#(Mostly because I wanted to see if I could write a slowburn)

[sfhvn-alltheas]

An open letter to Netflix and for everyone who feels the same

I would like to apologize in advance for any linguistic errors, English is not my native language, but I will do my best to express my concerns appropriately.

I am reaching out to you to express my deep disappointment at your cancellation of Dead Boy Detectives. The news of your decision hit me hard and I would like to ask you to reconsider. I understand that Netflix is ​​a company that is about money, about numbers, about streams, about performance. It is a business and the decisions are based not on emotions but on lucrative fundamentals.

We all know that.

But this cannot work in the long term, not without an outcry from your viewers. Because what you do is selling dreams. You might not see us, but we are here, we are being absorbed into the alternative realities you have created. We live these dreams you sold us. 

You know this, you know that you mostly produce more than just mindless entertainment that is subsequently forgotten, and that is exactly why I feel so let down by you. You are aware that our hearts and souls are attached to these characters, that’s what you want and it totally makes sense. Because whoever is emotional involved stays long term. A show can be so many different things for different people: a place of well-being, comfort, escapism, distraction, mental support, self-discovery. Queer and inclusive programs in particular help people and make them feel seen, understood and accepted. A show can be the only light in a darkness that so many people find themselves in today. A show with their characters can save lives.

How then do only numbers decide whether something continues or not? 

You, as the producer of dreams, have a responsibility to us. Money and numbers should be secondary in your industry. Feel free to call me naive, I am, I like to be, I have to be in this world, but I believe in humanity, in the values ​​that you claim to represent. Not every show can bring in billions. Not all of them can be Wednesday, Squid Game or Bridgerton. Not within fourteen days, not without support. With your impatience, you are depriving great shows of the chance to grow and, over time, attract the viewership that meets your expectations. What I'm trying to express here isn't only about Dead Boy Detectives. It's a fundamental problem.

I am not okay with this

Julie and the Phantoms

The OA

The Society

1899

Six of Crows

Shadow and Bone

Archive 81

Lockwood & Co.

Glamorous

Half Bad: The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself

First Kill

Inside Job

Midnight Club

Warrior Nun

- just to name a few. All this shows have met the same fate, they all were cancelled too soon and never got the chance to grow, to become a next Stranger Things, the next slowburn success.

This has to stop! Imagine having cancelled Stranger Things after one season back in the days. What you would have missed! Instead, you give up on shows too easily without hesitation and disappoint the very people who could have been your allies in the effort to bring the next success.

I honestly don't understand that. And it's not fair either. Not to us, not to the creators and actors who gave their everything. You should trust them to be capable of creating something epic if only they had a little more time. 

I'll tell you how it is: The news that Dead Boy Detectives had been cancelled is devastating. My life pretty much sucks for a few years now and there is little to nothing that still brings me joy. A second season has been the only thing I've been looking forward to these past few months, the anticipation has been the reason I'm still here. You took that away from me. From all of us that are like me. Now I’m sitting here and write this letter, hoping to save the show that has given me so much confidence and joy and meaning, visibility and understanding that it's okay to be who I am. It's not fair that I have to fight to keep this precious show instead of enjoying it while I deal with the wreckage of my life. 

If you don't understand that what you're doing is impacting so many people, then maybe you shouldn't be selling dreams. Better sell electronics.

I won't stop fighting for what means so much to me. It's not too late yet, you can at least right the wrong you did with Dead Boy Detectives. Please do it, give Dead Boy Detectives another chance. We, the viewers, deserve it, the creators and actors deserve it, and most of all the show itself deserves it because it is the greatest thing I have seen in many years.

Thank you for your time and for considering my request.

[dangopango00]

ABYSS RAZOR W LOVE LANGUAGES

Abyss Razor x gn reader

Pt 1 | Pt 2

A/N: I was gonna do loser so hcs but i keep getting annoyed bc i wanna improve my writing but dk what to do bye ANYWAY I JUST CAUGHT UP WITH THE ANIME AND OUEUEU 😭😭😭😭 Im down bad even more they animated the scenes so well hes so kewt

Mostly not established relationship outside of the “as you get closer” sorry im a sucker for the slowburn also oh my god i have to make this two parts why is it so long ill write part two laterrer

GIVING From best to worst (more utc)

1. Acts of Service:

This is his specialty for sure; he just feels as if he has to be useful to you and if he isn’t then you won’t want him anymore. Acts of service are the only thing he can do without stammering or messing up in some way and it’s the only one he’s confident with too. It comes naturally to him tbh he:

- Reminds you of things you need to do even if you only mentioned it to him once in passing

- Brings extra materials or snacks with him if you often forget to bring those things

- Organizes your stuff if he notices your bag and/or your room is messy

- ALWAYS asks if you need help with anything and will do that even if u just tell him to relax he’d instead start trying to help YOU relax

Even as he gets more comfortable with you, excessively partaking in acts of service is something he just can’t shake which isn’t a bad thing! Its his love language afterall, but you just wish he’d stop worrying about if he’s being useful enough and just do what comes naturally. With more reassurance and time he will eventually start to slow down more though.

2. Gift Giving:

I think his gift giving usually comes with his acts of service like bringing snacks. He also just gives you a lot of small gifts because he wants you to know how much you mean to him but he really can’t put it into his words and even if he could theres no way he could articulate it out loud. Some things he gives you includes:

- Origami— I feel like origami is sth he does when he’s bored but even so, he puts the utmost love and care into each of his creations so giving them as gifts is sth reserved for the people closest to him

- Snacks— This one is simple he just cares about u and gets concerned if it seems like u aren’t eating enough or if ur hungry but without food

- A Deck of Cards— ODDLY SPECIFIC but I feel like he’d want you to have one so you and him can play cards even if he forgets his. I think even though he usually plays for Abel he does really enjoy physical games like cards and dominoes etc. like playing cards is how he bonds with people

- Accessories— Now this is RARE bc to him this is reallll bold but under the right circumstances he will give you things like earrings if your ears are pierced or a bracelet or charm (MOST likely the far latter). He sees a lot of accessories that remind him of you and its a little ridiculous, he’ll buy them but because it’s very bold he either won’t give it to you and wait for the “right moment”, give it to someone else to give to you or just leave it somewhere in your room when he’s there

As you grow closer Abyss will get more comfortable with giving you bigger things and will lean more into the accessories when gift giving. He might even feel bold enough to give you the plush he won while koala snotting with Mash.

3. Quality Time:

I was gonna put this one at #2 but I had an epiphany. I fear in the beginning stages Abyss would definitely try to keep you at arms length because of his eye. Oh especially if you met him while he was wearing an eyepatch and didn’t know about his eye; in fact, he feels guilty because he feels like he’s tricking you by being around you at all. Not only this but he has to split his time between you and Lord Abel as well so. However he does feel a little selfish with you and he really does like you so he spends time with you when:

- In the Forest— Just being alone with you in the forest takes the weight of social pressure off of him. It’s almost like the forest is keeping a secret between you and him. He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not people would avoid you seeing you with him nor does he even have to think about his eye or if you’d accept it, he can just live in the moment and enjoy reading with u

- In Classes no one else he knows attends— Similar to the forest it’s like keeping a secret but this time it’s specifically because none of his friends are here to see him acting so selfishly.

- He’s Jealous— Now he wont say anything buttt when he’s jealous Abyss will stick to you like a bad habit although still keeping you at a short distance. He just feels like he needs to be with you atm don’t mind him.

- You Reassure Him— Similarly, when you assure him that you don’t mind his reputation or eye (if you know) it makes him want to be around you more and all of that day he’ll be around you more than usual. He’s so grateful just to have met you and for you to say all that? He’s over the moon; he almost feels like he can finally breathe freely

As time goes on he definitely gets insanely good at this considering he loves being around you and the only thing holding him back is his insecurity. I def think that once you’ve been dating a long time or married he clings to you like crazy and even in the beginning stages once he’s gotten comfortable with you he’d follow you like a lost puppy even though his behavior is more catlike lol

4. Physical Touch:

He’s not very good at touch I’m ngl he can barely form words around you let alone touch you 😭. BUT. He does sometimes put the moves on you without noticing and he does try his best. This would include:

- Playing with ur hair when you’re alone or fixing it if he notices it got a bit messed up

- Fixing/Tidying up ur clothes between classes if he notices sth wrong like you tying your tie wrong or if the way you tied your bow was a little crooked (idk why I just think he’d be insanely good at tying bows/ties I bet he ties Abel’s for him too that boy can NOT tie a tie without it looking a little goofy)

- Resting his hands on your back or shoulders when you hug him. Now this seems like normal behavior but its A LOT for him ok his heart is pounding but he really does enjoy being in your arms

- Patting your head awkwardly or holding your face (if he’s feeling bold) when you’re upset bc he doesn’t know what to do but all he knows is he wants you to feel better and that he misses your smile

As time goes on he slowly gets better with physical touch but honestly he gets better VERY slowly like even if he can handle your advances I’m not sure he’ll be able to initiate things like kissing until marriage LOL ok well thats a bit much but you’ll have to have been in a relationship for a while

(Also a silly little tidbit when he initiates physical touch he gets it from you. For example he holds your face because you’ve held his face before and he never felt more at peace so he wanted to give you that same feeling)

5. Words of Affirmation:

Well. Speaking words isn’t one of his strong suits especially to someone he’s infatuated with. HOWEVER his sincerity is unmatched when he does manage to say something. Usually when he speaks words of affirmation they aren’t direct words of love like “I love you” or anything like that but it is always very sweet. He says things like:

- “Thank you.” — He never stops thanking you and apologizing 😭😭 He just needs you to know that he knows he’s so lucky to have you and that he would never EVER take you for granted

- “It’s an honor” — He says this OFTEN everything he gets to do with you is an honor because he feels as though he doesn’t deserve you; he can’t give you all that you deserve yet you stick by his side with no hesitation? He feels blessed; even wonders if The Lord (tm) Abel has something to do with this. He’s just so happy and most of all, grateful

- “I’m so glad to have met you” — This is one that he often mumbles under his breath when you’re being sweet to him; his feelings just swell in his heart at that moment and he lets it slip from his mouth

- “I need you” — He only said this like one (1) ☝️ time but im running out of words ok ANYWAY he’d say this to you only in critical moments like in the heat of the moment if you had been badly injured and you’re just barely hanging on. Besides this under normal circumstances, he’d say this while asking for your forgiveness after he had been avoiding you for a long time out of insecurity and you’re mad at him

As time goes on he gets MUCH better with words of affirmation and has been consciously making an effort to say more because he doesn’t want you to ever think that he doesn’t love you or isn’t proud of you. It’s so often in your beginning dating stage that he’ll stutter something incomprehensible and then give up and try again later going, “A-about earlier…(incomprehensible stuttering)” (he’s trying to say I love you or I’m proud of you or something similar but he couldn’t quite find the words)

[irkimatsu]

I love your Husk works! Could you please write one where fem!reader gets along with everyone and Husk doesn't even realize that he's catching feelings, but maybe on a night out with everyone, someone comes up and starts heavily flirting with her. Ends with confessions and sugary sweet tooth rotting fluff please. 😍

God damn, anon, do you have any idea how hard it is to wring a confession out of this man? I was going along at a steady pace and then I got stuck for hours! I genuinely hope you like slowburn, because Husk doesn't go from zero-to-love easily. I think he's gotten a nice start here, though. It's definitely fluffy!

Husk/Fem!Reader starting a relationship. Mentions of drinking and attempted sexual assault that Husk interrupts before things get too heavy. SFW, 2.8k words. Enjoy! I hope this is what you had in mind, anon! Thank you so much for reading my works!

Your first few months staying at the Hazbin Hotel have gone quite smoothly; as smoothly as anything there can ever go, anyway. Charlie took an instant liking to you - she takes an instant liking to everyone, so it’s nothing special, but still. She can be a bit overbearing, but you know she means well, and she’s grateful to have someone who doesn’t immediately write off her trust exercises from the start.

Still, after all the sharing circles and art therapy, you occasionally find yourself craving more “adult” fun, and that’s where Angel and Cherri come in. It’s not that you don’t want to be redeemed, but what could be so sinful about enjoying yourself a little? You’re not doing anything dangerous or drastic, no drugs and no getting involved with the wrong people; you’re just having fun drinking, dancing, maybe smashing up some abandoned property if the opportunity strikes. Charlie can’t get mad at destruction if no one cares about the thing you just blew up, right?

The bartender, Husk, isn’t nearly as keen on those nights on the town, but you’ve still managed to bond with him on nights where you prefer to stay in. He’s a surprisingly good listener underneath his gruff exterior. (Perhaps too good of a listener; you hope he keeps ignoring whatever bullshit you might have spouted off after one too many of his cocktails.) He also has plenty of stories of his own, mostly from the time he spent alive. When you could get him talking, he’d weave incredible tales of nightlife, both from his home city in Las Vegas and all the other places he’d visited in his life. He seemed especially wistful when talking about a woman he knew back then. He could talk for hours about all the famous sites he was able to take her to, all the songs he would sing for her, and all the starry skies he’d dance with her under.

“It’s not like I blame her for leaving. I’m the one who screwed it up. But being in love… it was nice while it lasted.”

You try to encourage him with the hope that he could fall in love again, but he shakes his head with a bitter smile.

“I lost the ability to love years ago.”

—-

Your friendship with Angel and Cherri is so different compared to your friendship with Husk, so it took a few months before you could have a night out with all three of them. Charlie is once again less enthused about the idea of you four going out to party, but you promise to be relatively well behaved.

You promise, anyway. You can’t make promises for Angel’s sake, and as much as you love her, you know better than to have any faith in Cherri.

You’re surprised Husk agreed to come to a sex club at all. He never seemed like the type to be into that sort of thing. You’re less surprised to see that he has no intention of flirting with anyone and is instead perfectly happy to sit by the wall and knock back shots as quickly as the bartender can pour them.

Couldn’t he drink himself stupid back at the hotel, though? Why did he even come?

Is it just you, or has he been watching you the whole night?

The hours tick by, and you, Angel, and Cherri become progressively more wasted. Angel is currently hanging off of a muscular bull demon - damn, good for him - while Cherri tells you about another resident who used to stay at the hotel before he tragically lost his life during the last extermination.

“He was such a fucking idiot that it was charming, ya know? God damn I should have gotten to know him better when he was still around! I heard this rumor about him and never even got to find out if it was true!”

As she speaks, Cherri catches sight of a cobra demon who is currently chatting up a cluster of punk girls.

“Well, damn… maybe I’ll get to find out tonight. Don’t wait around for me, I’ll find my way back!”

With that announcement, Cherri is gone, leaving only you and Husk with about a dozen bar stools between you. He’s definitely keeping an eye on you; there’s still liquid in his glass, and  he’s watching you instead of guzzling it.

What’s his deal? If he wants to spend the night with you, why doesn’t he just come over here? You decide not to go over there yourself; no sense in rewarding him if he’s playing mind games.

You instead turn your attention to a handsome wolf demon who has taken Cherri’s seat. “Drinking all alone, love?” he says, his deep voice smooth as butter. Right away this man gives you the air of a natural-born charmer who can win anyone’s trust within seconds, only to break their hearts within hours.

He’s hot, and you’re drunk. You’ll let him break your heart a little.

Your conversation starts normally enough, with low stakes topics like the music and the drink selection in the bar. You’re in no hurry to tell this man anything personal or leave this spot with him, but you’re enjoying looking at him and hearing him enough that you don’t mind being a bit of entertainment.

He bumps your knee with his at one point, but you pull your own knee away. At first he seems to take the hint, and time passes without any more advances.

Soon, however, he grows more bold.

“Why don’t we go somewhere else, baby?” he asks as he lightly squeezes your thigh. “Somewhere more private?”

“No thanks,” you say as you jerk your leg away, though the motion doesn’t make him let go. “I’m fine talking here.”

“You know this is a sex club, don’t you?” he says. His smile and voice haven’t changed, but somehow he seems much slimier than he did five minutes ago, and the strong paw gripping your leg that seemed so enticing in your head feels suffocating in reality.

“I’m not here for that, I’m just hanging out with friends-” You try to leave the stool, but the man throws his arm around your shoulders and pulls you in.

“Come on, babe! What did you think I was after by chatting you up like this? You’re not gonna leave me hanging, are you?” He’s holding you closely enough that his hot breath is hitting your face, and the stench of his cologne is making you gag. “C’mon, baby, I’ll show you a good time. You won’t regret this-”

“She said no.” Husk had somehow snuck his way to your side without you noticing, and was now glaring daggers at your pursuer. “Back off.”

“Who are you, her grandpa?” the wolf laughs, refusing to unhand you. “Or just a nasty old man who likes ‘em young?”

Your captor’s laughter is quickly interrupted by a high-pitched howl. His face is now adorned with four jagged, bleeding lines.

“What the fuck, old man?” he yells as he unhands you. Just as quickly as you’re unhanded, you’re grabbed again, this time by Husk grabbing your waist and pulling you away.

“I knew I fucking hated this place,” he growls. “Where are Cherri and Angel?”

You have no idea, but your first guess has you looking toward the sex rooms in the back of the club.

“Jesus Christ… they’ll find their own way home. Come on, we’re going back to the hotel.”

You don’t appreciate being dragged out of the club like a misbehaving child, but as the alcohol clouds your thinking, you can’t quite formulate a protest.

Considering how pissed off your admirer must be right now, maybe it’s for the best that you don’t stay.

—

The walk back to the hotel is blurry; if Husk had anything to say to you besides pissed off obscenities muttered beneath his breath, you don’t remember it. Your next memory finds you laying on the couch in the lobby, your head aching from a combination of a hangover and the time spent laying on the couch’s arm with your neck at a weird angle.

“What time is it…?” you murmur as your eyes try to adjust.

“About noon,” answers Husk from the bar. 

As you continue to look around the lobby, he appears to be the only one here. “Where is everyone?” you ask through a yawn.

“Angel and Cherri still aren’t back, but I’m sure they’re fine. Charlie and Vaggie left to give you some quiet. Alastor and Niffty…” Husk shrugs after their names, then falls silent.

You groan as you push yourself into a sitting position, one that has you facing Husk. He doesn’t appear to have anything to do, and is instead standing with his chin resting on his crossed arms atop the bar. An awkward silence falls between the two of you, giving you plenty of time to observe Husk’s body language, particularly the way his tail is lashing behind him while his ear gives the occasional twitch.

He is not in a good mood.

“Are you okay?” you ask. Your well-meaning question only seems to piss him off further; he answers not with a word, but with a growl. “Is this about last night?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he insists.

“I’m sorry I caused you trouble…”

“Wasn’t your fault.” His tail lashes even harder. “Just don’t worry about it, all right?”

You’re going to keep worrying about it until he stops looking so on edge.

“Thanks for getting me away from that guy last night,” you say, just in case you didn’t thank him in your drunken haze.

“Hey, it’s what a good bartender does. When you see someone starting shit with another patron, even if it’s not your bar, you take care of the problem. That fucker had no right to put his hands on you after you told him to cut it out.”

He may be gruff, but at least he has standards.

“Can’t believe Cherri and Angel left you alone in there… those two better not take you to anymore fucking sex clubs, you don’t need to be around shit like that…”

“I’m a grown adult,” you protest. “I didn’t want to sleep with that guy, but if I did want to get with someone at that club, that’s my business.”

Husk’s eyes widen for a moment, before he returns to his original dour expression. “Yeah… guess you’re right.”

“And what about you? You didn’t look interested in picking up anyone last night. Why’d you even come?”

“How do you know I wasn’t interested?” he shoots back. “Maybe I was interested in someone! Maybe I just… didn’t have the balls to go for it.” He stands up straight and shakes his head. “Look, can we drop this? Hang out in sex clubs if you want, I don’t fuckin’ care.”

He’s speaking with the tone of voice of someone who very much cares.

“I’m done with ‘em, though. You’re right, you’re an adult, you don’t need me hanging around like some fuckin’ guardian angel.” He pours a glass of clear liquid, and you expect him to down it himself, but he instead steps out from behind the bar still holding the full glass. “I overreacted last night. Shouldn’t have made it your fuckin’ problem.” He approaches the couch, takes a seat, and offers you the glass. “Here, one last favor. Drink this and I’ll get off your ass.”

You take the cup, wondering if for some ungodly reason he’s trying to get you to down straight vodka.

“Why are you looking at me like that? It’s water. That headache’s only gonna get worse if you’re dehydrated.”

You take a sip of the water, and after only a few swallows you’re already regaining a bit of your desire to live. “Thanks,” you say before taking another large gulp.

“No problem,” he responds. You expect him to return to the bar, but he remains next to you on the couch. His body language has gotten no less agitated. What is going on with him?

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you doting on Angel or Cherri like this,” you observe before finishing the glass.

“They’re used to it, and they’ve got each other,” he says as he takes the glass from you. “You want some more?”

You shake your head, and he remains seated with the glass.

“You, though… I don’t know, something about that guy just pissed me off,” he says. “Even before he started touching you I didn’t like him. Bartender’s intuition, maybe? I’m still not over the awful feeling he gave me.” He sighs heavily. “I just… hate the idea of seeing you get hurt in a place like that. I know Angel and Cherri can take care of themselves, but you’ve never seemed as wild as they do, so I wasn’t sure…”

“Is that why you were watching me the whole night?” you asked.

Husk’s body jolts. “Shit, you noticed?”

“I kept looking over there wondering if you’d ever move from that spot, and if you weren’t actively drinking you were staring at me,” you said. “You weren’t subtle.”

Husk groans as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I know you’re capable. I was just…”

“You weren’t there because you were interested in someone at all, were you?”

“I never said I wasn’t. I mean it when I said I just didn’t have the balls to say anything to ‘em. Instead, I just wondered… what I’d do if someone else asked ‘em. Knowing it’d be my own damn fault for not speaking up sooner. Trying to tell myself it wasn’t that big a deal if they went with someone else… until someone started flirting with ‘em, and touchin’ ‘em, and-” His body tenses as he growls, but relaxes after a moment. “Damn it, I haven’t had to do this in years...”

“Done what?”

“You know what I said about losing my ability to love years ago?” He turns his head and looks directly at you for the first time since he sat down. “...I think I’m remembering how to do it again.”

Things are starting to fall into place. “And the person who helped you remember is…?”

The slightest of smiles crosses his face. “Who do you think?”

You wouldn’t have guessed it before today, but it all seems so obvious in retrospect. He’d spent so many nights with you when he could have been in bed, just chatting with you or comforting you after a bad day. You’d really grown so fond of his smile, and Angel had told you before that he used to never smile.

But surely, you thought, he couldn’t have been smiling because of you…

“What am I even saying?” he asks as he turns away from you. “You died in the prime of your life, and down here you can have that prime forever. You could do so much better than a washed up old drunk.”

“You’re not washed up,” you assure him as you place your hand over his. “I think it’s great that you got to live such a full life! You have so many stories to tell, and so many talents… I bet there’s so much you haven’t told me yet.” You try to reassure him with a smile and a light squeeze to his hand. “So much you haven’t shown me, either. You talk a lot about when you were in a band, but I’ve never gotten to hear you play…”

“I haven’t touched an instrument in years,” he says. “I bet I don’t even remember how to play anymore.”

“Well, you don’t know if you don’t try, right?”

You don’t think you’re just saying that about instruments.

“It’s been such a long time… what if I screw up?”

You don’t think he’s just talking about instruments either.

“It can’t hurt to try. Maybe… maybe you’ll enjoy it even more than you remember.”

“Hmm…” He doesn’t seem fully at ease, but he hasn’t taken his hand back yet. “If I can get my hands on a saxophone, and I really haven’t forgotten how… sure. I’ll play for you.

…you just have to give me some time, okay? I’m not used to it anymore… especially with another person…”

“Take all the time you need,” you assure him.

He turns his hand around so he can hold yours back, and his smile seems to grow slightly. “Just gotta start slow… get used to things again…”

“You’ll be fine, I know you will,” you assure him. He seems content to leave the conversation there, but there’s one more thing you need to say. “Husk?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I’ll be going back to that club. No point when I’m not interested in picking up dates anymore.”

He squeezes your hand. “Glad to hear it.”

[musicalmoritz]

what do you think terukane would be like with like the entire traditional exorcist family issues blah blah blah be like? because i can definitely see terus father either not caring or being like super duper homophobic? it’s interesting because i’ve seen so many fanfics of teru clinging to traditions and values so much that he refuses to see it any other way like kou does, because he can’t afford it..? like i see him being whipped but if they ver get together..? brain rot

The Minamoto clan definitely seems to be traditional with their views on masculinity, both Minamoto brothers express chivalrous viewpoints and actions. Kou is often praised for being a gentleman but he also refuses to swear in front of women so…yeah, very traditional view of gender. Since they’re brothers and seem to act the same way about how women should be treated/how they should express their strength as men, it’s not a reach to assume this chivalry was instilled in them by their clan

I am the Number One Papa Minamoto Hater so yeah, I believe that man is a homophobe. I have little to no evidence for this other than he has rancid vibes but I stand by it. Teru and Kou both seem fairly comfortable with queerness in canon though (Teru treats the men that flirt with him the same way he treats the women, Kou openly holds hands with Mitsuba during the PP arc when everyone could see them), but I could still see them dealing with some internalized homophobia. Not just from the homophobic dad headcanon, but because they both have very strict views of what a man should be. Strong, reliable, unshakable, protective. These align with the societal expectations for masculinity, which are deeply intertwined with heteronormativity and thus heterosexuality. I’ll admit, I run with that narrative in my Terukane fics

I see the development of Terukane as a slow process which involves Teru becoming more comfortable with his queerness and also reflecting on his own wants and needs regarding his future for the first time. He’s unhappy with his life as it is, and Akane wouldn’t put up with that. He’d make Teru take his own feelings into consideration, which would lead to a series of very difficult revelations for Teru. So the majority of the slowburn is Teru learning to accept that he cannot find true happiness within the path that has been paved for him, including the expectation of marrying a woman (or of not loving men, depending on whether I’m writing him as gay or bi)

Once they actually get together I see Teru becoming much more comfortable in his own skin. He doesn’t hesitate to be grossly affectionate with Akane in public, but mostly because he does it to annoy Akane. During more serious moments, the aforementioned internalized homophobia might make him feel awkward about being with a man. And they don’t show any affection around his father, which isn’t really a problem because the dude’s never home

[toestalucia]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

im easy...........and like too much.......personally ! i prefer akira with the older wizards, ive talked about being in those ship tags ummmm a lot<3 i cant narrow it down further......the twins are an exception but ive been over that in the past. atm i like emu with mafuyu, rui, nene & akito a lot :D theres def more (like honami i think would be cute! and i do like her with tsukasa too, but emu tsukasa besties....), but im like twice her age so i think about that stuff so rarely LOLLLL i thought hard about the rest of my muses but.......?????????? eight/machina....perhaps...........sofia/forte.......yeong/tara......(cagli teehee)

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

i lov drama. with gran it comes natural cuz welcome to ur 'assuming things w/out asking' and 'thinks way too much into the future where they dont want to settle down' captain. i think akiras the most tender of all of them? and most likely to actually bring up issues? sofia is fun because i think about the event where she Doesnt speak in opposites and micah ends up rly confused........being accepted with her weird speech patterns..... natsume too, either staying at the accepting his weird behavior (jumping, scared expression, running) or having the 'i can see youkai' convo....yknow.....its good...i know tanuma alrdy had a convo like that (UNREAL CONVO i miss it) but yknow. Overall ! anything. mostly. theres some 'ohhh angst' topics im not interested in, so i think most stuff stay on the more lighthearted/loving side tho

how large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

feel like a fraud everytime i say that i personally wont write akira with some of the 20yo's cuz im always close to deciding to make akira closer to 30. and then i say i like akira with figaro & oz......the ancient ppl......

are you selective when shipping?

rather than selective i just dont ask ppl........and i have no interest in making relationship calls nor liking them........i want to see where the writing goes first cuz i knoowwww i sometimes say gran would say x but then i write it and y happens yknow LOLLLLLL i'd be open to jumping into stuff on discord or something tho i think ? i think i could jump into romance stuff no problemo then cuz it'd feel slightly separated from here...?! cuz idk but theres something when i open this blog that i......its a very slowburn......if ure willing to spend some months writing so gran can become more accepting of the idea then its go go go. does this make sense. well either way im not sure tbh. grans a bit added difficulty too considering how i deal with their age LOLLL since cygames is pushing 15yo still. which gives me a headache seeing how the summer events etc are explicitly yearly.....i cannot write act3 gran as a teen, not when theres a political engagement with alliah like cmon....i refuse..........but since ure following this blog uve alrdy read this stuff in my rules/about LOL

either way akiras easier with romance. i just dont approach ppl about it. whenever i make that farmsim blog i wanna be more casual with this stuff tbh...T_^ for funsies............write some yearning...

how far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

not far at all. LMFAOOOOOOOO i use that tag very liberally. its unlikely im writing that stuff anyway....

does one have to ask to ship with you?

:DDDDDDDDDD if i ask u we've probably written for years & years && its starting to reach crush-territory anyway (hello kaitlyn) but man idk what it is....romance is just difficult to write on tomblr rn for me...gran does not make this easier. the issues r endless. can i offer u akira.

how often do you like to ship?

(person whos always in ship tags) (smiley face) (smiley face) (smiley face) can u get into mhyk for akira....or farmsims....................ill ship everything in there.....

are you multiship?

YAAAAAA the idea of having 1 ship on my blog doesnt excite me. even tho i dont write romance atm. LMFAOABKAJD

are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

do u wanna hear about the akifi doujins ive read. or the akifau art where faust puts a flowercrown on akiras head.

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

THIS IS HOW DIANTHA/CLARISSE CAN STILL WIN. i am also a sabrina/leona fan. 'did they interact' no but they should. ppl who lost their husband(s). ppl who both should be AT THE CLUB. me/canaria. me/crystal

finally, how does one ship with you?

u like my posts & listen to my ramblings and i twirl my hair and send u more asks and then it just happens. foolproof.

tagged by: @convxction faty my beloved my everything u should do it for ur multi too.... tagging: @shiningstages kait i think u should do this for ur multi and ramble............

[illfoandillfie]

Hi, I'm so glad you are doing the advent calendar again!

I think someone (or maybe it was me 😅) requested this before but I would love a little blurb related to ADKOE but from Roger's point of view, could be something of a continuation of where the story is now, or one of the previous scenes from his perspective, or even a bit of a introspective moment of reflection when 'y/n' is not there.

Of course no worries if this is not something you would be interested in writing, I'm so looking forward to whatever you post 😊

Thank you! 💕

Blurb Advent 2023: Day 25

ahhh amazing, I was hoping someone would ask for this again lmao, it was the push I needed to actually finish it!

It's set in during the munch chapter. Mostly fluffy with maybe a little angst just from some of the thoughts he's having. It was a lot of fun figuring out and writing so I'd defs be open to doing more of these in the future! Also, it's officially Christmas Day for me here so for those who celebrate, merry christmas! I hope this is a decent sort of present lmao.

Warnings: Modern AU, smut, professor x student, slowburn romance, dom/sub dynamics and discussion of them, munch, conversations about bdsm/kink, body painting, mentions of Dylan, a mention of sexual abuse/rape but nothing graphic and only in a theoretical way.

Roger had been a little reluctant to leave you on your own, but you’d seemed to be doing alright talking to Daisy and Jo and he knew he couldn’t hover around you all day. So he asked Mike to join him in the kitchen, a little curious to see what the other man had made of you so far. And he didn’t have to wait long to find out.   “Well Y/N is just as lovely as you said. Bit shy but that’s understandable.” Mike said as he watched Roger crack eggs into the brownie mix, “How’s it going with her?”  “In one word, surprising.”  “Oh?”  Roger decided how best to elaborate as he mixed the batter, “I don’t want to go into too much detail-”  “Right, cause you’ve never been the sort to kiss and tell,” Mike laughed.  Roger laughed too but shook his head, “No it’s going well I think. She’s still learning, but she’s getting there. Like we played around with some dirty talk recently. Partly just cause, y’know, it’s hot, but also because you’re right, she can be a bit shy. And I’m trying to get her to feel less self-conscious when vocalising what she wants. She was hesitant at first but once she got into it some of what she came out with was...” It was impossible to explain so Roger opted to just gesture emphatically with his hands.  Mike just laughed, “That certainly does sound like fun.”  “Oh, it was.” Roger swallowed thickly as he remembered how you’d sounded admitting that you think about him. He hoped Mike wouldn’t ask too many questions because even just thinking about it now was making his cock twitch and he didn’t want to be too distracted during the munch. But it was hard when he kept hearing your whiney confessions replaying in his mind. When you’d confessed to masturbating more often than ever before. When you’d admitted that he, Roger, made you feel better than anyone else had. If he said any of that out loud Mike would assume it was just the ego boost, which he supposed was fair. He’d have thought so too if someone had told him. Heck, he’d been with women where the ego boost was nearly all he was running on. But not with you. The way you’d said it all, how hesitant you’d been to start, how you’d blushed afterwards. It wasn’t a performance with you. You meant it when you’d said it. And that’s what was turning Roger on. 

But thankfully all Mike said was, “I’m glad it’s going well. She seems like a sweet kid.”  “Yeah,” Roger chuckled, “Mostly.”  “What’d you mean?”  “Look, she is a lot of things – dedicated, intelligent, curious – but she’s also very....” he paused as he tried to find the right word, “You ever have a sub that just wants to rush into everything?”  Mike nodded sympathetically.  “She wants to know it all now, not later. And she’s always questioning the importance of what I’m trying to teach her.”  “Yeah I’ve known one or two subs like that. They think they know best even though they know nothing.”  “Yeah, exactly. I mean, we’ve had arguments about it. I try explaining why I’ve picked what I’ve picked to teach her and usually I get her to accept it even if she disagrees but last week she just wouldn’t let it go. So I got pissed off, probably snapped at her more than she deserved and basically told her it was my way or the highway.”  “I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much, everyone has moments like that.”  “Yeah but that’s not really how I want this thing with her to be. I’d just been saying it was okay if she wanted to say no to learning something or to alter kinks to suit her better, and then I turn around and tell her to suck it up and do what I say or else. That’s not the lesson I want her to learn from all this.”  “Rog I think you’re being a little harsh on yourself. I’m sure she understands the difference.” 

“I know, you’re probably right. I just....She approached me to teach her so she could impress this other guy and he is...” Roger paused again but only so he could take a steadying breath and unclench his hand from his wooden spoon, “I don’t know him, but he sounds like a real piece of work. But she is determined to have him. I just want to make sure she’s prepared and knows enough to protect herself because I worry what could happen to her.”  “You sure you’re not jealous?” Mike asked with a raised eyebrow and a joking grin, “I saw how you were watching her before.”  “I was making sure she wasn’t too overwhelmed by everything.”  “Mmhmm sure.”  “Oh shut up, it’s not jealousy. No, this guy is into some really hard stuff – CNC, free use, somnophilia. She told me he’s even joked about pimping her out to his friends. I’m genuinely worried that if she goes back to him he’ll drug and rape her and she’ll think it’s kink. I need to make sure she understands the difference.”  The smile had fallen from Mike’s face as he took Roger’s concern in, “Fuck, really?”  Roger nodded, “I’m so conscious that there’s a time limit.”  The was a pause as Mike considered what to say, “You’re a good dom Rog. You know your stuff, and I’m sure you’ll be able to teach her how to recognise danger signs, even if she gets stubborn about it first. I mean, you say something enough times it has to sink in eventually. And if she’s as smart as you say she is then she will work it out. Plus, now she’ll have more people she can go to for help if she needs it. Tina will’ve taken one look at the kid and got very mother hen about her, and you know Jo and Daisy’ll look out for her too.”  “Yeah,” Roger sighed, some of the anxiety that had started to build at the thought of Dylan easing off. He pulled a smile onto his face and changed the topic, hoping he had enough time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

When he came back into the main room, Roger immediately looked for you, even as he was laughing at Mike’s stupid joke. Seeing you sitting with the other women was a relief. It was like Mike had said it would be, they’d all taken a shine to you and he could already see that he’d be constantly fielding questions about you from all of them. But then you looked up, and there was something in your expression that made his eyebrows furrow. He forced himself to look away as he announced dessert.  “Ooo brownie? Yes please,” Daisy sounded so excited by the prospect Roger couldn’t help but laugh.  “It’s just a packet mix, don’t get too excited.”   But Daisy hurried towards the patio all the same, closely followed by Jo and then Tina who grabbed Mike as she went, perhaps sensing Roger’s desire for a private word.   It was hard for Roger not to be concerned when you rose slower than the others and reached him after they’d all disappeared. He felt as if you’d have walked right past him if he’d not caught your arm. You seemed almost surprised to see him.  “Hey, how are you going? He asked softly, hoping he sounded normal, “Not too overwhelmed? I know they can be kind of loud but-” 

You moved quicker than Roger was prepared for and he staggered back a little as your lips met his, but nothing was as surprising as how purposeful the kiss felt. Your lips pressed hard to his, your arms wrapping around his neck and without thinking Roger tugged you in close, not sure what had brought on the sudden display of affection but not wanting to interrupt it either. He liked kissing you and it felt too nice to question it much. Thankfully you seemed to want the kiss to continue as much as he did, though that did mean the end of it was just as unexpected as the start.   “What - uh – what was that for?” Roger asked, trying to blink some sense back into his brain.  “For looking after me.”  It took a moment longer than it might have before you’d kissed him, but eventually the pieces all fell into place and he nodded his realisation, “I take it you heard about Daisy’s ex then?”  “Yeah, and some other stuff.”  Before Roger could even begin to wonder what the other stuff could be or to reassure at all, you continued.   “Sorry I’ve been so stubborn about things. I made it harder for you. But I think I understand now.”  “Understand what?”  “About why it’s not all about what Dylan wants.”   That was the last thing Roger had expected to hear and for a moment he considered whether you might have overheard his conversation with Mike. But he couldn’t deny that he was pleased with your admission, and he found himself smiling as he took you in again, “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Do you want to talk about it later, after everyone goes?”  “Maybe.” 

He reached for your hand but thought better of it, switching instead to rubbing your arm in what he hoped was a comforting way. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel pushed into talking before you were ready and yet he was dying to know more. He wanted to send everyone else home right then so he could ask you about what made you understand. He wanted to kiss you again, kiss you a lot, too, just to show you how glad he was. And he wanted to tell you what hadn’t felt right to say the previous week. That he thinks about you too, much more often than he should. That he worries for you and wants to keep you safe. But it would have killed the mood during the last session, and it felt like too much to admit now. Too big of a conversation for right then. And besides, he’s not even sure how to say any of it properly. Mike had assumed jealousy and he doesn’t want you to think the same thing. So instead all he said was, “C’mon, you look like you need some sugar, let’s go eat dessert,” as he gently lead you outside.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

But he did get his chance later. Once again, you’ve surprised him. In a good way, of course. For someone who was so against sensory play to start you’d sure taken to it like a duck to water. He would have felt terrible if you’d found it boring or uninspiring. But instead he got to enjoy a fairly relaxed evening with you. And relaxing was what he needed after how tense he’d been throughout the munch. You needed it too, he decided. Not just because of how draining it was to meet new people and come to world shattering realisations, but also because he’d asked a lot of you over the past few weeks. You’d tried so many new things and been pulled out of your comfort zones. It felt right to offer you an intimate experience that was less intense than what you might have been expecting. He let you just enjoy the sensations and quietly process the day as he prattled on with all the stuff he’d planned for his lesson. And each time you squirmed or giggled when he painted somewhere ticklish, he felt especially pleased. Although, not quite as pleased as he felt when you asked if you could paint him. That was a good sign if ever he’d seen one. Not just that you were enjoying the moment, getting out of your head, but also that you could be interested in taking more control. Of course, wanting to paint on him was not the same as wanting to be dominant in a more explicitly kinky scene, but it was a step in that direction. He watched you closely as you painted his shoulder, wondering if he could ever interest you in testing the waters further. He could feel himself getting harder at the idea of you domming him and tried to focus on what he had to tell you about different paints. It was hard though when you were so close. He could feel your breath as you leaned in, focusing on getting the shape right, and you were so close. You’d been closer, of course, but not like this. It made him shiver as he supressed the urge to pull you into a kiss. And then you leaned back and he mentioned Margo and suddenly things had dissolved into something much sillier. He was nearly breathless from laughing but seeing his finger prints on your arse made him giggle again and something about it pleased him greatly. But then he looked down and saw his cock covered in blue, the paint more evenly distributed where your palm had been, thinner under your fingers. He swallowed hard when he realised he could see your fingerprints in the paint. 

After that things quieted down again. He liked watching you while you painted him, content not to say too much. There was nothing more he had to teach about sensation play, he’d given you all the important information. You were quiet too which was understandable. There was a lot to process from the munch and he supposed dwelling on it while mindlessly painting was as good a time as any. He was just glad to be with you, playing with paint, able to make sure you were okay. And then suddenly, apropos of nothing, you asked how he’d gotten into BDSM. It was a surprise but Roger was happy to answer and he liked that you’d asked the others too, that you’d been seeking out other perspectives. Without meaning to he started telling you about his father. It wasn’t something he’d intended to share, it wasn’t something he really talked about ever. But he wanted you to understand what an affect it had had on his approach to doming, especially now you seemed to have grasped what he’d been trying to teach you about submission and power.    “The line between kink and straight out violence can become very thin at times and there are a lot of people who don’t understand the difference, and some who do but ignore it anyway.” He wanted to tell you that maybe Dylan was one of those people, hopefully the first group more than the second. He wanted to let you know that thinking about what Dylan could do to you, what he fears he would do to you if given the chance, makes him more anxious and worried than anything else. But he didn't want to scare you. And he didn’t want you to think he’d overreacting because he doesn’t actually know Dylan at all. It’s all just assumptions based on what you’ve said. So he keeps that bit to himself, hoping that telling you what he has is enough to keep you mindful about who you engage in kink with.  

Quiet falls again but it’s comfortable, despite the heavy topic. Roger could say more but he gives you time to think about it, absorb it all. So it’s not until he takes the brush back that he asks his own question.   “Did you mean what you said in front of the mirror?”  It had just slipped out. He was going to ask what else you’d discussed at the munch, if there was anything else you wanted his perspective on. But the mirror scene was never far from the top of his thoughts at the moment and it had pushed through just as he opened his mouth.   You were clearly embarrassed to talk about it and Roger tried not to focus on how cute you were when he flustered you. He can feel your warmth when he rubs your thigh, trying to comfort you a little. He gets why you’re uncomfortable. He’s your professor, you’re his student. You’re not meant to think of each other in these ways. But he does. You’re bewitching, how could he not? And he thinks maybe if you know those thoughts you’ve been having are mutual, you won’t have as much reason to be embarrassed by them. So he admits the thing he’s not supposed to.   “I think about you too.”  This time you’re the one who looks surprised and Roger can’t help but feel a little pleased that he’s got you back, just a little, for how frequently you’ve surprised him of late. He wants to say more – that he doesn’t just think of you, that he dreams of you. That after you leave he’ll spend the next night replaying the sex in his mind, jerking off thinking about you. That he spends longer than he should planning your lessons, longer than he spends on his real lessons sometimes. He always gets caught up imagining how you’ll react to things, how you’ll respond, hoping you’ll enjoy what he plans to do to you. He wants you to know that he loves teaching you this stuff, loves how you approach everything with curiosity. Loves....your enthusiasm. But he can’t admit that. You’ve already had to absorb so much today and it’s been such a nice evening. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you. So he asks you more, just to keep himself from saying too much.  

[castlebyersafterdark]

Do you think the duffers are bisexual? (or gay, but they both have had female love interests and one had a whole wife). I just find it so interesting that two completely non-queer male showrunners would choose to tell this intimate queer slowburn love story when they just…. didn’t have to? Not that straight writers can’t create gay characters, but it seems far more likely that they just would have made will being gay as an after thought or even just as a matter of fact thing, not as something connected to their self-insert character mike that takes five seasons to cook. It’s not impossible that progressive straight male filmmakers would do this, but it makes me go 🤨

I know I've made jokes about Matt Duffer being the gay twin and Will being his self insert, using Netflix millions to stage the words most elaborate coming out in history 🤭 Based on vibes (can't explain it, just know it when I see it sometimes) but not entirely based on too much. It's all very vague, mostly light jokes. But also - entirely plausible. There's nothing saying either can't be bi or some sort of queer, why not? I definitely also go 🤨 but there's a part that is also pulling for the idealist in me who thinks that ANYONE can give love and care to any type of character and we shouldn't just write only what we know. Innumerable reasons a straight man might want to write a story like Will's including just - because they wanted to and felt it is a worthy, compelling story. I like that reality.

I do want own voices, more rep, more opportunity. But also - let's say they're straight and pull, this off? Setting the standard. Breaking the expected. OR ALSO - I gave up my search because I could never find the source, but I remember mention at one point maybe here? Maybe on another blog? About the Duffer's inspiration for certain characters and how they had a close childhood friend growing up who was gay, who inspired Will. I cannot find the interview source to prove it's real though and kinda gave up. Regardless, I do trust them. Maybe I shouldn't but I am an intrinsically hopeful person.

[parallel-play-fanfic]

What is this?

This is a Danganronpa, self-ship fanfic and retelling of SDR2: Goodbye Despair written by @my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda.

Full Title: Sensitive Hearts in Parallel Play

Quick summary: Autistic/Adhd queer kids form a friendship and eventual wlw romance despite being in a killing game. Non-despair au, mutual pining slowburn romance, humor, hurt/comfort, eventual OC x (trans girl) Kazuichi Soda,

Long version of the summary, and long notes/reoccurring themes/potential triggers for this story at the bottom (I will also mention any triggers in the story at the top of posts for every time of relevance, so it's okay to skip this post as long as you heed the trigger warnings on the top of each part of the story)

---

Zoey Parker, the Ultimate Cartoonist with a superhero complex, wakes up with the rest of her class on a deserted island and is told to make friends with everybody. She realizes quickly that her autism and adhd might make this difficult, so she decides to enlist the help of a neurotypical student who can be a guide to help her make all the friends, navigate confusing social situations, and understand what is happening around her. For this guide, she chooses none other than...Kazuichi Soda.

Despite Kazuichi not exactly being the expert in normal socializing (or perhaps because of this) the two end up forming the start of a friendship: right on time for Monokuma to show up and turn the "heart-throbbing school trip" into his signature killing game!

...Though, Monokuma is forced to skirt around an annoying new rule that he can't punish the Blackened with violence or death. But Monokuma insists that the killing game is still on! He continues to torment the students, specifically two promising Blackeneds-in-the-making: Mahiru Koizumi and Zoey Parker, who both have big secrets, their lives on the line, and a potential to kill.

But Zoey fights to keep herself alive as she clings onto her friendship (and budding crush) on Kazuichi.

Meanwhile, Kazuichi's friendship with Zoey leads to some realizations about...herself. Not quite ready to come out as a trans girl, Kazuichi constantly flip-flops between her newfound queer identity she can express with her also-queer friend Zoey, and the tough guy act that she puts on for everyone else. And she's not sure where her obsession with Sonia Nevermind is supposed to fit in with all of this. Because she obviously has a crush on Sonia Nevermind (she thinks?), but, she also might have a crush on Zoey? Why does everything have to be confusing?

---

Other Important Notes in the story, this has some plot details but I think it's relevant for triggers and knowing what the fanfic gets into:

The fanfic is mostly humor (a lot of cringe comedy), but there are some reoccurring themes that get heavy...

Zoey is depressed/has intrusive thoughts/is suicidal (I will always give bold warnings on the top of the posts where this is relevant to the scenes and make relevant tags, you will not be thrown into anything triggering without warning, I promise.)

(Self-harm mention!) While Zoey doesn't cut herself, she does things like neglect her needs (e.g. letting herself get too hungry) and sometimes act recklessly knowing something could kill her, and that can be disturbing. I'll always give warnings for this stuff being in posts as well.

This oc is my self-insert. I was depressed/suicidal as a teenager, but I am no longer depressed/suicidal and my intrusive thoughts are fewer and more manageable. You don't have to worry about me bc of this fanfic. I chose to process the feelings (not based on real events, but just feelings of loneliness and trouble making friends as a neurodivergent teen) through this fanfic.

No family drama in this fic: not that it didn't exist, more like I don't wanna write about it, so it may get mentioned if relevant but no flashbacks/long stories about it and it's mostly irrelevant to the fanfic. This goes for both Kazuichi's and Zoey's families. I don't even want to see Kazuichi's dad, let alone draw him.

Kazuichi is in the closet for most of this fanfic (and doesn't know she can be a girl in the beginning) so expect a lot of he/him pronouns/misgenderings bc she's still in the closet. She is still named Kazuichi and likes her name. I'll give warnings for any transphobia, though I don't have any plans for characters being transphobic. Most of them are either accepting or Fuyuhiko (hella confused but too awkward to make a confrontation about it, but he comes around).

This fic does have a lot of internalized transphobia though, for both Kazuichi and Zoey (who is bigender, she/her pronouns)

Zoey and Kazuichi character growth and long conversations and just hanging out together fluff.

Teruteru is a recurring character and I write him as sort of a bastard (/affectionate). Actually writing him as a "lovable pervert" compelled me. So he is kind of a mom friend and a sexual harasser at the same time. The characters are put off by him but I find him funny.

Mahiru is sort of an antagonist because when I first played the game I found her annoying and sexist. Still, I try to write her in-character, and I've come to like her better through writing this fic and forcing her to confront the past, so I believe in character growth for her (and Nagito too!) To be fair, Zoey also has her annoying moments here, and most of them are around her (sometimes ridiculous) conflicts with Mahiru. For one thing, Zoey thinks Mahiru taught Hiyoko to be a bully. This is how Zoey misunderstands the situation but is still a character calling Mahiru out on some stuff other characters let her get away with.

Mahiru and Nagito friendship.

Lot of "will they or won't they" with Zoey and Kazuichi even though it is obvious as hell where it's all going. It's like they are eternally in a contest to see who can be more obvious about their crush and who can be more oblivious to the other's crush. They're both winning (which means losing) for like half the fanfic, maybe more than half?

Boob focus in the humor and the gender dysphoria (Zoey has a character development arc about her chest. You can laugh, it's meant to be funny, though keep in mind the author actually does have chest dysphoria).

I like writing "cringe comedy", ridiculous conversations/scenarios, characters (and their conversations) leading the plot, and foreshadowing.

This fanfic gets fucking bonkers and please let me know what moments made you go "Wait, what the fuck?!"

[consistentlyamess]

We'll see about that - Chapter 2⎮‘Cause you’ve got too many scars to hide

[4.8K] who?me?getting carried away? never!

pairing(s): steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: You just wanted a fresh start but you might get more than you bargained for when the sleepy town of Hawkins lives up to its reputation.

warnings: takes place after season 4, 18+ , MDNI, slight age gap (reader is like 2 yrs older than Steve), canon typical violence, mentions of a lonely childhood, mentions of difficult relationship with parents, swearing, eventual smut, abusive relationship, brief stancy storyline, strangers to friend to lovers, pining, storm, pnaic attackish happening, mentions of blood and injuries, slowburn, flashbacks in italics, i changed a tiny thing compared to the sneak peek but i think it's better this way, sorry and lmk if i missed anything!!

A/N: HI HELLO!! thank you for your patience and all, it did take a lot longer to churn this chapter out that I expected but here we are!! comments, like reblogs are apprciated as always or just come chat at me! And as always 💜💜💜 TY for reading!!!!💜💜💜 Fic Masterlist Previous Chapter I Next Chapter Coming Soon

‘You sure you have everything?’ Laura asked with a worried look in her eyes. 

‘Yeah, I think so. Wasn’t much to begin with really.’ You tried to laugh it off but it came a little broken. A little less careless than you would’ve liked. 

‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t do more.’ Laura almost whispered and gave your upper arm a light squeeze. She tried to be encouraging but it was more along the lines of ‘I’m sorry’. 

‘You did way more than you ever signed up for Lore. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even be here right now.’ 

‘I just-‘ She tried to finish but couldn’t. She just shook her head instead and searched your face a little.

‘How’s your nose?’ She touched the gauze for a second. 

‘I’ll be fine Lore. It doesn’t even hurt that much anymore. The doctor said I won’t even be able to see it in a couple of months. The stitches in my eyebrows might show a little. But you’ll have to be really closely. It’s all gonna be fine. I promise.’

She nodded hurriedly, fervently. Willing your words to be true. 

‘You’ll call me when you get there?’ 

‘Of course! And I’ll write and maybe you can come to Hawkins sometime.’ You smiled whistfully. Maybe someday. 

‘Okay. Are we completely sure that the old car is taken care of?’ 

‘Hundred percent, yes. The plate is gone and it was sold like two states away.’ She said a lot more confidently. That they could take care of. The least they could do, she felt like

You took a deep breath.

‘Okay.’

‘Okay.’ 

You hugged each other and suddenly it did feel a lot more like saying goodbye. You cried in the past few weeks. A lot. But it was mostly out of frustration. Maybe anger. The sadness of it all you tried to keep hidden, even from yourself. It was too much to bear all at once. You had to keep going and if you let yourself consider the full weight of it all, it might crush you and the hole thing would fall apart. You couldn’t let that happen. For Laura. For your mom. For yourself. You kept it together though, the roared up, you watched Laura disappear in the rearview mirror and your were off. You drove about ten minutes before you had to pull over and cry for a good five minutes, uninterrupted because the tears just kept blurring your vision. This was it. You did it. You got out. 

——

Fall arrived with full force in Hawkins in the middle of September. Leaves started ruffling slightly more dryly in the trees, the sun became less punishing, nights started to feel a lot more cozy with a cup of tea in your hand. 

You did meet Miss Kelly in the end. As well as the other teachers. Well, the remaining ones. You never really had difficulty with creating connections. You were nice and open to people. You had a good sense of humor and way of putting people at ease fairly quickly. One of the reasons you thought Robin gravitated towards you. The teachers of Hawkins Elementary? Not so much. You, yourself were a little bit rusty. You became a tad more guarded and careful but that was nothing compared to them. They avoided eye contact, dodged every invitation and initiation of conversation. The children were a lot similar. The reward stickers didn’t work, you scaresly got a chuckle or a smile when you made jokes or tried to ease conversation. They came in, they did the work and that was it.

In this environment it didn’t take long for an uneasy feeling of impending doom to set in the pit of your stomach. It was unsettling to say the least. With work kicking in and trying to crack the code to the good graces of your students or at least easing their worries a little you didn’t really have time to hangout with the crew. You shared a coffee with Nancy here and there and you really cherished those mornings. You totally got what Steve saw in her. She was smart and kind and made you feel welcome. But under the demiour exterior she still had a kick to her. Some fire and fierceness that made you quite sure that she could kick anybody’s ass if she wanted to. Will slowly became a regular after classes to hangout, talk about art and get some tips as well. You felt a lingering sadness in him that you were all too familiar with. But you could also feel how he softened up after being shown kindness. It broke your heart a little bit but you were happy to provide those moments of serenity. A little relief feels like a lot at certain times. Jonathan usually picked him up and you chatted sometimes. You felt a kinship with that you couldn’t really place, until it was made clear that their father was also an asshole and he, just like you, was somewhat of a weird kid in high school. Everytime the topic of Nancy came up however, he immediately became more guarded and tried to avoid the subject as much as possible. You were extremely curious but didn’t want to push him. 

—-

The third hiccup happens when you and Robin are arguing about a movie at Family video. 

‘What? No fucking way, there’s nobody who’s hotter that Pheobe Cates!’

‘Thank you!’ You hear Steve shouting out from in between the rows. Robin gives you a ‘see?’ look. 

‘Okay, not the best company, but I do stand by it. Phoebe Cates and maybe Molly Ringwald.’ 

‘Are you sure you’re straight?’ Robin asks you with a playful tilt in her head. You don’t have a chance to answer because the whole store shakes. It’s an earthquake. You heard about them but never experienced one. Your balance is thrown off, some tapes hit the ground but the shelves stay and for a second you’re not sure if it’s really happening. Robin then disappears behind the counter, Steve calls out and from 83 you to 92 percent certainty that it’s real. Robin emerges, Steve gets back and a blind man wouldn’t miss the look they share. 

‘Peach’ Steve comes up behind you. ‘ You okay?’ He asks. He’s holding your elbow and at this point you’re not entirely sure where the disorientation is coming from. He squeezes a little harder. ‘Hey, everything’s alright, we’re all good.’

‘What was that?’ You ask in a voice that’s a little weaker that you’d like it to be. 

‘It was an earthquake, they happen here sometimes, we’re all good, but I’m gonna need you to go home now, okay?’ 

‘But-’ 

‘No! Sorry, but no.’ you can feel the way he softens from one second to the other. ‘No, I need you to go home. We know how to handle this, we’ll check in tomorrow and everything will be fine, but you have to go home. Please.’ He’s pleading and the honey brown eyes have their charm whether you’re willing to admit or not. You tell yourself that he’s right. That you’re gonna be safer at home.

So you go. While you’re driving home a storm breaks out. And not just any storm. It was properly raging. Lighting after lightning came down from the sky and the thunders were just sort of blending into each other. You fucking hated storms. The wind was howling and the second you got into the apartment, you cowered away into the corner of your living room. How did it get so bad, so quickly? How was this even possible? Was this the curse everybody was talking about? Catching yourself in the whirlpool of your thoughts, you gripped your knees tighter to your chest. What a fucking pathetic sight, you thought to yourself. It’s just a fucking storm and you’re crouching in the corner like a frightened puppy. Look at yourself, and you think, you can take care of yourself. Adorable. It made your skin crawl because it was him talking. It was his words, his voice, even without him you had him in your head. Grabbing at the sides of your head you tried to stop it. Tried to physically squeeze the thoughts out. But it didn’t work. Turning the TV on also didn’t help much. Your breath quickened, you could feel your heartbeat in your ears and the tears started flowing down your face. You don’t have a sense of time anymore. It might have been a few minutes, it might have been hours. You don’t even have it in you to glance at your watch. 

‘Nonononono’ you practically whined. ‘No, please, stop it. Just stop it please.’ The storm, this feeling, the fear, all of it. You couldn’t drown it out and it made you feel paralyzed but also clenching all your muscles at the same time. Laura told you that her therapist suggested a check-in with herself about every 30 minutes to unclench her jaw. She told you it really helped her. You tried. You really did. But you couldn’t tell your jaw from your shoulders anymore and nothing worked. 

Another shock came to your system when there was a knock at the door. Everything became even more blurred around you and you thought you might throw up. You wanted to go get the gun but you couldn’t move.

‘Go away!’ It was a guttural scream. It came from somewhere deep and instinctual that has been secluded for so long. You were sobbing at this point and then you heard it. Through everything, you still heard it. 

‘Peach?! Is that you? It’s Steve. Are you hurt? Can you open the door?’

Steve. It clicks in your brain and you could swear your heart stopped the same second the thunder and lightning miss a beat. Everything is quiet just in that second and you feel like the world changes settings just for you. Like a personal little raining cloud fizzles, disappears and a warm light appears above your head that starts to melt your frozen limbs and fried out nerve endings. Your movements are still rigid but you feel your fingers twitch.

‘Steve-‘ You whisper in front of yourself and lean forward. He knocks again and you call out a little louder this time. Shedding your blanket, your body starts cooperating. Just keep crawling toward the warm voice. Still, by the time you make it to the door, he’s saying he will break it down if he has to and is not leaving until he sees you. 

The door opens up and he’s standing there, relief washing over him when he lays eyes on you, just to quickly be replaced by concern again. 

‘Hey, what happened, ‘re you okay?’ He wants to hold you so bad but for now is satisfied with finding your fingers in the dark and touching them. You nod, as best as you can, which admittedly is not very good. 

‘W-why didn’t you ca-call?’ You ask just to regret it with the next breath because your throat and voice are wrecked from the sobbing. 

‘Phone lines are out. I also didn’t want to spook you. The last time you got a phone call, you acted a little funny...’ He gets it out in one breath, rushing through the sentence. ‘What happened, did you get hurt?’ He looked you over, searching for something. Teared fabric, blood, something. You put your hands on his shoulder in an attempt to calm or at least slow him down and it only registers properly then that he’s fully drenched.

‘Shit, you’re completely soaked through! Come in, let’s get you dry.’ You’re still unsure of your movements but you usher him in, despite his muffled and somewhat weak protests. He wanted to stay but unlike you he did have some teared fabric and blood on him that you were yet to notice. He didn’t want you to see that but he did crave some comfort after watching Nancy holding Jonathan’s hand while Robin patched him up. He was selfish, he knew that. He tried to tell himself that it has to mean something that after his arm was bitten by a demobat his first thought was to check on you on his way home. He just wanted to see your house, maybe some lights, possibly you moving in front of a window. But he couldn’t see anything other than the flickering of the TV and after the night he didn’t take it as a good sign. Or just really wanted to see you. He thinks both might be possible, even if the letter might make him a little creepy. 

You lead him to the bathroom, the new purpose giving a little stillness to your limbs and voice. 

‘I can put your clothes in the drier for a quick round and get you something to change into. The guy who lived here left some st- Jesus fucking Christ what the hell happened to you?’ the moment you turned on the light you saw it. The cuts, the bruises, the blood, some dried, some fresh. 

‘You should see the other guy’ he tried to give you a cheeky smile but you could tell he was hurting. 

‘Did you get into a fight? Who did this?’

‘Yeah, something like that. But I’m gonna be fine, I promise, I’ve had much worse. Ask anyone, Dustin we’ll gladly tell you about every single time I got my ass handed to me.’ His face is hurting, he’s cold but all he can think about at this moment is that he hates you’re worrying about him. He hates the way your eyebrows crease together as you try to assess the damage he’s taken. He hates the way your hands hesitate to reach out. You clearly had a rough night yourself and he hates he’s making it worse. You open your mouth like you’re gonna say something but it closes again.

‘Okay’ you say finally. ‘Sit down, I’ll get the first aid kit.’ 

He’s dumbfounded for a moment but ultimately glad you’re not asking questions. He’s agitated, he’s scared, he’s alone and he doesn’t trust himself with keeping a secret now. If you start asking it might all just spill out from him which he desperately wants to avoid. You can’t get anywhere near this. Well, not any nearer. 

You come back with hands full of stuff - dry clothes hanging off of your arm, a glass of water in your hand, the first aid kit in the other. 

‘Here’ you start by handing him the water. After laying the clothes on the side of the tub, you hand him an aspirin. ‘This’ll take care of the pain for now. You can take a shower if you want to, then I’ll disinfect your wounds, get some bandages and if you get a good night’s sleep, you’ll be better by tomorrow.’ You spoke so softly, he immediately calmed down and for a moment even forgot that he just barged in on you, on your weekend no less. He forgot to look away for a second though and his eyes started searching yours. Your face was puffy, your eyes were red and there were some sniffles here and there.

‘Were you crying before I got here?’ 

‘Thank you usually works in this situation.’

‘Shit, I’m sorry, I am very thankful but I came here in the first place to make sure you were okay and as far as I can tell, you’re not.’ 

‘I- It’s just… I fucking hate storms.’ Your arms come up, wrapping around yourself. Not being able to hold his gaze you glance down to the tiles and take a deep breath. ‘I’ll be fine, I just want it to be over.’ You start moving for the first aid kit. ‘But you’re a pretty good distraction, so let’s get you cleaned up, shell we?’ You leave him to change and when you go back he’s sitting on the top of the closed toilet waiting for you. You’re meticulous but soft, determined but attentive and the way you balance the disinfectant, the cotton pads is almost hypnotic to him. In return the sense of purpose anchors you and you’re able to tune out almost everything that’s not connected to helping Steve. When you get to a particularly nasty cut above his eyebrow, he hisses. 

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m almost done.’

‘No, you’re okay, this is what you’re supposed to do, right?’ He quotes you back to you and even as his eyes are shut tight you can tell that his face is about an inch away from slipping into a smug grin. He makes you chuckle and he swears it’s a better painkiller than the actual pill you gave him. 

‘Okay, there are a couple of pretty deep cuts here. I’m gonna need you to hold still. Hold onto something and tell me about a good memory.’ 

‘A good memory?’ 

‘Yeah. I learned it with kids. When I have to tend to them, making them talk keeps their mind occupied and lets me apply the disinfectant or put a bandaid on.’ 

‘Huh, that’s smart’ he looks up at you with a goofy grin and sparkling eyes and you have to clear your throat to remind yourself what you were doing. 

‘So, good memory. You have anything?’ 

‘Yeah, sorry, yeah, I got it. Do your worst.’ 

‘Alright, start talking, pretty boy.’ The nickname slips out so effortlessly, you almost don’t notice it. The way his lips part a little and the tip of his ears run pink clues you in that you did indeed say it out loud and he did hear you. 

‘Uhm, yeah, I, uh, the first thing that came to mind was the day I got my car. And before you roll your eyes, I know how it sounds and for a long time it was like that. Being the only 17 year old who was driving around in a brand new BMW instead of a banged up used car my parents passed down was pretty sweet. It was a guilt present from my dad because he forgot my birthday that year.’ A peng of pain hits your heart. He doesn’t sound very hurt now but you can imagine it wasn’t always like this. ‘I could drive my friends and girls around and it did feel like a sanctuary sometimes. Then those friends turned out to be not very good people, the girls turned out to be more interested in the car and pool in the backyard than me and shit happened and I got my heart broken and then I started driving this little shithead around and the car didn’t change and I basically still just drive people around but those people happen to really like me, for god knows why, and it got us out of some deep shit and I’m actually afraid of the day when it breaks down finally or I have to sell it or anything because half of my goddamn life is in that car.’ You pull away as he finishes his story and let his hair fall back to his forehead. You move back for a second to wipe a stray lock away from his eyes and then lean back to the sink. Your voice is barely above whisper as you speak again. 

‘You’re all done.’ He touches his face carefully and you watch him with soft eyes. ‘Thank you for telling me that. Technically it wasn’t one memory but I’ll let it slide for now.’ 

His smiles. 

‘What about you?’ 

‘What about me?’ You ask, tilting your head, crossing your arms. 

‘A good memory. I just laid my heart out for you, it would make me feel better if I wasn’t the only one.’ 

‘Okay, first of all, you told a semi-moving story about how much you love your car, ‘laying your heart out’ is a tad dramatic.’ You start packing the stuff you spread around the bathroom. ‘Second of all, I don’t need to be cleaned up or distracted, so maybe next time.’ 

‘Well, that’s not fair! C’mon, just one, just a tiny little story.’ 

‘God, you’re unbearable!’ You roll your eyes playfully. ‘This wasn’t part of the agreement and-’ You don’t get to finish the sentence because there’s a particularly loud crash, thunder and lightning coming down with a real fury. You jump with a gasp bumping your knee on the side of the tub. 

‘Fuck’ 

‘Hey, hey, hey,’ Steve calls, coming up behind you. ‘You’re okay, it’s okay, it’s just a storm.’ He turns you to face him so he can find your eyes. He’s lying through his teeth but he needs you to believe that it’s just a storm. You’re too smart and stubborn for your own good. He can’t slip. 

‘I just really fucking hate storms.’ You say as you lay your forehead on his shoulder.

‘Yeah, I got that.’ He’s careful, he holds you so lightly because he’s scared you’re gonna come to your senses and pull away before he can properly figure out which floral scent is coming from your hair and which one is your perfume and can properly memorize the little baby hair on the nape of your neck or imagine how it would feel to be tickled by them in the morning. 

‘Just breath, I’m here. And maybe if you need some distraction, you could tell me about that good memory, now?’ 

You don’t look up, but you chuckle a little. 

‘Well, when I was a little girl there was this treehouse in the neighbor's yard. I was so jealous of it, I wanted it to have one so badly, or just go up in it, just once. But the house was mostly vacant and I got caught by my mom one time when I was trying to climb the fence, so I just stared at it and wished that someday, maybe I could play in it.’ 

Your voice was a little muffled because you were talking at the bathroom tiles but Steve was listening intently. He pictured you with a petulant little pout, sitting in a garden, burning holes in the treehouse with your eyes. It made him smile.

‘And then one day, out of nowhere, a family moved in. They had a daughter, Lilly, and she just invited me over one day when she saw me in the garden. We played and talked and given it’s not that hard to make friends when you’re eight, we did become inseparable almost instantly. I had such a good time, I almost forgot about the treehouse. I would’ve been happy to just spend the whole afternoon curled up in the grass, talking but then she said she wanted to show me her treehouse and I nearly started crying, I was so excited. We went up and it was everything I wanted and more. I think that was the highest I’ve ever been at that point, I could see the whole neighborhood and it felt like nothing could touch me there.’

‘We spent so much time there. It became like a sanctuary too. We went there when we got our first crushes, when she got yelled at, when we wanted to feel safe. On some summer nights we even slept out there and I think those were the best nights of my life.’ 

During your story Steve was stroking your arm up and down, soothing you, saying with every touch ‘I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be your new treehouse, all you have to do is ask me’. 

‘Technically that wasn’t one memory either but I liked it, so I’m gonna let you get away with it.’ He squeezes your arm one last time and lets go slowly, trying to get you to look up at him. 

‘The storm passed I think. It’s just the rain now.’ 

‘Is it gonna come back?’ 

‘I’m not sure. Maybe. Hawkins has some weird weather sometimes.’ 

‘Hawkins seems to have weird everything sometimes.’ 

‘Yeah, that’s fair.’

With the weather getting back to something you can handle and the house quiet with the dim lights of the bathroom it starts hitting you how close the two of you are standing and how this whole thing has been very, well, for lack of a better word, cozy. Even if it was only the instinct to help someone, he quite literally saved your night. Maybe even you. You’re wondering why exactly he came here in the first place and you find some kind of answer in the way he's looking at you, the way he stayed with you in the storm. It’s the same need to take care of people. It’s the driving the little shitheads around even though they really are shitheads, it’s the trying to distract someone from pain and hurt by making them think about something nice, something happy, it’s the holding a burned hand under cold water and it’s the swiping a lock of hair away so it doesn’t land in their eyes. It’s not something that just leaves you. Heartbreaks and grief can suppress it for a while but the world has a funny way of bringing it out again in the most unexpected moments. Like in a tiny, poorly lit bathroom during a storm from hell, trying to wipe the blood from the cheekbones of the prettiest boy. You inhale sharply because your insistence to keep your distance might be wavering and you know it’s a bad idea. Steve’s still into Nancy, Nancy’s with Jonathan, Jonathan is acting weird, well, everyone’s acting weird. But you keep looking at each other and you’re almost a hundred percent sure, he has similar thoughts running through his mind. 

‘I uh, I should go, I think, I don’t want to bother you anymore.’ He starts talking finally, running a hand down the back of his neck.

‘You weren’t bothering me. If it wasn’t for you I would still be curled up in the corner of my living room.’

‘I can, you know, I can stay too. In a completely non-creepy way. I just wanna make sure you’re okay. I’ll gladly keep on distracting all night if needed.’ 

You don’t miss the slight double-entendre painting the words and you raise an eyebrow. 

‘In a non-creepy way, huh?’ He gets flustered when he fully understands what you mean and what he just said. He’s about to start protesting but his nerves prevent him from being quick on his feet. You save him, mercifully. 

‘I know what you mean, relax. And thank you, it’s very knight in shining armor of you but I’ll be okay now. You should go home, take a hot shower, drink some tea and get into bed. I’ll throw your clothes in the drier and get them back to you.’ 

‘Alright, yeah, you’re right. Thank you for taking care of me, Peach. You’re a lot better at this than I am or god forbid Robin.’ 

‘It’s alright. Thank you for distracting me, Harrington!’ 

‘Back to second names? Really? After all we’ve been through in the last like two hours?’ 

‘I mean, I gotta be careful. Can’t call you everytime there’s a storm, now can I? Gotta keep it professional.’ 

‘You can. You can call me in every storm. You can call me without a storm too, I left my number for a reason.’ You wince a little. 

‘Yeah, sorry I haven’t called, I guess. I’ve just been so busy with school and everything.’ You couldn’t let him know that you tried. You tried so many times but chickened out at the last second every single time. 

‘It’s okay. I can wait. You know where to find me.’ 

He starts walking towards the door and you follow him out. You fall back into silence again, listening to the rain on the roof and the remains of the wind quietly howling outside. 

‘Most of the bandages will last like a week I think but you should change the one above your eyebrow and the one on your left cheek sometime tomorrow.’ 

‘Thanks Doc. And seriously, call me if you need anything.’ 

‘Okay.’ You whisper with a soft smile. 

‘Good night, sweetheart. Get some sleep.’ He says as he comes close to you. He hesitates for a minute and then presses a barely there kiss to your hairline. 

‘Good night’ you whisper back. 

You clock the slight pause after he gets in the car and you watch as the maroon BMW leave. You wonder if this is going to be one of those moments you regret, wishing you could say what you wanted to say, wishing you could just ask him to stay or one of those moments you’ll see as dodging a bullet, wishing you could see everything in that moment.

[softpromise]

20 questions

how many works do you have on ao3? 11 works!

what's your total ao3 word count? 385,785?! wow

what fandoms do you write for? i have primarily published for zelda and one fic for honkai star rail, i've been working on a number of genshin impact fics but we'll see if i ever finish any haha. i miss the days when i could get myself to just post chapters as i wrote them but now i feel like i have to have all or a significant amount done before publishing :')

what are your top 5 fics by kudos? to hold the sun (zelink, complete), pawn structure (zelink, complete), i could only have you in my dreams (danstelle, slowly whittling away at another chapter), thunderstruck (zelink, complete), all in a day's work (working on a re-write!)

do you respond to comments? always and i feel guilty if it takes me too long to respond!! writing fanfiction is fun and cathartic but the reason i publish it is to talk to people about it. please comment on fanfic and feel free to respond again when/if authors reply - it's one of my favorite things!

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ummm i'd have to say i could only have you in my dreams but that's mostly because it's "unfinished" as it stands right now. i love reading and writing angst in a fic but i'm too baby to give something an actually angsty ending :x

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? EVERYTHING ELSE but maybe to avoid a cliche (zelink, complete) because the entire thing was a cliche and predictable and i just wanted it to feel cozy

do you get hate on fics? umm i'm sure i have but i don't really dwell on it. if someone's hating on skill, go off, i'm not a writing major and i'm publishing fics for free. if they want to hate on content/themes, different strokes for different folks. if they think i've done something "wrong", then i'd much rather they bring it to my attention respectfully so i can do better and learn. but at the end of the day, fanfiction is for fun, and i publish things i love and am proud of, and i've been lucky to receive a warm reception!

do you write smut? if so, what kind? absolutely i do! i feel like what i've published is on the kinkier end of the spectrum for a more vanilla reader, but on the vanilla end for a more seasoned reader. i like playing with power dynamics and desperation and worship/infatuation/obsession.

do you write crossovers? if so, what's the craziest one you've written? i haven't, and i don't know that i would! i really like coming up with plots that rely heavily on canon (even if it's just in my own way lol), and struggle with writing concepts that don't. i'm not sure i could get myself to write a crossover, unless it somehow still felt possible within canon!

have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge!

have you ever had a fic translated? i haven't! i'm working on a specific fic that i'd love to have translated into ukrainian eventually, so if there's anyone reading this that might be able to help, hit me up!

have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! to hold the sun with @obsidiangst and @hyperphonic, and pawn structure with hyperphonic. i learned so much through both experiences (and, yes, i'm tagging you both to do this xo)

what's your all-time favorite ship? easily zelink, i've loved them ever since i was a kid. it's the pure love, the cyclical romances, the trauma and the angst and the slow burn... and the forever and ever and ever. i've been really into chilumi lately too - the dynamic of "more than meets the eye" childe and "aloof intergalactic goddess that cares, believe it or not" lumine. i just love pining hahaha

what's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? *looks at wips folder* all?!?!?!?! just kidding (?). i'm really not sure! i did start a midzel piece a long time ago, inspired by carmilla, and i don't know that i'll pick that one up again. maybe i'll try to polish up what i have and put out a one shot instead of the slowburn longfic i wanted to do :')

what are your writing strengths? the easiest thing for me to sit down and write through to completion (pun very much intended) is smut! that's very often the part i finish first, while doing everything else in bits and pieces. i'm generally going for sexy but artsy, with the right mix (for me!) of blunt words and prose. i also feel that i'm good at characterizations that align with/expand upon canon.

what are your writing weaknesses? i definitely struggle with getting all of my thoughts onto the page, and i often have to read and re-read and RE-re-read to see if what i wrote makes sense (i.e. i didn't forget to include anything critical because my brain assumes it's already there). lately i've been having trouble with really connecting to writing, too, which makes the text feel shallow to me. working on being patient and writing one good sentence at a time!

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i love the idea and have a lot of thoughts so let me try to summarize! logistically, i would do it either in brackets (a la to hold the sun) or italics (if it was like a particular phrase in an otherwise english line) or just mention it, depending on the context. creatively, though, to me it's important (and fun!) to start by researching the culture. i also would be more comfortable including specific phrases/pet names rather than entire bouts of dialogue, unless i found a native speaker to help me!

first fandom you wrote for? zelda HAHA if i ever wrote any fanfic before that i don't remember it!

favorite fic you've ever written? hylia's greatest gift. it was something i felt was missing in the fandom, for a lot of reasons, and i think it represents what i'm best at writing as well as what i want to read. it's funny, it's lovely, it's sexy, and i really put no pressure on myself while writing it. i have something upcoming that can hopefully feel similar to me :)

thank you so much to @1up-girl for tagging me, i had so much fun reading your answers and then thinking through them myself! to anyone else reading, if you want to fill this out, consider yourself tagged - share your brain and @ me so i can read!!

[f4rlands]

Hi!! I’m so curious about your busk au!! (Also, absolutely adore trans fem scar and need more things with her, the way I got so excited!!) but yea would love to know more about it! :D (also oooo is it scarian??) (also also! I hope you have a great day!)

HI!! HECK YEAH HECK YEAH, BUSK AU IS LIKE MY BABY I'LL TAKE ANY EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT IT

it's actually a grumbo au! it's essentially just a slowburn romance between them, with a very meet-cute beginning and some very angsty backstories (particularly mumbo im so sorry mr jumbo my beloved...). i don't want to spoil too much in the first ask about it, but i can definitely talk a bit about the plot and characters in it!! i don't imagine i'll end up writing a series for it like i had originally wanted to, so i'm very happy to talk about mostly anything!!

anyway! the general overview!

the au is set in a touristy coastal town, and it follows grian and mumbo, two busks. grian plays the guitar, and he has been since he was very young - it's his one true passion. he wants nothing more than to turn it into a career, to be able to share his music and inspire other people with his creations, but so far it's... not been working out. he works three jobs, just about making ends meet, and he's just like,, chronically tired. this poor man.

anyway, he busks for fun, just to see the way that people flock to his music, and it's a good way to make some extra cash!

mumbo is essentially his opposite - he busks because he doesn't really know what else to do. he enjoys playing the piano, sure, but he doesn't necessarily have a passion for it in the same way that grian does. he's an engineer, making plenty of money to live comfortably and still have a decent chunk of spare time, so he has a massive range of hobbies. he's not necessarily amazing at any of them, but he's decent and they keep him busy, so he's not about to complain.

he started songwriting a couple of years ago, but he daren't play anyone his music because he doesn't think he could stand their disapproval if they thought it was bad. instead, he tends to play seasonal music when he busks - summery, christmassy, and everything inbetween. he plays what people want to hear, and holds anything different close to his chest.

the pair of them play in a similar part of the town centre, on opposite ends of a broad central plaza, but they haven't ever really spoken. until, of course, they do :) i won't get into their meeting now, simply because this post is already long as hell, but i'm very happy to talk about it in another ask, if you were interested!!

and also, YES TRANSFEM SCAR. SHE'S MY EVERYTHING!! she's grian's best friend, an animator who largely works from her own studio and - whenever she has free time - draws caricatures for tourists next to where ever grian happens to be playing that night! :D

(we also have transmasc grian and nb pearl teehee >:))

[highladyluck]

Wifeswap AU: Mat/Faile and Perrin/Tuon

I kind of covered this in Perrin's Cursed Shadar Logoth Ax AU, in that I think Coyote Cauthon would end up with Berelain, and Faile would be his Birgitte-style galpal, and Gun!Perrin/Tuon is a hideous disaster that hopefully doesn't have all its shit hit the fan until after the Last Battle.

2. BUT. Someone on here (and I need to look up who) had a theory that the two birds fighting over a ta'veren were originally supposed to be Tuon and Berelain, and the ensuing choice would have been between allying with the invading descendants of Hawkwing vs the local descendants of Hawkwing. Part of the idea was that this would have tied into the Old Blood thing that Mat had early on, and Mat would have had the raising Manetheren plotline. 3. Aside from the bird thing as it currently is being kind of gross and thematically not super interesting, and the Mat's Old Blood plotline mostly ending up as Early Installment Weirdness instead of tying into the raising of Manetheren, I think there's evidence for this in the fact that Tuon and Faile have a lot of strange little similarities.

4. But keeping the setting and plot the same, and just trying to make it work personality wise... I could maybe see Mat doing like a slowburn friends to lovers thing with Faile? They've got the knife kink going for them & Mat loves a competent violent lady. Mat's a little bit in love with almost every woman, so the trick to getting Mat to fall hard in love is some combination of him being emotionally ready, and also kinda frog-boiling him in slightly escalating feelings that he doesn't notice until it's too late for him to escape. For her part, Faile seems very firmly not into twinks, but otoh that'll help; this is not going to work if Faile comes on too strong too fast. Faile admires competency but also wants a fixer-upper, and Mat does fit the bill.

5. I have to go with a variation on the Gunk Premise for Perrin/Tuon; Perrin has just killed Faile or someone else he loves sincerely, goes off the rails because he can't trust himself anymore, and ends up doing wetwork for Tuon because he wants to be punished, used, and eventually discarded by a professional. Tuon makes him a Seeker and loves him in the way she loves her tools, and I guess if Mat isn't in the picture and she needs to make an alliance she might marry him, but it's pretty unlikely to get healthier or more equal. UNLESS she gets made damane, and Perrin rescues her, and then probably someone else entirely gets them therapy and teaches them both how to be functional people somehow, and they have some sort of hint of a real relationship in the aftermath. Which would actually be kind of cool, but is not something I'm equipped to write, that's like several levels of whump beyond my skill or interest level.

[whichwoods]

ask game going around, ty for the tag @girlpinkdress 💕:) tagging anyone else who'd like to participate

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

3! (completely forgot about my lsts oneshot when i first posted this lmao)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

64,757

3. What fandoms do you write for?

hotd, pjo, and otgw (counting wips and tumblr-exclusives)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

i do not have that many lmao — but in order it's 'like the stars that shine' and 'lightning-stained skies' (though the last is really only still up just because i try to avoid deleting fic on principle 🥲)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to! especially if it's one i can tell someone put a lot of effort into 💕 i often fall behind on replies though, like right now with my tumblr inbox 🥲

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

what endings?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again, what endings?? (my old-ass oneshot that's still on ff.net implying piper and conrad from the girl who could fly get together)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no! i've been very lucky in that realm

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yes! mostly your basic abo, piv smut, though i also have some softcore typical m/m in my drafts :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

yes, but it's the only one i'll ever write simply because i couldn't shake the concept of dipper, wirt, bill, and the beast from otgw and gravity falls as the most dysfunctional friend group ever 🥲 (i encountered the fandoms before i watched both shows) otherwise i don't really care for them lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so! (if i do,,,, when i catch you ricky,,, 👹)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i have not! i'm very open to it, though, if anyone is ever able/interested and wants to reach out :)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no! tbh i don't think that'd jive well with my writing style 😅

14. What's your all-time favourite ship

hard to say! measuring by longest love, maybe piper and conrad from tgwcf 💕 honestly i'm always cycling between ships though — for a long time i would've said percabeth from pjo and i still have a soft spot for them :)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

my post-canon poetree slowburn for otgw 🥲 i'm thinking of maybe posting scattered oneshots so at least some of it can see the light of day

16. What are your writing strengths?

i usually say dialogue, and that's also feedback i've been given! but that's also what i frequently get insecure about lmao 😅

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

people's physical descriptions 🥲 always has been

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i usually opt for just italicizing in english for fictional languages because i'm lazy lol, but i think writing it out in the other language looks better. i don't really care when i'm reading as long as there's a translation somewhere in the chapter :)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson 🫶🏻

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

i guess lsts!

[mysdrymmumbles]

Get to Know the Fanfic Writer

Thank you to the wonderful @slothquisitor for the tag!

When did you post your first-ever fanfic?

First fanfic I wrote was back in like 2002 and it was for The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It was taken down by ffn because it was in 'chat format' (script/play format, but they were little bitches about it). It took years to write and ended up something like 800 pages long? I still think someone just didn't like that it was popular and flagged it as breaking the rules.

First Character(s) you wrote?

Damn near every single character from OoT was in my Link's Revenge fic, though it was a parody, so I'm happy to say I butchered like 95% of their characters on purpose <3

First original story I wrote was waaaaaay back in Elementary school. It was a page long about two kids discovering that a school librarian was a vampire. I think that was like 3rd or 5th grade. I don't remember. But I do know I've loved me some vampires since forever.

Main Character(s) you're currently writing?

The BG3 crew. Mostly the story for Seven Days thus far is from My Tav Idri's PoV, Astarion's PoV, and Shadowheart's PoV, but there are bits from all of the main companions.

Character(s) you haven't written about before but plan to soon?

Minthara, whenever I finally get there. I love her. She's my favorite problematic fav atm.

Fandom(s) you're currently writing?

Baldur's Gate atm. I posted the first chapter for a wow fic like a day before bg3 came out and ideally I would like to juggle to two, but I have been sucked into new fandom hell, so things are lopsided atm. I might try to do both for NaNo this year and see if I can't have a consistent posting schedule for them for the new year.

Platonic Pairing(s) you're currently writing?

Well, in my long fic, there's gonna be all kinds of friendship going down, though I think rn it's mostly Gale/Idri becoming fast besties.

Romantic Pairing(s) you're currently writing?

Astarion/Idri (my Tav) for Seven Days and Astarion/Tav (gn Tav) for my short fics

Your top AO3 tags?

I don't really know how to check that? But they would probably be like: angst, slowburn, adventure

Current platform you use for posting?

Well, if a fic is short enough, I post it here and on Ao3, but the long fics are exclusively Ao3. I used to post stuff on FFN, too, but after getting a, "I'm not gonna read all that, but grats on writing such a long fic," comment for Of a Feather, I don't really think it's worth it to post over there? Idk, I might decide to give it one last chance later on. I did end up getting a nice comment on that fic after the whole thing was written, so there are some nice readers still over there.

Snippet of the WIP you are currently working on?

Idri stills for the fraction of a second. Gale is tired enough that he doesn’t seem to notice. “It’s a family heirloom,” Idri says, smile a little forced, though it could be mistaken for weariness. “My mother would be beside herself if I lost it.” She perks up a little as she adds, “And my grandmother might rise from the dead and go on a killing spree.” Even as Gale laughs, enthralled by the story of how Idri’s grandfather had the broach made for her grandmother in secret because their union was not approved of, Shadowheart cannot help but notice that the note in Idri’s voice is the same as when she told the adventurers about the mindflayer ship. How much of the story is the truth?

Tagging @mousterian-writes, @late-to-the-fandom, @gnomeskillet, @silver-horse, @wickedwitchofthewilds, @brianamorganbooks, and anyone else who wants in!

[thestobingirlie]

I honestly don't see r*nance ever happening. But I do love a challenge, so I'm writing them in a fanfic. And honestly, it's gonna take a lot of work. Mostly from Nancy, since she's never really had to work for her relationships. And if I make Robin's lack of filter a strength instead of a flaw - 'cause the way she talked about her mom saying that didn't sound hurtful imo - Nancy can be held accountable. (I also believe Steve knows she cheated but blames himself for it, which is a common reaction, so he didn't tell Robin) and I don't think he can find peace with it, unless he can close the chapter on Nancy. I still don't know what Robin could gain but maybe single Nancy can develop into someone good for Robin. For me, they'd have to be a slowburn, maybe not even canon at the end of S5, but more implied that they could get together. It also depends if Nancy can live with Steve being Robin’s #1 priority. 'Cause that's why Robin and Vickie won't work out in my fic. 'Cause Vickie does want to come first, which isn't wrong, and Robin can't give her that. But the main reason why they break up, is that Robin calls Steve family and Vickie says that he technically isn't, which hurts Robin 'cause 1. She's adopted and her parents taught her that it's relatives you can't choose but you can always choose your family. 2. If they want kids, and they pick the donor route, one of them won't be the biological mother, which gives them fewer rights (which is still a thing in 2023, except Robin and Vickie can't marry to change that) And Steve'd have to give Nancy the shovel talk 'cause he's seen Robin get hurt before and would never want Robin to get hurt like he was, even if he blames himself for it.

TLDR; r*nance could work, but it needs a lot of work and I have zero faith in the Duffers' abilities

i don’t think r//nance would ever work, but i especially don’t think it would work in canon. there just isn’t enough time to fit in nancy healing from her barb trauma, breaking up with and getting over jonathan, and having a sexuality crisis. and i would kill the duffer brothers if they wrote nancy emotionally cheating on yet another partner.

good luck on writing that fic! sounds like it’ll take a lot of work. nancy’s relationships are just so unhealthy, and i think it’ll take years for her to have a healthy one. and i can agree that robin calling out nancy’s bad behaviour could be good in the long run, though i don’t think nancy would appreciate it, she doesn’t really like being critiqued, and especially by a significant other.

i could see steve knowing about nancy’s cheating, but not wanting to deal with it. but at the same time, he just has such a volatile reaction to cheating, that even if he wouldn’t blow up at nancy, i think he would tell robin.

and i just don’t think nancy would be able to handle coming second fiddle to steve in her own relationship. one of the reasons she and jonathan argue in s3 is because he doesn’t prioritise her, and i think especially being second best to her ex (especially an ex she broke up with) would just grate her the wrong way.

and i’m glad you’re at least giving a reason for why vickie and robin don’t work, most people just ignore her.

and i think steve’s version of a shovel talk for nancy would kind of end up being him listing all the reasons why they went wrong, and telling her not to do the same to robin. i suppose in a way it would end up being the closure that he needs out of the relationship.

but yeah, r//nance to me is just a relationship that would require so much work and healing, that i just can’t see happening within, like, a decade

[ifidogaysomyself]

worlds most pathetic ao3 writer interview

thanks for the tag @aconfusedkitten ! unfortunately i do not publish jack shit but i can answer Some of these questions and also i like tag games. and also for the lols. anyone is free to ask me about any of this btw

how many works do you have on ao3?/your top five stories by kudos/likes? *hall of the mountain king starts playing* okayy soo ;3. i have One (1) fic published on ao3. it has 21 kudos total. all of my fics stay IN the pages. yeah im nnnnot good at clicking post BUT WEBALLL

do you respond to comments? why or why not? if i had any comments on ao3, i definitely would! i used to post on…. other sites and i always tried my best to respond to comments there!

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? ooooh thats a tough one. mostly because ive never um. managed to end a fic. HOWEVER from my outlined wips, it would have to be [svsss] yet untitled bingjiu painshare soulmates au. it’s like in my head man if i ever get to writing it it’s gonna fucking hurt. (actually pretty much most of my inthewips bingjiu fics could go here tbh they’re all bad and end worse)

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? besides the fact that (again) i am really bad at… actually finishing any of my wips (HENCE WHY THEY’RE NOT PUBLISHED!!) this one’s tough because i plan happy (or at least open-positive) endings for pretty much everything, bingjiu notwithstanding, so… i can’t really pick what’s the happiest? i think the least angst involved fic premise i have is a [svsss] no abyss slowburn romance au, since that has like... mostly just silly vibes tbh. unless you're yqy in which case sorry king

do you write crossovers? yes!!!!!! i used to plot them all the time! i don’t really write that many anymore, but there’s definitely a couple in my pages i can think of that i might come back to if i ever go back to those fandoms

have you ever received hate on a fic? ahaha. haha. ha. why do you think i don’t Publish On Sites anymore

do you write smut? if so, what kind? i do write smut! in fact one of the fics i might (???) actually publish if i finish it (and looking like i will) is like . some percent smut. as for what kind, well, i live by the tenet that smut is ideally also a character study. the 2k of blowjob IS in fact a necessary part to the media analysis. any smut i write is probably gonna have something to say about the characters. also i excel at writing Bad Sex That Sucks So Much And Feels Painful To Read. these two things are connected more profoundly than you think. (also my wip that i might publish is svsss cumplane i think that tells enough)

have you ever had a fic stolen? nope! i've disowned fics that i don't care about anymore though so someone might've taken a concept since i basically put a free for all in the last chapters of all of them idk

have you ever had a fic translated? i do everything myself around here. (i translate my own sometimes for fun)

have you ever co-written a fic before? i got into writing long form fic properly because of my beloved bestie crunch who was like do you want to take some yaoi crack cocaine together which proceeded into us egging each other on in a google doc. so yes absolutely some of the fondest memories of my life tbh

what’s your all-time favorite ship? oh dear god difficult question. like really difficult. im gonna give my top 3 instead. SOOO well for nostalgia’s sake i unfortunately have to say [taw] felis is probably my alltime #1 I Will Never Shut The Fuck Up About Them ship. but on like a purely “they have Everything” scale im gonna go biased and say my #2 is [svsss] bingqiu and i likely will stay in bingqiu hell for a looooong time because they literally DO have everything i could want in a ship and more they're insane!! #3 is [genshin] kaeluc because homies got me to rotate what it means to analyse media and the true meaning of varying interpretations at least 3 separate times, and i enjoy seeing those weirdos to this day. HONORARY MENTION [dgs] asobaroryuu because theyre INSANEEE but me and my objectively correct friends are the only people who Get Them. so yeah <3

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? in my wips there is a svsss-inspired bnha au. it’s a banger concept and i have a lot of ideas for it but honestly i am just not invested enough in Making It Happen, so it’ll probably stay in the wips forever. there’s also a good bunch of throwaway fic concepts i’ve had that are cool in theory but i’ll never probably write, but game of self-preservation is the only one i actually started plotting out and writing that i fully do not think i will ever do anything with further. open to talking about it but i just really won't write that thang

what are your writing strengths? i like to think i’m good at balancing crangst a lot. i’m physically incapable of not making things at least a little funny, and i love making blorbos suffer, so this gives me like… mad tragicomedy skills? also i'm pedantic about having plot threads followed up on and the ending being satisfying, so i Try! also i am, for reasons i cannot possibly explain, really good at writing weed fic. the person who knows what im talking about Knows Why and it stays in the grave.

what are your writing weaknesses? Actually Finishing Things, and Actually Hitting Post. those two are related. i have can't focus on one project for too long disease, and i’d feel guilty posting fics i might not come back to just out there, especially since i write non-linearly, so. yeah.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i think it’s cool as fuck more writers should use languages nyehehehehehehe. i kinda do it when writing danmei fics because untranslatable terms are fully undodgeable in that one, so.. can't say i've ever complained

what’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? strangely, for all my actual years long love-hate relationship with it and also my love for felis, i haven’t… written any actual substantial asterisk war fic. i do want to one day i just have uhm. [looks at my evergrowing pile of svsss fic] other interests rn

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written? and, there’s the question i knew immediately how to answer. where the dog lies is a [tgaa] time travel/massive canon divergence fic, and as much as i’m not tgaabrained right now, i know i will come back to writing it, because it’s genuinely my magnum opus, my best fucking work ever. talking about it as a time travel is true but feels a bit reductive, because in the time travel concept is a hidden character analysis/recovery fic that i’ve legit cried about leaning over the keyboard. something that can be so deeply personal. like i WILL finish it one day once i fall back into the tgaa hole it’s my favourite thing ever that i’ve made as a creative.

again thanks for tagging, and again anyone can ask me about Any Of These (this is a cry for help). for the tags uhm. @choctalksalot because i need to drag you into my boat bitch, @memeticallyengineered , @applestorms and . because i’m curious even though we’re not mutuals but we’ve talked like twice so i think it’s fine @ofstormsandfire ! also any of my mutuals who i wanted to tag but the 5 tags per post limit is so so sad to me