#(I like to think when he sneezes his eyeballs fly out of his mouth and cane spins wildly)

[soulsmuses]

I’m way more active on my Twitter. But I should prolly share the fan art doodles I’ve posted of TADC so far-

The virus/sick Caine doodles are art responses to Caine’s VA request for artists to draw Caine sick.

[nonotranslates]

Owen Walpurgis 2022 SR Card - [To The Beast Pretending It's A King] - Card Story (feat. Bradley), Episode, Home Screen Voice, Chibi Desc.

Also featuring the mysterious window of Owen's room. The stories are circled around the Walpurgisnacht festival and gemstones (since the Walpurgisnacht of this year's event refers to a gemstone by the same name)

Thank you @/BlueMaryze for the raws!

====== Card Story: Chapter 1 - Is What’s Spouted A Lie or A Jewel?  ======

—In Owen’s room—

(Crashing sounds)

Bradley: Owen! 

Owen: What’s the matter, barging in like this out of the blue? Have you regressed into an unsightly beast who can’t even open doors without tearing them down now? 

Bradley: You’re the bastard who took the gem jewel that I left at the courtyard, ain’t it. Where the fuck did ya take it to? 

Owen: Gem jewel? What’s that? 

Bradley: It’s a kinda gemstone that’ll sparkle even brighter when basked under the starlight. I got it during the mission and left it outside the whole night yesterday. 

Bradley: I’ve set up a barrier and yet by this morning, it’s not there anymore. I did find traces of your mana traces nearby though. 

Owen: Ahh, that jewel you’re talking about, could it be the one that looks like the fireworks candy sold during Walpurgisnacht? 

Owen: If that’s the one, then I did see it. It was left all alone in the courtyard after all. 

Bradley: I didn’t leave it alone. I was keeping guard of it over a drink, before I suddenly got thrown somewhere thanks to a sneeze. 

Owen: Ahaha. Were you shivering from the cold? To not even be able to guard a mere piece of stone, what a poor thing. 

Bradley: Shut yer trap. So? Where’s it at? 

Owen: It’s nowhere. Because I ate it, you see.

====== Card Story: Chapter 2 - Is What’s Spouted A Lie or A Jewel?  ======

Owen: The barrier was so pathetically weak just like a child's play, and no one was guarding it too. So who would have thought that it’d be a treasure. 

Owen: It was shining so brightly in the starlight, it looked so yummy, just like a freshly dug-out eyeball……. 

Owen: So I ate it all down in one big gulp. 

Bradley: ……Hmph. Now that’s a lie if I’ve seen one.  

Bradley: No matter how much it looks like a real candy, it’s just a gemstone. It’s not like you’re Mithra either. You aren’t a gross fucker who’d eat even that kinda stuff. . 

Bradley: Spouting lame lies like this is proof that you didn’t do shit with it. 

Owen: ……

Owen: ……That’s right. The truth is, I’ve gifted it to our dear twin teachers who oh so loves rare things. 

Bradley: Really? I hope this ain’t another lie of yours.  

Owen: Whether it’s a lie or not, I’ll tell you if you get down on your knees and beg me. 

Bradley: Not a chance. 

Owen: Hmph. You looked like you were so hung up for the jewel, so it’s only to this extent. 

Owen: That means, you won’t be needing this anymore, right? 

Bradley: Hey, you bastard! So you hid it in yer pocket all this while! 

Owen: Cur Memini. 

(Sound of magic being used)

Bradley: Hah! It’s useless even if you fly out and escape from the window. No matter where you run to, I’ll chase ya—

Owen: Whee~! 

Bradley: ……! Don’t toss my gem! 

Owen: You looked like you didn’t need it anymore, so I kindly threw it out for you. 

Bradley: Don’t fuck with me! Once I’m back, I’m definitely killing yer sorry ass! 

(Bradley flies off)

Owen: Ahaha, he’s panicking so hard. This feels great! 

====== Card Episode - The Famous Person from the Rumours ======

Akira: Owen. Do you still remember about the Walpurgisnacht event that we went with everyone else? 

Owen: Ah, yes. The festival where a bunch of bootlickers flock around that Figaro. 

Akira: I-I think your choice of words is a little inappropriate……

Akira: Anyway, what did you consider to be the highlight of the festival? 

Owen: The fireworks candy stall was interesting. 

Akira: “Interesting”? Not “tasty”? 

Owen: Yup. The stall owner is really dumb and hilarious. 

Owen: He’s someone who acts all familiar and chummy with you. He asked for my name, so I answered him honestly. 

Owen: And then, he just foamed at his mouth and fainted. That was really funny. 

Akira: J-Just from hearing your name……!? 

Akira: Owen, you’re really famous, huh. But, was the stall owner fine in the end? 

Owen: He should be? He got up immediately after that. 

Owen: But then, he started asking me a stupid question like ‘Is the rumour that you stole that red eye from Bradley true?’, so I made him faint again though. 

Akira: (With some level of fame, you're bound to get all kinds of things said about you, truths and falsehoods alike all mixed up…… I guess this is what they call the price of fame.)

====== Chibi Description - [Wizard of the Valley of Darkness] Owen ======

Master Sage, do you know about the phantom gem? It’s a red gemstone that was fashioned into looking like a fake eye. The owner, a huge show-off merchant, fitted it into one of his eyes just to flaunt his prized gem to the whole world. But one day, a robber took a knife to his eye and…… Haha, what are you covering your ears for? I was just getting started with the interesting part. 

====== Home Screen Voice ======

Owen: I wanna eat some fireworks candy. It’s the candy they have at the stalls at Walpurgisnacht where they trap fireworks made of magic in the sugar. Travelling such far a distance is troublesome, so go with someone to get it for me, Master Sage. *

*The candy he's talking about was featured in his previous Walpurgis card art. See:

[skullamity]

Glad y'all love Ham! I blazed this post because people blazing pics of their pets is also MY favourite thing about blazed posts. To answer two people:

We bought a bag of the food the rescue has their kittens on. It'll last a while, and when it gets down to a 3rd of the bag, we are going to slowly mix in the brand we use for our other two cats until we have switched it out entirely. I think most of the stink is from the wet food, which is sort of unavoidable no matter what brand you try. Either way, that's the plan, and he should be fine!

My oldest cat had an issue with sucking on the tip of her tail for comfort when she was an anxious babey, and we actually had the vet prescribe us some bitter apple stuff because she was concerned that if we didn't get her to kick the habit, she'd damage her tail enough to require partial amputation (yikes!). The spray did not help in that she seemed to develop a taste for it, so even if it solves the "Ham chewing on cables" issue, it might create a "Noire chewing on cables" issue. Also I'm an idiot who likes those fabric wrapped cables and if I spray anything on them, they will be sticky forever.

Right now the plan is just to redirect him to things he can chew, and try and keep cables out of his reach.

Thank you for the suggestions, though! Here are cat tax photos of our other two cats:

Noire is 15 and her personality is ANXIETY. She loves us, but only on her terms. She has always been like that, and the only reason she isn't on anxiety meds is because she's chill if we meet her on her terms (and also medicating her is so, so stressful for her). She is very sweet and her meow is like a very husky cat doing an impression of a very old and crusty dog.

Dusty is 4 and also sliiightly evil. She's extremely cuddly, but also likes to murder my house plants for daring to take up two of the seven windows with proper cat-sized sitting areas in front of them. Her favourite game is screaming at us every morning until we wet our hands under the sink and then chase her around, flicking water at her while she jumps into her 3 favourite spots and rolls around, still screaming. If you forget, she WILL let you know.

And last but not least, at the beginning of the pandemic, my ancient cat Blanca's quality of life took a nosedive. She'd been having kidney issues for years, and with how impossible it was to get emergency vet appointments with all the pandemic closures, we decided that it was time to say goodbye. Noire is my husband's cat, and Dusty is my daughter's. I missed having a cat of my own immediately, but didn't feel like I was ready for a new little buddy in my life until now.

This is one of my fave pics of Blanca! Her personality was GROSS and while I appreciate that she was my constant companion and didn't leave my side while I was recovering from surgery about 5 years back, her concern for me led to the most disgusting thing she ever did to me:

Imagine you are sleeping. Your mouth is open, because sometimes it be like that whether you want it to or not. And then, imagine that your gross elderly cat who was sleeping on your chest sneezes directly into your open mouth! And now you are AWAKE. And what do you do when you are suddenly awake? That's right, you open your eyes! Now, imagine that the second your eyes fly open in your attempt to discern what the fuck is going on, your gross elderly cat sneezes a second time, right into your (now open) eyeballs. I do not need to imagine these things, because they will haunt me until my dying day!

Anyhow, I missed her a whole lot and now I have filled the cat shaped hole in my heart with HAM, who proved today that he is also gross by stepping in poop as he attempted to bury it, and then ran all over me and my quilt while I was sleeping this morning with a gross poop foot.

Don't know how to end this post, except to say that cats are my favourite, thank you for liking pictures of my weird gangly son!

I need to show y'all HAM. We adopted him this week and he is the sweetest, cuddliest cat ever. The first pic I took 5 mins ago when I realized that my effort to bring my portable drawing tablet upstairs to the Ham Containment Zone. I had exactly enough time to set it up before he finished breakfast, scaled my torso, cleaned his feet and then l passed out. Not sure how I'm gonna get work done in this position so instead I'm using my phone to show you this absolute babey.

Ham pros:

absolute babey

never stops purring

barnacle

just a little guy

funny meow, like a door hinge that needs some WD-40

sleeps tucked under my chin

him legs are too long for him body, zero coordination

Ham cons:

kittens are flatulent omg

tanking my productivity with all of the above

wants very badly to get onto my nightstand and knock all my shit on the floor

thinks I am keeping the most delicious of delicacies--phone and laptop charger cables--from him just to make him sad