#(There was a logical progression of events so I went for it)

[simpxxstan]

hi i would like to req cheol x fem!reader with the song you are in love by taylor swift. thank you!

congrats on 500 followers btw 🫶🏼

this is part of my 550 followers celebration event (closed now)!

thank you for this request, really hoping you like it! i'm not a swiftie so i was unsure of how to interpret the song prompt. hope i did it justice! posting very very late, thank you for being patient for so long <3 happy bday month to cheollie!!! i love him so much and this couple too. i think i might write a few more drabbles for them later lol

genre: coworkers to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff

word count: 3.3k words

warnings: reader is fwb with an oc (not seungcheol).

"you are in love!" your best friend says. "yeah, i know." you sigh, "that's why i've been ranting for so-" "no, silly! not with jay. you're in love with seungcheol!" you had laughed off her words, wondering if she'd become tipsy way too fast into your girls' night.

but when you're lying in your bed later that night, the thought lingers in your mind- the alcohol clearing up and making you progressively more sober as the cold air from the open window hits you, while your friend snores soundly next to you.

"think about it." "i am thinking ab-" "no, you've never really thought about this before. think about it clearly." you'd laughed heartily at her faux-wisdom, which always appeared after finishing two cans of beer.

but she's right. you have actually never thought about this. you've been so obsessed with getting jay to like you that you've never really given a second thought about seungcheol... and what he really means to you now.

"i'd expect more from a stats major and a data analyst, honestly. aren't you supposed to be logical and rigorous-" you slap her arm while doubling over with laughter, knowing full well that she's imitating the words of an infamous professor in your college. "i am being logical. we're just coworkers."

were you?

now that you think about it, certainly not. you're more than coworkers. more like friends. more like best friends. in fact, he's the closest friend you've made since your days in college. just coworkers don't buy each other their favourite drinks when the other has a bad day. just coworkers don't hang out for hours after work nearly every other day. just coworkers don't invite each other to parties with their separate friend groups. just coworkers don't have inside jokes that prevent you from forming friends with anyone else in the office.

your mind travels back to last thursday, when seungcheol had saved your ass for the nineteenth time this year when you'd arrived late by preventing the boss from noticing.

and the thursday before that, when seungcheol had dropped you home after he'd found out that jay had made you cry during an argument in the break room just before work got over.

and the thursday before that, when you'd gone with seungcheol to taste the menu at three different banquets because he was busy planning the wedding of his best friend, joshua, and needed an unbiased taster.

did just coworkers know everything about each other? including his dentist appointment's dates, the last time you went grocery shopping, the last time he went to watch a movie, the vitamin supplements you eat after breakfast, and so much more.

you smile in the darkness. no, you and seungcheol could never be just coworkers. you're best friends, nothing less of that.

but love?

ah, no. you'll bet your life on this one. you've been in love before. and what you feel for seungcheol is nothing like it.

_

your heart hammers in your chest as you ring the doorbell again, the weight of the melting cake heavy in your hand. you distinctly remember jay telling you that he'd be home tonight, then why wasn't he responding to his calls nor opening his door?

you're answered about twenty minutes later. you're sitting on the stairs in front of his flat when you hear him walking up the stairs... and there's someone else's voice too. a female voice.

"y/n?"

words get caught in your throat when you see mina, the new intern fresh out of a college, walking right beside him, arm looped in his, a hickey prominent on her neck, freshly bruised.

"why are you here?" she asks you, and you wince.

"i wanted to surprise you... for your birthday! sorry, i- i didn't know you had plans."

jay smiles as he looks at mina next to him, and pulls her closer. "no, mina actually surprised me too. and we went out dancing. sorry, have you been waiting for long? you should've call-"

"i did."

jay pulls out his phone and checks it. "oh shucks. you've been calling for the last twenty minutes," he takes a step forward and leans in to kiss your cheek, lightly. "you can join us for dinner? i'm sure mina won't mind." mina definitely minds, because she looks like she's going to shoot you down in a matter of seconds.

"nah, i'll just leave. happy birthday though. i can see you had a good one." would you be petty if you didn't give him the cake?

"sorry for making you wait for so long, y/n-ah."

one year and four months.

"no worries, man. enjoy your night. bye mina!" and you smile, like the stupid people-pleaser you are. at least you brought the cake with you.

_

"what's up?" seungcheol opens the door and you smell the heavenly aroma of fried noodles from his kitchen greet you.

"thank you for opening the door."

seungcheol raises an eyebrow at you. "why would i not open the door? you're literally-"

"yeah no, that's cause jay didn't. he went out with mina, it turns out." you stuff the cake into his fridge and stand next to him where he's cooking in a wok.

"mina? intern mina?"

"yeah. they made out too... so i'm guessing it wasn't friendly."

seungcheol scoffs. "mina joined, like, last week."

"two weeks."

"he switched you up for her although he's been with you for a year and a half."

"she's twenty-two, cheol. i'm pushing thirty. i'm not sexy anymore." you bite your lip as you look at the word puzzle in the newspaper on the coffee table. seungcheol doesn't reply immediately, so your heart sinks a little further. even if he doesn't subjectively find you sexy, he could just say it to console you. well, but it's a stretch to even expect that from-

"you're the sexiest woman i've ever met." seungcheol says, his voice softer, as he plops down next to you, holding two bowls filled with the fried noodles. he begins to eat wordlessly, legs propped up on the coffee table, almost inhaling the food. if you move your leg a little, your bodies would touch.

you don't reply. you can't reply. you start eating the food too, relishing the flavours in silence.

"want some more? there's more egg bits towards the bottom, i know you-"

"it doesn't matter if you think i'm the sexiest woman. clearly he doesn't."

"is jay the only person whose opinion matters?"

"are you really asking me that?"

"what i am asking you is that you've wasted one year and a half pining over a man who doesn't care for anything more than sex, and you still hope he's worth your time?"

your breath stutters. seungcheol's staring at you, and you feel shameful and self-conscious suddenly. all the fire and rage from your earlier comments dissipate and you sigh.

"you think i don't have a chance at all?"

"jay is an asshole, y/n. i think that you shouldn't care about him at all. but that's just what i think. my opinion doesn't ma-"

"shut the fuck up," you extend a hand to grab his wrist and make him look at you again.

seungcheol does look at you again but doesn't say anything.

"my best friend says i like you."

seungcheol's fork clatters in his bowl and you both turn to look at each other.

you have no idea why you say that. sure, it's been on your mind all day, all evening, and suddenly you feel like you're on your toes around him through the day. even when you two sat together at work, you'd become oddly conscious of his presence in your periphery, which has never occurred to you before.

"do you?"

and you have no idea why he says it either. in all the million possible options of things he could've said right now, you'd never imagined him asking this to you right on your face.

so you have nothing to say, except a very shaky, a very feeble, "i don't know."

_

the next day, two things happen.

first, seungcheol isn't talking to you. well, he is talking. but not properly. talking like could you press the elevator button or do you want some grapes or did you read the mail.

second, jay's talking to you a lot. he follows you into the break room and apologises again for standing you up on his birthday night.

"it's okay really. i hope you had a wonderful time with mina." you don't make eye contact, not really interested in listening to his whining, instead more focused on making the espresso you know that seungcheol craves during the afternoon.

"i... just wanted to clarify. there's nothing between us, you know. nothing going on." "you don't have to clarify that to me-" "i know. but still. wanted to know if it's all good between us." you push your tongue into your cheek to stop a curse from coming out. finally you pick up the two mugs of coffee and face him. "yes jay, all's good." jay smiles widely. "so are we on for the annual company dinner for this weekend?"

shit. you'd forgotten about that.

"umm-"

"but we go every year!" and jay throws you those puppy eyes that bring out the wrinkles next to his eyes that were the first reason you'd fallen for him.

it, surprisingly, doesn't make you feel weak in the knees.

"i'll confirm by tonight, okay? gotta go."

you head straight to seungcheol's desk and put down the cup of coffee on his desk, making him look up from his desktop.

"do you have a plus one for the company dinner?"

his eyes widen, and he responds after a moment's pause. "no. but-"

"will you come with me?"

"what?"

"will you be my plus one?"

"but you're going with jay?"

"who told you that?"

"you did, genius. that's all you could talk about on monday."

you cringe internally. you don't even know why you do that- talking so much about jay, thinking so much about jay, just... caring so much for him. is it a parasocial thing? like people crush on their celebrities and make imaginary daydreams about taking care of their crushes? because jay certainly hasn't recicprocated even a tenth of your affection.

or maybe it's because of the sex. it is natural for friends with benefits to end up liking each other. well, in your case, liking the other without the other liking you. perhaps it's the physical intimacy. perhaps it's the consolation that you may be pushing thirty but you're still attractive enough to be on the market. perhaps it's the attention he gives you during your hookups. and perhaps it's the lack of attention from anyon-

wait.

you don't have a lack of attention. you have friends.

so it's not the attention bit.

is it specifically male attention?

but seungcheol is male. and he gives you a lot of attention, but only as a friend. you may be the sexiest woman he's ever met but he would never hook up with you. he's way out of your league.

"i don't want to go with jay." you finally respond back, clicking your tongue.

"huh? isn't that like your dream?"

"seungcheol. don't push it."

"i'm the one pushing it? i tell you not to like him, and you're mad at me. i tell you to like him, and you're still mad at me. what am i supposed to say, y/n?" and he pouts. fucking pouts at you like a little boy who's not allowed to eat sweets, and your heart breaks into a million pieces. you know he's not even trying to fake his cuteness (like jay does sometimes) and yet there's something so adorable about him right now that makes you want to-

fuck.

"just answer me, cheol. please. yes or no?"

"when have i ever said no to you?"

your mouth twists as you nod. he hasn't. ever said no to you.

"i'll tell jay i'll be going with you then."

you turn around to walk away, but seungcheol pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up close to his chest so that you have to tilt your head up to talk to him. "what?"

"is this some let's make jay jealous mission?"

"what?!" your eyes go wide and you scoff.

"of course NOT. what do you think i am? i'm not that desperate."

seungcheol sighs.

"whatever you say, darling."

_

seungcheol looks as good as ever when he comes around to pick you up and drive you to the company dinner that weekend.

"red suits you," he says, taking in the dress you've brought out from your mother's closet specially for this event. this dress is made to impress. it's the dress your mom wore at the party where she met your dad for the first time, and you've heard from dad countless times how enchanting she looked in the dress. you're hoping you'll do the dress half the justice, but clearly you haven't inherited your mother's body proportions, so it doesn't look as good as it did on her. and yet, the plunging sweetheart neckline allows you to wear pretty accessories that you hardly get to wear to work. it is really a dress to impress. somehow, something inside you wants to impress.... someone. and for some reason, you don't think it's jay.

the car ride is silent. it's extremely uncomfortable because you don't remember the last time you spent ten minutes in the same space as seungcheol without talking to him. you knew you shouldn't have raised the my friend thinks i like you shit. but you've raised it and now you can't go back. his question still lingers in your mind, and it feels like a challenge.

do you like him?

when you look at him in the moonlight, his jawline is shaved clean and his hair is slicked off his forehead. it's not like you've never realised before this how handsome seungcheol is. in fact, it was the one of the first things you'd noticed about him. he's got an aura about him that's so attractive from the outside. but as you grew closer to him, the attraction somewhat wore off into a casual comfort... where you can exist in the same space with him without double taking at his beautiful smile or wondering why his dimples are so cute.

but that's not to say that his appeal is lost on you.

under the moonlight, he looks godly.

''i heard jay's going with mina." he finally tells you when he parks into the parking lot.

"good for them." he looks at you and cocks an eyebrow, and you shrug.

you're about to open the door and step out, but he quickly grabs your hand across the car, and pulls you inside.

"umm. y/n, i don't know what you're doing. but i- whatever i said that day- look, i don't like jay because i think he's rude to you? but apart from that i'm sure he's a great guy and you should like him if you want to. and i have no right to say anything about it-"

"what?" you're so confused by his little monologue.

"sorry i'm saying this poorly. what i mean is, please don't let what i said that night make you avoid jay or anything."

"this isn't about that."

"it's not?" he tilts his head in query.

"no. this isn't about how i feel about jay."

"it's not?" he asks you again, his face more confused. you're tempted to smile at the cute confusion on his features, but you know it'll make him mad for spoiling this serious moment.

"this is about how i feel about you."

_

seungcheol does not utter any more words to you after that. there's still a very prominent confusion on his face, but he masks it well with his natural charm.

but you're not confused at all for once. everything seems to become clear to you with 100% HD clarity. for some reason, it all makes sense now. why your best friend thinks you're in love with seungcheol.

because you've never been in love before.

you've always fallen for the toxic type of person, like jay. relationships that are more about hookups and drunken fights than emotional bonds and care. and your past experience has made you feel that love is nothing smooth. it's always been a rocky path for you. push and pull, where you're both pushed around and pulled to meet to other's conveniences.

but being with seungcheol is so... different.

there's no loneliness. no push and pull, no compromise. only laughter and memories. he makes you smile you more than any of your love interests have made you smile. he makes you laugh ever so often. he takes care of you when you're sick. he cooks for you whenever he comes over because you can't cook to save your life. he wrote you a birthday card. he bought matching t-shirts from a thrift store because you both happened to like the design. right now, when you see the way he's talking to another colleague, his pretty lips articulating every word clearly, your heart warms with fondness. a stray hair sticks out, and you fix it back. he doesn't notice. or he pretends not to. when jay comes around within your periphery, he pulls you closer, and you can't help but smile again. something about everything he does is so endearing.

it's not a eureka moment.

and yet, it feels good to feel love for real for the first time of your life. you can die tonight happily, knowing you're capable of real love. because you know you do love seungcheol. for all his pouty tantrums and all his whining complaints, you love him the most in the world right now, and you simply cannot imagine choosing a life without him.

"do you want to dance?"

seungcheol's been deliberately avoiding eye contact, but now he looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights.

"no."

you giggle at the sudden reply. "why?" his frown deepens, and you tug at his lips with your fingers. "you don't look good when you frown." "it doesn't matter." "it does." "no one's looking at me." "no one's looking at me either." "shut up. jay's boring holes into your dress with the way he's ogling you." seungcheol's face flares up, and you're mildly amused. "and what about the boy i want to ogle?" "huh?" "you. you're so handsome, cheol." his eyes unfocus from jay and back at you, his eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

"what are you doing, y/n? why are you playing with my heart?"

"i'm not, though? i'm just telling you how i feel."

"and how's that?"

"i feel like dancing with you under the moonlight. i feel like going on a long drive with you. i feel like hugging you on the warmth of your couch until we fall asleep. i've never done these things, seungcheol, will you come with me?"

"never danced? fuck, you're not being treated right."

and he shows you. he takes you to the centre of the hall area, where the roof's glass so that it's slightly isolated from the result of the expanse, and the moonlight's shining in like a spotlight. there are only a few people dancing there, mostly couples. but seungcheol and you dance at the very centre, lost in each other's eyes, forgetting that this is a public place. it doesn't matter. nothing does. except him.

you are in love, your best friend's voice floats into your mind. and you smile as you look into seungcheol's eyes, realising she was right all along.

so you tell him.

"i love you, cheol."

seungcheol stutters in his step for a second. but it doesn't matter. your pace was anyway too slow. he pulls you closer against his chest, and cups your cheek with one hand. "what's that?"

"i told you this night's about you. and i've realised it now. i am in love."

and when seungcheol kisses you later that night, you're downright thankful you've finally realised your feelings. because how did you ever think you'd survive without his cherry kisses?

[theladybarnes]

CRIMSON AND CLOVER: CHAPTER THREE

" You know, you're not what I thought you'd be like ”

▸ summary: winter ends and so do relationships ▸ characters: robin buckley, eddie munson, & steve harrington 💕 (ft. dustin henderson and jonathan byers) ▸ word count: 13.7k         ▸ warnings: SEMI-SMUT (18+MINORS DNI) handjob, & angst ▸ series masterlist

DECEMBER (CONTINUED..)

 “You’re kidding me.”

 “I am not, Jonathan!” you hissed, looking down the hall. When there was no sign of anyone else coming out of their rooms, you continued on. “I just..left.”

 “But why would you just..that doesn’t make sense! Tell me from the beginning again.”

 Sighing, you sat down in the chair by the kitchen phone. It had been over an hour now of venting to Jonathan and because he’s currently hopped-up on whatever his friend Argyle supplied him, it’s taking longer to explain everything to him. 

 “Fine, but this is the last time.”

 “Last time, promise.”

 You go over the events that happened at the end of the night you spent at Steve’s. It was a bit painful to explain it in detail again but you really needed some advice from your friend. “..And when I looked back, he was standing there. Note in hand and everything.”

 “Christ.” he sighed, “And since then you two haven’t talked?”

 “I called him when I got home that afternoon. Other than that we’ve been thankfully busy. Mostly just school and then work. But I’ve switched with Keith a couple of times to avoid the long hours.”

 “You really know how to put on the theatrics, don’t you?”

 “Seriously?” you gaped, looking at the receiver as if it insulted you and not your friend on the other line. “I’m doing anything for theatrics. I’m literally trying to get out of possibly another fight.”

 “Yeah, which surely won’t happen the next time you see each other again.”

 “I’m sort of hoping it'll resolve itself by then.” he went silent for a moment and you knew that he was possibly coming to his own thoughts on it. “Don’t you think?”

 “I’m thinking you’re not gonna like what I have to say.”

 “I’m sure I can handle it. Just give it to me.” 

 He sighed softly, seeming to be more nervous at your request. But he spoke up either way. “I think you’re in the wrong for asking that much from Steve.”

 “..you’re right. I’m hanging up.” 

 “Would you let me finish?” Jonathan chuckled before he turned serious again. “I get where you’re coming from. I know that in your head it’s just logical for the guy with no official ties there to just leave and go with you.”

 “Good, you get it.” 

 “But,” he continued on. “I also think it’s wrong for you to assume it'd be easy. Steve Harrington has lived in Hawkins his whole life and despite any complaining he might have done to you at some point, a small part of him is gonna be scared shitless to just leave the comforts of home.”

 You frowned at your friend’s words. Hating that a small part of you felt like what you were hearing was right. “But I left home. I haven’t lived there in almost three years..”

 “And I’m sure if your parents asked you to come back you’d tell them no, right?”

 “I—“ the answer died on your tongue. At this point you weren’t sure what you’d actually say to a question like that. While Hawkins the place wasn’t your home, the people that inhabited it were. And you didn’t think you could give up any one of them. Especially Steve.

 “I know it sucks not to have things go your way. But sometimes you gotta take the curveballs life throws at you and do something else.”

 “Something else?” you frowned. “But..what about the relationship? The feelings we worked on getting out..all that was just for nothing? All because we let fear get in the way of progressing it?”

 Jonathan sighed and you can practically envision him with his hand on his hips right now. “Who says you guys are supposed to progress together? What if there’s changes along the way?..Look this is definitely something you should talk to Steve about. But, if this were me in the situation. I’d just do what my heart thinks is right. Even if it’s to the disappointment of others. Just do what makes you happy, you know?”

 The thought about what makes you happy was easy to answer. It was Steve. He was the only thing these days that made you the most happy. But Jonathan was right, if you truly went with what you wanted, some people along the way might get hurt. 

 “Henderson? You still there?”

 “I’m here I’m just..”  you sighed. You were about to ask about his thoughts on taking a gap year when the sound of a car engine cut you off. Dragging the phone and long cord with you, you peeked through the window to see Steve parking in your driveway. “Shit.” you whispered. “Can I call you back later?”

 “What? Why? Is Steve there?”

 “Yes,” you muttered, looking as he seemed to be talking to himself in the car. “I think he must have heard you lecturing me.” 

 “Good. The two of you need to seriously sort your shit out. Anyway, Argyle is gonna come over tonight. He has this new album he wants to show me.”

 “Fine, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

 “All right, sounds good. And look..just hear him out. Maybe he’s going through something we don’t know about, okay?” 

 The two of you muttered out a quick goodbye before dropping the phone back down. Grabbing your thick coat off the coat rack, you quickly made your way out the door. Closing it up behind you with a swift thud as Steve had just made his way out of his car.

 “Oh, hey.” he said nervously. “Guess you heard me coming in.”

 “Yeah.” you said plainly. “I was by the door anyway..”

 The two of you slowly moved towards each other. His usually confident demeanor faltered as he approached. His eyes, usually warm when looking at you, had a dull shine. Snow crunched beneath your boots as you both met in the middle of the driveway. It made your stomach twist to know that the two of you were not only nervous but awkward with each other. Even when you hated Steve you never felt this bad.

 “I missed you.” He said softly, reaching a hand out to place on your arm. “I missed you all week actually.” 

 “I missed you too.” you said softly, not even realizing that amidst the trouble, there was the need to see him again until he was before you now. Your eyes caught sight of a little patch of green peeking out from his shirt. Reaching forward you pull down his coat to expose the familiar tacky vest from work. “You came from work..”

 He chuckled a bit, nodding his head before he unzipped his coat, exposing the rest of the vest to you.“Yeah, I did. Would have come sooner, but I was sort of building up the courage.”

 That tugged at your heart a bit and you reached out to cup at his cheek. Rubbing with your thumb soothingly. “You should never be afraid to talk to me..”

 He reached up to place his hand on top of yours, a small smile on his face. “Never. I’ll always want to talk to you..it was getting you to talk to me that made me nervous.”

 Sighing, you look down to the ground. Not sure how the two of you were going to approach this. But things couldn’t continue this way. Turning your attention back to Steve, you give him what you hope came off as reassurance. “I’m listening..”

 Changing your hand to lace together, he led you over so that the two of you could lean against your Aunt’s car. Shading you under the roof of the parking spot and also placing you closer to his side. 

 “I have a small confession.” he murmured, moving his other free hand into his pocket. “I did come with other intentions than just talking.”

 You watched as he dug out a small box from his pocket. The size was oddly too familiar with something else but he quickly opened it up before you could question it. Peering down, you looked inside to find a beautiful gold necklace. 

 “Steve,” you softly gasped. “It’s not even Christmas yet.”

 “Humor me.” he said before reaching in. He pulled at the chain until he was able to dangle the center of the necklace to you. A small letter ‘S’ shined back at you. Nudging at your shoulders, he gently turned you around so that he could place the necklace around your neck, quickly locking it on. 

 Turning back to face him, the two of you glanced down at the accessory. It was a perfect fit. And though you’ve never been one to have your boyfriend’s name be proudly displayed for others to see, the small little S made your heart beat faster.

 “I've, uh, wanted to give that to you for some time now.” he said, clearing his throat. Almost nervously. “That box has been sitting in my sock drawer since the summer, honestly.” 

 “The summer?” you asked, “Why?”

 “Remember that night before we were stuck in the elevator?”

 You couldn’t help but smile a bit at the memory. It was the night that cemented your feelings for Steve. “Yeah,” you nodded. “There was that mess on the roof, then I got upset and you came over to cheer me up..it was perfect.”

 Steve smiled at that, nodding his head in agreement. 

 “That night changed everything for me.” He reached up to cup the side of your face, eyes boring down to yours when he suddenly turned serious. “I wanted to tell you I loved you a thousand times that night. But seeing as we weren’t there yet, I settled for trying to make a grand gesture sort of thing.”

 “You’ve loved me since that night?”

 “I’ve loved you since Prom, Honey.” 

 Your jaw slacked at the small confession. Unsure how you could have missed at all that Steve’s feelings for you had been that serious then. Prom had been the first time in months since the two of you kissed and he felt that strongly then?

 His hand reached out to hold the necklace, brushing his fingers lightly over the letter before he let go. “I got this the next day. Right in Starcourt.” he said, voice tinged with some sort of fondness. “Was gonna give it to you right when you entered the store, but then..”

 “I came from Billy’s attack.” you finished, reaching up to hold onto the necklace. “You wanted to give me this since then?”

 “I wanted to give it to you as a way to ask you to be my girl,” he looked down at the ground sadly. “But I guess now I’m giving it to you, to ask if you’re still my girl?” 

 You breath hitched at his words. It would seem leaving didn’t just prevent a fight from happening, but also put in a whole new worry for Steve. “I’m always gonna be your girl, Steve.” you said softly, reaching over to grab hold of his hand. 

 “Then why does it feel like I’m about to lose you?” 

 “You don’t have to lose me, Steve.” You sighed, letting go to lean back against the car. “In fact, I think me asking you to come with me proved otherwise.” 

 He straightened his composer, lips pursing at your words before he glanced up at you. “I told you, I can’t go with you. Not when I feel like I still need to be here.” 

 “I don’t get it, Steve.” You scoffed, pushing your hair away from your face. “How can you easily give me this necklace, talk about loving me for so long only to let me leave without even thinking about coming with me.” 

 “I can love you and know where I want to go, Trouble. It’s pretty easy to do both things.” He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. “What I don't get is how you can love me back but be upset that I want to stay here. Why is long distance out of the question?”

 “Because long distance isn’t feasible for us, Steve!” You moved to stand before him, peering up at his face better. “How can you and I, the same two people who sneak into each other’s houses in the dead of the night, the very people who are constantly touching each other, suddenly just deal with the next four years without seeing each other.”

 “We’d see each other,” he pointed. “We’d have holidays, birthdays, and surprises. There’s ways we’d work things out.” 

 You sighed, meeting his intense gaze. "Those are only if we even get the chance to see each other. You’re forgetting that there are going to be nights where the both of us are tired from either work or school and we wouldn’t even have the comfort of having each other.”

 He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I know but Hawkins is... it's my home. There's something here I can't just walk away from."

 “But you’re willing to walk away from us? From me?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady from the sudden ache in your throat. “I thought we were a team. I thought we'd want the same things..”

 He paced back and forth, unable to meet your gaze as he suddenly became torn. "My friends are here, my family is here.”

 "Why do you insist on staying stuck in Hawkins? You have so much potential, Steve. You could go anywhere, do anything, but you're choosing not to."

 The word slipped out before you could see the impact cut across Steve’s hurt face. It was the same word that Tommy had used just the other month and from Steve’s furrowed brows, you could tell it struck a nerve again. 

 "I'm not stuck, okay?” He gritted. “This is where I belong right now. I've got responsibilities here."

 "Responsibilities? What about your own dreams, Steve? What about your future?" you pressed again, exasperated at the fact that almost a week later and he still wasn’t seeing it. 

 "I've got people here who rely on me here, despite what you want or think." he countered, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.

 "But what about you? Have you ever thought about what you want?" you shot back, feeling the weight of the disagreement hit again. 

 He hesitated for a moment, eyes cast down on the ground before he could meet your gaze again. "Maybe I've never really thought about all of it. But I can't just up and leave everything behind.”

 "It's not about leaving everything behind, Steve. It's about growing, exploring, finding your own path," 

 There was a life for Steve outside of Hawkins. Outside of you, and though your main point was to have him explore that life with you, it was hurting to see that he didn’t want that for himself. 

 “Look, I know it’s new for me to not agree to what you want, but this isn’t by choice. Even when I was with Nancy, I told her the same thing. I’d stick around, make sure she was okay and work here. I wanna do that for everyone.” 

 Bringing up Nancy brought up a sour feeling that you shoved down. Knowing that in some way, this was Steve’s poor excuse. “I’m not Nancy Wheeler. Okay? I’m not gonna sit back and let the boy I love waste potential in a place that doesn’t deserve him.” you glared. “And in case you can’t tell, the others are all grown up now. They’re in high school, Robin is following up right after me in graduating. What happens when they’re all gone, Steve? Is that the time you figure out you wanna be with me?”

 Steve circled back towards you, finger pointing over at you. “That’s not fair for you to say. You know I want you, God, it’s literally the one thing that’s been consistent since I met you. Why can’t you understand that me being here doesn’t mean I’m not with any plans of my own, huh? Why is it automatically your way or nothing?”

 Tears welled up in your eyes the longer you stared at Steve. “Then tell me!” you cried out. Frustrated that you pushed him into thinking things had to go your way. “Tell me what it is you want! Because as far as I know it just sounds like excuses to not be with me!”

 “I thought I made that clear a while ago. I want you, dammit!” he yelled, moving to gently place his hands on your shoulders. “Please, can we just pause this? I need some time to figure this out. Can we... can we take a break from this?"

 You held your breath. Not quite ready to have Steve be so suddenly upset from all this. You couldn’t help but think back to what Jonathan warned you about. Steve wasn’t ready to leave this place. Even if you didn’t understand, it didn’t change how he felt. No matter how much you wished it would. 

 “What’s gonna change in the next six months, Steve? We fall even harder for each other and break up then? When are we finally gonna stop going in circles over this and realize we’re on different paths?”

 “Different paths?” he asked softly, confusion over his face. 

 “Yeah,” you sniffled. “Different paths..” 

 His jaw slacked a bit and you tried to keep your composure tough but the realization is hitting harder than you thought it would. Before you know it, your vision of Steve is suddenly blurred by your tears and you’re swaying in place to keep from running back in the house to burst into a sob.

 “Honey..”

 “I think we want different things, Steve. I want to explore, grow, and I thought we'd do that together. But if you can't leave Hawkins..then I need to understand that I can't ask you to." Wiping at your eyes, your sight cleared up to catch his expression mirrored the same anguish you felt inside.“I never meant to push this choice onto you. Not when you weren’t ready. I want you to want things with me. But if you aren’t ready then I need to let you go..”

 “Please,” he pleaded, “I love you.”

 "I love you too," you whispered, ignoring the ice that was gripping onto your heart at the moment. "But if we keep this same argument months later..who knows what might happen. We might even grow to hate each other..”

 He reached for your hand, desperation in his eyes as he pulled you closer. "We can work this out. We've been through so much worse than this."

 "I know, but this is different," you said softly, pulling your hand away gently. "I feel like we both need to figure ourselves out.”

 "I don't want to lose you," he pleaded, voice cracking. 

 "I don't want to lose you either," you admitted, tears streaming down your cheeks. "But I need to move forward. And I don’t think I can do that when I know there’s going to be pain in the future.”

 He looked broken as he watched you take a step back. Hand twitching out to you before he brought it down to his side. "What... what do you want me to do?"

 The words felt like knives, but they needed to be said. "I need you to let me go too, Steve..”

 His eyes glistened with unshed tears, his silence speaking volumes. "So this is it?" he finally whispered. “After everything we’re just..over?”

 “Please, Steve.” you pleaded softly. “Let me go too.” 

 his hand reached up to cup your cheek, his gaze searching into yours. "This is what you really want?" You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. 

 "Yes."

 His lips met yours in a tender, bittersweet kiss, filled with all the love, and heartache that lingered between the two of you. It was a goodbye in itself, a lingering moment that you wished would go on for an eternity.

 When you pulled back, you carefully reached up to return the necklace, feeling like you were the person least deserving to wear his sign of love. But Steve quickly reached out to stop your hands. Shaking his head as he carefully readjusted it on you.

 “I’m– it’s yours. Regardless if we break up or not.” 

 Tears welled up in your eyes as you clutched the necklace tightly. "Steve..."

 "Please," he insisted softly. "You wanted me to make some decisions for myself? You keeping that is one of them.” 

 With a heavy heart, you watched as Steve stepped away from you. Hand reaching up to pinch at the side of his nose as he tried to conceal his emotions from coming through. It took everything in you to let him return back to his car. 

 You thought back to what Jonathan had said about doing what your heart thought was right. Even if it was to the disappointment of others. 

 Little did you know it’d be you who was disappointed in the end.

 JANUARY (THREE WEEKS LATER) 

 It had been a long dead night over at Family Video. The soft radio playing from the speakers was the only noise between you and Robin for the past hour. Something you were a little grateful for considering the awkwardness that came in when you first clocked in for your night shift.

 It was three weeks since that night in the driveway and things within your small group of friends had turned painfully stagnant. Whether it be from your three week reclusive approach, or Steve’s avoiding one. No one knew how to handle the break up. Hell, neither one of you would so why would your friends be able to?

 But along with the sadness between you and Steve came the awkwardness with Robin. Stuck between being friends with the both of you. It wasn’t until a couple of days ago that she had slipped up about knowing the details of everything that happened. Causing your walls to momentarily come up around her. 

 But that happened over a week ago and you were really trying not to push away one of your newer friends all because of a bad breakup. Robin was nice to you before even knowing Steve personally. So with that in mind, you tried your best the whole night to be friendlier. Or as friendly as you could be. But that didn’t mean it was going to be easy.

 Robin had restocked the snacks, you organized the return tapes, and then lastly the two of you worked together to set up a promo spot for tomorrow’s movie selections, All in record timing. Once Robin noticed you were slowly opening up again, she seemed to be keen to make up for the few awkward hours before. 

 “I don’t know how I feel about Weird Science.” Robin sighed, looking over the stack of movies facing the door. You set down the clipboard with the list of things to order for tomorrow to go join her on the other side of the counter.

 “I know. But, considering we’ve got Fright Night and Teen Wolf up, it’s at least keeping with the whole sciencey-horror theme.”

 “There’s absolutely nothing horror to do with Weird Science.” Robin scoffed as she adjusted one of the boxes, scrunching her nose over at the mini poster for Teen Wolf. “Keith’s gonna kill us.”

 “It can be considered scary if you’re bad at Science?” you tried, looking back over to her. She had a knowing look on her face that had your confidence in the set up crumpling. “Okay, he might. But just say I did it.”

 “Right.” she snorted. “It’s not like he’d ever tell you anything anyway.” 

 Reaching back for the stock list, you go over all the candies once more before sighing. It’s been a slow night and you weren’t looking forward to another hour here. But this was the life of a working teen and you were oddly still putting up with it. 

 Robin, who was quietly tidying up around the register, suddenly let out a loud gasp. “Oh no!” she said, reaching down the counter for her bag. You quickly left the candy area to join back at her side. Looking at her worriedly.

 “What’s wrong?”

 She pulled out a miniature calendar from her bag. Flipping through the pages rapidly until she landed on one with scribbled notes on it. “I completely forgot to write up the assignment needed for the Terminator’s class.” 

 The familiar name amused you momentarily before you glanced over her shoulder to see the circled date. “Shit.” you frowned, “How many pages do you need?”

 “Just three, but I barely had my notes put together yesterday.” she looked through her bag for another notebook before flipping through them for a certain spot. “God I’m gonna have to pull an all-nighter after this.”

 Glancing at your watch, you wince at the late hour. “You need more time.” 

 She ignored you momentarily to push back the notebook and calendar into her bag before coming back up. Biting her lip in worry. You couldn’t help but feel bad for your friend. Feeling the familiar panic of academic stress. Pushing the phone towards her, you nudge for her to take the receiver. “Call Steve to pick you up. Then at least you can get started sooner.”

 “What?” she gaped, looking at the clock on the back wall. “No, I-I can’t do that! You’d be by yourself.”

 “It’s fine, Robin.” you reassured her, pushing the handle into her hands. “Steve will get here fast, and you’ll at least get a big enough head start and maybe catch some hours of sleep before school.” 

 “No,” she shook her head. “I wouldn’t feel right leaving you by yourself. What if some creepy guy comes in and murders you?”

 You stood still blinking over at her. Wondering why she’d mention something so creepy at a time like this. “Not that I needed that new fear, but I’ll be safe. I’m a big girl.” You take the base of the phone, dialing the number practically engraved in your mind before pushing it to her ear. “What I do need is for you to study. So get to begging.”

 There’s a moment of worry on her face before the sound of Steve’s voice perked up through the phone. She thankfully gets the idea of you not backing down from your offer and asks Steve to come take her home. You give her a thumbs up and get the area ready to close off. Needing the distraction from the inevitable moment of seeing Steve again for the first time in days.

 Robin helped too. Making sure the windows and backdoors were all checked and locked before joining you back in the front. It was only a couple of minutes before the headlights of Steve’s car shined through the store.

 A part of you hated the idea of being alone. It was going to be creepy. But the sight of Steve stepping out of his car, hand combing through his lush hair, made you want more than ever for Robin to get out of here. The sound of the door ringing open snapped you into averting your gaze from the boy and you quickly meddled with the few papers in front of you to keep your focus on.

 “Hey, you guys ready to go?”

 “Uh, it’s just me, actually.” Robin said, grabbing her bag. “Henderson is gonna wait out till closing and for her Aunt to pick her up.”

 Without even having to look up, you knew that Steve’s eyes were on you now. It was like a magnetic pull that he still had on you. But you couldn’t look up just yet. Not when you knew what kind of face he’d be giving you right now. “Is that true?” he asked softly. 

 “Uhh, yeah, I was gonna call her in twenty minutes and let her know.” you coughed, face down. The sound of his keys jingling was oddly loud, but not as loud as the sound of your heart beat. 

 Before you knew it, Steve moved to stand in front of you at the counter. Forcing you to finally make eye contact with him. His eyes were etched with the same worry that looked at you the night in your driveway. You tried not to visibly recoil from the ache that burst into your chest.

 “I could come back for you.” he offered softly. A small bit of confidence in his voice. 

 “That’s fine, Steve. I’ll get home.”

 “I’m serious,” he frowned. “I could just come back. You’d be able to close up and maybe get some–”

 “NO.” you said quickly, having to physically take a step back. There’s a flicker of hurt over Steve’s face and he’s balled up the fist holding onto his keys. You can’t help but feel like how it was that second year here when you were cruel to him on purpose. Pushing him away from having still been mad at him. 

 You didn’t feel good then and you don’t feel good now.

“I’ll be fine,” you said more nicely after a minute of awkward silence. “You should take her home..she really needs the extra time.”

 He glanced over at Robin, giving her a questioning look, but all she did was mouth a please to him before he nodded his head. Backing away from the counter almost defeatedly. “Be safe.” he said softly, shuffling over towards the front door. 

 Taking that as a leaving cue, Robin picked up her bag from the counter. Reaching over to place her hand over yours as she threw you a sympathetic smile. “I owe you a million for this. Call me later so I know you’re okay?”

 “A million and one.” you said softly, trying to smile back. But with Steve’s presence there you’re sure it’s more wincing than you wished. “I’ll call you.” you added.

 The two make their leave after that agreement. Quietly making their exit from the store while you stayed over at the counter. They quickly enter the car, leaving you and family video alone for the rest of the night.

  Thirty minutes later and you’re done with the store being dead. If Keith wanted to get mad at you for closing early, then he could pout about it in the office tomorrow. Right now, all you wanted was to get into your bed and try not to think about the haunting brown eyes that looked at you with such concern tonight. 

 Picking up the phone, you made an attempt to reach out to someone at home. But with your Aunt possibly still out and Dustin most likely hanging out with your friends, there’s no one there to answer your call. You’re suddenly filled with panic of how the hell you’re getting out of here. 

 A part of you thinks it might be fine to just call Steve. It’s not like he’d be upset since he was so adamant before. But even the short car ride home would be long enough for that horrible pain to come back in and you didn’t think you could handle that. Nor did you want to put Steve through that either.

 Looking at your watch, you realize you’ll at least be able to make the last bus for the night if you close up now.

 Rushing to the back, you make a move to grab your jacket and purse, ready to lock up and get the hell out of here. But before you could grab the keys, you could hear the sound of the door’s bell jingle. 

 “Dammit!” you whispered to yourself. Of course tonight you’d still have to deal with annoying customers. Turning off the light in the room, you grab the keys and slowly enter back into the front. “Uh hey, sorry but we’re actually closing up–”

 The sight of an empty front desk killed off your words instantly.

 “Hello?” you called out. Taking a small hesitant step, you enter the counter booth and try to peer out into the store. There isn’t a soul in the place. 

 Biting your lip, you reached over to the phone on the counter. Unsure of who’d you’d even cal-

 “Lovely night, isn’t it?” 

 You let out a small yelp, grabbing the clipboard near you and swatting it to the direction of the mysterious voice. 

 “OW!” 

 Peeking your eyes open, you’re welcomed to the sight of Eddie rubbing the side of his head. A glare on his face as he looked over at you. 

 “Is that how you greet all your customers?” he chided.

 Setting down the clipboard, you use your hands to lean against the counter. Getting in some air to help calm you down before you looked back up at Eddie again. This time you used your hand to slap at his arm.

 “OKAY! Really?!” he asked as he moved to rub his hand. 

 “Yes, Eddie, really! Why the hell did you come in and scare me like that?”

 “Scare you?” he scoffed. “I said it was a nice night!”

 Frowning, you crossed your arms over your chest. “Oh yeah? And so sneaking up behind me as I called out to a totally empty store didn’t make you think I’d freak out?”

 “I thought you’d enjoy a different kind of greeting.” 

 Sighing, you turned away from Eddie, ignoring his presence momentarily so that you could finish up all that you needed before you’d eventually push him out. Even if you were about to have a heart attack, you’d still make it in time to catch that bus.

 “So I’m bored tonight.” Eddie yawned out, moving to stand in front of the counter before you. Unaware that you’ve moved on to closing up rather than waiting around. 

 “How fun.” you replied back, collecting the inventory papers together. 

 He tapped his hands against the counter, looking over the place before the VHS display caught his attention. “None of these go together.” he snorted, picking up one of the tapes. “Weird Science wasn’t even scary.”

 “I wasn’t going for scary.” you muttered, reaching out to grab the tape from his hands to set out on the counter. “I was going for..sciencey-horror..ish.”

 “Ish?” he smirked. “When did they bring in that genre?”

 “They brought it in just for Family Video, didn’t you know?” you shrugged. 

 He reached over for the copy of Fright Night next. Reading the back description out loud to himself before his gaze returned back on you. “Got a thing for vamps?”

  “Nah, but that Chris Sarandon is kinda hot.” you said quickly as you grabbed the tape and scanned it into the checkout before Eddie could change his mind. “Will that be all tonight?”

 He finally caught on to how rushed you were making things. Dramatically, he spun around to look around the store as if he had a line of people waiting behind him. 

 “Are you trying to kick me out, Princess?”

 “Yes!” you laughed, waving your hand out for him to pass over the rental fee. “If I close the store now I can catch the last bus home.”

 Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out a couple of crumpled up dollar bills for you. “Why the hell are you taking the bus this late? It’s not safe.”

 You want to tell him because a giant flesh monster scrunched your car up into a ball last summer. But since that wasn’t an option, you settled for the semi truthful answer. “Because I have no car and need to get home.”

 He watched in silence as you flattened out the crumbled money before adding it to the registry. You noticed that he’s given more than needed and figure he’s already prepaying for his inevitable late fee. 

 “So..why don’t I just give you a ride home?”

 You waited until you closed the register before looking over at him. There was a bit of pink to his cheeks and you wondered how someone who had this usual odd confidence could be nervous about offering a ride. 

 “You know, Robin warned me about creepy guys coming in tonight.” you teased, watching as his face turned from nervous to shock. 

 “Offering a ride constitutes me being creepy now?”  

 “Probably.” you laughed as you watched Eddie cross his arms over his chest. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to be a bother to your night anyway. You were probably coming in to grab a movie and head home.”

 “It’d be an honor to drive you home, Henderson. Lord knows I gotta work on doing the whole nice friend thing.”

 “Oh and we’re friends suddenly?”

 “It’s what I’d call us.”

 Quickly, you closed up the computer, shutting it down so that you can end the night finally. “You kinda have to know a thing or two about each other before you can say you’re friends.” you pointed out before reaching down to grab your stuff. 

 “You know a lot about me.”

 “Like?”

 He tapped at the cover of the tape smiling at you. “That I got a thing for vamps too.” he winked, making you roll your eyes. “Besides, what better way to get to know each other better than with a nice ride home?”

 You let out a small sigh, unsure what the hell you were just about to agree to. But if he was cool enough to hang out with Dustin and his friends. Then you shouldn’t dwell too much on the simple favor. Right? 

 “It wouldn’t be trouble for you?”

 “You’re trouble, that’s for sure.” he chuckled. “But the ride isn’t.”

 The words sound all too familiar to you and you can’t help but blink a couple of times over at him. He’s not aware of the history of that nickname, and you hold back on telling him in favor of nodding your head. 

 “Let’s head out then.” you said instead.

 The next five minutes are left with you closing up the store with Eddie closely behind you. Talking about his recent venture out to Indianapolis for the weekend and how he’s excited to finally finish up the school year, again. 

 Oddly, you found yourself actually enjoying his company. It was sort of light spirited and completely free of problems. Something you haven’t had in a while. The only downside was playing down events that took part in the time you’ve dealt with the upside down. Like how you became close to Nancy and Jonathan. Or why Billy’s break up with you was a bigger deal and the fight he had with Steve. Or the damn mall fire. Everything had to be vague, but Eddie didn’t seem to mind. He actually enjoyed talking less about the heavy stuff and focusing instead on the more fun. 

 It was nice not to really think of the stresses you were bound to have this year and focus on silly things. Like what sort of bands Eddie listened to. 

 “So Iron Maiden isn’t a cool rock band led by girls?”

 “It’s like you’re musically inept outside of pop.” Eddie laughed as he parked his car just on the street of your house. You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction before you shrugged your shoulders. 

 “It’s not all pop. I like rock too.”

 “Really? You like rock. Like who?”

 “Joan Jett.” you said simply after thinking it over for a second. “She’s got killer makeup, great voice, good music. I love her songs. ” He raised a brow at you, almost waiting out to see if you were fibbing or not. 

 “She is pretty cool.” he agreed eventually before slapping gently at the wheel. “All right, that settles it. The Henderson family is officially a lot cooler than I expected.”

 “Oh?” you laughed. “You’re just figuring this out now?”

 “Not to mention you’re all so humble too.” 

 You playfully slapped his shoulder. “Don’t you forget it.” you smirked, reaching down to grab your bag from the floor. “Thank you for the ride and music lesson. I guess that means people from the Munson family are a lot nicer than I expected.”

 “Ahh, that stings a little.” he laughed, shaking his head. “But honestly, I think you should just say that the Munson family are nice to people like you.”

 “People like me?” you frowned, unsure what he meant exactly by that. “Care to elaborate?”

 “I would,” he said as he glanced towards your driveway. “But it’s late and a gentleman should never keep a lady from getting some sleep.”

 “Suddenly you’re a gentleman?”

 “Get out of my van.” he deadpanned, waving you off. “Here I am trying to charm you and you’re throwing me off with your quips.” 

 With a giggle you climbed down from the seat, ready to close the door after you when suddenly a thought came into mind. “Maybe we can hang out again?” you said softly, unsure of where you were going with this offer. “You can tell me what kind of person I’m like and maybe show me more of those groups you wouldn’t shut up about?”

 Eddie’s chest rose as he quickly sucked in some air. His brown eyes widened in shock before he quickly changed his face back to his familiar smile. “And you’d be okay hanging out with a creep like me?”

 “Wouldn’t be my first time.”

 He seemed to question that answer before he shrugged his shoulders. “You got a deal. I’ll uh, see you soon then.” He held up the VHS tape with a small smile. “That is if Chris Sarandon doesn’t get me.”

 “Oh that’s terrible.” You laughed, finding humor in his cheesy words. But instead of being embarrassed, he only grinned wider. Like that was the reaction he was looking for.

 “As long as it’s gotcha laughing.” He winked before changing the gear in his car. “Till next time, Princess!”

 You waved him off, waiting until he was turned around and back on the street before making your way up the driveway to your house. It’s odd but you found that you’re smiling genuinely about something for the first time in weeks. And it’s because of Eddie Munson of all people. Making a new friend must have been the thing you needed right now. Especially when you thought about how much you’d be laughing when you got to hang out with him again.

 “Your Aunt’s car looks a lot like Eddie Munson’s van.” said a voice suddenly, disrupting your thoughts. 

 It scared you a bit. Causing you to let out a small gasp as your head snapped towards the direction of the noise. 

 At your house stood Steve. Back resting against the front door with his head hung to keep his gaze downward and off from you. The gravel beneath your feet was the only noise as you slowly made your way over.

 “What are you doing here?” you asked slightly out of breath. Your composure was calm but the sight of Steve standing there had you feeling anxious. 

 “I drove by your house and noticed no one was home..was worried you’d still be stuck at the store.”

 “Oh.” 

 He pushed himself off the wall, closing the rest of the gap that kept you two apart. On his face was a look you weren’t quite place. Was it anger? Disappointment? Worry? Jealousy? 

 “I could’ve come back for you.”

 “Steve..” you sighed. He held up a hand, shaking his head as he seemingly tried to calm himself down. 

 “We wouldn’t have had to talk. It could have been just a ride. You’d have never needed to talk to Eddie Munson or get a ride from him.” 

 There’s a hint of disdain the way he dragged out Eddie’s name and you couldn’t help but sigh again. This was something you had worried about when Dustin had started to hang out with Eddie. The two were close these days. With how long that ridiculous game took, it’d be crazy for them to not have bonded by now. And while you knew deep down that your cousin could hold strong friendships with everyone. Steve did not.

 For a short while, Dustin was the closest thing he had to a best friend before Robin came into the picture. But the very idea of Steve hating a simple ride from Eddie threw you off.  

 “He came to rent a movie right when I tried calling home. Okay?” you crossed your arms, tilting your head a bit. “He’s a nice guy..he offered the ride when I told him I didn’t have a car.”

 “But I could have come. I would have.”

 “I didn’t want you to come.” You said slowly watching again as the bitter truth caused the hurt cut across Steve’s face. “We haven’t been alone in weeks. The silence would only make things..painful.”

 His head dropped quickly to look back to the ground while you wrapped your arms around yourself. This wasn’t the kind of shit you wanted to add to Steve’s list of problems. The break up was hard..period. But no matter how you go about things, you can’t stop this pain from coming in. 

 “I just wanted to make sure you were safe..” 

 “I know..thank you.” 

 He looked back up and raised a hand. Almost like he was going to reach out for you. And while you were dying to feel the touch of his skin again, doing that would probably only make things harder on the two of you. So without another thought, you took a step back from him. 

 His hand dropped quickly, stuffing into his pocket while he covered up his face with his other hand. Rubbing at the corners of his nose before he turned his gaze back towards the road. There was a glazed sort of look in his eyes. 

 “Right, so you’re here. I’ll just uh, head back home.” 

 You’re about to nod your head, but Steve didn’t even get the chance to see as he quickly turned and dashed away from your side. Moving towards the direction of the driveway. The sight of his retreating figure only hurt your chest even more as your thoughts were plagued with all the things he must be thinking right now. 

 The night of Tina’s Halloween party came into mind. The way he looked driving you home after hearing the truth from Nancy’s drunken confession. Before you know it, you’re chasing after him. 

 “Steve?” you called out when you reached close to his backside. He spun around quickly, almost bumping into you and causing you to fall back. But he quickly reached out to catch you. Cradling you close to his side until you were able to get your footing right.

 “Are you alright?” He asked, checking over you before he let go. His eyes were red and even if it weren’t cold you’d know it was from how he was probably feeling right now. 

 Reaching out, you couldn’t help but cup at his cheek. Watching as his eyes slipped close from the relaxing touch. It’s been weeks since either of you have been able to share this kind of comfort. An intimate moment that you shouldn’t be having with him. Not when things were already so hard. But just because things were over doesn’t mean the need to make sure Steve was okay could go away so easily. Especially when in moments like this, when he still meant the world to you.

 “I need time.” you said quickly, ignoring the worried voice in your head. 

 “Time?” he asked softly, eyes opening slowly to look down at you. The pad of your thumb brushed over his cheek and you could feel the warmth underneath. Your mind replays a supercut of all the moments you’ve felt that cheek. Kissing, against your own, against your body.

 God this was a mess. You were a mess.

 “I need time to feel comfortable around you again..I need to get over you, Steve. But I can’t do that if you’re still trying to be my hero..”

 “Hero.” he chuckled sadly, shaking his head from your gip. The brim of his eyes were red and he looked suddenly tired. “Never really did a good job of that, huh? Guess I’m supposed to be just your coworker now?”

 For a second you couldn’t speak. Only shaking your head no as you tried to reassure him that what he was thinking wasn’t true. He was everything to you. He could never be anything as casual as a coworker. But at the moment, you didn’t know what you could call Steve. He wasn’t your boyfriend, nor your enemy, and friend felt wrong. 

 “You’re just..Steve.”

 His throat bobbed. Like that was the worst answer he was expecting. And though you wanted to reach out again and pull him close, you couldn’t. Because this was just how things had to be. Just the two of you stuck in this limbo of love and loss. 

 “Right,” he said after a minute. “Just..Steve.”

 You opened your mouth, ready to apologize if what you said came off worse than you thought. But Steve quickly caught onto that and held a hand up, waving you off a bit. “I get it.” he said a bit curtly. “I’ll see you around, Hone–Troub– Henderson.”

 Again he’s gone from your side without a proper look at your reaction. He practically sprinted over to his car across the street, not once turning back. It was only a second after he pushed himself into his seat that his car was revving to life and leaving the block. 

 You waited out until you couldn’t see the taillights of his car before you forced yourself inside the house. 

 The usual warmth of your home wasn’t welcoming at all. All it reminded you was how cold you were feeling and no matter what, nothing could thaw out this permafrost that surrounded your heart. The empty house taunted you with the loneliness you were feeling. 

 That’s because you’re alone now. (Tick)

 “I’m not alone.” you whispered softly, making your way to your room.

 You will be. (Tock)

 FEBRUARY (VALENTINE’S DAY)

 It’s four weeks after that night in front of your house that you found yourself with Eddie Munson again. The two of you have changed simple hang outs into make outs,then into something else you couldn’t quite place. This night in particular, you found yourself knocking on his trailer door after work. 

 “Fuck, don’t stop.” Eddie groaned.

 The two of you were sitting on the dingy couch. Some loud tv show playing in the background as you straddled Eddie’s strong thigh. It’s been like this for a while now. What was originally just a chance to makeout with someone you trusted on Valentine’s day. Turned into Eddie flirting with you and you eventually feeling the need to make up for his lack of dating life. 

 It was Valentine’s day and you had unfortunately worked the night shift over at Family Video. Something you would have been pissed about last year. But considering the current changes in your love life, you didn’t have the room to be too upset. Especially when you found out you worked with Robin. That gave the two of you five hours to complain about how complicated love was. 

 Kind of like how your relationship with Eddie had turned from friends to..complicated.

 “God, you’re so whiny.” you smirked, pausing the movements of your hands. You glanced down to his lap, getting another look at the size of Eddie’s cock. It was red and hard against the base of his stomach. Weeping from the tip from the few strokes you had given him. It was only the second time you’ve done this with Eddie and you’re still stunned by how he gets from a simple handjob.

 “Shut up.” he gritted, letting his head sag back against the couch. “If you’d have any idea how good you are at this, you’d be just as desperate too.” The ego boost does something to you, and you quickly lean in to press your lips roughly against his. Causing the boy to let out a loud groan before he fought back. 

 The kiss was so different from your past boyfriends. Billy had always been so dominant, taking what he wanted without thinking too much if you liked it or not. Steve’s was sweet, hot, and romantic. As if it were the last kiss on Earth. And Eddie’s was fierce. Like he wanted you to remember him hours later.

 The tip of his tongue poked through your lips, brushing against yours as he deepened the kiss. His hand went down from your neck to grab at your hips. Pulling you closer into his lap. It made your head spin a bit but you pulled back enough to tighten your grip around his cock. Picking up the pace with your wrist. During times like this, Eddie never lasted long. He was already riding high from just kissing, and with the added teasing he’d never make it long.

 His other arm moved to grip at your thigh. Digging his fingers with every jerk that his hips gave as he reached closer to his climax. He jerked his leg up, giving you a slight sensation between your legs as you straddled him. While small, the touch was stimulating enough to have your eyes fluttering a bit. It’s been a while since you’ve really let anyone get you this aroused but you’re finding it hard not to roll your hips.

 “That is, princess.” he cooed, making your face get a hot flush. “Let me make you feel good.”

 The dirty words had your head spinning a bit and you pulled back enough to stick your face into his neck. Sucking lightly against the vein on his neck while continuing to jerk your wrist. Eddie’s breathing began to grow louder. 

 “Yes, fuck, please don’t stop.” Eddie rasped, letting the wrecked voice send a chill up your back. It pleased you to know you had this boy at the mercy of your hands. Moving your hand and wrist faster now in order to work him over. You made sure to use your long nails at the sensitive skin of his cock, causing Eddie to whimper whenever it was dragged closer to his slit.

 He moved to rest his face against your neck, pressing soft kisses at your skin while his other hand moved to cup at your breast. The only material keeping him from touching your warm skin being the bra you managed to keep on during his fondling earlier. 

 The gentle squeezing plus the ridge on his thigh you were rolling on hit just the right spot to have you letting out a moan yourself. Unfortunately, with how close Eddie was, there wasn’t going to be a chance for you to come with him. 

 “Come for me, Ed.” you whispered into his ear, another shudder falling from him. Stopping your rolling, you gave the base of his cock one good squeeze before jerking at a quicker pace. 

 The base of his member twitched in your hands and when Eddie let go of your breast, you watched in awe as he gripped to your hips, focusing down at your movements before he let out a loud guttural moan. 

 Ropes of white hot cum began to shoot out from the slit of his cock, coating your hand as you carefully continued with the jerking motion. It wasn’t until you watched as Eddie’s head fell back from ecstasy that you gently let go of him. 

 The mess before you doesn’t help with your sudden unattended arousal, but you remove yourself anyway. Quietly letting him know you were going to clean yourself off. The water quickly washed away all the remnants of your night and you quickly glanced up to fix up your appearance. The sight of your necklace quickly stole your attention.

 The small single ‘S’ sitting on the middle of your chest brought a pang of guilt to your chest. You hadn’t taken off the necklace since the night Steve gave it to you. Something that was probably wrong considering what you were just doing with Eddie. But wearing it brought you a sense of comfort that you couldn’t bring yourself to give up. 

 After you got yourself together, you emerged from the bathroom to find Eddie was still on the couch. He was tucked back in his pants but still with the belt unbuckled as he continued to catch his breath. A small snicker fell past your lips and you quickly covered your mouth when his eyes turned to look over at you. 

 “It’s not funny.” he frowned, trying not to smile at your amusement. “I’m literally a mess and you’re looking over at me with that goofy grin on your face.”

 “My face is never goofy.” you said as a matter of fact, hand reaching up to gently hold onto the necklace. “If anything, it’s your position that’s goofy.”

 Eddie held a hand up, pretending to mimic your voice through his hand while you moved towards the couch. It was a struggle to find your sweater amongst the mess of the room, especially when you just threw it behind you earlier. But before you could bend over to pick up the item, Eddie had climbed up from the couch to you. 

 Placing his hands gently at your hips so that he could have you face him. “Let me make you feel good, Princess. I know you didn’t get to come.” he said softly, rubbing his thumbs on the bare expanse of your stomach. 

 It hurt to look up into Eddie’s eyes. They were warm and so full of a genuine interest in you. Like you were the only person he cared to look at. It made moments like this confusing. Where your mind knew that this would make you feel right and move on, but something in your heart made it hard to follow through it. 

 Letting go of the necklace, you reached out to cup the side of Eddie’s face. Letting your thumb brush across the apple of his cheek before you gently pressed a kiss. “I’m fine.” you said softly, getting out of his grip to reach for the sweater. From the side of your eyes, you could see that Eddie was watching you as you pulled the material over your head.

 From his calmness you knew where this conversation was going to go. It’s not the first time Eddie’s pointed out an offer nor would it likely be his last.

 “Hey,” he coughed softly, shuffling awkwardly closer so he could rest a hand against your arm. “I didn’t mean to put you off.” Calmly you moved over to place yours on top, rubbing soothingly in hopes to get that worried look off his face.

 “It’s okay.” you said softly, not really having the courage to tell him what you were thinking. “Like I said, I’m fine with what we’re doing now.”

 Eddie reached out and gently brushed a hair away from your face. “Are you?” he asked slowly. “Or..are you I don’t know, nervous? I mean shit, I’m more than grateful for what we do now..and labels are shit. But if you’re wanting to be something more official in order to feel comfortable doing more then I’m more than happy to–”

 “I like us being friends, Eddie.” you cut in. Scared for what words might come out next. You weren’t ready for that kind of talk. “Even if what we’re doing is not the most normal thing friends do. I like just hanging out and having fun.”

 There’s a flicker of something in Eddie’s eyes. Like he might have wanted a different answer. But he threw you his signature goofy smile and leaned in to press a mushy, rough kiss to your lips. Causing you to laugh against his hold. 

 “Sounds good to me, Princess. Now I’ve kept you stuck in this dump long enough. You should probably head off home.”

 You turned your watch over, noting that while it was a little bit late, it wasn’t the worst you’ve come home at. But since Eddie’s Uncle might be coming home soon, it’d probably be easier to leave now than stick around and dance around the friends with semi benefits relationship.

 “I’ll see you later, Eddie. You rest up.” you smiled, taking a step back from him. He chuckled at that, waving you off as you quickly made your way out the trailer door. The residents of Forest Hills trailer park were quiet that night. A dark and eerie chill going up your spine as you made your way over to your Aunt’s car. Across the way you glanced towards Max’s trailer. 

 The majority of her lights were all off aside from one flickering light from the main front window. Things had been rough for her lately. Ever since her stepdad took off and her Mother started working two jobs just to keep a roof over their heads. Things haven’t been the easiest. Especially with the sudden downsizing in lifestyle.

 You wished you could make things easier. But honestly, you didn’t have much you could say to Max that you thought would make her feel better. The events of the summer battle caught up to her and she began to close everyone off. Including you. 

 She was protecting herself from others. Every approach was met with a cold wall that you couldn’t crack. No matter what you or her friends did, she was a different girl now. She was here in Hawkins but her mind was somewhere else. And if you were being honest, you’d say that you were starting to feel the same.

 Your mind was busy focusing on other things like school, work, and your new thing with Eddie. But your heart wasn’t in it. Not the way it should be. It was permanently stuck in a loop of being unable to enjoy the new life you were making for yourself. All because of a boy in Loch Nora who still had power over it.

 Which was where you were now.

 Through the lush houses of the neighborhood and up the driveaway of the path that led to the Harrington household. You’ve been there so many times, but for the first ever you’re nervous to be there. You shouldn’t be here. 

 And you definitely shouldn’t be getting out of the car to walk to the front door. And you really shouldn’t be knocking..

 It only took Steve about a minute to come up to the door. He was more cleaned up since the last time you saw him. His hair was a little shorter, and there was a noticeable little bit of stubble on his lips. Almost like he’s debating whether or not to grow a mustache or not. It’s kind of nice..

 “Hey, you okay?” Steve asked worriedly. His brown eyes looked over your body, almost like he was checking to make sure you weren’t hurt. It was a little embarrassing. You didn’t mean to make him come down to the door, let alone be suddenly worried about you. 

 “I’m sorry…I just ended up here.” you whispered finally. Not really able to think of a better excuse to say. “I should go.” 

 He quickly stopped you by reaching out for your hand. It’s almost like an electric shock to have such contact from him again but you don’t dare let go of his warmth just yet. 

 “What’s wrong?”

 “Nothing.” you shook your head. “I just wanted to–”

 “See me?” He asked softly.

 You look at him for a long time. Feeling such an overwhelming amount of unsurety. Steve was someone who managed to wedge himself into your trust again. He earned it. But right now you were finding yourself struggling to be fully open to him. The thoughts running through your head were leading to a place where you two couldn’t go down. Not when things were so different now. 

 “It’s Valentine’s day,” you said lamely, wincing a bit at the dumb words that quickly came into mind. “D-did you go out?..”

 “You drove all the way over to my house to ask me that?”

 “..yes.” you lied, not needing him to know it was more like an impulsive need to see him tonight than some random inquiry.

 Steve looked a little bit taken back. Probably not quite believing the answer, but eventually went ahead and nodded his head. “Yeah,” he said honestly, to your heart’s dismay. “Uh, with Molly Stevens. I knew her from school last year.” 

 Nodding your head, you tried to control the jealousy that started to fill up in your throat. You have absolutely no right to feel this way about Steve. None whatsoever. But the very idea of him out with another girl brought up such a venom to your throat. 

 “Did you guys..” you waved your arms in front of you in a mindless motion. Stupidly unable to speak the words you’re dreading to hear. Steve looked only slightly amused as he crossed his arms over his chest like he’s caught you in your lie. The dark green shirt looked tight on his biceps, distracting you from that fact very quickly. 

 “No.” he answered simply. “Didn’t feel right.”

 “Right.” you nodded, letting out a small sigh of relief. “That’s um..good. I mean, not good but it’s um—“

 “And what about you?” He interrupted, raising a brow to you. “Did you go out?”

 “I worked tonight..” 

 He turned his wrist over, frowning down at the time his watch displayed to him. “It’s eleven thirty. Store closed at ten.”

 “I may have..gone to hang out with a friend.”

 “With Eddie.” he corrected.

 “Yes.”

 His lips pursed a bit before he took a step closer to you. Pushing your back to rest against the threshold of his door. “And did you guys..?”

 “No, not that.” You said evenly, gauging his reaction. “..but something like it.”

 For a moment Steve looked stunned. Like the words froze him in place. Now that previous venom is turning into guilt. He didn’t even do anything besides go out on an innocent date and here you were ready to burn Hawkins to find her. Meanwhile you were the one actually doing more with another guy.

 For someone that didn’t want to hurt Steve, you sure did so easily. 

 “I’m sorry.. I should go.” You whispered, feeling like you’ve put the guy through enough as of lately. Before you could fully turn around Steve had already reached out for your hand, keeping you in place. 

 The look on his face isn’t the same sad one you saw flicker moments before. It was determined now. Like he was fully trying to understand what you were saying before him. Carefully, he leaned down to press his face inches before yours. The small fan of his sigh brushed over your face. 

 The closeness should make you nervous. It should make you want to step back. But you’re curious to what he would say next.

 “So you mess around with Munson and still end up at my doorstep?” He asked softly. There’s a slight darkness in his tone that should warn you how bad an idea this is. But again, you ignored it. “Did he not make you feel good?”

 “He made me feel..fine.” you whispered back. Not sure how much you want to deep dive into whatever it is you and Eddie were doing. Turning your head up a bit, you peered up at him, placing your hand to rest gently on Steve’s chest to both keep him from getting closer and to get a chance to feel his heartbeat. 

 “Just fine? Not good?”

 “Steve,” you sighed. “We shouldn’t be talking about this.”

 But your words only encouraged him to pull you inside of his home. Keeping an arm hugging at the side of your waist as he pressed your back against the closed door. The personal space is gone out the window now that he’s able to wedge himself between your legs. 

 It’s painfully embarrassing how your body is instinctively trying to wrap around him. But you managed to keep your flat back against the door and legs unwrapped from his waist. But Steve seemed to be aware of your inner dilemma, moving to press himself even closer. 

 “He doesn’t make you feel good, honey?” He said finally, moving his face down your face to your neck. 

 The old nickname had your body shuddering. It’s been too long since you’ve heard it. This was definitely not the way you thought the conversation would go. But you’re struggling to find a way out of it. 

 “What I’m feeling isn’t your concern anymore..” 

 “Oh, it definitely is”. His hand slid down your waist, down to your hip, the tip of his fingers nearly diving past the waistband of your jeans. He casually rubbed his thumb underneath the hem of your shirt. “I want you feeling better than just fine.”

 “Yeah?” you asked softly, moving your hands to place against his shoulders now. They were itching to wrap around his neck, but you reminded yourself to keep from making things messier. Not that Steve seemed to care as he slid closer into the small space you had before. 

 “I want you to feel great.” he leaned down to your ear, pressing a kiss to the spot beneath your earlobe before he finished. “Actually, I want you feeling so fucked out of your mind that you wouldn’t dare go to another man’s house after fooling around with me.”

 There’s a darkness in Steve’s words but not one you’re afraid of. In fact, you’re excited. It had your heart racing and core growing so hot that you had to slightly rub your thighs together from the excitement. “Is t-that all?” you managed to ask, unable to think of a better response. 

 “That's all I want right now.”

 It’s hard not to feel that familiar spark that fires up your body when around Steve. You were feeling embarrassingly desperate for it at this point as you pulled him down towards you. “We shouldn’t be doing this. We’re broken up for a reason..”

 “It’s a bad idea.” he agreed, brushing his lips carefully down your neck. He seemed to catch the sparkle of the gold chain around your neck and followed down the line to where the S laid on your chest. He then gently placed a soft kiss against it.

 “We’re being so incredibly stupid right now.” you gasped, feeling his lips graze up again. 

 Though the tender touches were setting a blaze to your skin, it wasn’t quite satisfying the ache growing inside of you now. In fact, it was setting your whole body into a desperate, needy, frenzy. 

 “I gotta be honest with you, baby.” He said calmly.

 “Honest?” you gulped, failing to get yourself to cool down.

 “I really don’t care if we’re being stupid.” 

 Something took over you and you moved your hands up to grab hold of the hair at the nape of his neck. Pulling back so that you could get a good look at him. The browns in his eyes were gone and he looked at you with such a desire that you could feel yourself get embarrassingly aroused. 

 You should stop this. You should push him away and leave his house. Because there had to be something more important in life than having sex with Steve Harrington right now.

 But you really couldn’t remember what.

 “Fuck it.” You sighed shooting forward to press your lips against his. He didn’t waste his chance at all and wrapped his arms around. Using the palms to push down your lower back to press your chest closer to him. 

 At some point there’s a struggle with moving past the door and breaking the kiss apart. When air was needed, Steve quickly pulled back, pressing quick pecks to your lips before he turned to drag you up the stairs. Each step had your heart beating faster as you focused your sights on the warm glow coming out his bedroom door. Anticipation washing over you for whatever was going to happen next. 

 Once the two of you were in, he quickly shut the door behind him with the kick of his foot. Only giving you a second to catch your breath before he rushed over to capture your lips again.

 “Tell me,” he said against your lips. His hands were already working on your clothes, shedding them off with no problem. “Tell me you want this.”

 “I want this.” you said pulling back, moving to cup the sides of his face. “I want you.”

 For a second it looked like Steve wanted to say something else, but you pushed to press your lips back together. Capturing up any words he had in order to get back into the greedy need that had been building up. 

 Then after that, there’s nothing else left. Just you and Steve.

 The clock besides Steve’s bed ticked softly as you lay in his arms. It’s only been a short amount of time since the two of you had your fun and you can feel how Steve is easily relaxed against you. Letting his hands rub over your bare skin while he held you close. 

 It should make you worried. Things between you two were over. You both made it that way. But the soft kisses he was pressing against your arm and neck were too distracting. The feeling of completeness was too good to give up so quickly. And with the way Steve keeps pausing to give you looks, you think he might be thinking the same. 

 What could either one of you do? It’s been such a long attempt to get over him but all you can feel is yourself falling again with every touch. If anything, you think you might be even more in love with him after this. 

 You think back to the night where Eddie dropped you off. It felt like Steve was done with you. But like yourself, one night of giving into each other’s needs seemed to fill you both with an urge neither of you could quite get rid of just yet. 

 His hand reached out to cup at the side of your face. Bringing your attention back to him again before he kissed you.

 “Stay.” he said in between kissing you and down your cheek. No part of your face or body was left unscathed from his pink plump lips. You reveled in the sensation. Melting into his hold and allowing your body to relax again. It’s all you’ve missed these past few weeks. But even in Steve’s affection care, the worry of the real world sets in quickly with you. 

 “I can’t.” You said sadly. “It’s getting late.”

 “Who cares? It’s Friday night.” he replied, kissing even more now that he realized it has some sort of effect on your emotions. “You don’t even work tomorrow, I do.”

 “Your parents will be home soon, won’t they?”

 “They love you. Might even wanna take you out for breakfast.” You pulled back to give him a knowing look. He smirked a little bit before he rolled his eyes. “Okay, they’d freak out, but we’ll be quiet.”

 “I drove in my Aunt’s car..” you laughed, but turned to shuffle closer to him in the bed. He reached over to grab the back of your leg, moving your thigh now to drape over his waist. It brought your bare body dangerously close to his but he kept things tame for now. Moving to rub the palm of his hand on the round of your behind.

 “She can get it towed.”

 Rolling your eyes at his convenient answer, you pushed at his chest lightly. Attempting to get out of his warm hold but he changed to bring his arm back up to wrap around your waist, locking you in place. 

 “I’ll call the shop myself.”

 “Steve..” 

 Not wanting you to continue with the inevitable truth, he pressed his lips back onto yours. Shutting up the conversation and forcing you both to enjoy this fluke of a night. You give in to him, if only for a moment.

 It’s unfair how this is the most comfortable you’ve felt in days and it’s because you’re in his arms. But as soon as you begin to wonder why it’s like this, you remember how it felt to be in his arms that night. And how incredibly crushing it felt when you pulled away. So you made the kiss count until you eventually pulled away.

 His lips turned down into a pout. Which you forced yourself to ignore as you rolled out of the bed. A shiver hitting over yourself when you left the comforts of his warm side. Reaching down on the ground, you gather up the forgotten pieces of clothing you two discarded when you came into the room. 

 By the time you’ve got your outfit presentable and ready to go, Steve has moved to sit on the edge of his bed. Only a pair of boxers covering up his body now. He extended a hand out to you and you find yourself easily slipping it inside his. You hate how it feels perfect there. 

 “I want you..” He said, low and soft. Like he was almost afraid to say the words out loud.

 “I know,” you sighed, pulling the hand up towards your lips to press gentle kisses at his fingertips. “You always wanna go again.” 

 A frown flickered over his face, like he wasn’t quite looking for that answer. But he doesn’t say anything else, choosing instead to take your hand and lead you out the room and back downstairs to the front door again. 

 “Can I ask you something?” He asked nervously once the two of you were at the threshold. 

 “Yeah, of course.” 

 He paused for a second, looking deep into your eyes before he spoke again. “Did you come over on the pretense of having sex? Or because you really wanted to see me?” 

 A small pang of guilt began to build up in your chest again tonight. Reaching for his hand, you reached out to place it against your chest. Almost hoping that he’d feel the sincerity of your words through your heartbeat.  

 “I was thinking about you on the drive home.” you said trying not to reveal just how much you were actually thinking about him. He didn’t know the pathetic way you were still in love with him. “I didn’t even realize I had shown up here until I was at your door. It was like I needed to see you tonight.” 

 A small creeped on his face at your reply. He took the words as permission to press his lips against yours once more. Like always, it made your mind foggy and breath short. “Then tell your thoughts to think of me again tomorrow? Maybe after work?” he said, pulling away to return his gaze.

 You should say no and remind him that tonight was a fluke. A misstep on your attempts to move on from each other. But your body is unwilling to listen to your logic and instead chooses to nod your head. Making Steve’s small smile turn into a grin that has you trying to remember when was the last time you saw it.

 “Goodnight, Trouble.” He said softly, holding the door open for you.  

 “Goodnight.” You mumbled still a bit love-struck. 

 He waited at the door until you were in your car and waving off. The enticing view of Steve’s house eventually faded and you managed to get your brain working again in order to get home. The tv is playing some romance film for your Aunt and you bashfully wish her a goodnight as you floated to your bedroom. Still on the Steve induced high. It wasn’t until you flopped over your bed, brushing your fingertips over your kissed lips that Dustin decided to come in. A similar goofy grin on his face as he held out a Hershey’s kiss to you. 

 “Happy Valentine’s Day.” 

 “You’re in a good mood.” You snorted, taking the candy. “What were you up to tonight?”

 “Just got off the radio with Suzie.” He said with a dreamlike sigh. “She read out sonnets to me.” 

 “That’s sweet. You rode all the way up to that hill to talk to her?”

 “Hill?” He snorted before he remembered. “Oh! That hill. No, Steve spent most of the night helping me set up this new ham radio in my room.” 

 You shot up from your bed, looking at your cousin with a confused frown. “Wait, Steve was here?” You asked. “In our house?”

 “Yeah,” he confirmed. “He came around the time you left for work. Hung out with me all night until like an hour and a half ago. Didn’t even get to thank him before he dashed out of here.”

 Your mind was suddenly wrecked with a thousand thoughts. Why would Steve lie about going out? Why would he invite you in after hearing about Eddie? He didn’t have to lie about going out on a date, not with you. It’s not like you’d have judged him for taking things slow. Lord know you didn’t have the right to. Was he waiting to see if you’d come home from work all this time? Did he know you’d go to his house? So many questions without any chance of an answer came to you.

 “That was really nice of him...” you said softly, looking down at the candy.

 “Yup. That’s Steve for ya.” he replied matter of fact. “Makes you maybe wanna consider things, right?”

 Dustin’s attempt to mend the two of you hasn’t gone unnoticed these past couple of weeks. He wasn’t too aware of all the details. You and Steve never dived into it with him. Not wanting to ruin the relationship with the boy for either one of you. He was uncharacteristically neutral for the most part, but you knew that he was secretly hoping for some sort of reconciliation. 

 “Goodnight, Dustin.” you said instead, cutting the conversation short. He let out a big sigh before nodding his head, waving over at you before he closed up the door behind him. You kicked off your shoes, laying back onto your bed with only one thought running through your mind. 

 What were you going to wear tomorrow night?

A/N: HI GUYS I MISSED YOU. So sorry for the long awaited update. I struggled so hard to make this break up real but also angsty and drama filled? I don’t feel too confident in it, but there’s so much left in the season to work with so I hope you guys enjoy this. 

[fisheito]

wanted to get my thots about mirage of scales in one place so let's go thru this thang again and see if i can ,like, feel things

(gonna list my highlights of each story section so yes, it's gonna be. long.

FIRST OF ALL, WHAT A POWERPLAY TO SHOW US THE SCALE RELIC AS EACH PART OF THE EVENT PROGRESSES ooooh i was getting so excited when the relic was clearing up but they HURT ME IN THE SECOND HALF

WHY IS IT TURNING BLUE. NO. NO DO NOT DO THIS . DO NOT !I SWEAR TO DDOG MAKE IT GO BACK *bacskspacebackspacebackspace*

then Scales-13 is sitting there all glittery and sooo pretty upon a plush purple cushion like wooow isn't that nice?? look! we made the scale so shiny and vibrant and it's got lively streams of beautiful wisps-- NO SHUT UP DON'T HSOW ME THAT 😭i'M GONNA THROW THAT THING BACK INTO THE SEA (now i'm wondering why they made the final cushion purple. i mean, yes, purple simply does not miss, and it is the most regal of hues, but also. puplelkl? kuya? he's propping up umi in his last act? hm. hmm.)()

Let's get tooo ittt

SCALES - 1

Eiden, yaku, and oli looking for recipes together = me kicking my legs and giggling, looking adoringly, eyes sparkling, soaking in the warm softness and comfort of it all, rolling around in my eternal fascination for finding new things to eat

kuya: lol u thought *(kicks down the fluff with his chunky heels* yakumo: {={pP=P=PPEOPLE EAT YOKAI MEEEAT????!??!?!! kuya: :) oli: dont be scare lil buddy it's just an outdated rumour 💦 kuya: bet u they used to eat them with forks made out of their victims' spines yakumo: {{{{SHAKING}}}}}}

I SWEAR THE MOMENT I SAW THEM INVITE OLIVINE

I KNEW LOGICALLY THAT THEY WEREN"T GONNA HAVE OLI IN THE EVENT BUT IDK MY DISBELIEF WAS SO SUSPENDED AND MY DREAMS WERE SO LOFTY THAT MY HOPE SOMEHOW SKYROCKETED AND I GOT SO EXCITED FOR OLI TO SAY YES

CURSE YOU UNSPECIFIED TEMPLE THINGS!!!! TKAING MY JOY AWAY!!!!

nvm my joy returns thanks to the hilarity of oli's referral i like to think that these two developed a mutual understanding during elysium so oli , with a respecvt for kuya, offers him up as a worthwhile companion..? alternative.lyy, oli trolling like, i don't want kuya stirring up trouble without eiden around (because the universe knows how much of a sulk he'll go thru without his fave plaything around) and the old man is just fidgeting in the corner looking so bored and jUST waITING for someone to invite him on a little trip so why don't i take initiative here ✨✨ invite him for you ✨✨✨

maybe one day i'll get a yakuyoli event11..... one... one day.......... *deflates(*

SCALES - 2

surprised that peepaw endured an entire boat journey without setting the thing on fire. my headcanon that he gets seasick or whatever is shot down. alas. he CAN stand on a boat and not vomit all over the poopdeck. my jokes are in shambles. fine. maybe he got better after all his boat trips with huey. you win this time, foxyboy......

once again, my stupid little optimism was sOOOOOO glad to have the village chief interrupt the villagers hostility to be like "heeeyyy it's ok.... we're not used to strangers but we should let these guys help with the ceremony" i went, oh!!! maybe the elder is indeed wiser than the masses!! and he'll help talk sense into these xenophobic ppl!! ahahaha. oh, me. naive as the snake....... anywa.y.

eiden, i love you for being such an excellent mediator. you speak for the shy but easily shutdown-able yaku and the "first resort: burn it down" lavender diva. thank you for existing, and being here, and knowing words. lov e u. mwah.

SCALES - 3 i ahte these villagers but i love their fabricular gifts unto us (the event outfits) amen. thanks. brb getting yakumo that light rainproof jacket that he will surely need because he's cold all the time probably .

i am now of the belief that not ALL the vilalgers were pure megadouches. some of them had the foresight to offer *just the right* fits for the three of them. Or maybe they just grabbed 3 vaguely-similar-sized outfits and threw them at eiden, who then got to choose which one kuya/yakumo wore ..... what if it ended up switched and kuya got the fish bikini abnd yakumo got the fluttery deity gear? ...gonna think about that for a while.

SCALES - 4 once again, i was delusional when i thought that kuya was the one to jump into the water to save the kid. inhuman speed? yeah sure kuya can do that! saving a child? uhh,, maybe kuya would do that... if there were no witnesses? saving a human child? uhhhhhhhhhhh ok maybe not kuya why did i even think it would be kuya. he's got his fancy threads on (that eiden might have handpicked) . no way is he getting those wet

it's cvuzz i didn't expect THEIIS THIS!!!!!!

BRO WHAT YALL NEVE R MAKE NPCs LIKE THIS by which i mean this guy is protagonist coded and yall have only been making neutral-to-evil NPCs with a few exceptions lik.e. water consul. l(whispers: love u) so now you're presenting me with NPC, who has a FACE, and FEATURES, and just SAVED A RANDOM CHILD, AND HE'S BEAUTIFUL? ofdmgidrefgsjidokrdglsjrdhgsoliioldjeiuirhedkjsda let me stare at him please can i add you to my collection i promise i'll give u only the qualityest of feed. what do u want. bloodworms? live snails? fresh crab? I'll fight those crabs for you. i'll pick their finicky flesh from their carapace. whatever you want i'll get it for you

i'll never tire of this, btw. eiden, who is just a guy, trying his best to be approachable and nonintimidating with gorgeous dudes decorating him like a wreath. it's fine. everything's normal. no need to be alarmed, hydrodynamic stranger

and for the second time this event, yakumo's yokai sense tingles and kuya offers a (patronising?) "GOOD FOR YOOOOUUUUU guess you're not completely human-washed after all"

SCALES - 5 girl, what?

for a solid minute i thopught we got ourselves into another cult situation like, lining yakumo and eiden up for human sacfirice or smth. toss em into an active volcano style i just thought PLEASE SIR NOT THIS AGAIN WE CANNOT LET YAKUMO BECOME A CULT MAGNET HE'S GOT ENOUGH TRAUMA FROM THAT

....then they end up just putting their hands on the fish scale to make a wish and i feel a bit of relief that this isn't going into maiden sacrifice territory

THE SCREAM I SMERCEAMT

IT"S HAPEPPPNIGNINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG THE SCALES ARE OUTTTTTTT NO WAY YOU GONNA PUT KUYA AND YAKUMO IN AN EVENT TOGETHER AND NOT TOUCH ON THEIR ANIMAL SIDES I WOULD RIOT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY BETTER ALSO TOUCH ON THIS IN THE INTIMACY ROOMS YOU CAN'T JUST CREATE A SPRITE FOR THAT AND NOT USE IT OUTSIDE THE STORY I'M ONTO YALL YOU'RE GONNA COME THROUGH I JUST KNOW IT YESSAAAHSHSHSHHHH o wait yakumo's in pain and the villageres are about to berserk ok focus stop projecting into the whateer we gotta FOCUS ahahahaha look at em scramble around all scared of scaly yakumo

no. go back to being panic. no brazen. do not eene cen THINK o fit

[[they surround yakuei]] NOT THIS AHGTIJT AGAIN oh thank heavens ok at least the village chief is semi reasonable . not immediate bloodshed. we're fine. probably.

SCALES - 6 eiden: yakumo!! how are you feeling!! that relic really messed you up, huh? yakumo: getting away from it helped. my skin's back to normal me: 😒tsk.

and of course kuya is not going to be a convenient plot device and HELP YOU out of a situation. no. he's gonna lounge in a tree somewhere and watch umi be a Very Good Lad and sneak you out of house arrest. dreamy sigh. thank you magic jailbreaker umi!!!!!!

and all it took was umi acknowledging yakumo's existence for me to hop back on the yakubicycle ring the bell dingding!!! all aboard!!!! UMI GET ON !!WE GOT A BOY TO GRIND INTO DUST *slaps a helmet on him* *makes my YakUmi dolls touch tails*

and of course

kuya switching between "ok little one i'm about to give you the schooling of a lifetime because CLEARLY you don't understand how this savage world works" and "oohhhh how could i, a humble little fox of generic stature and lineage, possibly measure up to the greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgrandchild of the Biggest Snake Ever? oh nooooo. i'm but a widdle boy. don't look to me for answers :3" sassy little......

SCALES - 7 yakumo: what,, what if we all just hugged and held hands with the humans??? umi: 😔 kuya: lol nah get a load of this *turns on the projector so that horrifying visions of the past play on the walls* eiden, yakumo, umi: 😨😨😨 MY FISH FRIENDS! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -> had to lie down for several moments after this section. dude.... the massacre... the one-sidedness... th savagery o f those indigenous to the island... euuuuuuuggrrrhhhhhhhhhhrhrhhrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *holds a tiny umi in my palm* WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO... WHEN YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCE IS AT ODDS WITH HISTORY... WHEN YOU LIVED FOR SO LONG PROTECTING THE DESCENDANTS OF PEOPLE WHO DID THIS TO UR ANCESTORS... WHO MAY NOT HAVE COMMITTED THE CRIMES THEMSELVES BUT THEY DON'T ... do they try to atone for it? did they learn from it? does it matter?? jdoSJDAUDAWKDJAWWLAWWOPAEWAEPORL:FKS

oh frick story is happening wait recalibrating

villagers: THEY'VE COME FOR OUR BLOOD yakumo: (visibly shaking) i don't hate humans!! i... i've never wanted to hurt humans! please, we may be different, but-- kuya: (smiling while the storm rages around him)

me: steadily inching toward kuya in terms of "i agree with this one i'm kinda excited to see yall suffer"

>!>!>!>>!??!?!?!?!??! YAKUMO??? WHAT R YOU DOING??? DID YOU JUST MAKE A GIANT SHIELD?!?!?!?!?!?!? BABY BOY WHAT IS WITH YOU AND THE SHIELD.S. YOU ARE SUCH A SHIELDER. DIDN'T YOU DO THIS RECENTLY IN THE STORY WITH BERSERKER OLI? OHHHhh, i'm so proud of you you couldn't have done this 2 years ago!! you've come so far in terms of essence control and you're always using it to protect people you're doing so good and i-- CLIFF HANGER??!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!

a moment to breathe, if you (i) please. a moment to consider: what does yakumo's shield technique look like? hm/ / . more on that later.

SCALES - 8

WAHT IOSWRONG WITH YOU!!! DUMBASSES!!!!!! no, not dumahzsss. estupido. gonk. IDIOTA

YEAH!FILL THEIR LUNGS WITH SOUR GUMMIES, EIDEN

WHAT IS WRORNG WITH YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

THESE ppl are so incredibly stupid that i cannot even fathom............ this boy is saving yalls asses with a giant shield (tbh, if he can make such a giant shield he could have chosen to make a smaller bubble shield or smth that only saved eiden/kuya/umi . but he consciously chose to protect ALL of u)

YAKUMO MAY HAVE MERCY ON YOU BUT I WON'T *clambers over the giant wave with my supersoaker full of piss and who-knows-what-else-concoction*

SCALES - 9 imaginging umi sneaking into the lighthouse at night to feed the fish scale his lil blood drips like a pet a pet thats keeping all these ungrateful humans alive

umi: um. why is it doing that. *points to village chief kneeling befor ehim* kuya: what did i mcfkin tell you. humans suck eiden: hella yakumo: my worl d is crashing down was mmy life a lie can humans and yokai really coexist with each other ? yes of course they have to be able to there's no way that humans are evil and to doom them would be too cruel-, adn yet how will the complicated history between umi's ancestors and- umi: i'm not sure how i can help kuya: i mean it's totally your choice. what does it matter to me ? you can do wahetevr you want and ultimately, it's not like any of our opinions matter because nature will reclaim us as it so forcefully reclaims all. why fuss over such trivial decisions when we are but pawns of fate. but yeah. killing them sounds pretty peachy right now ngl

SCALES - 10

you are too nice umi the paths that require the least amount of effort from you will let the villagers wipe themselves out

the fact that kuya is willing to drop the origins of the relic and how to potentially make a new one?? i guess he's not being such a hermit crab about info... so he's being generous in his own way by sharing knowledge... and umi can make an informed decision.

i gotta say that i was mini-spoiled on this part of the story, compeltely by accident on someone else's part... there were multiple tumblr ppl posting about their reactions to the story and going "IF UMI DIES I'M GONNA BE SO ANGRY" and i, living in a lala ideal world of my own, had never even CONSIDERED that a possibility but once i read other's fears about that potential future i was like NOOOOOOOOO AND NOW THEY'RE GIVING UMI AN OPTION *LIKE THIS* OH NO OH NO OH NO THEY'RE REALLY GONNA DO IT THEY'R EACTUALLY GONNA KILL A NICE NPC WHY WOULD YOU BLESS ME WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL FISH AND TAKE HIM AWAY FOR SOMETHING AS STUPID AS A PROMISE OR WHATEVER

SCALES - 11 cheering, whooping, hollering as kuya sets the village chief on fire

umi: i;'ll protect these humans with my own blood because i loved one centuries ago yakumo: humans have been kind to me so i'll protect them from a tsunami even when they're threatening my life kuya: idiots. babies. sentimental little fetus yokai. let me bring some consequences back to ur actions mr greedy wretch of a human *starts turning SUPERPURPLE*

hOL Y SHIgha kuya let him go? i was prepared to see some new bbq on umi's floor.. surprising........................... not as vengeful as i thought, kuya.... or rather i guess your senpai senses are tingling and you're ultimately leaving this business up to umi cuz, really, this IS umi's business and not kuya's 😞

SCALES - 12

sigh... yeah... you're right, eiden.... i need you to inject some Good Sense back into my violent tendencies... biggersigh... i would have loved to doom those villagers to sopping wet destruction but... right, right umi's lived for a long time... and eiden's crew have only known him for this TINY window on that timeline... we dont know him.. we dont know his life ☹ we AREN'T in a position to interfere with his decision...

*slams fist on the desk again* GOAWDH, UMI, WHAT WAS SO HECKIN SMPECIAL ABOUT THAT DUDE YOU KNEW THAT YOU'D GO THIS FAR FOR HIM??? UGH THIS POOR LONELY GAY FISH I'M so anGYYYYYYYY 😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 *watching umi fade into the white screen* this is stupid my chest hurts 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

SCALES - 13

SCREAMS BEAUTIFUL FSIIH *POINTS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLUE GREEN SCALES!!!!!!!!!!! UMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU'R EFISH AGAIN??? REINCARNATED? RESET? CYCLE ANEW? kuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i hope you used your bonkers godmode gamebreaker powers to somehow scrape the barrel of umi DNA and remake him or like; f;just;;; idk reset the clock on him even tho you don't approve of his decision

GAAAAHHHHHHHH this event!!! suffering!!!!!! suffering ana dammdbiguity!!!!!!! no giggles!!!! only existential crises and racism and reminding us of the different lifespans of humans vs yokai and now i bet all the frreaifsjsekles long-lived boys on my screen right now (yakumo and kuya) are gonna have to make some decisisons about how to deal with their incoming grief about EiDen leaving this plane of existence well before theyre ready tio part a and nOOOO i'm not gonna think about that umi is ok and fish again and he's gonna outlive all the predators and be so super cool and resplendently scaled and shiny the whole time that he gains enough magic power to become a yokai again and then he'll live a happy life with people who don't suck and and and eiden's gonna live forever witht eh power of gay neon gemstone and the elemental spirits kissing him gently on thecheek and nobody will have to sob fat tears over their beloveds ever ok goodbye

[kewpikayo]

"Partners...?" Human Alastor x Reader

Chapter 2: WC: 5,109

I dedicate this second chapter to the sweet @ritualofcirice, the exquisite @lumikello24, the utterly superb @fraugwinska and the fantastic @macabr3-barbi3 . Thank you all so much for making this event such a pleasure to be a part of. Hope you enjoy part two!!

Here's Chapter 1: Team Player.

your at Chapter 2: Left Hanging.

here's Chapter 3: Burning Alive. Warnings & Tags: Violence, typical bloodshed associated with Hazbin hotel and Dead by Daylight. Alastor still being a little shit, etc. death of minor characters

Multiple hours passed until mid morning became late afternoon as the sun was continuously locked away in the realm of mist and shadow.

At least the darkness provided ample cover for further protection, but it was terrible to navigate the necessary equipment needed to fix the machines. Luckily, you had a miniature flashlight from your time pilfering through stray boxes. It was currently held under your chin to create a steady light source for your tedious task.

Despite your unfortunate hooking accident and the pain it still caused you, your progress with the generators had gone rather smoothly. You had somehow managed to get three out of the five generators up to working condition; plus or minus the few instances when hiding in a locker or behind brush became necessary. 

For the most part, your partner seemed to be carrying out his delegated task quite well. At least that’s what you assumed. You hadn’t heard from him in hours, but the looming threat of capture or death had somehow lessened in severity. It had been quiet…

Maybe striking a last minute deal with that strange, smiling guy was the best rash decision you had ever made .

As your bloody, oil soaked hands worked meticulously, your mind strayed to less demanding thoughts.

The asshole of a stranger, Alastor, was unbearable to say the least. His sharp wit was easily comparable to the nice, bloody blade he had acquired when he chose to ignore you. The insufferable bastard didn’t even bother to ask if you were okay or needed help, but just decided to leave you hanging. Literally.

Regardless of his initial purposeful ignorance of your person, perhaps you made the decision to reach out to him not only out of necessity, but also for the sole reason that he looked like the type to have his shit together. 

You remembered the dark man stood tall with obvious pride in the presentation he held for himself. It was as if he was opulently adorned in only the best of linens. He was a bit too pompous for your tastes, but you had to admit the man did have pretty privilege. Alastor was indeed a looker. 

Surprisingly, no blood was to be seen on him and his smile had never left his face even when he had seemed cross with you. It was a peculiar habit. There was just something about that grin of his and how it continually cast a supernatural glow to his warm skin. It was almost as if it was glued or stitched to his features permanently. It was creepy; and you hated how effortlessly charming it was.

His eyes spoke of a different tale, however. They were dauntless and expressive; amber jewels that were attuned to his face in unwavering self assurance hidden behind gentle, dark curls. It was obvious he was of the calculating, intellectual sort. Maybe that was why you felt comfortable enough to beg him to help you. You were assured he had a plan brewing under that steadfast grin, and you wanted in on whatever strategic formulation his mind deemed worthy to conduct.

He was a survivor, a victor, and you had always liked being a part of the winning team. Acquiring a partnership with another like minded, capable individual was only the most logical step forward. Anyone within their right mind would’ve done so.

Wiping your brow of the sweat that accumulated under the ball cap you donned, you went back into an intense focus. There was no time to daydream. How much time had you lost already? You didn’t know, but you did know too many valuable minutes had already passed you by. It was one moment too many to risk doing so a second time.

Rewiring your focus, the specific cable in your grasp was of the stubborn sort; unwilling to bend to the plan you had for it with a burning passion. 

You readjusted the flashlight underneath your chin and moved closer to have a better look, wincing when the twinge in your shoulder wouldn’t go away. You cursed to yourself, frustration dripping into your vocabulary.

“Havin’ a wrench would’ve made this a helluva lot easier…Dammit…Just connect, you stupid wires…It literally isn’t that hard…It’s not rocket science!”

As if a resistant response to your furious words, sparks flew into your face with a loud, rambunctious pop. You jolted backwards with a colorful curse, a sting in your fingertips. The light and sound startled you; and with a wince your expression contorted into a deeper scowl due to the pain.

“Shit!”

Waving your hand, a harsh hiss escaped from under your breath as your fingers were brought to your lips. You bit back the pain, shutting your eyes and blinking back tears as the taste of blood and oil flooded over your tongue. The blackest smoke quickly bellowed into your vision as the bold smell of gasoline was the only scent available to you. It was to the point that any oxygen had been snuffed out and made breathing an even greater hardship. 

You stifled multiple coughs. The force of each constricted your chest painfully; each spasm threatening the contents of your stomach to make an unsightly appearance. Too enraptured in retaining air, you failed to hear the soft snap of a twig behind you.

However, upon calming down from the attack on your lungs, the feeling of wind and metal brushing against your ear rivaled the active popping of the nearby generator.

You were left stunned as you stared at the butcher knife lodged in the wooden pallet next to your head. Raising a tentative hand, you brushed your fingers against the edge of your ear and hissed when you felt the sting and the promise of blood. 

Another knife launched itself into the wood again, landing closer to your head this time.

If the first knife didn’t get your attention, then that one certainly did.

You whipped your head to look behind you, beholding an ominous figure in a vibrant trench coat. The fog swirling around the marsh mixed in with his clothing to the point it was hard to make out who it was, but the shadow looming over you was so profound that the fear the sight instilled held you firmly in place.

That was until the threat took another dagger from his sheath and stepped forward with ill intent.

“Oh fuc-!...”

A third dagger was thrown in your direction with the intent to hit its mark as one of the Entity’s champions boldly pursued you. Jolting backwards, the dagger thrown managed to nick your cheek in the process of piercing into the nearest pallet.

As your most recent threat, referred to as the trickster by the other survivors,  rearmed himself and prepared another blade with a bold laugh at your misfortune;  you took the chance to flee. Scrambling to your feet, adrenaline powered your movements as your converses dredged deep grooves into the mud. You slipped, but not before pushing a pallet over to maintain some distance between you and your attacker. 

Hissing in pain, you grabbed at your shoulder as you haphazardly continued to run, your breath leaving you in frantic spurts. Your legs had a will of their own, knocking you into every spare piece of wood or type of debris imaginable. It took great effort just to keep yourself on your feet.

Almost to your destination, hope was ripped from you as your foot got lodged in an unnoticeable hole, twisting uncomfortably to the point a guttural growl turned gasp escaped you as you hit the ground. Hard. 

The rest of your air deflated from your lungs and into your  surroundings as your ball cap was knocked from your head in your descent; flying and disappearing amongst the weeds. You cursed. There was no time to search for it. It was lost to you now.

Amidst your thoughts, somehow your rib cage  managed to land on the largest, sharpest rock known to man. You yelped in pain, assured yet another of countless bruises would appear on your skin within the hour.

Dazed and light headed from pain, but the last of your adrenaline pushing you to your limits; You grabbed at the soil and lunged  yourself forward with strenuous effort. You were so close to your designated hiding spot, and now that option was taken from you as well.

You wouldn’t give up, though. Not that easily.

Determined, you crawled to the next best thing: A spare pallet with just enough room underneath to provide some sort of cover. The entrance of the hole was covered with weeds and the occasional cattail. Perfect. Cover was just what you needed. 

Panting , you willed yourself to continue on, elbows digging into the ground to gain leverage in the moist soil as you hurriedly crawled in desperation. You were almost there. You were sure you would make it..

You had to. 

Unfortunately, your pursuit of safety was denied when the trickster caught up with you. You managed to crawl a few more inches to safety when you felt hands grab at your sides. You looked behind you and in a panicked fury started kicking your legs and wiggling to struggle free; but to no avail. Fate has other plans for you, much to your terror and disgruntlement.

The trickster hoisted you up and had you hanging from his shoulders like a light, limp sack of fruit. It irritated you how frail you were.  Still, delicate and bruisable as you were, you would not go down without a fight.

So fight you did, kicking and hitting any reachable orifice or weak point you could. You managed to hit your target every so often with sufficient force, but it was as if the man was made of impenetrable stone. Nothing you did weakened your kidnapper and it proved useless to struggle. Your attempts just made you more tired in the end and you needed to conserve your strength. 

Still, your fierce spirit wouldn’t be silenced and you wouldn’t give up your fight for survival just yet. Thinking it your best, and only, option; your voice illuminated the space around you. Your words ignited your attacker’s hearing in colorful, torrential succession as you also continued in your physical attack.

“Let me go, you fucker!! Put. Me. DOWN!!!”

This only supplied the trickster something to laugh at, your voice reverberating through his useless ears as your words came back void. To no surprise, your request was denied with yet another muted, sadistic chuckle. Great. Why did you think that would work? 

You continued in your struggle and berating words until you were nearing your destination; a particularly rusty hook that already had fresh blood from a recent victim acquired on the metal. You blanched at the sight. You didn’t have the possibility of acquiring Tetanus or blood poisoning on your agenda that evening, or ever, but you guess fate certainly didn’t give a damn. 

This particular hook was beneath The Pale Rose; and unfortunately was a good bit away from your nearly completed generator. You hoped that somehow one of the other survivors would take a hint and aid you in finishing your work, or at least come to your aid. It was unlikely though. The majority of people, if in your predicament, would’ve certainly attuned themselves to the idea of “Every man for themselves.” You certainly did. You tried rescuing someone before and it only resulted in your first capture. You wouldn’t make that same mistake again. Not without getting something in return.

There was only one other person you hoped would come for you, and even then it was still a long shot of if he would actually help you or not. From your short time of knowing him, Alastor has proved himself to be a wildcard and a man of conviction, but only if it suited his own needs or desires.

Left with no other options, you shamelessly screamed your partner’s  name with all the graceless volume in your lungs. 

“ALASTOR!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?! I NEED YOU!!”

Your desperate plea was met with nothing but your own continued screams as your injured shoulder was violently shoved into the rusty hook you spotted earlier.

The screams that left you didn’t sound like your own voice. They were raw and saturated with agony, foreign in pitch and deeply feral in cadence. Desperate, a shrill shriek left you as the tendons and veins in the muscles of your shoulder were ripped anew. Black dots adorned themselves to your vision, your head light from blood loss. You swore you even saw stars in your disoriented state. 

Before the worry of passing out or worse could visit your thoughts, the entity's claws were upon you. The sharp blades of horror forced you into a life or death struggle as your captor stepped away to watch your promised demise with glee. 

Gritting your teeth, you glared at the trickster, stubbornly clinging to life. With the last of your strength, you held the claws aiming to puncture holes into your chest and abdomen at bay as exhaustion loomed over you.

With a fury so profound you swore you saw your attackers eyes widen in surprise, you snarled out the most putrid threat you could think of in your pain. Your grip tightened on the entity’s claws as you pushed against the trap.

“I hope you fuckin’ die and burn in the hottest part of Hell, you stupid ass piece of shit! You’re lucky I’m hangin’ here otherwise I’d kill you myself! I-I’d gut you like a fish and rip out your eyeballs and… And feed you to the gators!!! Mark my words, I’ll make you wish you were dead!!! ”  

“Ha! What poetry~! But it would be quite hard to make one wish for death when they have already experienced it. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Not expecting the figure in front of you to slump over dead, your eyes widened when you saw your partner appear out of nowhere to pull a knife from the trickster’s back. Alastor’s blood soaked hands tightly gripped around his weapon of choice as he gently disposed of his latest victim’s blood on his dark denim jeans. 

“Now, this fellow’s descent into the nine circles can most assuredly be arranged. It is plausible that it is already well under way…”

When did Alastor show up? Amidst the chaos and trying to keep conscious, somehow he had appeared before you instantaneously. Perhaps he was just very close by when you called out to him? 

Glancing toward you, Alastor chuckled as his smile grew in smug satisfaction; curiosity glinting back at you from his calculated gaze. You continued fighting off the iron claws in silence, hoping seeing you in a struggle would alert him that his assistance was most definitely needed. You bit back a frustrated growl when he failed to notice your hidden cry for help. Perhaps he just actively ignored you again, preferring to continue talking instead.

“Though I’m sure it would’ve been such  a nice sight to witness your spin on taking out the trash… It pains me to know I won’t have the opportunity to see you do so…”

Despite his words, Alastor looked chipper with the outcome that had transpired. The man stood tall, his cream button up and blue jeans soaked  in viscera and gore, blood splatter decorating his spectacles and face. His conquest to gain the lives of the killers you requested most likely was going smoothly. Good. The more he killed, the greater assurance that you wouldn’t be.

What was surprising about his presentation, however, was that you could tell the blood wasn’t his. You thought that his close contact with various types of killers around the premises would have at least scored him a few wounds to keep as souvenirs; but he managed to surprise you yet again. He didn’t even look injured in the slightest. You could tell from the way his expression was lively and full of enjoyment that he was high off of the chaos, obviously receiving great pleasure from his conquest, and even more so about his most recent kill…

 Just how had he managed to do so well? You supposed that wasn’t important. What did matter was that your partner was taking the deal seriously. 

Choosing to ignore the unhinged vibes Alastor was giving off,  you scoffed and did your utmost to hide the tremendous pain you felt in your shoulder. Talking was getting very hard to do without pausing for much needed air. With each moment that passed, the Entity’s claws encroached closer to your person, making an exhausting task even more strenuous. 

You gasped as your hand slipped from one of the iron grips holding you firmly in place, the pain in your shoulder immense as the hook tugged on your overly sensitive flesh. You were fighting for your life and Alastor didn’t even seem to care. What kind of partner was he?

You supposed you couldn’t blame him. He had mentioned he always preferred solo work. Even so, anyone with even a slim amount of sanity would see you were very much in need. Your patience was about up, your struggle using the majority of your brain power. Words were hard to form at the moment. Brevity became necessary.

“Yeah, well he… Woulda looked like he does now…Dead…Stupid and…Fucked up…You did…A good job, I guess…”

“My, Is that praise I hear? Glad to know you approve of my efforts. I’m flattered.”

Alastor’s smile couldn’t have been more smug even if he tried. You rolled your eyes at the sight; stifling a low groan from both annoyance and affliction as the claws inched closer to your abdomen and collarbones. Sweat poured down your brow in your attempts at escape. You were too exhausted at this point to really call him out on his bullshit; and you really didn’t want to risk him leaving you on that hook again. Playing it safe, you decided to ignore his obvious attempts to get under your skin in hopes that he would lend you aid this time around.

“Yeah…Yeah, you don’t gotta mention it. Now…Are ya gonna help me out and… Let me down or…Or what? We’re wastin’ time…”

Still tall and poised, Alastor tilted his head as he looked at you, placing his blade back into its sheath, a question to counter your own on his breath.

“Just how many times do you intend to be captured this evening, dear? You certainly are a bloody mess, aren’t you?”

Scoffing, you stared at the first three buttons on Alastor’s shirt, blood splatter staining his fabric to ruin. He looked how you felt, every flinch and twitch of your muscles shooting agony through your body as your own blood created an ocean down your jean jacket. 

You groaned. It was too much energy wasted to look anywhere else.

“No Shit….Look who’s talkin’, but no, seriously… Are your arms not workin’ or somethin’?…Let me down…”

Wincing, you used the majority of your remaining strength to readjust your body weight on the hook. Another hiss of agony leaked through your gritted teeth. Your attempts were enough to bring brief tears to the corners of your eyes. You blinked them away. You wouldn’t let him see you cry.

“We’re…Supposed to be partner’s, right? Don’t just….leave me hangin’….”

“Ha! Good one…”

Another encore of enthused chuckles escaped him as he crossed his arms. It still didn’t look like he was in any hurry to come to your aid. Shocker.

“...Unfortunately, you are missing a simple, vital phrase…It’s rather rude to forget it, wouldn’t you agree?”

Once again you were left dumbfounded by the man’s words. What did he mean? You were left in tremendous confusion until it hit you. The bastard was wanting you to beg him for his help. Again.

Swallowing as much pride as you could spare, as well as the urge to let out another scream, you let your head hang as low as it would go without causing anymore needless damage to your shoulder. Your hands still firmly grasped around the claws of the greedy Entity.

“...Please…”

Without seeing him, you could tell he was smirking just by the way his voice sounded, conceited and self important. Vain.

“Please what?”

A low growl entered your voice in a mixture of exasperation and discomfort as you looked up at your so-called partner with a deep scowl. You bit into your cheek before uttering yet another shameful, pitiful plea. You absolutely hated how weak it made you feel.

“Please…If you’d be so…gracious as to lend me your….Assistance…I'd be so appreciative…”

You wanted to make sure that Alastor knew you were pissed.  The words you managed to mutter were drenched in so much sarcasm that it brought an obvious, irritated twitch to your partner’s eye. Good. He deserved it after refusing to help you for a second time. If he thought it was a burden to help you, you would show him just how much of an inconvenience you could be, should he continue to refuse to come to your aid.

Alastor remained silent. Another claw formed on the hook, causing you to have to split your efforts of keeping the iron talons at bay; one hand for each claw that formed. 

Frustration flooded into you to the point you let out a shout and another string of vibrant  curses.

“Arrghhhh!  Just. Get. Me. down! I’m bleedin’ out, if ya haven’t noticed!”

“Oh, I’ve noticed. I do think the color red suits you rather well…”

Yet another vexing pause was seen on his part as he shifted his weight from one hip to another, his arms still crossed and his gaze curious as he stood infront of you, tantalizingly close but resistant and mute to your continued pleas.

“Besides, what was your earlier phrase? Ah, yes…I do believe it was ‘“Fuck you. I’ll just do it myself.”’? Where has all that spirit gone? You seemed very capable before. Surely nothing has changed since?”

Dumbfounded, you didn’t know how to reply. You were in such shock that one of your hands slipped, allowing one of the Entity’s claws to pierce deeply into your opposite collarbone. You let out an ear piercing scream as you managed to dig the iron out of your skin; adrenaline sending shivers swimming through your bloodstream.

Struggling to form words, you paused to take breaths in between your verbiage.

“It’s...Complicated…Hard to…Explain!”

“Then try. Enlighten me.”

“Look…I…I already used my perk, Deliverance ... .I can’t use it again; so I would greatly appreciate it if you got your head out of your ass and…and helped me! The Entity’s rippin’ me apart!”

A look equally offended and appalled darted across Alastor’s features, distorting his toothy smile to the slightest degree.

“Your…Perk? Entity? Whatever do you mean? Speak plainly, dear. What you’ve just said is very much akin to gibberish…”

If you weren’t actively fighting for your life you would’ve stared at him in disbelief, mouth agape like some braindead fool. Did this idiot not know what a survivor’s perk was? Was he actually galavanting around this entire map without using any of his? And he still managed to not get a single scratch on him? What type of creature was he?

It was as if he wasn’t even human…

Irritated that your partner was seemingly perfect, except for the one flaw that he would not willingly help set you free; you grumbled out the expected information. Somehow amidst gasping for breath, you managed to explain what a perk was and a little about the entity until Alastor’s expression changed to one of mild understanding.

“...Now, help me already….Please!”

Gasping for air and on the verge of passing out, or passing away, you looked toward your so-called partner with the utmost desperation hidden in your eyes. Yet another pause was shared between the two of you and he still refused to move or help you. Your patience for this man was about over.

“Look, shithead, I said please three times, didn’t I?!”

“My, how rude…You do realize whose life is still on the line at the moment, yes?”

In a tone that could only be described as patronizing, his grin grew in conceited splendor. Did he really enjoy getting a rise out of you that much? Your scowl deepened at his sick joy. 

That sadistic fuck…

An even wider smirk adorned Alastor’s features as you blanched, your complexion pale due to both your realization as well as blood loss. His smile was more genuine when you whispered an apology. It was obvious he was pleased to know he had bruised your pride even more than it already was.

“Hmm…I suppose I will let you off the hook for your blunder, if only this once…The tendency to lose manners when one’s life is threatened is something common and albeit expected. Here, brace yourself…This will surely hurt.”

Reaching up to you to finally offer you aid after what seemed to be a millenia, a dark and teasing laugh seeped into Alastor’s breath.

“Feel free to scream if necessary…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a few minutes and a superfluity of stifled screams and curses from his little lady, you were freed. It didn’t take much for Alastor to procure you from your entrapment, but he did silently muse on just how light you were in his arms. If he so wished, throwing you with one hand would’ve been as simplistic as breathing. Of course, he had no time for such tempting indulgence. As you had rudely prompted him before, time was slipping away from you both. 

So, with minimal effort and all the grace the radio host had at his disposal, Alastor allowed your liberty to take place. He encapsulated your waist in his hands, deftly  pulling you from your perch. You were worse for wear and covered in filth, of course, but freed all the same. 

Fortunately, the subsequent screams from you were a sufficient reward for his efforts.

Alastor listened to you grumble under your labored breath as you dusted the first of many particles of dirt from your clothing. Your attempts did nothing to satiate the need for disposing of the blood and oil that collected themselves upon your bodice and skin. At least an attempt was made on your part to better your appearance.

Looking over his shoulder to survey the area for any additional threat, Alastor caught sight of the tell tale signs of your dingy cap underneath the shadows of the cattails nearby. Ah. That’s where he had placed it when he acquired it out of the weeds and spare piles of wood when your belligerent cry for assistance rang through his ears. Luckily he was close by, but even so. A little more patience would’ve been appreciated on your part.

Within minutes he left you behind to attain said cap, only to daintily dust it off and provide it to you. You propped your forearm on one knee for a moment before pulling yourself up from the mud to look at the outstretched hand he offered. It was a most generous gift he bestowed to you. 

“I do believe this is yours?”

A deeper scowl was returned to him for his efforts; but he only laughed. You certainly were of the feisty sort.

 You snatched the gift from his hands and donned it swiftly, tugging it over your eyes and adjusting its place on your head as your back arched forward in an atrocious attempt at remaining on your feet. Your posture was lacking, but Alastor supposed you did have a right to not be at your best. It was a marvel how you steadfastly willed yourself to remain standing, let alone conscious. Your stance was shaky, but surprisingly firm as your ever present scowl looked up to meet his curious gaze. 

“Alright…We don’t have much time…There’s only two gen’s left. So you go…Uh…Stab people or what have you…and I’ll…I’ll fix those machines. We’ll meet back up at the exit….Sound good…?”

Alastor quirked a brow at your words, but remained silent. Just what type of tenacity compelled you to continuously move forward when you were considerably near death's door? Surely you were ready to give in by now. 

However, even if your complaints were mostly of his “incompetence” your ferocity was never aimed at your own predicament; but just one glance at your pale complexion instantly notified him that you were tired. More than tired. You were a corpse walking.

It was very interesting how you hadn’t fallen over dead, and Alastor would go so much as to say you colored him impressed. Perhaps only the fiercest of  fighting spirits remained within you? You were of the obstinate sort, after all.

Still, there was something else about you that piqued his interest. Something he couldn’t quite name; and he wanted to figure out what it was. 

Perhaps your natural inclination for survival was just emboldened by the circumstances the two of you found yourselves in. It was an admirable attribute. You weren’t weak and your folly wouldn’t be by your own hand. No, you were stubborn, determined, and just did not know when to quit.

Perhaps that was a good thing…

Alastor’s smile grew. Yet another intriguing thing was learned from you. A few more close observations would surely supply him with even more delightful answers? If you still proved entertaining and useful as the night dragged on, he wouldn’t mind offering you the continued chance to thrive… 

So far, that prospect was promising. Loathe as he was to admit it, however, your eclectic nature, your stubbornness and that persistent disgruntlement of yours had piqued his full curiosity with ease; providing him with a surprising amount of amusement.

Perhaps you had already earned your chance to be spared…

Commanding his thoughts to cease for a moment, Alastor watched as you stepped away from him with a deep heaviness in your footwork. You certainly were a tenacious little thing, compelled by your convictions to a fault. Of course, he would expect nothing less from a partner worthy of his time. He conceded. Your work ethic was impeccable. You were doing well.

Alas, however a nuisance it was to obey someone else’s orders, Alastor assured you he would do as asked as you continued down your chosen path. He only received a small nod and a barely raised hand as you slowly retreated.

The radio host made his way down the opposite path, taking his knife from its home on his belt as he continued his previous stalking through the brush; eager to bleed yet another soul dry that evening…

[bluginkgo]

Welp, ep7 didn't kill me! ... the depression post ep might- (Theories/Rambles)

Anyways! Ep7 oh boy, it was full of surprises even for me. The animation, the intense battle scenes, everything about it was AMAZING! Of course, that's just my opinion :3 (feel free to yeet it into the stratosphere)

Get ready for word diarrhea and some shaky and loose thoughts on the ending and what may happen next. Fair warning, my theories are pretty wacky, so somethings may sound way out there. XD

Spoilers duh, oh and gore warning? Kinda?

I mean... that scary *ss mother facking thing towards the end- you know what I'm talking about if you watched the ep 😅

This puzzled me a bit, but the more I thought about it, I suppose the more it makes sense (give me a hot minute, I'm slow ok 😅).

The lockers act as a storage container for the solver drones. But what about the image from ep6? It seemed like they had free reign over the office and could come and go. Even as far as a sentinel cuddling up to Nori. But that's the thing. Later we see that Nori and Yeva were the only ones that have been the MOST successful with the absolute solver experimentation. The others, were either corrupted or were unaffected.

That means, in the time that the patches were given to the drones experimented on, was the time that they were allowed to be in the office. But as the patches and experimentation progressed, they were moved down for more security.

Soooo V. What are my thoughts on her and her whereabouts? The shot of the hall with the sentinels did not make it into the ep. Sure, it is probably fairly easy for them to get that shot. Especially if they kept the rig of the hall, throw around some sentinel bodies, and make the light go out. But this lack of V is what's making me still believe she's out there. Delusional, I know. But we don't get to see her eldrich form. This is the Absolute Solver that has been chilling in the labs, and simply recreates the hologram of all the drones it was ever a part of.

If V does not return by ep8, then I will lay her to rest properly. Until then, I'm marking her as MIA. She may be out there, she may not.

Alright, so the crucifix is also recounted as "failsafe USB (606b)" or at least that's how I see it, given the crucifix is just one fancy usb.

Now, the other time we did see the 606 was in the beginning of ep5.

wdOS_606 is basically the code that kills the drone and its core. So, effectively, that crucifix works as a kill code for the absolute solver. The timeline of events probably happened like this: Nori was showing signs of the Absolute Solver progressing much faster than any other drone the teams have worked with. One time, Nori went Absolute Solver crazy, the placement of the image that is also seen in ep6 suggests that this was the first or one of the first times Nori went rogue. The teams then decided to contain her better and suspended her by the chains, all the while waiting for the failsafe USB to be completed. At least, that was the plan. "Don't all die and almost let it out again lol. We're pretty mad but mostly scared about that." subtitle backs it up.

Now this.

This entire sequence seems rather interesting. Absolute Solver, at its best, understands emotions on logical level. Its more like a math equation for it. As in: Bad things happen = changed and more subdued personalities. But with N, I suppose it found it rather interesting to watch him. Despite all of the bad experiences he may have had, he remained his happy self. The solver even went as far as quoting him.

That type of innocence, despite the horrors he has seen and committed, most likely amused the solver. So it allowed the team to retain those personalities and traits- also knowing that it could easily get rid of them if it really wanted to.

Uzi's administration rights still hold up. It seems that in this moment, the solver attempted to completely corrupt N and have him as a mindless drone that followed orders. Buuuut Uzi's admin rights denied that, saving him from becoming the solver's puppet and being what he was back on Earth during the massacre of humans.

Eating is often referred to in this episode. Seems that I was somewhat right in regards to the Absolute Solver being the core of Copper-9 now. It has grown rather large, and taken possession of the entire planet. To maintain that, it needs sustenance. Be it in form of biological and mechanical life, or the planet itself.

So J destroyed the only means of getting off the planet, and the possibility of saving themselves or the planets for the gang- of course there's still the pod that J is using, but that will not be given up without a fight.

The issue here I have is... to whom did J give her loyalty to? Couple theories:

To Tessa- J has NO idea this is not Tessa, and is following her old boss just like in the days of the manor.

To Absolute Solver- J knows this is not Tessa, but still is loyal to it.

Issue: If number 1 is correct, then why follow through the plan with destroying the pod? It seems that was the case all along when Tessa told J to "mind her ship." Furthermore confusing to me is her comment.

Tessa: Her (Cyn) last known act was siccing you lot on other human exo-planets.

N: But why?

J: That's what we're trying to figure out, bozo.

J's line can be taken both ways. As 1- J is actually trying to figure out why Cyn is acting up. As for 2- this was simply a cover up for the whole plot.

It seems here that the drones that were previously worked on simply stayed in their lockers and their corrupted form. But that was something that made me wonder. The drones were all corrupted with the Absolute Solver to some degree. They were all given patches of the solver- some had effect and others didn't. But that still means that there were a lot of drones that had their cores corrupted and look like Heart. Here's the question.

Why didn't they simply leave? Nori's corrupted core is fully sentient, despite being possessed by the solver the most. Of course, there is the possibility that whatever Nori created in the cathedral simply took those cores and dragged them into the center. Further growing itself. Ah, well I kind of answered my own question there.

So the largest number I could count was 129 on this list. Meaning, there were at least 129 drones experimented on. Seems to follow the crazy theory I had of the Absolute Solver taking control of the core. 129 minus 2 (Nori and Yeva) cores will definitely make a great impact/engrave itself into the planet in such a way and thus manifest the corridors of flesh and hands that go all to the way to Cabin Fevers camp ground.

It also seems that the Absolute Solver, instead of being injected straight into the drones, was done in patches. Now, my knowledge in computer language and science is non-existent, but it does make me wonder. Yeva has 2.1.8 patch, while Nori was still "in progress." This either implies:

Nori had a newer patch and this was the one that caused her to go so berserk they had to restrain her in the cathedral.

Nori did not have a new patch, the one that Yeva has was the latest one and Nori simply was not faring well in the transition.

Something I noticed/finally grasped on my 3rd watch through:

Who the hell is "they?" Well, my tired brain finally decided to kick in and work. "They" were the scientists. So the crucifix was something that the humans only now figured out how to make. The kill code that would put the Absolute Solver down. That was why the Solver was on Copper-9. It needed that crucifix, so it could get rid of it. "They kept cutting my feed." Most likely referred to when the hosts would become possessed by the solver. Just as seen with Nori, the second they went crazy, it was a quick shut down, thus cutting the feed for the Absolute Solver as it tried to figure out what they were doing.

So, just as many have theorized, Nori did cause the core collapse, but not in the way that I expected it. It's rather funny that instead of this being like a full Absolute Solver possession that caused this on purpose, was simply one bad event after another. And I love the show for this. Despite having the route that the Absolute Solver could have just imploded the planet on purpose and on its own (by possessing a host), it was instead a sequence of events that is similar to humans and their downfall. Nothing orchestrated, but just a compiling effect that created one huge problematic black hole.

So this page does give some insight. The Absolute Solver sent DDs to wipe out the other solver hosts. (I'll touch on this in a different post) And the DDs were either referred to as "pets" by the Absolute Solver (which is more likely, as it called Uzi a "puppet") or a term that Nori coined. "Puppet hosts with nerfed ___ the entity-ensures control" The nerfed ___ is most likely their cores/thought process. As in, Administration CYN is what nerfed their abilities to remember anything regarding their past, and used that to control the DDs.

This was something I couldn't kind of settle with. Events wise, it can be assumed this is all happening at the same time. Just as Uzi is getting through the mine shafts and picking up the lantern, Tessa is blowing up the computer and nomming on Doll, and N is being dragged through corpse walls and being saved by Heart.

It was Doll- Although, the more I looked at this thought, the less likely this became. Doll's was intact when she came to warn Uzi, and stayed there until Tessa entity ate it towards the end of the episode. We have yet to see an instance where a core entered the Absolute Solver form and returned back to the core form without taking any damage. Specifically in J's case, the solver form was blown up and only then returned to the core form. Nothing was in the mine shafts that could have possibly injured it enough to go back to the core form and sneak back into Doll's body.

Tessa...uhh whatever the fack she is- Based off of Doll's getting attacked scene, the entity seems to have a rather quick ability in switching forms. So I wouldn't put past it that the entity attacked Doll, saw that another part of the Absolute Solver was trying to chase N down, and just went along with the rest of the solver to hunt him down.

On my first watch through, I was worried that N would go crazy from breaking rule 1 of robotics: Not to injure humans. Granted, in the first watch through, everything went so fast that I barely had any time to grasp anything. After the second watch through, it becomes quite clear and apparent. The Absolute Solver took the rules of robotics out of the DDs. I mean, how else were they supposed to attack and kill the humans back on Earth. Furthermore, Tessa was not a human. So even if N did still have the rules of robotics programmed into him, they might not have set off. Why the "might not?" Because of the sentinel. Perhaps because the sentinels were created by humans, their ai is much simpler, but when that dingo bit Tessa, it had an aneurysm. It detected blood, and thus, the ai deduced that the sentinel just injured a human and decided to alt f4 itself. Would the same happen with N? I'm not quite sure. Given that the solver programmed the DDs, it could be either instance: Take the rules out completely or enhance the rules so that blood isn't what triggers the rule breaking.

This is something that made me wonder. Did the DD trio go to any other exo-planets previously? I took this scene in two ways:

This has happened before. The solver knows that N will continue to forgive the Absolute Solver because something similar has happened before. As in, the solver is out to kill a planet, it does that, but in return sacrifices any DDs that might have been there to get rid of the potential solver hosts. The backups are booted and sent to a new planet.

This is the first time this happened, but the solver has previous experiences. Just as the solver had made N forget about his time in the mansion and the bloodbath of killing humans, it can do the same thing. Kill N, and make his backup version forget this ever happened.

This one single frame made me wonder a bit too hard. The little nulls I assumed to be miniature and contained blackholes. But then when N dove under one... there was collision? A black hole, as far as I understand (which isn't very much ;w;), is something that cannot be touched. It warps time and space, so how are you supposed to be able to touch it? But I'm quite sure my tired brain is just thinking too much about simple details.

For some odd reason, I always thought that the solver wings were more flesh, and thus couldn't take too much damage. Proven wrong again! Uzi withstood N's firing and her wings came out undamaged.

Main question for me: Why would the Absolute Solver eat the core? Specifically in drone form/possessing a host. If it was the hole that's in the cathedral, I can understand that somewhat better. But what does a solver drone gain from eating another corrupted core?

Perhaps acts as a power boost? Whatever the corrupted core can do, the powers are transfered uhh... somehow?

Simply sustenance, and a way to get rid of Heart, you're thinking too deep into this Ginkgo (more likely option) Plus, backed up by Tessa entity eating Doll's core and being unaffected. Perhaps it just remains in the body as a source of energy.

IC-0n IS THAT YOU?! XD But in all seriousness, this scene was intense. The animation, the music and sound effects, the lines, everything was executed perfectly and created the monstrosity that may or may not haunt my nightmare tonight :3

My first thought was, "OH YOU! YOU FINALLY SHOWED UP! ...... GO AWAY!" This entity... uh I'm not quite sure what to call it yet, has been teased all the way back to the poster. And I would like to bring back something I said a bit while back. "What if the double x'ed character is someone we already know... but is dead? A character that is confirmed/somewhat confirmed to be dead can return back to life, and their body forced to move by the absolute solver." (I will be delving deeper into debunking this in another post.) Welp, that does it. I had the idea, just didn't know who the fack it was. XD So we get a drone, wearing Tessa's skin.

In hindsight, there was a big fat foreshadowing that I took for granted. This thing.

The drone body is a WD, and clear as day 1001 written on the core. What does it mean? Ah well, I'm actually not too sure. Going with the 002, 048, 029, etc. numbers, I can only assume 1001 is something the Absolute Solver made and gave it that number, possibly suggesting that there is more of these monstrosities out there.

So. Another "sacrifice." Why the quotation marks? Well... the first "sacrifice" was V and I'm still calling her MIA. Ginkgo, its clearly shown Uzi is most likely not gonna make it out of this one- shhhhhhhh, there is no war in Ba Sing Se. I will call Uzi MIA as well.

She's dead. The core was charging up behind her, much like it did when Nori's null hand fell, and when IC-0n- I MEAN- Tessa? The entity, jumped in. Uzi might just be the thing that sets the next core collapse- even the planet collapse- off. What Uzi is seeing, is just something that the Absolute Solver might have conjured up as her last memories before the imminent shut down.

She isn't dead. You see, this entire shot has me puzzled (nothing new lol). Your evidence for this one Ginkgo? Two images.

These scenes might not be much, but I will try to grasp at air here. It's unclear where Heart goes to. I mean there are two routes, one of which sounds more likely. First, she's going into the core because it connects to the entirety of the mine shafts and the core. Second, she's gonna use a door off to the side to go to the mine shafts and the same place that N gets dragged through. Why am I using these as poor evidence? Well, we've had 2 characters enter dark spaces full fo solver flesh and still make it out. Ginkgo, Uzi is literally falling in that scene, there is nothing to stop her fall. Yeah I know, like I said, I'm grasping at air with this one. Buuuut, the mind scape theories sound more fun, promise! ^w^

First off, where the HELL could this possibly be?

A memory/mind scape the Absolute Solver created: This has to be Copper-9, based off of the two iconic moons to the top right. A memory, because this could be either the first core collapse, or Uzi viewing the destruction of Copper-9 from another solver entity's point of view. Mind scape as in this is where the solver drone minds go to. Every solver drone that has been consumed by the large Absolute Solver in the cathedral, had their own personalities and thoughts. To keep them all from clashing and acting out, perhaps the solver takes the hive-mind plane and creates spaces that the solver drones can warp through.

The "ascension" plane: Ginkgo, that's it, to the hospital you go chop chop. /j Anyways, why am I even bringing something like this up? Well, Uzi's mural says this.

There are two routes here: succumb to be the host of eternal entity, or ascend. Ascend to... where? And how? Here is where the more intense crack theories enter (or at least for me). This space is the hive-mind of the solver, yes, but this is where Uzi's internal battle against the Absolute Solver will happen. We all know that the last mural will be of N fighting off the Absolute Solver (most likely). But what if he had outside (inside technically?) help. While N may hold out against the solver, he may need help to finally break through and finish it off. Who would be a better candidate than Uzi? She has now, for better or worse, become part of the large amalgamation that sits in the core. Perhaps with the strongest hosts in the hive-mind: Uzi, Nori, Yeva (maybe, I'm not quite settled on her yet), and Cyn, they will all be able to stop the solver for good on Copper-9. This process is the ascension. Instead of succumbing to the Absolute Solver within the hive-mind scape, she will fight once again. This time around, coming out victorious and ascending to uhh... I'm not quite sure yet? Robo-heaven? Returning back into her corporal body? Becoming the next Absolute Solver but with less need to rule the world? (Ah, well she might still actually rule the world just for the fun of it XD) Honestly, it's far too late for me to be thinking any more. I might add on to this later on.

Is it a rather optimistic take on the ending? Perhaps, but I need a little optimism right about now. ;w;

Want more of my stupid rambles? This has 3 other parts! ;w;

[justghostly-things]

Why Mike Wheeler should get Vecna'd

I might need to rant about Mike Wheeler (to like the surprise of no one.) because if it's gonna be anyone its gotta be him, right? I don't think he is gonna die, or it's gonna be the exact same as it was for Max. (Simply because we have seen it before.) but I don't think it would be beneficial to Vecna any of the other characters.

and assuming that the Duffer brothers aren't just bad writers we know Mike has been acting weird for two whole seasons now. (I personally think it was worse in season 3 but it was still strange in season 4.) The show established him a certain way in season 1 then nailed it into the coffin that this is who he is in season 2 but then season 3 rolls around and he is just... Different. (An ass) Of course, we have our theories and analysis (thank you, to anyone who have compiled all the hints into one place what would we do without you 😭This or This or This)

but still.

Since we are talking about Stranger Things S4 and S5 there are a lot of uncomfortable topics that are going to be mentioned, I do not go into details. I barely mention it. I do not describe anything, but I do talk about the themes. Please stay safe while reading

We should look at this in three ways.

What it brings to the story

What advantage would it give Vecna (aka why would he want to Vecna them)

And how does it help the character

Let's talk about Max first. Because we can work out the logic with her and then try and translate it to other characters.

I think its import for this section to know that what Max has delt with is a very scary real thing. Many children have a very similar life as Max, and all I am going to do is talk about them from within the show. I will say is you are not a bad person because you wish death on someone who is hurting you. But from here on I am talking about Max from both her Pov and Vecna's. None of these things are my thought or feeling on the greater topic of abuse and dysfunctional families.

From a story perspective why was Max the one who got Vecna'd and not like, Dustin or Lucas? If you answered because she watched Billy die. Yes. Anyone who understands a progression of a story can figure out why it makes sense for Max to be Vecna'd. We create this guy who shows you your trauma reflected back at you and then kills you as seen in both Fred (Nancy's friend) and Chrissy.

Which of the main cast of characters just went through a trauma event just the season before? Max.

I think if this is all you take from season 4 you have fundamentally forgotten one important thing about Max getting Vecna'd. It isn't just about the trauma of her watching her brother die. No, Vecna specifically targets the fact that Max deep-down wished-for Billy to die, she used to fantasize about it. It isn't just survival guilt. And we are shown this visually through Fred who also has survival guilt. Their trauma is different because Max's guilt isn't just about surviving. That is why it had to be Max. Because all of the characters could feel some sort of Survival guilt. They have watched so many people die and get hurt. it reveals two things. One is how Max truly feels about Billy's death, and two it tells us more about what Vacna is actually doing in the vision. Because he isn't just trying to torture a traumatized Max to the point that she willing to just give up. it is showing Max some "ugly truth" about her to herself. Because that is what Vecna is. Or thinks he is. He sees the world as horrible and should be corrected and the only way to do that is by "starting over". This is him showing max what is "wrong" with her and killing her (so he can start her over/create a new her)

I feel like I need to rewatch season 3 again because I can't remember exactly but I think Max most likely played a big part in season 3 where she kept meddling with Possessed Billy. (Mike did too but we will get to that(this thing is gonna be long btw)) She showed that she is willing and able to mess up Vecna's plans.

(It is kinda a debated if it was just the Mind Flayer or if it was Vecna himself that possessed Billy (and Will in season 2) but for the purpose of this we will say that he at least knows the role that Max (and Mike) played in the mall fight.)

All of this to say from Vecna's Perspective, he sees a group of kids who keep getting in the way, And they are all close to El? And one of these kids has extreme guilt about Billy? Yeah of course he targets her. It is so useful. It'll get to El and the rest of the party. Making them weaker and affect them emotionally so they are more likely to react irrationally. It's so perfect for him. Literally Max says so in the show.

and Max, (I can tell some people aren't gonna be happy with me for this so just know I love max so much please, but) she up until season 4 was a bit of a weird character. She is a confusing character. Especially in season 2, she has a lot of character inconsistencies. This video explains all of what I am talking about in this section this really well. but she isn't really a main character until season 4. She plays more of a supporting role. Especially in season 3 where she is helping El find part of independence. And yes, we know Max has a hard home life and how Billy is an ass to her. We know this but we don't really understand it until season 4. She just feels like an inconsistent character up until this point. (you know who else is an inconsistent character-) Her getting Vecna'd shows us a direct shot into her head and we can start to piece together the truth of her character. We really get to understand why she is inconsistent. And how it isn't a flaw of the writing, it's Max being 13 and dealing with a terrible home life.

the best part about it is that there are clues all over that are screaming at us and I can tell you right now that there were probably so many children who saw themself in Max. And people who were screaming about how this is why! It's because of her home life! while the rest of us were just calling it inconsistent writing. And yes, I am gonna bring it up because this is exactly what we see with Mike Wheelers character. Because the truth is that we haven't seen the whole story, we have barely seen anything of Mike for the last two seasons. (mentally i know he is on screen I mean mentally) we just have a theory on what is going on in his head. and I think it would be a waste not to use Vecna to do the same thing they did for Max for Mike and this is ignoring all of the parallels the two characters have. this is just from a story point of view and omg can you tell how passionate I am about this??

Now do i think it is impossible for any of the other character to get Vecna'd? No? it would probably be more similar to how Nancy got Vecna'd. Mostly because if my other theory is correct (is this shameless self-promotion?) I don't think there is time for like all the character to get Vecna'd.

But yeah, lets talk about a few of the character and why I do or don't think they could get Vecna'd. I will try to make this quick.

Steve: Steve is very interesting and I kind of wanna make like a character analysis about him at some point (probably after I rewatch the show) but I think it could go either way. Steves whole arc for the whole show is to show us how someone can change. Steve started as an ass and has slowly been evolving to become a better person. And I think there is a place for Vecna to come into that but idk if he needs it. I think Steve's can jump over the last hoop by himself (unlike some people who haven't even started jumping... (Mike)) Overall I don't think it will tell us anything we don't already know about Steve, but I can see Vecna wanting to incapacity Steve because of his physical strength. Dustin: Again, I am not sure what more Dustin getting Vecna'd will tell us about Dustin. If anyone has any thoughts, please don't be scared to let me know. I can see Vecna also wanting to take out Dustin because of his smarts. So strategically I can see this being something Vecna would want to "Take out" (but i am not sure how strategic Vecna is? I certainly don't think it would be the main reason that he targets someone.) Lucas: Idk, I think it would be great to have Lucus be more import to the plot but if he is gonna get Vecna'd it's gonna be about Max and him "teaming" up with the Basketball? guys. (I say hesitantly because I don't remember what sport it was...) Which we don't need to be told he feels bad about because he told us. So, idk. I guess we can talk about Will as well: but it's really all the same thing, I don't know what new information we can learn if we see him getting Vecna'd. Sure, its angsty and that might be reason enough for some people, but I know if I was writing Season 5, I wouldn't even consider it. We know almost everything that is plaguing Will. We see almost everything first hand. And sure, we knew about Billy for Max but like I said it was more than just "she watched Billy die" and sure maybe there is something I just don't see or don't know. I just don't see reason for this poor boy to go through more. The other thing is I don't see why Vecna would want to not just kill but make Will suffer. Make him have a pain full death? If Vecna wanted Will dead, Will would be dead. its plain and simple. the amount of times Vecna had Will in his grasps? I don't believe it was just luck. I would actually love to see if there aren't times where Will could be in danger, or it would make more sense for the danger to target will but for some reason it didn't, and he came out unscathed? (if I notice anything in my rewatch I will add it here) but yeah. also, there is all the parallels between Will and Vecna, so I think Vecna sees himself in will, maybe like how he saw himself in El and maybe will try and recite him. Idk but it seems (to me at least) that Vecna has more planed than, make him suffer and then die, in store for will. This is a really good analysis and this I agreed with on why Will was probably not gonna get Vecna'd. But it is a really good (and funny) video so go check it out if you haven't.

all of this is making me want to do an analysis on Vecna/henry. I don't think he is a partially new kind of villain, but I think it would be fun to try and dive into his head.

Hopeful this is my last point where I finally get to talk about my boy Mike wheeler. This is a Mike wheeler safe place. (I say as I am about to make my point on why he should go through pain and torture next season.)

I kind of have talked about some of this but let's dive into more detail (like we did with Max) and talk about my three main points

What it brings to the story

What advantage would it give Vecna (aka why would he want to Vecna them)

And how does it help the character

I feel like the story has been building up to this for a long time actually. Not only with the stalker shots that Mike is shot in but everything we see about his character. From how much we have seen his character change between season 2 and 3, to how little we actually know about Mikes inner workings. Mike is a puzzle right now. He is surrounded by character who are at least decently written and at most complex and compelling. And he is a main character? Like if Mike was a Minor or supporting character (like Erica and arguably robin) it would be weird sure but at least expectable. But Mike was THE main character in the opening season. We learn the most about him. And we see a lot of the story threw his eyes. And what? Were just going to throw all of that away? Like it was nothing?

But! I bring up the point I made about Max again. About what she was like in season two, what our impression of Max as a character and how that changed in season 4. The reason her character acted like that was because of things we didn't have connections for until season 4. All the parts were laid out in front of us they just needed to be connected. Mike getting Vecna'd will literally connect the dots for us. it'll show us an obvious and clear answer for what is wrong with Mike. Because how, honestly, are they going to show us all of these complex things that has been haunting Mike without a Vecna vision? It's the last season. We do not have endless time to unpack everything that is happening inside his head. Especially if the season is going to be as busy as I expect. We have like 20 other character who needs screen time, and we are getting introduced to more characters? And we have to fight the big bad? and there is gonna be a time skip (I swear to whatever higher being there is if they try to pull a "all Mikes' problems got fixed over the time skip" bs I am gonna be on the news for homicide. no-one will ever hear the end of it, omg. i don't even care if Byler becomes cannon, there will be war.) point is this matter is delicate and Mike lips on the matter are sealed so tight. If he hasn't said a word about this in 3 years he isn't gonna talk about it now. He needs a push, and Vecna is going to push him down a flight of stairs.

I do feel like I am repeating myself but it's crazy how similar Mike and Max character are. Almost like they are shining bright neon lights saying like look at this! notice this! and I know I am not the only one to point this out. But like what was stated in this video, Mike is almost the perfect person to Vecna'd , he not only has a connection with both El and Will. He, as Will would put it, is "the heart" of the party. He is connected to all the other character in some way. And if taking Max out would of killed motivation/ made the party unstable imagine what killing Mike would do to them? Which is why I do believe in the Mike was the original four victim theory (I think I saw someone go into more detail, but I can't find it. If I do, I will update with both links)

Also, remember when I mentioned that both Mike and Max have meddled with Vecna's plot in season 3, I just think I should point out how in the gym scene where they trap Billy in the sauna it is Mike taunting Him. And in season 2 he was the one who figured out that Will was possessed. All I can think of for season 1 is that he took El in and formed a kindling with her, which isn't strong evidence but idk maybe Vecna gets jealous easily idk.

And I think to understand this last point I would recommend watching or reading threw the links I linked all the way at the top of this discussion. but I would urge you to watch this at the very least: This video

if you haven't caught on yet, I do believe the Vecna visions are going to reveal to the audience that Mike is gay and has been the whole time. aemiron-main has a very good theory on how I think this is gonna go, because that falls into the same thought bubble as Max's. Where I think the theme isn't just that he is dealing with internalised Homophobia but his guilt surrounding his queerness. which we can easily explore through a vision. and it explains why he has been acting this way, especially in season 3. Like, can you even think about what this poor kid is going though mentally because, your best friend, literally your person got possessed, you watched as they lead to your friends new dad's death? like you can do nothing? and you blame yourself because if you had stop being gay for two seconds just to notice that there is something off about him you could have saved everyone? YEah I would be an asshole as well. Honestly, I think all the clues are there we just Vecna to piece them together.

And even in the very unlikely situation where I and like every other Byler are wrong about Mike being gay. Mike getting Vecna'd can only mean positive things for his character.

I feel like I had another point to make but I genuinely can't remember what it was T_T so, if I remember I will update this. But that is my point. Mike wheeler is gay and will be tormented by demonic infused visions of him being gay in the next season. so, you know. like an average Tuesday for any queer.

[lesbianpizza]

LizzieCon

Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Female Reader

Warnings: Daddy kink, dom/sub dynamic, marking, semi public, spit kink, cum strap, fingering, blowjob(R giving), choking, face slapping, spanking(once), brief nipple play, degradation, praise, breeding, allusion to pregnancy kink, pet names (kitten, sweetheart), let me know if I missed any

Word Count: 5075

Summary: You let your jealousy and possessiveness get the best of you at a convention but what happens when your girlfriend has other plans?

A/n: Lol I’ve been talking about uploading something for a long ass time but I’m finally doing it! This is my first time posting something I write so please be nice if it isn’t that good. This story was born when me and @olsenmyolsen saw Lizzie wearing those pants at Comic Con and basically lost our minds😅. They encouraged me to write and actually publish this so here I am!

MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

You weren’t sure why it happened. You were used to sharing your girlfriend with the world to a certain extent. She was a celebrity after all, so a certain amount of sharing was to be expected. But for some reason it really got to you today. You knew Lizzie would be busy all day at this convention but what you didn't anticipate was the flood of jealousy you would experience seeing her meet so many fans. Not just the way they hugged her and gushed over how much they loved her, but also the way she giggled and hugged them BACK. It was irrational and you knew that, but it didn’t stop that feeling of jealousy to slowly grow as the hours ticked by.

By now it was the second day and Lizzie was still in high spirits, meeting every single fan with a huge smile. You however were less than pleased. You had barely gotten to spend any time with your girlfriend aside from a few measly hours eating and getting ready for bed while strangers hogged all her time and energy. You still tried your best to be supportive and put on a smile because you knew how much she’s come to love events like these over the years and deep down you’d hate for that to change. But you’re no actor and have never been the best at hiding your true emotions, at least not from Lizzie.

She had noticed since yesterday how your mood got progressively worse throughout the day and could see you glaring daggers at every person who went to hug her. She would have said something if she didn’t find it extremely entertaining. And today she had a little plan to put you in your rightful place.

Lizzie was almost done with the first meet and greet of the day and you had just about had enough. It was right around the moment someone asked to take a picture of them proposing to her when you started to see red. If looks could kill, that person would have been obliterated from every timeline in the multiverse. From then on logic played no part in your actions.

The second Lizzie finished up with the last person you barely gave her a moment's notice before you marched up to her, grabbing her hand as you said “Come with me” with smoke practically coming out of your ears. You dragged her to an empty hallway in the back of the convention center to claim what was rightfully yours. You couldn’t see it but Lizzie had a devious smirk plastered on her face because she knew what was coming and she couldn’t wait for her plan to unfold.

As soon as the double doors leading to the hallway closed, you looked around to make sure you were truly alone.

Once you were certain no one else was there, you pushed her up against a wall and whispered a singular word with as much authority as you could muster before your lips met in a bruising kiss, “Mine”.

It was desperate and needy despite the fact that you were trying to show dominance in that moment. You grabbed both of her hands and pinned them above her head as you pulled away from the kiss.

“You’ve been ignoring me all day and I need attention” you said with a little pout, still doing your best to be dominant with her for once.

She looked back at you with an innocent smile. “Aw, is my baby not getting enough attention?” She was aware there was still a small gap between the two of you that had yet to be closed so you truly had no idea what was in store for you.

She leaned her head forward and stopped millimeters from your face. Your heart rate elevated as your breaths now mingled as one.

“Sweetheart, if you wanted my attention that badly, all you had to do was ask” she whispered with a growing smirk. Seeing her expression made you falter, which Lizzie took advantage of. She twisted you around and slammed you face first into the wall holding your hands behind you as if you weighed nothing. It was quick and unforgiving to the point where she knocked the wind out of you a little bit with the sheer force. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t stoke the growing fire within you.

She leaned in until she was pressing you against the wall with her whole body and that’s when you felt it. You weren’t sure how you hadn’t noticed before. Maybe it was because she got dressed in the bathroom today instead of the room like usual. Maybe it was because she chose to wear baggier pants today and you were a little busy glaring at every human being that came in contact with your girlfriend but now it was undeniable. She was packing. You tried your best to suppress a whimper at the feeling, failing to push your ass further into her strap. She leaned in so that her lips were just barely brushing against your right ear.

“That’s what I thought. You’ve been a bad girl today y/n. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your little attitude problem since yesterday. It was cute at first, but now Daddy has to remind you who the fuck is in charge here.” Her grip on your hands tightened significantly with that last sentence as if to further emphasize her point.

“Now, you have two options. You can either apologize and put that pretty mouth to good use, or I can walk away right now and leave y-“

“No please! I’ll do whatever you want just please don’t leave me here!” You whined.

The smack to your ass was swift, delivering an exhilarating sting just painful enough to make you realize your mistake.

“Interrupt me again and that’s exactly what will happen brat” Her tone was harsh which told you she meant every word.

“I’m sorry Daddy it won’t happen again I promise! I’ll do anything you want just please I need you!”

“Anything baby? Can’t say I hate the sound of that” She let go of your hands and spun you in place so that your back was now against the wall and took a step back.

“On your knees slut” She used both hands to push you to the ground until you landed on your knees with a thud. You’d definitely be feeling that later but that didn’t matter now. She unbuttoned her pants in one swift movement and reached down. You could barely contain yourself as she pulled out her cock and you saw which one it was. It had been a while since she used this one and never in a public setting. Sure you’d fooled around in a changing room or two before but never with a strap, much less this one. She looked down at you with a predatory gaze that made your insides quiver as she reached out to grab your hair in a vice grip tugging you slightly forward.

Your scalp stung but all you could focus on was the 7 inch cock right in front of your face. Her expression softened slightly as she tilted your head up.

“Tap my thigh three times if you need to stop, ok baby?”

“Yes Daddy” you said as you tried to nod despite the hold she had on your hair.

“Good Girl” And just like that any semblance of softness evaporated as her eyes darkened and her expression turned hard again.

“Now be a good little whore and suck”

You barely had time to open your mouth before she thrust forward making you gag instantly. Usually she would ease you into it, allowing your throat to adjust to the intrusion, but not today. She wasn’t going to take it easy on you. Her pace was brutal from the beginning. Thrusting her hips in and out of your mouth watching as your eyes began to tear up. She couldn’t help but take pride in how well you were taking her. She had trained you well. Despite the rough treatment, you were in heaven. You’d happily take anything she was willing to give which is why you just relaxed your throat and let her fuck your mouth relentlessly. Not that you could back away anyway since she still had you pinned against the wall.

The strap was at the perfect angle so it rubbed deliciously against her clit. That combined with the adorable little gagging noises coming from the back of your throat had her feral.

“You better not stop until my cum is coating your entire throat kitten” She practically growled. She thrust harder, making you take her entire length as she held you there coating her cock in saliva all while still having a vice grip on your hair. She did this a few more times and was starting to dig her nails into your scalp from how hard she was gripping you. You wouldn’t be surprised if she drew blood. The thought alone had you rolling your eyes in the back of your head in pleasure. You hadn’t been on your knees for long but you could feel your wetness growing in your panties the more you sucked.

The feeling of her cock hitting the back of your throat was addicting and knowing you were at her mercy in such a vulnerable position made it that much hotter. She pulled out all at once leaving a thick string of spit connecting your lips to her cock. You coughed and tried to take in a full breath after not being able to breathe properly.

Your face was a beautiful mess. Tears flowing freely down your cheeks, lips slightly swollen from the abuse, and an unmistakable haze in your eyes. Lizzie could only think of one thing. She had to ruin you utterly and completely.

“God you’re such a fucking cock whore, it’s pathetic really” she leaned over and tipped your head up again.

“Open” she commanded. You mindlessly stuck out your tongue and she let a ball of spit land directly on it. You swallowed it without an ounce of hesitation.

“Fuck…never mind come here” she commanded as her pupils dilated more than you thought possible. “I’d much rather fill your pussy up and watch as my cum slowly drips onto your pretty thighs''

She lifted you up by your hair and spun you around so you were once again facing the wall. Your arms were at least able to brace for the impact this time. Meanwhile hers touched every inch of your body in a desperate need to claim you. Her right hand reached down to grope your ass harshly and continued further down into your dress. She used two fingers to swipe over your covered pussy and chuckled.

“Fuck baby you’re so wet. Is there something you want? Need perhaps?” She teased. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you squirmed.

“Daddyyyyy” you pleaded “Pleeeaase I need it”

“What do you need, baby? Use your words” she teased as she pushed your panties to the side. Her finger barely making contact with your needy pussy.

“Fuck me Daddy please! Fuck me ruin me use me please I-“ she interrupts your rambling by pushing two fingers into your wet hole, fucking into you slowly.

“You little slut. You’re going to regret saying that” she said with an evil grin.

“And you’re already more than wet enough to take my cock aren’t you sweetheart?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

After a few minutes she pulled her fingers out but before you had enough time to complain she had her cock lined up, already pushing into you. She bottomed out in one swift motion making you choke on air. Your wetness combined with your saliva still coating her strap ensured that it slid in with no resistance whatsoever.

She started fucking into you slowly at first but lost her patience to lust and picked up the pace grabbing your hair again to pull your head aside and kiss your neck. She sucked your pulse point painfully, soothing the spot briefly with her tongue before attacking again. You let out a wanton moan knowing exactly what she was doing. She was marking her property for the rest of the world to see.

Lizzie put a hand over your mouth silencing you.

“Shut your fucking mouth unless you want someone to see you like this” she said harshly. You clenched hard at the thought and moaned against her hand thinking about the possibility.

“Oh you like that? Fuck you’re an even bigger slut than I thought” She leaned in to lick and bite the shell of your ear as she whispers, “I bet you’d love that wouldn’t you? For someone to walk in while I’m fucking your brains out so the whole world can know what a whore you are for me.” You felt her lips brushing the shell of your ear as she spoke.

“You know, I should be eating lunch right now but nooo my little slut of a girlfriend needed me to take care of her because she can’t seem to go a few short hours without me being inside of her” she spat as she quickened her pace.

Her words only served to increase your arousal as you met her thrusts the best you could using your palms as leverage to push back onto her cock, allowing it to go even deeper. It should be embarrassing how turned on you were in this moment and any other time you would be but right now all you could think was how good she felt inside of you. Your orgasm was fast approaching and you knew she would be furious if you tried to cum without permission.

“Daddy…I- Fuck! Ple- I nee-“ you sputtered out. Coherency no longer an option with how deliciously you were being fucked.

“Seriously, you already want to cum? How fucking pathetic” Her pace not faltering for a second. If she kept this up you were going to cum with or without her permission and you did NOT want to find out what would happen if it was without.

Lizzie was getting close too so she quickly pulled out of you and turned you back around to face her. She wasted no time in roughly tugging your panties off and safely tucked them away in her pants pocket. She then grabbed your hips and motioned for you to jump up. You wrapped your legs around her waist as she held you up hovering over her cock just out of reach. Her being more than strong enough to carry the weight of your entire body but taking advantage of the support the wall provided.

“You will cum with me or not at all, do you understand? And look at me when I’m talking to you”

You whined and tried to complain but the slap to your face put a stop to that real quick. It hurt but still made you moan and clench around nothing. Lizzie rolled her eyes and put her left hand around your throat, squeezing the sides just enough to make you struggle for every breath. For a second you wondered how the hell she was able to hold you up with just one arm around your waist but that was going to have to be a question for later.

“Let’s try that again shall we? You will cum when I do or you won’t cum for the next week. Do I make myself clear?” She emphasized her last question with a short but harsh squeeze.

“Yes Daddy I understand, I’m sorry” you choked out with the limited oxygen you had, nodding the best you could. She released her hold on your neck and brought her hand down to swipe at your pussy teasingly reveling in how sensitive you already were.

“That’s my good girl. Remember baby you gotta stay quiet for me okay?”

You nodded as you felt her lowering you onto her cock, using one hand to hold you and the other to guide her cock. Once she bottomed out she resumed her rough pace. Fucking you against the wall with all the force she could muster. This new angle allowed her to bury herself even deeper inside of you, making your toes curl.

She used the hand that was previously on her cock to pull your dress down and expose one of your breasts. She leaned down and started greedily sucking your nipple, biting down harshly just to hear you cry out in pain. She continued sucking your breast leaving another cluster of purple bruises for people to see.

It was all too much. You were doing your best to hold back your orgasm but you knew you wouldn’t last much longer.

Lizzie took a second to look at her watch to see what time it was. If she didn’t finish with you soon, she was going to be late to her next signing.

“Shit” She breathed as she fucked into you impossibly faster and harder. At this point you had to put your hand over your mouth to keep from making any loud noises. As much as the idea of being caught turned you on you knew that the reality would not be nearly as pleasant. She moved it out of the way and replaced it with her lips. Devouring you so all you knew was her. Her taste, her smell, her touch, nothing more. Just as oxygen started becoming an issue she pulled back and without hesitation you begged “Cum inside me Daddy please I need it so bad! Please just fill me up, I can't hold it anymore!”

She looked at you with the most feral gaze you’ve ever seen “You wanna be my little cum slut? Huh? Say it! Say you’re my little cum slut!”

“I’m your li- cum slut Daddy! Fu-“ you could barely push the words out with how cloudy your brain was. Something in Lizzie broke hearing you in such a disheveled state. It stoked her already burning fire into a blazing inferno. You weren’t sure where she found the strength but somehow she managed to start fucking you even harder and faster than she already was. You were a goner.

“If only my cum was real, kitten. I’d make sure you left here pregnant. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll switch it out for the real thing.” You heard the words coming out of her mouth but you didn’t fully grasp their meaning in all your haze.

What you could tell though was that you were getting dangerously close to your orgasm and you hadn’t gotten permission to cum. You wanted to speak up but no words would form. The only sounds that would leave your mouth were breathy gasps and moans as you inched closer and closer to your release. Staying quiet was a thought buried in the past as you both chased your highs. This was it, you were about to fall over the precipice head first into your orgasm and there was nothing you could do to stop it. You closed your eyes, ready for it to wash over you at any moment. The next minute you heard her voice cut through the fog clouding your brain.

“Fuck babygirl I’m so close! Open your eyes for me. I want to see you when you cum” she says practically out of breath. You dig deep and force your eyes open. It felt like your eyelids were weighed down by a ton of bricks but you managed to do it anyway.

When you opened your eyes you were sure you were seeing the face of god. Lizzies face and chest were coated in a thin sheen of sweat. Her cheeks flushed in a soft pink. Her eyes, full of lust and determination. Her mouth slightly agape letting out small quick pants that made her chest rise and fall. You could tell she was extremely close. She looked you straight in the eyes and panted out “Cum with me baby. Now!”

The next thing you knew Lizzie scrunched her face and reached for the pump attached to the strap. She squeezed it as she came, squirting her load deep inside you as she fucked you through her orgasm.

That was all it took for you to spiral into yours as she pressed her lips against you in an attempt to keep you quiet. You couldn’t help but squeeze your eyes shut as your orgasm shot through you like a bolt of white hot lightning. It was one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever experienced. Your ears were ringing, your legs were trembling, and it felt like every particle of your being was humming. You weren’t sure how long this went on for but it felt like an eternity in the best way possible.

You both rode out your orgasms as she continued to fuck her cum into you. You felt so full you were sure it would start to leak out the moment she pulled out of you. Once you had both come down from your highs you stayed there desperately trying to catch your breaths for a moment, your foreheads leaning on each other for support. When you both had regulated your breathing a bit, she lifted you off of her strap enjoying the little whine that escaped your mouth. She set you down on the floor making sure you were leaning against the wall for support as you were still recovering. You could feel the cum start to leak out but before you could go to wipe it away Lizzie grabbed hold of your hand.

“Ah ah, don’t go getting any naughty ideas now. Leave it. You’ll stay like this for the rest of the day as a reminder of how much of a slut you are. If you try to wipe it off or clean it in any way, I will know and you will be punished when we get back to the hotel. Am I clear?” She said, vice grip still on your hand.

“Ok Daddy I’ll leave it. Can I at least have my underwear back so it doesn’t drip down my legs?” You asked weakly, already knowing the answer before she even said a word.

“No. You wanna act like a slut you get treated like one and sluts don’t wear panties do they?” You shook your head no, a small pout forming on your lips. You hoped against hope that your little puppy dog face would make her take pity on you, but you knew it was a lost cause. When Lizzie set her mind to something, she did it and no force on earth could stop her.

Lizzie looked down at her watch again and cursed.

“Shit I’m fucking late!” She exclaimed as she tucked her strap back into the confines of her pants and buttoned them back up.

“Go find something for us to eat and then catch up to me at the signing yeah? We kind of skipped lunch and now I’m starving” she said with a smile. Her face was void of the previous emotions she displayed. The only emotion you could see was pure love. “Rest here for a few minutes if you need to, okay kitten? You did such a good job, I’m so proud of you. But don’t take too long. I need my best girl at my side” She ended her last sentence with a huge grin followed by a series of loving but hasty kisses.

“Ok baby I will. Now go before the people riot!” You say with a giggle. She kissed you one last time before she excused herself and ran out the door.

You stood there for a few minutes collecting yourself. You played back the last 45 minutes in your head in disbelief.

‘Holy shit did that really just happen?’ You thought to yourself. What you two had done was beyond risky and so insanely reckless. It could have gone wrong in about a million different ways, but you didn’t really allow yourself to dwell on that. At the end of the day, it was hot as hell and you would 100% do it again if you had the chance. Yeah the proper thing to say would be that it would never happen again but then again, you’ve never been very proper to begin with.

You fixed your dress the best you could and started walking to the bathroom. Only now feeling Lizzie’s fake cum starting to drip down your thigh.

“Fuck me” you whispered to yourself as you started speed walking to the nearest bathroom to assess the damage, chuckling at the irony of that statement. Thankfully you had access to the staff bathrooms because of Lizzie so you at least knew you wouldn’t accidentally run into any fangirls in there. Luckily for you, it was empty since all the convention staff were busy working the event so you had the whole bathroom to yourself.

You quickly walk up to a mirror and look at your reflection and what you see shocks the living shit out of you. Angry purplish red marks littered the side of your neck and breasts which you only now noticed were actually kind of sore. No amount of makeup in the world would be able to cover those up. Thankfully, the ones on your chest would mostly be covered by your dress and the ones on the side of your neck could be covered by your hair as long as you didn’t really move around too much.

As for the cum that had now dripped more than halfway down your thighs, you had a choice to make. Would you leave it and risk the embarrassment of someone seeing it, or would you wipe it off and deal with whatever consequences Lizzie had in mind?

The choice was actually kind of a no brainer. You had just had the best sex in your life from misbehaving once. Who knows how good it could get if you pissed her off twice in one day. There was only one way to find out. You went into a stall to grab some toilet paper and wiped yourself perfectly clean leaving no trace of the fake cum behind. As you did this you wondered in passing if Lizzie was serious about one day switching the fake cum out for the real thing. You made a mental note to ask her about it in the next few days just to check if that was a heat of the moment thing or if she was actually serious. Either way, you wouldn’t be mad about it.

You also noticed the faint bruises that were forming on your knees from landing on them so hard. You were sure they’d be even worse by tomorrow but hey that’s what pants were for.

You checked yourself in the mirror one last time to make sure you looked as presentable as you possibly could before heading out to the convention area to buy some food for the two of you. You ended up getting pizza for yourself and some weird quinoa dish for your girlfriend. She might be into all those grains and vegetables, but you were strictly a pizza and pasta kind of woman. You headed over to the area where you knew Lizzie was supposed to be doing her signing. Security let you pass with no problem seeing as they already knew you from the day before.

You walked up to the empty seat next to Lizzie and tapped her with your elbow to let her know you were there without interrupting her flow. She looked over at you with a soft smile on her face as she acknowledged your presence and then went back to finish signing someone’s fan art.

“Hey baby, I got you this quinoa thing. I think it looks kinda gross but you’ll probably love it.” You half whispered so as to be respectful of the people trying to get their merch signed.

Lizzie just chuckled and shook her head as she looked at your pizza, “You know it wouldn’t kill you to put something green in your body every once in a while.”

“Actually I think it would and you’d feel terrible if you were the reason for my demise” you shot back with a cheeky grin. She just rolled her eyes in fake annoyance at your sass. Having given up on getting you to eat your vegetables a long time ago.

You took a few bites of your pizza before deciding to poke the bear.

You leaned in close to make sure no one else overheard you “Sorry I took so long, I just had to go to the bathroom to freshen up the downstairs a bit”

As you pulled away you saw the smallest change in her expression as her eyes flashed with recognition. She looked down at your lap for a quarter of a second before going back to greeting a fan and signing their funko pop case. As they walked away she leaned in closely so her lips were brushing against your ear as she spoke, “Didn’t I tell you what would happen if you disobeyed me sweetheart?” Her sickly sweet tone sent a shiver up your spine.

“Technically you didn’t actually specify what would happen if I did so I’m gonna have to go with no” you quipped. Your smirk was evident in your voice despite Lizzie not being able to see it.

She never faltered though. “Let’s just see how cocky you are when we get back to the hotel baby. Cuz you’re in for one hell of a night.” Your pussy quivered in anticipation of what she had in store for you.

And just like that she pulled back in time for the next fan to be ushered in, acting like nothing had just happened. She greeted them with a warm smile and happily signed the poster they handed her as they gushed over how much they loved her. Boy she was one hell of an actress.

You spent the rest of the time eating your pizza and daydreaming about all the things your girlfriend was going to do to you when you got back to your hotel room. You couldn’t wait. What could you say? Being a brat has its upsides.

[blurbfics]

There'd Better Be a Mirrorball | Azriel x OFC [part twelve]

Summary: Azriel frets over Eowyn's wellbeing. Gwyn delivers an unpleasant message.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: angst, yearning, self-deprecating talk, anger, worry, self-doubts

a/n: can't be a proper slow-burn without some yearning, right? sorry lovelies, we gotta go through Angst Road to get to Smut and Fluff Blvd. all i have to say is please go vote! and of course, rest in peace liam payne (rip my eternal hope that we'd see the boys together again at some point)

Minors, do not interact.

part eleven

masterlist

"But she once fell through the street

Down a manhole in that bad way

The underground drip

Was just like her scuba days

Days

Daze"

Interpol, Stella was a diver and she was always down

He goes four nights without seeing her.

Three days and four nights of prowling the entrance to the library, of having his shadows slither down to investigate and report on her progress. Three days of not seeing her, and although Cassian tried to console him with the reminder that he’s gone longer without seeing her when he goes on long missions, his brother is well aware that it isn’t the same and with a single look from Azriel, pointed and unfaltering, he doesn’t try to bring it up to him again.

All the waiting and the worrying and the asking, the begging for the smallest crumbs of information from any priestess that came into his path (that of which was usually Gwyn, who blessedly went directly to him to report on Eowyn’s wellbeing), was torture for him.

And Azriel knew torture. Knew it quite literally like the back of his marred grotesque hands.

He doesn’t sleep that night, the first night. Didn’t sleep much the other three but that first night, after the priestesses kicked him out and he was ‘persuaded’ to leave the library altogether with Rhys’s logical reasoning and Cassian’s… physical cajoling, he allowed them to move him only as far as the entrance to the library leading up to the House of Wind and then he stayed there, alone and in silence, awake the entire night. 

His shadows, finding it easier to sneak through, didn't even confirm with him before going down to look after her at their own accord before he could even think about sending them out to do it, and they stayed by her side to relate to him everything that happened to her.

That is, until he considered that what he was doing was an invasion of her privacy, so he retracted them much to their (and admittedly his) chagrin and he remained there, fretting and pacing, murmuring to his shadows and to himself. He found he could not sit longer than two and a half minutes without feeling frantic energy build within him, and sleep came to no avail. Throughout that time, he finally took Cassian’s invitation to stay at the House of Wind, if only to wash and get his meals, in the rare occasion he remembered to eat.

The second day went by much the same but he had the entirety of the day to consider not only the turn of events in the apothecary and what the herbalist revealed, but particularly her words as she was having her episodes. While still herself, she told him not to pay any heed to her words yet how was he supposed to forget her pained cries?

Her voice echoed through his mind.

“B-but I did! I swear it ada*, I did! I mended every single one of your— no no, ada, please!”

The things the shadows managed to capture while still inside only got worse in nature. The first words she had spoken in his ear, however, those words spoken in another language echoed through his mind day and night. The frustration at not knowing what they meant was driving him half insane. On the third day, after hearing from Gwyn that she was doing much better, now seeming much more lucid— he had admittedly sniffed derisively at that but made no further comment— he took to the skies and paid a quick visit to his brother.

Without any hemming and hawing he went straight to the point. “I need you to translate something.”

Rhys was quick with it, immediately breaching past Azriel’s lowered mental walls to dig his talons to peer inside. Azriel freely offered him the memory, not lingering on the details he wanted to keep only to himself, like the feel of her soft supple body in his arms, and the way she’d dug her face in his neck and inhaled, consequently bringing her so close to his face that he could do nothing but freely bask in her scent himself.

Clearly guessing where Azriel’s train of thought inevitably trailed off to, Rhys didn’t linger long inside Azriel’s head but didn’t offer the answer with the immediacy Azriel was seeking.

“Well?” He pressed in a manner that was more natural to Cassian.

“It’s a very ancient tongue. One I thought to be extinct long ago,” Rhys answered at last. “I’ll need to ask Amren.”

“There’s no time,” Azriel hissed, running a hand through his hair, “she won’t be here until next week.”

“Amren arrives today,” Rhys raised an eyebrow, his own violet eyes scanning Azriel in concern. “Have you slept at all, brother?”

Azriel dismissed him. “There’s no time,” he repeated under his breath. With shadows furling faster around him, he turned to leave.

“I’ll let you know what I learn,” is the last thing he heard from the High Lord before he stepped into his shadows back to the House of Wind’s entrance to the library.

By the fourth day, his shadows— disobedient things that they were— reported back that Eowyn’s seizing visions were becoming few and far between and she was now resting, reading and conversing with Clotho and Gwyn. After he’d made sure that Eowyn was faring better, he accepted Nesta's insistence for him to have dinner with her and Cassian, only to have Gwyn herself step into the kitchen as they ate.

He startled when the young priestess stepped in, however, heart in his throat at the thought of something happening to Eowyn in the ten minutes he’d been away. “Is everything-“

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she blushed shyly and the way she carried herself spoke of curious trepidation, not the concerned urgency he feared. She did, however, seem rather tired and he found he was endlessly grateful to her for caring for Eowyn in a way he couldn’t do. In a way Clotho hadn’t allowed him to.

(It sent a sharp shooting pain through his chest to consider that it was Eowyn herself who hadn't wanted him there; that she didn’t trust him to stay at her side after the long months of spending almost every day together, of having gotten to know each other so intimately. It was easier to blame Clotho for not allowing him to stay. The alternative left him with a feeling that was too raw and ugly to consider at the moment.)

“You’re not,” Nesta said mildly, if a touch concerned herself. “Everything okay with Eowyn?”

“Oh yes, she’s doing much better,” Gwyn assured them quickly, “she’s been reading dreadfully boring old texts all day about minerals or rocks or something, so you know that means she’s pretty much back to normal.”

Cassian and Nesta immediately invited her to sit and eat with them, which she did after a brief moment of hesitation. “I mostly just came up to let you guys know the good news and deliver a message from Eowyn saying that she’ll join us tomorrow morning, but she won’t be able to stay for training with Azriel,” she gave Azriel a quick pout as if to emphasize her point. He chuckled lightly at the sight, feeling a heavy weight lift off his shoulders at the certainty of seeing Eowyn the following morning. The pang of disappointment that shot through him at not being able to see her during their session together was immediately quelled by the reminder that she still had to take it easy and recuperate after such a dreadful episode– which inevitably led to the reassuring thought of spending that time with her anywhere else for the day, taking care of her if she allowed him to. “For some time.”

It took him a second to understand.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Gwyn swallowed nervously, “we were talking about training and how she’s doing much better now. Remember Cassian? When you mentioned last session how she can start training with Em and Nesta and I? And well, she-“ she continued to ramble, speaking quickly, “well she thinks that since she’s pretty much caught up now, she doesn’t have to stay after and train with you anymore.”

“She doesn’t get to decide when she’s caught up,” he hissed through his teeth, incredulously, still trying to wrap his mind around her words. He narrowed his eyes, unbelieving, “and why doesn’t she tell me this herself?”

“Well she said she would, but thought it would be a good idea if I just… told you, while you're here,” she blushed again, looking up at him through her lashes. “She… well, she insisted she doesn’t need to train as much anymore.”

He pursed his lips in annoyance, but tried not to let it show as he considered Gwyn’s words, still reeling. He zoned out for the remainder of his quick dinner, too lost in his head as he considered Gwyn’s announcement, spoken with such nonchalance that he couldn’t bring himself to accept it.

Still, the more he considered that, the more he considered the way Eowyn had so viciously attacked the herbalist and the more he thought about that, the more he thought about the herbalist’s revelation. 

She said that Eowyn was a witch, and had Eowyn tried to deny it at all? Now that he thought about it, he realized she hadn’t, but she hadn’t confirmed it either. Had she lied right to his face when she talked about her abilities?

He felt his mind begin to clear now that the concern for her wellbeing was wearing off. He considered everything that had happened since he came back from his mission to find her stomping through the streets of Velaris, seeming angry and unlike herself. He hated himself for not having considered telling Rhysand about the herbalist’s accusation.

Witches were extinct. Those that were rumored to survive the Great Witch Purge, lived in the far reaches of the Middle, where they practiced all sorts of dark magic and were rumored to hate all faeries, but were known to consume their blood to be able to access their magic.

Witches were typically considered evil beings by all species, but most importantly, they were known to be extremely powerful. 

Rhysand, however, was never the type to believe the stereotypes applied to different creatures, an Illyrian and Shadowsinger like himself included, and knew better than to believe the necessary facade of dark infamy and notoriety in order to survive in this world as a powerful creature, lest they be hunted down to be enslaved and used for barbaric acts.

To have a witch under one’s control would be just as dangerous, if not more, as having access to the Cauldron itself.

Rhys had never expelled nor hunted a witch himself, but it wasn’t in his nature to outright mistreat or deny a being that could be a possible ally, as well as an equal.

For only the briefest of instances– born out of centuries worth of friendship, of fraternal familiarity, acceptance, and love for his brother– he considered telling Rhysand about the accusation made against her.

But he wouldn’t tell his brother about Eowyn, he realized grimly. Both ashamed at himself for withholding possibly valuable and integral information that could strengthen their Court and the general citizens of all of Prythian; and ashamed by even considering betraying Eowyn’s trust before he could even have the opportunity to speak to her about it first.

If he slept at all that night, it was sparse and filled with dark and tortuous nightmares of his family hating him. The thought of Eowyn hating him left a sinking empty void in the center of his being that stole all sleep and breath away from him altogether.

When he woke up hours before the break of dawn, having dreamt of her briefly, an entire audience of hers, laughing at him as he opened up and shared with her a part of himself that he didn’t think worthy of sharing with anyone else, his guilt and grief turned into simmering anger.

So when he saw her the next morning, wearing a covering that revealed only her eyes, he approached her and asked, “how are you feeling?”

“Much better,” her voice was calm and neutral, lacking both the usual teasing lilt and the anger and desperation of the last time they’d spoken. “Thank you for bringing me back to the library. And for asking for me while I was indisposed.”

The way her voice came out emotionless, formal, and cold while her eyes looked just as dark and beautiful as ever— even rested, for once— pissed him off even more.

“Good,” he snapped and turned away from her, refusing to watch as she walked over to her usual spot and decided, at that moment, to not look at her at all for the rest of the session. Still, he was always aware of her presence and as his shadows reminded him, they had not promised to look away from her, so he knew, even without looking at her, that she trained in unfaltering unison with the rest of the priestesses. 

Two things happened during that session. First was the feel of Rhys talons in his head as his research finally paid off; then came Eowyn’s impressive but entirely unsurprising achievement, for she was a natural warrior and she had made great success in the months they had trained together. 

Failing to remember his resolution to not look at her, he watched her in complete open awe– as expressive and adoringly as a stoic and unemotional male like him could show.

In an effortless and perfect stance, she stood before the pole with a familiar light-consuming obsidian dagger held in an offensive hold above her head, hips and feet positioned perfectly, knees bent at just the right angle.

At the end of that morning session, the morning after she’d had someone else tell him she didn’t need him any more, Eowyn cut the ribbon. 

While he was indescribably proud of her achievement, the act was like a slap in the face. 

As if the Cauldron or Fate or the Mother herself were sharing a laugh at his expense, her action only reinforced the words Rhys had translated in his mind earlier in the day: I will never cede.

—

After training, as all the Valkyries filed out of the training ring and back into the library– Eowyn among the last few who happily celebrated her successful cut– he called out her name.

She pretended she didn’t hear him. 

His irritation was only fuelled by Cassian’s knowing look and understanding pat to the shoulder before taking off into the skies to offer Azriel some privacy.

As soon as his brother took off, he tried to call Eowyn’s name again but despite it catching the attention of a few priestesses, Gwyn among them, who quickly turned to Eowyn and nudged her, Eowyn did not stop.

He hadn’t taken her for a coward. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Beyond annoyed at that point, Azriel sent off a few shadows to cinch around her waist and stop her from going further, even pulling her back a little.

The surprise in her eyes was brief before her face fell back into cool neutrality. The sight of it pissed him off so much, he finally understood his family’s frustration at him when he schooled his features back into place.

She waved at the others to continue without her and then turned to him, her gaze blazé and unlike her.

“Didn’t Gwyn tell you?”

“Tell me what exactly,” he bit, wanting to hear it from her.

“I won’t be able to stay and train with you after our group sessions anymore.”

It was a simple statement of fact, and the way in which she said it, so nonchalantly and unbothered, had his cool anger boiling in his veins, fueled by the hurt in his chest.

“Why?”

She looked away then, but not for long. She observed him quietly for a moment, seeming to be thinking of how to form her words. “I just… don’t think I need it anymore,” he saw it coming yet it still struck him- this time in the pit of his stomach, “the main reason why I accepted the extra training was to wear off some of the excess energy I felt, but I’m doing better now, now that it’s all over,” she waved her hand casually, as if her being so ill and delirious for days was a normal occurrence.

“You’ll have questions, I imagine,” she tilted her head and he felt how she watched him, taking him in. He wondered if she smelt or felt the anger rolling off of him, if she knew of the growing desire and necessity for her. She didn’t let him reply to her, merely shook her head, “it’s not a good time right now-“

“Don’t you dare-“

“I have a lot of work to catch up on,” she interrupted him. She looked to the stairs and sighed before turning back to him. “Are you free tonight? For dinner?”

His heart leaped to his throat, “yes.”

She nodded, “Nesta and Gwyn, they… they have a dinner planned tonight. You’re welcome to join.”

He deflated slightly at that, disappointed it wouldn’t be just them. Another thought struck him, however, for how would she eat if her face was covered? 

With a kindled excitement he managed to control, he nodded to her, releasing his shadows from her waist to let her go. “I’ll see you tonight.”

*ada is elvish for father in tolkien’s lotr’s lore. all credit goes to him. he is, of course, a great inspiration of mine

taglist: @lilah-asteria , @a-courtof-azriel , @honk4emoboyz , @feyretopia , @mrsjna , @buttermilktea11 , @bravo-delta-eccho , @kylieinwonderland , @adventure-awaits13 ,

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine getting Azula a present for her birthday

The first thing you noticed when your family returned to the fire nation was how serious everyone was. You’d been born in a fire nation colony so had little experience with the capital of your nation. Your parents were high born but even they’d relaxed in the colonies and allowed you to have a mostly normal life. However once Ozai declared your parent’s mission over and summoned them back to the capital that all ended. Rules patroling you seemed to spring from everywhere. Don’t wear your hair fully down, don’t meet the eye of anyone who ranks higher than you, bow from the floor to all members of the royal family...the list was endless! Due to your parent’s being very well respected you were introduced to Azula and she took you into her group. Part of you wondered if she only did it to please her father or because you were considered an oddity here in the capital but as time went on you didn’t think either was the case. Everyone here was very strict or distant and even Azula’s closest friends didn’t know her very well. Mai seemed to tolerate her mainly because of her titles and brother. Ty lee, while seemingly fond of Azula, obviously didn’t try getting closer to her than necessary. That wasn’t how friendships worked in your town and you were determined not to pick up this capital custom. So you put time and effort into all three of the girls and made progress with each. You’d go shopping with Ty lee, discuss popular and obscure theology with Mai and help Azula think through her battle strategies. Azula was the one who reacted the strongest to your attention and friendship. She began spending more time with you alone, seeking you out regularly and inviting you to events where even Mai and Ty lee weren’t permitted to go. You found yourself drawn to Azula because she seemed like the one who could most do with a friend. Mai had Zuko, Ty lee seemed content flitting from numerous different people but Azula didn’t really have anyone.

So you continued nurturing your friendship and when Azula’s birthday came around you set out to get her the most meaningful present you could to let her know she was cared for. You were very excited with your choice of present and rushed into the palace, the box you’d spent hours wrapping and unwapping until it was perfect, held tightly in your hands. “Good morning” you smiled finding Mai, Ty lee and Zuko in the royal wing. “Good morning” Ty lee beamed back but Zuko and Mai just nodded not being morning people. Mai noticed your present first. “What’s that?” she asked and you smiled “Azula’s present!”. They all looked at you confused and Zuko spoke first “why are you buying my sister a present?”. “Because it’s her birthday” you explained but that didn’t seem to help, they all still stared at you blankly. “It’s her birthday so I got her a birthday present...is that not something you do in the capital?”. “No but it sounds very sweet” Ty lee grinned. Mai shrugged “I would like presents every year just for being born but I can’t say I understand the logic”. Zuko nodded but you shrugged “ow well, hopefully Azula will enjoy it anyway”. “You’re still going to give it to her”? Zuko asked shocked and you paused “well why wouldn’t I?”. “She might think it’s weird considering you only give people presents when you’re...”. Mai hit Zuko’s arm before he could finish and shook her head. You stared confused “if you’re what?”. “It doesn’t matter” Mai said quickly “Zuko was thinking of something else, I think Azula’s in her study if you want to see her”. You frowned but Mai and Ty lee smiled at you encouragingly so you shook Zuko’s words from your mind and went to find the birthday girl. 

You knocked on Azula’s door and heard her call come in. “Happy birthday Azula!” you cried as soon as your eyes fell on her. Azula jumped vividly, the  brush she was writing with dragging messily across the page ruining her letter. “I am so sorry” you gaped “can it be saved”. “No it cannot” Azula sighed angrily “please in the future don’t scream just because it’s my birthday”. You nodded “is wishing someone a happy birthday not a thing here either?” you asked “just when I think I’m getting a handle on the capital I mess everything up”. “Birthdays are not a big deal here” Azula nodded “only important ones are given any recognition but I have heard of some places where every single birthday is celebrated. I take it your home town is one such place?”. You nodded smiling at the memory “Yes! Every year you usually have a party or do something special with the people you love most! You eat your favourite foods and someone usually makes a cake, it’s lovely”. Azula nodded her head but looked unconvinced and then her eyes fell on the box in your hand. “And what is this?”Azula asked. “A present” you smile brightly but Azula blushed and looked away for some reason. “For my birthday right?” she asked “this is one of your odd traditions nothing more?”. “Yes” you agreed unsure what else a present could mean “you also give the person whose birthday it is a present, something you think they’ll like and wrap it up nicely for them...can I give it to you?”. Azula was still red but nodded so you placed it down on the desk before stepping away. 

Azula picked it up hesitantly and undid the bow before removing the lid carefully. You watched her face excitedly for any reaction but all Azula did was stare inside. You were dying for a sign however small to know if she loved or hated it but Azula continued to stare until you thought you would burst of anticipation. When you couldn’t contain yourself any longer you sighed “so do you like it? It’s the trinket we saw in that glass store in town”. Azula nodded her head “yes I recognise it...how did you decide on this for me?”. “Well I thought I saw you admiring it when we were there because you kept staring at it but now I’m not sure if you staring at something means you love or hate it”.

Azula remembered the day a few weeks ago when you went into town together and she recalled how you’d mysteriously disappeared before reappearing minutes later. She picked up the small figurine carefully. It was a rose that fit in the palm of her hand made of different orange, red and yellow coloured glass all intricately folded together. When the light hit it looked as if it was on fire and Azula remembered thinking it looked very beautiful and she had the same thought now. 

“So...is it okay?” you asked nervously “If you don’t like it then I can always return it and get you something else?”. “No!” Azula said sharply before she composed herself and rid her face of the emotion she felt underneath. “It is a nice present, I like the colours...” she said awkwardly aware she was blushing “I will keep it, thank you”. The look on your face made Azula’s heart beat faster. You were so happy that she liked the tiny piece of glass and Azula figured if such a small thing could cause you so much happiness maybe it wasn’t such a stupid tradition after all. “I’m so glad you like it” you grinned “I was going to suggest we have a meal or something to celebrate but as that’s probably not a thing here either I’ll leave you to your work. Have a lovely birthday day Princess” you smiled and with a bow to her you disappeared.

Later

All day your gift didn’t leave Azula’s mind. Usually when you gave someone a present it meant you were interested in courting that person. For a second when you entered Azula thought that was what you intended, she thought this was your declaration before she realised what your intention’s really were. As she stared at the small rose she recalled the slight relief she felt realising you didn’t mean to court her but she also felt another feeling, larger and deeper inside herself which she refused to acknowledge. 

Azula placed the rose back in the box and got back to work. A while later a servant let her know that her father was ready for her and she prepared to meet with him. She hesitated to leave the present you gave her and frowned. She saw the servant glance at it and blushed furiously. “Tell my father I will be there soon” she commanded and he scurried away. Azula sighed and lifted the lid off the box once again. The rose was still shining beautifully and Azula hesitated before picking it up and slipping it into her pocket. 

The meeting did not go well. Ozai didn’t mention Azula’s birthday which wasn’t odd but the fact he didn’t even seem aware it was today stung a little considering a girl she knew for only 8 months did. The meeting went from bad to worse as Ozai started snapping at everyone in the room and through it all Azula gently held your rose. It was cold in her palm and she liked the coolness. She carried on with her meeting, holding the rose whenever she needed something positive to focus on, and got through the meeting. 

When Azula was finally dismissed she was relieved and felt the toll it had taken on her. She started back to her study aware she still had work to do but honestly her eyes were tired and her brain hurt. She didn’t want to do any more work and your offer suddenly came into her head. You’d mention something about food...a tradition you’d thought to try before figuring Azula wouldn't want to. Azula thought it over before she found a messenger and dispatched them to go find you.

You arrived at Azula’s apartments in the palace confused. Her note hadn’t said much just that she wanted to see you and to come quickly. So you dutifully dropped your very busy schedule (which concerned lounging and reading in the gardens) and made your way to her door. Two guards let you in and you called out for Azula. “Ah y/n” a voice replied and you turned to see Azula descending the stairs. “Azula” you smiled before remembering the note “is everything okay? Your note just said to come here”. “Everything is fine” Azula assured you “I just...thought we could entertain that custom of yours”. “The meal?” you asked excitedly. Azula nodded looking away to disguise her blush “exactly, what must we do?”. You laughed “we don’t have to attack it like a battle! I have everything planned, I’d already gotten the picnic ready and I still have the spot in the gardens although I do need to decorate it and call the others...if you give me an hour I will have everything ready!”. Azula nodded “that is fine” and with a smile you rushed for the door. Before you could disappear Azula called out to you “ow and y/n there’s no need to disturb the others i’m sure they’re too busy on such short notice”. You paused “are you sure? You’re their friend so i’m sure they’d happily drop whatever they were doing to celebrate your birthday, I mean it only happens once a year”. Azula smiled at the sentiment but shook her head “somehow I doubt they’ll think that way but it doesn’t matter, I will be happy with just the two of us”. Now it was your turn to blush. You nodded and bowed slightly “of course princess” and left the room. 

An hour later Azula made her way to the gardens, following the instructions you’d sent her. She usually avoided the gardens for obvious reasons but she was hoping you’d give her a good memory in the place her mother cherished. You’d said to follow the yellow flowers and so Azula did that until she saw a raised area. There was a small platform with food all arranged along a small table. A small cake perched in the centre with the words “Happy Birthday Azula” frosted on the top. Lanterns hung around the platform and lines of colourful fabric hung from the ceiling of the structure. Cushions were placed on the floor in a seating area and the whole area looked very inviting even if it wasn’t very fire nation. Azula took in the scene for a few seconds before she realised you were there. You were muttering about something as you re-arranged some of the decorations your back to her. “Y/n” she called and you jumped “Azula! I promise I’m almost done I was just trying to work out where to place the balloons”. Azula smiled “there’s balloons too?” looking at the sea of decorations all over the small structure. You paused “why is it too much?”. Azula stepped through the doorway and saw due to the streams of decorations you were practically hidden away from the rest of the garden. Azula liked that idea and surveyed the rest of the platform. The lanterns made the light that passed through them change colour and they chimed nicely in the breeze. The food looked and smelled delicious and the cushions looked very comfortable. “No this is just perfect” Azula smiled. You beamed at her happily and squeezed her arm “I’m so happy you like it! You deserve a special day”. Azula blushed and wasn’t sure how to respond to something like that, especially while you were staring at her just inches away. So Azula just avoided the topic. 

“Shall we begin?” she asked and you nodded. You placed a selection of all the foods (which were all Azula’s favourites of course) on a plate and passed it her before doing the same for yourself. You joined her on the cushions and smiled “so! How was your birthday? What made you decide to indulge me?”. Azula looked down at her food “it was fine...I had a really long war meeting and honestly the thought of doing more work after it was not appealing, so I contacted you. I know it’s not ideal, a whole evening wasted on being frivolous but there’s nothing to do about it now. I’ll just work extra hard tomorrow”. You frowned before looking up at her “it’s your birthday so I think you’re allowed to have a more chilled day just enjoying yourself. Plus you already work so hard anyway, if anyone deserves a rest it’s you”. “Yes but I work hard for a reason, you don’t become the best by being lazy”. You nodded “yes but you’re already the best!” you grinned “so sit back and relax for one evening. The world will still be waiting for you to conquer it tomorrow”. You nudged her shoulder and despite your words going against everything she’d been taught Azula found herself smiling “okay”. 

The two of you chatted while you ate and when you finished you began cutting Azula a piece of cake. She watched the concentration clearly etched on your face fondly. You passed Azula the piece and she took a bite cautiously but she had no reason to. It was wonderful. “This is rather nice y/n what type of cake is it?”. You smiled “it’s based off a red velvet cake because you know fire nation but I also added some spice because I know you like it”. “You made this?” Azula cried and you nodded “yes but it was no bother...i’m just glad you like it”. “I do” Azula agreed “I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this silly custom of yours. It is nice to be spoiled”. You nodded grinning “it is! My birthday is in January just so you know”. Azula froze at the thought of having to plan something like this for you when you laughed “don’t worry I was joking, you don’t have to do anything for me”. “Well I doubt I’d be able to match this” Azula said gesturing around her “but I will remember, you have my word”. You smiled blushing but didn’t break your eyes away from her “thank you Azula, I’m really glad I met you”. Azula went red matching you and nodded her head “I am too...although I should be going soon. I have a meeting early tomorrow morning”. You nodded standing “of course, would you like me to walk you back to your room?”. Azula shook her head “that is fine thank you y/n...do you need any help with all the decorations?” she asked hesitantly. You shook your head “no it’s fine, the decorations will take 5 minutes to pack away and i’ll take the spare food to the kitchen...the only thing is the cake, would you like to take it or would you like me to?”. Azula eyed the cake remembering the delicious taste and nodded “I will take it with me”. You packaged it up for her and smiled “well I hope you’ve had a nice birthday”. “I have thank you” Azula nodded “now I must be going”. You nodded and waved as Azula left the gardens. 

Azula walked through the palace to her room your cake in her hands and she felt proud. Her friend had made this to celebrate her birthday. She hadn’t asked you to, you did it because you wanted to do it for her, because you cared for her. Azula stepped inside her room and looked about her. She couldn’t help but realise after all the colourful decorations you’d used just how dull her room was. Despite all of the finery none of the room was really hers. None of the pieces had been bought just for her, they were all things passed down for generations. Azula placed your cake on a table and took your present out of her pocket, running her hand over it softly. Nobody had ever bought her something just because they wanted her to be happy. Azula wondered where to place your present. She didn’t want it out in the open where anyone could see or break it. She couldn’t find anywhere suitable so she changed and got into bed still undecided. She toyed with the figurine remembering the way you’d smiled when she said she liked it. Now safely in her own room alone she recognised she’d been slightly disappointed this was a token of friendship and nothing else. She enjoyed having your attention and liked you most out of all her friends but in a very different way. Still, even if this wasn’t a romantic gesture it was still a gesture of love and such an open un-fire nation one. 

Azula smiled to herself before placing the rose under her pillow where she could hide it but also keep it close to her while she slept. “What a strange day” she muttered to herself but she knew it hadn’t actually been strange, it had been the best birthday she could remember having and it was all because of you.   

___

I’m constantly sad Azula never had anyone really love and care for her like Zuko did, she deserved better. But even if someone had shown her affection, based on her sad upbringing, I feel like Azula wouldn’t know how to respond to it because she’s never been shown what love is so I want to shower her in it!!  Hence this story :)

[boundinparchment]

Dream a Little Dream of Me - LIII

Celestia had a cruel sense of humor. He knew this, even before his days as a student. But to be given a soulmate? Now, when he openly blasphemed against the cursed island in the sky? He would outlive you and the dreadful fated bond that haunted your shared dreams. There was little point in this. He could at least put a Vision to good use. People were nothing but disappointments. He had no use for you. Until you pulled the bow across your instrument and awoke a part of him long buried by self-hatred and arrogance. Soulmate AU; Il Dottore/Female reader w/ established personality and backstory. Slow burn. Lore and world speculation and interpretation within; follows canon story where possible. Fic is rated explicit; MDNI. Mind the tags. Chapter on AO3 here.

With your first draft finished in its entirety, you delved into edits and adjustments as rehearsals picked up.  At times, you wished you had the talent for brass instruments and percussion if only to spare the sections from the agony of enduring minute changes that stemmed from a small voice of uncertainty.  It was not the way it should have been done (especially with such a tight schedule) but there was little choice. 

The Tsaritsa offered up a challenge and you could not back out now.

Doubly so when, one day, a box arrived with your name on it with fabric samples and an appointment card with the Archon’s own seamstress.

Thankfully, the fitting and sketching was already behind you and you only needed to manage a final session.  You couldn’t afford the distractions.

Even if it was shaping up to be a perfect dress.

The offer for assistance from the Tsaritsa went well beyond your outfit.  You returned to your rooms before dinner one day to find a handmaiden and a private guard being interrogated by Zandik; behind them, several open velvet boxes with jewels and precious metals spilling out across your coffee table.  Said boxes were packed up before you could even put your things down.

Zandik knew your question, in the way one knew how their lover took their tea.   There laid the fulcrum that balanced you ever since you awoke: you were synced, whether you were cognizant of it or not.

“Her generosity is kind but it is not her place to decide what jewels you wear.  I will not have you weighed down by additional…expectations,” he said when you settled in.

You nodded, appreciative of his lack of further explanation; you would have done the same, been protective of his time and energy.

It was one thing for the Tsaritsa to help with your dress when you had never been to an event of this scale before (and certainly never in such a capacity, attending alongside a high-ranking official and composing the opening music).  While accessories might fall under the purview of your evening attire, they came at a cost that only raised the stakes.  And you already had enough to lose.

“What, would she ask for our first-born child if I accepted that collar of aquamarines, Zandik?” you teased as you leafed through recent correspondence.

When you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, mask absent, you couldn’t help but smile at the pink that tinted his ears.  He had been in the middle of removing his own mask and his crimson eyes lingered on your form, brow twitching.

Between your own career and Zandik’s position, both as a diplomat and the one responsible for finding a means to unite the Descender remains to confront Celestia, it was difficult to ascertain anything past the notion of surviving whatever fallout would occur.

And while one could account for possibilities, Zandik often said, one must be prepared for the most logical ones.

“She might.  Or she might ask for you if she were dissatisfied in the progress with Celestia.”

His eyes locked on yours and the pink only grew worse.  It reached his cheeks before he grimaced slightly, tugging at his cravat as he walked away towards the bedroom.  He paused as if contemplating, and then looked over his shoulder, expression softer.

“Either one I would prefer to never experience.  Best to return all unexpected packages until further notice.”

The future wasn’t something you often joked about, really discussed outside of immediate goals.  Some days it never felt quite within reach, amorphous and haunting, trailing behind you like a shadow at sunset.  Other moments, like now, it was tangible, found in carefully written notes and shared glances and laughs. 

Accessible only in this room, this little bubble of your own making.

If there was a sole benefit to visiting Northland Bank to meet with Lord Pantalone, rather than at the Palace, it was that the building was on the way to rehearsals. 

You waited in the private guest area, tea untouched and cloak falling around you like a protective shroud.  Despite your guard, you had little reason to trust anything served to you in the Regrator’s domain ever since your last encounter.  Not to mention, you weren’t thirsty and would find better tea waiting for you at the performance hall, brewed under supervision.

The pair of double doors opened, a black hand hovering on the knob as its owner turned back to speak.  All you caught was mention of someone being unable to join for the foreseeable future, the voice distinctly feminine and with a familiar Fontainian lilt.

You angled your head slightly to get a better glimpse.  Black and white hair, arranged over her face like the wings of a bird, white tailcoat with a shining red brooch.  Eyes that, instead of pupils, were marked by red eyes met yours.

The one who came and pulled Columbina away, so long ago.  Your stomach sank.  The last thing she ever said to you rang in your ears as you bowed and received the gesture in return.

Something you were still getting used to and you doubt you ever would entirely. 

“How good to see you again, maestra.  I often hear you but never see you.  Surely our Doctor is not attempting to keep you from the world?”

“No, my lord; if anything, he ensures I see more of it,” you extended a hand out of the confines of your cloak, palm up, as you gestured to her presence as a case-in-point.  “Congratulations on your success.”

“It doesn’t come close to that of your companion’s but at least I didn’t need two of me to accomplish it.”

The words felt like fine sandpaper across your skin; only abrasive in their smaller details.  Such sentiments were not unfamiliar, both in your new home and from your previous experiences.

“There were two Gnoses.  His approach simply allowed him to go after both.”

“And yet an argument has been made from several parties that your presence is the true success.  It isn’t every day the Doctor leaves and returns with company that is essentially equal to him, shares his quarters, has audiences with Her Majesty.”

You trained your eyes on the Knave.  She knew, all those months ago, that you were far more skilled with another instrument.  It did not take a carefully discerning ear to notice it, granted, but the thought teased your brain more often than you wished it did.

Soon enough, the truth would spill out anyway just by sheer proximity and educated guesses.

“And what side do you usually take, my lord?” you replied, tilting your head with a small smile.

“That it’s about time the deranged scientist pulled himself out of his lab every once in a while,” Arlecchino replied, lips quirked as she pressed a sharp nail to her lips.

The door behind her opened and before the topic could continue, the Knave crossed her arms, hands cradling her elbows.  Pantalone loomed behind her, golden eyes narrowed behind his glasses.

“I would be honored if you would join me for tea next week, if you’re available, maestra,” Arlecchino said.    “While many parts of Snezhnayan culture and social structure are similar enough, I’m sure you feel the sense of…isolation that comes with the adjustment.  One fellow Fontainian to another.  And I would be remiss if you were not filled in on other details regarding the events that transpired during my visit.”

She turned her head over her shoulder and regarded the other Harbinger.  “Regrator.”

“The steps outside are slippery.  Do be careful, Arlecchino.”

The honeyed tone did nothing to diffuse the moment and you kept your expression neutral.  From what you recalled, Arlecchino was the one of higher rank and therefore held the most authority.  But by attempting to extend an olive branch, or the appearance of one, to get the final word, Pantalone attempted to usurp even the subtle social differences.

Pantalone’s eyes closed when he turned his head back to you and received that sickeningly sweet smile.  All you were here for was to provide an update on your progress.  Not everything could be summarized easily within a written report and Pantalone did prefer a hands-on approach to his event planning.

“Do come in, maestra.  I doubt this will take long.”

Over the next couple of weeks, you continued to refine each section’s part during lessons, smoothing out player mistakes with the finished composition.  You were learning how it sounded piece by piece, understanding how each fit within the whole during a weekly group practice. 

Some days, you preferred to think your perspective and experience being in the chairs helped, that it lent itself to an understanding between all of you.  It got you through the moments of frustration, of nerves snapping, of personal sentiments laid bare.  An inevitability.  Working so closely with this many people, no one was alike. 

A rare few were more than happy to tell you off and walk away.  You let them.  They always came back and occasionally were willing to talk afterwards.  You heard of stories of the House of the Hearth, parents with sharp tongues and deep pockets, twisted versions of the Heavenly Principle that made your blood curdle.  Fontaine had been terrible but there was a purposeful cruelty to what they recounted. 

Passion and skill made for good performances but did not mean a willing presence. 

More than once, you caught spines straightening at Pantalone’s unexpected presence every so often.  For a Harbinger of the lowest rank you ever interacted with, he seemed to carry fear itself in his walking stick.

It was a balance, one you weren’t sure if you liked, but one you knew how to navigate.

Columbina was the only other Harbinger to occasionally come by or accompany you in a capacity that was not meant to terrify (or so she claimed).  She would dance in the center aisle by herself while you conducted, her hair trailing behind her and her limbs moving in ways that made you recall the most avant garde dance instructors in Fontaine.  You didn’t see it as a distraction; in fact, it made for good practice for those who were strictly used to stage performance, where they did not have a moving environment. 

Today was one of those frustrating days.  You could see it on everyone’s faces, in the way some stretched their fingers and rolled their necks.

The Third was, instead of in the aisle, hovering near you towards the front of the stage.  You were briefly aware of her shuffling papers around at the table you used for your things.  She was generally unable to sit still, like a bird next to an open window, or a loose piece of paper waiting to be caught by the wind.  As you started the movement and gestured for the first note and then the second, the movements for the time signature so ingrained in you that you no doubt did them in your sleep, you listened for the progression of instruments, the depth and fullness growing with every bar. 

The brass kept the rhythm more than the percussion, the woodwinds were light and lilting.  You swore you were hearing an echo of a harmony, timed perfectly.  But you hadn’t written one, not there.

Where was that strange sound coming from?  It sounded like it was coming from your left…

Thankful for the wide peripheral vision, you glanced at Columbina to find her mouth open, chest rising sharply as she inhaled.  She was perfectly on key, weaving her notes in-between the bouncing one-two-three as if she herself was dancing.  You continued conducting, listening for any inconsistencies, only to find everyone remained on beat and on key, undeterred by the addition.  A rich melancholy filled the air and when you finally closed out the last bar, the silence hung, a welcome companion.

There had been something missing, hadn’t there?  You’d written most of the waltz in a minor key, befitting of a land that always seemed to feel a little off in its love or lackthereof.  But parts of it felt hollow, incomplete. 

You hadn’t noticed until Columbina joined in and you were thankful for her presence.  It only made sense to have a few vocals.  A unique, unsettling sound, reflective of the Tsaritsa’s Will…

A smile crept over your lips as you rolled the conducting baton between your fingers. 

“Could you do that again, Damselette?  Center stage and a little more vibrato this time?”

She didn’t move immediately, throwing you an enigmatic twitch of the mouth.

“With pleasure.”

[chodzacaparodia]

I have more thoughts on bllk and Isagi soo It was cool in the start because Isagi was like one of the worst players and we could see how he evolves and that was interesting and weren't boring hearing his inner monologues I guess? And the others all seemed impressive from his perspective lmao But now he acts like a main boss of something and a prodigy who has lots of skills and actually acts a bit rude towards others? (here comes the personal taste that one can just not like his personality I guess) but he like turned to a prodigy whom he admired and win against in the first half and now those are the ones trying to beat him but Isagi is the main characters so kinda these evolve around him which is unfortunate for the ones who don't like his character Soo I kinda mean that we could try to bring back Isagi not being too good? and now he could actually lose (like he can I guess bc he already win a lot and evolved so it's not like it'd be over just for him to get less op and the others could catch up too, because the power scales and balanced really shifted from him needing to beat someone to others needing to beat him which is quite an interesting development of events and a lot has a more tragic past than him now give them a win pls (this is just some personal thoughts I came up with they might not be full correct so my apologise)

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

I understand your point of view because in many respects I agree. I admit that it was interesting that he started to develop from an average player into one of the best. His internal monologues were also completely different, because not only did he surprise others, but he was also often surprised himself when he noticed complete things and analyzed them.

I like that you wrote that Isagi turned out to be a prodigy. Because that's the truth. He was a prodigy from the beginning, but before Blue Lock he never had the opportunity to discover it. It's not that I don't think he hasn't developed as a result of hard work and training, but his greatest strengths are actually related to his way of thinking and his special ability to analyze, something that not every character is gifted with and is unlikely to practice because it happens rather automatically.

As the story progressed, Isagi actually became overconfident. (Yeah, totally like a main boss!) And that's why he actually started to think that he was better than others (actually I did a meme about it ). And I must admit that it irritates me a bit. Surprisingly, this didn't irritate me with characters like Barou or Rin. Maybe it's because we get to know them as characters who feel better than others. And Isagi went from a guy with low self-esteem to a guy with a bit of a God complex. From extreme to extreme.

And in fact, he behaves rudely towards others. It seems even more visible because he was a really nice guy from the very beginning! But honestly, I think it's not just a matter of him feeling better than others (but I think that's largely the case). Isagi blended in with the Blue Lock's atmosphere. He was constantly exposed to people who treated others in the same way (including Isagi), so I'm not surprised that such behavior influenced him and he adopted it as well.

(And it must be really irritating when someone you don't like makes you grow. Typical bllk experience).

Honestly, I wish he would lose and humble himself a bit. I want absolute destruction. After all, the higher a person rises, the more painful the fall. And logically, sooner or later Isagi has to lose, because you can't always win. However, I'm not sure Isagi can return to that level as before (I'm not talking about the level from the very beginning, because he will never return to this times, but maybe more to the level from the 3rd or even 2nd selection). He's gone too far with all this. After his defeat, he would definitely go through a worse time, but would he actually become more humble? Would he have completely despaired of his abilities? Would he feel inferior to someone else? It's possible, but I think it's more likely that it will be just an episode rather than a longer streak of self-doubt. This will be seen from the outside more as "His rival was better" than "Isagi wasn't good enough".

But deep down, I really want the character I like more than Isagi to win. I admit that I often let my thoughts go in the direction of "this character has a traumatic past, he deserves to win as compensation". But in my head there is always the thought that Blue Lock was a manga unlike any other from the very beginning. Such issues really don't matter there. On the field, no one cares about the characters' traumatic pasts. All that matters is being the best and striving for a goal without any scruples or moral compass. And as interesting as it was (I would REALLY like to see it), even though the other characters theoretically deserved their victory more. A character doesn't have to have a tragic backstory (like Isagi) to win. They just has to be the best.

(I'm sorry if this wasn't the answer you were expecting! I didn't know how to respond to this and I thought for a long time, but in the end I let the discussion carry me away and referred to some of your thoughts and added my own, not necessarily related to your statement. I really don't know what and why I wrote all this 🙈).

[charles-leclerc-official]

hi!! New fan here, i was wondering, how do you know which stats and data to look for in terms of fairly comparing the performances of drivers? and just in general tips on race analysis :') like figuring out if they did the right strategy, the data you need to look for, anything else you find significant? thank you so much! i'd like to be more objective tbh bc the emotions are vv strong during a race and they tend to overpower my rational side.

Well there is a lot that can go into this. Some of it is very much a learned skill that you get better at over time.

General good rules of thumb for comparison and analysis:

1.The same car/teammates: comparing teammates is usually very helpful in understanding a car and also where the two drivers differ. Since they are in the same machinery we can see what some general characteristics are of a specific car. And then we can also see where there are differences that can be attributed to a driver specifically. Comparing teammates is always useful, and helpful in understanding a team overall because you know that team is constantly comparing their driver's performances.

2. Max(or whoever is the current #1): having Max as a benchmark of the current top driver is always helpful because he's obviously the one to beat. Also since he is so good he delivers amazing data on tracks. So if I want to see where the SF-24 or Charles need to improve comparing to Max is a good way to do it. It would not be as helpful to compare Charles to say Fernando, who while a great driver, the car he's in and his standing right now just isn't going to offer many valuable insights.

3. Race strategy: this is a very complicated topic, it is way more like chess than people realize. Seeing who starts where, the places they can likely gain from there, the timing that needs to happen to gain those places etc. Those are all factors. You really get a sense of it after you watch for a while. This is an extremely complex area that is a constantly evolving logic problem (which is why teams are so focused during races) This is the area where I have the fewest tips because it is really one of those things that just comes from experience and observation. One thing to do would be read interviews about what your team is saying about their strategy and the thinking that went into it. Spatial reasoning and logic are a big part of race strategy, and then once the lights go out those things get affected by time and random events (ex a driver DNFing) So race strategy is a combination of spatial logic and being able to do it dynamically as time progresses over a race. So thinking of it like chess that changes every lap is a good way to think about it.

4. Race specific battles: pay attention during races who is really battling (ex Lewis and Oscar in Jeddah, or Lando and Carlos in Suzuka or Lando and Charles in Melbourne) then you can look at the data for some insights into why the battle played out the way it did. Another example would be if you wanted to understand why Mclaren made Oscar and Lando switch in Australia, you can go look at the data and the answer it pretty clear. So these kinds of comparisons can give a lot of insight into why a team made certain strategy calls.

5. DRS: DRS is always something I look at when talking about speed, because while it's great for speed it's more of a luck right place at the right time thing, and so if I want to be fair in pace or speed comparisons I try to find laps where either both drivers got DRS or neither did (sometimes this isn't possible but it's a good factor to keep in mind)

6. Same tyres: comparing pace and speed on tyres it's important to keep the compound in mind. Comparing a fast lap one driver did on a medium tyre to one another driver did on hards isn't really in good faith. Now sometimes doing cross compound comparison can be useful, (ex a driver setting the same times on hards as another driver on mediums is interesting and worth digging into) But if you are wanting to do a direct comparison and want to eliminate this as a variable always compare on the same compound (sometimes this isn't possible so keep that in mind) Comparing across compounds is helpful too, but you should be very clear about why and the logic behind it.

7. Field placement: Comparing a midfield car to a top car isn't super helpful. Max isn't Logan's competition, other midfield drivers are Logan's competition. So it's important to look at who is actually competing with who. You could do a Logan to Max comparison but it likely wouldn't offer much insight into either drivers' strengths or weaknesses. Comparing Logan to Alex(his teammate) or Zhou(someone else in the midfield) is going to be way more useful.

8. Weather/Temperature: this can be a massive compounding factor for performance and should always be considered. Was it raining? Was it windy? Was there notable heat? How was that affecting drivers? etc

9. Mechanical issues: always note them and take them into account, this sounds like a no-brainer but not everyone does this and it leads to a lot of bad faith representations of a driver or a race.

10. Team Radio: if you want to understand what a driver and a team were thinking during the race and want answers for why things played out the way they did (good or bad) then team radio usually has a lot of answers. A good example of this would be listening to Charles' radios in Suzuka, you can listen to him talking about which strategy to go with and then the team figuring that out with him. Radios are very informative. I always listen to Charles', so if you have a driver/team you are focused on I highly recommend doing that.

11. Sometimes there is no way to do a fair comparison: this is something that is important to keep in mind(and again a lot of people forget this). For example in Bahrain when Charles had that massive brake temperature imbalance issue, no one else had it. So we cannot really compare his pace or performance to anyone and account for that. We can still compare his say fastest lap to Carlos' to see what he was able to do in less than optimal circumstances. But this is another very important thing to remember. Sometimes conditions do not allow for a totally fair comparison, and that is always worth noting. This is a very important fallacy to be aware of, and it's a trap a lot of people fall into, making it appear as though there is a fair comparison in a situation when there is not. So always keep this in mind. Sometimes the fact no fair comparison can be made is informative in itself.

A lot of analysis is also what I feel like just falls under plain old common sense and logical reasoning. Races are big logical puzzles, so just like with any logic based game it takes practice to get the hang of it. This just comes with watching races and paying attention to the details.

Also analysis doesn't get rid of the emotional reactions(at least not for me) I watch live and have all kinds of emotions. I just do that in private and wait to look at the data. And that is totally normal for the record. This is why I recommend re-watching a race for analysis for 2 reasons. 1. You will probably catch a lot of things you didn't notice the first time, and 2. You won't be as emotional and will probably be able to view what happened more objectively.

Hopefully this answers your question <3

[horizon-verizon]

The way TG want to pretend Book Alicent isn’t an evil and repugnant hag is going to drive me INSANE.

In Fire & Blood, when Alicent marries Viserys, Alicent is 18 and Rhaenyra is 9.

By the time Rhaenyra is 13 and Alicent has birthed two sons, Alicent is already spreading harmful and disgusting rumors about Rhaenyra’s “promiscuity”. This is a woman in her mid-20s maligning, slut shaming and sexualizing an orphan girl who’s still in middle school, all to advance her incompetent sons in the line of succession. Criston Cole is 15 years older than Rhaenyra, he became her sworn protector when she was 7 and accompanied her ever since, Alicent is literally mocking and blaming a victim of sexual grooming.

The same Alicent who laughed when she heard about the sack of Tumbleton where little girls and women were raped hundreds times and septas were chased naked through the streets and gang raped by a hundred men.

Just as Aegon II was starting to think about folding it, in the face of oncoming and angry Rhaenyra loyalists, on the recommendation that Prince Aegon would likely just send him to The Wall, it’s Alicent who pipes up with her suggestion that he instead start slicing his 10 years-old nephew to pieces as a warning.

After Aegon III becomes king, Alicent snatches a dagger from a guardsman in an attempt to murder him.

Her urging her granddaughter Jaehaera to slit her husband and cousin, Aegon III’s throat in his sleep traumatized the girl so badly that Aegon’s regents forbade Alicent from ever interacting with Jaehaera again.

It’s clear that Alicent stans can’t separate the character from the actress who plays her. Before HOTD aired, absolutely no one thought Alicent was anything but an awful and abusive stepmother. The parasocial relationship with Olivia is so creepy and disturbing.

Giving Alicent the benefit of the doubt, it's possible that she at least showed much more restraint and never said what it told to be her laughing at the Tumbleton thing, or whatever she said twisted to make her seem worse. I do believe that she said Rhaenyra should have died in childbirth. Why this and not the other? Because wants her side to look as good as possible, and laughing at a MASS terror event is simply not equal to wishing death on a singular enemy. Plus, as a woman, blatant desires or approval for violence in war doesn't go down as well as a woman hating another women for men, even though the latter troubles them if they are directly witnessing that.

But who knows, she may have developed some feelings of regret ever since Lucerys' death and how it went down--bc it's kinslaying and she's ult religious, doesn't want her kids committing blatant sins esp when they are trying to make them all look better than Rhaenyra.

As for Alicent urging and Aegon "folding":

Yes he considered folding, but logically Alicent was in the right to point out that he'd never be truly safe under Aegon III after killing Rhaenyra the way he did and in front of the traumatized boy...whether Alicent is evil or not, this is out of her control and she decided to suggest what she thought would preserve her son's life in perpetuity. Again, I am not saying she is being morally correct or that none of this wasn't partly her fault in the first place or that we shouldn't criticize her greed. I am saying that before we chalk up her suggestions as just malicious or flattingly evil here (before we get to Jaehaera), there is this particular element of her seeing the blatant flaw in Aegon's hope and trying to preemptively preserve his life in lieu of all her children else has died and gone...nothing like show!Alicent. Aegon was stupid-desperate and she always wanted and acted to preserve his life and get him the throne based on her perception of his right to it.

The rest of what you say, yeah, evil, no two tones about it. I want to add, though, that this feels like a deliberate progression into her doing as she does post-Dance against Aegon III; before Rhaenyra's death, she was relatively restrained and deliberate in her actions and even took care to protect the city from the blacks by ways that if there hadn't been dragons she had a chance of succeeding. However, you can see a difference b/t her at the council & when Rhaenyra touches down at the Castle vs her really dumb "bastard blood shed at war" attempt at negotiation vs Aegons return vs her reaction to Helaena's death vs her post-Dance actions. Pattern here is she gets progressively more ruthless or at least takes less pains to disguise it or beat around the bush and it's bc she feels herself slowly losing her kids and reacts by becoming even more determined to secure the throne for Aegon, bc then he'd/she'd have the highest authority and be less vulnerable. Kinda the only way through is up sorta thing and it resembles a sunk-cost fallacy except no bc she'd be right that they need to win in order to finally be "safe".

Again, I don't like her and I don't feel bad for her, but she's not out here just trying to destroy Rhaenyra for the fun of it--though I am sure this fuels and inspires much of her actions in lieu of her offense at her not reaping the "promised" benefits of birthing a prince/another woman having what she'd have. She is going by her twisted values and eventually wants to also protect her kids and the "ratio" of that at any given time is pretty negligible in the very beginning, as we don't really know, too, how much she truly believes Daemon would murder her kids--either covertly or overtly.

Finally, when all her kids are gone, she's willing to potentially sacrifice her granddaughter to destroy the "carrier" of how those kids died in the war's duration, projecting her regrets and making it everyone else's problem--her final "unraveling". For her, she's willing to do this to her granddaughter even though she loved her kids simply bc she couldn't live with her own regrets. And girls are more disposable in the value system most of them had, esp with Jaehaera having disabilities--perhaps a "she's going to suffer anyway", and she rationalized that Jaehaera would be always spared from certain death for Aegon's murder bc she is so feeble and a child.

So there's an interesting progression here in Alicent's psyche that belies the thought of her having simple malice against the blacks.

[not-that-n]

I read like all of Sleepless Domain yesterday and it was pretty good, its one of those stories that I know will really resonate with some people even though it didn't with me. Don't take that comment wrong, I think the comic is great and has some pretty amazing ideas, I love the world it presents and I love how the characters inside it act in relation to that.

I like all those things about magical girls being celebrities and how that's a purposeful way of making the concept feel more abstract and surreal to the average public so that girls don't hesitate to participate in such a life threatening job and how the general culture of the place sees magical girls and their organization, but I think the most compelling aspect of the comic was how different circumstances, mainly the presence of a support group, affect two people that went through the same tragedy.

If this sounds interesting to you, please go read it, it is a pretty good story that I know will resonate with some people incredibly deeply. That said, beware spoilers below

Tessa if my favorite part of the comic because of how that character reflects Undine's situation. While Undine still is hurting the loss of her three friends she takes action, while shy she still tries to better herself, to make new friends, to make new relations and get help, it is stated that she goes to therapy something that seems, well, logical considering what she goes through but outside of that she shows progress in trying to move on from this tragedy. She keeps hidden a lot because, well, of course she does, talking about such a traumatic event is incredibly hard specially if you think that opening up might put your friends in danger, but even though she is scared of this, she does open up, to Kokoro and then to her other, new friends. She is afraid but she works to Kokoro, she accepts her proposal to participate in the training club, she is afraid but she makes new friendships.

Its also important to mention Kokoro and just how much I like her as a character, originally I thought she was just too emotionally intelligent and that it made Undine's journey a bit more plain but that's kinda the point. Kokoro's character is about how a single person can change someone's life for the better through kind acts. She does struggle like everyone does, she is insecure and she went too through a great loss. She keeps somethings bottled up because she is afraid of making things about herself, of being annoying to the people she wants to help. But she still opens up to Undine, afraid of course but she does it. She makes the club a friend group and everyone ( except one character ) is better for it. Kokoro made the club a support network for everybody involved and that's incredibly cute and heartwarming, this one person made the world such a better place for most of her friends as a result of being so kind.

Then, as a parallel, you have Tessa's story. Instead of, like Undine, trying to get help and establish new relations and a support group, Tessa isolates herself, not letting herself move from that tragedy. She makes new friends, Rue (I won't talk about Rue much but she is amazing) and the whiteboy she likes (I forgot his name lmao) but never really opens to them, every time someone tries to get closer or make a friendship with her, she runs away and even with Rue, someone she actually used to hang out quite a lot and were friends if not really close, she still keeps at an arms length, never talking about her issues, never opening up. When Rue attempts to get closer, Tessa ends up hurting her, saying some (in universe) horrible things to say and breaking that friendship, she is constantly avoiding Undine, not answering and purposefully calling at a time she knows she won't be at home, and when they meet up again she is distant, not opening up, waiting until she goes away to showcase any feelings of discomfort as showcased by the comic panels only beginning to shatter when Tessa is alone.

And I find this such an interesting juxtaposition of characters because Undine tries to move on, she does feel horrible about it, saying that she feels like things are finally becoming normal when after such a tragedy things should never feel that way, she like Tessa feels like she shouldn't be moving from that moment of loss, that doing such isn't grieving correctly her friends. But unlike Tessa she doesn't let those feelings win mainly because when she doubts, Kokoro is in there to help her, to lift her up, to be the shoulder to cry on. While Tessa just goes to the cemetery every day, never opening up, lying to people about her situation and just further isolating herself.

When Rue, after all that happens, still tries to do the right thing, recognizing both that there's no excuse for Tessa treating her that way but that she is going through something incredibly hard, and asks her if she is ok, asks her, in a way, to open up about her feeling so she could help, Tessa again says no, she says that she is fine and only wanted to be alone in that moment, that she didn't mean what she said. Something that actually might not be completely bullshit, she probably never doubted Rue's magical girl ability and wanted to be alone, to isolate herself even more, and just said that so Rue couldn't get closer, and I find interesting that Tessa, in a way, said the truth to justify the pretty obvious lie that she is ok.

I just really love this, presenting two different, opposite outcomes of how people deal with tragedy makes both stories feel both more heartwarming and more tragic, when you read about Tessa you remember Undine's story and, knowing that Tessa could be going through that, it feels like adding salt to the wound because you know she can be in a better place, and while reading Undine's story you always have Tessa's on the back of your mind, feeling more heartwarming because you know how her friends helped her and what would happened if they didn't.

[acourtofthought]

1) stop spoiling HOFAS. Jesus Christ.

2) the Bryceriel ship went up against a pre-existing relationship where the two characters (Bryce and Hunt) actually have feelings for each other, and actually like spending time with each other as both friends and lovers. You know, all the things Elain and Lucien canonically have no current signs of.

3) Lucien having a sad backstory doesn’t entitle him to Elain’s affections or love. It’s not about what he needs, or what the fandom thinks Elain needs (e.g. she needs to accept the mating bond, or she needs sunshine, or she needs to leave the Night Court), it’s about what Elain wants. And all signs (over 4 whole books now) suggest that’s not Lucien. It’s Azriel. And Elain is a seer - I’m trusting her judgement on this one.

4) I wouldn’t be so content to mock other people’s ships when you yourself have spent every. single. day. of the past 2-3 years going on and on about how Elucien is endgame, and that you know better than everyone else on the matter. You could be wrong too, you know?

Stop spoiling HOFAS?

You mean stop writing "Post contains HOFAS spoilers" followed by a Keep Reading button which hides the rest because you're the (insert choice word here) who chooses to continue reading the post when you're trying to avoid spoilers? Also, if you're the one who keeps using proof of a tainted Elucien bond because of the Cauldron then NEWS FLASH, you are already reading spoilers because that's a bullshit E/riel theory that they've suddenly come up with the leak of HOFAS. And...feel free to BLOCK my account if what I post is bothering you so much. I'm not sure why you're so desperate to keep my blog visible when it upsets you to this degree.

2. My point was that Bryce / Az shippers were convinced that because Hunt and Bryce's bond was described different than other ships, it had to be fake and Bryce's real mate was Az. Just like E/riels have a million and one theories for why the Elucien bond isn't real. But just as it was proven that Bryce and Hunts bond was the real deal regardless of it's differences to other bonds in description, Elucien's bond is the real deal too. Just like Feysand, just like Nessian. You still have absolutely NO PROOF that it was manipulated in any way especially when there are multiple examples in the ACOTAR series and CC3 explaining that when a bond snaps, it can be scented. Not just when it's accepted. 3. Lucien doesn't deserve Elain because of his tragic backstory but from a logical literary standpoint, authors do not write the progression of events that SJM has written for Lucien only to have his mate reject him in the end. The author chose to write it into her book that they are mates, has written him to be entirely respectful to the gift they share, and continues hitting us over the head with their compatibility. Elain is not real, you do know that, correct? It's not about what Elain wants but what the author wants for her. Nesta WANTED to drink and fuck random fae. Was that the best thing for her? Or did the author want better for her? So just because Elain wanted to hook up with Az doesn't meant that decision is being made for the right reasons or what Elain actually wants long term. I think it's a RIOT that you think Elain wanting to have a hook up with Az while refusing to reject her bond is a bigger clue to her future story than things like Elain always being by the sunniest window, that Elain wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of the NC....it sucked the life from her, that SPRING had been made for someone like Elain, that Elain's scent was a promise of Spring. Oh, you mean the Seer powers Elain confirms she hasn't used? That her good boy Az hasn't offered to help her with? Yeah, great call banking her entire future on those powers. Seriously, step away from your ship for half a minute and pay attention to the fucking book outside of the Az and Elain moments. 4. I'm sorry. If I actually knew who you were and I looked at your page, do you think I'd find how you liked posts of E/riels mocking Lucien and the Elucien ship? Are you honestly coming on to my page and acting like what I do is so much worse than the people you follow? What I'm "mocking" is E/riels going around claiming they have canon evidence that the Elucien bond has been proven tainted and I'm fairly sure I'm allowed to call out how ridiculous that is. I acknowledge I could be wrong Elucien. I don't think I am but until the book is written anything is possible. But have you considered that you all could be very wrong about E/riel?

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (10/29/2024) Episode: Wholesome Morning Fun

Luigi and Noemi had successfully launched Watcher Tales right before their originally planned New Year’s Eve release date.

With that deadline off their backs, the family was able to relax and enjoy the holiday in style. In honor of all the relatives who had helped with his game launch, Luigi orchestrated a charity stream at the local gaming center, raising money for the family's foundation for at risk youth.

They kicked things off early in the morning, gathering a group of sims to participate in a timed Watcher Tales build challenge.

“You’ve got 2 hours to create a rockin’ party venue” Luigi told them “I’ll be checking in throughout on your progress, and at the end we’ll take turns touring all your creations, while our online viewers vote on their favorite. Good luck everyone!”

The winning build wound up being a futuristic nightclub lot, designed by the foundation’s volunteer computer science tutor, Mauricio.

Luigi had known this fellow computer lover since their teen years, when he’d been captain of Copperdale High’s computer club. The now much more mellow sim had put his interest in technology to good use both at the foundation and as a teacher at their old alma mater.

“I love your game, and so do my students.” he told Luigi when he came over to offer his congratulations. “The logic and data puzzles you added to the gearhead career are genius. It’s a fun way for kids to learn some of the basics of programming and I’m excited to work it into my lesson plans.”

As the attendees enjoyed placing their creations into their game worlds, Luigi was setting up breakfast with Grandpa Don and his friend Anderson.

“Anderson, this is Lalani. She wants to open her own catering business someday and today she’ll be helping you prepare your famous waffles for our event. Meanwhile, our volunteer Bradley here will be helping Don prepare drinks for all our guests. Nothing too potent now, he’s still a teen!”

“Brunch will be served shortly” he hollered to the crowd. “In the meantime, feel free to enjoy any of the fun activities we’ve setup throughout the center and thank you again for coming out to support this great cause!”

While Luigi was busy hosting the event and gathering footage for the foundations future promotions his son was unloading his most recent woes onto his friend Elyse “…then a clown with pliers started yanking out my teeth. It was awful! That wasn’t just a dream either…” he finished with a sigh “A bunch of my baby teeth are loose, and I hate how they’re all wiggly in my mouth. Daddy said I could just pull them out but I’m afraid to.”

“I totally get it” Elyse replied “I have nightmares too, and losing teeth is the worst! I yank mine to make sure I don’t swallow any in my sleep!”

“Oh, I don’t want to swallow them” Skye whimpered, more scared than ever, just in time for Bruce to jump into the conversation.

“I heard when you swallow a tooth it stays in your stomach for SEVEN YEARS!” their feisty friend grinned evilly at Skye’s horrified expression. “Now quite your bellyaching and come upstairs so I can kick your butts on this HUGE Space Invaders arcade game I found!”

After the meal Noemi gathered the children and teens for a little programming workshop. “Today I’ll show you how to program a simple music player and synthesizer so you can make your own tunes. I’ll also show you how to add your music tracks to Watcher Tales so you can hear them in game!”

Luigi filmed the kids working on their players, providing tips and tricks as he went. The sight of his friends, relatives, and the at-risk kids playing and learning together warmed his heart and made him proud of the good work the foundation was doing to help sims who might otherwise fall through the cracks.

Checking the donation counter Lugi was excited to see they’d already raised a healthy sum, and the day was just getting started!

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here