#(after we handed out a questionnaire to parents/teachers)

[carma-tjol]

potential adhd diagnosis arc? hello??

[piilokarsastus]

Make me admit stuff?

Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Given that that's my 60+ year-old orchestration teacher, I'm gonna have to say no

You talked to an ex today, correct? incorrect

Have you taken someones virginity? can we just talk about how funny it is that we describe the act of having sex for the first time as "taking" someone's virginity? like you just. yoink that shit. it's mine now.

Is trust a big issue for you? idk i don't think so

Did you hang out with the person you like recently? I haven't liked anyone in a while

What are you excited for? I have been quietly gnawing at the bars of my enclosure for about 2 years waiting for the next Deltarune chapters to release. Apparently they're going to be out pretty soon!!

What happened tonight? nothing, as usual

Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? who wrote this a fucking mormon?

Is confidence cute? yeah it can be

What is the last beverage you had? water

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? The opposite of non-binary is binary so... about 3. Actually make that 11, since you seem to love binary so damn much (math joke woooo *crowd goes wild*)

Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? no

What are you gonna do Saturday night? nothing significant probably

What are you going to spend money on next? food most likely

Are you going out with the last person you kissed? not anymore

Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? doubtful but one can hope

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? there's one friend i guess

The last time you felt broken? about a year ago

Have you had sex today? no

Are you starting to realize anything? i'm beginning to think it's really difficult for me to develop feelings for someone. like unless we get to hang out as friends first without any kind of dating pressure it's just not gonna happen. it's either that or the fact that i rarely get matches from the people i'm most interested in

Are you in a good mood? not particularly

Would you ever want to swim with sharks? yeah why not? they're so smooth after all

Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? closer to my mum's

What do you want right this second? to sleep, apparently

What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? there's no one at the moment

Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yes. weirdly that is a question i get quite often

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? unlikely

What was the last thing that made you laugh? some funny cat video on tiktok probably

Do you really, truly miss someone right now? not really

Does everyone deserve a second chance? very ambiguous question but probably not

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? no...? i'm beginning to think i'm not the target demographic for this questionnaire

Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? there's no one

Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? yes actually. funny you should ask that

Listening to? nothing at the moment

Do you ever write in pencil anymore? sometimes. it's the only type of pen i use when i write by hand but that's not something i do every day

Do you know where the last person you kissed is? at home sleeping probably? idk we don't talk anymore

Do you believe in love at first sight? ehh i guess not. there's attraction at first sight but love takes time

Who did you last call? i try to avoid making phone calls as much as i can but i think it was my mum

Who was the last person you danced with? can't even remember if i've danced at all since high school? it's just not something i do

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? seggs

When was the last time you ate a cupcake? come to think of it, i'm not sure i've ever eaten one

Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no

Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? haven't we all

Do you tan in the nude? i don't tan

If you could, would you take back your last kiss? no

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? no

Who was the last person to call you? some salesman probably, didn't check the number

Do you sing in the shower? not exactly but i have come to realise the walls in my shower naturally resonate in D major

Do you dance in the car? out of all the places i could think to dance in, a car would probably be one of the worst choices

Ever used a bow and arrow? yes. if you haven't, you didn't have a childhood. i don't make the rules.

(the numbering got fucked up after this point and i can't seem to be able to change it)

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? about two years ago

Do you think musicals are cheesy? yes, as they should

Is Christmas stressful? not really. i don't really have to organise anything but sometimes it can be stressful to think of good gifts

Ever eat a pierogi? i think so

Favorite type of fruit pie? apple i guess. i don't eat a lot of pies

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? royal prince, actor, designer, lawyer, author (in that order)

Do you believe in ghosts? no

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? yes

Take a vitamin daily? apparently not but thanks for reminding

Wear slippers? no

Wear a bath robe? are these questions or suggestions?

What do you wear to bed? underwear and/or pyjamas

First concert? no idea, probably fröbelin palikat or some shit like that

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? K-supermarket supremacy

Nike or Adidas? there are few things in life i care about less than sportswear

Cheetos Or Fritos? never had either but i despise all juustonaksus so fritos it is

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? peanuts

Favorite Taylor Swift song? i'm proud to say i can't name any off the top of my head

Ever take dance lessons? no

Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? i can hardly imagine myself having a spouse at this point

Can you curl your tongue? yes

Ever won a spelling bee? we don't have those. it would be an extremely pointless competition in Finnish

Have you ever cried because you were so happy? i don't think i have

What is your favorite book? i don't have a favourite

Do you study better with or without music? without

Regularly burn incense? no

Ever been in love? yes

Who would you like to see in concert? Robert Levin

What was the last concert you saw? a contemporary music concert in my home town

Hot tea or cold tea? if, by cold, you mean ice tea, then that. if you mean regular tea that's been refrigerated for some ungodly reason, then hot

Tea or coffee? tea

Favorite type of cookie? mansikkadomino

Can you swim well? reasonably

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? if you can't i don't have high hopes for your education

Are you patient? yes

DJ or band, at a wedding? band

Ever won a contest? yes. not anything significant

Ever have plastic surgery? no

Which are better black or green olives? green

Opinions on sex before marriage? hell yeah

Best room for a fireplace? designated fireplace room

Do you want to get married? not necessarily. could be fun to experience love sometime in my adult life but marriage is not a requirement for that

[lilchicknugg]

to commemorate me being on tumblr heres a questionnaire i filled out a few months ago!

Rules: Complete the form by answering each section truthfully. Once you’ve finished, tag other users to complete the task. Begin by sourcing the person who tagged you.

Have you ever…

Been cheated on: never gave anyone the chance to

Kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t had my first kiss yet but i’d probably only kiss someone i was already comfortable around

Drank hard liquor: once

Been drunk and thrown up: i’ve never gotten drunk but after drinking tequila for the first time i threw up later in the night (i’m allergic to alcohol)

Met someone who changed you: probably my two friends who i met in the 6th grade who taught me to break rules for the first time. i was always scared to disobey authority figures (parents and teachers) in my life but after meeting them i was able to find who i really was and grow into myself. they also taught me that its LOTS of fun breaking the rules.

Fallen out of love: i have never fallen in love (in another reality, i would love to tho)

Found out who your true friends are: yes—my sisters are my closest friends

Lost glasses: nope, i take very good care of my things

Sex on the first date: no. i would only have sex the night i get married.

Been arrested: i’m not cool enough for that

Turned someone down: kind of? he asked if he could get to know me better and the idea alone made me want to cry forever so i stood up for myself for once and told him i didn’t have time for that. it wasn’t technically a lie since i was extremely stressed about college applications and all he wanted to do was talk about college plans.

Fallen for a friend: i don’t really have guy friends

What was your…

Last drink: lipton iced tea

Last text message: “x men first class guys”. i texted it to a group chat with my sisters and cousin since we were trying to find a movie for movie tonight. P.S. i love x-men!! first class might be my favorite but i haven’t finished the entire saga yet since i’m trying to go through it slowly. the last x-men movie i saw was x-men apocalypse which a pretty good movie too!

More questions…

Do you have any pets: nope but i hope to someday own a fish, bunny and or german shepherd. my sisters have had lots of pets though. they had a bunny, guinea pig, pug and beagle. the bunny and guinea pig have long passed away but the pug and beagle are still alive and are currently residing in our farm. it’s a real farm btw not the kind of the farm that parents tell their kids they put their pets in whey they die.

What did you do for your last birthday party: i went to a cafe with my two friends for breakfast then my family and i went to a restaurant for dinner. the best part was when my sister and i both made our own birthday cakes and blew out candles before midnight!

Name something you cannot wait for: the graham effect by elle kennedy! there aren’t many details yet but im assuming its a book about the children of hannah wells and garrett graham from the deal which is one of my all time favorite books.

What irritates you: when people touch my things/ move it from its rightful spot

Nickname(s): meg (i severely dislike it and told everyone not to call me that but no one listened)

Relationship status: single! since birth!

Favorite TV show: vampire diaries, smallville, gossip girl and rick and morty

High School: oro christian grace school

College: ateneo de manila university (truthfully, i hope to transfer school soon)

Hair Color + Length: dyed brown hair! around mid-boob length

Height: 5’2” (im ok with it)

Your crush: ryke meadows

Tattoos: none. i don’t know if i want one though, i change my mind too much to commit to something permanent on my body

Right or left-handed: right

Any surgeries: never

Any piercings: one piercing on each ear. i have gold diamond earrings i’ve been wearing since the 7th grade but i really wish they were silver

Favorite sport: none but hopefully i get into ballet soon

First vacation: hong kong? i don’t remember what we did but i know we used to go there a lot when my sisters and i were younger. though if i were to guess, we probably went to disneyland and stayed in marco polo hotel.

What do you like…

Hugs or kisses: hugs i think

Shorter or taller: taller for sure. ideally someone around 5’10”.

Older or younger: older but not too much older i guess. maybe 5 years older would be the cut off.

July 2, 2023 (Sunday) 4:04 AM

[unhonestlymirror]

Okay, so, talking about my bsfs, who used to be a little like Nanami or Gojo (I didn't even know we were bsfs until we graduated from school lmao)

The first one - let's name him G - had wealthy parents, terrifying hyperactivity, an endless supply of dick jokes, a lot of prizes in ballroom dancing competitions and a surly, slightly asshole and narrow-eyed friend (we'll call him N and come back to him later).

His mom (a nice person) knew my mom enough to consider me - a terribly calm child - worthy of sitting next to her terribly hyperactive son. She was worried that his teachers were tearing their hair out every time he opened his mouth and - idk, maybe she thought that I could calm him down. Which was pretty naive.

Because G, at some point realizing that I wasn’t going to inform teachers about his every sneeze, "went crazy, went stupid". He did a lot of things but I remember either how he emotionally commented on some shooting games, or crumbled the chalk with a lyre and inhaled the tracks, or cheated from his brand new tablet right during the test and right in front of the teacher, or turned on pornography (not loud enough for teacher to hear but enough for me to hear).

And it was every time I had to answer. It was unbearable. Unbearable to hold back laughter while you have to tell about the spelling rule for apostrophes or the structure of the electron shell or some other stuff, looking the teacher straight in the eyes.

At some point, most teachers thought that I started to lose my mind have a burnout. Most felt sorry for me: "How can anybody sit at the same desk with such a disgustingly naughty boy, this child is a hero". It felt nice to agree with them but still it wasn’t entirely true. We practically didn't communicate, except for the fact that G constantly tested me for strength, and I constantly strengthened my ability to keep a face. And jokes about dicks.

Now he works as a fashion model - and fortunately, I no longer have to hold back my laughter because G has turned from a pale-faced, shaggy and slightly gay boy into a homeless Latino. Hope he's ok now.

As was mentioned earlier, he had a surly, slightly asshole and narrow-eyed friend. Let's call him N. Slightly asshole because I still can't forget how the school psychologist handed out anonymous questionnaires to everyone, in which there was a question: "Who do you consider the most boring in the team" - and he wrote me in. It is worth adding that at the same time I entered N in the same column, so i guess we are anti-soulmates. The psychologist quit soon after.

Also he once took my place just for fun. Rightly judging that he was unlikely to do anything to me while balancing in the boss position, I decided to stand just in front of him until he leaves. A little cringy but generally the right decision because the teacher came and asked why the best student in the class was standing as some sort of lagging, not blinking NPC. My cringe signals reached N and he vacated the table with compassion.

But in general, he was pretty good at math. One day, he suddenly began proving to me that some theorem was wrong, and I was so confused I didn't notice how classmate K took a picture of us on the sly. She posted it on Instagram without permission with some dubious postscript and I had a fight with her (she thought that since I didn't have a smartphone, I wouldn't look through my classmates profiles using my computer).

I don't know what's going on with N now because even his avatar is missing from his Instagram profile. It makes me a little confused that he still likes my pictures but I'm glad he's alive.

By the way, he wore suits with ties. Which was a little out of step in comparison with his rare but even more terrifying dick jokes.

[jlalafics]

Hey can you do an everlark fake dating please🥺🥺

Anon, I’m sure you were looking for something a little more romantic than what I came up with. There is romance, but there’s some other stuff too.

Thank you for inspiring this four-parter. I hope you enjoy!

_____

Summary: Peeta needed a date for his brother’s wedding. His co-worker Katniss was more than willing to play along. Sometimes, simple favors can turn into so much more. A fake dating story done in four parts. Rated E. Definitely NSFW.

A Simple Favor

The Invite

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Peeta gawked at the frilly invitation in his grasp, then at the attached list of activities.

Three days.

Three fucking days of wedding activities to torture him.

“Can we tone down the cursing?” Katniss, his co-worker, sat down at her desk adjacent to his. “This is a place of business.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you had to go to this.”

Peeta swiveled his chair, tossing the invitation onto Katniss’ desk. It landed smoothly atop her keyboard and she reached to read the perfect calligraphy print announcing the upcoming nuptials of Rye Mellark to Delly Cartwright.

She turned back to Peeta. “Yeah…so?”

“Look who’s the Maid of Honor.”

Katniss looked to the right part of the invitation which listed the wedding party.

Her grey eyes suddenly shot up at him. “Oh, holy fuck! Is that her?”

“Yeah. It’s hard to look at her name and not still see her sucking off my best friend.”

Katniss snorted. “Yeah—that’s not an image even I would likely forget.” She examined the invitation again. “Gawd, even her name is pretty. Madge Undersee.”

“Don’t remind me,” Peeta growled, yanking the invitation from her grasp. “Who plans three days of pre-wedding activities?”

“Your brother and his affianced, apparently.” Katniss gave him a sympathetic smile. “You think she’ll bring him?”

“According to my brother, they’re officially together now.”

Peeta never used to be this bitter.

However, two years ago, that irrevocably changed when he discovered his then-fiancée on her knees and giving his best friend a blowie—on his bed. Madge had wept, of course, telling him that it had just happened.

And Gale…he had begged for Peeta to understand that it wasn’t just sex…that he felt something more for Madge.

How the hell was he supposed to understand that?

Peeta had packed his things and immediately left the apartment that he and his best friend had been living in—let the fucker deal with the astronomical Bay Area rent on his own.

He then accepted a job at Panem Projects, a Brooklyn based start-up created by tech mogul Haymitch Abernathy. The uber-genius had invented an app that allowed you to search for specific non-profits and charities that one may be interested in contributing to.

On Peeta’s first day, he met Katniss Everdeen, who was part of the QA department he was in. She was a supervisor while he was just one of the lowly engineers.

They had been sitting across from one another ever since.

“That sucks.” Katniss sat back, crossing her legs, as she watched him carefully. “Did you want to get wasted after work?”

++++++

It was at their fifth round of shots that the idea came about.

“I can’t go to this.” Peeta held the invitation, now beer-stained and being used as a coaster for their peanut bowl. “It’s basically a three-day Peeta Mellark roast!”

“Yeah, and a wedding,” Katniss replied. She leaned forward, her cheeks warmed from booze. “You know what you need? A date to this God-awful event. Not just any date, a hot date.”

“Here’s the problem, sweetheart,” he replied. “I’m not dating anyone.”

“It doesn’t have to be a real date,” she reasoned. “Find a great-looking chick who’d be willing to spend three days looking like she worships your cock. Isn’t this what those dating apps are for?”

“I don’t want a stranger around my family!” He reached for the beer bottle in front of him—was this even his? “That’s how those Netflix crime specials come about.”

Katniss chuckled. “Okay. Understandable.” She met his glazed stare. “I’ll do it.”

“What?”

“I said I’ll go with you,” Katniss declared. “I’ll be your hot date.”

Peeta took a long swig. “Uh…no offense Katniss…you’re definitely pretty…but hot?”

“I have been known to dress up once in a while.”

He looked at his friend; her dark hair was in its usual braid and she wore a pair of fitted jeans along with a zip-up with the Panem Projects logo on it—some sort of fiery bird. On her feet were a pair of Converses that had seen better days.

“You’re really know how to make a girl feel desired,” Katniss told him. “I can’t think of any possible reason why Madge would dump you.”

“Hey now! That’s hitting below the belt!”

“Well, you don’t think I can be hot!” she retorted. “Give me your phone!”

Peeta, in fear of his life, pulled out his phone from the pocket of his jeans and handed it to the woman.

Katniss picked up the invitation with her free hand and started to type with the other.

“Katniss…Motherfucking…Everdeen…” She handed the phone back to him. “I’ve RSVP’d for you and added myself as your plus one.”

He looked at the browser window and then back at a smirking Katniss.

“You actually wrote ‘Katniss Motherfucking Everdeen’ as my date’s name.” Peeta had to smile. “My mother is going to love that.”

“She’s going to love me,” Katniss assured him. “She and everyone else at this wedding is going to forget who the hell Madge Undersee is after I’m done with them.”

Peeta had to ask. “Why are you doing this?”

“I know how it feels to be taken by surprise.” She was suddenly staring very hard at the dirty bar table they sat at. “Plus, you’re my friend and we take care of each of other.” Her eyes met his, her own looking like she was on the verge of breaking. “Right?”

Peeta reached over and squeezed her hand. “Right.”

++++++

“Okay, so I have prepared a portfolio of myself.” Katniss presented him with a closed folder. “Childhood photos…likes and dislikes…just some general information that a boyfriend should know.”

“34C?” Peeta eyed her doubtfully, briefly flitting to her white button down. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. You bought me a lovely dark green lingerie set for our last anniversary.” Katniss pulled out a piece of paper. “Here is a little questionnaire that I’ve made for you, just for me to know you a little better.”

Peeta skimmed over the questions. Most of them were pretty general; where he was born, his parents’ and his brother’s name as well as their ages, his favorite foods…then—

“Why do you need to know if I’m circumcised?”

“If we have supposedly been together for about six months, shouldn’t we be having sex by now?” she questioned.

“True.” Peeta looked around the room. “Is it okay that we’re using a meeting room for this?”

Katniss shrugged. “The guys in IT use this room to play Pokémon every Friday.”

“Also, when are you going to do something about…” He waved his hand out at today’s outfit: a pair of black slacks, a white button down, and brown loafers. “…that.”

“Don’t you worry your perfect little blond self.” Katniss playfully ruffled his hair. “I didn’t realize that you were so fixated on looks.”

“You were the one who suggested ‘hot’,” he pointed out. “However, my parents, who are generally good people, can sometimes be judgmental. So besides being very smart and extremely accomplished—we’re going to have to show them how great you are on the outside.”

“Peeta, do my looks matter to you?” she suddenly asked. “I mean, do you think that I’m pretty?”

Katniss wasn’t what people would call conventionally beautiful.

Her hair was a single shade of black which could be a bit-frizzy on humid days, and her complexion was sun-kissed with a sprinkle of freckles on her cheeks. However, Peeta saw deep grey eyes that sparkled when she was particularly excited about something (pushing a new feature on their app, for example) and full rose-colored lips that needed no lipstick.

And when she smiled, everything about her just lit up.

“I think you’re beautiful,” he said truthfully. “I do worry that the people at this wedding won’t see you the way I see you.”

“Then that’s their fucking problem, isn’t it?” Katniss smiled gently. “We just have to make this look real. I think we can do this.” She pushed a pen towards him. “Now, fill your questionnaire out, okay?”

“Alright.” He reached for the pen and his eyes went to her. “Katniss?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

++++++

Two Weeks Later…

“Sister—Primrose…24…a nurse in Seattle…Mom…Kate…former teacher…Dad…Marcus…former General in the Army….”

As he waited for Katniss’ Uber to arrive, Peeta went through the flashcards that he and Katniss had created in order to get through the three days leading up to his brother’s wedding.

They had everything from their first date (a Harry Potter trivia night at a bar close to their office) to any distinguishable body marks (him—a scar on his knee from falling off his bike at 12 and her—surprisingly, a scar just above her left butt cheek from a tattoo removal procedure, though she wouldn’t tell him what the tattoo was).

“Peeta?”

He had been so distracted that he didn’t even hear the car pull up.

“Sorry.” He tucked the cards in his back pocket and lifted his eyes to greet her. “Hey…holy shit.”

This was not Katniss Everdeen.

Katniss Everdeen didn’t wear her dark hair down in smooth waves that framed a perfect heart-shaped face. She didn’t wear sleeveless black jumpsuits that revealed rich olive skin and plush breasts (she was definitely a 34C).

“You like?”

She did a little twirl for him, graceful despite the stilettos she wore.

And, Katniss definitely didn’t have an ass that made his mouth water.

The unbidden thought of biting into one of those full globes caused his cock to twitch in his now too tight jeans.

“I like.” Peeta gave her a smile. “Maybe a little too much.”

She looked triumphant. “Give you a boner?”

“Fuck yeah,” he replied, a tad breathless.

“Then I’ve done my job.” Katniss wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hello boyfriend.”

Her mouth covered his own and his arms encircled her waist, pulling her tightly against his body. She teased, nipping at his bottom lip, her tongue skimming his lips before pulling away. Something surged inside him and his tongue invaded her mouth, sweeping in to taste sweetness.

Katniss growled against him, her center pressing into his now definitely hard cock.

Reluctantly—because they had to either breathe or die during the world’s hottest kiss—they pulled apart.

“Why did you do that?” he asked, gasping for breath.

“Because we’re supposed to be in love.” Her chest heaved, her eyes just cooling down from their kiss. “And couples in love kiss like that.”

“I know no couples who kiss like that,” he told her, a smile unexpectedly forming on his lips. “But feel free to kiss me like that whenever you see fit.”

++++++

During their five-hour flight, they went over the wedding itinerary.

“I’ve had a stylist pull looks for us for all the fancier events,” Katniss explained. “Don’t worry, nothing looks like we’re trying too hard. We’ll be more complimentary to one another.”

“What would trying too hard look like?” Peeta asked curiously.

“Well, if your tie matched my dress for example.”

A flight attendant stopped in front of their seats. “What can I get you both?”

Katniss smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. “He will have…” Her fingers brushed against his ear lobe and he couldn’t help but shiver in pleasure. “…a cup of chamomile tea. I will have a coffee—”

“With milk and two sugars,” he breathed out, trying to smile up at the attendant.

“Thanks baby,” Katniss cooed at him, her hand brushing through his hair affectionately.

The woman quickly fixed their drinks, handing their cups to them one by one.

“Can I just say that you too are extremely adorable?” the flight attendant remarked.

Katniss put a hand to her chest.

“Thank you!” She looked to Peeta; her expression full of affection. “He’s just so easy to love.”

Peeta smiled tightly. “This is my dream girl…” He patted Katniss’ hand. “…right here.”

The flight attendant practically squealed before going to the next seats.

“You really could be a little bit more convincing,” Katniss remarked. “Maybe act like my touch doesn’t repulse you.”

“You don’t!” He shifted towards her. “In fact, it’s really the opposite.”

Katniss rested back against her seat. “Really?” She crossed her arms. “Convince me.”

Peeta unbuckled his seatbelt. Pressing the release button of the armrest, he pushed it up so there was no divider between them.

Katniss waited, obviously interested in what he was up to. He realized that their tray tables covered anything below the waist and his mouth widened in a grin.

“Tell me.” His hand went to her thigh. “What exactly are you wearing under this?” The fabric beneath his palm was smooth and he could feel a full firm thigh. He continued upwards towards the cleft between her thighs. “Are you even wearing underwear?”

Katniss’ arms fell to her side and she swallowed thickly. “I am.”

“And, if my hand found its way between your thighs—” His hand stopped just about an inch from her center and she let out a labored breath. “—if my fingers brushed against this practically non-existent cloth, would I find you wet?”

“Maybe,” she whispered.

Peeta leaned forward, his mouth going to her ear.

“Would you let me put my fingers to your clit? Let me rub you until you came all over this seat?” His pressed his mouth to the spot behind her ear and she shivered. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’d happily fill this cabin with the smell of sex if I fingered you into completion—”

“Stop—” Katniss gasped out, her hand covering the hand on her thigh. “I’m convinced.”

“Good.”

Peeta moved his hand away—but not before quickly brushing the tips of his fingers at her center. The feeling of heat had him hard immediately.

“You’re far from repulsive, Katniss.” He met her heated stare. “I’ve always thought that.”

Katniss snorted. “Yeah, right.”

Peeta took her hand, placing it to where his erection demanded to be freed.

“Believe me,” he demanded, and her fingers moved against the rough fabric of his jeans. “This is because of you. Yeah, it’s extremely hot to see you in this get-up, but what makes me hard is that look in your eyes.”

Katniss licked her lips. “What look?”

“That fire,” he told her, his thumb caressing the top of her hand. “That fire in those grey eyes will always get me, if you’re in this black jumpsuit—” Her fingers enclosed along his cock, gripping him firmly. “—or if you’re wearing that ugly zip-up sweater that HR gave you for your work anniversary.”

“Excuse me?” They both jumped at the voice and looked to see the flight attendant. “We’ve just been notified that we’ll be landing a little sooner than we announced. So, if you could finish your drinks in the next few minutes—”

“Of course,” Katniss said quickly, her free hand reaching for her cup. “We’ll be done soon.”

The woman gave them a smile and moved on to the next row.

Katniss sat back, the hand on him quickly disappearing.

“You’re going to be more problematic than I thought,” she said, her eyes dark.

“Trust me.” Peeta let out a breath. “The feeling is mutual.”

++++++

“I never asked, but you and Rye are pretty close, right?”

Peeta nodded, pushing the cart with their luggage down the corridor as they left baggage claim.

“We’re probably just as close as you and Prim are,” he told her. “And Delly is great. Horrendous taste in friends, but she’s really a sweet person.”

“Do you suspect that Rye will see through all of this?” Katniss questioned.

Peeta shook his head. “We’ve done our research.” He stopped, reaching for her hand. “I also always thought that you and I had great chemistry…in the workplace. I think it transfers easily into whatever we’re trying to pull off.”

Katniss smiled. “I feel the exact same way.”

“Peeta!”

They turned to see a couple, running toward them excitedly.

Rye rushed over, pulling him into a tight hug and practically lifting him off the ground. His brother was a broad fellow; muscular from years of playing football throughout high school and college. However, Rye was as gentle as they came when it came to his younger brother and the lovely woman that he would soon be marrying.

“I’ve missed you, little brother!” Rye said affectionately. “Welcome home!”

They drew apart, just as Delly pulled away from hugging Katniss.

He reached over to quickly kiss Delly on the cheek. “Hello soon-to-be big sister.”

“Hello, my sweet little brother,” Delly greeted in return.

“Rye, Delly—” Katniss beamed at him and his heart leapt at the affectionate gesture. Taking her hand, he presented her proudly to the couple. “—this lovely woman is my girlfriend, Katniss Everdeen.”

Delly grinned at his expression. “I can already tell that she’s going to be a perfect addition to our family.”

Rye took Katniss’ hand, leaning and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“I welcome anyone who makes my baby brother smile this brightly,” he told her. “Welcome to San Francisco. Have you ever been here?”

Katniss shook her head. “This is my first time. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thanks!” Delly glowed in excitement. “I can’t wait for all the festivities—” She whipped around to her fiancé. “—and for us to be married, of course!” They all chuckled at her exuberance.

Rye led them out into where the town cars were stationed; a man in a black suit immediately took the cart and headed to the trunk of the black Sedan in front of them.

“A driver?” Peeta asked.

“Mom and Dad insisted,” Rye responded with a grimace. “You know them.”

They all slid into the wide back seats, Rye closing the door behind him.

Delly immediately pounced. “So, how did you two meet?”

“We’ve been working together for the last two years at Panem Projects,” Katniss told her easily. “I’ve always liked Peeta and we became friends right away.”

“However, a little over six months ago, I finally got the balls to ask her out on an actual date,” Peeta finished for her. His hand found hers, their fingers entwining easily, and he met Katniss’ eyes. “And, wonderful woman that she was, she accepted. We’ve been together ever since.”

“I love it,” Delly said sincerely. “And you look so beautiful together. The children are going to be gorgeous.”

Rye smiled affectionately at his fiancée. “Don’t scare Katniss off, love.”

“I don’t know,” Katniss said, eyeing Peeta playfully. Her free hand reached to push his hair away from his face. “I’ve always loved blue-eyed children.”

“And, the children would look particularly lovely if they had Katniss’ hair,” he added, his hand reaching to the tuck a tendril of her hair behind her ear.

How did he never notice what was in front of him?

“Oh man,” Rye said, looking between them. He smirked at his brother. “You are so fucked.”

++++++

“It’s so wonderful to have you here, Katniss,” his mother said. “We’ve never had Peeta bring a girl home. You know, except for Mad—" She waved her hand, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, you are most welcome.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Mellark,” Katniss replied graciously.

“Call me Janice, my dear.”

Behind her, Peeta followed along with his father carrying their bags up the stairs.

“She seems like a lovely girl,” his father told him.

“I care for her a great deal,” Peeta said as he watched his mother and Katniss chat easily. “I don’t know how I even got her.”

“Trust me, son.” He gave Peeta an affectionate smile. “I think she feels the same way. I can tell just by the way she keeps looking over for you—like she can’t believe that you’re together.”

They stopped at the door to his childhood room.

“Well, we put some extra towels in your bedroom,” his mother told them. “And, Mags—” Peeta had introduced Katniss to the head of the household when they first entered his childhood home. “—made sure that fresh sheets have been put on the bed and she’s aired out the room as well.”

“Okay, but where will Katniss be staying?” he asked.

“We’re not so old to not know that you aren’t sleeping together,” his mother said. “So, we just set up your room for the both of you.”

“That’s perfect,” Katniss told his parents. She looked to him boldly. “Show me your room. I’m dying to see those little league trophies of yours.”

“We know that you must be exhausted,” his father told them. “So, we’ll just have dinner sent up and we can rendezvous for brunch tomorrow in the main dining room.”

“Thank you, Marshall,” Katniss said as Peeta opened the door for them. “Thank you as well, Janice.”

“Of course, dear.” His mother gave them a jaunty wink. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Entering the room, Peeta placed their bags at the end of his bed.

“What kind of life did you leave when you came to work at Panem Projects?” Katniss stared up at the high ceiling of the room, her eyes traveling to the four-post bed, and then to the floor-to-ceiling windows. She went to one immediately. “Oh my God! You can see everything from up here!”

“A house on Twin Peaks affords that kind of view. However, it’s not so great on foggy days,” he told her, watching as she examined every bit of his room from the bathroom (“A clawfoot tub!”) to the walk-in closet (This is practically the size of my studio!).

Taking off her shoes, Katniss leapt onto his bed. “Holy shit! This is heavenly!”

Peeta went to her, toeing off his own shoes before joining her.

They laid side by side, hands immediately reaching for one another.

He turned to her. “Did I ever say thank you for being here?”

“It’s all worth it to stay in this sweet room,” Katniss replied, her grey eyes dancing.

“So, you’re just here for the room?”

She smirked. “Well, I did also find out that you have a huge cock—so that’s a bonus.”

“Katniss!” Her laughter filled the room and his stomach tumbled in pleasure hearing it. He suddenly flipped, his chest over hers and the giggles fell from her lips. Peeta stared down at her, her grey eyes suddenly darkening as he examined her. “You’re something special.”

“I’m nothing.” Her chest rose and Katniss let out a shaky breath. “I just want to be here for you.”

“I want to kiss you,” he suddenly said, his hand reaching to trace her jawline. “Would you allow it?”

“Are you doing it because you want to thank me?” she asked tightly. “Or because you want to explore what is obviously between us?”

“Both, I think.” Peeta had never felt this exhilarated or this flustered by someone. Just a touch from Katniss and he was in a whirlwind, happy to be caught in it. “I just think you deserve someone less broken than I am.”

“We’re both broken.” Her hand reached for the nape of his neck, drawing him down until their lips were brushing. “I don’t know if we can fix that, but we can help each other mend.” She smiled against him. “Let’s see where this weekend takes us, and we can go from there. For now, I’m allowing you to kiss me. So, make it a good one.”

Peeta dipped his mouth into hers, sampling just a bit, and it was like he could breathe again. Immediately, his lips sought hers, his tongue sweeping into her mouth and swirling against her own. Katniss moaned and his heart rose in triumph as she pressed herself to him eagerly.

His hand reached to cradle her head, his fingers entwining in soft waves and he plunged into her mouth once more, exploring her in their kiss.

Katniss ripped her mouth off his, a string of saliva still connecting them.

“Fuck!” Her eyes were frenzied. “What the hell are you doing to me?”

He grinned. “I’m just exploring.”

Despite his attempt to remain cool, his own heart raced; the feel of her mouth…and her tongue undoing him.

This wasn’t the plan, but it felt right.

“This whole game we’re playing,” she said, her eyes full of hunger. “I’m going to crash and burn, aren’t I?”

“If you burn—” Peeta kissed her tenderly. “—then I burn with you.”

END OF PART ONE

[spaceskam]

Inspired by @aewriting's fic because oh my goddddd

ao3

Michael knew a lot of things. He was smart and aware and was sufficiently sure that his species better than the entirety of the human race so there was no point in giving a shit.

Yet, for the life of him, he couldn't stop grinning as he looked at the assigned rooming system for their class trip.

 Michael," Max hissed as he leaned over, his own copy of the syllabus and rooming system in his hand, "We need to request to room together instead."

"What, why?" Michael said, struggling to tear his eyes off the 4D - Michael Guerin, Alex Manes written on his paper. The idea of watching him get ready in the morning and seeing how long it took him to put on his makeup had Michael squirming for some reason.

"Because," Max said, eyes wide like he should've pieces it together, "What if something happens?"

Michael frowned. "Are you still having issues?"

"Yes!" Max insisted, "So we need to both request room changes."

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to say for why I want a room change?" Michael scoffed. He didn't say that he really, really didn't want a room change. Alex was easily the most interesting human being he'd ever seen. If Michael was going to have a human friend, he'd be it. This felt like a good excuse to get to know him.

Max scanned the page to see who Michael was rooming with.

"Easy, it's Alex. Say you're not comfortable rooming with someone who's, you know," Max said, shrugging to fill in the blank. Michael's eyebrows raised.

"Oh, fuck off, I'm not pretending to be a homophobe so you can get off in the shower to the idea of Liz Ortecho's shampoo without worrying someone might see a power outage," Michael told him, shaking his head, "You can go a weekend controlling yourself. And, if not, Iz can work her magic."

"You're a terrible brother."

"Love you too."

-

By the time they were loading onto the bus, Michael's excitement had bled into nerves.

Sure, he was better than humans, but humans were also notorious for thinking they were hot shit. Would Alex be a shitty roommate? It was only a couple days, but that was still hours where they'd be alone in the same room together. Would they bond? Would he piss Alex off? Would they get in a fight?

They'd both been in a lot of fights.

While everyone else packed towards the back of the bus, Alex sat up from behind the teachers. He'd already put his headphones on from what Michael sound see, ignoring every glare Mr. Rowe gave him for it as he tried to give them a big, preparatory speech. Subsequently, Michael didn't hear much of it either.

Most of the ride was like that, actually. It was a long 3 hours, but his eyes kept drifting to the only boy who sat alone with his eyes closed. He was bold and didn't give a shit which Michael was envious of. As much as he tried, he always cared a little bit, at the very least what Isobel and Max thought of him. But Alex didn't. And, to make matters more distracting, the sun seemed to hit his face in just the perfect way that it seemed he was torn out of a goddamn magazine. Another thing to be envious of.

"Will you stop staring at him?" Isobel scolded from beside him, "People are already going to be asking you if you're sleeping with him after you're alone with him every night, are you really trying to make the rumors worse?"

"Would it mean I get to punch someone in the face?" Michael asked. Max scoffed from where he was leaning over the seat behind them to join the conversation.

"If you do that, you're going to be in a lot of trouble."

"I'm already always in a lot of trouble, might as well have a good reason," Michael suggested, shrugging his shoulders. He smiled as his siblings shook their heads.

He let his eyes drift back to the godlike, Michelangelo-sculpture-esque man that was Alex Manes.

-

Mr. Rowe passed out each the key cards to everyone, giving a speech about being responsible. No parties, no drinking, no leaving past curfew, no this, no that.

Michael’s eyes followed the way Alex’s slender fingers grabbed the key card before slipping it into the back pocket of his tight jeans. He didn’t smile, he didn’t speak, and he simply embodied the vibes of every dull bad boy that popped up in shitty YA books. Except he wasn’t dull. That’s what made him interesting.

Alex must’ve felt him staring though because he looked over and Michael looked away so fast he almost hurt himself.

“You’re going to piss him off if you keep staring at him,” Isobel scolded, pinching his arm. He glared at her, rubbing the skin she’d attacked. “The last thing we need is you getting in a fight.”

“I’m not going to fight Alex,” he insisted, sneaking another look over at the boy he’d be spending the entire weekend with, “I promise.”

“Well, make sure you keep your phone on you so you can text me if things get weird,” Isobel said. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Okay, Mom.”

“Everyone has their keys? Okay, then we should be set for the night. Go find your rooms, get settled, and we’ll head down for dinner at 6:30, alright? Then back to your rooms for the night. Make sure you’re taking showers, we’re going to the Grand Canyon tomorrow and the last thing I need is anyone smelling like they haven’t bathed and they’re baking under direct sun,” Mr. Rowe preached, inciting a few whispered laughs and accusations about who he was talking about. Michael knew it probably wasn’t directly at him, but he shifted uncomfortably anyway. “Again, have your alarms set. I’ll knock on doors in the morning, but we’re all meeting down here at 7 in the morning and if I have to go hunt you down, we’ll have problems. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” 

Eventually, they all started making their way towards their rooms. Isobel, Max, and Michael all opted for the stairs along with a few other students while the rest waited for the elevator. They made it to Michael’s room first and both Isobel and Max gave him wary looks.

“Jesus, you both seem to forget I have more control than you,” he said. They shared a look.

“Yeah, but only in one way. I just don’t want you to get in trouble,” Max said. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Stop parenting me.”

“Okay, fine,” Isobel said, holding up her hands in defense and subsequently becoming more parental. Michael rolled his eyes and turned to the door.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” he said, pushing into the room and closing it behind him.

He didn’t mean to slam it as loud as he did and he definitely didn’t mean to startle the boy who was already in the room. Alex had seemed to jump out of his skin and looked at Michael like he’d lost it. Michael gave an apologetic smile and tried not to think about the fact that this was the first time they’d ever been alone. Hell, this would be the first real conversation they’d had. 

Actually, he couldn’t remember a time Alex Manes had ever spoke outside of throwing insults at jocks or when they were forced to debate designer babies in 10th grade. Alex had been the only one who was anti that didn’t play the God card. He’d gone on a long spiel about how it wasn’t a guarantee, about how parents paid all that money to have a child exactly how they wanted, but what happened if it didn’t work that way? Nature vs. nuture, he’d said. A baby could look the part, but if it didn’t act the part, they had parents accusing them of losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. That was the moment Michael knew he was more than a YA bad boy.

For a moment, he wondered if Alex thought he was the YA bad boy. They both fit different sides of the same profile. Alex was punk and hardened, Michael was thrown through the system and had a stint in juvie the summer before, and both of them had been in more fights than necessary. Oh, God, what if Alex thought he was bland?

“I felt each bed, I took the one that makes less noise,” Alex said simply, voice deeper than Michael remembered. Was it hot in here?

“Why? Don’t wanna wake me when you sneak out?” Michael asked, trying to act normal. He wasn’t well versed in making friends, but he knew staring at them like a deer in headlights was not the way to go about it.

“More like don’t wanna wake you when I stay up all night,” Alex responded, not offering a smile as he focused back on the bed. He had a duffel bag and he pulled out a long wire, kneeling on the bed and reaching over to plug it in the wall. His shirt slid up as he did so, revealing a small patch of tanned skin on his back that Michael found inexplicably interesting.

“Well, good news, I don’t really sleep either.”

“Seems like that’s why we got roomed together,” Alex said, dropping onto the bed after he plugged it into the wall and then plugged the other end into his phone, “Same answers on the questionnaire.”

“Seems like it,” Michael agreed. Alex paused for a moment, looking over at him with dark, curious eyes.

“And you don’t have a problem with this?”

“Are you gonna kill me in my sleep?”

“You just said you don’t sleep,” Alex said. Michael raised his eyebrow at the lack of an answer. It earned a small smile from Alex that made Michael’s heart skip a beat. “No, I’m not gonna kill you.”

“Then we’re all good.”

“And the rumors don’t bother you?” Alex prodded. Michael dropped his bag beside the other bed and laid down, grinning mindlessly as it groaned under his wait.

“The rumors about me don’t bother you?” Michael shot back. Alex eyed him for a moment. Michael fully expected him to elaborate on the rumors about himself to get his question across. It wasn’t uncommon for people to think Michael just didn’t get it. It didn’t matter how smart he was: you look homeless, people treat you like you’re helpless. But Alex didn’t fill in any blanks.

“As long as you don’t kill me in my sleep,” Alex said with a shrug, falling against the pillows and putting his attention onto his phone. Michael watched him for a few extra seconds before he shook his head, pulling out a book to pass the time.

He was definitely going to get a friend out of this. Who knew?

-

Michael was dead weight on the bed.

They’d had a full buffet for the students and Michael had eaten more than he’d eaten in a long time. As good as it was, he also felt like he was about to succumb to a food coma. So much for staying up all night.

He ended up waking up bright and early anyway, though. The birds started chirping before the sun rose and he rolled over in irritation. Alex was laying on the bed, curled up and asleep with his phone screen still on and shining towards the ceiling. Michael laid there for awhile, fading in and out of sleep until Alex’s alarm went off at 6.

Alex woke up with a pout and a sigh, stretching his limbs out and arching his back. Michael watched him mindlessly, watching his legs shake at the tense muscles before he slowly dragged himself up and Michael pretended to be asleep. The first step to making friends was decidedly not watching them while they slept.

Michael stayed in bed as Alex quietly grabbed his makeup bag and disappeared into the bathroom. Was it weird that Michael was a little sad he closed the door? Yes. Yes it was weird. What the fuck.

Around the time one of the teachers knocked on the door to tell them they should be awake, Alex reappeared all dolled up. His makeup was in full force, his hair done in a skillful way, and sporting black jeans and a black t-shirt. His cheeks seemed extra sparkly, though, and Michael nodded in approval.

“Nice face,” he said simply, grabbing a pair of jeans. Alex blew air from his nose in response.

“Okay.”

“Mhm.”

They both went down for breakfast and to gather to load the buses and head to the Grand Canyon. Alex, despite his friends, sat at the front of the bus by himself again. Liz and Maria sat towards the back and behind Kyle, leaving him alone. Michael felt bad.

“While you aren’t required to be on a strict buddy system with your roommate, I definitely suggest staying close by them because you will be needing to do check-ins together. We’re not trying to have anyone run off, alright? Understand?” Mr. Rowe announced.

“Yes, sir,” they all agreed and it seemed good enough for him, signalling for the bus driver to go ahead.

“So, did you cause a power outage in front of your roommate?” Michael asked Max.

“How would he have done that?” Isobel asked. Michael offered and filthy grin and moved his hand in an obscene gesture, his tongue poking in his cheek. She looked slightly horrified at the mental image and slapped his arm, instantly making him laugh. Max just sunk into the seat behind them with an embarrassed groan.

“Guess not,” Michael snorted. 

“Well, what about you and Alex Manes? How’d that go? No fights? No gay awakening?” Isobel prodded. Michael rolled his eyes, his mood tampering at just how dull the night had been.

“Sorry to disappoint. I took a shower as soon as we got back from dinner and he took one after and I was asleep by the time he got out, so nothing special,” Michael said with a shrug. He was admittedly disappointed. What was the point of putting two troublemakers in the same room if they didn’t raise a little hell? Instead, he ate too much and fell asleep like an old man.

“Okay, well, do something because it’s only been one night and I’m already over Carly’s long discussion over Kyle Vlaneti’s cheekbones. Like, I get it, he’s hot, but there are much more important things to talk about,” she scoffed. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Sorry, I’ll do my best to do something more interesting.”

He wasn’t quite sure what that interesting thing would be, but he could definitely try.

-

That interesting thing happened when he and Alex were walking back after their routine check-in.

“This is so fucking lame,” Michael said, gesturing the canyon that failed to impress him no matter how many signs he read, “It’s a big hole in the ground.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s kind of nice,” Alex responded. Michael raised an eyebrow at him and they both came to a stop.

“Nice?” Michael repeated, “What’s nice about it?”

“Look, come see,” Alex ushered, grabbing his arm freely and pulling him to an area that was pretty empty. They were far away from the rest of the group by the time Alex let go of him and he honestly got a little worried as Alex stepped so close to the edge that his toes were hanging off. 

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t you feel small?” he asked. Michael watched as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. The sun seemed to find him and he was glowing. “Like nothing matters. Years of horrible things that built this country never stopped the natural flow of things enough to take this. No matter who we are, what we do, there’s always something… else.”

Michael licked his lips. Like what, he thought, aliens?

Alex breathed in deep.

“I could do anything. I could jump or I could kill someone or I could commit every atrocity, and the world would keep turning,” Alex whispered, “And some people do that. Because it doesn’t matter so they don’t care. But if we’re all horrible, every last one, who will notice the small things? Like… this. Us. I am nothing, but doesn’t that make us everything?”

“You lost me.”

Alex laughed softly and opened his eyes, turning towards Michael. Then he gestured for him to come closer. And, like all idiots with superiority complexes, Michael obeyed and let his toes hang off the edge without a thought.

“The only kind thing left is Mother Nature.”

“Mother Nature kills,” Michael pointed out. Alex rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be cynical, think about it. There’s nothing selfish in nature, not really. You take what you need.”

“Some species would disagree.”

“Just humans,” Alex sighed, “Fuck humans.”

Michael huffed a laugh and couldn’t help but admire him and agree. For a guy who wore all black and had punched a few jocks hard enough to raise talk of expulsion, he was apparently a lot more positive and logical than everyone else. 

“Fuck humans,” Michael agreed, turning his face towards the canyon. He thought it looked a little better now. “Fuck humans!”

“Yes,” Alex laughed cupping his hands around his mouth to amiplify his voice, “Fuck humans!”

“Fuck humans!” 

“Alright, boys,” Mr. Rowe sighed from somewhere behind them. Alex jumped at the sudden new voice and, on instinct, Michael grabbed his shirt and pulled him away from the edge just as he lost his footing. 

They ended up a few steps away from the edge, Michael still holding onto him while he caught his breath from the short moment of fear. But through it all, Alex was smiling at him. Not just the normal, irritated smile, but a big one that rivaled the sun that shined just for him. And that smile was targeted at Michael specifically. Wasn’t that breathtaking? 

“Alex, are you alright?” Mr. Rowe said, voice actually concerned as he jogged closer, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Um, yeah,” Alex said, slowly taking a step out of Michael’s hold and that cold demeanor started to slip back up as he remembered they weren’t alone, “I’m good. Just made me jump.”

Mr. Rowe looked between them and nodded. “Right. Just be careful, we don’t need you falling off the side no matter how angsty you feel.”

Michael laughed, “Sure thing, we’ll be careful.”

“Yeah,” Mr. Rowe said, looking between them a couple more times, “And you two are good with sharing a room together?”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Michael said, looking over to Alex. His smile was fully gone now, the hardened face back in place, and he shrugged.

“Haven’t killed him yet.”

“Comforting, Mr. Manes, thank you,” Mr. Rowe sighed. He gave Michael a pat on the shoulder before turning and walking back to the group. 

“Yet?” Michael asked once their teacher was out of ear shot. A secretive little smile slipped back onto his face.

“Never say never.”

-

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting with my class trip buddy.”

Michael grinned shameless as he got settled in the bus seat beside Alex in the far front. They were heading back to the hotel and Michael, still high on the moment he’d had with Alex on the cliff’s edge, wanted to be close to him again.

“Okay,” Alex agreed, eyeing him skeptically. Michael just gave that smile that he knew was charming. It was his specialty. Alex rolled his eyes and sat back into his seat, but the tiny smile tugging at his lips didn’t go unnoticed.

“So, whatcha listening to?” Michael prodded, leaning into his personal space to see what was on his phone. Alex elbowed him away gently, but he picked up the spare earbud to hand to Michael. He accepted it. “What is this?”

“Ska punk.”

“Huh?”

“Ska,” Alex said, grinning at Michael’s lack of understanding, “Like, No Doubt? Sublime?”

“You’re just trying to confuse me today, aren’t you?” he said. Alex rolled his eyes but turned up the music.

“It’s a mix between classic alt and ska which is basically, like, reggae influence,” Alex explained, “In my superior opinion, it’s the best genre.”

“Why?” Michael wondered. Alex raised an eyebrow and turned up the music a little more as if that would explain it. 

“Because it’s a perfect mix between chill and ‘fuck the man’ music. Like, when I take over the world, I’m gonna do it with ska punk blaring all the time,” Alex explained. Michael sputtered a laugh, unable to find him uninteresting in the slightest. 

“You plan to take over the world, huh?”

“So, here’s the plan, right,” Alex said, turning in his seat. He looked around as if someone might actually overhear and leaned a bit closer. Michael followed his lead, listening with pure interest. “I’m gonna write a musical, right, and it’s gonna take the world by storm. People are gonna love me and I’ll get the unbridled support by the world of theatre when I run for president at 30.”

“Oh, we’re jumping straight to president?”

“Hell yeah, I don’t waste time,” Alex said, waving a hand and looking deadly serious the entire time, “Anyway, I’ll be technically too young, but the overwhelming support will get me my win. Then, then, I’ll spend about two years in office learning all the government secrets and then I’m gonna whistleblow all of it before I go into hiding.”

Michael nodded, on board with every word.

“Liz and Maria are gonna stay in America to lead the true revolution while I go hide from American officials in Russia for a few years,” he explained.

“How are you gonna hide in Russia?”

“I figure I’ll seduce someone in power,” Alex said like it was easy. And, honestly, Michael believed him. “Anyway, then I’ll go to the Vatican‒wash, rinse, repeat, whistleblow that bitch. Then the Pope will probably try to have me assassinated on live TV, but it’s fine because I’ll survive.”

“Oh yeah?” Michael laughed. Alex eyed him, judging him until he feigned seriousness to match Alex’s. Still, he found it ungodly amusing that the guy who had just been saying how small and meaningless everyone was also had a plan to overthrow the government.

“Yeah, I’ll come back to America and I’ll be the face of the revolution. Enter ska punk to the masses. The chill vibes will give them no choice by to agree with my political ideology and feats,” Alex said, shrugging a shoulder and raising an eyebrow, “Easy.”

“Easy,” Michael agreed, not even caring that they were incredibly close at this point.

“Save the good people, destroy the bad. Eat the rich,” Alex said simply. Michael agreed without hesitation.

Sadly, before he could enjoy anymore of Alex’s existence, the bus came to a stop and Alex took his music back.

“See, I got you on board with just a little bit of No Doubt,” Alex said, sliding past Michael without a second thought and being the first one off the bus.

Michael knew for a fact that Alex was better than everyone.

-

The day was long and Michael could still feel a layer of sweat on his skin as he sat on the floor beside the hotel bed. Alex was taking a shower and he was recounting the day’s events. Screaming into a canyon with Alex, walking through a national park with Alex a few feet in front of him, deciding to sit beside Alex on the bus ride back and sharing his music, and rolling his eyes at all the questions Isobel was sending him to ask why he sat with Alex. 

Michael: I’m making friends fuck off

Isobel: well are you abandoning me at dinner too???

Michael: no i’ll sit with you and max 

Michael: maybe alex liz and maria can sit with us too

Isobel: two trios don’t make a happy family, Michael

Michael: fuuuuuck off

Isobel: 😘

Michael dropped his phone and tilted his head back, grinning to himself as he thought about how good it felt to scream with Alex. Maybe, if anyone was on par with his species, it was him. That would make sense, right? Alex seemed to get it. 

The bathroom door opened and Alex Manes walked out in a cloud of steam and Michael’s brain stopped working. Things slowed down and Alex walked out in slow motion, shirtless with a pair of sweats low on his hips. He was pulling on a shirt as he did so and the glory of his bare chest was gone too soon, but it didn’t stop Michael from staring slack-jawed and stupid.

“What?” Alex asked, snapping him out of his haze. He was eyeing him like he was being really fucking weird. Which, he was being really fucking weird. But he couldn’t help it. Alex was... was...

“Sorry,” Michael said, scrambling out of bed so he could take his own shower. Alex nodded slowly, heading over to his side of the room. Michael couldn’t help but watch him as he put his dirty clothes in the duffel bag and then stretched. His skin was red-tinted from the hot water and Michael wanted to touch and see if he could feel the heat.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

It wasn’t until he was in his own shower, this one much colder than the one Alex apparently took, and seeking the scent of the other boy’s body wash that it dawned on him what might be wrong. He froze for a solid five minutes, staring blankly at the wall as he thought about things and Alex and the fact that he was seconds away from doing exactly what he’d mocked Max for. 

Michael took a steadying breath and licked his lips. Out of morbid curiosity, he closed his eyes and took himself in his hand, picturing Alex Manes and the millisecond long glimpse of his bare chest and the way the sun hit his face and the way he smiled and the way he screamed and the way he lit up when he described his plans for world domination and the way his long fingers looked curled around his phone. He ended up biting down on his lip so hard that he drew blood, out of breath and more confused than ever.

Maybe that was a fluke or Alex was a weird exception. He was undeniably pretty and relatively feminine and clearly more interesting than the rest of the human race, so maybe that had something to do with it. Or maybe it was his own unconfirmed but also not denied sexuality that had Michael’s curiosity sparked. It was normal for teenagers to get a little confused, right? He’d always assumed his species was above that, but maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was just confused. He knew he liked women, that was undeniable and he knew he wasn’t faking it.

But the more he thought that he was just a little confused by Alex in particular, the more he realized that maybe it wasn’t normal to let his eyes linger in the locker room. Maybe it wasn’t normal to work so hard at keeping his eyes straight in juvie. Maybe it wasn’t normal to not be grossed out when he found himself focusing on the guy in porn.

Or maybe it was normal. Maybe it was okay.

He left the shower feeling ungodly drained and overwhelmed by his own thoughts. He’d expected a lot of things from this trip, but jacking off to his class trip roommate wasn’t exactly on the syllabus. The biggest discovery this weekend was supposed to be the visual of the Grand Canyon. 

He swallowed hard as he tried to remember how to act normal, but Alex looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t help but feel the urge to test his budding theory on his own sexuality. Would Alex welcome it if he tried? Would that fight everyone seemed to expect happen?

“Dude, what did you do to your face?” Alex scoffed, sitting up and taking a step too close. Every hair on Michael’s body stood up at his close proximity, stupid teenage hormones not knowing when enough was enough. “That’s gonna scab.”

“Sorry,” Michael said. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and then huffed a laugh.

“Why are you apologizing to me? It’s your mouth,” Alex said. But his eyes lingered on Michael’s cracked and swelling bottom lip and that seemed to confirm all of Michael’s brand new theories all on it’s own.

They stared for a moment, too close and too aware. Michael could see confusion sift through Alex’s eyes like he was trying to gauge if he was reading things correctly. Perhaps his own face betrayed that he absolutely was. 

“We should probably go down for dinner,” Alex said softly, mechanically. Michael nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” he said. 

Twenty-four hours in and he was already questioning his entire self.

-

“Anything interesting yet?”

Michael snorted, eyes flicking over to Alex and the way he elongated his body in his chair. He was smiling fondly at Liz and Maria as they laughed about something over dinner. It was easy to see that he loved them and Michael’s stomach twisted with something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. He supposed it had to do with the only people who ever gave him any semblance of love were Isobel and Max. Maybe he was jealous Alex could give it so freely to his friends who weren’t his intergalactic buddies.

“Yeah, actually,” Max said, clearing his throat. Isobel and Michael both raised intrigued eyebrows, giving him their attention as they leaned forward. “I think I’m gonna ask out Liz.”

Isobel and Michael both groaned and fell back into their chairs. Max just laughed.

“I’m serious this time! I’m gonna do it!” Max insisted.

“C’mon, man, what’s the point? We’ve got a couple months left of the school year and then the summer and then she’s going off to get a fancy degree or seven,” Michael said. Isobel shoved his shoulder, but he didn’t waver. Max shook his head.

“Nah, you don’t get it. We,” he paused, sighing happily, “We had a moment.”

“A moment?” Isobel asked.

“Yeah, like… one of those moments that are totally worth risking it all for, you know what I mean?” Max clarified.

Unwillingly, Michael’s eyes drifted over to where Alex was already looking his way. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red as Alex didn’t look away like most people did when they got caught staring. Instead, Alex raised his hand to his face and ran his thumb over his bottom lip. Michael involuntarily copied and discovered he was bleeding again. Alex gave a cool smile and mouthed ‘fuck humans’ before turning back to Liz and Maria.

Chills covered his skin as he looked back to his own dinner companions.

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I know those moments.”

-

Night two alone with Alex Manes proved much more difficult than night one.

Tonight, Michael was aware of a deep seeded desire to touch him and listen to him speak. Tonight, he struggled to keep his eyes to himself as Alex traded his jeans for sweats in the middle of the room instead of going into the bathroom like the night before. Tonight, had to sit on his hands to keep from requesting permission to do something he shouldn’t‒like seeing if he was as good at getting another guy off as he was at getting himself off. It felt like the question for the ages. And to think he’d bothered questioning his alien origins when he could’ve been questioning what Alex’s mouth could do. How foolish of him to ignore that.

More importantly, how had he ever ignored Alex? He was smart and funny and gorgeous. How had he missed the attraction before? Maybe it had to do with Alex being smart and gorgeous. He was going to get out of here and do good shit. Michael still, even with that scholarship waiting for him, taunted him and reminded him he wasn’t going to do much. 

“Are you okay? Did you get sun poisoned? You’ve been zoning out since we were on the bus,” Alex asked, “Got worse after your shower.”

Michael looked up at him from where he was seated on his bed and Alex was standing between the two. He was so fucking hot. Without thinking, Michael patted the bed beside him. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and didn’t move for a few seconds but slowly, slowly came to sit beside him.

“Jokes aside,” Michael started, mind still thinking of Max’s lack of hesitation when it came to Liz’s plans, “What do you actually want to do in the future?”

“Um,” Alex said, shifting slightly, “Getting the fuck out of Roswell is my only real goal. I hate it there.”

“Same,” Michael agreed.

“Yeah…” Alex said, “Guess that makes sense. We’re the two people with the most amount of fights in Roswell High history.”

Michael snorted, “You’re lucky. Your dad definitely used that fancy little title he’s got to keep you from being sent to juvie after you shattered Mason Glenn’s face.”

“Lucky,” Alex repeated, shaking his head, “I’m not lucky. Not with my dad.”

“Well, if it helps, I’m not lucky either,” Michael sighed, thinking about his shitty track record, “That fight I got into last year, almost deafened the guy in his left ear. Got me a couple months in juvie. Which, you know, maybe I am lucky. Most kids like me don’t get out that easy.”

“So the rumors are true then?” Alex asked. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Why are you so set on the rumors?” he wondered, turning to face him, “‘Cause it depends on which ones you’re talking about. I’m not sleeping with Iz if that’s the one you’re asking about.”

Despite his attempt at lightening the mood, Alex didn’t let him. His intense gaze wandered over Michael’s features and Michael clutched the sheets in his hand.

“The one where you live in your truck,” Alex stated bluntly.

“Okay, then is the one about you true?” Michael shot back, tilting his head, “Are you gay? Is that why you think about taking over the world? Is that why you like feeling small?”

Alex didn’t react in any type of physical way, but Michael wouldn’t have been surprised if Alex had started a fight then. Most of Alex’s fights started with someone calling him gay. Granted, it was usually yelling slurs at him to do so and not asking, but still.

“Is that why you wanna get out of Roswell?” Alex asked, ignoring his accusation, “Because here everyone turns a blind eye to a homeless teenager? Because it’s easier to say you live in a truck than to say you’re homeless?”

“Is that why you want to get out of Roswell? Because here everyone turns a blind eye to bullying? Because it’s easier to say you’re just other than to admit they’re in the wrong?”

Alex stared at him and Michael stared right back, both of them unwavering and serious. It was totally different from on the bus or on the cliff or standing close after a shower. This felt real. This felt… more. If those were moments, what was this? Because whatever it was, it was suffocating.

Then Alex was leaning forward.

Despite Michael’s prior thoughts and interest and despite how badly he wanted to, he jumped off the bed before Alex could do anything. It didn’t make that intense gaze feel any less all encompassing.

“I-I’m gonna go brush my teeth,” Michael said, heading to the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He stared at himself in the mirror, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. He was going to be kissed and he fled. That was definitely a first.

Then again, he’d never been faced with a boy trying to kiss him. Not just a boy, but a hot boy who seemed just as aware of the fucked up reality as he was. Which, again, made no goddamn sense. How the hell was Alex so aware and still able to smile and make jokes? For Michael, he knew there was more. He knew he was better. But Alex… Alex didn’t know that. He just thought humans were as good as it got. And he was still calling Michael out, still trying to force him to say something. He wasn’t turning a blind eye.

Michael gulped and stared at his reflection. He really would’ve liked to go back to the fun revelations.

By the time he exited the bathroom, the light was out and Alex was curled up in bed with his back towards Michael.

-

“Uh oh.”

“What?” Michael asked. Isobel was eyeing him with that knowing gaze as he sat beside her at breakfast. Alex had already been in the bathroom when Michael woke up and, when he came out, he made no mention of the night before. He’d given his good morning and then left the room. He didn’t seem angry. So why did Michael feel so guilty?

“I know that face,” she said, “What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Michael sighed, “I just think I pissed Alex off.”

“Why? What’d you do?” she wondered. Michael sighed, looking to where Alex was notably not looking at him. He couldn’t tell her Alex went in to kiss him and he chickened out.

“Nothing, we just… talked, I guess, I don’t know,” Michael said, shrugging his shoulders. Isobel looked at him oddly.

“You’re 17, Michael, why are you acting like an old man?” she asked. He scoffed, ready to argue, but even he couldn’t deny that it was particularly weird that they had a conversation like that. But, then again, it just brought him back to the conclusion that there was something about him. He wasn’t like the rest of the human race and he wasn’t like the limited knowledge he had of his own species. He was… other. In a good way.

His eyes drifted back to Alex for a moment. Could he be a teenager with him? Was he worthy of sloppy kisses and self-discovery with him? Could they be kids and not have every conversation be laced with the underlying truths of their reality?  

“You ever wanna take over the world and bring all the alien-destroys-New-York movies to life?” Michael asked her instead. Isobel sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Anyway,” Isobel said, leaning closer, “Apparently, Kyle Valenti stole a few bottles of alcohol from the kitchen. We’re gonna have a party tonight in his room after curfew since it’s the last night away from home. You should come, everyone else is.”

“Wasn’t one of the rules no parties?” Michael asked, “And no drinking?”

“Again, old man, when did you become against breaking rules?”

Michael licked his lips and looked over at Alex again. True. Since when did he have shit holding him back from doing what he wanted?

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll break rules.”

-

Just like the day before, it was hard to find anything interesting in where they were.

In theory, he could appreciate a national park and a museum, but Michael didn’t really give a shit. He would’ve been much more interested if they went to the Houston Space Station like was originally debated. But that was too expensive and going to national parks just wasn’t. 

Unlike the day before, though, everyone was buzzing when they got on the bus to go back to the hotel. Everyone was texting and whispering about this party they were planning. Michael was considering going if things went badly with Alex, but that’s it. Only if things went bad with Alex.

This was the last night they were here, this was his last real shot at getting him alone. He wanted to try. 

Besides, if Max made a move on Liz before he made a move on Alex, well, then they were all fucked.

He watched him throughout dinner, trying to think of what exactly he wanted to say. Maybe he could just tell him he thought he was hot, keep it simple. Or he could explain that, thinking about it, he’d actually liked him for a lot longer than he realized because it suddenly made a lot of sense why he’d been watching him for two years. Maybe Alex would take his confusion about his sexuality as a good enough answer and they could make out to help solidify that this wasn’t a weird boy crush. Not that he thought it was. He was confused about what this meant, but there was no confusion about the way Alex made him feel like his skin was being lit on fucking fire and like his mind was melting.

When they got back to the room, Michael quickly went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and make sure he didn’t smell. Everyone was getting ready for Valenti’s party. Time to prepare for his own.

“Hey, Alex, can we talk?” Michael asked as he stepped out of the bathroom. Alex looked up from where his phone and eyed him, nodding slightly.

Michael stepped closer, trying to find at least one of the starters to the plethora of conversations he’d had in his mind. He should say he liked him. He should say he didn’t mean to pull away. He should say that he accidentally had a second sexual awakening to seeing him shirtless. He should say so, so many things.

And instead he said none. Instead, he lunged forward and kissed him.

It was a short, chaste kiss, but it was enough for pieces to fall into place. That was definitely how that was supposed to feel. It probably had to do with Alex being superior. Where was a pedestal when you needed one?

“Um,” Alex said, taking a shaky breath as the kiss ended. Michael blinked a few times and pulled away a little more. Had he misread something? Alex licked his lips, looking at him like he didn’t get it. “Are-are… Is this a set up?”

“Huh?” Michael asked, furrowing his eyebrows. How the hell did he come to that conclusion?

“Is this one of those things where you kiss me and then ask me out and then I agree and then you stand me up and make fun of me with your friends?” he asked, hesitant rather than angry. Michael’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“What? No, oh my god, who did that?” Michael asked, voice soft. Alex shook his head dismissively, still eying him like he didn’t get it.

“You just kissed me.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I really wanna keep doing it too if you do.”

“There’s a party.”

“I’d rather we have our own.”

“You barely know me.”

“I know enough.”

“So you know I’m into guys and you’re questioning?”

“No,” Michael said, shrugging his shoulders, “I know you’re smart and beautiful and funny.”

Alex looked him up and down and that hesitance in his eyes slowly but surely bled into something else. His eyes darkened just a little and Michael’s stomach twisted. Alex slowly stepped back into his space, idle fingertips touching his elbows and slowly sliding up his arms and over his shoulders and over his neck and into his hair. He hadn’t even gotten another kiss and Michael felt like his brain had melted.

Alex cradled his head as he pulled him in for another kiss, this one packing much more of a purpose. He parted his lips and welcomed Alex’s tongue against his own. His hands reached for Alex’s hips, pulling him closer as he tilted his head to kiss him a little deeper. His tongue deliberately slid over his sore bottom lip, letting him know he was being careful not to kiss him too hard. Which would’ve been fine, but he didn’t actually care.

Michael pressed in harder and Alex smiled, tugging on his hair gently. Add that to the list of things to make his mind run wild.

They kissed for a while just standing there, both of them too hesitant to move in case they pushed a button that wasn’t willing to be pressed. But the kisses got more sloppy and the touches got more desperate, both of them swaying as they tried so hard to push in closer. Michael couldn’t remember a time he’d been so desperate to touch someone. Suddenly, there was no confusion at all about anything. It was just this, just them.

As Alex’s hands slid beneath his shirt, it reminded Michael of his little Grand Canyon speech. You take what you need, he’d said. Did this count? It felt like it counted. The more he kissed him, the more he realized he’d wanted to do this for a long time. He just… hadn’t let himself think that.

Michael pulled away to remove his shirt, diving back in for another kiss. Alex breathed a hot breath against his mouth as his hands raked over his bare chest, taking in every inch. No one had ever touched him like that. He wanted more.

“Wait,” Michael breathed. Alex snatched his hands away quickly, still breathing heavy as he pulled away to see what was wrong. Michael gave a reassuring smile. “Do you, uh, like, do you… know how to… like…”

Alex smiled at him in a way that could’ve been condescending, but distinctly wasn’t because it was him. He placed his hands on Michael’s chest again.

“Yeah,” he said, “Do you?”

Michael licked his lips and looked down between them. Alex was still fully clothed, but he really, really didn’t want him to be.

“Not, uh, not with a guy,” he admitted, swallowing as he met Alex’s eyes again. There was no judgement. “Kinda lost on how exactly that works.”

“Well, I can explain it to you,” Alex said, “If you want.”

Michael involuntarily moved forward, kissing him hotly. “I want.”

“Okay,” Alex breathed, smiling as he moved his hands up to fiddle with his hair. Michael felt like putty in his hands and he enjoyed every second of it. “But we don’t even have to go, like, that far. I don’t really have any… Like, I didn’t bring lube or anything, didn’t really anticipate this, so maybe we should just stick to the basics.”

“Basics?” Michael repeated. Alex nodded and gave him another kiss.

“If you want to,” Alex told him, “With me.”

“God, Alex,” Michael laughed, shaking his head, “I literally have never wanted anything more than you in my entire life. I feel like my heart is going to explode in my chest. I have never liked someone as much as I like you and it’s really made this weekend impossible to enjoy anything that wasn’t you.”

Alex stared at him for a moment before he softly nodded and pulled him back into a kiss, but this one was a little different. This one was slow and held every goddamn secret in the universe. Yes, they were small, but yes, they were everything.

“C’mon,” Alex said, grabbing his hands and tugging him towards the bed.

Michael followed him with a lifetime of anticipation.

-

A knock sounded on the door to signify that they should be awake.

Michael groaned and went to reach for his phone, but paused when he realized he had the weight of another body on his back. Every moment of the night before all rushed into his mind and he smiled to himself, both excited that he’d been bold enough and disappointed that they probably wouldn’t get the chance to do anything like that again any time soon.

But, then again, he had a truck waiting for him.

“Alex,” Michael said, carefully turning so as not to crush him or throw him off, “We gotta get up. Bus loads in like an hour.”

Alex sighed and lifted his head, looking up at him. Even in his sleep-hazed state, he grinned.

“You’ve got sex hair,” he said. Michael snorted and ran in hands through Alex’s hair.

“Haha, I wonder why.”

“Yeah, me too,” Alex teased, pushing himself up to kiss him again. That one led to another and another and they only broke when more persistent knocking came.

“Michael!” Isobel said, “Open up! I need you or I’m gonna die!”

Michael sighed at her dramatics and looked to Alex with a pout.

“Get dressed, we’ll pretend nothing happened,” Alex said and Michael nodded easily. They both got up and Michael had to brace himself against the wall, feeling a little off-kilter. Alex gave him a filthy grin. “Sore?” he asked innocently, waving two fingers at him. Michael huffed and held up his middle finger.

Eventually, they pulled themselves together and answered Isobel who didn’t seem to notice anything as she headed straight for Michael’s bed.

“She’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met,” Isobel groaned, “I can’t wait to get home.”

Michael spared a glance at Alex who went into the bathroom to pack all of his shit.

“I don’t know, I think I could entertain this trip for another night or two.”

“Yeah, well your roommate isn’t annoying,” Isobel scoffed. Michael grinned to himself.

“Yeah, you got that right.”

The ride back to Roswell was more than agonizing. Alex sat at the front and Michael sat with Isobel, the only contact they had being over text. It wasn’t enough. They still hadn’t really talked about what happens next. God, he wanted to know. He wanted everything.

He could imagine it easily: the two biggest troublemakers at Roswell High hooking up. They’d be an unstoppable team. The idea made him grin.

When they got back to the school after the multiple hours of trip they endured, Michael went to his truck and waited. Everyone else had their parents pick them up or drove their own cars back home. Things would just go back to normal. It was just a normal class trip. 

Except Alex Manes didn’t have anyone pick him up and he didn’t have a ride. Instead, he just walked up to Michael's truck once most everyone was gone and took a deep breath.

“We should talk,” he said. Michael licked his lips and nodded towards his truck.

“Wanna go for a ride?” he asked. Alex grinned easily.

“Hell yeah I do.”

They definitely did a little more than talking.

Who knew the Grand Canyon could be so great?

[pillowfluffs]

You Not Wanting Kids | NCT 127

Pairing: NCT 127 X Reader (female) 

Genre: fluffyyyy

Author’s Note: Thanks for requesting, anon! Hope this is okay since I’ve never written a reaction with them... This was actually quite hard cause I kept thinking “they would all be chill about it, although some would be more bummed than others...” 

Warnings: suggestive with johnny and Jaehyun 👀 

Taeil: 

Snowflakes slowly fell from the night sky, layering a thick blanket of snow over the buildings, houses, and streets

the weather felt like it was slowly getting worse as it got colder in the night 

a few of the members were in their rooms, doing their own things, and a few others were all about, somewhere in the dorms 

you were a regular guest in their dorms so there was no surprise on their end if they walked into the living room to find you and taeil together

Taeil and everyone else had to stay indoors to stay safe from a cold spreading around but also the weather

You laid your head on his chest and your body in between his legs with one hand resting on your back while the other was behind his head, propping it up

He put on a romantic movie and cherished this time during the holidays he got off with you

Seeing the kids bounce in joy on the screen sparked a thought in his head

“Do you want kids?” He nudged/ rubbed your back, curious

“Mmm, not really. I can’t really see myself as a mom...” you spoke. “I don’t do well with others being sick or throwing up near or on me.”

It was a thought you had as a kid and it stuck with you as you grew up

You didn’t really want kids

You didn’t want to deal with the financial parts behind it, the late nights where you could barely sleep

Which you heard from your coworkers

It sounded so miserable even though babies were cute

You just didn’t really want to go through it

He nodded, curious about your reasons but didn’t push further

Johnny: 

The two of you ordered some take out for dinner

Fine wines to go with them too

The two of you sat at the living room table and just watched whatever was on tv

And then it became more of a question game

You two had been together for a while

A couple months but there were still things about you that Johnny didn’t know about like you not knowing everything about Johnny

Though he was mostly an open book

You asked him some questions

Pretty generic, not too deep just yet

But then as the night went on, the two of you found yourself talking longer about your pasts, the future

Talks about dreams and aspiration, what he wanted to do in life, what you wanted to do

Things he wanted in life, things you wanted

“Do you want kids?”

“Uh, not really?” Your voice went higher as the words fell

You knew for your age, after getting to work, couples your age would usually get married and settle down and have kids

But you honestly didn’t really want any

You’ve heard enough from your family when they asked you if you sre gonna marry soon and settle down

They really wanted grandchildren

Johnny was super chill and accepting of it

I’m sure all of them would be and respect your decision of course

He went on to the next question like nothing because it wasn’t that big of a deal

But he did wink at you

“If you ever change your mind, you know my number ;)”

Yuta: 

the music from the stereos echoed around the dance studio as he moved with rhythm 

he moved so easily, he was so eye catching with the way he moved 

he gave you a smirk or a smile depending on the music playing whenever his eyes met yours through his reflection on the mirror wall 

he looked so good 

he slid down the wall and plopped down beside you as you handed him a cool water bottle from a little cooler and draped a towel around his shoulders 

the two of you had been together for almost a year now and you felt like you needed to say this 

“I don’t kids,” you said bluntly 

he practically choked on his water since this literally came out of nowhere

“okay?” 

“you’re not upset about that?” 

“not too much since I have a feeling our kids would be so beautiful, but it’s your body.” 

He respected your decision very much 

and he still had his intentions on being with you in the future 

it was a weight off for you since you knew this was a dealbreaker for your past relationships 

they wanted kids and you didn’t and it just didn’t work out 

but you met yuta

and in this moment, it felt like a weight was lifted off of you 

and maybe just maybe, you would even change your decision 

Taeyong: 

the sun was shining beautifully 

clouds rolled by in the sky as the two of you sat on a blanket, enjoying a picnic together in a public park 

there were other couples spread out, doing their own thing 

he brought the foods for the two of you while you brought some activities like little games but so far you two had been here all day and the games were over 

be brought fruits and veggies with dips, cute little drinks

but he also brought kimbap, mandoo (dumplings), milks and cute sodas

the weather was perfect and so was this date 

after playing the games you brought a couple times, the two of you ended up playing this last one you brought 

it was a box that you found at the mall that sold party games and such 

each person took a turn to draw a card and everyone went around to answer the question on the card 

there were cards that asked about favorite foods, books, movies, hobbies 

as the sun began to set, the deeper and closer the two of you bonded sharing interests and opinions 

then your question came up: do you want kids? 

“I would like some, they’re so cute.” Taeyong was amazing with kids. “how about you?” 

from what you were able to see when they were teachers for the day 

you knew he would make a great father to his kids 

other too 

but you had your doubts yourself about being a parent. 

“I don’t think I would make a good parent so I don’t really want any,” you said to which he nodded 

but he also reassured you that from what he knew about your personality, he thought contrary to your belief 

Doyoung: 

During a road trip, the two of you played a questionnaire game 

more or less like 21 questions 

as he drove, the two of you took turns asking questions about one another or about anything 

you looked through on your phone, struggling to find some yourself yet Doyoung was able to think of so many questions so easily off the top of his head 

he wanted you to take you into the country side to take a breather from your busy work and the buzzing city life 

the country side was beautiful from all the shows and dramas you watched and he saw the way you were amazed 

so today was the day he was bringing you out to spend in the country side for a few days in an airbnb

As he drove on the long, empty road, his question appeared 

“Do you want kids?” 

“No, not really.” 

Doyoung was confused as to why you didn’t want any 

he was also pretty bummed because he was a really great family guy 

he wanted to start one with you and to have kids of his own that he could raise to be great people in this world 

“How come?” he asked, wanting to know more 

“I’m not the best with kids... So I don’t really want any of my own.” 

His mind was suddenly buzzing with questions and retorts 

but he had to filter himself 

he knew he couldn’t force you to have kids and also force you to do things you didn’t want to do 

but throughout the rest of the car ride, he persisted carefully on this topic as if he was persuading you/ tempting you to change your mind 

in the best way possible because he wanted to have kids with you

Jaehyun: 

the afternoon sun shone in through the skylight in your bedroom, making everything seem very pretty since your room had a white aesthetic 

it was very photo worthy if you had a photoshoot

you slowly woke up as Jaehyun stirred in his sleep beside you, your bare bodies beside each other 

clothes discarded on the ground 

it was a very.. fun... night in simple terms 

Jaehyun took in the lovely sight of your skin exposed in the bright afternoon sun, how ethereal it made you look with your upper half pressed into the mattress and your lower half hidden beneath the blanket 

of course he looked the same way from your perspective 

his muscles were sculpted and toned very nicely, the sun shining on his body, showing all the shadows in his muscles 

He laid with you in his arms, your head rested on his chest as he stroked your hair, tucking strands of your hair behind your ear

thinking about last night’s activities, he thought about the future 

and like the hypothetical scenario of you getting pregnant and having kids with you 

“what if we had kids?” 

“Mmm, why?” 

“I was just thinking about last night and like what if we had some?” 

“Oh, I don’t really want any,” you said 

“Oh, how come,” he asked as he tucked another hair behind your ear. “You would be a great mom. We would be great parents,” he curled his lips, showing off his dimple

“Mmm, maybe, but I just don’t really want any.” You said, pressing your cheek to his chest, drawing light lines on his skin 

“Mmhm.” 

Jaehyun was kind of bummed since he, like Taeyong, thought kids were adorable and he was actually quite good with them 

he hoped in the future, your stance would change and the two of you could perhaps one day start a family together 

Winwin: 

The room was dark as he laid on his bed as he texted you while it was just morning for you 

he guessed you were probably about to start work soon considering the hour it was back home 

the two of you talked about random things, mostly about the foods he’s eating, the things he’s seeing

he sent multiple pictures that yuta took for him 

he talked about how different things were and how they worked compared to asia

everything felt so different and he really liked it 

but he was pretty nervous about the language barrier 

eventually, the group at the end of the day played around by the pool at their hotel and yuta and winwin and taeil took some pictures at this little playground for kids 

there were a few kids with their families 

one family, this teenage daughter recognized the three of them and asked for a picture and he even got a copy of it and sent it to you 

it was the three of them, the teenage girl, and her baby brother 

“the little boy was so cute” he said with cute emojis

“Do you want kids one day?” 

You agreed with him how adorable the kids were but you didn’t really want kids 

there wasn’t any particular reason, you didn’t hate or dislike them in any way 

you actually did like them 

but you just didn’t really want any 

when he asked why and you gave him no particular reason, he just went on talking about the trip but it was like a recurring thought for him 

he was curious as to why but he wasn’t upset or anything by your decision

Jungwoo: 

this mans was your kid 

you spent some time with him in his dorm as he was on hiatus

the two of you spent some time in the empty dorms to yourselves

going out for food sometimes but also ordering take out, even making things like ramen with special additions of meat and such 

you guys went around town, going to the malls with of course concealing your identities from anyone cough dispatch

you even played a little game where at some point, one would buy something they think the other would like but it has to be a complete surprise 

so the two of you had to be sneaky on your own 

it was actually pretty fun 

the two of you couldn’t decide on just a single thing so it became three things 

and then you two would exchange and go over why you picked your things and he picked yours back at the dorms 

but also of course there was a price limit so nothing would be too expensive 

You picked out a little character dispenser for wipes because you liked how he liked to stay clean, a cute keychain with a cute dog on it that he could also put his ID in, and finally a little snack that he could enjoy later 

mans loves to eat 

he picked out a little stuffed animal, a little pouch with one of your favorite characters on it, and a little toy that was usually for children but he thought you would like it 

you did and it’s the thought that counts

the two of you ended uop laughing over how childlike these items were and out of curiosity, he asked: do you want kids? 

“personally, not really. I don’t want to go through that pain and finance in the future.” 

He nodded as he listened intently, understanding the financial part but he could only imagine the pain it was for women to have kids 

but he did want kids one day though, so this bummed him out only a tad bit, but not entirely 

Mark:

Mark was a very very busy person 

thanks sm for not letting him rest >:(

so of course this meant he didn’t have too much free time to spend time with you or other friends

even the dreamies who had removed him from their group chats a couple times only to add him back and then this cycle continued 

so of course the two days he was finally free from his schedule before he was about to debut again in SuperM, he took the chance to spend time with people 

he spent almost all day with the dreamies, drinking bubble tea and sodas with them, playing video games and pubg as a group on their phones

then at night, he spent some time with you after dinner 

he picked you up from your house and from there, the two of you just wandered around the neighborhood 

he made sure you were safe of course 

it had been a spell of time since he was able to formally hang out with you and it was much overdue 

he held your hand in his as the two of you walked under the clear night sky, the street illuminated from the bright full moon and the twinkling stars thousands and thousands of miles away 

the two of you sat at your elementary school playground, sitting on the aged swings, the same exact ones the two of you used to sit together in as kids 

now that you guys were older and you guys had been together for quite some time now, he was curious 

“do you want kids?”

“Nope,” you said straight forward, feeling weightless as you said this. “Of course we’re still too young to even think about parenthood but in general, I don’t think I would want any. I for sure don’t want any now.” 

he nodded surprised since most girls often talked about finding the right person to get together and have a family with 

“Do you want kids?” you asked which made him blush 

the thought of having kids was nice but you were right, it was way too early to even think about having kids 

maybe one day though

Haechan: 

The day was long and hectic for Haechan 

he spent his day rehearsing for NCT Dream’s upcoming comeback, practicing the choreo, working out, recording for future events that were unknown 

everything felt so busy around him 

he needed a breather 

so he called you when he finally got the chance

he was one of the few left in the studio and he didnt want to go back just yet 

you were at home, taking care of your neighbor’s baby while they were out at a dinner with their coworkers 

babies were hard and you learned that it was pretty tough 

Haechan facetime called you so you could hold the baby and he could also see them too 

when you answered, the first thing he saw was them sitting in your lap 

it was so cute, he let out a playful squeal, trying to get the their attention on the phone

but you were about to put them to bed soon so you sat holding your phone in the rocking chair your neighbors had set up in the nursery beside the crib 

it was actually very comfortable, it made you yawn which made him yawn 

but you seemed so natural despite the messages you sent him throughout the day about the baby doing gross things 

“Do you want kids in the future?” he asked out of the blue as you carefully put the cooing baby down into its crib 

“after today and how tired I feel, no, not at all.” you spoke softly and laughed as you went back to the rocking chair, making sure it fell asleep before you went back downstairs 

“they threw up on me like twice today and im- ugh,” you gagged, making him laugh. “but even in the future, I don’t think so,” to which he nodded as he listened 

but he strongly thought you would make such a fun parent like he would 

Overall, I think they would, of course, respect your decision since it’s your body.

~~~~~ Masterlist for more! Thank you for reading!

[phantomphangphucker]

Legless On Maim Chap. 9: Gifts Of Time, Science, And Space

ClockWork is surprisingly helpful. Danny’s surprisingly not. Jack and Maddie are surprisingly good at ethical(ish) human(ish) medicine(ish). Lewis is surprisingly not and accidentally makes a ghost. And the duo that is Venom are surprisingly... surprising.

ClockWork smiles fondly, leans over, and pats Danny’s head, “I’m perfectly sound of mind and Core, child”. Danny only groans loudly in response.

But this is enough to get Maddie and Jack to their feet and drawing weapons, though not pointing them because something’s going on here. Jazz practically bolting into the kitchen and looking like she’s ten seconds away from blocking their line of fire and screaming ‘NO!’, only encourages them to hold off more. They knew Danny was close to her, trusted her, maybe told her things they didn’t know?

The ghost turns to the pair of hunters, them floating over the table, and actually bows exaggeratedly with a cheeky smirk, “greetings, Madeline and Jackson”. Jack blinks, having not been called that since he was basically born and they had to tell the nurse what to put on his birth certificate. While the ghost looks to Lewis, “as for the who, Lewis-”, making Lewis quirk an eyebrow over them following Danny in using his last name, “-you’d be right in assuming I’m ClockWork”, looking back to the hunters, “the ghost of time, or spirit, as you’ve chosen to dub the created dead”, grinning, “we prefer neverborn ghost of course. Born ghosts prefer unlived ghost”.

Danny lifts his head off the table to the sight of his parents' open mouth gaping at ClockWork, groans and bangs his head on the table again. ClockWork patting his head with their tail before Danny lifts his head up, returns his chin to his palm and sighs, “ClockWork, there are days I really wonder if you just like making me suffer”, sighing again while his parents give him really weird looks. Danny glances from his folks worriedly to ClockWork, looking mildly unimpressed and exasperated, “you’re gonna make me explain all this, aren’t you?”.

Jack raises an eyebrow at Danny, “Danny-boy? Do you... know them?”.

Danny slips his head off his palm and lets his face bang into the table yet again, “ugh. Yes”, lifting a hand limply and gesturing at ClockWork, his face still on the table, “Clocky. Timepants. Pocket-watch. Timedaddy. Kronos, when they’re being a real old-timer stickler”, sighing, “they’re kinda my-”, he’s probably going to regret deciding that lying wasn’t worth the effort here, “-ghost parent?”.

ClockWork shifts to their elderly form, “you say that as if it is a question”.

Danny lifts up his head purely to scowl at them, “oh my Ancients”.

“Yes?”.

Danny’s scowl deepens but he doesn’t get to say anything as Maddie cuts in, managing to sound only slightly accusing, “what does he mean, ghost”, glancing at Danny and softening her expression a little, clearly silently asking him the same question but nicer.

Jack nodding stiffly, “uh, yeah”.

ClockWork says precisely nothing, instead shifting to a child and sitting on Danny’s shoulder. Danny turns his head to gape at them, “seriously?”.

Lewis chuckles, “well I certainly see where Danny gets his mischievous side now”. ClockWork was absolutely a trouble maker and prankster. And fine, if prankster god wasn’t slightly horrifying.

Resulting in Danny screwing up his face and giving Lewis the most overacted ‘you did not just say that’ face ever, that effectively conveyed ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’ in about sixty-nine different languages. ClockWork just pats Danny’s head.

Danny looks back to his folks at his mom clearing her throat. Him chuckling awkwardly, “uh”, deciding screw it, it’s way too bloody late for this to not be awkwarder than a snow bunny trying to relax in someone's venti cup filled with espresso shots. Gesturing with both hands from ClockWork to his parents, “ClockWork, my parents; not that you didn’t already know that”, gesturing from his parents back to ClockWork, “mom and dad, ClockWork; my ghostly guardian because I am a child and ghostly enough to qualify for this shit and my life is bullshit and the universe has a horrible sense of humour and yeah okay I’m exactly the kind of mess to have a technical god watching over me more literally and this probably makes, like, zero sense and I’d rather you not shoot them and I have no idea why they’re here now and I'm just going to shut up now”, clacking his teeth shut and leaning back against his chair with his arms crossed. ClockWork, now an adult, repositioning to appear to be sitting on the top of the chair back (obviously they are actually floating though).

Jack and Maddie blink, exchange a Look, and go back to eyeing ClockWork -who’s suddenly a child again- warily; though they look less like they’re trying to restrain hostility and more simply cautious. Maddie sitting down slowly and stiffly, effectively pulling Jack to sit down as well, “explain”, her then glaring/squinting at the ghost, “why are you here”. Both of those were technically supposed to be questions but that didn’t sound even slightly like questions.

Danny seriously resists saying ‘I kinda just did’ both because that wouldn’t do him any good here and because she’s asking to explain the explanation. Jazz gives him an encouraging nudge as she relaxes and sits down herself; now sure her parents aren’t going to attempt to attack.

Danny swallows, “um, like I said. Ghostly parent. Guardian. Mentor. Teacher. Guide”, oh he is so never going to hear the end of this. Of him having a Guardian and being taught ghost things, and not telling his ghost crazed ectologist/hunter parents. Never. But his parents, or his mom at least, seemed to understand him not being super open with his ghostly shit. With him hiding it. So maybe. Just maybe. They’ll get him hiding this too. Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not. Big difference between ‘my body does weird ghost shit’ and ‘I hang out with literal ghosts’. Massive fucking difference. Huge. And ClockWork’s over here being their typical calm collected self. Jerk. Though that was probably a way of saying ‘this is fine and will be fine’; not gonna stop Danny from being a paranoid little bitch. Danny breaks the silence by reopening his mouth, looking to his mom, “um. They’re who I meant by that wise ‘friend’ I mentioned”.

Maddie squints at him a little before nodding and glancing back to the ghost. So this ghost -spirit or ‘neverborn’?- loved the living? That was... arguably good... okay. But she’s still not sure what’s even going on here. How can he ‘have a ghost parent’? That makes no sense. And pointing that out just effectively made Danny repeat himself, so obviously this didn’t cross his mind as ‘not normal’. She’s pretty damn certain a ghost wasn’t present when she gave birth to him, and carried him, and literally everything else. And he wasn’t born like this, born with a Core and ectoplasm. She would have noticed something like that. So what really is this ClockWork to him? Or how do they have the familial relationship Danny’s saying they do. Again Danny didn’t find this odd, so do ghosts just... get assigned a mentor ghost? That makes zero sense. Ghosts knew how to be ghosts from the get-go... right? But also, what the heck was some ghost -maybe ‘needed’ or not- teaching her son?

Jack tilts his head, watching the currently child-like ghost give Danny a little head pat. His son glancing up with the typical scowl he gave to the two of them for doing that or ruffling his hair, even looking a bit fond? And that wasn’t something that could really be faked. So close for sure. His boy was close with a ghost! What does he even do with this? Is it good? Bad? Kinda cool? If ghostie really was friendly -huh, friendly ghost, who would have thought? Danny apparently- then it was cool. The things he could learn! But how? “How are you related?”, Jack shakes his head, “wait no, they said created so no relatives at all”. Then squinting and becoming just a little giddy. Wait! They confirmed a theory! Or more so Dan’s theory. Blurting out, “you’re needed!”, pausing, right no assumptions anymore, “or are you?”.

ClockWork grins, “ghost of time. The time stream would quite effectively collapse without me”. A truly unfortunate truth. ClockWork lets them sit on that for a beat before adding, “of course I am an unfade so that hardly matters”.

Jack and Maddie blink, “an ’unfade’”, attempting to take this in stride.

“Indestructible. Immortal. I am an endless thing. I have always been and will always be”.

Jazz decides now would be a good point to interject, before her parents start building a questionnaire, “alright, I’m sure you didn’t show up to answer questions. So why are you here and could it have waited till after everyone had slept?”, Danny especially needed all the sleep he could muster.

ClockWork grins, “they asked to meet a good ghost, so I decided to let them. Though I can be more of a neutral when it comes to the universe or existence itself”. Ultimately, seeking to extend the existence of the universe and maintain the stability of time, were ‘good’ goals and jobs.

Lewis can’t help but chuckle, that was so painfully mundane but with complete chaos as a result. Which gets Maddie’s attention on him, “you are... very calm”. Maddie officially feels like Dan might have a better disposition for her job than she does.

Danny grumbles, “tell me about it”, because seriously, come on! Looking to ClockWork, “for the love of everything, tell me you had more reason than that?”.

Jazz butting in again, “no. No more questions. You all need to go to bed. And I need to go back to it”. Earning some neck rubbing from Danny. Maddie and Jack just gesture -with both hands- at ClockWork like that is reason enough for them not to. Jazz stands up, hands on her hips, “no. Bed. Now”.

ClockWork smirks and closes their eyes slightly, “I’ll make sure to tuck Daniel in then”. Making both parents immediately exclaim, “no! You’re a stranger to us! And a ghost!”. Which Danny glares at them over a little.

Jazz throws up her hands, “why do I try”, and attempts to smack ClockWork over the head, “you’re as bad as Danny”, blinking at her hand, which of course had just phased through ClockWork.

Danny snorts, “why did you think that would work? They see the future”.

Jazz points at him, “proof we need sleep”.

Jack lifts up a finger and opens his mouth, though closing his mouth at getting a harsh glare from his daughter. ClockWork answer his question anyway, no clue how the ghost knew what it was though, “the time stream flows trough my Core, to be without me would be rather similar to brewing coffee without the filter and picking your beans blindly”.

Lewis mutters, “the horror”, sarcastically. While ClockWork continues, “the universe would get nothing short of a mess and would likely throw out the end result with haste. And Madeline? I have in fact been watching over him since before you had been born yourself”, looking with an almost mean smirk to Jazz, “preventing your parents from speaking will not alter the fact that they did speak in another time”.

Jack is almost smiling over the new info and Maddie just looks incredibly confused. While Jazz sighs and rubs her temples, “at the very least Danny should sleep. If you’re a ‘parent’ then shouldn’t you be focused on his heath?”.

ClockWork smirks more, “and I am. After all, there are some timely issues. What better to empower timing mechanisms than-”, shifting to an elder, “-old man time, the being that empowers time itself”. Danny puts a hand over his mouth and chuckles; not even attempting to figure out what ClockWork means.

Lewis quirks an eyebrow, “you’re referring to the timer I’m guessing? I find it interesting that a ghost would be offering to help ghost hunters with their tech. Which is usually used for ghost hunting”. This gets literally everyone else to raise their eyebrows.

ClockWork shrugs very subtly, “they could hardly do me harm, and ghost hunting is far from the purpose here”, grinning and side-eyeing Danny, “put that tail to good use, people do tend to keep around that which is useful”.

Danny’s pretty sure he’s the only one who got that. ClockWork absolutely was enjoying his effectively full-time tail. Cheeky bastard. Rolling his eyes a little bit with a small smile at ClockWork poking his tail with theirs; letting his tail uncoil from the chair and effectively wind around and fiddle with ClockWork’s a little. Then scowling at Jazz for giggling at him.

Jack is struggling not to grin, only even trying not to due to this being a ghosts that deserves suspicion. Maddie furrows her eyebrows, “‘help with the timer’?”, then sounding very suspicious, “how?”, then glancing at Danny’s tail basically wrapped around the base of ClockWork’s, whose tail tip is patting his. The ghost seemed to imply It-they wanted him to keep the tail; not that there was another option. But why? Though come to think of it, she hadn’t seen them with legs at all, “is your tail constant?”.

Danny honestly feels quite pleased with himself and proud of his mom over her being kinda freindlyish. Danny deciding to be forthcoming to at least attempt to make up for never telling his folks about his Guardian; leaning forward, “yup”. ClockWork adding, “it is a common theme for Neverborn’s, yes”. Which Danny nods over. Nocturne, UnderGrowth, Vortex, the Observants, Remi, Silver; none of them had legs. Pandora and FrightKnight were two exceptions he knew of though.

ClockWork nods to themselves when Maddie hums acceptingly and thoughtfully, rightfully coming to the conclusion that they liked Daniel being similar to them; though she blames at least some of Daniel’s tolerance of his tail on them, which wasn't wholly wrong. “And Lewis’s guess is once again, correct. As is your guess that creating a stronger timer is simply beyond your capabilities”.

Maddie can’t help scowling at that while Jack pipes up, “I’m sure we could with enough resources”, managing to keep his tone down.

Jazz leans her head on the table and sighs. She’s staying awake at this point to keep an eye on her parents.

ClockWork chuckles faintly, “for what you seek to achieve, you would need-”, digging in their pocket, “-one of these”, and holds up the time medallion. ClockWork wastes no time in explaining away the twos confusion, “this is a time medallion. Only I can create them. They can allow the wearer exclusion from time or the manipulation of it. To travel to points in time or alter the flow of time, if settings are right. Only I can alter their settings. Though I can also grant another the ability to. If fused to a being they could even give a slight awareness of the future”, grinning almost meanly, “something that can entirely stop the flow of time around a being can certainly keep up with your creation”. ClockWork pockets the medallion while the three adults all gape slightly, ClockWork pulling out their own little timer device -that effectively looked like a silver time medallion with clock hands for adjustment nobs in the centre, all inside a dark gray circle- and holds it out to Jack; the more likely one take it. Unsurprised at Maddie instantly snatching it right out of Jack's hands, curious and mistrustful.

Maddie flips it over, noting that it was already completely compatible and based on the alignments was designed for waist placement; slightly to the right though. Glancing back at the ghost and noting their cloak clasp was a fair bit on the right, they were setting up the CyberSteps to copy them; and she’s gonna bet her and Jack can’t modify this. But no way in Hell were they sticking something that was a near unknown on their boy, especially if it was designed by a ghost; trying out Danny’s ghost-friendly approach or not. But if this was genuine and this ghost right, then they effectively gave Danny back functioning ‘legs’. She should probably thank them, giving a very very very awkward, “thank...you?”.

Danny blinks, goes slack-jawed, and leans back against his chair, mumbling, “my folks just thanked a ghost". Sure it was ClockWork but still. He’s made way more headway than he thought or his folks were trying really hard to chill the ghost hate. Sharing a surprised look with Jazz, also gives him a little wide-eyed encouraging smile.

ClockWork smirks and leans towards Danny’s ear, “I also have something of a job for you”.

Danny muttering while side-eyeing them, “uh, does it involve shooting you”, because seriously ClockWork. Thanks but, fuck.

“You’re welcome to try, Daniel”. Making Danny rolls his eyes, while ClockWork gives him another head pat before simply disappearing; leaving slightly awkward silence in their wake.

Jazz, surprisingly, is the one to break it. Pushing herself to stand up and asking in a way that sounds more like a command, “so can we go to bed now?”.

Lewis chuckles into his hand, “do you really think they will with that”, and points at the CW timer. The parents looking to it, Maddie biting her lip while Jack just looks excited; clearly tired though.

Jazz puts her hands on her hips and levels them with a glare, “that is a complete unknown to you. Do you seriously think you should be messing with that without sleeping?”, them inventing/working on sleep deprivation lead to either really weird inventions or a lot of destruction. And that was a gift (technically) from ClockWork, in two years she only knows of one thing ClockWork’s gifted Danny; a necklace with a stylised ‘CW’ in silver. Danny absolutely will be possessive and territorial -he’d honestly probably try snatching it from them if he wasn’t sleep-deprived himself- of it. So no way he’d sleep if they stayed up tinkering with it.

Jazz decides to take the initiative when her parents nod. Her pulling Lewis to stand up and pointing at his face, “you, make sure Danny sleeps. Then sleep yourself”. Danny throws a pouty look at her so she glares are him before making shooing motions at Lewis.

Lewis shakes his head with a chuckle and waves for Danny to follow, “I guess the sister hath spoken”, earning a round of weak laughs. Danny does actually float after him though, glancing over his shoulder at his folks and eyeballing the CW timer.

Lewis speaking up again at Danny’s door, “working legs, no revealing your legs, ghost bonding; guess your life’s glass is looking pretty half full”.

Danny pauses and blinks at him, before smirking weakly, “I’m pretty sure the entire bloody glass got ground into my fucking eyeballs when I fucking died”. Lewis doesn’t really have a response for that other than a chuckle, because yeah Danny’s luck was pretty bad.

Jazz nods curtly at the stairs before rounding on her parents, pointing at the CW timer, “no taking that apart, I don’t even want to know what might happen”, sighing, “and that’s a gift from ClockWork. I think it’s obvious Danny’s close with them, so think how hurt he would probably be if you wrecked it”. She decides she made the right call at both grimacing a little.

Maddie gets up, cradling the contraption cautiously, and nods, “right, thanks Jazz honey. I’m... going to put it in containment though”. Jack scurrying after her as she heads down to the lab. Jazz standing in the lab doorway, arms crossed, and making it very clear she will try to physically drag them to bed.

Maddie, unsurprisingly, doesn’t sleep very long; waking around nine. She spends about half an hour making coffee and sipping it at the table, getting a little surprised when Lewis comes down the stairs and pours himself a cup.

Lewis answers her question before she even asks it, “I’m used to working late shifts and morning shifts back to back. The occasional emergency call”. One needed to be bendable with their sleep schedule to be in the medical field. Another reason Danny was well suited. Sitting, “I take it you don’t sleep well on an active mind?”.

Maddie sighs and shakes her head, “no. Especially with a ghost being able to get into the house without any warnings or defences going off. Things put in place purely to prevent that”.

Lewis chuckles, yeah he could understand why she might have a few issues with that. “That ghost seemed more akin to a god. So I doubt defences really matter”.

Maddie sighs again, that in itself was an issue. She had managed to scan the ecto-signature ClockWork left behind, twenty-eight. Twenty-eight. Pariah had been a twenty-five. This ghost was the strongest they’d ever encountered, almost the strongest possible. And had some kind of positive relation with her son. “ClockWork scans at twenty-eight, so you’re not wrong”.

Lewis quirks an inquisitive eyebrow, “Danny might have mentioned the ecto-scale but I can’t say I know what each level means”. Twenty-eight was obviously incredibly strong though.

Maddie nods, “it doesn't mean much, but it tells us how a ghost compares to others. It goes up in increments. Basically, a two is as strong as a one and a half. A three is as strong as two twos. A four is as strong as two threes and a half. And so on. So the higher the numbers the bigger the gap. So a twenty-eight would be fourteen and a half times as strong as a twenty-seven”, sighing, “a thirty though doesn’t follow the algorithm, a thirty is twenty times as strong as a twenty-nine. I’m not sure why Danny changed it for that level, but he’s got a good sense about more tech or biological ghost things”. Which just makes her wonder why the Hell they never listened to him before on the things that didn’t line up with their theories. But then again, Danny’s theory on power levels had been proven in the field. They hadn’t believed him at first because the algorithm he made was frankly terrifying. Sure the fact that Danny’s scale accounted for things like general ectoplasm (one), ghost plants (two), and whisps (three); helped but still. Technus was a seven and he could be tricky to beat when he didn’t sabotage himself. (Trying to use ‘proper pronouns’ for ghosts, which Danny always seemed to preach, was... strange). And this ClockWork was effectively six-hundred-and-twenty-two-thousand times stronger. Course ectoplasmic power only meant so much, Technus was generally easy to defeat; very easy.

Maddie speaks back up at Lewis’s impressed whistle, “what really matters is the class of a ghost. Class takes into account powers, enhancements, and restrictions. One through six. A six could effectively end the world easily”, furrowing her eyebrows, “ClockWork’s a five, which seems strange”, that kind of power, time control and omniscience, seemed practically like ultimate power. What was holding them back? Or maybe they lacked powers other ghosts had?

Lewis chuckles, nods, and sips at his cup. That kind of power was pretty nuts, and man was he glad Eddie just dealt with regular ol’ humans. No gods, no alternate dimensions, no royalty, no symbiote hunters. Danny was in a whole nother league. But at least Danny’s enemies kinda respected him or straight up seemingly liked him. And he had powerful allies. Anne was right though, Eddie will be so severely out of his depth, Danny very much being a teen will help with that though.

Maddie speaks up again, breaking the slightly comfortable silence, “I wonder if Danny knows any other ghosts personally”, it would seem logical that he did. Wouldn’t make sense to just be friends, family?, with one powerful one. People don’t start out befriending the top dogs, they start at the bottom. And she’ll admit to being suspicious that Danny might have befriended some of the local ghosts. Had worried his ‘too friendly’ attitude about ghosts had extended to actually being friendly. That worry was apparently founded, but... it really was seeming like Danny was right which meant that this wasn’t exactly bad. Just... concerning. And Danny hiding his friend(s), family?, from her, from Jack, was honestly more upsetting at this point. Even if she understands his reasoning. She had hid her relationship with Jack from her parents for somewhat similar reasons after all.

Lewis pointedly looks around and covers his mouth with the cup, he’s not saying shit. Though there’s really no point in saying ‘no’.

Maddie glances at him a couple of times and squints, catching him clearly trying to restrain a small smile, “he does, doesn’t he”, that was definitely not a question.

Lewis makes eye contact and smirks in genuine, “well, at least one other has checked up on him to my knowledge. And that Skulker one has approached me about his legs; Danny did say he makes good pie too”. Sure, it was for ‘his pelt’ but he’d bet money that ghost was really fond of Danny.

The first thing that goes through Maddie’s head is that one is a known threat, a ‘villain’ ghost, why and how had Danny made ‘friends’ with It- him? The second thing is... wait he bakes? And it’s edible? But ghosts don’t eat, right?

Lewis keeps going, “Skulker also seems to like the idea of Danny having my job, though that might have encouraged him to teach Danny knife skills or something. And the other ghost, Johnny I’m pretty sure, threatened me because he thought I might be hurting him”, might as well hammer home that ghosts at least kinda cared about Danny. Would help with the whole ‘getting them to not hate ghosts or think they’re evil post-human manifestations’ thing.

Maddie blinks and stares at Lewis a bit, what? “That... doesn’t make sense”. The biker was another ‘villain’ ghost. Less ‘villain’ more ‘delinquent’, but tried to use her little girl so he was pure evil to Maddie. And didn’t Danny punch It-him? They’re not friends, that wouldn’t make sense. So why would he be attempting to protect Danny? And she still couldn’t picture that metal ghost baking anything. Unless... going a little wide-eyed, “teaching. Feeding. Protecting”, shaking her head a little and sounding almost awed, “they view him as one of them... but weak... and small”, blinking and muttering down at the table, “like a cat taking in a baby squirrel”. Or like Tarzan or a human raised by wolves. Her awe getting an edge of horror because just what were these ghosts teaching her baby boy?

Lewis decides against saying anything, because Danny got the shit kicked out of him by these ghosts. He can’t point that out without being seriously suspicious. And it would be pretty pointless.

Danny sticks his head in the kitchen at that very moment, likely having heard Maddie’s entire comment. Okay, Lewis is sure he did based off of looking like he’s trying to force his smile to not look completely and utterly nervous; the little ‘shut the fuck up, what were you thinking’ look he throws Lewis’s way really emphasises that. Maddie looking to him still wide-eyed probably doesn’t help the kids nerves.

Danny gives a little stiff wave, which he’s hoping is blamed on the restrictive braces, as he goes to start up (much stronger)coffee for himself. Part of him is glad she gets up to try and help after a beat -trying to pick up cups with finger braces was not easy okay?- but also, he can do it himself thank you very much. “I’m fine”.

Maddie pulls her hands back, holding them to her chest, “right right”, that ghostly pride thing. Instead awkwardly watching him fiddle with the machine. Danny almost wants to beg her to stop hovering.

Danny clutches his cup like it’ll give him life as he sits down, tail curling up and tip flicking in the air, “so... dad still sleeping?”.

Maddie nodding and giving an awkward, “yup”. As silence descends, only broken up by the occasional sipping sound from Danny.

Danny practically launches himself out of his seat when Tucker effectively kicks in the door, “dude, weekend time so you know I ain’t leaving your as... butt alone”, and waves innocently at Maddie; while Danny reacquaints himself with his chair.

Danny chuckles faintly, “no Sam?”, he knew Valerie was working this weekend.

Tucker quirks an eyebrow at him as he plants himself at the table, totally obvious to Mrs. Fenton’s tension, “I’m surprised you don’t know? Her mom dragged her off to a gala”. Danny pulls out his phone and cringes at the wall of ranting all caps in the chat.

Maddie sighs and shakes her head, using this a conversational life raft, “I’ll make her cookies”, why baking never came to life but cooking usually did, she’s not sure she’ll ever know. Well there was that one time with muffins, but that was intentional.

Danny goes wide-eyed and pokes Lewis with his tail, “you. You owe Tuck food. Bake shit”. Lewis raises disbelieving eyebrows at him so Danny explains, “well technically I owe him your baking. Tomato potato”.

Lewis chuckles with a head shake and gets up, “I guess I’ll see what there is to work with here”. Maddie getting up to show him were everything was; still feeling stiff and a little freaked.

Tucker grins, free food! “Sweet!”, turning to Danny, “so hurry up and get leggy again. Vampire Dad two is coming out, like, now”.

Danny rolls his eyes and rubs at his neck, “eh, that might happen sooner rather than later”, glancing at his moms back as she stiffens a little and pulls out a square pan rather jerkily, “CW showed up and lent a hand”.

Tucker’s eyebrows shoot up, he glances at Maddie quickly, “shit seriously?”. Danny nods and nods again when Tucker side-eyes his mom, clearly asking if she saw them. Tucker shakes his head, “they’re as nuts and reckless as you. If that even applies to them”. Danny can’t help chuckling at that ’cause it wasn't really either when you knew the outcome beforehand.

Lewis mutters, “yeah sure fine, I got this”, as he looks over ingredients while Maddie turns to face the boys.

“About that... how do you know them? And the... family thing?”.

Just as Danny’s opening his mouth to answer Jack barges in, looking drastically more awake than everyone else, “without me, Mads?”. Making her blush.

Tucker pats Danny on the shoulder supportively, that just gets Mrs. Fenton’s attention on him though, “you know don’t you?”.

Tucker shrugs with very intentional nonchalance, “I doubt there’s anything me and Sam don’t know about Danny-dude”.

Maddie nods, resisting sighing. She’s not exactly surprised. A little bothered? Yes. But not surprised. Those three were close, closer than she thought friends could be. She hadn’t noticed until Danny seemingly knew Sam’s bra size like it wasn’t odd for him to know that. And she’s sure she’s overheard that Sam pays for Tucker’s replacement glances; she’s not sure how they get broken so much. Shaking her head, not important right now, “well I guess I’m glad you’re close then”, looking to Danny, “so?”. While Jack sits down looking a little over-eager.

Danny gives Tucker a nearly pleading ‘help?’ look, so he gives him another pat, “all you man, your parents”, shrugging, “and it’s not like anyone other than you knows much about them. In fact-”, getting up, “-I think I’ll go help Lewis”. Danny whips Tucker’s ankle with his tail for that, nearly making the boy face-plant. Tucker mumbling sarcastically, “you'll regret that one day when I’m mayor”.

Danny whispers in ghosts with a smirk, “p͘͡ri͝n̡̛c̢͘e͜͝”, knowing Tucker knows exactly what he said; regardless of not knowing the language. Then clearing his throat and looking to his folks, “heh”, shaking his head, “uh, anyways. I, uh, meet them when they kinda savedallourlives”, chuckling awkwardly and shaking off the unpleasant memories, he is not getting into that with his folks, “But they, well, broke the law? in the way they helped, so that pretty much made me their responsibility. And they’re, uh, how I knew the impurity in Vlad’s ecto-acne. So kinda saved him too”.

Maddie cuts in before he can continue, “so this ‘ghost parent’ thing wasn’t really intentional or... willing?”. Making Jack frown.

Danny grimaces, “not really? ClockWork knew what would happen, explicitly. So willing and wanted there. They could have helped in a different way. So, uh, also technically intentional. And for me?”, shrugging, “I didn’t know Guardians were a thing so really couldn’t be intentional. I guess technically not willing either but-”, smiling sheepishly, “-who the Hell gets to pick their family?”, shrugging, “and I like them”.

Jack can’t help but chuckle at that. Danny-boy did have a point there. He’s fairly sure almost no one would willingly chose them as parents. And wow, he effectively had ghost family! How weird was that?! ‘Cause Danny’s family meant Jack’s family. Period. And any ghost who saved his boy -and apparently his entire family and Vladdie!- certainly couldn’t be evil and deserved some trust. Though he can’t help worrying that this ghost wanted to be Danny’s ‘guardian’ intentionally for bad reasons. He’s sure Mads is worried about that too. “But son, there’s something I don’t get? Why? Why would they want this? Want you? Heck! Why and how is ghost adoption even a thing?”.

Maddie nods at Jack before looking to Danny and frowning a little, “you’re human; even if slightly ghostly. The child of ghost hunters; even if you’re probably not going to be one yourself. And they’re, well, ridiculously strong; wouldn’t it make more sense to want a, how do I put this? strong kid?”, furrowing her brows and knowing Danny’s probably not going to take this well, “it’s not because of us being hunters is it? Because sweetie, I very well could see a ghost trying to get to us through you and Jazz”.

Tucker, next to Lewis, having just nodded that ‘yes, adding fudge is a good idea’, very heavily cringes. Even him and Sam knew better than to question ClockWork’s motives especially regarding their fondness for Danny. That was a good way to get a pissed off Danny. Or in Tucker’s case, shot in the face -or the crotch, that one notable time- with an ecto-beam. He does not recommend.

Danny, surprising no one, scowls and actually snaps with a bit of a snarl and power behind it, “no”, making everyone jerk a little. Maddie and Jack going a little wide-eyed, and Tucker cringing more. While Danny continues, tail actively lashing at the air aggressively and occasionally constricting around the chair legs hard enough to make creaking sounds, “you have nothing to do with it. Nothing. So don’t go there”, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose and grumbling angrily in ghost, “sh̶͡ơ̶u̸̢͡l̴d̡͝ h҉͞av͢͠e ̷f̨įgu̢r̷͜͝ęd.̴͜ ̴̶O͠f̶͢ ̸͢fuc͘k̨̧i͞n̷̛͢g̸̕͠ c͏o̸u͢r҉se͞.̧̡ ̨G̶̢hos̷t̨s̸͞ ͟͡s̕t͢ill ̢̢c͘͟͝a̢͘n’̷͡t ͘͟b͡e ̛tru̷̧̧st̴ed̶̕ ̢͝hų̧h̴.̨ ̴F̕͜u͜҉c͝ķ͟i͡n̷̕g̴ ͘͞͞A͟͠n͝c̕͝i̸̵e҉͞n̨͜҉t͘s̕”.

ClockWork picks that very moment to appear out of thin air, smacking Danny (somewhat gently)on the head with their staff, “they mean nothing by it. One can hardly expect the uninformed to understand. So explain”, and promptly disappears... again; leaving everyone (but Danny) gaping.

Danny makes some kind of whiney noise, puts both his hands over his head, and turns to exaggeratedly pout at the air where ClockWork had been.

Tucker wheezes and slowly crumples to the floor, “you’ve been told! Ha!”.

Danny turns to scowl at him, hands still on his head, “shut it, Tuck”. Dropping his hands and looking to his still gaping parents, “so... that just happened”.

Lewis chuckles faintly at that, “kid, that was worse than the time a friend of mine literally got shot, just took a sip of some fruity drink and asked the guy how the weather was”.

“Well if there was a tornado, that would be logical”.

Lewis actually turns around and points the batter spoon at him, “no. No it was not. Now stop being a little shit and talk to your parents before they blow a gasket”.

Danny rubs his neck awkwardly and looks to his folks, “um... sorry for going a bit... ballistic there. But, uh, I don’t take well to that. So just don't, okay? Their intentions are good, let’s just leave it at that”.

Jack and Maddie make a few unusual faces before nodding a bit. Jack clearing his throat, “alright, son. Does... that happen a lot?”, and nocks on his head for emphasis.

Tucker lays on the ground laughing, making Danny roll his eyes but losing a fair bit of tension. Danny grumbling petulantly, “only when I’m being stupid...”, smirking slightly, “or trying to use them for a prank”.

Lewis smirks himself and speaks while spreading batter, “so all the time?”. Danny turns his head and gives the back of Lewis’s head an overacted scowl. Lewis only smirks more over that.

Maddie clears her throat, recapturing Danny’s attention. Danny chuckles awkwardly, “right, explaining”, furrowing his eyebrows and sounding sheepish, “what were the questions again?”.

Jack chuckles a little at that while Maddie smiles and answers, “just why would a ghost adopt, adopt you specifically. Would want to”.

Danny nods, “right. I guess that might be confusing”, seeing as they didn’t know he was a ghost. And huh, the whole concept of Guardians was probably foreign to them. Probably should have realised that sooner.

Lewis snorts, “‘might’?”.

Danny turns to him, “you’re Mr. Snark today, huh?”.

Lewis shrugs, “eh, friends didn’t react to the fact that I’m making brownies”, turning and pointing at Danny, “that’s concerning”, before turning back around to slide the pan into the oven.

Danny blinks, right Vee was chocolate crazy. Really chocolate crazy. “Fair”, Far be it for him to harp on someone for being paranoid and worried over someone’s safety. Then smirking a little, “though if they’re hungry they can just get a bowl of Symbi-oats”, he can read a tired sigh/groan in Lewis’s body language.

“They’re not huge fans of cereal. They eat a lot of Chinese though”.

Danny snorts, “everyone already knows they love rawmen, Lewis”, successfully getting the guy to choke.

Danny promptly looks back to his folks and rubs his neck, “it would be easier to just, well, explain Guardianship in general?”, continuing when they both nod acceptingly, “cool, um okay. Well, so like, when ghosts form they form all their ectoplasm and Core yeah? But, like, there are adult ghosts and child ghosts. Dead ghosts always start out as child ghosts whether they died a child or not. Ditto for born ghosts”, shrugging awkwardly, “created’s are a toss-up”, shaking his head, “anyway. Child ghosts have... immature I guess? Cores. They’re weaker, less powers, less stable, more unruly and reckless; lots of things. Usually kinda sucky at being a ghost and look more like when they were alive. Adult ghosts are just instinctively or naturally a bit protective or teachery towards child ghosts”, shrugging, “kinda like humans and babies really“.

Jack and Maddie blink, Maddie opens and closes her mouth a few times so Danny pauses to let her think. Her eventually speaking up, “so ghosts.... collectively care for younger ones”, and blinks in shock a bit more because that is so far out of alignment with what they thought of ghosts.

Danny wiggles his hand in the air, “ehhhhhh, I wouldn’t go that far. Child ghosts are the most likely to get, well, murdered”.

“Oh”.

Danny nods, “yeah”, clearing his throat, “most child ghosts will get taken in or under the wing of or whatever; by an adult they impress or that likes them or is just similar to them or maybe related in life”, shrugging, “eh, it varies”.

Jack butts in at that, “what one’s ClockWork?”.

Danny shrugs and rubs his neck, “the, uh, situation with us is a little, different”, straightening up, “they literally broke time and temporal laws for me. That’s kinda super serious. Though they did that because they like me and I impressed them. Some other things”.

Maddie and Jack decide against pressing him, since he didn’t exactly react well to Maddie questioning ClockWork’s motives before. Instead Maddie asks, “okay, but generally, why would a ghost do this? It just- I guess it just doesn’t make sense to us, sweetie”.

Danny bites back muttering about how that’s because of their bigoted opinions on ghosts, thinking they’re unfeeling uncaring evil chaos-loving monsters. Though the chaos-loving part was true. Monster was debatable. “Because they want an apprentice, or heir, or are lonely, or just genuinely care. Though I guess it does benefit the adult ghost some”, shrugging, “makes both adult and child stronger. If the child accomplishes lots, it makes them look good, y’ know like it does with human parents”.

Maddie nods, “for power I can understand”, making Danny roll his eyes a little. Which really just confirms that he still thought they were overly anti-ghost.

“Yeah well, it’s not much so it would be stupid to become someone’s Guardian purely for power. Stupid”.

Jack scratches his head, ignoring the banging of Lewis and Tucker cleaning up, “couldn't they just drop the... child ghost?”.

Maddie nods at him before looking back to Danny, “like with human adoption?”.

Danny shakes his head immediately, “nope. A bond thing kinda forms that lasts as long as they both exist; whether the child ‘grows up’ or not”.

Both parents blink, Jack mouthing ‘wow’. Maddie bites her lip, “so you are... bound to ClockWork?”, she’s not sure what to do with this information.

Danny gives an awkward nod, he gets that there’s really no way for that not to bother them, “yeah”, tapping his chest brace over his Core, “my Core recognises them as Guardian and reacts, um, accordingly”.

Jack and Maddie share a Look, and Lewis glances over pointedly curious. Maddie’s the one to speak though, “and what’s ‘accordingly’?”.

Tucker snickers and speaks almost meanly, leaning over at Danny, “like a little kid”, snickering more, “Sam has a few embarrassing photos”.

Lewis looks to him, “I’m curious”.

Danny turns to point at him, “no, bad doctor”, and subtly flicks snow from his tail at the guy’s legs.

Lewis rolls his eyes, “can’t be any worse than Vee covered in marshmallows eating chicken with a coffee mug on their head. Or literally any photo of a heavily drunk Eddie; the most recent featuring him trying to eat a tv and covered in party hats”. Tucker wheezes, Danny and Jack joining in after a beat.

Jack glances at the oven and back to Maddie, “cookies?”. Making her sigh and nod. Lewis shrugging and literally undoes all his cleaning to get ingredients and supplies.

Jack grins at the cookie sheets before looking back to Danny, “so you act like a child around ClockWork, eh?”. Danny just blushes and looks around anywhere but his dad at that; which just makes him laugh heartily.

Jack grins widely to himself, he’d kinda like to see that. Danny-boy had been a darn cute, goofy, and dramatic kid. That did explain all the banging his head on the table dramatics yesterday, or this morning technically. And the tail coiling was kinda like a kid grabbing at their parents' hands. Well shit, that’s adorable and makes him grin like an idiot a little. Little Danny did used to get mesmerised by Jack’s hands, mostly ‘cause of size difference though! And there was that pouting act he did! Maybe more genuine childish pout? Less mischievous drama? Jack’s attention getting grabbed by Lewis pulling out the brownies, “wait, is there fudge in those!”, and practically going to pounce on them.

Maddie shoos Jack off, “wait a little, dear. How about you and Danny wait in the living room till the cookies are at least in the oven?”. Jack groans but nods. Maddie speaking to Danny before Jack has a chance to drag him off, “one thing I still don’t get though? Core and everything else or not, you’re still human”.

Danny shrugs, “it’s like you said before I came in -yes I heard that- I’m ghost enough to ghosts. ‘One of them’”. Maddie nods acceptingly, though she doubts someone who would defy time would care about something like species.

Jack immediately drags Danny off to the living room as soon as his wife looks satisfied, because he knows she won’t put in the cookies until he leaves. Gotta love a tricky lady. Though a third the joy in baked cookies was how damn good she looked in her frilly apron.

Danny elects to just float around lazily a bit, it was still kinda surreal floating around his parents. His dad chuckling, “it’s like you were born with It”.

Danny stilling and shrugging, “well, uh, thinking of it, ClockWork might have something to do with that. All they’ve got is tail”.

Jack chuckles and nods a little, made sense. What with the bond influence thing. Which, yeah, still not that cool with but Danny seem cool with it; so he’s kinda cool with it too. ClockWork did seem nice! For a ghost at least. Mads would take a bit more, but Danny-boy’s not a little kid so surely he understands! Though thinking of her and that, this whole ClockWork situation wasn’t all she was fretting over... “so Danny?”.

Danny pauses in the air, “why do I feel like this is more heavy stuff?”.

Jack gives an apologetic shrug, “sorry?”, Danny just waves him off so he asks away, “so Maddie had been wondering to me about more than ClockWork”.

Danny makes a point to not seem nervous, “oh?”.

Jack nods, “yeah. She was thinking that maybe you had an Obsession. You know, like a ghostly one. She wasn't sure ‘bout asking, if you’d be cool with that. Since we’ve always talked about those being unpleasant”, chuckling and rubbing his neck, “not that there’s anything wrong with that!”, moving to sit down on the couch, “though they don’t exactly seem positive. But! I’m sure you could make things work for you! Right?”, rubbing his neck again, “Dan thinks they’re like a hobby! So maybe you like it- or would like it! If you had or have one that is”, giving another weak chuckle, “though we’ve always thought of them as controlling and inclined towards bad behaviours. Violent”, waving his hands pacifyingly, “not that you’re ever violent or bad!”, muttering to the side, “other than ditching class and shirking chores anyway”, looking back to Danny, “so if you do or did, then it totally can’t be violent, so we must be at least somewhat wrong about that! We’re definitely learning a lot from you”, waving his hands again, “not that that’s why we ask or want to know!”.

Danny interrupts, floating to sit down himself. It was weird when his dad was the one needing comforting, he didn’t like it, “dad, you’re rambling, I know”, shrugging, “sure you’re curious for curiosities sake, and it being ghost-related of course. But I know it’s more because you want to know me, that I'm your son. Family”. Jack just nods and rubs his neck awkwardly, so Danny continues after adjusting a little; trying to not be weird about this, and running his hands over part of his tail, “as for the, er, Obsession, thing-”.

Jack pats him on the back gently and cuts in, “you don’t have to tell me, tell us, if you’d rather not”. He hopes his boy doesn’t take the out though, he’s curious! And they didn’t fully understand Obsessions beyond them being called ‘Obsession’ for a reason, was related to their death, and largely what kept them around; blocked them from moving on. What ghosts Obsessed about was important them, so if Danny had one then it’s got to be important to him! And he definitely wants to know the things important to his boy! But Danny was clearly a bit defensive of all these things he’s been hiding, the ghostly things and definitely ClockWork; boy could be scary if he wanted to be! And also the Core, he has a feeling Danny didn’t just recently find out about that. And Obsessions could, and have been, used to a hunters' advantage. To trap or discourage or harm. he’s never even heard of a ghost being open about their Obsession! Even if it was obvious! Like with that Box Ghost. And ClockWork’s was probably time-related; or just was time as a whole! So it would totally make sense for him to what to hide his, if he has one.

Danny blinks, well honesty has worked for him with all this so far. But he never would have willing outed his Core to them. Parents or not, they were still ghost hunters. And even if they weren't, well Lewis only knew because he saw It. And Lewis had caught him off guard when he told him about his Obsession and was being kinda like him. Asking what he had to for someone else’s health and safety. Oh, and the drugs; that was definitely a factor. Now his folks? The only reason they had was curiosity and maybe some misplaced worry/fear over the idea of him having one. And his Obsession was absolutely one that could be taken advantage of. Lewis and his ‘it would be helpful’ shit made that painfully obvious. And him giving him an Obsessive Crisis, while an accident, had still been partly caused by Lewis knowing. So no, not happening. And his dad would just ask questions on top of questions, likely becoming completely oblivious to sensitivity. That was kinda his dad’s thing. And his mom, well she would wonder how he satisfied it; and that would lead to the big Phantom secret.

Danny rubs his neck, glancing at his tail swishing around and vibrating a bit, “I mean? Don’t worry about it?”.

Jack nods a little, that was as good as a ‘yes’. To both an Obsession and to not wanting to talk about it. He has no idea if this is cool or not. He should probably confirm though? No assuming. “So... yes?”, and making a point to give him a sheepish look over the tail giving a little snapping thrash; he had noticed Danny’s tail seemed to give away his emotions a little. Which actually did support the possibility that ghosts were actually more emotionally sensitive.

Danny looks around awkwardly and nods a little, “um, yeah. Do you, like, need to know the, er, ‘what’ though?”, and staring at his dad a bit challengingly. As if daring him to make up some bullshit reason. If his dad, the much more curious and knowledge-hungry one, can let this go then he guesses he can trust them a bit more. Can much more genuinely believe they care more about family, about him, than ghost hunting. He already knew they loved him more than they hated ghosts, them accepting his ghostly crap was proof enough of that. And they hadn’t, like, banned him from seeing ClockWork. Not that that would be possible.

Jack’s pretty sure some might find his sons staring a bit ‘creepy’ but he’s seen it a few times, usually aimed at his friends though... and Vladdie. Who, come to think of it, was pretty good at the unnerving stare himself! As for his boy's question? He definitely wants to know! but no way he needed to. Mads would probably worry it would make him misbehave or something, but Danny-boy said not to worry and he’s gonna trust his boy! “Naw. If you don’t want to then you don’t want to. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with that!”, chuckling and smiling, Danny exhaling and smiling back after a bit. While Jack continues, “so long as it’s not making you sick or unhappy, anyway. And I’d be totally down with helping you with it! or maybe you need help figuring something out with it! Or even just wanna talk about it! I’m sure your mom would be cool with that too!”.

Danny cringes a little, “uh, sorry but no. I’d really rather not. It’s, uh, personal. Private I guess”, shrugging a little stiffly, “kinda like how I, uh, don’t want my Core being poked at”, clearing his throat, “but it’s fine. I’m fine. I keep it satisfied and in check. And it’s not something bad or anything”, shrugging and tacking on, “most generally aren’t”, partly to get away from his Obsession specifically.

Jack blinks and mutters to himself, “so Dan was right...”, making Danny cringe again as Jack shakes his head and speaks up again but at Danny, “good then. Well my offer still stands, always will!”.

Danny nods, “um, thanks”, and gives his tail a little, hopefully subtle, pat to encourage It to chill out. He’s gonna have to ask ClockWork for tail tips.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Tucker nudges Maddie, “when it comes to CW, take Danny’s warning and just don’t question their motives towards him. You know better now so he’ll be less... nice next time”.

Maddie blinks, stilling her mixing, “should I be worried?”.

(Lewis is firmly staying out of this)

Tucker chuckles and rolls his eyes, “nope, it’s a bond thing”, shaking his head, “and ClockWork saved all of us, so questioning their motive is like questioning whether all of us deserve to live to him”.

Maddie whispers, “oh”, okay that was pretty serious. She knows how protective Danny can be, especially of friends and family, so Danny’s extreme reaction made much more sense now.

Tucker nods, washing out a bowl while Lewis spoons the cookies. Maddie sits against the table as Tucker continues, “yup. And ClockWork is just as defensive of Danny”, snickering, “did you know the government of the Zone put out a hit on him once”.

Maddie chokes, whisper yelling, “what???”. Lewis just steps to the side slightly, Danny’s friends are as addicted to chaos as Danny is; he’d like to not be in the splash zone currently, the peanut gallery’s pretty appealing though.

Tucker nods, “yup. ClockWork pretty much told them to get lost. And nobody says no to ClockWork”, tilting his head, “except Danny”.

Maddie shakes her head in utter disbelief, “they're that respected or powerful?”.

Tucker shakes his head and purses his lips a little, nodding at Lewis, “it’s not just simple little humans that look at them and think ‘god’, ClockWork’s the stuff of myths and legends to the spookies”, adding purely to cover his own ass, “according to Danny anyway”.

Maddie nods, that was a bit out there. Ghosts had their own myths? That also meant culture. Were ghosts actually... highly complex and sophisticated? shaking her head a little, she would have brushed this off days ago, and puts the cookies in the oven. Frowning slightly at overhearing Jack, was he asking Danny about Obsessions? She advised him against that! Apparently, Tucker thought the same. Him sounding slightly worried, “oh, uh, wonder if I should jump in? Obsession’s kinda touchy”.

Maddie blinks, looking to Tucker, wait what? “So he... he has that”.

Tucker makes a cringe showing all his teeth and even scrunching up his neck, “I’m guessing you didn’t know that”. Making Maddie sigh.

Lewis shakes his head and chuckles, again amazed Danny has held on to any of his secrets when none of them could even keep track of what they were lying about and what they weren’t; combined with talking about shit out loud.

Maddie checks the cookies, “well I’m glad you’re close and protective of each other. Though I wish we had been told about all of this”. Tucker elects not to respond to that.

A bit later Jack and Danny turn their heads at Maddie calling that the cookies are ready. Jack promptly jumping up and dashing to the doorway; eager for brownie and cookie alike. Looking back to Danny from the entryway, “you coming?”.

Danny smiles, “yeah. Yeah I am dad”, and flicking his tail before floating over.

Tucker effectively shovels food in his mouth, looks excited and excitedly smacks Lewis arms, “fugh mun”. Then finger-gunning at Danny, “weh, I shoe gwe giong”. Making Danny laugh and finger-gun back, “you just wanted me for my food. What? Do I only have half enough physical appeal for you?”.

“Yo oh ur zezz”. Danny just wheezes at Tucker’s wink.

Lewis walks up behind him, another coffee in hand, “did he just call you sexy?”.

Danny rolls his eyes and takes the second cup from him, “Lewis, doc man, Tucker thinks everyone’s sexy. All the time. Dead. Alive. Furry. Don't matter. Everybody’s sexy af”.

Lewis quirks an eyebrow, “furry?”.

“His sona’s an otter”.

“Well alright then, all the power to him”, and lifts his cup in a little salute.

Danny scowls slightly and points at him, “no matter how chill you are, I will always remember breaking your mind via duplication”. Lewis shakes his head with a little smile.

Jack walks up and ruffles his hair, “so Danny-boy? What should we call the ClockWork fellow? ‘Cause no offence, but ‘parent’ is taken”.

Danny chuckles slightly, “uh, dad? Guardian is the actual proper term”.

Lewis points up at him, seeing as he was floating slightly above their heads, “but ‘guardian’ is synonymous with ‘parent’ for us human beings”.

Jack chuckles, “so something else for the ghost guardian of our kid's ghostliness”. Making Danny tilt his head, “uh, I’m not even sure there is a word for that. But maybe... godparent? Sure you didn’t choose them, but?”.

Lewis snorts, “of course that’s the term you’d go with for a technical god who’s also technically a parent”.

Jack laughs, “true!”, patting Danny, “and they -like Vladdie!- aren’t actually related to you! so it would make sense!”.

Danny rubs his neck and floats slightly lower down, “uh”, and looking around awkwardly.

Lewis raises his eyebrows, a bit genuinely surprised because how???? “Oh really?”.

This gets Maddie over, “did I hear that right? Are you saying you are related? To a ghost that was never alive?”.

Danny gives an awkward shrug, “bond thing. I’ve got a little bit of them. They've got a little bit of me”.

Maddie and Jack exchange a major Look over that before looking back at him. Jack grins wide and smacking a fist into his hand, “well that settles it, that ghosts a Fenton”, tilting his head, “which is not something I thought I’d ever say”.

Danny’s grin is practically beaming, “well I’m happy to hear it”.

Maddie just grins and passes around the cookies.

It doesn’t take long before the parents' minds are firmly back on the ‘make Danny legs goddamnit’ train. Maddie eyeballs his swishing tail as Lewis has him doing (unnecessary)laps and what can really only be described as tricks. Maddie walks over, following her son with he eyes; it was almost weird how normal him floating around felt now, “so, up for installing the clock timer?”.

Danny pauses and shrugs, still a little too awkward about this to just float upside down and chat or something, “I mean? Sure?”. All three of them watching Jack practically launch himself at the lab door.

Maddie and Lewis watching Danny’s eyes widen a little, before he zips towards the door; absolutely beating Jack down.

The three adults getting down to the sight of Danny flipping over and inspecting the little device; Maddie’s not even going to bother wondering how he got that out of containment.

Danny absolutely knows there were little sparkles of green flecks in his eyes as he checks the trinket over, running over the curves and edges. Eventually lifting up his head and pursing his entire face as he hits a tiny trigger and the devices shoots out confetti everywhere.

Jack almost immediately begins laughing, “oh wow! They’re a jokester!”. Like Danny!

Maddie walks up and shakes her head at the mess, “well that was rather funny though messy”.

Danny chuckles, “well if you had tried to install this before I accidentally set off the little prank then the confetti would have probably fried things. So joke, but also test slash failsafe”.

Jack tilts his head, “but they see the future right? They already know our actions before we take them”.

Danny shakes his head, “no. They just see all the possible futures. Sure they can tell what’s most likely but that doesn’t mean much”, smirking, “and even they say I’m notorious for taking the less likely paths. They, uh, actually make bets on that”.

Lewis blinks, “you mean people bet against the guy that sees all the future?”, shaking his head, “how stupid do you have to be”.

Danny shrugs, “more like egotistical, they usually bet against other future seers, ClockWork’s got a better view than them though. So...”. Lewis shakes his head more.

Jack runs over snatching up the fully repaired CyberSteps, while Maddie holds her hand out to Danny. Danny glances from the (apparently dubbed)clock timer to Maddie, “okay. Just... careful”.

Maddie nods and takes it from him gingerly, “we will be, don’t worry”. Lewis walks over to look over her shoulder at the device before she takes it over to one of the tables to examine; leaving Lewis standing next to Danny.

Lewis watches the parents for a bit before looking to Danny, who of course is practically staring at them. Lewis knows they’re far enough away from the hunter couple to go unheard; even with sound travelling a lot down here. “So obviously I know ClockWork is immortal, but I remember you implying you were practically immortal yourself. Neigh indestructible, I believe”.

Danny glances to the guy, giving him ‘seriously?’ eyebrows, before looking back to his parents. Speaking quietly, “geez doc”, shaking his head a little, “ghosts are super hard to destroy in general. Halfas are just even harder”.

Lewis nods, “so Vlad too then".

Danny snorts, "he's weaker than me”.

“Yeah I think that’s obvious”, Danny was obviously stupid strong. This gets Danny to curl up a bit and laugh. While Lewis continues, “speaking of that one, just how dangerous is he?”, considering he might just have pissed him off. Lewis could do without more ghostly drop-ins.

Danny digs out his phone from his brace and flips through his photos while speaking, “he’s a nine. Lots of reasons for the lower level. Made by weaker and less ecto; contaminated ecto too. My age is a factor too and being exposed to ecto for, like, my whole life”. Glancing at him, “his real danger is he’s stupid smart and has enough cash to go nuts with”, chuckling, “like the cloning thing. That’s one way to get a kid at fourteen though”.

Lewis raises his eyebrows at that, again this kid’s life was ridiculous, “not sure that counts as ‘kid’”.

Danny smirks, “Vlad fucked up. We’re not identical, just closely genetically related”, chuckling, “she’s a little three-foot-tall twelve-year-old travelling nomad. In London right now I think”, tilts his head and shrugs.

Lewis shakes his head with a sigh, “congrats, just like Eddie you have a kid without getting anyone pregnant”., shrugging, “though Eddie’s is technically in the works”.

Danny laughs, “least Elle’s not natural”, holding his phone out to the guy, “here’s a pic of her kicking Vlad in the face”.

Lewis leans over, huh, someone would have to be blind to not notice the family resemblance. White hair, green eyes, black and white jumpsuit, DP symbol, stupid cheeky grin; a Phantom through and through. The other guy though, looks like a knockoff bramstrocker; the vampire jokes officially make sense. “Well alright, cute kid; I can practically smell trouble maker on her”, tapping his nail on the screen, “why’s Vlad look so different though?”.

Danny shrugs, “adult thing or something. Spookies change their appearance sometimes”.

Jack actually comments on that, “we’re honestly not sure at this point if they do that for aesthetic or it just happens because they got stronger!”. Maddie coming over as well, clock timer in hand. Danny’s more than a little pleased that it doesn’t look like they took it apart at all. Good.

Maddie holds it up, “I think I’m willing to trust this and it’s definitely compatible”, looking to Danny, “it’ll only work around the waist though and won’t function as a conductor”.

Jack nods and gestures with his hands a little wildly, “so we’ll just rip out the timer stuff from our conductor! And leave the conductor where it is!”, nodding curtly with a grin before pausing, “if that’s cool with you, of course”.

Danny smiles, “that’s fine, apparently I’m flexible enough to reach”, stretching to make a point, “even with the braces”.

Lewis grumbles, “just don’t break them”. Danny has cost the hospital a lot of money at this point. Sure medicine wise and room wise he saved them money, but all the braces, having to recast his arm, the extremely expensive wheelchair that he can’t believe Mrs. Levi actually signed off on (sure all he had to do was show the insanely high and unusual injures Amity Parker’s tended to get -especially minors- and she gave her approval immediately), the patient file bug Tucker made that the tech guy said he’d have nightmares over, and the fact that they got investigated by a very shady section of the government (that not-rain stuff almost forced the entire hospital into quarantine).

Jack beams and rushes off to the CyberSteps, dragging Maddie along with. Danny’s pretty sure the legs look more defined, more finished, than when he last saw them; or this was just a finished version since basically everything but the timer conductor was likely as perfect as it could be.

Danny makes damn sure his folks are preoccupied with the legs before looking back to Lewis, snatching his phone away since the guy started flipping through his photos, “seriously doc? Rude”.

Lewis just shrugs, “you’re the one who gave me your phone. Besides, you’re interesting and I’m curious. Nice castle. Doesn’t seem your style though”.

Danny huffs and rolls his eyes, “excuse me for thinking you, a doctor married to a lawyer, had some manners”, crossing his arms and muttering down at them, “sure I would’ve done the same but still”, looking back to Lewis, “and I didn't design that, Pariah did. I’ll change it when I take the throne”, shrugging, “it’s an automatic thing. Lairs are weird like that. Ecto-construct and all that”.

Lewis nods, yeah lairs bent to the need, personality, and somewhat the will of its ghost; if he’s remembering that correctly. Smirking a little, “let me guess, it’ll reholposter itself black n’ white?”.

Danny smirks right back, “what can I say? I know my colours and I wear them proud. The white of life and the black of death”.

Lewis shakes his head and leans against the wall, “speaking of castles and thrones, still can’t say I understand how a crown and ring could make someone able to absorb and feed an entire dimension. And if you’re the sorta will of Zone then could you modify it like a lair? And what about the Zone needing a king eventually? Is that a sooner or later kind of thing?”, tilting his head, “and with that, if you got destroyed would the universe eventually just die?”.

Danny gives him a truly pained look, “you wrote this shit down, didn't you”, scowling at the doctor's small nod. Danny side-eyes his parents to make sure they’re still absorbed in their work, before answering, “alright, it works like this: the ring has a negative glow so it can pass as a regular ring, because it -unlike other ecto things- strictly absorbs ectoplasm instead of shedding ectoplasm. While the crown is the opposite, it only sheds and doesn’t absorb; hence why it practically blazes off ectoplasm. The ring absorbs the Zone’s ectoplasm, the Crown sheds off the wears ectoplasm plus whatever they absorbed in from the Zone. Kinda like the wearers a heart and the ring and crown are valves”.

Lewis smirks approvingly, “that’s a very doctorly comparison of you”.

Danny snorts, “it works and you’re a doctor. Anyway. Yeah having that much energy following through a little tiny body’s a lot but-”, shrugging, “-like I’ve said, I’m used to dealing with things that are a lot. And my consciousness, sorta, would be carried though all that ecto. So I’d pretty much have an awareness of the whole Zone and every ghost. Which yes, means I could modify it like a lair. Not quite the same though. The Zone would be part of me yeah, part of my ectoplasm and what my folks seemed to have called my ecto-circulatory system; but the Zone wouldn’t be my lair, just an extension of my being. And I can’t just modify my body willy nilly”, tilting his head, “well it’s base state anyway”. Danny forms an eye on his hair to wink at the guy just for emphasis.

Lewis quirks an eyebrow, at least he was pretty immune to body horror shit, “so you’re effectively a battery, heart, and food for the Zone, but also are -will be- literally the Zone. You’re gonna be a dimension”.

Danny actually laughs a little into his hand at that, giving Lewis a little shoulder pat with his tail, “that’s a great way to put it!”, shaking his head with a smile, “yeah I’ve got a crazy future existence. And for that one question, it’s a long time in the future. The Zone’s probably good to run off the stockpile of Pariah for a few hundred more years. Well, unless something happens anyway”. Which, with his luck, was probable. Heck, he’s pretty sure Sam and Tucker have a bet going on whether or not it’ll happen before or after they graduate, before or after his parents eventually... pass away, or before or after they do. Shaking his head and firmly pushing away thoughts of anyone dying, “and no man, currently my destruction won’t end the universe. The Zone will latch on to someone else... eventually. Now if I was king, that would be an issue since the Zone would decay right”, chuckling, “though in that case the throne would just be passed down to Elle”.

Lewis blinks, “oh, so it’s tied to your lineage? Instead of exclusive to you”.

“Yup, the typical royalty shtick”, tapping his chin, “though I think Sam and Tuck are classed as my brethren so they might kinda have a level of claim too. Dora, FrostBite, and Pandora are sorta family too. But they’re all complicated. And course, if I married then whoever would have their own claim”, and shrugs, “I wouldn’t put it past Vlad to try and wiggle his way in too”.

Lewis sighs, “nothing is ever simple with you is it? And you have more ghost family? Really?”.

Danny shrugs awkwardly at that, “kinda? It’s weird man and not to the level of Clocky. Not even close”, grinning a little, “Dora sees me as the good protective older brother she never got to have. Pandora sees me as like a nephew or sorta godchild, ever since I got her box back. FrostBite’s kinda a mentor in all things icy, kinda worships me as some kind of chosen one, and they’re my doctor too sometimes”.

Lewis blinks at that, “wait, you have a specialised doctor? Then why the Hell don’t you use them”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “of course that’s the part you care about mr. Doctor man. I can handle my own shit and I do go to him for serious shit I can’t just handle myself”. Making Lewis sigh and shake his head, completely unimpressed. The boy had access to medical care and just... didn’t use it. Thinking of the whole setting Danny’s arm after he literally crashed though the car. Or at least he didn’t take advantage of medical care unless it was literally within arms reach.

Maddie picks that moment to bolt over with a grin on her face, grabbing at Danny’s hand; Jack in the background looks to be throwing his fist up in a cheer.

Danny rolls his eyes with a smile and lets her drag him off; Lewis studiously following after. Lewis seriously hoping this time doesn’t result in yet another negative reaction.

Danny looks over the CyberSteps, floating around them quickly. Putting his hands on the waist and peering down, tapping the off-centre clock timer with his tail tip, “looks good”. The very tip coiling around one of the clock hands a little, he likes it; it kinda felt like ClockWork. Pointedly ignoring Lewis’s slight chuckle. Jerk.

Maddie and Jack both watch tensely but ridiculously excited all the while, as Danny grips the waist and slips his tail in, hopefully having to test out the ‘legs’ for the last time.

Danny glances over his shoulder brace as he activates the neuroreceptor strip, watching it all snap on over the back brace; which Lewis is probably still unimpressed about. Then tilting his head, the draining felt practically the same as before; and it didn’t seem to be making his ecto freak. So that’s a check on the conductor. Looking down at the legs and quirking an eyebrow at the little clock timers clock hands spinning around. His mom obviously noticing, “I’m pretty sure that’s what it does when it’s calibrating, sweetie”. Which Danny nods at and decides to wait, going to try moving the legs once the clock hands chill out. And the toes/boot tips successfully bend upwards.

And with that, one Danny Fenton was no longer legless on main

FIN.

JK JK JK

Lewis watches as Danny wiggles the toes and bounces up on said toes some, before actually taking a few steps around. The movements were definitely a little jerky and he wasn’t moving them quite right, it was very much like he was trying out limbs he hadn’t had before. If Lewis were to guess, he’d say that’s likely because these robotic leg prosthetics didn’t work exactly the same as natural legs; so logically he’d have to learn how to pilot them properly. Watching Jack and Maddie stand in-front of him and all three pretty well beaming at each other; Jack even doing a little jig or something (whatever it is, Danny clearly finds it embarrassing). It was obvious Danny was proud of what his folks made, even if he didn’t honestly need it. Frankly he’s pretty sure Danny’s proud of the things his parents make in general, he just hadn’t liked the anti-ghost foundation they were built upon. Sure seemed they had gotten better about that though. Which is good, since the universe -somewhat technically- depended on that.

Lewis nods once and walks closer -having given the family their little moment- and pats Danny’s arm brace, “well looks like you can walk upon this earth again. Though maybe practice”, pausing for a beat before adding, “no kicking people”.

Danny blinks at Lewis, “no kidding doc. Literal steel toes here”.

Lewis chuckles and gives his two (adult)friends pats, “congrats, you just made a breakthrough in probably a lot of fields, but most relevant to me, medical science. You’re officially scary smart. But-”, turning to Danny because the kid’s supposed to be injured and recovering. Gesturing at the neuroreceptor strip, “you. While this is great and all, you had back surgery. So I’m restricting use till your braces are good to come off and I check your spine out”. Honestly, he should outright ban it.

Danny sticks his hands to the side and pouts a little, “oh come on doc”.

Lewis crosses his arms, “most doctors wouldn’t have even let you test them or wear them at all”. Danny rubs his neck at that.

Maddie gives Lewis a sweet smile, “well thanks for letting us do this and I think we all understand”, looking to Danny, “right Danny?”. Danny grumbles incoherently but nods.

Jack taps at his chin, watching Danny walk around a bit more, “what I don’t get, is how you moved the ones that didn’t work at all smoothly but these ones are being a bit jerky or over-exaggerated? Even if you originally weren’t working them even close to smooth with the tail”.

Danny shrugs, “uh, well I’ve never had brain to mechanics connections like this before. My brain and ecto might just, like I don’t know, learn how these interpret stuff?”.

Lewis nods immediately because that was actually true really for learning how to work any prosthetic, “there’s a learning curve with any prosthetic, they never move the exact same as the originals”, tilting his head, “and if what you’re thinking of Danny’s ghost being somewhat active is right, then the tail wouldn’t be truly new; simply normally inaccessible. Which you’ve effectively already implied to be the case to explain his ease of adapting. So his fine motor skills with his tail should be quite good, which would allow for it to take very little time for him to figure out how to grasp or say, move things, with said tail”, and nods curtly to himself. Pretty content with his explanation.

Danny decidedly says nothing though Lewis just gave him a pretty damn good out. His parents' nods and smiles make that obvious.

Jack goes wide-eyed, coming upon an idea and blurting out, “ClockWork!”, then looking at his slightly confused looking son, “you said that ClockWork only has a tail! And that you’re basically related! Ghostly related!”. Everyone gives him slightly confused eyebrow quirks, so he explains himself, “so maybe your ghost took after them and just has a tail too!”.

Maddie blinks and grins, “that does make sense”, ruffling Danny’s hair, “so that explains that“. Danny just shrugs, ‘cause in their mind, there’s no way he should know what his ghost looks like. But also, yeah, him being so comfortable and good with this was totally ClockWork’s fault. And he totally loves them for it. Intentionally swishing his tail around in the legs, kinda weird that he could move his tail without moving his legs. How in the heck is his brain -or ectoplasm maybe, Core?- differentiating between tail and legs? He’s totally going to fidget with his tail during class. No one will ever know! “Well still too bad my walking skills have gotten a bit rusty”.

Lewis glances at his watch, pretty late; it would probably be the ‘responsible’ thing to encourage a normal -or as normal as possible for a teenage superhero whose enemies seem to prefer the night- sleep schedule.  “Alright, I know you probably want to celebrate all this but at the very least Danny should reestablish a proper sleep schedule. Sleep is vital for healing and health after all”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “all doctor, all the time, huh?”.

“Says mr. Helpful”. Danny scowls at that, because not the same. Not the fucking same. Though if the doc became a ghost his Obsession would probably be the same but maybe more curious ‘I wonder what will happen if’.

Danny looks around, “well first, can’t we at least have supper?”. Jack’s stomach growls as if being summoned, making everyone laugh.

While Maddie gets to work making food, Jack and Lewis basically talk each other’s ears off with how the legs even worked at all; ‘cause Lewis is just stunned but intrigued and Jack is utterly excited. Danny sneaks up the stairs, totally unused to how damn loud these feet were; he’s gonna have to work on that because he loves how easily he can even accidentally sneak up silently on people.

Danny stops in front of Jazz’s door and promptly kicks it in; the door simply opening loudly instead of being blown off its hinges purely because all the doors in the house were built to handle getting rammed and blasted.

“Zone! Danny! Why in the Zone are you kicking in doors!”. Jazz pauses, “wait, you kicked it in”, looking to his legs and leaping up, “holy shit Danny! You’ve got legs!”, rushing over and pinching the CyberSteps, “can you actually feel this?!?!”.

Danny grins stupidly, puts his hands on his hips, and poses ridiculously, “yup, totally can”, tilting his head, “not quite the same though”.

Jazz practically jumps on him and hugs him around the neck, “oh who cares! This is great Danny!”, letting go and brushing off his braces, “I bet mom and dad were just stoked”.

Danny nods almost sheepishly, “oh definitely”, cringing a little, “dad did a jig”, making her cringe as he continues, “Lewis also crushed their spirits a little by limiting my leg time. Though we are still baking eggies to celebrate my leggies”, and grins.

Jazz sighs with a head shake, “I was wondering if they forgot about supper again”.

“Oh they did”.

Jazz blinks, “of course they did”.

Lewis walks in, arms crossed and judgmental eyebrow raised, “there you are. You do realise I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on the kid who broke basically everything, should have died, is in braces and bandages, and is now trying out brand new experimental prosthetics that interact with his brain and the spine he broke”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “geez tell me what you really mean”.

Jazz pokes Danny, “he does have a point you know. You are supposed to be injured”. Danny scowls at her but rounds on Lewis, sticking his arms out to the side, “so when can I obliterate these things”.

“Never. They’re hospital property. Casts can’t be reused, braces can”.

Jazz immediately cringes at that, Danny’s the one to speak though, “you don’t want to do that. I bet you ten bucks these are all ecto-contaminated. And I doubt you want them coming to life, or death really, and trying to eat someone’s arm or something”.

Lewis blinks, “alright, you can destroy them”, that would be a lawsuit waiting to happen. A very strange lawsuit. ‘My arm brace came to life and ate my firstborn’, would certainly be a new one.

Danny grins wickedly and promptly bursts into blue flames, actually managing to make Lewis jump back and Jazz yelp.

Lewis watches the ashes of the braces flutter to the ground, before giving (the no longer on fire)Danny an exasperated look, “I didn’t mean now”, squinting, “and how did you not burn the CyberSteps?”.

Danny creates a flame over his fingers, “ecto-fire”, pointing the other hand at the CyberSteps, “anti-ecto”, then adding, “only a little though, otherwise it would be anti-me”.

Lewis shakes his head, “can’t have that now can we?”. Danny grins and points out the door, promptly walking off at Lewis saying, “so long as an adult who knows your ecto or tech is around you”.

Lewis looks to Jazz, “he certainly seems better for his ghostliness, doesn’t he”.

Jazz smiles soft and sweet, “I used to worry about him, even got the vice principal to force him to see a therapist. But once I found out, it made sense and I knew he was okay. That not only was he good mentally, or as good as he could be, but also just good as a person”, giggling a little, “now of course I still worry, that’s what sisters do after all. But he’s a day at a time mentally, there isn’t exactly a standard for a halfa, for being mentally two species that are really opposites; and Vlad’s not exactly a good example. He needs a therapist more than Danny does”.

Lewis chuckles at that and nods, “can’t say I disagree. Though I wouldn't say Danny particularly comes off as someone who needs therapy, he hides his traumas well. Which, well, hiding things from a therapist equals not getting effective therapy”.

Jazz gives him a smile that practically reads ‘you misunderstand’, “that’s because he’s at the stage of acceptance now”, Lewis quirks an eyebrow so she explains, “people grieve when someone dies, and I believe the dead grieve their death just as much if not more”, nodding a little to herself, “at first he tried to convince himself nothing had changed, the abilities would just wear off; he even went through an ‘I’m not dead!’ phase, that came later though”.

Lewis tips his head, “well to be fair, most people don’t expect to be dead but still walking around, and half-dead just sounds impossible. So thinking he’s not dead seems more like being logical than being in denial”.

Jass gives him an almost pitying look, “yeah but he was apparently pretty desperate and freaked about it. Less simple logic and having an issue with the impossible, more desperation to deny what they know is true”.

Lewis nods, ah okay Danny definitely had a harder time than he had thought. He’s kinda glad he didn’t meet Danny back then because again, he’s not good at dealing with freaking out breaking down emotional types.

Jazz nods and keeps going, “Sam and Tucker said they effectively had to convince him not to just tell his parents and beg them to fix him once he realised things weren’t going away. He hated the powers, the changes; that’s the point when I noticed something was up, that he seemed depressed. I pushed for the therapy when he started being just angry, all the time”.

Lewis nods, “ah, I guess that does sound like grieving. In that case, I’m glad he’s in the acceptance stage”.

Jazz grins, she certainly was, “same. His Obsession, his friends -especially the ghost ones-, the weird love/hate thing the town has for him; I think all that helped. Which is how I imagine it is typically for most ghosts; minus the last one”, pointing at him, “though I think you've helped with acceptance, he seems less affected by your name, and those blue flames he used there?”, grinning wider, “many times he’s refused to ever use that, so somethings happened there”.

Lewis blinks, ah the pyrokinesis was probably a power ‘Dan’ had and used liberally. “I may have effectively reasoned with his Obsession why he shouldn’t fear certain futures and that it would make him a shittier king. Used ClockWork too, or more so a quote Danny made of them”.

Jazz raises her eyebrows, “you must think pretty differently for that to have worked out”, frowning slightly, “I’d watch it, taking advantage of his Obsession too often will start coming off as malicious to the Obsession”.

Lewis shrugs, yeah he kinda figured that one. Like tempting Vee with chocolate. Eventually you’ll lose a few fingers. Literally. “I’m not one for social queues, living or dead ones. And he’d make a good surgeon, very helpful. And telling me things is helpful. And sure, I may have given him an Obsessive Crisis but my reasoning was sound”.

Jazz blinks, walks over, and smacks him over the head, “how has Danny not assaulted you yet?!?”.

Lewis takes it in stride, he had been smacked a great many times for insensitivity, and smirks, “might be that my whole career is helpful, I’m a helper all the same. Protecting people from the outcomes of their stupidity like shoving a cheese grater up their ass or eating nails”.

Jazz goes a little wide-eyed, “that actually makes sense. Obsession similarity is a major comradery thing for ghosts”, pausing, “also, is that really a common thing people do? Though the nails probably had something to do with pica”.

“We keep a white board of all the things people have shoved up their asses, one guy’s made it on the board multiple times; I admire the tenacity”, Lewis smirks as she gives him a strange look and just moves to head downstairs.

They come down to a slightly concerned-looking Danny sitting backwards on the couch but resting his chin over the back of the couch, watching his parents. Looking to Lewis when he notices them and making ‘psst’ noises at him; which makes Lewis wonder if he’s being hissed at for a bit, which considering the upstairs conversation would make some sense.

Jazz heads into the kitchen while Lewis walks over to Danny.

Danny scuttles over and hiss whispers, “so I wasn’t sure if me actually being braceless was, like, a good thing? ‘Cause, like, maybe you know otherwise and I, like an idiot, didn’t confirm things-”.

Lewis chooses to cut off what’s definitely going to be a ramble, “it’s fine, Danny. Honesty, I was considering removing them entirely pretty soon here. You’re fine”.

Danny grins and gives a little relieved sigh, before looking slightly freaked again and gesturing to his chest, his bare heavily scared toned chest, “also totally forgot about the bandaging. I mean what am I, a wire stripper?”.

Lewis is pretty sure most people would find how he goes from flesh straight to metal more eye-catching than the scarring; even if it was pretty major. Danny’s likely more worried about Jack and Maddie seeing though. And well, Danny being completely healed was very obvious this way. Which might be pushing it, “yeah, you look too healthy like this”.

Danny blinks, “I wasn’t actually thinking of that but point”. Lewis gestures up the stairs, so they head up to Danny’s (still uncleaned)room to redo bandaging.

Lewis shakes his head while unrolling bandaging, “you’d think you’d be encouraged to clean after your encounter”. Danny rolls his eyes and holds out his arms after disconnecting the CyberSteps. Lewis pauses and taps his chin, thinking of it, “actually, let’s just bandage where you had the most serious damage”.

So Lewis gets to work on the waist wrapping, again noting how strange Danny coming to a totally smooth flat end is. He’s going to have to pin the blame on Danny’s tail if his friends ask, because this is not only not medical standard but medically impossible. Not to mention physically impossible, so many half cut off organs and where the heck are his intestines? His poor digestive system; and that’s ignoring his lower excretory system being basically non-existent. He’d lose his license if he took credit here. Muttering mostly to himself, “how the Hell do you shit”.

Danny blinks before bursting out laughing, “did you seriously just ask that?!?!?”, shaking his head, “doc? Anyone ever tell you you’re weird?”.

Lewis smirks, “all the time”.

Danny smirks himself, “ghosts ‘excrete’ everything via shedding off ectoplasm, so what do you think”, and points at his tail, which is currently waving intangibly through Lewis. Danny, for kicks, makes It shed more noticeably; just to fuck with the guy a little.

Lewis pauses and side-eyes the tail, “is that... sanitary?”. Making Danny fall backwards on the bed cackling. Lewis has so many questions. Does his ectoplasm just burn it up? and it comes off kinda like smoke? Or does his ectoplasm digest it for fuel? Danny did imply he could get by on just ectoplasm (which a human can’t do) or just food (which a ghost can’t do).

Danny puts an arm over his eyes and wheezes, “nothing can survive the ecto, oh man. Haha. Does a better job than bleach”, and wheezes some more.

Lewis nods, moving to Danny’s chest -because honestly, what in there hadn’t been obliterated. Other than the Core and even that was hurt- and unrolling more, “well that’s good then”. Making quick work of the chest and grabbing Danny’s left hand up.

Danny chuckles, “yeah, I crushed, like, everything in that one”.

Lewis starts wrapping very quickly at the sound of an explosion outside and icy mist leaving Danny’s mouth. Ghosts and their timing. Managing to finish before Danny transforms and zips off through his window; leaving Lewis to stand up, put his hands on his hips, and shake his head.

Danny glances around, pretty sure he can smell something really strange that he’s never smelled before but ignores that at promptly spotting Red shooting at Boxy, Danny floats over, “I’m guessing you don’t really need or want my help here?”.

Red opens her visor purely to scowl at him and shoots the Box Ghost without even looking, “fuck off, Phantom”.

“YOUR DISTRACTION WILL BE YOUR DOOM!!!! AND MY BOXY REVENG-”. Getting cut off via a rocket to the mouth and both teens telling him to shut up. Red promptly capturing him and rounding on Danny.

Danny quirks an eyebrow because her just cutting off a Boxy beat down was weird. Red snaps at him, “obviously you've noticed shit’s up with the Fenton’s, so you better be leaving them alone, spook”.

Danny nods a little, “kinda easy to notice when those two are or aren’t out hunting”, continuing at it feeling like she’s squinting at him, “I ain’t pestering them, Red”. It’s true. Phantom wasn’t technically pestering his parents. Fenton was.

Red studies him for a bit before nodding and appears to sigh, “well the sons got a ghost tail now, like you guys”, Danny changes his legs to a tail for example, which she points at, “yeah, that. And you’re not too terribly evil and he slammed his face into a wall trying to use the thing”.

Danny gives a mock very offended, “hey”. Before blinking and going slightly wide-eyed at a realisation, “wait, are you asking me to teach him?”, how does he get himself into this kind of shit?

Red huffs, “you're supposed to be this town’s ‘protector’ and dealer with ghost shit, it’s supposedly your job”, then adding with bite and meaning, “unless you don’t actually care about people and just like fighting”, shrugging, “and even you wouldn’t be stupid or reckless enough to mess with the youngest child of ghost hunters”. Any ghost that did mess with Jazz or Danny probably saw Hell from the Fenton’s. And Phantom might be literally the only ghost Danny wouldn’t run away from. Maybe. And wasn’t there that time the house came to life or something and Danny and Phantom both helped with that?

Danny blinks, “yeah, I’m not stupid. Still remember Jack punching -yeah, punching, not shooting- Plasmius to a pulp for screwing with the Fenton family”. That was one of Danny’s favourite memories.

Red blinks, opening her visor again and just leaving it that way, “that really happened? Damn”, she’s never felt genuinely impressed by Jack before.

Danny nods, “yup, and Red? Our bodies, the floating, that shit comes naturally. It’s not taught”.

Red snaps, “but he’s not a ghost, Phantom”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “ghost body part. Same thing. And our bodies ain’t all the same you know”.

Red points at his tail, “well his and yours move similar, so there”.

Danny pointedly doesn’t look sheepish or anything at that, he should just agree -fuck his luck- before she starts pointing out other similarities, “geez fine”, pausing and floating a bit closer, “wait, you haven’t been just asking every ghost you see to play teacher, have you?”, for the love of the Ancients say no.

Red scowls at him and refuses to back up, “I’m not a moron either, Phantom. Just you”, squinting, “why?”.

Danny backs off a little and shrugs, “ghost social thing. It’s a few phrases shy of asking a ghost to adopt someone. Which would be kinda mean”, tilting his head, “if you asked Skulker that, you probably would never see Danny again”, if Danny Fenton was a regular human (with a ghost tail somehow) and couldn’t beat Skulker’s face in, anyways.

Red blinks, “what? You’re not ‘adopting’ him“.

Danny rolls his eyes, “well obviously. What you asked could just be taken that way. But I’m still a child so it don’t matter”.

Red shakes her head, “you ghosts are strange. Don’t adopt Danny, just give him tail tips or something”.

Danny snorts and chuckles, “just the tip?”, and pokes her board with his tail tip quickly before zipping away cackling. Red growls and shoots at him while shouting, “you disgust me!”.

Lewis had eventually wandered down into the kitchen, everyone raising the eyebrows at him, probably over Danny’s absence, “decided to take the chance to check up on Danny’s healing and wrapping. He’s stretching out his new bandaging and taking a break from the prosthetics”, nodding curtly, “the braces aren’t really needed anymore”. Jazz giggles quietly.

Maddie and Jack beam, Jack practically cheering, “awesome!”. Both of them super glad to hear that he genuinely as okay as he keeps insisting he is. His ecto likely being to blame, which is okay.

Just then Danny comes back, sticking his head through the kitchen doorway before pausing, “shit! Forgot my shirt”, and ducks his head before zipping back upstairs. Shouting down at everyone laughing or giggling or snorting, “its been a while since I’ve worn clothes alright! I’ve got hardware and software, but no underwear!”.

Lewis actually laughs at that, “pretty sure that’s one thing you don’t need!”, and speaks up again as Danny renters, “you know, a stripper that crushed both her knees said that to me once”. Making pretty much everyone choke.

Maddie steamrolls right over the adult implications of that and plates the eggs. Lewis raising an eyebrow, “eggs for supper? That’s weird”.

Danny coughs and gives Lewis an ‘I can’t believe you just said that’ look and promptly takes the opening, “that's not weird, your pants are weird”.

Lewis looks down, “they’re just sweat pants”, then pauses, wait that sounded familiar. Looking back up and shaking his head, “you really just quoted a commercial for eggs at me”.

Danny grins like he’s the cat that caught the canary, “you started it, doc”.

Maddie grins, digging into her food. Danny seemed more confident. She’s not sure if Lewis just had that effect on him or if it was because of him not utterly hiding his ghostliness around them anymore and them giving the good ghosts thing a real chance. Which made her think it’s all worth it. Trusting a ghost or too, being more neutral about ghosts, rethinking the science; and getting her son back more genuinely, knowing him better, was a great deal. Even if that meant her and Jack had practically been villains to Phantom and other maybe good ghosts; which was an uncomfortable thought. Because really? if ghosts could be good then Phantom being a hero was practically undeniable. And who shoots at a hero? Villains.

Seeing Danny in a loose long sleeve makes her unable to really feel bad though, he looked genuinely like himself again. His hand being bandaged up was a reminder of his injuries however; and she can see a bit peaking out of his collar. Glancing at his other hand, when had he gotten scars there? Though more importantly, how had she never noticed??? Or did his recent injuries scar over that fast. Both were a little concerning. Though she knows he’ll have scarring, Dan said as much.

Lewis’s phones goes off with a big fat ‘fuck you’ from Eddie for not saving any brownies and a pic of stew which was probably meant to be some kind of ‘well look what I made and you can’t have’. Lewis just sends back ‘who did the cooking? ‘Cause if it’s you Eddie, I think I’m good’ predictably getting swears in return. Lewis decides to take a photo of what he’s eating, answering Danny’s raised eyebrow, “Eddie made stew and is attempting to brag about that”.

“I hope there wasn’t any potatoes or baked beings”.

Jazz smacks him over the head while Lewis scrunches up his eyebrows, because that... that was actually something they would do. Getting a response from Vee reading ‘FRIED BABY BIRD NICE' didn’t help. Lewis shakes his head at Danny, muttering, “don’t give them ideas”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “well then I hope you don’t let Vee near your feet”, Lewis gives him some confused eyebrows so Danny smirks and continues very smugly, “they might want some men toes for their breath afterwards”. Lewis sighs. Jack and Maddie just look confused though.

While Danny finally wakes up the next morning, Maddie watches Lewis start breakfast. Jack is attempting to wake up himself with a cold shower. And Jazz has been up for a while sipping tea and reading in her room.

Danny stretches out a little, telekinetically dragging over the CyberSteps and slipping in; this was basically what he was going to be doing for however long in place of underwear. And fuck it, he’s not gonna bother with pants. Kinda pointless and he’s owning his metal. Might as well. Nabbing up his comfortable sweater, the one that never catches on bandaging. Twisting his upper body back and forth, didn’t seem like it would catch on the neuroreceptors either. Nice.

It was honestly still kinda strange walking again, using metal to do that was just a little bit weirder. Cool as shit too though.

Danny turns to the door at hearing a shout of: “IT’S NOT JUST US! YES!”. So he heads downstairs and thus walks into the sight of Lewis staring in confused curiosity at a pan he’s holding with three screaming grill-cheese sandwiches in it. One sprouts a little hand and tries to grab a fork, Lewis just bats it away like a misbehaving cat’s paw; a dirty look on his face all the while.

Danny walks in and looks down, “uh, congrats doc it’s a girl... I think”.

Lewis quirks an eyebrow, “you can tell?”.

Danny scowls, "no, I was making a fucking joke, doc".

Maddie puts her hands on her hips, "language Danny”. Catching Danny slightly off guard and making him blush, “oh um uh, sorry?”. Maddie just shakes her head.

Sam and Tucker barge in while Lewis lifts up the pan, “obviously this is inedible for us, but you?”. Danny gives him a serious ‘are you fucking me’ look.

Maddie immediately butts in, “why would-”, and cuts herself off, going wide-eyed. Looking to Danny, “actually, could you? Do you... want to try?”.

Jack practically bolts over, having just caught that, “oh that would be so cool! We wouldn’t have to scrap food so often!”.

Sam and Tucker come over grinning meanly at him. Tucker speaking up, “do it coward. Be a man”, Sam kicks him. Sam looks over the pan, unphased by the screaming and weird bubbling, but scowls at the cheese; or what once was cheese, “you already stole the poor cows milk, don’t insults them more by trashing it”.

Danny mutters at the floor, “I feel like I’m being ganged up on here”, though obviously not actually bothered. His mom makes him laugh though when she hands him a glass of ‘help you swallow it down’ milk. Danny takes it and looks to Sam with a smirk, “now I know you reject milk, but hopefully you’re not lack-toes-intolerant”.

The two teens look down at his feet, about to comment that he had those again, Tucker giving a little nod, “huh, no toes”.

Danny just chuckles, wiggles his ‘toes’, “hope you like roboots”, everyone sighs and the grill-cheeses scream a little more, which absolutely grabs Danny’s attention. Turning to the pan, “okay, now you are getting eaten. Feed my cyborgans”.

Sam mutters, “Ancients damnit, Danny”. While Danny grabs one of the sandwiches, smacks one of the other ones that tried to bite him, and cuts off the one he grabbed’s screaming by biting It with fake aggression.

Sam and Tucker both start laughing, while the adults all just kinda watch with bated breaths. Maddie’s pretty sure she can actually see him absorbing ectoplasm through his skin off the -what should they call It?- ecto-sandwich. Was certainly interesting that this was even technically safe for him. His Core would just eat all the ectoplasm before it could even possibly cause issues. And that ecto-immunity Jack considered him to have should mean all his human stuff can handle the ectoplasm; possibly even good for him. Feed his ghostly stuff, which probably only got anything from how contaminated the town and house were. Or maybe his Core could convert human food to ectoplasm, just like how food in general here could become ectoplasmic.

Jack sounds more than a little excited, “so! How’s it taste!?!”.

Danny rolls his eyes, slightly embarrassed, “spicy cream cheese”. Jack looking excitedly giddy just makes Danny genuinely blush, though a bit happy that he made him happy. And he was actually hungry so fuck it, he’s eating his sandwich; that much ecto making his eyes green be damned.

Maddie makes a point to not react to his eyes going green -like they had when his ectoplasm was overcharged she notes- as Danny finishes off the ecto-wich. Lewis laughs and just shoves the pan at him.

Danny grumbles, “anyone else would get burned you know”. Lewis just shrugs with a grin as he moves to make something else, but vegan suitable; which hopefully won’t come to life. Everyone else -except Sam who chooses to lean against the wall- sit around the table. Jack and Maddie making a point to ignore the oddness of Danny woofing down the other two plasumwiches -much better name- straight out of the pan; the cold of his skin contacting the pan making a little bit of steam. Lewis attempts to take a subtle photo but of course Danny notices, giving the most suspicious sounding, “what's up doc?”, Lewis thinks is even possible.

“Eddie will get a kick out of this. Thing’s cropped, curb your paranoia”. Danny’s only response is a huff. The response Lewis gets back from Eddie nearly makes him choke though: Vee’s face sandwiched between bread and Eddie biting it/them; Lewis isn’t going to ask why he’s not wearing a shirt, but is wearing a tacky necklace (and of course his brackets, but he never takes those off). Lewis decides screw it, Danny’s friends knew, were just as weird, and that chat thing Tucker set up was almost disturbingly secure -yet they still used codes like paranoid little fuckers, and they were at least kinda cool with aliens; so he tosses the photo into the group chat, with a password to view though ‘cause why not be paranoid too; though it’s an obvious one.

Tucker, not surprising the doctor in the least, is the first to check and chokes on his food.

PDAXpda: @everyone

PDAxpda: what

PDAxpda: pray tell

PDAxpda: the fuck is that

Tiethief: space monster

Tiethief: and reporter mouth

NightShade: you suck at names

NightShade: @DPain do yer job

Just a little later Danny checks his phone and wigs out. His hair fluffing up a little like some anime bullshit, the legs swinging around probably ‘cause his tail is wiggling or something a bunch, the ecto in his eyes making tiny little sparks; Jack and Maddie watching the reaction more so with awe and curiosity than unnerved worry.

DPain: hdieksnhrjsHHUDJjhhudikwdhjHhdnsjdkoajbdhuejzk

DPain: zhHhudjnshakbusfjkabjhUSJJNhdkakbsjbuijdh

DPain: TINY MURDER COBOOB IS BLOB

DPain: TINY MURDERY ALIEN BLOB

DPain: FUCK ME DADSY

DPain: anyway

DPain: cjsinsbdhaihujsmkfhdkajhdnfcjai

DPain: space mon fine

DPain: othera meat puppet

DPain: djiafdwih

DPain: best blob be nommed

PDAxpda: first look at murder goo

Lewis looks up at the ceiling as he pockets his phone before spooning out the stir fry. Less breakfasty, but more edible. Giving Sam Tucker’s veggies and throwing some real bacon bits into Tucker’s. Danny takes a small plate even though he ate three bloody sandwiches -maybe the ectoplasm went somewhere else and thus didn’t fill him up?- and munches still looking overly excited.

Sam points her fork at Danny’s feet kinda bouncing around. He shrugs and snickers, “looks like I've got a few new roboticks”.

Which makes Jazz groan as she comes in, “ignoring that, what smells so good?”, looking Danny over slightly and quirking any eyebrow over his green sparky eyes.

Sam rolls her eyes, biting a pepper, “your parents’ made ghost food again”.

Maddie immediately sits up straight, “Dan did actually”. Jack practically cheering, “so it’s not just us!”.

Jazz mutters, “that’s not actually comforting”, because that means it’s either the house's fault or the utensils/cookware.

Sam huffs, “more reason not to have animal products”.

Tucker laughs, “more like reason to!”, and jabs a thumb at Danny. Who throws a quiet, “prick”, Tucker’s way.  

Maddie shakes her head a little as the teens poke fun at each other. Yeah they knew and were used to it. Which was... probably good for Danny. Hurt a little to confirm though. She understands though; her and Jack will just have to continue to be better then.

Not too long later, Lewis is putting away leftovers, Jazz and Maddie are on clean-up duty, Danny’s eyes are back to fucking normal, and Jack’s giving the CyberSteps steps a once over.

Tucker nudges Danny, ignoring Jack doing the typical ‘can you feel this?’ thing, “so theatre’s open. Feel like taking your limbs for a test drive?”.

Maddie immediately pauses with her washcloth, making a point to sound stern, “only if Dan okay’s it, sweetie”.

All the teens look to Lewis, who smirks and fakes being unsure, “oh I don’t know”, relenting at the scowls, “so long as he’s not left alone I don’t see a problem with it”. Tucker immediately high fives Danny, before Jack steps back with a smile; letting Danny run only kinda coordinatedly up the stairs to grab pants.

Danny decides fuck it and opts out of shoes; the CyberSteps toes/boots look like, well, boots. Heading back down and the three friends walk to the door. Jack and Maddie smiling to themselves over the fact that Danny can actually walk around town with his friends.

Just as Danny’s reaching for the handle there’s a knock and Danny’s pretty sure he smells smoke... and that weird new smell from yesterday? Shrugging and opening the door to the sight of a guy who looked like hot garbage yet healthyish. His hair looked like a comb would get stuck in it yet smooth. One bloodshot eye, yet they were also totally clear. Clearly unbrushed teeth, though white. In a leather jacket with burn marks, off-white t-shirt, and torn-up jeans. And a cigarette in one had, dirt under literally every fingernail and in the nail-beds.

“Wow someone’s speed lightning”, the dude looks around, “your yard’s kinda not shit so I’mma just put this out in my pocket”, and shoves the cigarette into his pants. Danny watches the pocket smoke and slowly gain a new hole as the guy speaks, “so if it ain’t obvious, name’s Eddie. Eddie Brock”.

Danny blinks, gapes a little -which the guy smirks over, and laughs. Because yeah, this is exactly his luck.

[harryandmeghansussex]

Day 18 of @defendingtheduchesses 's Meghan memories challenge.

Meghan's writing has always been one of my favourite strengths of hers. And I thought I would share one for day 18, so I picked this important one.

'What are you?' A question I get asked every week of my life, often every day. 'Well,' I say, as I begin the verbal dance I know all too well. 'I'm an actress, a writer, the Editor-in-Chief of my lifestyle brand The Tig, a pretty good cook and a firm believer in handwritten notes.' A mouthful, yes, but one that I feel paints a pretty solid picture of who I am. But here's what happens: they smile and nod politely, maybe even chuckle, before getting to their point, 'Right, but what are you? Where are your parents from?' I knew it was coming, I always do. While I could say Pennsylvania and Ohio, and continue this proverbial two-step, I instead give them what they're after: 'My dad is Caucasian and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white.

To describe something as being black and white means it is clearly defined. Yet when your ethnicity is black and white, the dichotomy is not that clear. In fact, it creates a grey area. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating. When I was asked by ELLE to share my story, I'll be honest, I was scared. It's easy to talk about which make-up I prefer, my favourite scene I've filmed, the rigmarole of 'a day in the life' and how much green juice I consume before a requisite Pilates class. And while I have dipped my toes into this on thetig.com, sharing small vignettes of my experiences as a biracial woman, today I am choosing to be braver, to go a bit deeper, and to share a much larger picture of that with you.

It was the late Seventies when my parents met, my dad was a lighting director for a soap opera and my mom was a temp at the studio. I like to think he was drawn to her sweet eyes and her Afro, plus their shared love of antiques. Whatever it was, they married and had me. They moved into a house in The Valley in LA, to a neighbourhood that was leafy and affordable. What it was not, however, was diverse. And there was my mom, caramel in complexion with her light-skinned baby in tow, being asked where my mother was since they assumed she was the nanny.

I was too young at the time to know what it was like for my parents, but I can tell you what it was like for me – how they crafted the world around me to make me feel like I wasn't different but special. When I was about seven, I had been fawning over a boxed set of Barbie dolls. It was called The Heart Family and included a mom doll, a dad doll, and two children. This perfect nuclear family was only sold in sets of white dolls or black dolls. I don't remember coveting one over the other, I just wanted one. On Christmas morning, swathed in glitter-flecked wrapping paper, there I found my Heart Family: a black mom doll, a white dad doll, and a child in each colour. My dad had taken the sets apart and customised my family.

Fast-forward to the seventh grade and my parents couldn't protect me as much as they could when I was younger. There was a mandatory census I had to complete in my English class – you had to check one of the boxes to indicate your ethnicity: white, black, Hispanic or Asian. There I was (my curly hair, my freckled face, my pale skin, my mixed race) looking down at these boxes, not wanting to mess up, but not knowing what to do. You could only choose one, but that would be to choose one parent over the other – and one half of myself over the other. My teacher told me to check the box for Caucasian. 'Because that's how you look, Meghan,' she said. I put down my pen. Not as an act of defiance, but rather a symptom of my confusion. I couldn't bring myself to do that, to picture the pit-in-her-belly sadness my mother would feel if she were to find out. So, I didn't tick a box. I left my identity blank – a question mark, an absolute incomplete – much like how I felt.

When I went home that night, I told my dad what had happened. He said the words that have always stayed with me: 'If that happens again, you draw your own box.'

I never saw my father angry, but in that moment I could see the blotchiness of his skin crawling from pink to red. It made the green of his eyes pop and his brow was weighted at the thought of his daughter being prey to ignorance. Growing up in a homogeneous community in Pennsylvania, the concept of marrying an African-American woman was not on the cards for my dad. But he saw beyond what was put in front of him in that small-sized (and, perhaps, small-minded) town, and he wanted me to see beyond that census placed in front of me. He wanted me to find my own truth.

And I tried. Navigating closed-mindedness to the tune of a dorm mate I met my first week at university who asked if my parents were still together. 'You said your mom is black and your dad is white, right?' she said. I smiled meekly, waiting for what could possibly come out of her pursed lips next. 'And they're divorced?' I nodded. 'Oh, well that makes sense.' To this day, I still don't fully understand what she meant by that, but I understood the implication. And I drew back: I was scared to open this Pandora's box of discrimination, so I sat stifled, swallowing my voice.

I was home in LA on a college break when my mom was called the 'N' word. We were leaving a concert and she wasn't pulling out of a parking space quickly enough for another driver. My skin rushed with heat as I looked to my mom. Her eyes welling with hateful tears, I could only breathe out a whisper of words, so hushed they were barely audible: 'It's OK, Mommy.' I was trying to temper the rage-filled air permeating our small silver Volvo. Los Angeles had been plagued with the racially charged Rodney King and Reginald Denny cases just years before, when riots had flooded our streets, filling the sky with ash that flaked down like apocalyptic snow; I shared my mom's heartache, but I wanted us to be safe. We drove home in deafening silence, her chocolate knuckles pale from gripping the wheel so tightly.

It's either ironic or apropos that in this world of not fitting in, and of harbouring my emotions so tightly under my ethnically nondescript (and not so thick) skin, that I would decide to become an actress. There couldn't possibly be a more label-driven industry than acting, seeing as every audition comes with a character breakdown: 'Beautiful, sassy, Latina, 20s'; 'African American, urban, pretty, early 30s'; 'Caucasian, blonde, modern girl next door'. Every role has a label; every casting is for something specific. But perhaps it is through this craft that I found my voice.

Being 'ethnically ambiguous', as I was pegged in the industry, meant I could audition for virtually any role. Morphing from Latina when I was dressed in red, to African American when in mustard yellow; my closet filled with fashionable frocks to make me look as racially varied as an Eighties Benetton poster. Sadly, it didn't matter: I wasn't black enough for the black roles and I wasn't white enough for the white ones, leaving me somewhere in the middle as the ethnic chameleon who couldn't book a job.

This is precisely why Suits stole my heart. It's the Goldilocks of my acting career – where finally I was just right. The series was initially conceived as a dramedy about a NY law firm flanked by two partners, one of whom navigates this glitzy world with his fraudulent degree. Enter Rachel Zane, one of the female leads and the dream girl – beautiful and confident with an encyclopedic knowledge of the law. 'Dream girl' in Hollywood terms had always been that quintessential blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty – that was the face that launched a thousand ships, not the mixed one. But the show's producers weren't looking for someone mixed, nor someone white or black for that matter. They were simply looking for Rachel. In making a choice like that, the Suits producers helped shift the way pop culture defines beauty. The choices made in these rooms trickle into how viewers see the world, whether they're aware of it or not. Some households may never have had a black person in their house as a guest, or someone biracial. Well, now there are a lot of us on your TV and in your home with you. And with Suits, specifically, you have Rachel Zane. I couldn't be prouder of that.

At the end of season two, the producers went a step further and cast the role of Rachel's father as a dark-skinned African-American man, played by the brilliant Wendell Pierce. I remember the tweets when that first episode of the Zane family aired, they ran the gamut from: 'Why would they make her dad black? She's not black' to 'Ew, she's black? I used to think she was hot.' The latter was blocked and reported. The reaction was unexpected, but speaks of the undercurrent of racism that is so prevalent, especially within America. On the heels of the racial unrest in Ferguson and Baltimore, the tensions that have long been percolating under the surface in the US have boiled over in the most deeply saddening way. And as a biracial woman, I watch in horror as both sides of a culture I define as my own become victims of spin in the media, perpetuating stereotypes and reminding us that the States has perhaps only placed bandages over the problems that have never healed at the root.

I, on the other hand, have healed from the base. While my mixed heritage may have created a grey area surrounding my self-identification, keeping me with a foot on both sides of the fence, I have come to embrace that. To say who I am, to share where I'm from, to voice my pride in being a strong, confident mixed-race woman. That when asked to choose my ethnicity in a questionnaire as in my seventh grade class, or these days to check 'Other', I simply say: 'Sorry, world, this is not Lost and I am not one of The Others. I am enough exactly as I am.'

Just as black and white, when mixed, make grey, in many ways that's what it did to my self-identity: it created a murky area of who I was, a haze around howpeople connected with me. I was grey. And who wants to be this indifferent colour, devoid of depth and stuck in the middle? I certainly didn't. So you make a choice: continue living your life feeling muddled in this abyss of self-misunderstanding, or you find your identity independent of it. You push for colour-blind casting, you draw your own box. You introduce yourself as who you are, not what colour your parents happen to be. You cultivate your life with people who don't lead with ethnic descriptions such as, 'that black guy Tom', but rather friends who say: 'You know? Tom, who works at [blah blah] and dates [fill in the blank] girl.' You create the identity you want for yourself, just as my ancestors did when they were given their freedom. Because in 1865 (which is so shatteringly recent), when slavery was abolished in the United States, former slaves had to choose a name. A surname, to be exact.

Perhaps the closest thing to connecting me to my ever-complex family tree, my longing to know where I come from, and the commonality that links me to my bloodline, is the choice that my great-great-great grandfather made to start anew. He chose the last name Wisdom. He drew his own box.

[audrinahq]

AUDRINA CHOI from GLENDALE UNIVERSITY! the TWENTY FOUR year old JENNIE KIM lookalike is most known for being SELF ASSURED and GENEROUS. but they can also be ARROGANT and CALLOUS. the GENDERQUEER always reminds me of JUMPING FENCES TO GET AWAY, VODKA IN A WATERBOTTLE, AN OLD LEATHER JACKET TAKEN FROM YOUR MOM'S CLOSET. that’s probably why they currently have CANDY BY MGK on repeat. with THEM around, this school year is bound to be interesting.

♡     ───   basics

full name: audrina choi nicknake(s): audrey, rina age: twenty four birthday: january ninth sexual orientation: [redacted] relationship status: unknown, assumed single occupation: heiress, student, model

♡     ───   background

place of birth: seoul, south korea hometown: upper east side, manhattan, new york education: graduated from constance billard school for girls, currently attending glendale university

♡     ───   physical

faceclaim: jennie kim eye color: dark brown hair color: black height: 5′1 

♡     ───   relatives

biological parents: choi myung-dae (father) & choi chi-yon (mother) adoptive guardians: viktor trimme & anika kuhn siblings: none, only child pets: casper, an orange cat & bandit, a german shepherd

♡     ───   biography / personality

when it comes to audrina’s adoption and their parents, there is no scandal- much to the disapintment of new york city. instead of being raised in south korea, audrina’s birth parents made the decision to give them up for adoption. it was an open adoption and audrina grew up with their birth parents as close family friends and their guardians, viktor and anika. viktor and anika were unable to have biological children of their own and after adopting audrina, they started a foundation meant to help in the adoption process for parents struggling. 

it’s not as if audrina is hiding their sexuality. yhey just love having that part of their life hidden from the media and prying eyes. very careful not to be spotted, audrina has become the master at hiding their personal life from not only page 6 but gossip girl as well. it’s become a big speculation if they’re dating anyone at all and who is might be. anyone spotted with them is subject to the “are they dating” questions before it’s clear that whomever it is, is not audrina’s partner. 

audrina is the person you want with you when things get complicated. they have a knack for either talking their way out of anything and when words don’t work, money sure does. most of the time the reason someone is in trouble is audrina’s fault but they don’t leave a friend behind. they do, however, leave pawns behind. “pawns are meant to be sacrificed for the queen to win.” high school it was clear they thought themself the queen bee of constance billard. it seems in college that mentality hasn’t died away but no longer are they making it known they want to be on top. not as obvious, at least.

audrina is a very “love them and leave them” type of person. commitment is a nasty word when it comes to relationships. rumor has it their best friend has a reward for the first person to get them to say ‘i love you’. 

♡     ───   in character questionnaire 

Parents names and occupations? Are they still together? Still alive?

“which set of parents are you talking about? myung-dae and chi-yon are owners of a ramyeon shop in korea. viktor is a criminal defense attorney and anika is a plastic surgeon. they’re all still alive.”

Where did you grow up?

“in the upper east side. manhattan. fifth avenue, to be specific.” 

Relationship Status?

“wouldn’t you like to know? next question.”

What is your major?

“education. and no, i don’t want to be a teacher but i need a background in education so i can sit on school boards and reform the education system.”

Sexuality? 

“you won’t get that answer from me. stop trying.”

Do you have a job?

“what? being a student isn’t good enough? i do some modelling as a hobby. i don’t need to work.”

Do you dorm at school? Have an apartment?

“i live in the same apartment i always have. i lived in the dorms for freshman year- it was required, and then moved out the second i could. community living isn’t for me.”

Hobbies?

“aside from modeling, i like reading. i’m into fashion- what upper east side kid isnt? oh- dancing and art too. recently took up taekwondo.”

If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

“tiny but mighty? no. uh- probably something to do with how i would kick your ass. i don’t know, i’m not that clever.”

What have you been up to over the summer?

“you know that better than i do. seem like a gossip girl reader. ask her, sure she knows.”

Last image taken on your cell phone?

Last text you received?

“next question.”

Where were you the night the fight broke out?

“korea, i was working.”

♡     ───   character inspirations 

blair waldorf

jenny humphrey

narcissa malfoy

harley quinn

ingui "queen" yoon

klaus mikaelson

caroline forbes

rebekah mikaelson

♡     ───   wanted connections

sex money feelings dies ( open ) - think of exes but make it a one night stand but on top of that a frequent hook up. every time you say that won’t hook up with each other again. it’s not healthy, you both want past the relationship and let it go, but the moment y’all see each other from across the bar or at a party you just know you’ll end up in each other’s bed again

i saw you in a dream ( nadine alston ) - you guys were close. so close. thought there would never be a time you guys wouldn’t talk, but one thing lead to another and you’re left thinking about them when it’s just you and your thoughts. without them your life really hasn’t been the same, but is it worth getting past what happened to pick up the phone and call them?

painkiller ( juliana “jules” santos ) - best friends forever. literally. this person knows you inside out and you can’t see a day without them. they’re essentially your painkiller. you tell them everything and them back to you. they can tell if you’re feeling down just by the way you send your snapchat streaks that morning. you can’t see a day without them.

call your girlfriend ( open ) - this one is pretty messy. your muse is in a relationship, but there’s a huge flirtationship between these two. the flirtationship essentially becomes to both of these people attached to each other and maybe... even in love. but there’s still that relationship that’s in the way... YIKES

perfect places ( noah evans ) - party buddies but make it you guys just getting lost in the vibes because you don’t want to deal with life. it’s a good friendship. you guys get the thoughts in your head to go numb, but at a point it’s like what’s the point ?

femme fatale ( jared callahan ) - one muse is a huge fool for the other. they’re head over heels for them but they’re just playing around with the other’s feelings because hey ! it’s fun ! all of their friends tell them to ‘ just leave it you’re gonna get hurt ’, but they just continue to be boo boo the fool 

ex affair ( open ) - basically your muse was the cheater and audrina the other woman but it ended for whatever reason.

family friends ( luca cartwright ) - friends who met through family, could either be close or it be an awkward situation because they don't really get along or know each other well.

squad goals ( tatiana “tati” reyes , juliana “jules” santos , open ) - just a close knit group of friends. the group chat is always going off with someone’s dramatics, one or more of the squad constantly featured together in social media and the press. one or more or all of them constantly sleeping over at audrina’s place. doesn’t matter the university, these friends have been ride or die since childhood at least.

♡     ───   wanted connections

these can be used in any direction the “you” does not mean your muse from the point of view from audrina, it can go either direction. i just like the #aesthetic of writing it this way. 

001. open. you pulled away from me, so i pulled away from you. i pulled away when you hurt me. you pulled away when the world hurt you. and now we are both pulled away during a time when we are supposed to be pulled together. at some point i needed to put it all behind me. forget about you. forget about the way you made me wonder. and what we could have been. because it never happened, and it always got later, morning always turned into nights and the day was eventually over and nothing had changed. but it doesn’t mean that i don’t feel a damn thing, i do still feel a hole in my heart when they talk about you, i do still want to scream when i hear you have another life with someone else, i do still want to feel your kiss on my skin. and i do still love you.

002. open. we have no idea what personal boundaries are and yeah we’ve made out before a lot and yeah it was ok but we’re friends ok friends and why are you staring at me like that? why are you holding my hand always? why are you telling me how much you adore me? oh we’re not dating? oh you’ve been in love with me for years and i’m a doorknob and now things are awkward and i don’t know what to do to fix it.

003. open. i confessed i might be in love with and you said you weren’t interested in dating me because we’re just friends and i’m getting over that heartbreak but you show up on my doorstep and kiss me and we end up in bed and in the morning you tell me this was a mistake and before i can stop you, you leave. you show up again. lather rinse repeat. it’s not good for either of us but we keep doing it.

004. open. we tried the whole dating thing and it didn’t work out and we’ve moved beyond that. you’re my go-to friend on anything and everything and any problem you got i will fucking mow down hell to fix. wow your smile just lights up my world and please don’t be sad. who made you sad i will throw them in hell and mow them down and – oh wow. i never got over you. you’re my fucking world and i just want you to be happy but you can only see me as a friend because when you look at me you see our failed relationship but i’m not the same person i swear.

005. open. we’ve been best friends since we were kids, grew up next to each other and even though we aren’t from the same family we get confused for siblings a lot when we were younger. we’re older now and people keep thinking we’re dating but it’s not like that, we’re just extremely close. oh hey, you’re at my house more often than your own cause i don’t like to be alone at night and the neighbors think we’re together or having an affair and it’s funny to laugh about at dinners and we always get each other valentine’s presents since we were kids and you’re the first person i call when anything happens in my life. what? no, i’m not in love with them, they’re just my best friend.

006. open. “hey, open your front door. i’m here with chips, pizza, ice cream, and your favorite pastries. yes, i know it’s like 3am but i’m your best friend and i know you’re sad right now and i am here to comfort you.”

007. open. you’re not my ex anything. you were a passing moment, an almost a maybe one day we’ll be something but one day never came, you passed by and ‘almost’ didn’t happen. and yet it feels like something did because i know your favorite songs, what you think about late at night and how beautiful you thought i was. and i know you knew even more about me. our story was like an acute angle, a meeting point and then off in different directions. so close and then farther and farther away. we were an almost, maybe, someday.

008. open. tell me where we went wrong because it’s still not clear to me. there are still questions left unanswered and they’re killing me. tell me why we end up here, i thought we’d last a little bit longer. tell me what happened, why all of a sudden you decided to live without me. you just left. tell me how far should i walk away from you because i can’t turn away on my own. i’ve tried my best to let go but my life keeps coming back to you. i’ve tried to walk alone but i keep on looking back, hoping that every time that i turn, you’re there walking with me. tell me when to stop loving you because i don’t know how to stop this feeling.

009. open. if you’re alone, i’ll be your shadow. if you want to cry, i’ll be your shoulder. if you want a hug, i’ll be your pillow. if you need to be happy, i’ll be your smile… but anytime you need a friend, i’ll just be me.

010. open. things were great for a while before suddenly they weren’t. commitment doesn’t look good on you or me and now everything ends in a fight. you pushed me away so i pushed you away harder, the distance became catastrophic and the relationship imploded. hearts were shattered in the process and now you just bring back too many memories of what it felt like to be happy and to be in love so i just ignore you cause it feels easier than facing the truth that i miss you.

[mel-ancholymuse]

corona island questionnaire: digging deeper

QUOTE: “my heart keeps pulling in the wrong direction, i’m about to cross that line. looking for the wrong affection night after night.” — late night feelings by mark ronson & lykke li

BASIC

NAME: melpomene muse

NICKNAMES: mel, melly

AGE: 30

GENDER: female

PRONOUNS: she/her

FAMILY

PARENTS: Oliver Muse; music producer and song writer (deceased). Rose Velez; teacher. (deceased.)

SIBLINGS: Calli Muse, Era Muse, Clio Muse, and little Teri Muse.

PHYSIAL ATTRIBUTES

FACE CLAIM: Cassie Ventura

HEIGHT: 5’7

HAIR COLOR: black

EYE COLOR: brown

DOMINANT HAND: right

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: n/a

LEARNING DISABILITIES: n/a

ALLERGIES: life? n/a

DISORDERS: depression, anxiety, PTSD

FASHION: she’s neither tomboy nor girly girl, rather somewhere in the middle. she likes to wear a lot of sheer fabrics, usually in darker colors. will rock jeans and an old concert t-shirt, usually in the form of prince, tina turner, whitney (the greats). also known to rock an oversized t-shirt like it’s a dress, because she’s small so it basically is. lives for a good mini skirt/dress moment — the higher the slit the closer to God. she’s very confident about her body and isn’t afraid to show it off, highlight the fact that she’s cute mhm.

NERVOUS TICS: plays with her nails a lot, like clicks them together or drums them on top of a table. the sound is strangely pleasing to her and it calms her down

LIFESTYLE

HOME/APARTMENT/DORM/OTHER: lives in oliver muse’s grand estate with her sisters. prior to their father’s passing she lived with layla

PLACE OF BIRTH: corona island

METHOD OF TRAVEL: she has a car don’t ask me what it is

PHONE: iPhone

LAPTOP/COMPUTER: a MacBook, she needs it for all the music and video editing for the group

PETS: Teri wants a pig but mel says no

FURTHEST EDUCATION: masters of music (focusing on composition, performance and technology)

CAREER: formerly taught an advanced piano and violin course for gifted students. now she’s in a girl group with her sisters because their dad wanted them to

DRUGS/ALCOHOL USE: she drinks when she’s stressed and wild party mel comes out. she is often stressed. she will do drugs (mostly Oxy and things of that nature) recreationally but has tried to avoid it now that she and her sisters are doing the band and gaining more success because she wants to avoid a potential scandal.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

AVAILABILITY: currently single but playing big games with Hans

LANGUAGES: English, French, Spanish

PHOBIAS: abandonment, her sisters secretly hating her the way her mom clearly hated her, being unimportant to the people in her life/being overlooked

HOBBIES: boxing, tennis, music (though that’s her career now), acting.

SOCIAL MEDIA: instagram and twitter. she hardly uses either and mostly just uses the muses official band account because she has to

FAVORITE

GAMES: football to watch, scrabble, charades!!!, just dance and sing it with her sisters, clue

MUSIC: she thinks genres are dumb and we shouldn’t restrict artists to them anymore. but her favorite artists are prince, beyonce, diana ross, aaliyah, rihanna, vince staples, mariah carey

FOOD: sofritas tacos!!

BEVERAGE: green tea

COLOR: purple and yellow/gold

CHARACTER

WESTERN ZODIAC: scorpio

SONG: the one by jorja smith

[taxicabinmemphis]

#StayProud is today so I guess I will tell people the boring story of how I "came out", and why I didn't come out earlier. Long post, don't feel obligated to read! I just thought it was a good day to share.

~~~

So, for background, my parents are liberal, accepting, not homophobic at all, so they aren't unsafe to be gay around. However, as I started to figure out that 'hey I'm pretty gay for the White Canary', my parents and I had a conversation about being LGBTQ+. I mentioned how I knew many people around me who identified as gay, bisexual, or queer, and I also brought up Brendon Urie being pansexual (he was the only pan I knew of, and I was thinking I was pan). Bringing that up was me kind of putting my right foot out of the closet, testing the waters to see if I might later come out. After I explained what pansexual was, my dad made a remark that wasn't exactly homophobic, but it did just kinda shove me back into the closet. "Yeah, but I think at your age, you're just too young to know."

Right as it was said I was taken aback, hurt, angry, irritated, annoyed. I immediately wanted to jump to the defense of my friends (I didn't name anyone or anything, I don't out people), but I was basically speechless and caught off guard.

Because my dad had talked to me about BOYFRIENDS before, seemingly acknowledging that I could have a crush on a guy (but that I was too young to date, and I was, I was 11). He KNEW that I had the hots for a friend when I was three. THREE. I wasn't too young to love then!

But the thing was, the thing that was confusing me, was that all throughout elementary school, I never had a crush, and everyone around me was like "Julia, you have to have a crush. Not having one is unrealistic! We all know you have the hots for [insert male name here]. He likes you!"

And now my father is saying that I can't know if like a badass woman I saw on TV, that I'm too young?! I was in sixth grade, goddammit! I had friends who were dating. Was there some age you had to reach before you could be gay?

I knew my sexuality. I knew I wasn't too young. I also knew that if it did change, that if I started to prefer something else, I could. And that was okay. But I knew that then and there, a sixth grader who had never been taught about homosexuality, who learned about the LGBT+ community from her bi friend and learned about pansexuality from the internet, that I was pan.

And so I became spiteful. Looking back, too spiteful, but it's too late now. I figured "if you think I'm too young to know, and if I think there is no such thing as too young, you will decide when I am old enough. You will decide when I have reached the age where I am eligible to come out. When you decide you are ready for me to come out, you can ask me. And I will tell you."

And that became my motto. "If you ask, I'll tell." And so it eventually became that everyone at school knew, as I was very open about my sexuality, would throw it in conversation when appropriate, and when people would come out to me, I would come out to them. My friends outside of school knew too, we watched Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow together and I did nothing to hide my crush on Sara Lance. And so it became that my friends knew, some of my teachers probably knew, but my parents didn't.

But then I failed my mental health questionnaire/check-in/whatever.

And my primary care doctor basically said "Get this fucked up teen to therapy AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!" She implied that we should looked at therapists the second we got home.

Either way, it took my mom a few months to get me a therapist. We're pretty poor, my parents get busy, and therapy is damn expensive! And eventually, by the time I thought my mom forgot that the doctor demanded that I get help, I got a therapy appointment.

And the first thing that happens, is intake.

So flash-forward, I'm in the therapist's office, my mom's beside me because a parent or guardian had to be there and I am not comfortable with my dad when it comes to discussing mental health. Intake is basically a lot of questions, at least it was for me. Pronouns and other basic stuff that I don't remember.

But the question came.

"Sexuality?"

And I went to say "I don't want to answer that" as my mom was right there and I was used to hiding my sexuality from her. But then the words rang through my head.

If you ask, I'll tell you.

And so, with a slight smirk on my face but nerves coursing through my brain, I said "Pansexual." There it was. There was no going back.

My mom was shocked; her form flinched backwards in surprise. The therapist could see I hadn't told my mom this before. My mom wasn't mad or anything, she just told the therapist "yeah I just didn't know" and I turned to her and said my motto "if you asked, I would've told you".

No, it is not her fault for not asking. I'm not angry at her. She didn't make the comment that I was too young. I just wished she would've realized how socially anxious I am, that I would never have the courage to sit them down and tell them, or even just randomly shout "guess what, I'm pan!"

But I resigned myself to "if they ask, I'll tell, cuz even if they don't just ask me out of the blue, they most definitely will want to when I bring a girl home". It was a combination of spite and anxiety.

My dad on the other hand, I never truly came out to. I realized I could never do the sit down with the family, or bake a pink, yellow, and blue cake with the statement of ‘I'm pansexual’ gracing the top. Because two of the three people I lived with knew (I came out to my grandpa early on, I feel really safe around him so that was easy). My father realizing was basically a random throw-in of "...pansexuality, like me..." and I continued on. I could see the look on his face but it wasn't enough shock to stop me. That, and me desperately trying to give him clues. Because it's so casual and forgettable with him though, I will still make gay statements to make sure he hasn't forgotten. But because of his reaction of "of course" to "I mean I don't blame Julian Bashir for flirting with Jadzia, if I were on DS9 I would have the hots for her too" (my most recent gay statement), I think there is no confusion.

~~~

So yeah! That's my gay story! I don't expect anyone to read it, it's super long, but I really just wanted to share on this prideful day. To those of you who somehow haven't figured it out, I am pansexual! And I am not in the closet anymore.

I will say that I am very lucky to be able to come out as I did, that so many of my LGBT+ siblings don't have that privilege. I am here for you, my messages are always open, and I support you.

#StayProud

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 86

June 5 

Paperwork time is here again, let's all rejoice till we get migraines! Today the houseguests departed after breakfast, promising to be back anytime if MIL needs them, which was very nice of them. With just the four of us in the house once more, we turned our attention to the stuff that comes next. In the morning, MIL was determined to get a bunch of stuff cleaned out of the bedroom and the closet. She let my husband pick through all his dad's clothes for things he wanted (and I think she may have given the sisters a go as well, not sure) and then boxed up the remainder. All the leftover medical things got packed up, socks and shoes and belts from the drawers. She found one of FIL's favorite belts, dark brown leather and a large round buckle with a sculpted belly button on it. It was intensely weird and my husband wanted it immediately. 

In the back of the closet, she found FIL's old backpack guitar, which nobody including him knew how to play but was special because the company that made it is headquartered in the town where my husband grew up. It was very out of tune and the thinnest string was broken entirely. She decided she very much wanted it fixed up and playable and asked if I could make that happen. A couple emails and a phone call, and husband and the kiddo were off to town to the music store. They came back in only about an hour with a tuned and strung guitar. I think that was the happiest I've seen MIL in the past several days. Kiddo spent some time noodling around with it,, and it's amazing how much nicer just fooling around sounds when a guitar is in tune! It's a pretty little thing that looks more like a ren faire instrument than a guitar, but it plays nicely. I bet there are guitar lessons on YouTube somewhere. 

There was a lot of funeral home detail to work out too, even though FIL's planning was comprehensive. He was a thorough, careful man who obviously spent a lot of time considering the fact that he was fifteen years older than his wife and lifting as many end of life burdens as possible from her shoulders. His will was concise and easy to find, his obituary prewritten eight years ago, then updated four years ago and only awaiting plugged-in information. He prepaid for his cremation package and arranged what funeral home would do the work, and when the time comes that we can have a service, he left several pages talking about what he would like. Even with all of that, the process of winding up a life takes time and paperwork. I am technically a lawyer (one MPRE score away from being a double lawyer!) but I know enough to know when I'm out of my depth. We've still got an appointment pending with the attorney next week, only now it will be estate administration instead of asset protection. I had to fill out an entirely new questionnaire! At least it was easier than the first one. The attorney will be able to give us the nitty gritty details about what might wind up in probate and whether we need to do probate at all, plus lots of stuff I probably haven't even thought of yet. 

Side note: did you know it costs 125 dollars to ship cremains in the mail? I did not know that thing. In other news, we are going to make sure we stay in town long enough to personally pick up the four separate boxes MIL requested (one for each kid) and thereby save many many monies. Everything about dying is more expensive than you would imagine. The price for obituaries is basically ridiculous. I guess it's just one more way of supporting print journalism. We're also going to wind up buying like 20 copies of that day's paper, even more support! 

The rest of today's work was mostly making calls and inquiries to different banks and utilities to confirm that we can basically do fuck-all until we have the death certificate in hand, but that once we do, things should go pretty smoothly. I found a website called Peacefully that is basically a series of checkable lists of all the things you need to do after somebody dies. It's been very helpful so far. There's a lot of stuff that I never would've even thought of, just because I've never had a close family member die in a situation where I was even a little responsible for settling things. My last grandparent died when I was 26, but I was in my final year of law school and living far away, so I had nothing to do with that except picking out a few little things from her house before the big estate sale. (I got her jewelry box that plays Fur Elise, one I wound up about a thousand times in childhood and that still smells just a tiny bit like her house.) It's very different to be right up in it, but I'm glad that I'm not trying to help from 400 miles away, or worrying about MIL having to do it all herself. 

Today was also notable for being the last day of school! Kiddo missed the first half hour because we were all distracted this morning with Nana's closet, but he got there in time for most of the school meeting and to see the slide show of the year. There was also a goodbye drive-through at the school this afternoon; he was bummed he couldn't go, but happy that one of his classmates' parents filmed it and sent it to the teacher for him. He watched it tonight before bed, waving to the teachers wistfully as the video played. I really, really hope he can get back into school in the fall! He misses it. Now it's the start of the most anti-climactic summer vacation ever and we have to find stuff for him to do for three _more_ months. Internet, don't fail me now! 

Speaking of finding things to do, we got back on the Avatar train and watched a bunch tonight, with popcorn and everything. I love Toph so very, very much, and so does the kiddo. He appreciates someone who is twelve and can kick the asses of everyone in the room. It is also funny how everyone in the universe continues to be fully immune to bashing damage with the exception of Zuko, who still shakes his many head traumas off very quickly. It's also funny watching how in a TV Y7 show, a character fights with two sharp swords and never actually uses the blades on anybody. I half expect to hear a Phineas and Ferb-style "We're O-Kay!" from the minions at the end of each battle. After that was bedtime and a little bit of podcast, though not nearly so much as last night. He did come into my bedroom a little later because he kept having scary thoughts, apparently mostly about Nana getting sick and dying, but we were able to talk his mood around so that he got to bed at a reasonable hour. That is excellent, he needs the sleep. 

[parentingwithamentalillness]

My first blog post

So, this is my first blog post. I don’t know where to start. Maybe ill start with why I made this blog? Maybe I’ll start with my initial diagnosis? I’m not sure. I think I might just start writing and see what comes out. 

I’m going to start with my background story, then I’ll get into parenting. It may take a couple posts to get out, but I’ll go through all my struggles before becoming a parent, then I’ll go through while parenting.

Let’s go back to 2012, March of 2012 I was in year 10 of my schooling. I had grown up with some difficulties making friends, keeping friends and socialising. all throughout primary school I was a bit of a trouble maker, wouldn’t do as I was told, refused to move from places I shouldn’t be and just caused some problems with my teachers and my mother. My mum always knew there was just something different with me but could never pin point what it was, until I was in year 10 and she researched Asperger's. For those unaware of what Asperger’s is, it is a developmental disorder related to autism and characterised by awkwardness in social interaction, pedantry in speech, and preoccupation with very narrow interests.

My Mum decided to take me to a clinical psychologist where we both did a questionnaire based on my behaviour. The findings of this questionnaire reported back that I had Asperger’s and had severe depression. This hit me really hard because at the time it was 2 weeks before I turned 16. It was a massive shock to me that I’d gone 16 years with not knowing why I was so disliked, why I behaved the way I did. I started reading up on Asperger’s in women and the symptoms of it. Not even 2 symptoms in and I related so much. My next step was to go off and do an IQ test. Verbal communication, reasoning and recognising feelings/emotions was and still is a bit of a weak point of mine. Problem solving, numbers, and general mathematics I was superior in. The results of this IQ test concluded that I struggled with English and needed further help in my schooling to be able to pass.

After finding out that I had Asperger’s, depression and anxiety, my mum told the family and their reaction wasn’t the greatest when all you need is support and help. My Aunty passed it off as an excuse for my behaviour. That was until a few months later when I had a massive breakdown and refused to go to school. Refused to leave bed and all I wanted to do was lay in bed all day. My Aunty came round to try and help my mum get me out of my funk. Upon her arrival she gave me a photo of my Uncle, who passed away the year prior, and I. She said “I found this and thought that you should have this. He loved you. Know he is always with you and looking down and is incredibly proud of you.” From that day forward I’ve had that photo with me where ever I go. My Uncle is my guardian angel. He’s kept me grounded on Earth and has stopped me from killing myself. The photo is the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night.

The rest of my schooling was a bit of a struggle. I was in the crucial years of my schooling. I needed to do well to be able to go to University and studying a passion of mine. Year 11 was a struggle, I was failing a class so dropped the subject and picked another up. But that still wasn’t the worst part. EXAMS, no one likes exams at the best of times but when it came to English exams, oh boy, that was the worst. We got given 3 hours to do 3 writing pieces. I was confident going in and knew what I needed to do, BUT, as soon as that timer started and I had to put pencil to paper, that was it my mind went black. I would sit in that exam room looking at a blank piece of paper. I would try everything I could to try and write something worthy of getting marked. I ended up doing but got the lowest pass score I could’ve. I passed year 11 but not by much. Year 12 was tipping point though. I started the year doing 5 subjects but after falling one subject and not wanting to pick up another I dropped the 5th subject and continued the year with 4. After Term 1 it was brought to the attention of my year level coordinators that I wasn’t doing too well. I was failing a further 2 subjects, one of them being English, what a surprise NOT. I had a discussion with my coordinators to see if I could do year 12 over 2 years but they refused to help me pass year 12. The excuse they used was it will ruin their rep. That was it, that was when I decided I’ll ruin their rep anyway by dropping out of school. Half way through year 12 and I decided to leave because I was failing and I wasn’t going to get the help I needed to pass.

After leaving high school I decided to try my hand doing a diploma at TAFE. That didn’t work out as well as I hoped it would. 1 month into my course and it got to a time where I had to write an essay. Let’s just say that was the moment I realised I couldn’t do this course. After leaving TAFE I jumped from job to job. Moved around in terms of housing. Went from living with friends, to living with my grandfather, to living with my friends again to living with my grandfather again. I still wasn’t happy though and wasn’t sure on where I was going or what I was going to do. That was until Boxing Day 2014. My dad had flown over for a funeral and I went and seen him. He offered for me to pack up all my things and come live with him in Western Australia. I went home, told mum what I was going to do and that was it. I packed up all my stuff at my grandfathers, went back to mums for the night. Told all the family what I was doing and left the next day.

In my next blog post I will talk about my time in Western Australia and my struggles there. I will then go on until we get to 2018!

I am just starting out in writing and I do know that this may not be written very well, but as I had written in this blog I’m not very good at English. I try my best in trying to follow a story on smoothly. If you see some grammatical errors, I’m sorry. English stumps me. Not wrong when they say English is the hardest language to learn.

Anyway, please share if you think it’s worthy of a share. I will get to what it’s been like as a parent and suffering with Asperger’s and depression in a future post!

[iamjjmmma]

tldr: I have bpd. (Loong text ahead)

Note: All names have been changed for privacy.

 I never like to open up about mental health. Not only is it messy- it's also degrading. But this is an exception. 

So I'm going to lay it out for you. Right here, right now.

 I have borderline personality disorder.

 I'm telling you because, unlike with so many other things about me, you deserve to know this. And the way I got my diagnosis was long, narrow, and harrowing. So get comfy. 

Of all things, it all started with a death. About a month ago, a family friend who wasn't any older than three or four died. My entire family was devastated, but for seemingly no reason, I seemed to be the one who cried the most, who felt the most heartbroken. Not even my cousins, who were closer to her, cried this much. Of course, my sister noticed and encouraged me to get myself into grief counseling. I love my sister more than anyone else in the whole wide world, so it didn't take long before I was booking my first appointment with a Catholic counselor 45 minutes away who knew me ever since I was little. 

"Hey there, Sk3ltal. Something seem to be a problem?

" I get angry. I'm in your office, I think. How the hell would there NOT be a problem? I think. But over five years of this kind of anger gives you a kind of knack for brushing it off as hormonal and pretending your fine.

 "Well, Manuela...something does seem to be a problem. Somebody...close to me died. And she was young..."

 At this point, I'm bursting into tears. I wonder why. I get the "oh, honey, it's okay" treatment. She gives me a hug, offers me all the tissues I need, even lets me hold her dog if I can get past the fact that he's just about as still as a blast of wind. Thirty seconds later, I'm fine again.

 "Manuela, I want to make sure that I'm fine. That it's not grief and just sadness. I want to know how not to lose it in public. Because I feel crazy."

 Manuela bites her lip. "Grief does make the most ordinary people act like insane asylum patients, no?" 

A week later, I'm back in her office. By now, it's almost the end of September. And something"s eating at me. For the first time in my sixteen years, a movie not only humanized the villian, but made me relate to her. Relate to her enough to do this. BPD. Only heard about it once or twice before. Asked my mom if I had it, then she laughed and said it was just me being a teenager and that yes, crying four times a day and slamming the door EVERY TIME YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO was completely normal.

 So was the scratches on my skin I convinced my parents was "wicked eczema", and so was me pulling out my hair and banging my head against solid objects. And now, people were talking about how a movie character had it, and how many symptoms she exhibited. Suddenly, hunger for knowledge reached out its hands. I wanted to know.

 Could it be I had this? And what was it? 

Manuela was a little concerned, but considering I was getting bored as usual in her office, she let me take the questionnaire. Five minutes pass by, half of which I spent taking the quiz. And I think the moment I saw her face turn pale was the minute things started to fall apart and go back into place, all at the same time. "Honey, I...you're positive." ... 

Of course, I wasn't diagnosed right then and there. I had to make sure I could point it back to a specific event when it started- in this case, what happened when I was ten between my childhood best friend and i; she ghosted me, and i haven’t heard a word from her since- so they couldn't blame it on my "womanly teenage hormones" (yes, I was telling the truth; the event just helped to rule out those hormones). My family and close friends, whatever the hell the last one was, were interviewed. When my dad was interviewed, I could feel his face turn pale this time as he whispered, "Oh, my God. You just described my kid. Something's wrong with my kid." 

Next was a rudimentary physical with my family practitioner. to make sure nothing physical, other than me being a teenager, could be causing the symptoms. When the doctor said "nothing's wrong other than what you keep on seeing me for so far", my heart didn't sink. I didn't feel anything. The diagnosis was made official a short time later, but I didn't feel anything then either. And that's, ironically, a huge part of borderline personality disorder.

 Borderline personality disorder, to flaunt it in a more colorful way, is your mind constantly being fucked by a tornado of emotion while the borderline, which is what the disorder is named after, obtains a corporeal form and joins in the fuckery to create a massive threesome. Four if you count Lonely, my friend in the back. 

Getting my diagnosis may havw been one of the most quietly difficult things I've ever done. 

There's the fact that some mental health professionals are afraid with those with borderline personality disorder, or think it's completely impossible for children or adolescents to have it. If not for the relationship Manuela and I already had, I most likely would have been misdiagnosed again. On to the misdiagnoses, which are staggeringly common in those with borderline personality disorder. I was diagnosed...

 -three times with some type of anxiety 

-twice with PTSD 

-once with bulimia 

-accused hundreds of times of being demonically possessed because of my "temper". that priest now knows better.

 But now to the real criteria. There's nine of them, and to be diagnosed, you need to get at least five.

 -Abandonment issues 

This was the biggie. It was almost like I grew up, then regressed. This all started when I was eleven, and my mind would switch from being 4 to being the 11 year old I was. I have too many stories of me being left alone for a ridiculously insignificant amount of time, then me acting like a scared toddler in solitary confinement about it. The time at the high school when I got locked in the bathroom. The time I got left in the car for 5 minutes and almost broke the door trying to get out. There's so many more, but this one, I think, takes the cake.

 I was twelve. They had the house childproofed because of my sister, who was 7 at the time and had autism, so she tended to be grabbier than then average bear. The acting out was at its peak back then, and my parents made the mistake of putting me in time-out by locking me in my bedroom for five minutes. 

What happened next was almost indescribable. Imagine the outright terror the character in the movie feels when he or she is stranded and realizes they're utterly alone. No one will come to save them. No one. The helicopter they came in is empty. The island always has, and always is, empty. Or imagine the terror you felt at school during that one time it WASN'T a drill. Now multiply that feeling by about sixty. I was nothing more than an animal that day. I screamed.

 "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" "SOMEBODY HELP ME!" "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!" "I DON'T WANNA DIE HERE!". Bang, bang, bang, bang, BANG, BANG. 

My parents always tell me that I would've beat that damn door down had they not gotten me out. They open the door. I practically jump on them to hug them. They bump me off, and while I'm not hurt, it's not like that made me feel any better, either. 

"What is your problem, young lady?! Can't we leave you alone for five minutes? How are you going to be able to be an adult and be like this?"

 Tears poured down my face. I didn't know. 

Hell, I still don't know. 

-"Borderline" way of thinking when it comes to relationships...always seeing others as either perfect angels or a bucket of nasty-ass toxic waste. 

-Self-harm. 

No, I don't cut myself. that's the stereotype, although there's people I know who self harm in this way. I didn't know what it was called or what I was going.

 but all I knew was that I was relieving whatever tension I had, even if it meant hurting myself. I quickly learned how to keep it hidden, and that was by realizing the millions of nerves on the surface of my skin and how that would cause pain without much overall damage. so I scratched myself. and scratched. and scratched. and scratched. pulling my hair was also a good option. if I feel really crummy, I start to bang my head into solid objects or bend one of my bones, although not enough to break it.

 at first, it was to transfer emotional pain into physical pain so I wouldn't have to feel it emotionally anymore. 

and it's still that now, to an extent. except it's more about controlling my anger and not letting it show in public, instead keeping it chained to my skin. and I'm sorry if this sounds emo or cringy, but it's true.

 now, it's turned into an impulse.

 -unstable relationships.

 my friends can all tell you that I love them dearly, more than the vast majority of the people they know. and they also know that I'm also more prone to lashing out or doing things in the relationship that don't make sense, like purposefully ignoring texts and phone calls for a day.

 -shifting self-image. 

what I wanted to be when I grew up was sometimes as fickle as the time of day. I wanted to be an actor during one point in my childhood. it consumed my everything, kept me from eating, from sleeping. and at another short point, I know wanted to be a singer.

 in the course of one particular year, I wanted to be a nun, then an author, then an engineer, then a truck driver, then a nurse, then a teacher. it was ridiculous,

 and all happening during a period where the education system expected me to decide what I wanted to be. 

and what about who I was? was I a girl? a boy? young? old? the best Catholic there was? a solid atheist?

 I have my 5. there's more, but I don't want to share it all, at least right now. and most of it is actually because the program I'm using to type this is really shitty when it comes to saving huge chunks of text lol. 

Treatment:

 I've started therapy. So far, both Manuela and I are still researching BPD so none of us are blind to stigma. However, there's a long road ahead of me, and a road I most likely wouldn't even consider taking if it weren't for my love for my sister (which I'm begging is genuine and not just a product of my mental illness). Finding a medication will be tough, seeing as there's no official medicine for BPD but so far, for the first time, I can feel the "BPD me" fading away when I drink tea with ginseng (a mood stabilizer). 

getting "better" from BPD, or at least working to alleviate the symptoms, requires just that: work. lots of patience, persistence, and just lots and lots of hard damn work. 

it'll take us getting rid of societal stigmas and working through the root causes, which unfortunately I can't just be "taken away from" as with those whose BPD diagnoses came while they were still living in broken homes. 

 And the worst part of it all is that I still love my best friend.

[merritidings]

Character Questionnaire: Merrinyn Delorsath

BASICS -

1. Height?

5′5″. (She is of average height. At least in her former settlement.)

2. Eye colour?

Black. (It’s actually dark blue.)

3. Do they need glasses?

No. (That doesn’t stop her from wearing one whenever she feels like it.)

4. Scars and birthmark?

None. (It’s hard to get scars when you’re always far from the action, drowning in books. She did get a paper cut a few days after leaving her old settlement, settling for the surface to learn more about this part of the world, though that amounted to nothing more than a few minutes of annoyance.)

5. Tattoos and piercings?

None.

6. Right or left handed?

Right-handed. (For a time in her youth, she instead she was ambidextrous. That was until she figured out the word she was looking for was “amphibious”.)

7. Any disabilities? Physical or mental.

None. (She can’t pronounce the letter “R” if it’s in the last syllable of a word, as in “wafer” or “paper”, ending up either mispronouncing it as the letter “W” instead, as in “wafew” or “papew”, or accidentally speaking in a British accent. Don’t tell her I told you this. She’s very sensitive about her rhotacism.)

8. Do they have any allergies?

None. (...though she once almost died after eating crab. That was most likely due to improper cleaning of the food. It never happened again. Strange.)

9. Favourite colour?

Seafoam Green. Or blue. (She also likes pink.)

10. Typical outfits?

Whichever works, really. I prefer clothing that would not impede my mobility over clothing that’s all for show. (She used to wear simple sleeveless, collarless, pants-less garments made of coral, see below, until she moved to the surface-world where a kind old lady gave her common clothes for free because she looked “cold” and “very naked”. Still, she tends to rip out the sleeves and collars and even pant-legs of her clothes whenever she feels like it, usually when she’s near the water and there’s no tedious socializing to be had.)

11. Do they wear any makeup?

No. (She does, but only rarely and mostly during “special” occasions.)

12. What weapon do they use, if any?

Between my magic and my staff, I can be quite the formidable fighter. (She isn’t. She has also been thinking of acquiring a trident recently. Three pointed tips are better than one blunt head.)

PERSONALITY -

13. Are they more optimistic or pessimistic?

Neither. I dwell in between optimism and pessimism. Nothing is ever absolutely positive or negative. There is also the middle, and there I thrive. (Technically, she’s more optimistic, considering she’s always optimistic that each day holds new things for her to learn. She does get pretty pessimistic when things don’t go her way, though, especially if she becomes obsessed with learning about something and her progress somehow gets impeded.) 

14. Are they introverted or extroverted?

Neither. I am an ambivert. (Mostly true, though she leans more towards being an introvert, as she spends more time being an introvert, with all her research and reading; however, she doesn’t get drained as much when she has to be an extrovert, though she tends to avoid opportunities where she has to be one.)

15. What are their pet peeves?

When someone interrupts my research on anatomy by slaying the creature I am to observe. *very audible sigh* Brutes... (She also can’t stand people who can’t wait in line, even though she herself hates lines.)

16. What bad habits do they have?

Someone once said I’m terrible with making friends, though to be fair, I’m here to study and learn, not to make friends. (She spends way too much time with her books and research and not enough time connecting with real people. It’s uncertain whether this is because she’s such an obsessive sage or it’s just a triton thing.)

17. Do they have any phobias?

I fear nothing. Fear only exists when one does not understand something. I seek to understand everything. I do not fear. (Insects, especially flying insects, specifically cockroaches. She thinks they’re gross and they always have the high ground when it comes to the element of surprise. She’d probably like them if they were larger, though, since she’d at least be able to keep them from entering her orifices without permission. Oh, and falling from great heights. She hates that.)

18. How do they display affection?

I don’t. Affection is unnecessary. As long as you are useful and efficient, you are. (She really doesn’t. At least, she doesn’t know how to. Even her compliments are awkward and strange.)

19. How competitive are they?

Competition is good as motivation for personal growth, but only when it motivates a competitor towards personal growth. (She isn’t as competitive as others are, though it’s mostly because she’s a triton and tritons don’t really consider surface dwellers as competition. At least, that’s what she believes.)

20. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

No response. (It differs on a daily basis, more like it adds up, but she doesn’t take to it like changing herself because she doesn’t like herself. It’s actually more of changing something here and then something there to unleash the full potential of her existence. Like having eyes that see better in the deepest dark or gills that can allow her to safely breathe in any environment. It’s alteration in the spirit of evolution, not alteration because of emotions.)

21. Do they have any obscure hobbies or routines?

Is collecting forks an obscure hobby? (It is.)

BACKSTORY -

22. What are the names and ages of their close family members? Parents, siblings, etc.

My father’s name is Mernes and my mother’s name is Erryn. I have one older brother, Jharvas, and no other siblings.

23. Is their family alive and are they still in contact with them?

Yes, they are all alive and well. My father and my mother live together back home while my brother has also set out to, according to him, find himself. I’m certain he’s simply pursuing the vampire woman again. Men have never been quite as smart as us. (Her brother is indeed with a female vampire but he’s not pursuing her. They’re working together, trying to make a life with each other.)

24. Where are they from? City, nation?

I’m from the sea, the depths of which no surface dweller may survive. (Her settlement is within the oceans east of Hegaehend, far east. They call it the City of Sh'lafijn, though others simply refer to as Marai.)  

25. Did they have a childhood best friend?

I had childhood friends, though I don’t think it wise to select from them a singular best. (She does. Her name was Dhorimyn. They’ve lost contact over the years. The last she’s heard of her, Dhorimyn had left their settlement for parts unknown.)

26. Have they had any pets?

I had a pet shark named Kadita. (They’re dead now.)

27. Did they grow up rich or poor? What were their living conditions like?

We used to move a lot when I was but a young girl. It took my parents a while to settle down in a place of our own. We were neither rich nor poor. We were in the middle. 

28. What is their educational background?

I went through formal schooling, learned from the greatest mentors of my settlement, and grew into a fine sage. I learned more on my own than I did with anyone. (She’s not kidding. Her curiosity actually led to her amassing more knowledge about things outside of their settlement than the “greatest mentors” of their settlement, which were the only 10 triton scholars of their settlement.)

29. As a child, what did they want to be when they grew up?

I always wanted to be a scholar, and now, here I am. (At one point, she also wanted to be a kraken. She thought having more limbs would be efficient. She was three.) 

30. What advice would they give to their younger self?

If I ever, for some strange reason, meet my younger self, I would simply tell her to continue swimming towards her current path. She will become me, and I am the best she can ever be. (We’ll agree to disagree.)

31. Growing up, were they ever bullied or were they the bully?

I was never bullied. I never bullied anyone. I just didn’t have the time. All my focus were on my studies and my research. (She was bullied. For being too absorbed in her studies. She was often referred to as the “teacher’s suckerfish” by the other children. To this day, she still thinks it was a compliment because “a suckerfish assists its host by feeding off of its parasites.” She wasn’t wrong.)

32. Who do they look up to/who is their role model?

No response. (She currently doesn’t look up to anyone, especially since she’s out of the sea and she takes to surface dwellers as subjects to study, not mentors to put on a pedestal. She used to look up to an older mentor from her settlement but he died after trying to “befriend” a female shark as a male shark, so that was that. It’s a long story, and it’s not what you think.)

PRESENT -

33. Do they currently have a place of residence?

I rented a small place for me and my...friends in Arx, at the Whale Water Port. It’s close to the water, plenty of fish, and has access to several libraries and universities. It’s the best place for me here on the surface. (Remember the kind old lady who gave her free clothes because she looked “very naked”? That became her landlady. It’s a good place for someone living “alone”.)

34. What is their most treasured possession?

My most treasured possession? I suppose the letter from my late colleague could fill this role. For now. At least until I find the answer to his question, and I will. Eventually. (She’s not as into possessions as most people are, so having a treasured...item isn’t on her radar. That should change once she gets a particular trident, though, and maybe a particular cloak and a particular decanter to boot. Maybe.)

35. What is their drink of choice?

I don’t drink that much, but I seemed to have developed a taste for the drink called Bilgewater. It reminds me so much of home. (Bilgewater is of course the bluish-brown, sometimes jet black, concoction that's made by soaking the inner organs of various sea creatures soaking in a fermented brine and then running them through a sieve to remove the bones and viscera. It's usually on most tavern's menu for at least 5 copper pieces, or you can ask your friendly neighborhood fisher to brew you one for the same price. The only real side effect of this drink it that the lingering taste of rotten, brackish seafood remains on the palette for a few hours.)

36. Which king/queen are they loyal to, if any?

None have sought me out yet, so I’m loyal to none. That should change if any reach out and we find ourselves agreeing in our principles. (So long as she get to do her research, she’s not very picky on a monarch to side with, but only if completely necessary. She’d rather not get drawn to unnecessary conflict if they can avoid them.)

37. Have they ever killed anyone?

No response. (In every attempt at progress, there will always be a casualty or two. Maybe even three. It is rarely intentional, however.)

38. What was their last promise and did they keep it?

I promised my brother I’d stay with our parents, keep them safe... (She could not keep that promise.)

LOVE -

39. What was their first kiss like, if they’ve had one?

It was...wet. And pretty sloppy. The things we do to satiate our curiosity, right? (Of course it was wet. She was underwater. It was mostly sloppy because it was their first kiss, and her “research” partner was understandably nervous, especially since she secretly liked Merrinyn. They never spoke of it again, mostly because Merrinyn concluded that it was not a fruitful experiment and Dhorimyn decided to keep her secret her own.)

40. Are they in a relationship/have a love interest?

Love is an unnecessary distraction that I cannot currently afford. (She is too busy with her research to consider a relationship, any kind of relationship, at the moment.)

41. Have they ever been in love?

Like I said, an unnecessary distraction. (She has not, though she believes she has.)

42. Have they ever had their heart broken?

No response. (Numerous times: When her pet shark Kadita passed away, when her older brother Jharvas left them in pursuit of a vampire, when she slowly lost contact with Dhorimyn, and when her favorite mentor died to sharks while in the form of a shark.)

SPIRITUALITY - 43. Do they follow a god, if so who?

I don’t follow gods. I don’t have faith in them as much as others do. I only have faith in myself, in what I can see, and in what I can prove. (That said, she does appear to admire both Habbakuk and Melora, especially the latter whose stories and lore she views as quite inspiring.)

44. What do they think happens to them after death?

I cease to exist and my body decays to join nature and the sea. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.

45. What is their spirit animal?

A kraken. Definitely a kraken. (She’s more like a dolphin, but okay.)