#(Which is valid because I take forever to write notes and I don't have all day to do this)

[lululawrence]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

HIIIII omg I love whoever started this going around so much and THANK YOU for sending this to me!!! I also got this from @haztobegood and @allwaswell16 so thank you to ALL OF YOU really! I love love love this kinda thing and hope I haven't missed all of your lists... i'll have to be sure to look for those here soon hehe

Anyway, in no particular order, here are my fav fics I've written... (I think... lol favorites are HARD):

I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) - This was my big bang for this year and man it was a JOURNEY to write. I first came up with the idea as almost a crack fic idea back when I first was listening to Satellite... you know... when it was first released. lol I just didn't have the time or energy or anything to write it but I held onto the idea for ages and had it mostly brainstormed and everything! And then the time came to write it and... I couldn't find my notes. Anywhere. No idea what happened to the fic idea or my ramblings about it so I just did what I could with recreating it from memory and I still didn't know where or how or when it would end exactly, I just knew their journey would be over when it was over, and they spoke to me. When their story was done, I knew. And I am still so fucking proud of how it turned out and @moon-sun-thyme made the most incredible and gorgeous art for it, truly. Just. Probably gonna forever be one of my favorite fics I've ever written.

What I Have With You (I don't want with anyone else) - ohhhhhhh THIS FIC OKAY. It's my aspec alpha babies fic. I wrote it as a collaboration with @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed for @1dreversebang a few years ago now and it is still so special to me. I got to really delve into the aspec identities by embodying both Louis and Harry with one of those identities (aro Harry, ace Louis) and then added some non-traditional omegaverse dynamics (alpha/alpha) AND one of my all time favorite tropes, FAKE DATING! It was also a journey to write this fic and I worked so hard to make sure I really felt like I was doing justice to our identities and trying to give good and valid and understandable representation to them, and I really think I was able to achieve that. Some of the comments have been the most thoughtful and humbling and just beautiful I've ever gotten as well, which is just the cherry on top, right? So yeah, this baby defo gets to be on this list for sure hehe

You Don't Care About Me (One More Night) - This fic is one of those instances where you write what you want to read, you know what I mean? I had been craving a fic like this one, and I'd read some similar ones but I wanted MORE. The more I thought about it, the more the idea shaped up, and before I knew it I had (I wish I was joking) something like SIX PAGES of brainstorming with the timing laid out and what would happen when to make sure it was slow burn enough but also character development at the right pace and also just... everything I wanted, you know? I've never outlined a fic to that level before and I probably never will again, but after outlining it like that, I then went and wrote this fic, which was the longest fic I'd ever written to that point, in less than a month. It just flowed from me every time I sat down at my computer. It turned out exactly as I had hoped, and it is one of the few fics of mine that I have gone back to read repeatedly. I've not actually read it all the way through repeatedly, there's usually just bits and pieces I'm craving at the moment, but that's still far more than I generally do with my own fics. So I'll take it hehe

a moon, a rainbow, and a carnation - Okay okay okay, there's a lot about this one that makes this one something I'm super proud of, even though it feels ridiculous because it was a fic I wrote for this year's @wordplayfics, but there's a lot of reasons why I really am proud of it lol For one, I'm still new to writing Oscar and Pedro, and I love them SO much but I've only written them in one fic previously (and it isn't even out yet lololol) but!!! Its only the second fic I've ever written with a decent amount of Spanish in it. The lovely @nouies has been so kind as to cheerlead me about the pairings as well as help me with the Spanish, and we have had SO much fun omg. She helped me SO MUCH with this fic, and I so appreciate it and am so happy with how it was able to turn out because of her help! I also tried a new footnotes thing with the translations that turned out to work even better than I anticipated, and that just makes it even better, right? So yeah. I'm proud of it because I did all of that AND ALL WITHIN A WEEK. YASSSS

'Cause What I Want Came True - Okay so once again this one is one that Lou indulged me on because who doesn't love Diego Luna, hmm? lol but I was struggling with Wordplay again and suddenly I came upon a few quotes and an entire soft and hazy idea presented itself that I just HAD to write. It is almost semi-stream of consciousness while also not being quite that way, and I just really REALLY love how it turned out. I've actually already gone back and reread this one and the previous one on this list since publishing, and they've only been out for a week or two at this point. That's impressive and very rare for me. So yeah, quite proud.

I am missing some others that I would probably say are favorites, but you did limit me to five. lololol and These were the five I thought of off the top of my head haha so they will do for now hehe THANK YOU SO MUCH for asking and letting me ramble about my fics for a little bit!! sorry this got so looooong....

[martsonmars]

Hello friends! First SSS of the year for me. Also an early post because I want to write after sleeping and maybe some validation early in the day will help 💖 I have six snippets from six WIPs to share (only the fifth one written today, which makes me sad because I really wanted to share new new words, but it's okay) and I want to talk about them, so I'm throwing everything under the cut with the tags.

You can vote for the WIP you'd like me to continue the most (except Like We Had A Clue, because I know people are waiting for an update and it would skew the vote hahaha). Pick one of the other 5! Though as always I'll follow inspiration and not what the people want.

Love you all <3 hope you're taking care of yourself in these trying times.

1. First EGF WIP. I have many ideas for EGF, but considering a) possible writer's blocks, b) exams, c) other non EGF related WIPs, I honestly don't know how much I'll manage to write. This one is the most “urgent” one because it's a collab with @aroace-genderfluid-sheep and he's already done so many cool things for it and I'm so excited!!! The snippet I'm sharing is all I've written for this fic. Oh well!

“You could've at least sent us to Dante's inferno. That would've been intellectually stimulating.”

“This place is plenty stimulating.”

Of course it is. It's a fucking sex dungeon.

2. Second EGF WIP. I shared something from this already. There's hope I'll finish this one because it's short, but knowing myself I can't make promises hahaha.

“I’m sorry,” they say. Their voice is deep and smooth, like I imagine a cello would sound if it could talk. “I don’t think I can have dinner with you tonight.”

I can’t hide how much it stings. Of course my monster under the bed would come out just to reject me.

3. Like We Had A Clue. Chapter 5 is outlined in detail but I'm still struggling so much with it. Have some sentences I might have shared already in the past because I wrote them months ago!

“Are you trying to trap me, Snow? Keep me here to make food for you forever?”

“What if I am?”

I raise an eyebrow. His hand is still on my arm. He lets it fall.

4. WIP I shared from a couple of weeks ago. I want to have fun with this so I'm not forcing myself to write it, but I also really want to finish it. It's a struggle, always 🤣

(There's nothing innocent about four thousand words of Fangvald having a pity wank after Cherry spat on his face and demanded to know the true motives behind his betrayal.)

But it's fanfiction. Exploring fictional worlds and fictional characters and fictional relationships.

It would say nothing about me if he hadn't also linked two of my longest 4am rants about loneliness and deserving love.

5. Mystery WIP. I started plotting it yesterday and I've already lost steam. We'll see if it ever gets written.

25/12, 11:27AM

basiltea: Of course I'll help you.

basiltea: You can't be trusted to handle this alone and make it work.

Excalisbury: I LOVE YOU

basiltea: I'm just saving you from yourself.

6. Picture book story! The issue with this one is that I have to rewrite it completely. I have @johnwgrey's super useful notes, but I hate rewriting and editing with a burning passion, and this story needs so much work it hurts. But I'll do it!

Of course Snow had no reason to trust him. The fact that Baz had decided he’d never even try to hurt him again couldn’t erase five years of antagonism. Especially because Snow didn’t know about his change of heart. (It would’ve been ridiculous. Hey, Snow, I decided I don’t hate you anymore. Quite the opposite, instead. Can I kiss you?)

That was a lot. I feel like Simon and Baz are possessing me because I want to write SO MUCH, I literally can feel the words pushing to get out, but the second I open a doc it all fades out. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be more motivated in the morning.

So many no pressure tags for you lovelies:

@wellbelesbian @urban-sith @tea-brigade @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @facewithoutheart @palimpsessed @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @fatalfangirl @prettylightsbigcity @whatevertheweather @jbrrring @confused-bi-queer @moodandmist @bookish-bogwitch @letraspal @dragoneggos @captain-aralias @takitalks @excalisbury (stealing your @ for Simon's Discord username hahaha) @otherworldsivelivedin @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @gekkoinapeartree @bazzybelle @basiltonbutliketheherb @messofthejess @ivelovedhimthroughworse @nightimedreamersworld @artsyunderstudy @foolofabookwyrm-activated @ionlydrinkhotwater @yellobb @orange-peony @ic3-que3n @whogaveyoupermission @katmiscellanious @yeonjunenby @erzbethluna @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @shrekgogurt @raenestee @onepintobean @stitchyqueer @hushed-chorus

[diodellet]

*slides in*

How about 3, 16, 17 and 29 for the fic writer asks?

omg i didnt think id ramble this much (thank u for enabling me ner 🤧💕💕)

3. how you feel about your current WIP

tbh i'm not super confident about my writing any time i come out from from a long long hiatus of not posting anything. also like… i'm not super confident writing other charas aside from jamil since i don't really think ab them as much… (sorry leona-natics* whenever this drabble gets posted, but like fingers crossed the sitch will hopefully be exciting enough)

*i think it might have to do with the fact that i kinda hc leona on the grayspec++have more vv specific hc characterizations i like of him, but ig i do see his appeal (one of m'oomfs is a leona-natic and well ahu her propaganda might've been subconsciously assimilated)

but ahaha i tend to write things that i'm very personally interested in so i'll find a way to have fun with it, i'll be gucci i just get too into my head, it's a vicious cycle as a writer.

16. favorite place to write

uhhh im a very sedentary person, probably a result from the pandemic, and being a thorough homebody even after that

hmm i would say id like a nice ambient public place with coffeeeee my blood my life force Some amount of people engrossed in their own work, but like in the ph, esp in a place populated by a lot of uni students, cafes end up being hella cold (im skin and bones the cold is Evil)++noisy (which i don't see as a big bad thing esp since i like socializing with my friends...at the cost of putting off my own writing oops HAHAHA)

17. talk about your writing and editing process

oh boy. here we go. one thing to note throughout all this: my only consistent practice as a writer is inconsistency. (and ig, if i try hard enough, i can usually put out a passable 200-300 words in one sitting)

sometimes i can outline a fic and take forever chipping away at it

^^(case in point: that sebek x vampire!reader x silver fic... i joked abt waiting until book 7 would drop on EN but it has been Stuck. i wanna write bi-disaster sebek so bad though 🤧🤧)

other times my actual writing veers waaaaay into a diff plotpoint instead of what i have plotted out

^^(there're these 2 now-removed bullet points in wcidfy's outline for ch 3 that went: "do i have the balls to write a fever scene… gaguhan anhirap nito pag walang ob [tl: fuck this is hard (to write) without overblots]" and "i also keep thinking of a scene in the (scarabia) gardens…and lying about bees…weird")

and sometimes i can just shit out 1k-ish words unprompted.

^^though this last example leads to my most rough writing++editing ('ily but leave me tf alone' and 'no id rather pretend'), i only look over for immediate errors, but keep iffy-phrasings and repeated words, but sometimes i still miss incomplete sentences that i jus quickly fix after posting ahahaha.

in terms of my more "polished" writing, i edit as i write (<- i do Not recommend this style. it's very unsustainable if ur planning to do more conventional writing/publishing and it's very easy to get trapped in your writer's block)

and after finishing 80% of it, i try to get a second pair of eyes on it (thanks @jessamine-rose mwaps) because validation of works in progress feels good it also helps to have a trusted outside person look at the work with fresher eyes. also smtimes we get into bouncing ideas back nd forth that we spawn new brainrot lmao like this👇

i like to call my writing a "semi-polished first draft" partly out of self-defense and self-criticism. but really, i think i'd rather have "good enough" writing posted than "my best" because i could spend forever hoarding my wips. i think i'll always have regrets over not fleshing out certain beats/using certain phrasings and references, but i also enjoy looking back on my writing and seeing the incremental, microscopic progress. it makes the process more enjoyable than self-flagellating.

on a personal note, the writing workshop scene can be brutal. with some criticism being needlessly harsh, sure it produced some of my "best" writing but the process was Not Fun. while i get that being able to revise meaningfully is an important thing, i think the endgoal of feedback (from my short exp of betaing for friends) shud always be aimed towards uplifting the writer's aim to create/improving the writer's vision of what they wanna achieve, especially in a craft that is as solitary as writing. wait ill rb a post about making ur shitty pots, very in-line with making art in general

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

very hard. i hate thinking of titles, thats why i yoink lines from songs (who cares if the vibe doesnt fit im adding layers of interpretation or sumn🥴🥴). ACTUALLY wcidfy had like 3 other possible names (it was either *rolls out list* hairtie, nonequivalent exchange, or ben franklin effect* wcidfy was the most bearable one.) *i tried to look up how to distill the psychological phenomenon of someone probably liking u more after u do a small favor for them into 2-3 words, but it had to be a WHITE MAN'S NAME 🤢🤢NAW!!!!

for few other examples:

'say what you mean' was initially titled 'oh how the tables turn'

'roommates? more like roomfoes' was first titled 'pet peeves'

'hypothermia' was first titled 'frigid' but then i thought of paradoxical undressing nd stuff and da pseudo-warmth

i've also moved a bunch of other plot beats from wcidfy's main document into a file called "part 45678 of wcidfy"

as u can see i prioritize making myself laugh wid my wip titles. i wanna put the illusion that my writing's not that serious. unless it is? idk i'm not sure how to describe my writing in terms of its vibes.

(list of fic writer asks, ahaha bug me ab my wips)

[eriexplosion]

49 & 50!

49. What is the worst possible outcome you think is plausible for Season 3?

Oh boy the 'good' thing about having an anxiety disorder is that I can come up with a dozen of these in about 30 seconds. I think that the most basic answer is that anything that validates the "EVERYONE WILL SACRIFICE THEMSELF FOR OMEGA" reddit view which isn't Plausible to me in the strictest sense so much as I'm aware that anything is possible when it comes to writing taking a nosedive. And it would make them absolutely unbearable if they're right. But honestly any combo of:

Tech dies for real - this isn't just because I want him back either, I just think that it operates against the themes of the show to ask 'can clones be more than soldiers' and then immediately kill off the guy that got the most focus in that. Like you can't ask a narrative question like that and then go "nope actually self sacrifice is what they're good for".

(Less Bad but still frustrating - Tech comes back fully abled and like nothing happened from his massive drop out of the sky, I see the potential for a good story about new disability and I would be disappointed to see it passed up)

Self sacrifice from the batch or any of the clones in general, enough of clones sacrificing themselves we have seen it. So many times. The most interesting thing clones can do right now is live in a world that was not built for them, and to survive when they were never supposed to.

Echo leaves with Rex for good at the end, this family has been split up ENOUGH oh my God. Whatever they do I want them to do it together because I think starting AND ending the show with a fractured team would just be frustrating.

Trying to cram the whole clone rebellion into one season - TBB has way too narrow a focus to properly show the clone rebellion that's been growing, that's something that should focus on all the clones not just this one group.

50. How do you hope the series will end (as basic or as detailed as you want)

Okay so my dream season 3 path: Tech is revealed to be alive but majorly hurt fairly early in the season, Crosshair and Omega are out of Tantiss by the end of episode two or three. Spend the first 6 episodes on these 2-3 groups (because Tech could either be on his own or with Crosshair & Omega depending on where he's been taken post fall) trying to reunite and zip them up in a mid-season two parter, we end episode eight with everyone together again for the first time in ages.

But Hemlock and Tantiss are still a problem and there are still a ton of clones inside Tantiss. If Emerie helped Crosshair and Omega escape maybe she's still in there too? Could be a good way for Omega to double down on We Don't Leave People Behind. Either way, the batch finally takes some initiative and they join with Rex to liberate the clones in Mt Tantiss.

Ideally, the batch all survive (I think it's a weird vibe if they finally take action against the Empire and lose one of them, like, I do not want the show to narratively Punish them for actually doing something lol) and we end the series on a high note of success either with an ending where they do retire to Pabu along with the liberated clones or they have the batch fully join the clone rebellion because there are more clones to rescue and they can't leave any of them behind. They're still fighting not because they're soldiers but because they're a family, and every clone is part of it. (Lead into maybe a more general clone show that focuses on the clone rebellion as a whole as they try to fight the Empire in different ways? They did say this was the end of THIS chapter so I'm hoping there's more clone content on the way.)

I do prefer the second option, there's a bit of bittersweetness to it - they're still fighting, Omega won't be a kid forever and she's giving up more of that limited childhood in order to fight for her brothers, there's always the possibility of something tragic happening to them in the future - but it's an ending that still reflects the theme of being more than soldiers. They're not fighting because they're soldiers, they're fighting for their family and for the life they now know they can have afterwards.

...I just have a lot of thoughts this isn't even half of them but I've rambled long enough. Anyway I want a happy ending so bad.

[margridarnauds]

Do you have a favorite musical composer or director? If so, why are they your favorite!

Tough question, but I do maintain that I do, genuinely, like Frank Wildhorn's work.

Okay -- Pretty much all the critical reviews of his stuff are 100% accurate. The man often sacrifices plot and characterization to spectacle and pop ballads, but...there's something to be said for SPECTACLE, isn't there? We're living in an age where Broadway is increasingly....un-ambitious. Which you could argue has been the case for ages now, but it's not getting *better*. I grow weary of the endless putting down of jukebox musicals; I think they're a valid art form and a valid approach to musicals, but the truth is that we DO currently have no fewer than three currently on Broadway at the moment. The age of the overblown gothic spectacle has been swept away by this sleek, modern musical that is increasingly embarrassed of the fact that it's a musical to begin with.

And...Frank Wildhorn is many things, but chief among them is EARNEST. He genuinely BELIEVES in his musicals and in romance and in love ballads and sword fights and adventure, and it shows. Yes, the time I spent with Wonderland was 2 hours of my life that I'll never get back, but STILL. He *cared* about it. He LOVES spectacle, he loves over the top stagings that draw you into the world of the musical, he loves period settings and that scratches a specific place in my id.

He also, genuinely, LOVES villain songs, and it shows. His most iconic songs are, overwhelmingly, the villain songs -- "Life after Life" from Dracula, "The Reign of Terror" from Robespierre, "I Will Prevail" from Wonderland, "Falcon in the Dive" from Scarlet Pimpernel, "Monster Inside of Me" from The Man Who Laughs, "A Story Told" from The Count of Monte Cristo, either "Hurricane" or "The Game Begins" from Death Note (depending on if you view a "villain song" as belonging to a villain or an antagonist), "You belong to me" from Carmen (though imo, Zuniga is Wildhorn's most vile and terrifying villain, yes, even in competition with Hyde), "You and I" from Svengali...the man GETS villain songs and how they work, and it means that his villains, imo, are often more charismatic and interesting than his leads (who are often, again, imo, bland self-inserts who hurt the women around them, who take it with a loving smile because they are the Madonna in the Madonna-Whore dichotomy...which could be interesting if it was explored more but is often taken for granted.)

This is especially true with his female villains which...I know we've discussed this before, but it's so GREAT to see female villains get VILLAIN SONGS. There truly aren't that many female villains in musical theatre, fewer who actually...are allowed...to be villains. It feels sometimes like, even though we've improved so MUCH even since I first started being a musical fan, about....14 years ago...there's still an expectation that women's songs in theatre should be Girl Power songs, or sad, or soft, and...that's great, but sometimes, *I* want to be the badass, powerful one. Also pretty lady step on me. Morgana from XCalibur (even though she suffers from some tragic writing in both versions of it) and Hatter from Wonderland, even though they're not EXEMPT from sexist writing decisions, ARE badass, when they're allowed to be. Likewise, Lucy from Jekyll and Hyde (again, who isn't exempt from sexist decisions) gets some of the most iconic songs from the musical. Mina from Dracula, ditto-- "Please Don't Make Me Love You". Carmen and Mata Hari (and, again, ditto for not being exempt from sexism) both have their OWN shows, and, imo, are presented in a way that tries to understand them and gives them some really strong songs that get to the heart of why they are the way they are. I'm forever in MOURNING for "If you Only Knew" from Jekyll and Hyde, since it REALLY got to the heart of Emma/Lisa's character in an interesting way (likewise for "Lisa Carew" from the concept album). "Viva" from Carmen is a great example of a woman just...enjoying life and enjoying living life, while "I Can't Go Back" from Mata Hari is a great exploration of Mata's fears, her anxiety over being dragged back into a life she's terrified of leaving behind.

The man is a middle aged straight white male composer -- fine, but also...how many composers are perfect? It's a matter of choosing what flaws you're willing to live with and which ones you aren't. Plenty of people are fine with, for example, Kunze and Levay's, and I feel like they do less but claim more re: their depictions of women. I feel like Frankhorn...does *try*, especially since marrying Wao Yoka, and I think that he does love her. I think that she's really helped him expand his repertoire and his range as far as his subject matter, and I think that his move to Japan (specifically, Takarazuka) and Korea as far as his focus is probably for the best, as it allows him to do what he wants with an audience who will actually appreciate him.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

https://at.tumblr.com/justanotherdamnedweeb/why-there-is-so-much-more-to-dazai-angos/7l3meuzki819

What do you think of this take?

Hey, anon! Thanks for the ask.

...I'm going to be perfectly honest with you: I know you probably are just curious because of my latest posts about Ango but I do feel a little uncomfortable with being sent a direct link to someone else's meta when I haven't interacted with this person. Metas can take a long time to write and involve a lot of passion about the source material - I just don't want to give unwarranted thoughts or replies on someone's post who didn't ask for it and potentially dampen that enthusiasm in any way.

Idk, maybe I'm just being weird about it... ugh. You guys can of course continue to send links to other metas and ask for thoughts just... be aware that I may choose not to reply. Okay?

Having said all this, I do have a few things to say about this meta - number one being:

It's definitely worth a read! I thought the idea that the Division covered up the Mimic incident was pretty much implied since any sign of collaboration with the Mafia would've been a huge scandal (I mean, Mimic's presence in Japan was bad enough already) but 55 Minutes confirms it, and I don't think many people have actually read that novel. And yeah, it would definitely have to be Ango who was directly involved in, if not in charge of, the cover up, being so intimately connected to everything that happened. Of course, this has little to do with who ordered it (it certainly would not have been Ango himself).

I will admit, I forgot about the line in Dark Era that tells us Oda's grave was unmarked - it appears my memory was overridden by the anime, so I was glad for the reminder. And putting all this together - yeah, it seems very likely, if not a given, that part of the Mimic clean up involved wiping Oda's records and existence from the public.

Which is. Yeah. Undeniably shitty. And a very valid reason to hate someone if that person who got erased happened to be your best friend.

Ultimately, I think the degree of sympathy that fans of the series feel for Ango really is going to come down to the degree of autonomy you think he has. The more autonomy he has, the less sympathetic he becomes.

I'm personally inclined to think his choices are quite limited. This meta actually makes me think that even more so. Ango, when he first joined the Mafia, had an elaborate cover story that involved hacking and being on the run and then being given a chance to work in the Mafia due to his skills. You'd think this would have him laying low for awhile and watching his moves carefully so as not to draw attention to himself or cause a scene but that's... very much not what happened.

Ango starts off his story making sure the memories of people who lost their lives stayed alive, and ends it by erasing memories of others from existence - including that of a very dear friend of his. That much is stated in the original meta.

However, it's also important to note that the original Mafia reports for the DHC victims were a result of at least some degree of stubborn defiance. Ango put those reports in Mori's hands personally, even though Mori was initially annoyed and never asked for them. He literally risked pissing off the boss of the organization he had just started his undercover mission in. And yet, he didn't bend the rules to preserve the memory of someone he cared deeply for? Or those soldiers who will be forever forgotten and disgraced? Idk if I fully believe that simple compliance explains all of this. It almost seems to me that Ango expressed more of his own opinions and values in the Mafia than he ever did in the Division. That's... weird. At least, it is to me. (I have another meta coming out on Ango's relationship with the Division in which I will elaborate on this a little more.)

Also it's worth reiterating that Dazai was already furious with Ango for the initial betrayal - though I'm sure the cover up just added more salt to the wound. (To be clear, I've said Dazai's hatred is illogical - as in, it's not a reaction the cold-blooded "Demon Prodigy" would have. I never said it wasn't an understandable emotional reaction on Dazai's part (or at least that was not my intent!) - that's why I actually like that continued animosity! Dazai has a strong capacity to be very cruel to others. But this time he's cruel because he's hurt. That's incredibly human of him and it makes their dynamic very compelling to me.)

If the op of this meta sees this and feels annoyed or just doesn't want this here for any reason, I will gladly take this down.

And anon, for what it's worth I hope my response here didn't hurt your feelings either. I really enjoyed getting to read what you sent; it gave me lots to think about! I'm just always a little worried that I'm invading other's boundaries and whatnot. My initial reaction to this was more of an anxiety thing on my part, I'm afraid.

[mochidreambubble]

10, 15, 18, 27 and 40 for Ashe and A), D) and J) for you, if you don't mind :3

asdfghjk the way the ask came pretty fast. tysm for being keen to know more about Ashe ✨TY for all the questions, I enjoyed just rambling on about him 💕(and I do mean I rambled, I think I typed quite a bit much but no one stopped me XD)

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them? Promising Vivian he absolutely would never step one foot into Scarlet Hollow (Ha!). She started needing him to promise when he started having dreams from a young age, and she just knew on sight (well, on the vaguest description) where he was talking about. It was both frustrating for him because it's not like Vivian ever explained why, after all. He was never going to keep that promise, and with Vivian gone and a good excuse to go... Well. No one left to physically stop him. He's going home. It didn't start haunting him until it literally does of course (why would mother warn you for no reason, Ashe).

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first? I had one line in his initial profile that he prefers to be direct, but he's not necessarily brutally honest. It's a favour he wants both ways, for people to be frank or straightforward with him. He knows people don't start out that way so you can take it as his method of extending the hand first, no hiding behind masks or lies. And no he doesn't think his words through, unfortunately. He absolutely made the The Dead Moms club joke every chance he gets, and that may not have been the best thing to say to Tabby first meeting lol.

18. What embarrasses them? It's the 'I wish I did not do that' type. I also kind of mentioned in his profile write-up, being that he knows people like to look at him because he's textbook Hot. But when he first started as a music streamer, he really did want people to subscribe for the music - even with the understanding that Covers would get more interest than the Original stuff. But that was going almost nowhere so he did the very clickbaity thirst trap route, a lot of things he could never confess to Vivian or anyone actually. Boosted his following enough to make an ok-ish living with an apartment (and a needy bossy AF cat roommate) but now he just can't scrub that part of his history away. Once anything is on the internet it's there forever. He probably doesn't truly want Stella to look him up but it may be too late for that. (on a very hilarious note, his full name is embarrassing to him personally. It's a mouthful and sounds like nonsense) 27. What causes them to feel dread?  Is saying the minute he stepped into Scarlet Hollow a cop-out. Being in the Holler lights his Mystical senses as if he was standing right on a pyre. Sure he's had vague dreams all his life but actually being in the place that had been calling, practically screaming in recent months leading up to his visits... He's 4 days for 4 days on Cassandra premonition on Something Absolutely Insane and People are going to Die or get Hurt (except on Day 4 where no one truly did but a lot of things certainly happened all at once all of a sudden even). Also as of Day 4, our dear Sybil Forsyth. Which internally confuses him because he can swear to himself he sensed no malice but when she stared him down after the whole Kaneeka incident? Something just doesn't sit right with him. (Am I saying he at least genuinely trusted her prior Episode 4? Yes. The over-reliance on his Mystical trait is maybe even a huge potential detriment) 40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws? You can say Tabby hit the nail on the head about him. He needs people to like him and needing that validation maybe does eat at him. He takes being a people person to the extreme sometimes. So you can say he knows he's needy for love and attention and he's aware but he sure as hell as not managed to do anything to change that. It circles back to wanting people to trust him and people he can be equally honest with as well. Also the double edge sword of 'Do people like me only because of my face or actually for me'. Game-wise, it does work out for him in gaining trust at least but he does not know that.

[redheadlesbianfreak]

🔥 for tmnt and 🔥 for fanfiction (or writing, thats good too)

don't have to answer both but would like to hear your opinions on them

Ooo, this is such a great ask, thank you!

For TMNT 🔥 I have quite a few opinions, but here’s one of my biggest ones: older versions of Leonardo aren’t boring characters. Far from it. They usually have great character arcs or fun aspects to their personality. I think in the earlier iterations of TMNT, Leonardo’s personality is one-note, but that can be said of his brothers as well.

The Rise version of Leo is a different take on his character, which is valid, but it doesn’t mean it’s above the rest just because it’s different. I appreciate the quiet Leo, the one who struggles with being leader. The one who has to keep those struggles to himself, the one who is scared of failing his brothers, the one who wishes he could let loose like them.

As for myself, I love all four of the turtles deeply. Michelangelo is traditionally my favorite, but I find Leo relatable in many iterations. I’m the oldest, I’m quiet, and I also struggle with perfectionism. I appreciate older takes on this character, and it can be disheartening to see people say “there’s nothing to him” because he isn’t as loud or cracking jokes all the time.

For writing 🔥 this is an interesting one for me. I just started posting my work online fairly recently, which is a bit terrifying. It’s also taught me a lot about myself and about the way I see writing in general; now, I kudos and comment regularly, where I used to be too shy. I think my biggest unpopular opinion is that it’s okay to delete your works from the Internet given the circumstances.

I really don’t think it’s a good idea to delete or trash your work permanently. Yes, you’re older work is going to look bad to you, but only because you’ve since grown as a writer. Other people will likely still enjoy your older works. That being said, I’ve seen authors say they deleted their works from AO3 for mental health reasons or because they wrote them at a very bad time in their life. And then they got harassed by readers.

Usually, I see people say to never delete your works from archive sites, and to just orphan them. Because “what if it’s someone’s favorite fic?” And yeah, I would say that’s good advice for someone who is embarrassed by their older work, but for someone who is deeply upset with knowing it’s still online? Sorry, but mental health is more important than fanfiction.

I would never delete my own works online even if I do tend to get the insecurity bug. They’re proof that I was able to write and publish complete stories, and I am proud of that. I also think that you need to be aware that once you post something to the Internet, it’s going to be there forever to an extent.

That being said, it’s important to remember that every situation is different, sometimes nuanced, and the same advice doesn’t work for everyone. And while I almost always believe in archiving, you can always repost deleted works, and it’s never okay to sacrifice mental health for the sake of strangers on the Internet.

[analyzingadventure]

Psi: What we’ve learned so far (1-8)

Before we get into the actual thing, I wanna explain what this post is going to be about and why I’m writing it; if you’re not really interested in that you can skip ahead

On my first watch of Psi’s first 19 episodes, I’ve had this struggle with the series. To me it has often felt like the world of Psi feels empty and hollow, the characters shallow, and the pacing of the first arc has felt off, like the pace of the overall story going at a snail’s pace and little to nothing actually happening in each episode.

Now there’s three main elements that I think could be causing this impression on me. First, it’s the unavoidable comparison to Adventure, a series I am far too familiar with for my own good if we’re being honest, and a series where I could probably list off every imporant detail from each episode from sheer memory. Second, I often enjoy a series better on a rewatch, my first impressions tend to be incredibly luke-warm and because I’ve only experienced the story once, I don’t remember it quite as well as something I’ve seen at least a dozen times. So between these two factors, it is very possible that my first impression of Psi’s first 19 episodes has felt as negative as it did due to nostalgic overfamiliarity vs unfamiliar first impressions.

But there is that third factor too. It is entirely possible that Psi just isn’t written like Adventure (not nececarily better, more like “in a way that panders to me”), and my observations of it so far have been accurate

And really, I just want to get to the bottom of it. I want to try and figure out why Psi has felt the way it has to me so far, and that is why I’m going to make these posts (because this post is way too long already and I had to split it into two parts)

So what this is going to be is quite simple to be honest; like I mentioned above, I could probably list every major story element in Adventure for each episode from memory, where as with Psi I can’t do that. So in this post I am just going to rewatch each episode of Psi and write down what we learn about the series in each episode; what we learn about the world, the characters, the mechanics, the lore, the beings that live in it. This is mainly so that I can form a better, slightly more objective view of Psi in my mind instead of depending on the vague memory I have of it so far.

And yes, this is going to be just, mostly, me writing bullet point notes of obvious things we learn in each episode; not plot summaries or a timeline of key-events, just things we can “learn” from the episode. For example, while a Digimon evolving is a key-event, if we don’t learn anything new about the Digimon that relates to their backstory or personality, then it’s not worth mentioning, and will try to do my best to not repeat information that gets re-inforced through out different episodes. Also, this isn’t a critique of Psi’s writing

Also, I am going to do my best to write these from the perspective of “not knowing anything”, in the sense that I’m trying to parse out info and write it out like someone who knows nothing about Digimon would be able to get out of it. Also, I won’t nececarily write these in the order they happen in the episode, rather I might write what we learn from specific subjects in bulk (character establishment, world building, etc)

One last thing, I could possibly do this for Adventure later on, just for comparison’s sake, if I have the time, but first let’s just start with this.

Episode 1: Tokyo Digital Crisis

Opening Monologue doesn’t get too many points for what we learn from it as it is an opening monologue, stating kind of obvious stuff we’ll learn very fast, but none the less; it’s the year 2020, our world is connected by the Network, and in there live Digimon

Tachikawa Computer; minor foreshadowing for later

We're introduced to the main character Taichi, supporting cast Koushirou, getting a decent idea of their main personality traits (Taichi is friendly and very open, while Koushirou is polite, a little bit more withdrawn/closed) and briefly get to see Hikari (as well as Mama Yagami and Miiko)

Taichi is putting great effort into preparing for the summer camp; he’s the type of person who likes to plan ahead it seems. That said he can also rush into action without thinking if he’s worried enough/the situation is dire enough; this is elaborated when Taichi learns his family could be in danger, when he leaps in to catch the falling Koromon, or when he leaps into battle with Agumon

Taichi is surprisingly calm when realizing he’s been spirited away and sees a weird little disembodied pink head floating in space, only really appearing shock after a small dinosaur speaks to him; he sometimes needs a moment for everything to settle in before he even knows how to react

Taichi is more than willing to get physical beat up weird monsters

Koromon knows Taichi’s name, and Taichi somehow heard Koromon calling him; there’s a mysterious connection between these two

Agumon is more than happy to see Taichi, immidiately willing to both protect him and help him achieve his goals; Agumon seems to love Taichi unconditionally, despite only meeting him for the first time

We learn that one of the primary features of Digimon is their ability to evolve, Koromon evolving all the way to Greymon and the unnamed enemy’s (Algomon’s) evolutions being examples of this

There is a mysterious, unknown force in this universe, one that tends to manifest in the form of mysterious, glowing symbols (the Crests), that will appear in certain moments to certain people (our main characters), almost like it’s reacting to said people’s actions and/or feelings

Taichi and Koushirou are both granted mysterious devices, which we soon learn can be used for communication purposes as well as evolution, the devices coming from seemingly the same mysterious light/force as the symbols

Digimon causing issues within the Network have an immidiate effect in the electronics of the Human World, and the Digimon rampaging in the Network are willing to hurt and kill other Digimon too (not that many seem to be present there); they are an active threat to everyone but themselves and need to be dealt with

We see glimpses of other children who seem to have a 6th sense, reacting to Taichi’s actions (establishing the connection between the kids); foreshadowing

Taichi and Koushirou aren’t the only ones who have been sucked into this mess with Digimon, there’s another child within the Network as well, with his own Digimon along side hime

Episode 2: War Game

The villian of this Opening Arc, the Algomon, seems to act like a hivemind

Yamato is established as being distant and somewhat cold, seemingly uninterested in others as he’s more focused on other (more imporant?) things. He also seems to be more experienced in dealing with the Digital World/Digimon (in Taichi’s mind who wonders how experienced Yamato really is with Digimon). Despite how cold he seems from the outsite however, Yamato will quietly make plans and put them into motion, expecting others to catch on and follow up. His general unwillingless to intentionally and clearly team up is a character flaw for him though, it causes issues during battle and it’s something he struggles with. But he also worries about causing harm to Garurumon (and Greymon), so he does care for the well-being of others; all of this could suggest that Yamato is a tsundere

Greymon and Garurumon are established as knowing each other, implying they have a history

Greymon and Garurumon both tell the kids they can handle the rough plan; they’re comforting

The episode fleshes out the severity of the danger Digimon rampaging within the Network can cause; it can reach nuclear disaster leveks

We learn that Digimon can fuse

Feathers appear to Hikari and Takeru; foreshadowing for later. When the feathers touch their hands, mysterious symbols appear once more, implying a connection between them coming in contact with the feathers (and what they symbolize) and the fusion of Digimon

Episode 3: And to the Digital World

Taichi clearly loves his sister and takes good care of her

Hikari seems to know more than she lets on

A connection between Yamato and Takeru is established, as well as the fact that Yamato isn’t in Tokyo (at the moment at least)

Sora is established, us learning that she is a character much respected and liked by her classmate and that she and Taichi know each other really well (also we see an unnamed character fumbling comedically; foreshadowing for later)

When the danger was cleared, Taichi and Yamato were returned were they came from; whatever summoned them will also return them when their duty has been completed

A new mysterious threat is introduced to have been born, its birth causing massive power outtages and electrical issues

We see three lights fly through the gates of the Network, followed by three other lights;we learn that six children have been spirited away

We see the Digital World for the first time. Unlike the Network’s surreal, Tron-like landscapes with no sentient life in sight, nor water, clouds, plants or anything, the Digital World is alive and beautiful, though clearly fantastical based on the strange, arching mountains in the distance, and it’s fantastic, digital inhabitants

The fused Digimon is super duper strong and has some special powers that Greymon and Garurumon didn’t have; there’s a distinct difference in the level of power

Episode 4: Birdramon Soars

We get to know Sora a lot better in this episode, she could be described as being Just Really Cool; she seems to be super chill (not like “laid back”, more “cool”), taking in being thrown into a different world really well and calmly, not even surprised by the existence of Digimon aside from them being able to talk. Sora was also in the middle of buying supplies to get through the power outtages before getting summoned to the DW, so she’s come in well-prepared. Whether she went out to buy the supplies because she was requested to, or she did out of her own inniative, it does indicate she’s very responsible and trusthworthy. Much like Taichi too, Sora isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, being more than willing to come rescue Piyomon from the mouth of a giant mantis monster

Piyomon, scared out of her mind, doesn’t really do or say much for a long time, only clinging onto Sora for her dear life, until a calm washes over her as she seems to remember or recognise something; when Piyomon wakes up, she knows Sora’s name without ever being told it, much like how Agumon knew Taichi’s name, and Piyomon tells Sora she’s been waiting for her. Sora being present also brought confidence to Piyomon, inspiring her to be active instead of fleeing from danger, as she now has someone to protect.

We’re introduced to the kind Tentomon and his odd Osaka-accent; Tentomon, being more familiar with his home world, explained all sorts of things to Koushirou. Tentomon, much like a parent would, thanked Taichi “for looking after Koushirou”, indicating that while the two have only known each other for a short time, Tentomon is very fond of Koushirou, much like Agumon is of Taichi

We are introduced to an ominous silhouette, most likely a future villian

The DW lies within the deepest part of the Network, so the DW isn’t a separate world from the Network, just a specific section of it. Also, athough we had previously not seen Digimon the Net beyond the relevant characters Whamon being there do imply that some Digimon do indeed just like to hang out within the Network

Within the Digital World there are tablets and stone ruins of an ancient civilization, with text written on them; the Digivice react to the ancient texts, guiding the children to them and using the children as vessels, translate the message to them. The texts are instructions to guide the children, meaning whoever wrote them centuries ago, for-saw the coming of the children. At the mountain we see more ruins mysterious writings and ancient statues of winged figures. If it is a temple as Sora thinks, then that implies the existence of a religion that is or was worshipped in this world

Moving away from the lake, what we next see of the DW looks like a tropical paradise, with lots of lush jungles and forests with plants both familiar and strange. But through out the world there are these tiny visual “glitches” all around, small colorful lines and dots scattered through out, which give the world a subtle, artificial feel. There’s also a glittery rainbow mountain in the distance, further driving in the point that we aren’t in Japan anymore

We do learn that despite the world looking like a paradise, the Digimon do seem to hunt and eat each other for food; the aren’t many food sources then (like Meat Trees), or if there are, some Digimon ignore those for the Fresh Meat instead

The episode starts out kind of suggesting that maybe Sora ended up in the Digital World by accident, but as the episode progresses it gives out suggestions and hints that maybe Sora didn’t come by accident after all until she finally gets her Digivice. This is foreshadowing for the idea that none of the Children came by accident, they were brought there on purpose and for a reason.

We learn that while the kids can make the Digimon evolve, the Digimon will revert back once a danger is cleared

Episode 5: The Holy Digimon

Koushirou can remain calm even when swallowed by a Digimon, as long as he has his comfort item (tablet); foreshadowing for later

Koushirou can be a little bit shy, embarassed to repeat himself saying that maybe they were meant to meet

Tentomon really loves Koushirou

We learn that Orgemon (whose name we learn in this episode) can’t speak very clearly, which probably implies he’s not very smart; not all Digimon have the capacity to full-speech it seems

We see the super ominous silhouette of a yet unnamed villian sending orders to Orgemon; we have a hierachy, and this guy is at the top of it

We learn for sure that the kids are being specifically targetted and being tracked by the dark Digimon, the troops being lead by Orgemon and some small surveilance Digimon (SoundBirdmon) that can control other Digimon with the power of sound, as well as send messages between Digimon

The Holy Digimon tells us that the warriors that fought in the war long ago were reborn, Agumon, Piyomon and Tentomon being the reincarnations; the three take notice of specific Digimon in the Holy Digimon’s vision (themselves no doubt) and the sight brings them to tears; although they can’t remember anything, their souls/hearts can, and what they experienced must’ve been sad

Agumon doesn’t remember evolving into Omegamon, despite remembering meeting Taichi; this must imply that evolving to Omegamon was a blur even for him

There once was a large city in the location of the temple, with beautiful, artistic architecture; the former civilization here was truly prosperous

The rainbow glitter wasn’t as much of a mountain as it was a desert (or a mountain range, hard to tell which)

We learn that this land mass of unknown size (is it an island or is it a continent? Never stated) isn’t the only ones, there’s oceans at least one continent beyond it, its name being Cloud Continent

We see a small village in the middle of the forest, the houses looking sort of like hollowed out pumpkins with palm leaves coming from the top; while major civilization has crumbled in this post-apocalyptic Digital World, with most Digimon seeming to live on their own like, minding their own business, some Digimon do form communities

We learn the name of the Digivice

We learn that the statues at the temple are depictions of certain Holy Digimon, and that with the last of their powers they had left a message for the children from beyond the grave as they’ve passed a long time ago

The Holy Digimon had had a premonition that human children equipped with Digivices, also known as the Chosen Children, were “a power” that could surprass the natural law of evolution

It’s not quite explicit, but we are vaguely introduced to the evolution stages and their names (the natural law of evolution)

We gain confirmation that the feathers we have seen through out the series so far are indeed connected to the Holy Digimon

We learn that the Holy Digimon were ones that “governed the good of the Digital World”, most of them and the city that once stood in the place of the temple perishing in a great war between light and dark when dark Digimon disturbed the balance between the two.

The major parties on the side of light in that war were a great army of holy Digimon, eight special holy Digimon, six warriors and even Omegamon, who managed to vanquish the darkness at the cost of their own lives

We do learn that the six warriors turned into eggs, and are told that the Chosen Children would appear to guide the ressurected souls once the enemy would make a move once more

We learn that Taichi and co must go find the Holy Digimon of Light and Hope at the Cloud Continent as they will fight along side them against the dark Digimon

Although the Network is tightly connected to the Human World, the Digital World isn’t; disaster taking place there won’t affect the Human World. We also learn that monitoring the spread of dark in the Network is impossible to do from the Digital World

Episode 6: The Targeted Kingdom

We’re introduced to Mimi, the queen of Mimi Kingdom, the village we saw in the previous episode that she took over between being spirited away and Taichi’s group arriving.

Mimi, much like Sora is pretty cool with the situation she’s in. Ehile we do learn she was lonely after being stranded in the DW alone, after Palmon joined her side she’s been seemingly a-okay, not afraid at all of being (as far as she knows) the only human in a different world. In fact she is super into ensuring her kingdom remains peaceful and her underlings well-fed, as she has put great efforts into making sure Tuskmon don’t come and steal all the fruit the Tanemon live on. Mimi has a kind heart, and that she hates seeing others suffer.

We also learn the Tachikawa Industries we had heard about was her family’s, her grandpa being the chairman. Mimi’s grandpa must be important to her as hearing his words on video touched her, reminding Mimi she has to do what she can, which to her translated to taking care of her adorable underlings. Those same words later inspire her to leave her beloved kingdom behind to help the other kids

Palmon adores Mimi a lot, acting in a kind of enabling way, playing into and encouraging the whole Queen-thing just to make sure Mimi’s confortable and happy, feeling loved.

The Tanemon have a signaling system to pass messages on; whether this system was set up and taught to the Tanemon by Mimi or if they have invented it before Mimi took the kingdom over is unclear

Although Orgemon seems to lack intelligence based on his very basic speech, we do learn that he is a Digimon of honor, and losing his horn has gravely hurt his honor

This landmass does seem to be mostly forest as far as the eye can see (aside from the rainbow mountain range/dunes and the lake-area)

We learn time passes at a different rate between the Human World and Digital World, the DW being much faster, the time becoming more distorted the deeper into the Network you go (the Digivices somehow bypass the distortion to ensure communication happens at the same rate)

We see what a near-death Digimon looks like; colors washed out, glitching in and out a little, but evolution will instantly heal the Digimon from that near-death state back to full health  

Episode 7: That Boy is Kido Jyou

We learn Mimi likes tea and has been teaching Palmon how to make tea; she also seems to enjoy things that make her come off like she’s a KIND, LOVING pampered rich kid, as indicated by her cup and chair etc

We learn that Palmon was familiar with the area and was able to guide the kids to the ocean (something Agumon and Piyomon couldn’t do)

Jyou is so serious about passing his exams it’s kind of becoming an unhealthy obsession for him, to the point he might somewhat lash out and take his anger out by beating up trees and even self-harming. This kid, is super stressed out, the weight of his family’s achievements (everyone being doctors) really pushing him down. Due to this, he is super unwilling to go save the world, all that matters to him is making sure he can study and pass his exams so he can have a prosperous future. Jyou also doesn’t seem to like himself much, as he asks if Gomamon was disappointed by what his partner human was like

Jyou is studying for his exams, as he has priorities set straight and nothing will stop him from passing his tests, not even being spirited away into a different world all alone. While seeing other kids did make him somewhat glad, it was only because he assumed it meant there was a way out of this world so he could get back to his life.

Although Jyou said he wouldn’t participate in the world saving business, he did keep an eye Gomamon, and seeing him get hurt did send Jyou running; while Jyou tried to seem like he didn’t care, he did, a lot

Unlike Jyou, Gomamon is super willing to go save the world; if Jyou’s duty is to study, Gomamon’s duty is to save the world, and Gomamon would like it if Jyou realized they share their duties. Even without Jyou, Gomamon is willing to help as much as he can, even if he’s alone

Gomamon is super observant, seeing how and why Jyou is struggling, and he just wants to help Jyou too, Gomamon even “nursed Jyou” back to health after finding him passed out in the DW

We learn that Taichi, Sora and Jyou (as well as Koushirou) do go to the same school, its name being Musako Elementary

The hut we’ve seen was either built by Gomamon (which implies that Gomamon is super crafty), an unknown party or was always there; Jyou didn’t build it as he woke up inside it after Gomamon brought him there

In the Human World we see it is now evening, the kids having been spirited away sometime around noon-afternoon.

We do see that Jyou has spent at least one night in the DW, which could mean the other kids have as well, if not even more

Episode 8: The Children’s Attack

Ikkakumon is strong enough to swim across the ocean while carrying 4 kids and 3 Child Digimon

We learn Jyou gets motion sickness and that he can’t swim

Jyou is somewhat irritated and/or imidated by a kid 3 years younger than him having so much info and being more aware of the current situation, which ties into his need of trying to be in-control of the situation and lead the group; this leads to Jyou trying to be responsible and ensure everyone survives unharmed by surrendering to the enemy (his heart is in the right place)

We learn that Yamato has been on his own this whole time; considdering the other kids were brought to this world, scattered around a little, it is possible Yamato was brought directly onto the Cloud Continent

Yamato is charmed and touched by the other kids and the Digimon cheering him on and believing in him, despite him being so cold to them; he is super tsundere

The first thing we see of the Cloud Continent is a beach with high cliffs and a lone fortress guarding it. On the outside the enemy fortress looks like old and realistic (in the sense that you could probably find a fortress like this in our very real world), but is straight from a sci-fi movie; the enemies have access to some advanced technology

With this episode taking place over night, we are moving onto at least Day 3 (if not further)

We see the Black Miasma for the first time

[simptasia]

Hello! Im so sorry to bother but i just got back into Lost again and charlie has given me brainrot especially Trans Charlie and i was wondering if you had any specific hc or things like that? I really love Hurleys and Charlies friendship and i always feel when he finds out he's not only super supportive but also super chill

oh gosh! you're not a bother at all!

i do have specific trans charlie HCs and i never get to talk about this so thank you!

tw: references to trans/homo/biphobia both external and internal. and trans subject matters like transition, dysphoria, surgeries etc

there are many many words under here. so many :)

charlie realised he's trans when he was 5, that is to say, he realised he's a boy pretty much as soon as the concept of Boy could take root in his mind. picture 5 year old charlie walking into the kitchen and loudly announcing "i'm NOT a girl, i'm a BOY" to his parents and liam

the reaction is mostly amusement. liam laughs because he's 7. but yeah i do think his family assumed this was like, a tomboy phase that charlie would grow out of with time. but were still very cool with it. simon notes "i have two boys now ^_^", and megan offers to cut charlie's hair, which he happily accepts, he hated looking like a girl

over time it's clearly not a phase but the notion of charlie = boy, son, brother becomes second nature to the pace family. liam gets in the habit of calling charlie "baby brother" so he doesn't accidently call him his sister and that nickname sticks forever

so basically charlie's family is not transphobic. like i imagine the worse you'd get from these three is ignorant/well meaning comments. (and yes, simon was more bothered by charlie being a musician than him being trans. bless your strange heart, papa pace)

any bigotry charlie suffered in life, both from being trans and bi, was mainly from school and people he met outside of home (like, nasty groupies for example). i imagine he received slurs that typically apply to sapphic people. because his schoolmates assumed he was a butch lesbian. i can see charlie wishing they'd call him the right nasty words

charlie has a vicious combination of confidence and insecurity so theres bursts of "yeah i'm a bloke, i'm bi, what of it" and other times deep internal shame. and he's catholic too so that adds to the uh oh soup. i mention him being bi because i feel that adds to his guilt, like this notion of "even if i'd stayed a girl, i'd still be doing something wrong. i'd still be wrong"

and i think this shame and insecurity ties into his promiscuity, because he has this desperate need to be desired and validated. people wanting him, taking pleasure from him, gives charlie a sense of self worth. same with his need to be useful and have attention, etc, basically all that fucked up charlie jazz (...or punk rock, as it were)

ahem, heh, didn't mean to go down that road but writing meta about charlie is such an easy well for me to fall into. it's a rich tapestry

in regards to hurley. 2004 was a different time (gosh that feels weird to say) but i don't think its out of character to imagine hurley is cool with it. he doesn't fully, like, get it but he's like "that's great, dude" and that reaction is always a relief to get. hurley is the cis straight friend we all deserve. i think there are lost characters who would be weirded out by this or needed it explained to them but hurley is [thumbs up]

okay now an assortment of trans charlie headcanons/notes

teenaged charlie had the whole slouching in baggy shirts thing going on (making him look rather grunge). as soon as it was legal for him to get top surgery, he had it, he hated those things. so he had it done at 18, so by the time of LOST, twas 10 years ago and thus i imagine his scars are almost totally faded. you'd have to get real close and if you did you'd notice they're a tad janky because like, charlie was a poor street busker from manchester, he had to go for a really cheap option but hey it got the job done

he did try wearing a binder (i say binder, it was bandages) but he stopped because it was fucking up his ability to sing. it suits charlie that he'd put his musical ability over his physical well being. so most of the time that he had tits he made do with sports bras

side note: age 12 to 16 charlie was in The Worst Mood Ever. teen charlie makes adult charlie seem composed and rational. just a hormonal mess of anger, rebellion, poor posture, dysphoria, sexual discovery, messy greasy red streaked hair, FUCK THE SYSTEM THE WORLD ISN'T FAIR I HATE EVERYONE. with periods as a cherry on top. i just wanted to put the image of teen charlie in your head. i'm just being condescending for funsies, cuz pouty grumpy charlie is cute, but he really did have a lot to be upset about. teen years were rough for charlie, is what i'm saying, his main sources of joy being music, [redacted] and the few friends he had (liam and the other two members of driveshaft). oh and sweet food

but i digress

he has not had bottom surgery. if you asked him why he'd joke "what and give up multiple orgasms?" but the real reason is that charlie has very powerful drive to become a father one day and part of that desire includes with his own. body. so he's kept all the parts needed for that Just In Case. and yes, doing that would majorly trigger his dysphoria but people aren't always rational, charlie least of all. he's a barrel of conflicting emotions. he has good days and bad days in regards to his lower anatomy

charlie takes T patches. i chose these for practical reasons because he's on an island for 3 months. he wears them under his arm and claire assumes they're nicotine patches until she knows charlie is trans. he's wearing each patch for 3 days or more days instead of 1 day like he's supposed to, in order to make 'em last. charlie is clearly an already moody person, but man the concept that charlie is having hormonal issues too really adds to it

and thats something that i really love about my trans charlie headcanon is that i can think of so many canon things that make it make sense. like, the baby brother thing but also

physically: charlie is short, looks rather different to his brother (rounder face) and is hippier than the average cis man. and also charlie has a tendency to puff out his chest (going the opposite of his terrible slouch days cuz now he's titless babey). these are just aspects of dom that happen to work out well for this

story wise: in the show we only see charlie as a child and a grown adult, as such making it easy to fill in first puberty pre transition teenaged charlie off screen. he's possibly 18 in that desmond flashback so cutting it a tad close but i imagine he's had hormonal arrangements for himself since he was 16. and hormones really are fucking magic. also artistic licence, because at the end of the day i am still talking about somebody played a (presumably) cis guy actor

personality: well, besides the aforementioned hormonal mood swings. okay, the stuff i'm gonna say about charlie is not how i see all trans men. i just think being trans ties into certain aspects of charlie's manner. i mentioned before his desperate need for validation, to be useful, to be loved. charlie is really overcompensate-y, he's trying too hard All The Time, one could see that as him like overperforming masculinity. look, charlie has issues, and its clear as day he really really wants to slot himself into the role of husband, father, provider, protector. not inherently a bad thing and certainly not inherently a trans man thing buuut i think it fits. ties into the idea that most of his life charlie has felt the need to constantly prove himself, and that includes things like: a good musician, a good catholic, somebody who can take care of people he loves, being even worthy of love and. being a Real Man. all wrapped up in one confusing mess of a psyche

nah, i got more, still going. furthermore, i don't think charlie being trans is the only reason he's insecure (a rich tapestry) but what if one of many reasons charlie has his nasty jealousy issues with claire is that he thinks so little of himself that he's deeply afraid claire will leave him for a "Real Man". toxic masculinity hurts us all bro. and its not even like charlie is some kind of hypermasculine dudebro or anything like that (he wears nail polish and eyeliner for one thing. he's punk rock) but some odd harmful attitudes come out in subtler ways

to be clear i don't think charlie doubts he is a man but the human mind can be a total fucktruck and i'll say it again: charlie is insecure

anyways. charlie doesn't have a deadname, he was born charlie and he will die charlie. and another neat thing is that theres nothing in the show to suggest that charlie is a variation on charles. he is simply charlie. his middle name "hieronymus" was added by him though, obviously

he had a dildo/strap on packed with him but it was lost to sea during the crash. rip charlie's cock [plays off key flute version of my heart will go on]

he's not out to the wider public. basically in my version of ~canon~ the only people who know are his family, claire and uhh, well, the dozens upon dozens of people he's slept with (charlie's desire to keep this secret vs charlie's rampant desperate lust: the latter always wins). you would think rumours would spread and you're right! but charlie also spreads rumours, sneaky boy. yeah, i heard that the bass player of driveshaft has a big thick cock. a friend of a friend told me, trust me

basically trashy cringe inducing english tabloids have had some things to say about our dear charlie. which only serves to make the concept seem more unbelievable and silly to people. which, as backhanded as that sounds, works for charlie!

i realised i hadn't mentioned this yet: claire is very cool with this. charlie had never been so nervous to come out to somebody in all his life, because he loves claire so much, but once she understood what charlie was telling her (different time, claire didn't know that trans men existed), she rolled with situation. claire's a sweet girl, she's grown up uninformed about queer stuff (and she's bi but thought she was straight until kate) so i imagine her saying some not quite right things but she doesn't have a bigoted bone in her tiny body

and claire never betrays charlie's trust and keeps his secret forever (yeah at least 50 groupies know charlie's trans but thats not the point. it's the principle of the thing)

so yeah. there's defo more, if i like got into more specific scenarios, but thats the gist of what comes to mind and it was still quite a lot, so! thank you for your time

[fkinavocado]

Okay my darling. It took me forever to gather my thoughts so this is going to be all over the place. But just know that i woke up this mornimg to thebupdate and LOVED the chapter and i read it 3 times back to back.

First, he tried to feel her heart beat every which way. My poor little heart 💕. And the fact that he mourned her, and he was crying as much as her and he was angry and it kept coming out in bursts but he still loves her so much 🥺🥺

And the fact that he's so so good with her. He wanted to talk so badly but clearly thats not her way of communicating so he gives in to physical expression. But Dreea, you are a magician storyteller. Its so clear that he's become softer with her since he found out her past. Like even here, she asked to be hate fucked and punished, and he talked the talk, but still treated her kindly. And when he says he fucked other women and they liked it "but you don't deserve to." I can see why she must have thought he meant she didn't deserve to feel good or orgasm, but actually meant he was going tp show her love instead of anger anyway and that she couldn't run from it this time. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

And the smut!!! Excuse me, ma'm. I need to fan myself 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 he's so rough and then gentle and the switch had me salivating!!!! But he knoooooows herrrrrr. He knows that feeling like she's loved is something she will have to "endure" because she runs from it but he was going to make her face facts "nowhere to run". Like, yessss, condition my baby to feel good about being loved. She's not going to feel anger from him because thats a thing of her past. And i love that, for the moment, he can set his anger aside and tap into what he actually feels for her because she needs to see it.

And even his anger the next day is valid because he contained it. He communicated in that letter but he also showed her exactly what it felt like. Because our girl is not a verbal person but she is an empathetic one and I'm so glad that it ended on a hopeful note for them. Even though you're great at keeping things realistic because clearly 🧐🧐 they need to work on him trusting her again as he kept saying so sadly because its clear that from the beginning he's being underplaying how much he feels for her, from trying not to come off too strongly the first time they got together to now being so careful in giving her what she wants and expressing himself the way she needs so she's wouldn't run again but this trust aspect is something she needs to do for him just like she fought for him before.

But Dreea, i need to know what happened with Emily and the court case. I'm so sad this story is over 😭😭😭😭 And you stiffed me on the balcony sex 😠😠😠😠. But i forgive you because you're brilliant. 😘😘😘😘 and i have loved loved loved reading and responding to this story and i adore you so much for taking the trouble to reply

PS. I better be seeing my DI babies again and they better be doing great in the fluff and smut areas and building a proper life together, Dreea 👀👀🔪

PPS. Do we get Hard Candy next?? After you get some rest of course. 😘 it is appropriate for my emoji after all 🤪

-🍭

AS ALWAYS I WANNA PUT YOUR FEEDBACK SOMEWHERE UP IN A HALL OF FAME ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ everyone should read your thoughts on it because you got it all 100000% right as usual!!!! 💕💕💕 ugh i'm so emotional!!!! thank you so much for all your delicious feedback along the way i've been looking forward to it with every update 💋💋

and yes!!! hard candy is next along with another fic i've been dying to start writing on👀 so stay tuned!

ps: that's what extras/sequels are for- balcony sex. i don't make the rules 🤷‍♀️

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

[1/?] Sorry for venting. I just saw some bad takes that gave me a lot of feelings. Personally, JC stresses me out every time he comes on screen, but I don't mind it when JC fans say fan-typical things like how they like JC because he wears purple, or is grumpy, or they think he's hot, or that they ship x*ch*ng because the cql actors have nice jawlines. They're harmless, fun takes, and while I don't agree with some of them, I see where they're coming from

Hello there anon, vent away as that is what my blog is open for as I love/hate on Jiang Cheng as he is in the plot, as well as all of my beef with what has been done to him for the EN side of the fanbase! I am more than fine listening and engaging with the unsavory "unpopular" discussions of his canon behavior and this goes for anyone of course that needs an open play area. I'll try to engage with what you have sent point by point as succinctly as I can.

[2/?] (some of these are obviously crack, and I am a fan of a few problematic faves). But then there are stans that just have to put other characters down to make JC look good. Like, I think some fans take their freedom of interpretation for granted because most of these takes aren't even labeled 'headcanon,' 'ooc,' or 'crack' anymore. Stans feel that their interpretations are valid, and while they are, valid =/= canon, and they're treating these takes as canon, which becomes popular fanon.

I enjoy Jiang Cheng for what he is, however as I had said it took me another reread to get to my stance of him being the negative mirror to Lan Wangji's positive and my comfort with that for the story once I realized what purpose he served. He is only insofar tragic in regards to his circumstances, but it does not absolve him for what he is at his core (no pun, but I can make a very nice metaphor that even with a piece of Wei Wuxian in him he is still forever unable and unwilling to stand by him equally all while stagnating where as Lan Wangji is able to flourish, grow and mature with nothing of import left from Wei Wuxian in a technical sense). As for ships, I am a little dirty Xicheng whore for fun and can say there is a sense of entertainment for me making it work with two people where one is wildly ignorant and the other wildly rabid. But that is outside of what is established as canon in the work and I always try to keep the two strictly separate due to the skew fanon perpetuates.

3/?] And now, it's not clear what part of the fanon references canon JC or the canon events of mdzs. JC is an asshole; I don't like him as a person, but I do think that he's a complex character motivated by many issues (sup, YeeZY), which makes him fascinating to explore. Unfortunately, erasing his culpability also removes his agency. JC should be allowed to be an asshole character who makes his own decisions even if they're the wrong ones. He has made his own tragedy by constantly casting Wei Wuxian as the villain of his life.

Now thanks to you I will be using YeeZY to forever and now to acknowledge Madam Yu (this is your fault for the new tag). From a standing from storytelling I agree that he is complex in the Jianghu for MDZS. Where in the usual political intrigue of Wuxia, he would be the mustache twirling villain that is outright unforgivable in narration, it is by favor of Wei Wuxian's narration that has an early steeping of empathy for him. And he is not meant to be seen as ultimately sympathetic, the work builds up his hate against Wei Wuxian who tries to rationalize it all several times until he is finally unable to. Jiang Cheng is the antithesis to Lan Wangji and the false bait to get attached to in Wei Wuxian's first life. I will make the note their meeting in Yiling is lukewarm between both as they exchange nothing really in terms of conversation and all pleasantries are left in terms of Jiang Yanli for Wei Wuxian. By this point Wei Wuxian has already switched his yearnings of platonically wanting a part of Jiang Cheng's life, to subconscious romantic inclinations about Lan Wangji and the perceived loss of being in the other's life.

The very point of Jiang Cheng as the deconstruction, is that he has no passion in life despite his apparent exploits because he put a shadow to hang over himself as an excuse to say others think he is not good enough. He has no deeper motivations than pure selfishness by the end of the work and is pure frivolity that he has built up losing the meaning of his sect as a tradition. He had his agency (more than anyone I might add in the work due to his social position) that he used to build his reputation as a passive rich sect leader that has little to do with civilian problems.

4/?] And I think a JC, somehow, that realizes that he did something wrong and is working hard to change for the better and gain self-actualization to become that UWU best jiujiu the stans want him to be, who is ready to talk (not yell at) with WWX, apologize to him, and create a better, healthier relationship with him is a much more powerful reconciliation and happy ending than 'everyone is wrong and mean and they all apologize to JC, which magically gets rid of all his issues'.

He is forced out of culpability in reconciliation because simply put, his audience do not like the reality that relationships fray and dissolve with no further resolution other than we as adults both need to move on for safety and good health. It is not acceptable in real life and fiction is allowed to place that also in it's thematic relationships. He has a small, small spark of recognition at the end of the main story, however he himself seems to choose to ignore it, as change is hard and he has never taken to that well as was foreshadowed with his dogs and the idea of sharing a space with Wei Wuxian. To write this is an awful lot of work into his psyche which is not a nice place, he is a terrible being and downplaying that to make a sugar sweet person does not work instantaneously. He is the one responsible for the entire fallout with Wei Wuxian and he hysterically realizes that even as he tries to continue to blame Wei Wuxian.

The issue that I have with his current stan culture, is that they already view him as something he is not. They play at bicycle with all of the other protagonists that have positive traits that they strip as they see fit; Good affirming loving to children adult Lan Wangji, Self-sacrificing ultimately did it all for love and care Wei Wuxian, Hard exterior but softened to who they consider an annoyance Wen Qing, Loyal as partners in their exploits on the field and always have each others back Wen Ning. They even take Jin Guangyao's persona of playing damsel and using that as a positive to soften up Jiang Cheng into something he has never been for anyone for ships.

[5/5] Also, making WWX/WN/LWJ apologize just makes them look better than JC. Like, stans supposedly love JC, so they ahouldn't be lazy and work hard to give him actual character development. Again, I'm sorry for spamming your ask. It just really baffles me about where they get these 'hot' takes (All I'm going to say is that JC was ungrateful, and WN had a reason verbally dismantle him).

They see this, but, they will spin it in any way to excuse Jiang Cheng due to the story itself showing that he was in the wrong to everyone he flung accusations at and his hate. No one but him is at fault for his spite as he had gotten his revenge on the ones that had ruined Lotus Pier and killed his parents. His own resentment pitted him against good and well meaning people that he refused to help as he mimicked his mother's words about raising their heads higher out of goodness instead of keeping low and staying self-centered. There is the underlying criticism of taking individual arrogance as self-care at the cost of others. Each point that Wen Ning makes is exactly what Jiang Cheng himself knows as he hated Wei Wuxian for being something he could not be or even wanted to be. Jiang Cheng wants kindness but does not understand that kindness to others needs to be selfless and accept the hurt that can come with that in life. He encompasses the fall from the path of buddhist lifestyle, "The Three Poisons" to Wangxian's "Without Envy" at the stories end.

[6/5] P.S. I'm not saying I want reconciliation fics, but I just feel that if stans want JC to have a happy ending, then I think that he should actively work for it. I think it would be interesting to see what force of nature would push him through a character development because throwing a therapist at him would result in a murder.

"I'm not saying I want reconciliation fics, but I just feel that if stans want JC to have a happy ending, then I think that he should actively work for it."

They do not think he has to work for it, they say his tragedy is enough, while heaping accusations against Wei Wuxian and saying his own are not enough to absolve him. Something Wei Wuxian has never denied and told all present they are allowed to forever hate him for what he had done in the past, but that they need to find a way to live in a life that is always moving on. He learned that grudges do nothing once they are absolved and it leaves you with hate with nothing else to do with it once that object is gone. In terms of reconciliation, I do not ever think that either want anything other than a distant peaceful out of each other's life set up. Jiang Cheng does not need Wei Wuxian in his life to be satisfied and never has since he used him as the handicap to hide behind to stay angry and miserable. Being without that fallback opens the world far more for him to change than him ever interacting like an old friend with Wei Wuxian ever again, if he ever had the guts to do that.

[gaphic]

quickly adding to the Good Tags highlight reel:

First of all: I genuinely can't believe I never thought of that before. The Ultimate Reward isn't just a door out of the game, it's a door OUT OF A HOUSE!

For Calliope, I think her class is a big indicator here: Muse. The personification of art, and the source of artistic inspiration. The Calliope of mythology is the muse of epic poetry, and considered the greatest of the muses. That makes Callie both the personification of Homestuck AND the divine source of inspiration that created it, as well as the literal patron goddess of the genre of art that Homestuck is. She is also, notably, the personification of fandom. The fandom IS Homestuck, and it is only through the fandom's efforts that the characters are able to have their happy ending.

And I think it's very sharp to say that Caliborn usurps the author and becomes the narrative. He doesn't become the author! Authorship requires creativity. I don't know enough about Arthurian legend to have any clever takes about the Excalibur link, but I think it's telling that he's named after a sword. Calliope (mythology) is often depicted with writing implements. The pen is mightier than the sword. The 'born of Cal' and Caliban connections are more immediately meaningful to me- the first referring to the ouroboros loop of Lord English's existence, the second referring to a character whose wikipedia page is a fucking goldmine of analysis. Just the quote 'he's always looking for someone to word him into being' is SO. AAAAAH. Calliope is creation! Caliborn is created!

Caliban is a slave who resents his master. Prospero treats him badly because Caliban tried to rape his daughter, which he shows NO remorse for, claiming if Prospero hadn't stopped him he would have 'peopled the island with Calibans.' There's that ouroboros thing again! The only thing Caliborn is capable of or interested in creating is more of himself! And when Caliban escapes Prospero he doesn't seek freedom, he seeks a new master. In the same way, 'escaping the narrative' never even crosses Caliborn's mind. He is a puppet and he likes it that way.

So if Callie is fandom, what is Caliborn? Not 'bad fandom' and not 'haters'- he does not like OR hate Homestuck. No, Caliborn is something much worse.

A killjoy.

The only reason he cares about Homestuck at all is because he knows Callie loves it. It's something he can take from her. Caliborn wants to break his sister's toys, and he is so incapable of wanting anything else that he gladly enslaves himself as Guy Whose Job It Is To Kill Callie's Favorite Characters AFTER SHE IS DEAD.

And in keeping with the trend of dichotomies, while Callie is dead, Caliborn is unkillable, forever creating himself- like a cancer.

Immortality, in Homestuck, seems to be a sort of badge of narrative compliance. People die... but legends don't. Going godtier incurs great power and conditional immortality, and it turns you into an archetype (note to self: post classpect/planet/moon hot takes). Being dead removes you from the narrative. It's supposed to remove you from existence, but Feferi happened, allowing (Vriska) to demonstrate the healing power of irrelevance.

Vriska is, in a way, Caliborn's tragic counterpart. Where he enslaved himself to the narrative as the Bad Guy, she enslaved herself as the Hero. I think that's why she's such a positive influence on the meteor- the Hero is, by definition, a saving grace, therefore the narrative will validate her decisions. Vriska is the only character who will never, ever choose to escape the narrative, which is exactly why she's the one who gets the alive/dead plotline; (Vriska) proves that freedom is healing whether you want it or not. That making bad choices means you won't grow, not that you can't grow

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: 99% of peoples criticisms of the end chunk of homestuck completely fall apart if you take a thematic reading. homestuck is aggressively thematically cohesive straight to the end and SO many people interpret that as insulting the audience or a copout

[my-bated-breath]

On an Immensely Popular Post

Disclaimer: What I’m writing here may not be completely accurate -- like most works of art, literature, and even STEM tend to be -- and as a new fan of ATLA, a few of the metas I publish may be obsolete or unintentionally insensitive. That being said, I like to believe that I can contribute something valuable to this fandom. In all my (real) metas, I wish to be as objective as possible and not rely on my biases, fanon, or common “knowledge” that may just be misconceptions. If anyone reading this finds something to be false or contrived, I am always welcome to constructive criticism. What I am not welcome to is senseless hate or bashing.

My first experiences with the ATLA fandom begun a long, long time ago, but the most recent and powerful revival of my love for ATLA started with me actually watching the show and soon after, with me falling into the endless abyss of ATLA metas on Tumblr. Sifting through the well-written analyses and the emotion-based rants had taught me a lot about critical thinking and the power of influence, so now I’d like to present a meta that critiques an extremely popular post with over 60,000 notes. And since it’s so popular, this is the part where I must make yet another disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I hold nothing against lesbians4sokka (whose name has now been changed to comradekatara). They have the right to share what they want, but since this particular post has become so influential that it’s still being reblogged regularly to this day, I believe it is within my right to criticize it - emphasis on “criticize,” which is different from “hate.”

Now that that’s out of the way, let us begin:

Lesbians4sokka/comradekatara covers 3 main subjects in their post, which I will quote/summarize below:

(1) Ma/iko: “...the entire foundation of mai and zuko’s relationship was built on how miserable they were together, and how they would just sit there and hate the world together— letting their misery fester as they enabled each other’s depression— and I think that’s really unfortunate because they would work so well as friends if they weren’t trying to make their dumpster fire of a relationship work.”

(2) Zutara: “similarly, what makes zuko and katara’s dynamic so compelling is that they share the same flaws, only as opposed to mai’s apathy and misery, it’s katara’s rage and guilt that zuko identifies with. they both share trauma over having lost their mothers, and both in a similar way (sacrificing themselves for them) and they both cope with their grief through rage, often misplaced… katara and zuko have a deep & profound friendship, but if they were to be in a relationship, they would only bring out the absolute worst in each other thru enabling each other’s rage and emotion-driven decision making.”

(3) Z/uk/ka: this pairing makes for a healthy and wholesome relationship because throughout the boiling rock, we see that “sokka and zuko make an excellent team, as they balance each other perfectly. sokka thinks big picture, and plans ahead, but zuko will charge into situations.” They inspire each other, they trust each other unconditionally, they become more open and supportive of each other, they share a lot of common interests and narrative parallels, and in general, just make each other happy (which could work both platonically and romantically).

As for my response: I’m sure many of you are expecting me to start to save the “best for last.” That assumption would be incorrect because I actually have the least to say about point 3.

I agree that Z/uk/ka can be a good relationship. Their dynamic is funny, playful, supportive, etc. etc. (there are so many positive adjectives I could use to describe their dynamic, the list could go on forever). And they could make a great couple.

…

What, did you expect more from me? That’s it, I’m done.

I’m not here to attack Z/uk/ka as a ship, because while I can never actively ship it (I’m a sad, narrow-minded exclusive shipper, always had been and always will be) I can objectively appreciate them as one. It’s points 1 and 2 I’m more concerned about.

Now, since we’ve already begun working backward, I’ll begin my critiques on point 2: I could write extensively about the parallels between Zuko and Katara, including but not limited to shared pain and a few shared flaws - and just a few, because their weaknesses diverge in many important places. However, since I’m trying to write as objectively as possible and since Zuko-Katara parallels have already been discussed to death, my analysis will focus elsewhere.

However, something from comradekatara’s post that I would first like to address is this-

[Zuko and Katara] both cope with their grief through rage, often misplaced. in the southern raiders, they both act deeply insensitively towards sokka by acting as if his grief over his mother’s death is somehow less valid simply because he is a lot quieter in his coping mechanisms and doesn’t project his rage & guilt onto everyone else.

- or rather, the idea that Zuko and Katara’s shared pain causes them to act insensitively towards Sokka (and though the post does not mention it, Aang as well).

(Note: these points have already been covered by countless metas before mine, so you can skip/skim this section to read a newer argument in the next section.)

Even ignoring the fact that the Southern Raiders had many out of character moments, Katara’s insensitivity towards Sokka is first and foremost a reaction against his insensitivity towards her.

_____

Dialogue from Season 3, Episode 16 “The Southern Raiders”:

Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

Katara: [Shakes her head in dismay.] Ugh, I knew you wouldn't understand. [Begins to walk away.]

Aang: Wait! Stop! I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?

Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice.

Aang: I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge.

Katara: [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe that's what I need! Maybe that's what he deserves!

Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

Katara: It's not the same! Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he's a monster.

Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right.

Katara: Then you didn't love her the way I did!

Sokka: [Hurt] Katara!

_____

While I believe that Aang’s principles of forgiveness are morally sound, the way he pushes his beliefs onto Katara undermines much of her grief. At first, Aang tries to relate to Katara’s experiences by comparing them to his own, but there is a forceful connotation to his dialogue that suggests that Aang considers himself to be the moral authority compared to Katara. Hence, Aang judges Katara (“I think it’s about getting revenge”) without trying to reach out and understand her, forgoing the empathetic common ground in favor of taking on the moral high ground.

Thus, when Sokka tells Katara, “she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right,” Sokka is not only saying that Katara should choose forgiveness, he is implying that Aang is the ultimate moral authority on this matter and that Katara should accept that. Moreover, similarly to Aang, Sokka’s opening line, “she was my mother, too,” had the potential to establish common ground between himself and Katara, but the added “but…” places Sokka on the moral high ground against her instead. Of course, when we remember that just two lines ago Aang equates Katara to Jet, Sokka agreeing with Aang seems even more thoughtless and unsympathetic.

So when Katara lashes out against Sokka, ostensibly “acting as if his grief over his mother’s death is somehow less valid simply because he is a lot quieter in his coping mechanisms and doesn’t project his rage & guilt onto everyone else,” it is important to note that Sokka undermines Katara’s louder, more visible way of grieving as well (though that discounts that for most of the show, Katara only uses her grief over her mother’s death to sympathize with others).

Moreover, Katara’s line, “then you didn't love her the way I did!” is hurtful, yes, but it is not necessarily equivalent to “you didn’t love her as much as I did.” Katara’s love for her mother is different from Sokka’s because her pain over her death is different -- after Kya’s passing, Katara had to carry the emotional burden of becoming a pseudo-mother to Sokka (see Sokka and Toph’s conversation in “The Runaway”), a burden that did not cease after she joined the GAang (see the entirety of “The Desert”). To Katara, Kya was not only her mother, but the representation of the childhood she lost and the sacrifice made to protect her life. Sokka simply does not have that same relationship with Kya.

I do not mean to say that Sokka and Aang unfairly taking on the moral authority in this situation means that this authority instead belongs to Katara (and Zuko) - “The Southern Raiders” is filled with questionable moments from all parties involved. However, TSR is an episode that delves into Katara (and Zuko)’s relationship with a mother’s sacrifice, so how Zuko and Katara respond to this specific trauma from their past does not dictate how they respond to painful circumstances in the present/future. Let’s see how this is true.

Sozin’s Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King

No doubt Zuko and Katara felt some form of frustration upon Aang’s disappearance, so let’s see how they “[enabled] each other’s rage and emotion-driven decision making”:

Here, Katara and Zuko make a decision together that turns out to be calm, rational, and not at all emotionally-driven despite their mutual frustration and worry towards Aang.

Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters

Zuko holds immense pain and self-loathing over betraying Iroh, yet Zuko and Katara’s conversation does not enable/exacerbate negativity from any party involved (since Zuko often translates his grief into anger, and Katara was evidently angry at Zuko’s betrayal). Instead, their conversation is open, encouraging, and constructive.

(Note: this is where the review of points made by previous metas ends.)

Hence, to say that “[Zuko and Katara] would only bring out the absolute worst in each other [through] enabling each other’s rage and emotion-driven decision making” -  when we are given in-canon examples of the opposite being true - would be a sweeping and inaccurate generalization.

But for the sake of argument let’s say that, hypothetically, Zuko and Katara’s relationship would fail because they only bring out the worst in each other. And here’s where the argument falls apart for me - Is the argument here that Zuko and Katara have an incredibly meaningful friendship yet somehow this “friendship” causes them to enable each other, thus encouraging each other’s worst flaws and regressing each other’s growth? Is a healthy friendship - much less a “deep and profound” one - not one where two individuals can learn from each other in positive ways and balance each other’s shortcomings?

Or is it something different we’re saying here? Are we saying that two individuals can have a “deep and profound” friendship and yet the moment their relationship shifts from platonic to romantic, they are terrible for each other?

While many significant platonic bonds are stunted when they become romantic, I still believe it to be common sense that some of the best romantic relationships stem from a platonic foundation. But since much of “common sense” on the internet sees that “sense” is nonsensical and “common” is a nicer way to refer to mob mentality, I have done my research to show how Zuko and Katara could have been an excellent case of a friends-to-lovers relationship.

An excerpt from my meta, “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic.” (give it a read if you want to see references to relationship-research and an overanalysis on diction/tone)

The reason why Zutara is framed as a “toxic and unhealthy” relationship is that their romance would be a classic example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a trope which modern media has not been particularly kind to. However, when executed correctly, enemies-to-lovers can produce a healthy and loving relationship, frequently relying on friendship as an intermediate between the “enemy” and “lover” stages in the most well-executed versions of this trope. Meanwhile, the trope of friends-to-lovers is just as popular as enemies-to-lovers, though the specific dynamic required between two individuals to achieve this transition is not well-known. Recognizing this, Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau, both of whom are involved in relationship-related research as professors at Arizona State University, wrote a research paper on how friendships may transition into romantic relationships…

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect platonic/romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

In the rest of my research-based meta I demonstrate how Zuko and Katara’s platonic interactions in the show fit into the stages of communicative intimacy (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) that Guerrero and Mongeau describe as being mutual between friendships and romances. As such, crossing the line between friends and more-than-friends most likely would not cause a dramatic shift in the Zutara dynamic since much of Zuko and Katara’s platonic intimacy easily translates into romantic intimacy. I’ll end off with another excerpt from my meta.

Excerpt from “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic.”

“...it would be remiss to simply dismiss the Zutara dynamic as one that would instantly become toxic should they pursue a romantic relationship.”

With that little thought in mind, let’s move onto point 3: an exploration of friendship, romance, and why toxicity is not exclusive to the latter.

Let’s start with what I agree with:

“The entire foundation of mai and zuko’s relationship was built on how miserable they were together, and how they would just sit there and hate the world together— letting their misery fester as they enabled each other’s depression...”

I’m not sure how necessary it is for me to elaborate on this point given that it’s already been accepted by comradekatara and perhaps 60,000+ other users on Tumblr (a gross exaggeration but this remains unimportant), but in her essay, “Zuko, Mai, and the Nature of True Intimacy,” Araeph contributes more nuance to the concept of Ma/iko and mutual misery, stating that,

Unfortunately for [Zuko and Mai’s] relationship, Mai is and will always be a pessimist—a character trait, not a character flaw, in her. The key difference lies in how Mai and Zuko use their negative feelings. When Zuko sinks into negativity, he gives up on any actions that will materially change his world for the better; Mai, on the other hand, can remain negative even at the height of her character development, and it does not impede her ability to act.

So while Mai enables Zuko’s depression, Zuko does not necessarily do the same for Mai. Nonetheless, throughout their relationship for the first half of season 3, neither of them communicate constructively or push each other to grow as people.

This may be the third disclaimer I’m making, but I first want to say I have nothing against Mai. However, I do have something against the idea that “[Mai and Zuko] would work so well as friends if they weren’t trying to make their dumpster fire of a relationship work.”

Their relationship is a dumpster fire, yes, but will the flames cease simply if the amount of intimacy in the relationship changes?

comradekatara state themselves that their entire romantic relationship is quite depressing - they are only able to connect through empty physical intimacy and mutual hatred of the world. Without that, there is little left for them to bond over. Once Zuko overcomes his conflicting morality and inaction from the first half of season 3, he becomes someone who is strongly guided by his principles and beliefs. However, for the entirety of the series, Mai is characterized by her moral apathy. To cite from Araeph again,

It is moral intimacy that is the last and worst omission for Mai and Zuko… Zuko’s struggle to find and follow his principles is the most central aspect of his character, yet it is a struggle Mai neither understands nor respects…

Lack of moral intimacy (not sharing the same core beliefs) is something that applies to both platonic and romantic bonds. Thus, just as transitioning from a meaningful friendship to a romance does not inherently create toxicity in a relationship, switching from a romance that exacerbates one (or both, depending on how you interpret it) party’s misery does not necessarily erase the preexisting negativity in a relationship - perhaps some of it may subside, sure, but as long both parties continue to fail at communicating and understanding each other, even their friendship seems bleak at best. In this case, Mai and Zuko may work well as conditional friends, or in other words, friends who are only friends when they have something to mutually be miserable over. And this tiptoes the line of speculation, but they could be a formidable political team. But unless the Ma/iko dynamic shifts drastically in the lovers-to-friends transition, I’m not sure if there’s much potential in a friendship between them.

In conclusion, there is a lot I don’t agree with from comradekatara’s post, but if there’s one takeaway I want to impart onto everyone who’s read this far, it’s this: crossing and uncrossing the line between platonic and romantic bonds is not always a transformative experience for the relationship, and the nature of human relationships is a complex spectrum -- not a light switch that can only be set between healthy and unhealthy.

Thank you all for reading!

[aot-snk-4238]

My thoughts on AOT No Requiem (Fanmade Ending) Part 1:

With another chapter of this story coming out soon, I thought now would be a good time to share my thoughts on the first part. Before I do that, though, I have a few things that I would like to get off my chest.

A part of me hates that this project exists. Not because I find it disrespectful, but because it serves as a bitter reminder of what a complete mess this ending caused among many fans. I'm still in disbelief how things got so bad so quickly. First, you've got the people who hated it. People began turning on Isayama and calling him a terrible or incompetent writer, regretting ever getting into the series, insisting that it was worse than Game of Thrones, the list goes on and on. People who liked the ending are now endlessly referred to as "ending defenders" or more crude names like "Isayama cockriders," as though they're a bunch of incompetent fools who don't know the first thing about reading comprehension all because they just happened to like it. And then of course you've got the other extreme end of the spectrum where the ones who were disappointed are accused of not understanding the story or they're only upset because their favorite ship or fan theory didn't become canon. This, too, is very demeaning and invalidating for those who grew up with this series that they gave their heart to and cherished for so long, only to have it do what they felt was a complete 180 at the very last second that undid every part of the story they thought was special and unique. It's one of the hardest slaps to the face you can get as a reader and long-time fan, and while I can't fully relate to everyone's feelings, I can at least understand and acknowledge that it's there and it shouldn't be laughed at. Now with all of that out of the way, here are my thoughts and analysis of this fanmade ending and how it differs from Isayama's.

To start things off, I found that part 1 started off similar to how 137 did in the canon manga, with Armin and Zeke conversing in PATHS. The biggest difference would be kid Eren being transported there and seeing his older self. To be fair though, this chapter was only about half the length of what we're used to reading, so I'm sure we'll get a lot more in part 2 onwards.

While Zeke is enlightening Armin on the history of the earth and how the life form that attached itself to Ymir sought to avoid death forever, young Eren is in PATHS too with his older self, witnessing the moment Ymir found the tree and fell in it to become the first titan. At first, there is no dialogue exchanged between them. They just hold hands and watch. Meanwhile, Zeke is still talking to Armin about Ymir and how she continued to serve her oppressive master despite acquiring godlike powers that would allow her to obliterate him whenever she pleased. This is where the team working on this project attempt to provide their own alternate possibilities as to why this happened in a way that would make more sense than what we were given in the canon story in which she simply had a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome and couldn't let him go no matter how much he made her suffer.

So what are these new possibilities? They come in the form of a question, so their validity is not made absolutely certain, but they're presented as the most likely candidates nonetheless.

According to Zeke, she was unable to separate her own desires from King Fritz and was a lost girl who sought meaning. A place to belong. Tragically, King Fritz was the only connection she had in her life, so she clung to it with everything she had despite it being toxic and abusive. I could argue that these are the very reasons why she supposedly loved the king in the official manga, as explained by Eren in 139, but they weren't explained or touched on as plainly as they were here. I feel like they could have been if Isayama had just been given more time, but sadly the whole thing was rushed and underdeveloped.

Moving on, Zeke states that despite his efforts in trying to understand Ymir and her feelings, it was Eren who ultimately was able to get to her and offer her the choice of freedom. The next page transitions to young Eren standing in the clouds with his arms spread out and a smile on his face just like in the official 137, only this time 19yo Eren is next to him. Now I'm going to be honest here, this is where things started to get a little corny for me. Yeah. I know a lot of people hate that argument, but that's just how it felt to me. And before I say anything else, I want everybody to know that I am in no way about to mock anyone's fondness of this Eren over the one we saw in 139, even if it was a little over-the-top. It's perfectly fine to prefer one over the other, I'm just going to try to explain myself the best I can without coming across as harsh or unprofessional.

Eren is drawn in these panels to be a stone-faced, determined and unstoppable force who will "keep moving forward until his enemies are destroyed." This is the Eren that many people grew most familiar with throughout the series, despite his occasional breakdowns, but something about the way it was executed just felt a little too overdramatic and exaggerated. For me, the contrast between this Eren and the Eren we were presented with in 139 is too jarring. It came across to me as the fandom's idealized version of Eren, the "chad" Eren if you will, rather than Isayama's portrayal of Eren who is cold and determined, but has also been experiencing stunted mental growth ever since the day he saw his mother get eaten; side note: I know that Eren himself was responsible for his mother's death, but that's a discussion for a later time. Not only that, but the "keep moving forward" line starts to get overused at this point. We already heard Eren say this a number of times before 137 where this first fanmade chapter takes place, so I didn't find it necessary to include that at the end, but it seemed to be the writers' way of trying to reinforce Eren's ultimate goal.

Regarding the rest of the chapter, young Eren asks older Eren what Ymir is still waiting for after he showed her that she's not alone. 19yo Eren proceeds to explain that while he was able to make her feel something again, she still needs somebody to free her. He shows his younger self all of the visions from PATHS that he's seen so far, ranging from past events to alternate realities to things that couldn't be changed no matter what. Now there is only one path left that he strives toward. The one that he believes will grant him and his people freedom. This next line is the one that stood out to me the most throughout this fanmade chapter. Still talking to kid Eren, adult Eren says, "When you wake up, you will forget what you learned, but not what you felt here. This will all feel just like a long dream." Only when he kisses Historia's hand will it all come back to him. This line more clearly explains why Eren woke up crying in chapter 1, but couldn't remember why. Then he circles back to how he intends to carry out his own plan to end the cycle of hatred once and for all. Despite his efforts along the way, he couldn't change the flow of PATHS and save the friends he lost or prevent certain events from happening altogether, so he had to accept that sacrifices had to be made. In this case, he will have to literally sacrifice the world, much to Armin's horror.

To wrap this up, I'm going to finish comparing this to the canon 137, but since the first part of this project only covers the PATHS portion of it, that's where I'll stop as well. To save a little but of time, I'm just gonna be lazy and copy the first part of a quick overview of the chapter I found as part of the wiki:

So clearly, canon 137 starts off focusing a lot more on Armin and Zeke's differing philosophies and does not provide any further insight into Eren's ultimate motives like this one does, at least not yet. Armin and Eren are bound to face off soon in this fanmade version, but it looks to me like this time the writers are planning on flipping the outcome and having Eren come out victorious instead, especially when I remember the name of this project and what it's based on. I guess that means that in a way, I already know what's ultimately going to happen throughout the rest of this project. Whether it's going to be considered superior to the actual ending is going to depend on if its executed properly. I could very well be wrong about some of this, though. I want to give it a fair shot since these people have clearly put a lot of hard work and passion into this, so I will refrain from further judgement until we get the full picture. On a side note, I just want to say that the artwork is beautiful so far and I commend every artist responsible for their efforts. I also liked the song choice at the beginning and thought it set the mood pretty well.

Thank you to everyone who read the whole thing. This took me far longer to write than it should have because I'm not always good at expressing myself in a way that does not come across as confusing or contradictory. I will continue to share my thoughts as more content is released, which by the looks of it could be any day now.

[aaronstveit]

Hello! First I wanted to say I love all your creations! I’m always curious about people’s creative process but I rarely ask them about it, I hope you don’t mind me bothering you with this ??! Do you make a list of sets/ideas and follow them or? You make a lot of sets, and all of them are so good, I wish I had this level of excellence and dedication in me. Also, do you ever gif something that isn’t very popular but you were really excited to gif it and looking forward to people seeing it and it just... flops? It’s been happening to me lately and I feel so stupid for keep creating only for myself... :( I know tumblr has been like this for a while, but I feel like the people who used to be interested in my creations aren’t anymore, and it honestly depresses me because it’s where I put my energy and creativity, you know? Anyway, keep creating, your sets make me smile❣️✨💌

hi anon !!!! first of all, thank you so so much for your kind words, you are such an angel !! you have made my entire day 💖 and i do not mind you asking at all, you're never bothering me!!

my creative process is probably a bit ~ chaotic ~ compared to others, but i don't mind sharing!! i very rarely make a list of sets i want to make. generally i get an idea and then it just sticks in my brain until i make it (this applies to every area of my life, not just giffing — if i think of something i want to write, or watch, or if i suddenly remember i have to vacuum, or if i think about cutting my hair, i literally can't stop thinking about it till i go through with it). a lot of my sets depend on what i've been watching recently; for instance, the now you see me gifset that i posted today was made in january after i watched that movie for the first time. also, i do post a lot of sets, but for the record, i do not make a set every day 😭 last year & the year before i had a habit of making sets and then leaving them in my drafts forever instead of posting them like a normal person, and eventually i ended up with nearly 100 sets in my drafts and i finally began queueing them to get them out into the world. because of that, i have been working through posting a backlog of edits for several months and i probably always will be 😭 so i have one gifset scheduled to post every day at the same time, and usually whatever set is posted was made a month or two before posting. right now i have an edit scheduled for every day up until april 9, so even if i go a week without making a single gif, i'm still way ahead of schedule. i just wanna explain that so nobody feels bad abt how long it takes them to make a set when i'm posting one every single day without fail — this is just the result of poor planning on my part, basically !!

also, yes, i have absolutely been there re: sets you love flopping :( i don't think any of my most recent sets have even cleared 100 notes which can be super discouraging. please don't feel stupid though, there is absolutely nothing wrong with creating for yourself. that's the main person you should be creating for! i know we all want people to love the things we make, and there is nothing wrong with that. but at the end of the day, the only person who truly needs to love what you've made is yourself. if you love something and you want to make a gifset or an edit for it, if you want to draw for it, or write for it, or even just talk about it, you should. even if your audience is just yourself. you should do what makes you happy! that's what tumblr & fandom are about! i know that for myself, when i stopped waiting for outside validation and just created for myself, that's when i became a lot happier with my experience on this website. that's a lot easier said than done, and there is truly nothing wrong with liking validation. but you can't let it be everything, you know?

i'm sending you lots and lots of love, anon. i hope you find more joy in your fandom experience soon 💖 i am always around to chat and you are always welcome to tag my in your creations 💛✨