#(LIKE ..... tbh I post things expecting others to just pick up on the news and make their own posts aha)

[faaun]

pls i need to provide updates

[intuitive-revelations]

Headcanon: one of the reasons why Gallifreyan is a) so complex, and b) so inconsistent, is because it's less one language and more a complex mishmash of thousands of languages and dialects.

Think about how one of the reasons English can be complex to learn is because of the mix of Germanic and romance language roots, and now take it up to 11.

While one might expect Gallifrey to be monolingual, given its age and class structure, this probably isn't technically the case. After all, why limit your culture to one language when the average citizen is effectively panlingual (to the point that TARDIS translation circuits are actually dependent on their pilots' knowledge, rather than the other way round)?

Thus, if there once were distinct languages on Gallifrey, they probably have all been merged at this point into modern Gallifrey's super-Esperanto. Add in loan words from notable civilisations across all of spacetime (but likely primarily from Gallifreyan colonies and allies like Dronid, Minyos, Cartego etc.), and it quickly becomes quite unwieldy.

It's also likely that there's a lot of overlap between these sub-languages, which can make distinguishing meaning hard to an outsider. Gallifreyans likely get around this courtesy of their telepathic connections.

TBH, given Time Lord sensibilities, it's likely that every single word variation has its own delicate meanings, derived not just from their societal uses but also from the etymology and history of each one. Canonically (though I don't have a source) we know that there are 30 different words meaning "culture shock", for example, which likely have very minor distinctions in meaning. We also know, unsurprisingly, that there's at least 208 tenses to help in describing time travel.

As an example - imagine being a Sunari ambassador at an embassy gathering and accidentally offending every Time Lord in the room because you accidentally used a definite article derived from the memeovored Old High Tersuran colony dialect, now considered low-brow by association with modern Tersuran, when you intended to use a nearly identical form of the word originating from the Founding Conflict, a triumphant post-Rassilonian intervention, distinguished by a near-imperceptible glottal stop.

It's likely that some of these Gallifreyan sub-languages/dialects may still be spoken with increased frequency under certain conditions, such as in one's own House or when visiting other city complexes. We know, for example, that Arcadia seems to be associated with a "Northern English" accent (which Nine picked up subconsciously post-regeneration, with the Fall of Arcadia being one of the last things the War Doctor remembered before DOTD's multi-Doctor event - hence "lots of planets have a north") when translated, which may indicate some dialect differences in the original language. I suspect there is a societal expectation for Gallifreyans to code-switch depending on the situation, with Citadel business generally expecting the Gallifreyan equivalent of RP, though it's relatively common for Time Lords less concerned with respectability and politicking to not comply.

One nice benefit of all this complexity, and the reason I made this post, is that there's a good argument to be made that every fan attempt to construct a Gallifreyan language can be 'canon', contradictions and all.

Greencook Gallifreyan? A formal evolution of Pythian prophecy scripture into the post-Intuitive Revelation era (based on its similarities with the Visionary's scrawling in The End of Time).

Sherman Gallifreyan? A modern katakana-like phonetic alphabet for the rapid-onslaught of new loan words following President Romana's open academy policies. Recently adopted by the Fifteenth Doctor for writing human proverbs.

Teegarden Gallifreyan? An archaic but recognisable near-Capitolian dialect from the Prydonian mountains, once spoken by Oldblood houses like Lungbarrow and Blyledge.

Or, in a nutshell, the state of Gallifreyan conlangs (and maybe in-universe Gallifreyan dialects):

I guess the dream project would be to accept the complexity and create some sort of grand modular "meta-Gallifreyan" conlang, merging as many fan interpretations as possible with their own distinctions and overlaps, that can continue to be updated as new ideas come up and new stories are released...

[namelessdumbass]

Rite Here Rite Now

It was amazing and funny. Copia girlies and boys fucking won!

I expected different outcome, tbh. Tobias managed to surprise me and also made me a tiny bit sad (reasons will be explained in the spoilers below).

The film consists of like 95% of concert footage and 5% of off stage/plot stuff. The quality of sound and editing is just 🤌 I expected the live of Twenties to be good and gosh Ghost delivered. And Mummy Dust...Tobias let Mary Goore out! But i honestly prefer Terzo's version (CaD) better. Sorry not sorry haha. Ghouls/Ghoulettes footage. Everyone who loves them will be very veeeery well fed!

Dance Macabre live...i was'nt wrong when i called it a satanic gay party 😁

The movie is worth watching and i do hope Ghost releases it as soon as possible for all those who were not able to go.

The spoiler free review ends here. Don't read further if you don't want to spoil it for yourself. And please, don't copy them and paste it everywhere for the sake of ruining other people's fun! Seriously, don't fucking do that!

If you accidently clicked here, don't worry! spoilers will be below and you still have a chance to avoid them :)

Alriiiiight:

Movie starts with Saltarian who tells fans to record for the first 2 minutes, to show how happy they are etc and posted a qr code for fans to upload those recordings. I guess it will be put up on RHRN website. We'll see. There were also photos of fans who attended LA ritual. I fucking loved the person who showed up in a giant Plushia suit. I LOLed! Then fans were asked to put down the phones and enjoy the movie. The beginning was narrated Star Wars kinda style (a little bit) with the small recap of the chapters and about Copia's worries that he might die. And yes, it literally began in space lol. The movie is basically is like what we saw in small snippets Ghost posted earlier. Plot mixed with a really good show.

And the plot: -Short footage of Copia and Ghouls arriving. ALmost the whole set was the same as any other concert from Re-Imperatour + a few awesome exceptions. -Dews does that annoying thing with guitar, Rain stops him, takes his pick and throws it into the crowd and Dew...he freaking showed him YouSuck sticker on the backside of his guitar. Peak Dew moment! -Copia asked the right question about the Clery. He also does not quite understand what it does, why and where it goes. I suppose Tobias decided to thicken the Ghost lore a bit and will have more clarity in the nearest future. -Remember when Copia jumped at the end of the Watcher in the Sky? He ended up in one of those stage boxes (for equipment or something) and is taken to the stage B. While he's carried to it by Kevin he has a chat with Nihil's ghost. Nihil says he recorded not 2, but 3 songs. That probably means that we'll hear a new one. (UPD: the new song we heard during the credits, "The Future is a Foreign Land" is Nihil's 3rd song! Confirmed by Tobias himself in a new interview). He also tells Copia to breath in deep and then farts. -On the Stage B Copia sings "If You Have Ghosts". 3 Ghoulettes played piano and violins and the 4th one did the haunting ghost-like opera vocals. It was beatiful. Copia kissed her hand. -He then wore boxing robe and went next to crowd. Almost the whole scene was shown in the trailer. -Btw, remember that silly moment when Nihil's eyes were crossing? Well, Kevin was also included in that staring contest. -Twenties live. The skeletons, the performance and one of those skeletons who crawled between Dew's legs...that's hot. -Nihil calls Copia "son". Copia calls Nihil "Dad". Cardi will insult him later, don't worry. -Nihil/Seestor cartoon during MOAC. Yes, that's when Sis hit him with the car. Basically it's what happens after "Kiss the Go Goat" mv. Sister leaves and Nihil runs after her. "I'll never let you go". They end up kissing in a coffin on a graveyard , later Nihil wakes up naked in a bed in a motel and we see Sister leave. -There was a moment in a movie when we see Ashley (stage crew) bring Copia a new pair of shoes and put the on on his feet. Tobias, goddammit what the hell was that? :D -Seestor was a in wheelchair all the time -She and Nihil encouraged Copia throughout the whole movie and gave him a piece of advice. -About the baloon from the poster. Copia flies on it after finishing the set...or he imagined that because a few moments later after Nihil/Seestor flashbacks he ends up on the floor and watches Seestor die. All of the Ghouls and Ghoulettes also stood right next to her. -Copia has a twin brother -Copia didn't die and became the head the Clergy (Father Imperator or something like this). He found out about his new position from a letter Seestor left for him. -New song during credits (credits show dictators, assassinations, wars and the use of nuclear war). Years 1984 and 2024 mentioned. The song is not heavy. -Ghouls/Ghoulettes real names mentioned in the credits -Funny post credit scene with Copia. He had no piant on and had a new cool drip (with black jacket and red and black cross). Seestor is also a Ghost now. Tobia's children cameo. They're also Ghosts. -Papa V is teased the same way Copia was teased in a chapter 1. They even used the same music (Pro Memoria). No face reveal. Either he will be revealed in new Chapters or at some point during the new tour???

-aaaand my biggest disappointment: no footage of Primo, Secondo and Terzo. Literally ZERO.

I mean, Nihil is a Ghost, Seestor also became a Ghost, even Tobias' children made a cameo as Ghosts, but nothing for previous Papas? Really?! The same could have been done for them, but i guess Tobias doesn't care about them anymore :( And it hurts. I know that's my fault that i had so many expectations and hopes, but holy shit :( As a newbie who never saw previous Papas, i'm so sad i'll never get a chance to see them and there won't be any new footage of them. Being Terzo widow is so hard. Guess that's why i'm a bit salty Copia lives (sorry, guys, i like him, but i also hate him haha)

And yes, as it turned out the twins theory from Square Hammer was true...but not for Terzo 😭

I enjoyed the movie nevertheless. It's fun and kinda gives you an opportunity to see the band "live" if you've never been to a ritual before. And yes, the movies was'nt just about Papa IV and his fate, i believe it was also Tobias' message for us to enjoy the life rite here rite now! As i said, Copia's girlies and boys truly fucking won. Congrats, lads, your Papa lives and will live! I bet that feels amazing. Thanks for reading! P.S. since you know the plot, don't spoil it for the others please.

[madlori]

I'm asking this to you because you're the only person I know who's been around fandoms for so long — do you find this shipping-situation weird? I've been in many fandoms but I've never really seen this insistence on there being only one acceptable ship for a character and encouraging the idea that anything other than the norm is almost sacrilegious. Almost every big fandom over the years have had multiple conflicting pairings, take for example, Marvel. Even works of media that have a canon romantic pairing have had fans who ship others with the leads (that was what shipping was tbh) and no one has ever shown up to their doorsteps with pitchforks in hand, at least not that I'm aware of. So I guess I'd really like your opinion on why you think this is happening now? Have things always been this way, just not in plain sight? Is this just the new fandom culture that is developing now with the influx of younger people? Or is this fandom an aberration where a group of people are so used to being the majority that they simply aren't taking well to things not going their way?

I've been thinking about this today, and I'm still not sure what I think.

I've been in fandoms with a hugely dominant ship before. I've been in fandoms that had ship wars. I've been in fandoms with a lot of peacefully co-existing ships. I'm not sure this fandom is really all that different. To answer your first question, no, I don't find it all that weird. In fact I sort of expected it.

Let me tell you a story about the Brokeback Mountain fandom, which managed to have a ship war despite having really only one ship, the canon ship. So BBM fic fell into several broad categories, the biggest of which were fix-the-ending/canon divergence fics and the straight-up AU fics (I wrote one of each, lol). Post-canon fics weren't as common, because you had to deal with one half of the canon pairing being...well, dead.

There was a post-canon fic that gained a lot of fans...and when I say "fic" that's really an understatement. It was a SAGA, and I don't use that term lightly. It was a series of like...6 or 7 epic 100K+ word fics and it was over a million words total. The author would put out more than one 5K chapters per DAY. I'm still in awe of this woman's output. But it was the content that created the issue.

(Brief recap for those who have not seen BBM - two ranch hands in the 1960s, Ennis (Heath Ledger) and Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) spend a season herding sheep together, have sex, form a bond, then separate to go about their expected hetero lives but get together for fishing trips every year or so to have sex and spend time together. Jack wants more, Ennis is terrified. Both marry and have families. Eventually Jack dies in what is implied to be a gay-bashing but who knows, and Ennis makes his peace with the love he'd felt for him)

The saga picked up a couple of years after the film's events. Ennis decides to tentatively explore what being queer means, goes to Laramie, finds a gay bar, and very cautiously enters. Through a Series of Events he gets mixed up in an assault there and befriends a local sheriff's deputy, who is also gay. They begin a relationship.

Now, this series was COMPLEX. A huge cast of characters, a long and thorough evolution of this relationship, a lot of angst over Jack's memory, and it really worked for a LOT of readers. The new love interest she created was a really great character.

For others...it did not work and they hated it.

The animosity between fans who loved this saga and those that did not grew pretty heated. This was like '05 so there was no twitter or tumblr, this was all on LJ and dedicated fandom forums (some of which banned discussion of this fic for this reason), but there was doxxing and namecalling and real vitriol.

I guess my point in all this is that when there's strong feelings, some fans will find a way to be horrible to each other.

I was in the Sherlock fandom, another fandom 98% dominated by one ship. There were other ships, but somehow they seemed to co-exist mostly peacefully barring some snide remarks and rude comments (I could be wrong about this, if you asked someone who shipped a non-Johnlock ship they might have a different answer). No, the insanity in the Sherlock fandom was not ship-war-related.

I was also in the Criminal Minds fandom, which has a whole bunch of disparate ships and no ship wars that I can recall.

Then there are other fandoms, like Avatar, with TERRIBLE ship wars that are still going on.

I don't think the situation in 9-1-1 is as unique or different from other fandom wanks as has sometimes been asserted. I think terrible fandom wars are sort of inevitable, whether they're ship related or not. But for what it's worth, here are some of my thoughts on what's going on here.

A loooooong time (5.5 seasons) with one very dominant non-canonical queer ship. No other ship really ever approached the level of saturation or devotion of Buddie.

A pervasive belief that this ship might possibly become canon. That's a feature a lot of other ships do not have.

A lack of intense devotion to any of the other love interests. BuckTaylor was never a challenger to Buddie. Neither was Eddie and Shannon, or anybody else. It's hard to fight when there's no worthy challenger.

But now? BuckTommy is not only canon, but it has a lot of fans. It's a threat. And it's not only a threat in a feelings kind of way (as in, people like a thing that is not the thing I like and it makes me upset) but there's a perception that it's an ACTUAL threat, as in if people like this ship and promote it, it could cause it to become a permanent relationship (the degree to which fan response actually affects how the show unfolds is...debatable).

I do not personally think this is the case, but some fans strongly believe that Buddie could still happen if it weren't for BuckTommy. So if you're still wanting Buddie and believe it will or could happen, the existence of an alternate love interest represents a direct obstacle to that happening. That's a heck of an incentive to hate that competing ship. I get it.

That...might be a somewhat unique situation. There's a fight now because there's a challenger who might actually stand a chance.

This goes along with what we saw in the immediate aftermath of 7x04. I read someone else say (apologies, I don't know who it was, feel free to @ me if it was you and I'll credit you) that the early post-7x04 enthusiasm and acceptance of Tommy reflected the belief that he was temporary. A lot of folks thought it was just a way for Buck to get with Eddie, like, very soon after that. But the more time went by, the clearer it became that this was not the plan or the intention. So the mood soured for those who were still pulling for Buddie.

Other fandoms I've been in with a hugely dominant ship...Sherlock and X-Files are the two that spring immediately to mind...there was never a challenger with any legs. X-Files fandom wank was between the ship and the...lack of ship, shall we say. But a concrete, tangible "opponent" makes a fight so much more visceral, doesn't it?

I do think there's been a fandom shift towards needing ships to be canon that I don't really get, but it's there. There's been a lot written about fandom culture in the last ten years, the breakdown of boundaries between fans and creators, the access to those creators, a sense of ownership/entitlement, purity culture, obsession with shipping "correctly" (which leads into wanting things to be canon for the validation)...these are all newish features. So pile that on top of 9-1-1 having a longtime single ship that's legitimately threatened for the first time in its existence by a competing canon ship and it's kind of a powderkeg.

No wonder it's caught on fire.

[sirenlulls]

baby i'm yours → g. gallagher

pairing —gene gallagher x albarn!reader

summary —where gene’s a bit of a cheeky bastard & you post a new podcast episode

baby, i'm yours, and i'll be yours until two and two makes three

♡ liked by lennongallagher, damonalbarn, and 66,987 others

genegallagher bitz n bobz

user blud was def giggling to himself choosing the second pic

↳ user "they're gonna think im so cool for this"

↳ user "everyone's gonna be so jealous I'm sleeping with the it girl of the millenium" WELL I AM JEALOUS. IM SEETHING WITH JEALOUSY. IM GREEN WITH ENVY. THANK YOU MR GALLAGHER. I HOPE UR HAPPY.

user step up the game bro not enough y/n

↳ genegallagher I'll work on it

yourusername hihihihihihihihihi

yourusername hello

yourusername hey *in a really cool n suave n sexy voice*

↳ genegallagher Hello

↳ yourusername ur pretty cute icl 🤭

↳ genegallagher You're not too bad yourself xx

yourusername just scraped my knee falling for u

↳ genegallagher There's plasters in the bathroom press

↳ yourusername let me flirt with you ballache bastard

↳ genegallagher I've never felt so romanced 😍😍

yourusername guys don't be fooled, he had no idea how to use the camera!!! he's a caveman!!!!

↳ genegallagher Smh this defamation is heartbreaking.

↳ yourusername awe the baby :(

user mum and dad

user my pants drop every time i see them

↳ user ur so me

ruby1kid Such angels xx Must meet up again soon!! Love you both 😘😘❤️❤️💋💋

↳ genegallagher Love you too xx

↳ yourusername definitely!! missing our chats xx

♡ liked by lizzymcalpine, stellajones, and 86,799 others

yourusername look the lover to the beach (plus a hidden gem of moody chops junior + senior)

liamgallagher Who are you calling moody chops?

↳ yourusername no one special 😇

↳ user oh no the gallagher cheek is getting to her

genegallagher Don’t appreciate this.

↳ yourusername poor thing :(

genegallagher You look okay I guess…….

↳ yourusername sleep on the couch xoxo

genegallagher Think those shells are still in my coat pocket

↳ yourusername forgot you picked them up tbh 😭

↳ genegallagher Kinda had to since you kept going on about how pretty they were 😔🙄

↳ user only relationship ever

gracieabrams ilyilyilyilyily

gracieabrams hi wife

↳ yourusername hi loverrrrr

bobbyskeetz beach.

↳ yourusername beach!

↳ bobbyskeetz beach?

↳ genegallagher beach

↳ user gene is soooo sick of this shit lmao i eat it up all the time

user mother is mothering so hard y’all

user im in love w you

user i wont u so bad

user nepotism done right i’m on my knees fr

graciebrns AHHHHBHBABABABABHAAAA

↳ user grace is so me

graciebrns i love u sososo bad

↳ yourusername I LOVE YOU MORE PRETTYYYYY

♡ liked by lennongallagher, izzy_richmond, and 86,799 others

genegallagher Got dragged to the beach and got some of the best views

yourusername omg romance?? i didn’t know it did that 😱😱

↳ genegallagher Won’t happen again xx

yourusername iloveu

↳ genegallagher I love you too

yourusername you’re so sappy

↳ genegallagher If it’s such a problem I can stop

↳ yourusername NO ITS CUTE

user the last pic 🤭🤭🤭

user praying damon skips this post because he doesn’t deserve to be traumatised at the last slide

user “some of the best views” gene can u kys i deserve this life

user genes getting too bold im half expecting to see tits on the tl soon

↳ user don’t give him ideas

ruby1kid Stunning!!! ❤️❤️ Hope you’re having the best time, lovies!! 🥰🥰🥰

↳ yourusername we’re having a ball! can’t wait to see you next week xx

↳ ruby1kid I expect to see all the photos (even the bad ones) 🤣🤣🤣🤣

↳ yourusername oh especially the bad ones 😝

↳ genegallagher I don’t like this

genegallagher just updated their instagram story!

yourusername just updated their instagram story!

[xxlady-lunaxx]

KokuZan headcanons !

was gonna write a oneshot but nvm this is funner (these could be modern or regular AU, although some might be AU specific) also im writing this at night please bear with me (will probably post in the morning tho)

can we start with like — them giving casual touches of affection throughout the day

at first it was awkward when their relationship was still at its caterpillar stage but then a it bloomed into a butterfly they were giving quick pecks or holding hands absentmindedly, not even realizing it until someone pointed it out

always always cuddling

they sleep at the same time (or maybe Kokushibo’s reading and Muzan’s in his arms)

Muzan’s the little spoon you can’t change my mind. It’s not because he’s smaller, just that he’s always the one in higher power, always commanding and above (could be maybe boss or whatever if it’s not regular AU), but when it comes to their relationship, Muzan’s so achingly vulnerable, at Kokushibo’s mercy i swearrr

for modern AU’s, i can see them feeding each other when they have desserts idk it’s cute

a little “:0” and Koku guiding the spoon to Muzan’s mouth

also modern, Muzan picking out Kokushibo’s clothes

I can see Muzan being the more ‘fashionable’ one between the two, what with him always wearing suits and such

Kokushibo still wearing the same clothes he did centuries ago 💀

So Muzan’s going shopping for him, picking out clothes and making him try them on

Kokushibo doesn’t like shopping but he joins Muzan for window shopping sometimes

I feel like, if given the freedom, Muzan would be the type to have some sort of energy comparable to Mitsuri’s? But snarkier. Like a sassy child. Since he wasn’t really given a childhood, he’s going to be like this now as Koku makes him all comfy

Muzan making Kokushibo go to festivals and having them try EVERY ride

Can we have running hands through hair as a comfort. Kokushibo’s hair is long and sometimes Muzan misses his own long hair, but Koku has no problem running his fingers through the short dark locks

Alright, hear me out. Muzan is an expert at putting up hair. With all his fake families, you’d think he’d grow accustomed to putting up his ‘children’s’ hair, so he’s going to brush the fuck out of Kokushibo’s hair and then make little braids on the sides, tying it back into the pony tail, or braiding his hair into twin tails

Guys what if Kokushibo was the one to cut Muzan’s hair (I believe his hair was still long when he recruited Akaza and since he’s like ~200 years old and Koku’s 400+, Kokushibo could be the one parting Muzan’s hair, putting it up and cutting his hair with hands meant for battle yet wielded as gently as a mother tending to her child)

Muzan confessed you can’t say otherwise i wont listen

Kokushibo just expected rejection and said nothing (he was fine with it) but Muzan was so annoyed with this unknown thing he had to tell Koku

intimate relationships are a topic neither has truly delved before. be it platonic, familiar, or romantic relationships, they’re both new to it all and it’s so awkward and lovely at first 😭 <33

I feel like Kokushibo’s the type to cook meals tho

He’ll make Muzan breakfast in bed

give him princess treatment fr

they think they’re being subtle with their relationship at first

spoiler alert — they’re not !

raise your hand if kissing in public and holding hands and leaning over to whisper something to the other then blush powdering their faces is subtle (cue the crickets)

this is random but i feel like Koku’s such a bookworm and a nerd

he likes outerspace

they go stargazing sometimes

muzan’s more interested in plant life of course

specifically a certain blue lily

but ! maybe while searching for the flower, when he comes up unsuccessful once again, to feel better he collects a bundle of flowers and gives them to Kokushibo when he gets home <33

i can see him being good at flower arrangement tbh

off topic but in regular AU or other AU’s where they’re grandpas, they don’t realize there’s a term for BL

I can see maybe Kaigaku calling it yaoi

and then them not understanding and telling other people later like “yeah we’re dating we’re yaoi” HELP

they were corrected and Muzan said it’s stupid to be called gay like what yes we’re happy but are ‘straight’ couples not happy too ???

modern!muzan coming home with all sorts of plants and randomly cooking them mushrooms for dinner (after confirming it wasn’t poisonous)

kokushibo bought a mushroom (toadstool 🍄) hat and put it on Muzan when he was asleep

Muzan waking up and being directed to a mirror, staring bleary eyed at his reflection (cue reflection from mulan) and being all “why is my head so red… it has spots. DO I HAVE CHICKEN POX-“

he fully woke up and bonked Koku when he realized

anyway both of them DEFINITELY researched about gay relationships

or just relationships

they were desperate to get it ‘right’

the awkward big babies smh

i love them

anyway that’s enough im drawing blank

[nxghtstxne]

JJ Maybank as your boyfriend headcanons

Warnings: None

Pairings: JJ Maybank x reader

Words: 1158

*really loved doing these headcanons I definitely could have gone on for longer! lmk if you guys have any ideas?*

-Has an obsession with your hands, like almost always holding them or playing with your fingers whenever he's bored or anxious. All the pogues could be sitting around talking and laughing and he’ll be in his own little world, head bobbing to whatever music is playing, absentmindedly messing with your fingers.

-Lets you braid and style his hair when his head is on your lap or stomach, you'll do little tiny braids or buns all over his head and he’ll love the giggles it brings out of you.

-You guys always have each other's stuff in your bags, you will have his sunglasses or caps in your tote bag and he’ll have some of your lip balm or body spray in his backpack. 

-He will complain about it but he secretly loves finding your hair grips or hair ties around his room and the bathroom at the chateau, sometimes he’ll even have a hair tie around his wrist just in case you need it.

-You guys have a joined playlist on your phones, each other constantly adding songs you want the other to listen to or songs that remind you of each other, it never fails to make you smile whenever you realise he’s added a new song.

-The boy will always be finishing off any leftover food you leave, can’t finish your pasta? JJ will have it gone in seconds.

-Whenever you're lying down on his stomach just scrolling on instagram or tiktok, JJ will be looking with you, you won't even notice it until he's commenting about someone's post or whining that you scrolled away from a video too fast and he wasn't done reading. 

-Taking selfies on each other's phones when they get left unattended, you’ll both find them later on and most probably will end up being each other's lockscreens.

-Always knowing each other's favourite snack and drinks, picking them up at the store if you ever have the spare change. 

-You will constantly be sharing each other's vapes, whenever you use yours he will just hold out his hand without saying anything and you’ll know to hand it over. And when he uses his you will just tap his leg or arm and he will know you expect him to place it in your mouth for you to take a hit, you do the same whenever he rolls a joint. 

-Always reminding him about sunscreen when he’s out on the beach with the pogues, he doesn't burn at all really but he gets too excited to remember himself sometimes.

-Guides you with a hand on the small of your back.

-Or you'll hold onto one of his fingers whenever you're in a crowded place and he’s leading you through the crowd.

-Whenever he’s driving you places he is sure he knows exactly where he’s going and refuses to accept if he took a wrong turn, even when you have the location up on google maps and are directing him; his shortcuts never work out.

-Always has an eye on you at keggers or parties, never wants you to feel suffocated by his protectiveness but can’t bare the thought of you being in danger or uncomfortable without him there. So whenever you both go your own ways at these things, it rarely happens tbh, he’s always looking over at you or facing where you are, gotta keep his girl safe y'know?

-Sometimes you're not in the mood for surfing with everyone else so you and Sarah will sit on the sand or go for walks, you’ll always bring back a shell or rock or sea glass that you find, always telling him you found the most perfect one just for him.

-He keeps them in a special place in one of his drawers but you don't know that.

-JJ is a stomach sleeper through and through, can’t fall asleep if he’s not on his front, but yet he always manages to have his one free arm touching you somehow, either thrown over your stomach and holding your hip, loosely holding your hand from across the bed or gripping your thigh/leg when its pulled up over or near him.

-Refuses to wake up for anything, you’ll have to gently stroke his back or hair and kiss his cheek or shoulders to rouse him even a little bit- he does the same for you on the rare occasion he’s up before you. 

-Will 100% serenade you from across the room or beach at parties, mouthing the lyrics and pointing at you until you’re smiling and laughing at him. 

-He even ties your shoes for you whenever you're feeling slightly lazy.

-Sits next to you in the twinkie just so he can rest his head on your shoulder, even though he’ll need to shuffle down in his seat to reach.

-Will always give you sips of his drink and loves watching your reactions, sometimes you scrunch up your nose and shake your head and he’ll laugh and kiss your head. And sometimes you’ll hum and nod, taking another sip, a sign that he’ll have to get you one of these drinks when he goes to refill soon.

-Walks you home every single time without fail, or will pick you up or drop you off on his bike. Everytime. Very rarely are you ever walking anywhere alone or have to walk at all, but if you do then he’s texting you the whole way to make sure you’re good, or on a facetime or call with him until you get where you’re going. 

-Loves going to the store with you, he’ll hold your basket as you throw whatever you need in. If you’re not from the US then he absolutely adores watching you discover new things that you’ve never seen before, often taking photos of you holding said things with a shocked or surprised awe face and sending it to the group chat. 

-Definitely a hand on your thigh while he drives kinda guy.

-If you wear glasses he loves to see when you push them back up your nose, he doesn't know why he finds it so attractive but he just does. And he will definitely clean them off for you whenever you hand them to him to do, you could do it yourself but he's always wearing the best kind of shirts for it so-

-Watches you with the most curious and adoring look while you do whatever skin care or after shower routine you do, moisturising your legs, eye serum, face cream? He’s watching every step and is so focused he could probably do it step by step too.

-Y’know those tiktok’s about the taller guy that's following around his smaller gf, holding her bag or hand, no idea where he’s going but just happy he’s with her? That's JJ and you, 100%.

-Overall you and JJ are pretty much meant for each other, anyone that sees the two of you together can tell.

[gellavonhamster]

assigning each straw hat pirate a knight of the round table

because I am currently obsessed both with One Piece and Arthuriana; not any kind of serious AU material, just silliness; I Wrote This for Me but You Can Read If You Like

Luffy: Arthur, not due to any similarities in characterization but purely on the functional level - the boy king, the inspirational leader and, as Sun God Nika, a mythical figure believed to return when people need him the most

Zoro: Lancelot, the perfect warrior who embodies that post that's like "it's not my fault that my love language is acts of service and all I know how to do is kill". There is no Queen Guinevere here, so all the undying devotion is aimed at the king instead. Canonically has massive tits. Mihawk is thus implied to be the Lady of the Lake, and I think that's hilarious

Nami: hear me out: Kay. Sharp-tongued, rather cynical, but loyal to a fault to his king/adopted little brother. Nami as part of the Coward Trio vs. Kay being unlucky on quests and generally the butt of the joke. Isn't known to be a great warrior but occupies an important position (navigator vs. seneschal) that keeps the ship/court going. Besides, looking from the opposite direction, I just think Kay deserves to be the hot girl

Usopp: Usopp, sweetie, I'm so sorry, but I gotta say Tristan. Because Tristan is constantly lying about his identity in the most ridiculous manner possible and it somehow works. That part in Le Morte d'Arthur when he's asked what his name is and goes "Tramtrist" and no one suspects a thing even though "Tramtrist" is just "Tristram" with syllables switched around has big Sniper King energy. Also, can't forget the beautiful blonde healer girlfriend

Sanji: oh, that's the easiest one. Gawain. The Maidens' Knight, the ladies' man, a great warrior and one of the king's closest and most trusted men. If you put together Gawain's characterizations from different texts, from SGATGK to Le Morte to the Vulgate & Post-Vulgate to Chrétien de Troyes to everything, you end up with a contradictory character who is simultaneously the best and the worst guy you'll ever meet, which is how I often feel about Sanji, tbh. Would totally fight at a tournament on behalf of a little girl. Has some kind of an epic gay thing with Lancelot

Chopper: Yvain. Son of a sorceress - ah, pardon, a woman of science; associated with animals; known to be nice and kind (the Vulgate Cycle describes him as the one "whose heart will be filled with every kindness"). Occasionally goes insane in the woods (Monster Point), but, like, who doesn't

Robin: try as I might, I can't pull any direct parallels out of my ass, but I do think that narratively she can be seen as kind of a quasi-Mordred. Since her very childhood she was proclaimed to be bad news and expected to eventually cause a catastrophe, but where Mordred, whom no one tries to persuade the prophecy doesn't define him, ends up becoming exactly what he's expected to become, Robin has people who support her and trust her even after witnessing her be the bad guy in the past, so she never becomes the evil others expect her to turn into

Franky: Sagramore the Desirous (or the Unruly, depending on the text/translation) is a big, strong, good-natured knight who probably has low blood sugar needs to have a snack after fighting because otherwise he'll pass out, much like a certain cyborg needs his cola. In the Post-Vulgate, he and Mordred were raised together, which can be linked to Frobin's fates being intertwined since childhood, because I've Connected the Dots (you didn't connect shit)

Brook: I wanted to pick a character of the older generation who nevertheless isn't a mentor figure to Arthur, and I struggle to think of a better option than Pellinore - not the predatory piece of shit in the medieval texts, but the eccentric but loveable old man in Camelot (1967). Brook is also on a quest focused on an extraordinary beast! Only he's not hunting it, he's trying to get back to it because that beast is his friend 🥺

Jinbei: I honestly don't remember if he counts as the Knight of the Round Table, but I am hereby appointing him Ector - Arthur's adoptive father and one of the nicest parental figures in Arthuriana (and probably one of the nicest people in Arthuriana, period). I've also considered Galehaut for the "(partially) non-human ruler who allies himself with Arthur" angle, but that would imply Jinbei/Zoro and I'm not ready to deal with that.

[sun-stricken]

Headcannoms about friendship between Bickslow and Gray? I like to think after the fighting festival he really tries to make it up to Gray.

Gray: ‘we’re chill. It’s fine.’

Bickslow: ‘my babies will now perform a dance of apology’

Also a scenario I’d like to share!

Lucy: hey, Gray I picked up your mail. Why do you have a letter from a modelling agency?

Gray: oh that. I don’t know they just keep sending me them even though I’ve told them no.

Lucy: you’ve turned them down repeatedly?! *while crying inside*

Gray: yeah? It’s weird ‘cause I didn’t even apply.

Lucy: Lucy kick!

i for some reason hadn’t considered the idea of them having a close friendship, but i am now so here! a gift !

i had so much fun with this

* my personal hc is that Bickslows dolls feel a lot of what he himself feels, and also theyre kinda like birds

* so they too try to make it up to Gray, they bring him little things they find, such as shiny rocks, pins, and other tiny objects they find

* Bickslow just nods in approval from the sidelines when they bring them to Gray

* They were both fairly awkward with each other post festival but after Bickslow gave Gray an honest apology they began to turn over a new leaf

* people find the friendship strange tbh, Gray is known as this vaguely calm and like, super normal guy, and Bickslow is just— not

* theyre surprisingly comfortable with each other

* they dont hang out a lot outside the guild, but thats not to say they dont ever,

* While they dont work the best together and it took a while be able to fight along side on another,

* If the Thunder Legion and Team Natsu have to pair up usually they do bc they’re comfortable with each other and trust can go a long way

* theyre both texting fiends, like its a problem how much they message their friends, so when they found out the other was the same oh my god was it a train wreck

* their conversations can go for hours and if you read through them youd probably have an aneurysm because the topics make no sense and Bix doesn’t even try to spell correctly

* They have gotten close and friendly but that doesnt mean theu ever know what to expect from the other, their opinions and thoughts are so different from each other, if rhey ever have the same idea its like all the stars and planet’s have aligned and world is about to end

* Bickslows hair is naturally black and Gray helped him dye it once and they deadass looked they walk out the smurf set for weeks, Bix’s bathroom looked like they murdered a hundred of them

* Gray has an affinity for collecting hand weapons (swords, spears, bows, etc) while Bickslow likes taking apart and building old bombs (actual explosive grenades, land mines, smoke/flash grenades)

* they bonded over it and talked about it in public and terrified about 20 people rhat were in earshot

* theyre both a big hit with kids

* Bickslow gets added to the long list of people who barge into Gray house unannounced

* a lot of the time they will talk (coughcomplaincough) about two different things in the same convo

* Bickslow: the cops were at my door again last night because of the inactive grenade i threw in the fountain, woke me up and everything

* Gray: ugh, i hate that, Natsu blew up a building again and Erza yelled at the both of us

* Bickslow: thats so rude, do you think i should make another one and send it to them?

* Gray: totally, she knew it wasnt me but i still got scolded

so happy ppl have realized how pretty Gray is, now we’re gonna talk abt it bc im an overachiever

* Hes been scouted by plenty of different modeling agencies over the years, which really boosted his ego but very quickly became annoying as hell bc he never even applied

* He gets a couple a month, and he accepted once just to get them off his back and found it really embarrassing bc he was everywhere

* his friends in and outside the guild bought the magazines he was featured in and teased him mercilessly and he never stepped foot in another agency ever again

* Hes really photogenic but hates gets his photo taken, most of the pictures hes in ‘willingly’ hes glaring at the camera

* he now just blocks the numbers they call him on and throws out the letter they send him, if they stop him on the street he will walk away before the conversation even starts

* when Lucy found out something inside her died a little

* she pestered him about it and said she’ll go with him! he wont even have to take the money for it! she’ll take it! 😁

* she gets shot down every time but that doesnt mean she quit trying

[hoarah-babylon]

First DLC session completed!!!!! Gonna talk about my findings under the cut

Waiting for me at the cocoon was a familiar face from the trailers. Hi Leda!!!!!!! Got to have a closer look at her armour, her belt looks just like Miquella's ring.

The converging gold threads on the cape made me think of the Miquella's needle, and also the Godslayer Greatsword

She told me to go touch his wrinkly arm so I did. I was expecting a cutscene but no, just gave it a little tap and off we were! Which is also fine, I think I was just hoping for the interaction with the arm to reveal something about the nature of how we got to the shadow realm.

When I got there though..... man

I honestly wasn't expecting my own reaction when I got to the first open area, but I cried. Like actual tears. I just love this game and experiencing new things from it I don't know man it just took me by surprise, I've been having a hard time lately too so I think it was partly relief just to have something that makes me feel happy and inspired. Thankful for this game! Ok anyway

THE WICKER MAN ! I did try fighting him later on but he's so tough. I'm leaving him for later for sure, I have no idea what to do with him right now. His attacks are undodgeable and flatten me almost immediately, I'll figure that out later. He's cool tho. I think an item I found later called him a 'fire golem'

FOUND THE BESTIES ! They had a health bar so I could have tried to kill them but I didn't even try because they are my friends. Anyway they were in front of a Mausoleum with a boss in it which surprised me I was like ALREADY?????? I think it was called Blackgaol Knight. He took me a WHILE. I kept telling myself go away and come back later, but I was locked in, like no he's going to perish now. But I got him eventually and the reward was great. I mean I can't use any of it with this build but the item descriptions... they got me thinking

Warriors of what army/loyalty? What does it mean to lose your name, or your heart? This wording is very... intriguing to me. The only other mention of hearts in ER I remember off the top of my head (aside from dragon hearts) is the DLC trailer that said Miquella shrives clean the hearts of men. HM.

So they lose their hearts by choice, but what does it mean to lose your heart? Like, literally? Figuratively? Spiritually? But I found this next part to be the most intriguing. The 'light of birth'... WHAT. DO YOU MEAN. The concept of birth in TLB has always confused me tbh, so to have something directly reference birth caught my eye immediately. And why is it apparently so revered by these knights? I have to find out more. Mama lets research :) I don't remember where I heard/read this but I remember it being theorised births came from the Erdtree rather than the typical way humans are born usually. Could it be these knights revere birth as it used to happen, as opposed to how births came to be post-Golden Order creation? Hm.

I found one of the enemies that was posted before release! The one with the uterus imagery. This one. I was surprised it was a regular enemy, from the pic we saw it looked like a boss to me. It was just chilling on one of the monuments in the field of wheat. 'Invoke divinity' stands out to me, mainly because I can't figure out what it means. If it invokes divinity, what does it define as divine? It can't be anything to do with the Erdtree, because it clearly rejects it. Super interesting. The fact it also makes you weaker to Sleep is also v interesting

New weapon type (I think)! I got jumpscared by a screaming enemy and they dropped this. I'm ngl though I think he was a bit bugged, he wasn't dodging any spells so I beat him pretty easily. oops. I'm noticing a lot of bestial enemies and items though... I picked up a bestial ash of war later on too. Who are 'the horned warriors'?

Was looking out over a cliff-edge and saw this dead dragon... it honestly gagged me because I did not expect to see dragons. Which in hindsight is maybe a bit silly of me considering Messmer has what looks like Draconic eyes. But anyway

I found what looked like a church of Marika. It was called something like 'church of consolation'. On the lead-up there were several of Messmer's warriors resting in the road. They weren't aggro to me unless I attacked first. The bigger knight in the church dropped a huge hammer that was imbued with holy damage. One of the smaller knights dropped a chestpiece

The phrasing 'forced to wage war' is intriguing - where did these people come from? Exactly how and why were they forced?

I found this nearby the church and it gagged me a bit. First of all mad that this kind of item exists, I wonder how many there are. Secondly, Marika made these for Messmer... but never again????? I'm so intrigued by their relationship, I need to understand their dynamic IMMEDIATELY

Honestly thank god they're giving us more Larval Tears. I was stressing about this even though I probably won't end up using them... we'll see what weapons I pick up. I wonder if they replenish at these sites or if they'll still be a finite resource

Shit's fucked. These people were done dirty by Messmer

But consider: this place is gorgeous despite the horrors

Found the first of Miquella's crosses! And met another follower of Miquella... why does he hate me :( is it cus I'm Tarnished? But like. I don't like the Erdtree either dude. You don't know me!!!!!!!!!! Nice armour tho. And accent. And thanks for showing me where the crosses are. I guess. Map referred to him as a 'hornsent'

Like. Ok. Why don't we just be friends. Mysterious guy. Whatever like I care.

!!!!! I thought I took a pic of the description but whatever it said something along the lines of 'a young shoot heavy with Empyrean blood. Left behind by the wounded Miquella'... so he's wounded even in this shadow realm, whatever form he's in. What are you doing fam... what's the deal....... I gotta know

Met Freyja! She was nicer. I love her Spartan gear. She said she once fought alongside Radahn (!!!) and didn't tell me much else. But she seems chill af

Now this guy... I've gotta know his deal. Ansbach, what do you MEAN you were formerly in service to Mohg. And now you're following Miquella. WHAT IS THAT BROTHER. I just... the implications???? Why did you leave Mohg? When? Were you in on the whole abduction thing? Why does your helmet/beard combo kinda make you look like Cthulhu? I have questions.

Man-fly village. Uh........ yep don't like this.

That last line sticks out to me, because of the whole, you know, Miquella the Kind thing. Be kind and ya don't get turned into a fly. Cool cool I'm uncomfortable

Oh cool the thing on the wicker ma- THE FELL GOD OF FIRE???? Is this referring to the Giant's outer god? Or one we haven't heard of yet, one that Messmer is aligned with? Haunts the sagas of the hornsent... isn't that what the guy that was shit-talking me earlier is? What is his deal. I'm not immune to a mysterious man

Blue skies?? in MY shadow realm???? it's more likely than you think :)

I also found a ghostflame dragon too which was cool but he has SO much health. I simply did not have the patience for it at that moment. But it's cool seeing so many different things from different backgrounds and allegiances.

My fave thing about the followers so far is how everyone comes from such diverse backgrounds, it's in-keeping with Miquella's whole ethos of welcoming all. But... why are they all here? How? Why has Miquella 'called' to them? Has Miquella called to them all? Now I have all these strangers motivations to worry about as well as the blonde baby's. But really I'm so excited to find more. This already has my brain whirring and I haven't even stumbled across a major boss yet!!! fromsoft you've done it again!!!!!!

[emblemxeno]

"So tell me... How was it, being alive...?

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Replay Overall Thoughts!

I blazed through the last 3 chapters in about a week cuz I've been on a crazy high with this game lmaoooo, so here's a last post about my replay of this game and how much I like it overall. Spoilers ahead just in case!

-Gameplay! XC2 is a definitive example of having a high learning curve, but being so exceptionally rewarding.

While I'm less aggro over the game's tutorials than some are, I still agree that the game doesn't go into as much detail as needed to fully exlore the mechanics. A double edged sword of the game as a whole is just the amount of stuff that's involved in just its battle system. Arts, Specials, Blade arts, driver combos, blade combos, accessories, pouch items, affinity charts, etc. Being lax in just one of these things makes the game more of a chore to play than one would expect. But being aware of all of them makes the combat fast paced, strategic, and explosively fun.

But the gameplay isn't just fighting. It's also exploration and quests. XC2 features many gorgeous landscapes to behold and places to visit. Comparing to XC1 though... I like XC1's exploration mechanics, locations and secret ares just a tad more. However, XC2 has the worldbuilding trophy down pat. Certainly XC1 has its justifications for some areas not being populated or the backstory being lined with populous centered conflict, but it is that difference that makes XC2 more appealing in a "worldly" sense.

The politics of Alrest, its underlying message of idealism vs nihilism, building a future that defines and shapes future generations, even the nods to environmentalism and climate change. All of these are poignant and everlasting messages just as applicable today as they were when the game released. So IMO while Bionis and Mechonis are more fun to traverse, Alrest is more fun to experience.

Similarly, quests differ in this game compared to its prequel. XC1 had quests from the moon and back, at times to its detriment, especially the generic ones. However, it made up for that with a strong affinity chart made relevant by NPCs with memorable personalities and objectives. XC2, on the other hand, cut the chaff with the number of quests to be had, but along with that there was a noticeable dip in NPC quality. While I can't easily remember names of townsfolk in either game, XC1 still has the benefit of ties and links being foundational to its questlines that I can pick details and objectives from them out of my brain. XC2 sadly doesn't have that. A best of both worlds scenario exists in the next game, truly fitting tbh.

-Aesthetics, Presentation, and Music!

The game looks great, though definitely dated, most notably in animations and FPS performance. The worst of it happens in crowded city areas, especially Torigoth, which isn't a good sign for such an early locale. Overall, though, it turns out not to be too bad in the long run. You'd expect Mor Ardain and Tantal to have similar issues, but they really don't, at least as far as I know. For sure there's room to improve, but for a launch year Switch title? Very nice.

The ultimate dead horse of this game is its character designs and voice acting. For the latter point, it is pointedly rough especially for the middle chapters of the game, as you can hear the lack of direction from normally great actors. The last 3 chapters though is one stellar performance after another, and proves that talent along with even half decent direction goes a long way, and that it should be a lesson learned that a glaring issue like this not be repeated.

Character designs is touchy obviously. Pyra and Mythra sharing the lead role with Rex while having... let's say 'eclectic' outfits is very much a choice. I won't go into optics of such, as I'm not a woman and therefore don't have the wisdom or experience to comment on this point in a way that's very informed. What I will say is that it's nothing new for Xenoblade, or for the Xeno series as a whole. Is that a justification? No. But it's tried and true at this point.

I like their designs just fine (I also like Rex's for what it's worth). Now some rare Blade designs? Could've gone back to the drawing board. Dahlia is even more of a dead horse subject, but even Nim and ESPECIALLY Newt are ones that I just get the ick about. Talented artists for all Blades no doubt, but the designs themselves are just... yeah.

MUSIC oh god the MUSIC of this fucking game. Great orchestral tracks, electric guitar prominent rock, CHOIR LEAD PIECES, and the solo singer songs like Drifting Soul??? PEAK. Absolute peak. Every track hits where it needs to and then some.

-Characters and Story!

To repeat my earlier points, I adore the touches on the politicization of stuff like usage of mass weaponry, war resources, idealism/nihilism, religious dogma, climate change, and even identity optics. Every one of those points is supported by a stellar main cast, and a surprisingly solid supporting cast.

Rex starts as an idealistic child, with very staunch black and white beliefs. But being mentored by not just Vandham, but also Morag and Zeke, gives him perspective and growth to be the leader and hero Alrest needs.

He can say he's not involved in any war efforts by refusing to salvage weapons, but he realizes that war is more than just weapons. He can have a grand idea of going to Elysium, but how's he gonna do it in actuality. He may share Pyra and Mythra's physical pain, but how does he, as their partner, respond to their pain of being? Their emotions, the fear they carry, how they feel they're threats to the world and are better off erased?

Being an adult means respecting your loved ones decisions, being a hero means not going back on your promises or your fight to do what's right, being a leader means sometimes you have to work with compromises, being the Driver of the Aegis-no, the driver of ANY Blade, means accepting them as all they are, the good and the bad.

But all these lessons would be a bit meaningless if Rex wasn't so in tune with himself in the first place. Rex is more than just optimistic, he's full of love and hope! He's at his strongest when he remains true to that, and only falters when he lets his doubts get the best of him.

It helps that his friends give him something to learn, support, or aspire too, all while having their own developed characters besides that. Nia being of a similar age to him shows how even young people can be jaded by the world treating them horribly, but can just as easily propped back up when they no longer have to fear being themselves. Tora serves as someone who Rex can inspire and share a journey of growth as a Driver, and there's no better path of learning about your own strengths and weaknesses than being a teacher/leader yourself. Morag and Zeke show a positive example of what adulthood is towards the new generations; the former retains her love of her homeland and helps ground the party in reality while becoming more accepting of leaning on others to help without her pride getting in the way; the latter challenges tradition and stagnation, but instead of throwing the whole past away, he wants to confront it and find the most authentic and honorable way to move on.

The politics of Blades' relationships with humans as well... Gramps and Dromarch provide unflinching support to fall back on, being wise "older" members; Brighid and Pandoria deal with the idea of self, the former wanting to learn more about her past despite its apparent futility given the memory loss and the latter going through a then secretive (and possibly dangerous given what happened to Haze/Fan la Norne) procedure because she loved Zeke that much. And Poppi is such a smash hit character, being a composite of impressionable yet idealistic youth, the trials of finding your identity despite abnormality, and being fearful of your own capabilities should they come to harm people in the future.

Jumping off from that, both Pyra and Mythra are just so damn good. Besides their general personality difference, Pyra is surprisingly forceful (chapter 6 climax) and Mythra surprisingly sentimental/sweet (chapter 5 end). They treat each other as sisters because Mythra is just that kind of person, she's not snappy or controlling, she lets Pyra be herself. Both are afraid of their power, hence they want themselves erased from the world; but bonding with someone who was never scared of them or what they could do-something Addam admitted that he was unable to-changed their outlook: they love this world. No longer the pitying "this place would be better without us" type of love, but the "I want to remain and work to sustain this beauty and kindness" type of love.

In contrast, Amalthus is what happens when you let the world's ugly parts dictate your entire outlook-he hates himself just like Pyra and Mythra did, like how Jin and Malos do. Rejecting change by using religious dogma and enforcing control over the world through the core crystal cleansing. Killing Torna's legacy, and blackmailing Tantal. When you hate the world, hate yourself, and have the power to end it, be it through swift destruction or 500 year long stagnating rot, you'll do so.

That outlook is poisonous and is easily spread-look at any far right campaign today and see how they use similar fear mongering, rejection of change, and discriminatory exclusivity! That's unfortunately how a lot of people operate, and that's how people get broken by the systems that harm them and either led to violence (Jin) or wanting to escape by any means possible (Pyra/Mythra). That's why the hero being Rex, an upstanding youth wanting to change the world through optimism, love, and acceptance, means so much as a message. It's incomprehensible to those who don't want to listen (or who benefit by rejecting it) but is given support by victims looking for an answer.

That's the difference between existing and being alive, and ultimately that's what broke me during the final scenes of the game. Malos never existed as more than a machine, basically corrupted by a virus that was Amalthus' misanthropy, but Pyra and Mythra got to live. To witness cultures, meet and talk with people, fall in love with them, have laughs and shed tears. And when that light was reciprocated, they learned they didn't want to die for Alrest's sake, they wanted to live for it.

"So tell me... How was it, being alive...?" is terribly tragic and incredibly heartfelt, because, as Morag says "Most people go their whole lives without finding a meaning to it." I still don't even know if I have mine, or if I'll even find it, and when Malos said his final line that's when the tears started running. A being who sees himself as a monster, who never got to be anything but a destructive burden on people, but who went out with a smile when he realized that had he been awakened by people like Rex or Jin before Amalthus came into the picture, he could've had a life full of love like his sisters got. A life that we all can get. A life that we aspire to and deserve.

How this game manages to capture the emotion of the human mind, is endlessly impressive. A splendid journey from beginning to the end, in spite of some rough spots here and there.

I'm probably gonna take a break from Xenoblade for a little bit and jump back into FE in the meantime. Thanks to all who kept up with my XC2 shenanigans lol.

[txttletale]

bundletober #4: lit rpg set

now that's one lit rpg set. am i right. roll to smoke weed. nah the lit in this title is obviously short for 'literary', sorry to disappoint. today's entry for bundletober, (the cool rpg gimmick where rpgs fans post about an rpg they got off an itch bundle a couple years ago and never got around to reading and that everyone does and is like inktober and basically everyone, is doing it, and i didnt arbitrarily make it up at 11 pm on october the 1st this year), is xander hinners' lit rpg set.

okay so this is a very short (two pages!) game. or--as the name of the game implies--set of games! that's right, these two pages are actually four double-sided bookmarks, each containing a game to be played with the text (and sometimes physical paper) of the book you're marking. now i'm often kind of skeptical of ultra-short rpgs but i'm an absolute sucker for this elegant combination of subject matter and form. the bookmark format is not just an arbitrary formal constraint¹ but intimiately bound up² in the subject matter and play pattern of the games within. incredible stuff!

what i love about the games in lit rpg set is that they go all in in being games about books. you play them with books -- picking or redacting or interpreting words from the text are all made into key game mecahnics -- but they all also represent feelings you have about books. subtext treats reading a book as an adventure in a literal, rpg sense--shred treats the anger and frustration of reading a shitty book as a real actual psychic battle against the author.

what i really like about the four games in lit rpg set is that they do the best thing an rpg can do, which is make you think and ask interesting questions--they make you approach books as objects capable of something other than just being read, make you interrogate and interact with the book as a physical object, as a collection of words--or invite you to read actively, to take the passive setting of expectations and make a game of it. it invites you to create new and interesting relationships with books you love and/or hate, and i think that's really valuable. i'm honestly tempted towards an act of guerilla game promotion here--how cool would it be to just print these bookmarks out and leave them in random books in a bookstore? a book that comes with an invitation to play with it? i think it'd be magical tbh

lit rpg set and its free plaintext demo can be purchased as a digital download from itch.io

¹ which can be super fun and lead to really cool things, to be clear! but can just as easily end up being aimless and unfocused

² heh

[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - how the nsb boys would give you the princess treatment

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛༶•┈┈⛧┈♛༶•┈┈⛧┈♛༶•┈┈⛧┈♛༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

pov: the title says it all!

warnings: princess treatment i think? super fluff and cute! i think that's all? let me know if there's more!

type: fluff and wholesome!!

members: all of them!

each member have five of them!

reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated! :D

OLIVER

i feel like oliver would let you nap in his arms!

he's so cute :(

if see you being sleepy? this man put his arms around your shoulders and put your head on his shoulders while playing with your hair

he would also carry you with his arms when you're hurt

your shoulder hurt? he'll carry you

your feet are sore? he'll carry you

this man won't let you walk if you're in pain

and even if you weren't, he love carrying you around

he feel like a prince

next thing i think oliver moy would do, would be him buying thing you wanted or needed but never bought

you said you wanted to have the latest kpop album? he'll buy it for you if it can make you happy

need new pens? BYE HE'S ON HIS WAY TO YOUR FAVORITE PAPETERY STORE

he only want your happiness

you said you loved the dress in that clothes shop? he'll buy it for you

AND WILL MAKE A DATE JUST SO YOU CAN WEAR THE DRESS

isn't he the sweetest??

oli is just super caring and cute, you can't tell me otherwise

ofc, he would listen to you when you're angry, sad, upset..

we all know how oli is with the boys and the media team

he's super respectful and wouldn't mind if he had to sit for like 3 hours straight on your bed and listen to you venting

he would love that actually

communications is key and knowing you can be vulnerable and showing your true emotions and your true self in front of him, make him super happy and proud

finally, we all know how i can't stop saying that oliver is a respectful guy and a super caring boy

because it's true!

so i think he'll always make sure you're happy and comfortable

he know emotions can be up and down and all, but he loves seeing you happy and would always try his best to at least cheer you up and try to make you laugh or smile on a bad day

(rest of the members under the cut!)

SEBASTIAN

first, i think seb would call you with a sweet nickname

like a nickname he don't really use often

we know how seb don't really use nicknames or petnames in a relationship other than babe or baby, so i think he'll find one petname that's really original

seb would also compliment you as much as he can

and he would make you blush and smile with that because this man is so flirty 🙄 istg

we all know how flirty seb is (i already said it lol)

so please..

expect seb to flirt with you and compliment you a lot

like a lot

seb would take you out on dates randomly

it could be on your job, on your work, on your outfit, what you have done today.. everything!

he wouldn't say "join me at this place at this hour"

no

i think it's a very sebastian moy thing to do

he would just say "be ready, imma pick you up in 1h. wear smth chic like black so we can match"

and he would pick you up with his motorcycle 🏍

seb would also sing you to sleep

and ofc he would love the feeling of you holding super tight on him and your arms all wrapped around his belly

"you're so cute what the hell??" with his soft smile

can't sleep? he'll sing you a soft melody, so it can make you sleepy

no because his voice is relaxing 😭

finally, seb would post you on his social medias

like in their song "COLD WAR" (it's a masterpiece wow) he sing and bye, it's so "satisfaying" idk how to describe it, but yeah

it's your birthday? he'll show you off and wish you a happy birthday on his sc and ig story

he wouldn't mind having a page with tiktoks with you tbh 😭

want to do a tiktok with him? he'll do one and he'll be super happy

and he'll even learn new trends so you can try it together

he love showing you off and that's a fact 😂

JUSTIN

justin would fix your hair and outfit

he's like the fashionista of the group for me

why his outfit always so good-looking

i mean all the boys' outfit are really good-looking, but justin?? damn

he could wear a white tshirt and blue jeans and he would find a way to style it and make it cool

so ofc he would help you with that

he would also make you spotify playlist for every occasion

he would also fix/do your hair (straight them, curl them, brush them...)

and even dye them if that's something you would love to do!

feeling stressed? he have one for you

feeling angry because your parents shouted at you? he have one

for every occasion, justin have one

when he's bored and have time, he create music playlist so if one day you're feeling like that, he'll be able to send it to you!

people who do that >>> i love you omg-

he would put post-it all over your room with sweets messages on it

the messages would be like "hey, you looked cute today"

or like "don't forget to stay hydrathed today!"

or even "you did your best today and i'm so proud of you for that"

justin would also keep all the promises he make

just simple but yet so cute messages to make you smile during the day :)

if he told you that one day he'll bring you out on a stargazing date, he'll do it

like this man won't broke any of his promises

he truly believe in pinky promises (he love doing some with you!!)

so ofc if he had to break it, it would not only break his heart but also make him sad

because jp don't promise something that he know he won't be able to do in the future

the last thing justin would do for this hc would be picking you up when you're tired of walking

so thats why he doesn't really say "i promise you" randomly

unlike oli, he wouldn't pick you off and do piggyback rides or something like that

he'll pick up with his car and would literally be so happy to say "sorry boys, i need to pick up my girl! she's a bit drunk"

bye you weren't even drunk, he just wanted to say that 💀

but anyways, he love picking you up

even if you have your own car and all, he love giving you rides!

RYAN

as we know, ryan love going to the arcade

so i think he would win you plushies

or like anything you loves if you're not into that stuff haha

he love playing with you and saying "this one's for you, y/n"

ryan also love reminding you how he's happy to have you in his life

and he doesn't miss 🤧 wow

so i guess it'll be the same for you

we all know how ryan talk with his best friends

he's not the first guy in the group who'll go "hey man i missed you"

no

ryan doesn't say things like that without meaning them

he won't tell you a lot that he appreciates you

only times to times

but know he does appreciate you!!

i think ryan would hold your hand in public

anyways-

this man is so so not pda-

like pda only at home!!!

but if he see that is smth that can make you happy and that can make you less stressed and less anxious, he'll do it

because he want you to be happy

and comfortable

another thing nguyen would do to give you the princess treatment would be giving his hoodie to you

and not stressed

sure it's not super woah, but if we know how ryan is, we can clearly tell how precious and how important his clothes are to him

he rarely give others people his clothes (except for the members because they all live in the same house) so if ryan ever give you his hoodie, his cardigan, his vest or like anything related to clothes (except underwear ofc, because no ❤), then you are super lucky, bc except for the boys, he'll never ever ever give his clothes like that

finally, he'll open the door for you

he's a shy (and cute) gentleman, let's say it

simple but yet cute and nice!

KANE

kane would give you massages when you're in pain

HE'S THE MASSAGE BOY IN THE GROUP OKAY?

he love massaging the members

and like all the members love his massage since he's super good and know the perfects techniques

so ofc if your back is sore or like if you have pain on your back, tell kane

he'll also make you know that you're the only one for him

he'll do one for you and it'll make him super happy!

plus, he's super romantic

he'll do like such a cute ambiance

with like candles, soft light, oil, relaxing music..

HIS ROOM IS NOW HIS MASSAGE CABINET, OKAY?

he'll be like "y/n, i love you" or like "you're so pretty"

but istg when this man'll say "you're like the ideal type for me"

BYE CHCEHIIVEHJDS HE WANT US TO DIE OR WHAT??

nah but for real, i think he'll do that

idk how to explain it, help 😍 hope you guys can understand

like ty (aka the manager and his brother), he's searching for a strong and long-time relationship

he believes in soulmates

so if he tell you something like "you're kinda the one for me.." know that he cares a lot about you

and that he see you in his future

kane would leave goodnight texts/ morning texts so when you wake up, you'll think about him

when you say, "i'm going to sleep" he'll wait for like two hours so he know you're not on your phone or at least not checking your messages

like this man would wait just so you can have a surprise tomorrow 😭

his goodmorning and goodnight texts would be so cute

"hey i know you're sleeping rn, but i just wanted to say that you were so cute today and that i love you very much. may your night be blessed with sweets dreams and a nice healing comfort. sweet dreams my lover, we'll talk more tomorrow"

"good morning my pretty y/n. i hope you slept well and you didn't do nightmares, if so, you can tell me and i'll listen to you :) i wish you an amazing and fantastic day. i love you, and i can't wait to talk to you more today. much love baby <3"

kane would also bring you flowers

spoilers: sometimes he'll buy some just because he want to

had a bad day? flowers.

had a great day? flowers.

lastly, kane would support you in everything you do

it's a friday and it's 6:56pm? he will give you flowers

like this man love giving you flowers or like giving you things that'll make you think of him

he doesn't care if it's like 7:23am or 21:04pm

he'll still go buy you some just because he loves it

he'll support you in your projects, your experiences, your life.. literally everything he can support, he'll be here for you

he's already doing that with the boys so it wouldn't be a surprise for me if he did that to you <3

our sweet caring boy :(

DARREN

darren would give you snacks or make you drink if your hands are occupied

he'll also buy your skincare products if you're running out of them

working on a essay and you're hungry? this man will feed you

you're cooking and want to drink something but can't because of the dough? he'll make you drink water with a straw (or smth like that)

he's such a good boyfie :/

this man think about everything

he love doing skincare with you

anyways-

darren takes a lot of care of his body, his face, his skin.. he know which products are good or nah

and it also involves foods!

he'll buy you the stuff, even if it's not skincare!

like if you're running out of mascara, he'll buy you some

running out of your favorite food? he'll buy you some more just because he know you like it

darren would cook to you

that's it, that's all

he doesn't even want you close to the kitchen 🙄😭

he LOVES cooking and he loves it even more when it's for you <3

he would cook for you on special occasion

but also on not special occasion

he love seeing you eat what he made for you

his cooking skills >>

he would also kiss you in the rain

idk why but he gives me this vibe?

imagine: he put his arms around your waist and kiss you slowly while the rain is falling miserably on you two

lastly, darren would stand by you every single time

like omg it'll be so adorable

on a fight? this man's on your side

nah but for real

he doesn't really know what's going on, but..

he's on your side

let's be honest

he really cares about you

even if he doesn't show it a lot like some others members do, he would stay by you during the good and bad times

always here for you :(

REGIE

this man would tell you how much he loves you in public

he doesn't really say it often

he's more like a "secretive person" when it comes to the confession if i can say it like that

he wouldn't mind saying the l-world in public, but he usually prefer when it's only between you two

also, talking about public..

but he wouldn't mind saying it if it would make you happy!

and plus..

he kinda love saying it 😭 mostly when there's a lot of people in th same place

he'll say "baby!! check these out!" a little bit more louder just so people can know you two are together

he love showing you off, what can i say?

he wouldn't refuse to do pda in public

sure, he would rather keep these things like the ily's and all the pda between you two

but as again, he's happy to do that

he'll treat you like he's a gentleman

he want to show you off

idk why i said "like" bc regie IS a gentleman 😭

regie would also put his hand around your waist and talk to you in your ear

he would open the door, be super respectful.. takes care of his responsabilities.. everything that a gentleman do lol

idk if this one is princess treatment, but..

he'll do that

he'll speak in your ear so you can only hear him

if you're feeling anxious, stressed, overwhelmed.. he'll do that

finally, he would buy what you need when you're on your period

at least, hear him better than the others sounds around you

most of the time, it'll be random stuff lol

like sometimes he could say "come here.." or "i love you..!"

but otherwise, it'll be stuff like:

"this guy was so weird, wtf!"

or like "dang, you have a nice a$$"

he don't really mind if he have to do four shops to find what you need

periods, for him, are normal

it's like.. only blood?

so like, he would buy you whatever you need

everybody have blood

he wouldn't be anxious or stressed

just like okay, but where do i find these???

the only time where he'll be a bit anxious would be when he have to choose between ultra soft or super comfortable and he doesn't know which one are the best for you since not everyone have the same preferences when it comes to period's supplies!

taglist (open! send an ask if you want to be in it): @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0

hope you guys liked it!!

[bloody-wonder]

mid-year book tag

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2024? i have read so many good ones this year but no particular one stands out to me as The Best so i'll name top 5 instead (in the order i read them in): a thousand stitches, doctrine of labyrinths, in other lands, big swiss, my brilliant friend - so, quite a range of genres and tones, as usual :)

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2024? the virtu is definitely my favorite part of doctrine of labyrinths and the tropic of serpents, the second book in the memoirs of lady trent, was just a perfect historical fantasy adventure novel - it's like if jane austen wrote indiana jones except it's also a nature documentary about dragons. last but not least, empire of the damned which came out in march solidified jay kristoff's empire of the vampire as my favorite vampire book series. you might have heard me screaming about it from the rooftops. all three of these sequels, i find, are even better than the previous book in their respective series.

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? i'm saving kj charles' death in the spires for the fall since it's a spooky campus murder mystery (i think?) and i also want to read apostles of mercy and so finish lindsay ellis' sci fi series (which i have lost interest in somewhat tbh but i'm nothing if not a completionist lol). i was curious about the familiar but the reviews i've seen don't look too promising so i'm probably not going to prioritize it.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2024? i'm looking forward to kj charles' new romance book, the duke at hazard, as well as the new evander mills mystery, rough pages, but the piece of fiction i'm anticipating the most is actually the radioapple southern gothic au by my favorite fanfic author reminiscentbells. she's going to write the whole thing this summer and start posting in september - i'm so excitedddd😱

5. Biggest Disappointment? emily wilde's encyclopaedia of faeries is the book equivalent of a ghoul wearing the skin of your beloved. i wasn't a fan of a deadly education either😒 was very excited to read gaywyck but the expectations of "jane eyre but gay" which the cover of that book gave me were unfortunately not met🤷‍♀️

6. Biggest Surprise? i didn't think i might be into extreme horror and neither did i fancy myself a sally rooney girlie so i was quite surprised that i liked her conversations with friends as well as the sluts by dennis cooper. will definitely read more from both authors next year. an even bigger surprise however was solitaire which i picked up on a whim after tori came out as ace in the last heartstopper volume. i have a complicated relationship with alice oseman's books mostly due to the fact that i'm years past the target demographic age but still feel compelled to read them bc it seems they're the only mainstream books with prominent aro/ace rep out there. so i didn't expect much and was astonished to discover that tori spring is like looking at a mirror reflection of my 18yo self - uncanny in a fun way. ig i shouldn't be so surprised this turned out to be my favorite oseman book since it's the one with the most mixed reviews lol people like to hate a depressed teenage girl😬

7. Favorite New Author? i have devoured doctrine of labyrinths and the cemeteries of amalo in february so now i can safely say sarah monette aka katherine addison is one of my favorite authors. each of her series has a different tone but there are consistent themes of real or magical disability and non amatonormative relationships which are explored in creative ways throughout her stories. i also like her worldbuilding quite a bit, especially the naming systems and fantasy terminology. i read more books by celeste ng as well as by vale aida - both are likely to become favorite authors too. in the latter's case - provided she writes a sequel to hostis. if not, i shall never forgive her😅

8. Newest Favorite Character? okay this is just impossible to narrow down! first of all, liathe from empire of the damned bc i want her Gender: wearing a porcelain mask and a splendid crimson coat, formally bowing to her adversaries before she beats the shit out of them with her blood sword, referring to herself by the royal we and hissing every time she speaks - character of all time material right there. behold my beautiful girl who has done nothing wrong!🥰

(official illustrations by bon orthwick)

secondly, elliot schafer bc he's the most obnoxious prickly boy in other lands and yet everyone wants him carnally lol. i adore his internal monologue - probably the best i've read in ya. his dialogue too tbh - his cutting repartee game is off the charts. honestly, he's just my favorite type of character: a mean bisexual gremlin who scolds people so creatively that they fall in love with him on the spot. what more can you ask.

finally, i have to mention that to my great surprise i liked mildmay more than felix harrowgate🤯 idk felix is this cunty traumatized savant which is a character archetype i'm used to liking so it was a safe bet. the opposites attract sidekick or love interest of such a character is usually not my cup of tea but mildmay is the exception that proves the rule ig. mostly it's bc of his unusual manner of speaking with those funny slang turns of phrase and just generally the contrast between his expressive internal monologue and his reserved demeanor. as a result, he easily rivals felix as the most interesting guy in the book. such excellent character work! taking my hat off to monette🎩

9. Newest Fictional Crush? i reserve this question for that special kind of obsession only a very particular character can inspire and this year it's alastor from hazbin hotel. which, i know, is not a book but i have read so much alastor fanfic in the last few months that he's basically like a book character to me at this point lol

💕Best Ship💕 elliot schafer and luke sunborn are very cute. i don't usually go for cute but here we are. especially after reading that short story from luke's pov i realized i just need more of these two together😌 felix and mildmay with their unholy magic bdsm union - need i say more? forbidden ship that watered my crops. last but not least, i'm currently trudging through the realm of the elderings bc of fitz and the fool and as of assassin's quest it finally started paying off: i'm being queerbaited and asking for more🥲

10. Book That Made You Cry? a thousand stitches is such a wholesome cozy book and it made me cry multiple times the way that a nostalgic movie from childhood can make you cry sometimes. especially the pug scene😭 the scenes of thara celehar walking the corn maze in the cemeteries of amalo made me cry a lot too. the symbolic depths addison is able to achieve with the labyrinth motif, the exploration of grief and forgiveness and letting go - unparalleled🤌

11. Book That Made You Happy? a thousand stitches made me happy! especially the pug scene!!😅 honestly it was like watching a disney movie back when they were good except also more relatable bc atwater's characters read neurodivergent and aspec-coded to me. love how she maintains that the kiss of true love that breaks the faerie curse doesn't have to be romantic. re-reading the three musketeers made me very happy too - it's one of my top 10 favorite books of all time and i was kinda nervous i might not like it as much as an adult. well the joke's on me bc now i can confirm it's one of the best books ever written😊 reading in other lands and big swiss cheered me up a lot too bc they're just so damn funney😄

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? haven't seen a lot of adaptations so ig dune part two wins by default. twas a fine movie. the wheel of time is also a nice show in my opinion but i didn't read the source material so idk how good it is adaptation-wise🤷‍♀️

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year? my favorite ones are probably the ones i wrote about the three musketeers and in other lands but i think i also wrote some good critical/negative reviews of the mask of mirrors and of the vorkosigan books i read this year (1 2 3)

14. Most Beautiful Cover? behold the cover of the voyage of the basilisk!🤩 i want to frame it and hang it on my wall so that i can gaze at it adoringly and connect with my inner ishmael

(art by todd lockwood)

i also like this vintage romance cover of gaywyck and the uk covers of the farseer trilogy. it's a shame that the books are not as good as the covers led me to believe. especially in the case of gaywyck - this cover is Such A Vibe! but alas

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? in terms of series i want to finish the memoirs of lady trent, read one more witcher book, at least a couple vampire chronicles and then reread swordspoint and hopefully complete that series too. other fantasy i want to get to at last is fire & blood and the hands of the emperor - both are big and intimidating tho. for my classics challenge i need to finish a couple of tomes i'm reading slowly throughout the year and then also read the name of the rose. american psycho and mona awad's bunny have been on my tbr for ages - maybe i'll finally read them this fall. and i also want to finish reading kj charles' backlist bc the completionism drive is stronger than the fear of having no kj charles to read lol

i never do things a normal amount - every time i take up new media i go all in. so i had a musicals phase, a movies phase, a tv show phase - each lasting a few years and then i barely watched any of these once the phase ended. which is why i've been wondering if my current Book Phase is about to wrap up soon but, given how many books i managed to read since january, it sure doesn't seem that way. instead, it feels like the more i read the better i am at finding books that i'm likely to enjoy - which leads to more reading. and i cannot complain about that tbh😁📚

tagging @magpiefngrl @doh-rae-me @oliviermiraarmstrongs @fugitoidkry @pinkasrenzo @counterwiddershins @figuringthengsout @sugarbabywenkexing @fandomreferencepending @venndaai @weirdsociology @sixappleseeds @theodoradove

please tell me what you've been reading this year (if you want)! one can't have too many book recs👀

goodreads │ old mid year tags 2020 2021 2022 2023

[springseasonie]

Complicated | NJM (M)

Best friend's boyfriend x fem reader

Summary: you love your best friend. you've known each other for practically your whole lives. she knew practically everything about except for one thing: your relationship with her boyfriend Jaemin. all you wanted was to be like her, but now you've taken it too far and are suffering for it.

Warnings: sexual content, kitchen sex (scandalous), vanilla sex, oral (fem receiving), mentions of arguing/yelling, lots and lots of cheating/infidelity, lots of angst grrr, Jaemin is kinda mean tbh :/, may contain errors even though I proof read :p

Word count: 3,4k

Song recs: tread carefully by sza, open the door by lolo zouaï

A/N: heyyy. this is my first official onsehot that I'm posting 😭 kinda nervous to post it ngl. I wanted to post something before my birthday at least and I wrote so many other things but they didn't really stick. I like this this one enough to post it, so I hope you all like it too. Please let me know if I'm missing any warnings. Feed back is always appreciated 🩷🩷 also just know that Maya is just a character and not at all related to Maya from XG PLEASEEEE 😭

You felt so guilty, you really did. You hated yourself everyday for giving into your selfish desires, sinful needs, intrusive thoughts. Your best friend was important to you, the most important person to you in the world, but you couldn't help it. You wanted him, you needed him, and unfortunately he gave himself up to you.

It all started on a camping trip you and your friend group went on last summer. Maya wouldn't leave his side the entire time and it pisses you off. You didn't know why it pissed you off, but something about the way she stuck to him like glue was annoying.

"Jaemin, where are you going," she whined, making a childish pouting face.

"I'll be back. I'm just going to get more beer," he replied.

"I'll come too." You stood up following behind him back into the cabin.

Jaemin loved Maya, he really did, but he couldn't help finding himself becoming more and more irritated by her as the trip went on. Her constant nagging, need to be near him, treating him like he was her personal assistant. He had enough of it but couldn't tell her, in fear it would fuck up the vibe of the group.

Jaemin opened the door, allowing you to walk in before him. "Are you getting more beer," he asked.

You were taken by surprise, expecting for the both of you to walk to the kitchen in silence. "Oh no, I just wanted to get away from the outdoors. I don't like bugs and they get rowdy at night, you know?"

Jaemin chuckled softly at your statement, opening the fridge. You smiled as you watched him. Maya didn't really get him like you did now that you thought about it. Jaemin always laughed at your jokes. There wasn't one moment where the both of you felt uncomfortable around each other. You didn't know if it was because of his friendly nature or his good looks. Maybe it was because he reminded you of the dad you never had. You always felt envious seeing him beside Maya, protecting her, holding her, even when he didn't want to.

You've always envied her since a young age. She was perfect, probably everything you wanted to be. Perfect body, likable personality, amazing fashion. You never really understood why she was friends with you, the both of you being so different from each other. Maya never had trouble when it came to dating, but when you met her new boyfriend, you couldn't help but lothe how perfect their relationship looked and how much you wanted it too.

"Well if you aren't bringing anything, do you mind taking some of these for me," he asked.

"Yeah, sure I don't mind." Jaemin placed a couple of beers in your arms. You began to walk, but tripped on your own feet in the process. You felt your feet struggling to gain balance as you tried to pick yourself up, holding the bottles at the same time.

"Woah, woah. I got you." Jaemin wrapped his arms around you, balancing you. Your back was against his chest, and you could've sworn you felt his heart jump out his chest for a second. "You okay?" Jaemins face was leaning down from behind you. His closeness startled you, but didn't scare you enough to move away.

"Yeah! I'm fine just a bit-" you turned your head slightly, lips almost touching his. Jaemin swore time stopped at that moment. He hadn't felt this way with Maya in a while, but something about you was different. He was intrigued, but he knew he couldn't go further. The both of you knew you couldn't go further.

But at that moment, he didn't care. He didn't care that he was leaning into you, lips brushing over yours, sending tingles through your spine.

"Jaemin stop. You're dating my best friend," you say, trying to reason with him. You want your words to be convincing so badly, but the way they come out in a small whisper makes Jaemin feel insane.

Before Jaemin could even speak, he heard the door open with a loud call for his name. The both of you separated at the speed of light, you clinging onto the bottles and him pretending to look in the fridge for something.

"Jaemin," Maya called in a sing-song voice,"where are you two?"

"In the kitchen," he called back.

Maya waltzed in the kitchen, immediately gravitating to Jaemin. You stood there and watched as she hooked her arms with his. She looks so in love. This was the first time you felt the guilt hit you like a truck. Seeing her so happy, and realizing how you almost ruined it a second before she came into the room was your wake up call, and you were sure you wouldn't fall asleep again.

But it's never that simple is it?

You and Jaemin kissed later that night cleaning up the outside of the cabin. It was the most romantic thing that ever happened to you in your life. Under the moon and stars, in front of a campfire, his hand holding yours. You couldn't get it out of your head. The next morning when you saw Maya, you wanted to run and hide. You wanted to tell her right away, but something in you couldn't pull it out. You couldn't break her heart and neither could Jaemin, so the both of you decided to keep it a secret and never let that happen again.

"Jaemin, please. I need you so bad."

Jaemin kissed your neck feverishly as he sits you on your kitchen counter. His hands grasped your hips tight as his tongue ran down the sides of your neck. Jaemin moved his hands from your hips to your thighs, opening your legs wider. His hands make quick work of your shirt and shorts, throwing them somewhere in your kitchen.

You quickly unncliped your bra, shaking it off your shoulders and arms. Jaemin steps back watching you with hungry eyes as he pulls his shirt over his head, taking it off swiftly.

The guilt came in waves sometimes. It was there, then it wasn't. On some days, it was like a tsunami, flooding and pouring all over your mind. The heartbreak you couldn't escape not just for your best friend, but for yourself. You try to convince yourself that it wasn't all your fault, but instead all Maya and Jaemin, no matter how much they meant to each other, they were not good for each other. There were so many times where she called you crying or where you heard him yelling and shouting at her despite how perfect they looked on the outside. Maya was never as sensitive and soft as she looked though. She had a mean streak everyone around her knew about. Always taunting him and bringing up his parents when she knew him and his mother had a bad relationship. They were truly awful for each other, but at least they had each other.

Jaemin immediately attached his lips to yours, hands gripping your legs hard enough to leave marks. He bit your lip, tugging at it softly. When Jaemin pulls away, his eyes are foggy, almost like he'd been crying. He looks so pretty to you, it doesn't matter what he does. Jaemin dropped to his knees, pulling your legs apart even further. He makes quick work of your underwear, tugging them down roughly and throwing them somewhere obscure. Your hands tangle in his brown hair, watching him kiss up your thighs.

"Don't take your eyes off me," he mumbled against your skin.

And with that, his face completely disappeared between your legs. All you could feel was his lips and tongue working at you like he was made for you. You wanted to feel guilty right now. You wanted to hate yourself and him, but how could you, especially when he made you feel this good.

Jaemin held your legs to stop them from clamping around his head. You hissed in pain feeling his nails dig into your skin. His tongue moved against you quickly, making you against his mouth roughly. Your mouth opens, soft gasps and curses leave your lips.

Jaemin watched you as you basically fell apart right above him. You looked so pretty to him every time you fucked, never a dull moment with you. He didn't feel this way with Maya. Feeling like he could do whatever he wanted to you, the feeling knowing he could ask you if whatever and you would argue. Sometimes he wished that it was you he got to hug and hold and kiss and show around to everyone, but he was grateful to you for even letting him in your apartment.

Your brows furrowed as you felt yourself getting close. You let go of his hair, immediately moving your hand to the back of his head pushing his mouth closer to your core. "God, I'm so fucking close."

Jaemin nods, pulling your body closer to his. You let go of his head, placing your hand behind you to keep your balance. You feel your whole body shiver as a tight ball from your stomach. Your moans escape louder, filling the room and Jaemin's ears. His name spills past your lips over and over while you cum on his tongue, giving him satisfaction. Jaemin stood up, kissing you without giving you a chance to breathe. He pulled you off the counter and turned you around, immediately bending you over the surface.

"I-I thought you had something to do with Maya," you asked.

"She can wait."

You weren't as discreet with your excitement as you thought, but it didn't matter that much to you. Jaemin knew you didn't care and he didn't care either. He didn't care that he was doing something he wasn't, saying things he wasn't supposed to.

Jaemin pulled his length out his sweats, taking a condom out his pocket. You watch him as he quickly slides it on. You don't feel guilty, you never have. In fact, you couldn't be happier, especially when he's pushing himself into you slowly, filling your insides like right now. Every time he fucks you, you swear he was made for you.

Jaemin rocked his hips into you slowly, holding your hips firmly. Soft grunts left his lips while you let out soft moans, head resting on the counter.

"Fuck," you mumbled.

"That feel good?"

You nodded, moans becoming whiny with every movement. Jaemin loved every sound you made. Every moan, groan, whine, even gasp felt so genuine, so real. Only you could help him in his fucked up stressful days. Just your voice, body, just you, but he would never admit that, especially while he was with Maya.

"Faster Jaemin."

Jaemin obliged, thrusting inside of you faster. Your moans became louder with each movement, some muffled by your hands. You looked back at him, immediately being met with his piercing gaze. He loves looking in your eyes when he fucked you. It was something he never really did with Maya because she hated the emotional part of sex. But the emotion was something he always had with you, even with no eye contact and that's what scared him the most.

Jaemin's hands never left your sides, especially when you reached back and clasped your hand with his. He thrust deeper into you, making his brows furrowed in pleasure.

"You feel so good," he mumbled.

"I know baby.."

"Fuck Y/N.."

Jaemin leaned down, leaving small kisses on your neck. You tilted your head giving him more access. Jaemin, who was too wrapped up in his emotions, bit your neck softly. Maya told you he did that to her a couple of times, that he only does it when he's in a heated state of mind. This was the first time he did it to you, and probably the first time you felt so close to him in a while.

"I'm so close Y/N," he moaned softly.

"Me too."

"Cum with me okay?"

He watched as you moaned his name, throwing your head back. The grip you had in his hand grew tighter as your moans grew louder. You were close, so close.

"I-I'm cumming Jaemin," you whined loudly.

He nodded as he felt you squeeze around him tight, making him groan in pleasure. Jaemin came right after you, pressing his hips into you. The both of you stood there, Jaemin slumped over your body in pure bliss that was soon taken over by the irritation of having to leave right away.

You could tell how quickly the mood shifted when he lifted himself from your body and pulled out of you carefully.

"I have to go," he said plainly.

It took everything in you not to break down and cry right there. It was embarrassing really- a girl who just fucked her best friend's boyfriend for the 100th time- is sad because he has to go back to her. You're sad because he can't just stay with you for the rest of the day, just lay with you and cuddle. It shouldn't break your heart but it does every time.

"Can't you just say for a little bit?" Your voice came out small, shaky from trying not to break down. You were pulling on your clothes, hands shaking as he stood in front of you with a blank expression.

"I have to leave," he replied sternly.

"I never ask you for anything-"

"You do this every time." Jaemin's voice began to raise a bit. He often yelled when he was angry, you've heard it and experienced it on many occasions, but it was nothing like what Maya had to go through.

"Why do you act like I'm holding you hostage to stay here? Cut the fucking attitude."

Jaemin clenched his jaw, eyes scanning your face when you lean against your counter silently. He didn't want to leave you. He didn't want to be on the receiving end of your angry text, your threats, your attitude. "Why can't you just understand that I have to go and leave it at that?"

"Because you come here and fuck me, then leave and expect me to deal with it and not be upset," you confess.

"You shouldn't be upset. We shouldn't even be doing this," he groans in his palms.

You look at him, hurt filling your eyes. You hated it when he said it out loud. It's as if he doesn't know the torment that occurs every time you see him at your front door. You shouldn't be doing this, but neither should he.

"This wouldn't be happening if you didn't kiss me," you mumbled.

Jaemin moved his hands from his face, a shocked and confused smile on his lips. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

You looked at him, rolling your eyes. "What," you asked with indifference.

"Did you just try to blame this on me," he questioned angrily.

You stood there silent just staring at him with your arms crossed. You couldn't answer. Jaemin walked up to you, looking down at you with an intimidating, dangerous gaze.

"You can't talk all of a sudden," he taunts.

"Fuck you."

Jaemin let a dry, unamused laugh leave his lips. He backed up from you and leaned on your fridge. "Cursing at me isn't going to undo anything we just did you know."

"Do you think I don't feel like shit when you walk in here? You think I feel good knowing how much I'm hurting Maya?" The tears you tried so desperately to hold back began spilling. You frantically wiped your tears when you looked at you.

"No I don't," Jaemin answered, shrugging his shoulders. "I think you don't care enough to have been fucking me all this time."

"You're one to talk. You initiated this-"

"And you agreed. If you were a good friend, you would tell her, but you're not." Jaemin spoke plainly, heartlessly. His words cut through you like glass and it hurt him a bit more than it should. You needed to hear it though. It was the truth after all. "And you might not think so, but I feel guilty too."

"Coming here fucking me doesn't show it," you spat.

"You're not a saint." Jaemin was beginning to grow tired of your victim mentality. Nothing was ever your fault in your eyes. It was always him or her or them, but nothing was ever on you.

"I don't try to be," you yelled. "I'm going through a lot and-and I'm trying to work on it okay? Jaemin what we have is complicated-"

"Complicated," he questioned. "It's not complicated. Nothing about this is complicated."

"So you're telling me you feel the same way with her," you questioned.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're telling me when you leave here and go back to her you don't think of me?"

Jaemin's mouth opened to answer you, but he had nothing to say. He did think of you, all the time in fact, even when he was with Maya. Sometimes he couldn't wait to get away from her just to see you for 10 minutes at most. The first time he realized that was the first time he felt guilty. At first, it was just you and him and a small fling, but when you began arguing, that's when he knew it was much deeper. Maya wasn't good for him, but neither were you.

"Y/N…"

You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces hearing the way he said your name. You knew what was going to happen. You thought about it a lot more often than you should, but what did you expect? The relationship you built with him was nothing more than spontaneous. It wasn't supposed to go on for this long, just some fun for the both of you.

"Jaemin, please." The tears were spilling from your eyes freely, fat drops of salty water filling on your shirt. You were shaking, emotions at an all time high.

"We can't do this anymore," he said, a pained expression on his face.

"P-please Jae. I can't handle it. We can work something out," you sobbed. You grabbed his hand, holding it tight as hot tears fell from your face.

"I'm done with this, and I'm done with Maya. I can't keep doing this to the both of you and myself. I'm sorry," he mumbled. He watched you cry, wanting to just hold you in his arms, but he couldn't. He couldn't say the things he wanted to say, do the things he wanted to do. "We're gonna have to tell her.."

You looked up quickly, fear taking over your broken heart. You couldn't tell Maya. You've seen what she did to people who crossed her. Maya might've been sweet and funny, but she was ruthless to people she hated. You didn't want to be hated by her, that's the last thing you wanted from her.

"No, no, no. We-we can't," you stuttered, shaking your head.

"I know you're scared of her, but there's nothing that she'll do to you that she won't do to me," he said, attempting to comfort you.

"You don't understand, Jaemin. She will kill me. Please don't tell her," you begged.

Jaemin frowned, letting go of your hand. "I wish you would at least be truthful to her after this time. You don't have to do it for yourself or me, just her. She deserves to know that her best friend broke her trust.'

His words stung your heart. It was like him rubbing salt in the wound over and over again, reminding you of what you did. "Whatever, just leave."

He let out a heavy sigh grabbing his phone and keys from your counter. "Please know that I didn't want any of this to happen."

And with that, Jaemin left. You couldn't watch him walk out the door, not wanting to cry again in front of him. It's unfortunate that the person you had to fall for had to be your best friend's boyfriend, but that's the way life works sometimes. In the end, you'll always be the secret or the second choice. You were used to it and this was no different.

You stood there for at least an hour, staring at the door or your phone hoping he would come back or text you, but you got nothing. The months of just you and Jaemin finished as fast as it started. Not surprising to you in the slightest, just not what you envisioned. You wanted it to end on a poetic note, much more intimate and emotional, but how could you ask him of that? After all, what the two of you were was complicated.

It didn't matter now, what was done was done, and all there was left to do was wait for everything to crash and burn.

[batsplat]

OOH do you have any old motogp forum recs?? I would love to see what fans were saying in like the early 2000s, but I have no idea where to look

lemme check my bookmarks... r1-forum I've gone through a fair bit, threads dating back to early 2004. motogpforum goes back to early 2005. motorsportsforum picks up late 2006-ish, that one I've gone through in its entirety for the early alien era. motorradonline24 is admittedly in german but has the BIG selling point that it goes all the way back to 2001. apriliaforum also goes pretty far back but it takes a little longer for discussion of actual racing to get going. there's definitely more I've checked out - I might make a proper list at some point, but just to start you off

the thing about these forums is that it's undoubtedly interesting and useful to get some context of fan opinions (good mix of actual nuance/worthwhile discussion and just slagging off a bunch of riders)... but if anything they're even more precious as a record of actual *news* that has otherwise been scrubbed from the internet. there's a lot of drama and controversies and anecdotes that only exist on these forums

which... tbh there's been quite a few that I haven't included in my posts just because I'm not entirely sure they quite pass the burden of proof requirements. but man, so many of them are so interesting. it's a tricky balance. just as an example - one particularly nasty thing casey allegedly said about jorge that IF TRUE does feel like it would add something to my understanding of casey. but the article only exists on forum pages... still, it made it to three different forums I can find and is written in the usual tone of the author, so I feel fairly confident the original article existed. but then again, the article itself is just an anecdotal conversation relayed by one bloke. on the other hand, this is a reputable enough commentator you wouldn't expect to COMPLETELY make it up - and funnily enough I have even found a photo of him talking to casey that specific weekend. on the other other hand, it's a colourful anecdote that might have been exaggerated for effect. then again, I can kinda see casey saying it - not least because casey confirmed in his autobiography years later that he was pissed off at jorge that specific weekend. but it does feel like the sort of thing that should have caused a controversy... like if jorge saw what casey allegedly said you'd expect there to be nuclear winter, and there's no further trace of it. hm

so what do you do with that kind of thing, share it or not? the further you go back with this stuff the worse it gets, where I keep finding - plus am being sent - increasingly wild quotes from early noughties motogp. at least most of those are from news sites, some of them of dubious quality, but generally you'd really like to find at least one other source backing up the quotes. which often you won't get!! so yeah, it's all interesting context and gossip, but as ever I'd advise being wary of the specific stories. even the funny ones. especially the funny one

anyway, all that being said. this ask was sent in relation to a post about laguna 2008, so I'm going to take this excuse to actually share some discussion of laguna 2008

so. taking u through the fan chat of the weekend from one specific forum with select commentary... here's the thread starter

reminder that dani was injured at the sachsenring and would eventually opt against racing (effectively ending his title bid, but michelin was useless anyway that weekend)

relatively good reason to believe in english-speaker (and in particular american) overperformance at the track. obviously hayden won there the first two years, edwards even beat valentino to second in 2005 which has got to be the only time that year he finished ahead of vale. often more familiar with the track, or it just suits their riding style better. and ofc vermeulen did bag a distant third. still. valentino in the trenches if people thing edwards will beat him icl

have to say. the idea of the 125/250 riders going down that corkscrew fills me with a visceral sense of horror

'marco' btw as in marco melandri, in the middle of his ducati season from hell

dovi super popular in 2008 fyi, darling of the posters. everyone was obsessed with his rookie season

plenty of solid foreshadowing happening here you have to say

it is very motogp rider behaviour, and also very valentino behaviour, to look at the corkscrew, go 'hm i don't think this is even safe to WALK down', and then fucking hurl yourself at the other guy into that very same corner as you're both travelling at horrifying speeds on a motorcycle. going tentatively through that bit of the track during practise and then in the race he's making his bike go bounce bounce like a trampoline

wow!

*stares at camera*

still nasty work to say this, he repeated it in several interviews I think

okay, no forum posts during the race itself so now we skip to the post-race discussion

which is what the tone from a lot of posters was like

narrator: casey had not calmed down

(if you watch the podium ceremony and see some of the photos without context, you WOULD think they're having a laff. it's just that they're having a laff while casey is telling valentino that he's lost respect for him and valentino is delighted)

two australians on the podium btw

jorge highside cameo

a lot of people were whinging about a lot of 800cc races being boring because a lot of them were. you can copy and paste much of what people are saying about racing these days, if you want to get an idea of the tone

casey fan writes in

again. cannot be stressed enough how casey very much had not calmed down. but that's the fun thing about that rivalry, like they will ALWAYS have a tonal mismatch between their face-to-face interactions and whatever out of pocket things are being said in the press. casey also really big on the pissed off smile which helps

'not even sure that the riders even touched at any point' is. pushing it

yeah the no handshake thing really didn't get a positive response (casey did ofc eventually shake valentino's hand on the podium)

is it really a clean battle if you think someone will fall off

don't want to say that it's a lost cause because casey DID get smarter about this stuff, but ducati certainly aren't doing shit

so much of laguna and its legacy is about both of them threatening each other lol, please allow him

again, podium chat categorically not a friendly conversation. otherwise qualified casey defence

likewise

thought this was interesting in terms of discussion of actual rules - valentino said a few years ago the move wouldn't be allowed anymore and he thinks that's a good thing

“It needs rules,” he said. .”Because the situation with the overtaking manoeuvers and everything is much more extreme now than it was in Laguna Seca in 2008. The routes have changed a lot, now there is no more grass next to the slope, but the green stripe.  “That was done for safety. Because if you catch the grass at that speed, you'll fly away. The asphalt, on the other hand, is less dangerous. In my opinion, however, you have to make a rule and say that you shouldn't touch the green at all - see it as if there were still grass there. “At the level we have reached today, which is extreme in many respects, everyone goes over the curbs and is all green if you don't have a clear rule. I think that's the right thing to do.”

but yeah tbh... I know casey disagrees but I feel like the move WAS probably fine by standards of back then

some more rules chat

and more

"will be hearing big footsteps every time he is in front"

and here we are then. not much that's groundbreaking, but I do find it interesting!! this is a pretty pro-casey audience... most of these forums were generally pretty positive about him. english language speakers were way more hostile towards dani and later jorge for various reasons - you'll also find at least some distaste for valentino in these spaces alongside the usual adulation. so that's the yardstick... this is probably close to as casey-friendly as discussion of the race got among the wider fanbase. it was always going to be a tough sell to air his grievances about this race until a few years had passed. the general reaction was that the racing had been hard but fine, an extremely welcome contrast to the general quality of racing at the time. and almost nobody thought casey should have reacted as he did in parc fermé. interesting contrast with jerez 2005 actually (though admittedly sete not particularly popular in most forums) - sete was low key seen as having a more legitimate grievance than casey. anyway, obviously this blog's stance is that sportsmanship is overrated, but that's how you end up getting the poor bloke apologising in brno