#(We're talking 'post from 2017' old)
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Do the kids these days know about shard theory?
#Was reminded about it by a like on an old post on a sideblog#(We're talking 'post from 2017' old)#I'm probably not the best person to do a full write-up there#but if no one else has resources on it to be sharing around I might try my hand at it#angelkin#actuallyangelic#divinekin#actuallydivine
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notes / thoughts on Terzo's characterization (Terzo is so disappointed and depressed and i love him)
a few weeks ago i saw this post from slavghoul which has snippets of TF describing the Papas. it includes this quote:
“He represents this frustrated old guy who hates everyone, especially himself. But despite his wounds and his darkness, he has a sense of humour and is endearing, like most of my heroes. The late actor Christopher Lee was an inspiration to me. In many ways, he is Papa.” (Metallian 7/2015)
i thought this quote was really interesting because i'd never seen anyone talking about that side of Terzo before. Terzo hating "everyone, especially himself" felt at odds with the charming personality he typically displayed. i wanted to know how that developed and where his "wounds and darkness" came from. so i did some digging for quotes on Terzo's history and characterization. here are my notes + thoughts:
something that came up again and again in my research is that he is actually quite antisocial when he's not performing. it seems like he didn't want people to know anything about him past his stage persona.
TOUR MANAGER: No one in the crew really gets to see or speak to Papa, ever. Only Anna and myself have access. He is not in the building and then he'll just be there, just for show time. The only thing you really need to know about Papa is what you see of him on stage. Ghost - The Devil's Hands (Documentary) (2017)
he almost never interacted with any of the nameless ghouls or the tour crew. in fact, he really went out of his way to avoid them. he traveled separately, would appear right before the start of a show, and then he would disappear as soon as it ended. in "The Devil's Hands", it showed they sometimes had trouble locating him when he was needed.
With this new era, can you introduce Papa Emeritus III? NAMELESS GHOUL: I don't know him very well yet. We haven't really done our mileage with him, so I am sure that we will find out. But he seems nice. He seems okay. Obviously, he's very close relatives with Papa number two, who was a little bit of a hmm. I'm sure that he isn't like, completely different, but we'll find out. He's a bit of a recluse, and he sort of travels on his own. And he sort of appears when we're due onstage and then he disappears when we're offstage. So yeah, I guess we have a little bit of a social disconnect there, but I don't see a big problem with that. I mean he seems to be doing well on his own, and I don't know if he has a little harem somewhere that occupies his time offstage, I guess. I'm assuming that. Loud TV (July 2015)
INTERVIEWER: How has it been working with the third Papa? How is he fitting into the group? NAMELESS GHOUL: We like him, actually. He seems to be quite nice. Obviously, we haven't really done our "miles" with him yet, so we don't know him that well. And he doesn't travel with us- he sort of goes separately everywhere, and he appears just before the show and then he just disappears. So we haven't really had the time to sort of fully get to know him. But overall, he seems quite a joyful chap. Metal Injection (September 2015)
predictably, his bandmates did not know him very well. but they always remarked that they liked him and that he seemed like a nice, chill guy. (they also assumed he had a harem that he spent time with when he wasn't performing, which is probably not true, considering how much effort he put into avoiding people whenever possible.)
NAMELESS GHOUL: We don't really socialize with Papa, so… But he seems nice! But he's very occupied in his harem. [...] He's a little bit cooler. He seems to be the nicer of the two brothers --I don't know if there are two-- but he seems to have, I don't know, a kinder mother, probably, or something that makes him slightly.. INTERVIEWER: A little different. NAMELESS GHOUL: Yeah, he's a little bit different. AMBY (October 2015)
i don't think his charming, pleasant demeanor was just an act, though. i think it did come from a genuine part of himself... he wasn't always an antisocial recluse.
before he became Papa, he was a cardinal in Krakow, Poland. Bishop Necropolitus Cracoviensis (the character representing Zbigniew Bielak, the artist who does the album art for Ghost) characterized younger Terzo as having enthusiasm in all his endeavors. he was always a very devoted member of the clergy who had big dreams of progress and modernization for the Ministry and the world. he had a strong interest in Futurist art and philosophy.
Bp. Necropolitus Cracoviensis remembers: "...our relationship goes a long way back to the times before his papacy, that is when he was still a cardinal in my hometown, in Cracovia...(...) Although we had our share of juvenile recklessness - be it indulging his beloved cream pies - allegedly verging on six hundred sixty six portions a year but that must be a rumor I believe, or wild parties at the attic of seminary school (laughs) - even in his formative years, he remained a focused man of vision, looking far into the future, always addressing his people's needs and longings to keep our church together in those turbulent, rapidly changing times (...) there were so many temptations to syndicate among our good people (...) (...) We would sit down to studying exciting Futurist manifestos, sketched the blueprints of utopian metropoles, spiked with shiny skyscrapers stabbing at the heavens belly... Wantonly swollen zeppelins would to carry our gospel of indulgence to the farthest corners of the globe to summon and enslave. (...) Forged in nostalgia of steam and fire, this brave new world of ambition, vice, lust and greed - all so inherent to the enlightened modernity, was always with him through all these years. And it is now - when our church continues to grow stronger and wealthier under wise reign of Papa Emeritus III - that these visions may finally be witnessed and embraced in the preachings of 'Meliora' - his most contemporary and humane Encyclical." (https://www.facebook.com/thebandghost/posts/994031900615606)
those core values of ambition, vice, lust, and greed stayed with him when he became Papa. though he had a revolutionary spirit, he's actually described as "less rebellious" in Metal Myths. Terzo took his job as Papa very seriously, and he cared about being successful and achieving his goals. while he and Secondo certainly had vice, lust, and greed in common, it was Terzo's ambition that truly set him apart.
"It felt like the goal was to take Papa II's sense of modernity and remove the recklessness." Metal Myths: Ghost Pt. 2 (April 2022)
How would you describe the personality of Papa Emeritus III compared to his predecessors? NAMELESS GHOUL: "First of all, Papa Emeritus III is an entertainer! He loves projectors, he loves the public, and he loves success. The first Papa Emeritus was someone very rigid, very strict, and very solemn. A real son of a bitch! (laughs) To be honest, we don’t miss him at all! Papa Emeritus II was a pervert a little bit sadistic, and, in hindsight, I think he wasn’t very at ease on stage. He wasn’t a showman, unlike Papa Emeritus III! Him, he’s the guide we missed to rise up the quality of our shows, to reach the step above and communicate with our fans." (MyRock #44 (2017) translated from French by @ a-wandering-ghoulette)
unfortunately, his ambition eventually led him to become disillusioned and depressed.
Terzo looked forward to becoming Papa. he worked so hard for it his whole life, only to be confronted with the realization that his time as Papa --and therefore his achievements-- would be limited.
he was a nice guy, but he was also was egotistical. he was a showman and an intellectual, and he thought very highly of himself.
NAMELESS GHOUL: He's a little bit more chill. But obviously, all the Papas are definitely pompous assholes. INTERVIEWER: That's part of the job. SPECIAL GHOUL: That's one of the criterias, the prerequisites, that you have to be this sort of flamboyant diva, know-all, show-off. Metal Injection (September 2015)
his self-hatred came from his inability to be the person he wanted to be. it's not that he felt like he couldn't measure up, it's that he felt like he wasn't allowed to express his full potential. Terzo's mindset was "i know i'm good enough. and i could prove it if they would just let me." but he wasn't really in charge, and his vision was at odds with the goals of Sister Imperator.
Terzo felt so stifled, it makes sense that he became a "frustrated old guy who hates everyone, especially himself."
and i think this is the reason for the paradox of him having a kind, charming personality onstage and being unsociable offstage. he still gave it his all. he did the best he could with the time and resources he was allowed. that zealous man of the people was still in there somewhere. but he felt betrayed by the clergy, the organization he dedicated his life to. his career ended up being unfulfilling and he was ultimately really bitter about the way things turned out.
he was good. he never got to be great.
#long post sorry#papa emeritus iii#terzo#radley post#headcanon#i guess#analysis#sure#the band ghost lore#quotes#bishop necropolitus cracoviensis ii
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I've seen so many posts talking about the Honda scene being a visual metaphor for Deadpool and Wolverine having sex that I want to talk about the film as a whole for a second:
Deadpool & Wolverine is a romantic comedy.
There are a bunch of places (including this one) that describe the format of a romantic comedy, but the basic beats are as follows:
1. Introduction to your protagonist "Okay, Peanut, guess we're getting that team-up, after all." Deadpool and Wolverine opens on Wade digging up Logan's remains from Logan (2017).
2. The inciting incident "I'll do it." Paradox kidnaps Wade and blackmails him into locating a Logan to save his timeline. Cue "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls, featured in City of Angels (1998).
3. The meet-cute "You two going to fuck or fight?" After initially failing to resurrect his own timeline's Logan, Wade travels to several other timelines to find another in a montage set to Huey Lewis and the News' "The Power of Love".
4. The new reality/new world "Let's fuckin' go." Paradox sends them to the Void, ruled by Xavier's insane twin sister, where it turns out many other mutants have also been sent. They need to escape in order to save Wade's timeline and try to undo the events of Logan's timeline, which Wade has promised is possible. This requires them to work together.
5. The mirror moment/recommitment "I'm going to fight you now." Logan finds out that Wade lied to him in order to secure his cooperation, leading to the Honda fight scene set to "You're The One That I Want" from Grease (1978). Logan is demoralized but Laura convinces him that he's still needed. He really is; it's his compassion that convinces Cassandra not only to spare their lives, but to send them back to Wade's timeline if they're willing to take a leap of faith together.
6. The crisis/all is lost "They do not play nicely with each other." Cassandra is still insane, so she follows them because she'd like to eliminate all timelines and rule over everyone in the Void. To stop this, Paradox tells Wade and Logan that someone has to cut power to the device she's using at the guaranteed expense of their life.
7. The climax "I got nothin'. Give me this." Naturally, Wade and Logan fight over which one gets the privilege of sacrificing himself for the other. Logan initially wins him over with a heartfelt speech, but Wade gets Logan with a sneak attack. Wade struggles to make the connection between the terminals because they're further apart than the wingspan of a single human, but they're conveniently just the right size for two (ಥㅅಥ). Of course, the choir version of Madonna's "Like A Prayer" is playing here.
This scene encapsulated everything I enjoyed about this film: that it was stupid, emotional, action-filled, filthy, and obviously about romance between men. My husband is straight and he left the theater with me in full agreement that a) this was a romantic comedy and b) they had sex in in the Honda.
8. The resolution "Althea, this is--this is Logan." It's the end of the story, they're about to part ways, and Wade will never see Logan again if he lets him walk out of his life. So he takes Logan home and makes him part of the world he'd been telling Logan he'd been trying to save all movie long.
❤ The end ❤
The Soundtrack I can't tell you how excited I was about the soundtrack. It's full of old, romantic songs. "Only You (And You Alone)" has to be on like every doo-wop or "Best of the '50s" compilation album. "Iris" (oh god this song is old now) was featured in the romantic drama City of Angels. Everyone and their dog has covered "You Belong to Me", and the most famous recent cover has to be Jason Wade's version that was featured in Shrek (2001). Chris De Burgh may not be crazy about "The Lady in Red", but I think it's fucking sweet. I grew up on musicals and LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE "You're the One That I Want" from Grease (1978).
The Honda Odyssey Fight Scene I wanted to come back to this because there is so much to it. I'm bringing up "You're the One That I Want" again.
There are intentional parallels made between this dance number in Grease and the fight scene. It's about the flirtatious push and pull between Sandy and Danny throughout after she's made her superficial transformation into the 'bad girl' at the end of the movie. It's the same in the Odyssey between Logan and Wade. They throw each other in and out of the car as they fight (and sure, go in and out of each other).
Just look at this:
Yup, completely intentional visual metaphors for fucking galore. Logan and Wade even have a post-fight bondage scene.
Also! These scenes end with the couples in moving vehicles.
In conclusion: Deadpool & Wolverine is a violent romantic comedy. Of course they fucked.
#TLDR; they fucked#not that shipping requires validation#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#the honda odyssey#deadpool#the honda hatefuck#wade wilson#logan howlett#grease#wolverine#grease movie#fandom blathering#i am literally insane typing this at 1:30am#deadpool & wolverine spoilers#gif
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please more leclerc!reader with her brothers !!
Let her go
Arthur Leclerc Charles Leclerc Lorenzo Leclerc Pascale Leclerc & Leclerc!reader
Summary - Y/n is getting married and her older brothers is learning to let her go
Warning - Herve Leclercs death, poor translation of French
A/n - I know I haven't finished the golden trio but look I've been wanting to post a written fic for a while now and I have seen so many brothers first look tiktoks so thats what you're getting today!! 😚
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2017
Herve Leclerc was on his last days when he called his three sons to his hospital room. "Papa? Is everything okay?" Lorenzo asked of his dying father.
"My three sons as you know I'm nearing my last day and I only have one thing to ask of you..." The three brother surrounded their fathers bed, Charles and Lorenzo sitting in seats on each side of the bed with Arthur sitting at the feet of the hospital bed. "I want you three to step up and take my place in protecting, caring and loving your sister"
Herve adored his sons equally but he had a different sort of adoration for his youngest. Since her birth, he has always thought of her as an angel. "Of course...we'll do anything you ask of us Papa" Charles answered his fathers orders, alike their father they also felt that level of undying adoration for their younger sister.
-
Charles had sat Y/n down on the plush couch in their Monte Carlo childhood home. "Chérie...Papa died last night" It broke the twenty year old's heart to see his sister find out about their fathers death. He could see her eyes gloss over and fill with salty tears.
He took her into his arms as she started to sob. "He loved you so much, and he said he will watch over us always..." He could feel himself breaking down at his sisters reaction. But Charles knew it was coming.
The twenty year old Monégasques knew it wouldn't be easy for anyone, not for their mother, not for him, Lorenzo, Arthur or her. But they would do what they always did, push through and come out stronger.
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2023
Waking up today, all three of the Leclerc brothers knew it would be both a hard and joyous day for them. It was the day they would have to give away their sister, the sister they promised to their father they would cherish, protect and love in his place. But today they'd need to give her away to the love of her life.
They were staying in the childhood home, back in their childhood bedrooms. When planning her wedding with her fiancé, Y/n insisted they have it in Monte Carlo. Of course her fiancé agreed, knowing how she wanted to be close to her late father on her wedding day.
Getting out of his bed, Charles made his way down to the kitchen where Pascale and Lorenzo were sat eating breakfast. “Bonjour” He announced his presence before making a start on his coffee.
“So where is the bride?” Turning to look at his mother, Charles wondered how Y/n was feeling this special morning.
There was a audible sigh from Pascale. “Well your sister couldn’t sleep last night so I imagine she is currently still sleeping” Both Lorenzo and Charles had concerned looks on their faces.
Noticing their concern, Pacale continued "She couldn't sleep because she was too excited. Don't worry no cold feet" She knew every single one of her children, Pascale knew all too well that her three sons would be overly worried for their sister.
The two oldest sons just nodded, concern evidently gone.
-
There was a knock on the front door. Charles, who was talking with Arthur on the sofa, got up to answer the door. Behind the door stood, the maid of honour and the rest of the bridal party. "Hello Ladies, how can I help you?" Charles joked before stepping aside letting them in.
"We're here for the special bride, where might she be?" The maid of honour asked as she looked around the open plan kitchen and living room where Pascale, Arthur and Lorenzo currently sat. After hearing the question, Pascale quickly pointed up the stairs to which the excited party followed.
After watching the girls running upstairs, Charles moved to sit back down on the couch. As he sat down, all the Leclerc brothers and Pascale could hear was the sounds of excitement.
-
It had been a few hours since the bridal party arrived and everyone had now gotten ready. Standing on the balcony was Arthur, Lorenzo and Charles, all facing away from the balcony doors and more towards the Monte Carlo harbour.
Y/n insisted they do a first look for the brothers, so that’s why she was stood just behind her three older brothers. “Maman are you filming?” She asked of her mother who stood off to the side filming. Pascale nodded. “Okay, you guys can turn around now”
Turning around, each brother now faced their Y/n. She was dressed in her long white gown, hair done and makeup perfected. Tears welled up in their eyes, they could remember the day she was born and how they watched her grow up into the incredible woman.
“Oh chérie tu es si belle” Arthur was the first pipe up from their stunned state, walking towards her before bring her into a careful hug.
Soon enough Lorenzo followed, hugging his sister. “Je t'aime tellement petite princesse” Even now when she was just about to get married, he still used his nickname for her. The same nickname he has used since her birth.
After stepping aside, Charles was the last one to break his stunned state. “Cha Cha…?” Y/n called out for him, everyone knew he was the closest to her, that he loved her the most.
“Mon rayon de soleil…” Finally he stepped forward, taking her hands in his. “Je suis si fier de toi” Through his tears was a soft smile the same smile he had when Y/n started high school, when Y/n graduated and when Y/n was born.
The next question meant so much to Charles, even more than anything else. “Cha Cha…m'accompagner dans l'allée?” She was asking him to take their fathers place and walk her down the aisle before giving her away.
In that moment, he really felt like he had accomplished the one thing his father asked of him and that was to take his father place once he was gone.
Nodding aggressively, Charles crashed Y/n into a hug. “Oui oui oui bien sûr!”
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#formula one#formula one x reader#formula two#formula two x reader#charles leclerc#arthur leclerc#lorenzo leclerc#charles leclerc x sister#arthur leclerc x sister#lorenzo leclerc x sister#charles lechair#lando norris#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#carlos sainz#lewis hamilton#oscar piastri#ferrari racing
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Retrotech Crew 10 Year Anniversary!
A one-off post from @virescent-phosphor sorta snowballed into a tiny community, mostly started as vague vintage computer/technology shitposting here on tumblr.
We slowly congealed in a Skype group chat, which lasted for several years until we migrated to Discord in early 2017 (because Skype was garbage). By mid 2018, our numbers started to grow well beyond the initial tumblr crowd. And then we got a website and an IRC channel , both hosted by @aperture-in-the-multiverse. Eventually, multiple representatives of our group started showing up to various Vintage Computer Festivals around the country -- "hey, you're so-and-so!" Now, friendly faces are all over the place with overlapping interests.
@techav created a mighty fine vintage style logo for us which now adorns buttons, stickers, and even a handful of t-shirts!
Sure, we may just be a few hundred randos who talk about old computers in our free time with delusions of grandeur. But we're also folks helping one another out on projects, sharing the things we enjoy about old tech, hanging out and having a good time, and even still shitposting like the old days...
To all of the members of the Retrotech Crew, thank you for being a part of us.
To those members we haven't heard from in a long time, we miss you.
Beyond tumblr, here's where we exist on the interwebs:
Discord: https://discord.gg/GQjtBWE3as IRC: #retrodreams on irc.slashnet.org Website: https://retrodreams.net/
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Oh im obses whit your blog like you are such a great historian on vale and love the way you analys stuff admire the way of writing all of your toughs in such a corent way 🩷🩷🐹
this is so nice, thank you!! okay so this ask was initially sent in response to this post about how marc knew what a dick valentino was to his rivals and appreciated/wished to emulate that side of him, in particular in the context of copying the jerez pass. and... well, there is one more follow-up post to that I did want to make. it didn't really work within that post because it's pretty speculative, but I think it's fun! here goes
so you know argentina 2018, right, big drama, reconciliation over, bla bla (I promise this is going in a more fun direction, stick with me here). there's a bit of marc's post-race media scrum that I am a wee bit obsessed with. or well, two specific lines, one in english (0:00) and one in spanish (1:02) - I've included the full responses for context, but in this post I'm really only interested in those two lines
in english:
But he was in the past also 25 years old, and will remember, everybody.
and in spanish:
He has also been 25 years old and, well, I hope that people also remember.
... 25 years old, did you say?
okay, look, fair warning. the rest of this post is going to be reading too much into what was probably an off-handed comment - even if, I'd just like to point out, it is something he felt the need to say twice. but let's just have some fun here, and read too much into it. as a treat
so obviously the most generic way to read this is him saying 'well valentino used to be really aggressive on-track too, so people shouldn't be criticising me more than they did him'. thing is, I wouldn't say there was that much of a noticeable decline in how aggressive valentino was being, and 2017 did still feature some major scraps where valentino very much got his elbows out (cf assen and phillip island, I included a bit more detail on this in the marc race rec post). sure, valentino did increasingly have his reservations about some of the behaviour of younger riders, so maybe he was less aggressive now relative to the field... but I just don't feel like that's quite what this line is implying. it's also not about valentino making 'mistakes' in general, because there would have been no reason to refer back to past-valentino in that regard... the 25 year old version of valentino was considerably more error-free than the 39 year old
so then, my theory is that it's about valentino's controversies! that's what people "will remember", right - it's not the general style of riding, not just innocent mistakes, it's the times when valentino caused a bit of a stir on and off the race track. now, again, you could go the generic route here and say 'ah well maybe marc is just thinking of all the mess valentino got himself involved in when he was younger, from getting into a fist fight with max biaggi at age 22 to pissing off casey stoner through his aggressive riding at laguna at age 29'. but let's say for a moment that marc was thinking a bit more specifically than that... after all, if we're just talking about valentino controversies in general, surely marc should be able to think of a rather more recent example where valentino, like marc at argentina 2018, caused another rider to crash and was subsequently penalised for his riding? of course, marc probably didn't want to bring up that particular controversy - but it's still interesting he feels the need to refer back to a younger version of valentino at all, the fact that this crossed his mind in the first place to make him bring it up unprompted while making his case. so maybe when marc, who is after all a known valentino rossi fan, refers twice to what valentino was like at "25 years old"... he is in fact thinking of what valentino was like when he was 25 years old. and in what year would that be? well, here's the thing. it would be 2004
readers of the sete post can probably guess where I'm going with this, but let's just take a moment to review what specific on-track incidents marc could be thinking of here. let's give him a little bit of extra leeway in terms of the age, even though I trust marc to be more on top of the exact age gap than valentino was in times past. let's throw in one year either way, so 2003 to 2005, and draw up a list of any particularly controversial races valentino was involved in. here's what I've got:
assen 2004 - valentino executed a hard overtake for the win on the last lap on sete gibernau. he's not in complete control and almost loses the front at the next corner, which would have taken them both out
qatar 2004 - after his team rubber up his grid slot the night before, valentino gets slapped with a back-of-the-grid penalty. he ends up crashing out of the race and burns his relationship with sete in the aftermath
jerez 2005 - at a time when their relationship is already very chilly, valentino and sete engage in another duel. valentino executes a block pass with contact at the final corner and is booed by the crowd
motegi 2005 - the first chance to seal that year's title, and one valentino would very much have liked to take to spite honda. an unwise overtaking attempt on melandri leaves both on the ground
so, my guess is that neither assen nor motegi were really big enough controversies to fit the bill, though maybe they stuck in marc's mind as instances of 'reckless riding' that he includes in a more generic internal understanding of young valentino rossi. we do of course know for a fact that marc was more than aware of what happened at jerez 2005, not least because he, you know, directly copied that move twelve years later (again, link to the relevant post). like marc in argentina 2018, valentino barged into a rival in rather controversial fashion, and obviously it also made the relationship between him and said rival deteriorate still further. sure, you can't really argue the move was 'as bad' as argentina 2018, but as far as I'm concerned it has the same general vibe
you know what else has the same general vibe? here's a race description for you:
a 25 year old rider is sent to the back of the grid for a reason they consider unfair
they proceed to deliver a phenomenal performance even by their lofty standards, quickly working their way up to a position that seemed unattainable to them
they barge a rival out of the way in their impatience, reaching back to apologise for the move
the race ends poorly for them and they fail to score any points
afterwards, their relationship with a rival is ruined as a result of the events of the race, and the whole thing remains a lingering controversy for years to come
one race that fits this description is, of course, argentina 2018. the other is qatar 2004. there's obviously plenty of details that are significantly different - valentino's move on barros is less egregious and far less controversial, and his race ends in the gravel rather than with a post-race time penalty. still, that start of valentino's? the impatience? the post-race fury? the repercussions this race had? come on, look at the race footage I included in the qatar post and tell me there's not a little bit of a shadow of that qatar fury to the argentina recklessness
this is a point I snuck into the marc race recs post, where I included this excerpt from a post-argentina 2018 write-up:
phillip island 2003, hm? as it happens, in the qatar post, I did include a bit of the autobiography that compares those two specific races:
so, phillip island 2003: a performance that made everyone wonder just how much valentino had left in reserve to draw on whenever he needed it. what valentino is saying here is that this performance wasn't a result of him holding back in all the other races that year - this was speed that was accessible to him only in that moment because he was so angry. so yes, maybe it's a valid question to wonder what would have happened at phillip island 2003 if it hadn't just been the ghost of his bike that had to pick its way through the stragglers. then again, valentino says it's not just rage that does the trick for him - it's controlled rage... which is all well and good, except when you lose control
and see also:
that's what argentina 2018 is all about, isn't it? it's a performance that's rooted in impatience, in restlessness, in frustration - where marc tuns his "rage into pure speed", as valentino would put it, in a hubristic dismissal of the rest of the field. ideally, the two of them channel those emotions to spur themselves on to special, signature performances... but sometimes, it gets the better of them. it got the better of marc that day in argentina and cost him the tentative peace with valentino. at qatar, it could have cost valentino the title
(also shades of this in jerez 2020 - an error sets the stage for some extraordinary pace before it all goes wrong) (catalunya 2003 is a fun more compact nephew to that race without the unhappy ending)
now, look, am I saying that marc was really referring back to qatar 2004 specifically, a race that had happened fourteen years earlier, when making an off-hand remark in a post-race media scrum as he tried to do some damage control in the wake of one of the most controversial races of his career? well, no. he could have been! but it's unlikely. maybe he's shit at maths and was actually thinking about laguna 2008 after all. still, I would like to once again point out that he felt the need to mention valentino's behaviour at age twenty five not once but twice. he's telling us that he wants people to remember what valentino was like at that age, and in the most literal sense I am doing what he's asking for. surely it's worth at least noting that there just happens to be a race where valentino was at that exact age and his temper overcame his rationality, leading to him making a costly error... surely it's worth acknowledging this...
even if marc wasn't actually obliquely referring back to that race or indeed any of the races I mentioned above, of course the parallels between valentino's foibles and marc's are in any case interesting. it speaks to how they get those special performances out of themselves, the similarities in how they operate in that regard... but of course also in how they both sometimes stray rather close to the limit, how they repeatedly flirt with crossing the line. a stubbornness and a hubris and a rage that can sometimes lead to disaster for the both of them. and another thing - who knows if marc was thinking about qatar 2004, but he must have been thinking about something. that's the point of that jerez post, right... marc is valentino's successor in so many ways, he has fashioned himself in valentino's image - and he keenly grasps and remains aware of all the different aspects of that legacy. he's the most accomplished of valentino's students and he felt strongly that what he did in that race in argentina was in some way comparable to what valentino himself had been doing at his age, part of the same tradition even. yes, to some extent marc is obviously accusing valentino of hypocrisy here: how can you judge me when you were once young and foolish too? his tone isn't exactly filled with remorse either, is it, he's pretty feisty in that media scrum! still, there's something more to it... something almost poetic to the whole thing, wouldn't you say? valentino had just accused marc of ruining the sport - and in response marc wants people to remember that they are just the same
#the audience (sobbing): you can't just point at everything and say it's about the sete/valentino rivalry#me: *points at argentina 2018* this is about the sete/valentino rivalry#idol tag#//#2018 argentina#muxas-world#and thank you that's REALLY sweet + appreciated#completely forgot about this sitting in my drafts icl#someone interacted with that post again and i was like. wait a moment i have a follow up in my drafts#i do love marc i always feel like spiritually he's alongside me doing my deep cuts and narrative parallels and all that#there's just something so charming about the idea that he's really aware of what comparable thing vale was doing at any given age#that being said. marc. 'i did a few mistakes' 'i think i did everything well' 'i'm very very... very “happy”' marc everything is on fire#motogp race watch marathon and it's phillip island 2003 // qatar 2004 // jerez 2005 // jerez 2013 // argentina 2018 is this anything#maybe chuck in misano 2019 actually. feels like a good bookend#curse tag#brr brr
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Progress Update - October, 2024
It is time…the first Quarterly Progress Update for our next game starts now! And we're kicking it off with a title drop!!! Drum roll, please! Tom, if you will help me out...
That's right! Heartbreaker joins the fray!
For the record that’s not the real logo, just a temporary one that I slapped together.
Before we get into it I would actually like to glance back at the past and detail what our development timeline looked like for Band Camp Boyfriend. It's possible this one might look somewhat similar.
2015-2017 - Writing 2017 - Commissioned art, created social media presence 2018 - Demo released on Itch.io in August Programming hell 2022 - Demo released on Steam 2023 - Full game released
The good news is this isn’t our first rodeo and I’m hopeful there won’t be so many growing pains this time. We're also doing 4 routes and a shorter common route so that means less suffering for us. The bad news is I worked part-time 2015-2017 so I blazed through writing and now I work full-time…and I’m old…and my memory is failing me…but it’s okay, I’ve forgotten all the pain.
This time around we want to be sure we get all the writing down before we start commissioning art. We had the tendency to keep going back and asking for more because the game kept getting bigger (saving up money was also a factor). We’re gonna make sure we know exactly what we want this time. We’d also like to save casting voice actors for much later in the process so they aren’t waiting around for years on end. So the demo for this game will not have voice acting. I believe I wrote about this a little before in our post-mortem. We’re learning from our mistakes, woohoo!
That said, this is what we’re hopefully visualizing for Heartbreaker.
2024-2025 - Writing 2026 - Big art commissioning year, a more exciting project reveal, hopefully demo release later in the year! 2027 and on - Programming hell! Casting! Soundtrack fun!
…If this was to line up with BCB that would mean 2031 release. Oh God. No, I wanna release it in this decade, thanks. This is very tentative and we’re determined to not take 7 years this time.
Enough about that! Here is what we’ve worked on this year!
Concept art: Lite was absolutely awesome (as always) and let us have sessions with her in which we worked on concept art of the main cast together. It was super helpful in bringing our visualizations to life and it will definitely aid in writing the story. I can't go on enough about how wonderful Lite is to work with, and it was amazing to watch her go. She would whip up a number of poses, face types, or hairstyles for us to choose from. It was really fun and we're very grateful for the time she spent with us.
The demo: That's right, the demo is written! Woohoo! Unlike Band Camp Boyfriend with its twisting, long-winded common route, Heartbreaker’s common route is a single day! Alex can sigh in relief because that’s one less nightmare in programming for her.
The demo will contain the one-day common route and the first two chapters of two different love interests’ routes (the other two are locked at the start of the game so you’ll just have to admire them from a distance).
Brainstorming: Ahh my favorite part…talking long walks or going for coffee and coming up with ideas. Brainstorming is ongoing and includes character profiles, world-building, and route outlines. This game has a lot more lore and world-building than BCB, so it’s more of a challenge, but we’re here for it. I've already done a badly-drawn map of the setting. Just need to finish up some profiles for minor characters and do some of my own badly-drawn concept art. Then we move on to fleshing out the route outlines.
The first route: One goal I have is to try and finish writing the first draft of the first route by the end of the year! Which is insane because October is super busy for me, but I'm sure I can buckle down when it gets colder. It's a bit ambitious, but aim high, right?
That's all I got for now! Hope you're all feeling hyped and uh, patient, because we won't be able to show you any cool art for a while. ;v; Thank you so much for sticking by us and we appreciate every single comment that has mentioned looking forward to our next game! Enjoy the rest of 2024!!!
P.S. Today is my mom's birthday and yesterday was my sister's birthday, and also my best friend's birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAYYYY to these very important people. <3
#heartbreaker#wah it felt weird to not type band camp boyfriend who even am i anymore#visual novel developer#otome development#indie game dev#progress update#heartbreaker otome
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If your first instinct is to respond to someone talking about how people are conflating Zionism and Judaism in dangerous ways with 'why am I seeing Zionism on my dash,' you are part of the fucking problem, asshole.
My old shul just finished installing concrete blockades around the playground just in case someone decides to try to drive a truck across the playground while the kids are out there. Every synagogue I know has added more guards, more security. There was a car crash tonight outside a synagogue a friend of mine attends, and for a second when everybody could see one of the cars veering off the road toward the synagogue, the thought went through their head, essentially, oh, it's starting.
And the fact that posts like this, posts made by people who are tired and scared because they're being held to account for the actions of a country halfway around the world, over which they have no control whatsoever, posts of people saying 'please fucking listen to us,' are literally being held up as evidence that we're Bad Evil Zionists who should be purged? That's a fucking problem.
Since 2016, 2017 -- basically since I became Jewish -- I have made it a policy never to talk about I/P online because I don't actually think it's productive, and I have more productive shit I can be doing. The fact that I don't talk about it has been held up as ironclad proof of my opinions.
Think about that. The fact that I said 'I will not tell you what my opinion is because I think the way this is handled online isn't productive' seven years ago is held up as absolute proof of what I think now, and that those opinions are the somehow magically opinions that people who already think I'm a piece of shit want me to have so they have more reasons to say 'yeah, spider sucks.'
I didn't even have the same pronouns seven years ago. I lived 3000 miles away from where I live now. I own a company. I have two wives. But you're right, I must think the exact same thing about this thing that lets you hate me without thinking, 'am I the baddie?'
It's so fucking transparent. Zionist is now just "Jew I don't like," and Zionism is "any act Jews take which makes them visible in ways that don't involve groveling or dying." It's fucking pathetic. If you have spoken to a Zionist, you're a Zionist. If you have ever expressed any opinion about Israel that isn't 'it and all Israelis should be of course set on fire,' you're a Zionist. If you express no opinions at all about Israel, you're a Zionist. If someone already doesn't like you for whatever reason, they'll decide you're a fucking Zionist, and then that's all they need. Nobody ever questions it when they're told a Jew online is a Dirty, Evil, Zionist, and if you say you're not, actually, then you're a Lying, Dirty, Evil, Zionist.
Like, could y'all be any more transparent?
#the people calling me a Zionist also tend to misgender me#but i'm sure that's nothing that needs to be unpacked#no sir
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Not bothering to send this on anon because I'm 75% sure no one in this story even has Tumblr, and I'm 100% sure the main person in the story hasn't used Tumblr since 2017.
AITA for not waking up my friend?
Asking this because a birthday of a deceased loved one is coming up soon and I would really feel like an asshole if I didn't text my friend, but we're not on speaking terms at the moment.
Okay, so story begins 5 days ago: me and some friends (all F between 22-24 years old) including me (24F) and B (23F) were going to hang out at a park near B's house. Everyone except B was ~1 hour drive away, but this park has a migrating species visiting this time of year, and this park was special because B's mom also took her there before she passed away when B was a teenager. So me and other friends drive up, and we are all in a group chat discussing what time we're leaving, so there are text records of when we left, but nobody texted an ETA to B until we got there. B's house is about 5 minutes away, so we figured it wasn't a big deal and she'd meet us soon, so we wait in the parking lot. An hour of us texting and calling her goes by with no responses from B, calls went straight to voicemail. Eventually, she texts back saying she just woke up (it was past noon at this point, and she had texted us ~10am) and that she was still in bed. We all decide to leave without her, and that's when she starts blowing up everyone's phones.
She eventually shows up and finds us, and she had clearly been crying. She started chewing us out on the walking path telling us we should have gone to her house to wake her up, or called her dad to wake her up. (She lives with her dad, but it was the middle of a work day, so I didn't even know he would be home.) She was very upset about us not waking her up and not telling her our exact ETA before we got there, but we were all kind of annoyed that we had waited so long for her too, so it was a very tense hang out.
I was willing to let it go, honestly, even though we've been fighting about a couple other things recently (that deserve their own post, but I know I'm not the AH in that one) and because I had a similar issue last year where I slept through a hang out, and I just ended up showing up late, no big deal. I actually apologized for sleeping through my alarms, which B has still not done. If she'd apologized and THEN said we should have told her our ETA, I would have apologized for that. I have not and do not plan to apologize for not waking her up or calling her dad, because I find that kind of thing childish, but if I'm ruled TAH, I will. I know one friend from the group is on ny side entirely, I don't know the opinion of the other.
We fought about the situation more that night, and after I said it was childish of me to call her dad to get her, she stopped responding. B did text me back the next day telling me she didn't have time to discuss then, but she'd text me back when she did, and now it's been radio silence for almost a week. Now B's mom's birthday is tomorrow, and I feel bad not saying anything to her. In past years we've always talked or hung out, because I know that day is especially hard for her. I definitely feel a little like TAH, but I'm also still mad. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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love how tumblr will gaslight gatekeep girlboss when you try to search your own blog for a post. like on most sites you can coax an old post out eventually with the right keywords maybe a google search. but with tumblr it's like. oh you think you made that post? you must be losing it ...haha just kidding. but you never made that post. sorry you think i'd hide a post from you i would never do that to you; i love you. y'know a couple of other social media sites have mentioned that you've invented posts too... not that we've been talking about you we're just worried about you... you must not have made it, you're probably just confused there's no way you could be going insane... right? haha. maybe you should go lie down though. you did however reblog a countdown to halloween gifset of scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed back in 2017 though check this shit out
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The Wandering Jew (Alfie Solomons x fem!OC)
"Welcome to end of the World", Alfie said.
Alfie x Rose Masterlist
Summary: It was like an apocalyptic movie. First it wasn't that bad, or that was people thought, until it was that bad. Rose landed in London with the idea of returning home a week and a half later, but few days after that, the PM decided to close everything. His flight was cancelled and getting a new one was an impossible mission. The world is facing a new era and she's there trapped in an Inn, in a distant city with a complete stranger and his dog.
Warnings: Just topics related to covid-19.
Words: 2K. || I'm rewriting the first chapters I posted last year. I changed several things and I'm happier now. You can find the rest of their modern story here.
Series masterlist.
18th March 2020.
The world was starting to panic because of the new virus created in China. Or maybe it was a sick bat that, like a domino effect, caused thousands of deaths already. China was closed, countries around it, too. Italy was collapsing slowly and the WHO already declared that this new virus, called COVID-19, was a pandemic.
Yet, millions of people continued with their lives as always. Working, going to classes, visiting friends or relatives and others, like Rose, were travelling.
Born in London in 1988, Rose Coldwell was returning to her city after eight years living in New York where she moved with her mother and two brothers. She received an important job offer back then and the money was beneficial for the four of them. Louis, her youngest brother went to high school and Samuel, the second brother, begun to study law in a good college there. Now the youngest was studying architecture and Samuel was part of a law firm in Manhattan.
Rose, on the other hand, ran her own fashion blog and had a small business. Nothing too extraordinary, but something that made her happy. After several years of sending mails and filling out forms to be part of any international fashion event and equal numbers of rejections, she sent a mail to be part of an international convention there in London and she was accepted. 2020, it was going to be an unforgettable year, she thought.
And she was right… but the reasons were going to be quite different.
The plane landed and she felt she was returning home like the prodigal son, or daughter. Not even once since she left the country she returned there and it was a pleasant feeling to be back on her land.
Some people around her in the airport were walking fast avoiding the multitude. Some were wearing masks, some not. A woman wearing one was offering alcohol to sanitize people's hands. An old man sneezed and caused several disgusted faces from people around him.
'Probably he's just allergic,' she thought.
While she was waiting for her baggage, she checked her phone. Her mother called her several times and also one of her brothers. She ignored them for now, once she was in her bedroom, she'd be able to call them.
"I think he needs to close everything."
Rose heard two men talking near her, one already had his suitcase, but the other not.
"Johnson already denied that, Luke. We're safe, he said."
"And you believe him?" the one named Luke, asked. "Give the virus a couple of days and we're doom, Fred."
Rose's heart started to beat fast. The fact that she was on the other side of the ocean away from her family, suddenly terrified her. But she shooed those thoughts from her mind. The UK under a strict lockdown sounded ridiculous.
.
The Wandering Jew was an Inn that opened its doors in 2017. The most popular in all Candem Town and its surroundings. Rated by its guests with five stars in websites like booking.com and full of positive feedback.
The Wandering Jew had over 60 rooms and five of them were almost a suite. Not like a the ones you would find in the most expensive hotels, but still quite elegant.
But most of all, The Wandering Jew had a man named Alfie Solomons, the owner.
Alfie bought the building, that was about to be demolished, in 2016 and hired people to reconstruct it. From engineers and architects to construction workers. One and a half years later, it was finished it. It costed him several thousands pounds but it was worth and he was happy with it.
His apartment was above the Inn, so he never really left that place, except to walk his dog and closest friend: Cyril. Every late afternoon it was common to see both of them walking out the Inn to go to a park and spend an hour or two there.
During the day, while Alfie was behind the reception counter, Cyril usually was sleeping next to his feet or greeting some guests.
And that was exactly what Cyril did that 18th of March.
The reception was empty in that moment, most of the guests were out visiting some places and few others were sleeping or at least they were in their bedrooms. Cyril had been chewing his favourite tennis ball, when he heard a taxi and he stood up quickly. The dog ran towards the glass door and spied from there. Alfie barely paid attention to him.
Cyril was excited. He didn't know her, but the dog was still happy. He could smell her as soon as she left the taxi and now that he could see her, his tail was wagging faster than before. His excitement caused to Alfie to finally raise his eyes from the newspaper and put attention to Cyril who was now hopping.
Alfie saw Rose for the first time while she was pushing the glass door with her body. In one hand she had her baggage and in the other her phone. She was speaking with someone and was clearly upset. And had every reason to be mad. The one on the other side of the line, was a bastard whose only purpose in his life was to harass her. No matter how many times she blocked him, he always get a new number to call her.
"Go and fuck yourself, dickhead!"
Alfie was amused, without no doubts that was the best entrance ever. And a very pretty one.
He saw her sliding her phone in her pocket and then watching at Cyril who seemed to be more than happy after she petted him gently. Cyril ran towards Alfie and barked at him.
"Did you see her? Did you?" He seemed to say.
"Calm down, boy," Alfie said to the animal and then he looked at her who was already in front of him at the reception counter. "I'm sorry, he's usually quieter."
"Don't worry, he's nice! And I love dogs." Rose smiled at him and he did the same. "I booked for a room online, two weeks ago. Coldwell is my last name," she told him.
After giving him her ID, and while he was checking the information she paid attention to the place. She had already seen several photos online and she liked it but the Inn was really nice. The paintings on the walls were warm and several represented the sea. A plant over the counter called Wandering Jew, like the Inn itself, captured her attention. Her mother used to have that kind of plans when they lived in London. She asked herself if the Inn's name was because of those plants or there was another reason.
"Everything is okay, Ms. Coldwell," he said giving her ID back and also a key "Room 44. Welcome and I hope you enjoy your days here."
"Thanks! I will!"
"Every room has a phone that communicates directly with this one," he said pointing at a black one over the counter, "if you need anything you can call me... us. Call us."
Rose chuckled and nodded "Thanks…"
"Alfred. Alfie."
"Thanks, Alfie."
_
Two days later, the 20th of March, it was obvious that things were out of control. Hospitals were saturated, the numbers of sick people were increasing, flights become to be a necessity and there weren't enough planes. Countries like Italy, Greece and France were collapsing under the virus. And several of them closed their frontiers. Boris Johnson had already a rope around his neck but he refused to start a quarantine yet.
"No, I'm not admitting new guests," Alfie said to the person who called the Inn "I'm sorry."
His right hand, Ollie, was next to him. Both of them were waiting news from the government but there was nothing except empty words and promises about a bright future.
The convention were Rose had to go was cancelled because the organisers were sick and it was suspended. And in top of that she received an email saying that her original flight to return home was cancelled. The company gave her the money back but they didn't say anything about a reschedule.
She returned to the Inn that afternoon only to see in the TV that was in the reception, that there were riots everywhere. Demanding a lockdown, demanding more medical assistance and some demanded Johnson's and the Queen's heads.
Both men, Rose and an old woman were paying attention to the BBC journalist who was in front of one of the hospitals.
"Welcome to the end of the world," Alfie commented.
He wasn't that wrong.
The night of the 22th of March, it was chaotic. Finally the lockdown was imminent and some people was already leaving the Inn. Ollie, who worked the night shift, was giving them their money back for the days that they couldn't stay. That night Rose didn't sleep. She tried to get a flight and she could hear her mother's voice in her head "you should listen to me."
And yes, Mary Coldwell was right but it was too late now for any regrets. Rose needed to return with her family, the thing was how.
The next morning it was officially confirmed the beginning of the quarantine. Alfie again behind the counter, was attending the remaining guests who were living the Inn. Including those who refused to leave. One particular woman was complaining about the lockdown and she was basically blaming Alfie because of that.
Alfie was trying to remain calmed but this Karen wasn't making things easy.
"You can't expelled me like that. I paid for my bedroom for three weeks and I've been here for only one. I want to stay here for three weeks!"
"But you can't. You can go to 10 Downing Street and talk with the Prime Minister about your holidays, if you want. I'm just a citizen following these new rules, ma'am. Pick up your belongings and get in your car and return home. Stay there until the Quarantine is over."
Rose was sitting on one of the armchairs at the reception. Phone in hand, refreshing the airlines website every two seconds, but not avail. Everything was collapsed and there wasn't any flights. The news showed people sleeping on floors and she knew that was her fate and she was really upset. So hearing that woman was ending with her patience.
"I'm going to sue you, you'll see! And you're going to regret it! This is a complete nonsense! There's no such thing as a virus!! It's the media! And the left and…"
"Shut the fuck up, for once! Fuck!"
Both Alfie and the woman stared at Rose who was frowning. The first one smiled, but the woman seemed offended.
"I didn't pay to be insultated!"
"I'm doing this for free," Rose replied.
Gasping, the woman warned Alfie with a lawyer one last time and left the Inn, according to her, to search a better place to stay. She found none.
The rest of the guests left the Inn without drama and by 4pm only Rose remained there. From all the guests that The Wandering Jew had there at the moment, she was the only one living in United States, the rest were all over Britain. In consequence, the only one having problems was Rose.
"Any luck?" Alfie asked watching her with her phone still in hand.
"No. Not really. My brother is trying to help from his home but he's not having luck either."
"You can stay here for tonight if you want," Alfie said.
"I was planning to go to the airport and stay there."
"Sleeping on the cold tiles in middle of a pandemic? I'm sorry but it sounds risky."
"But…"
"I hanged the sign. For everyone here, the Inn is closed. Don't worry."
"Just for tonight, I promise," she said.
Alfie agreed.
"Just tonight."
How wrong both of them were.
#alfie solomons#alfie x rose#alfie solomons x oc#alfie solomons x ofc#tom hardy#peaky blinders#modern au#the wandering jew
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i've been trying to formulate how i feel about wad and this era of phandom since i finally got the chance to watch wad all the way through with my girlfriend last night and after sobbing violently following the smash mouth credits i think i have some semblance of a train of thought. long ramble incoming after the read more hehe
for context, i've been watching dnp for about 10 years, which for some of you is an extremely long time and for others is piddly. regardless, a decade of my life has been spent in varying amounts watching dan and phil and interacting with the phandom. and part of what i was trying to express to my gf after watching the show was that it really is a sense of pride to see the sad clown poster child for being, well, sad, to open up about his mental health struggles, to coming out, to making we're all doomed. i think this is a very similar reaction to the pride a lot of us feel for dan.
for me too, though, it's been the phandom (hi guys lol). I was really active in the phandom from like 2014ish-2017 (at which point i still watched videos as they were posted but i also just wasn't on tumblr as much and i had ~college~ to focus on), but that time was very formative teenage years for me during which i was going through similar mental health struggles, struggling with sexuality, regular ol' teenage demons, etc. and this sort of phandom revival has been making me feel this ridiculous nostalgia for those teenage years (even tho i was fighting for my life the whole time lol). i can sooo distinctly remember where i was when certain videos were uploaded, the feeling of being curled up in my bed at midnight in the summer with my iphone 5c catching up on the previous years' videos, making subpar edits on my phannie instagram while i was on a plane for my family's summer vacation.
having both the boys and the phandom (more) active again gives me that nostalgic feeling but with the feeling that everything feels So Much Better Now. i get the same excitement and rush watching new videos, sharing around edits and gifs, being insane with you all, but with the knowledge that i am older and i am better now. in a lot of personal ways i'm literally living the life i so desperately wanted when i was a teen and now i get to live it but with the same things that brought me joy when i was a sad 15 year old. despite the nostalgia, i dont think i would choose to go back to that time, but getting to look back on it now, and watch videos where dan and phil are unapologetically gay and happy and soulmate-y, see dan living his theatre kid dreams and is so so proud of his work, and to have this community of you all where we're all old(er) and queer and so proud of our dads (sorry). it's indescribable despite my best efforts to describe it. and yes i know i don't actually talk to a lot of you that's cause im awkward and bad at replying but if you've made it this far this is your open invite to start a convo with me in dms/ask box. anyways. i love you all. i love our boys. im grateful to be here with all of you.
#okay to rb / add your own thoughts if you’d like!#dan and phil#phandom#dnp#daniel howell#we’re all doomed#phil lester#amazingphil#mine#phan
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I'm grumpy about Silent Hill again...
TW for discussions of suicide, self harm, abuse (both parent to child and amongst peers) and general spookiness. Y'know... the usual Silent Hill rigmarole of trauma and despair. Also be warned that I'm going to spoil a lot of the Silent Hill series, in particular Silent Hill 2 and the Short Message game that just came out. ***
So... one of my most popular posts out there is this one. It's about Pyramid head and the loss of subtlety in media. And I couldn't help but feel like we hadn't moved an inch from when I posted that back in... *checks date on post* hrrk. my bones... 2017. I'm going to die soon. Anyway. Today I watched Second Wind do a run of the short, free-to-play Silent Hill: Short Message. I admittedly had a good bit of trepidation going in just because of the marketing. Which, for all of you marketing majors out there, that is called "Not a good sign." Marketing should make you want to play a game... especially if you're a fan of the series already. But this... it was a bit of a wet blanket, largely due to the fact that it spoiled a lot of the focus of the game. It basically said "this is a game about how bullying and being chronically online is real bad. We're gonna be spooky about it now." And... straining to push aside how incredibly reductive that is... why give it away? Why say it out loud? Why did you tell us what you are doing? Can you imagine Silent Hill 2 if we'd known it was about James killing his wife from the jump? We didn't. We hadn't the first clue. We knew nothing other than that he was looking for her and she was maybe dead? But we didn't know how... possibly lung cancer or TB given that she had the most pointed coughing sequence since the movie Tombstone. And hey... the last game had someone looking for a loved one too. Maybe that's the deal with Silent Hill. Who knows? No one did at that point. It was still a big old mystery for the most part. And then the E3 trailer... like there's the weird pretty lady in jail? But what's she talking about? Who the fuck is Mary? Is that... his wife? Well then who the hell is Ms. Miniskirt? No wait... is that his wife in the VHS tape? What the hell is going on? Oh look gameplay! And... a little girl? And a weird guy with a gun... This soundtrack slaps. I'm gonna go see if it's up on Napster yet. (this was 2001... again... my bones etc) I remember combing over low-res copies of that video for HOURS when it came out. Why are the nurses different? It's not snowing? Who are all these people... And why do they all sound like they put ketamine in their coffee. It was like a great big puzzle to work out and we had a ball theorizing and researching so when it came out we were HYPE. And that was largely because in short... we knew SOME things at release. Fog. Nurses. Big stick. Weird people. Banger soundtrack. Dead (but probably not) wife. And we presumed or supposed more... cult activity? New beasties? Radio maybe? But we effectively knew nothing about the plot. And the best part was, while they had a solid hook (Find dead lady who we love so huggy buggy much) and instant intrigue (Angela in the cemetery being weirder than a film by David Lynch), and a very familiar setting (we may have improved draw distance on the PS2, but we don't have to use it!), we still didn't really know what was going on. The plot was essentially unfolding out of a black box. Silent Hill 2 was quite content to be a slower burn than trying to boil the Lake Superior with a signal flare. You don't even see the main "villain" Pyramid Head until a few hours in and, as I pointed out in that other post, there's no flashy cut scene to introduce him and go WOOOOOO SCARYYYYY. He's just chillin' behind some prison bars (which that totes is normal in an apartment complex) and staring at you like I stare at the inside of my fridge when I really would like some cheese to materialize.
And then... like we're not even really sure what the hell is going on for the longest time. We meet our wife's hot twin with the key to a strip club and she keeps getting killed over and over... and things keep getting increasingly rapey and lewd in a way that's just uncomfortable more than anything... But even at the end. Even with the big reveal of "You killed your wife." they still don't ever explicitly state "And you killed her because you couldn't have sex with her anymore." It wasn't until you finished the game, and talked to someone else about it, or let your brain cook on it for a bit that you went... heyyyy... he's a horndog! (In fact... if I'm going to chide SH2 for anything it's that right at the very VERY end they tried to frame James's actions as understandable because the woman who was dying and frightened and in pain was mean to him. Yes, being a caretaker is hard. But Christ... pick a topic for discussion.) But contrast all that with Short Message. The marketing and such all said out loud "THIS IS ABOUT BULLYING" so even going in... I was already like "yep. The bully is probably us, but we had reasons because we have to be complicated and you aren't allowed to make the player feel bad" And lo was I correct. There was no... intrigue. I was never curious about the character or the people around her because I knew this story. They already told me what story they were telling so I could practically sing along, especially as a millennial that had to grow up watching little videos and skits in school about the evils of bullying. And when you are going to tell a trope-ish story, and you tell the audience what the trope is, it becomes "say the line" writ large. This isn't me advocating for super twisty unexpected plot arcs (looking at you, Supernatural). Far from it. You absolutely should tell a story in such a way that the audience understands how you got from point A to point Z, even if there are some surprises along the way (See Sixth Sense for that masterclass). Rather, what I'm missing from this (and frankly a lot of the Silent Hill games and honestly... media in general these days) is a sense of restraint. A sense of trust in their audience to "get it." They can't just plonk us in the fog with a radio and a stick and say "You're here to find your best friend/dog/cousin/wife/business partner. Good luck. Here's a weirdo to prattle cryptically at you in order to unsettle you immediately. Bye!" No! They have to tell us what kind of story they're telling and what themes are important. They can't just... give us a Silent Hill Game and trust that we know what to do with it. It's... insulting frankly. Especially as a longtime fan of the franchise who remembers when they did trust us and they did have faith in their work. I will say this in compliment to Short Message. The environment design was pretty cool. Especially the sticky-note hallways... they looked like leaves... and sometimes teeth... and like tightly packed bones in an ossuary. It didn't... say anything really. But it looked cool. And you can't go wrong with Akira Yamaoka's soundtrack. But... while I'm on the subject of design. Y'all. An animate sakura tree in an oversized hoodie is not scary. But bless you for at least having the restraint to not make her Pyramid Head.
#silent hill#silent hill 2#silent hill 4#silent hill short message#horror#writing#story telling#suspense#video games#video game design#horror games
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~ Imagine Dragons Concert ~
First of all, Dan sounds good live!
"We're Walking the Wire" was beautiful live. 🥹
I loved the uplifting, encouraging songs, such as "We're Walking the Wire" and "Whatever It Takes".
The backdrops with the moving graphics for each song was gorgeous! I have so many videos and screenshots so I can't recall which exact song(s) I liked the most as far as graphics go, but "Sharks" was neat. The backdrops were basically set up like underwater (obviously) with sharks swimming. A few close up of sharks too, which was cool.
Hearing some of the songs from the 2010s like "Thunder" and "Radioactive" was nice.
Apparently "It's Time" was on the setlist, but I swear I do not recall hearing it! ... And I love that song. 🥺 I was lowkey hoping that they would play that. I definitely would have recorded it.
I was not expecting Dan to take his shirt and shorts off, but there we were... Lmao, and my God, was he ripped. We're talking muscles, 6 pack, etc. The whole package, Poppy!
I loved hearing my favorite songs live and the whole concert itself, but one thing that really stood out to me was Dan talking about mental health. He proceeded to tell us how Imagine Dragons came about followed by things he struggled with growing up in his teen years and even now as an adult. He ended his (2.5 minute) speech by assuring us audience members that we are loved and to please not leave this world.
(I'll post the video on my account soon!)
Again, I have a lot of favorite songs, but the ones I enjoyed the most were "Bones" and "Enemy".
That's...about it! It was a wonderful concert overall. 🩷
THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY OH MY GODDDD OK OK:
dan's voice is absolutely incredible! i hope he was screaming a lot during your show because, oh dear lord, i do love guys who scream (*cough cough* tyler joseph *cough cough*) and dan just happens to be very good at it (my favourite imagine dragons songs are actually the ones where he screams lmao)
walking the wire will always be one of the most important songs to me. it was their newest single when they had a show in poland in 2017 and they actually performed it live for the first time that day AND I WAS THERE. i was there. good all days. beautiful song. ahh.
the thing about sharks makes me so incredibly happy for the dumbest reason ever (not because i love the song but because i fucking love sharks shhjdvjsevjh i'm sorry)
i'm pretty sure they still sing radioactive at every single one of their shows which is pretty cool because i love this song so fucking much and i know a lot of people hate it because it's their most popular song, but that could never be me, radioactive is my baby forever and always. i also love thunder. used to sing it all the time with my best friend (who's no longer in my life. but i always think about him when i hear this one. i hope he's doing alright)
what do you mean they didn't perform it's time, it's the most imagine dragons song ever, WHY OH WHY JAIL FOR THEM!!!
he DID WHAT NOW... what do you mean dan was stripping on stage, oh dear lord. to absolutely no one's surprise, i used to have a huge crush on him (why do i always have to have a crush on my favourite artists genuinely what the hell is wrong with me but dan is really hot ok ok), i would probably fucking die. oh dear lord. omg. can you hear mE SCREAMING-
oh, i absolutely fucking love it when he talks about mental health. it always makes me cry but also i always felt so fucking proud because i can only assume how hard it is for him. i know he's been struggling a lot in his life. it's always nice to know you are not alone. makes you feel seen.
i know nobody asked for it, but i found an old video from my show from two years ago and i just want to share it with you. i was really close. and he was wearing a very slutty shirt that day. you're welcome.
i'm so glad you had fun!!! can't wait to see the video from your show!!!
#i'm sorry for this motherfucking essay bjfkebkk#it just makes me so excited#especially because they used to be my favourite band so they still somehow mean so much to me#thank you for sharing your experience with me!!!#daisy anon#imagine dragons#i saved every letter you wrote me*
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On Donna (and Claudia) Beneviento
So, having spent the last couple of months absorbed in the world of RE: Village, somehow what’s really got my inner-canon-sleuth going this time is the issue of timelines. Just how long was Miranda posing as Mia before she was found out? Just how old are each of the Four Lords of the village? The game’s not telling us, but can I puzzle it out…
There are probably no ‘canonical’ answers to questions like this, at least in the sense of ‘answers the writers have agreed on and written down.’ Even putting aside all the usual complications of writing for games, RE: Village is a horror title structured around a gothic fairy tale: genres built on dream-logic and atmosphere. You may as well ask the ‘canonical’ backstory of Cinderella’s evil stepmother, or Dracula’s three ‘brides’: there isn’t one, because that’s not the point.
And yet, RE: Village provides just enough tantalising hints that I can’t resist the challenge of hunting answers that are, if not definitive, at least consistent with all the (limited) information we get. Which is how I wound up writing up this whole spiel about the four lords and who joined the family when (now up over here) – only to realise that the section on Donna Beneviento alone was getting so long it really needed its own post – so here we are.
Here's what stands out about Donna: Miranda has (very canonically) been experimenting on her villagers for a full century. Her daughter’s death in the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1919 is as explicit as anything in this game gets. The four lords and their household crests are presented like an institution that’s been around for generations (Do Not Ask why a small Romanian village needs as many as four lords. It’s a fairy tale, and that’s the wrong question).
And yet, Donna herself logically can’t have joined Miranda’s family any more recently than 1996 – a mere 24 years ago.
We know this, because it’s the year of death on Claudia Beneviento’s grave (1987-1996) – and that grave already existed when she was adopted by Mother Miranda. What little we know about Donna’s past comes from her gardener’s diary, and he talks about both in entries only days apart. There’s no year provided, but the dates are November 10-29. It could have been 1997, it could have been 2019 – but it’s a year I’m old enough to remember either way.
So did it really take Miranda that long to ‘complete’ her little family collection? Or could there have been a previous cadou-empowered Lord or Lady Beneviento? And should I be reading so much into a date on a gravestone, which for all I know should have read 1896, and which made it into the game by accident? I have no idea, but we're going with it anyway.
But wait: we have more dates! We never meet the gardener himself, but he’s given the name Josef Simon in the note he left on the Iuthier house in the village. And if he left that note in person, he must have been still living in the village as recently as 2017, because (and this is where it all gets deep into nerd-analysis territory), there’s a child’s drawing on the wall of Iuthier’s house dated to that year.
Why does this matter? Well, his last diary entry ominously ends with him taking an invitation to visit Donna’s house to see his ‘departed wife’. And that’s all the more ominous, considering the Duke’s statement that ‘none of her playmates have ever returned’ – not to mention, well, everything that happens to Ethan down there. The looming implication is that the gardener died soon after writing that last entry – meaning those entries were written after he’d shut up the Iuthier house, meaning that Donna only became her mould-empowered self as recently as 2017 (or even more recently still).
(God, do you see why this shit had got me so hard? It’s like solving one of those grid-based logic puzzles where if Mary is wearing a red hat and Adam wasn’t in the house on Thursday, which of the household could’ve been present at the time of the murder? This isn’t even supposed to be a detective game, GDI!)
But before we get too far down this particular rabbit hole, it’s worth remembering we don’t know for sure that the gardener died within days of Donna joining Miranda’s family. Or, to take a slightly darker angle, we don’t know for sure that the gardener who kept that diary was the same gardener who shut up the Iuthier house after 2017. Maybe ‘Josef Simon’ is a completely new gardener, who kept that old diary around to remind himself why he should absolutely never breathe too deeply over Claudia’s grave, or accept any of Mistress Donna’s invitations to come inside for tea…
Claudia Beneviento herself is a figure so mysterious that I’m a little suspicious her grave (let alone those bizarre dates) only exists at all due to some miscommunication between the writers and the environment asset team, or as a relic of a couple of very different stories getting awkwardly redacted into one at the nth hour (notes that came with the artwork say that her house was originally conceived as belonging to a doctor, the doll-theme only added later, which isn’t surprising). Taken at face value, a woman in mourning dress with a creepy doll obsession and a 9-year-old’s grave in her garden screams that Claudia was Donna’s daughter, whose tragic death she never recovered from. It fits with the greater themes of the game too: Miranda and Eva, Ethan and Rose, Donna and Claudia?
Only problem being that the gardener’s diary suggests that Donna's personal tragedy was something else altogether.
If the gardener is to be believed, Donna’s story is that of someone who shunned others from childhood due to ‘the scar over her eye’ (a birth defect?) choosing instead to talk to people only through the ventriloquist’s doll made for her father – then cut off from the world even further by her parents’ tragic deaths. (Notes on the artwork go further, suggesting that her parents committed suicide at the waterfall, but this never made it into the game.) Where does a dead 9-year-old girl come into that? Is she Donna’s sister, her cousin or aunt? It’s damn hard to find space for a daughter in the gardener’s account, but the fresh bouquets on the grave suggest she was at least someone important. It all feels like a story that’s been hastily patched together at the last minute (and very likely, it was).
Donna’s powers present a similar dichotomy: hallucinogenic plants and autonomous living dolls? The only common theme there is ‘spooky shit’. (God, it’s like Heisenberg and the lycans all over again!) I don’t mean any of this as a serious critique of the game or story: Donna’s house stays with people for a reason – horror’s often more effective because it’s incomprehensible – but Donna-the-character is a cypher.
Speaking of Donna's medical report, that confusing line about how she "divided her Cadou among her dolls in order to control them from a distance" is (inasmuch as I am qualified to translate it) a little clearer in the Japanese version. A more literal translation might be more along the lines of "has shared her own cadou with her favourite doll to control it from a distance" ‒ which certainly adds context to why it's Angie's remains you bring back to the Duke. What's in all those other dolls is open to question: more experimental cadou, or is them moving just another illusion? We'll never know for sure.
That's about it for hard info. Still, for what it’s worth, have some rampant speculation!
Suppose Donna and Claudia were sisters, Claudia the treasured ‘normal’ sister, to Donna’s disfigured recluse. Suppose Claudia died, and their grief over the loss of their one 'proper' daughter led Donna’s parents to throw themselves over the waterfall, leaving her all the more alone. Yeah. Just let that settle in for a moment.
Alternatively, suppose both of Donna’s parents (and perhaps even her ‘normal’ sister) lost their lives to Miranda’s quest to integrate all four noble houses into her own twisted family. The success rate for cadou experiments was notoriously low. Suppose she resorted to Donna last because her deformity made her that much less desirable – only for Donna to survive, to be ‘adopted’ by the very woman who murdered her whole family.
Now imagine Donna living under the shadow of inevitably being supplanted (yet again) when her new ‘mother’ manages to revive the true daughter she really wanted all along…
Now there are some horror stories for you.
As a side note, I’ve seen some articles claim Donna had a female family member called Bernadette who died in Miranda’s experiments. This isn’t based on much: the only evidence is a 21-year-old “Bernadette B” mentioned in one of Miranda’s case notes, shortly before the success story of “Alcina D”. Notably, “Alcina D” is recorded as being ‘of noble birth’, while “Bernadette B” is simply noted as ‘no occupation’, which doesn’t really support the idea the B stands for another important family. Being nearly as old as ‘Alcina D’, Bernadette would have lived and died generations before Donna and Claudia. So even if B does stand for Beneviento (and it probably doesn’t), it doesn’t add much to Donna’s story.
And on a final note, did anyone else notice that of all the four lords, Donna is the only one who gets called by her first name? Like, Heisenberg is ‘Heisenberg’ even to his mother, brother and sister. I don’t think anyone but the Duke ever says Dimitrescu’s name aloud (let alone calls her ‘Alcina’). But Heisenberg mentions his other two siblings twice, and both times they’re Donna and Moreau. Not Beneviento and Moreau, or Donna and Salvatore: Donna and Moreau.
Now, maybe he’s just lazy (Beneviento is a bit of a mouthful), but while everyone else in the Duke’s spiel is called by their last name, Donna gets to be Donna Beneviento. Naturally, she’s ‘Mistress Donna’ to her gardener too. Possibly Angie is part of the reason ‒ logically, she's a Beneviento too, and we need some way to distinguish the two of them ‒ but it certainly speaks to how she's thought about, by family and by the writers.
No other first name is spoken aloud at all, AFAIK – you have to find Miranda’s experiment reports at the very end of the game to learn Moreau and Heisenberg’s first names (‘Alcina’ is at least written on her diary as well, much earlier on, as well as in Miranda’s separate case notes on experiment 181).
I doubt there’s much significance behind this detail, but it does kind of back up the idea that Donna may be the baby of the family – the youngest in years and the youngest when she was turned. And somehow still the most mysterious, for all that we arguably have more information about her past than any of the other three.
Please don’t take that as suggesting she’s just an innocent little baby, though. There’s a tendency in fandom to portray her as perfectly talkative and functional with the right audience (never mind that she speaks only a few words in the whole game, and canonically preferred to ‘talk’ through her Angie even to the gardener who’d known her since childhood, and who clearly cared for her deeply). Her backstory is tragic as fuck however you fill in the blanks, but all those fucked up murder dolls didn’t come from nowhere.
It's probably a mistake to treat Angie as a separate entity at all, when she's functionally Donna's own alter ego: very plausibly her way of acting out her own childhood trauma, from which she never recovered or matured. And trauma exorcised into a new vessel isn’t trauma that’s gone away.
#Donna Beneviento#Claudia Beneviento#Resident Evil Village#Resident Evil#meta#Resident Evil timeline
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I like how the full timeline of my knowledge of Danganronpa experience is, I saw the YouTube rap battle between Toko and Yuri from Doki Doki Literature Club (which dropped on Aug 28, 2021), I enjoyed it, I watched it many times, and then on some rewatch I thought, "Hey, maybe I should see what Danganronpa's about. Isn't that the game that the Game Grumps have been playing for a WHILE now, when I've been waiting for them to get to Deltarune Chapter 2?" They were already on SDR2 when I first partook in the first one, and if we're keeping up the timeline thing, I know that I hadn't yet gotten through the second game by Feb 6, 2022, because that's when the rap battle between Nagito and Dream was posted, and I had to wait to watch that one until I finished SDR2, so as to avoid spoilers. (But I finished SDR2 long before the Game Grumps did; I watched ProZD's stuff, and JazzyGuns for UDG.)
Meaning I went into Danganronpa knowing nothing except what could be gleaned from the Toko-Yuri rap battle. The only Danganronpa character I knew was Toko (and by extension Syo; I didn't even know about Monokuma), for wrecking Yuri in a rap battle.
After I had finished (watching LP's of) all of the games, I asked everyone in my friend group if they knew anything about Danganronpa, and none of them did. I decided to check in with an old friend from high school who seemed like Danganronpa would be right up her alley, and I discovered (embarrassingly) as soon as I opened Facebook messenger (because I did not have her number) that her most recent message to me was recommending Danganronpa in like 2016 or 2017. Oops. But I still reached out, we talked for a bit.
And I also found out that one of my cousins has played or watched Danganronpa, so he became my main person to reference Danganronpa with.
I don't know what my point is anymore, but pretty wild, right? That hyperfixation hit hard.
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