#(OR TOTALLY SINK INTO THEIR MURDER-VICES AND BECOME EVEN WORSE VERSIONS OF THEMSELVES IN THE ABSOLUTE CHAOS. 8'D;;;;)

[red-hemlock]

"Love Story with Zsasz" (good lort, sorry River, lmao)

Send “love story with ____” for my muse’s reaction on finding a romantic fanfiction about themselves paired with that character @sanguine-salvation

"Goodness, there's really more under this thing? Maybe I should change my name, and splurge for a brand new look." But alright, who's the next 'lucky duck' to be sacrificed upon the Altar of Ship with another piece of her sanity?

...Viktor Zsasz.

Okay-... She can kind-of see why some heart-eyed Gotham shipper might want to pair the two of them up. They both like knives, they both like knifing things, they both probably dance and finger-paint a little in the bloody-red aftermath. Tale as old as time and all of that good jazz, what more could a super-fun relationship need?

But is the fic any good? Now that's the million dollar question... Though considering Wattpad was batting 0-2 in her tag right now, River's not sure how much lower the bar can even go at this point.

"Well, here goes nothing, I suppose." She muses with a soul-steeling sigh, tentatively clicking the title.

But in the end, to her absolute shock, it was-... Quite the good read. Amazing even, considering the competition raised against it. A multi-chapter cross-over set in the world of that crazy car movie her daughter wanted to watch, Mad Max: Fury Road. It had the knives and knifing, madness and blood by the bucketful of course, as she and Zsasz wrested control of some clan called The Buzzards from their former leader.

Two Warlords, tearing across the dusty desert dunes in rusted, spike-covered Hell-cars. Raising chaos and the group up from the muck, from crusty scavengers into the greatest and most fearsome faction the Wasteland had ever seen. Sure, there might've been one too many hot n' handsy make-out sessions over corpses, that were more tooth than tongue; and the whole part of them choosing to die together, in a Bond-esque explosion-death ending was a bit ill-fitting. But at this point, River's just happy to see that neither of them were insultingly woobified; it could've been so much worse.

Witness them, indeed.

River never backed-out of a website so fast, how quick she was to pull-up her text messages.

2:30am [Tally Apple]: Hey.

2:30am [Tally Apple]: Hey you! ᕕ༼⌐■-■༽ᕗ

2:31am [Tally Apple]: Sleep is for the weak lookit this now [LINK]

2:33am [Tally Apple]: Be my hypothetical apocalypse bestie, Y/Y? I'll let you sit shotgun sometimes. ( ͡° ε ͡°)♥