#(also my body is in tremendous i s c o m f o r t because of my approaching period and i feel like dying lol)

[tardis--dreams]

Fuck yes the caretaker finally came and installed my new smoke detecor. I can finally feel free in my apartment again

[sassytrickster666]

NSFW Alphabet:Hans Landa

GIFS are NOT mine, credit goes to original owners/makers. If you see one of yours and would like it credited please Message me. Thanks! <3

Also the idea of an nsfw alphabet is not mine either but idk where it started so same goes for this. Dont like dont read! Not here for the drama!

A = Aftercare

Most of the time he has other business to attend to so there isn’t much time for aftercare.

If he doesn’t have to go, he’ll wipe most of the evidence away and kiss some of the harsher bruises he left. After this he’ll lay back down and tell you you’ve been a good girl. Sometimes, he’ll pull you closer so that your head rests on his shoulder and his arm is wrapped around you.

B= Body part

Generally speaking he has a thing for your face, especially your eyes. Of those he can read you ; emotions, thoughts. He likes to know everything.

Whether you’re annoyed, nervous or happy during the day and whether you’re pleasured during the night.

When it comes to his own body, he would have to say his mind. It’s what helped him accomplish all that he did will do in the future.

C= Cum

Hans loves cumming on you, as it shows you’re his and you submitting to him.

He likes cumming on your breasts and stomach most. Second to those are your mouth and pussy. It gives him the feeling of ownership.

D= Dirty Secret

His secret is that sometimes, he is in a bit of a different mood (this started happening after the war). This is when he wants to hand the control over to you, do your bidding and feel small. What he enjoys the most, then, is having you ride his face and control his breathing. He gets turned on when you call him things ranging from milder words as ‘bad’ and ‘naughty’ to ‘pathetic nazi pig’. He has no idea where this comes from and frankly, is embarrassed by it.

E = Experience

Considering his age he would have his fair share of experience. However, the last couple of years he’d been completely absorbed by work, referring to his rank and nickname, and thus he’s a little rusty. At first he had his doubts about approaching you because of this. Later he had zero problems making you come the hardest you did in ages.

F = Favourite Position

It’s usually described this way:

You’re bent over on your knees and he’s behind you like in doggy style. Only he’s pulling you up by your hair, neck or upper body so your back touches his chest.

G = Goofy

Believe me, he is as unpredictable in bed as he is during the day. One moment he can be kissing you while being 100% serious and the next giggling while trying to clip off your stockings. Never quite knowing what to expect certainly provides an extra thrill.

H = Hair

He doesn’t like feeling dirty and has the time and the means to keep it exactly the way he feels most comfortable : bald.

He prefers for his partner not to be completely hairless, it would make him feel like being with a non-adult.

I= Intimacy

For one, it always takes Hans a long time to trust someone regardless of the situation. So he’s usually on edge anyways. However, once you earned his trust he started treating you a little different than before. He was never particularly abusive or mean towards you but now he dared to be softer with you. For example, he would proudly take you to formal events, reach for your hand. At times, softly trust into you while kissing and caressing you. The point is: once he trusts you he’d dare show another side of himself, a sweeter side that would involve lingering kisses, more tender caresses and a protective arm around your waist when going out. As if anyone would dare harass Landa’s girl anyways. And once he really goes for something, nobody better get in his way. Because he isn’t afraid of letting others know you’re his and anyone who would like to dispute that will get cut.

J = Jack-off

Hans wouldn’t jack off often, but when he does he takes his time. Whenever he’d been extremely busy or someone has been getting on his nerves particularly much he does it to blow off some steam. Would not look good if a colonel would blow out the brains of a bratty luitenant, would it?

So when he comes home and you’re away, he runs a nice warm bath, carefully undresses, put his folded clothes away on a shelf and let himself sink into the warm water. Then he would sigh and savour the moment. He would close his eyes and imagine you with him in a different setting. Your eyes, your smile, your curves, the way you would kiss him and how he would hold your body against his. Slowly he would trail his hands from his chest to his thighs to tease himself. He would imagine it your soft touch, both nude on a warm summers  night. Your breasts bouncing slightly as you get on your knees. Looking up at him teasingly as you’d kiss his upper thighs.

Then he would stop teasing himself and start caressing his now rockhard cock, grunting softly. He would imagine the wonderful feeling of your mouth on him, how you would lick and suck him and try to swallow him whole as he’d speed up his hand. He’d imagine how your full lips would look outstretched on his cock, how you would moan softly as he’d tug on your hair, the vibrations almost immediately sending him over the edge.

Then Hans would use his free hand to tease his sack. At this point he would eagerly speed up his ministrations until he’d spill his seed, moaning your name and imagining seeing it disappear into your eager mouth.

K = Kink

Oh, my sweet summer child, if you haven’t figured that Hans is one kinky motherf***** yet, brace yourself. So here’s some of his kinks in a row:

-Bondage, using cuffs or ropes. Depending on his mood whether he’d be the one restrained. (Being restrained often goes with the degrading of D=Dirty Secret).

-Public sex. He loves teasing you in a public setting. it starts quite innocently with a hand on your knee or thigh, but you know that before dinner with his colleagues and their partners ends, you’ll have come at least twice. Either by him fingerfucking you under the table or him dragging you off to some broom closet or deserted office. He enjoys it most when you play with him, teasing him too. This is related to the fact that he loves the control and domination he usually has by simply walking into a room.

-Roleplay, he loves being versatile. His favourite scenarios include (cheesy, right?) nurse/patient, priest/churchgoer and teacher/student.

-Dear Hans is usually a Dom, which means that he totally gets off on you calling him ‘sir’, ‘mr. Landa, sir’ or by his official rank. He loves spanking your ass while you call him that, too.

L= Location

Though he thoroughly enjoys making you his in a public place, he definitely prefers the confines of his home. Here, you can both be as loud as you want and take your time.

M = Motivation

Pretty much anything can get him turned on and you like to tease him for it. The sheer knowledge of what kind of underwear you’re wearing, a look you give him or a simple touch. Whenever he draws a quick breath through his nose, and on occasions looks away you know exactly whats up.

N = No

Truly hurting you, mentally or physically. He simply cares too much about you to do that. They may call him a monster and he’s accepted he might be one and that’s a part of him. But even he could never hurt the woman his heart belongs to.

O = Oral

Honestly, he loves it, the anticipation, when you sink down on your knees before him. Knowing that soon you will take him in your mouth and working to take as much as possible. Actually, it’s the kitten licks you give his cock and balls before you do so that kill him. The view of you is simply too beautiful.

As to giving oral, Hans Landa does nothing half-assed. He loves propping your thighs on your shoulders and giving you love bites on them and your hips, marking you, showing who you belong to. He just gets enthusiastic about it. At times it seems he turns it into a game of how many times he can make you scream his name. One of his favourite moves is doing so slowly and suddenly sucking your clit hard into his mouth.

P = Pace

The pace would depend mostly on his mood as he doesn’t really have a preference. He does tremendously enjoy suddenly changing his pace. For example, when you are having a slow, intimate moment and, out of the blue, starting a brutal pace that makes your eyes roll back.

Q = Quickie

The reason that quickies rarely happen is that Hans is usually way too loud for him and that the last thing he would want is for the two of you to be caught. One, because it might compromise his authority and two; because your body is for his eyes only and he wouldn’t want to bring you into a position where you could be disrespected or embarrassed.

Though, the ones that do happen are legendary; the time in the office bent over his desk, the one in the broom closet at the busy restaurant.

R = Risk

Hans looooooves to experiment. It’s just so exciting to try out new stuff! He’s usually shameless with telling you what he’d like to try, though would never push you. In turn, he is quite open minded when you bring something up.

S = Stamina

Though he’s usually good for one round (occasionally a second), and he does like to make it count. He lasts up to a good twenty minutes, but it can vary a bit depending on how much you’ve teased him.

T = Toys

Apart from the stuff used to restrain someone, none, really. He doesn’t feel there’s any needed and neither do you.

U = Unfair

He loves teasing you, but is not patient enough himself to drag it out. He also likes being teased, to an extent.

V = Volume

One of the main reasons he prefers fucking at home. Thats where he doesn’t have to worry about anyone hearing too much. This man almost never shuts up and that’s evident during sex as well. And damn he’s loud . He moans, groans and is definitely a dirty talker. Speaks solely German when he does too.

His favourite sound of yours is either a whimper or the strangled sound you make when a moan gets caught in your throat.

W = Wild Card

He loves calling you nicknames and it’s kinda cute. Usually Schatz or meine Liebe. Next to that he really enjoys it when he comes home in the afternoon and you greet him with a kiss and some coffee after. It makes him feel fuzzy. Its strange.

It makes him think that maybe someday he could make you his forever. Get married or even have a family.

Beside that, he totally crumbles if he finds that you happen to be wearing a housemaids like outfit. Like i said, he’s a sucker for roleplay.

X = X-Ray

He’s quite long,of average thickness, veiny, and crooked very nicely so that when he thrusts into you it’s just too easy for him to hit your G-spot.

Y = Yearning

As there are so many things that can turn him on, his yearning is pretty high. If he gets the chance he’ll definitely make you his once or twice a day.

Z = Zzz

After sex, Hans is usually awake for longer than you, and usually just lays and enjoys the moment. However, when he does fall asleep he tends to end up laying on his side next to you, breathing in your scent and holding your waist.

[chanzicoup]

NSFW A-Z (Monsta X Shownu)

A/N: I got this template from chantenyongs and I could not find the original creator to give proper credit to.

A = Aftercare

Very sweet and loving. Pillow talk, hand holding, and cute gazes from this teddy bear. If neither of you are too tired he'd pop in a movie and cuddle up to you, being the strong bodied fellow he is many would think he is the big spoon, they were wrong.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part is probably his biceps because he's ripped but he likes the size difference between the two of you. Going off of that he loves your shoulders/ your body shape because he thinks you're perfect in every way.

C = Cum

He doesn't like the idea of "marking you" with his cum so he's the kind of guy to cum inside but wearing a condom and hoping for the best.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He's a sweetheart in bed and likes to be on top but the one thing he can't bring himself to ask you to do would be to call him sir. Not daddy, not master, sir.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

(If my memory serves me right) He's never dated before or has dated only a few people so I can see him being the one of the least experienced members of monsta x but he knows the bare minimum you learn in sex ed. Everything he knows probably comes from watching porn or trying new things with you.

F = Favorite position

Missionary is the way to go with Shownu, he wants to please you in any way possible while still towering over you. If you wanted to try a new position he'd be a bit nervous about it due to the fact that he's a bit out of practice in a way yet he wouldn't say no if you really wanted to do it.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Nothing is serious with him unless you to are zoning in and out due to pleasure but during foreplay and the beginning you'll both hopefully be comfortable enough to exchange teasing yet funny words without ruining the mood you two have going on.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)

He forgets to shave so hopefully you're okay with a little hair. If it really bothers you he'd make tremendous effort into fixing it for you. He wouldn't mind being shaved or not because he generally has no opinion so he'll do whatever pleases you more and just go with it.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He treasures you the most and you are the best thing that's ever happened to him and while he tries his best to show you that on a regular basis he goes into double time when things get heated romantically.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)

I can see him waiting until you two meet again to initiate sex. He'd feel wrong jerking off with out you there with him and yes he's needy but he won't feel the same way when you aren't there with him.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Size difference kink. It doesn't matter how big or small you are but the thing that makes Shownu go mad is your body in general and he can't get enough of you.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Unlike Taeyong Shownu would never go out in public even if you wanted to. He wouldn't even do it on the couch because then every time he looks at the couch he pictures you having sex so when someone he knows sits down on it he cringes so hard. His favorite place besides the bed would be the shower because then you two wouldn't need to shower after sex.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Once he's hard it doesn't go down until he's tired out so I guess the thing that will keep him going is the thought of sex and coming undone at the same time as you and spending time with you afterwards.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Lol he wouldn't let you top for your life even if you seriously wanted to.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Shownu is a dom, this is agreed upon by my friends and I, and therefor loves having his tongue inside of you but would prefer it being you sucking him off for no reason, he just like it!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

During sex he's pretty uneven with his pace but it'll depend on how he's feeling and how much you move with him. If he has a lot of energy that day prepare for a looonnnngg evening honey.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Nope. No way, not gonna happen. He's not into it and he'd probably be too busy or pretend he was busy until you two got home. This correlates with the reasoning of why he wouldn't masturbate without you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Since he's relatively new to the sex world in my mind he's definitely okay with experimenting. At first you'll have to suggest enw things to try and over time he'd throw in a suggestion or two.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Shownu may tire out fast but he wouldn't leave you still needy so he'll try his best to satisfy your needs before he's too tired.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He's pretty vanilla so far and in that perspective I can't see him having any toys. Maybe he'll have blindfolds or vibrators but he'll never use them and they'd take up space in his drawers next to boxes of condoms. Everything is so minimal it fits in his underwear drawer.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He knows that it takes about thirteen minutes for a woman to be fully ready for penetrative sex so he'd tease for a good twenty minutes for good measure. He would not complain about it either, sometimes he gets out of hand and goes for thirty minutes and he doesn't even realize it until you give him the signal you two came up with yourselves.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

His moans would be hidden be either kissing you or burrowing his head into your shoulder or chest out of instinct. Hopefully you two are alone in the house because if he is "preoccupied" he wouldn't bother to be quiet.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Besides vanilla sex I can see Shownu being down for having sex in front of a mirror in the bathroom.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's longer than average but not as wide???

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He can go 0 to a 100 real quick at any time.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Has a lot of variables controlling how tired he is so it can both two ways. 1) Passes out right after cumming or 2) Going for a jog afterwards because damn it's three a.m and he's wide awake but has to go to work at seven.

~Blake