and pointed to a bottle on the shelf as Seongho circled behind the bar.

I watched as he poured the liquid for me, before I graciously took the glass and took my first sip as the realization hit me.

“Wait a second, you guys totally followed me home the night you left the note, didn’t you?”

“Oh yeah.” Hyunjin laughed as he nodded, almost surprised it took me this long to notice.

“I fucking knew I was getting trailed!” I smacked my fist onto the counter with a huff of frustration. “I seriously couldn’t spot you guys anywhere, but the pit of my stomach wouldn’t let me rest until I made it home.”

“I told you it was a bad idea!” Felix punched Hyunjin’s arm, before turning back to Seongho. “Before we get too off track, wanna show me where the office is so I can get into these cameras?”

With a nod, Seongho gestured toward the back hallway, walking Felix back towards the employee rooms.

“Would you like your usual?” I started to stand, circling around the bar and offering Hyunjin’s regular.

“I actually kind of hate whiskey to be honest, so does Felix. He always made me finish his for him.” Hyunjin leaned back in his stool, crossing his legs and settling his hands in his lap.

“Then why the hell did you guys order them every time?” I rested my hands on the bar top, eyes squinting in confusion.

“Well I would have killed for a Carménère, but I highly doubted you guys had that in stock. I guess I just panicked and it was the first thing that came out of my mouth.” ~~ “It always sounded cool when Changbin ordered them.” 

“Ah, of course you’re a wine snob.” I bent down to peek into the wine fridge, taking stock of the options now unfamiliar to me. “Closest I have is a Bordeaux, will that appease you Mr.Sommelier?”

“I would love that, thank you.” With a quiet laugh Hyunjin gladly took the glass from my hand, taking a soft sip with a smile.

"So have you always had expensive tastes or is that a consequence of the job?" I brought my glass back up to my lips, letting the alcohol burn on its way down.

“Oh I was born with taste, Hon. The job just made me enjoy the finer things every chance I get.” He swirled the liquid in the glass for a moment before holding it up with a smile. Hyunjin reclined back in his seat once more as Seongho came out to the main room, resting on his forearms against the end of the bar.

“So, if neither of you like whiskey, what does Felix like then? Seongho could whip something up for him.” I gestured over to Seongho with my thumb, who leans up from the bar to his full height, with a look of indignation.  

“Oh so you’re volunteering me then? Why don’t you make something for him?”

“Because I’m rubbish. And who wouldn’t want the world’s greatest bartender to mix their perfect drink?”

Seongho sighs and take his place behind bar, grabbing a tumbler from the dish rack

“So what’ll it be then?” he asked

“Something sweet, maybe fruity? He seems to like things like that.”.”

I reached out and slightly smacked the back of Hyunjin’s hand, watching as he quickly pulled it back and held it to his chest in surprise.

“How dare you make that poor boy drink whiskey when he’s a fruity drinker!”

“Oh that’s dirty.” Seongho laughed as he studied the bottles on the wall, trying to decide on what to make for Felix. The finalized drink was poured into a tall glass, a blended ombré of orange to yellow stretching up the glass as he topped it with an orange wedge, patiently waiting for Felix to complete his mission.

Before long, Felix had returned to the group. The act of connecting his system to the CCTV seemed like child’s play at this point for him, being able to clearly have a layout of the building stored away for Chan’s viewing.

I had gladly snuck to the side, bringing the sound system to life and letting the four of us have a night with the lounge to ourselves before making the trek back to the house.

A thought that hadn’t seemed to cross our minds was the actual act of returning to the house. Seongho, Felix and I were now pleasantly inebriated and shushing each other as we made our way up the steps. Felix and I had our arms slung over each other’s shoulders, trying to silence our giggling before slowly creaking the door open and sliding in.

With a roll of the eyes, Hyunjin pushed past the three of us and sat on a bench in the foyer, untying his shoes. I tried to steady Seongho as he swayed with his attempt to remove his own shoes, opting for no support from actually sitting.

Felix and I struggled to shush each other through our muffled giggling, him falling into me slightly before going rigid at a sight behind me.

I slowly turned to see Minho exiting from a room down the hall, head slowly rising to see us with a brow arched.

“Youuu should be asleep sir.” I said with a wiggling finger, his eyes growing wide as he stood slightly taken aback.

“I was asleep, until someone woke me up by fumbling in the door giggling late at night.”

“Why are you always insisting that I’m fumbling everywhere?” I groaned, head falling back in annoyance.

Minho slowly crossed over to me, face studying my own closely as a small grin grew on his cheeks.

“God, you’re plastered, aren’t you?” He chuckled, before turning to Hyunjin. “I thought Chan was sending you to keep these three in line, not let them drink themselves silly.”

“Listen, they did what they were sent to do. I wasn’t gonna stop them from having some fun afterwards.” He shrugged as he stood from his seat, waving off Minho and us as he started up the stairs. “They’re your problem now, have fun with that.”

Hyunjin’s chuckle echoed down the stairs as he turned down the hall towards his room, Minho slowly turning back to me with an amused smirk.

“I’m starting to think you may be a bad influence.” Minho’s hand rested on Seongho’s shoulder with a squeeze as he let out a lighthearted laugh.

“Bitch, she’s always been a handful.” Seongho slurred his words as his head lolled towards Minho, a considerable emphasis on the term of endearment. 

“WELL, don’t mind me while I FUMBLE my way upstairs now. GOODNIGHT!” I pushed past him with an arm in the air in declaration. Seongho and Felix followed suit, leaving Minho as he walked off toward the kitchen.

I face planted into my mattress at the sight of the soft blankets, the plush fabric enveloping me as I tried to steady my spinning head. I smiled as I pulled a pillow close to me, hugging it as my eyes started to grow heavy.

As sleep started to quickly take hold of me, a knock on the door quickly pulled me away from dreamland.

“Whaaat, was I fumbling too hard?” I grumbled into the fabric, turning back just enough to see Minho poking his head into the room.

“Here.” He set a glass of water down on the nightstand, a couple of pills sitting next to it. He watched for a moment as I let myself melt back into the sheets, before he let out a humored scoff and crossed to my dresser. He tossed a t-shirt and shorts onto the bed beside me, switching off the main light in lieu of the softer one on my nightstand. “Drink the water, I’m not taking care of you when you’re hungover.”

“I’m not taking care of you when you’re hungover.” I mocked back, my head lifting just enough to spew out the words before collapsing back into the pillow with a thud.

“Goodnight y/n.” He said with one final chuckle before the door latched behind him, leaving me in a peaceful silence once more.

I propped myself up with a groan, studying the clothes Minho had thrown out for me. With another puff of effort I willed myself to undress and struggled my way into them. Once I had, I threw myself back on the bed and buried myself underneath my waiting comforter. 

Turning to my side, the glass of water stared me down from the nightstand. A looming demand that my foggy brain took as a challenge. With a huff I flipped over to the other side, the deepest of desires to have the glass of liquid far from my line of sight. 

I tried to nestle my face into the sheets, trying to quiet the barrage of thoughts that hit me all at once.

In such a short amount of time, I would be face to face with G-Dragon and the guys again. Thus the start of our support team for what was to come with Ateez, and as much as I hated to admit it, Tiger JK. 

It truly felt like it was just yesterday I was arriving at the house for the first time, sitting around the table as each of the boys happily introduced themselves. I had the ability to sit in blissful ignorance of what was truly to come, and what secrets were going to unearth themselves.

I pulled the comforter over my eyes, blocking out any of the moonlight that poured into my room in pursuit of the welcoming embrace of sleep. This was all very real. Too real. And my head spun as I finally tried to make sense of everything that had occurred in such a short span of time.

I wasn’t quite sure when I had truly dozed off into slumber. All I knew was that as my eyes opened, I was aggressively squinting towards the morning light, hand shielding my face before burying myself under the covers.

If the pounding headache was here to tell me anything, it was definitely that I should have drank the damn water.

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@leagreenly @moonlight-the-writer @jamlessstars @venusmoonxnight @ishz @minbinboo

[atomic--peach]

Her Grace's Handmaiden pt 21

(Sandor Clegane x Fem Reader x Cersei Lannister)

AO3 version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48276340

You took to mourning confinement like a bear takes to its hibernation den. 

Racked with exhaustion and grief, you spent most days in bed.

Well-wishers were sent away, regardless of rank. 

Sandor was the only soul to pass beyond the threshold and with Stannis' ships in sight he knew they must discard their grief in favor of action if they were to survive. 

It would be harder for you, he knew. 

Sandor had held your child while he died and saw him with his own eyes from the very start of his life to the very end. 

Part of you still hadn't fully accepted he was gone. Though you had gone to the crypt and even watched as the craftsmen carved the chosen name into the stone, yout mind could not seem to grasp the fact that your child had been born, lived, and died all while you were asleep. 

You never even saw his face. 

When your milk came, Pyelle had been kind enough to instruct you how to dry it up quickly. For the first 2 weeks, it flowed and you wept bitterly until eventually, it stopped coming at all. Somehow, that hurt even more. 

"Love?"

You didn't answer, having trapped yourself under a mountain of blankets despite the summer heat. 

"Y/N."

"What is it?" You breathed. 

"You need to stretch your foot. If you don't you won't heal properly."

You didn't respond. 

Slowly, you pushed yourself up from under the weight of the blankets. Your body had mostly recovered, even you ankle was hurting much less as long as you didn't let it stiffen. 

"No." You said plainly. "Did the king ask why you were gone?"

"No." Sandor shook his head. He eyed you as you rose from the bed. You had taken to lounging either naked or in your robe most days.

Pycelle had warned him that it often took ladies quite a while to recover and that it was in both their best interests to be patient.  

You sucked in a sharp breath as you put your weight on the injured ankle, knowing the pain would subside as soon as the limb became reacquainted with movement. 

"I missed you today,"

Sandor didn't respond but sat in his chair as you hobbled towards him. 

"When will we leave?"

"Soon." He assured, pulling you into his lap. "There are too many eyes watching at the moment, but we will."

"They say you can see the ships from the highest watch tower now." You breathed. "Less than a day away."

Sandor nodded silently. 

He had no fear of war. 

He'd had enough people try their best to kill him to know he could hold his own. 

But it wasn't the battle he was worried about, it was what would happen if the Keep were breached. 

The Queen would gather the women and children into Maegor's holdfast in the innermost part of the Keep, and they should be safe until the Queen formally surrendered the city. 

But a formal surrender didn't always mean safety. 

"I'm going to say something." He began. "Don't get mad."

You didn't respond but listened. 

"When the Queen calls for you to enter the holdfast with the other women, and she will call for you, I want you to go."

You stiffened. 

"No"

"Y/N"

"You would have me squirrel myself away under the protection of the woman who murdered our son? And tried to murder me?" 

"I would have you safe." Sandor snapped, gripping your arms tightly. he loosened his grip when you gasped and glared at him. "You're still recovering. 5 weeks out of childbed with a gimpy ankle, if things go south you won't be able to run."

"I can fight."

Sandor smiled at this and you shoved him a little with a pout.  

"Aye, I know you can fight." He scoffed, "We've been here a year and you've got, what, 4 bodies under your belt? You're almost as deadly as me these days."

You snickered at that but grew serious. 

"I can't do it. I can't see her. If I do, I don't know what I'll do." 

"She's the queen. We will have to see her eventually." Sandor deadpanned before adding, "Her son has decided to enter the fighting when the fleet comes."

"Really?" You blinked before nodding. "Good."

"Good?"

"Good," you repeated. "If we win, his presence will boost morale. If we lose well-. Does that mean you'll be out there?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "But I'll be fine."

"You don't know that."

"I do."

"Don't go." You begged, shaking your head. "If you love me, you will stay here. Volunteer to protect the Holdfast instead."

"I'm no coward, I won't hang back while they beat down the gates."

"Listen to me." You gripped his shirt firmly, shaking him a little. You face was all hard lines and shadows, eyes still rimmed with red and purple, and hair frizzed and frayed from neglect. 

"Listen to me. You will not leave me here alone. I will not allow it. Do not ask me to just let you walk out of here knowing you might not come back because I can not do that, not now." 

Your grip softened as your lip began to quiver again and you buried your face in his neck. "Please. Please. I am begging you." 

Sandor wrapped his arms around his wife tightly. 

It wasn't fair to you, he knew that. 

But war was never fair.

At the end of the day, he was a fighter. 

He relished in the spilling of blood, and the sounds of his enemies dying. It sometimes seemed that was what he was made for. 

But your grip on him was desperate, and he knew that to leave you alone now was to condemn you to the madness that lingered beyond grief. 

"I can't back out now." He sighed, "But I will not be leaving you alone."

"You can't promise that."

"I can" he assured, pulling your face from his neck so he could look at you. "Don't go when the Queen calls you, instead I want you to wait here. When it's all over and we've won, I will come back for you. But if things start to go bad, I will send someone for you, you might not know them, but when they say I sent them you need to follow them. Dress in all black, take only what we will need."

"We're leaving?" Your heart swelled with hope for the first time in a long time. 

"I promised you we would leave." He reminded. 

You kissed your husband deeply, holding his face in your hands and only pulling away when you were breathless. 

"I love you." You insisted, pressing your brow to his. "Don't die out there."

"I promise." He grinned, kissing back as his hands when from your waist to hip and finally to cup your ass firmly. "And when I came back, we're celebrating one way or another." 

You laughed and pushed off his hand, "I'm still sore."

"I'll be gentle." 

----------------------

It was at the toll of the bells that Cersei sent for you to join the other ladies in the holdfast. 

A young handmaiden, younger than you had been when you took the position, came to collect you with frightened eyes and shaking hands.

You sat on the bed calmly, brushing the tangles out of your hair with a wide tooth comb of carved ivory. 

"Tell her grace I am grateful for the invitation, but I am quite comfortable where I am."

A second message came shortly after while you were dressing. He was one of the hired guards in dented armor the palace hired to supplement the men they had. He couldn't have been more than 20.

"You are commanded to report to the holdfast by Her Majesty the Queen Regent."

"Did she tell you to kill me if I didn't come?" You inquired, tightening the strings of your bodice. 

The guard blinked at this. stunned. 

"Beg pardon?"

"The Queen" you clarified, slipping on a pair of sturdy leather shoes over your stockings. "Did she tell you to kill me if I did not come with you?"

"No, my Lady." 

You smiled at him and nodded. "Wait there."

You poured him a glass of red from the stoneware pitcher on the table before handing him the glass. He hesitated to take it but after some nudging finally accepted. 

"Tell her Grace I thank her for the invitation, but I intend to wait out the siege here."

"I..."

"Young man." You cut in. "Unless you intend to carry me to the holdfast at knifepoint, I will not be going with you. Do you intend to do that?"

"No, my Lady." The guard shook his head before returning the now empty wine chalice, "Thank you."

It was maybe an hour before you heard a thunderous knock at the door. 

Peereing through the keyhole you saw the person you least wanted to meet that night. 

"Your Grace."

Cersei was backed by guards but entered without them, storming past as you looked her up and down. 

"Lovely night for a siege."

"What is the matter with you?" Cersei fumed. "You dare refuse my orders now?"

You could not contain a sardonic smile, "I figured I would be the last person you wanted to see, all things considered."

"Don't be stupid," Cersei scoffed and snatched your hand, "come on, this is no time for games."

You would not budge and instead jerked the queen back, sending the guards on full alert with drawn swords as Cersei stared at her lover in disbelief. 

"What has gotten into you?!" Cersei half laughed in shock, "Have you gone mad?"

"I know what you did, Cersei." You used the Queen's given name for the first time and the sharp edge to it drove a shiver up her back. 

Cersei's eyes searched your face. "I don't know what you mean."

"Don't lie." You sniffed dispassionately, "Or do. You've lied so much, it may be a struggle to stop now. But lies or no, we both know what you did. I didn't remember at first, maybe I didn't want to believe it. The idea that you could do something that cruel, that heartless when I loved you so much...It took some time to accept."

Cersei tried to yank her hand from your grip but you held firm, squeezing so hard you could feel the bones in the queen's hand grind against each other.

"But I remember everything now...so no, my queen, I will not be going with you. Not now, not ever again." You pulled Cersei forward, grasping her face in clawed hands, and the guards rushed forward until you pressed your lips to your lover's. 

Cersei froze in anticipation, the grip on her face a looming threat. The lips on hers were a tight line, none of the familiar softness and passion she had grown accustomed to. 

This kiss bore the threat of fangs and claws that wanted to tear at her face and throat. 

When you pulled away, you shoved Cersei towards the door. 

"Go"

The Queen lingered, too stunned to speak until the guards saw their chance to seize the villainess before them. 

"No!" Cersei ordered as large hands gripped your frame. "Leave her. Let her die out here if that is what she wishes."

You smirked as you were released, your eyes seemed like twin abysses at bore into the Queen's emerald ones. 

"Goodbye" you nodded, the word carrying a finality to it that gave the queen pause as she turned to leave, "Gods willing, we will meet again."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The battle had devolved quickly. Sandor knew it would be a shit show when the Imp set the bloody water on fire.

Men were strewn about the vanguard, some half dead and still moaning in agony. 

With half his men dead and the other half fighting for their lives, Sandor didn't wait for permission to sound the retreat. He had no intention of dying for a lost cause. 

When confronted, Sandor was struck with a sudden flash of hate. The imp and that idiot boy king, kin to the murderess that nearly took everything from him. 

He should be putting their heads on spikes instead of slaying men in their name. 

He was tempted, for that half a second as he stared at Joffrey's stupid fucking face he imagined it. 

But that would make things too complicated. 

"Fuck the king's guard" he finally growled, "fuck the King. And fuck his cunt mother." 

No one stopped him when he left, not even the gold cloaks. Part of him wished they'd tried so he could tear their head off, but they let him retreat toward the keep. 

As he left he passed Lancel on his way back to the fray. 

"Lannister." He growled, snatching the knight by his chest plate to stop him, "I need to call in a favor."

Lancel paused but nodded.

"My wife is in our quarters. Go to her, and take her to the dungeons, below the black cells where they keep the dragon bones. Follow that tunnel and you'll reach the shore outside the city. "

"You're running?!"

"Aye" Sandor nodded, "and if you had any brains, so would you. Take it from me, boy, I know a lost cause when I see it." 

Lancel considered this and shook his head, "I'll bring her, but I won't run. It's not honorable."

"I'll make sure they mention your honor on your tombstone." Sandor assured him, "Now go." 

When the knock came, you froze. You were careful to avoid any creaking boards as you peered through the crack in the door. 

"Lancel." You breathed, opening the door fully. "Gods, you look awful."

He did too. 

Splattered with blood and pale, Lancel's hand grasped at his side but he tried to look unbothered. 

"Your husband sent me, we have to go."

"You've been shot " you breathed, "poor thing, let me see."

"There's no time."

"Yes there is, come here"

You stripped him of his breastplate and winced at the wound. The arrow had been torn out, but the wound never cauterized. 

"Let me bind it, I'll make it quick." You snatched one of the dresses Cersei commissioned and tore at the silk until it was ribbons. 

"Keep the pressure." You moved his hand to press a thick square of lace and satin to the hole as you began to wrap strips of fabric would his torso tightly. 

Lancel whimpered at the pain and bit his lip until you tied the final strip tightly. The blood would seep through eventually, but it would hold for now.

"Let's go." 

________________________________

The keep was shockingly empty. Footsteps echoed off high walls and domed ceilings as you ran through the halls and down into the dungeons. 

The Red Keep Dungeons were layered, each worse than the last, but at the very bottom there was a tunnel few knew about.

"I've never been this way" you confessed, shocked to find a part of the castle unfamiliar to her. 

"Nor I." Lancel carried a torch to guide them through the darkness with his other hand on his dagger. 

For the first time, drenched in torch light, you saw the man that Lancel desperately wanted people to see. 

A true and honorable knight.

"Don't go back out there, Lancel." You urged him. "Come with us. You're too good for this city."

"I can't." Lancel shook his head. "I vowed to defend the kingdom,"

You sighed then froze. "Put out the torch."

He obeyed and you were engulfed in pitch darkness.

"I see it" you pointed a hidden finger at the spot of blue and green light ahead of them, "keep moving."

The tunnel let out to a rocky cove hidden in the shadow of the keep. Sandor had secured Stranger from the stables and was waiting for them on the edge of the water. 

"We can't stay long, we've wasted enough time."

You turned to your escort one last time, your eyes pleading with his blue ones. 

"Come with us." 

Lancel smiled, a look you just now realized you had never seen playing on his lips. 

"Only one horse" he excused lamely. 

"Lancel-"

"Thank you." He cut in, "for being kind to me. You were the only person who ever was." 

He looked past you to Sandor, who waited impatiently, before nodding respectfully. 

"So long, my lady" Lancel kisses your knuckles softly, showing his high-born manners as if you were a true lady and not a pretender. "I do hope we meet under happier circumstances." 

You mounted Stranger behind Sandor and watched the young knight disappear into the rocks. 

The sounds of warfare could be heard just over the hill as the two of you took off down the shoreline. 

You looked over your shoulder as you fled, watching the keep grow smaller and smaller against the blue-black midnight sky.

[ghostgirlvii-art]

From now and till November 30th,2024 I'm taking Autum OC request.

What it means is the theme must/will be fall. Any activity related to it if accepted. Provide as much details as you want if you have anything specific in mind and good reference for the OC.

Do;

Only OCs, any fandom

Canon x OC is accepted :3

OC x OC

Not more than a group of three

Slightly suggestive (you know stay in the good grace of Tumblr)

Don't;

The usual story; racist, homo/transphobic, hate message, fetish, etc...

Super detailed (if your OC has a lot of them, I'll simplify it, sorry)

Mecha, furry (I'm just not good enough)

I still allow myself to refuse to make the request if it feels dubious and/or thing happen in my personal life that force me to slow down on the amount I can accept.

Note: During this time I'll have family visiting at my place, on top of having work and other stuff so it could take me a little while to finish the request.