#(There was a logical progression of events so I went for it)

[bygonearchive]

Self aware anaxa (or any of the amphoreus cast at this point), and how he'd likely have a very different experience becoming aware post 3.2 has been all I can think about recently. This is more of a warm-up/ drabble with the idea before I flesh it out more. Just trying to find a way I feel comfortable writing him at the moment.

Masterlist

He was dead, that much he could be sure of. His plan to fuse his soul with the titan Cerces to become the titan in the next cycle was successful; he had felt his body dissolve and had dropped the core flame into the vortex of Genesis. 

So, how was he here? 

No matter, as the demised scholar Anaxagoras, time is the only thing preventing him from knowing the truth. 

Ultimately, every time he made any progress in finding out what was happening some other odd trait about his current predicament made itself aware. It started small, music playing as he was going about amphoreus, the area around him pausing here and there, barely noticeable.

Then the events started to escalate, he discovered that he couldn't speak to anyone. In fact, whenever he went to try he had the intriguing yet infuriating feeling of being absent from reality for the conversation made itself apparent, the sensation of not being in full control of his body at times eventually growing to all of the time and then there was the fight against Aquila. 

That seemed to act as the catalyst for these strange phenomena, as everything intensified afterwards. Shortly after the conclusion of the fight… 

He was no longer on Amphoreus. 

He didn't have control of his body, fights were taking turns, chests were littered behind puzzles, it was like he was skipping around in time and visiting events and battles that should have long since passed. 

It was as if someone was playing a game.

It was as if someone was playing a game.

And suddenly that hypothesis made sense. Rooting itself in the professor's mind, all he needed now was proof. Proof that there was a player. Then he could work on a method to make himself real, to gain power over his new reality. This new truth. 

Naturally, he met or rather interacted with you, shortly after this revelation. It didn't immediately click that you were the player, the person for whom he was essentially a glorified puppet, but it did in time. 

He didn't intend to fall for you. 

Of course, he hadn’t yet, no matter how purely logical he tries to be. Well. Don’t romance and reason go hand in hand, he shouldn’t feel ashamed to embrace such feelings. 

Try as he might, he couldn’t catch your attention no matter what actions he took. Triggering voice lines where and when he shouldn’t be able to; wrenching control back for the briefest of moments; sneaking extra rewards into your inbox, no jades of course, he couldn’t be too obvious for his safety; and even sending more in game messages than he was scripted with, given half of them are obscured behind anonymous icons. All for nought as you simply dismissed it all as glitches or simply lag from whatever device you were using to run it. 

It drove him insane. Bit by bit, denial after denial of his existence, you weren't questioning any of it. But fine. That's fine. He'll just have to work harder. 

The actions he takes get more prominent, more daring. It's not a simple matter of clueing you into it anymore, he has to prove his existence to you now. It's not something the professor is entirely used to, usually proving his own theorems to himself, others are rarely worth his time. 

One day he decides to clear out the rest of the team you'd assigned him to, hoping that if you logged in to him and only him then something might finally register. It succeeds in a way, gaining him a panicked logout from you when you noticed how every character other than Anaxagoras was knocked out. 

Progress. 

Small, but there. Tangible, real. He'd make you fall for - see him, in time. 

It’s no longer something in short supply now that he'd already fulfilled his position in the plot.

[coffeegnomee]

Devotions though, I'm back thinking about Spoke's video. When Spoke told them he was scripting the dupe war with parrot: Zam's devastating "it's scripted" filled with all the disappointment, sorrow, betrayal, devastation that those two words could be filled with.

Mapicc's "I'd rather be banned than this be scripted".

This is why they're them. This is why everyone looks at them with a healthy little bit of fear, unsure what move they will make. (Zy's post about mapicc got me thinking about this.)

Bc imo it's this. This pure and purified distain for scripting.

Mapicc will exploit/cheat/go too far/murder before questions to stop a scripted story: to stop someone from dominating a story with their own plan without getting the input from the team. He will do that sporadic shit if it makes sense to him. And it really only has to make sense to him. Your script be damned.

Zam's incessant figure-it-out-as-he-goes mentality towards the story. Staying consistent with the character but always reassessing, always rethinking, always being moved by the narrative that others present.

It makes both of them incredibly consistent but also incredibly erratic for the other members.

And especially with like mawn, mapicc just going for the plan with no plan just an outline maybe. taking the conversations, making assumptions, doing things and seeing what happens. And then he gets blindsided by this mentality from zam as well where he thought zam would join or oppose but zam just chose.. sitting out. And for reasons that made perfect sense to himself.

fuck it, i'll write it in this post: both have this very particular way of making videos on lifesteal.

There's two general categories of lifesteal videos:

get the idea to happen on the server and the video is about making it happen, culminating in the success. Generally they go until they make it happen no matter how long it takes.

have an idea at the start the video, and see where it goes, ending wherever makes sense.

Devotions hit that second category more often than not. Mapicc still does the first occasionally, but mawn is a great example of it. The oath is another. The joker, abyss, castle (from both sides), even dupe war from their pov. The dupe was already a sure thing when they started the video, what progressed was what they did with it.

They both so fully embrace the wildness that is unscripted mcrp in a way that goes beyond a lot of the members, even as, obv, unscripted is the law of lifesteal.

Cause like, wormhole is a fantastic example of the first. And the "problem" (difficulty) with it is you don't really have a video if it never happens. So you veer closer and closer to making it happen at any cost.

It's also interesting to think of Leo's trapping Flame video as the first, especially as, for that type of video, his first traps had to fail for the video's progression, but then it got out of hand and he went for the void and an end crystal used in dubiously illegal ways. But the video could not end until Flame died.

Flame's 10v1 is another example of the first. And mapicc went *nope* and objected to Flame thinking it would be that easy to force the server around when it got a little difficult (planning is difficult).

I love both categories fr. but its so interesting to look at the videos and the server because on so many levels, the narrative that bounces around the members is "if I can figure out the video idea, i get what they're doing", which works perfectly for the first, but with the second, and we've literally seen this so much with s5, with the second it's like, okay I get the video idea; why are you still doing it. And the reasoning is so much more hidden and not understood from the outside even though from the inside it's the most logical and obvious series of events.

And what is most fun is how the death star was 1 and then became 2. And the second it shifted from "i will make a death star" into "we made a death star and it didn't work: what next?" was precisely the moment Mane could not understand why Minute would take the 1v1. Because this type of video is not about the results, it's about the journey. It's about standing up for what you believe in. It's about seeing how people react.

And all of that leads to a player who is confusing and unknown and a little bit scary. Who might just end the world, or maybe just your world.

[simpxxstan]

hi i would like to req cheol x fem!reader with the song you are in love by taylor swift. thank you!

congrats on 500 followers btw 🫶🏼

this is part of my 550 followers celebration event (closed now)!

thank you for this request, really hoping you like it! i'm not a swiftie so i was unsure of how to interpret the song prompt. hope i did it justice! posting very very late, thank you for being patient for so long <3 happy bday month to cheollie!!! i love him so much and this couple too. i think i might write a few more drabbles for them later lol

genre: coworkers to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff

word count: 3.3k words

warnings: reader is fwb with an oc (not seungcheol).

"you are in love!" your best friend says. "yeah, i know." you sigh, "that's why i've been ranting for so-" "no, silly! not with jay. you're in love with seungcheol!" you had laughed off her words, wondering if she'd become tipsy way too fast into your girls' night.

but when you're lying in your bed later that night, the thought lingers in your mind- the alcohol clearing up and making you progressively more sober as the cold air from the open window hits you, while your friend snores soundly next to you.

"think about it." "i am thinking ab-" "no, you've never really thought about this before. think about it clearly." you'd laughed heartily at her faux-wisdom, which always appeared after finishing two cans of beer.

but she's right. you have actually never thought about this. you've been so obsessed with getting jay to like you that you've never really given a second thought about seungcheol... and what he really means to you now.

"i'd expect more from a stats major and a data analyst, honestly. aren't you supposed to be logical and rigorous-" you slap her arm while doubling over with laughter, knowing full well that she's imitating the words of an infamous professor in your college. "i am being logical. we're just coworkers."

were you?

now that you think about it, certainly not. you're more than coworkers. more like friends. more like best friends. in fact, he's the closest friend you've made since your days in college. just coworkers don't buy each other their favourite drinks when the other has a bad day. just coworkers don't hang out for hours after work nearly every other day. just coworkers don't invite each other to parties with their separate friend groups. just coworkers don't have inside jokes that prevent you from forming friends with anyone else in the office.

your mind travels back to last thursday, when seungcheol had saved your ass for the nineteenth time this year when you'd arrived late by preventing the boss from noticing.

and the thursday before that, when seungcheol had dropped you home after he'd found out that jay had made you cry during an argument in the break room just before work got over.

and the thursday before that, when you'd gone with seungcheol to taste the menu at three different banquets because he was busy planning the wedding of his best friend, joshua, and needed an unbiased taster.

did just coworkers know everything about each other? including his dentist appointment's dates, the last time you went grocery shopping, the last time he went to watch a movie, the vitamin supplements you eat after breakfast, and so much more.

you smile in the darkness. no, you and seungcheol could never be just coworkers. you're best friends, nothing less of that.

but love?

ah, no. you'll bet your life on this one. you've been in love before. and what you feel for seungcheol is nothing like it.

_

your heart hammers in your chest as you ring the doorbell again, the weight of the melting cake heavy in your hand. you distinctly remember jay telling you that he'd be home tonight, then why wasn't he responding to his calls nor opening his door?

you're answered about twenty minutes later. you're sitting on the stairs in front of his flat when you hear him walking up the stairs... and there's someone else's voice too. a female voice.

"y/n?"

words get caught in your throat when you see mina, the new intern fresh out of a college, walking right beside him, arm looped in his, a hickey prominent on her neck, freshly bruised.

"why are you here?" she asks you, and you wince.

"i wanted to surprise you... for your birthday! sorry, i- i didn't know you had plans."

jay smiles as he looks at mina next to him, and pulls her closer. "no, mina actually surprised me too. and we went out dancing. sorry, have you been waiting for long? you should've call-"

"i did."

jay pulls out his phone and checks it. "oh shucks. you've been calling for the last twenty minutes," he takes a step forward and leans in to kiss your cheek, lightly. "you can join us for dinner? i'm sure mina won't mind." mina definitely minds, because she looks like she's going to shoot you down in a matter of seconds.

"nah, i'll just leave. happy birthday though. i can see you had a good one." would you be petty if you didn't give him the cake?

"sorry for making you wait for so long, y/n-ah."

one year and four months.

"no worries, man. enjoy your night. bye mina!" and you smile, like the stupid people-pleaser you are. at least you brought the cake with you.

_

"what's up?" seungcheol opens the door and you smell the heavenly aroma of fried noodles from his kitchen greet you.

"thank you for opening the door."

seungcheol raises an eyebrow at you. "why would i not open the door? you're literally-"

"yeah no, that's cause jay didn't. he went out with mina, it turns out." you stuff the cake into his fridge and stand next to him where he's cooking in a wok.

"mina? intern mina?"

"yeah. they made out too... so i'm guessing it wasn't friendly."

seungcheol scoffs. "mina joined, like, last week."

"two weeks."

"he switched you up for her although he's been with you for a year and a half."

"she's twenty-two, cheol. i'm pushing thirty. i'm not sexy anymore." you bite your lip as you look at the word puzzle in the newspaper on the coffee table. seungcheol doesn't reply immediately, so your heart sinks a little further. even if he doesn't subjectively find you sexy, he could just say it to console you. well, but it's a stretch to even expect that from-

"you're the sexiest woman i've ever met." seungcheol says, his voice softer, as he plops down next to you, holding two bowls filled with the fried noodles. he begins to eat wordlessly, legs propped up on the coffee table, almost inhaling the food. if you move your leg a little, your bodies would touch.

you don't reply. you can't reply. you start eating the food too, relishing the flavours in silence.

"want some more? there's more egg bits towards the bottom, i know you-"

"it doesn't matter if you think i'm the sexiest woman. clearly he doesn't."

"is jay the only person whose opinion matters?"

"are you really asking me that?"

"what i am asking you is that you've wasted one year and a half pining over a man who doesn't care for anything more than sex, and you still hope he's worth your time?"

your breath stutters. seungcheol's staring at you, and you feel shameful and self-conscious suddenly. all the fire and rage from your earlier comments dissipate and you sigh.

"you think i don't have a chance at all?"

"jay is an asshole, y/n. i think that you shouldn't care about him at all. but that's just what i think. my opinion doesn't ma-"

"shut the fuck up," you extend a hand to grab his wrist and make him look at you again.

seungcheol does look at you again but doesn't say anything.

"my best friend says i like you."

seungcheol's fork clatters in his bowl and you both turn to look at each other.

you have no idea why you say that. sure, it's been on your mind all day, all evening, and suddenly you feel like you're on your toes around him through the day. even when you two sat together at work, you'd become oddly conscious of his presence in your periphery, which has never occurred to you before.

"do you?"

and you have no idea why he says it either. in all the million possible options of things he could've said right now, you'd never imagined him asking this to you right on your face.

so you have nothing to say, except a very shaky, a very feeble, "i don't know."

_

the next day, two things happen.

first, seungcheol isn't talking to you. well, he is talking. but not properly. talking like could you press the elevator button or do you want some grapes or did you read the mail.

second, jay's talking to you a lot. he follows you into the break room and apologises again for standing you up on his birthday night.

"it's okay really. i hope you had a wonderful time with mina." you don't make eye contact, not really interested in listening to his whining, instead more focused on making the espresso you know that seungcheol craves during the afternoon.

"i... just wanted to clarify. there's nothing between us, you know. nothing going on." "you don't have to clarify that to me-" "i know. but still. wanted to know if it's all good between us." you push your tongue into your cheek to stop a curse from coming out. finally you pick up the two mugs of coffee and face him. "yes jay, all's good." jay smiles widely. "so are we on for the annual company dinner for this weekend?"

shit. you'd forgotten about that.

"umm-"

"but we go every year!" and jay throws you those puppy eyes that bring out the wrinkles next to his eyes that were the first reason you'd fallen for him.

it, surprisingly, doesn't make you feel weak in the knees.

"i'll confirm by tonight, okay? gotta go."

you head straight to seungcheol's desk and put down the cup of coffee on his desk, making him look up from his desktop.

"do you have a plus one for the company dinner?"

his eyes widen, and he responds after a moment's pause. "no. but-"

"will you come with me?"

"what?"

"will you be my plus one?"

"but you're going with jay?"

"who told you that?"

"you did, genius. that's all you could talk about on monday."

you cringe internally. you don't even know why you do that- talking so much about jay, thinking so much about jay, just... caring so much for him. is it a parasocial thing? like people crush on their celebrities and make imaginary daydreams about taking care of their crushes? because jay certainly hasn't recicprocated even a tenth of your affection.

or maybe it's because of the sex. it is natural for friends with benefits to end up liking each other. well, in your case, liking the other without the other liking you. perhaps it's the physical intimacy. perhaps it's the consolation that you may be pushing thirty but you're still attractive enough to be on the market. perhaps it's the attention he gives you during your hookups. and perhaps it's the lack of attention from anyon-

wait.

you don't have a lack of attention. you have friends.

so it's not the attention bit.

is it specifically male attention?

but seungcheol is male. and he gives you a lot of attention, but only as a friend. you may be the sexiest woman he's ever met but he would never hook up with you. he's way out of your league.

"i don't want to go with jay." you finally respond back, clicking your tongue.

"huh? isn't that like your dream?"

"seungcheol. don't push it."

"i'm the one pushing it? i tell you not to like him, and you're mad at me. i tell you to like him, and you're still mad at me. what am i supposed to say, y/n?" and he pouts. fucking pouts at you like a little boy who's not allowed to eat sweets, and your heart breaks into a million pieces. you know he's not even trying to fake his cuteness (like jay does sometimes) and yet there's something so adorable about him right now that makes you want to-

fuck.

"just answer me, cheol. please. yes or no?"

"when have i ever said no to you?"

your mouth twists as you nod. he hasn't. ever said no to you.

"i'll tell jay i'll be going with you then."

you turn around to walk away, but seungcheol pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up close to his chest so that you have to tilt your head up to talk to him. "what?"

"is this some let's make jay jealous mission?"

"what?!" your eyes go wide and you scoff.

"of course NOT. what do you think i am? i'm not that desperate."

seungcheol sighs.

"whatever you say, darling."

_

seungcheol looks as good as ever when he comes around to pick you up and drive you to the company dinner that weekend.

"red suits you," he says, taking in the dress you've brought out from your mother's closet specially for this event. this dress is made to impress. it's the dress your mom wore at the party where she met your dad for the first time, and you've heard from dad countless times how enchanting she looked in the dress. you're hoping you'll do the dress half the justice, but clearly you haven't inherited your mother's body proportions, so it doesn't look as good as it did on her. and yet, the plunging sweetheart neckline allows you to wear pretty accessories that you hardly get to wear to work. it is really a dress to impress. somehow, something inside you wants to impress.... someone. and for some reason, you don't think it's jay.

the car ride is silent. it's extremely uncomfortable because you don't remember the last time you spent ten minutes in the same space as seungcheol without talking to him. you knew you shouldn't have raised the my friend thinks i like you shit. but you've raised it and now you can't go back. his question still lingers in your mind, and it feels like a challenge.

do you like him?

when you look at him in the moonlight, his jawline is shaved clean and his hair is slicked off his forehead. it's not like you've never realised before this how handsome seungcheol is. in fact, it was the one of the first things you'd noticed about him. he's got an aura about him that's so attractive from the outside. but as you grew closer to him, the attraction somewhat wore off into a casual comfort... where you can exist in the same space with him without double taking at his beautiful smile or wondering why his dimples are so cute.

but that's not to say that his appeal is lost on you.

under the moonlight, he looks godly.

''i heard jay's going with mina." he finally tells you when he parks into the parking lot.

"good for them." he looks at you and cocks an eyebrow, and you shrug.

you're about to open the door and step out, but he quickly grabs your hand across the car, and pulls you inside.

"umm. y/n, i don't know what you're doing. but i- whatever i said that day- look, i don't like jay because i think he's rude to you? but apart from that i'm sure he's a great guy and you should like him if you want to. and i have no right to say anything about it-"

"what?" you're so confused by his little monologue.

"sorry i'm saying this poorly. what i mean is, please don't let what i said that night make you avoid jay or anything."

"this isn't about that."

"it's not?" he tilts his head in query.

"no. this isn't about how i feel about jay."

"it's not?" he asks you again, his face more confused. you're tempted to smile at the cute confusion on his features, but you know it'll make him mad for spoiling this serious moment.

"this is about how i feel about you."

_

seungcheol does not utter any more words to you after that. there's still a very prominent confusion on his face, but he masks it well with his natural charm.

but you're not confused at all for once. everything seems to become clear to you with 100% HD clarity. for some reason, it all makes sense now. why your best friend thinks you're in love with seungcheol.

because you've never been in love before.

you've always fallen for the toxic type of person, like jay. relationships that are more about hookups and drunken fights than emotional bonds and care. and your past experience has made you feel that love is nothing smooth. it's always been a rocky path for you. push and pull, where you're both pushed around and pulled to meet to other's conveniences.

but being with seungcheol is so... different.

there's no loneliness. no push and pull, no compromise. only laughter and memories. he makes you smile you more than any of your love interests have made you smile. he makes you laugh ever so often. he takes care of you when you're sick. he cooks for you whenever he comes over because you can't cook to save your life. he wrote you a birthday card. he bought matching t-shirts from a thrift store because you both happened to like the design. right now, when you see the way he's talking to another colleague, his pretty lips articulating every word clearly, your heart warms with fondness. a stray hair sticks out, and you fix it back. he doesn't notice. or he pretends not to. when jay comes around within your periphery, he pulls you closer, and you can't help but smile again. something about everything he does is so endearing.

it's not a eureka moment.

and yet, it feels good to feel love for real for the first time of your life. you can die tonight happily, knowing you're capable of real love. because you know you do love seungcheol. for all his pouty tantrums and all his whining complaints, you love him the most in the world right now, and you simply cannot imagine choosing a life without him.

"do you want to dance?"

seungcheol's been deliberately avoiding eye contact, but now he looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights.

"no."

you giggle at the sudden reply. "why?" his frown deepens, and you tug at his lips with your fingers. "you don't look good when you frown." "it doesn't matter." "it does." "no one's looking at me." "no one's looking at me either." "shut up. jay's boring holes into your dress with the way he's ogling you." seungcheol's face flares up, and you're mildly amused. "and what about the boy i want to ogle?" "huh?" "you. you're so handsome, cheol." his eyes unfocus from jay and back at you, his eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

"what are you doing, y/n? why are you playing with my heart?"

"i'm not, though? i'm just telling you how i feel."

"and how's that?"

"i feel like dancing with you under the moonlight. i feel like going on a long drive with you. i feel like hugging you on the warmth of your couch until we fall asleep. i've never done these things, seungcheol, will you come with me?"

"never danced? fuck, you're not being treated right."

and he shows you. he takes you to the centre of the hall area, where the roof's glass so that it's slightly isolated from the result of the expanse, and the moonlight's shining in like a spotlight. there are only a few people dancing there, mostly couples. but seungcheol and you dance at the very centre, lost in each other's eyes, forgetting that this is a public place. it doesn't matter. nothing does. except him.

you are in love, your best friend's voice floats into your mind. and you smile as you look into seungcheol's eyes, realising she was right all along.

so you tell him.

"i love you, cheol."

seungcheol stutters in his step for a second. but it doesn't matter. your pace was anyway too slow. he pulls you closer against his chest, and cups your cheek with one hand. "what's that?"

"i told you this night's about you. and i've realised it now. i am in love."

and when seungcheol kisses you later that night, you're downright thankful you've finally realised your feelings. because how did you ever think you'd survive without his cherry kisses?

[someacedude]

I recently re-watched season 1-3 + about half of season 4 (I will re-watch the rest in getting there) of How to Train Your Dragan; Race to the Edge and I have thoughts. So here they are in no particular order.

~ They reference events from Riders and Defenders of Berk more than I thought. I noticed this because I was watching with 3 friends and one of them had never seen either and another had seen Defenders but not Riders.

~ The twins are so iconic I will be quoting them for the foreseeable future.

~ It is very clear that seasons 1-2 were them finding their footing with the show/testing the waters. Seasons 3-4 were more story driven and where they probably thought it would end giving how the season 4 finale went, technically a solid ending but still open enough they could continue it. Seasons 5-6 the true finale perfectly connecting to the second movie whilst still bringing the show to a satisfying end.

~ Character Development!!! Dagur specifically his redemption arc feels believable, and his and Heather's relationship changing and progressing is amazing.

~ The dragons are just really cool. They managed to introduce a bunch of new ones while still keeping the classics relevant.

~ Chicken

~ Them constantly inventing/referencing modern things like sunglasses, diving gear, Stockholm syndrome, popcorn and many more is so silly and great for the world building.

~ Johann was the perfect twist villain. He'd been around for so long, quite often an inconvenience but also had his helpful moments. He was around enough but not too much, it made logical sense for him to be involved while not obvious. Also the Trader to Traitor thing is just the cherry on top.

~ I might be projecting but Dagur was like 100% flirting with half the people he talked to. Mainly Hiccup.

~ Gober vs Ryker during the dragon auction episode is amazing. So is Stoic just decking Ryker in Hiccup's bounty episode

Definitely not all my thoughts and I'm sure I'll have more as I re-watch the rest.

[highly-flammable]

Do you think Peeta mostly recovers his core self and core qualities that the hijacking tried to strip away?

Well, he still had his core values, as clearly demonstrated during the mission in the Capitol (he was upset that he killed someone during his episode, wanted to die rather than bring more danger to the squad, was trying to be kind to Pollux, gave logical inputs when Katniss tried to plan to draw out Snow, wanted to go out into the Capitol undercover instead of hiding in Tigris’ basement, etc). He had his memories from the first 16 years of his life as well. I think the memories that were targeted were events with Katniss that were on footage. Aside from that he had a private life, one which Katniss was part of (they spent a lot of time together and he was even confused about those memories as mentioned in MJ).

While trauma can change you, and it certainly did for Peeta, I don’t think the hijacking could really take away who he was deep down. The thing about hijacked Peeta is, he was mainly just extremely afraid, primarily of Katniss. A lot of his anger and hatred came from that. Plus he had been physically abused a lot, that will also leave its negative impacts on someone’s mind. He was also still righteously angry about everything the Capitol did and part of the hijacking was to make Katniss look like a Capitol mutt to him. But we see that he was still capable of being gentle (being nice towards Annie in District 13 cafeteria), and he was still in touch with his artistic side (the wedding cake for Finnick and Annie). And then since he made newer memories with Katniss during the mission (not good memories but memories that counterbalance the negative, fearful view he had of her), I think by the time they went off to the city circle, he was fairly at peace with the idea of her, even though he had so many messed up memories (I’m sure the real or not real game helped a little, especially the bit where Katniss told him all the little things about himself, which is a clear proof that she genuinely cared about him). This is demonstrated by the fact that he saved her life multiple times during the mission and didn’t recoil when she touched him (the time when she tries to put him to sleep by stroking his hair, the kiss, her bandaging his wrists, the farewell hug). It’s also entirely possible Peeta was the one who managed to follow her to the city circle and help her during the bombing because he was one of the only people who knew her disguise, and he was later in the burn unit too.

The biggest proof that Peeta, in spite of everything he went through, was still Peeta, is this: he immediately shot down the idea of a Hunger Games with the Capitol kids. His values were still intact. He was appalled that Haymitch would agree to it, and furiously confronted him in front of everyone, calling it an atrocity that Haymitch was going to be party to. Even with everything that he was subjected to by the Capitol - being in two Hunger Games, losing his leg, losing his entire family, being tortured and brainwashed to the point of utter brokenness - he still did not want mindless revenge and a spectacle normalizing the things the Capitol used to do, in the name of giving them a taste of their own medicine.

And after Katniss killed Coin, he immediately stopped her from ingesting the nightlock pill, saying he couldn’t let her go, proving pretty damn well that he loved her. Then after his treatment had progressed enough that he could return to district 12, he went back there, and made the very sensitive gesture of planting primroses around Katniss’ house in memory of Prim (btw he was doing this at dawn, the day after he was allowed to leave the Capitol, so it was basically one of the first things he decided to do after getting home). Then he and Katniss and Haymitch just lived their lives, they did their thing, made their memory book, Peeta and Katniss actually got together and had kids eventually. And those kids clearly were growing up happy, because while they knew their parents had some trouble being relaxed (Peeta’s flashbacks maybe and Katniss’ nightmares), they were well-fed, cheerful kids. Peeta even comforted Katniss when she expressed her worry about telling the children about their role in the Hunger Games and rebellion, and this was what he said: they could make the children understand in a way that will make them braver. That very much sounds like the considerate, quietly optimistic, mature character we know and love.

So Peeta was alright in the end. All that torture and brainwashing still couldn’t take away the values that he had, and this is why he is one of my favourite characters ever.

[mirrorbird]

okay so there's this little indie title called baldur's gate 3

and there's a challenge someone slapped onto a graphic and insisted was a "new trend" called the "frodo challenge"

this is not a "trend" any more than any of the other challenges/trick runs/bits people have been doing, but it intrigued me. because I am a turn-based gamer in my blood and have been known to do a bit. so I rolled up Mister Frodo.

level 1 rogue, no mods, stats built specifically around keeping him as alive as possible within that VERY, VERY LIMITED framework (i.e. Dex and Con). My boy has 10 hp. Until I get some late-game equipment, he will never have more than 10 hp.

(This is going to become a problem.)

and one more fun little narrative/mechanical twist: what is the corruption of the One Ring, I thought, if not a Dark Urge? (this makes sense logically but also has a real and practical purpose: only the Durge has access to the cloak that makes you invisible and I need it so fucking bad)

Now, for Da Rules. I'm doing very slight deviations: 1. I am on Honour Ruleset but not in Honour Mode, meaning that I do get to save and reload--though I will be at least NOTING if and when Mister Frodo dies 2. While the only weapon Frodo may attack with is a shortsword, he is allowed to: a. throw small objects (is there anything more hobbit than throwing a rock) and b. have other weapons equipped (because surely at some point someone said, here, Frodo, hold this). I have Taken Steps to ensure I don't accidentally attack with the bow that's giving him a passive initiative buff please I really need this.

(that side of the bar is usually closed.) I'm interpreting "never separate" to be "never out of combat range" (so, included in initiative) and "takes at least one combat-relevant action per combat" (my boy is chucking a lot of potions, but he's also last-hit several things with a rock). We're going to see how this gets when I have large AOEs to contend with (I'm still working out how I'm gonna tackle Grym). Currently I'm also keeping the Magic Ring equipped (meaning I'm down a slot), but since Frodo doesn't constantly wear it I'll probably swap it out. He'll put it on occasionally, and it will always be in his inventory. Early levels aren't too scary (except in the normal Honour Mode ways) , so I've been running around saving every tiefling (the only non-evil-ending achievement I STILL DON'T HAVE) and knocking Minthara out and stealing her armor (and then triggering the raid ANYWAY to which she arrives in the nude like a FUCKING queen (I actually had to reset my run after this because I'd hit a weird bug but I went through the exact same progression of events, because fighting nude Minthara is a canon event)). so now I need to start dealing with Githyanki! cheers!! p.s. fun fact: if you awaken in the middle of the night with the blood of a traveling dragonborn bard on your hands and in a ritual circle at camp, BUT a cute dog arrives the same morning, this will never be spoken of again! So everything's cool!!

[thespianinthebackcorner]

It's interesting to me that movie tails is so... Static.

I mean, a very early part of his arc (that a lot of people don't notice because he's such a familiar character now) is that the reason he goes by "tails" and is okay with that is because Sonic taught him to be proud of himself instead of submitting to all the shit he took. His character arc has always been about accepting yourself for who you are, hence why he goes by the nickname even after it was pretty blatantly stated he was bullied and even forced out of home because of that second tail.

In the games, that makes him really dynamic, because while he picks up on being proud of his tails pretty quickly, he spends a little more time learning to perfect his machine-building craft, and iirc just as a whole he doesn't have a lot of self confidence in other aspects throughout the earlier games. That makes him what we call a "dynamic" character, who grows and changes as the story progresses. Remember how I said Movie Tails was "static"? That's the opposite term, a character that doesn't change much. You might not think Game Tails is that dynamic, but he very much is- Frontiers proves that our little Miles has been growing up on the sidelines outside of the camera's eyes, as he pretty well outright states there that he feels like he's growing out of that "little-brother" role he takes and wants to try going his own way for a while.

By all that logic, in the movies he wouldn't have been comfortable at all going by the nickname before sonic, and yet he introduces himself with it. But on the other hand, he also outright states like five minutes later that he still went through the same harassment he did in the games, stating that he didn't have any friends (not that he didn't have "many"- he didn't have "any", specifically).

So in the end, Movie Tails' (Movie Miles?) entire character arc essentially happens out of view of the entire franchise- it's his weird little stalker shit (affectionate) that he pulls that kickstarts and finishes his arc before he even meets sonic for real, because just watching the events of the first movie ended up being that push that he needed to bolster his self-confidence and take a bit more pride in who he is- to the point where he teaches himself fly and, from the looks of things, builds himself a little (probably underground) base that he keeps all his tech in (which, by the way, I wonder what he did with. There's no way he left all that shit there, right??? Did he go back and get some between 2 and 3? I have no idea).

To that end, he's already figured his shit out by the time Sonic 2 happens, meaning he's largely static within the SCU. Which isn't a problem, per se- static characters are necessary to let the dynamic ones really thrive in their spotlights- I'm just interested that they didn't take the time to develop Tails outside the movie or even just a bit more within 2 (although I understand not giving him development in movie 2 because there was so much that needed to happen there, someone had to get sidelined). I have a running theory that Amy is from the same village as Tails (although I'm also theorizing it's all the same planet they're from, minus Shadow, and they just don't know it), so if that comes true he might maybe get some development in 4- but 4 already looks like it might have two running plots (sonamy bullshit and metal bullshit) so who knows. I may just have to pray for a Miles Prower series and/or development somewhere else.

Anyway, that's it from me today. <3 have a nice day

[kewpikayo]

"Partners...?" Human Alastor x Reader

Chapter 2: WC: 5,109

I dedicate this second chapter to the sweet @ritualofcirice, the exquisite @lumikello24, the utterly superb @fraugwinska and the fantastic @macabr3-barbi3 . Thank you all so much for making this event such a pleasure to be a part of. Hope you enjoy part two!!

Here's Chapter 1: Team Player.

your at Chapter 2: Left Hanging.

here's Chapter 3: Burning Alive. Warnings & Tags: Violence, typical bloodshed associated with Hazbin hotel and Dead by Daylight. Alastor still being a little shit, etc. death of minor characters

Multiple hours passed until mid morning became late afternoon as the sun was continuously locked away in the realm of mist and shadow.

At least the darkness provided ample cover for further protection, but it was terrible to navigate the necessary equipment needed to fix the machines. Luckily, you had a miniature flashlight from your time pilfering through stray boxes. It was currently held under your chin to create a steady light source for your tedious task.

Despite your unfortunate hooking accident and the pain it still caused you, your progress with the generators had gone rather smoothly. You had somehow managed to get three out of the five generators up to working condition; plus or minus the few instances when hiding in a locker or behind brush became necessary. 

For the most part, your partner seemed to be carrying out his delegated task quite well. At least that’s what you assumed. You hadn’t heard from him in hours, but the looming threat of capture or death had somehow lessened in severity. It had been quiet…

Maybe striking a last minute deal with that strange, smiling guy was the best rash decision you had ever made .

As your bloody, oil soaked hands worked meticulously, your mind strayed to less demanding thoughts.

The asshole of a stranger, Alastor, was unbearable to say the least. His sharp wit was easily comparable to the nice, bloody blade he had acquired when he chose to ignore you. The insufferable bastard didn’t even bother to ask if you were okay or needed help, but just decided to leave you hanging. Literally.

Regardless of his initial purposeful ignorance of your person, perhaps you made the decision to reach out to him not only out of necessity, but also for the sole reason that he looked like the type to have his shit together. 

You remembered the dark man stood tall with obvious pride in the presentation he held for himself. It was as if he was opulently adorned in only the best of linens. He was a bit too pompous for your tastes, but you had to admit the man did have pretty privilege. Alastor was indeed a looker. 

Surprisingly, no blood was to be seen on him and his smile had never left his face even when he had seemed cross with you. It was a peculiar habit. There was just something about that grin of his and how it continually cast a supernatural glow to his warm skin. It was almost as if it was glued or stitched to his features permanently. It was creepy; and you hated how effortlessly charming it was.

His eyes spoke of a different tale, however. They were dauntless and expressive; amber jewels that were attuned to his face in unwavering self assurance hidden behind gentle, dark curls. It was obvious he was of the calculating, intellectual sort. Maybe that was why you felt comfortable enough to beg him to help you. You were assured he had a plan brewing under that steadfast grin, and you wanted in on whatever strategic formulation his mind deemed worthy to conduct.

He was a survivor, a victor, and you had always liked being a part of the winning team. Acquiring a partnership with another like minded, capable individual was only the most logical step forward. Anyone within their right mind would’ve done so.

Wiping your brow of the sweat that accumulated under the ball cap you donned, you went back into an intense focus. There was no time to daydream. How much time had you lost already? You didn’t know, but you did know too many valuable minutes had already passed you by. It was one moment too many to risk doing so a second time.

Rewiring your focus, the specific cable in your grasp was of the stubborn sort; unwilling to bend to the plan you had for it with a burning passion. 

You readjusted the flashlight underneath your chin and moved closer to have a better look, wincing when the twinge in your shoulder wouldn’t go away. You cursed to yourself, frustration dripping into your vocabulary.

“Havin’ a wrench would’ve made this a helluva lot easier…Dammit…Just connect, you stupid wires…It literally isn’t that hard…It’s not rocket science!”

As if a resistant response to your furious words, sparks flew into your face with a loud, rambunctious pop. You jolted backwards with a colorful curse, a sting in your fingertips. The light and sound startled you; and with a wince your expression contorted into a deeper scowl due to the pain.

“Shit!”

Waving your hand, a harsh hiss escaped from under your breath as your fingers were brought to your lips. You bit back the pain, shutting your eyes and blinking back tears as the taste of blood and oil flooded over your tongue. The blackest smoke quickly bellowed into your vision as the bold smell of gasoline was the only scent available to you. It was to the point that any oxygen had been snuffed out and made breathing an even greater hardship. 

You stifled multiple coughs. The force of each constricted your chest painfully; each spasm threatening the contents of your stomach to make an unsightly appearance. Too enraptured in retaining air, you failed to hear the soft snap of a twig behind you.

However, upon calming down from the attack on your lungs, the feeling of wind and metal brushing against your ear rivaled the active popping of the nearby generator.

You were left stunned as you stared at the butcher knife lodged in the wooden pallet next to your head. Raising a tentative hand, you brushed your fingers against the edge of your ear and hissed when you felt the sting and the promise of blood. 

Another knife launched itself into the wood again, landing closer to your head this time.

If the first knife didn’t get your attention, then that one certainly did.

You whipped your head to look behind you, beholding an ominous figure in a vibrant trench coat. The fog swirling around the marsh mixed in with his clothing to the point it was hard to make out who it was, but the shadow looming over you was so profound that the fear the sight instilled held you firmly in place.

That was until the threat took another dagger from his sheath and stepped forward with ill intent.

“Oh fuc-!...”

A third dagger was thrown in your direction with the intent to hit its mark as one of the Entity’s champions boldly pursued you. Jolting backwards, the dagger thrown managed to nick your cheek in the process of piercing into the nearest pallet.

As your most recent threat, referred to as the trickster by the other survivors,  rearmed himself and prepared another blade with a bold laugh at your misfortune;  you took the chance to flee. Scrambling to your feet, adrenaline powered your movements as your converses dredged deep grooves into the mud. You slipped, but not before pushing a pallet over to maintain some distance between you and your attacker. 

Hissing in pain, you grabbed at your shoulder as you haphazardly continued to run, your breath leaving you in frantic spurts. Your legs had a will of their own, knocking you into every spare piece of wood or type of debris imaginable. It took great effort just to keep yourself on your feet.

Almost to your destination, hope was ripped from you as your foot got lodged in an unnoticeable hole, twisting uncomfortably to the point a guttural growl turned gasp escaped you as you hit the ground. Hard. 

The rest of your air deflated from your lungs and into your  surroundings as your ball cap was knocked from your head in your descent; flying and disappearing amongst the weeds. You cursed. There was no time to search for it. It was lost to you now.

Amidst your thoughts, somehow your rib cage  managed to land on the largest, sharpest rock known to man. You yelped in pain, assured yet another of countless bruises would appear on your skin within the hour.

Dazed and light headed from pain, but the last of your adrenaline pushing you to your limits; You grabbed at the soil and lunged  yourself forward with strenuous effort. You were so close to your designated hiding spot, and now that option was taken from you as well.

You wouldn’t give up, though. Not that easily.

Determined, you crawled to the next best thing: A spare pallet with just enough room underneath to provide some sort of cover. The entrance of the hole was covered with weeds and the occasional cattail. Perfect. Cover was just what you needed. 

Panting , you willed yourself to continue on, elbows digging into the ground to gain leverage in the moist soil as you hurriedly crawled in desperation. You were almost there. You were sure you would make it..

You had to. 

Unfortunately, your pursuit of safety was denied when the trickster caught up with you. You managed to crawl a few more inches to safety when you felt hands grab at your sides. You looked behind you and in a panicked fury started kicking your legs and wiggling to struggle free; but to no avail. Fate has other plans for you, much to your terror and disgruntlement.

The trickster hoisted you up and had you hanging from his shoulders like a light, limp sack of fruit. It irritated you how frail you were.  Still, delicate and bruisable as you were, you would not go down without a fight.

So fight you did, kicking and hitting any reachable orifice or weak point you could. You managed to hit your target every so often with sufficient force, but it was as if the man was made of impenetrable stone. Nothing you did weakened your kidnapper and it proved useless to struggle. Your attempts just made you more tired in the end and you needed to conserve your strength. 

Still, your fierce spirit wouldn’t be silenced and you wouldn’t give up your fight for survival just yet. Thinking it your best, and only, option; your voice illuminated the space around you. Your words ignited your attacker’s hearing in colorful, torrential succession as you also continued in your physical attack.

“Let me go, you fucker!! Put. Me. DOWN!!!”

This only supplied the trickster something to laugh at, your voice reverberating through his useless ears as your words came back void. To no surprise, your request was denied with yet another muted, sadistic chuckle. Great. Why did you think that would work? 

You continued in your struggle and berating words until you were nearing your destination; a particularly rusty hook that already had fresh blood from a recent victim acquired on the metal. You blanched at the sight. You didn’t have the possibility of acquiring Tetanus or blood poisoning on your agenda that evening, or ever, but you guess fate certainly didn’t give a damn. 

This particular hook was beneath The Pale Rose; and unfortunately was a good bit away from your nearly completed generator. You hoped that somehow one of the other survivors would take a hint and aid you in finishing your work, or at least come to your aid. It was unlikely though. The majority of people, if in your predicament, would’ve certainly attuned themselves to the idea of “Every man for themselves.” You certainly did. You tried rescuing someone before and it only resulted in your first capture. You wouldn’t make that same mistake again. Not without getting something in return.

There was only one other person you hoped would come for you, and even then it was still a long shot of if he would actually help you or not. From your short time of knowing him, Alastor has proved himself to be a wildcard and a man of conviction, but only if it suited his own needs or desires.

Left with no other options, you shamelessly screamed your partner’s  name with all the graceless volume in your lungs. 

“ALASTOR!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?! I NEED YOU!!”

Your desperate plea was met with nothing but your own continued screams as your injured shoulder was violently shoved into the rusty hook you spotted earlier.

The screams that left you didn’t sound like your own voice. They were raw and saturated with agony, foreign in pitch and deeply feral in cadence. Desperate, a shrill shriek left you as the tendons and veins in the muscles of your shoulder were ripped anew. Black dots adorned themselves to your vision, your head light from blood loss. You swore you even saw stars in your disoriented state. 

Before the worry of passing out or worse could visit your thoughts, the entity's claws were upon you. The sharp blades of horror forced you into a life or death struggle as your captor stepped away to watch your promised demise with glee. 

Gritting your teeth, you glared at the trickster, stubbornly clinging to life. With the last of your strength, you held the claws aiming to puncture holes into your chest and abdomen at bay as exhaustion loomed over you.

With a fury so profound you swore you saw your attackers eyes widen in surprise, you snarled out the most putrid threat you could think of in your pain. Your grip tightened on the entity’s claws as you pushed against the trap.

“I hope you fuckin’ die and burn in the hottest part of Hell, you stupid ass piece of shit! You’re lucky I’m hangin’ here otherwise I’d kill you myself! I-I’d gut you like a fish and rip out your eyeballs and… And feed you to the gators!!! Mark my words, I’ll make you wish you were dead!!! ”  

“Ha! What poetry~! But it would be quite hard to make one wish for death when they have already experienced it. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Not expecting the figure in front of you to slump over dead, your eyes widened when you saw your partner appear out of nowhere to pull a knife from the trickster’s back. Alastor’s blood soaked hands tightly gripped around his weapon of choice as he gently disposed of his latest victim’s blood on his dark denim jeans. 

“Now, this fellow’s descent into the nine circles can most assuredly be arranged. It is plausible that it is already well under way…”

When did Alastor show up? Amidst the chaos and trying to keep conscious, somehow he had appeared before you instantaneously. Perhaps he was just very close by when you called out to him? 

Glancing toward you, Alastor chuckled as his smile grew in smug satisfaction; curiosity glinting back at you from his calculated gaze. You continued fighting off the iron claws in silence, hoping seeing you in a struggle would alert him that his assistance was most definitely needed. You bit back a frustrated growl when he failed to notice your hidden cry for help. Perhaps he just actively ignored you again, preferring to continue talking instead.

“Though I’m sure it would’ve been such  a nice sight to witness your spin on taking out the trash… It pains me to know I won’t have the opportunity to see you do so…”

Despite his words, Alastor looked chipper with the outcome that had transpired. The man stood tall, his cream button up and blue jeans soaked  in viscera and gore, blood splatter decorating his spectacles and face. His conquest to gain the lives of the killers you requested most likely was going smoothly. Good. The more he killed, the greater assurance that you wouldn’t be.

What was surprising about his presentation, however, was that you could tell the blood wasn’t his. You thought that his close contact with various types of killers around the premises would have at least scored him a few wounds to keep as souvenirs; but he managed to surprise you yet again. He didn’t even look injured in the slightest. You could tell from the way his expression was lively and full of enjoyment that he was high off of the chaos, obviously receiving great pleasure from his conquest, and even more so about his most recent kill…

 Just how had he managed to do so well? You supposed that wasn’t important. What did matter was that your partner was taking the deal seriously. 

Choosing to ignore the unhinged vibes Alastor was giving off,  you scoffed and did your utmost to hide the tremendous pain you felt in your shoulder. Talking was getting very hard to do without pausing for much needed air. With each moment that passed, the Entity’s claws encroached closer to your person, making an exhausting task even more strenuous. 

You gasped as your hand slipped from one of the iron grips holding you firmly in place, the pain in your shoulder immense as the hook tugged on your overly sensitive flesh. You were fighting for your life and Alastor didn’t even seem to care. What kind of partner was he?

You supposed you couldn’t blame him. He had mentioned he always preferred solo work. Even so, anyone with even a slim amount of sanity would see you were very much in need. Your patience was about up, your struggle using the majority of your brain power. Words were hard to form at the moment. Brevity became necessary.

“Yeah, well he… Woulda looked like he does now…Dead…Stupid and…Fucked up…You did…A good job, I guess…”

“My, Is that praise I hear? Glad to know you approve of my efforts. I’m flattered.”

Alastor’s smile couldn’t have been more smug even if he tried. You rolled your eyes at the sight; stifling a low groan from both annoyance and affliction as the claws inched closer to your abdomen and collarbones. Sweat poured down your brow in your attempts at escape. You were too exhausted at this point to really call him out on his bullshit; and you really didn’t want to risk him leaving you on that hook again. Playing it safe, you decided to ignore his obvious attempts to get under your skin in hopes that he would lend you aid this time around.

“Yeah…Yeah, you don’t gotta mention it. Now…Are ya gonna help me out and… Let me down or…Or what? We’re wastin’ time…”

Still tall and poised, Alastor tilted his head as he looked at you, placing his blade back into its sheath, a question to counter your own on his breath.

“Just how many times do you intend to be captured this evening, dear? You certainly are a bloody mess, aren’t you?”

Scoffing, you stared at the first three buttons on Alastor’s shirt, blood splatter staining his fabric to ruin. He looked how you felt, every flinch and twitch of your muscles shooting agony through your body as your own blood created an ocean down your jean jacket. 

You groaned. It was too much energy wasted to look anywhere else.

“No Shit….Look who’s talkin’, but no, seriously… Are your arms not workin’ or somethin’?…Let me down…”

Wincing, you used the majority of your remaining strength to readjust your body weight on the hook. Another hiss of agony leaked through your gritted teeth. Your attempts were enough to bring brief tears to the corners of your eyes. You blinked them away. You wouldn’t let him see you cry.

“We’re…Supposed to be partner’s, right? Don’t just….leave me hangin’….”

“Ha! Good one…”

Another encore of enthused chuckles escaped him as he crossed his arms. It still didn’t look like he was in any hurry to come to your aid. Shocker.

“...Unfortunately, you are missing a simple, vital phrase…It’s rather rude to forget it, wouldn’t you agree?”

Once again you were left dumbfounded by the man’s words. What did he mean? You were left in tremendous confusion until it hit you. The bastard was wanting you to beg him for his help. Again.

Swallowing as much pride as you could spare, as well as the urge to let out another scream, you let your head hang as low as it would go without causing anymore needless damage to your shoulder. Your hands still firmly grasped around the claws of the greedy Entity.

“...Please…”

Without seeing him, you could tell he was smirking just by the way his voice sounded, conceited and self important. Vain.

“Please what?”

A low growl entered your voice in a mixture of exasperation and discomfort as you looked up at your so-called partner with a deep scowl. You bit into your cheek before uttering yet another shameful, pitiful plea. You absolutely hated how weak it made you feel.

“Please…If you’d be so…gracious as to lend me your….Assistance…I'd be so appreciative…”

You wanted to make sure that Alastor knew you were pissed.  The words you managed to mutter were drenched in so much sarcasm that it brought an obvious, irritated twitch to your partner’s eye. Good. He deserved it after refusing to help you for a second time. If he thought it was a burden to help you, you would show him just how much of an inconvenience you could be, should he continue to refuse to come to your aid.

Alastor remained silent. Another claw formed on the hook, causing you to have to split your efforts of keeping the iron talons at bay; one hand for each claw that formed. 

Frustration flooded into you to the point you let out a shout and another string of vibrant  curses.

“Arrghhhh!  Just. Get. Me. down! I’m bleedin’ out, if ya haven’t noticed!”

“Oh, I’ve noticed. I do think the color red suits you rather well…”

Yet another vexing pause was seen on his part as he shifted his weight from one hip to another, his arms still crossed and his gaze curious as he stood infront of you, tantalizingly close but resistant and mute to your continued pleas.

“Besides, what was your earlier phrase? Ah, yes…I do believe it was ‘“Fuck you. I’ll just do it myself.”’? Where has all that spirit gone? You seemed very capable before. Surely nothing has changed since?”

Dumbfounded, you didn’t know how to reply. You were in such shock that one of your hands slipped, allowing one of the Entity’s claws to pierce deeply into your opposite collarbone. You let out an ear piercing scream as you managed to dig the iron out of your skin; adrenaline sending shivers swimming through your bloodstream.

Struggling to form words, you paused to take breaths in between your verbiage.

“It’s...Complicated…Hard to…Explain!”

“Then try. Enlighten me.”

“Look…I…I already used my perk, Deliverance ... .I can’t use it again; so I would greatly appreciate it if you got your head out of your ass and…and helped me! The Entity’s rippin’ me apart!”

A look equally offended and appalled darted across Alastor’s features, distorting his toothy smile to the slightest degree.

“Your…Perk? Entity? Whatever do you mean? Speak plainly, dear. What you’ve just said is very much akin to gibberish…”

If you weren’t actively fighting for your life you would’ve stared at him in disbelief, mouth agape like some braindead fool. Did this idiot not know what a survivor’s perk was? Was he actually galavanting around this entire map without using any of his? And he still managed to not get a single scratch on him? What type of creature was he?

It was as if he wasn’t even human…

Irritated that your partner was seemingly perfect, except for the one flaw that he would not willingly help set you free; you grumbled out the expected information. Somehow amidst gasping for breath, you managed to explain what a perk was and a little about the entity until Alastor’s expression changed to one of mild understanding.

“...Now, help me already….Please!”

Gasping for air and on the verge of passing out, or passing away, you looked toward your so-called partner with the utmost desperation hidden in your eyes. Yet another pause was shared between the two of you and he still refused to move or help you. Your patience for this man was about over.

“Look, shithead, I said please three times, didn’t I?!”

“My, how rude…You do realize whose life is still on the line at the moment, yes?”

In a tone that could only be described as patronizing, his grin grew in conceited splendor. Did he really enjoy getting a rise out of you that much? Your scowl deepened at his sick joy. 

That sadistic fuck…

An even wider smirk adorned Alastor’s features as you blanched, your complexion pale due to both your realization as well as blood loss. His smile was more genuine when you whispered an apology. It was obvious he was pleased to know he had bruised your pride even more than it already was.

“Hmm…I suppose I will let you off the hook for your blunder, if only this once…The tendency to lose manners when one’s life is threatened is something common and albeit expected. Here, brace yourself…This will surely hurt.”

Reaching up to you to finally offer you aid after what seemed to be a millenia, a dark and teasing laugh seeped into Alastor’s breath.

“Feel free to scream if necessary…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a few minutes and a superfluity of stifled screams and curses from his little lady, you were freed. It didn’t take much for Alastor to procure you from your entrapment, but he did silently muse on just how light you were in his arms. If he so wished, throwing you with one hand would’ve been as simplistic as breathing. Of course, he had no time for such tempting indulgence. As you had rudely prompted him before, time was slipping away from you both. 

So, with minimal effort and all the grace the radio host had at his disposal, Alastor allowed your liberty to take place. He encapsulated your waist in his hands, deftly  pulling you from your perch. You were worse for wear and covered in filth, of course, but freed all the same. 

Fortunately, the subsequent screams from you were a sufficient reward for his efforts.

Alastor listened to you grumble under your labored breath as you dusted the first of many particles of dirt from your clothing. Your attempts did nothing to satiate the need for disposing of the blood and oil that collected themselves upon your bodice and skin. At least an attempt was made on your part to better your appearance.

Looking over his shoulder to survey the area for any additional threat, Alastor caught sight of the tell tale signs of your dingy cap underneath the shadows of the cattails nearby. Ah. That’s where he had placed it when he acquired it out of the weeds and spare piles of wood when your belligerent cry for assistance rang through his ears. Luckily he was close by, but even so. A little more patience would’ve been appreciated on your part.

Within minutes he left you behind to attain said cap, only to daintily dust it off and provide it to you. You propped your forearm on one knee for a moment before pulling yourself up from the mud to look at the outstretched hand he offered. It was a most generous gift he bestowed to you. 

“I do believe this is yours?”

A deeper scowl was returned to him for his efforts; but he only laughed. You certainly were of the feisty sort.

 You snatched the gift from his hands and donned it swiftly, tugging it over your eyes and adjusting its place on your head as your back arched forward in an atrocious attempt at remaining on your feet. Your posture was lacking, but Alastor supposed you did have a right to not be at your best. It was a marvel how you steadfastly willed yourself to remain standing, let alone conscious. Your stance was shaky, but surprisingly firm as your ever present scowl looked up to meet his curious gaze. 

“Alright…We don’t have much time…There’s only two gen’s left. So you go…Uh…Stab people or what have you…and I’ll…I’ll fix those machines. We’ll meet back up at the exit….Sound good…?”

Alastor quirked a brow at your words, but remained silent. Just what type of tenacity compelled you to continuously move forward when you were considerably near death's door? Surely you were ready to give in by now. 

However, even if your complaints were mostly of his “incompetence” your ferocity was never aimed at your own predicament; but just one glance at your pale complexion instantly notified him that you were tired. More than tired. You were a corpse walking.

It was very interesting how you hadn’t fallen over dead, and Alastor would go so much as to say you colored him impressed. Perhaps only the fiercest of  fighting spirits remained within you? You were of the obstinate sort, after all.

Still, there was something else about you that piqued his interest. Something he couldn’t quite name; and he wanted to figure out what it was. 

Perhaps your natural inclination for survival was just emboldened by the circumstances the two of you found yourselves in. It was an admirable attribute. You weren’t weak and your folly wouldn’t be by your own hand. No, you were stubborn, determined, and just did not know when to quit.

Perhaps that was a good thing…

Alastor’s smile grew. Yet another intriguing thing was learned from you. A few more close observations would surely supply him with even more delightful answers? If you still proved entertaining and useful as the night dragged on, he wouldn’t mind offering you the continued chance to thrive… 

So far, that prospect was promising. Loathe as he was to admit it, however, your eclectic nature, your stubbornness and that persistent disgruntlement of yours had piqued his full curiosity with ease; providing him with a surprising amount of amusement.

Perhaps you had already earned your chance to be spared…

Commanding his thoughts to cease for a moment, Alastor watched as you stepped away from him with a deep heaviness in your footwork. You certainly were a tenacious little thing, compelled by your convictions to a fault. Of course, he would expect nothing less from a partner worthy of his time. He conceded. Your work ethic was impeccable. You were doing well.

Alas, however a nuisance it was to obey someone else’s orders, Alastor assured you he would do as asked as you continued down your chosen path. He only received a small nod and a barely raised hand as you slowly retreated.

The radio host made his way down the opposite path, taking his knife from its home on his belt as he continued his previous stalking through the brush; eager to bleed yet another soul dry that evening…

[theladybarnes]

CRIMSON AND CLOVER: CHAPTER THREE

" You know, you're not what I thought you'd be like ”

▸ summary: winter ends and so do relationships ▸ characters: robin buckley, eddie munson, & steve harrington 💕 (ft. dustin henderson and jonathan byers) ▸ word count: 13.7k         ▸ warnings: SEMI-SMUT (18+MINORS DNI) handjob, & angst ▸ series masterlist

DECEMBER (CONTINUED..)

 “You’re kidding me.”

 “I am not, Jonathan!” you hissed, looking down the hall. When there was no sign of anyone else coming out of their rooms, you continued on. “I just..left.”

 “But why would you just..that doesn’t make sense! Tell me from the beginning again.”

 Sighing, you sat down in the chair by the kitchen phone. It had been over an hour now of venting to Jonathan and because he’s currently hopped-up on whatever his friend Argyle supplied him, it’s taking longer to explain everything to him. 

 “Fine, but this is the last time.”

 “Last time, promise.”

 You go over the events that happened at the end of the night you spent at Steve’s. It was a bit painful to explain it in detail again but you really needed some advice from your friend. “..And when I looked back, he was standing there. Note in hand and everything.”

 “Christ.” he sighed, “And since then you two haven’t talked?”

 “I called him when I got home that afternoon. Other than that we’ve been thankfully busy. Mostly just school and then work. But I’ve switched with Keith a couple of times to avoid the long hours.”

 “You really know how to put on the theatrics, don’t you?”

 “Seriously?” you gaped, looking at the receiver as if it insulted you and not your friend on the other line. “I’m doing anything for theatrics. I’m literally trying to get out of possibly another fight.”

 “Yeah, which surely won’t happen the next time you see each other again.”

 “I’m sort of hoping it'll resolve itself by then.” he went silent for a moment and you knew that he was possibly coming to his own thoughts on it. “Don’t you think?”

 “I’m thinking you’re not gonna like what I have to say.”

 “I’m sure I can handle it. Just give it to me.” 

 He sighed softly, seeming to be more nervous at your request. But he spoke up either way. “I think you’re in the wrong for asking that much from Steve.”

 “..you’re right. I’m hanging up.” 

 “Would you let me finish?” Jonathan chuckled before he turned serious again. “I get where you’re coming from. I know that in your head it’s just logical for the guy with no official ties there to just leave and go with you.”

 “Good, you get it.” 

 “But,” he continued on. “I also think it’s wrong for you to assume it'd be easy. Steve Harrington has lived in Hawkins his whole life and despite any complaining he might have done to you at some point, a small part of him is gonna be scared shitless to just leave the comforts of home.”

 You frowned at your friend’s words. Hating that a small part of you felt like what you were hearing was right. “But I left home. I haven’t lived there in almost three years..”

 “And I’m sure if your parents asked you to come back you’d tell them no, right?”

 “I—“ the answer died on your tongue. At this point you weren’t sure what you’d actually say to a question like that. While Hawkins the place wasn’t your home, the people that inhabited it were. And you didn’t think you could give up any one of them. Especially Steve.

 “I know it sucks not to have things go your way. But sometimes you gotta take the curveballs life throws at you and do something else.”

 “Something else?” you frowned. “But..what about the relationship? The feelings we worked on getting out..all that was just for nothing? All because we let fear get in the way of progressing it?”

 Jonathan sighed and you can practically envision him with his hand on his hips right now. “Who says you guys are supposed to progress together? What if there’s changes along the way?..Look this is definitely something you should talk to Steve about. But, if this were me in the situation. I’d just do what my heart thinks is right. Even if it’s to the disappointment of others. Just do what makes you happy, you know?”

 The thought about what makes you happy was easy to answer. It was Steve. He was the only thing these days that made you the most happy. But Jonathan was right, if you truly went with what you wanted, some people along the way might get hurt. 

 “Henderson? You still there?”

 “I’m here I’m just..”  you sighed. You were about to ask about his thoughts on taking a gap year when the sound of a car engine cut you off. Dragging the phone and long cord with you, you peeked through the window to see Steve parking in your driveway. “Shit.” you whispered. “Can I call you back later?”

 “What? Why? Is Steve there?”

 “Yes,” you muttered, looking as he seemed to be talking to himself in the car. “I think he must have heard you lecturing me.” 

 “Good. The two of you need to seriously sort your shit out. Anyway, Argyle is gonna come over tonight. He has this new album he wants to show me.”

 “Fine, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

 “All right, sounds good. And look..just hear him out. Maybe he’s going through something we don’t know about, okay?” 

 The two of you muttered out a quick goodbye before dropping the phone back down. Grabbing your thick coat off the coat rack, you quickly made your way out the door. Closing it up behind you with a swift thud as Steve had just made his way out of his car.

 “Oh, hey.” he said nervously. “Guess you heard me coming in.”

 “Yeah.” you said plainly. “I was by the door anyway..”

 The two of you slowly moved towards each other. His usually confident demeanor faltered as he approached. His eyes, usually warm when looking at you, had a dull shine. Snow crunched beneath your boots as you both met in the middle of the driveway. It made your stomach twist to know that the two of you were not only nervous but awkward with each other. Even when you hated Steve you never felt this bad.

 “I missed you.” He said softly, reaching a hand out to place on your arm. “I missed you all week actually.” 

 “I missed you too.” you said softly, not even realizing that amidst the trouble, there was the need to see him again until he was before you now. Your eyes caught sight of a little patch of green peeking out from his shirt. Reaching forward you pull down his coat to expose the familiar tacky vest from work. “You came from work..”

 He chuckled a bit, nodding his head before he unzipped his coat, exposing the rest of the vest to you.“Yeah, I did. Would have come sooner, but I was sort of building up the courage.”

 That tugged at your heart a bit and you reached out to cup at his cheek. Rubbing with your thumb soothingly. “You should never be afraid to talk to me..”

 He reached up to place his hand on top of yours, a small smile on his face. “Never. I’ll always want to talk to you..it was getting you to talk to me that made me nervous.”

 Sighing, you look down to the ground. Not sure how the two of you were going to approach this. But things couldn’t continue this way. Turning your attention back to Steve, you give him what you hope came off as reassurance. “I’m listening..”

 Changing your hand to lace together, he led you over so that the two of you could lean against your Aunt’s car. Shading you under the roof of the parking spot and also placing you closer to his side. 

 “I have a small confession.” he murmured, moving his other free hand into his pocket. “I did come with other intentions than just talking.”

 You watched as he dug out a small box from his pocket. The size was oddly too familiar with something else but he quickly opened it up before you could question it. Peering down, you looked inside to find a beautiful gold necklace. 

 “Steve,” you softly gasped. “It’s not even Christmas yet.”

 “Humor me.” he said before reaching in. He pulled at the chain until he was able to dangle the center of the necklace to you. A small letter ‘S’ shined back at you. Nudging at your shoulders, he gently turned you around so that he could place the necklace around your neck, quickly locking it on. 

 Turning back to face him, the two of you glanced down at the accessory. It was a perfect fit. And though you’ve never been one to have your boyfriend’s name be proudly displayed for others to see, the small little S made your heart beat faster.

 “I've, uh, wanted to give that to you for some time now.” he said, clearing his throat. Almost nervously. “That box has been sitting in my sock drawer since the summer, honestly.” 

 “The summer?” you asked, “Why?”

 “Remember that night before we were stuck in the elevator?”

 You couldn’t help but smile a bit at the memory. It was the night that cemented your feelings for Steve. “Yeah,” you nodded. “There was that mess on the roof, then I got upset and you came over to cheer me up..it was perfect.”

 Steve smiled at that, nodding his head in agreement. 

 “That night changed everything for me.” He reached up to cup the side of your face, eyes boring down to yours when he suddenly turned serious. “I wanted to tell you I loved you a thousand times that night. But seeing as we weren’t there yet, I settled for trying to make a grand gesture sort of thing.”

 “You’ve loved me since that night?”

 “I’ve loved you since Prom, Honey.” 

 Your jaw slacked at the small confession. Unsure how you could have missed at all that Steve’s feelings for you had been that serious then. Prom had been the first time in months since the two of you kissed and he felt that strongly then?

 His hand reached out to hold the necklace, brushing his fingers lightly over the letter before he let go. “I got this the next day. Right in Starcourt.” he said, voice tinged with some sort of fondness. “Was gonna give it to you right when you entered the store, but then..”

 “I came from Billy’s attack.” you finished, reaching up to hold onto the necklace. “You wanted to give me this since then?”

 “I wanted to give it to you as a way to ask you to be my girl,” he looked down at the ground sadly. “But I guess now I’m giving it to you, to ask if you’re still my girl?” 

 You breath hitched at his words. It would seem leaving didn’t just prevent a fight from happening, but also put in a whole new worry for Steve. “I’m always gonna be your girl, Steve.” you said softly, reaching over to grab hold of his hand. 

 “Then why does it feel like I’m about to lose you?” 

 “You don’t have to lose me, Steve.” You sighed, letting go to lean back against the car. “In fact, I think me asking you to come with me proved otherwise.” 

 He straightened his composer, lips pursing at your words before he glanced up at you. “I told you, I can’t go with you. Not when I feel like I still need to be here.” 

 “I don’t get it, Steve.” You scoffed, pushing your hair away from your face. “How can you easily give me this necklace, talk about loving me for so long only to let me leave without even thinking about coming with me.” 

 “I can love you and know where I want to go, Trouble. It’s pretty easy to do both things.” He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. “What I don't get is how you can love me back but be upset that I want to stay here. Why is long distance out of the question?”

 “Because long distance isn’t feasible for us, Steve!” You moved to stand before him, peering up at his face better. “How can you and I, the same two people who sneak into each other’s houses in the dead of the night, the very people who are constantly touching each other, suddenly just deal with the next four years without seeing each other.”

 “We’d see each other,” he pointed. “We’d have holidays, birthdays, and surprises. There’s ways we’d work things out.” 

 You sighed, meeting his intense gaze. "Those are only if we even get the chance to see each other. You’re forgetting that there are going to be nights where the both of us are tired from either work or school and we wouldn’t even have the comfort of having each other.”

 He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I know but Hawkins is... it's my home. There's something here I can't just walk away from."

 “But you’re willing to walk away from us? From me?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady from the sudden ache in your throat. “I thought we were a team. I thought we'd want the same things..”

 He paced back and forth, unable to meet your gaze as he suddenly became torn. "My friends are here, my family is here.”

 "Why do you insist on staying stuck in Hawkins? You have so much potential, Steve. You could go anywhere, do anything, but you're choosing not to."

 The word slipped out before you could see the impact cut across Steve’s hurt face. It was the same word that Tommy had used just the other month and from Steve’s furrowed brows, you could tell it struck a nerve again. 

 "I'm not stuck, okay?” He gritted. “This is where I belong right now. I've got responsibilities here."

 "Responsibilities? What about your own dreams, Steve? What about your future?" you pressed again, exasperated at the fact that almost a week later and he still wasn’t seeing it. 

 "I've got people here who rely on me here, despite what you want or think." he countered, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.

 "But what about you? Have you ever thought about what you want?" you shot back, feeling the weight of the disagreement hit again. 

 He hesitated for a moment, eyes cast down on the ground before he could meet your gaze again. "Maybe I've never really thought about all of it. But I can't just up and leave everything behind.”

 "It's not about leaving everything behind, Steve. It's about growing, exploring, finding your own path," 

 There was a life for Steve outside of Hawkins. Outside of you, and though your main point was to have him explore that life with you, it was hurting to see that he didn’t want that for himself. 

 “Look, I know it’s new for me to not agree to what you want, but this isn’t by choice. Even when I was with Nancy, I told her the same thing. I’d stick around, make sure she was okay and work here. I wanna do that for everyone.” 

 Bringing up Nancy brought up a sour feeling that you shoved down. Knowing that in some way, this was Steve’s poor excuse. “I’m not Nancy Wheeler. Okay? I’m not gonna sit back and let the boy I love waste potential in a place that doesn’t deserve him.” you glared. “And in case you can’t tell, the others are all grown up now. They’re in high school, Robin is following up right after me in graduating. What happens when they’re all gone, Steve? Is that the time you figure out you wanna be with me?”

 Steve circled back towards you, finger pointing over at you. “That’s not fair for you to say. You know I want you, God, it’s literally the one thing that’s been consistent since I met you. Why can’t you understand that me being here doesn’t mean I’m not with any plans of my own, huh? Why is it automatically your way or nothing?”

 Tears welled up in your eyes the longer you stared at Steve. “Then tell me!” you cried out. Frustrated that you pushed him into thinking things had to go your way. “Tell me what it is you want! Because as far as I know it just sounds like excuses to not be with me!”

 “I thought I made that clear a while ago. I want you, dammit!” he yelled, moving to gently place his hands on your shoulders. “Please, can we just pause this? I need some time to figure this out. Can we... can we take a break from this?"

 You held your breath. Not quite ready to have Steve be so suddenly upset from all this. You couldn’t help but think back to what Jonathan warned you about. Steve wasn’t ready to leave this place. Even if you didn’t understand, it didn’t change how he felt. No matter how much you wished it would. 

 “What’s gonna change in the next six months, Steve? We fall even harder for each other and break up then? When are we finally gonna stop going in circles over this and realize we’re on different paths?”

 “Different paths?” he asked softly, confusion over his face. 

 “Yeah,” you sniffled. “Different paths..” 

 His jaw slacked a bit and you tried to keep your composure tough but the realization is hitting harder than you thought it would. Before you know it, your vision of Steve is suddenly blurred by your tears and you’re swaying in place to keep from running back in the house to burst into a sob.

 “Honey..”

 “I think we want different things, Steve. I want to explore, grow, and I thought we'd do that together. But if you can't leave Hawkins..then I need to understand that I can't ask you to." Wiping at your eyes, your sight cleared up to catch his expression mirrored the same anguish you felt inside.“I never meant to push this choice onto you. Not when you weren’t ready. I want you to want things with me. But if you aren’t ready then I need to let you go..”

 “Please,” he pleaded, “I love you.”

 "I love you too," you whispered, ignoring the ice that was gripping onto your heart at the moment. "But if we keep this same argument months later..who knows what might happen. We might even grow to hate each other..”

 He reached for your hand, desperation in his eyes as he pulled you closer. "We can work this out. We've been through so much worse than this."

 "I know, but this is different," you said softly, pulling your hand away gently. "I feel like we both need to figure ourselves out.”

 "I don't want to lose you," he pleaded, voice cracking. 

 "I don't want to lose you either," you admitted, tears streaming down your cheeks. "But I need to move forward. And I don’t think I can do that when I know there’s going to be pain in the future.”

 He looked broken as he watched you take a step back. Hand twitching out to you before he brought it down to his side. "What... what do you want me to do?"

 The words felt like knives, but they needed to be said. "I need you to let me go too, Steve..”

 His eyes glistened with unshed tears, his silence speaking volumes. "So this is it?" he finally whispered. “After everything we’re just..over?”

 “Please, Steve.” you pleaded softly. “Let me go too.” 

 his hand reached up to cup your cheek, his gaze searching into yours. "This is what you really want?" You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. 

 "Yes."

 His lips met yours in a tender, bittersweet kiss, filled with all the love, and heartache that lingered between the two of you. It was a goodbye in itself, a lingering moment that you wished would go on for an eternity.

 When you pulled back, you carefully reached up to return the necklace, feeling like you were the person least deserving to wear his sign of love. But Steve quickly reached out to stop your hands. Shaking his head as he carefully readjusted it on you.

 “I’m– it’s yours. Regardless if we break up or not.” 

 Tears welled up in your eyes as you clutched the necklace tightly. "Steve..."

 "Please," he insisted softly. "You wanted me to make some decisions for myself? You keeping that is one of them.” 

 With a heavy heart, you watched as Steve stepped away from you. Hand reaching up to pinch at the side of his nose as he tried to conceal his emotions from coming through. It took everything in you to let him return back to his car. 

 You thought back to what Jonathan had said about doing what your heart thought was right. Even if it was to the disappointment of others. 

 Little did you know it’d be you who was disappointed in the end.

 JANUARY (THREE WEEKS LATER) 

 It had been a long dead night over at Family Video. The soft radio playing from the speakers was the only noise between you and Robin for the past hour. Something you were a little grateful for considering the awkwardness that came in when you first clocked in for your night shift.

 It was three weeks since that night in the driveway and things within your small group of friends had turned painfully stagnant. Whether it be from your three week reclusive approach, or Steve’s avoiding one. No one knew how to handle the break up. Hell, neither one of you would so why would your friends be able to?

 But along with the sadness between you and Steve came the awkwardness with Robin. Stuck between being friends with the both of you. It wasn’t until a couple of days ago that she had slipped up about knowing the details of everything that happened. Causing your walls to momentarily come up around her. 

 But that happened over a week ago and you were really trying not to push away one of your newer friends all because of a bad breakup. Robin was nice to you before even knowing Steve personally. So with that in mind, you tried your best the whole night to be friendlier. Or as friendly as you could be. But that didn’t mean it was going to be easy.

 Robin had restocked the snacks, you organized the return tapes, and then lastly the two of you worked together to set up a promo spot for tomorrow’s movie selections, All in record timing. Once Robin noticed you were slowly opening up again, she seemed to be keen to make up for the few awkward hours before. 

 “I don’t know how I feel about Weird Science.” Robin sighed, looking over the stack of movies facing the door. You set down the clipboard with the list of things to order for tomorrow to go join her on the other side of the counter.

 “I know. But, considering we’ve got Fright Night and Teen Wolf up, it’s at least keeping with the whole sciencey-horror theme.”

 “There’s absolutely nothing horror to do with Weird Science.” Robin scoffed as she adjusted one of the boxes, scrunching her nose over at the mini poster for Teen Wolf. “Keith’s gonna kill us.”

 “It can be considered scary if you’re bad at Science?” you tried, looking back over to her. She had a knowing look on her face that had your confidence in the set up crumpling. “Okay, he might. But just say I did it.”

 “Right.” she snorted. “It’s not like he’d ever tell you anything anyway.” 

 Reaching back for the stock list, you go over all the candies once more before sighing. It’s been a slow night and you weren’t looking forward to another hour here. But this was the life of a working teen and you were oddly still putting up with it. 

 Robin, who was quietly tidying up around the register, suddenly let out a loud gasp. “Oh no!” she said, reaching down the counter for her bag. You quickly left the candy area to join back at her side. Looking at her worriedly.

 “What’s wrong?”

 She pulled out a miniature calendar from her bag. Flipping through the pages rapidly until she landed on one with scribbled notes on it. “I completely forgot to write up the assignment needed for the Terminator’s class.” 

 The familiar name amused you momentarily before you glanced over her shoulder to see the circled date. “Shit.” you frowned, “How many pages do you need?”

 “Just three, but I barely had my notes put together yesterday.” she looked through her bag for another notebook before flipping through them for a certain spot. “God I’m gonna have to pull an all-nighter after this.”

 Glancing at your watch, you wince at the late hour. “You need more time.” 

 She ignored you momentarily to push back the notebook and calendar into her bag before coming back up. Biting her lip in worry. You couldn’t help but feel bad for your friend. Feeling the familiar panic of academic stress. Pushing the phone towards her, you nudge for her to take the receiver. “Call Steve to pick you up. Then at least you can get started sooner.”

 “What?” she gaped, looking at the clock on the back wall. “No, I-I can’t do that! You’d be by yourself.”

 “It’s fine, Robin.” you reassured her, pushing the handle into her hands. “Steve will get here fast, and you’ll at least get a big enough head start and maybe catch some hours of sleep before school.” 

 “No,” she shook her head. “I wouldn’t feel right leaving you by yourself. What if some creepy guy comes in and murders you?”

 You stood still blinking over at her. Wondering why she’d mention something so creepy at a time like this. “Not that I needed that new fear, but I’ll be safe. I’m a big girl.” You take the base of the phone, dialing the number practically engraved in your mind before pushing it to her ear. “What I do need is for you to study. So get to begging.”

 There’s a moment of worry on her face before the sound of Steve’s voice perked up through the phone. She thankfully gets the idea of you not backing down from your offer and asks Steve to come take her home. You give her a thumbs up and get the area ready to close off. Needing the distraction from the inevitable moment of seeing Steve again for the first time in days.

 Robin helped too. Making sure the windows and backdoors were all checked and locked before joining you back in the front. It was only a couple of minutes before the headlights of Steve’s car shined through the store.

 A part of you hated the idea of being alone. It was going to be creepy. But the sight of Steve stepping out of his car, hand combing through his lush hair, made you want more than ever for Robin to get out of here. The sound of the door ringing open snapped you into averting your gaze from the boy and you quickly meddled with the few papers in front of you to keep your focus on.

 “Hey, you guys ready to go?”

 “Uh, it’s just me, actually.” Robin said, grabbing her bag. “Henderson is gonna wait out till closing and for her Aunt to pick her up.”

 Without even having to look up, you knew that Steve’s eyes were on you now. It was like a magnetic pull that he still had on you. But you couldn’t look up just yet. Not when you knew what kind of face he’d be giving you right now. “Is that true?” he asked softly. 

 “Uhh, yeah, I was gonna call her in twenty minutes and let her know.” you coughed, face down. The sound of his keys jingling was oddly loud, but not as loud as the sound of your heart beat. 

 Before you knew it, Steve moved to stand in front of you at the counter. Forcing you to finally make eye contact with him. His eyes were etched with the same worry that looked at you the night in your driveway. You tried not to visibly recoil from the ache that burst into your chest.

 “I could come back for you.” he offered softly. A small bit of confidence in his voice. 

 “That’s fine, Steve. I’ll get home.”

 “I’m serious,” he frowned. “I could just come back. You’d be able to close up and maybe get some–”

 “NO.” you said quickly, having to physically take a step back. There’s a flicker of hurt over Steve’s face and he’s balled up the fist holding onto his keys. You can’t help but feel like how it was that second year here when you were cruel to him on purpose. Pushing him away from having still been mad at him. 

 You didn’t feel good then and you don’t feel good now.

“I’ll be fine,” you said more nicely after a minute of awkward silence. “You should take her home..she really needs the extra time.”

 He glanced over at Robin, giving her a questioning look, but all she did was mouth a please to him before he nodded his head. Backing away from the counter almost defeatedly. “Be safe.” he said softly, shuffling over towards the front door. 

 Taking that as a leaving cue, Robin picked up her bag from the counter. Reaching over to place her hand over yours as she threw you a sympathetic smile. “I owe you a million for this. Call me later so I know you’re okay?”

 “A million and one.” you said softly, trying to smile back. But with Steve’s presence there you’re sure it’s more wincing than you wished. “I’ll call you.” you added.

 The two make their leave after that agreement. Quietly making their exit from the store while you stayed over at the counter. They quickly enter the car, leaving you and family video alone for the rest of the night.

  Thirty minutes later and you’re done with the store being dead. If Keith wanted to get mad at you for closing early, then he could pout about it in the office tomorrow. Right now, all you wanted was to get into your bed and try not to think about the haunting brown eyes that looked at you with such concern tonight. 

 Picking up the phone, you made an attempt to reach out to someone at home. But with your Aunt possibly still out and Dustin most likely hanging out with your friends, there’s no one there to answer your call. You’re suddenly filled with panic of how the hell you’re getting out of here. 

 A part of you thinks it might be fine to just call Steve. It’s not like he’d be upset since he was so adamant before. But even the short car ride home would be long enough for that horrible pain to come back in and you didn’t think you could handle that. Nor did you want to put Steve through that either.

 Looking at your watch, you realize you’ll at least be able to make the last bus for the night if you close up now.

 Rushing to the back, you make a move to grab your jacket and purse, ready to lock up and get the hell out of here. But before you could grab the keys, you could hear the sound of the door’s bell jingle. 

 “Dammit!” you whispered to yourself. Of course tonight you’d still have to deal with annoying customers. Turning off the light in the room, you grab the keys and slowly enter back into the front. “Uh hey, sorry but we’re actually closing up–”

 The sight of an empty front desk killed off your words instantly.

 “Hello?” you called out. Taking a small hesitant step, you enter the counter booth and try to peer out into the store. There isn’t a soul in the place. 

 Biting your lip, you reached over to the phone on the counter. Unsure of who’d you’d even cal-

 “Lovely night, isn’t it?” 

 You let out a small yelp, grabbing the clipboard near you and swatting it to the direction of the mysterious voice. 

 “OW!” 

 Peeking your eyes open, you’re welcomed to the sight of Eddie rubbing the side of his head. A glare on his face as he looked over at you. 

 “Is that how you greet all your customers?” he chided.

 Setting down the clipboard, you use your hands to lean against the counter. Getting in some air to help calm you down before you looked back up at Eddie again. This time you used your hand to slap at his arm.

 “OKAY! Really?!” he asked as he moved to rub his hand. 

 “Yes, Eddie, really! Why the hell did you come in and scare me like that?”

 “Scare you?” he scoffed. “I said it was a nice night!”

 Frowning, you crossed your arms over your chest. “Oh yeah? And so sneaking up behind me as I called out to a totally empty store didn’t make you think I’d freak out?”

 “I thought you’d enjoy a different kind of greeting.” 

 Sighing, you turned away from Eddie, ignoring his presence momentarily so that you could finish up all that you needed before you’d eventually push him out. Even if you were about to have a heart attack, you’d still make it in time to catch that bus.

 “So I’m bored tonight.” Eddie yawned out, moving to stand in front of the counter before you. Unaware that you’ve moved on to closing up rather than waiting around. 

 “How fun.” you replied back, collecting the inventory papers together. 

 He tapped his hands against the counter, looking over the place before the VHS display caught his attention. “None of these go together.” he snorted, picking up one of the tapes. “Weird Science wasn’t even scary.”

 “I wasn’t going for scary.” you muttered, reaching out to grab the tape from his hands to set out on the counter. “I was going for..sciencey-horror..ish.”

 “Ish?” he smirked. “When did they bring in that genre?”

 “They brought it in just for Family Video, didn’t you know?” you shrugged. 

 He reached over for the copy of Fright Night next. Reading the back description out loud to himself before his gaze returned back on you. “Got a thing for vamps?”

  “Nah, but that Chris Sarandon is kinda hot.” you said quickly as you grabbed the tape and scanned it into the checkout before Eddie could change his mind. “Will that be all tonight?”

 He finally caught on to how rushed you were making things. Dramatically, he spun around to look around the store as if he had a line of people waiting behind him. 

 “Are you trying to kick me out, Princess?”

 “Yes!” you laughed, waving your hand out for him to pass over the rental fee. “If I close the store now I can catch the last bus home.”

 Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out a couple of crumpled up dollar bills for you. “Why the hell are you taking the bus this late? It’s not safe.”

 You want to tell him because a giant flesh monster scrunched your car up into a ball last summer. But since that wasn’t an option, you settled for the semi truthful answer. “Because I have no car and need to get home.”

 He watched in silence as you flattened out the crumbled money before adding it to the registry. You noticed that he’s given more than needed and figure he’s already prepaying for his inevitable late fee. 

 “So..why don’t I just give you a ride home?”

 You waited until you closed the register before looking over at him. There was a bit of pink to his cheeks and you wondered how someone who had this usual odd confidence could be nervous about offering a ride. 

 “You know, Robin warned me about creepy guys coming in tonight.” you teased, watching as his face turned from nervous to shock. 

 “Offering a ride constitutes me being creepy now?”  

 “Probably.” you laughed as you watched Eddie cross his arms over his chest. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to be a bother to your night anyway. You were probably coming in to grab a movie and head home.”

 “It’d be an honor to drive you home, Henderson. Lord knows I gotta work on doing the whole nice friend thing.”

 “Oh and we’re friends suddenly?”

 “It’s what I’d call us.”

 Quickly, you closed up the computer, shutting it down so that you can end the night finally. “You kinda have to know a thing or two about each other before you can say you’re friends.” you pointed out before reaching down to grab your stuff. 

 “You know a lot about me.”

 “Like?”

 He tapped at the cover of the tape smiling at you. “That I got a thing for vamps too.” he winked, making you roll your eyes. “Besides, what better way to get to know each other better than with a nice ride home?”

 You let out a small sigh, unsure what the hell you were just about to agree to. But if he was cool enough to hang out with Dustin and his friends. Then you shouldn’t dwell too much on the simple favor. Right? 

 “It wouldn’t be trouble for you?”

 “You’re trouble, that’s for sure.” he chuckled. “But the ride isn’t.”

 The words sound all too familiar to you and you can’t help but blink a couple of times over at him. He’s not aware of the history of that nickname, and you hold back on telling him in favor of nodding your head. 

 “Let’s head out then.” you said instead.

 The next five minutes are left with you closing up the store with Eddie closely behind you. Talking about his recent venture out to Indianapolis for the weekend and how he’s excited to finally finish up the school year, again. 

 Oddly, you found yourself actually enjoying his company. It was sort of light spirited and completely free of problems. Something you haven’t had in a while. The only downside was playing down events that took part in the time you’ve dealt with the upside down. Like how you became close to Nancy and Jonathan. Or why Billy’s break up with you was a bigger deal and the fight he had with Steve. Or the damn mall fire. Everything had to be vague, but Eddie didn’t seem to mind. He actually enjoyed talking less about the heavy stuff and focusing instead on the more fun. 

 It was nice not to really think of the stresses you were bound to have this year and focus on silly things. Like what sort of bands Eddie listened to. 

 “So Iron Maiden isn’t a cool rock band led by girls?”

 “It’s like you’re musically inept outside of pop.” Eddie laughed as he parked his car just on the street of your house. You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction before you shrugged your shoulders. 

 “It’s not all pop. I like rock too.”

 “Really? You like rock. Like who?”

 “Joan Jett.” you said simply after thinking it over for a second. “She’s got killer makeup, great voice, good music. I love her songs. ” He raised a brow at you, almost waiting out to see if you were fibbing or not. 

 “She is pretty cool.” he agreed eventually before slapping gently at the wheel. “All right, that settles it. The Henderson family is officially a lot cooler than I expected.”

 “Oh?” you laughed. “You’re just figuring this out now?”

 “Not to mention you’re all so humble too.” 

 You playfully slapped his shoulder. “Don’t you forget it.” you smirked, reaching down to grab your bag from the floor. “Thank you for the ride and music lesson. I guess that means people from the Munson family are a lot nicer than I expected.”

 “Ahh, that stings a little.” he laughed, shaking his head. “But honestly, I think you should just say that the Munson family are nice to people like you.”

 “People like me?” you frowned, unsure what he meant exactly by that. “Care to elaborate?”

 “I would,” he said as he glanced towards your driveway. “But it’s late and a gentleman should never keep a lady from getting some sleep.”

 “Suddenly you’re a gentleman?”

 “Get out of my van.” he deadpanned, waving you off. “Here I am trying to charm you and you’re throwing me off with your quips.” 

 With a giggle you climbed down from the seat, ready to close the door after you when suddenly a thought came into mind. “Maybe we can hang out again?” you said softly, unsure of where you were going with this offer. “You can tell me what kind of person I’m like and maybe show me more of those groups you wouldn’t shut up about?”

 Eddie’s chest rose as he quickly sucked in some air. His brown eyes widened in shock before he quickly changed his face back to his familiar smile. “And you’d be okay hanging out with a creep like me?”

 “Wouldn’t be my first time.”

 He seemed to question that answer before he shrugged his shoulders. “You got a deal. I’ll uh, see you soon then.” He held up the VHS tape with a small smile. “That is if Chris Sarandon doesn’t get me.”

 “Oh that’s terrible.” You laughed, finding humor in his cheesy words. But instead of being embarrassed, he only grinned wider. Like that was the reaction he was looking for.

 “As long as it’s gotcha laughing.” He winked before changing the gear in his car. “Till next time, Princess!”

 You waved him off, waiting until he was turned around and back on the street before making your way up the driveway to your house. It’s odd but you found that you’re smiling genuinely about something for the first time in weeks. And it’s because of Eddie Munson of all people. Making a new friend must have been the thing you needed right now. Especially when you thought about how much you’d be laughing when you got to hang out with him again.

 “Your Aunt’s car looks a lot like Eddie Munson’s van.” said a voice suddenly, disrupting your thoughts. 

 It scared you a bit. Causing you to let out a small gasp as your head snapped towards the direction of the noise. 

 At your house stood Steve. Back resting against the front door with his head hung to keep his gaze downward and off from you. The gravel beneath your feet was the only noise as you slowly made your way over.

 “What are you doing here?” you asked slightly out of breath. Your composure was calm but the sight of Steve standing there had you feeling anxious. 

 “I drove by your house and noticed no one was home..was worried you’d still be stuck at the store.”

 “Oh.” 

 He pushed himself off the wall, closing the rest of the gap that kept you two apart. On his face was a look you weren’t quite place. Was it anger? Disappointment? Worry? Jealousy? 

 “I could’ve come back for you.”

 “Steve..” you sighed. He held up a hand, shaking his head as he seemingly tried to calm himself down. 

 “We wouldn’t have had to talk. It could have been just a ride. You’d have never needed to talk to Eddie Munson or get a ride from him.” 

 There’s a hint of disdain the way he dragged out Eddie’s name and you couldn’t help but sigh again. This was something you had worried about when Dustin had started to hang out with Eddie. The two were close these days. With how long that ridiculous game took, it’d be crazy for them to not have bonded by now. And while you knew deep down that your cousin could hold strong friendships with everyone. Steve did not.

 For a short while, Dustin was the closest thing he had to a best friend before Robin came into the picture. But the very idea of Steve hating a simple ride from Eddie threw you off.  

 “He came to rent a movie right when I tried calling home. Okay?” you crossed your arms, tilting your head a bit. “He’s a nice guy..he offered the ride when I told him I didn’t have a car.”

 “But I could have come. I would have.”

 “I didn’t want you to come.” You said slowly watching again as the bitter truth caused the hurt cut across Steve’s face. “We haven’t been alone in weeks. The silence would only make things..painful.”

 His head dropped quickly to look back to the ground while you wrapped your arms around yourself. This wasn’t the kind of shit you wanted to add to Steve’s list of problems. The break up was hard..period. But no matter how you go about things, you can’t stop this pain from coming in. 

 “I just wanted to make sure you were safe..” 

 “I know..thank you.” 

 He looked back up and raised a hand. Almost like he was going to reach out for you. And while you were dying to feel the touch of his skin again, doing that would probably only make things harder on the two of you. So without another thought, you took a step back from him. 

 His hand dropped quickly, stuffing into his pocket while he covered up his face with his other hand. Rubbing at the corners of his nose before he turned his gaze back towards the road. There was a glazed sort of look in his eyes. 

 “Right, so you’re here. I’ll just uh, head back home.” 

 You’re about to nod your head, but Steve didn’t even get the chance to see as he quickly turned and dashed away from your side. Moving towards the direction of the driveway. The sight of his retreating figure only hurt your chest even more as your thoughts were plagued with all the things he must be thinking right now. 

 The night of Tina’s Halloween party came into mind. The way he looked driving you home after hearing the truth from Nancy’s drunken confession. Before you know it, you’re chasing after him. 

 “Steve?” you called out when you reached close to his backside. He spun around quickly, almost bumping into you and causing you to fall back. But he quickly reached out to catch you. Cradling you close to his side until you were able to get your footing right.

 “Are you alright?” He asked, checking over you before he let go. His eyes were red and even if it weren’t cold you’d know it was from how he was probably feeling right now. 

 Reaching out, you couldn’t help but cup at his cheek. Watching as his eyes slipped close from the relaxing touch. It’s been weeks since either of you have been able to share this kind of comfort. An intimate moment that you shouldn’t be having with him. Not when things were already so hard. But just because things were over doesn’t mean the need to make sure Steve was okay could go away so easily. Especially when in moments like this, when he still meant the world to you.

 “I need time.” you said quickly, ignoring the worried voice in your head. 

 “Time?” he asked softly, eyes opening slowly to look down at you. The pad of your thumb brushed over his cheek and you could feel the warmth underneath. Your mind replays a supercut of all the moments you’ve felt that cheek. Kissing, against your own, against your body.

 God this was a mess. You were a mess.

 “I need time to feel comfortable around you again..I need to get over you, Steve. But I can’t do that if you’re still trying to be my hero..”

 “Hero.” he chuckled sadly, shaking his head from your gip. The brim of his eyes were red and he looked suddenly tired. “Never really did a good job of that, huh? Guess I’m supposed to be just your coworker now?”

 For a second you couldn’t speak. Only shaking your head no as you tried to reassure him that what he was thinking wasn’t true. He was everything to you. He could never be anything as casual as a coworker. But at the moment, you didn’t know what you could call Steve. He wasn’t your boyfriend, nor your enemy, and friend felt wrong. 

 “You’re just..Steve.”

 His throat bobbed. Like that was the worst answer he was expecting. And though you wanted to reach out again and pull him close, you couldn’t. Because this was just how things had to be. Just the two of you stuck in this limbo of love and loss. 

 “Right,” he said after a minute. “Just..Steve.”

 You opened your mouth, ready to apologize if what you said came off worse than you thought. But Steve quickly caught onto that and held a hand up, waving you off a bit. “I get it.” he said a bit curtly. “I’ll see you around, Hone–Troub– Henderson.”

 Again he’s gone from your side without a proper look at your reaction. He practically sprinted over to his car across the street, not once turning back. It was only a second after he pushed himself into his seat that his car was revving to life and leaving the block. 

 You waited out until you couldn’t see the taillights of his car before you forced yourself inside the house. 

 The usual warmth of your home wasn’t welcoming at all. All it reminded you was how cold you were feeling and no matter what, nothing could thaw out this permafrost that surrounded your heart. The empty house taunted you with the loneliness you were feeling. 

 That’s because you’re alone now. (Tick)

 “I’m not alone.” you whispered softly, making your way to your room.

 You will be. (Tock)

 FEBRUARY (VALENTINE’S DAY)

 It’s four weeks after that night in front of your house that you found yourself with Eddie Munson again. The two of you have changed simple hang outs into make outs,then into something else you couldn’t quite place. This night in particular, you found yourself knocking on his trailer door after work. 

 “Fuck, don’t stop.” Eddie groaned.

 The two of you were sitting on the dingy couch. Some loud tv show playing in the background as you straddled Eddie’s strong thigh. It’s been like this for a while now. What was originally just a chance to makeout with someone you trusted on Valentine’s day. Turned into Eddie flirting with you and you eventually feeling the need to make up for his lack of dating life. 

 It was Valentine’s day and you had unfortunately worked the night shift over at Family Video. Something you would have been pissed about last year. But considering the current changes in your love life, you didn’t have the room to be too upset. Especially when you found out you worked with Robin. That gave the two of you five hours to complain about how complicated love was. 

 Kind of like how your relationship with Eddie had turned from friends to..complicated.

 “God, you’re so whiny.” you smirked, pausing the movements of your hands. You glanced down to his lap, getting another look at the size of Eddie’s cock. It was red and hard against the base of his stomach. Weeping from the tip from the few strokes you had given him. It was only the second time you’ve done this with Eddie and you’re still stunned by how he gets from a simple handjob.

 “Shut up.” he gritted, letting his head sag back against the couch. “If you’d have any idea how good you are at this, you’d be just as desperate too.” The ego boost does something to you, and you quickly lean in to press your lips roughly against his. Causing the boy to let out a loud groan before he fought back. 

 The kiss was so different from your past boyfriends. Billy had always been so dominant, taking what he wanted without thinking too much if you liked it or not. Steve’s was sweet, hot, and romantic. As if it were the last kiss on Earth. And Eddie’s was fierce. Like he wanted you to remember him hours later.

 The tip of his tongue poked through your lips, brushing against yours as he deepened the kiss. His hand went down from your neck to grab at your hips. Pulling you closer into his lap. It made your head spin a bit but you pulled back enough to tighten your grip around his cock. Picking up the pace with your wrist. During times like this, Eddie never lasted long. He was already riding high from just kissing, and with the added teasing he’d never make it long.

 His other arm moved to grip at your thigh. Digging his fingers with every jerk that his hips gave as he reached closer to his climax. He jerked his leg up, giving you a slight sensation between your legs as you straddled him. While small, the touch was stimulating enough to have your eyes fluttering a bit. It’s been a while since you’ve really let anyone get you this aroused but you’re finding it hard not to roll your hips.

 “That is, princess.” he cooed, making your face get a hot flush. “Let me make you feel good.”

 The dirty words had your head spinning a bit and you pulled back enough to stick your face into his neck. Sucking lightly against the vein on his neck while continuing to jerk your wrist. Eddie’s breathing began to grow louder. 

 “Yes, fuck, please don’t stop.” Eddie rasped, letting the wrecked voice send a chill up your back. It pleased you to know you had this boy at the mercy of your hands. Moving your hand and wrist faster now in order to work him over. You made sure to use your long nails at the sensitive skin of his cock, causing Eddie to whimper whenever it was dragged closer to his slit.

 He moved to rest his face against your neck, pressing soft kisses at your skin while his other hand moved to cup at your breast. The only material keeping him from touching your warm skin being the bra you managed to keep on during his fondling earlier. 

 The gentle squeezing plus the ridge on his thigh you were rolling on hit just the right spot to have you letting out a moan yourself. Unfortunately, with how close Eddie was, there wasn’t going to be a chance for you to come with him. 

 “Come for me, Ed.” you whispered into his ear, another shudder falling from him. Stopping your rolling, you gave the base of his cock one good squeeze before jerking at a quicker pace. 

 The base of his member twitched in your hands and when Eddie let go of your breast, you watched in awe as he gripped to your hips, focusing down at your movements before he let out a loud guttural moan. 

 Ropes of white hot cum began to shoot out from the slit of his cock, coating your hand as you carefully continued with the jerking motion. It wasn’t until you watched as Eddie’s head fell back from ecstasy that you gently let go of him. 

 The mess before you doesn’t help with your sudden unattended arousal, but you remove yourself anyway. Quietly letting him know you were going to clean yourself off. The water quickly washed away all the remnants of your night and you quickly glanced up to fix up your appearance. The sight of your necklace quickly stole your attention.

 The small single ‘S’ sitting on the middle of your chest brought a pang of guilt to your chest. You hadn’t taken off the necklace since the night Steve gave it to you. Something that was probably wrong considering what you were just doing with Eddie. But wearing it brought you a sense of comfort that you couldn’t bring yourself to give up. 

 After you got yourself together, you emerged from the bathroom to find Eddie was still on the couch. He was tucked back in his pants but still with the belt unbuckled as he continued to catch his breath. A small snicker fell past your lips and you quickly covered your mouth when his eyes turned to look over at you. 

 “It’s not funny.” he frowned, trying not to smile at your amusement. “I’m literally a mess and you’re looking over at me with that goofy grin on your face.”

 “My face is never goofy.” you said as a matter of fact, hand reaching up to gently hold onto the necklace. “If anything, it’s your position that’s goofy.”

 Eddie held a hand up, pretending to mimic your voice through his hand while you moved towards the couch. It was a struggle to find your sweater amongst the mess of the room, especially when you just threw it behind you earlier. But before you could bend over to pick up the item, Eddie had climbed up from the couch to you. 

 Placing his hands gently at your hips so that he could have you face him. “Let me make you feel good, Princess. I know you didn’t get to come.” he said softly, rubbing his thumbs on the bare expanse of your stomach. 

 It hurt to look up into Eddie’s eyes. They were warm and so full of a genuine interest in you. Like you were the only person he cared to look at. It made moments like this confusing. Where your mind knew that this would make you feel right and move on, but something in your heart made it hard to follow through it. 

 Letting go of the necklace, you reached out to cup the side of Eddie’s face. Letting your thumb brush across the apple of his cheek before you gently pressed a kiss. “I’m fine.” you said softly, getting out of his grip to reach for the sweater. From the side of your eyes, you could see that Eddie was watching you as you pulled the material over your head.

 From his calmness you knew where this conversation was going to go. It’s not the first time Eddie’s pointed out an offer nor would it likely be his last.

 “Hey,” he coughed softly, shuffling awkwardly closer so he could rest a hand against your arm. “I didn’t mean to put you off.” Calmly you moved over to place yours on top, rubbing soothingly in hopes to get that worried look off his face.

 “It’s okay.” you said softly, not really having the courage to tell him what you were thinking. “Like I said, I’m fine with what we’re doing now.”

 Eddie reached out and gently brushed a hair away from your face. “Are you?” he asked slowly. “Or..are you I don’t know, nervous? I mean shit, I’m more than grateful for what we do now..and labels are shit. But if you’re wanting to be something more official in order to feel comfortable doing more then I’m more than happy to–”

 “I like us being friends, Eddie.” you cut in. Scared for what words might come out next. You weren’t ready for that kind of talk. “Even if what we’re doing is not the most normal thing friends do. I like just hanging out and having fun.”

 There’s a flicker of something in Eddie’s eyes. Like he might have wanted a different answer. But he threw you his signature goofy smile and leaned in to press a mushy, rough kiss to your lips. Causing you to laugh against his hold. 

 “Sounds good to me, Princess. Now I’ve kept you stuck in this dump long enough. You should probably head off home.”

 You turned your watch over, noting that while it was a little bit late, it wasn’t the worst you’ve come home at. But since Eddie’s Uncle might be coming home soon, it’d probably be easier to leave now than stick around and dance around the friends with semi benefits relationship.

 “I’ll see you later, Eddie. You rest up.” you smiled, taking a step back from him. He chuckled at that, waving you off as you quickly made your way out the trailer door. The residents of Forest Hills trailer park were quiet that night. A dark and eerie chill going up your spine as you made your way over to your Aunt’s car. Across the way you glanced towards Max’s trailer. 

 The majority of her lights were all off aside from one flickering light from the main front window. Things had been rough for her lately. Ever since her stepdad took off and her Mother started working two jobs just to keep a roof over their heads. Things haven’t been the easiest. Especially with the sudden downsizing in lifestyle.

 You wished you could make things easier. But honestly, you didn’t have much you could say to Max that you thought would make her feel better. The events of the summer battle caught up to her and she began to close everyone off. Including you. 

 She was protecting herself from others. Every approach was met with a cold wall that you couldn’t crack. No matter what you or her friends did, she was a different girl now. She was here in Hawkins but her mind was somewhere else. And if you were being honest, you’d say that you were starting to feel the same.

 Your mind was busy focusing on other things like school, work, and your new thing with Eddie. But your heart wasn’t in it. Not the way it should be. It was permanently stuck in a loop of being unable to enjoy the new life you were making for yourself. All because of a boy in Loch Nora who still had power over it.

 Which was where you were now.

 Through the lush houses of the neighborhood and up the driveaway of the path that led to the Harrington household. You’ve been there so many times, but for the first ever you’re nervous to be there. You shouldn’t be here. 

 And you definitely shouldn’t be getting out of the car to walk to the front door. And you really shouldn’t be knocking..

 It only took Steve about a minute to come up to the door. He was more cleaned up since the last time you saw him. His hair was a little shorter, and there was a noticeable little bit of stubble on his lips. Almost like he’s debating whether or not to grow a mustache or not. It’s kind of nice..

 “Hey, you okay?” Steve asked worriedly. His brown eyes looked over your body, almost like he was checking to make sure you weren’t hurt. It was a little embarrassing. You didn’t mean to make him come down to the door, let alone be suddenly worried about you. 

 “I’m sorry…I just ended up here.” you whispered finally. Not really able to think of a better excuse to say. “I should go.” 

 He quickly stopped you by reaching out for your hand. It’s almost like an electric shock to have such contact from him again but you don’t dare let go of his warmth just yet. 

 “What’s wrong?”

 “Nothing.” you shook your head. “I just wanted to–”

 “See me?” He asked softly.

 You look at him for a long time. Feeling such an overwhelming amount of unsurety. Steve was someone who managed to wedge himself into your trust again. He earned it. But right now you were finding yourself struggling to be fully open to him. The thoughts running through your head were leading to a place where you two couldn’t go down. Not when things were so different now. 

 “It’s Valentine’s day,” you said lamely, wincing a bit at the dumb words that quickly came into mind. “D-did you go out?..”

 “You drove all the way over to my house to ask me that?”

 “..yes.” you lied, not needing him to know it was more like an impulsive need to see him tonight than some random inquiry.

 Steve looked a little bit taken back. Probably not quite believing the answer, but eventually went ahead and nodded his head. “Yeah,” he said honestly, to your heart’s dismay. “Uh, with Molly Stevens. I knew her from school last year.” 

 Nodding your head, you tried to control the jealousy that started to fill up in your throat. You have absolutely no right to feel this way about Steve. None whatsoever. But the very idea of him out with another girl brought up such a venom to your throat. 

 “Did you guys..” you waved your arms in front of you in a mindless motion. Stupidly unable to speak the words you’re dreading to hear. Steve looked only slightly amused as he crossed his arms over his chest like he’s caught you in your lie. The dark green shirt looked tight on his biceps, distracting you from that fact very quickly. 

 “No.” he answered simply. “Didn’t feel right.”

 “Right.” you nodded, letting out a small sigh of relief. “That’s um..good. I mean, not good but it’s um—“

 “And what about you?” He interrupted, raising a brow to you. “Did you go out?”

 “I worked tonight..” 

 He turned his wrist over, frowning down at the time his watch displayed to him. “It’s eleven thirty. Store closed at ten.”

 “I may have..gone to hang out with a friend.”

 “With Eddie.” he corrected.

 “Yes.”

 His lips pursed a bit before he took a step closer to you. Pushing your back to rest against the threshold of his door. “And did you guys..?”

 “No, not that.” You said evenly, gauging his reaction. “..but something like it.”

 For a moment Steve looked stunned. Like the words froze him in place. Now that previous venom is turning into guilt. He didn’t even do anything besides go out on an innocent date and here you were ready to burn Hawkins to find her. Meanwhile you were the one actually doing more with another guy.

 For someone that didn’t want to hurt Steve, you sure did so easily. 

 “I’m sorry.. I should go.” You whispered, feeling like you’ve put the guy through enough as of lately. Before you could fully turn around Steve had already reached out for your hand, keeping you in place. 

 The look on his face isn’t the same sad one you saw flicker moments before. It was determined now. Like he was fully trying to understand what you were saying before him. Carefully, he leaned down to press his face inches before yours. The small fan of his sigh brushed over your face. 

 The closeness should make you nervous. It should make you want to step back. But you’re curious to what he would say next.

 “So you mess around with Munson and still end up at my doorstep?” He asked softly. There’s a slight darkness in his tone that should warn you how bad an idea this is. But again, you ignored it. “Did he not make you feel good?”

 “He made me feel..fine.” you whispered back. Not sure how much you want to deep dive into whatever it is you and Eddie were doing. Turning your head up a bit, you peered up at him, placing your hand to rest gently on Steve’s chest to both keep him from getting closer and to get a chance to feel his heartbeat. 

 “Just fine? Not good?”

 “Steve,” you sighed. “We shouldn’t be talking about this.”

 But your words only encouraged him to pull you inside of his home. Keeping an arm hugging at the side of your waist as he pressed your back against the closed door. The personal space is gone out the window now that he’s able to wedge himself between your legs. 

 It’s painfully embarrassing how your body is instinctively trying to wrap around him. But you managed to keep your flat back against the door and legs unwrapped from his waist. But Steve seemed to be aware of your inner dilemma, moving to press himself even closer. 

 “He doesn’t make you feel good, honey?” He said finally, moving his face down your face to your neck. 

 The old nickname had your body shuddering. It’s been too long since you’ve heard it. This was definitely not the way you thought the conversation would go. But you’re struggling to find a way out of it. 

 “What I’m feeling isn’t your concern anymore..” 

 “Oh, it definitely is”. His hand slid down your waist, down to your hip, the tip of his fingers nearly diving past the waistband of your jeans. He casually rubbed his thumb underneath the hem of your shirt. “I want you feeling better than just fine.”

 “Yeah?” you asked softly, moving your hands to place against his shoulders now. They were itching to wrap around his neck, but you reminded yourself to keep from making things messier. Not that Steve seemed to care as he slid closer into the small space you had before. 

 “I want you to feel great.” he leaned down to your ear, pressing a kiss to the spot beneath your earlobe before he finished. “Actually, I want you feeling so fucked out of your mind that you wouldn’t dare go to another man’s house after fooling around with me.”

 There’s a darkness in Steve’s words but not one you’re afraid of. In fact, you’re excited. It had your heart racing and core growing so hot that you had to slightly rub your thighs together from the excitement. “Is t-that all?” you managed to ask, unable to think of a better response. 

 “That's all I want right now.”

 It’s hard not to feel that familiar spark that fires up your body when around Steve. You were feeling embarrassingly desperate for it at this point as you pulled him down towards you. “We shouldn’t be doing this. We’re broken up for a reason..”

 “It’s a bad idea.” he agreed, brushing his lips carefully down your neck. He seemed to catch the sparkle of the gold chain around your neck and followed down the line to where the S laid on your chest. He then gently placed a soft kiss against it.

 “We’re being so incredibly stupid right now.” you gasped, feeling his lips graze up again. 

 Though the tender touches were setting a blaze to your skin, it wasn’t quite satisfying the ache growing inside of you now. In fact, it was setting your whole body into a desperate, needy, frenzy. 

 “I gotta be honest with you, baby.” He said calmly.

 “Honest?” you gulped, failing to get yourself to cool down.

 “I really don’t care if we’re being stupid.” 

 Something took over you and you moved your hands up to grab hold of the hair at the nape of his neck. Pulling back so that you could get a good look at him. The browns in his eyes were gone and he looked at you with such a desire that you could feel yourself get embarrassingly aroused. 

 You should stop this. You should push him away and leave his house. Because there had to be something more important in life than having sex with Steve Harrington right now.

 But you really couldn’t remember what.

 “Fuck it.” You sighed shooting forward to press your lips against his. He didn’t waste his chance at all and wrapped his arms around. Using the palms to push down your lower back to press your chest closer to him. 

 At some point there’s a struggle with moving past the door and breaking the kiss apart. When air was needed, Steve quickly pulled back, pressing quick pecks to your lips before he turned to drag you up the stairs. Each step had your heart beating faster as you focused your sights on the warm glow coming out his bedroom door. Anticipation washing over you for whatever was going to happen next. 

 Once the two of you were in, he quickly shut the door behind him with the kick of his foot. Only giving you a second to catch your breath before he rushed over to capture your lips again.

 “Tell me,” he said against your lips. His hands were already working on your clothes, shedding them off with no problem. “Tell me you want this.”

 “I want this.” you said pulling back, moving to cup the sides of his face. “I want you.”

 For a second it looked like Steve wanted to say something else, but you pushed to press your lips back together. Capturing up any words he had in order to get back into the greedy need that had been building up. 

 Then after that, there’s nothing else left. Just you and Steve.

 The clock besides Steve’s bed ticked softly as you lay in his arms. It’s only been a short amount of time since the two of you had your fun and you can feel how Steve is easily relaxed against you. Letting his hands rub over your bare skin while he held you close. 

 It should make you worried. Things between you two were over. You both made it that way. But the soft kisses he was pressing against your arm and neck were too distracting. The feeling of completeness was too good to give up so quickly. And with the way Steve keeps pausing to give you looks, you think he might be thinking the same. 

 What could either one of you do? It’s been such a long attempt to get over him but all you can feel is yourself falling again with every touch. If anything, you think you might be even more in love with him after this. 

 You think back to the night where Eddie dropped you off. It felt like Steve was done with you. But like yourself, one night of giving into each other’s needs seemed to fill you both with an urge neither of you could quite get rid of just yet. 

 His hand reached out to cup at the side of your face. Bringing your attention back to him again before he kissed you.

 “Stay.” he said in between kissing you and down your cheek. No part of your face or body was left unscathed from his pink plump lips. You reveled in the sensation. Melting into his hold and allowing your body to relax again. It’s all you’ve missed these past few weeks. But even in Steve’s affection care, the worry of the real world sets in quickly with you. 

 “I can’t.” You said sadly. “It’s getting late.”

 “Who cares? It’s Friday night.” he replied, kissing even more now that he realized it has some sort of effect on your emotions. “You don’t even work tomorrow, I do.”

 “Your parents will be home soon, won’t they?”

 “They love you. Might even wanna take you out for breakfast.” You pulled back to give him a knowing look. He smirked a little bit before he rolled his eyes. “Okay, they’d freak out, but we’ll be quiet.”

 “I drove in my Aunt’s car..” you laughed, but turned to shuffle closer to him in the bed. He reached over to grab the back of your leg, moving your thigh now to drape over his waist. It brought your bare body dangerously close to his but he kept things tame for now. Moving to rub the palm of his hand on the round of your behind.

 “She can get it towed.”

 Rolling your eyes at his convenient answer, you pushed at his chest lightly. Attempting to get out of his warm hold but he changed to bring his arm back up to wrap around your waist, locking you in place. 

 “I’ll call the shop myself.”

 “Steve..” 

 Not wanting you to continue with the inevitable truth, he pressed his lips back onto yours. Shutting up the conversation and forcing you both to enjoy this fluke of a night. You give in to him, if only for a moment.

 It’s unfair how this is the most comfortable you’ve felt in days and it’s because you’re in his arms. But as soon as you begin to wonder why it’s like this, you remember how it felt to be in his arms that night. And how incredibly crushing it felt when you pulled away. So you made the kiss count until you eventually pulled away.

 His lips turned down into a pout. Which you forced yourself to ignore as you rolled out of the bed. A shiver hitting over yourself when you left the comforts of his warm side. Reaching down on the ground, you gather up the forgotten pieces of clothing you two discarded when you came into the room. 

 By the time you’ve got your outfit presentable and ready to go, Steve has moved to sit on the edge of his bed. Only a pair of boxers covering up his body now. He extended a hand out to you and you find yourself easily slipping it inside his. You hate how it feels perfect there. 

 “I want you..” He said, low and soft. Like he was almost afraid to say the words out loud.

 “I know,” you sighed, pulling the hand up towards your lips to press gentle kisses at his fingertips. “You always wanna go again.” 

 A frown flickered over his face, like he wasn’t quite looking for that answer. But he doesn’t say anything else, choosing instead to take your hand and lead you out the room and back downstairs to the front door again. 

 “Can I ask you something?” He asked nervously once the two of you were at the threshold. 

 “Yeah, of course.” 

 He paused for a second, looking deep into your eyes before he spoke again. “Did you come over on the pretense of having sex? Or because you really wanted to see me?” 

 A small pang of guilt began to build up in your chest again tonight. Reaching for his hand, you reached out to place it against your chest. Almost hoping that he’d feel the sincerity of your words through your heartbeat.  

 “I was thinking about you on the drive home.” you said trying not to reveal just how much you were actually thinking about him. He didn’t know the pathetic way you were still in love with him. “I didn’t even realize I had shown up here until I was at your door. It was like I needed to see you tonight.” 

 A small creeped on his face at your reply. He took the words as permission to press his lips against yours once more. Like always, it made your mind foggy and breath short. “Then tell your thoughts to think of me again tomorrow? Maybe after work?” he said, pulling away to return his gaze.

 You should say no and remind him that tonight was a fluke. A misstep on your attempts to move on from each other. But your body is unwilling to listen to your logic and instead chooses to nod your head. Making Steve’s small smile turn into a grin that has you trying to remember when was the last time you saw it.

 “Goodnight, Trouble.” He said softly, holding the door open for you.  

 “Goodnight.” You mumbled still a bit love-struck. 

 He waited at the door until you were in your car and waving off. The enticing view of Steve’s house eventually faded and you managed to get your brain working again in order to get home. The tv is playing some romance film for your Aunt and you bashfully wish her a goodnight as you floated to your bedroom. Still on the Steve induced high. It wasn’t until you flopped over your bed, brushing your fingertips over your kissed lips that Dustin decided to come in. A similar goofy grin on his face as he held out a Hershey’s kiss to you. 

 “Happy Valentine’s Day.” 

 “You’re in a good mood.” You snorted, taking the candy. “What were you up to tonight?”

 “Just got off the radio with Suzie.” He said with a dreamlike sigh. “She read out sonnets to me.” 

 “That’s sweet. You rode all the way up to that hill to talk to her?”

 “Hill?” He snorted before he remembered. “Oh! That hill. No, Steve spent most of the night helping me set up this new ham radio in my room.” 

 You shot up from your bed, looking at your cousin with a confused frown. “Wait, Steve was here?” You asked. “In our house?”

 “Yeah,” he confirmed. “He came around the time you left for work. Hung out with me all night until like an hour and a half ago. Didn’t even get to thank him before he dashed out of here.”

 Your mind was suddenly wrecked with a thousand thoughts. Why would Steve lie about going out? Why would he invite you in after hearing about Eddie? He didn’t have to lie about going out on a date, not with you. It’s not like you’d have judged him for taking things slow. Lord know you didn’t have the right to. Was he waiting to see if you’d come home from work all this time? Did he know you’d go to his house? So many questions without any chance of an answer came to you.

 “That was really nice of him...” you said softly, looking down at the candy.

 “Yup. That’s Steve for ya.” he replied matter of fact. “Makes you maybe wanna consider things, right?”

 Dustin’s attempt to mend the two of you hasn’t gone unnoticed these past couple of weeks. He wasn’t too aware of all the details. You and Steve never dived into it with him. Not wanting to ruin the relationship with the boy for either one of you. He was uncharacteristically neutral for the most part, but you knew that he was secretly hoping for some sort of reconciliation. 

 “Goodnight, Dustin.” you said instead, cutting the conversation short. He let out a big sigh before nodding his head, waving over at you before he closed up the door behind him. You kicked off your shoes, laying back onto your bed with only one thought running through your mind. 

 What were you going to wear tomorrow night?

A/N: HI GUYS I MISSED YOU. So sorry for the long awaited update. I struggled so hard to make this break up real but also angsty and drama filled? I don’t feel too confident in it, but there’s so much left in the season to work with so I hope you guys enjoy this. 

[fisheito]

wanted to get my thots about mirage of scales in one place so let's go thru this thang again and see if i can ,like, feel things

(gonna list my highlights of each story section so yes, it's gonna be. long.

FIRST OF ALL, WHAT A POWERPLAY TO SHOW US THE SCALE RELIC AS EACH PART OF THE EVENT PROGRESSES ooooh i was getting so excited when the relic was clearing up but they HURT ME IN THE SECOND HALF

WHY IS IT TURNING BLUE. NO. NO DO NOT DO THIS . DO NOT !I SWEAR TO DDOG MAKE IT GO BACK *bacskspacebackspacebackspace*

then Scales-13 is sitting there all glittery and sooo pretty upon a plush purple cushion like wooow isn't that nice?? look! we made the scale so shiny and vibrant and it's got lively streams of beautiful wisps-- NO SHUT UP DON'T HSOW ME THAT 😭i'M GONNA THROW THAT THING BACK INTO THE SEA (now i'm wondering why they made the final cushion purple. i mean, yes, purple simply does not miss, and it is the most regal of hues, but also. puplelkl? kuya? he's propping up umi in his last act? hm. hmm.)()

Let's get tooo ittt

SCALES - 1

Eiden, yaku, and oli looking for recipes together = me kicking my legs and giggling, looking adoringly, eyes sparkling, soaking in the warm softness and comfort of it all, rolling around in my eternal fascination for finding new things to eat

kuya: lol u thought *(kicks down the fluff with his chunky heels* yakumo: {={pP=P=PPEOPLE EAT YOKAI MEEEAT????!??!?!! kuya: :) oli: dont be scare lil buddy it's just an outdated rumour 💦 kuya: bet u they used to eat them with forks made out of their victims' spines yakumo: {{{{SHAKING}}}}}}

I SWEAR THE MOMENT I SAW THEM INVITE OLIVINE

I KNEW LOGICALLY THAT THEY WEREN"T GONNA HAVE OLI IN THE EVENT BUT IDK MY DISBELIEF WAS SO SUSPENDED AND MY DREAMS WERE SO LOFTY THAT MY HOPE SOMEHOW SKYROCKETED AND I GOT SO EXCITED FOR OLI TO SAY YES

CURSE YOU UNSPECIFIED TEMPLE THINGS!!!! TKAING MY JOY AWAY!!!!

nvm my joy returns thanks to the hilarity of oli's referral i like to think that these two developed a mutual understanding during elysium so oli , with a respecvt for kuya, offers him up as a worthwhile companion..? alternative.lyy, oli trolling like, i don't want kuya stirring up trouble without eiden around (because the universe knows how much of a sulk he'll go thru without his fave plaything around) and the old man is just fidgeting in the corner looking so bored and jUST waITING for someone to invite him on a little trip so why don't i take initiative here ✨✨ invite him for you ✨✨✨

maybe one day i'll get a yakuyoli event11..... one... one day.......... *deflates(*

SCALES - 2

surprised that peepaw endured an entire boat journey without setting the thing on fire. my headcanon that he gets seasick or whatever is shot down. alas. he CAN stand on a boat and not vomit all over the poopdeck. my jokes are in shambles. fine. maybe he got better after all his boat trips with huey. you win this time, foxyboy......

once again, my stupid little optimism was sOOOOOO glad to have the village chief interrupt the villagers hostility to be like "heeeyyy it's ok.... we're not used to strangers but we should let these guys help with the ceremony" i went, oh!!! maybe the elder is indeed wiser than the masses!! and he'll help talk sense into these xenophobic ppl!! ahahaha. oh, me. naive as the snake....... anywa.y.

eiden, i love you for being such an excellent mediator. you speak for the shy but easily shutdown-able yaku and the "first resort: burn it down" lavender diva. thank you for existing, and being here, and knowing words. lov e u. mwah.

SCALES - 3 i ahte these villagers but i love their fabricular gifts unto us (the event outfits) amen. thanks. brb getting yakumo that light rainproof jacket that he will surely need because he's cold all the time probably .

i am now of the belief that not ALL the vilalgers were pure megadouches. some of them had the foresight to offer *just the right* fits for the three of them. Or maybe they just grabbed 3 vaguely-similar-sized outfits and threw them at eiden, who then got to choose which one kuya/yakumo wore ..... what if it ended up switched and kuya got the fish bikini abnd yakumo got the fluttery deity gear? ...gonna think about that for a while.

SCALES - 4 once again, i was delusional when i thought that kuya was the one to jump into the water to save the kid. inhuman speed? yeah sure kuya can do that! saving a child? uhh,, maybe kuya would do that... if there were no witnesses? saving a human child? uhhhhhhhhhhh ok maybe not kuya why did i even think it would be kuya. he's got his fancy threads on (that eiden might have handpicked) . no way is he getting those wet

it's cvuzz i didn't expect THEIIS THIS!!!!!!

BRO WHAT YALL NEVE R MAKE NPCs LIKE THIS by which i mean this guy is protagonist coded and yall have only been making neutral-to-evil NPCs with a few exceptions lik.e. water consul. l(whispers: love u) so now you're presenting me with NPC, who has a FACE, and FEATURES, and just SAVED A RANDOM CHILD, AND HE'S BEAUTIFUL? ofdmgidrefgsjidokrdglsjrdhgsoliioldjeiuirhedkjsda let me stare at him please can i add you to my collection i promise i'll give u only the qualityest of feed. what do u want. bloodworms? live snails? fresh crab? I'll fight those crabs for you. i'll pick their finicky flesh from their carapace. whatever you want i'll get it for you

i'll never tire of this, btw. eiden, who is just a guy, trying his best to be approachable and nonintimidating with gorgeous dudes decorating him like a wreath. it's fine. everything's normal. no need to be alarmed, hydrodynamic stranger

and for the second time this event, yakumo's yokai sense tingles and kuya offers a (patronising?) "GOOD FOR YOOOOUUUUU guess you're not completely human-washed after all"

SCALES - 5 girl, what?

for a solid minute i thopught we got ourselves into another cult situation like, lining yakumo and eiden up for human sacfirice or smth. toss em into an active volcano style i just thought PLEASE SIR NOT THIS AGAIN WE CANNOT LET YAKUMO BECOME A CULT MAGNET HE'S GOT ENOUGH TRAUMA FROM THAT

....then they end up just putting their hands on the fish scale to make a wish and i feel a bit of relief that this isn't going into maiden sacrifice territory

THE SCREAM I SMERCEAMT

IT"S HAPEPPPNIGNINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG THE SCALES ARE OUTTTTTTT NO WAY YOU GONNA PUT KUYA AND YAKUMO IN AN EVENT TOGETHER AND NOT TOUCH ON THEIR ANIMAL SIDES I WOULD RIOT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY BETTER ALSO TOUCH ON THIS IN THE INTIMACY ROOMS YOU CAN'T JUST CREATE A SPRITE FOR THAT AND NOT USE IT OUTSIDE THE STORY I'M ONTO YALL YOU'RE GONNA COME THROUGH I JUST KNOW IT YESSAAAHSHSHSHHHH o wait yakumo's in pain and the villageres are about to berserk ok focus stop projecting into the whateer we gotta FOCUS ahahahaha look at em scramble around all scared of scaly yakumo

no. go back to being panic. no brazen. do not eene cen THINK o fit

[[they surround yakuei]] NOT THIS AHGTIJT AGAIN oh thank heavens ok at least the village chief is semi reasonable . not immediate bloodshed. we're fine. probably.

SCALES - 6 eiden: yakumo!! how are you feeling!! that relic really messed you up, huh? yakumo: getting away from it helped. my skin's back to normal me: 😒tsk.

and of course kuya is not going to be a convenient plot device and HELP YOU out of a situation. no. he's gonna lounge in a tree somewhere and watch umi be a Very Good Lad and sneak you out of house arrest. dreamy sigh. thank you magic jailbreaker umi!!!!!!

and all it took was umi acknowledging yakumo's existence for me to hop back on the yakubicycle ring the bell dingding!!! all aboard!!!! UMI GET ON !!WE GOT A BOY TO GRIND INTO DUST *slaps a helmet on him* *makes my YakUmi dolls touch tails*

and of course

kuya switching between "ok little one i'm about to give you the schooling of a lifetime because CLEARLY you don't understand how this savage world works" and "oohhhh how could i, a humble little fox of generic stature and lineage, possibly measure up to the greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgrandchild of the Biggest Snake Ever? oh nooooo. i'm but a widdle boy. don't look to me for answers :3" sassy little......

SCALES - 7 yakumo: what,, what if we all just hugged and held hands with the humans??? umi: 😔 kuya: lol nah get a load of this *turns on the projector so that horrifying visions of the past play on the walls* eiden, yakumo, umi: 😨😨😨 MY FISH FRIENDS! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -> had to lie down for several moments after this section. dude.... the massacre... the one-sidedness... th savagery o f those indigenous to the island... euuuuuuuggrrrhhhhhhhhhhrhrhhrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *holds a tiny umi in my palm* WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO... WHEN YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCE IS AT ODDS WITH HISTORY... WHEN YOU LIVED FOR SO LONG PROTECTING THE DESCENDANTS OF PEOPLE WHO DID THIS TO UR ANCESTORS... WHO MAY NOT HAVE COMMITTED THE CRIMES THEMSELVES BUT THEY DON'T ... do they try to atone for it? did they learn from it? does it matter?? jdoSJDAUDAWKDJAWWLAWWOPAEWAEPORL:FKS

oh frick story is happening wait recalibrating

villagers: THEY'VE COME FOR OUR BLOOD yakumo: (visibly shaking) i don't hate humans!! i... i've never wanted to hurt humans! please, we may be different, but-- kuya: (smiling while the storm rages around him)

me: steadily inching toward kuya in terms of "i agree with this one i'm kinda excited to see yall suffer"

>!>!>!>>!??!?!?!?!??! YAKUMO??? WHAT R YOU DOING??? DID YOU JUST MAKE A GIANT SHIELD?!?!?!?!?!?!? BABY BOY WHAT IS WITH YOU AND THE SHIELD.S. YOU ARE SUCH A SHIELDER. DIDN'T YOU DO THIS RECENTLY IN THE STORY WITH BERSERKER OLI? OHHHhh, i'm so proud of you you couldn't have done this 2 years ago!! you've come so far in terms of essence control and you're always using it to protect people you're doing so good and i-- CLIFF HANGER??!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!

a moment to breathe, if you (i) please. a moment to consider: what does yakumo's shield technique look like? hm/ / . more on that later.

SCALES - 8

WAHT IOSWRONG WITH YOU!!! DUMBASSES!!!!!! no, not dumahzsss. estupido. gonk. IDIOTA

YEAH!FILL THEIR LUNGS WITH SOUR GUMMIES, EIDEN

WHAT IS WRORNG WITH YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

THESE ppl are so incredibly stupid that i cannot even fathom............ this boy is saving yalls asses with a giant shield (tbh, if he can make such a giant shield he could have chosen to make a smaller bubble shield or smth that only saved eiden/kuya/umi . but he consciously chose to protect ALL of u)

YAKUMO MAY HAVE MERCY ON YOU BUT I WON'T *clambers over the giant wave with my supersoaker full of piss and who-knows-what-else-concoction*

SCALES - 9 imaginging umi sneaking into the lighthouse at night to feed the fish scale his lil blood drips like a pet a pet thats keeping all these ungrateful humans alive

umi: um. why is it doing that. *points to village chief kneeling befor ehim* kuya: what did i mcfkin tell you. humans suck eiden: hella yakumo: my worl d is crashing down was mmy life a lie can humans and yokai really coexist with each other ? yes of course they have to be able to there's no way that humans are evil and to doom them would be too cruel-, adn yet how will the complicated history between umi's ancestors and- umi: i'm not sure how i can help kuya: i mean it's totally your choice. what does it matter to me ? you can do wahetevr you want and ultimately, it's not like any of our opinions matter because nature will reclaim us as it so forcefully reclaims all. why fuss over such trivial decisions when we are but pawns of fate. but yeah. killing them sounds pretty peachy right now ngl

SCALES - 10

you are too nice umi the paths that require the least amount of effort from you will let the villagers wipe themselves out

the fact that kuya is willing to drop the origins of the relic and how to potentially make a new one?? i guess he's not being such a hermit crab about info... so he's being generous in his own way by sharing knowledge... and umi can make an informed decision.

i gotta say that i was mini-spoiled on this part of the story, compeltely by accident on someone else's part... there were multiple tumblr ppl posting about their reactions to the story and going "IF UMI DIES I'M GONNA BE SO ANGRY" and i, living in a lala ideal world of my own, had never even CONSIDERED that a possibility but once i read other's fears about that potential future i was like NOOOOOOOOO AND NOW THEY'RE GIVING UMI AN OPTION *LIKE THIS* OH NO OH NO OH NO THEY'RE REALLY GONNA DO IT THEY'R EACTUALLY GONNA KILL A NICE NPC WHY WOULD YOU BLESS ME WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL FISH AND TAKE HIM AWAY FOR SOMETHING AS STUPID AS A PROMISE OR WHATEVER

SCALES - 11 cheering, whooping, hollering as kuya sets the village chief on fire

umi: i;'ll protect these humans with my own blood because i loved one centuries ago yakumo: humans have been kind to me so i'll protect them from a tsunami even when they're threatening my life kuya: idiots. babies. sentimental little fetus yokai. let me bring some consequences back to ur actions mr greedy wretch of a human *starts turning SUPERPURPLE*

hOL Y SHIgha kuya let him go? i was prepared to see some new bbq on umi's floor.. surprising........................... not as vengeful as i thought, kuya.... or rather i guess your senpai senses are tingling and you're ultimately leaving this business up to umi cuz, really, this IS umi's business and not kuya's 😞

SCALES - 12

sigh... yeah... you're right, eiden.... i need you to inject some Good Sense back into my violent tendencies... biggersigh... i would have loved to doom those villagers to sopping wet destruction but... right, right umi's lived for a long time... and eiden's crew have only known him for this TINY window on that timeline... we dont know him.. we dont know his life ☹ we AREN'T in a position to interfere with his decision...

*slams fist on the desk again* GOAWDH, UMI, WHAT WAS SO HECKIN SMPECIAL ABOUT THAT DUDE YOU KNEW THAT YOU'D GO THIS FAR FOR HIM??? UGH THIS POOR LONELY GAY FISH I'M so anGYYYYYYYY 😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 *watching umi fade into the white screen* this is stupid my chest hurts 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

SCALES - 13

SCREAMS BEAUTIFUL FSIIH *POINTS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLUE GREEN SCALES!!!!!!!!!!! UMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU'R EFISH AGAIN??? REINCARNATED? RESET? CYCLE ANEW? kuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i hope you used your bonkers godmode gamebreaker powers to somehow scrape the barrel of umi DNA and remake him or like; f;just;;; idk reset the clock on him even tho you don't approve of his decision

GAAAAHHHHHHHH this event!!! suffering!!!!!! suffering ana dammdbiguity!!!!!!! no giggles!!!! only existential crises and racism and reminding us of the different lifespans of humans vs yokai and now i bet all the frreaifsjsekles long-lived boys on my screen right now (yakumo and kuya) are gonna have to make some decisisons about how to deal with their incoming grief about EiDen leaving this plane of existence well before theyre ready tio part a and nOOOO i'm not gonna think about that umi is ok and fish again and he's gonna outlive all the predators and be so super cool and resplendently scaled and shiny the whole time that he gains enough magic power to become a yokai again and then he'll live a happy life with people who don't suck and and and eiden's gonna live forever witht eh power of gay neon gemstone and the elemental spirits kissing him gently on thecheek and nobody will have to sob fat tears over their beloveds ever ok goodbye

[bluginkgo]

Welp, ep7 didn't kill me! ... the depression post ep might- (Theories/Rambles)

Anyways! Ep7 oh boy, it was full of surprises even for me. The animation, the intense battle scenes, everything about it was AMAZING! Of course, that's just my opinion :3 (feel free to yeet it into the stratosphere)

Get ready for word diarrhea and some shaky and loose thoughts on the ending and what may happen next. Fair warning, my theories are pretty wacky, so somethings may sound way out there. XD

Spoilers duh, oh and gore warning? Kinda?

I mean... that scary *ss mother facking thing towards the end- you know what I'm talking about if you watched the ep 😅

This puzzled me a bit, but the more I thought about it, I suppose the more it makes sense (give me a hot minute, I'm slow ok 😅).

The lockers act as a storage container for the solver drones. But what about the image from ep6? It seemed like they had free reign over the office and could come and go. Even as far as a sentinel cuddling up to Nori. But that's the thing. Later we see that Nori and Yeva were the only ones that have been the MOST successful with the absolute solver experimentation. The others, were either corrupted or were unaffected.

That means, in the time that the patches were given to the drones experimented on, was the time that they were allowed to be in the office. But as the patches and experimentation progressed, they were moved down for more security.

Soooo V. What are my thoughts on her and her whereabouts? The shot of the hall with the sentinels did not make it into the ep. Sure, it is probably fairly easy for them to get that shot. Especially if they kept the rig of the hall, throw around some sentinel bodies, and make the light go out. But this lack of V is what's making me still believe she's out there. Delusional, I know. But we don't get to see her eldrich form. This is the Absolute Solver that has been chilling in the labs, and simply recreates the hologram of all the drones it was ever a part of.

If V does not return by ep8, then I will lay her to rest properly. Until then, I'm marking her as MIA. She may be out there, she may not.

Alright, so the crucifix is also recounted as "failsafe USB (606b)" or at least that's how I see it, given the crucifix is just one fancy usb.

Now, the other time we did see the 606 was in the beginning of ep5.

wdOS_606 is basically the code that kills the drone and its core. So, effectively, that crucifix works as a kill code for the absolute solver. The timeline of events probably happened like this: Nori was showing signs of the Absolute Solver progressing much faster than any other drone the teams have worked with. One time, Nori went Absolute Solver crazy, the placement of the image that is also seen in ep6 suggests that this was the first or one of the first times Nori went rogue. The teams then decided to contain her better and suspended her by the chains, all the while waiting for the failsafe USB to be completed. At least, that was the plan. "Don't all die and almost let it out again lol. We're pretty mad but mostly scared about that." subtitle backs it up.

Now this.

This entire sequence seems rather interesting. Absolute Solver, at its best, understands emotions on logical level. Its more like a math equation for it. As in: Bad things happen = changed and more subdued personalities. But with N, I suppose it found it rather interesting to watch him. Despite all of the bad experiences he may have had, he remained his happy self. The solver even went as far as quoting him.

That type of innocence, despite the horrors he has seen and committed, most likely amused the solver. So it allowed the team to retain those personalities and traits- also knowing that it could easily get rid of them if it really wanted to.

Uzi's administration rights still hold up. It seems that in this moment, the solver attempted to completely corrupt N and have him as a mindless drone that followed orders. Buuuut Uzi's admin rights denied that, saving him from becoming the solver's puppet and being what he was back on Earth during the massacre of humans.

Eating is often referred to in this episode. Seems that I was somewhat right in regards to the Absolute Solver being the core of Copper-9 now. It has grown rather large, and taken possession of the entire planet. To maintain that, it needs sustenance. Be it in form of biological and mechanical life, or the planet itself.

So J destroyed the only means of getting off the planet, and the possibility of saving themselves or the planets for the gang- of course there's still the pod that J is using, but that will not be given up without a fight.

The issue here I have is... to whom did J give her loyalty to? Couple theories:

To Tessa- J has NO idea this is not Tessa, and is following her old boss just like in the days of the manor.

To Absolute Solver- J knows this is not Tessa, but still is loyal to it.

Issue: If number 1 is correct, then why follow through the plan with destroying the pod? It seems that was the case all along when Tessa told J to "mind her ship." Furthermore confusing to me is her comment.

Tessa: Her (Cyn) last known act was siccing you lot on other human exo-planets.

N: But why?

J: That's what we're trying to figure out, bozo.

J's line can be taken both ways. As 1- J is actually trying to figure out why Cyn is acting up. As for 2- this was simply a cover up for the whole plot.

It seems here that the drones that were previously worked on simply stayed in their lockers and their corrupted form. But that was something that made me wonder. The drones were all corrupted with the Absolute Solver to some degree. They were all given patches of the solver- some had effect and others didn't. But that still means that there were a lot of drones that had their cores corrupted and look like Heart. Here's the question.

Why didn't they simply leave? Nori's corrupted core is fully sentient, despite being possessed by the solver the most. Of course, there is the possibility that whatever Nori created in the cathedral simply took those cores and dragged them into the center. Further growing itself. Ah, well I kind of answered my own question there.

So the largest number I could count was 129 on this list. Meaning, there were at least 129 drones experimented on. Seems to follow the crazy theory I had of the Absolute Solver taking control of the core. 129 minus 2 (Nori and Yeva) cores will definitely make a great impact/engrave itself into the planet in such a way and thus manifest the corridors of flesh and hands that go all to the way to Cabin Fevers camp ground.

It also seems that the Absolute Solver, instead of being injected straight into the drones, was done in patches. Now, my knowledge in computer language and science is non-existent, but it does make me wonder. Yeva has 2.1.8 patch, while Nori was still "in progress." This either implies:

Nori had a newer patch and this was the one that caused her to go so berserk they had to restrain her in the cathedral.

Nori did not have a new patch, the one that Yeva has was the latest one and Nori simply was not faring well in the transition.

Something I noticed/finally grasped on my 3rd watch through:

Who the hell is "they?" Well, my tired brain finally decided to kick in and work. "They" were the scientists. So the crucifix was something that the humans only now figured out how to make. The kill code that would put the Absolute Solver down. That was why the Solver was on Copper-9. It needed that crucifix, so it could get rid of it. "They kept cutting my feed." Most likely referred to when the hosts would become possessed by the solver. Just as seen with Nori, the second they went crazy, it was a quick shut down, thus cutting the feed for the Absolute Solver as it tried to figure out what they were doing.

So, just as many have theorized, Nori did cause the core collapse, but not in the way that I expected it. It's rather funny that instead of this being like a full Absolute Solver possession that caused this on purpose, was simply one bad event after another. And I love the show for this. Despite having the route that the Absolute Solver could have just imploded the planet on purpose and on its own (by possessing a host), it was instead a sequence of events that is similar to humans and their downfall. Nothing orchestrated, but just a compiling effect that created one huge problematic black hole.

So this page does give some insight. The Absolute Solver sent DDs to wipe out the other solver hosts. (I'll touch on this in a different post) And the DDs were either referred to as "pets" by the Absolute Solver (which is more likely, as it called Uzi a "puppet") or a term that Nori coined. "Puppet hosts with nerfed ___ the entity-ensures control" The nerfed ___ is most likely their cores/thought process. As in, Administration CYN is what nerfed their abilities to remember anything regarding their past, and used that to control the DDs.

This was something I couldn't kind of settle with. Events wise, it can be assumed this is all happening at the same time. Just as Uzi is getting through the mine shafts and picking up the lantern, Tessa is blowing up the computer and nomming on Doll, and N is being dragged through corpse walls and being saved by Heart.

It was Doll- Although, the more I looked at this thought, the less likely this became. Doll's was intact when she came to warn Uzi, and stayed there until Tessa entity ate it towards the end of the episode. We have yet to see an instance where a core entered the Absolute Solver form and returned back to the core form without taking any damage. Specifically in J's case, the solver form was blown up and only then returned to the core form. Nothing was in the mine shafts that could have possibly injured it enough to go back to the core form and sneak back into Doll's body.

Tessa...uhh whatever the fack she is- Based off of Doll's getting attacked scene, the entity seems to have a rather quick ability in switching forms. So I wouldn't put past it that the entity attacked Doll, saw that another part of the Absolute Solver was trying to chase N down, and just went along with the rest of the solver to hunt him down.

On my first watch through, I was worried that N would go crazy from breaking rule 1 of robotics: Not to injure humans. Granted, in the first watch through, everything went so fast that I barely had any time to grasp anything. After the second watch through, it becomes quite clear and apparent. The Absolute Solver took the rules of robotics out of the DDs. I mean, how else were they supposed to attack and kill the humans back on Earth. Furthermore, Tessa was not a human. So even if N did still have the rules of robotics programmed into him, they might not have set off. Why the "might not?" Because of the sentinel. Perhaps because the sentinels were created by humans, their ai is much simpler, but when that dingo bit Tessa, it had an aneurysm. It detected blood, and thus, the ai deduced that the sentinel just injured a human and decided to alt f4 itself. Would the same happen with N? I'm not quite sure. Given that the solver programmed the DDs, it could be either instance: Take the rules out completely or enhance the rules so that blood isn't what triggers the rule breaking.

This is something that made me wonder. Did the DD trio go to any other exo-planets previously? I took this scene in two ways:

This has happened before. The solver knows that N will continue to forgive the Absolute Solver because something similar has happened before. As in, the solver is out to kill a planet, it does that, but in return sacrifices any DDs that might have been there to get rid of the potential solver hosts. The backups are booted and sent to a new planet.

This is the first time this happened, but the solver has previous experiences. Just as the solver had made N forget about his time in the mansion and the bloodbath of killing humans, it can do the same thing. Kill N, and make his backup version forget this ever happened.

This one single frame made me wonder a bit too hard. The little nulls I assumed to be miniature and contained blackholes. But then when N dove under one... there was collision? A black hole, as far as I understand (which isn't very much ;w;), is something that cannot be touched. It warps time and space, so how are you supposed to be able to touch it? But I'm quite sure my tired brain is just thinking too much about simple details.

For some odd reason, I always thought that the solver wings were more flesh, and thus couldn't take too much damage. Proven wrong again! Uzi withstood N's firing and her wings came out undamaged.

Main question for me: Why would the Absolute Solver eat the core? Specifically in drone form/possessing a host. If it was the hole that's in the cathedral, I can understand that somewhat better. But what does a solver drone gain from eating another corrupted core?

Perhaps acts as a power boost? Whatever the corrupted core can do, the powers are transfered uhh... somehow?

Simply sustenance, and a way to get rid of Heart, you're thinking too deep into this Ginkgo (more likely option) Plus, backed up by Tessa entity eating Doll's core and being unaffected. Perhaps it just remains in the body as a source of energy.

IC-0n IS THAT YOU?! XD But in all seriousness, this scene was intense. The animation, the music and sound effects, the lines, everything was executed perfectly and created the monstrosity that may or may not haunt my nightmare tonight :3

My first thought was, "OH YOU! YOU FINALLY SHOWED UP! ...... GO AWAY!" This entity... uh I'm not quite sure what to call it yet, has been teased all the way back to the poster. And I would like to bring back something I said a bit while back. "What if the double x'ed character is someone we already know... but is dead? A character that is confirmed/somewhat confirmed to be dead can return back to life, and their body forced to move by the absolute solver." (I will be delving deeper into debunking this in another post.) Welp, that does it. I had the idea, just didn't know who the fack it was. XD So we get a drone, wearing Tessa's skin.

In hindsight, there was a big fat foreshadowing that I took for granted. This thing.

The drone body is a WD, and clear as day 1001 written on the core. What does it mean? Ah well, I'm actually not too sure. Going with the 002, 048, 029, etc. numbers, I can only assume 1001 is something the Absolute Solver made and gave it that number, possibly suggesting that there is more of these monstrosities out there.

So. Another "sacrifice." Why the quotation marks? Well... the first "sacrifice" was V and I'm still calling her MIA. Ginkgo, its clearly shown Uzi is most likely not gonna make it out of this one- shhhhhhhh, there is no war in Ba Sing Se. I will call Uzi MIA as well.

She's dead. The core was charging up behind her, much like it did when Nori's null hand fell, and when IC-0n- I MEAN- Tessa? The entity, jumped in. Uzi might just be the thing that sets the next core collapse- even the planet collapse- off. What Uzi is seeing, is just something that the Absolute Solver might have conjured up as her last memories before the imminent shut down.

She isn't dead. You see, this entire shot has me puzzled (nothing new lol). Your evidence for this one Ginkgo? Two images.

These scenes might not be much, but I will try to grasp at air here. It's unclear where Heart goes to. I mean there are two routes, one of which sounds more likely. First, she's going into the core because it connects to the entirety of the mine shafts and the core. Second, she's gonna use a door off to the side to go to the mine shafts and the same place that N gets dragged through. Why am I using these as poor evidence? Well, we've had 2 characters enter dark spaces full fo solver flesh and still make it out. Ginkgo, Uzi is literally falling in that scene, there is nothing to stop her fall. Yeah I know, like I said, I'm grasping at air with this one. Buuuut, the mind scape theories sound more fun, promise! ^w^

First off, where the HELL could this possibly be?

A memory/mind scape the Absolute Solver created: This has to be Copper-9, based off of the two iconic moons to the top right. A memory, because this could be either the first core collapse, or Uzi viewing the destruction of Copper-9 from another solver entity's point of view. Mind scape as in this is where the solver drone minds go to. Every solver drone that has been consumed by the large Absolute Solver in the cathedral, had their own personalities and thoughts. To keep them all from clashing and acting out, perhaps the solver takes the hive-mind plane and creates spaces that the solver drones can warp through.

The "ascension" plane: Ginkgo, that's it, to the hospital you go chop chop. /j Anyways, why am I even bringing something like this up? Well, Uzi's mural says this.

There are two routes here: succumb to be the host of eternal entity, or ascend. Ascend to... where? And how? Here is where the more intense crack theories enter (or at least for me). This space is the hive-mind of the solver, yes, but this is where Uzi's internal battle against the Absolute Solver will happen. We all know that the last mural will be of N fighting off the Absolute Solver (most likely). But what if he had outside (inside technically?) help. While N may hold out against the solver, he may need help to finally break through and finish it off. Who would be a better candidate than Uzi? She has now, for better or worse, become part of the large amalgamation that sits in the core. Perhaps with the strongest hosts in the hive-mind: Uzi, Nori, Yeva (maybe, I'm not quite settled on her yet), and Cyn, they will all be able to stop the solver for good on Copper-9. This process is the ascension. Instead of succumbing to the Absolute Solver within the hive-mind scape, she will fight once again. This time around, coming out victorious and ascending to uhh... I'm not quite sure yet? Robo-heaven? Returning back into her corporal body? Becoming the next Absolute Solver but with less need to rule the world? (Ah, well she might still actually rule the world just for the fun of it XD) Honestly, it's far too late for me to be thinking any more. I might add on to this later on.

Is it a rather optimistic take on the ending? Perhaps, but I need a little optimism right about now. ;w;

Want more of my stupid rambles? This has 3 other parts! ;w;

[justghostly-things]

Why Mike Wheeler should get Vecna'd

I might need to rant about Mike Wheeler (to like the surprise of no one.) because if it's gonna be anyone its gotta be him, right? I don't think he is gonna die, or it's gonna be the exact same as it was for Max. (Simply because we have seen it before.) but I don't think it would be beneficial to Vecna any of the other characters.

and assuming that the Duffer brothers aren't just bad writers we know Mike has been acting weird for two whole seasons now. (I personally think it was worse in season 3 but it was still strange in season 4.) The show established him a certain way in season 1 then nailed it into the coffin that this is who he is in season 2 but then season 3 rolls around and he is just... Different. (An ass) Of course, we have our theories and analysis (thank you, to anyone who have compiled all the hints into one place what would we do without you 😭This or This or This)

but still.

Since we are talking about Stranger Things S4 and S5 there are a lot of uncomfortable topics that are going to be mentioned, I do not go into details. I barely mention it. I do not describe anything, but I do talk about the themes. Please stay safe while reading

We should look at this in three ways.

What it brings to the story

What advantage would it give Vecna (aka why would he want to Vecna them)

And how does it help the character

Let's talk about Max first. Because we can work out the logic with her and then try and translate it to other characters.

I think its import for this section to know that what Max has delt with is a very scary real thing. Many children have a very similar life as Max, and all I am going to do is talk about them from within the show. I will say is you are not a bad person because you wish death on someone who is hurting you. But from here on I am talking about Max from both her Pov and Vecna's. None of these things are my thought or feeling on the greater topic of abuse and dysfunctional families.

From a story perspective why was Max the one who got Vecna'd and not like, Dustin or Lucas? If you answered because she watched Billy die. Yes. Anyone who understands a progression of a story can figure out why it makes sense for Max to be Vecna'd. We create this guy who shows you your trauma reflected back at you and then kills you as seen in both Fred (Nancy's friend) and Chrissy.

Which of the main cast of characters just went through a trauma event just the season before? Max.

I think if this is all you take from season 4 you have fundamentally forgotten one important thing about Max getting Vecna'd. It isn't just about the trauma of her watching her brother die. No, Vecna specifically targets the fact that Max deep-down wished-for Billy to die, she used to fantasize about it. It isn't just survival guilt. And we are shown this visually through Fred who also has survival guilt. Their trauma is different because Max's guilt isn't just about surviving. That is why it had to be Max. Because all of the characters could feel some sort of Survival guilt. They have watched so many people die and get hurt. it reveals two things. One is how Max truly feels about Billy's death, and two it tells us more about what Vacna is actually doing in the vision. Because he isn't just trying to torture a traumatized Max to the point that she willing to just give up. it is showing Max some "ugly truth" about her to herself. Because that is what Vecna is. Or thinks he is. He sees the world as horrible and should be corrected and the only way to do that is by "starting over". This is him showing max what is "wrong" with her and killing her (so he can start her over/create a new her)

I feel like I need to rewatch season 3 again because I can't remember exactly but I think Max most likely played a big part in season 3 where she kept meddling with Possessed Billy. (Mike did too but we will get to that(this thing is gonna be long btw)) She showed that she is willing and able to mess up Vecna's plans.

(It is kinda a debated if it was just the Mind Flayer or if it was Vecna himself that possessed Billy (and Will in season 2) but for the purpose of this we will say that he at least knows the role that Max (and Mike) played in the mall fight.)

All of this to say from Vecna's Perspective, he sees a group of kids who keep getting in the way, And they are all close to El? And one of these kids has extreme guilt about Billy? Yeah of course he targets her. It is so useful. It'll get to El and the rest of the party. Making them weaker and affect them emotionally so they are more likely to react irrationally. It's so perfect for him. Literally Max says so in the show.

and Max, (I can tell some people aren't gonna be happy with me for this so just know I love max so much please, but) she up until season 4 was a bit of a weird character. She is a confusing character. Especially in season 2, she has a lot of character inconsistencies. This video explains all of what I am talking about in this section this really well. but she isn't really a main character until season 4. She plays more of a supporting role. Especially in season 3 where she is helping El find part of independence. And yes, we know Max has a hard home life and how Billy is an ass to her. We know this but we don't really understand it until season 4. She just feels like an inconsistent character up until this point. (you know who else is an inconsistent character-) Her getting Vecna'd shows us a direct shot into her head and we can start to piece together the truth of her character. We really get to understand why she is inconsistent. And how it isn't a flaw of the writing, it's Max being 13 and dealing with a terrible home life.

the best part about it is that there are clues all over that are screaming at us and I can tell you right now that there were probably so many children who saw themself in Max. And people who were screaming about how this is why! It's because of her home life! while the rest of us were just calling it inconsistent writing. And yes, I am gonna bring it up because this is exactly what we see with Mike Wheelers character. Because the truth is that we haven't seen the whole story, we have barely seen anything of Mike for the last two seasons. (mentally i know he is on screen I mean mentally) we just have a theory on what is going on in his head. and I think it would be a waste not to use Vecna to do the same thing they did for Max for Mike and this is ignoring all of the parallels the two characters have. this is just from a story point of view and omg can you tell how passionate I am about this??

Now do i think it is impossible for any of the other character to get Vecna'd? No? it would probably be more similar to how Nancy got Vecna'd. Mostly because if my other theory is correct (is this shameless self-promotion?) I don't think there is time for like all the character to get Vecna'd.

But yeah, lets talk about a few of the character and why I do or don't think they could get Vecna'd. I will try to make this quick.

Steve: Steve is very interesting and I kind of wanna make like a character analysis about him at some point (probably after I rewatch the show) but I think it could go either way. Steves whole arc for the whole show is to show us how someone can change. Steve started as an ass and has slowly been evolving to become a better person. And I think there is a place for Vecna to come into that but idk if he needs it. I think Steve's can jump over the last hoop by himself (unlike some people who haven't even started jumping... (Mike)) Overall I don't think it will tell us anything we don't already know about Steve, but I can see Vecna wanting to incapacity Steve because of his physical strength. Dustin: Again, I am not sure what more Dustin getting Vecna'd will tell us about Dustin. If anyone has any thoughts, please don't be scared to let me know. I can see Vecna also wanting to take out Dustin because of his smarts. So strategically I can see this being something Vecna would want to "Take out" (but i am not sure how strategic Vecna is? I certainly don't think it would be the main reason that he targets someone.) Lucas: Idk, I think it would be great to have Lucus be more import to the plot but if he is gonna get Vecna'd it's gonna be about Max and him "teaming" up with the Basketball? guys. (I say hesitantly because I don't remember what sport it was...) Which we don't need to be told he feels bad about because he told us. So, idk. I guess we can talk about Will as well: but it's really all the same thing, I don't know what new information we can learn if we see him getting Vecna'd. Sure, its angsty and that might be reason enough for some people, but I know if I was writing Season 5, I wouldn't even consider it. We know almost everything that is plaguing Will. We see almost everything first hand. And sure, we knew about Billy for Max but like I said it was more than just "she watched Billy die" and sure maybe there is something I just don't see or don't know. I just don't see reason for this poor boy to go through more. The other thing is I don't see why Vecna would want to not just kill but make Will suffer. Make him have a pain full death? If Vecna wanted Will dead, Will would be dead. its plain and simple. the amount of times Vecna had Will in his grasps? I don't believe it was just luck. I would actually love to see if there aren't times where Will could be in danger, or it would make more sense for the danger to target will but for some reason it didn't, and he came out unscathed? (if I notice anything in my rewatch I will add it here) but yeah. also, there is all the parallels between Will and Vecna, so I think Vecna sees himself in will, maybe like how he saw himself in El and maybe will try and recite him. Idk but it seems (to me at least) that Vecna has more planed than, make him suffer and then die, in store for will. This is a really good analysis and this I agreed with on why Will was probably not gonna get Vecna'd. But it is a really good (and funny) video so go check it out if you haven't.

all of this is making me want to do an analysis on Vecna/henry. I don't think he is a partially new kind of villain, but I think it would be fun to try and dive into his head.

Hopeful this is my last point where I finally get to talk about my boy Mike wheeler. This is a Mike wheeler safe place. (I say as I am about to make my point on why he should go through pain and torture next season.)

I kind of have talked about some of this but let's dive into more detail (like we did with Max) and talk about my three main points

What it brings to the story

What advantage would it give Vecna (aka why would he want to Vecna them)

And how does it help the character

I feel like the story has been building up to this for a long time actually. Not only with the stalker shots that Mike is shot in but everything we see about his character. From how much we have seen his character change between season 2 and 3, to how little we actually know about Mikes inner workings. Mike is a puzzle right now. He is surrounded by character who are at least decently written and at most complex and compelling. And he is a main character? Like if Mike was a Minor or supporting character (like Erica and arguably robin) it would be weird sure but at least expectable. But Mike was THE main character in the opening season. We learn the most about him. And we see a lot of the story threw his eyes. And what? Were just going to throw all of that away? Like it was nothing?

But! I bring up the point I made about Max again. About what she was like in season two, what our impression of Max as a character and how that changed in season 4. The reason her character acted like that was because of things we didn't have connections for until season 4. All the parts were laid out in front of us they just needed to be connected. Mike getting Vecna'd will literally connect the dots for us. it'll show us an obvious and clear answer for what is wrong with Mike. Because how, honestly, are they going to show us all of these complex things that has been haunting Mike without a Vecna vision? It's the last season. We do not have endless time to unpack everything that is happening inside his head. Especially if the season is going to be as busy as I expect. We have like 20 other character who needs screen time, and we are getting introduced to more characters? And we have to fight the big bad? and there is gonna be a time skip (I swear to whatever higher being there is if they try to pull a "all Mikes' problems got fixed over the time skip" bs I am gonna be on the news for homicide. no-one will ever hear the end of it, omg. i don't even care if Byler becomes cannon, there will be war.) point is this matter is delicate and Mike lips on the matter are sealed so tight. If he hasn't said a word about this in 3 years he isn't gonna talk about it now. He needs a push, and Vecna is going to push him down a flight of stairs.

I do feel like I am repeating myself but it's crazy how similar Mike and Max character are. Almost like they are shining bright neon lights saying like look at this! notice this! and I know I am not the only one to point this out. But like what was stated in this video, Mike is almost the perfect person to Vecna'd , he not only has a connection with both El and Will. He, as Will would put it, is "the heart" of the party. He is connected to all the other character in some way. And if taking Max out would of killed motivation/ made the party unstable imagine what killing Mike would do to them? Which is why I do believe in the Mike was the original four victim theory (I think I saw someone go into more detail, but I can't find it. If I do, I will update with both links)

Also, remember when I mentioned that both Mike and Max have meddled with Vecna's plot in season 3, I just think I should point out how in the gym scene where they trap Billy in the sauna it is Mike taunting Him. And in season 2 he was the one who figured out that Will was possessed. All I can think of for season 1 is that he took El in and formed a kindling with her, which isn't strong evidence but idk maybe Vecna gets jealous easily idk.

And I think to understand this last point I would recommend watching or reading threw the links I linked all the way at the top of this discussion. but I would urge you to watch this at the very least: This video

if you haven't caught on yet, I do believe the Vecna visions are going to reveal to the audience that Mike is gay and has been the whole time. aemiron-main has a very good theory on how I think this is gonna go, because that falls into the same thought bubble as Max's. Where I think the theme isn't just that he is dealing with internalised Homophobia but his guilt surrounding his queerness. which we can easily explore through a vision. and it explains why he has been acting this way, especially in season 3. Like, can you even think about what this poor kid is going though mentally because, your best friend, literally your person got possessed, you watched as they lead to your friends new dad's death? like you can do nothing? and you blame yourself because if you had stop being gay for two seconds just to notice that there is something off about him you could have saved everyone? YEah I would be an asshole as well. Honestly, I think all the clues are there we just Vecna to piece them together.

And even in the very unlikely situation where I and like every other Byler are wrong about Mike being gay. Mike getting Vecna'd can only mean positive things for his character.

I feel like I had another point to make but I genuinely can't remember what it was T_T so, if I remember I will update this. But that is my point. Mike wheeler is gay and will be tormented by demonic infused visions of him being gay in the next season. so, you know. like an average Tuesday for any queer.

[shen-jius-zoloft-prescription]

I know this is a SVSSS blog, but I'm about halfway through Love Between Fairy and Demon and the ONLY thing I'm getting caught up on in the worldbuilding is the passage of time. I can forgive everything else, this is high fantasy, whatever, rules are made of jelly and I get that, but the PASSAGE OF TIME is fucking me up and I want to know if I'm on the right track with how I'm trying to make sense of it now that I've seen the passage of time as it applies to the mortal realm.

The inciting action from which the whole plot centers was 30,000 years ago when Dongfang Qingcang was defeated and imprisoned. This is simultaneously treated at ancient history/mythology, and living memory; most of the characters were alive for it. It's acknowledged that some were too young to have participated in the battle (Changheng) but this is very much modern history.

30,000 years also was not long enough for the Moon Tribe to run out of fodder for their 30,000 year long civil war, nor was it long enough for Xunfeng to realize that it very conveniently was never ending. After 30,000 years. When we meet the old widow in the hunting camp, we know that three generations have participated in this war; and, considering military conscription practices of ancient civilizations, there's really no reason to think those were necessarily all that far spread out, anyway.

Qingcang's palace was exactly identical to how it was in his childhood. Elder Moon Lord's rooms, abandoned for over 30,000 years, were overgrown with weeds, but otherwise really fine; even the wooden ball in his room hadn't completely fucking disintegrated, it just, like, got a wood stain applied to it I guess.

(Also, when Xiao Lanhua tells Changcheng that she's a wittle itty baby, newly born at 500 years old. An infant to seems to have virtually never met anyone before and seems to have just cultivated conscious. I add this as a much smaller side note because I wasn't sure if she meant that she's been "human" for 500 years, or she's been working at cultivating human form for 500 years. Regardless, time means nothing.)

But 30,000 years is vastly longer than the entirety of human civilization. It's a mind-bogglingly long time to conceive of being alive. For a single civilization to be at war with itself without noticing anything amiss. For all of the civilizations involved in the story to apparently experience absolutely zero progression in culture, language, art or science, virtually anything.

So my main takeaway up until now has been for my eyes to kind of glaze over a bit when they mention any period of time. The only function of someone mentioning time is to place it relative to the other events in the story. These numbers are otherwise functionally arbitrary because it does not translate at all to a meaningful passage of time in any other way.

BUT THEN. They are now in the human realm, and it's been, I think, like one, maybe three days tops since Changheng and Danyin went in for tribulation. And it seems to have been, like, 20 years for them? 25 years???

SO, am I correct in now reworking my perspective to consider that when they say 30,000 years, they are using human years, which translate to about 20 years per 1-3 days in the way that time progresses in the Cangyan Sea?

By this logic, the war 30,000 years ago would have been perceived as about four to twelve years ago by the people in Shuiyuntian and the Cangyan Sea. Short enough for a constant, horrible, basically-100%-death-toll (according to the widow) war to keep going without decimating the whole population, and short enough for the castle to look basically the same as before, etc. If we go with the longer end of the scale, that's long enough for Changcheng to have reasonably been too young to participate in the battle, while still being alive for it.

It also means that Xiao Lanhua's consciousness at 1,500 years old is about three to seven-ish months old by the perception of time in their realms. This tracks for me, since it's a short enough time that it's reasonable no one would have yet noticed what the fuck she's got going on and the cosmic implications of her existence.

[blurbfics]

There'd Better Be a Mirrorball | Azriel x OFC [part twelve]

Summary: Azriel frets over Eowyn's wellbeing. Gwyn delivers an unpleasant message.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: angst, yearning, self-deprecating talk, anger, worry, self-doubts

a/n: can't be a proper slow-burn without some yearning, right? sorry lovelies, we gotta go through Angst Road to get to Smut and Fluff Blvd. all i have to say is please go vote! and of course, rest in peace liam payne (rip my eternal hope that we'd see the boys together again at some point)

Minors, do not interact.

part eleven

masterlist

"But she once fell through the street

Down a manhole in that bad way

The underground drip

Was just like her scuba days

Days

Daze"

Interpol, Stella was a diver and she was always down

He goes four nights without seeing her.

Three days and four nights of prowling the entrance to the library, of having his shadows slither down to investigate and report on her progress. Three days of not seeing her, and although Cassian tried to console him with the reminder that he’s gone longer without seeing her when he goes on long missions, his brother is well aware that it isn’t the same and with a single look from Azriel, pointed and unfaltering, he doesn’t try to bring it up to him again.

All the waiting and the worrying and the asking, the begging for the smallest crumbs of information from any priestess that came into his path (that of which was usually Gwyn, who blessedly went directly to him to report on Eowyn’s wellbeing), was torture for him.

And Azriel knew torture. Knew it quite literally like the back of his marred grotesque hands.

He doesn’t sleep that night, the first night. Didn’t sleep much the other three but that first night, after the priestesses kicked him out and he was ‘persuaded’ to leave the library altogether with Rhys’s logical reasoning and Cassian’s… physical cajoling, he allowed them to move him only as far as the entrance to the library leading up to the House of Wind and then he stayed there, alone and in silence, awake the entire night. 

His shadows, finding it easier to sneak through, didn't even confirm with him before going down to look after her at their own accord before he could even think about sending them out to do it, and they stayed by her side to relate to him everything that happened to her.

That is, until he considered that what he was doing was an invasion of her privacy, so he retracted them much to their (and admittedly his) chagrin and he remained there, fretting and pacing, murmuring to his shadows and to himself. He found he could not sit longer than two and a half minutes without feeling frantic energy build within him, and sleep came to no avail. Throughout that time, he finally took Cassian’s invitation to stay at the House of Wind, if only to wash and get his meals, in the rare occasion he remembered to eat.

The second day went by much the same but he had the entirety of the day to consider not only the turn of events in the apothecary and what the herbalist revealed, but particularly her words as she was having her episodes. While still herself, she told him not to pay any heed to her words yet how was he supposed to forget her pained cries?

Her voice echoed through his mind.

“B-but I did! I swear it ada*, I did! I mended every single one of your— no no, ada, please!”

The things the shadows managed to capture while still inside only got worse in nature. The first words she had spoken in his ear, however, those words spoken in another language echoed through his mind day and night. The frustration at not knowing what they meant was driving him half insane. On the third day, after hearing from Gwyn that she was doing much better, now seeming much more lucid— he had admittedly sniffed derisively at that but made no further comment— he took to the skies and paid a quick visit to his brother.

Without any hemming and hawing he went straight to the point. “I need you to translate something.”

Rhys was quick with it, immediately breaching past Azriel’s lowered mental walls to dig his talons to peer inside. Azriel freely offered him the memory, not lingering on the details he wanted to keep only to himself, like the feel of her soft supple body in his arms, and the way she’d dug her face in his neck and inhaled, consequently bringing her so close to his face that he could do nothing but freely bask in her scent himself.

Clearly guessing where Azriel’s train of thought inevitably trailed off to, Rhys didn’t linger long inside Azriel’s head but didn’t offer the answer with the immediacy Azriel was seeking.

“Well?” He pressed in a manner that was more natural to Cassian.

“It’s a very ancient tongue. One I thought to be extinct long ago,” Rhys answered at last. “I’ll need to ask Amren.”

“There’s no time,” Azriel hissed, running a hand through his hair, “she won’t be here until next week.”

“Amren arrives today,” Rhys raised an eyebrow, his own violet eyes scanning Azriel in concern. “Have you slept at all, brother?”

Azriel dismissed him. “There’s no time,” he repeated under his breath. With shadows furling faster around him, he turned to leave.

“I’ll let you know what I learn,” is the last thing he heard from the High Lord before he stepped into his shadows back to the House of Wind’s entrance to the library.

By the fourth day, his shadows— disobedient things that they were— reported back that Eowyn’s seizing visions were becoming few and far between and she was now resting, reading and conversing with Clotho and Gwyn. After he’d made sure that Eowyn was faring better, he accepted Nesta's insistence for him to have dinner with her and Cassian, only to have Gwyn herself step into the kitchen as they ate.

He startled when the young priestess stepped in, however, heart in his throat at the thought of something happening to Eowyn in the ten minutes he’d been away. “Is everything-“

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she blushed shyly and the way she carried herself spoke of curious trepidation, not the concerned urgency he feared. She did, however, seem rather tired and he found he was endlessly grateful to her for caring for Eowyn in a way he couldn’t do. In a way Clotho hadn’t allowed him to.

(It sent a sharp shooting pain through his chest to consider that it was Eowyn herself who hadn't wanted him there; that she didn’t trust him to stay at her side after the long months of spending almost every day together, of having gotten to know each other so intimately. It was easier to blame Clotho for not allowing him to stay. The alternative left him with a feeling that was too raw and ugly to consider at the moment.)

“You’re not,” Nesta said mildly, if a touch concerned herself. “Everything okay with Eowyn?”

“Oh yes, she’s doing much better,” Gwyn assured them quickly, “she’s been reading dreadfully boring old texts all day about minerals or rocks or something, so you know that means she’s pretty much back to normal.”

Cassian and Nesta immediately invited her to sit and eat with them, which she did after a brief moment of hesitation. “I mostly just came up to let you guys know the good news and deliver a message from Eowyn saying that she’ll join us tomorrow morning, but she won’t be able to stay for training with Azriel,” she gave Azriel a quick pout as if to emphasize her point. He chuckled lightly at the sight, feeling a heavy weight lift off his shoulders at the certainty of seeing Eowyn the following morning. The pang of disappointment that shot through him at not being able to see her during their session together was immediately quelled by the reminder that she still had to take it easy and recuperate after such a dreadful episode– which inevitably led to the reassuring thought of spending that time with her anywhere else for the day, taking care of her if she allowed him to. “For some time.”

It took him a second to understand.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Gwyn swallowed nervously, “we were talking about training and how she’s doing much better now. Remember Cassian? When you mentioned last session how she can start training with Em and Nesta and I? And well, she-“ she continued to ramble, speaking quickly, “well she thinks that since she’s pretty much caught up now, she doesn’t have to stay after and train with you anymore.”

“She doesn’t get to decide when she’s caught up,” he hissed through his teeth, incredulously, still trying to wrap his mind around her words. He narrowed his eyes, unbelieving, “and why doesn’t she tell me this herself?”

“Well she said she would, but thought it would be a good idea if I just… told you, while you're here,” she blushed again, looking up at him through her lashes. “She… well, she insisted she doesn’t need to train as much anymore.”

He pursed his lips in annoyance, but tried not to let it show as he considered Gwyn’s words, still reeling. He zoned out for the remainder of his quick dinner, too lost in his head as he considered Gwyn’s announcement, spoken with such nonchalance that he couldn’t bring himself to accept it.

Still, the more he considered that, the more he considered the way Eowyn had so viciously attacked the herbalist and the more he thought about that, the more he thought about the herbalist’s revelation. 

She said that Eowyn was a witch, and had Eowyn tried to deny it at all? Now that he thought about it, he realized she hadn’t, but she hadn’t confirmed it either. Had she lied right to his face when she talked about her abilities?

He felt his mind begin to clear now that the concern for her wellbeing was wearing off. He considered everything that had happened since he came back from his mission to find her stomping through the streets of Velaris, seeming angry and unlike herself. He hated himself for not having considered telling Rhysand about the herbalist’s accusation.

Witches were extinct. Those that were rumored to survive the Great Witch Purge, lived in the far reaches of the Middle, where they practiced all sorts of dark magic and were rumored to hate all faeries, but were known to consume their blood to be able to access their magic.

Witches were typically considered evil beings by all species, but most importantly, they were known to be extremely powerful. 

Rhysand, however, was never the type to believe the stereotypes applied to different creatures, an Illyrian and Shadowsinger like himself included, and knew better than to believe the necessary facade of dark infamy and notoriety in order to survive in this world as a powerful creature, lest they be hunted down to be enslaved and used for barbaric acts.

To have a witch under one’s control would be just as dangerous, if not more, as having access to the Cauldron itself.

Rhys had never expelled nor hunted a witch himself, but it wasn’t in his nature to outright mistreat or deny a being that could be a possible ally, as well as an equal.

For only the briefest of instances– born out of centuries worth of friendship, of fraternal familiarity, acceptance, and love for his brother– he considered telling Rhysand about the accusation made against her.

But he wouldn’t tell his brother about Eowyn, he realized grimly. Both ashamed at himself for withholding possibly valuable and integral information that could strengthen their Court and the general citizens of all of Prythian; and ashamed by even considering betraying Eowyn’s trust before he could even have the opportunity to speak to her about it first.

If he slept at all that night, it was sparse and filled with dark and tortuous nightmares of his family hating him. The thought of Eowyn hating him left a sinking empty void in the center of his being that stole all sleep and breath away from him altogether.

When he woke up hours before the break of dawn, having dreamt of her briefly, an entire audience of hers, laughing at him as he opened up and shared with her a part of himself that he didn’t think worthy of sharing with anyone else, his guilt and grief turned into simmering anger.

So when he saw her the next morning, wearing a covering that revealed only her eyes, he approached her and asked, “how are you feeling?”

“Much better,” her voice was calm and neutral, lacking both the usual teasing lilt and the anger and desperation of the last time they’d spoken. “Thank you for bringing me back to the library. And for asking for me while I was indisposed.”

The way her voice came out emotionless, formal, and cold while her eyes looked just as dark and beautiful as ever— even rested, for once— pissed him off even more.

“Good,” he snapped and turned away from her, refusing to watch as she walked over to her usual spot and decided, at that moment, to not look at her at all for the rest of the session. Still, he was always aware of her presence and as his shadows reminded him, they had not promised to look away from her, so he knew, even without looking at her, that she trained in unfaltering unison with the rest of the priestesses. 

Two things happened during that session. First was the feel of Rhys talons in his head as his research finally paid off; then came Eowyn’s impressive but entirely unsurprising achievement, for she was a natural warrior and she had made great success in the months they had trained together. 

Failing to remember his resolution to not look at her, he watched her in complete open awe– as expressive and adoringly as a stoic and unemotional male like him could show.

In an effortless and perfect stance, she stood before the pole with a familiar light-consuming obsidian dagger held in an offensive hold above her head, hips and feet positioned perfectly, knees bent at just the right angle.

At the end of that morning session, the morning after she’d had someone else tell him she didn’t need him any more, Eowyn cut the ribbon. 

While he was indescribably proud of her achievement, the act was like a slap in the face. 

As if the Cauldron or Fate or the Mother herself were sharing a laugh at his expense, her action only reinforced the words Rhys had translated in his mind earlier in the day: I will never cede.

—

After training, as all the Valkyries filed out of the training ring and back into the library– Eowyn among the last few who happily celebrated her successful cut– he called out her name.

She pretended she didn’t hear him. 

His irritation was only fuelled by Cassian’s knowing look and understanding pat to the shoulder before taking off into the skies to offer Azriel some privacy.

As soon as his brother took off, he tried to call Eowyn’s name again but despite it catching the attention of a few priestesses, Gwyn among them, who quickly turned to Eowyn and nudged her, Eowyn did not stop.

He hadn’t taken her for a coward. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Beyond annoyed at that point, Azriel sent off a few shadows to cinch around her waist and stop her from going further, even pulling her back a little.

The surprise in her eyes was brief before her face fell back into cool neutrality. The sight of it pissed him off so much, he finally understood his family’s frustration at him when he schooled his features back into place.

She waved at the others to continue without her and then turned to him, her gaze blazé and unlike her.

“Didn’t Gwyn tell you?”

“Tell me what exactly,” he bit, wanting to hear it from her.

“I won’t be able to stay and train with you after our group sessions anymore.”

It was a simple statement of fact, and the way in which she said it, so nonchalantly and unbothered, had his cool anger boiling in his veins, fueled by the hurt in his chest.

“Why?”

She looked away then, but not for long. She observed him quietly for a moment, seeming to be thinking of how to form her words. “I just… don’t think I need it anymore,” he saw it coming yet it still struck him- this time in the pit of his stomach, “the main reason why I accepted the extra training was to wear off some of the excess energy I felt, but I’m doing better now, now that it’s all over,” she waved her hand casually, as if her being so ill and delirious for days was a normal occurrence.

“You’ll have questions, I imagine,” she tilted her head and he felt how she watched him, taking him in. He wondered if she smelt or felt the anger rolling off of him, if she knew of the growing desire and necessity for her. She didn’t let him reply to her, merely shook her head, “it’s not a good time right now-“

“Don’t you dare-“

“I have a lot of work to catch up on,” she interrupted him. She looked to the stairs and sighed before turning back to him. “Are you free tonight? For dinner?”

His heart leaped to his throat, “yes.”

She nodded, “Nesta and Gwyn, they… they have a dinner planned tonight. You’re welcome to join.”

He deflated slightly at that, disappointed it wouldn’t be just them. Another thought struck him, however, for how would she eat if her face was covered? 

With a kindled excitement he managed to control, he nodded to her, releasing his shadows from her waist to let her go. “I’ll see you tonight.”

*ada is elvish for father in tolkien’s lotr’s lore. all credit goes to him. he is, of course, a great inspiration of mine

taglist: @lilah-asteria , @a-courtof-azriel , @honk4emoboyz , @feyretopia , @mrsjna , @buttermilktea11 , @bravo-delta-eccho , @kylieinwonderland , @adventure-awaits13 ,

[perkwunos]

Coming to the final days of April, the land and sky steadily progressing into summer, this day has been rich and golden with the sunlight; honey in oats, cream with cool water, fruit smeared on bread, cinnamon in lentils; I walk around in shorts and a t shirt even though it's only 50 degrees out, just to feel the sunlight; sunscreen rubbed along the nose and the back of the neck; I went to the library and read an essay from a book on Borges and mathematics, which had a nice succinct description of the set-theoretical insights into infinity and denumerability, something I'd just been studying as part of a logic reading group I'm doing with a friend; when I got home I thought to myself, this is the finest time of year, and the richest, anticipating a time of hot half-nakedness and bug swarms, and almost as though the blue sky itself was a watery reflection of the carpentry of gods.

Earlier in the weekend there was a house show at my place. People kept talking about memory, and how our memories change over time as we remember events and then distort them with each remembrance, adding more and more imagination; the continuum running between our memory and imagination, the way that each person is a universe of their own making, moving around with a distinct perspective on the world and a distinct narrative around how they remember. I thought about the fundamental insight deriving from Leibniz and continued by Whitehead: that the fundamental things, or substances of the world, are not the things we then perceive from our own point of view, but rather the points of view themselves, the events of perception. When I mentioned my fascination with perspective to a friend, she said she'd sometimes think, while in a crowd during a music show, there's one person here who's enjoying it the most out of anyone, or one who's the most sad.

I'm presenting at a conference later this week; I'm a bit unsettled and nervous, a bit confident; I still need to do more work to prepare it but am also a bit lazy, or at least lacking the energy. Right now the greatest danger is having too much to say and not being organized and planned enough to fit what's really important into the time. This will be my first time presenting like this, so whatever happens, it will be a surprise to me.

So much of our life-world consists of cloths, robes, and sheets of fabric embroidered with some motifs out of ancient mythology; with vocabulary taken from different languages, applied here and there at the behest of our own muscles; with tablatures of information for those skilled enough to read it; with shadows underneath the bushes where some skunk might be sleeping; with things not made by mortals.

[chodzacaparodia]

I have more thoughts on bllk and Isagi soo It was cool in the start because Isagi was like one of the worst players and we could see how he evolves and that was interesting and weren't boring hearing his inner monologues I guess? And the others all seemed impressive from his perspective lmao But now he acts like a main boss of something and a prodigy who has lots of skills and actually acts a bit rude towards others? (here comes the personal taste that one can just not like his personality I guess) but he like turned to a prodigy whom he admired and win against in the first half and now those are the ones trying to beat him but Isagi is the main characters so kinda these evolve around him which is unfortunate for the ones who don't like his character Soo I kinda mean that we could try to bring back Isagi not being too good? and now he could actually lose (like he can I guess bc he already win a lot and evolved so it's not like it'd be over just for him to get less op and the others could catch up too, because the power scales and balanced really shifted from him needing to beat someone to others needing to beat him which is quite an interesting development of events and a lot has a more tragic past than him now give them a win pls (this is just some personal thoughts I came up with they might not be full correct so my apologise)

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

I understand your point of view because in many respects I agree. I admit that it was interesting that he started to develop from an average player into one of the best. His internal monologues were also completely different, because not only did he surprise others, but he was also often surprised himself when he noticed complete things and analyzed them.

I like that you wrote that Isagi turned out to be a prodigy. Because that's the truth. He was a prodigy from the beginning, but before Blue Lock he never had the opportunity to discover it. It's not that I don't think he hasn't developed as a result of hard work and training, but his greatest strengths are actually related to his way of thinking and his special ability to analyze, something that not every character is gifted with and is unlikely to practice because it happens rather automatically.

As the story progressed, Isagi actually became overconfident. (Yeah, totally like a main boss!) And that's why he actually started to think that he was better than others (actually I did a meme about it ). And I must admit that it irritates me a bit. Surprisingly, this didn't irritate me with characters like Barou or Rin. Maybe it's because we get to know them as characters who feel better than others. And Isagi went from a guy with low self-esteem to a guy with a bit of a God complex. From extreme to extreme.

And in fact, he behaves rudely towards others. It seems even more visible because he was a really nice guy from the very beginning! But honestly, I think it's not just a matter of him feeling better than others (but I think that's largely the case). Isagi blended in with the Blue Lock's atmosphere. He was constantly exposed to people who treated others in the same way (including Isagi), so I'm not surprised that such behavior influenced him and he adopted it as well.

(And it must be really irritating when someone you don't like makes you grow. Typical bllk experience).

Honestly, I wish he would lose and humble himself a bit. I want absolute destruction. After all, the higher a person rises, the more painful the fall. And logically, sooner or later Isagi has to lose, because you can't always win. However, I'm not sure Isagi can return to that level as before (I'm not talking about the level from the very beginning, because he will never return to this times, but maybe more to the level from the 3rd or even 2nd selection). He's gone too far with all this. After his defeat, he would definitely go through a worse time, but would he actually become more humble? Would he have completely despaired of his abilities? Would he feel inferior to someone else? It's possible, but I think it's more likely that it will be just an episode rather than a longer streak of self-doubt. This will be seen from the outside more as "His rival was better" than "Isagi wasn't good enough".

But deep down, I really want the character I like more than Isagi to win. I admit that I often let my thoughts go in the direction of "this character has a traumatic past, he deserves to win as compensation". But in my head there is always the thought that Blue Lock was a manga unlike any other from the very beginning. Such issues really don't matter there. On the field, no one cares about the characters' traumatic pasts. All that matters is being the best and striving for a goal without any scruples or moral compass. And as interesting as it was (I would REALLY like to see it), even though the other characters theoretically deserved their victory more. A character doesn't have to have a tragic backstory (like Isagi) to win. They just has to be the best.

(I'm sorry if this wasn't the answer you were expecting! I didn't know how to respond to this and I thought for a long time, but in the end I let the discussion carry me away and referred to some of your thoughts and added my own, not necessarily related to your statement. I really don't know what and why I wrote all this 🙈).