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redstarwriting · 1 year ago

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pda/general affection hcs | i.

ft. hobie brown & miles morales

request?: yes

request: “Hiiii!!! I am absolutely IN LOVE with ur the clash series and I can't wait to see how it progresses!!! Could u do some pda/general affection hcs for the spider verse characters? I would love to see Miles and Hobie hcs but it's rlly up to whatever characters u would wanna write for. Endless thanks!!”

warnings: language, cuteness, mentions of dying, mentions of injuries, mentions of throwing up, mentions of being overwhelmed

a/n: i love hcs lol this was actually how i first starting writing and it’s so fun bc i can be my sarcastic self without having to change any of it teehee, thank you for requesting anon! thinking of doing this for other characters to, what does everyone think?

i’ve made a pt ii. to this with gwen and pavitr if you wanna check it out!

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hobie brown | spider-punk

pda

- he’s kind of a middle ground - not crazy about it - not against it at all - he just - hold onto your hats for this one - ✨he does what he wants✨ - ofc it also depends who’s company you’re in - if y’all are with Miles, Gwen, and Pavitr, he’s super comfortable and a part - of his body will always be touching yours - but it’s not like he’s goin out of his way to be like LOOK AT MY PARTNER - HOWEVER - if he’s ANYWHERE where there are authority figures? - *cough* miguel *cough* - he will just start to make out with you - LMAO - “Hobie, can you stop kissing your partner and listen to me.” “No.” “You’re aware of how rude you’re being?” “Good.” - if you don’t like it ofc he won’t but he WILL be touchier with you in those moments - because it pisses people off - and he loves that - also if he felt threatened? - he’d probably get a little touchier than usual - but honestly he almost never feels threatened so who knows if you’d ever experience that - and if he did ever feel threatened he would feel better knowing that you always wear one of his studded bracelets - ppl will ask where you got it and you’ll be all - “Oh! My boyfriend Hobie!” - he loves seeing the hope drain out of anyone’s eyes when he appears behind you after that statement, he finds it so amusing every time - he’s only obsessed with a few things - like there is something he will ALWAYS do - he is OBSESSED and i mean OBSESSSSSEEDDD with having his hand in your back pocket - at all times - only if it isn’t around your shoulders (another obsession of his) - like y’all are going to one of his shows? - you enter with his hand in your back pocket - after gets offstage? - hand in back pocket - walking home? - hand in back pocket - sometimes y’all will walk instead of him picking you up and webbing back home JUST BECAUSE he wants to put his hand in your back pocket - he also LOVES using you as an armrest - if you’re short, he places his arm on your head like an armrest - if you’re average height, he’s still using your head as an armrest - if you’re tall or as tall as him he will climb a wall to use your head as an armrest - it gets you flustered and he thinks it’s adorable! - and eye contact? - he will keep his eyes trained on you at all times - he’s always looking at you - or else he’s looking for you - only looks away SOMETIMES when he’s talking to other people - “Hobie, I’m over here.” “Yeah, I know.” “So stop looking at them, I’m the one talking to you.” “Yeah, but you ain’t the fittest person in the room so piss off, eh?” - that being said - there is something he just doesn’t do in public - he doesn’t hold hands - i do feel like he would hold pinkies with you upon request - but holding hands just isn’t his thing - in public👀

general affection

- THIS MAN HAS THE WORLD FOOLED - he acts all nonchalant about it - acts like he only does pda to go against societal rules - which he does BUT ALSO - he is so touchy - he isn’t clingy by any regard - but he LOVES being affectionate - just like the smallest things - every morning when y’all wake up in the same bed together and he wakes up before you (which is a lot bc he doesn’t sleep well) he will place a feather-light kiss somewhere on your face so he doesn’t wake you up - but like clockwork - he will do it - and after he will just lay there and hold you for a bit - even when during the night the two of you separate from each other he will always reach out for you during those times - and he will maneuver you back into his arms so he can just lay there with you for a bit - every time you ask him why he just tells you you make him a “bloody softie” - which yeah you do - but also - he gets scared when he comes home, you won’t be there - with his job that isn’t really a job and all, he gets so nervous that you’ll just be fed up with it and leave - or worse, you’ll be used as bait for him - bait which he would immediately take, of course - he even does it because he thinks about the possibility of him not coming home one day - and he wants you to feel like you were loved if that happens - he also just loves the little smile that comes to your face every morning - when you realize he’s done it again - and that is just ONE THING - he hates getting injured, but would lie if he said he hated getting patched up by you - when you’re cleaning his wounds with alcohol the two of you hold hands - he’ll squeeze when it stings and you’ll squeeze when you feel bad - so you’re kinda squeezing his hand the whole time - but you know how i said he doesn’t hold hands in public? - at home it’s a different story - watching tv? - hands are held - looking at the stars from the top of a building? - hands are held - throwing up after drinking too much? - hands are held - so is hair - and he rubs your back - you rub his - he adores back scratches (not when he’s throwing up just in general LMAO) - one thing he didn’t realize he loved so much until it happened was when he was sitting and playing his guitar on y’alls bed - just mindlessly finger picking some melodies - and you came up and sat behind him and put your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around his waist and kissed his cheek and just - stayed there - it made him melt - he loves it so much - he especially loves it when you hum along - even if you can’t hold a tune - it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard he doesn’t care - you can expect him to be all over you the minute he gets back from being Spider-Punk - especially when he has a bad day - i could probably give more examples but this is already kinda long lmao oops

overall

- he LOVES affection - public and private - if he loves you, he’s gonna show it - he’s gonna scream it, literally and figuratively - everyone will know y’all are together - which he loves - but that’s not why he does it - he just loves you - and doesn’t care what other ppl think 🤭

miles morales | spider-man

pda

- omg this lil man is so awkward - i’m far older than him and he makes me think of how nervous and awkward i was at his age when it came to any type of romance - so i can see him being SO unintentionally awkward in public - he tries so hard to be cool - but omg - the tiniest thing will go wrong and he’ll go from 😏 to 😟 - everything is the end of the world until you assure him it isn’t - like the time he saw you outside around Brooklyn Visions Academy and thought it’d be so cute to go up behind you and cover your eyes and say “guess who :)” - except it wasn’t you - you were across the street and watched it all go down - he literally made eye contact with you the minute he tried to be cute - the HORROR on his face - he was immediately apologizing to the random person he just did that to - in the moment you were so confused - but when you and him were in his dorm and he was flailing his arms around -and yelling in lowercase explaining it? - oh my god - hilarious - he was all pouty when you started laughing so you had to attack his face with little kisses to make him cheer up - one would have done the trick but he was grateful for all of the ones you gave him regardless - or the time he went to wrap his arm around your waist during lunch because he wanted to be all cute in school and you turned around as soon as he put his arm out and tried to walk and his sturdiness and strength made you literally drop your lunch tray and the food went everywhere - and there you were again in his dorm as he was flailing his arms around and yelling in lowercase apologizing because you just got new shoes and he ruined it and— - shut him up with a kiss, would you? - a display of public affection that always happens though is you’re always in his jacket - to the point where he has two of the same jacket now so you guys can be twinning :,) - “Look, babe! Same jacket!” “Oh my god wait! We’re gonna be so cute!” “I know, right? Pretty smart and cute of me, huh?” “Very smart and cute of you, Miles.” - he also loves to have his hand on top of yours whenever he can - he’ll do it in class - if y’all go out to eat - if he’s sketching and you’re next to him - and holding hands in public is a favorite of his - it’s very tiny things that he does because every time he tries something big something goes wrong - like opening a door for you and motioning you to go in before him - and always being ready to steady you if you would trip (which happens more than he thought it would) - and always fixing your necklace that he bought you for your birthday (with the help of Rio) when the little clasp comes down in the front - he’s constantly staring at you with a dopey grin on his face - literally will get called out in class because he’s just 👁👄👁 - and then he gets all flustered - but the smile you get on your face letting him know you like him that much will relax him - will go from “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to draw attention to you!” to “yeah, you like that? imma do it more then.” - he’ll also pretend to drum on you with his pencils when you’re near him - especially if he has his headphones in - he likes to play this game where you guess which one of his songs he’s jamming out to - sometimes he says you got it right when you get it wrong just to see you get excited - and he doesn’t necessarily mean for this to be a public display of affection, - but his constant drawing of you is frequently watched by other classmates - the only person who has successfully seen his bold moves of affection is Ganke, and he pretends to gag every time lol

general affection

- he’s such an affectionate boy 🥹 - like i said, Ganke is the only one who successfully sees his physical affection plots work - he’s much smoother when people aren’t around - and yes, he has shown you the shoulder touch - you did it to him once and he short-circuited - i’m so serious he accidentally shocked you - but then he hugged and kissed you for like 40 minutes afterward cause he felt bad - so it wasn’t too bad of an experience - but when it comes to physical affection in private, he’s worlds better at it - any time he plays video games, whether that be with you or Ganke, he has his leg over top of yours - He loves watching movies with you where you lay your head on his lap and he just mindlessly draws little shapes on your shoulder - he also loves having you laying on top of him while y’all cuddle - it makes him feel safe (and he gets to steal soooo many kisses from you) - you’re kinda like his very own weighted blanket but not even because his spider strength makes you feel like a feather - but it’s also an easy way for him to keep a hold of you and feel like he’s protecting you - he also loves to take you web swinging - holding you super close and taking you to a tall building away from anyone who can see y’all - he loves that - sometimes he’ll have like a whole picnic type date set up and y’all will just have a cute lil date on the top of the one world trade center - he also loves having you over to his place - his parents love you - and you love them - they make him keep his door cracked when y’all are in there together but it’s mainly because they love to peek in and see their son so in love - Jefferson took like 74 pictures the first time he saw y’all napping together - And Rio took like 52 pictures when she caught the two of you on the roof of the building and he was playing you a playlist he made for you - he does that a lot but that was the first time Rio saw it - she was ecstatic lol - he occasionally will just poke you for no reason - and by occasionally i mean he does it constantly - “Miles? Why did you do that?” “Do what?” “I literally saw you poke me.” “No, I didn’t” “…” “…” “I did, you’re just so cute, I don’t know.” - he also loves drawing on your hand - the back of your hand has constant Miles doodles - sometimes it’s stuff like the two of your initals in a heart - sometimes it’s Spider-Man - sometimes it’s just whatever was on his mind - but you love your constant Miles hand drawings - and he feels like it’s some sort of way for other people to know you’re his - but when he does it it’s so cute - cause he’s so gentle - and no one is watching - but you’re sitting there and just smiling as he creates a work of art on your hand and the playlist he made full of songs that remind him of how you made him feel the first time he saw you is softly playing in the background - he calls them temporary tattoos and one day you’re going to actually get one of the doodles tattooed on you somewhere - he’ll probably have a heart attack from how much he loves it but hey that’s fine he’ll recover - speaking of he loves to draw with you - he doesn’t care about your skill level, he just loves to be creative with you - he also is very much all about making sure you’re eating - getting enough sleep - prioritizing yourself above everything else - and if anything is ever bothering you - he is There - he will always be there and it’s very comforting - he just wants you to be happy all the time and does his best to do so - and you feel the same - so any time the responsibility of Spider-Man is too much for him - or when his parents get on him because he’s hiding half of who he is - you’re there for him - often times after he comes home from a long day of Spider-Manning he’s the one who is being held, but you’re fine with that - cause he can be vulnerable with you and he needs it

overall

- Miles is getting the hang of being in a relationship - he really does love pda but is so bad at it lmao - when he gets better beware - you will be a melting mess in public all the time - but for right now it’s just behind the scenes where he’s able to show how he really feels - give him all the hugs he needs ‘em

#hobie brown hcs #hobie brown headcanons #hobie headcanons #hobie brown x reader #miles morales hcs #miles morales headcanons #miles morales x reader #miles x reader #spiderpunk x reader #spiderman x reader #spiderverse headcanon #spiderverse x reader #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #hobie brown #miles morales

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p1utofairy · 1 year ago

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PAC: “one hit of your love addicted me. now i’m strung out on you, darlin’, can’t you see?” 🕊️🕰️✨📨

• what will your first love be like?

disclaimer ✩: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i wanted to try something new by including edits but ofc tumblr is annoying and doesn’t let you post more than 1 video ugh. hope you all enjoy this though! love you much.

PILE ONE.

hey pile 1 🎀 right off the bat i gotta say…your person could possibly give anakin skywalker vibes visually lolololol very tall, handsome and broody. i'm also thinking of jon snow from ‘game of thrones’ hmmm i think this just ties into the fact that your person is in their bag a good 85% of the time! they analyze and process their thoughts & emotions a lot, and this won’t change especially when it comes to their love and devotion for you. they are very intense and purposeful when it comes to love — there’s no faking it or forcing it. they say what they mean, and mean what they say. they hold themselves to a very high standard so i think they’ll be in their head a lot when it comes down to approaching you/courting you. they want to make sure that they’re doing and saying the right things…they want to make sure that you’re comfortable. they will prioritize you and take the time out to really get to know you! they don’t want to do the whole cliché “wyd” texts or just take you out to the movies. no, they want to be able to take you to places you’ve never been before & treat you to beautiful experiences that will stay with you forever. that’s how highly they think of you, pile 1! they think you deserve the best of the best and they will do everything in their power to give you just that. this person has been through a lot in their life and they’ve felt so alone and misunderstood. 9x out of 10 if they just got out of a relationship, their ex didn’t understand them or couldn’t match them emotionally. your person is big on “everything happens for a reason” so when you come into their life they’re going to feel so much joy and relief, it’s like you’re their saving grace. it’s that energy of — where have you been all my life? that scene of anakin and padmé in ‘star wars: attack of the clones’ on the balcony is coming to mind…the longing in their eyes before they share their first kiss. a lot of people may talk about y'alls relationship/how y'all got together. it's nothing scandalous…i just see people being infatuated? i’m picking up a lot of outside influences/opinions so just be careful of that…don't have too many people in your business cause i’m picking up that some of these people don’t have the best intentions and are secretly jealous. it’s giving very much “fan behavior” hm they might keep tabs or ask lots of questions about you and your person’s relationship…it’s weird. i think for some of you, you’ve been single for a long time, so it’s going to be a shock to a lot of people when you pop out with this person. once your person comes into your life you may start to notice multiple people show romantic interest in you and you’ll be like??? where tf were y’all at when i was single for ____ years?! LMFAOOOOO that’s hilarious but back to your first love, it’ll be beautifully intense. i see you giggling a lot, staring at your person with big starry eyes and a lot of physical touch between you two. it may not even be in a flashy way? i can just see you coming up behind them and placing a hand on their back to make your presence known…i see a lot of moments of them holding you in their arms and resting their forehead against yours — they’re looking at you with so much intensity…deep concentration and passion etched across their face and you just break out into this bright smile and they just melt. you look so innocent compared to them like there’s this light in your eyes that’s left their own a long time ago, but they feel so safe…so free to be themselves when they’re with you. you’re their heart, pile 1. i’m hearing that scene from ‘the bear’ when carmy tells sydney “i couldn’t do it without you. i wouldn’t even want to do it without you…” AWWWWEEEEEE.

via tnqkins on tiktok

other channeled messages:

who's that girl? by eve, shravana moon/rising, doe eyes, baby pink, curly hair, strong arms, yin & yang energy, younger/age difference, vishaka scorpio moon, hypnotic gaze, 10:10, mirroring each other, distinct cologne

PILE TWO.

heyyy pile 2! you will NOT expect to fall in love with this person wow, your feelings for them will actually catch you off guard. this person is not your usual type and that's what's so intriguing about them…you’ll never know what to expect with them; they’ll keep you on your toes. i think that you keep repeating cycles or keep going back to someone who is no good for you, but once you meet this person there’s no going back. you’ll gravitate towards them like a month drawn to a flame lol you can’t fight these feelings even if you wanted to. you might meet this person through a mutual friend or meet them in a group setting, i see other people around you both as you talk and get to know each other. there’s so much warmth that this person radiates…they feel like home to you. a hug from them could fix your bad day, a kiss from them could make your heart skip a beat 🥹 and their smile?! to see them smile at you will give you an instant serotonin boost. this relationship feels divine…it feels fated. it’s giving “right person at the right time” like everything leading up to this connection will make so much sense once you’re actually together. some of you that chose this pile are quick to self-sabotage or cut off a relationship before you can get too emotionally invested. you’ve built these walls up because you’ve been through a lot of shit and you don’t want the extra baggage a relationship can sometimes bring, but it’s gonna be different with this person. you’re going to be so open to receiving their love and reciprocating it, there’s going to be such a healthy balance between you two. i’m hearing that this person is going to be a wish fulfillment, pile 2. this might be a long distance relationship at first — you might have to travel to see each other or you both will like to travel to different places together. they will value you so much! they will wine and dine you, surprise you with your favorite things and make sure you always have whatever your heart desires. they love you and they will have no problem showing that.

other channeled messages:

short king, sagittarius, bisexual, when harry met sally, opposites attract, capricorn man, matcha latte, boyfriend by big time rush, saturn dominant, west virgina, virgo/6H placements, ruby, freckles

PILE THREE.

pile 333 🦢 whoa i'm already picking up that this is a love that only grows stronger and better with time; it ages like fine wine. WOW WOW WOW. i'm ngl i feel like this person is your divine counterpart…when i say you two are a match made in heaven — i mean it. you complete each other in ways that other people will never truly understand. there’s this unspoken love and desire between you two initially; i see you both stealing a lot of glances at each other, waiting for the other to cave in and say something…anything. you both want to close that space between you but don’t know exactly how to. i don’t think either of you has ever felt this way before about anybody 😮‍💨 this love is strong AF. it’s never a dull moment between you two, there’s always that underlying passion and spark ready to consume you both. i’m picking up that either your ex or their ex is going to be very envious of this relationship. they almost feel blindsided in a sense…they thought you were going to come back to them and give them another chance, so it's going to make them feel some type of way when they see that you’ve moved on. please be cautious of this ex pile 3…they don’t have good intentions at all and i pick up an obsessive vibe from them. we are blocking that all the way out 🧿 anyways! your person’s love language is more than likely quality time…they loveeeeeee spending time with you and stepping out of their comfort zone to try things that you like. there’s a solid friendship at the root of this connection pile 3…like not only is this person your lover, but they’re also your best friend wrapped into one. you will give them the key to your heart and vice versa. any other options or third party situations will be cut off/left behind because all you both can see is each other! nothing and no one can tear this relationship down because it’s built on such a strong foundation, you can see yourself with this person years down the line from now and they feel the exact same way. you’re home to them. i know this is your first love pile 3 but i wouldn’t be surprised if they popped the question 💍 — i'm just sayinnnnnnnnnn!

other channeled messages:

feel it by jacquees ft. lloyd & rich homie quan, la perla lingerie, just left a toxic relationship, rock the boat by aaliyah, air sign placements, 26, 111, lemon drop, leo, jaded by drake

#pac #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #love reading #pac reading #intuitive reading #tarot reading #energy reading #love pac #pac tarot #tarot #tarot pac #p1utofairy

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getmeoutofhell · 1 year ago

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Ghostface killers texting with y/n part 2!!

This is for @randymeeksistheloml

Summary: basically leaving off from last chapter. Enjoy! 🤗 part 1: chat

Warnings: Ethan gets in a argument with Billy/cussing

Roman: what did I just come back to?

Y/n: don’t worry about it. It’s just them being weird as usual

Amber: Ethan’s such a L 😭😭

Y/n: imma add him back

Quinn: why? You like my brother or something 🤨

Y/n: what? No I just wanna add him back lol

Quinn: yeah sureeeee

*y/n adds Ethan back in the chat*

Amber: aww you added him back

Y/n: 😐

Ethan: why am I back in here?

Y/n: because I added you back lmao

Ethan: oh thank you y/n ❣️

Quinn: OH?!?! Now do you believe me y/n?? 🤨

Stu: 👀👀👀

Billy: maybe E won’t be a virgin sissy no more

Amber: LMAOOO

Y/n: replying to quinn: wdym?? He literally just said thanks. Y’all really getting on my nerves. Dead ass.

Y/n: replying to billy: bro wtf

Ethan: replying to billy: wtf are you talking about?? Stfu

Billy: little bro don’t start with me

Amber: fight fight fight!!

Quinn: lemme get the popcorn 🍿

Y/n: oh shit…

Ethan: replying to billy: no because your weird for saying that. You need to stfu

Mickey: holy shit what’s going on

Roman: right I just got out the shower and all I hear is my phone dinging

Quinn: @ Richie you need to see this

Richie: see what?

Richie: replying to billy: 😂😂😂

Billy: replying to Ethan: make me bitch boy

Stu: uh oh 😰

Ethan: piss off

Y/n: everyone chill out please.

Billy: No this virgin boy mad he gets no play. He ain’t gonna do shit

Billy: @ Ethan, ain’t this you?

Amber: LMFAOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Y/n: oh my fucking gosh…

Amber: BRO GOT CLAPPED 💀

Ethan: @ amber: bitch ain’t this you?

Y/n: 💀

Ethan: and billy bob, ain��t this you?

Quinn: BAHAHAHAH

Amber: replying to ethan: 🖕🏻

Amber: you just mad y/n doesn’t want you

Roman: hey can y’all stfu, imm tryna watch this movie and y’all keep interrupting

Mickey: this shit is so fucking funny

Billy: replying to Ethan: make sure to lock your windows tonight bitch boy

Billy: replying to Quinn: it’s not that damn funny

Quinn: yes it is

*ethan left the chat*

Billy: bitch

Stu: guys, why are we fighting?? 🥺

Billy: Stu shut the hell up

Stu: where’s Charlie??? He barley texts in here. Also billy stop being mean to me 😔

Jill replying to Roman: you can literally turn your phone notifications off dummy

Amber: where the hell you come from?

Roman: don’t start with me Jill. I’m not in the mood

Jill: replying to amber: I’ve just been enjoying reading y’all going back and forth

Quinn: weirdo.

Jill: what bitch?

Charlie: hey y’all…wtf has happened while I was gone?

Roman: a bunch clearly. Where have you been?? I was trying to call you all damn day charlie. It’s your turn to do the dishes

Charlie: chill I was with my friend. You know the one I went on a date with?

Stu: are you gonna tell us who it is yet?? 👀

Charlie: no

Billy: bro just tell us

Y/n: y’all he doesn’t have to if he don’t want to

Stu: why do you care y/n? Sus

Billy: no damn way you just said the word sus

Amber: anyways, where are we heading to next week?

Quinn replying to billy: lmaoo 😭

Y/n: were supposed to be going on a trip to Hawaii

Charlie: yeah

Roman: oh yeah the trip. I’m driving. Also please put Mickey in the damn back of the van.

Mickey: why do I have to be in the back

Roman: because you’re very aggravating sometimes and I can’t have that while I’m driving

Quinn: I’m so excited for the trip. Also who’s buying the snacks for the road???

Billy: make Ethan’s ass do it

Y/n: lol I’m buying snacks for the road

Richie: where am I sitting in the van? Don’t put me by Quinn. I still remember that piece of melted candy I had stuck on me all those years ago from her

Quinn: dramatic

Y/n: how about you guys come over and we can all watch a movie and order pizza? Just stop arguing about every damn thing

Billy: I’m not going around that virgin sissy

Stu: y/n can I got to the store with you when you get the snacks? 🤗

Y/n: ofc!! 😊

I hope you enjoyed this!! I plan on writing headcanons and maybe a whole fic about you and the group all on a road trip to Hawaii. Send in questions, I like them. 🤭

#slashers x reader #slashers #slashers x y/n #roman bridger #roman bridger x reader #mickey altieri #mickey altieri x reader #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #billy loomis #billy loomis x reader #stu matcher x reader #stu macher #quinn bailey #quinn bailey x reader #richie kirsch #richie kirsch x reader

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the-moon-lullaby · 2 years ago

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Hi! It's so great to see someone writing for good old mc. Can I get the boys (by that I mean Nathaniel, Castiel, Lysander, Kentin and Armin but feel free to left some out if that's too many characters) talking to Candy's pregnant belly? Ofc feel free to ignore if you are uncomfortable with topic of pregnancy or kids. Also have a great day!

The HSL boys talking to Candy’s pregnant belly

N/A : Heyy! Thank you for being so considerate in your request, it's lovely of you ! It was fun to write ! Thank you for your request and have a great day as well darling !<3

𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚕

He would totally sing to Candy’s belly. Whether it is a Crowstorm unreleased song or a little lullaby, he’ll do it and you can’t convince me otherwise. Perhaps at the beginning it would be at Candy’s demand and he’d act annoyed/bothered but don’t let him fool you : he loves it. At some point, he’d just do it. Like if he’s writing a new song or anything, he’d sing it to Candy’s belly (and to Candy as well ofc). Double audience for my guy now

However better not tell anyone about this or he’ll get a bit embarrassed. He likes the fact that these moments are just between him, Candy and their baby. It’s just so intimate to him so he feels like this would ruin it a little if Candy starts to tell or brag about it to other people (as if she would tho)

Not but for real, just picture him singing Hakuna Matata to Candy’s belly (PLS this is so wholesome and funny at the same time, I CAN’T)

Also I think he would be the type to randomly interact here and there with the baby like, for example, when complaining about people (‘cause we know he does that sometimes) « God, people sucks ! Not you though, mate. » Cute

After a while, when he feels completely comfortable with talking to the baby and that you’re both used to it, he’d be more emotionally open and would say things like « Can’t wait to meet you mate » or if it’s this kind of day when he doesn’t want to come off as too sentimental he’d go for something like « You’re gonna love Pancake » or « Pancake is so impatient to meet you buddy ! » (the dog is a good cover, right ?)

That said, I just know that Castiel would always refer to the baby as « mate » or « buddy » (any nicknames like that honestly) even if you guys already choose a name. Why ? Well because he believes it makes the situation less cheesy but (in my humble opinion), it just makes it even more adorable

He secretly wishes for his baby to be able to recognise his voice but pretend that it’s not that important to him (it is). As if he was trying to bond with his child even though they’re still in the womb lol. So behind this chill facade that he keeps on, if the baby moves or kicks while he’s speaking or singing, he’ll instantly get so excited (forget about being embarrassed, he’s to thrilled for that at the moment) and it would be the cutest thing ever. Ofc Candy would tease him a bit about it but bold of you to assume that this is going to stop him

He might even break his own rules and go brag about how his baby reacts to his voice.

And now he can’t wait to hear them in return.

𝙻𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛

Oh Lord ! This man, I can’t. Lysander talking to Candy’s belly would be the sweetest thing ever.

Just imagine : Lysander reciting the most heartfelt, passionate and soul-stirring poem (that ofc he wrote himself because this man has it all y’all) kneeled in front of Candy’s belly.

Honestly Candy would be tearing up at this sight (just as I am imagining it, Lysander truly is a gift) and when he notices that he would just place a kiss on Candy’s belly before kissing her forehead and take her in his arms. So freaking sweet.

Lysander’s poetic (rizz) talent isn’t just a myth. He’s the embodiment of poetry if you ask me and he certainly has a way with words.

Between him and Castiel, it’s some creative boys that we have here. How lucky

That said, be prepared for him to constantly write poems about Candy and their child. He has now two muses so his inspiration is doubled

Also, I feel like when it comes to choosing the baby’s name, he would just say the names in front of Candy’s belly and see if there’s a reaction inside. Just because he kinda wants his baby to choose their names somehow

Ofc he would sing to Candy’s belly. I mean with his angelic voice (as it was mentioned more than once in the game), how could he not ?

I think Lysander would not feel ashamed to talk to his baby (unlike most of the boys at some point). Not in the slightest. And it make sense because since when Lysander care about what people think ? The only persons that matters to him are the persons he loves and they would never make fun of him or judge him for that.

And of course, he'll be the greatest dad ever (his kids won't ever relate to Daddy issues by the Neighbourhood or Family Line by Conan Gray, that's for sure)

𝙰𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗

Ok so with Armin if you expected heartfelt speeches or sentimental words from him, you’ve come to the wrong place. We don’t do that here lol (However, out of topic, I think Alexy would do that for him though as the invested uncle and the drama-queen he is, and ofc Armin would laugh at him)

Don’t assume he doesn’t talk to the baby though. He does and does it a lot.

I don’t know why but I can picture him telling Candy to sit next to him while he plays LoL ( for example) and explaining how to play a game to her belly or tell everything about the Zelda lore (idk about you but that’s funny to me)

Candy might even get annoyed at some point but Armin will joke saying that they need to educate their child as soon as possible (little does Candy knows that Armin is only half-joking lmao)

He is totally the kind of guy that will address to Candy’s belly without explicitly showing it just to mess with Candy. Let me clarify : for example he would say something and it could be anything really and Candy would go « huh ? » and « I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to them, duh. ». But it’s all fun and games, nothing mean obviously

Or also, when Candy curses for whatever reason, he would act so shocked « Oh my God ! Have you heard what Mom said ?! » (pls someone stop this guy)

It still cute because, Armin’s playfulness is part of his charm and more than often it makes Candy smiles so everything’s alright and the baby could hope for a cooler dad.

𝙺𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗

Over protective dad. I won’t argue with anyone about this, I just know

You know these « dad-like speeches » where they swear they’ll always be there for you and protect you with their life ? Well that’s Kentin on a daily basis

And keep in mind that for now, the baby isn’t even out of the womb yet. My guy is rea-dy to deal with it lol

It’s actually very sweet and knowing how Kentin always felt ignored or despised by his father, it is very important for him that his child knows that they’ll can count on him no matter what

He wants to be someone they can rely on and that’s why he says it often to Candy’s belly. That way he’s sure that they know (well not really but you get the point)

I don’t see him speaking with a baby voice though because he’ll feel a bit shy about it (it’s actually sad when you think of it but most guys are embarrassed about doing things like that. That’s a shame if you ask me but let’s go back to the Headcanon before I start ranting about societal issues and how Toxic masculinity ruins lives)

But when Candy is asleep, that’s another story

He’s just so happy that he and Candy get to have a family of their own after all this time

I mean, this boy has been in love with her for so long so the idea of having a little one as a result of this unconditional love ? My boy is over the moon right now so let out the baby voice

That was before he got caught by Candy one night and he became so red that it looked like he got instantly sunburned

But let’s be honest, he can’t stay embarrassed in front of his girl for long because he knows she loves him as much as he loves her. Therefore, he never shied away talking to his future child from now on.

𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚕

So, we know that Nath doesn’t want children. That’s canon. However for the sake of this request, let’s say that he reconsidered and changed his mind (probably after months and months of therapy)

I think of all the guys, Nathaniel is least to be talking to Candy’s belly and there’s multiple reasons for that : First, he would be embarrassed (yeah, again). Even if he knows he can be vulnerable in front of Candy, he would cringe at himself if was to do something like that (why do I get the feeling that Nath is so easy to cringe lol ?). The other reason would be that he’s still processing and that the baby’s arrival feels so far away yet (forgive him for that, he’s not exactly known to be in touch with his emotions)

But then, as the fateful moment approaches, all his attempts to gaslight himself into believing that everything will be perfectly fine seem to fire back at him

That’s about when he starts to get insomnia. Most nights, he would be just laying in bed, tired and ready to meet Morpheus with Candy already asleep by his side when this chest-crushing anxiety would take over him. « Will I be good enough ? Patient enough ? Caring ? Will I be enough ? ». Really these thoughts terrify him and slowly drive him crazy (add to that the sleep deprivation)

He categorically refuses to tell Candy about it because he knows she has enough to deal with (pregnancy is a trial of life, so I’ve heard) and he doesn’t want to be a burden to her (poor baby). And it’s not like he’s gonna ask life advices to his dad because this man might be one of the worst father figures you can think of and Nathaniel want to be the opposite of this man in terms of parenting. Candy can tell something is bothering him but getting this boy to talk is far from easy

So, one night when he’s laying wide awake in the middle of night, he can’t help but to stare at Candy’s belly and instinctively, puts his hand over it. A so gentle move that it could barely be felt, as if he was scared to wake the little one (and Candy as well).

Then without knowing why he wants to tell his future child that he’ll do his best so, in a whisper, he makes this promise. And then he makes another one and keeps going naturally. All whispers. He asks himself if these promises are for the child or for himself until he feels something timidly moving under his hand.

He could barely feel it. To the point he thought he imagined it. But it didn’t matter. Somehow, he felt relieved. About what ? He couldn’t be sure about this but maybe it was a sign that his baby knew that he was trying.

After that, it would become a habit. Every time he would struggle to fall asleep he would whisper to Candy’s belly, hoping that the baby hears (even if sometimes he tells himself that it’s ridiculous but who cares if it is after all ?)

He’ll never tell Candy about it or not before a while as he likes the idea that this is him and his kid’s secret and he know can’t wait to meet them because he doesn’t want to let fear keeps him from being the father they deserve

(𝖮o𝖿, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗀𝗎𝗒 ! 𝖡𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍, 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖺 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌𝗇’𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍𝗒 ? 𝖭𝗈𝗍 𝗌𝗈 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖼 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗂𝖼 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗈𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗈𝗇. 𝖧𝖾'𝗌 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗍 𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗉𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝖾'𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖻𝗀)

And there you go ! Hope you enjoyed it ! there might be mistakes but I wrote this at 4am instead of studying for my Italian exam because why not eheh (this was much more fun to do) This is a first (and I am struggling) but I think it's pretty okay

See y'all soon and wish you the best ! <3

PS : Here's a little song recommandation ‘cause I can & it’s a good song ! It's called Run Away to Mars by Talk and I thank my labo teacher for recommending it, she's a sweetheart !

youtube

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kierancaz · 1 year ago

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Y’all I’ve been on a binge and who do u think would watch RuPaul’s Drag Race with Yuu??

Personally, my Yuu is sitting down all the first years. They don’t have a choice. They’re gonna watch this and they’re gonna like it. But I also think Cater, Vil, and Rook would join bc they would love the makeup looks and fashion ofc. Malleus would watch it with them if they asked, I feel like he would be super fascinated like “wow, you humans may not have magic but it seems you don’t need it to entirely transform your appearance.”

After watching like one season Ace just fully adopts the language. At first he tries to catch himself but then he just gives up. He almost looses his head when he offhandedly tells Riddle his pussy is on fire 💀 Cater and Deuce save him with an explanation bc Ace is to busy dying of embarrassment in the background and Trey is losing his mind laughing in the background. After that Trey and Riddle join in on watching, Riddle calls it absurd but he keeps coming back so obviously it’s not that absurd.

Kalim is another one that starts adopting the language! Except he doesn’t try to stop it like Ace does, he tells everyone they look slay and that their pussy is poppin’ and he has no shame. Jamil TRIES to stop this bc “Kalim, you shouldn’t talk like that it’s not proper—” it’s no use, no matter how many times Jamil tries to explain Kalim is on a roll and he is not stopping.

Obvi Jamil was dragged by Kalim after Kalim found out everyone was having movie nights without him :( Kalim was so upset he rushed over to find Yuu and was all pouty like “why didn’t you invite me too :(((((” obvi he is welcome to come so then he and Jamil show up with everyone else ready to watch some Drag Race. Jamil will never admit it but he’s actually pretty invested. He thinks it’s stupid and just one of those things he can watch and shut his brain off and he really enjoys that.

Jack doesn’t want to admit that he finds the show appealing. HOWEVER he does go to Epel like “so…. what do you think about that show Yuu made us watch.” EPEL DOESN’T WANT TO ADMIT HE LIKES IT EITHER he thinks it’ll make him seem more girly AND HE CAN’T HAVE THAT so he tells Jack he thinks it’s stupid and he can’t believe it’s such a popular show but he still comes back every weekend just to hang out with everyone.

Sebek goes because Malleus goes !! That’s it !! Not because he finds all the makeup looks pretty who do you think he is ??? Lilia and Silver started tagging along after a while just out of curiosity, Lilia LOVES it. He lives for the drama and def wants to try drag makeup at some point. He asks Silver if he would let him do the makeup on him. Silver says no. Speaking of Silver, he tries to stay awake but he always falls asleep on the couch and someone fills him in when he wakes up. Also Malleus does not get most of the dirty jokes and Yuu is usually the one left to explain them to him 💀 Sebek always tells them not to because “don’t fill his head with such vile and repulsive things !!!” “how do you even know what that joke means ??”— Ace. Sebek doesn’t have an answer for that.

Ruggie enjoys it. I just know this man loves anything messy. He would live for shows like Love is Blind, the Ultimatum, To Hot Too Handle. He just loves trash tv, not just reality tv but like really shitty movies too. He appreciates the sense of community that the queens have though.

Leona literally does not care he couldn’t give less of a shit if someone placed one in his lap he’s just here because the stupid herbivore wouldn’t leave him alone because everyone else was turning up anyway. He 100% falls asleep on the couch and then when he’s woken up just has to sit through someone explaining what’s happened even though he doesn’t care. Sometimes he wakes up and Malleus is just looking over him like “ah you’re awake now, this is what Daya said while you’re asleep,” and then Leona’s eye just twitches and he rolls over and goes back to sleep before Malleus even finished his sentence.

Azul is wondering if this is something he could turn into a business venture. He finds it fascinating. Likes the performance of it all, like the lip sync battles and the fashion show part. He’s wondering if he should implicate a drag night or something at the Monstro Lounge if enough people seemed interested, after all there wasn’t really anything like that on campus. Jade is pretty indifferent, it really depends on what mood Floyd is in if he enjoys it or not. Sometimes he’s just not in the mood !!! He’s just here for snacks and bc he gets to squeeze the prefect.

Ortho loves it !!! He doesn’t get most of the jokes and no one is allowed to explain them to him. Certain parts Idia covers his eyes for. Ortho really started tagging along because he didn’t want to feel left out :( he wants to try his makeup like the queens !!! He thinks everyone is so pretty and it’s abordable. He asks questions about mostly the references that the queens make like “who’s Beyoncé and what are the Spice Girls??”

Idia on the other hand is literally just here because everyone else is and Ortho literally begged him to come out of his room and join everyone. Poor Idia is stressing he doesn’t think Ortho should be watching this bc of all the inappropriate jokes and stuff, he’s also worried Ortho will just start calling people bitches and hoes. It’s ok Idia, he won’t, calm down. He’s pretty indifferent about the show, he brings his tablet or his switch and plays games. Will sometimes look up and spend a few minutes watching before going back to his game.

RIDDLE THINKS THIS SHOW IS RIDICULOUS !!! People are talking so crudely !!! He gets that shocked face that grandparents make whenever there’s a sex joke. Clutching his heart and all. He wonders if this is somehow breaking one of the queens rules because it FEELS LIKE IT IS but he can’t think of a rule that this is breaking and he is mildly fascinated and wants to know who wins the competition. One thing he does wonder about his Yuu’s home world society, in twisted wonderland anyone of any gender wore makeup and clothes weren’t constricted to one gender either. He definitely goes up to them and asks them what their world was like when it came to the divide between men and women. He appalled by everything he hears.

Trey likes the show. He didn’t think he would. He went in thinking it was going to be stupid but then after hearing Ace he decided he needed to at least give it a chance because that was just way to funny. Eventually he gets super invested but will NOT let Cater do drag makeup on him, it doesn’t matter how many times he asks it will always be a no. He thinks it’s so cool and impressive how the queens make their own outfits and stuff.

Vil doesn’t care much for the drama the way Cater does, he loves the makeup and the outfits and the HAIR. He loves the wigs. He acts like one of the judges and gives his input on each of the outfits, he’s super critical about it too and will get so fired up if he disagrees with one of the judges it’s actually kinda funny.

Rook is always backing Vils opinions !!! Adds his own to sense sometimes. Gets so upset when someone he likes is eliminated, he is fake crying and everything. Wait that might actually be a real tear hold on—

The house is mf PACKED and after like three weeks of this Crowley is getting suspicious so he goes over to Ramshackle to figure out what is going on. He gets suckered in too. Despite everything Yuu has a soft spot for the crow bastard now and so he is SITTING DOWN AND WATCHING THIS EPISODE WITH EVERYONE ELSE. At first he’s pretty peeved because what is he doing here sitting with a bunch of his students on a Saturday night at almost 11 o’clock but 15 minutes in he’s hooked and oh my god he needs to tell Crewel about this—

Crewel does end up liking the show and gets super invested but is not an emotional wreck like Crowley is. Occasionally he’s hitting Crowley with his little stick thing because “oh my seven yes it’s sad to hear that they didn’t have a good relationship with their family but quit blubbering you look like a fool.” Crowley is asking Yuu if this is the situation with a lot of drag queens and people of the like and he gets more upset when Yuu says yeah that’s a pretty common occurrence.

(I’m imagining that it’s towards the end of the year and there aren’t any classes happening, the last few weeks are just the entire school chilling because OVERBLOT OVERBLOT OVERBLOT EVERYONE IS TIREDDDD, the staff and specifically Crowley and Crewel are like family to Yuu so they spend time with them outside of school regularly. Who knows one of them might even be adopting them soon 👀)

Yuu has such a good time sharing something from their world with all of their friends and getting to teach them about all the references and stuff that are in the show. They’re so excited when the others express when they like the lip sync songs. They don’t have a lot of their home world left, they’ve chosen to stay and they’re happy with their decision and the life they’ve built here but there’s a part of them that will always miss the little things from their world they weren’t able to bring back with them. They’re only getting to keep a little bit of their world with them so when someone says “hey like that song” they’re overjoyed. They get a little sad when someone asks them to explain something they don’t really know how to, they feel bad they’re not able to satisfy the others curiosity and that there’s something they won’t get to the chance to understand now they’ve permanently moved to twisted wonderland. But it’s ok, it never sticks with them for to long because they’re having to much fun with everyone else.

Now Grim says he doesn’t like the show. And he doesn’t. He doesn’t find any interest in any humans dressing up and saying weird stuff and talking about things he doesn’t understand. But he does like to listen to Yuu talk about the show. He does like listening to the lip sync songs and he asks questions just so Yuu can explain them to him because he wants to know about Yuus roots and where they come from. They’re his only family, he won’t say it out loud but he loves them so much and he loves seeing how happy they get when he shows interest in their home world. He was so scared that they were going to leave him, that once they were gone he would be all alone again, so it’s the least he can do to learn all he can about them since they’re really going to be his family now and aren’t going to leave him.

Also you can totally catch Deuce singing RuPauls entrance song under his breath from time to time. He’s jus doing homework somewhere and then suddenly he’s got a lil wiggle going and he’s muttering “cover girl.. put the base in your walk head to toe.. let your whole body talk..” if you hear him NO YOU DID NOT YOUR LITERALLY DELUSIONAL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT—

Ok this is what like 4 hours of my brain rot gives you if you have anything to add ADD IT PLEASEEE i tried to cover everyone but yk. Either way I think this is funny and I will be thinking about this for as long as I’m watching drag race 😋

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spidergutz-writes · 2 years ago

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Dear genius;; do you perhaps have more headcanons for Otis with Baby's best friend? Just anything!! ;;w;

-meadow! My dear friend hello again :D! I truly hope you enjoy these (givin me my favorite tropes, i see what your doin 😁)

anyways, I hope you enjoy these!! —

So. Much. FLIRTING.

and not just regular flirting, though. Oh No no no.

what? You thought OTIS could flirt normally? No. That man’s shoving a live human heart in your face, while telling you how nice and soft your precious skin looks.

lemmie tell you this, if your baby’s best friend, you’ve either been with her from the beginning, or your just a morbid person and they kept you around for that.

and if you’ve been with her from the beginning? You can at least tolerate morbid stuff.

so there’s a lot of…dark flirting.

example:

“I’d love to cut you up and make a masterpiece outta you, doll”

“I’d let you do it.”

definitely also makes you little gifts. Like, little portraits of you, figures made of bone or cartilage.

puts his hand on your shoulder a lot. Your his, and he needs others to know that. (you just don’t know it yet, and he probably doesn’t either)

otis is also a very blunt person, so he’s more than likely invited you to his bed more than once

”yknow sweetheart, my beds always open for you”

often uses you as his muse, blatantly telling you it’s because your hot/pretty as fuck.

you two probably have rant sessions too.Your mad about something, he’s mad about something, so you both just vent to eachother about it.

you laying on his bed, him pacing around. Your waiting for him to finish so you can console him, then go on with your own rant,

which you know he’d be there to listen to. After you listen to him ofc.

”can’t believe tiny almost let my muse escape! Do you know how long it took for me to get this detrimental wall of art block broken down? Fucking, forever!! If it wasn’t for me being there, just in time, that bitch would’ve ran away!”

so many late nights spent outside when neither of you can sleep, so you just talk.

talking about anything and everything, till eventually one of you falls asleep (typically you)

and by saying that, there’s been a few times where you woken up in Otis’s bed while he’s passed out on the very edge of the bed.

hes a sadistic, psychotic, homicidal maniac, but for some reason, you, baby’s best friend, the one person he’s NOT supposed to be kind, and all that gooey stuff with, makes him want to be nice to you.

doesn’t want to actually carve your face off

he wishes to keep it on your pretty/handsome face :((

lots of meaningless banter —

”your face is dumb”

”yeah? Well you have more wrinkles than my grandmother”

”oh really? Well- your probably not even a natural blond!”

*LE GASP*

HORROR MOVIE MARATHONS. y’all will stay up ALL night watching shitty old horror movies and criticizing it

saying how fake and un real it is

”the gore is so fake, I mean cmon!!”

“…idk, the gore is pretty good, but the acting is shit.”

“You think that’s real gore? Gimme a second sweetheart, LEMMIE go grab my muse. I’ll show you real gore!”

”OTIS NO WHAT ABOUT THE MOVI-“

yeah. You’ll have to clean up all the blood btw.

man is caked in layers of blood, and constantly smells of Pennys and nickels.

ITS SO LATE RN BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE THESE IVE POURED SO MANY HUMAN EMOTIONS INTO THIS-

#otis driftwood #otis driftwood x reader #otis firefly #house of 1000 corpses #house of 1000 corpses x reader #Ask #otis #driftwood #x reader #babys best friend

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buffinbonkers · 5 days ago

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I’m so sick of veil guard defenders main rebuke to any critique being “tHeY dIdn’T eVeN pLaY tHe gAmE”.

Let’s say that’s true, and???? Let’s say they quit 8 hours in, 10 hours, 15, like how long do you require someone to not have a good time before they can say “yeah it was bad imo”. Like your main defense is honestly that they didn’t play long enough? As if it’s their fault? As if it’s the gamers responsibility to force themselves to play a game they’re not liking and not the producers to make an enjoyable game? Idk maybe apply that thinking to any other game and maybe you’ll realize the crazy and break free?

I wrote my review of not recommended at 8 hours in, and most of the reasons why I still agree at 60 hours.

Some of my reasons:

1. I played as a mage and I can only have three attacks, three spells at any given time. And the list of spells i can select from is pathetic it’s like 9 maybe? CONSOLE exclusive games give you more options with R2 and L2. It’s just bewilders me that this is the level of decision making I get.

2. You don’t really make decisions, not like in the past three games. I’m 60 hours in and I recall making two decisions, killing some guy - who to my knowledge doesn’t pop back up, and saving 1 of two cities. Which again to my knowledge hasn’t TRULEY affected anything really besides a grumpy companion and a missing faction. (I know the city was destroyed what I mean is either way - a city was destroyed)

3. Speaking of factions (which I hate but I’ll concede that’s maybe a more me thing) you have to run around to every shop to upgrade specific gear, like found gear, gear, which you can’t craft or dye, you just level it up, hope you find the obscure shop that sells the upgrade (there’s so many fucking shops) or google it I guess.

4. Companions (which you only have two of at a time now - again a personal thing prob) don’t have health, so every fight could hypothetically be cheesed by just running around (which is actually more effective then the terrible dodging system) while they kill the enemy.

THESE THINGS ARE BIZARRE? I think that’s what irks me the most, is that the things that are bad are unique, like they took a perfectly good way of doing things, and just threw it out the window for some reason. I’ve played so many games and I’ve just never seen a degradation from a prior game to a new one like this. And y’all can dislike inquisition all you want, but it won game of the year, and it won it for a reason, even if you personally didn’t like it.

The one thing that I was like okay it’s improved, is the dialogue, but even then there’s some problems:

1. Someone else pointed out that while there may be multiple options there’s too many instances where they all are nice placating. Not ACTUAL options in difference responses.

2. Personal but I hate that they went away with the like pick and choose what you talk about with this person. Like I’ve mentioned OPTIONS?

Another point someone made was that some backgrounds should be limited to race, no historical instance of quanari warden/non-mage dwarf in all mage mourn watch which I think is valid af.

Misc REALLY PERSONAL complaint that isn’t that important:

Most of the adamant defenders I see mention the improved like life like quality of the companions, but I would like to point out that, you can romance them right up to “do you commit” and then when you don’t it’s never mentioned again, they move on to whoever is matched with them. If you’re in the middle of romancing one and then commit to another it also just completely disappears. Doesn’t seem very life like to me - they had dialogue about it since origins. Even in inquisition at least if you decided last minute not to go with Dorian at least he wouldn’t ask you for gift advice for bull??? Again I know this is petty, but like I don’t want to help Lucanis woo neve just cus Emmerich wooed me. WHICH I COULD AVOID IF I COULD CHOOSE. IN A DRAGON AGE GAME?

Ofc I still will be finishing the game and reading the fanfics but that because I’m obsessed with the series it self. But I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who’s not a diehard fan, I’d just steer them toward inq, and then just watch the what happened after on YouTube.

#dragon age veilguard #spoliers #dragon age veilguard spoilers #dragon age inquisition #bioware

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gaybd1 · 11 months ago

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10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 tags

This is cool, thanks for the tag @transuncletaylor! I think I just talk about my faves right? I know I’m forgetting some but here goes

Sokka (ATLA) : he’s so funny and interesting and his character is So Deep actually! I love a guy with Secret Issues. Must be relatable I guess.

Mako (LOK) : You’re going to start seeing I have a type. Hot, bad boy vibes, seems reckless but has a huge sense of justice actually. Also I LOVE a mysterious and tragic backstory.

Jim Kirk (Star Trek) : I mean the exact same reasons as above pretty much.

Jack Kelly (Newsies) : same hehe. I just love these guys of questionable sexuality who are like a leader of a found family and would do ANYTHING to protect them.

Marius Pontmercy (Les Miserables) : he’s annoying af and doesn’t get the point of anything going on around him but he knows exactly what he stands for. So relatable. His hyperfixation with Napoleon for entirely stupid reasons? Iconic. What a king. Living through a tragedy too? I’m attracted to that angst like flies on shit.

Tommy Shelby (Peaky Blinders) : He’s just badass. The best antihero. He says fuck capitalism and then falls victim to it lol. Also he is a GENIUS and loves to fuck people up to protect his family. Also his trauma is delicious to me ofc.

Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher) : Mysterious hero with pain and a family. So yeah.

Roronoa Zoro (One Piece) : I mean pretty much the same as the majority of this list. Tough guy who would die for his captain omfg

Han Solo (Star Wars) : the og baddie, need I say more

Anya Forger (Spy x Family) : listen it creeps ME out too that a little girl is on the list of me, a grown ass man, but she’s SO funny and her cuteness reminds me of like every student I ever had, I can’t help it

ok idk if y’all figured out but I just tag people by typing letters and clicking the first people who show up lol. Anyway if I dont tag you and you wanna do this, go for it. If I tag you and you don’t want to do this, fine.

@ultfreakme @ozais-lobotomist @firenaition @fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma @jovialcloudqueenisnotonfire @kiki-strike @lizardlicks @localgaysian @zukkacore @narrativelysignificantturtleduck

#text

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bomber-grl · 11 months ago

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Leo Valdez x Latina/o reader

₊˚⊹Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x reader (no pronouns/no specific godly parent)

When y’all meet it’s like that one Spider-Man meme

He’s honestly really glad to meet another Latin person, especially if that person ends up his friend and eventually lover.

If you speak Spanish then best believe he gon be speaking to you in Spanish, most times it’s Spanglish but you still understand all the same.

I feel like when people of the same culture/ethnicity meet it’s an automatic click.

So that’s def what happened between the two of y’all.

Now, if you speak Portuguese or anything other than Spanish then lil blud is gonna try to learn your language 😭

I don’t make the rules that’s just how he is.

Doesn’t even matter if he butchers it so badly

(Prolly doesn’t since Portuguese and Spanish are similar (if that’s ur language btw otherwise it’s so bad 😭)

But still 🤷‍♀️

Now, if your latino then best believe y’all gon understand jokes that others don’t

Especially if someone does something dramatic. then you both automatically reference La Rosa De Guadalupe

And then it turns into this whole worm hole on the momo and ballena azul things on those episodes- and it’s a whole other story tbh

(Sorry if ur reading this at night and got scared from the flashbacks)

Anyway, he’s that one person at Latino parties that’s a lot of stereotypes ngl

Like he’ll be that one older cousin that absolutely obliterates the piñata and then runs all cutely to you to give you the candy as if he didn’t push some 5 years olds.

But also that one guy in the table chismeando with the tías

You can’t tell me he isn’t a little chismoso 😭

He’d probs also be the guy that handles the piñata and purposefully move sit out of the way each and every time.

Continuing from that…

He’d def dance w u on the dance floor

Lil blud got them moves

And he def spends the most time w the little kids

No matter where you are 😭

Moving on, if you ever call him an Edgar or sum shit then he’d get so genuinely shocked

Like you absolutely recked him

How dare you?

Especially since his hair isn’t even an Edgar cut 😭

He’d be so hurt but move on (not at all he’d hold it against you)

Ofc lil pookie loves you so let’s move onto the more affectionate hcs

He calls you mamas or mamacita (fem nicknames) 😔

*insert vine boom effect*

Not to mention if you’re male leaning he’d call u some shit like papi chulo or since he’s kinda a nerd and into anime (personal hc) he’d call u senpapi

Like ain’t no way-

Bro is so embarrassing when he says this shit like wtf 😧 nahh git trippin

Nah but (unlike in the books) him calling u this shit is mostly satire

Especially when y’all call eachother the most rancid nicknames so it’s ok 🤷‍♀️

-Sometimes…. *insert that wiener dog side eyeing meme*

It’s fun being w him cuz y’all can just casually talk about whatever that involves your culture.

Like even talking about favorite Latin snacks is an actually convo y’all have had and it’s honestly great.

Especially when he says a word in Spanish cuz he don’t know it in English

bro doesn’t know how to speak in English or Spanish sometimes.

Honestly same

I mean lil broski is glad to have you as his s/o at all

Lil homie desperate

But it’s the icing on top when he finds out your Latino/a

Makes y’all closer and makes him glad he can reference things, knowing that you’ll understand.

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nightcolorz · 1 year ago

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i’m late but for the ask game: armand 6, 8, 25

YIPPIE!! Thank u sm for sending this, I’ve been pretty severely injured lately and I woke up feeling so shit and sad, so getting this notif absolutely made my day. Armand !!! He is my favorite character in anything ever. I have literally never been so insane about a guy before. U picked some great questions so I’m super excited about this.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

I identify strongly with Armand for a lot of weird little reasons. I think the root of it is transgender and autism stuff if I’m honest 😭 Im going to try not to get tooo personal 👍👍 but I will let’s be honest, I will get personal. I can relate to being fetishized and characterized for my sort of androgynous/pretty/boyish appearance while I feel like how I look doesn’t truly reflect who I am as a person. I definitely get the struggle of being demeaned and treated like a child bcus of the juvenile ish appearance transitioning can give you. I also can relate to being demeaned and treated like a child because of my social awkwardness (due to autism) that causes many ppl to assume I’m unintelligent or immature, need to be treated gently or talked to slowly, etc. I see these parts of myself reflected in Armand ofc in different more vampiric ways, and having a character who is infantilized and talked down to while also fetishized and sexually exploited for a perceived innocence that isn’t reflective of who he really is at all, a guy who is also very strange and awkward and doesn’t act right, who is also simultaneously very bad ass (imo lmao) in his shamelessness and his overtly violent and freak of nature attitude, is weirdly very validating and empowering for me, lmao. He is like the weak shameful parts of myself if the weak shameful parts of myself had teeth. 👍👍👍 Yeah 😁😁😁😁 Armand 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

lmfaooo, I’m so happy u picked this one bcus I love complaining and being a hater 😍 I am sorry in advance if I say anything that ruffles any bodies feathers, just bcus I don’t like these things ppl do doesn’t mean I don’t like the ppl who do them, y’all do u I’m not stopping u. Anyways.

I don’t enjoy how a handful of amc exclusive fans characterize Armand, because you can tell they rlly only understand him based on Wikipedia reads and his brief appearance in the show so far, which results in this sort of glaring simplification of his character in fan content. This wouldn’t rlly bother me if not for how prevalent it is 😭 like it’s genuinely difficult for me to find interesting and in character fanfic about Armand bcus so much of it is uniformed. The amc fandom sort of dominates the tvc fandom, it’s just so big. I don’t like when Armand is reduced to Louis’s new scary hot boyfriend/Lestat replacement/potential villain. It feels like he’s often perceived through this lens of a role in the story, like “hm this guy seems like a potential villain”, “no I think he’s a new love interest”, which is a conversation I find no appeal in at all considering you can’t fit the Armand I love into any of these narrative boxes. This isn’t rlly smth I have personal beef with bcus there’s no harm in fans of the show characterizing armand based on there limited knowledge while they wait for the next season, but for me it’s a pet peeve you know, as someone who rlly rlly likes armand a lot 😭.

(This is the exception to my no hate to u if u do this disclaimer btw, all the hate to u). on the subject of amc fans, I also often see this hostility towards fans of book Armand, where I’ll see amc fans talking about how perverse he is conceptually in the books and how gross ppl who like him are, which REALLY makes me very mad, because ok. Listen. Show armand is not a character yet, any and all things you enjoy about armand as of now as someone who hasn’t read the books are 1. How he looks. And 2. Things from the books that you apply to him in a new context. Assad’s performance, the people working on the show, the writers, everything that you base your enjoyment of armand in, is from the books 😭 But god forbid someone enjoy the source material over the hypothetical character who barely exists yet? God forbid someone do the same thing u do (take smth arguably morally dubious and interpret it in a way that u find interesting and compelling while acknowledging the morally dubious source material) just not in the context of an adaption. Ok. God forbid I enjoy and identify with an adult character trapped in the body of a child who is misperceived for his youth and sexually abused, it’s not like this is the same concept of beloved amc Claudia anyway. It’s also not like I am capable of enjoying something while criticizing it and disliking it’s flaws, and coming to conclusions based on critical thinking and analysis of concepts that may have been executed poorly, that I still admire and enjoy, bcus I am capable of complex thinking, and I don’t need to blindly enjoy every part of smth and perceive it as flawless to enjoy it. We all know that’s fake ! Anyways sorry for the angry rant 😭😭😭 moving on.

On a separate note, I also sometimes have beef with how fellow book armand fans portray him. This is small and sort of petty but it bothers me when Armand is drawn as like, very small and skinny. Maybe it’s bcus I head canon him as chubby and sort of cherub-built, maybe it’s bcus in TVA armand describes himself as strong in build and “not waif-ish”, but either or it does feel sort of wrong and off putting when I see Armand drawn as like, so small and petite that it’s emphasized. To me this reads as a missing of the point, if you will. An emphasis on physical qualities representative of innocence and youth that aren’t reflective of Armand’s character, only rlly how some other characters see him. I can often tell when an Armand fan enjoys him for the superficial qualities (eternally young, angelic looking, etc) over who he is, and it always encourages me to steer clear. I hope I’m making sense lol. This is also sometime present in fic but it’s more subtle and difficult to describe. Anyways

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I was thinking about this yesterday! I was first introduced to Armand when I was maybe 11 or 12, my dad put on 94 interview with the vampire for me and my twin sister while he did work around the house etc. he started watching it with us (he loves 94 iwtv) but by the time Armand showed up at the half way point he got up and started doing other things, so my sister and I were alone in front of the screen. For some reason lost to time my sister and I were very excited about seeing Antonio Banderas, maybe because we knew him from Zorro, so in the aftermath of the buffoon scene with Santiago that we found really funny, when Antonio Banderas appeared on screen we were hyped tf up. We were so enthralled in the moment of his cunty ass entrance we started cheering and clapping and screaming 😭 I think shrieking ARMANNNDDD!!!! At the screen (with no knowledge of who armand even was) Till I started laughing to tears is in my top ten formative moments. My first viewing of iwtv was just like that 😭 there was smth in the water that had my sister and I loosing our fucking minds with excitement over that movie. Anyways, I only immersed myself into the fandom and got rlly into tvc just last year, when I read interview with the vampire (smth that’s always been in the back of my mind since my first viewing, I really did love that movie) and then the rest of tvc. When I was reading interview with the vampire I had that subconscious excitement over Armand’s half way point appearance brewing from the get go (every time my sister and I have watched iwtv together since we were 12 we’ve done the same screaming at the screen ritual for armand) so when I was re introduced to him I was instantly attached to him. I very quickly discovered how much I was enthralled by this guy, like by his first appearance and description it went from a weird little nostalgic affection to a “omfg I feel many inexplicably strong feelings for this guy”. He was just so magnetic and weird, I was intrigued by every thing about him, like Louis lol. I started drawing him a bunch b4 I’d even finished the first book, and by the time I was introduced to him in tvl he was my favorite character. Tvl really solidified my armand obsession, and queen of the damned made me the person I am today 😭 insane. I think my impression of him now should be obvious at this point 😔 he is my silliest guy every morning I wake up and he is the first thought in my mind I cry about him daily I worship him like he’s my god sometimes I see a blender and I am so overwhelmed with emotion I want to scream if a professional looked into my brain and saw all the armand in there they’d diagnose me with super mega autism. I like him a lot. 🫶

Thank you sm for sending this ask once again! I’m sorry it’s so long lol, hope my responses were interesting. This is the ask game in question for anyone who may potentially want to send me more asks: https://www.tumblr.com/nightcolorz/734243514562510848?source=share I would cry with joy if so.

#tvc #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #vc #armand #The vampire armand #interview with the vampire #Iwtv #anne rice #Armand iwtv #armand tvc #armand vc #ask game

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kamiversee · 8 months ago

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Fuck being scared for the reader- I'm scared for choso, not because of the 'truths' to be revealed bc I low-key don't think he'll give a fuck bc we quite literally just told him we slept with his abusive brother and he didn't love us any less so..but anyways I'm scared for him bc of the reader when he said "no matter what you tell me, I'll still love you" and then it says this:

"does he understand what he's getting into? Does he understand the gravity of what he just said to you?"

Like..it's giving..

"I'm obsessed with you" (ifykyk🤭)

No but I'm fr scared for this man like Is reader Abt to become obsessively in love Joe Goldberg style or what??😭 (I love me sum Joe😮‍💨)

But the whole situation is completely understandable and I honestly don't think it was as emotional as I thought luckily🙏🏾 and choso feelings are understandable and it's totally normal to be anxious when it comes to sb you love (romantically) especially when you're not in a relationship and you've been told that there was sb else. So naturally you're always gonna be on edge and anxious whether they're gonna be stolen away from you or not bc you truly don't know.

Also I wanna mention how it said:

it feels like the moment with Gojo yet different somehow

It feels different because the situations (talking about the relationships) are different and choso feelings are understandable where you were so entirely confused when it came to gojo.

Lastly. This man choso is such a pookie bear like he's such an emotional and understanding creature of the world where all he wants is the best for his brothers and to be loved as he loves like I honestly wished he found sb better than the reader, someone who could just wholeheartedly love him.

#me😍 #ICOULDTREATYOUBETTERTHANSHECAN!! #lovemechooseme🥹 #imobviouslythebetteroption🙄 #BREAKUPWITYOURGIRLFRIEND!!

(Jk jk, or am I?👀 Hmu choso)

Great observation ngl ^.^

I always say, As Gojo is to the reader, the reader is to Choso (in some aspects ofc bc shes not blackmailing anyone💀)

But honestly, I can’t imagine the reader growing possessive or obsessive with anyone because she doesn’t exactly have that sort of trauma, or a screw loose, that’d lead to said traits. :)

& exactly, things are different because where Gojo constantly confuses her, Choso makes things so clear to her, especially after he explodes as he did.

AND HEY THE READER IS JUST FINE FOR HIM🤨 js lemme cook y’all, you’ll see what I mean soon 😒

#chososactuallymine #backupoffmyemoboyfriend

ALSO THE CHOSO HMU IS KILLING ME PLS😭

#kamiversee!answers

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radgalniya · 8 months ago

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eternal sunshine review

you already knowwww. another album review.

random thoughts:

so the thing is i didn’t have high hopes for this, bc i hated sweetener and people were saying this was like a part 2. and shitting on positions, my favorite ari album, to compare this one. so i’m like i’m gonna hate this. but i am actually so excited bc i like it. i finally have new music to be obsessed w rather than relistening to the same songs over and over.

also just bc i like the album, don’t mean i’m like a homewrecker stan. she gotta chill.

she should’ve kept the red themed cover like i get the message of the new one but it just doesn’t hit the same.

anyways bc i’m a psycopath, i listened out of order bc that’s the only way i can properly listen idk y.

also i love that there’s no musical features

anyways to the review:

intro(end of the world):

it’s a cute lil intro. my everything vibes. 6/10. probably won’t relisten to this one much. but i love how she’s being so honest on this album bc i’m a nosey ass bitch. love when ppl air out their business. more more!

bye:

modern disco viiibes. upbeat. very dancey. but also lyrically it’s very idk not melancholy but like kind of sadish i like that. 7/10. the song is really not my personal taste but it’s really good still.

don’t wanna break up again:

naur he turned up the tv when he heard her crying throw that man in the trash!!! i like this one. i like the melody and lyrics and the chorus is my favorite part of the song. i wish the production was a little more melodic. it only does it for me during the chorus tbh. but i like this song. 8/10 “but i just can’t refuse” in the chorus sounds like the “im finding ways to stay concentrated on what i gotta do” in die for you by the weeknd.

saturn returns interlude:

idk man some woman talking what do you want me to say. isn’t it weird that this is the only track with capital letters tho?

eternal sunshine:

i really hate trap beats tbh. but ik it’s like ari’s signature now. but ick. it’s a bop tho for sure. but not really my taste. i only really like it bc the lyrics. i just love ppl telling their business y’all i’m not kidding. 7/10

supernatural:

AHHHHHH BITCHCHHHH YESSSS THIS IS WTF i’m TALKIN ABOUT THIS IS POP BITCH YESSS 100000/10 i love the modern 80s pop vibe and the chorus is so perfect w/ the beat. it just rides man i love this song. i’d love this album JUST for this song.

true story:

so 90s love it. very aaliyah beat. i love a good 90s r&b moment so ofc this is an automatic like even if the chorus isn’t that catchy. idk ig i just feel like pop should have catchy melodies and/or an infectious beat. y’know? also she ate w/ the belting at the end. 8/10

the boy is mine:

YASSSSSSS. again we know i love a 90s vibe. the slowdown right before the chorus is insaane. and the choral style harmonies on the “is” of the boy is mine scratches something in my brain as well as the “gotta be a reason why” robotic voice thing. this is so catchy. this is totally a fantasize vibe. so good. 10/10

yes and?:

i dont have it in me to keep defending this song from u vultures. AND i wish she put the mariah carey version on the album too 8/10 and no i will not be explaining myself further y’all are gonna make me cry.

we can’t be friends (wait for your love):

feel i’m getting an 80s vibe again. i like it. i’m loving the upbeat music, sadish vibe lyrics thing going on in this album. i like the vibe of this song a lot. i do wish something in here was more catchy. but i like it. it’s so soft and wistful almost. that’s probably why i’ll relisten. conjure up some interesting maladaptive daydreams w/ this one. 7/10 edit: i watched the video now i like it more. 8/10 lol

i wish i hated you:

it’s very vulnerable. again i’m nosey so i like that. but the song is eh for me. i don’t think this is a song i’d listen to for the music but more for the vibe. 6/10

imperfect for you:

i looooove it. a little weird melodically but i love it. just scratches something in my brain it’s so good. so catchy. 10/10

ordinary things:

it’s good. not one of my favorites but the more i listen, the more i like it. i love the way she pronounces ordinary in here lol. 7/10

okay that’s all really

p.s. i feel like why try from my everything would fit in here idk. this album feels like a perfect combination of all of her others, it’s so weird how that works out. i love it tho. pleasantly surprised!!

#chronicles of niya #music #ariana grande #eternal sunshine #album review

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kgbird · 1 year ago

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Did I tell y’all that my class did a “superlatives” thing? Like I never had that in high school or college or anything. But sga sent a google form out n asked people to vote stuff for other classmates.

And I was like ok another popularity contest. And I briefly worried that I would be nominated as greasiest, ugliest, weirdest, worst fashion/style, etc.

But they ended up doing one for everybody which whatever. And none of them were hateful so that’s something.

Mine was “most mysterious.” Like ofc I don’t care but I was like just say you don’t know me and let me go home. Its just a less rude way to call me the weirdest.

Other peoples had cute drawings on theirs and what not. I got scribbles and “the payback on yt” and I really don’t think it’s the James brown song. There’s a channel by that name but it is odd and has very few subs. And I srsly cant think of anything I’ve done to any of my classmates like I’ve never been mean to them or done smthn sneaky or literally anything. So I didn’t think that’s what they meant by payback. Also there was a picture of sunglasses and the yt channel uses those same glasses. I haven’t watched the vids but they look odd and maybe true crime which I don’t even like so I really don’t know. Insight welcome.

But anyway I would have preferred to have not gotten anything at all frankly. They didn’t have to include everybody. Just let it be the popularity contest it’s supposed to be. At least I didn’t overtly get called out and ik I’m the only person who remembers it.

Like I know I’m weird and off-putting and awkward in social situations but I mean… whatever idk what I expected

What’s weird is that I know at least two people who put me in for “best music taste” which was super sweet and that’s what I gotta focus on is the people who DO care to know me. But like if two people said that, why did you just… not use that? And instead actually think and work to come up with something to deliberately jab me. And the YouTube channel like idgi.

Kevin got most likely to answer every question correctly and idk why everyone loves him even tho he’s just as awkward as I am. Anyone I’ve talked to abt it says it’s bc he’s a guy. Like literally my therapist was like the hades gif “he’s a GUY!”

Mackenzie got “most likely to work in the ER” which, she hates the ER. But that is what she did for hours and I guess that’s the only thing ppl know abt her. I def think the two of us are on the bottom of the totem pole, but it doesn’t matter really cause it’s no big deal in the grand scheme, and this year I won’t be seeing anyone anyways. Plus there’s not as clearly defined social strata like high school.

Lowkey Mackenzie was trying to get in on my pity party about how no one cares about her either. And on one hand true igi but the other I was like,,, at least they knew SOMETHING about you to say… so let me have this lol.

So it’s whatever idc but I’m afraid that when I finish this rotation and any of my classmates get assigned to the office I’m at now… technically we’re not supposed to talk about each other in the clinical setting but. I have a feeling that one nurse in particular would talk to this theoretical classmate of mine and whoever it is will dump on me or whatever.

And I don’t dislike the nurse he’s just a kid so whatever but he’s also super smart in the same way kevin is. But even the other nurses or the other providers or anything! I KNOW I’ll never hear from them again but I’m scared that they’ll all talk about how weird I am. Or, to a slightly lesser degree, they’ll like my classmate a lot more than they like me and think they’re smarter than me and better w patients and not such a little crybaby. I really try to be nice at word and all that but I literally can’t help being weird like I’ve tried to be normal, but it’s so stressful bc I’m afraid people will see through it.

And I know: so what if people you’ll never see again think you’re weird? What’s the worst that could happen/whats it to you? And idk how to answer that because short of failing the rotation, that feels like the worst thing that could happen. Like if there was something I could actively do to prevent that I would. But like I said when I try, I get extremely stressed and frustrated and overwhelmed and depressed. Idk ig if the yt thing makes any sense to you, lmk.

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the-one-and-only-aroace · 1 year ago

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(Don’t read this if you want to avoid negativity in any way please, this is a very negative vent. Also I would personally prefer is only biracial/specifically part white people interact, if anyone does, because this is not meant to be educational in any way, and I just need to express how fucked up this is)

So a couple months ago, my cousin Christie had a son Parker. Either soon before or after, she visited us. My grandma, mother, her, sister and I were in the same room, on the same couches. Christie, my grandma, and mom are all white as crackers. My sister and I are biracial. Christie’s baby daddy was East Asian.

We’re all talking, mainly about Parker, because motherhood and shit. That’s what women do. Christie randomly says “I was worried he would look asian” out of the blue, because my family’s kinda shitty and racist. No one comments on this, despite my mom and grandma having full opportunity to do so. Whatever, they probably don’t care that much, and arguing isn’t fucking worth it. The conversation moves on, and she leaves.

My mom says nothing. She usually doesn’t elaborate on her family saying racist nonsense, cuz we know it’s wrong, and no one needs to point this out. However, this is a fucking big deal, at least to me, being biracial and all. My uncle complaining about black peoples doesn’t affect me, but my mom letting my cousin talk about biracial appearances, obviously praising the whiter end of the spectrum. And she doesn’t bother saying, “hey, I didn’t think about that when I was pregnant with y’all”, or even “I don’t agree with that line of thinking anymore”.

My fathers extremely dark skinned, by all means, we could’ve been that dark skinned. I’m left thinking, did my mom worry about the same? Did she want us to look white? Did part of her love depend of the racial ambiguity of our appearance? Was she happy we turned out lighter skinned? Did she want us lighter? Does she still care about our appearances like that? Is there a part of my mother that hates how I look? Does she fucking hate me?

And ofc she hasn’t fucking said anything. She probably didn’t even notice what Christie said. She’s forgotten it by now. I can’t bring it up, especially with thanksgiving soon. Any chances getting some comfort out of this is long gone.

#vent #biraciality is fucking isolating #who would have guesses

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commanderquinn · 1 year ago

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Good Space Chapter 1: Flower

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

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She’s the one good thing about trips to medical in the Avenger’s Tower.

Every other day, at her direct insistence, her lab is the only place in the entire wing that he’s willing to go to. It smells warm and safe, nothing like the antiseptic that makes him want to break a limb. For the first two weeks, he tries to tell her that she doesn’t have to do this. He’s been looking after the link from his arm to his brain for years. There’s never been a problem with it that he couldn’t handle, and he’ll come back if anything ever feels off. No matter how much Steve hovers, she doesn’t need to waste her time on this.

By the start of the third week, he can’t bring himself to suggest that anymore.

—

psa: there’s some gross ass (sometimes detailed) nazi medical shit all through this fic, so if lobotomy talk of any kind is a no for you, skim over any brain talk. your best bet is just to skip the lab scenes where you can ❤️

fic title is a song by skrillex! we needed bouncy shit that vague hinted at plot. the chapter title is a moby song to lay out the v i b e s 👾 im always going to list these, so y’all have a song to listen to while reading

all i can think that needs to be said for canon clarity (ill make it all clear over time dw) is post-WS buckaroo got picked up by steve and sam to be taken for a shower and therapy. no civil war, no age of ultron. we're taking parts of it and doing other shit, you'll see. fury’s publicly alive and director again, shield got flushed out because mmmmm i said so i guess. no red room here. its not about nat, the lack of consent history hanging between them isnt something i want with this. i want to focus on other parts of their trauma bond. alsomaybeishipnatwithsomeoneinthis.

im sorry, but i never started wanda content on my end, and AI jarvis is comfy nostalgia i want to play in, so likely not a lot for her here. yes, we will be having shuri bully bucky, ofc, she’s the pin that holds this whole plot together (what else is new)

oh and i treat bucky’s arm as more of an atompunk feel rather than “the nazi’s had bleeding edge limb tech in ww2 that only affects bucky’s arm, definitely not anything else”

other than that, we’re firmly in good ‘ol stark tech magic and too many open wiki pages for all my plot device needs

also my grammar aint the good. i write these mf's in my spare time while baked af, you're gonna have to give a bitch a break babes 👾

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Febuary 17th, 2018

"That's not what I'm asking about."

Tony throws up his hands from the other side of the conference table, then lets them smack back down against the polished surface dramatically. "Illuminate me then, Rogers. I'm running out of ways to explain that she's the best I've got to offer for this."

Steve pushes a hand through his hair with a frustrated huff. "I'm not a brain surgeon."

"No shit, that's what she's here for."

"I meant that I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at."

"Now I know you're worried if you're willing to," Tony clutches at the front of his shirt in mock horror, "swear in public." Pepper smacks his shoulder without even looking up from her tablet. The sight would make Steve smile under normal circumstances.

"You can hand me any resume you want, Tony. I'm telling you that I won't be able to see a difference. I know you're giving me a team who can do the work; I'm asking if they can do it while it's Bucky."

"Are you worried about his safety or theirs?" Pepper asks, finally looking over. Her tone isn't judgemental. If anything, it's veering towards the gentleness it has when she's talking Tony down.

"I'm not worried about theirs. I will be there every time. Even if he has a bad day, I'll make sure that—look. Nothing's going to happen. It's just...." Steve flips open the folder he's been carrying for a week. The edges of it are starting to wear down at this point. Sighing, he slides his summary notes to their side of the table. "He still doesn't... he doesn't talk about the previous escapes. No matter what his therapist tries. He just can't bring himself to do it. But it's not hard to get a clear picture of what used to happen. He does this every time. He builds himself a strong house, then a fallback point, and then he goes to work trying to fix all the damage alone, which he'll never be able to do. No one could. And there's not going to be a goon squad rolling in to drag him back anymore, so he's just going to—"

"Yeah, yeah, push him to help him; I grasped the concept the first hundred times," Tony cuts in. If he weren't so damn anxious, Steve might honestly feel bad about being so far up everyone's ass over this. "You've got me on board. So, what's the concern here? Will she quit the first time he bites her head off? That's a pretty chauvinist perspective, especially coming from you."

"She's had to put up with Tony long enough to befriend him; that should be proof enough." Pepper smiles as the nightmare himself points toward her in silent agreement.

Steve raises his hands amicably. "I'm not trying to insult anyone's professionalism. I'm sure she's had more than her fair share of problem patients to get where she is today. I'm... I'm more asking if—Christ. I'm sorry in advance, alright? But... Tony, I need you to look me in the eye and tell me that you'd have trusted her to get you home."

A stiff, all-consuming silence falls over the spare meeting room. Pepper and Steve waiting on bated breath; Tony frozen as he looks back at him with an expressionless face.

Steve despises himself for doing this to him. The knowledge of what happened in that cave is something the man is unimaginably protective over. It took years—and a night of blackout drinking on Tony's end—for the story to even slip out of him. Talking about Yinsen is the only time Steve's seen him cry that he can remember. It was just one overflow, barely even two tears that got scrubbed off his cheeks within the first minute, but it was there. It's the only way Steve knows to get his point across.

Tony looks down at the table and adjusts his posture. His head shifts and his lips purse in that signature move of his, the one that comes up when he's forced to be a person. With feelings. Pepper's arm moves, no doubt taking his hand under the table.

He looks back up, meeting Steve's eyes as his posture relaxes. "I wish they could have met. I think Yin would have gotten a kick out of her fashion taste. I think she'd have gotten an even bigger one out of putting him in it."

It's the most ringing endorsement he's ever heard the man give. More importantly, Steve knows just how much weight sits behind the guarded words.

—

"I've got their personnel files if you want them. They all volunteered them to you willingly."

"I'm alright."

"Do you want their names ahead of time?"

"No."

"Not even their first ones?"

"They can tell them to me."

"Okay."

"...."

"...What are they?"

"The ones that'll be behind the glass are Hannah and Wyatt." Of course Steve knows to start there, where his nerves will fixate the most. Asshole. "You probably won't even talk to the two of them today, but your main doctor for this will definitely offer to let you. Her name is Ava. She's going to check in with you for confirmation on a lot of things before she does them. I shadowed her for over a week, asshole. It's not about you; she does it for everyone."

Bucky grunts. "I wouldn't have jumped on her for it."

"No, you'd have sat there brooding like a petulant jackass instead, probably making her feel bad." Steve pauses for a long moment, fiddling with the paper coffee cup in his hands. "You should read Hannah's file, Buck."

"Why?" He shouldn't ask. He can hear the motive sitting in his best friend's voice. It's a fucking trap, and he fucking knows it, but he also can't stop himself.

"Her last name is Schuster."

He absolutely despises the way the situation makes his gut clench. They're dead. They're all dead, and the ones in their place have been declawed for much longer than he's been off ice. He's probably not even going to talk to the woman, at least not today. He might catch the sight of a name on a coat, however. Or on a chart.

He wanted to do this without letting old habits in. He wanted to at least start this feeling like a person, not a weapon. But he gets why the dickhead is trying to baby-step him into it.

Bucky holds out his hand. Steve silently passes him the tablet he keeps. Neither of them says a word as he reads the SHEILD file to himself, line by line. Taking in a stranger's entire professional life. Her family, her known associates, every residence she's ever held. It takes a moment of hovering his finger over the subfolder with her medical records to talk himself down from opening it. Nothing is lingering in those shadows; Steve wouldn't allow it. That's not a line he needs to cross anymore.

He hands it back when he's done. "The other two?"

"Nothing I could think of. Ava's seen your hard limit list—you remember I told you I was gonna give it to one of your—?"

"I remember. It's okay. That's why you have it."

"Yeah." Steve takes another long pause. "You remember that she knows—"

"I know."

"Good. The others don't. She says they don't need to for any of it, and it's never going on record again." He looks over out of the corner of his eye. "She's going to bring it up today."

"I had a hunch."

"I just wanted to make sure it didn't surprise you."

"I know."

"Good." Steve picks up his coffee to drain the last of it in one swig. He tosses the empty cup into a trashcan by the wall a few tables over before looking back at him. He extends his now-empty hand. "Ready?"

"Not in the fucking least." Bucky raises his hand to lock with his best friends momentarily. "Let's go."

There's no wing in this tower—and he's been through all of them by now—that he dislikes more than medical. The place makes his skin feel like a thousand goddamn spiders are crawling all over him, and the smell of it, fuck. It sits in his head like a fog while it burns up the inside of his nose, making him want to break anything touching any part of him. He'd make Steve be here with him no matter what; that's a given. But the fact that there's going to be a doctor poking at him today while he's trying to power through it all makes the guy's presence non-negotiable. Bucky needs the safety net for the good of everyone in that room.

Steve doesn't try for talking to distract him, mercifully enough. There are times when it helps. Today isn't going to be one of them. He doesn't even have to bring it up for Steve to know, and the reminder that he's understood helps his nerves. It's been an incredibly long time since he had an incident. He's proud of every last one of those days. He won't be upset with himself—well. He'll try not to be upset with himself if that streak ends. But he really, really wants that day not to be today.

Bucky treats it like a mission. He's braced and ready for the antiseptic when they first get through the entrance. He doesn't flinch or huff through his nose at the invasion, not even as they make their way to the specialized divisions. He's walked these hallways before; he's walked every single one in the tower. It was the only way he could get himself to sleep during his first week here. Aside from a few trips to the emergency intake, he hasn't had to force himself back.

He's definitely never bothered with meeting the specialists themselves. It took long enough to convince himself not to memorize the names of every staff member in the tower. He doesn't need to do that anymore. That's what his therapist and the Star Spangled Spandex keep insisting, anyways.

The door Steve goes for sticks out against the sleek hallway long before they reach it. It's painted, and not just a solid color; it's covered with a garden scene done by several different hands, going by the skill variation. Bucky runs his thumb over one of the hundreds of flowers as they walk past it to feel how thick the tiny acrylic mountains are. One of the petals cracks under the light pressure of the move, making him frown. The mural's not sealed at all, despite being long dried. Not the kind of thing maintenance usually overlooks.

An absolute shock of color hits Bucky's eyes when he gets his first look at the neurosurgeon's office. The walls he can spot from this side of the entryway are lined with tie-dye hanging cloths, and the floor is covered in fluffed-up, vibrant rugs. There's not a hint of SHIELD regulation left in the architecture, with all the walls that aren't glass holding even more heavy paint globs. Some of the murals are more flowers, but a majority of them are space themed.

The stench of antiseptic fades the farther into the room Bucky goes. By the time the door shuts behind him, it's entirely replaced with the warm aroma of apples and cinnamon. A long, curved desk is off to one corner, pushed against the glass wall overlooking the city and covered in picture frames. An arrangement of chairs piled with pillows matching the rest of the decor sits in the center. Each one of them is fucking massive.

The room itself is separated in half by a thick glass wall. He can spot two doctors sitting behind an array of equipment on the other, equally decorated side behind the glass. There isn't any creative paint in there from what he can spot. If it weren't for that, he could almost forget that he's standing in a medical lab.

Almost.

"Hi there," comes a voice to his right.

The woman it belongs to almost blends in with the office once Bucky turns his head to look at her. The lab coat that comes down to her knees is a solid blue rather than tye-dye, but it's covered in stitched designs. Most of them are shaped like bees. Bucky barely stops his eyebrows from raising at the sight of the outfit underneath. Loose cloth pants hanging low on her hips, with even more bees on them, and a hand-knit top that would have been called obscene during most of the decades he woke up in. The bun she's pulled her hair into must have been done this morning; more than a few bundles are hanging down haphazardly. Bucky hasn't met a lot of brain surgeons that he knows of, but he doesn't remember any of them having glasses as thick as hers. He's pretty sure that good vision is something most of them need for the job. Not that he's nervous.

She walks over with a warm smile, already extending a hand to him. She's a short, round little thing. Barely five feet, if his guess is accurate. It always is. "I'm Dr. Ryder. You can call me Ava. I'm told you're my newest patient."

He accepts the shake with a nod and tries not to think about how sweaty his hand might feel to her. Wiping it against his pants would have been too weird. "James."

"But you prefer Bucky, right?"

"Yes, ma'am. Ava," he corrects himself quickly.

"Oooh, someone's stepped on some toes in the new century." Her smile takes on a teasing edge. "I'm originally from Canada; you won't find me taking offense. Ingrained cultural manners are a bitch to hold back."

"Careful, they're the only manners he's got," Steve warns, already heading for one of the chairs.

"Ignore him. I'm house-trained," Bucky assures her. Taking his hand back, he hikes a thumb over his shoulder, needing something to stall with. "You sure you don't want someone to give your door a few clear coats? It'd be a shame to see all that work chip off."

Ava waves dismissively. "We redo it a lot; it's a relaxation project around here. It'll look different pretty soon." She points toward the glass wall separating the two halves of the office. "I've got the rest of the team working on a project to give us some space, but I can bring them in for a minute if you'd like to meet them?"

"I'm... I'm alright for now, thanks. I can meet them—whenever."

She doesn't insist further or comment on the blatant nerves in his voice. Her hand waves at the arranged chairs as she moves to sit in one. "Take your pick of the lineup, then. Typically I'd offer to take you to the corner of the roof that we've claimed for ourselves as an alternative. But, I need to keep you in environmental controls for sanitation, at least for the initial visit."

Bucky nods a few times as he sits in the one next to Steve's. His ass sinks nearly a foot into nothing but pillows, and his spine goes rigid. "Here's fine."

He'd have said no anyways, not that he'll mention that. Too many open sight lines with his anxiety on edge. He'll be revisiting the roof before his next appointment to familiarize himself, though, that's for sure. His last trip up there was long before she was even hired. The mental image of bead strings and tye-dye throw blankets on patio furniture flits through his head. If she decorates the same way everywhere, he's guessing it won't be all that hard to find the space.

Ava pulls up a tablet from the coffee table to rest in the middle of her folded legs. He's guessing she's into yoga in her spare time. One of her eyebrows arches at them in amusement. "You know, I've never actually seen someone fill one of these before now."

"The benefits of dosed living," Steve quips, his tone a little too positive. It makes Bucky's foot start to bounce silently against the floor on instinct.

If she notices, the doctor doesn't mention it as she focuses on Bucky. "Steve tells me you prefer when doctors keep things direct with you."

Bucky shifts his eyes over to the man in question, who busies himself with one of the pillows, picking at the hanging fringe. Fucker's going to be hearing about this later, that's for damn sure.

He looks back at Ava.��Time to get it over with, he encourages himself. "Yeah, if you don't mind."

"Not at all. I know Steve's already told you, but I want you to hear it from my mouth. I have The Soldier's activation memorized."

He can't stop the gut instinct to swallow over hearing the words, but he nods. "I'm okay with it."

"It's not in any of my notes; it never will be. My team understands that there is a specific trigger in place; they need to in order to do their job. But they have no indication of what it is. I'll never write the words out or speak them where they can be picked up. Steve helped me with the pronunciation and the order when he first gave me your records, but you have my word that I won't be repeating them."

"You should," Bucky insists immediately. "If anything happens, you should, and you shouldn't hesitate about it."

"She knows, Buck," Steve assures him with a murmur. "I took her through the worst case drill. She's got a panic button on her."

"Steve tells me that my reaction time is fast enough for working on your case safely." Ava's head tilts to the side slightly. "Your comfort is the priority here. We can always run through a silent drill together if you'd like the reassurance."

He thinks about it. Honest to god, he lets himself sit in the idea of putting Steve's training to the test for more than a few moments. Neither of them push him for an answer. "I might take you up on that at some point."

She nods, the hair hanging closest to her face bouncing slightly. "Whenever you want. That offer is permanent. I'm taking this case on because I want to help undo what's been done; I'm not here to let it be continued, not even in research." Her eyes shift to Steve, with a bitter defiance building in them. "I trust that'll be clarified to the director if our work here ever reaches his ears, captain."

Steve nods, finally looking up from where he's moved on to picking at the pillow's stitches. "There's no more mud in that water. Fury understands how far over the line we went."

Ava doesn't look convinced in the least. Bucky doesn't blame her, not with the scattered memories of his role in all of it sitting in his head. When she looks back at him, the distrust leaves her eyes. "I'd like to get a better idea of what we'll be working with. I know that's probably going to be one of the most difficult parts of this, so we can try to get through it now if you'd like. Or we can wait until you're feeling more comfortable. It's entirely up to you."

Shifting slightly to straighten out his shoulders, Bucky nods. "I'm ready now."

It's an outright lie, but that doesn't really matter anymore. There's never going to be a time when he is ready. He still needs to do this.

"I'm going to need to adjust your head a few times today," she tells him with a relaxed, melodic tone as she stands up. She lifts a black briefcase from the coffee table and brings it over to rest on the arm of his chair, where he can easily see it being handled. "Is there anywhere you'd prefer me putting my hands? Or anywhere specific you want me to avoid?"

Bucky sees Steve shift his head slightly in his peripheral and wants to roll his eyes. Asshole. He'd have made a joke at the most; he wouldn't have been insulted. Probably. "I can't think of anywhere to steer you away from. You're good to do whatever you need to do."

She doesn't take him into the other section of the room like he thought she would. She doesn't even make him stand back up. All it takes to get the nightmare he's been dreading for years started is Ava pulling a wired, plastic wreath from the briefcase to put over the top of his head. She doesn't push a cold faceplate over his eye and against his temples; no bite guard gets shoved in his mouth. There's no frigid metal probing into the top of his neck to make his teeth buzz until he wants to rip them out of his jaw. The air around him isn't humid and suffocating like it was in that bunker. He can't hear the hum of electric coils or the squeak of leather boots on linoleum.

He's not in Siberia. He's in New York. This isn't a HYDRA agent strapping him down. This is a hippie, who definitely smoked pot this morning, putting a sensor on his head that barely has any weight.

"Here, hold this for me," she tells him from behind his chair, offering her tablet over his shoulder. He takes it silently, bringing it to rest in both hands. A digital scan of his brain is already being mapped out on the screen. It's the first time he's seen the anchor that wraps around his brainstem since the X-rays HYDRA used to leave up like trophies. "We can get a look at this thing together."

Bucky takes a deep breath in. It's… not a pretty sight. Whatever they put in him isn't registering in the bright blue lights of the rest of his brain. They're all dark spots, primarily lines branching out from the anchor that might as well be a black hole.

"You see that?" Ava leans forward to run her nail up the path of one of the lines. It starts at the anchor, and it's attached to another point further up, but that junction is the source of even more lines that go all over. There's a fucking mechanical spider web in his brain. "That's your motor cortex, and those links are tethered to your arm, starting there. That—the one right there—is what's making your cybernetics work."

"What's the rest of it?" There's a fucking lot of it, whatever it is. A lot more than he remembers being put in.

"Considering the intent of the Nazis that had you, the end goal was probably total control." Her finger moves, tapping several things that look way too fucking important as she keeps talking. "All of those there are connected to your essential functions: breathing, heart rate, consciousness. From there, they branched out into trying for control over your limbs. Jesus." She leans further over his shoulder and pinches at the screen to zoom in. "It looks like they were already building into your entire cognitive process."

"What does that mean?" Steve asks, worry rising in his tone.

"It means they were reckless on top of being cruel. And fucking stupid—pardon my French."

"You're talking to soldiers, doc," Bucky reminds her quietly, his brows drawn in as his eyes trace the black spots in his grey matter.

"Right. In that case, fuck every last one of them and the horses they rode... into whichever circle of hell they're burning in, I guess." Bucky's lips twitch slightly as she zooms back out. "They were venturing into parts of the brain that haven't been studied enough for human testing, even by today's standards. Blindly poking just to see what worked; my guess is because they knew that you could survive it. You see that big scary thing under your hippocampus?"

Bucky nods as she taps at the anchor. "Yeah. Yeah, that was… that was the first part. That got put in, I mean." He clears his throat when it starts to scratch. "I'm. I'm pretty sure it was the first part."

"Do you want to know why you don't feel sure?" she asks gently. Her voice has dropped to something much softer. It makes him sit back in the overly comfortable chair incrementally.

"Yeah," he tells her quietly, honestly. He wouldn't have a year ago.

Ava circles her finger around the center of his brain, where one of the more prominent lines from the anchor holds several thinner, black branches. "That's your limbic system. It controls emotion, memory, behavioral habits, that kind of thing. They fried it at some point trying to get to your memories, I assume. My team has the photograph from your HYDRA file, the one with the X-ray from your initial brain surgery. I've studied it with my own eyes. That serum in your bloodstream is the only thing that brought you back from being a vegetable. The salvaged notes from the initial facility they kept you in mention months of unresponsiveness and varying levels of brain activity.

"There's a reason you can't remember who you were then, Bucky. They wiped you clean because they knew you, out of all their test subjects, could recover from it. There wasn't enough left of your mind to hold memories, much less any kind of higher will." He hears her clothes shuffle behind him and sees Steve turn his head to look back at her from the corner of his eye. "I'm more than willing to testify to that in any court on Earth, captain. So we're clear."

"Understood," Steve replies, his voice thick. "I appreciate that."

Fuck, so does Bucky. Too bad he can't get his throat to open back up at the moment.

"Now, let's talk about the hard part." He hears Ava sigh. "From what I can see, there's no way we can remove any of this. Not by any standard that I'm willing to entertain, at least."

Bucky shakes his head and tries clearing his throat again. It doesn't feel anywhere near as successful this time around. "That's fine. I don't—I don't think I'd… I wouldn't be ready for that. I just want to know it's not…."

"Capable of being controlled remotely?" she offers when he trails off.

"Yeah. Aside from the code. I don't—that's not a problem. They're dead. Anyone else that had it, I mean." Christ, his foot's going to bounce straight out of his boot, right through the leather.

"I can't make any kind of assurances at this stage when it comes to that. But you have my word that it will be my team's primary focus." Her hand pulls back, and he feels four of her fingertips lightly rest on his shoulder. "I'd prefer to check that connection point they left over your spinal cord before you leave today, but the rest of what we need for diagnostics can wait until another time."

Bucky pulls in a heavy breath through his nose. "Yeah. I'm ready to do that."

"I need to get a few things for it and check in with my team." She taps at the side of the wreath lightly. "You don't have to keep looking at the scan, but you should leave this on while I'm gone so we can get some basic readings."

"You're the boss, doc." He tries not to make it look like he's in a hurry to get the thing out of his hand when he dumps the tablet on his leg.

"I'll be back in just a bit," she tells them, calmly shuffling off into the other half of the office. The glass door hisses loudly as she goes through it, confirming it's a sterile lab. The wall frosts over shortly after with the privacy screen activating.

Neither of them says a word for the first few minutes.

"Well," Steve finally offers up, his voice still as thick as when he thanked the doctor. "There's the confirmation you've been waiting for."

"That's not what that was—"

"Alright, you know what? Fuck you very much, Buck—"

"Fuck me? Fuck me? Yeah, I guess that's how it works now, what with you making alll the fucking calls—"

Steve's finger comes sailing into his face. "This affects more than just—" He stops with a short, muted groan and yanks his hand back to shove through his hair. After a moment, he lets it fall to his thigh in a clenched fist. "You want to sit here blaming yourself for it all, fine. I've got no right to tell you to stop when I'm still doing the exact same thing. But I'm pulling you through this whether," his voice goes high and mocking as he turns to glare a hole into the side of Bucky's head, "yooou like it or not. I let you fall once; I'm not fucking doing it again, asshole."

Bucky stares down a lava lamp sitting on the coffee table for a long, silent moment, his face pinched. He counts the number of wiggling blobs floating from the top to the bottom. He takes in their shared color and picks as close to a stupid paint name for it as possible. One by one, his photographic memory goes down the list of stupid colors from that stupid swatch wall at the stupid art supply store that Steve takes him to when he can't sleep at three in fucking the morning. He decides on fuchsia because it sounds extra stupid. There're twelve in total, they're fuchsia, and his best friend is as stupid as the name of their color.

The anger eventually eases up. "You're the asshole."

Steve sits back in his chair with a sigh. "Love you, too."

It takes a long minute of grinding his teeth for Bucky to force out the question that won't stop echoing in his head. "She doesn't know about the others?"

"She knows there were other attempts, but no, I didn't tell her any of them were successful. I left my notes in her file on what's been held back from her, along with the things she knows that her team doesn't. You can tell her whatever you want; that's up to you. I really think you should read through all of their files."

"Yeah?" Bucky snaps mockingly. "I really think you should kiss my ass."

Steve reaches out to grab one of the magazines from a stack on the coffee table. His posture is resigned and absolutely screaming I know better than you right now, idiot. "You should grow the fuck up."

—

There's no way the notes from HYDRA cover all his surgeries, not with this much framework built up inside his brain.

Steve warned her to expect something like this. The bastards passed Bucky around like a science experiment over the decades. Whenever a station was compromised, all of its records were destroyed to safeguard HYDRA's critical secrets, the work and confirmed existence of the Winter Soldier being one of them. Only a handful were raided by SHEILD efficiently enough to prevent further loss of his medical history. What remains is the scattered works of solitary minds spanned across decades.

In Ava's opinion, not one of those minds should have been granted the mercy of seeing daylight again after their senseless, abhorrent, despicable crimes against the sergeant. Never in her life has she been a violent woman, but given a blunt object and five minutes with the lot of them, she'd have been very tempted to rebalance nature with ruthless gusto.

A hand nudges at her arm, pulling her from her distraction with a quick inhale. "Sorry, repeat that?"

Wyatt's eyebrows pull in sympathetically. "Y'can hand this part off to one of us, boss."

"You can hand it off to him," Hannah interrupts briskly, her eyes never moving from where they're pressed against a microscope.

"Y'can hand it off to me," Wyatt rapidly corrects with a warm smile. He drums his stylus against his arm and leans against the lab's center console. The movable hologram program Tony gifted them is already building detail into one of the darkest acts in human history. Right there, in front of one of the most gentle souls Ava's ever met. The contrast makes her stomach drop. "I mean it; y'know me, I got a real sweet touch. Betch'a the sergeant wouldn't even know I'd been there til it was over."

"Don't make me say it, Combs." Hannah almost sounds bored. The former marine is in a good mood today.

Wyatt doesn't even bother with throwing a quip back at her. He's usually wise enough to know when he's in a losing battle. Reaching out, he gives Ava's shoulder a supportive bump. "You said so yourself; he's alright with meetin' us."

Ava shakes her head, bringing her hand up to rub at the bridge of her nose. Her eyes are stinging hard enough to make them water. She shouldn't have pulled an all-nighter before this; it definitely isn't helping her frustration. "He's okay with it; that doesn't mean he's ready for it. You should see the way he's practically vibrating in that chair. There's not one part of this he isn't forcing himself through. I want to try to limit contact until he feels like he's in control of the space around him."

"That won't take long," Hannah comments quietly, reaching for another slide. "There are certain habits infiltrators don't lose."

"Speakin' from your own experience on that one?" Wyatt asks, curiosity creeping into his tone. Their eternal beacon of southern sunshine has yet to give up chasing details about her, unlike everyone else who visits their little medical corner.

"Infiltrator is not the classification I would have given myself. I was never very subtle in my old line of work."

"Yeah, 'cause subtle's definitely the word I'd pick for your blunt ass now." Wyatt rolls his eyes and extends his hand to rapidly spin the projection of Bucky's brain with the flick of a stubby finger. "Either'a you looked at these trenches much yet? There's different cablin' in every major section. None of it's got a set standard, far as I can tell."

"I don't think he ever had the same doctor for more than two surgeries." Ava leans heavily against the console with a sigh, trying not to let herself venture into the mindset of a terrified soldier. She has to stay detached, or this will eat her alive before they're even halfway done. The enlarged hologram already hurts to look at in more ways than one. "Steve confirmed that HYDRA intermittently lost sections of his records through the years. All of this could be fractured by the decades; we won't know until Paige starts getting a read on the programming behind that main port."

"How do you want us to handle data transfer?" Hannah asks.

"Let's keep this off our internal server as much as we can help it. Tony sectioned off a virtual instance that we can burn when needed, but the only time you should be using that is for his scans. Put everything else on an isolated hard copy here in the lab, wherever you can do it without hindering the work. I want the equipment analysis kept as off-record as possible. I don't want this being recreated. By anyone."

"Definitely agreein' with you on that one, boss." Wyatt pokes his finger into the projection's left frontal lobe, halting its slowing spin. "I know we said extraction ain't the goal here, but I'm gonna be runnin' some sims on that when I've got the time. I don't like the idea of leavin' any'a this shit in, even if we do get it identified and nuked."

Ava nods and reaches up to give his shoulder a warm squeeze. "Let me know what initial paths you route; we can build from there. I doubt he'll be ready for any extensive work for years to come, but the least we can do is present him with some options." She takes a deep breath through her nose as she looks over the port connection on the hologram. "Alright, I'll be back after I finish his consultation."

"Good luck, boss," Wyatt encourages with a smile. "Tell the sergeant we said hi."

She waves her hand over her shoulder with a hum and braces herself to face her latest patient again.

The sergeant himself is sitting just as stiffly as he was when she left, but the captain has moved on to relaxing with a magazine in his hands. They both look up at the sound of the door opening, with a laid-back smile on Steve's face and a forced one on Bucky's. She almost wants to tell him that he doesn't have to make an attempt.

"Sorry for the wait; needed a quick check-in with the brain trust." And to not want to throw something heavy through Tony's fancy glass walls. "They wanted me to pass along their hello's. Dr. Combs, in particular, is very excited to meet you."

Bucky huffs a silent laugh through his nose as she returns to stand at the side of his chair. She doesn't try to move behind him for the moment. "Yeah, I'm sure I'm real—"

"Buck," Steve cuts in softly with a side eye in his best friend's direction.

"Fascinating?" Bucky's eyes lift to Ava's at her teasing guess, and his responding nod is sheepish. She smiles at the attempted manners. "Your case is as interesting as it is horrific, that's for sure. Lucky for you, we're a morbid bunch, so you can go for the gallows humor whenever you want." She taps at Bucky's arm with the pad of her index finger, trying to warm him up to repeat physical contact. "However, I'm pretty sure Wyatt is looking forward to asking for your autograph above everything."

The sergeant's eyebrows rocket toward his hairline. "What's he looking for? Love, The Winter Soldier?"

"Bucky." Steve doesn't even look over this time; he just drops one side of the magazine to pinch the bridge of his nose.

The sight of an exasperated Captain America sitting in her office makes Ava snort loudly. She doesn't miss the way it makes Bucky's lips raise at the corners. "He comes from a long line of history buffs who believe accurate preservation is the best tool to prevent it from repeating. The guy grew up with battle models and field testimonials from every major war. I'm guessing he had some Howling Commando envy as a kid, though he won't own up to that on his end."

"He knows I was one of them for all of five minutes, right?"

"None of us were Howlies for long," Steve forcefully insists, one foot coming over to kick Buckys. "But that doesn't change the good we did while we were."

"It also won't stop him from chewing your ear off about it if you let him." Ava crosses her arms over her chest in amusement. "My advice is to stop him early. Definitely before he starts asking what you remember about the maps. You've got a real Milo Thatch working on your brain now." Bucky looks up at her in confusion. "Haven't gotten around to Disney movies yet? Milo's a character from Atlantis, one of my personal favorites. He and Wyatt share a certain level of academic excitement."

"I'll add it to the watch list." A small smile comes up, making her wonder what his cheeks look like when he really lets it go. "And keep the point of no return in mind."

She stops herself from gushing about the beauty of the art behind the movie, wanting to honor his headfirst approach. "You ready to get the last part of today's visit over with?"

His shoulders rise with another resigned intake, making her want to be ferociously violent toward the closest available Nazi. "I'm ready when you are, doc."

"My go-to hardware specialist built a prototype connector based on the scans Tony got during your initial intake. It's only the first iteration for the sake of data extraction, so be sure to speak up if anything feels off. Anything at all, even if it's just minor discomfort. She can work on changing it for the next build. I'm sure Steve can attest to Paige's efficiency at her job by now."

The slightest hint of a blush comes over the captain's cheeks at the teasing mention of his numerous visits to the engineering department. "Ms. Findley—"

"Does she ask you to call her that?" Bucky jumps on his best friend with immediately. Ava would feel bad about chumming the waters, but the banter is making him relax against the chair.

Steve shuts his mouth momentarily. The blush gets a shade darker before he opens it again. "Paige is a very dedicated worker. And a lovely conversationalist. How do you two know each other? Through Tony?"

Now Ava really does feel bad. She puts a hand on her hip and tries to keep her smile from growing. "No, I'm the one who introduced them. She's been my best friend for about fifteen years now."

Steve freezes, and Bucky's grin takes over the lower half of his face. The sergeant sits all the way back, with shoulders that are perfectly at ease. "Oh, good. If I think of anything later, I can just have Stevie drop it off for me. I'd hate to forget between appointments."

Ava pulls the wireless reader and its port connector from the briefcase on Bucky's chair. She steps up behind him and tries not to let her eyes linger on how his smile lights up his face or how it warms her chest to see. Her free hand comes to rest on his left shoulder, leaving the exit door in his right peripherals. "This shouldn't take more than a few minutes at most. Ready?"

"Hit me." It almost doesn't sound forced.

She lifts his hair and runs her thumb over the port once to brace him for the new sensations before lining up the connector. As she'd explicitly requested of Paige, the mechanism doesn't snap into place when she locks it in, meaning there's no responding vibration to move through his skull. The notes from Bucky's therapist that were passed along didn't mention it, but they hardly mention anything at all. There's a lot he's holding back, there has to be, and she's been trying to preempt as much of it as she can.

Bucky's nails dig into the arm of the chair, and he inhales sharply. After a moment, his fingers start to relax one by one. Ava watches them all, her eyes moving between his hands and neck repeatedly, while the reader begins its data harvest. She gives him long enough to get a few steady breaths in.

"Have you started any animated movie binges?" she prods, wanting to stall for time to get a closer look at his implant. With him letting her hold up his hair like this, it might be her only chance for the foreseeable future.

"Sam's gotten me to sit through a few of his picks," he replies tensely.

"Mmm. I'm guessing Mister Feathers is a Pixar fan."

"I know that's an animation studio, but that's the extent of my expertise on the subject. Are they the ones who made Lilo and Stitch?"

"He did not make you watch that one first."

"He did, but that's technically not my first animated movie. We had them back in the 30s, you know."

"Some of us still call it animation's golden age," Steve mutters in the most crotchety old artist fashion, his eyes back on the magazine in his lap.

"Take a look around this room, Rogers," Ava sasses. "Do I look like someone who'd argue with you about its significance?"

"Point taken."

Her eyebrows pull in while she looks over just how much of Bucky's spinal cord is exposed to outside influence. She knows how far the port runs thanks to the scans, but now she's getting an eyeful of movable hatching and flesh that will never get the proper chance to heal.

"How are you handling the daily care of this?" she asks, running her finger around one edge of the port.

"I do it," Bucky tells her simply.

Her eyes lock on the back of his head in disbelief. "You do… what, exactly?"

"I've got a morning routine for it. Clear the excess buildup, sterilize the whole area, work the skin, that kind of thing."

"You understand that this has direct access to your brainstem, right?"

"I know." He shifts his weight in the chair. "I'm careful."

"I have several medical degrees, one of which is entirely focused on the human brain, and even I would hesitate to approach this on my own body. If anything that can give you so much as a hundred-degree fever touches this, you're dead, Bucky." She lets the hand not holding up his hair come to rest on his shoulder. "I'm not trying to scare you with this, but as your doctor, I need to make sure you understand the severity here. I don't want you doing this yourself anymore; I want you to come to my office for it."

"That's not necessary—"

"What time do you want him here in the mornings?" Steve asks, ignoring Bucky entirely.

"I don't need to come here in the mornings—"

"It doesn't have to be every morning," Ava offers, wanting to give him a compromise. She's definitely not letting him go back to doing it himself. "I can set up a stable cleaning routine every other day whenever you have the time to come in."

"I have it handled, really—"

"I wouldn't push it past three days, though."

"Every other morning," Steve agrees. "That's perfect. JARVIS can keep an eye on the schedules for him."

"I've got working fucking eyeballs," Bucky almost shouts, making Ava and Steve finally let up.

She squeezes her hand on his shoulder, half in apology, half in sympathy. "Yes, you do. But they happen to be in the front of your head. My eyes can see the back of your neck without a mirror, and they've got a decade's worth of disgustingly thorough medical training behind them. You came here because you're ready for this to get done. Now you actually have to let me do it."

Bucky lifts a hand as if he's about to argue but then lowers it with a soft sigh. "Yeah... yeah, alright. But I'm not always going to be here in the mornings—"

"She said it doesn't have to be the mornings," Steve cuts in again.

"You know what I mean, jackass. I'm not always going to be here consistently. I have, you know, a job that you try to boss me around on—"

"We can make sure you've got a trained medic to help—"

"No, Grant."

The words are said softly, and it takes a moment for Ava to even remember that it's the captain's middle name, but something happens in the wake of them. Steve's relentless push stops on a dime, and the fight leaves Bucky's shoulders. The two of them relax marginally, and Steve nods once. "Okay. So, we establish the routine here. Get it ironed out; get you practiced with it. Then I'll clear you for doing it yourself on missions. But if you miss even one while you're here, so help me—"

"I got it, I got it."

Steve watches Bucky with a tightly held expression for another long moment. Then he looks up at Ava with a nod. "He'll be here, and I'll make sure he's not cleared for another mission until you two have a stable routine for taking care of this."

Ava gives Bucky's shoulder another light squeeze. "I promise it'll be quick every time. I'll work with Paige on making you a field kit. In the long run, this shouldn't interrupt your normal day-to-day much at all."

"Appreciate the effort, doc." Bucky gives a soft grunt. "Sorry for the. Y'know. Pushback."

"I think the world owes you a little more than patience as backpay, Sergeant. I'm happy to help where I can."

—

Febuary 19th 2018

"I can handle it if you want me to."

"No. No, I... I can do it."

"You're sure?"

"You think I can't?"

"I think you look like you're about to throw up on my shoes."

"I don't like the idea of... starting off like that."

"That's why I'm offering to do it."

"No. It should be me. There are things you won't be able to explain."

"You can always fill in the blanks when she shows up for Soldat training."

"What a great alternative first impression! Hello, ma'am, not only am I a complete jackass, but I also delegate my role as—"

"You're not delegating; you're assigning the right person to the job. And this takes away the need for you to be a jackass."

"Leaving you to be a confrontational bitch in someone's eyes?"

"What's the issue there?"

"That's not what you are, Nat."

"Says who?"

Steve reaches out to smack the side of her arm. "That's one of my closest friends you're ragging on."

"She can take it." Natasha looks over at him, a bored hike to one brow. "Let's stay focused on what the doctor can take. This won't be like the therapists. We can't put him through multiple doctors on this. We'll only get one or two tries before he draws the hard limit."

He nods, turning his eyes back to the closed elevator doors. "Right. Right, it's for a good reason. I can do it."

"You don't have to. I can handle it."

"I know. But it should be me." He knocks the side of his boot against hers. "Thank you."

"Always. Let me know how it goes."

Natasha's off the elevator before the doors are even finished opening, leaving Steve to collect himself alone. He pushes off the back railing with a heavy sigh. No part of this is going to be easy to stomach. He's accepted that. He exits the elevator with a resigned set to his shoulders.

The medical wing is dark this late into the day. JARVIS already confirmed that the doctor is still in the building. From the AI's reports, she pulls late nights like this regularly. It bodes well for what he'll have to ask of her and her team.

He stops to admire the heavy paint on the outside of the lab's door. There's days worth of work here, clearly a labor of love. It takes until he's admiring the fourth flower of his perusal to notice that it's not all the same artist. He scans it a bit quicker after that, trying to take a guess as to how many different hands took part. His best guess is four.

Accepting that he's been inadvertently stalling, Steve pushes it open roughly. He probably should have expected the onslaught of color in the room from seeing the door. It still hits him hard enough to make him do a double-take through his exaggerated annoyance. The doctor sitting on the other side of a very large desk nearly jumps out of her chair.

"Christ Al-fucking-mighty," she swears, one hand coming up to brace against her chest. Steve gets nailed with a furious glare. "Knock much?"

Well, that's one test passed. "Are you Dr. Ryder?"

"I am. Who the hell wants to—oh." Recognition dawns on her face as Steve gets close enough to be illuminated by her desk light. The fury in her shifts toward indignance. "I happen to hold a lot of respect for you, at least during normal business hours. So, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and let you have a moment to explain yourself, captain."

He almost starts with an apology, but he catches himself in time. "I've been told you're one of the best neurosurgeons we're in contact with—"

"No, you've been told I am the best." She crosses her arms over her chest and leans back in her chair. Her head inclines toward him. "You can continue."

Steve's reservations about her being able to handle Bucky are leaving rapidly. It almost makes him smile. He holds it together with his best captain voice. "I need your expertise on a consultation. A private consultation. Completely off SHEILD books."

"Am I being roped into the organization's second overhaul?" There's bitterness lingering in her tone. The kind Steve remembers feeling on his own end for months leading up to Fury's near-assassination.

"No. When I say private, I mean private. This isn't under SHIELD purview. I'll be expecting discretion if you think you're up to the case, so we're clear."

The doctor's eyebrows sail up, and her head moves back far enough to hit her chair. "I'll be expecting you to hand over some details before I agree to a damn thing. As a follow-up, you can provide me with an explanation as to why this needed to be done an hour before midnight, with no forewarning and definitely no respect. Otherwise, you can turn your happy ass back around and go find the other neurosurgeons you didn't feel like harassing first."

Damn. He really should have gotten Natasha to do this; she's faster with proper comebacks. "You'll be given information as you need to know it. First, I need to make sure that—"

"First, you can fuck off." Her head shifts to one side as he pauses. "I don't respond well to authority, captain. I'm sure whatever's going on is very important if it's got America's Sweetheart making an ass of himself in the middle of my office on a Monday night. But that's not really my problem. It could be, were I given a reason to care about it."

"Does rectifying war crimes warrant your valuable attention, doctor?" The words feel awful leaving his mouth; she doesn't deserve to get barked at like this. But he needs an honest indication of how she'll react to a bad day.

Ava watches him with a slightly open mouth for more than a few tense moments. Then recognition dawns for a second time, and her eyes roll dramatically. "Oh, for god's sweet sake. You could have just asked if I have experience with PTSD patients. Hell, you were clearly sent by Tony, and I met the man at a veteran's benefit, so you could have asked him. Barnes' presence on the Avenger's roster isn't exactly a secret these days."

Steve holds himself still, then shifts his weight to one foot. "You met at a veteran's benefit?"

She nods slowly, with a bit of mockery behind the motion. "Yes. Almost a decade ago. He funds most of my work with the VA."

That hadn't been included in her resume. He didn't want to invade her privacy by pulling her file until she agreed to it. Steve feels heat rise to his cheeks. Then the anger starts to surface. "You know, I'm not one hundred percent sure I was supposed to know that."

"You think?" The words are bone dry, and her posture is still defensive, but there's a smile working its way up from the corners of her lips.

"Look, I...." Steve raises a hand to the back of his neck sheepishly. "I apologize. I promise it's not about doubting your professionalism—"

"It's about protecting family, yeah, I get it." Her arms don't unfold from her chest. But her eyebrows do come back down.

"He's very important to me. I want to make sure he's in good hands, that's all."

"Well?"

Steve's brows draw in. "I wasn't trying to dump the case on you right now—"

"No, idiot." Her eyes roll again, with much less aggression. "I'm asking if I passed."

"Oh." He nods, his cheeks still feeling far too hot. "With flying colors, so far. There's still a lot more to cover before we get Bucky involved, but. Yes, ma'am. I think you'll handle him just fine."

With a sigh, her arms finally lower. She extends a hand out in his direction. "Ava Ryder. It's very nice to meet you, Captain Rogers."

He takes her hand with a firm shake, inclining his head apologetically. "It's very nice to meet you, as well, doctor. You can call me Steve."

"You can call me Ava. So can James whenever I'm finally graced with his presence."

Yeah. She'll do just fine. "He prefers Bucky. And I'm sure he'll provide you with a much more agreeable first impression. All that can wait until you don't look like you're going to fall asleep on your keyboard, though.

Ava smiles warmly at him, falling back against her chair as she takes back her hand. "I'm looking forward to it. You can send me the details on the case at a reasonable hour to make up for scaring the shit out of me."

"Yes, ma'am." He tips his head respectfully, already backing up from her desk. "Sorry for the scare. And for being so disrespectful. He really is—"

"Important to you." She waves her hand dismissively before reaching up to push at her glasses. "I get it, don't worry. I'd be twice as much of a wreck in your shoes. You're doing fine."

Sometimes, on the rarest of occasions, there are benefits to having the worst moments of his life in the history books. "I appreciate that, thank you. You have a good rest of your night, ma'am. I'll send—I'll have JARVIS send you his file—"

"Captain Rogers is unaware of how to forward SHEILD files, doctor," the AI cuts in gleefully.

"I had my suspicions, JARVIS; thanks." She waves her hand again, this time in goodbye, as she looks back at her computer screen. "Please don't trip on my carpet and bust your ass on the way out of my office."

Steve pointedly turns on his heel, glad for the excuse to hide his burning face. He all but races to the door. "I'll be in contact, doc."

"Mhmm."

When he pulls open the painted door, he's almost unsurprised to find Natasha leaning against the other side of the hallway. She doesn't move at all, but one side of her mouth lifts in a smirk.

Steve lets the door shut softly behind him before cocking his head to the side. "Very cute. You two in on it together?"

"No, but sniffing out Tony's bait didn't take long. You'd have noticed, too, if you weren't so far up Bucky's ass." Her head tilts in the opposite direction as his. "Feel better?"

He straightens up with a nod. The motion feels confident. "Much."

—author's end notes, yoinked straight from ao3—

“what’s paige like?” well. to put it simply. she is every last ounce of karma that steve has earned by lovingly terrorizing his best friend 😌

i feel like the overall theme got covered enough with this to tell if the plot is for you or not. flirting starts next, but isn't super blatant until chap 4. i am in zero rush and will have no problem with dedicating an entire chap to cuddling tbh, this is a comfort project im in for the long haul. check back later for * to get full smut taste, current (possibly changing) map has it in chap 9. OR you can check back for kinktober, i have all 31 days outlined for these idiots. i need starfield to be good so i can do smut for that too, bethesda pls

keep in mind this will get sci-fi weird at times, and loosely ref/revolve around greek myth tropes bc iiiii like ‘em ❤️ im a fandom ancient who takes no issue with cleaning out the dickhead comments 😌 also i might edit shit. im still not clear on what ao3 will email about a bookmark (god willing its not edits that dont include a new chapter) but just in case i figured id warn for anyone who doesn't want email spam

im gonna try to keep ava and paige as vague as possible, aside from a few scattered physical details so i have SOMETHING to write. my favorite bucky fic in existence is a reader!fic (safe with me is Ungodly levels of good, and i dont just say that as a fellow west wing addict. i constantly forget that his apartment in it isn't actually canon and there're no m&ms hiding for eternity somewhere) so you wont get any judgment from me on replacing both of them right down to their names, that’s how im writing them!! it just feels unfair to tag it a reader fic with them being given SUCH a heavy “presence" i guess

main pov's (the undated ones) will always flip between bucky and ava. the dated ones are other characters pov's OOOOOOR its a flashback in which case it could be the two of them, but ill always try to make it clear whose headspace is focused up front, so i dont think ive set up a hurdle there

thanks for reading ❤️ i love and appreciate feedback immensely ❤️ feeds the brain chemicals 😌 no worries abt spoilers, i feel like anyone looking there knows what theyre risking lmao

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #chapter update #man the way thats going to be the extend of effort i have when it comes to promoing this damn thing #truly astonishing how little fandom energy i have lmao #i sure as shit aint taggin the other ones with anything but my sorting tags lmao #i do not have the Energy #good space

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