#(and obv a lot of these things apply only to cats/dogs; other pets require different things & sometimes Shouldn't be humanized to the point

[reinemichele]

Also... I decided not to put this in the new cat post, both bc I didn't want it to get long and I decided to leave the reblogs on it bc the pictures are cute, and I didn't want This portion to be reblogged. I know a lot of people feel the same way I do, and that's a great thing, but I don't... want a lot of attention on my posts or blogs. The trauma, etc. So I don't want this to escape containment but still want to talk about it, and am turning reblogs off. Like, this is a journal entry that I'm letting people see at a sleepover, not a speech I've prepared for my public speech and debate class. You know?

So, that preamble out of the way: I feel like... a resigned frustration about people Still clinging to the myths that cats are cold, unloving, distant, only around humans for food, only tolerate us and think we're stupid, etc etc. Or express surprise when they see examples of cats being loving and affectionate. (I... don't want to talk about the stupid ass misogyny and bioessentialism being applied to cats, but that too)

Like, it really truly isn't difficult to befriend a cat and in turn receive their affection. All you have to do is 1) show them, consistently, that you are safe and don't pose a threat to them 2) go at their own pace and respect their boundaries/comfort zone (like, hold your hand out for them to sniff instead of petting them straight away; don't force them to cuddle just because you want to) 3) treat them with unconditional love, initiate moments of affection occasionally instead of waiting for them to initiate each time (like, call them over, talk/meow/sing to them, get out their favorite toys to play with, etc. Do things that convey that their love is reciprocated.) 4) try to understand and read their body language, and back off when they give warning signs like twitching tails or flattened ears 5) provide them with fresh food, water, litter boxes, a clean environment

These things are basically tweaks on the foundations of establishing a friendship with another human, obviously the last one aside. So, why do so many people have an issue with the idea of treating an animal like their an autonomous being whose personal space should be respected? (Rhetorical question). I know that this is the ND, struggles socially, just had a viral poll about not knowing how to make friends, website-- but generally speaking, the people who make comments about cats being mean and unloving aren't the people who make up this site's userbase. ND folks honestly tend to have a much easier time socializing with animals than humans, for a variety of reasons.

I personally hate being touched, so I never had to be taught about respecting a cat's space and boundaries. Part of that is taking the "do unto others" rule very literally and to heart, and part of that is that I don't want to make any other living creature feel the way I do when I'm touched without permission. It doesn't matter if that's a cat, or a bug, or another person. But there's lots of ways to be ND, and like I said, a variety of factors that contribute to us connecting with animals easily.

And I know it's a harsh thing to say, but if your cat is genuinely cold, distant, tolerates you, etc... it's most likely due to something you've done as their owner, not in the "inherent nature" of an entire species, especially a domesticated one. Maybe you make a lot of noise that scares them, maybe you use negative reinforcement (Does Not Work On Cats) like squirting with a water bottle. Maybe you yell at them. There's a lot of things that can make a cat feel afraid of you and fracture their trust in you. Maybe you force them to cuddle and hold them in place when they try to get away.

I think the idea that cats only like us for food stems in part from what I discussed briefly in that previous post, people who exclusively feed their cats dry food. Most dry foods, especially the cheaper ones, are full of fillers of vegetables and carbohydrates like wheat, which cats cannot digest. Cats are obligate carnivores that need to eat meat, and specifically the protein taurine, which is typically found in abundance in the heart of other animals. So feeding cats a diet of only dry food is like if your parents fed you potato chips for every meal. You'd eat a large quantity in an attempt to feel full, but your body would make it known that its needs aren't being met. So, cats fed only dry food cry for more food more often, wake their owners up at early hours and aggressively, get more persistent when their meal is 1 hour behind (like the jokes about daylight savings). People get automatic feeders, but that doesn't solve the nutrition deficit, so it doesn't solve the cat's "behavior" (cries for help! to the person responsible for their care!) and both the cat and owner become increasingly frustrated with each other. The desperate eating of more dry food to get the nutrition they need is the cause of a lot of the overweight cats you see, and can lead to hypertension, kidney disease, diabetes, depression, lethargy, apathy, chronic joint pain, difficulty jumping/exercising around the house which makes all the above issues more difficult to combat, etc.

Most people . Only feed their cats dry food because it's cheaper than buying wet food . And I Try to be understanding about like, poverty, the housing crisis, economic turmoil, price gouging, etc etc. But if you want a cat, you're committing to at least 10-18 years of providing for this animal. If you can't afford to actually provide for them and meet their needs, you need to, like, play a pet-raising sim instead of fucking up an animal's health in irreversible ways, or making them loyal to you out of fear. This animal is supposed to be your friend, supposed to trust you implicitly and have a mutual bond of unconditional love.

I've never had any difficulties making friends with cats; the only time a cat never became receptive to my company was one that had been in a very abusive household. Neighbors and family friends' cats have all quickly sought out my attention and pets/cuddles. My cats have all been affectionate, trusting, and receptive to my emotions/physical pain. I have enough examples to fill its own post, but trust me when I say that every day my cats show through consideration, companionship, body language, and seeking out pets/cuddles, that they love and trust me, and my family. (Actually, I had a cat that would pee in one of my abusive aunts shoes whenever she visited our house <3 That cat said "your vibes are rancid and you're not welcome here")

This post is already pretty long, so I'll wrap it up here. I just wish that more people would put in the effort to learn/understand cat's body language and meet cats halfway instead of expecting cats to act like dogs do. (AND . I wish people would apply the above listed steps to how they treat dogs . You should be respecting their personal space and showing them respect too, asshole!) If you know what to look for re: a cat's body language, you'll see that they're telling us in a myriad of ways how much they enjoy our company, respect us, love us, etc.