#(Fyi I’m sorry to disappoint but there’s not gonna be actual art

[anger-anon]

I!! I WANN SEE!! LE- LEMME SEE ‘EM!! PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASE!!!

-PT

Alright- Alright! Jus’ - just gimmie a minute! I gotta go get them!

[sun-marie]

So, a lot is happening right now in the DA fandom. I thought I might share my thoughts on it. I’m a little late since I was debating whether I should say anything at all, but I’ve been seeing a lot of worrying stuff on my dash. I hope I don’t seem like I’m butting in or talking over anybody, because that’s not my intention. But I feel I must say something, so I’m just gonna roll the dice and say my piece. Just know that I’m not the most eloquent person, so please bear that in mind.

This post came out recently, calling out many people in the fandom. If you read nothing else, read this, not my post. Racism cw and fetishization cw, fyi. A lot of my post is about that one, but it’s also more about the general problems regarding racism in our community. As a white person, I can only really talk about what I’ve seen from other white people. Other white people? We gotta do better than this.

It saddens me so much to read the post. This fandom needs to be a safe space for POC. We need to make it a safe space, especially us white people. Nobody should have to be afraid they will logon to find that they are bombarded with racist, triggering things. They deserve the right to just be able to feel comfortable and welcome and have a place to forget about how horrible the real world is. You know, how us white people get to do all the time?

But you didn’t need me to tell you that. POC have been saying it all along.

Many people who were called out in the post have made responses. One such response asked their followers to “please hold them accountable and let them know when they’ve done something wrong.” But that’s not really acceptable. Again, to echo POC, it is not their job to educate and hold you accountable. It is your responsibility to do your own research and hold yourself accountable. Research, by the way, is not badgering random POC online and demanding they educate you. You have to find those open and willing to teach you. @writingwithcolor is a great example of people who want to help you, who want to make you more aware. Or y’know...

Books.

Some of the people in this post have claimed that their art/writing is a way of coping with their own history of sexual assault.�� I can’t really speak on that, since I have never experienced that, but I will say this. If drawing/writing something offensive really helps you cope, I suppose that’s fine. But then, why would you post it? You know its harmful. People are now reaching out saying that it’s making them uncomfortable. If you really had to post it, you could at least tag it correctly. Tag it “racist”. Tag it “sexual assault”. Tag it “s*vage fetishization”. 

Oh wait, you won’t. Because that’s too real for you.

It makes me so angry. We are literally pushing POC out of the fandom. And it makes me angry to see people be called out on their bs respond with either “you’re bullying me!!!” or “please reach me from the hours of 7-9 to discuss topics of a racial concern.” I don’t understand why so many people are having such a hard time saying “Yikes! I didn’t realize I was doing that. I’m so sorry. I’ll stop now.” and like. Actually stop.

It never feels good to be called out, especially for racism. I know. It hurts. But, when it happens, you gotta put on your grown-up pants and learn from it. Grow. Move past it and become a better person on the other side. Just don’t do it again. The wrong response is to get all defensive and deny that anything is actually wrong. That the people feeling uncomfortable are wrong. 

Its so disappointing to see many people’s response to this post is that elfyness is just being a bully, that she’s trying to police everybody in the fandom. That’s just not the case. Bullies start in a position of power and they pick on the vulnerable. The people in this callout post are not vulnerable. Also, it is not bullying to criticize someone. Are we in the third grade? To say her post is bullying is called tone policing.

Anyway, I just needed to get that out. I want to speak out and defend people who didn’t do anything wrong, just voiced their grievances. We have to do better as a community. 

[midnightvoss]

Idk, I think we’d have fewer narrative problems with characters discovering that they’re gay and then being locked IMMEDIATELY into a relationship with one character, and the fandom being completely heartbroken when they break up or inevitably swap spit with someone else if...

More showrunners considered from the beginning that gay people exist and allowed the characters to have a few misfires before meeting and starting things with their ENDGAME (hate that word). 

Pretty much all over the place. Glee, Supergirl, (lbr) FRIENDS (even though they gave no attention to Carol’s lesbian awakening so no cheating), Wynonna Earp, The Bold Type, etc etc etc.

God, this got so long.

There was no excuse for Melanie and Lindsey cheating on each other (especially how not sorry Lindsey was for cheating on Melanie during the latter’s pregnancy), or Bette and Tina’s, but you have to assume that for Queer as Folk and The L Word, they were just mimicking soap opera drama. The latter was never very well written, and the characters changed personality roughly once per season.

For the others, if it plays the same way every time, it’s because each show is giving only a certain amount of time to each couple and cheating is such an easy trope to reach for... especially when the characters have only ever been with each other... That’s not the only “REALISTIC” thing that might happen, but it’s one of them. So this situation exists as a mix of laziness and homophobia. It’s not far off from the choice to kill off a flamboyance of lesbians on every show... They don’t know what else to do with the characters. 

Granted, coming back to The Bold Type, I can tell they are actually trying to Do Something, and we can’t fault them as much as other shows for not devoting a lot of time to the plot and characters because everything else has a damn hour to work with, and The Bold Type only has half an hour. (It’s like when I cut some slack for Steven Universe having its characters move on from their HUGE ISSUES very quickly... because most of the time, the show runs for 11 fucking minutes.) Thus, to do ILUs, set up interest from Kat, have the moment of indiscretion, a confession, separation, and conversation, within like three episodes... 

It’s rushed, man. And I’m really disappointed by all the things we could’ve had exploring Kat’s sexuality besides this. I’ve literally never seen a representation of a lesbian/bisexual/queer woman connecting with the community for the first time in a lesbian bar and talking with her partner and getting to share that joy. I’ve seen gay boys get it occasionally (even Glee made it a horrible moment, but we all know Glee should’ve been titled Torture), women, never. No cool bars, no open dyke nights with slam poetry or acoustic guitars, no art showings.... like we do have culture outside of being unhappy. I’m hard up for Queer Joy instead of Queer Angst.

But I’m not going to say The Bold Type should be canceled because they stepped into this situation, nor am I going to hate Kat as a character. Honestly, I didn’t have much of an emotional reaction. It’s what I expected. How else are women characters going to have drama if they don’t cheat on each other?? Except maybe the drama that Kat and Adena have addressed already this season already... /snark 

Maybe when I go to rewatch the season, I can muster up a little emotion other than disappointment, annoyance, and feeling bad for Adena to be in this situation. I mean, when you’re thrown out of the narrative, it’s hard to really assess it, so I didn’t even bother with a write up after I watched.

It’s not really possible to evaluate how “well” the writers are handling the plot until we see the rest of the arc, but I will say, as much as I hate the plotline, they’ve put more nuance into it, and held back on more horrible behavior than I’m used to writers pushing onto the characters in this kind of situation. I stg, Lindsey was so caught up in her exploration of her sexuality that she couldn’t give a fuck how Melanie felt. Blaine straight out blames Kurt for not being in the state when he decided to fuck someone else, and it was clear he did it on purpose to hurt Kurt. Santana broke up with Brittany preemptively because she knew she was probably gonna screw another girl at college. Waverly hasn’t even had a second to address what happened with Rosita since you know, Nicole almost dying... alternate reality... end of the world... demon rising... her niece being born... But when are she and Nicole actually going to sit down and address that Waverly kissed someone else and Nicole HAS A WIFE????

I appreciate that Kat came forward with what happened immediately, and while what happened was about her, telling Adena was about Adena. She doesn’t blame Adena for her reaction. She doesn’t demand things from her. She lets her have her time. And Adena doesn’t go low and attack Kat. Of course, Adena would never, but that’s the way this is typically written. And they say you can find out as much about a couple’s strength by the way they fight as by the way they are day to day. Kat holds back and listens. Adena needs space and is tentative and deliberate. Neither wants to hurt the other. That’s so clear. They want to preserve the feelings of the other, and they don’t want to give up what they have, in spite of this obstacle.

I think that’s really important. That’s the reason they could get through this. Yes, Kat may be curious about what it would be like to work her way through the lesbian scene of New York... but she doesn’t HAVE to. That’s not a GIVEN, that in figuring out her sexuality, she has to get hands on and fuck every willing lady that crosses her path. Trust that in the rural area I grew up in, I figured out my lesbian nature on my own fucking no one. Granted, I’m more of an introvert, but it isn’t like I didn’t have interest in girls I met when I was in college.

But that girl was dating someone, and I didn’t try to flirt with her anyway, and she didn’t cheat on her girlfriend. Not everyone in the lesbian scene is just waiting to pounce on the “fresh meat.” Just... fyi to any lesbabies out there. There’s no destiny to these interactions. There’s many ways this can go down. I guess it’s nice that Kat was so welcomed, honestly. I’ve been to lesbian bars that were INCREDIBLY cliquey. No one you didn’t know was going to talk to you. One woman (a decade or two older than me) tried to teach me how to dance (leave me alone, I’m awkward and I’m okay with that).

So, yeah, I’m tired of the one story being told over and over. But at least Kadena act like adults in their relationship, rather than spiteful little assholes. I’ll see how well TBT manages to tell this one because Kat and Adena are worth the time and emotional investment.