#(Louis otoh knows all about two week rules)

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

🍄Mon 21 Dec ‘20🎉

Liam says he just finished his last thing of the year- CONGRATS BUD I know you were stressed about getting it all done!!- and issues a formal thank you to a faithful helper: his laptop, which “has seen more zooms than I've had dinners, thank you... you can rest now.” That last thing he did was an interview about the wizarding world thing, not yet posted, although he then comes back one more time to post a santa-hat bedtime selfie captioned 'merry christmas you filthy animals'. He's leaving us with plenty of prerecorded content to keep the updates going during his break though; for example he and Roman Kemp have something coming on the 27th, which makes sense what with it being a day ending in a Y and all, it's something about a naughty or nice list, I guess we'll see. And in their fourth to last alarm today, the final round of christmas cracker jokes-- bringing it up to date with an “elf isolation” punchline, nice! I mean not in the sense of being funny but like, timely, also Liam is actually back on the alarm so cheers to that.

They could have hit up Louis for jokes-- he's famous for them! Apparently! A museum exhibition in Baltimore (viewable virtually) quotes him as the author of a vaguely science-y joke-- (“why did the mushroom go to the party? because he's a fungi!”). He definitely isn't the originator of it but me as the curator who was like 'well he said this once and any excuse to write Louis' name on this wall, LET'S DO IT'. Everyone but you is out here telling bad jokes Harry, come reclaim your crown sir!

Niall puts on a cowboy accent for the dramatic unboxing of a Diplo promo package (LP, hankie- “very sexy!”, t-shirt, USB stick- “jeez haven't seen one of these in a while”), it's for a country album with features from Julia Michaels, Cam, Orville Peck, and more that came out back in May, and he knocks off some official sponcon unboxing as well, looking cozy in the promotional knitwear.

Aaaand the Clarks are at it again! First grandma Ruth said Louis was in LA with Freddie until two days ago (she also said he was going to spend xmas with him, pick one lady, but anyway) and everyone put on their thinking caps and were like okaaaay he COULD have flown to LA the day after his show and been there the 13th-18th but that seems crazy and would mean NO quarantine on either end (definitely not allowed in either place), but there's a rumor that Harry is back in London maybe Louis went to LA and got him or something?? But just when they almost had us, enter Brett to try to oversell and screw it all up- in response to a fan pointing out how ridiculous that was, Brett said 'no it's not, Louis was there for two whole weeks his livestream was just prerecorded' LMAO. This is pretty epic since your options are now: you can believe that Louis pulled a conspiracy of moon landing level complexity to pretend that a show that had been recorded previously was live, enlisting not just Veeps but also dozens of people also pretending it was happening at that time, many of them on their obscure official business accounts, without a single slip up, for NO REASON (he could have just visited the kid at... any other time, or had the show at a different time, or been like here's a prerecorded show), OR you can believe that Brett and his family are, hmmm, giant liars! Wild notion!! Sooo anyway guys tell me again how YOU don't believe in wacky conspiracy theories like us crazypants larries... I'm waiting...