#(I’m not waiting til tomorrow to go take pics of these in the sun)

[entropyvoid]

[fckwritersblock]

More Than Therapy

Bucky x black!reader

Warning: sooooo there is smut ahead. Okay like, not complete filth but it’s there! Who even knows what this is, but enjoy it!

Pic below from post by @afriendlyblackhottie

(Unedited.)

“Look, I’m not saying that she’s not a great therapist, I’m just think that she’s not your style.”

Bucky didn’t hide his eye roll.

For the past 2 weeks, Sam had been trying to convince him he needed a second option. Ever since he had his own encounter with Bucky’s therapist, which consisted of being forcefully included in one of their sessions, he could see it wasn’t really helping Bucky at all. Not that Sam was an expert or anything, he just knew his.....friend.

“Alright Sam, fine.” Bucky sighed tossing the wrench to the side. “So what. I kick my therapist to curb, then what? You got some kind of recommendation or something?”

Sam just smirked before turning and making his way off the boat.

“Actually I do.”

Now here Bucky was, waiting on another person to come and try to break down all his walls and get in his head and help him with through his ‘issues’.

“Waste of time.” He mumbled to his self.

However, when she walked in the door, that thought quickly left.

“I’m Y/n.”

“James”

“It’s nice to meet you James.”

For the first time in a very long time Bucky felt comfortable almost immediately. The conversation didn’t feel forced, he didn’t feel pressured, it was just easy. Y/n didn’t push and pry. She simply let him answer the way he want and what he wanted. She let him sort of control the conversation. It was refreshing.

From then on, he saw her twice a week. Their first two weeks together was just them getting to know one another. Establishing trust on Buckys end. He appreciated that for once the woman so much pressure for him to be OK so soon. Finally, after about a month or so, they were doing a little exercises here and there to work through his trauma. The first assignment, it was actually pretty similar to the last psychiatrist he had seen. To get out and make at least one friend. Find an activity or something that he enjoys.

“So have you been getting out like we discussed?”

“Yeah I’ve gone out.” He nodded carelessly with a grin as he sat across the table from her.

Y/n raised an eyebrow. “To places besides the bar.”

“Yes.”

“Liar.” She said and it was her turn to grin as she held her hand out.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, handing over his phone. Bucky watched her click a few buttons knowing she was checking his contacts. This was like Deja vu.

“You have the same amount of numbers in your phone as last week Barnes.”

“Not true Doc, I have you.” He smiled sheepishly.

“I hardly count Barnes.” A small smile graced her face nonetheless.

She was quiet for a moment and he took that opportunity to study her. In deep thought. Y/n had a tell. She’d bite the corner of her bottom lip on the right side every time she was trying to figure something out. Usually before she came up with his homework before the next session.

“I have a thought but you’re not gonna like it.” She began after while.

“Lay it on Doc.”

“I don’t feel like you are actively trying to be a part of society. What you’ve been doing, trying to right your wrongs of the other guy...” she drifted for a moment. “It’s futile. You don’t need to do that. That-“

Y/n paused taking a deep breath.

“That’s not you.” She spoke softly.

“But that is me! I am winter soldier!” He yelled on his feet quickly.

Anger. He was familiar with the feeling. Angry was something he just couldn’t seem to stop feeling. Even if he didn’t show it, it was like he was angry all the time. However feeling it with her was unfamiliar. And he could feel the inner turmoil of him taking his frustrations out on her as he tried to push that anger back down.

“Were.” Y/n stated with finality, voice strong. “You were the winter Solider. And that wasn’t you. That’s just a couple of dark chapters in the book of your life. That’s it.

“You don’t know m-“

“But that is not you.” She repeated a little louder commanding forcing him to look her dead in the eyes. “That’s not who you are, James. And while I may not have known you pre-hydra, or during, but I’m knowing you now. And that’s just not you.”

Y/n leaned back in her chair.

“I know that here, Bucky.” She grinned a little placing her hand over her heart and tapped twice. “And deep down, so do you.”

“. You, James Buchanan Barnes, you are not the bad guy.

The anger he had been feeling had subsided and I was replaced with something that was completely unfamiliar to him. Something he longed for couldn’t quite the grass. Something that he didn’t even realize was in within his reach until noon.. The feeling, regardless of how unfamiliar it was with something Bucky didn’t think he wanted to go away.

The silence between them was comfortable. Y/n could tell that he was processing her words. It was a good thing, she could because he was no longer good tense and his stance was relaxed instead of defensive.

“You know what? We’re finished for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She declared.

“What?” Bucky snapped out of his tranced and frowned. “Doc, come on. I shouldn’t be seeing you til Thursday.”

“Yeah tomorrow,” she nodded with a smile. “I want to try something different.”

The next day but he showed up at their usual time, 11 AM. When he stopped at a reception to ask for Dr. Y/n they informed him she was out for the day. He frowned and turned to leave only to find her approaching him from the elevator.

“Hey! You ready to go?” Y/n offered a gentle smile.

“I thought we were-“ he asked went fo point back toward her office but she stopped him.

“We are. We’re just doing things differently today.” She informed him, before nodding her head toward the elevator. “Let’s go.”

Their day together was eventful to say the least. Their first stop was her favorite coffee spot. It was actually a little hole in the wall called Hippies Brew in the downtown area. A cool modern place full of friendly and eccentric individuals. It was comfortable. Homey. It wasnt one she’d typically recommend clients, but she would recommend it to friends. After that they were too the aquarium followed by the park where they sat on a park bench for lunch. Lunch being tacos from the El Gordo’s taco truck parked near by. Well a lot of the time at the park or spit in silence, it was still comfortable as a people watched together. While Bucky hated to admit it, this is the first time he really just felt at peace. There was no one looking over him with some unrealistic expectation of him to be Steve, and become so hero he wasn’t. There was no pressure to get his shit together right then and there. He was just simply allowed to be Bucky. Unapologetically.

“Walk with me?” He asked.

Y/n raised an eyebrow, surprised he initiated doing something together, but agreed with a smile.

Soon enough they easily fell into conversation of as they began to walk the lake.

Before they knew it, the sun was beginning to set. Their time together lasted longer than Y/n planned but either was it was nice. She enjoyed today, as did he. Bucky’s offered to walk her back to her car, savoring their last few moments together.

“Are you sure I can’t give you a ride home?” Y/n asked as they got closer to her car in the now empty lot.

“Yeah, Doc, lm sure.” He smiled back at her, her smile and laugh being infectious. “I like walking. It gives me time to think. it’s peaceful. Kind of like today.”

Y/n’s smile widened at his confession. So her idea did work. He was making progress.

“ That’s what you deserve James peace. I can’t promise every day is gonna be like this.” She turned away approaching the driver side door. “I mean, it is life there are going to be some bad days. But you do deserve some peace. Some happiness.

She turned to see that he was a lot closer than she thought saying that he was preparing to open the door for her. She swallowed, suddenly feel in the air around them shift. As she ran her tongue over her lips, Bucky’s eyes zeroed in on the action.

“You just have to let yourself have it.” She said softly.

It was in that exact moment where James decided he was going to do just that; let himself have happiness. And without thinking, he leaned forward and connected his lips with her.

He pulled away almost as soon as it happened eyes wide.

“James…” y/n finger tips traced her lips as she stared at him.

“I am, i, I don’t know-“ Bucky stuttered.

He went to take a step back but was stopped. This time it was her who initiated the kiss.

What started off as gentle, turned into her fisting a handful of his shirt put him closer with his hands wrapped around her waist. The heat that washed over them both, was like a moth to a flame. The passion poured into the kiss from both ends quickly consuming them both. The two fighting for a dominance, it wasn’t until they both harshly pushed against her car setting the alarm off that they snapped out of it.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry wh-“ Y/n’s eyes were wide as she looked around anxiously.

Bucky could sense her panicking.

“y/n-“

“ I am so sorry. That was highly inappropriate of me-“

“Breathe for me doll-“ he reached for her but she pulled her hand away shaking her head vigorously.

“I can’t, we can’t, I have never.” She took a deep breath, her next words still coming out shaky. “I’m so sorry. To take a vantage of you like that-“

“I was the one who-“ he attempted once more to no avail.

“I have to go. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” She rushed out, flinging her door open and getting in the car.

All Bucky could do was watch as she wasted no time peeling out of the parking lot.

That was the last he had seen or heard of her. It had been almost two weeks and she had canceled both his weekly sessions and hadn’t answered any of his calls or returned any of the messages he left both at the office and on her cell phone.

And boy, was he stressed about it.

He had never felt that kind of passion before. To be honest it was something he didn’t think he was capable of feeling. He had been consumed by anger for so long, he wanted to cling onto whatever else, anything else. Bucky would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel the chemistry between them. He came to the conclusion he’d been falling for her for a while, and was clearly in denial until that day they spent the day together. It’s not like he was trying to fall for his therapist. But now that he had...Ge had to at least try. Make sure what he was feeling wasn’t one sided.That spark. It was a feeling, a high he had never felt. One he knew he’d forever be chasing and he wanted it again and again and again. So when the third week approached he decided to take matters into his own hands.

A knock her door tore her away from Grey’s Anatomy.

“Coming!”

Pulling her dress down, she went and answered the door.

“Bucky.” She said his name breathlessly.

“Y/n.” He breathed out, happy to be in her presence even though it hurt slightly to hear her suddenly calling him Bucky.

He quite liked when she called him James. He liked the way she said his name.

“What are you-, how.” She tried to control her breathing. “You can’t be here.”

“I need you,” he signed. “To hear me out.”

“Bucky-“

“James.” He corrected her. “Look, I know this totally inappropriate but I-“

James paused taking in her appearance, noticing the purple bruising around her lower right eye above her cheekbone.

“Who?” He questioned through gritted teeth.

“Huh?”

He huffed pushing past her and moving in and around the apartment as if someone would come out and confess. He turned toward her a wild look in his eye.

“Give me. A name, Y/n.”

“James....” she signed.

While he knew she was talking seeing as her lips were moving, It was like he could hear her but he wasn’t hearing her. Bucky couldn’t focus on anything other than a bruise on the side of Y/n’s beautiful face. It had been along time since Bucky had thought of actually hurting somebody, save for John Walker last week which was another story entirely, whoever did this to her face though, he wanted to hurt them bad and he was going to enjoy it. His eyes traveled down toward her lips and he still couldn’t hear her. All he could hear was his fist repeated smashing into said individuals face. Over, and over, over-

“James!”

The sound of her voice finally resonated and he finally focused on her words.

“Come back to me James.” Her voice was gently. Inviting.

Everything he noticed both her hands on the side of his face, her thumb rubbing soothingly.

“It’s fine.” She said slowly removing her hands away as she explained. “There’s no need to hunt anyone down. Just a regular 50150 patient and things got out of hand. It happens.”

“No one should touch you.” He stated with seriousness.

Y/n stared at him for a moment, the right side of her lip pulled between her teeth, eyes pooling with something he hadn’t seen in her before. She shrugged nonchalantly.

“I kind of like it when you touch me.”

Her voice was barely above a whisper but he heard her loud and clear.

Just like before, it started off with light kisses, which soon turned into a bit of teasing, a little lip nipping, before things got extremely heated. Both his shirt had been discarded while the straps of her dress were pulled down revealing her black Savage Fenty bra. They had somehow moved from the living room to the kitchen island. Bucky stood between her legs one hand tangled in her braids while her hands held the sides of her face, gently caressing the stubble. Her legs were wrapped around his middles as she began grinding her hips into him. He pulled her closer, the both of them on a high from the friction. Bucky’s metal hand traveled up her bare back giving her goosebumps. They broke apart for air and as soon as Y/n had enough oxygen in her lungs, she went back to licking, kissing and sucking on his neck.

"Shit, Y/n.” Bucky unconsciously tilted his head back giving her better access, his hands palming her ass as his hips bucked into her.

"James." Y/n pulled back panting, lips swollen. " I want you. Now."

Bucky made quick work of removing her panties that coated in her juices , and in return y/n quickly unbuckled his pants using her feet to aid her in pushing them down.

“Shit.” He groaned immediately as she whimpered slightly at the feel of him sliding into her.

Her arms were wound around his neck while his hand gripped the top of her ass to keep her in place as he begin to slowly thrust in and out of her.

Bucky was on a high. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this level of intimacy. Euphoria. He was sure this feeling should be illegal.

The way she were wrapped around him, he knew if he didn’t take it semi slow he wasn’t going to last.

“James,” she moaned, clawing at his back, walls clenching.

He wasn’t sure what sounded sweeter; her moaning or his name leaving her lips.

“Doll?” He responded, kissing the at the base of her neck.

I’m clos-“ Y/n sucked in a breath of air. “Right there.”

“There?” He asked spreading her ass cheeks apart so he could go deeper.

“Yes! Right there!”

It was a bit sloppy from there as Bucky shifted for a better angle. Her ass halfway off the table as he picked up the pace bit her her closer to the edge. He was bouncing her up and down on his shaft effortlessly. Her arms wrapped right around his neck, kiss sloppy as she bit her lip to keep her moans at bay.

“No,” he breathed out, reaching up with one hand forcing her to kissing him, her moans filling his mouth instead. “I want to hear you.”

“James, I’m-“

“I know.”

The sight of Y/n coming undone before him was a glorious one . He couldn’t wait to make her cum again.

Once she came down from her orgasm, she placed her lips back on his, tightening her legs around him once more. He shifted their position a bit and begin again when suddenly the front door opened and in walked Sam.

“Oh shit!” Bucky pulled out of her and struggled to pull up his pants and turned to shield her half naked frame.

“Sam!” Y/n squealed pulling her dress up to her chest as best she could.

“What in the entire fuck!” Sam screamed while covering his eyes.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Y/n yelled.

“You told me toy were off!”

“I’m am off!”

“Well I thought I’d bring you dinner! I didn’t know id find this!” Sam said exasperatedly.

Y/n and Bucky were decent informing Sam he no longer had to cover his eyes. Immediately he pointed an accusatory finger at Bucky.

“You! What the fuck did I tell you about my sister?”

Bucky stared at him confused.

“You said not to flirt with your sister.” He repeated Sam’s words. “Sarah’s not..”

He then turned toward Y/n, things finally clicking.

“You’re Sam’s sister.” Bucky concluded.

“Baby sister.” Sam. added.

“I’m grown as hell Samuel!” Y/n fussed.

“Really bruh, my baby sister?!”

“Well how i suppose to know you only refer to her as baby!”

“Once again! I’m grown as fuck-“ she stopped hearing the front door creek open again.

“Who’s that?!” The woman’s eyes were wide with horror as she whispered.

“The boys!” Sam exclaimed in a whisper.

“Why didn’t you say they were here-“ she began frantically washing her hands.

“I’m sorry I was a little fuckin preoccupied with the fact my sister is fucking an assassin-

“Former assassin!” Bucky corrected.

“Hey TT!” Sarah’s boys greeted simultaneously with smiles as they bent the corner.

“Hey my babies!” Y/n instantly put a smile on her face pulling them each into her arms.

“Hey Bucky!” Cass waved

“Hey Bucky!” AJ addressed the solider as well before turning back toward his brother, “Cass , come on.”

“Wait let me put the pizza on the counter-“

“No!” The three adults exclaimed together.

“No boo, I’ll take it.” Y/n smiled again at her nephew taking the pizza.

“why don’t yall go in the living room and get the game set up?” Sam suggested.

“Yes! Let’s take the pizza in there while they bleach the kitchen?” Y/n hinted at the men while telling the kids to follow her.

“Oh yeah! TT, Uncle Sam got us two new video games!”,AJ informed her. “He also said we can watch a scary movie tonight since moms not here.

“Yeah! Andddd, he said we can door dash ice cream!” Cass added as the two kids followed their aunt into the living room.

Though he was silent, throughout the entire interaction but he couldn’t help but want you living room interact with the two kids. Back in the day, if you would’ve asked him if he believed in love at first site he would’ve said no. But he was pretty sure he was in love with Y/n already.

Once out of sight, Bucky took that opportunity to speak after a beat.

“Have I ever told you I’m glad you treat your nephew’s so well, Sam?” He asked after clearing his throat.

Sam sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Bucky turned to him with a huge grin on his face.

“Cuz I’m gonna give you another one.”

Slowly Sam began to laugh, albeit one full of sarcasm, Bucky joined in sincerely. They laughed together for a moment before Sam ceased, his face expressionless.

“Bucky?”

“Yeah Sam?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

[kozumekenza]

house of memories :: three

:: kageyama tobio x f!reader :: playlist :: masterlist ::

:: taglist: open :: wc: 2.0k ::

the last you had heard of kageyama tobio, he was following his grandfather’s footsteps and leaving you behind to join the syndicate. a chance meeting throws him back into your life, along with all of the memories.

tw: mafia elements, profanity, blood, discussion of kidnapping

Dinner is a quiet affair, the three of you sitting in the penthouse’s dining room while a personal chef serves you. The food is delicious, and for a moment, you’re yet again jealous of Kageyama for having all of this at his disposal. Pre-packaged bentos and junk food are the norm for you, so you would kill to have a personal chef. 

“So, y/n, what are you up to now?” Miwa spears a piece of chicken with her fork as she speaks, her eyes locked on you.

You can’t help the smile that comes to your face. “I’m sure you already know.”

She has the foresight to look slightly disappointed. “True, but I want to hear it from you.”

You sigh, taking another bite. “I’m in college at Tokyo University, just started my fourth year. Going pre-med. My best friend is finishing up nursing school. I intern at a research lab on campus, but that’s about it for extracurriculars. Most of my time is spent doing homework and applying to medical school now, anyway.”

“Fun, I guess?”

You shake your head. “Not at all.”

Miwa tilts her head. “Why do you do it, then?”

Contemplating, you pause for a second. Why are you doing all of this? “I want to be a doctor, and these are just the steps for getting there. I do what I have to do.”

She nods in understanding. “You need a break sometime, though. We should hangout sometime, go shopping and whatnot.”

Kageyama, who has been silent during the entire conversation, finally speaks. “You just want to spend my money.”

Miwa reaches across the table to swat at her brother, who avoids her hand by quickly sliding his chair back. “So what if I do? You have so much of it and you never do anything with it. Someone needs to put it to good use, and I’m sure y/n and I can do that.”

Kageyama accepts his defeat with a blank stare. “Fine.”

Miwa squeals in delight and you laugh along with her. “When are you free? I spotted this gorgeous Balmain dress that I’ve had my eye on for awhile, and last time I was in Versace, I found this beautiful zip-up mini, but I didn’t like how it looked on me. I think you would look amazing in it!”

You give her an incredulous look. “I’m free tomorrow, but I’m not quite sure that I could afford that.”

Miwa gasps. “Don’t worry about that, we’re using Tobio’s money.”

The man in question just sighs.

“I couldn’t use his money-”

“Just do it.” Your eyes snap to Kageyama, who seems ready to say anything for this conversation to be over.

“There’s no way, I-”

“Just use the money, y/n. Miwa’s right anyway, I really have too much money that I’ll never use. I’ll give you my black card.”

Your eyes widen. “I really can’t let you do that.”

“Y/n, I have three billion dollars sitting in an account that I never touch. I can afford a shopping spree for you and my sister.”

You truly can’t believe that you’re sitting in front of a billionaire. You figured Kageyama was rich, but this rich? You want to ask him how he did it (you know the answer) or if he can pay for your medical school tuition instead, but what comes out of your mouth is: “Three billion?”

“Yes. Consider it an apology for this mess I’ve gotten you into.” He takes out his wallet and slides a card across the table. “If there isn’t at least a hundred thousand missing from the account, I’ll custom order something for you.” He stands, turning towards the stairs, leaving you slack-jawed and stunned. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some work to finish up. Y/n, I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow when Miwa inevitably drags you back here to try on everything.”

Speechless, you turn to Miwa, who looks smug and delighted. When you finally regain the ability to talk, all you can do is pick up the weighted credit card and whisper, “What the fuck.”

---

The next day, you step outside of your apartment and see a nondescript black sedan parked on the street. You laugh a little to yourself before snapping a pic and messaging it to Kageyama with the caption “you won’t even know they’re there, he said”.

---

When Miwa picks you up in her Lexus after your morning lab, it’s with a coffee and croissant in hand. You sink into the seat, sipping your coffee as she drives off. 

“Thank you so much. I can’t believe you remembered my coffee order after all this time.”

She grins sheepishly. “It was in the file.”

“S-Seriously?” you sputter, “He has that kind of shit in my file?”

“He has all sorts of shit in that file.”

You shake your head. “At least if I get kidnapped, they’ll know my coffee order.”

“Hey, about that,” Miwa parks and turns to look at you, “are you alright? I know it’s probably pretty scary, knowing that someone has all that information about you and could use it against you at any moment.”

“I think I’m alright. I mean, I knew it would always be a possibility.”

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure. If you ever need to talk about it, you have my number.”

You give her a smile. “Thank you, Miwa.”

“Of course. Now let’s go shopping.”

---

You’re starting to question how Kageyama has any money at all. Miwa is a menace when shopping, dragging you from store to store, every clerk greeting her by name and suggesting anything new they have to fit her tastes. She was right, her Balmain dress is gorgeous, and you tell her so when she models it for you. She brings you to Versace to show you the zip-up mini, and you immediately fall in love. It’s a gorgeous dress, black with gold accents. 

Paying for it, however, is another story. You feel so guilty when you hand over the black card, you almost tell the clerk that you’ve changed your mind. The only thing that stops you is Miwa standing next to you, her eyes encouraging you and reminding you that if you don’t spend the money, Kageyama will do it for you.

“Do you wanna stay over tonight? Tobio’s working late, and I’ve honestly missed spending time with you. You’ve always been like a little sister to me.”

Miwa’s words take you by surprise. You always thought that she hated you after you walked away from Kageyama, but her actions so far have shown the complete opposite. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you guys.”

“Of course I’m sure.” Her smile is bright as she leads you to the next store. “We have two guest rooms in the penthouse, and I want to have a girls night.”

“That honestly sounds amazing.” Hana’s on night shift again tonight, and you would much rather spend your evening with Miwa than in an empty apartment.

“Great, I’m glad.” Miwa’s smile disappears as she browses a rack of blouses. “Honestly, I don’t have that many friends. It’s hard to keep them, doing what we do, and I’m always with Tobio anyway. It’s so nice to have a girl to talk to.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. This is probably the first time I’ve hung out with a friend in over a year.” Miwa’s sadness shows in her eyes, and you feel awful for her. She’s always there for her brother, putting him before herself. 

You pull her in for a hug. “I don’t want to say that I’m glad the files were hacked, but I am glad that you are back in my life again.”

“Me too.”

---

Somehow, Miwa convinces you to get matching silk robes for your girls’ night, along with enough skincare and spa products to last for weeks. You’re exhausted by the time you’re finally done shopping, satisfied with your purchases but still feeling slightly guilty. The numerous shopping bags are put into the car, and soon enough, you’re heading back to the penthouse.

When you arrive, the sun has already set, and she ushers you into her bedroom to try on everything you bought, just as Kageyama predicted. All in all, you made out pretty well, with two purses, two pairs of Louboutins (one pair for Hana, of course), numerous clubbing outfits, and some nicer clothes for med school interviews. Miwa claps and cheers as you twirl and spin, gushing over your new outfits. 

“You look so gorgeous, y/n.”

This time, she’s referring to the robe that matches hers. It’s truly an extravagant thing, long and flowing with silk and lace. It feels nonexistent on your skin, and you think that if you had to pick one thing to wear for the rest of your life, it would be this. 

“Thank you.” You’re blushing slightly as you twirl in front of the mirror. You’ve never worn anything like this before.

“Just wait ‘til Tobio comes home and sees you in it.”

Your head snaps up and your cheeks turn bright red as you rush over to a giggling Miwa, clapping a hand over her mouth. “Don’t say things like that.”

You remove your hand slowly, and immediately regret it. “Why? It’s true. He’s probably going to blush as hard as you are right now and spend the rest of the night in his room, avoiding you.”

Rolling your eyes, you reply, “No he won’t.”

“Uh, yeah, he will.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes! He’s still in love with you! Of course he’s gonna go crazy!”

“He’s what?” You’re in disbelief, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. It’s hard to believe that Kageyama would love any part of you after you left when he announced his move to Tokyo and his future plans. 

Miwa puts her hand on your shoulder, looking you in the eyes. “He still loves you, y/n. He never stopped.”

“How is that even possible? I left him.”

“Oh, babe.” She leads you to sit on the edge of her bed as you wipe your eyes. “He never blamed you for that, not once. He knew that you weren’t going to be able to be with him when he told you. He’s kept an eye on you for the past four years because he can’t let you go. I kept telling him that he couldn’t keep it up forever, but then you were in the club that night, and I swear, it was fate. Y’know,” she chuckles lightly, “that night, after he saw you, he came straight up here and sat on the couch for hours, staring out the window. When I finally finished my shift and came up, he was crying. You can’t tell anyone though, because he’s supposed to be this big bad guy and all,” she waves her hand, “but that was the most emotional I’ve seen him in years.”

“Really?” Your voice breaks when you speak, and your tears haven’t stopped. 

“Yes. He’s always loved you, and although the circumstances aren’t ideal, I think it’s wonderful that you’re back in his life again.”

You nod. “I missed him, and I still love him, but I don’t know if I can be with him. This is all still so unfamiliar to me, and it’s scary. I have to figure out if it’s worth it.”

Miwa rubs small circles on your back. “I know. Take as much time as you need. I’m just glad you’re here, and I know Tobio is too.”

---

After the emotional rollercoaster in Miwa’s bedroom, you two went downstairs to the living area, ordering takeout and putting on face masks. You lounged on the couch, eating ramen and watching k-dramas until late in the evening. You didn’t ask when Kageyama would be home; you simply enjoyed your time with Miwa. It was nice, spending time with someone that you once considered a sister. You were thrilled that you could hopefully regain that relationship with her. 

At around eleven, the elevator dings, signaling someone’s arrival. 

Your jaw drops as Kageyama Tobio stumbles into the penthouse, one hand clutching his bleeding chest, as he passes out in the foyer.

taglist: @lilith412426​ 

[scumbagg]

Clemens Point

Ruby x Charles, Death Squad and VDL.

Warnings: the F word, injury.

Thanks once again to the writing queen @verai-marcel​ and the photoshop queen @theunholyoutlaw​ for the Ruby & Charles pic ❤❤

“Mr Smith, the stew is ready if you’d like to grab a bowl.”

“Thank you, Ms Grimshaw.”

“Anything new?”

“No, she hasn’t woken yet. I’ll find you when she does.”

Ruby stirs at the voices close by. She opens her eyes to blinding light and looks around, realising she’s laying in a cot inside a covered tent. More voices can be heard outside, and somewhere nearby a dog barks as a child laughs.

Ruby looks around and sees Charles Smith sitting in a chair by the entrance to the tent. He’s facing away from her, watching the back of an old woman walk away. Ruby tries to sit up, and immediately regrets it; the pain coming from her left ribcage is unbearable and she groans in agony, flopping back down on the bed. Gasping, she rips the covers from her to look down at her side. The left side of her abdomen is covered with bandages. She’s about to rip the bandage off when two big strong hands grab her wrists and pin them down to her sides.

“You… probably don’t wanna do that.” Ruby looks up into a pair of warm brown eyes. Charles is still holding her wrists down, but loosens his grip when she stops struggling. “Glad to see you’re awake and lively, though.” He chuckles at her frustration.

“Where am I and how did I get here?” Ruby looks around once more. She can smell water nearby, but it doesn’t smell like the river or the swamps.

“Clemens Point, just west of Rhodes.” Charles answers simply. “Arthur and I brought you back here after one of those men shot you,” he says, nodding at her bandaged ribcage. “The bullet went straight through, luckily.”

“Why’d you have to get involved?” Ruby demands. “I had it covered! I could’ve handled it myself… without getting injured.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that. But you definitely would’ve caused some damage, and I think you’d rather not set your business on fire along with half the town.” Charles frowns. “You thirsty?” He asks suddenly.

Ruby realises her throat feels dryer than New Austin, and nods. Charles immediately gets up and heads out of the tent. Ruby watches him leave, frowning at his back. “She’s awake.” She hears him tell someone out of view.

Footsteps approach hurriedly, and Stevie and Kira come into view. Ruby gasps.

“Stevie? Kira? What are you two doing here?”

“I was on guard duty when Arthur and Charles brought you in,” Kira answers. “This is the Van Der Linde Gang.”

It’s as if a light flicks on in Ruby’s brain. “Oh! Of course! Javier and John were in the saloon the day the Lemoyne Raiders shot the place up trying to get to me. I didn’t realise it was them, though. I only heard him,” she nods in Charles’ direction, “shouting their names. Which also makes sense as to why you’re here.” She smirks at Stevie.

Stevie smiles slyly. “Yes, I was here for John, obviously. Kira came and got me as soon as you arrived here yesterday. But speaking of him-” She also nods her head towards the tent flaps. “He hasn’t left-”

“Wait-” Ruby cuts her off. “Did you say I arrived here yesterday?! I’ve been out of it for a whole day?!”

“Well…” Kira pulls out her gold pocket watch. “A day and a half, actually. You were bleeding pretty badly when they brought you back. Some of the gang members fixed you up, and you’d do well to leave that bandage on.” She adds, watching Ruby’s hand subconsciously move to her bandaged ribcage.

“Hey,” Stevie asks suddenly. “You thirsty?”

Ruby frowns. “Why do people keep asking me that? And yes I am, but Mr Smith went to get me something, I think..” She trails off, looking out the tent past Stevie and Kira.

The two women by the bed exchange a look that doesn’t go unnoticed by Ruby.

“What is it?” She demands.

“I’m surprised he left you,” Stevie smirks. “This is the longest he’s been away from your side since you arrived.”

Ruby narrows her eyes. “You make that sound like a good thing.”

“Actually, Ruby,” Kira quips. “It ain’t a bad thing.” She looks at Ruby warmly. “I haven’t spent much time around him, but Charles seems like a pretty decent guy. He pulls more than his fair share around camp, and Arthur seems to trust him, so I do too. Sometimes I trust Arthur’s judgement more than Javier’s.” She rolls her eyes.

“Yes,” adds Stevie. “I’ve only ever heard good things from John about him, and John don’t like just anybody.”

Ruby sighs. The movement of her ribcage expanding sends shooting pains across her whole abdomen and her face contorts in a pained grimace. Kira and Stevie immediately move over her, Stevie pinning Ruby’s arms back as her hands make their way to her wound once more.

“Fucking Lemoyne Raiders,” Ruby gasps, attempting to get up. “I’m going to fucking.. kill.. every last one of them.”

“Not in this state, you’re not,” says Kira firmly, pushing Ruby back down onto the bed. Even in her weak state, Ruby is unsurprised at Kira’s strength; as petite as she was, Ruby had seen Kira throw grown men to the ground before.

Ruby groans defeatedly. “Wait ‘til I find those bastards’ location,” she growls. “There’ll be no such thing as the Lemoyne Raiders once I’m finished with them.”

“And we’ll be right there with you,” says Stevie. “But for now, you need to get your strength back.”

Ruby looks up at her two friends, trying to find the words to thank them, but at that moment Charles re-enters the tent holding a bowl of stew and a bottle of beer.

“So, all I could find was beer, but I did bring you some stew. The camp cook, Pearson, ain’t the best cook, but it’s… edible.” Charles shrugs.

Ruby thanks Charles, attempting to sit up but struggling. Kira and Stevie scoot back and share a knowing look as Charles hurriedly sets the bottle and bowl next to the bed before placing a hand under her back.

“Need a hand?” he asks.

“Sure, thanks,” says Ruby grudgingly, annoyed at having to accept the help. She carefully wraps her arm around his shoulders as he places his other hand under her knees, gingerly shifting her so she is sitting up in bed. As he hands her the bowl of stew, Kira stands up.

“Well, I’ve gotta get back to guard duty. Stevie, you should find Roxy and let her know Ruby’s fine.” She looks at Stevie pointedly, and nods towards Ruby and Charles, raising her eyebrows before exiting. Stevie stands immediately, taking the hint.

“I’ll see what I can find out about the Raiders. I know Roxy had some trouble with them a while back.. I’m sure she’ll be eager to help. We’ll come check on you tomorrow.” She glances at Charles one last time as she leaves.

Ruby chuckles to herself at her friends’ subtleness, ignoring the pain in her side. Charles doesn’t seem to pick up on the exchange and sits down in the chair facing the bed.

“So what do you think?” Charles asks, nodding at the bowl of stew in Ruby’s hand.

“Did he.. empty a whole sack of salt into this?” She looks at the stew sceptically.

Charles chuckles. “Oh - ” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a strip of green. “Add some oregano, it’ll help with the flavour, at least.”

Ruby takes the herb gratefully. “Thank you,” she says, mixing it into her stew and spooning it into her mouth. The oregano made the stew almost nice.

Charles watches her eat with a curious expression.

“What, never seen a girl eat before?” Ruby asks irritably.

“What happened there?” He uses his own hand to gesture towards his eye, indicating Ruby’s scar that ran straight down her left eyebrow and over her cheek. Ruby places the bowl down on the bed and ducks her head so it was out of his view, something she had come to subconsciously do after all the years of shame from it.

“Don’t look at it,” she mumbles. “Please,” she adds, her eyes lifting to meet his. Charles’ hand gently lifts her chin so her gaze is level with his.

“You still look beautiful,” he says quietly, his eyes boring into hers. 

Ruby scoffs.

“A beautiful badass?” he amends, giving her a sheepish smile. .

“Much better,” Ruby says indignantly, returning to her stew. “I’ll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours.” She nods, using her eyebrows to indicate towards the slash running across his right cheek and ending at the corner of his mouth.

Charles chuckles darkly, a sound that seems to come from deep within his chest. “I don’t want to send you running for the mountains. Maybe one day,” he says, standing up. “But for now, you need to heal. Unfortunately, you are going to have another scar under those bandages, but it just makes you even scarier.” He smiles as he heads out of the tent.

Ruby hears the question under it all: maybe one day… did that mean he intended to stay around? Suddenly, she remembers something.

“Hey – Charles! Bones?”

“What?” He turns, a puzzled look on his face.

“My horse.”

“Oh, right. He’s fine – he’s out with the other horses, being taken care of. Funny, actually. We didn’t even have to lead him back with us, he just followed along behind us the whole way here.”

The sun is beginning to set over the campsite, reflecting a bright yellow glow from the water over the camp as Charles walks away towards the water. Ruby watches him, wondering who this handsome stranger was and why he was being so kind to her.

  Ruby remains in Clemens Point for a few more days until she is strong enough to leave. The morning after, she woke to the smell of coffee and looked around to find a cup beside her bed along with a fresh set of clothes. Stevie came back daily to check on her (although Ruby suspected she also had ulterior motives for coming to camp), and she and Kira helped her change her clothes and bandage. Her wound from the gunshot had healed nicely in just under two days and by the end of the third, Ruby was able to sit up without the assistance of Charles, who had brought her stew every afternoon and even helped her hobble out to sit around the campfire on her third night.

The sun is setting once more on Ruby’s fourth day in Clemens Point. Just as Kira and Stevie are finishing up, Arthur Morgan comes into the tent, calling out loudly to make sure Ruby was decent.

“Mr Morgan,” smiles Ruby politely. “I never got a chance to thank you for helping me out the other day. I would say if it weren’t for you and Mr Smith, I wouldn’t have made it out of there alive, but…” she trails off, her lips pulled back in a taut smile and her eyes hard.

“I know, I know. You had it covered. Charles already told me about how you think you were gonna escape from four on one” Arthur waves her off. “Actually, I’ve got some news and I’m sure you wanna hear it. It’s about them Lemoyne Raiders.”

Arthur tells Ruby, Stevie and Kira about how he and Lenny found where the Lemoyne Raiders were camped out in an old estate house outside Saint Denis.

“Shady Belle? I know the place,” Ruby says. “Wasn’t aware it had any inhabitants.” She looks at the other two young women expectantly, leaning forward.

“We’ll scope it out,” says Kira. “Stevie and I will collect Roxy tonight and report back.”

“Okay, but-”

“We won’t hit it without you, Ruby. This is your payback,” says Stevie. “If you’re ready, we’ll do it tomorrow night.”

Ruby sighs and leans back against the wall of the tent. “I appreciate that. Thank you.” She looks at Arthur. “Looks as though my stay is almost up.” Ruby stretches her arms, showing how much her injury is allowing her to move.

Arthur chuckles. “Well, I know of at least one person who won’t be thrilled about that news.”

Ruby rolls her eyes, but they land on Charles, who’s sitting at a table across camp sharpening some arrowheads. As if she called his name, Charles looks up and meets Ruby’s gaze. His lips pull up into a small smile and he stands up and makes his way over to the small gathering in the tent.

“Well, Hosea mentioned something about wanting to find some ancient Braithwaite gold, so I’m gonna try ‘n’ find a lead on that,” says Arthur. “Take care, Miss Cortez.”  He nods at Stevie and Kira and claps a hand on Charles’ shoulder on his way out.

“Yes, Javier said he wanted to try out a new fishing spot that’s great for fishing at dusk, so I best go get ready. See you tomorrow, Stevie,” Kira says as she follows Arthur.

“Alright, well. I guess that’s my cue to leave too. I’ll be back to collect you tomorrow, Rubes.” With a final glance back at Ruby and Charles, Stevie leaves.

“Hey,” Ruby smiles up at Charles.

“You wanna join me for a drink by the fire?” Charles asks.

“Sure,” she says, getting up. Charles moves forwards to help her stand up, but Ruby holds her hands out to stop him. Charles gives a wry chuckle at her stubbornness but stands back. Ruby grits her teeth but manages to stand up surprisingly quicker than she had been able to earlier that day.

“You know, it’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help,” Charles says, offering his arm for stability as they exit the tent.

“It is, and I don’t need help anyway,” says Ruby, swatting his arm away and hobbling towards the campfire.

Charles grabs two bottles of beer from a crate on a nearby table and the two of them find a seat on a log by the fire. An older man who had introduced himself on Ruby’s second day in camp as Hosea was telling a story to a few other members of camp. Ruby and Charles both sat and listened, drinking as the night grew heavier and cooler air began to set in.

At some point in the night, during her fourth bottle of beer, Ruby realised her head was spinning and her eyes began to droop. Charles had ducked off for a bathroom break and to grab more beer, leaving Ruby sitting by the fire by herself, listening to an old man everyone referred to as “Uncle” playing a harmonica.

“Heeeey pretty lady.” A young woman with short blonde curly hair and freckles splattered across her nose sways up to her and plonks herself down on the log next to Ruby. “You’re the moonshiner Charles keeps going on about, right?” She looks at Ruby through half shut eyes and smiles. “I’m Karen,” She holds out her hand.

“Hi, Karen, I’m Ruby,” Ruby says, shaking her hand. “I’ve seen you around camp while I was stuck in bed.” Ruby giggles drunkenly. “Wait – what do you mean ‘going on about me’? I’ve only met the man once before,” she says, bewildered.

“Exactly!” Karen laughs. “For a man of few words, let me tell you, I’ve heard a few times now about how you shot up the Rhodes saloon, killed a bunch of these ‘Lemoyne Raiders’, then jumped off a balcony onto your horse!”

“When you put it like that, it makes it sound so much more badass. But really, it was nothing,” laughs Ruby, waving her off.

Karen sighs. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Ruby. And believe me when I say that at some point, us girls here have wished he would look at us that way.”

Ruby tries to think of something to say, but the alcohol clouds her brain and her mouth feels dry. As if on cue, a gangly red-headed man with missing teeth swaggers by, telling her he found something “really interesting behind a tree just outside of camp if she wanted to check it out”, adding a wink. Karen giggles and follows him, wishing Ruby good night as she leaves.

Ruby watches the pair leave, and spots Charles heading back to the fire with two more bottles of beer. He sits down in the seat Karen had occupied a moment before, handing Ruby a bottle.

“So,” says Charles. “You’re leaving tomorrow. Are you sure you’re healed enough?”

“Of course I am,” says Ruby, jumping up from the log and doing a small jog on the spot. “If I weren’t healed could I do this?” She lifts her arms above her head and turns in a small pirouette, but her stitches pull slightly and she collapses back on the log, laughing.

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Charles laughs as he catches her, but his expression turns sombre.

“What is it?” Ruby asks

Charles sighs. “I just.. I guess I’m worried I won’t see you again,” he says quietly, looking down.

Ruby looks at him thoughtfully. A combination of alcohol, tiredness and humidity are turning her brain fuzzy, and her hand finds its way under Charles’ chin, tilting it up so his eyes meet her own.

“I know where to find you,” she murmurs, leaning forward. “You’ll see me again.”

Charles closes the distance between them, his lips meeting hers as his hand cups her cheek gently. Ruby leans closer towards him and Charles’ other hand finds her waist when a hooting laugh carries across the fire. Ruby pulls away and looks over to see Uncle watching them joyfully.

“Yes! I knew you’d do it Charles, I told John you’d do it! He doubted you’d make a move but I had faith in ya! Where is that greasy bastard, I gotta go get my money..” The old man gets up and hobbles away, muttering about ‘bets’ and ‘making moves’.

“Did they.. did they bet money on us?” Ruby asks incredulously.

“I think so?” Charles laughs.

“Well, on that note, I think I’m going to bed. I don’t think it would have been much longer ‘til you had to carry me there anyway.” She stands up.

“It wouldn’t be the first time I carried you to bed,” Charles chuckles. He stoops down and sweeps Ruby up into his arms. “And hopefully it won’t be the last.”

Ruby wraps an arm around his shoulders as he carries her back to the tent. Charles lays her down gently on the cot before leaning in to kiss her lips again, deeper this time, before pulling away.

“Good night, Ruby,” he murmurs, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Good night, Charles,” Ruby smiles, sleep already taking her over.

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

When You Least Expect It, Part Twelve

Jensen x Musician!Reader

Masterlist - Contains Chapter Links & Wardrobe Collages

A/N: This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all. Part twelve has parts from Both POVs; though primarily the reader. There is also a playlist to go along with the series.

Spotify Playlist: Songs in this chapter - "Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” [youtube link] cover by Kina Grannis  

Chapter Summary: An acoustic performance at the Brewery to help publicize Brewfest takes a turn, causing Y/N to make a big change in her future plans.

Chapter Warnings: Language, mild violence, mentions of abuse, anxiety

WC: 10.4K **with lyrics. Lyrics NOT written by me in bold, italic.

Beta’d by @closetspngirl

*Banner created by me; pics & gifs found online. Tags are open if you want on, or wanna hop off.

Jensen felt the warmth of the sun touch his skin before his eyes opened. He was dreaming and didn’t want it to end, despite how he knew it would feel to stretch and let his body wake up. The images were fading from his mind’s eye, and he could feel the disappointment begin to set in. The dream was too good to let slip away. 

He dreamt he was laying in bed with Y/N. They had spent the night making love, talking in whispers and finding ways to make the other feel inexplicably wanted and loved. It was everything he’d needed from her since he first kissed her on New Year’s Eve. 

Movement on the bed beside him was the last step in getting him to open his eyes, and when he finally looked to his right, she was there. It wasn’t just a dream after all. Her hair was free of its usual messy bun and was splayed across her pillow. Jensen rolled over and propped himself up on one elbow, then leaned forward leaving a soft kiss on her bare shoulder that peeked out from the sheets. Her skin still smelled like suntan lotion and coconut, and he kissed her again. 

Jensen slipped his hand beneath the sheets and along the length of her body. Flashes from the night before passed through his mind, and he continued kissing the back of her neck as his fingers explored the lines of her body. His arm slowly wrapped around her stomach and gently pulled her back against him. Y/N was beginning to stir. She elongated her neck and hummed as his lips trailed soft, wanting kisses to her ear. 

“Morning,” he rumbled against her ear, just as his hand glided up her abdomen towards her breasts. 

“Morning,” she breathed and let herself gently fall back into him. 

“Sleep well?”

“No,” she giggled and rolled over, so she could see his face. “I don’t believe much sleep happened.”

“Regrets?” he asked softly, brushing away the hair from her face so he could fully appreciate her (y/c) eyes. 

“Only that I waited so long.” She withdrew her gaze and cast them do the small bit of space between them. “I’m sorry, Jensen. I don’t know what I was so scared of.”

“Hey,” he rasped, gently taking her chin and directing her eyes back to his. “Don’t do that. We’re together now, right? That’s what matters. Not how long it took to get here, just that we got here.”

“Are we? Together, I mean?”

“It’s what I want. There’s no one else for me, Y/N.” Jensen was nervous, and even she could hear the barely-there quiver in his voice when he spoke her name. 

Y/N propped herself up and leaned over, hovering above him now, her hair falling down and tickling his cheeks. “You sure you’re up for that? I can be a handful.”

“Good thing I got two hands,” he teased, the crinkles around his eyes deep and the peek-a-boo dimples formed at either side of his wide smile. 

Y/N rolled her eyes and hung her head to his chest. “I hate you,” she laughed and kissed him there. “So much.”

“I guess then, it’s also a good thing that you love me, too. Or I’d be in trouble.”

“Nope, I take it back,” she said, trying to be serious and pulling away from him. “I take it all back. You’re insufferable, Jensen. What was I thinking?”

Jensen grabbed her and turned quickly, making Y/N land on her back as he straddled her legs, pinning her down and dove his mouth to her neck. In less than a second, he was lavishing her neck with attention as her body began to slowly move beneath him.

“See, you don’t play fair, either,” she mewed, rolling her neck to the side so he could have more of her. 

“Never said I did,” he mumbled lowly. “Now what were you saying about taking it back…” his voice was muffled in the crook of her neck, and he felt himself growing hard again at simply the thought of being with her.

From somewhere in the tangle of clothes on the floor, a cell phone began ringing. Jensen growled and picked his head up from her neck. 

“Dammit.” He rolled off her and got up from the bed to locate the intrusion. 

Y/N sat up and watched as he moved around the room, completely naked. “I could get used to this view, ya know.”

He stopped looking for a moment and stared at her with that familiar deadpan gaze. “Seriously? Am I just a good time to you?”

“And then some…” she wiggled her eyebrows and winked playfully, breaking his expression and making him laugh. “Screw the phone, come back to bed.”

“I will. But I know this is Jared. I gotta--” he found his shorts from the night before and retrieved the phone from the pocket. “Hey,” he said swiping up to answer the call. “What’s up?”

“Dude, what the hell? Where did you disappear too?”

“Oh.. yeah. Sorry. Something came up and, uhhh…” Jensen stammered, unsure of how to proceed with telling his best friend he finally got to spend the night with the woman he loved while she was right there in the room.

“Something? Sex? Was it sex, Jensen?” Jared asked, and Jensen could hear the underlying tone of playful accusation. 

“Maybe.”

“I kinda figured,” Jared laughed. “No way you’d leave before the pig roast was ready unless Y/N was involved. You left a ton of shit behind on the boat and took off with one of the rentals. You must have been seriously distracted.”

“Dude,” Jensen chuckled and turned away from her to walk towards the bathroom. “You have no idea.”

“Alright Romeo, I don’t need details. Anyway… get your shit together and be ready in two hours. I’m swinging by to grab you so we can head to the airport. I had the valet company bring your truck back and take the rental with them. Just remember to bring the spare keys so I can drop them off, ok?”

“Yeah, sure. No problem… Wait. Two hours? I thought we didn’t go back ‘til later?”

“Change of plans, brother. Maybe if you didn’t have your head buried elsewhere you would have seen the five text messages I sent you about it this morning.”

“I hate you,” Jensen groaned and pulled the phone away to see all his missed notifications. “Fine, two hours. I’ll be ready.”

“Good. And, please shower. I don’t want to sit on a six-hour trip to Vancouver while you smell like sex.”

“Goodbye, Jared.” Jensen hung up the phone and tossed it back on the floor with the rest of the clothes. 

“Jared busting your chops?” she asked as Jensen crawled back into bed. 

“When isn’t he?” He laid back down and Y/N immediately laid beside him, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder. Jensen wrapped an arm around her and drew her closer. “I do have to get ready to go soon though. And while the last thing I want to do is spoil this morning… we gotta talk about you staying here. Y/N, please, reconsider--”

“I’ll stay,” she said softly, then turned her face up to his. “I’m sorry I gave you a hard time. I was so scared of staying because we hadn’t slept together. Then I panicked and worried about what it would mean if we did…”

“Thank God,” he chuckled softly, running his free hand over his face and sighing deeply. “I didn’t want to fight, but I was prepared to come out swingin’ if it meant you’d agree to just stay here.”

“Here is good. I’ll stay through the festival and then we can figure out what comes next. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect,” he said and left a loving kiss on her head. “One more question and then I promise, I’ll let it go.”

“Oh boy… what?”

“What are the chances you changed your mind about San Diego, too?”

It was Y/N’s turn to sigh. “Jay… I can’t. In fact, I have to meet with Robbie at some point today or tomorrow about the publicity performance at the brewery this week. I think it's Thursday, which is your first day out there, right? I have to be at the brewery. Rob and Bri are singing. I am filming, mingling, promoting…”

“You work too much.”

“Look who’s talking…”

They held each other’s gaze stubbornly for a moment and Jensen finally relented. “Okay, okay. You made your point. But, I reserve the right to whisk you away at some point and you can’t say no. Deal?”

“I’ll take that deal,” she said and pushed herself up on the bed, to full sitting position.

“Whoa, no, wait. Where are you going?” 

“To shower. Then I’ll go make you breakfast so you can shower and be ready for Jared.”

“First off, shower together, it conserves water. Secondly, you’re gonna cook? For me? Can you cook?”

“Yes, I can cook. Pretty damn well, actually. Also, not showering with you, because we’ll never get out of there and you have to leave soon.”

“We could forget the breakfast, and just go shower. Huh? Right? Way better plan,” Jensen said, trying to pull her back to lay down. 

“Easy, Hollywood,” she purred and let him draw her back in. “I promise you, we will have our chance to make up for all the nights we weren’t together.”

“Swear?” he asked, a touch of some distant concern twinkled in his eyes, but she dismissed it.

Nodding softly, she leaned in and kissed him delicately on the lips. “Scout’s honor.”

An hour later, Y/N was in the kitchen, scrambling up some eggs and toast, with a fresh pot of coffee waiting for Jensen when he emerged from his shower. When he entered the room he was struck by the differing aromas, shocked at how fragrant the kitchen had become.

“Well aren’t you just full of surprises,” Jensen said as he dropped his duffle bag to the floor and tossed the keys on the counter. “Whatcha makin’?”

“Eggs with peppers and onions, rye toast and there’s fresh coffee over there for you,” Y/N replied without turning from the stove. 

Jensen went to go get a mug for his coffee but stopped just a moment to watch her move around the kitchen and admire how good she looked. She was wearing one of his dress shirts, sleeves rolled up and only loosely buttoned; her hair damp from the shower and her face completely natural. Fighting the urge to distract her from cooking, he continued on with getting his coffee and asked if she wanted a cup as well. 

“Yes, please. Give me all the coffee,” she laughed then flashed him a rueful smile over her shoulder. “Someone kept me up late last night.”

“Well, not much going on today, right? Maybe you can take a day to just sleep, relax. Catch up on some Netflix?”

“Maybe,” she shrugged and turned off the heat on the eggs, plated them, along with the toast and slid it across the counter. “Your breakfast, sir.”

“Whoa.” Jensen pulled the plate closer and grabbed the fork beside it, taking a bite of the eggs and closing his eyes. “Mmmm…” he hummed and swallowed the food. “Baby, these are good.”

“Baby, hm? That’s new.” Y/N mused and turned away, casually strolling to the refrigerator to get the cream for her coffee. 

“Don’t like that one?” Jensen asked, taking another bite of his eggs. 

“Didn’t say that, just… different.”

Jensen’s face slipped into a sly, teasing grin as he leaned forward on his elbows on the counter. “I’ll call you whatever you want me to--” 

“Oh God, don’t say it!” Y/N brought her hand to her face in resignation of what she knew was coming. 

“--as long as I can call you mine,” Jensen continued, giving her a big, exaggerated wink. 

“You are so insufferable…” she poured the cream in her coffee and playfully rolled her eyes. Y/N didn’t get a chance to stir it before Jensen was approaching her, hands on her hips and walking her back to the refrigerator. 

“I’m the fucking worst,” he rasped and pulled her hips closer to him, before bending down and kissing her. 

Y/N slipped her arms up around his neck and kissed him back with purpose. Jensen’s hands slid from her hips, around to her ass and gently lifted her up, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist. He carried her, without breaking their kiss, to the living room and fell backward onto the couch so he was sitting and she was straddling his lap. His kiss deepened on her and through muffled smacks of lips and short breaths of air, she pulled back just enough to speak

“Your breakfast is getting cold,” she laughed and kissed him again. 

“Don’t care.” His fingers dug deeper into her thighs.

She giggled at the feeling of his fingertips ghosting her skin up and under the shirt she wore. “Jared will be here soon.”

“Don’t care. He can wait,” he mumbled, then resumed the business at hand. His hands found their way to her breasts and she couldn’t resist the soft moan that fell from her lips.

“Jay…” she breathed, fighting the urge to take it further. “Unfair…”

“Ok, ok…” he relented and allowed Y/N to sit back as he slowly and regrettably pulled his hands from her shirt. “I’m sorry. It’s just… now that we are here,” he gestured vaguely at their current position, “I just wanna stay here. Hard to walk away from this when it's all I’ve wanted for a really long time now.”

Y/N’s expression softened, and a small, satisfied smirk pulled up the corner of her mouth. “How long?”

Jensen considered it for a moment, running his palms roughly, yet slowly up and down her bare thighs. “Since before New Years, at least. You’re hard to shake, you know.”

She wanted to come back with some smart ass quip, but the way he was looking at her at that moment, she couldn’t. He was wearing too much emotion in that expression for her to be anything other than genuine. 

“Thank you for being patient with me, Jay. For giving me the time to be brave enough to trust someone again.”

Y/N softly caressed his cheek, giving him one last longing kiss on the lips before climbing off his lap. She held out her hand for him to take, and helped pull him up off the couch. 

“Now, please go finish your breakfast that I slaved over. Worked my fingers to the bone…” she whined playfully, unable to hold back the impish smile as he rolled his eyes at her. 

“Now who’s insufferable?” 

“Oh me! Is it me?” she asked sarcastically, followed by a big smile. 

Jensen ignored her and went back to his breakfast, which was still warm and delicious. He finished it quickly, along with his coffee, and was about to help Y/N start to clean up when they heard a knock at the front door, then the distinct creak of it opening and Jared’s voice echoed through the entryway, 

“Hello? Everybody decent?!”

“No! I’m cooking naked in the kitchen. Want some eggs?” she called back, making Jensen snicker and Jared’s face flushed red as he rounded the corner and came into the room.

“Hilarious,” Jared replied, when he saw her wearing only the shirt, he quickly looked away and stammered. “Ho--how’s it going Y/N?” 

“Great, thanks,” she chuckled. “And now that you’re here, I should probably go get dressed for real before you whisk him away. Be right back.” 

Y/N paused as she went by Jensen and kissed him, their gazes locked with the other and let it linger for a moment before she continued on. Once she was gone upstairs, Jared came fully into the kitchen and grabbed a mug, fixing himself a cup of coffee. He sipped at the hot, dark brew, carefully eyeing his best friend over the lip of the mug. 

“So?”

“So, what?” Jensen replied, feigning ignorance. 

“This is for real now?” Jared asked and motioned towards the stairs with his chin. “You and Y/N. No more pinning? No more excuses? You're finally together?”

Jensen was thoughtful for a moment as he reflected on the morning he spent in bed with her. “Yeah, we are,” he said, unable to hide his satisfied grin.

“I’m happy for you, man. Really. I’m glad things are working out. After Dee, then that break-in at Y/N’s place, I thought maybe you would throw in the towel. Too much trouble and all that.”

“Dude, I couldn’t if I wanted too. I am completely, and utterly hooked on this girl, and I wouldn’t care what it took to get to where we are.”

“Damn, Jay. I knew you had a thing for her, but I didn’t realize it went that deep. I’m honestly happy for you both. I like Y/N. She’s good for you.” 

“She is. I think we’re good for each other. Just feels good to finally know, for sure, that she’s just as invested as I am.”

“And you’re sure of that?” Jared asked cautiously, not wanting to rile Jensen up, but he needed to make sure his friend was certain he was giving his heart to someone who would treat it right this time.

“Yeah, Jar. I’m sure.”

Jared was thoughtful for a moment and shrugged. “Then I’m over the moon for you.” He raised his coffee cup in a salute and took a long sip. 

A moment later, Y/N came bouncing down the steps, fully dressed in a pair of ripped jean shorts, her favorite Zeppelin t-shirt and a pair of black converse. Her hair was piled on her head in her signature messy bun, and though very little effort was put into her appearance, Jensen couldn’t take his eyes off her. Jared watched Jensen watching her, and it struck him just how deep his best friend had really fallen. 

“So, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we gotta get going, Jay,” Jared said, leaving the mug in the sink and passing an apologetic smile to Y/N.

Jensen checked his watch and sighed. “Shit, yeah, I guess we do.”

“I’ll grab your bag and take it out. Just don’t take forever saying goodbye to your girlfriend, okay?” He rolled his eyes sarcastically, emphasizing a disgusted sigh as he picked up Jensen’s bag, then threw Y/N a little wink. 

“Love you too, Jared,” she called after him as he exited through the front door. Y/N looked back to Jensen as she slowly approached him, fortifying herself to say goodbye. Wanting to keep it light, she smiled and chuckled. “Girlfriend, huh? Does that mean I have the best friend’s approval?”

“It does,” he grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You alright with that? Girlfriend?”

“More than okay. All joking aside, somehow knowing where things stand with us, makes your leaving a little easier.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. Still going to miss you like crazy, but I am very much looking forward to when you come home again. Which is when, by the way?”

Jensen considered her question and scrunched his face in disappointment. “Three weeks. At least.”

“Wow, okay. Three weeks it is. Call me when you get in, later?”

“Of course,” he said and leaned in for a kiss and just before their lips touched, from outside, the car horn blew. 

“I guess that’s your cue,” she teased and kissed him again quickly. “Ok, go before I don’t let you leave.” She wiggled from his grasp and pushed him towards the door. 

“Wait,” he said, turning and planting his feet. “Promise me you will be careful, cautious and not go anywhere alone at night. And! Before you object… remember you love me and you want to make me happy? Doing this will make me happy.”

Y/N couldn’t resist his request. “Whatever you want, Hollywood. I promise it.”

“Good. Thank you. I’ll call you later,” he said and opened the front door, feeling the blast of the late morning heat. “I love you, Y/N.”

“Love you too, Jay,” she replied, trying to sound casual but actually vibrating inside from the open admission of feelings. 

She stood at the door and waved to Jared as Jensen made his way to the car and slowly got in. As they drove away, Y/N cautiously looked around outside to see if anyone was watching, then closed the door and went to clean up the kitchen.

Another blazing hot July day in Texas, but Y/N barely registered the heat as she parked and exited Jensen’s truck in the parking lot of Cuppa. Unknowingly having picked the same place Jensen met Dee the month before, Y/N ventured inside to find Bri waiting for her at a corner table.

“What? Not up for an outside seat?” Y/N teased as she approached the table and opened her arms to embrace a smiling Briana. 

“Are you insane? It’s hotter than Satan’s taint out there, lady. This is an inside kinda day. I will not waste the blessing of air conditioning just for a pretty view.” Bri shook her head and went to embrace Y/N. “Now sit your ass down and start talking. You have some nerve, you know.”

Y/N’s head snapped up in surprise, her finger pointing to her chest. “Me? What did I do?”

“It’s what you didn’t do! You disappear like a fart in the wind from Jared’s party, and I don’t hear boo from you until late last night confirming lunch today! What happened, where did you go? I need details.”

“Oh,” she said, her eyes lowering to the table and her cheeks warm with the memories of leaving the party with Jensen. “That.”

“‘Ooohh, that,’ she says… I swear to God, Y/N. You best start talkin’.” Briana flashed her an admonishing expression. Y/N knew when Bri wore her serious face she better start talking and not keep her in suspense any longer.  

“Okay, okay… I’m sorry. I got wrapped up in things and just--” she trailed off, and felt her expression softened Bri had been there since the start of things with Jensen and she realized how badly she really did want to tell someone about what finally happened between them. “After the bonfire, I told him I loved him and asked him to take me home,” she said, letting it come tumbling out in one long breath

“You did!?” Bri’s whole face ignited in a smile, her hands clasped in front of her face, covering her mouth to try and hold back her excitement. “For reals?”

Y/N threw her head back and laughed heartily, genuinely touched by Bri’s reaction. “Yes. I told him and we’re together now, for reals.”

Bri jumped up from her seat and pounced on Y/N, squeezing her excitedly and releasing her just as quickly than sitting back down. She exhaled a deep breath and then leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table, catching Y/N’s gaze and smiling softly.

“How was it? It was good, wasn’t it?”

“Bri!” Y/N laughed and rolled her eyes. “Come on.”

“No. No. You can’t do that. Because you have experienced something that we mere mortals only fantasize about and as one of your closest friends, I demand at least a few details.”

“Ok, fine. I don’t even know where to start… it was amazing. From beginning to end. He’s sweet and generous. And--”

“Aw, talking about me again?” Robbie crooned sweetly, as he approached the table. “It’s okay, keep talking. I love to hear the things you say about me when I’m not around.” Y/N and Bri couldn’t hold back their laughter, as Robbie took a place at the table. “What? I say something funny?”

“No, Robbie, we weren’t talking about you… but you know you’re all those things too, puddin’,” Bri teased him and pinched his beard between her fingers. “Glad you could join us.”

“Yeah, me too,” he sighed, slightly exasperated and sweaty from the day. “Wasn’t sure if I could or not. In fact, the thing on Thursday, I may have to back out. Something you could handle on your own if you needed too, Bri?”

“I mean, yeah, but I wouldn’t have too. Y/N can join me. Right? Would you be down for that?”

“Well, I--”

Y/N was cut off by the server coming to the table and taking their order. Once she collected everyone’s choices and went back towards the kitchen, Y/N continued. 

“I was planning on doing a lot of the PR stuff. Filming, live streams, talking to people about Brewfest. There are going to be a few people there with connections to big-name businesses here in Austin. I was really hoping to get a chance to pitch some things to them.”

“Those are the ones we need to take a few more of these sponsorships,” Robbie added. “But, we can figure this all out later. Just know, I may have to bail and head to San Diego.”

“Ok, fair enough. For now, I’ll bank on you being at the brewery by seven on Thursday, performance to start around eight-ish?”

“Yeah, let’s go with that--”

“Performance? What performance?”

A voice—a familiar voice—cut through the ambient noise of the room and Y/N immediately felt a tight coil of white-hot anger at the intrusion. She didn’t even have to look up to know that Dee was standing there, somewhere on the outskirts of the table between herself and Briana. Robbie was the first to look up and actually see her face. Y/N knew just by the change in his expression that she was right. 

“Dee, hey,” Robbie said, followed quickly by a nervous chuckle. “What brings you here?”

“I’ve been filming in Austin for the last month or so. I come here a lot when I just need a break, you know? Festival planning I take it? Brianna, haven’t seen you in forever, how are you?” 

“Oh, peachy,” Bri replied with a quick glance her way. “Yourself?”

“I’ve been busy, but otherwise great. So what’s this about a performance?”

“Thursday at the brewery, we’re hosting an acoustic show to drum up interest in the festival.”

“Oh, fun!” she exclaimed, the feigned excitement in her voice nulled out by expression that lived on her face. The tension that surrounded the small corner table was palpable. Bri could see Y/N trying not to have a reaction, and that Dee was purposely lingering in order to try and stir up trouble.

“Y/N,” Dee said finally, turning her attention to the quietest member of the group. “How are you?”

Y/N didn’t answer at first. Instead, she twisted slightly in her seat so she was looking up at Dee and smiled. “I’m great. Now that you’ve made the rounds, I think it’s best if you keep moving.”

Dee sighed heavily as if Y/N’s statement bore the weight of the world. “If this is about that phone call, I’m sorry, okay? I should never have done that--” Dee paused when she saw Y/N laugh and stand up from her seat. 

“I couldn’t care less about your unbelievably childish behavior, Dee. I actually find that quite amusing. I just can’t seem to breathe when you’re around. Something about you is so toxic, it poisons the air wherever you are. So, please. For the entire cafe’s sake, keep moving...” The last two words were soft enough that only Dee could hear, followed by a set of intense, narrowed (y/c) eyes.

Dee swallowed thickly, but the rest of her expression felt cold and somewhat calculated. She glanced at Bri and Robbie, who just sat staring at her tentatively, unsure of how she would respond. 

“Well, that felt unnecessary. I just wanted to say hello. No reason to get nasty and cause a scene,” Dee scoffed, giving Y/N a long look of silent accusations. “I honest-to-God don’t understand what Jensen sees in you.” She glanced around Y/N to address Bri and Robbie. “Good luck at the festival. Something tells me you’re gonna need it.”

Dee turned quickly on her heel and left the café in a huff. When she was no longer in sight, Y/N looked at Bri and Robbie and expelled the breath she had been holding. 

“Well, that was fun,” Y/N said as she fell into her chair with an exasperated huff. 

“Way to stand your ground, honey,” Bri chuckled. “That woman’s got a lot of nerve just stoppin’ by for a chat. After what she did?” Bri pursed her lips together, revealing her crater-like dimples and slowly shook her head. “Lots of damn, nerve.”

“I don’t know that she had anything to do with the break-in, Bri. Jensen brought her up only because of the lipstick. They’ve found nothing to indicate she was in the house. I just think she’s a troublemaker and phony as hell. I wasn’t kidding about the toxic thing. She literally just sucks the air out of the room.”

“She didn’t used to be like this though,” Robbie said, pausing when the waitress arrived and placed down everyone’s drink order. “I’ve known Dee for a lot of years. She wasn’t always this… dramatic and petty.” 

“Well, I guess losing a good man on purpose will do that to you,” Bri quipped as she fixed her coffee to her liking. “She did that on purpose, by the way. Just standing here, asking how you are. She wanted to goad you.”

“I know,” Y/N said and ran her hand through her hair, sitting back in her seat and sighing. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m just… tired. Why can’t he and I be happy without these lunatics coming out of the woodwork to spoil everything?”

“Wait, what?” Robbie interrupted and leaned forward, his face beaming under a wide smile. “What’s this ‘he and I be happy’ bit? Does that mean what I think it means?”

“Yes! They’re together!” Bri giggled and clapped her hands together, the tension from Dee’s appearance quickly dissipating into the heat of the day. “That’s what we were talking about when you got here.”

“So, it worked?” Robbie asked Bri, catching Y/N’s attention and making her sit up straighter in her chair. 

Y/N cleared her throat to interrupt their quiet celebration. “I’m sorry, what now? Explain yourself, Robert.”

“Hmmm?” he replied disingenuously. “What’s that now?”

“Don’t be cute. What worked?”

“I’m always cute. Can’t help it. It’s the beard.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and inhaled slowly trying to contain her mild frustrations, then turned to Briana. “Briana? Care to explain?” 

Then it hit her; the bonfire. She remembered how calculated it felt that the only open seat had been next to Robbie and Jensen was so perfectly placed right across the flames of the fire. “You set us up at the bonfire. You wanted me to sing, and that’s why you said what you said when you handed me the guitar.”

“Did I say something,” Rob asked, feigning ignorance. “Don’t even remember… that...” he shrugged and trailed off.

“Look, something had to push you to take that last step. Really, what did we do, but make sure you sat in a place where you could really look at each other. Cause you didn’t, ya know. You’d look at him and he’d look away and vice versa. It was exhausting. The best part, it all worked out.”

“Thank you,” Y/N said softly, giving them both a grateful smile. “I’m happy to know that you guys have our backs.”

“Always, honey,” Bri said and covered Y/N’s hand with her own and gave it a squeeze.

After the revealing news and sprinkling of vague details, Rob and Briana shifted the conversation to the songs they could play at the brewery, while Y/N made notes on her phone. As she was typing in a list of items she wanted to bring on that upcoming Thursday night, her phone began to vibrate and the notification popped up that she had a new text from Jensen.

>>Whatcha doing?

<<Having coffee with Rob and Bri.

>>Robbie behaving? Keeping his hands to himself?

<<He’s a perfect gentleman.

>>Good. You have plans tonight?

<<Why, gonna surprise me again?

>>God, I wish. No, wanted to know if you were free to FaceTime later. I miss you.

<<Name the time. I’m there.

>>9? We should be done by then.

<<I’ll be waiting…

>>Naked, I hope.

<<Perv.

“Uhhh, Y/N?” Rob asked and waved his hand in front of her face. “You still here?”

“Oh, sorry,” she chuckled nervously. “One sec.”

<<Gotta run. Robbie’s getting jealous.

>>Don’t let him rope you in with those big blue eyes. Stay strong, Trix.

Y/N tucked her phone away and felt completely content and at ease again. The earlier, brief encounter with Dee couldn’t even damper the absolute high she felt like she was riding. She was working with two amazingly talented people who she also called friends, had a man that loved her and had even found a new city that she was falling in love with and ready to call a permanent home. In that moment, life couldn’t get much better and for a minute she completely forgot about the biggest wild card of them all… Nathan Fowler.

“I knew this was going to happen,” Y/N groaned and left the hand holding the phone slip from her ear. She took three deep breaths and brought it back up to hear Robbie talking in mid-sentence.

“...really sorry, Y/N. I tried to get out of it, but I gotta go.”

“Its okay Rob, really. I’ll figure it out. I know a few guys that will be working tonight that could do the live stream stuff if I end up playing with Bri. But let me call a few of the local musicians playing the festival. They might be able to come in, and--”

“Y/N… stop. Listen to me. YOU need to get up there. The local Austin bands are fantastic, I mean them no disrespect. But this festival is more yours now, than any of ours. You deserve to get up there, promote the hell out of it, then show those people that the person behind the scenes is just as talented as the ones they will see perform over those three days. Alright?”

Y/N was quiet. Normally, she could combat these bursts of praise from Robbie with a sarcastic quip, but right then, she didn’t have it in her. Instead, she felt nervous. The last time she really performed for a crowd had been at the convention in Chicago, and having the whole band, plus Briana on stage helped quell any nerves that cropped up. The idea of just her and a guitar, in a fully booked, standing room only venue… it was a bit too much right then.

“What--what if I can’t?” she asked, her nerves stripping down her voice to a mere whisper.

“Are you being serious right now? Ok, look. Nerves, they suck. I get it. I feel like I wanna throw up every time I walk out onto a stage; especially at the conventions. But I promise you, Y/N, you got this. Bri is gonna be there, and you two, together… unstoppable.”

Y/N expelled a nervous breath and nodded to herself. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m just… it’s been a long week and it’s going to be a long night.”

“Throw out the setlist, play whatever you guys want. I promise to check in when I can, okay?”

“Aye aye, captain,” she teased.

“Go out there and kill it, I know you will. Talk soon.”

“Bye, Robbie,” she said and felt a small smile. 

Talking to Robbie was what she imagined it would be like if she had a real relationship with her big brother. Dave was never going to be supportive, kind, or even give a rat’s ass about her life; but what she had missed out on with him, she found in Robbie. Much the way she had found a new life-long best friend in Briana, and possibly the love of her life, in Jensen. With that kind of love and support around her, Y/N believed that maybe she could pull it off. All of it.

 By the time evening rolled around, she felt the nerves about the performance bouncing between false confidence and utter terror. All she could do was keep a straight face, and try not to let the overwhelming fear of screwing up take over. Briana had spent the day with her, picking out clothes, talking about songs, practicing some harmonies and just trying to keep her focused on the task at hand. Y/N was grateful to have her by her side; especially since Jensen wrapped filming and was in transit to San Diego, making him basically unreachable. 

They arrived at the brewery and were surprised to see the low rise stage already decked out with stools, guitars, mics, and the amps they would need for the show. 

“Holy crap,” Y/N mumbled as she walked into the vast space. “Someone is on their game today.”

“Hey, Y/N, Briana,” a deep voice spoke up from behind them. “Hope that’s okay for you guys.” 

Y/N turned around and recognized Paolo, one of the brewmasters as the owner of the voice. “You got this all done for us?” she asked.

“Yeah, hope that was okay. If there’s anything else you need--”

“No, this is perfect,” she smiled. “Thank you, Paolo.”

“My pleasure. Bossman says, whatever you need, I am to comply.”

Y/N chuckled softly and dropped her oversized backpack onto the floor near the stage. “Well, I will be sure to tell the boss man that you were nothing but helpful.” 

“Anything else you need?”

Y/N looked at Bri, who seemed to understand the question she was asking with her silence. She gave a nod and Y/N turned to the dark-haired man, waiting for a response. 

“Actually, how do you feel about live streaming?”

“I feel great about it,” he laughed. “My girlfriend is always doing them with her makeup tutorials. Sometimes I hold the phone for her.” He shrugged, though it was obvious by his smug grin he was rather proud of himself for that.

“Fantastic!” Y/N exclaimed and went into her duffle and pulled out the spare device she used for just such an occasion. “I am going to do a few posts of Bri, the stage, the brewery, and then I’ll pass it to you--”

“I can handle that. You’re singing too, right? So, you should be in the pictures and videos. The brewery is well staffed tonight, so they won’t miss me. I can be your personal cameraman.” Paolo was near beaming, and Y/N didn’t have the heart to tell him that wasn’t necessary. 

“Ok, sure, that would be awesome. Thanks again, Paolo. I promise to let Jensen know just how helpful you’ve been.”

Paolo gave a slight bow of his head, and when he looked up again, Y/N was touched by how big his smile was. She’d only met him a few times before when she had visited the brewery with Jensen to work on some festival business. But the way he jumped into action that night really endeared him to her and made her feel slightly less nervous that everything would go off without a hitch.

 Around ten minutes after eight that evening, the entire tasting room at the brewery was jam-packed to capacity. The patio doors were open, so the people could wander in and out of the building, and be able to hear the music no matter where they were. 

Y/N and Bri were ready to take the stage, but Paolo first insisted on giving them a proper introduction. When he got the room’s attention, he cleared his throat and spoke into the microphone--a little too close at first--but then with a wide smile, called for them to come out on stage. The room, full of locals and fans of Supernatural, broke into a loud bout of applause, shouts, and whistles as they walked out onto the stage. 

Y/N followed Briana up, and she felt the swell of nerves making her start to sweat. Keeping her eyes straight ahead and fixed on Bri, she was in awe at how effortlessly her friend was able to step up and immediately command the attention of the room. Bri gave her a side-eyed glance, and when she saw that Y/N had gone slightly pale, she took the initiative, got on the microphone and began her dialogue with the audience. 

They fell under Briana’s spell immediately and she barely had to say a word. As she spoke to the audience, engaging them in conversation about the festival and all the ways it was going to benefit the city of Austin, Y/N’s hand trembled as she picked up the guitar. She sat on the stool, positioned it on her lap and wondered if she would even be able to strum and pick at it like she needed too. The agreed upon setlist wasn’t complicated, and the longer that Briana continued to talk to them about the event, the more her anxiety over performing began to wane and she felt her confidence returning. 

Y/N cradled the neck of the guitar; the weight of it comforting and familiar. It wasn’t her guitar, not by any stretch, and the turn of emotion that ignited in her gut at the stark reminder of its absence normally would have been enough to make her seek out the closest corner to sit in and cry. She couldn’t do that, though. Y/N dug deep and remembered what was at stake and did her best to focus on that instead of what she lost. 

Briana finished her introduction and turned her attention to Y/N. 

“And all of this, ALL of it is thanks to this one-woman wrecking ball, [Y/F/N L/N]! She took the original vision of what this could be and created something none of us could even imagine. On top of all that, she’s one of the most talented musicians I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with! I couldn’t be more excited to share the stage with her tonight, so you can revel in the magic of her music right along with me!”

A boisterous round of applause from the audience made Y/N flush warm from a mild case of embarrassment. She flashed Bri a rueful smile and raised a hand to wave at the crowd. In order to avoid having to speak, Y/N just began strumming the guitar and as soon as Briana took the hint that it was time to start singing, she found the melody of the first song on their list. 

As the set played on, Briana sang a mix of covers spanning a varied mix of tempos and genres. The crowd was attentive and engaged, and even Y/N felt calmed by the entire vibe of the evening. Every so often she would look up and notice Paolo in the corner, the camera fixed on the stage. Everything was falling into place just as she had hoped, but when the song ended, Briana turned her attention to Y/N instead of to the audience and it threw her for a bit of a loop.

“I think it’s time that my friend here showed off her pipes! What do you guys say?!”

Despite the rousing response, Y/N couldn’t hear anything but the pounding of her own heart. Where the nerves were coming from, she couldn’t understand entirely; it wasn’t like she had never sung in front of a crowd before. There was something about that night though, that made her anxious about opening her mouth to sing. 

Y/N glanced up at Briana, who was watching her closely. Bri could see the bundle of nerves that lived in her friend’s brow but gave her a wide smile and a slight nod of encouragement. 

“Come on, Y/N… one song for the lovely people! I know you have something special in there to share with them!”

Y/N looked up and scanned the crowd, most of the faces looking back were now shadowed by the dim lighting of the room. But off in the corner, there stood Paolo, the camera pointed right at her and somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered if maybe Jensen was watching the live stream.

The thought of him--the very simple thought of his smile--caused this slow wash of calm to suddenly flow through her. She gave Bri a little nod and readjusted the guitar on her lap so she could lean in closer to the microphone. Y/N didn’t speak; no need to address the crowd on this one. This song wasn’t for them, it was for him, and she hoped like hell that he would see it.

As her fingers found the frets, and she began to strum, she went through the first few chords of “Can’t Help Falling in Love”. She kept the tempo of the guitar slow and dreamy. With Jensen’s face on her mind, she felt a small smile caress her lips as she began to sing directly to him, some thousand miles away. 

The entire room fell silent as they watched her perform. 

“Wise men say only fools rush in, But I can’t help falling in love with you

Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you

Like a river flows, Surely to the sea Darling so it goes Some things are meant to be....”

Letting the reverberations from the guitar fade out, her hands falling softly from the frets and the strings. Y/N closed her eyes and felt a rush of emotion so strong that she needed a beat to compose herself. When she continued singing, there was no music, just the sound of her voice; airy, thoughtful, and so obviously in love...

“So take my hand, Take my whole life too…”

She began to strum again, finishing the song with the soft melody of the guitar.

“For I can’t help falling in love with you. For I can’t help… falling in love with you…”

 When it faded to an end, she opened her eyes to a crowd absolutely mesmerized and enamored with the ethereal magic they just bore witness to. Even Bri, completely moved to a few stray tears, couldn’t resist the urge to get up from her stool, and drape herself over Y/N’s shoulder in a dramatic embrace for a brief moment. 

“I told you this woman was magic!” she said into the mic when she returned to her stool. “The first time I met her, she was seated at a piano, and just plucked a song out of the air to play. We just had such a blast that night. It was the best damn ‘how-do-you-do” I’ve ever had!”

Y/N shook her head and chuckled softly as she cast her eyes back to the guitar and strummed it absently until her nerves were back under control. When she lifted them up again, she searched the faces in the crowd only to see beaming smiles and hear excited chatter. Paolo was using the camera to scan the crowd as well, and Y/N could see him replying to messages in lightning-fast fashion. As she brought her eyes back to Briana on the stage next to her, off in the opposite corner of where Paolo was, she thought she caught sight of a familiar face. 

Her heart froze. There in the crowd, a head stuck out over the rest and if she hadn’t blinked a few times quickly to refresh her vision, she would have sworn she saw Nathan’s face among the guests. But, when she tried to find him, there was no one there. 

It’s just nerves, she told herself as Briana continued to wax poetic about music and back around to the festival. Y/N tried to remain engaged, but her hackles were up now, despite the residual rush of the song she just sang. 

“You, my magical musical unicorn, were amazing tonight!” Bri exclaimed as she joined Y/N in the break room at the back of the brewery. She disappeared almost immediately after the performance to change out of the tight jeans and fringed tank top she wore. Now wearing her most comfortable sweat shorts and Louden Swain T-shirt, she leaned her head on Y/N’s shoulder along with one arm and yawned wide. 

“It’s late, ready to go?” Y/N asked with a laugh as Bri exaggerated the yawn with a loud sigh afterward. “Might be past your bedtime ma’am.”

“Oh, it’s way past my bedtime. Yes, I am absolutely ready. Do you have everything?” she asked lifting her head from Y/N’s shoulder and looking around the break room. 

“I think so,” she answered and lifted an armful of files she needed to bring back to Jensen’s house, before slinging the backpack over her shoulder. Let me run this stuff out to the truck. You go grab Paolo and see if he can carry out those cases of beer. I wanted to haul a few back to the house.”

“Absolutely,” Bri said and went off to find their cameraman of the night and ask for his help one last time. 

Y/N gathered the rest of her things and as she made her way towards the rear exit of the brewery, she felt her phone vibrate from her pocket. She juggled a few files and reached in to retrieve it, noticing three new texts from Jensen.

>>How’s it going tonight? Everything set up?

>>Ohhhh live stream! Who’s taping? Is Paolo helping?

>>JFC Trix… you’re killing me. Just caught the live feed and I’m speechless… God I wish I were there.

Y/N felt her heart pounding, and a smile swelled across her lips at knowing he saw her sing. She was in the middle of a reply as she reached the parking lot. With her thoughts on Jensen and her eyes on the phone, she didn’t see the shadowy figure step out from the darkened corner of the parking lot and start walking towards her.

Just before she reached the truck, she felt it; a large, looming presence stretched out tall before her. Y/N looked up from the phone and jumped when she saw him there. The man’s face was still cloaked in darkness from the baseball cap he wore, but she knew who it was nonetheless. It hadn’t just been nerves earlier in the night, she did see his face in the crowd after all. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Nathan said, his tone calm and yet still unnerving to her ears.

Y/N completely froze; bolts of panic binding her feet to the ground. “N--Nathan? Why are you here?”

“Heard about the show, wanted to come and see you sing. It’s been a while since I have.” Nathan took a few steps closer, and even as he uncomfortably closed the distance between them, her feet still could not be swayed to move. “Want a hand with those?” he asked and pointed to the files she was gripping for dear life.

“No, I’m fine. You shouldn’t be here,” she replied sharply. “You need to go, Nathan.”

She heard him snort through his nose something that resembled a laugh, though completely devoid of actual humor. “Always trying to get rid of me, Y/N. Why? I come to see you, and you just push, and push, and push me away. Every fucking time.”

The closer he got, the more she was able to make of his features and she right away noticed he was falling back into his old ways. His face was drawn and pallid, his eyes sunken and his cheekbones high. He had probably stopped eating, just consuming booze or drugs daily with the bare minimum amount of sustenance to survive. 

“Nathan, you don’t look good. You should go home. Go back to Jersey and see your ma, she--”

“She kicked me out. I’m not welcome there, either. Which is your fault, by the way.”

“Mine?!” Y/N scoffed. “How?”

“After I came to visit you after your boyfriend threw me out on my ass--”

“Not true. You walked out and you’re lucky you did. You’re goddamned lucky that Rob and Jason were there to stop him from hitting you harder.”

Nathan ticked his head to the side, a scowl set into his features as his tongue licked over his top teeth in annoyance. “Noted,” he snapped. “After that, I started drinking again. Now…” he raised his arms up and shrugged, “now I have nothing. Again. Because of you.”

“Then why are you here?” Y/N asked, trying to stay calm and nonchalantly continue the text to Jensen, to let him know what was happening so she wouldn’t be completely alone in it. 

Nathan went to respond and saw her thumb slowly swiping across the screen. In one swift motion, he lunged forward, smacked the phone and subsequent folders from her arms, scattering papers across the parking lot.

“No! We’re talking!” he roared, making her cringe away in fear that he would raise a hand to her next. 

“Alright, Nathan. Then talk. But over there because you’re scaring me,” Y/N said softly, not wanting to provoke him any further.

Nathan took a small step backward and then laughed as the subtle nighttime breeze began to scatter papers around the empty lot. 

“Oops. Sorry. Guess I made a mess again, huh?” he snickered, his eyes growing big and wild. 

Y/N could tell his mood was becoming manic and unpredictable like it did the night he put her in the hospital. 

“What does that mean?” she asked hesitantly, but in her gut, she already knew. 

“Looks a lot like your loft,” he snarled, his eyes affixed to the papers on the ground. A dark, unnerving grin unfurled across his lips as he watched them continue to get further away. When they flickered back up to her, she could see that he was lost in the remnants of the memory. “I made a fucking mess, huh? And your dad’s guitar, woooo boy.” He leaned back, hand on his gut as he cackled with utter joy. “The way that broke in my hands… Look, I was glad I made that stupid bitch happy, but damn that alone was worth doing it for. Felt good shattering the one thing you loved so much...” 

Y/N felt like someone punched her in the chest; her breathing was shallow and the sharp pains of no air coursed through her limbs. The things he was saying… he was admitting into breaking in and trashing the townhouse. A million questions flooded her mind, but the most important thing right then was to get back into the safety of the brewery. Once he was gone, she could take what he said and go call Detective Perkins. 

Nathan shook his head, the unsettling smile still lingering. “You… you just could never be content. Could you? Always looking for something… some grand purpose. Thinking you’re special ‘cause you can play a few instruments. You ain’t special. You’re just like every other piece of trash from the beach with a good pair of tits and a stupid dream. Why should you get it, huh? What makes you better than the rest of us who didn’t get outta there?”

“Nathan… I--I don’t know what you want from me…” Y/N was slowly backing up with small, shuffling movements. “I tried to be nice and welcoming when you showed up that day. We tried rekindling a friendship after everything--”

“Friendship? Jeeeesus Christ,” he moaned and rubbed a hand over his mouth, “I don’t need any more fucking friends, Y/N, I needed you. But you were already fucking him and I can’t compete--”

“Compete?!” Y/N was finding her voice. The fear starting to dissipate and be replaced by a white, hot flash of rage. “I LEFT him because of you, you asshole! On New Years… I had him… we were together and I got all FUCKED UP and ran out because you got into my head!” She was clenching her fist around the strap of the backpack still on her shoulder and trying not to do something stupid. “I tried to be civil to you, Nathan, because of what we had. But you know, I’m glad you showed your true colors. Because of it, I am happier and more in love then I have ever been! Especially more than I could have ever really been with you…”

Nathan’s face contorted into a man prepared to pounce out of anger; his eyes were wild, his nostrils flaring, the veins in his neck pulsating with rage. Y/N saw the intent in his now dark eyes and knew she pushed too far, but she didn’t care. His body was rigid, but when he made his move, it all seemed to unravel in slow motion. 

Nathan’s arms lifted in front of him as his hands shaped into open claws with her throat as their prime target. Y/N felt like she had no control over her body. She screamed at herself to turn and just make a run for the brewery before he was able to get a hold of her, but her feet just wouldn’t move. Her eyes scanned the ground in a panic, looking for the phone he had knocked from her hand, but it just laid there with a darkened, cracked screen and the battery laying beside it. She was able to turn her head just enough to see the rear door to the brewery and the lights on the inside before she felt Nathan’s hands touch her. His fingers curled around her throat, making it difficult to move. Before they tightened completely, Y/N readied herself to fight back and just as she struggled to turn her head around back to Nathan, she was bringing up her leg to his groin with the hardest thrust she could. 

Nathan went spiraling backward with a loud grunt of pain once her knee connected with his balls. As he landed on the dirt, Y/N heard voices from behind her; it was Bri and Paolo heading towards them talking  while pushing the handcart of beer. The second they noticed what was happening, Paolo left the cart and broke out into a sprint, as did Bri, and was at her side in seconds. Bri had her arms on Y/N’s shoulders, turning her and examining her for any injuries, as Paolo went to grab Nathan. Despite the man’s inebriated condition, he scrambled to his feet, still wearing a salacious grin. He turned and ran as fast as he could, easily able to escape the last-ditch effort Paolo made to grab his arm. 

“Are you alright?” Briana asked, still desperately searching Y/N for any sign of physical trauma. “Paolo, call the police, now!”

Paolo nodded, pulled out his cell and began pacing the parking lot as he made the call.

Knowing that she was safe, protected by the presence of Bri and Paolo, Y/N was able to come to terms with what just happened. It started in her knees, the adrenaline that served her so well, now leaving her body in shakes and spurts. She tried to be strong and not let the overwhelming need to scream from the leftover terror in her gut, and if not for Bri holding her upright, she thought she may buckle under it all and fall to her knees. 

Y/N covered Bri’s hands with her own and squeezed them tenderly. “I’m fine,” she lied through a shaky breath. “It’s okay, Bri. I promise. He, uh…” she felt the lump forming in her throat at having to actually say the words, “...he touched me for a second. He put his hand on my throat, and somehow I was able to get my leg up and knee him in the crotch.”

Bri took a closer look at Y/N’s neck and thought the marks there would be enough to at least prove to the cops that he had tried to choke her, but not bad enough they wouldn’t fade in a day or so. 

“Atta girl,” she breathed, a huff of air following from her lips as she sighed in relief and pulled her friend into an embrace. “Where’s your phone? You need to call Jensen, he’ll--”

“No. Do NOT call him,” Y/N vehemently insisted. “You cannot tell him, Briana. Not yet, please.”

Briana drew in a breath to argue a case for complete honesty with Jensen, but then saw the pleading look in her friend’s eyes. Given the intensity of the situation, she didn’t want Y/N to feel anymore unnerved. She nodded softly and reluctantly agreed. “Alright. But I’m telling you if you don’t tell him soon, I will.”

“Fair enough, just… not right now. Right now, I just want to get out of here.”

“Cops are on the way,” Paolo said, rejoining them. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, he just scared me,” she replied unconvincingly. 

“That was your ex, right?”

Y/N nodded slowly, surprised Paolo knew. “Yeah, how…” then the realization dawned on her. “Did the boss man tell you to look out for him?”

“Yeah. He said if he was seen anywhere on the property, call the police immediately.”

“Of course he did,” she muttered. “Please, just let me tell him, okay?”

Paolo looked uneasy and glanced at Briana who nodded slightly in support of Y/N’s request. 

“Alright,” he agreed with a sigh, then looked around the lot at the mess of papers continuing to flutter about. “I’ll call inside, get some of the guys to come out and gather up the papers.” 

“Thanks, Paolo,” Bri said and bent down to pick up the broken phone. “Hope you had it backed up.” She said, trying to make the comment light, but the underlying ache of empathy she felt for Y/N was far louder.

“Thank God for Robbie and his cloud,” Y/N laughed, but then fell quickly silent. She didn’t know what to do next, outside of waiting for the cops to arrive. If she had just gone with Jensen… the thought plagued her. Coupled with her guilt that was attached to Nathan’s general presence, she came to realize that there was really only one place she could go that could even begin to heal the trauma she experienced at Nathan’s hand. 

Briana could tell there was something she needed to say but wanted to give her the space to say it without prodding her along. 

“Bri?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I use your phone? I need to go to San Diego.”

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[keerawrrr]

update

work is back to being decent; for now. grateful

home....still a mess & still no clue about the moving idea....waiting for something to click; it'll come to me...eventually

family....uh, ok. we're not estranged so that works n bae seems to b fitting in ok; I'm gonna try to get my bro to ask my aunt to visit so we can get a "free" ride to Louisiana lol it'd be our first trip together -fingers crossed-

things with bae; we're good. we're riding the current n enjoying things. no talk if his mother in a negative way; ive pretty much put her under my heel....he even asked me if he could tell me about something with her; oh! n if he could go to the lake with her n other fam & n I was jst like duh tf lol but I realize he's really putting in an effort in balancing the two so I think its super sweet.

um work with us is still a work in progress; I think our last time together went great, tomorrow we'll be at it again...{{wish us well}} ; one thing that bothers me tho is I'll have ideas of what I want us to do, reasons why I ask him over & nothing happens....idk if I'm scared he won't be interested in the things I want....when I know that's not true, he's very open-minded (but spiritual stuff IS touchy)...plus I get caught up in this idea that I jst need to spend as much time with him as I can, I feel like we dnt get enough time....ever...so me sitting in his lap for 5hrs is a great day for me 😂😂 & I KNOW I need to snap outta that....do more of the stuff I plan in my head lol like packing up my apt; or going downtown n getting a wax of our hands done; or go on long walks with the puppies right as the sun goes down...

but other than THAT....we're pretty good; he did bypass a sex question that really irked me....but I'll give it time....& n bring it tf up again...lol think I'm playin

also in news....I just turned 30 lol St Patrick's Day (I won't say the day cuz if u dnt know this shit by now I'll literally scream); I love being a Pisces, we're so well rounded lol n not saying we're sane lol but that we have a bit of EVERYTHING 😍👑

bae had an awesome idea that could not work out cuz I'm a pussy when asking ppl for favors & I had a shit schedule. my Uncle missed the day lol he jst found out the day before yesterday lol Juicy & I had lunch together, chilled....I cried briefly lol, then went to a club I like. just us. we had drinks, but stayed on the main floor (they have a wood floor too with a stage n disco balls n lights more so in the middle of the floor), I was barefoot for about 3 songs lol had a nip slip 😭 n I swear my man got hit on at the bar 😂😂 then we went to the supermarket after fighting about the dude at the bar in the parking lot lol; we got ice cream n chips, & headed home to the puppies where we watched 101 Dalmatians (if I'm not mistaken) & slept lol

slept in til about 10; ate breakfast tacos n watched Netflix; then had lunch on my actual birthday with my family on their anniversary lol it was cool; me n bae were in there an hour early admiring the place, taking pics n such. got a bday card....no money & they talked mess about my car lol welcome to adulthood