#(and i didnt feel like asking ethan about it bc idk if he could really say yet)

[undermostcorgi]

drawing other people's dnd characters based on the image i made of them in my head and NOTHING ELSE because i'm evil

[katslitg]

how the open heart lis would react to you being pregnant. (obvs jackie’s pregnant in her scenario.)

Jackie Varma:

god she’d be pissed!!!!!!

“what do you mean positive??? check the other ten tests!!!!”

“jack, all of them say posi-“ “shut up!!!”

she’d be mad, mostly at herself for not being careful enough

pregnancy on top of money problems is rough

good thing you two already live together

wouldnt acknowledge it until she started showing

“dr varma, ure pregnant???” “yeah, just ignore it.”

shed ignore you at the beginning, not knowing what to do

“jackie, c’mon, you cant keep ignoring me! it takes to two to tango!” “i can and i will,”

when you finally force her to come shopping for baby clothes, supplies, furniture etc, she loves it

“omg look how adorable! can you believe our baby’s feet are this small!”

she’d become insecure further into the pregnancy

“what if im not going to be a good mom, hm?”

“don’t say that, jack, you’ll be a great mom,”

you two would move into the your room, since it had a better view and change her room into a nursery

the boys would help you put everything together.

“bryce, that’s not where its supposed to be- ykw forget it.”

“jesus, dr ramsey do you even know how to-“ bryce would shut up just seeing ethan give him a glare

“see i knew raf would come around to save the day” she’d flirt with him, making him blush

cutest mood swings ever!!!

“all im saying is he’s a fucking jerk and i- ohhh sienna are those donuts?”

jackie would get stressed at the weirdest moments, and you kiss her and cuddle with her to calm her down

“mc, you know i hate kids, why did this have to happen to us!!!!”

she’d slowly come to terms with the fact that she was going to become a parent

god giving birth would scare this woman, and trust me not a lot of things scare her

“mc, what if-“ “jack, breath, everything will be fine!”

when you two found out you’d have a daughter she smiled

“at least i wont have to deal with a little mc” she’d joke

when she got in labour she’d curse at everyone!!!

“AND YOU! YOU MC ARE THE WORST ONE HERE! GETTING ME PREGNANT AND THAN MAKING ME DO THE HARD PART I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!”

“uhhh....”

after a couple of years, the three of you would move into a bigger apartment, still close to the hospital

god, your daughter absolutely lovessssssssss aunt sienna and uncle elijah!!!! these two dorks would hang around with her all the time

“dad, can i stay at aunt sienna’s after school?”

“she’s working today sweetheart but mommy will be there to pick you up”

you two would have some sweet, annoying nicknames for her

love, sweetheart, sugar, honey etc

Bryce Lahela:

he’d be excited and scared

he would freeze when he found the positive pregnancy test in his trashcan

“i wanted to tell you but seems like you already found out,”

he’d shut you out and be less loud at work

“bryce, please talk to me” “uhh, cant have a long shift today”

but one day you’d show up to his apartment, keiki opened the door

“oh hey keiki, is bryce home?” “yeah come in”

youd try to get him to talk but man he was not feeling it

“i just need some space mc,”

wouldnt even take a week for him to come over and apologize to you

“im just not sure if i’d make a good dad, i mean i had two bad examples growing up, what if i-“

youd cut him off with a kiss

“no need to stress, bryce, im certain you will make a great dad!”

you two would have to look for a bigger place, and also someone to fill your spot at the apartment

sienna, elijah and jackie would help you decorate the nursery

“jackie those colours do not match with the blankets i bought” sienna would say while jackie just rolled her eyes

“well maybe you shouldn’ve bought so! many! blankets!” jackie said while holding up multiple blankets

“guys please its mc and bryce’s child we can’t fight over this” elijah was the only one who would think rationally

when you found out you were having a son bryce almost jumped into the air

“a little bryce,,,,” he’d say with heart eyes, making you roll your eyes

when you went into labour, he’d be the one freaking out

“can’t believe im saying this when im the one in labour, but good god bryce calm down!”

uncle raf!!!!! aunt kyra!!!!!

rafael and kyra would absolutely adore your son!!!! theyd fight over whose turn it was to babysit

“kyra, you had him last weekend!” “but mc said he always talks about how fun aunt kyra is!”

“why dont you two take him to the park together? he loves both aunt kyra and uncle rafael equally” bryce would say, making the two adults reluctantly agree

“finally a moment alone with the woman of my dreams” he said the second they left, making you chuckle

keiki would hang out with your son. occasionally.

“aunt keiki can you read me a bedtime story?” “right. im aunt keiki.”

she’d love it secretly

Rafael Averio: (pretending sora doesnt exist here lol)

this man would beam with joy!!!

he had always dreamt of having a big family of his own

“youre pregnant?” “yeah.... i-“ he’d kiss you before you could even say anything else

would brag to everyone about it

“do you guys know im goin-“ “going to be a dad? yes raf you told us like a million times” his paramedic friends would say

it was even funnier when you saw how some people avoided him because of it

would not leave ur side

“jesus ever heard of personal space?” “oops sorry”

he’d be at ur apartment all the time

“raf, not that we don’t enjoy you being here but don’t you idk have other friends?” jackie would try to get him out of the house

sienna’d be fine with it since he would help her cook n bake stuff

“i didnt know you cooked!” “not really just some stuff i picked up from my grandma”

he’d sleep over at your apartment

when you got insecure he’d talk to you and make u forgot about it in a certain way ;)

“what if im not a good mom? or what if your fanily doesn’t approve of me?? oh good god this is not going how i imagined-“ “relax, you know my family loves you, now get over here”

you’d move in with him, and get someone to fill ur spot in the apartment

the two of you going to the senior center together!!!

“now edith you better not get to comfortable” you’d joke, earning a laugh from rafael

kyra and bryce would come over and help with the nursery, of course it was after the boys’ gym day so bryce dragged ethan with them

“hey gu- oh hey dr ramsey!” you’d say with a bright smile when you opened the front door.

“kyra not that i dont love you but what even is this?” “yeah i tried to make a blanket but as you can see it backfired”

“uhm ethan you sure that this is the color we picked out?” bryce would panic, knowing damn well they didnt do the one you asked them to do right

“well good thing aunt kyra did got the good color” she’d go get it from the car while the two men started at her in confussion

when you found out you were having a girl he got super excited

“a little mc running around the house” he’d say, already coming up with names

when you’d go into labour he’d put up a calm gentle persona while in reality he wanted to screammmmm

uncle bryce n aunt jackie!!!

u cant tell me bryce n raf havent become close friends

“hey dad can uncle bryce and aunt jackie stay for dinner?” “sweetie youre ignoring the rest of our guests”

even tho they would admit it bryce and jackie loved babysitting her

“do you want to come with uncle bryce?” “bryce thats enough its MY day!”

his family would come around often, bringing gifts every single time

his grandma would try to get him to propose, earning glares from him

when your daughter heard juliana say something along the lines of “when is the wedding” she’d get super excited!!!

“are you two really getting married??!!”

Ethan Ramsey:

you two would already be in an awkward position bc of the gwyneth thing

what was worse was that he admitted to not wanting to get married and have children

god, that little fight on the way to leland and at house took a toll on you, so when june came to check on you back in the hospital you told her

“so, youre pregnant?” “yeah” you’d sob

she wouldnt force you to tell her who the dad is, but it was obvious

before the fight you’d always come to the diagnostics team’s meetings with a smile on your face but now it was a neutral face or sometimes even a frown

soooo ethan found out. not directly from you, but from june, resulting in another fight

“you told june but not me?” “you dont even want kids i cant just casually bring it up!”

the awkwardness would be there for a while, im talking 2-3 months

“enough already! you two talk this out! not only is this bad enough for the two of you but also for me and baz! think about us! and our patients!” june’d snap one day

you’d talk it out, still awkward around each other

“jesus, ethan we can’t keep doing this, i have an appointment to check on the little one, you want to join?” you would try to keep the awkwardness at a certain level, he’d nod with a smile on his face

so when he found out he was having a son, he’d be happy, still very scared but very happy

“im sorry, mc. i acted as a jerk and didnt listen to your needs. i want to be in your and our baby’s lives.”

he’d ask you to move in with him, which you reluctantly agreed to, i mean there wasnt even enough space for a nursery in your apartment

sienna would invite herself and elijah over to help you with the nursery , since they knew about you two since that time after the hearing

“thank you, trinh,” ethan would say as he accepted the cookies she had baked

“i helped too. just so you know” elijah chimed in, earning a chuckle from you

god labour was the worst, you had to do an emergency c section since it was a bit too early for the baby to be born

so when they send your son off to the nicu, ethan would be there the whole time, very worried

“dr ramsey, you should go we’ll take care of him” the nurses would try to get him out of there with no luck, “no its fine i just want to stay here”

when you two could finally go home he would make sure to never youre side

“mc do you need anything? want me to bring you something to drink? maybe an extra blanke-“ “ethan shut uppppppppppppppppp its 3 am”

of course your friends would come over but not as often since they had to take care of their interns and stuff

uncle baz and aunt june!!!!!

“AUNT JUNE!!!!” he’d yell when you, june and baz picked him up from the daycare at the hospital

“wow so youre just ignoring uncle baz?” baz would act hurt, making the boy laugh

[godlydolans]

hi idk if youre still concepting but i thought of elijah and ethans relationship in something borrowed and. imagine if elijah doesnt just accept ethan like yup thats my father. like he knows thats his father but he doesnt feel like it, he just feels like its irina's father and so he doesnt act like it. i remember a fic i once read that was similar and there was a scene on the beach and applying it tothis story itd be like: irina and elijah playing and building sand castles (1/?)

and irina shows them both proudly bc shes accepted y/n as a sort of step mom but elijah just shows y/n all shy and e is sad because he didnt show him? just little things that make ethan realise that elijah treats his mom as a parent and him only as like a friend or something and he gets all sad idk sorry if this was annoying i just had too many feelings

Okay, this was most definitely not annoying. This is accurately how Elijah is with Ethan. The little boy is very attached to his mother and all the people that he's known through his mother but Ethan and his side of the family is still new to him and he doesn't understand why this guy suddenly wants to spend time with him when he never shows up before.

Once, during the early stages of Ethan trying to get to know his son, he had heard Elijah discretely asking Y/N, "Mummy, why is this man always around?" And it had truly wounded his heart.

He wasn't meant to hear those words because they were taking place between mother and son in the kitchen but Elijah may not have known that Ethan was actually in earshot.

Y/N had cast her widened eyes at Ethan and visibly flinched at the pain she had seen in his eyes. Feeling ashamed, Ethan had given Y/N a mild smile before he had left the two alone.

Slowly and steadily, Elijah was warming up to Ethan, making friends with Irina, who was the stark opposite of her half-brother. The little girl was the most outgoing, talkative and loving child Ethan had seen.

She would happily show her small sand castle to random strangers passing by, let alone Y/N, a woman whom she had come to adore the more time she spent in her presence. Irina lost her mother when she was barely one. She didn't remember her mother. The only way she knew what Iris looked like was because Ethan kept a photo of her on his bed side table and often times, she found her daddy staring at the photo, looking sad and down in the dumps.

She knew her daddy missed her mummy. She missed her mummy even though she didn't know her. Y/N was Elijah's mummy and Irina watched how she was with him. She wished Y/N was her mummy too but she never dared say that to Ethan.

Y/N was sweet and she looked like a princess. She had braided Irina's hair once and it had looked so beautiful, she hadn't wanted Ethan to take it apart at night when she was going to bed. Y/N showed Irina as much love and affection as she did Elijah and that touched the little girl's heart.

So it was no surprise that she ran to Y/N and tugged her along to where she had made her sand castle, Ethan being already there admiring the miniature 'fort' as his daughter had called it. It was normal, Y/N had grinned at Irina and gave her head a caress.

"It's so pretty, babe!"

And Irina had given the older woman a very proud smile of her own, her blue eyes shining just as bright as the clear water was shining under the golden sun. Ethan had felt a pang on his chest, knowing how his little girl longed for a mother figure in her life. His daughter's smile was the exact replica of the smile his late wife had.

It was things like these that Irina did, that made Ethan wish Iris was alive to see it all with her eyes. She had longed for a baby all her life only for her life to be so cruelly taken away from her when she finally had a beautiful little girl to love and care for.

Thinking of the loss of his wife still brought a lump the size of a tennis ball in Ethan's throat. He didn't think he could ever get over it just like he couldn't get over the loss of his father.

"Mummy?" Ethan's mind was pulled away from the painful memories to the present where a flushed Elijah was tugging at Y/N's white shorts (that worked really well against her tanned legs, he must add), shoving his curls away from his face with the other hand. He pulled out a seashell from the pocket of his own shorts when he got the attention of his mother.

Y/N kneeled down to his height, tucking her hair behind her ears just for it to be blown back into her face because of the breeze. Irina also came on the other side of Elijah, looking at the pretty seashell with wonder-filled eyes.

"Wow, baby!" Y/N was praising her son and he was smiling at his mother, looking at her like she held the world in the palm of her hands. For Elijah, she probably did. It didn't take a genius to see how much Y/N meant to the boy, he worshiped the ground she walked on and Ethan loved that.

Y/N deserved to be loved as selflessly and wholly as her son loved her.

Ethan just felt bad when Elijah didn't show him the same love. He didn't come to Ethan to show him the seashell, instead, he just took Irina's hand and took her to the area where he had found said shell when she had asked him to.

What surprised him was Y/N calling the kids over and asking Elijah, "Did you show your daddy what you found, 'lije?"

The little boy looked at Ethan before shaking his head. Ethan could swear his son even flushed a shade darker when Y/N asked him that question.

"Well then, what are you waiting for?"

Ethan was not expecting her to say anything to Elijah but at the same time, he wasn't shocked by the fact that she did. Behind the mask of indifference that she wore like an armour every single day, there was the same caring, selfless girl who couldn't bare to see others in pain. She had tried to relieve Ethan's pain almost five years ago and today she was trying to do the same.

He just hoped she would allow him to take a look at her own wounds that he had inflicted so cruelly.

After Elijah had shyly showed Ethan his seashell and Irina had impatiently dragged him away to "find some for me too!" Ethan had turned to Y/N and thanked her.

She had given him a curt nod, tucking her hair back behind her ear for the thousandth time that day. "He's shy around you. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Just give it time, everything will work out."

He wondered if she was included in the 'everything' she talked about?

[ethxndolan]

you could do the extended version of what their gfs would be like 😏 orrrrr describe what they would do on a night in with their gf. thank you ily

OKAY *cracks knuckles* here we go this turned into way more of what they would do on a night in than i intended lol:

Grayson: so i feel like a night in, without ethan, would have to be scheduled and planned lmao and it would be this coveted special time where its just the two of them because ethan’s always around or they’re always out doing stuff. I think gray would like over plan tf out of it like he would lowkey be out here with a schedule like “first were gonna watch a movie and cuddle, then were going to order pizza, then i’m going to destroy you in mario cart, and then were going to watch another movie - but it has to be a light and funny one so i can fall asleep later, and then were going to eat ice cream and then were going to dance or some shit and then were gonna bang soft and slow all night.” i feel like it would be such a big deal to gray but she would just like giggle and think its cute but not at all give a shit about what they actually do, she just wants to spend time with gray alone in any way she can. i feel like something would inevitably go wrong, like the power would go out or ethan would come home early or they would watch a shitty movie, and grayson would get all flustered and upset that the night wasn’t perfect but she would assure him over and over again that she was having the best time just being with him. omg and i think he would die if she said that? u know like i think so many of their friends have been fake or using them or whatever, that his gf just wanting to be with him and do nothing would just mean the world to him and make his heart melt. but i dont think he would say anything, i think his eyes would light up and he would smile softly. and i think she would go out of her way to distract him and get his mind off the fact that things didnt go as planned, like she would start a food fight or a pillow fight bc she knew that if she could just get him laughing everything would be okay. and i feel like she would come up with some dumb idea to do something like build a fort or do his makeup or braid his hair or something but while they were doing that dumb thing i think they would be laughing so hard but also really connecting and like vining and having a deep talk bc they don’t get to be alone that often and i think she would tell him about something new she discovered like her new favorite book or some restaurant she wanted to try and gray would silently make a note to do something about that later. i just see grayson getting so frazzled about this precious time together and that it’s so important and everything has to go as planned, but like she doesn’t and she calms him down when things go wrong and she knows exactly how to distract him and cheer him up and she just like totally makes the night cracking jokes and talking shit about ethan in a loving way and i just think it would be the soFTEST AND SWEETEST NIGHT and when the night ended and they were laying in bed cuddling she would be asleep in his arms and gray would just be like beaming and thinking about how lucky he is to have her 

Ethan: so i think a night in with ethan would be totally different. i think it would kind of be the reverse of a night in w gray, like i think as soon as grayson left the apartment ethan would jump on his gf so fast and would tear her clothes off and be in such a hurry to bang and they would go at it and it would be rough and wild bc they finally wouldn’t have to worry about gray hearing them. and then i imagine them laying in bed after cuddling and like complementing each other like “oh ya that one thing w ur tongue, A+”. and then i think they would be like im hungry and so they’d be like half dressed and she would be wearing his t-shirt and nothing else and they would order in food and like she would go to open the door and the delivery guy would be there and be flustered by here just in a t-shirt and ethan would like show up behind her and clear his throat and grab the food and slam the door in the guys face and she would scold him and be like ethan wtf and his only answer would be like grunting “ur mine” and then after they eat or whatever that’s when i see them being all soft and cuddly and like laying in bed or on the couch tangled up in each other and i feel like they would have deep talks and just like talk about everything that’s stressing them out and venting to each other and i just feel like they would be laying in silence talking as ethan traces his fingers over her skin and listens to her complain about work and her friends and i feel like they would start to get bored and she would be like omg lets watch this movie or let me show you this youtube channel I’ve been watching like crazy and it would be something he’s not normally into and he would like fake complain and be like omg why let’s not but he would be kidding? u know like acting like he doesnt want to but really he wants to do anything that makes his girl happy. idk i see ethan being softer in his actions rather than his words? like he would always be touching her in the slightest way and not even notice he’s doing it and he would always be sending her music he thinks she would like even if he’s not into it at all and he would buy them tickets for some band he hates but he wants to go for her like i think he would show his love by doing things (dont get me wrong i think he would say i love u a lot) but i dont think it would talk about his feelings all the time? like i dont think he would sit around and talk about how important she is to him- but he would do things above and beyond that show it. LIKE WHEN HE GOT GRAYSON THE BRONCO DONT TALK TO ME it would be shit like that and i think she would freak out and be like omg omg omg i love u i love u and be like crying and ethan would jokingly like be like ew dont be so soft its not a big deal but he would be kidding u know just like down playing how big of a deal it is. i think it would genuinely be the one time in his life he’s not being dramatic and like is pretending something isn't a big deal. anyway back to a night in, like i literally don’t see them getting out of bed i think they would just lay together all night and i think they would SO talk about conspiracy theories and the meaning of life and she would just listen to ethan explain theory after theory and she would think it was so cute how excited and animated he got talking about them and ethan would love that he could share them w her and even if she didn’t actually believe them so she would so be like contributing to his theory and i think the later it got the softer ethan would get and he’d be extra snuggly and like ask her to run her hands thru his hair and he would be vulnerable in the late hours of the night in a way he usually isn’t and i think they would stay up super late and fall asleep and not even realize it and im so soft for this i love ethan 

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 9: “Break Down Everything I’ve Built” - Jennet

JENNET

not to be rude but i hate this cast.... me winning immunity didnt even matter bc my bestie got booted tf...

(a little later)

feeling alone, im not even on a tribe anymore. im alone now not furcifer calumma or brookesia, just jennet

(after eating rice)

i know i sound dramatic asf but ffft i was so uneasy starting this game and i didnt feel comfortable or didnt feel excited to play until i started playing with ethan so i guess i relied too much on him but its like... now what?? where do i go from here? like sam, sammy, jones, and mikey voted to keep him so its like... here i am with low numbers again

(after taking a dip in the ocean)

immunity doesnt feel so good when ur number one ally gets sent home...

(after polishing the immunity necklace)

realizing that tonight ive been on the wrong side of both of votes so now im... reevaluating my position in this game. i have to break down everything ive built and start over and see who i can really trust right now

JONES

https://youtu.be/GY0DufoCyLE (after live night)

LOVELIS

So today's been way more eventful! I've had a great conversation with Jennet finally & got caught up on all the live night stuff, thought it was just a live competition that I wasn't able to attend but then I woke up to Ethan being gone LMAO but oh well! I've been targeted the past two rounds but I'm still here so I've just gotta work my options as best I can, and right now I do wanna with with Jessica the most. Apparently Shane put in a lot of work to keep me during live night & I'm thankful but earlier when I tried to talk to him he wouldn't divert from that point & it was a little awkward.. like idk what you want me to do about that... so today's mostly been catching up with the people who I haven't heard much from like Jake, Lindsay etc and seeing where their heads are at, I need to be more involved in something big if I'm gonna be seen as a potential winner should I make it to the end so I'm definitely not shy of jumping ship from Sharon and tryna make something better for myself with the people that voted for me hehe.. 😳😈

JENNET

looking at the memory wall and im feeling very: vulnerable

LINDSAY

12/19 - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Q_KxHilwOebD8G3D8JAZsOMKdgsxFp-b/view?usp=sharing

JESSICA

I know in my last confessional I said I was close with Ethan. After I wrote that, I realized that he was a lot closer with other people than he was with me. Lindsay accidentally added him to an alliance chat and I expected him to freak out in my DMs (or at the very least ask me about it!) since we're supposed to be such good allies. But he didn't say anything! Shane said that he did get an Ethan freakout so I was like hmm... noted. Ethan likes Shane more than me so I am okay to vote him out a lot earlier than I was planning. Ethan also left out a LOT of information about the idols when we talked about them so I instantly knew at merge that he was hiding things from me. When we did that round robin conversation thing, I got Shane early on (I think he was the third person I talked to?) and he pitched voting Ethan which made a lot of sense to me. Plus I was a little worried Ethan could have had the Furcifer idol since he found that Brookesia one so fast. I figured if we were going to make a big move, that was the time to do it because if anyone was suspicious I could just pretend the whirlwind nature of the round was the reason they didn't know what happened. Speaking of idols!!! I'm 95% sure that Furcifer idol is in Sam's pocket. Shane had a vote extort power which he could play on anyone; it would force them to either reveal their entire voting history to this mysterious person OR they would have to give up their vote and sit out of immunity. I guess the vote part isn't public but the immunity part was and for some reason, Sam chose to not reveal his voting history. To Shane and Daisy, who don't know how the idols worked, this is a weird choice. But to me there's only one reason someone doesn't want their voting history revealed and it's because they didn't vote at a tribal which means they have an idol. Shane originally wanted to play the power on Mikey which I strongly did not want because 1) I already know how Mikey has voted and 2) I was pretty sure Mikey didn't have an idol so it's unlikely there was a tribal he didn't vote in and 3) If Mikey asked me about it, I didn't want to lie but I also didn't want to expose Shane. The question is.... does Sam's idol still work? If I had found the idol when I knew there was an easy boot on my team (he has to have found it before Pennino left), then I would have gambled as long as I could have to get the idol to work. My guess is Sam's idol goes until... f7? Maybe f6 or f5. Pennino probably left 3-1, not 4-1, but Sam's missing vote didn't matter because it was unanimous and wasn't read. For this round, right now everyone is probably voting Lovelis. It's the easy vote because he isn't here but personally I don't want to do that. Everyone says Lovelis is inactive but he isn't inactive to me and as far as I know, he is not going to flip on me and thinks I've been looking out for him. Which I have been! Also Lovelis cannot have an idol unless he somehow got the merge one. So to me it's like.... why not take out someone like Sam who (probably) has an idol? Or at least get him paranoid enough so he plays it. He seems like the kind of player who could easily stab me in the back so I'd like to get him before he gets me. Right now my tightest alliance is with Shane/Daisy, though I definitely talk about the game with Shane the most. However I also have good relationships with Lovelis, Sammy, and Mikey. I think Jennet and I are getting along well because as far as I know, I was the first one who told them Ethan's name was going around last time when everyone else seemed too afraid to tell them. They were not into that plan at all but I'm glad that I was honest with them because I don't want that to be a closed relationship at all! They also don’t seem to have a tonne of connections so they’re someone I'd like to keep close. And then Jones/Lindsay/Jake are people who I'm still getting to know but I do trust them.... a bit. I don't see that alliance of 6 lasting long term however I don't mind trying to stick with it to get Sam out before it disintegrates. I also think Shane is coming across as a threat which is great to me. I hope people don't think we're close because I really want to keep that relationship hidden. My entire game is about having everyone think they're my #1 (or at least my #2 or #3) so that they are less likely to leak things I tell them, less likely to vote for me, and more likely to look out for me. Information is power so I try to be in a position where I'll get as much of it as I can. So far it is working! I think. This is truly an essay

(a little later)

Oh also I never get episode titles in games so here are some: "Any way you slice it, it's Survivor madness!" "What a night, what a vote" "Please don't invite me to your messy party" "Social game is on 0!" "Survivor brings out the worst in you" "I'm a chameleon" Some of those are things other people said in other games but... oh well!

JENNET

apparently lovelis is rallying the troops to get them to vote for me bc i voted him out over madison... babe we NEVER spoke, and i spoke to madison ALOT why would i not vote u ? tf... its getting weird

JESSICA

LMAO IGNORE THAT LAST CONFESSIONAL That is not how the advantage works at ALL I now totally understand why Sam rejected it That’s so funny that we really read it that wrong.............. I love reading and comprehending the words that I read Still don’t know where that last idol is but this is so funny.

JENNET

so right now the only people i can trust are sammy, sam, jones, and mikey. i want to trust jake but hes in an alliance with jones, lindsay, daisy, shane, and jessica that he didnt tell me about. jones is playing double agent right now and the only reason i dont find that sketch is bc she told us info that she didnt need to. i will say me and jake had a convo about how we dont trust how shady lindsay has been and we wont target her until most of the og brookesia members are gone. im very scared right now but also very angry

(a little later)

had plans for this vote but sam got his vote taken away. im waiting to see what pops off at tribal/ the few hours before tribal before i can try to get the little band of misfits to settle on who to target first. so far its daisy and shane, i’ll try to sneak lindsay in but honestly i want daisy gone first bc shes hosted me and seen how i play and thats too much of an advantage. she’s dangerous to me and my game

JAKE

https://youtu.be/nZPMXTthz9Q yes I'm becoming paranoid and what?? say it to her face

JENNET

my dream boot order after this round (if lovelis is who goes): daisy shane jessica lindsay and then everything else can fold around itself but ideally jake is next to go

LINDSAY

videos r still uploading but here's my quick tea for this episode: feels way too easy to vote lovelis, keep expecting things to blwo up bc lovelis is throwing jennet's name out there. game way too quiet. shit aint right but i aint know whats wrong. i may be paranoid

JENNET

:ETHAN: ❤️ :JENNET: hours

SAMMY

so I feel like so much happened in this round? let's recap the live night and dive into our thoughts and feelings about where we are right now. So starting off after Madison is voted out, the plan throughout the day was to just vote out whoever stayed out of Madison/Lovelis, right? Okay so I go into this live event thinking that's the plan...not sweating...just chilling right? right okay so I get to talking to people and then I get in a chat with daisy who is my 3rd phone call? Then I hear of this plan to get rid of Ethan?? In my head I was like...blinks...okay so why are we doing this like what is the point y'all are being too complicated. So fast forward Ethan goes home. Then Jones lets me know there was a separate group made before tribal of Jake/Shane/Jones/Jess/Lindsay. Apparently all the people who voted Ethan? This actually pisses me off not gonna lie because I opened the door for a conversation hinting that I knew of a group to daisy/jess/Jake and none of them spilled to me. So I caught them in a lie and it lets me know that they are serious about that group of people and that alliance means something. I thought I was close to daisy and I thought she considered me her #1 ally but the info I have been getting really makes me trust her less. She was working on the idol/bridge with like so many other players which makes sense to how she was able to find so many powers. I feel used. She is close to Shane and it is obvious. I also 100% feel as if the Ethan plan was made before tribal or at least mentioned as an idea. I don't like the vibes I am getting from them and something has to change soon or I am gonna be finding myself in a rough patch. I told Jones about Daisy's powers to let Jones know that Daisy pretty much lied to Daisy about the street car ladies (sorry daisy I still love u but in the moment I felt used because I know ur bridge group is on like the late 30s and you didn't tell me). Daisy is playing the middle and I need to separate myself from her or at least break her and Shane up. She is using Shane as a shield. Also I was added to the justice league alliance and its so cute (Jones, Jennet, Mikey, Me, Sam) I love this group but I will say Sam is my weakest connection and I don't really have much trust in him? Hoping that will change in these upcoming rounds tho. Also, I told Jones about my vote block that lasts until final 5 which we could use to our advantage later in the game. I will be holding onto that as long as possible. The last major update other than me feeling somewhat left out of this "group" would be that Jess asked if I would be down to make a group after the vote of her/Jake/me/mikey which I would actually very much enjoy. Okay that is my longest confessional yet. I hope you enjoy. As of right now my top two allies are Jones/Mikey....Lowest on my trust rankings are Shane and Lindsay.

JENNET

lovelis dming me saying we should get out mikey pfftttt

DAISY

https://youtu.be/mz2Fg_Kvyqo

SAM

https://youtu.be/J81hUWIy6dg

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-dymdy5vjtHdwsY3JSTnovwaSRLvuzQt

JESSICA

me: lovelis will be a jury vote for me! me: nvm!!!! Not sure why being rude to people and attacking them is your strategy on the way out... but you do you!

LOVELIS

I think I mentioned chaos in my previous confessional and I think I just did that so you know what.. I'm content LMAO. I pulled out pretty much all the cards I had left to play this round and if it wasn't enough despite being carried the past two tribals.. then so be it. This has been such a fun past couple days and it's fun to just let loose and see what happens!

[forethan21]

18/12/2020

To me love isnt about staying in a relationship or dwelling on a feeling. Love to me is bending but not breaking to compromise. It is the kind where you know when to let go in hopes to trust for the best to come, the kind where you empathise, showing vulnerability and completely surrender. (Remember when Jesus died for us in the cross? Diba he gave his all, his everything just so we can live. That should be a standard in our lives. To choose someone who would do anything to just be with us without questioning our worth. Never settle for someone who gives half of their heart. Its all or nothing.) The kind that is mature. Love is what you do despite of what you feel. The kind that fights for the good of someone else even if they never see the value or sacrifice that you did. (Thats what Jesus did. He never complained when he was on the cross. All the pain and burden he endured bc he loves us. And look at us now not even recognising how amazing he is. We took it this life for granted- some of us are wasting it, choosing people for our own accord and pleasure. Im saying this in general im not hinting it on anyone, but if the shoes fits then..) The kind that demands temporary surrender of security, giving up familiar bad habits and patterns, giving unrewarded works and efforts. The kind that challenges you in so many ways. Love wasnt made to be comfortable. It was made to show change and growth.

Not gonna lie tho i loved you for you and everything youve done. Those memories are dear to me bc i knew you tried no matter how difficult it was to love me in some days. Kaya gusto ko lng magpasalamat dun. Likewise, something i learned recently was that we should never question someone elses love for us regardless if it was inadequate. Bc i realised we should be thankful for the amount of love and care we receive from any person out there. Family, friends, lovers. That itself should be enough. Its not up to us how much love they should give to make us feel satisfied. That wouldn’t be love. The greatest love you could ever receive should come from you and the Lord not from anybody else. So i just wanna tell you that i take back those times i questioned your love. Bc what you gave was already enough.

Im sorry i couldnt wait for you to change. Bc i realised if you knew how to love me the very first time I wouldnt need to tell you anything. I wouldnt feel hurt bc im rest assured that you love me enough to know what to do. It didnt feel mutual to me.

When u came bck with your letter idk it seemed like there was something missing. Committment and plans. Maybe i was hoping that youd take me back but i guess it was the opposite. And maybe that was your answer after all. To tell me that you arent staying. I hope next time you go into a relationship po, you dont assume the worst. You dont jump into conclusions when it gets tough. Bc like anything can change if youre willing to do it. You need to trust the the other side will stay. It was the way your mindset was so fixed on the idea that I will leave. That i was making excuses. Ndi pow. I jst have standards. Oo tao ka lng, you make mistakes but how do i know tht youre not gonna make the same mistake again? Im jst protecting my heart po. I guess i dont wanna experience the same trauma again.

I hope someday na you will learn to see the good in people regardless if they did u wrong pow. (idk lng ha pero I dont think youve moved on sa ex mo pow. I feel like you havent fully forgiven her and accepted what has happened. I know it hurts to know that they betrayed you like that but your worth is not defined by them po. You did your best po and if she did not recognised that then thats her loss. This is partly what keeps u holding bck. Bc u didnt get closure. I hope you reflect on that and find the closure that you need po. Dont tell me you dont need one bc i know deep in your heart that it still hurts. Like bruh the fact na sure na sure ka na sa kanya u were ready to put a ring on her finger. You were hopeful and certain. I think it was meant to happen to test you both in your worst. You had your mistakes. She had hers. Dont you think you should close tht chapter of your life before starting a new one? Or more importantly, dont you think you deserve peace? Ill leave you to think bout tht). I wasnt trying to find something wrong jst to let you go. If i did i wouldnt put myself in a situation where I will lose my friends po.

Ethan i understand you. I understand your fear of giving too much to someone who youre unsure of and thats fine. But you need to accept the consequences of your mistakes. You need to take responsibility of it and what you couldve done to fix it. (Reflection is very important.) Youre not wrong for not knowing that but again you need to reflect in every situation in your life. It doesnt matter if you were right or wrong. Its important to do this bc the next time it will happen to you, you will know what to do. reflecting really helps you to step back and understand yourself, other people and the surroundings. It helps with analysing your own feelings, emotions and as well as understanding the depth of your own thinking. You need to consider other people’s feelings too. Understand their point of view and why they did things that way. 

I told you yesterday that what happened in the past does not define you. You may have done them so wrong but i hope your realise youre not in debt to them. I remember your story about what you did to the girl. Yung trauma mo sa kanya you gotta let it go pow. You dont need to blame yourself every day for something that youve no control of. You did it out of anger. and she threatened you bc she has her personal issues as well. She was showing wat kind of person she was. It does not put a label on u. So far as I know you havent apologised to urself for what had happened and u havent forgiven her for what shes done. Whenever youre mad po dont let your emotions get the best of you. Give space and time. Step back from the situation and reflect. count to ten and reorganise your thoughts and feelings. What happened? what made me feel that way? what can i do to fix this? 

The way i see it lng ha pero it felt like youre pitying yourself. And i want o reassure you that i recognised all you did to keep this relationship. The fights where you communicated with me, the times where you waited for me to explain, the support you give, and how you made me happy each single day. What youve done until this day is enough. I cant emphasise it enough. Ndi ko yun binalewala lahat. I saw your effort. Thats why i fought for u. Bc alam ko ndi ka ganun na tao. Kc alam ko na they have perceived you wrong. I saw the good in you. I saw that youre worthy of change. Everyone does pow. That was the purpose of it all.

But ldr is frickin hard. Being in a relationship is difficult enough let along ldr. Jst thinking about the amount of trust u hav for ur partner dang.. you need to fully invest on trust yo. How to overcome and resolve issues esp if theyre like me haha. Its hard for sure to do tht kc even ako may trust issues but it is possible. But as of now theres many areas in your life that you need to fix alone. Im not saying that im right ha. I could be wrong in so many areas about you that idk of but this is based on knowing you for months. im not saying you have a problem internally cuz we all have problems po What im saying is that there are some things we need to learn from others as well. Its a matter of listening and comprehending what theyre tryna relay and teach u.

Also asking for help isnt a weakness. (Idk but i cud feel you were mad that I reached out to your mother. Bro i know na kaya mo nman maging independent and i know na ayaw mo lng maburden yung parents mo with your problems on top of theirs but its gud that alam din nla ang anak nla is struggling and needs emotional support.) Its realising that we are deserving to feel and be emotionally supported. so dont ever feel bad for reaching out and admitting that youre struggling. after all were only human.

Though i never said anything i lowkey promised that I would not give up on you (sinsabi ko sa sarili ko to) bc i wanted to show you what its like for someone to stay. You told me about your past and struggles and i did everything i can for that not to happen again. You told me what broke your heart and I nver wanted you to feel anything like that in the relationship. More like i ensured that my intentions for you are pure. But somewhere along the way i came to realise that we both need to grow seperately. Not bc i gave up on you but bc i decided to think about myself and what i needed. I dont wanna text you and talk to u bc i respect you that much to know that this isnt the right time for both of us.

Being the way i am right now is for the best. Were both healing and getting the peace we need. God knows what Hes doing with us and i keep you in my prayers at night. Maybe someday down the line well meet again, at the right time. God will decide tht for us but for now ill be supportive of you in the silence. I dont wanna be civil cuz i know itll jst hurt you more esp since you have strong feelings for me. Dont worry my love for you will remain unconditional. But one thing i cant promise tho is that idk if my love for u will stay. We dont know what the future will bring. We may find our happiness in diff places. We may find it together. But all i know is i trust God to dictate my life. Thank you Ethan. Kahit paano i felt your unconditional love din. You can text me anytime if you need anything. Ill be here nman pow.

[sweetnestor]

crankgameplays livestream 4/2/17

just a tiny lil recap (6 pages on paper to be exact)

he doesn’t know what to do, still getting his shit together

“I just wanted to say sahh dude” (shoulda kept a ‘saahh dude’ tally tbh)

said he wasn’t feeling good, hes got tummy aches

didnt feel like recording, so he streamed instead

doesnt really want ppl donating to the channel, but he appreciated it

someone said they wanted more original songs from him and he was confused

he started playing overwatch

on the Hit it fergie video: now he really wants ppl to stop tweeting him about it, he did the video just to shut them up

ppl are spamming ‘soft and neat’ thanks for your contribution phandom

apparently hes horrible at overwatch

ppl want him to play ukelele but he aint got one, the one he had in the 12hr solo stream was kathryns apparently

he hardly plays overwatch and frequently gets killed

“I’m an overwatch king dude!! Saahh…”

tbh its much calmer than his videos,,,,, voice is much deeper,,,, more relaxed,,,, good for the soul

so many “sahh dude”s

he forgot to tweet out the stream link oops

hasnt watched the walking dead in a while, he fell behind

used to watch twd with his dad a lot

he also misses his parents a lot

he talks about how supportive they were in everything he did, they never said one negative thing

they would drive him 45min back and forth for gymnastics :’)

he also cried while writing out a long birthday message to his dad :’’’)

“balls balls balls balls” -in the midst of a battle or something

“how did i die?” -ethan, when he dies

Ethan, brian and G are doing a panel for indy popcon and hopefully a m&g

he likes that ppl feel welcome here in the community

“Ew gross girbeagly? Stupid…” idk the context i just wrote it down lmao

“You guys really dont have to donate!!!” x23442345

will probably make more battle cats videos

he misses maine

doesnt like pacific time bc its super hard to schedule things and videos

had a road trip to canada w his bro just before he moved to la

He’s not going to do another snapchat video

In a dry spell when it comes to games lately, hopefully it stops soon bc theres new games coming

Robin is watching apparently???

Ethan says pax south is much more chill than pax east

He regrets not taking the time to reupload all his videos from the old channel onto the new one

Theres apparently 700 privated videos on the old channel

Deciding what music to play in the background

“Big jazz boy, yeah thats what i am, you know it”

*burps into the mic*

He put on the flower crown “i am adorable” :’)

Says we should listen to the podcast “the comedy button”

He listens to a lot of podcasts actually

Ethan does not live with mark, and he doesnt film in his office

Fave thing abt maine is his friends :’)

Once he moved away he really started to appreciate the town he came from

Probably gonna keep the blue hair for the rest of 2017

He likes ppl cosplaying as him

Someone asked if hes dating kathryn and he said no

“I’ll tell her about that, she’ll laugh”

Dancing to the music (this happens throughout the stream)

Someone asked if he could help them name their puppy

“Omg i love puppies i hope you love her forever and give her treats tell her i said hi!!”

talked about his pupper cooper (rip) and that she was his best friend

he really wants a girl dog, but he knows hes too busy rn to take care of one

Had a slight allergy to dogs but it probably went away over time

he’s playing with a silver ball

If youre mean and bullying ppl then u dont belong in this community, be respectful!!

says the ball is somewhat like a stress ball

basically he constantly needs to be doing something with his hands due to adhd

He did not go to college, took a gap year,,,, then another one,,,, then la happened

Considered going to film school and if he had time he’d want to do a short film

He doesnt think he could have a job that isn’t creative

He’ll think about doing a tour of his place,,,, possibly,,,, one day

Fave 21p song,,,,,,, heavy dirty soul,,,,,,,, maaybbee

He’s a scorpio (i only put this bc for some reason i thought he was a libra)

Mixed feelings about the ‘dark side’ character thing: he doesn’t want to come off like he’s copying jack & robin, but he does like the communities ideas

wants to be more consistent with trash goblin podcast

Crankgameplays name origin: dad owned a company called ‘crank’ & ethan had a poster of it in his room and then he and andrew were deciding what to name the channel, eth saw the poster and then bam

thanked the ppl who donated to the channel (lots of name butchering)

And thats what you missed on glee

[iwannainspire]

rambling 12/15/18

so lets start with the universe

i’m feeling more and more connected to the universe lately. i’ve always felt a connection to the universe, but its different now. like my relationship with ethan maybe. we used to fight, but realized we’re family and stuck together, now its all love and he’s so much cooler than i used to give him credit for. same goes for me and the universe

anyways, i feel like i can feel the vibe in the room. everyone can but some rooms have more tension. the outside is sometimes calm and other times its chaotic regardless of how many people are out there with me. i feel overwhelmed by the chaotic air when there are no people and i feel overwhelmed by the people in calm air. idk calm air is easier to walk in tho people or no people. i feel like my horoscope is always accurate and even if its not i check my friends and see theyre right. i like vice horoscopes because theyre vague ish. yknow? like it just tells you how the day will feel not what will happen. i like knowing how the planets change moods. i am connected to the planets and the tides. the universe moves and i move with it. my emotional state does. my psyche?

i feel overly connected. i feel the universe too strongly sometimes and it weighs me down or pulls me off my feet. i live in a snowglobe for days at a time caught up in the tides of emotions that don’t always belong to me. i invite them in and let them go in their time tho now which i used to not do. i used to ignore feelings i didnt like and sought out the happy ones. the search left me disappointed because happy wasnt as happy as i expected it to be. i put a lot of pressure on myself to feel happy when i knew sad was the one knocking at the door. ignored him or asked him to wear a happy mask. disrespected him and only made him feel worse. i’m sorry sadness. i accept you now. i invite sadness, anger, frustration, jealousy, anxiety, etc to come in and talk. where do you come from? what do you need? how can i help you before you carry on your way? i know we’ll meet again, but we won’t fight and hurt each other like we used to. let’s be friends.

i’m trying to accept all of my emotions. not just the happy ones. holding on to happy isnt good. trapping happy hostage when he comes to visit lol. locking him in the basement so he can’t see the sunlight and bloom. he gets sick and dies down there then you’re left alone again with just the painful memory of happy. it didnt have to be painful! let happy come and go as he pleases! i promise you he will come back if you let him go. don’t hold on to old happy times when you could be making new ones. live each day!

————-

zephyr-

the thing about zephyr is

idk. i forgive him. he isn’t evil or a bad guy. he is a product of his circumstances. he was born and raised to be this way. the environment and political climate he grew up in created him. it’s not his fault he is the way he is.

but he could be better.

i think zephyr is immature. i think his parents failed him. i think he failed himself. i think we all fail ourselves and other people. nothing to feel guilty or bad about tho. who has time for guilt for the past when the future is always a second away? accept what happened, where you are, who you are, and move forward. keep moving forward because you can’t go back. alright im getting weird and off topic now but anyway,

zephyr has a good heart. he has an innocent child’s heart. he’s young and immature. he was raised to believe he’s a grown man since 4. he makes his own independent choices. nobody can tell him what to do. he resents people telling him what to do. even if its good advice or something he knows he should do and was going to do but wont now because someone told him to. he’s an idiot. but it’s not his fault. he’s just immature.

he is sexist and shitty. it’s not his fault? but it is. he knows better than to be homophobic/transphobic/misogynistic/racist/EVERYTHING but he still does it because he has been told not to be. and that’s not okay with him. he doesnt like being told what to do more than he cares about how the other person feels when telling him what to do. its a virgo thing i think. not selfishness, but just stubbornness.

so zephyr could be better and he knows it, but he won’t be. he has to decide to do it for himself. i can’t make him decide to be a better person. i can’t make him understanding of others if he doesnt want to be. i cant teach him. i could, but why would i? i spent years climbing that hill and never reached the top. then it occurred to me that i had my own hill to climb. i need to take care of myself, not zephyr. he is not my responsibility and i am no one else’s but my own.

so i forgive him. im not mad about the time i spent climbing his hill to never reach the top. i wouldn’t have been able to see my mountain with its patchy trees and shrubs as beautiful if not for the barren desolation of his mountain. thank you zephyr for teaching me so many things about myself.

i am stronger than i thought i was. i’m always surprised by my growth because i can’t see it while i’m in it yknow. being with zephyr was experiencing growing pains and now that they’ve stopped i’m taller and stronger than i was before. thank you zephyr for making me feel alone. i found a friend in myself. thank you for making me feel smaller than i was. it makes it easier for me to see how much i’ve grown. thank you for hating the same things about me that i did. i know exactly what to work on loving and embracing about myself

i hope you can learn to love your true self too

————-

people have demons. i believe everyone has a good heart. this is leading off the zephyr paragraph bc he’s an example of a real human but it’s not about him.

i think all people are born innocent. theyre babies! completely and 100% being themselves. i think everyone has a good heart. nobody at their core wants to inflict misery on another. life is what you make of it and you are what life makes of you! it’s the universe!! we’re all connected to it and thus connected to each other so nobody at their heart of hearts wants to do anything to hurt the universe we are all a part of. but things happen! not everyone feels as strong a psychic connection to the universe. we have demons too. we have anxieties and jealousies and angers. they look like the wendigo to me. or centipedes. semi-translucent grey shapes lingering in the shadows. big ones stomp around making the floor shake. they rocks at you from a distance. they follow you when youre walking home alone at night. they whisper in your ear. they slither through your blood stream making your heart beat too fast then too slow and your hands cant stop shaking. they twist in your stomach and bubble up your throat. they wait until you aren’t looking to move.

do you do what they say? if you do that then maybe they’ll stop terrorizing you! they’ll leave you alone and you’ll spend the rest of your day worry-free. right?

wrong! everyone has demons! they don’t stop! but guess what? theyre not as strong as you think they are. don’t give in to them! they’ll invite their friends and by then you’ll have a real problem. demons breed demons. don’t feed the demons.

so what do you do? you can’t stop them and you can’t give in to them. should you fight? you could try that. you could try ignoring them too. i’m not really sure yet honestly. i know you shouldn’t feed them though. i’ve found ignoring them to be the easiest option, but it doesn’t kill them. so maybe it is a good idea to fight? fighting makes me tired, but the demons aren’t as strong as you think. tackling one or two a day shouldn’t be too hard and then i could take off weekends.

but wait, let me tell you that fighting the demons isnt a risk-free option. be prepared to lose to them every once in a while. but if they get you down, dont stay there. get right the fuck back up. finish the fight if you can or go home and take a nap to regain strength but dont just sit there in the dirt feeling defeated. never do that because you’re a fighter. life isn’t fair. everyone has demons and we’re all fighting our own battles.

so don’t judge people so harshly because you don’t know their battle. maybe their demon of the day is a level 2 maybe its a level 20. we all have good hearts and we all have demons. some of us have fallen for the demons and their tricks and that’s why we do bad things. the demons want to disrupt the universes cycle. i’m fighting them because i want to protect myself and everyone else. we’re all one

[sweetnestor]

crankgameplays outlast 2 stream 4/28/17

(((missed it again bc i was on the road uGH)))((i’m mostly jotting down ethans comments while playing the game rather than the game itself)

“I’m not slightly late its 9:29” (hello to you too ethan)

“Let me know if the volumes good” -new single buy it on itunes (he sang that for a good minute)

Turns off lights to make things more scary :o

He hasnt been able to record for the last couple of days, so he decided to stream 

Hes talking a lot softer bc its night and he ‘shouldnt’ be recording apparently

“Ohh ohh tiiiitties” -ethan zooming in on lynn’s boobs :p

“It’s 6:07 guys you know what that fuckin means” (what does it mean ethan??)

*hallway floods with blood* | “oh wonderful, wonderful” :)

He feels weird and unnatural to be talking so softly as opposed to his usual loudness

*dies one second into the game* :))))

He’s not scared of the jumpscares at all this time around :o

Ppl in the chat telling him to look at the tapes | “*heavy sigh* okay,,,, gee whilikers,,,,”

“That didnt do nothin for me”

Blake: oh this is fucked up | ethan: wait why is this fucked up *sees dead bodies* oh oh yeah,,,,,

“My name is mike yuckerton and welcome to the zoooo,,,,,, what the fuck am i talking about”

*gets attacked, doesnt really fight back or run* “oh wait… oh wait i dont think my balls were supposed to be taken from me,,,,,”

“How come i cant like,,, beat her up with that shovel,,,”

“Its 2017, this guys gotta have a phone, there has to be lte up here…”

*running scene* “Ok ok we gotta go fast,,,, like senick” (he said it like that idk how to articulate it) :p

His grossed out face when he was ‘licked’ in the game was priceless

Ethan ran into ethan :D

“...you missed me…” -ethan after watching ethan get killed

“Poor ethan you had a cool name and everything”

*saves and quits game*

I just noticed hes wearing his own merch like a neRD (im jk he should be proud to wear his merch :’))

Wasnt super impressed by the game so far, maybe bc he’s stressed or something

Likes his new apartment, only limit is recording bc he cant be too loud at night

Has yet to get acoustic walls for recording set up, they got damaged in the mail apparently so now he gotta wait even longer :/

Also says he needs a haircut :/

Hes yawning a lot poor bby must be tired :(

He got tickets to dodie!! She dm’d him and said she could get him in :)

Put on that one tune he usually plays in the streams bc ppl were asking

Teamiplier livestream tomorrow!!

Hes probably gonna continue streaming outlast 2, not sure if he’ll actually finish it, but he does want to give it a chance

Talks about how much he really loved resident evil 7

There was a point while recording it where he had to take a break bc it was so unsettling

Played paranormal activity vr game, but he got really motion sick so he couldn’t record it :/

Thanked everyone for coming and hoped they had a wonderful time

Feels bad that he hasnt gotten a video out this week  :(

And with that, the boy is off to bed