#(Your Wife(tm) sends me the photos)

[marzipanandminutiae]

Crimson Peak or Carmilla for the fandom ask.

How about I alternate?

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…

the first character i ever fell in love with (Carmilla):

Carmilla. Sorry, my heart belongs to the vampire, always. I've loved her from the first time I read the novella on Project Gutenberg, and Natasha Negovanlis' interpretation only deepened that love.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not (Crimson Peak):

There really aren't any characters who appear onscreen as living humans that I dislike. I guess I've thought more about Thomas' foibles than I did when I first saw the movie back in 2015? Mostly because I've thought more about all the characters since my fandom spiral, but I guess he had the farthest to fall, so to speak, in my regard.

I still love him. I just don't think of him as quite the same hapless innocent that I first saw.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not (Carmilla):

I've kind of gone from disinterest in H*llence (Laura/Danny) to active dislike. Though that's less because of the ship and more because of very bad experiences with some of the more...strident shippers.

my ultimate favorite character™ (Crimson Peak):

Honestly, I'm pretty fair and balanced in my love of the char- [trips and drops bag; dozens of photos of Lucille Sharpe spill out] shit shit no I'm just. I'm holding these for a friend; you don't understand

prettiest character (Carmilla):

Oh god. In a cast so full of eye candy, how does one even choose? They're all pretty in their own ways. You can't really compare, say, Laura to Mattie because their respective types of intense beauty are just so different.

Elle has the closest aesthetic to mine, though.

my most hated character (Crimson Peak):

The Parents Sharpe, both. Honestly, screw them. With Thomas and Lucille I'll talk until the cows come home about complex narratives and sympathetic villains and the fact that the movie isn't a morality tale and how half the Gothic thrill of it all is doomed love, love that dooms you, digging your own grave even with your attempts to clamber out, etc.

James and Beatrice don't even have the Sympathy Factor of good intentions paving their road to hell. And that's where I hope they somehow end up.

my OTP (Carmilla):

Hollstein (Laura/Carmilla). My Brand(TM) since 1871.

my NOTP (Crimson Peak):

Alan/Lucille. Seriously, ship what you like, but why is this even a Thing? They interact with each other like...three times, IF you count the deleted park scene. And one of those times ends in stabbing.

It just seems like Pair the Spares for people who want exclusive Edith/Thomas but don't hate Lucille. I guess I appreciate that it's kinder to my fave than, "Lucille is dead and Thomas spits on her grave as he and Edith waltz off into the sunset," which tends to be the other flavor of exclusive Edith/Thomas. But still.

favorite episode (Carmilla):

The movie. No, really, it's hard to decide among so many episodes of the show, but the movie really brings back the Gothic vibes. And we all know how into that I am.

The show is great, but give me sapphic bustle dress ballroom action, and I'll be the happiest Marzi in the land.

saddest death (Crimson Peak):

Thomas. Definitely Thomas.

God, that poor, spineless coward. It was too little, far too late, but he still finally worked up the nerve to Try. I can't help but be affected by his earnest desire for everyone to be happy; for both the women he loves to stay with him. It was never going to work, and that adds to the tragedy immensely.

And right at the end, how he tries to talk Lucille around when nobody else would. I couldn't even blame them- much as I love her, she's a terrible person, AND she's trying to kill his beloved wife. But he still sees something worth saving in her. Hell, after the first two stabs, he doesn't make any move to defend himself. He thinks she wouldn't ever mortally wound him; he trusts the one person who's always loved, protected, and supported him. He can't help loving her, right to the end.

The way she breaks down after the fatal blow, too, realizing what she's done and desperately wanting to take it back. She's always fixed things; she's always saved him. And now she can't. And it's her own fault.

All he can do is realize that, in the end, her rage and pain and fear overpowered than her love for him. All she can do is watch the only good and pure part of her life die, knowing she did that.

Excuse me; I've got some Gothic Tragedy in my eye.

favorite season (Carmilla):

S1. I think it was the best, the most self-contained, and the only one that avoided tripping just a little on the increasing complexity of the worldbuilding. Not that I don't love the whole show, mind- I just think the first season was the strongest.

If only it had had Mattie...

least favorite season (Crimson Peak):

Not applicable

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate (Carmilla):

I can do without Kirsch. He's...fine, I guess? I usually just forget he's there, and I've seldom written him into any of my fics. I don't hate him, per se- that would require caring enough about him for hatred.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave (Crimson Peak):

My ultimate fave for this fandom IS a piece of trash. She's an on-fire dumpster full of Moltov cocktails. Just thoroughly awful.

I adore her.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave (Carmilla):

She would hate being characterized as a cinnamon roll, but I want good things for Danny. And really, to quote Eldena Doublecast, who wouldn't?

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship (Crimson Peak):

This is kind of a redundant question for a Gothic romance movie with canon sibling incest, isn't it?

(The canon sibling incest, obviously. Though I don't really want to cleanse my soul about it- I don't feel at all guilty or gross for shipping it. It's Gothic romance. Messed-up relationships come with the territory. At least it's more or less consensual and there's no minor/adult stuff involved- that's better than a lot of Gothic romance gets.)

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship (Carmilla):

LaFontaine/Perry. Cute! Doesn't really hold my interest, though.

[againstasoryuudivorce]

[ID: Several internet posts and tags, accompied with the The Great Ace Attorney character who would say it or it relates to.

1. The crying anime girl as Ryunosuke and the chad as Kazuma. Ryunosuke is saying/wailing: “Babe, please have sex with me! I’m so horny”. Meanwhile Kazuma is going on and on about Karuma.

2. Title: “catboy to dogboy spectrum”. To the left is catboy with Barok and a little bit to the right of him is prosecutor Kazuma. Next is catboy leaning with Enoch Drebber. At equilibrium is Yujin and between equilibrium and dogboy leaning is headband Kazuma. After that in decending order to dogboy is Ryunosuke, Hosoanga and Sholmes. To be more correct, it’s off the charts for how much of a dogboy Sholmes is.

3. A chat between Herlock Sholmes and Barok van Zieks. Sholmes is sending several goofy Herlock goofy poses (TM). Barok responds “i’m breaking up with you”. Herlock responds with that exaparired pose where he holds up his hands to his face as talking to an useless snake.

4. A tumblr post about Susato Mikotoba: “teenage girl giggling and blushing as she writes in her journal in pink glitter pen but when you look what she’s writing it says ‘list of people i hope get struck by lightning’”

5. Tumblr post, it starts with Herlock Sholmes writing about a scenario of some kind:

“ *accenting slide whistle*

*descending slide whistle*

*several xylophone notes*

*wet “splat” noise*

‘Three!’”

Vilen Borahenvik responds something in Russian and Susato translates it with google translate. It says: “the sounds of sex with my unfortunate wife”

6. The telegraph juror tumblr post!

“L STOP RATIO STOP YOU HAVE TRENCH FOOT STOP YOUR WIFE IS UNFAITHFUL STOP YOUR INFANT SON HAS SUCCUMBED TO TUBERCULOSIS STOP”

7. Prosecutor Kazuma tumblr post talking to Barok: “strangle you with red thread tying us together”

8. A tweet by @/chuu4truth (profile photo of Ryunosuke and header name Ryuu Chuu) about Prosecutor Kazuma: “asked a friend to hang out and he said he was in the middle of getting revenge and would be busy with that for the next week”

9. Tumblr post by Sholmes: “*spanks your ass hard* can you help me with this math problem?”

Susato has taken two screenshots of tags. First one from van Zieks: “#yes i can help you with math #please don’t spank my ass tho”. The second one is from Ryunosuke: “#no I can’t sorry #please feel free to spank me again”. Susato comment on this is: “Additive inverses.”

10. Two pictures of Kazuma right next to each other. The first one is the crossed arms one, when he still has the headband. The other is Prosecutor Kazuma with his arms hanging at his sides.

Barok: “he needs to relax his shoulders”

Ryunosuke: “his das died”

Barok: “okay…. ummmmmm….. the tension his bearing isn’t gonna bring him back lol.” /End ID]

collection of some dgs shitposts is forgor to post here

kazuma is so swagless cringe and fail i hope he explodes (affectionate)

[deputy-hawk]

my brain has been a void today so sorry if this is incoherent

but part 4 rewatch:

okay i’ve forgotten nearly everything about this ep, so this should be interesting for me

the rancho rosa logo is black and white on black and white and feels more mushroom cloud-y than usual

for some reason i remembered coop’s “dougie traits” being consistently at the forefront from the start, but that’s not the case with kmac’s performance here? the warm smile he gives the slot-machine woman feels like a good 70% strength diluted coop grin

apparently bill shaker’s wife is called CANDY

CANDY SHAKER

what if candy and candie ever met????

bless her for realising how disoriented coop is from the start: “you wanna go home, dougie? is that right?”

and again, she reads him perfectly: “where is your home? is that right?” honestly, if left to her own devices, candy shaker might have been able to do so much for him

“lancelot court” and “merlin’s market” – they really weren’t messing around with the ham-fisted arthurian references were they

every time he says “home” in that kind of broken way i want to stab my own heart out with a fork

he may have forgotten his name, but he retains information from scene to scene, and knows what he wants there and then (to go home). his voice is still steady and deliberate, not kind of slurred as it becomes later, and his eyes are also more focused. he’s just so much more present than i remembered?

e.g. when he turns his head to see the limo driver opening the door and lets out that little gasp? that’s much more of an immediate, present reaction to his surroundings than we get in later episodes

“all right? all right. i’ll wait right here with you.” (the limo driver is another kind soul)

is this the only episode of this season to feature an actual live owl??

the final time he says “home” here – he’s no longer pained and desperate, just numb.

“thanks, bill. how’s martha? she ever fix that thing with paul?” good evening everybody and welcome to twin peaks: the return, the show where everything’s made up and the names don’t matter

“i heard.” “how’s that?” “you’re taking agent preston with you? really, gordon?” so who told denise. tammy herself, seeking advice? albert? or some other concerned party, another woman?

something that has literally only just stuck out at me: “when i had you working undercover at the DEA.” so she never really was just DEA!!! she was a plant of gordon’s all along. veeery convenient.

"will albert be with you?” “do birds fly?” these two.

the police communications officer is called maggie and i'm going to marry her

dennis craig who overdoses at the high school. they say it’s “chinese designer drugs”, but i feel like we’re supposed to conclude that it was really whatever richard had been dealing for red? the same stuff becky and steven and gersten are on?

“when the bell rang, he never got up from his desk…” has laura palmer echoes all over it

“pinocchio’s friend” was the moment we all realised we definitely hated chad, and with very good reason, but it also made me think of albert (”happy generations” scene) and that hurt?? the association of this actual piece of slime with earnest and principled agent rosenfield of the early 90s? um. no thanks my bud

i remember when this episode aired that people were saying nobody in the room seemed to react to bobby crying at laura’s photo? idk what all that chat was about because everyone responds to it. hawk looks sympathetic and concerned for him, andy and lucy share a moment of sadness together, and frank just looks confused

(frank didn’t live in twin peaks at the time, he probably didn’t even know bobby was ever connected to laura in any significant way)

and then everyone leaves the room except hawk and bobby, at which point i hope hawk just gave him a big hug. somebody please just hug bobby briggs.

WALLY

man, i wish i could experience this for the first time again, i’m pretty sure i had an out of body experience

i read that they met through TM? can you even imagine david lynch and michael cera as meditation buddies?? what a world

honestly harry goaz and kimmy robertson nearly corpsing throughout this entire scene is what really makes it what it is, which is a MASTERPIECE

i have a lot of thoughts on janey-e and sadly few of them are positive. (that’s for another time though, that’ll be a long long post)

kyle maclachlan tweeted the other day that his favourite scenes to shoot from this season were all the ones involving sonny jim <3

after watching this breakfast scene for the first time i was craving american style pancakes for days and when i finally persuaded my twin to make them with me we almost burnt down the house

correct me if i’m wrong but in the latest episodes we haven’t seen dougie verbalise any original responses at ALL? (the last one i can remember is “he’s lying”?) but when he spits out his coffee here his “hi!” isn’t a repeated phrase, it’s all his own

CONSTANCE IS BACK

every time constance is onscreen she is all i can focus on i am very sorry, i’m just gay

ohhhhhhhhh oh oh, i had forgotten this was this episode ohh no

by “oh no” i mean “this whole sequence is in my top five moments of the whole season so far and i have not emotionally prepared myself for this”

also very little ever adequately prepares me for seeing chrysta bell in sunglasses

THERE THEY ARE, ALBERT. FACES OF STONE.

*picture of doppelcoop comes up on the screen* warden: that’s your man, right? tammy: *glance at albert, sad little sigh* albert: *stern but heartbroken* gordon: HOLY JUMPIN’ GEORGE

this is kmac’s best scene maybe... ever? some people don’t feel that doppelcoop quite hits the mark, but i was 100% sold from hereon in

“it’s yrev very good to see you again old friend”

miguel ferrer was just so good. So Good.

when doppelcoop repeats himself verbatim and the background whirring increases by just a fraction and all three of them have these very controlled looks of terror on their faces. this SCENE.

“i’ve never really left home, gordon.”

“are you feeling alright, albert?” “i’m fine, tammy.” <3

i hadn’t remembered this but the little red box gordon carries around with him everywhere is for detecting if anything’s bugged, it’s how he checks tammy is wearing her wire

okay. yikes. i have to say this. that “i’m feeling better now” line, with the shot literally panning down to catch as much of tammy’s ass as possible, was 100% written just as it sounds. david lynch is many things, but a feminist icon he is not. this was unnecessary sexualisation, plain and simple. and from ALBERT of all people? in poor taste AND completely ooc

i have to continue to headcanon it as a remark about albert being relieved his conversation is no longer being recorded, simply because it’s the only way i am able to stomach my favourite character blatantly eyeing up a colleague who is half his age AND under his direct authority (something he would never do, being both GAY and NOT HUMAN SLIME)

but anyway, aside from those few horrific seconds which i am going to bury somewhere so deep down i won’t ever be able to find them again, this scene is also one of my favourites

if anyone has any thoughts on gordon’s “albert. albert… albert?” with the high pitched whine in the background growing steadily louder, then please send them to me. i’m aware that there’s a myriad of emotions in there, but there is such specificity in his delivery?

(also imo david’s acting here is as good as miguel ferrer’s and that is really really saying something)

“I’M SORRY GORDON.” “albert, this thing is turned up to the max, please.” *quietly and genuinely* “i’m sorry, gordon.”

what are these FEELINGS

“do you understand this situation, albert?” “…….blue rose.” “it doesn’t get any bluer.” this feels so different post part 14. they’re specifically referencing doppelgangers à la case #1 here?

“i know where she drinks.” the implication that he kept in touch with her and that they occasionally drank together??? please and thanks?

but also... ouch

honestly if this season had given me literally nothing else, it at least would have given me au revoir simone, so it all would have been worth it