#(To be fair

[athelind]

Goddamn not even toothpaste is safe  

Not just toothpaste: the toothpaste brand that touts its healthy, all-natural, organic ingredients. The toothpaste brand of people who shop at places Whole Foods, Trader Joe's and Sprouts.

Tom's of Maine toothpaste was manufactured with water containing bacteria, while a "black mold-like substance" was found in a factory where the product was made, according to a warning letter from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Goddamn not even toothpaste is safe  

[indigo-greer-collins]

i am in the redacted fandom

a boyfriend asmr channel

i am also in the epic fandom

a musical based on ancient greek mythology

one of these fandoms is full of angst, pain and suffering about most of the characters. fans will beg for more character deaths, write tragic fanfics and share even more depressing headcanons

the other. really just wants everyone to fuck everyone

and for some reason

the hornier fandom, is not the one where the characters are written to fall in love with you.

[dekariosclan]

Professor Gale Dekarios of Blackstaff Academy: Now, class, I believe I’ve shared with you how I was kidnapped on a Nautiloid, hmm? How I teamed up with a group of adventurers, found the love of my life, saved all of Faerun? And how, through all of that, I still managed to focus on learning whatever new spells were made available to me, even if they required intensive study?

Students: *nodding*

Gale: Excellent. *shuffles papers in his hands, looks down at them, frowns* Then you’ll understand why I’m a tad irritated that half of you couldn’t be bothered to complete your assignments because *squints at papers* ‘your Tressym ate your homework’? *Looks up at class* Truly? That’s the excuse you’ve decided to go with? I myself used to come up with some very creative tales, but I know for a fact that you all do not have Tressyms!

Student: It wasn’t our Tressym that ate it, Professor Dekarios. It was yours.

Gale: …

Gale: *turns to shout over his shoulder* TARA! A WORD PLEASE

[thomas-the-goat-of-satan]

okay. imagine this. you're twenty. you're the highest that you've Ever been. most of the blood in your body has been drained. by a vampire. those are real. you can't move your own body. you're in an extraordinary amount of pain. and!! and. you're face to face with The scariest man in the world. he's super hot. he looks at you and says, "I'm told you've lived a fascinating life!" what do you say in response? nothing?? immediately plead for your life?? cry a little?? well, let me tell you something. that exact scenario happened to my good friend Daniel Molloy, and what HE said was, "...I never said that."

[ckducky]

This one goes out to @a-dauntless-daffodil. They infected me with the hilarious idea that Charlie is jealous of an inanimate object.

[jonnywaistcoat]

You are writing 2 seperate books about the horrors that are held within the london underground system do you have beef

Ah, I see where the confusion is: I've got a two-book contract, the first of which is for a book about the London underground, the second of which is about ????? (haven't fully decided yet). Not saying it's an impossibility that it is also about the underground (god knows I've experienced enough horror down there for two!) but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

[drulalovescas]

Dean Winchester saying I LOVE YOU

Castiel saying I LOVE YOU

[medusas-graveyard]

War knows

Earth, now in danger after the infinite realms waged war against them, is on a time limit to reverse it. The shadows speak of a person; the only person who can change the fate of the whole planet. So the Justice League scramble to find this person, only for it to be revealed as Daniel Fenton-Wayne, the newest adoptee of Bruce Wayne.

The same person who made headlines in Gotham media for his mid-western charm, looked at them blankly and told them good luck.

[frieria]

Jimmy's hiding places in build and seek are genuinely psychological torture. Not because they are particularly hard, people don't spend a lot more time looking for him compared to the others, but because his builds are so empty.

At least when you can't find the others it's easy to explain. Their builds are so full of hiding places, of course it's going to take some time to find the specific one they're hiding in.

This is not something you can think in a Jimmy build. His build has so few places to hide that you can search them all pretty quickly.

But you still haven't found him. There are no obvious places to hide. You go over the whole build again. It takes a short amount of time. You still haven't found him.

Well it can't be that hard. This is a simple build. There's not a lot of places to hide. You have just missed a place. Just pay a bit more attention to your surroundings and you should find it easy enough.

Still you don't find him.

You search in the tall grass and on the bottom of the pool of water. You find another hidey hole but he's not there.

You don't find him.

Maybe one of the holes in the ground lead to a secret passage. You drop into every hole and get stuck in every one.

You don't find him.

His walls are one block wide he can't hide in there but there's nowhere else to hide. There is no way up on the roof. You search behind a trap door and get stuck.

You don't find him.

You drop into the holes again. There could be one you missed with a passage in it. Trying the same thing again will surely yield different results this time.

You don't find him.

He has to be here somewhere. You can hear his voice. It is taunting you. There is nowhere to hide.

There is still nowhere to hide. Perhaps he's not here. Perhaps he's not real. Perhaps none of this is real and this is just purgatory and you're forced to traverse the same small area over and over Sisyphys pushing his boulder

You find him.

He was hele the whole time. His hiding place was in plain view.

Six minutes has passed.

[markscherz]

what's the stupidest/silliest looking frog you know of?

Oh

heck

that's

such

a

great

question

where

do

I

even

start?

[In order of appearance: Glyphoglossus molossus, Myobatrachus gouldii, Choerophryne proboscidea, Nasikabatrachus sahyadrensis, Pipa pipa, Litoria pinocchio, Triprion petasatus, Synapturanus danta, Breviceps verrucosus, Notaden bennettii, Hemisus guttatus, Hemiphractus bubalus]

[wearerandomlyyours]

Ice: *sees shenanigans afoot* Mav, no!

Mav: *From next to Ice* Hey, I'm right here!

Ice: Sorry, habit.

Ice: Slider, no!

[linguistics-and-lesbianism]

mountain goat fans will be like “you gotta listen to this song it makes me so emotional” and then they show you a song about being a possum digging around for garbage

[asukiess]

oooooof. does anyone remember being really young and something happens where. it's the first time you and friend's relationship changes. maybe it was your first awful fight together and you decide to make up, but it's terse and you don't talk like you used to and it's almost imperceptible but it's there, that demarcation line.

it's really, really interesting to me that Kagami decides to go along with her lie. it does not seem to be without some sort of consequence

anyway. similar vibes. additionally, wonderful parallel to the Protection scene where it was Adrien and Marinette comforting Kagami---now, it's Marinette who is the odd one out.

[a-great-tragedy]

I may have the social skills of Regulus Black with none of the talent, but at least I took swimming lessons as a kid

[claypigeonpottery]

I feel I must share this as it has to do with my namesake

Scout’s little face!

she’s a fierce pigeon, and she would destroy us if her beak wasn’t so cute and useless