#(also thank you to renata for the brainstorm our sybils are a beautiful mess and i love them so)

[aventvrina]

Was talking with @zorkaya as we're plotting and it finally gave me the push to put into words my thoughts on how Aventurine views his past.

It's not that he denies it's impact or that he's ashamed of it. He doesn't try to cover anything on himself that tips off just what he went through, neither his eyes nor the commodity brand are hidden except for his left hand when he's making a risky gamble. With that said though, I don't feel that he's very forthcoming about it either.

Sure, there's allusions and assumptions that can be made if people know the background situation of Sigonia-IV and the fact that the Avgin's are essentially extinct, however, if asked directly about it (unless under duress like when Sunday made him face Xipe's judgement) he would most likely give half truths. He wouldn't deny but wouldn't confirm either.

It is my headcanon that he's not as transparent about his time in Sigonia-IV not because of trauma but because of guilt. He was powerless and helpless, a spectator to atrocities while being encouraged to flee instead of taking arms. Though I don't think he feels regret since he was following his sister's plea, he does feel guilt for doing nothing.

In fact, I think he believes his "past" starts on the day he killed the slave owner. It was the first time he took life into his own hands and stopped being a passive actor under destiny's hand. The action of survival stopped being an action the moment he was forced to kill those slaves for the sole reason of testing his value, this was the turning point for him as he saw himself become more than a simple commodity. Avgin's always repay their blood debts.

On this note also, the line delivered by his sister is extremely poignant given that the clan truly believed they could repay the massacre with the IPC's help. Sadly we don't know the state of the Katican's to understand if they were indeed executed after committing massive genocide or if they are still in the desert. There's only mentions of Avgin's being made martyrs for the Amber Lord, but the Interstellar Peace Broadcast does state that the hammer of Preservation will fall on all beings, so it was publicly condemned just probably not acted upon.

Developing this string a little more, on his in game character story he mentions people who helped him and this is also a very telling line. Given that Avgin's have very specific easily identifiable features and that they were extinct, it makes sense for the IPC to try to cover his survival by moving him out of the planet and selling him into slavery. If news of a survivor were known he'd be protected but the Avgin extinction was a deliberate act in the name of Preservation so they couldn't let a single soul surface. On this currently unidentified planet, he was possibly helped by some people after killing the slave owner and those might be the ones who he's mentioning. Whether they died for helping him or for other circumstances it's unclear at the moment but it adds to his blood debt towards the IPC.

It's by no coincidence that he chose to appeal to Diamond, not just because he accepted talent regardless of origin, but also because of his direct opposition towards Oswaldo Schneider. The Ten Stonehearts are regarded as outsiders in the IPC, a near independent movement that feels like a small army loyal to Diamond alone. Diamond definitely has his own agenda within the IPC (also fascinating that he is an Emanator given that only P48'S should have that ability but I'll discuss that later) and that passes by preventing Oswaldo from rising to the board seat like him which is perfect for Aventurine.

I went on a tangent here, but this was all to say that Aventurine would sooner talk about the blood on his hands than on his soul because he feels humiliated to have been so passive on such a decisive moment of his life.