#(She does think Shinobu is very desperate or very much insane to seek out her friendship)

[more-than-a-princess]

Whether it was the dull ache of the pain in her foot, a rare substantial amount of food for a meal that made her stomach rumble, or the fact that Yaguchi had pointedly called her out on her own confused accusations, Sonia could only respond by pouting at first. An immature reaction to be sure, but it wasn't as if the world took her and her friends seriously. If only to be rehabilitated as something of use to them, but nothing more: nothing else mattered, and she didn't expect Yaguchi to believe any different.

"Well, I didn't know that," She replied, attempting to deliver a flat and unamused tone but she snapped instead. The irritability of pain and shame alike had withered away her patience and compassion, in her opinion. "Sorry, but we do not exactly communicate well here. The risk of bringing up uncomfortable memories is too great, and thus...what is the phrase, 'silence is sparkling.' That is the preferred code of conduct amongst most of us, some liaisons aside." It was the best way to categorize her time with Akane: they weren't exactly friends out of the simulation, as more and more of their crimes were brought to light. But they had a certain ease in each other's presences, in that they didn't prod or aggravate the other too much.

Maybe that was the best she could hope for, when it came to relationships: an uneasy tolerance of mutual trauma. It was what she deserved, in any case.

She thought about telling Yaguchi that she should spend more time with the other former remnants, lest she be accused of favoritism, but Sonia had a feeling it would fall on deaf ears or she'd continue to point out precisely how much additional attention she bestowed upon her former classmates. Sonia just gestured to her disheveled braid and her injured foot, the scar already beginning to form: if that wasn't messy, she wasn't sure what was, beyond nearly drinking herself to death over Gundham's rejection. At various points since meeting Yaguchi, Sonia had embodied all three.

"There is quite enough cruelty in the world," She explained, setting her plate aside. From the way her stomach rumbled, the food wouldn't sit well. Too sweet or too much of it in one sitting, as soon as the other woman left, Sonia would limp her way to the toilet to try to rid herself of it. "Much of it my cohorts and I caused. If there was one thing we could do to try to atone here, with our limited abilities and resources, it would be to be kind as long as kindness is deserved." There were unnamed members of the Future Foundation that certainly didn't deserve it: Yaguchi had punched him square in the nose, last she heard. "But to be lonely and enjoying my company, of all people..."

Sonia sighed, leaning against the headboard of her bed. Even with Yaguchi's explanations of how she helped out the other former Remnants, it still didn't make sense to her. She wasn't worth it, why didn't she see that? She shut her eyes and breathed deeply, as she did when she needed a drink, or felt she was going to say something she didn't fully mean. "I think you must be feeling a little desperate, if it is my company that you are choosing to seek. I cannot tell you not to enjoy my company, but that does not mean it makes sense to me. I was a horrible person back then, and I am not much better now, barring the lack of murder that is. I tried to coerce a man into marrying me simply because I was afraid to be alone, without him. I still am: he gave my life meaning, in a way. Without him, I am not sure how I can proceed."

It was the most articulate she'd been about her heartbreak. Sonia surmised it was because Yaguchi was on her way out, and therefore wouldn't press her for further details about it. "You have not overstayed your welcome," She assured her. Her instincts told her to grab the blankets, hold them close, and not move from her bed for the rest of the day. Her body told her that if Yaguchi didn't get a move on, she'd witness Sonia's entire breakfast in reverse. Sonia brought her hand to her mouth, as if to stifle the latter urge. "Th-that is fine, to check on me later. Maybe without so much food, though. My body does not tolerate it well."

It felt like a rejection - it was a rejection, in some ways. Of course, Shinobu had no reason to expect anything else. Sonia didn't know her. They'd met, from her perspective, quite recently, and while Shinobu hoped they'd made a good impression, what sort of impression could justifying opening up after being so hurt? And besides, hadn't Shinobu said to herself, to Anzu, that she'd accept this? She needed to help Sonia, not befriend her. Even if Sonia wanted nothing to do with her, then Shinobu would simple do what she could from a distance to ease things for her, to give her any possible chance to heal.

In the moment, though, it stung, and even as it stopped stinging, it ached. It was miserable, Shinobu realized for the second time, to want to be close to someone but know that that person did not return the sentiment in the same way. To Shinobu, Sonia was the most important person alive, while to Sonia, Shinobu was likely only the strange Future Foundation agent who seemed determined to impose upon her. There was no getting around that fact.

"I'm doing what I can for them, as well," she said after a few moments of silence, "your friends, that is." No one would mistake it for the way she treated Sonia, but it wasn't as though she had any desire to abandon them, or withhold her support. "I've been helping Hanamura-san with cleanup, so he can focus his attention on the cooking itself, and I'd prefer that neither Miss Owari nor Souda-san nor Miss Pekoyama exert themselves when their bodies are still recovering." Though, the same could be said for her own, she supposed. "If it's not immediately time-sensitive, I've asked that they set aside any moving of machinery or heavy objects for me to handle when I'm there."

No longer looking at Sonia, Shinobu instead stared down at her plate, eating slowly in-between her spoken thoughts. "When you were in the hospital, I brewed tea for Miss Tsumiki, as well, and I've taken to dropping by with her preferred snacks from the market, should she get hungry, or need some extra energy." Yes, in absence of a clearly-defined job with duties and routine, she'd taken it upon herself to do what she could for the remnants, wherever there was a need. Hinata was the only one she steered clear of, when the situation allowed.

But still, those were not acts of friendship, and Sonia was more than intelligent enough to understand the difference. "If it's worth anything to you, I should say that I don't see you as a mess, Miss Nevermind." She had struggled and been made to endure things that no person should, but she wasn't a mess, not in Shinobu's eyes. "But as for why I care about you in particular..." It was obvious, from their perspective.

There was no reason to bring up Seiko and Sakakura again. Sonia knew what had happened to them, and even if it had nothing to do with her, Shinobu had no desire to make her feel responsible for them. Even without naming them specifically, the princess would understand the generalities. "Well, I'm lonely," she admitted. "Extraordinarily so. And, you were kind when you had no reason to be - when everyone, myself included, would have understood had you written me off as just another Future Foundation suit to be wary of." With her fork set down, Shinobu could see her neatly trimmed nails, unpainted, and remember how they'd looked in matte black.

Her phone buzzed, and after setting her plate on Sonia's nightstand, Shinobu picked it up and declined the call. She'd probably be departing soon enough, anyway, so no reason to allow herself to be rushed. They slipped it into their pocket as they finished getting dressed, gathering up their things in their backpack as they did. "I want to be your friend, Miss Nevermind, and I enjoy your company. That's all it is, really. I don't define you by the things you've done in the past, so much as the things you're doing now, and the person you are today is someone who I care for, and someone who I want to spend time with."

What would happen when Sonia returned to Novoselic, though, Shinobu wasn't sure. Still... if there was a way she could stay in contact, she'd try. It would be happening, sooner or later, and they'd need to think about it. "If I've overstayed my welcome, Miss Nevermind, then I regret doing so." She tapped at her phone, in the pocket of her slacks. "I'm needed for something or other, so, I likely shouldn't stay any longer. If you'd prefer it, if you feel that my presence is stifling or unwanted, I'll keep some distance for a while. Otherwise, I'll try to stop by to check on you, if that's alright?"