#((this is the last ending meme so ill probably get back into the swing of things now))

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and Hero of cookies part 3

All work words count: 14 643

Words in this part: 3 056

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay

Or

Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Joker goons are in for an orange surprise and Duke does not like it in the slightest

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part, Previous part

trigger warnings: gun violence, panic attacks, dissociation, mentions of Joker gas and what it doeas to people (tell me if i missed something, I'll add it)

Duke was having quite a good day. His schoolwork finally got lighter and up until now nothing notable happen on his patrol. Obviously, couldn’t have Gotham without at least one mugging and bank and corner shop robbery. About the last thing, if it was chain store he would conveniently arrive too late to stop it and just follow up to make sure cashier didn’t get fired. He used to be intimately close with hardships of getting necessary supplies like food or gas masks while corporate assholes were trying to suck people dry. But it was family business so he actually had to step in. He did mention secure way of getting resources to would be robbers though. All in all, not so bad, pretty good day. As for now, he was swinging on grapple to meet with Dani, armed with healthy snack Alfred demanded he took for her when he got texted on his Signal-work-phoneTM. It meant important business 90% of the time, so he stopped to check it out. Other 10% were memes from Dani that usually were worth it anyway.

Got it in one, Hoopoe texted. He opened chat expecting funny video or something instead to be greeted by:

Dani: Hey Signal

Dani: Peple aint spossedf t get out f Arkham

Dani: Amirite?

His stomach dropped. He wished it was hypothetical question but he knew better than to believe such fantasies. Things didn’t go so well in Gotham, especially not with Hoopoe.

You: Yeah, your right. What’s up?

You: You’re*

Dani: Nerd

Dani: Whatre you’re thots on clowns

Dani: ?

His stomach officially landed at his feet and decided it wasn’t enough dropping and ended up on a street below. Even if Joker was still locked up, his goons being active were bad news.

You: Where are you?

You: Hoopoe, where are you?

Dani: Clm dow I ned to chek

Dani: I have ni ieda

Dani: The box building rod

Dani: roof*

Dani: Warehouse?

Dani: That the wors

Dani: I think

You: There are over 1000 warehouses in Gotham

Dani: Idk wht yu want me totll yu

Dani: Therere other warehous arond?

You: Okay

You: Check corners for symbol and number

Back in the day everyone other than Bruce decided to take part in a challenge to count all of the warehouses in Gotham manually. They each got their sector and graffiti spray to mark counted buildings. Later it kinda turned into a way of identifying them. 

Dani: Red blb with too wite dots

Dani: #83

Okay, he wasn’t too far. He risked roof hopping and checking texts to make sure she didn’t try anything stu-

Dani: Im goin in

You: No!

You: Stay where you are!

You: Hoopoe!

You: Hoopoe!

Dani: Calm down worrywart

Dani: Jus wante ti get ab look

Dani: Invisible

Dani: M not dump

I doubt it

You entered building with Joker’s goons with no back-up or plan. It’s extremely dangerous

Dani: Yeah, yeah don care

Dani: 5 goons in clown masks

Dani: Maks idk wat of

Dani: Not northern hemisphere of sky for sure

Dani: Weird containter s

Dani: Ari smells funny

Dani: Giggly i guess

Dani: U prbl know better

You: Get out of there

You: NOW!

You: Try not breathing it in

Dani: K

Dani: Ill stop brething then

You: GET OUT!

Dani: K

Dani: Why so agressive

Because Duke knew what Joker gas could do to person. He knew how it took wonderful people (like his parents) and left shells wand shadows of who they used to be. Because every gas release left him with panic attack. Because he knew it was more dangerous than even some vigilantes thought it was.

You: Wait until I get there

Dani: K

He almost tripped with how much he tried to speed up.

Dani was actually vibrating when he arrived but stayed quiet. Good. If she breathed in some Joker gas it wasn’t working dose yet. Duke had deep feeling not even Alfred’s cookies would be enough to deter her from entering. Offering her a granola bar he sat at the edge of the roof with bone deep sigh. Girl took snack eagerly, bouncing around like puppy high on caffeine.

“How about we take a note of this happening and get going? Other Bats are better equipped to deal with this,” They weren’t but he didn’t want Dani anywhere near this mess. He himself didn’t want to be anywhere near it either.

Kid got deadly still, staring at him as if she could read his deepest secrets if she looked hard enough.

“They’re scaring you�� she whispered with strong feeling but Duke had trouble reading what feeling was it. He put his face in his hands for a moment. How was he even supposed to answer that?

“Joker is one of the most dangerous people in Gotham and these guys are working for him. They have guns. Of course I’m a little scared”

Judging by the face Dani made, she wanted to call him out on his bullshit but thought better of it. She floated to sit next to him, swallowing granola in few bites.

“My friend Johnny mentioned him,” she started between chewing ”he said ‘bastard murdered my baby bro Jay and Jay knew his way in fight, stay away from him Dani’. Normally Johnny isn’t so careful”

“All more reasons to leave it for others!” Duke almost shouted, hope growing in his chest. Maybe he could steer her away from it!

“He also told me to hit him if I happen to meet him. He would owe me ‘big one’ then. Do you think I could get ‘small one’ for couple of goons?!”

“Hoopoe no!”

Girl looked thoughtful and after over two weeks of working together he learned to fear this expression.

“Whatever you’re thinking, no. I’ll buy you biggest fries, just leave this–” he waved vaguely at the warehouse hoping it would get message across “–whole mess alone” There was lump in his throat.

Dani haven’t abandon whatever thought got her like that and nodded to herself few time. She drifted around a bit, shifted under her way too long cloak and finally settled with a soft smile.

“You’re scared… Terrified. You’re terrified of them,” she started calmly, like she would talk to a victim if she actually knew how to do it ”It’s okay. It’s great. Fear is what keeps humans alive,” she nodded as if she recounted something from textbook properly in front of the class “But I’m not scared and I fought people much stronger than them and I’m even better now thanks to you. If you’re so terrified, it means they need to be dealt with and it needs to be done fast. It’s okay,” her grin from soft turned devilish “I was itching for some fun fight anyway”

“Dani-”

“It’ll be quick, I promise,” she said, serious again “Don’t worry,” she stood up, saluted and fell through the roof, all too fast to react or not miss it with a blink. Frankly, it caught Duke so off guard he couldn’t even move for a few seconds after the whole ordeal anyway. He threw himself down to the nearest window as soon as he regained control over his body. His heart was stuck in his throat.

Dani tackled first goon with delighted giggle right when he crashed inside. He checked if his mask was secure on reflexes he plummeted towards the ground, moving his body to land safely on top of the shelf. Warehouses were weird place to fight. Easy to get vantage point like Duke just did but was also hard in a way. Little space made it hard to use wider streaks, easy get backed into corner. Annoying more than anything.

Dani’s wrestling match was so attention grabbing that nobody even looked at Duke, despite his far from subtle arrival. He threw himself forward when he caught telltale shine of the gun in one of goons hands. It was dumb move when Dani was so close to his ally, but who he was to criticize Joker goon’s live choices. It didn’t take Signal long to understand he wouldn’t make it on time. He had to but there was no-

Two gunshots rang in rapid succession split second before Duke got to the goon and, with swiftness granted only by adrenaline and fury people got when someone their got hurt, knocked man out cold. Before body could hit the ground he spun around to see the damage because Dani still refused to wear any armor and from this close goon would have to be Storm Trooper to miss her. Because she was most likely bleeding heavily. What if they hit something instantly lethal?

He faced a fight right in time to see Dani jumping at another goon also openly wielding a gun. He wanted to yell at her but bullets were fired before he got a chance. He looked for blood dripping from her torso while dodging another man  barely taking his eyes off Dani.

“That wasn’t nice,” she sounded like she pouted! At being shot! “If I was anyone else I would be seriously hurt right now, you know?” her voice was somewhat off. Like it wasn’t quite made by her vocal cords but some awkward voice generator.

Before the appalled man could react, he got technically not too good right hook to the jaw. It was strong enough to make him unconscious and get quite loud creak out of his neck. Duke hoped Dani didn’t mess up the guy's spine. He was criminal but he didn’t deserve this type of treatment.

Duke focused back on his own fight when he made sure that girl wasn’t in immediate danger of dying. He dodged running goon again, who literally ran himself into the shelf because of that. Signal used his short confusion to hit him in the side of his neck, rendering the opponent unconscious. Okay, they made it, this was the last-

Another gunshot made his sped-up heart skip a beat. Lump in his throat suffocated him.

No, no, no, no, no-

“I shot you in the face!”

 He looked her way ready to see unmoving body and red decorating concrete floor.

“There was a good quip for- oh right” she started cheerfully, entirely unharmed, before her face twisted into something actually demonic.

“Y̶o̸u̵r̵ ̶p̵e̶s̴k̶y̵ ̴l̷i̷t̶t̸l̶e̸ ̵b̷u̸l̴l̴e̶t̷s̵ ̴w̸o̴n̵'̸t̵ ̵h̶u̵r̶t̸ ̸m̷e̶, ₥ØⱤ₮₳Ⱡ₴”

She laughed in distinctly Dani way, all bright and joyful while also so not like herself, distorted and echoey it mage hairs at the back of his neck stand.

Duke froze when goon fired again and there was no way she dodged it. There was not enough space. She had to get shot. She got shot and he did nothing to stop it. A child got hurt because of him-

He looked at but hadn’t quite seen how Dani knocked out last goon and flew up to him. He heard her voice but words were impossible to understand over rush of blood in his ears. He could tell she was laughing. They should get out. Dani mentioned giggly smell in the air. It had to mean Joker gas. They needed to be out yesterday.

He stumbled a bit, forcing his leg to cooperate, half caring, half dragging girl to the nearest exit point. Fact that he could touch her and didn’t feel any blood was grounding a bit.

“-gnal, Signal are you okay? Your heart is beating weird,” Dani asked, sounding a bit scared for the first time today. Duke’s brain felt too fuzzy to care “Signal, you’re freaking out, calm down, please”

Light assaulted their eyes the moment they were out. Before he got fully used to it, he set girl in front of him and detached her cape. She may have squawked at this action but he didn’t care. She was shot, he needed to check her for injuries.

She got shot, she got shot, she got shot-

“Signal what-” he was clearly freaking her out “Oh. You think I’m hurt. I told you I could handle it. I’m fine. Signal I’m really fine. I have intangibility, bullets can’t hurt me. I’m fine Signal”

Duke wanted to make sure. Adrenaline or simple wish to not worry him could make her ignore something. He couldn’t let her. He made her turn maybe a little to roughly.

He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if she bled out.

She was actually fine.

Relief hit him so strong he crumbled against the wall, his mind finally succumbing to the haze. It was fine. It was all actually fine.

He may have heard some yelling.

Next thing he registered was something tad too warm, almost burning his palms. His gloves did their job of protection well though. There was a herbal smell. Melissa, he registered after a moment. It took him some more time to realize that the source of the smell was in his hands. He had scathingly hot cup of melissa in his hands. He stared at a little bit squashed paper again trying to get used to the light. He didn’t even realize he closed his eyes. Sound of the paper bag made him look up where Dani, still without her cape, crouched few feet away from him.

“You back?” she asked cautiously. Duke wasn’t sure how to answer. He was and he wasn’t. His mouth didn’t work anyway. He shrugged, mindful of the cup in his hands. Blanket, he didn’t even know he was wrapped in, fell from one of his shoulders.

“I don’t know what happened but Jazz likes this tea when she needs to calm down. Though she usually needs to drink it to make it work,” Dani rambled, gesturing widely “You’re still breathing kinda funny, can you slow down? It’s not good for humans to breathe so fast. It doesn’t let good stuff from air get in your blood and travel around your body and it’s not healthy. I know, Jazz told me and she is really smart. She wants to be this doctor who stabs brain back into working. She had this smart word for it… Neurosurgeon, I think it’s this one. She said breathing like that is not good for brain so slow down? In for four, out for four? I don’t know, Signal, just calm down?”

Right, he still was hyperventilating. Duke focused on his lungs, forcing them to expand, trying to match up Dani’s slightly gasping breaths.

He really was freaking her out, wasn’t he?

Melissa was almost lukewarm by the time he was back in his body enough to drink it. It was sweet, a bit too much for his taste.

“You good now?” Dani asked and Duke nodded. He was as good as he could at the moment “Great, I didn’t want to leave you for too long so I don’t have BatBurger. I got cookies though. And I can go get it now”

“Don’t,” he caught her arm and squeezed, not sure why he did it himself.

“Huh?”

“Don’t go anywhere”

“Sure. Wanna cookie? I have chocolate chips and healthy, wheat ones”

“Chocolate”

“Okay” she nodded and fixed blanket on his arms. It was comfy. If Duke was firing on all cylinders, he would wonder where she got it.

“Don’t ever do it again”

“What is it though?”

“Jumping into danger like that”

“Oh, really? It wasn’t that dangerous, they were normal humans”

“They had Joker gas and guns”

“Intangibility means I can ignore bullets Signal, don’t be such worrywart. It’s bad for your health. What’s Joker gas?”

Question and the whole statement felt so surreal that Duke couldn’t help but laugh, choked and hysterical as it was. She didn’t know what Joker gas was. Worrying about her getting shot was bad for his health. He just had a panic attack and was comforted by a ten years old girl with cookies and melissa. What the fuck?

“Hey!” Dani pouted “Don’t laugh like that! Jazz always says that you shouldn’t laugh when someone doesn’t know something, just explain it to them! Signal!” she whined but the damn broke he couldn’t rear his hysteria back in “Alright, I’m Googling it”

She did as Duke’s laughter winded down. He was almost calm when she deemed her research enough.

“Alright, this is some nasty shit”

This sentence startled him into full silence. Dani was ten, swearing wasn’t something she did, like, ever. He must’ve scared her a lot.

“I’m fine though. I didn’t breathe it in. Did you? This laughter sounded a bit worrying to be honest”

“I’m okay, I had gas mask. People sometime laugh to release tension”

“Oh”

“Yeah. But you were in the building with it and didn’t have gas mask”

“I wasn’t breathing”

“You were talking”

“Our fucked up biology, as Danny likes to put it, means that one doesn’t mean another. I just don’t use it often because humans find it uncanny and my throat gets itchy after some time”

Something in Duke wanted to argue more but it was squashed but utter exhaustion that crashed him.

“Alright”

They sat for a long moment.

“Are you ready to patrol now?”

Duke would laugh again if he had any energy left.

“I think we should end for today. I would be useless like that”

“Okay, valid. You go home I’ll fly around a bit”

“No. You’re going home too. I don’t have enough emotional energy to worry about you getting into some mess like this again”

They stared at each other for a long moment before Dani looked away with angry huff.

“Okay. You’re worse than Danny, you know?”

“I don’t care. Go home and stay safe”

“You sure you will be alright if I go now? I can walk or fly you somewhere, not home if you don't want me to but maybe somewhere closer?”

“I’ll be fine. I can call my brother. Just go please”

“Sure. See you tomorrow, Signal. You were really brave today”

“Thank you, Hoopoe” If she answered, he didn’t hear her. He fumbled with his comm to turn it on with still shaky hands. Finally he managed and called a pick up in the form of Jason. It was great to have older brother who always had time like that. Even if it meant a lot of unnecessary questions about what happened Duke wasn’t up to answering it yet and threats of serious violence on his enemies.

Duke couldn't force himself to let go of the orange blanket. It was grounding.

Though Alfred made him hot chocolate with marshmallows. He wouldn’t repeat today for that, but it certainly was nice accent.

*********

"Humouristic" summary of this part

Dani: Yo, there are goons here. Gonna investigate.

Duke: *quietly freaks out*

Random Joker's goons: *do normal goon things*

Dani: *attacks them* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Duke: Is this what minor heart attack feels like?

Goons: *start shooting*

Duke: Is this what major heart attack feels like?

Dani: Dude, you good? Here, get some tea, cookies and blanket

*

Dani, few hours later, texting: Hey Signal, remeber to bring back my cape tmrw

Duke, internally: Wait, this is her cape?

Duke, also texting: Wanna better one? Like Spoiler has?

Dani, somehow conveing Ghost Speak via text: Don't you dare

Thank you for reading this <3

Next part

[anxious2dsimp]

General Dating Headcanons | Sero, Todoroki & Bakugou

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Pairings: Sero x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Bakugou x Reader

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Headcanons​

Warnings: Cursing bc Bakugou 🙄 (as if I wasn’t the one who picked him lmao)

Request: :))) hellooooo :D hmmmm may i get general dating headcanons for sero, todoroki, and [insert your favorite character]? 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 @smexy-goose

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Hi again!! Omg yes, I’ll gladly write some hcs for the best bois! I had a hard time picking a fave, but since I have written for Kami and Kiri in the last request I decided to go with blasty boy❤️ (Also, I’m trying a new way to post requests, I hope it works!)

Sero Hanta

I feel like Sero is genuinely so fun to date, just like he said in that one dorm episode, he’s always the wild card.

He’s a goofball, so he adores making you laugh and smile as much as he can. I love him omg😭

Will definitely take advantage of his height (he’s among the taller ones in the class) and give you surprise hugs from behind and rest his head on yours.

He’ll also use his quirk on you for everything from pranks to just randomly pulling you to him to give you a quick peck or a hug :’)

He’s pretty standard with PDA, so he won’t go around making out with you in public but he will do little gestures like those <3

In private I feel like he’s definitely cuddly, he’s just so happy to be with you!

He loves having you over at his room to just chill or be in each other’s presence, even if you’re doing stuff individually.

Speaking of, the bakusquad definitely complains about you having privilege in using the hammock in Hanta’s room. 

Denki will whine like; “why does y/n always get to use the hammock? You said it was out of bounds!”

“That’s on pretty privilege, sorry! And you’re just jealous you don’t have a cool s/o like mine,” Sero will say and poke his tongue out from the hammock where you’re swinging togehter :’) 

I’m warning you now, if you had a healthy sleep schedule before going out with him, you can kiss it goodbye.

Sero will absolutely be up till like 3 am sending you memes and tiktoks that remind him of you.

And with him blowing up your phone you’ll most likely end up talking into ungodly hours of the night, the *sleep deprivation* only causing funnier conversations.

Those will end up becoming inside jokes that he’ll bring up to make you laugh while the rest of the class is like ???

That also results in some weird ass nicknames sorry not sorry

So he’ll sometimes call you regular stuff like babe and other times... he’ll call you things like “Bert” (FOR NO REASON??) or “Candied Blood Pumping Organ” instead of sweetheart lmao

Overall you two are just THE chaotic couple (and if you’re not generally that way he will bring out that side of you)

Pranking your classmates? Pranking each other? Random ass adventures? Trying weird food together? Dancing in the kitchen at midnight while sharing late night snacks? By going out with him you said yes to all of the above.

From sneaking out of the dorms for late night food runs to occasionally skipping class to go to the arcade or the beach, you usually can’t go a week without doing something fun togehter.

This one time you two were out with the Bakusquad and y’all stopped by a supermarket to get food. 

So you had to ask Bakugou to buy you something bc you and Sero had to stay outside and just hand him the money.

He was like “tf?? why? Just buy your shit yourselves!” You had to explain you two were banned from the store because Hanta had accidentally crashed a cart he was driving you around in into a display of cereal boxes.

Ah yes, good times.

Todoroki Shoto

I feel like he’ll definitely need a small push when it comes to relationships bc of his past, but��once you’re with him he’ll care deeply about you and will try to make you as happy as you make him :’)

I’m begging you, please give this boy some luv and affection!! For the most part you’d probably initiate PDA because he’s too nervous to do it himself

At the beginning he wouldn’t even be comfy cuddling, solely because he’d be afraid of hurting you somehow :(

But once you’ve reassured him he complies, and from then on out you just have to open your arms and he’ll instantly know it’s *cuddle time*

It’a one of his favorite pastimes bc he just feels so safe and loved <3 he also just loves the feeling of you playing with his hair

Luckily you get to do it year round since you cuddle his hot side in the winter and cold side during the summer

I feel like he’s secretly insecure, so the fact that you trust him and love him for who he is makes him feel like he could melt <3

Because of that you’re the only one he truly opens up to and shows his real feelings to, not to mention the only one who can touch his scar

And though he isn’t great with words, one look at him during one of these personal moments when its just you two, and you can just see it in his eyes.

Especially if you kiss his scar, his eyes might even get teary this sweet boy I 😭

That’s also probably why he shares his precious cold soba with you

Since you’ve been together, Shoto has just been so much happier, so his siblings and mother LOVE you.

They’re constantly inviting you over for dinner when Endevour is working (bc he’s a huge buzzkill to say the least), and his mom adores when you come with Shoto to visit her :)

Todoroki really enjoys seeing you get along with the people he cares the most about...

 BUT what he hates is THE EMBARRASING STORIES HIS FAMILY TELLS YOU OMG (you live for them, but I wouldn’t tell him that if I were you)

“Fuyumi remember when Shoto-” “Natsuo, no💙“ your bf will say as he unconsciously squeezes your hand, both of the siblings laughing at Shoto’s glare.

You had to hold in your laughter so hard omg

Though he isn’t that talkative, you guys definitely have that kind of relationship where you two could be silent and still feel completely comfortable (oh I’m so jealous of that but nvm)

He’s definitely observant, so expect the most considerate gifts and the most assertive observations, he’ll always know what you need.

The type of observant that gives you a water bottle before you even notice you’re thristy during training, or switches sides while walking so you loop your arm with his on his warm side when you’re cold.

Also the type to gift you that one thing you really wanted but mentioned once like months ago along with your favorite snacks/drink (you best believe he has them all memorized bc he’s just that attentive)

Over all, just a really soothing relationship were you can be comfortable with each other and feel at home when you’re together.

Bakugou Katsuki

Ok so, I feel like you’d be a competitive couple, turning anything into a competition in an endearingly annoying way.

You’re definitely the type of couple to go to laser tag, an escape room, an arcade, etc, as dates >:) but the competitions don’t end there:

Who can plan the best date? Who can make the other blush first? Who can get the other the better gift? Who’s the better kisser? Who gets the higher score in class? Or wins at sparring?

Especially when it comes to productive stuff like training or academics, although he won’t admit it, he’s just pushing you to be your best because he knows how amazing you are :’)

All the bakusquad knows about your shenanigans and at this point they’ve learnt to stay out of it & go get the Advil just in case bless their souls lmao

I’m sorry but he definitely calls you nicknames that purposely piss you off (with no ill intentions ofc), like “gremlin”, “dumbass” or “booger”

I suggest you also call him stuff like that back, like “angry pom” or “blasty” to get on his nerves >:)

You guys also definitely friendly bicker all the time, knowing that you take it lightly (though strangers won’t, resulting in some hilariously awkward situations)

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” he’ll say rolling his eyes as he messes up your hair.

Just watch his smirk dissapears when you reply, “no, u❤️″ It gets on his nerves, I just know it.

So he’ll chase you around as you call each other random stuff. While the other people at the convenience store are just like  👁👄👁

He never means it tho, keep in mind if you’re dating the self proclaimed future no. 1 hero he thinks highly of you :)

So he’d definitely be protective while simultaneously showing you off <3

Will always greet you with a kiss and keep his hand on your back or waist so ppl know you’re with him

RIP anyone who tries to hurt or flirt with you, I say try bc Bakugou will be exploding them even before they get the chance😅

Denki’s definitely almost gotten his brows blown off his face bc of that lol

Speaking of, the bakusquad still can’t get over the fact that THE lord explosion murder has a soft spot for you,

You mean you take care of his injuries, scold him when he burns himself out, touch his hair, and hug him when his moody... and you DON’T get cussed out and blown up? Shooketh

However they don’t see what happens behind closed doors, & how you’ve helped him with all the trauma he has experienced

You’re the only one who he is vulnerable with, you’ve seen him cry and he tells you about his nightmares and fears

You do the same with him, and you promise each other to get through anything together, which you’ve done so far :’)

Bc of that his parents love you, and his mom’s always going on about how she’s so glad you “stand” his son😂

Why can’t he be real ughhh

[jurijurijurious]

Writerly ephemera meme

I was tagged by @thisbluespirit in this rather intriguing meme!

Find five bits of yourself that you gave to your fiction (memories and places and phrases and things into our stories), post and tag five or more writers to share as well.

Now I know I do write bits of myself and my experiences into my stories, one way or another, I think everyone does, but it doesn’t half put you on the spot when you have to try to remember where you’ve done it!

1) I know that recently I wrote Walsingham passing out at the end of a scene in “Mea Culpa”. The entire description is based on personal experience. I went through a scary few years as a young teen where I would pass out for little to no reason, usually at school where there were lots of people watching to cause me huge embarrassment, which then almost gave me a form of PTSD. I was constantly anxious about fainting, it was not good, and we never found out why it happened. But that’s another story... I still occasionally pass out but it’s usually for a reason, after having a vaccine or blood taken or something, but the whole process of fainting, though horrible, is like an old nemesis to me, uncomfortably familiar. I generally feel intense sickness in my stomach, my vision is puckered increasingly with white dots, my entire body comes out in a sweat, and I hear a high pitched whistle-type noise as I lose consciousness. And so since that is my experience, it became Wals’s too:

His palms sweated, his pulse raced...  He shuddered and emitted another strangled breath, fingers white where he clutched the window sill, body trembling.  He needed rest.  Ursula's voice was becoming distant, the room was swaying like the deck of a ship caught in a storm.  He felt a sudden nausea in his stomach, could hear a high pitched sound in his ears, a siren's wail beckoning him into the abyss.

“I am sorry.  So very sorry,” he whispered, though he knew not exactly who he was addressing.  His own voice now sounded as if it was coming from underwater, far away; he was drowning and could resist no more, slipped where he stood and descended into the open arms of oblivion.

2) This is another Walsibeth example I’m afraid because I haven’t written anything else for about a decade! So... Though the pandemic and my lack of funds has put a temporary hold to my hobby of horse riding, I am a half-capable rider and love tearing across country if opportunity allows on horseback. I can thus write people riding horses (English style, anyway) with a degree of accuracy. So in my smutty one-shot fic “In perpetuum et unum diem” (the one which is mostly a pastiche of the raunchy finale of “The Tudors” season 1, and also an excuse for me to write shameless sex), I began the ficlet with a bit of a horse-race between Bess and Wals to get the blood up (a scene that in itself mirrors Elizabeth’s racing with Raleigh in TGA, I later realised). Though I personally haven’t raced a person on horseback per se, I have done beach rides and also ridden on a horseback safari in Africa where you gallop as a group, and “giving your horse its head” is the order of the day! So a lot of this passage is me:

She turned her head back over her shoulder and caught Francis’ eyes.  His lip quirked slightly at the corner but otherwise there was no change to his countenance.  But that was enough.  Her smile deepend as if to invite him to race her and she turned her head back around, gave her dappled grey mare its head and pressed her calves to its flanks.  And the beast responded, driving its legs harder, faster, into a gallop and flew like a falcon through the trees.

...

As the wind flew in Elizabeth’s face, making her eyes water, a great whoop of exhilaration escaped her.  There was nothing but her and the horse, and the knowledge that her blackguard of a lover galloped behind her.  This was what it should feel like to live, even in tragically brief snippets; to feel the blood in your veins, the air in your chest, and the sun on your face, wild and free.

They then jump a tree trunk which I’d love to say I’d do, and I might, but most of my falls have been from jumping so I’d probably wimp out and go the long way around... ;)

3) Annnd another one from my Walsibeth fic “Mea Culpa”, just because it’s fresh in my mind. When I was driving to work last winter, there was one Sunday morning which had a jaw-droppingly beautiful sunrise. I tried to take a photo of it but could not do it justice. I did find a photo of Lincoln Cathedral on instagram from the same morning though which captured the sky perfectly. It literally looked like the sky was on fire, or something, and I immediately worked this memory into my story! I felt that a sky like that would make the perfect backdrop for a single, forlorn, broken bastard riding his horse in a clear, freezing morning:

There was a strange light in the sky as the sun began to make its ascent.  It turned a deep crimson then lifted to shades of rich amber and gold; this combined with the few grey clouds passing overhead gave it the illusion of a huge fire, as if a great furnace now filled the heavens.  Some might have called it beautiful, others would see a grim omen.

4) I had a look in my dreaded old fic archive, so full of cringe, and I found this from the end of my Doctor Who fic “Choices”, which I reckon I wrote between 2005-2006, possibly finishing it later than that. This scene right at the end (told from the perspective of Rose and the ninth Doctor’s daughter, Hope) is literally my old senior school - the class length, the finish time, the uniform was what I wore, and my history teacher was Mrs. Gaskin, and my mum would be waiting in her car to pick me and my sisters up:

By a quarter-to-three in the afternoon, she was in another History lesson with Mrs. Gaskin, and was spending another forty-five minutes hearing about the Black Death, the plague doctors, and the red crosses that were painted on people’s doors. It was fascinating, but Hope’s concentration wasn’t there. She kept looking out of the window at the school yard, noticing the little details that other days she would take for granted - like the way the trees swayed in the wind, the way a crisp-packet rolled across the concrete, and the pure azure-blue colour of the cloudless sky. Something was afoot but she had no idea what it was, or why she was feeling this way.

The bell rang finally at the end of the lesson, as the clock read three-thirty, and the class disappeared swiftly out of the door. It was home time! The voices of myriads of children echoed and shrilled down the corridors, and desperate feet, eager to get home, pounded down the stairs, making for the exits. White shirts were un-tucked from trouser and skirt hems, blue-and-red ties were loosened from about shirt collars, and black blazers were thrown off and carried over shoulders as the mass of pupils took flight.

Hope, however, took things slowly, almost as if she might never see them again, picking up on every smile, every individual laugh, and every joke pulled on every unsuspecting victim. She waved goodbye to friends, hitched her backpack over her shoulder, and made her way out of the school gates toward the spot where her mum or Uncle Jack would usually be waiting to pick her up. As she turned the corner onto Petunia Grove, though, she stopped and sighed. The car - either her mum’s or Jack’s - was not there.

Hope pursed her lips and shrugged, taking another good look around just to make sure that she hadn’t missed it, but there wasn’t a familiar car in sight. She thus let her bag slip off her shoulder, and she perched her backside on the street sign, swinging one of her feet back and forth as she waited for the arrival of her escort.

In the meantime, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander again, as it had been doing often throughout the day, and looked around the street. There was a blue tit on the hedge over the road, stood near a couple of sparrows and a robin. The front door of house number five was a brilliant shade of red, something which she had never really noticed before, and there was some graffiti on the road sign on the opposite side of the street. It read ‘Bad’ something or other, but she couldn’t read the other word since it was blocked off by the blue box.

Hope blinked and slowly rose to her feet. It couldn’t be…

5) And for number five, this is a short extract from the an unpublished Star Wars fic I wrote around 2010, where I tried for what must have been the third time to re-write the Star Wars nonsense I wrote as a teenager, all starring my very Mary Sue OC, Nadia, who became Vader’s apprentice and was mentored by Veers. I have here again worked my experiences of passing out into the story - a psychologist would have a field day with me. Nadia’s thoughts about showing weakness were also real fears of mine - I never liked to be weak, to be ill, to be a burden, and my character was the mouthpiece for my own self-disgust. It’s written in the first person with Nadia narrating in this scene where she accompanies General (Maximilian) Veers to the Kaminoan’s cloning facility to review further batches of troops and is taken ill by the experience of seeing the thousands of farmed foetuses:

Max nodded whilst I remained breathless and shaky in his shadow. I could not get those tiny, wriggling foetuses out of many head - they floated upon my consciousness, their inhuman eyes glaring into my face and their tiny hands reaching out toward me. I tried to rid myself of these infantile phantoms, but I could not, and I suddenly felt quite ill.

“We shall need many more in our next delivery,” Max told the creature, who began to babble on about the problems of this request, but was halted mid-sentence when Maximilian wheeled about and grabbed me, saying my name over and over. He disappeared amidst the snowstorm of white dots that littered my vision, however, and I collapsed upon the floor.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a bright, white room. The walls dazzled me for a moment and it took my eyes and my mind time to adjust and to recognise reality. I looked slowly at the plain walls, finding myself alone upon a bed with my hands by my sides and a drip feeding liquid into my arm. This seemed quite surreal - I knew I was not ill enough to warrant this - but I resolved to stay put until someone came to me. I felt extremely tired and I thought that I may as well take advantage of the rest.

I fell back to sleep again and, when I next woke, I saw Max sat in a chair beside me. I glanced about the room - we were alone. I looked at him uncertainly, my visage undoubtedly betraying the signs of my mortification, for he first said: “Do not worry, Nadia, I am not angry with you. It cannot always be helped.”

...

I wanted to defy him, to be strong, but no, I just showed him weakness and insecurity. What indignity was this?

Thanks for the tag, that was fun! I can’t think of 5 writers to tag but off the top of my head: @feuillesmortes, @robins-treasure and @captainofthegreenpeas? Have a go if you fancy.

[archived-hero]

True end?

The door to the roof slammed open as the woman dashed towards the rope ladder. She’d prepared the helicopter in advance, of course. She’d prepared everything in advance, so why was it that every time…

The boy appeared, his oversized hoodie whipping around as she made it up higher on the ladder. Not now! She was so close! She just had to climb a little faster…

“You’re not getting away this time, Boogie! Panic Station!”

Swords flew out of his body as his Stand assembled itself, the medieval mech forming from weapons and armor. It stood almost eight feet tall, the boiler at its core burning bright as ever. It aimed its arm-cannon (the barrel also made of swords) and fired.

She felt a familiar numbness grip her body, and dropped safely back onto the roof looking like a fly bound up by spider silk. The massive Stand fired again, its dark green slime this time sticking to the side of the chopper.

Ichiro stalked up to her just a bit smugly as his Stand struggled with the helicopter.

“You’re going back to jail again, Boogie. You should know by now I never give up.”

The woman sighed. “Same time next week?”

Ichiro’s face fell. “Same time next week, I guess.”

[detectivecarlosreyes]

Only the pure in heart can make a good soup

Ao3

Day 1: “Are you warm enough?” + fluff -  Athena asks Buck to check on May when she stops answering her phone after staying home from school with the stomach flu that had been going around.

@evanbuckleyweek

One thing Buck didn’t expect on his day off was getting a call from Athena. He’d just finished a load of washing and had the now clean pile tipped it out on his bed to be folded when the call came through.

He wedges the phone between his ear and shoulder as he goes about folding each item and stacking them in their specific piles to be put away in the right drawer. “Athena! This is a surprise, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

“Hey there Buckaroo. I was actually wondering if you could do me a favour, if you’re not busy.” He surveys what was left of his clothes.

“Nope not busy at all, what do you need?” Buck moves the phone to his hand as he settles on the end of his bed, giving Athena his undivided attention.

“May stayed home sick from school today and I was going to swing by at lunchtime to check on her, but I’ve been held up with an incident on the other side of town. Would you mind checking on her, she hasn’t answered her phone in the last few hours.”

“Yeah, of course, I can do that.”

“Normally I wouldn’t ask but Bobby has gone to the station to sort out a backlog of paperwork that he missed while he was sick, and Michael has gone on a 3-day weekend away with his new beau and as you know everyone else is out of commission with the flu.”

Yeah, he did know, it was something that was going around at the moment, a 24- hour stomach bug. It started with one of the guys at the station who passed it onto Bobby who then passed it onto most of the team, except him and Athena, who went down all at once. It wouldn’t surprise him if May was struck down with the same thing.

Hearing the concern in her voice, Buck gets up and plan of action already forming in his head, “Don’t worry about it ‘Thena, I’ll drop by now and I’ll let you know how she is.”

“Thank you Buck, I’ve got to go but I’ll talk to you later,” she was gone after that and Buck was on the move, collecting his shoes from his room before heading to the kitchen.

Pulling open the fridge, he gathers what was left of the chicken soup batch he’d made the night Bobby had fallen ill and thanked his foresight to make a large enough batch to deliver to the rest of the team the morning when they went down too.

It was a patented recipe that his grandmother swore by that was both nourishing and easy on the stomach lest it be unsettled, and in all his years of using it, it hadn’t steered him wrong yet.

Throwing on his shoes, Buck gathers everything, grabbing one last thing from the fridge as an afterthought, and heads out for the nice, short drive that it takes to get to the Grant-Nash household. He easily finds the spare key that he knew was carefully hidden in the front garden.

Stepping inside, Buck heads to the kitchen to drop everything off before seeking out May who he assumed was probably in her bedroom, trying to sleep off the sickness. Finding the bedroom door closed, he knocks gently and announces his presence out of deference to her privacy.

Hearing what he thinks is the sound of her stirring, Buck opens the door a crack, “May? You awake?”

“…Buck? What are you doing here?” Swinging the door wider, he finds her lying on her side buried under her blanket and looking half-awake, squinting at the door in confusion.

“Your mom asked me to check on you when you weren’t answering your phone.”

Seeing a slight flush of her cheeks Buck steps inside and crouches at her bedside, touching the back of his hand to her forehead and frowns when he feels what he thinks might be a low-grade fever radiating from it.

“I’m guessing you probably have what Bobby had the other day, how are you feeling?” He asks as he looks down at the thankfully empty bucket sitting beside the head of the bed. He sits back on his heels, giving her some room as she props herself up on her pillows considering the question.

“I can’t tell if I feel hungry or still feel like my stomach is still upset. Breakfast didn’t stay down for long, it came back up not long after mom left.” She ends up answering with a grimace, wrapping an arm around her belly.

“I brought some soup. How about I just warm up a little bit and we see how we go.” He offers and gets a considering nod in response. Buck gives her a pleased smile and heads back down to the kitchen to warm the soup in a small saucepan.

He puts a slice of bread in the toaster before turning his attention to his phone, letting Athena know how things were. He moves easily around the kitchen, finding what he needs and plates everything up on a tray to take up to May. Before he has the chance to bring to food to her, he’s surprised, however, to hear her coming down the stairs.

“Is that the same soup you made for Bobby? It smells good.” She says, appearing around the corner, looking more alert and dressed snugly in a thick looking hoodie and track pants.

“Yep, grandma’s secret recipe. Why don’t you take a seat on the couch and I’ll bring it over to you,” Buck answers over his shoulder as he picks up the tray.  

He brings it over to the living area and set it down on the coffee table before passing the bowl to May. “Want to watch something together?”

“You’re staying?” she asked, confused.

Buck shrugs and takes a seat next to her on the couch, picking up the remote, “Yeah, I have nowhere else to be today and I don’t see a better way to spend my day than keeping you company.”

He pauses realising that he might be overstepping, “…If you don’t mind that is.”

May smiles at him, “I wouldn’t mind some company.”

Buck grins back at her before turning his attention back to the tv, “So, what would you like to watch.”

They end up settling on The Great British Bake-off which neither of them had watched. While they watch, Buck tries to subtly pay attention to how much May ends up eating, hoping that she gets at least some nutrition after losing her breakfast, and finds himself pleased to find that she managed at least half the bowl and a few bites of toast.

Almost an hour had passed, and they had just started on the next episode when May got up abruptly, rushing out of the room in the direction of the bathroom. He follows in concern and finds her kneeling by the toilet bowl, throwing up what she’d just eaten.

He goes to fetch a glass of water before returning and joining her in the bathroom. He squats beside her and rubs her back comfortingly until the heaving subsides before offering the glass. She takes it gratefully and washes out her mouth before getting up and moving gingerly back to the couch.

Buck diverts to the kitchen, getting the sports drink he remembered last minute to bring before re-joining her on the couch and offers the bottle, gently reminding her to keep up the fluids.

“Thanks,” May says with a small smile before resting her head on his shoulder with a frustrated sigh, “Guess my stomach wasn’t ready for food yet.”

Buck gives her shoulder a sympathetic squeeze, “We can always try again later.”

Feeling her shiver against him, Buck pulls the throw from the back of the couch and May tucks her feet up.

“Are you warm enough?” He asks and May nods into his shoulder.

They both fall quiet after that, tuning back into the show even though they’d already missed half the episode but neither really minding. They slowly get back into it by the end of the episode, commenting on what they think the judges will say about the dishes.

And that how the rest of their afternoon went, building up their own running commentary on the show, throwing in their own opinions and laughing at each other’s criticisms. At some point Harry joins them, having been dropped off from school from the neighbouring carpool.

That’s what Athena walks in to find when she gets home from work, the three of them looking at home with each other as her children quietly bickered with Buck as if they were siblings, over who they thought were the better bakers, and she couldn’t help but feel a sense of fondness over it.

Buck sticks around a little longer after Athena’s return, letting her know how the day went and confirming what she assumed May was sick with; And then he heads home, leaving behind the soup that he’d brought over and promising May that he’d try not to watch any more of the show without her.

The next day, however, he wakes to find himself flushed with a fever and with an intense need to throw up. It doesn’t take him much to put two and two together to know how he caught the bug. It doesn’t him bother though, feeling it was worth hanging out with May because it meant that he got to know her better and learned pretty quickly how easily they got along.

May must have found out from Bobby that he had called in sick because she sent him a number of British Bake-off memes which he saw after his second round of vomiting, making his day feel less awful. She explained that she was having another day from school to be sure that the virus had passed. 

The memes ended up sparking a day-long event with the two of them live blogging to each other what was left of the first season from the comfort of their own homes.

It was one of the best sick days he’s had in quite some time probably since he was a kid.

[subtextread]

My mama, and I, are so set in our ways. My mom can’t help but say triggering things - I perhaps can’t help by being triggered by maybe mundane things. It’s work (Work™) not Reacting, and I’m working very hard at it because we are in a scary pandemic and my dad already died this year.

But after washing dishes and saying a goodbye which felt loaded for me and probably/hopefully just flew over her head, I think it was natural to find myself thinking about my dad. My dad had such little access to me - even when circumstances changed and I grew up. He was just grateful to spend time with me and see me. There were times he wanted influence over my life, what parent doesn’t, but it wasn’t the entirety or even a majority of our relationship. I don’t say this as a critique of my mama - she and her side of the family had to do the raising and all the actual work of caregiving, so it’s natural that she also wants a heavy hand in transforming me into what she thinks is right. I’m just saying that there was a balance there. Maybe in safe, well-adjusted families that balance exists with both parents as a unit. With mine it was polarized between them. All that to say, I felt that balance palpably growing up and I wonder if I ever conveyed outwardly to my dad or even to myself in recognition that I appreciated the unconditional nature of his love.

The one year anniversary of my father’s death is in about three weeks. It feels like it was just yesterday. I was writing on tumblr the day it happened because pen to paper was too hard (it’s still kind of hard).

I have hit many roadblocks with processing his death. No death of this magnitude can be easy, but the isolation is unbearable. I will never be able to see my father’s final resting place. When I think of him, there is so little tangible to hold or places to go.

After seeing my mom I ended up driving to the last place he lived when he was here. It was hard. Trying to hold vigil, trying to manifest ritual in these circumstances feels like grasping at vapor, at punishing myself and trying to discipline out memories of places and images that must be somewhere in my mind. It’s also hard because my father lived a life of such transience. His last home in the city was an affordable housing unit, but it’s in a glitzy part of Old Town in Chicago with super commercial streets all around. The building is gated and secured because it is, by its nature, a place people try to access for sanctuary. I was only there for a few minutes. It didn’t feel right to be there, seeing its gentle and cheery Christmas-light bedecked lobby several feet behind the fence while people in need of sanctuary waited outside.

I remember my dad’s unit. If any of you have read the screenplay to Brokeback Mountain, when Alma Jr, Ennis’s daughter, comes to visit him at the end of the book, she’s saddened by the utilitarian nature of his dwellings. That’s how my dad lived too. Is it how all divorced, working class dads with adult daughters live? He had his inflatable mattress on the ground, a hearty and healthily stocked fridge, a TV that only kind of worked, a dial radio, a small closet of pretty chic dad clothes and fancy leather shoes, a lot of magazines and library books. That was it.

I drove around Old Town a little. I could see him walking around there. I could see where he’d post his mail and where he’d board the red line, and where he’d go get groceries.

I went to our old apartment. It was the apartment I was born in, and where my father probably last lived a full 20 years ago. When my parents were together, our family occupied several of the units in the building. This apartment was the backdrop of all of my baby videos and photos. After my parent’s divorced, my dad stayed there still. It was super shitty, to be honest, and at the time, mice-infested haha, but I didn’t know any better. It was home. Its crappiness kind of made it a place of some level of abandon. Once it was just my dad (but even before then), he - and I guess the whole family - had given up on me not drawing on the walls so at some point everything under three feet was just Scribbles, for example.

During that period where it was just my dad in that apartment, I remember a few things - my dad had hung up his target practice headshot sheets (from... work? he was a security guard) on the walls, lol #art. He once made a makeshift swing which hurt my butt and broke a lot but was fun anyway.

One time - ha - I found a tube of bright pink lipstick in the bathroom and subsequently used it to adorn the scribbly walls with a pop of color. I distinctly remember as a kid being like this is weird, but okay. And now, as an adult, I wish I had a camera on me when the implications of my lone, always alone, dad having a random singular tube of hot pink lipstick in his bathroom dawned on me l o l. I was driving down the highway to my childhood home and after being the lady calculating numbers meme for a hot second started cackling hysterically Through The Tears™. My father was just a person, after all. We are all just people. Full, complete, independent people with lives that are always somewhat secret from our loved ones.

I got to our old apartment and there are these two big rocks that have just been there decoratively on this Chicago corner for 30 years at this point. One of them used to be a white/light gray, smooth stone and the other one was a rugged rock with one fully geode encrusted face. I distinctly remember being little enough to climb on them (the white one was slippery, the geode one had purchase making it easy to climb). They’re still there, although now I could literally just climb from one to the other like they were steps on a set of stairs lmao, and the white one has been darkened thanks to city grime ✨. That was the strongest memory of this particular vantage point of our home that I have. All other memories are from the window looking outward, like waiting for my dad’s taxi (like all immigrant south asian dads, mine too was a taxi driver at one point) while listening to the sounds of traffic on wet pavement after the rain.

I texted my brother to ask if he remembered which floor we lived on. He said “wow, weird”. He had just had a dream of our apartment last night. My brother is currently about a half a day ahead of me time-wise, so I think he was both very surprised by our connected subconscious and also perhaps a little concerned that I was visiting no longer familiar neighborhoods at 1 in the morning. But my brother is gentle about this. He didn’t have much of a relationship with my father, his stepfather. He was the first person I called when I was told of his death and he soothed me in all the perfect ways as I drove the 15 minutes it took to get to my mom’s from work. He told me I had been a good daughter, that my father had loved me with the entirety of his being and had lived solely for me, and that I had made him proud and that he had known I had loved him. I wept and wept apologizing that he had to comfort me over someone he had a difficult relationship with, over a stepfather who hadn’t treated him the best, and I could hear him shrug over the phone. He said my father had been a simple man who was constrained by a difficult life and that he had not any ill will towards him. May God protect my brother always, inshAllah.

It’s funny attempting to create ritual, chasing some sort of catharsis or relief in places that felt loaded with meaning, but on physical approach, are devoid of it. My father’s most recent place does not hold his spirit, my birthplace apartment is now occupied by another family and probably furnished up to code. I arrived back to my place having had a stilted cry, a period of smug laughter, a nice conversation with my brother, and now a headache. I’m still stuck in some ways. I’m still figuring out how to process a grief that has elusive, elusive memories attached to it and nothing physical to represent it. But I tried, and my earlier hurt from my mom doesn’t feel all that present anymore. We will keep on trying.

[starlightinhumanform]

The Art of Love: Chapter 13

Fandom: She Ra (2018)

Ship: Glimadora 

Summary: Glimmer finally answers Adora’s text and gets to spend some quality Mom-Daughter time with Angella because they deserve it 😤

Warnings (for this chapter): Some descriptions of anxious thoughts (please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: High School AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rivals/Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff

A/N: Updates have really slowed down on this fic simply due to the current conditions of the world but I’m very excited for the future of this fic and I appreciate your continued support through all the ups and downs 🖤🖤 Love you all 🖤✨

Ao3    The Art of Love Masterpost    Fic Masterpost    Fic Request Info

Hey I was wondering how you were? Lmao I sound like a grandma but really. You seemed kinda out of it today and I wanted to make sure you were doing alright (it’s probably cuz I kept you up working on the dumb project all night lol) so yeah just wanted to check in cuz we didn’t really get to talk today :)

The first thing that struck Glimmer about the text was the fact that Adora had written her an entire paragraph. The second thing that hit her was that the entire said paragraph was all basically to ask how she was. It was silly and overly concerned and so very Adora. Nobody else would do something so sweet and manage to make it so ridiculous at that same time.

A wave of relief washed over Glimmer. So Adora wasn’t asking about Elizabeth and hadn’t mentioned anything about Glimmer’s crush. Glimmer could remain safe in her little bubble as long as Adora stayed within her own lines of ignorance. That would only last so long, however. For all she knew, that bubble had already popped.

Glimmer realized with a start that it was quite possible that Adora was simply leading up to that point, too polite to confront her right off the bat. Just wanted to check in... we didn’t really get to talk today.

Either Adora actually was just asking her what was up, or she wanted to “talk” to her. Glimmer wasn’t sure which option was more terrifying. Given how their past conversations had gone, Glimmer had absolutely no confidence in her ability to talk to anyone, let alone to someone she was crushing on- let alone to Adora.

She chewed her lip for a second, unsure of what to do. If Adora was still clueless and she started confessing to something Adora was completely unaware of, it would be worse than Elizabeth confessing it for her.

She thought of Adora, chilling at home, probably working away on some assignment like the nerd that she was. Glimmer started giggling at the idea of Adora pausing for a moment because she got a text and it was just Glimmer screaming: YES I HAVE A MAJOR CRUSH ON YOU EVERYTHING ELIZABETH SAID WAS TRUE ALSO WOULD YOU LIKE TO RUN AWAY WITH ME AND START A SHEEP FARM IN THE NETHERLANDS???

Yeah, ok so that option was not going to happen. She should probably just play it cool, like a normal person texting their normal friend. Her brain felt the need to interject: Yeah right- “normal person,“ that’s you. The little voice continued: “Normal friend”- that’s a funny way to put it.

Suddenly another wave hit Glimmer, and this one felt like an entire brick wall crumbing on top of her. Except it was good. It felt soft and warm and made Glimmer feel like maybe, just maybe, things would be ok. The sensation spread up from her toes and erupted in her chest until it reached the very tips of her fingers. It made her stretch her legs out and reach backwards with her arms until they were fully extended because it filled her heart up so much, she couldn’t contain it all in her small form.

Because even if Glimmer wasn’t as close to Adora as she wanted, they were friends. At least, that’s where things were hopefully pointing to. Was it perfect? No. Was it everything Glimmer wanted and more? Obviously not. But was it good? God, yes. It was something Glimmer had never thought was possible; it was something she had been actively trying not to pursue out of the conviction that it would all go wrong and she would get hurt. But this didn’t hurt. Not in the slightest.

Riding on the euphoria, she typed out a quick response:

I’m good. And yeah sorry I was pretty tired today lol Weaver has destroyed my sleep schedule. Also you sound like you ACTUALLY want me to talk to you?? How absolutely scandalous???

Glimmer let her feet swing back and forth, heels kicking against the side of her mattress. Tiny little bubbles of hope kept rising up towards her head because this was almost- very, nearly maybe- a step forward. A step towards being a little more than friends with Adora. Ha, this isn’t a step towards anything. You’re not going to get anywhere with her. Getting this high off the ground just means it’ll hurt more when this cloud dissolves under your feet. Because that’s exactly what this is- you’re letting yourself rely on cotton candy daydreams and sooner or later they’re going to dissolve beneath you.

Glimmer shook the negative thoughts off and switched conversations to scroll through the memes Bow had sent her. They were undoubtedly funny but she hardly registered the images; she had other things to be happy about.

Bow was probably going to annoy her about this later but Glimmer couldn’t resist the urge to gush:

BOW BOW BOW

SHE’S TEXTING ME

LIKE A FRIEND

ASKING ME HOW I AM

OOO???

Glimmer grinned at Bow’s quick response but she knew the real reason she was smiling.

I knoooooooow. I so happy

So you still think she hates you?

Her grin faltered for a moment before returning, slightly weaker than it had been before.

BLEH why’d you have to bring that upppppp

And I don’t know? Maybe she doesn’t hate me but she doesn’t have any reason NOT to

Glimmer i love you but you can be SO DENSE sometimes

She DOES have a reason not to hate you?? Maybe it’s possible that she thinks you’re smart and funny and talented? I don’t know tho- I’m just throwing stuff out here. Also she might actually LIKE you maybe as a friend,,, maybe more ;)

Glimmer snorted at Bow’s ranting. He was sweet and a far better friend than she could ever rationalize deserving. But he was high off his own optimistic ideals.

There is definitely nothing “more” I don’t even think we’re officially friends yet. More like uuuuhh acquaintances with benefits

OHOHO???

Glimmer immediately regretted her word choice, laughing as she buried her face in her hands.

NOT LIKE THAT. PERVERT.

She waited for Bow’s answer, laughing quietly at their ridiculous conversation. As the little dots marched to indicate Bow’s typing, a buzz and flag altered Glimmer that Adora had responded.

She texted back gotta go

Switching once more to her and Adora’s conversation, the first thing Glimmer found herself marveling at was her own stupidity. The giddy feeling that had been all-consuming now faded away as she reread her message. It sounded clingy and overly confident. It definitely felt worthy of the cringe the shuddered through her body and made her want to curl up in a ball. What had her euphoric-high brain been trying to do? Flirt? If so, she had desperately failed.

Still in embarrassed pain, she moved on to Adora’s message:

How many times do I have to tell you YES I want to talk to you.

But there was something in particular I wanted to talk to you about

The second part made Glimmer’s blood run cold. Adora continued typing but she didn’t dare respond, too frozen to type. All the stars that had been floating in her eyes crashed around her. So she did know. So Glimmer’s worst fears were reality. And there was nothing she could do about it now. After an eternity, Adora’s message finally jumped onto Glimmer’s screen.

It’s about this morning. Well and today. And last night. Kinda. I just feel like I might have made you uncomfortable last night, like I was being really clingy so then this morning I felt really awkward and I’m sorry if I came off as cold or anything. And then in class you seemed all tense and I was just wondering if I had crossed some lines or anything?

Glimmer could have sworn she heard a record scratch in her head, nearly getting whiplash from reading Adora’s message. The situation kept switching so quickly; as soon as she got one foot on the rug, it would be pulled out from under her and she would look down and it turn out she had been standing on raft in the middle of the ocean the entire time.

She squinted to reread the message one more time and gave a breathy laugh when she had determined she had read it correctly the first time. Adora was the one that thought she had crossed lines? It was ridiculous. It seemed so unrealistic, Glimmer nearly slipped into her original thinking of Adora. If only she hadn’t been forced to see that nuclear core that made up that crazy blonde. That would have made everything so much easier. She could just brush the whole message as a ploy to gain sympathy. But know she had to know better. Now, she had to acknowledge that Adora was being completely sincere.

Glimmer had no idea how to respond. Adora was being completely open, completely vulnerable; and it was terrifying. It was almost worse than when she was wrapped up in doubt. It was the difference between not knowing why someone was ill and knowing exactly what was wrong- all while being expected to find the solution. Except Glimmer wasn’t a doctor. She had no cure for the situation.

She forced confidence, pushing away all her question just long enough to respond.

Are you going to make a habit of sending me essays?

She immediately regretted how cold she sounded and hurriedly began trying to remedy the conversation.

I’m sorry but really you’re fine. I didn’t mind you... if I came across as stiff or weird about anything it’s just because I’m not really used to people getting that close that quickly

It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t the complete truth either, but it was close enough for now.

oh god I’m really sorry

What no?? I just said it was fine??

Still... that really sounds like I made you uncomfortable

Glimmer let out a sigh. She never thought she’d find herself trying to convince someone she was becoming increasingly infatuated with that it was ok to be close with her. It sounded strange when she thought about, but there was something endearing about how Adora barreled her way into Glimmer’s life and was now trying tiptoe out of the china shop.

I was a little surprised that’s all. You’re all good

Really? Even after I said I would kill weaver in class today?? You didn’t think that was weird??!

No lmao again I was a bit surprised but I mostly thought it was funny

You sure about that

Yep 100%

If you were in person right now you would hear me go hmmmmmmm

Glimmer snorted quietly out of her nose; Adora made her laugh at the stupidest things. She was entirely convinced that she would never be as funny as Adora, but she hoped she could bring her at least just a little bit of happiness.

Yeah well if you were in person right now you would see me roll my eyes and yell at you to stop being dumb

A shallow pain spread across Glimmer’s chest, a coat of lead paint over her heart; milky indigo weighing her down. If only Adora’s casual jokes were a reality. If only she were face to face with Adora. If only Adora’s face was inches from her own and quickly coming closer. Glimmer’s hands ached to run through Adora’s hair and her ears cried to hear Adora’s voice. She didn’t want to look anywhere if it wasn’t into the storm of Adora’s eyes. Her throat was hoarse from emotion but she would sing if it meant she could bear witness once more to the way Adora wove melodies out of the air.

Glimmer sat up as if startled from a dream. This- this, oh no. Oh shit. This has gone much too far. You should have stopped this before it even started. How did you even let this happen?

Glimmer had know Adora was beautiful since she saw her on the first day of school. Ignoring her and twisting her into some villain had made it a simple thing to deal with, but she couldn’t ignore the iceberg once her Titanic had begun sinking. And now she was officially sunk, water far above her head and no hope of survival to be seen.

There was a sliver of Glimmer- some crazy little fraction of her mind that had to scream to be heard- that just wanted to rip the band aid off. She wanted to stop giving all the power to other people. If someone was going to tell Adora that Glimmer had hopelessly fallen for her, it might as well come from the source.

She looked down at her phone, suddenly aware that Adora had responded.

Hey I gotta go I just wanted to check that we were ok! I’m glad you don’t mind me lmao

Glimmer took a deep breath, making an attempt to gather her thoughts. It was a hopeless effort, her mind fragmented across the room. Did Adora really worry that Glimmer “minded” her? Was there in way to describe the burning that struck in her chest whenever Adora gave her one of those soft grins- that dull ache that constricted her heart and seeped through her ribs. How could she ever reassure Adora she could never be bothersome when every one of her actions struck Glimmer with wonder? How could she even attempt to say such a thing with revealing everything, admitting her mind’s greatest fear? How could she try to convince Adora of something that she couldn’t even admit to herself.

Because the answer was quite simple. She loved Adora. Deeply and painfully. But no matter how perfect Adora was, it still felt dangerous to love her. To Glimmer, it was just as good as putting a target on her back. It was like saying HEY EVERYONE!! I’M ALREADY WEIRD AND SO SO DIFFERENT FROM YOU AND NOW I’M PUTTING THAT ON DISPLAY!

Glimmer was being pulled apart. She knew she shouldn’t show her affection to Adora. But she knew just as deeply and far more truly that she loved Adora- and keeping that inside of her would break her heart.

She threw or phone and thoughts (momentarily) aside, flopping backwards on her bed. Her body bounced slightly from the force of throwing herself down and it only added to the sensation that her head was floating away. There was just too much to tackle right now. Glimmer could tell from the growing pressure on her head that if she kept picking it all apart, the pressure would quickly shift; it would tighten around her lungs, making it hard to breathe and squeezing what she couldn’t force down to pour down her face.

Glimmer took a deep breath, through her nose and out her mouth- once, twice, three times, she lost count as she focused solely on the rhythm she was creating. These past few days had been chaotic and exhausting and good part of that had been created by her. She was tired. Her brain felt heavy as gravity retook control over her head. In fact, her whole body felt heavy; she was sinking deeper into her mattress with every exhale.

——————————————————————

When Glimmer woke up, the last hues of dusk just barely reached her window. It was obvious that the night had happily creeped onwards while she had slept. She must have been out for at least an hour.

Down the hall, she could hear voices of some TV show her mom was watching as they flickered out of the speakers.

Glimmer opened her door, peaking around the frame and looking down the hall. She could just see the top of her mother’s pastel hair above the top of the couch. In front of her, what looked like Hell’s Kitchen was playing. Glimmer was somewhat amazed that she had been able to sleep through Gordon Ramsey’s yelling.

She walked towards the living room and sat down next to Angella on the couch. She was asleep, hair mussed up in the back as she leaned up against the cushions. Glimmer felt a wave of affection wash over her. Whatever happened at school, whatever happened with Adora- hell, whatever happened within herself- she would always love her mother. Sometimes things got in the way of her remembering that.

Glimmer nudged her mom gently in the side, “Hey, wake up.”

Angella stirred, smiling as her gaze fell upon Glimmer, “Hey, dear.”

Glimmer squirmed under her mother’s softness, guilt over how she had acted earlier hitting her, “I’m really sorry. About how I treated you at dinner. I was really rude and nights like this are basically the only time we have together; I shouldn’t waste them being a brat to you.”

“You’re a teenager and we don’t exactly see eye to eye on everything- I expect this sort of thing to happen occasionally.”

“But I-“ Glimmer tried to argue but was cut off.

“But I appreciate you apologizing.”

“Mom!!” Glimmer felt like her mother should have been angrier, should have at least told her off for stomping down to her room as rudely as she had. And she had done it in response to her mom just trying her best to help. That must have hurt.

“Glimmer!!” Angella mirrored her daughter’s exasperation, “You really think I didn’t slam doors and yell and act out when I was your age? I don’t necessarily like it, but a little angsty rebellion is normal. Like I said, I expect some of this.”

“If you say so… just don’t expect to see it often,” Glimmer felt a smile tugging on the corners of her mouth. Her mom wasn’t exactly the most relaxed person but she understood Glimmer better than probably anybody else on the planet.

“Good,” Angella reached out and tucked one of Glimmer’s fluffy locks behind her ear, “I prefer when you talk to me instead of just hiding away in your room.”

“Yeah,” Glimmer laughed somewhat nervously because she totally didn’t do exactly that most of the time instead of talking to people.

“So… you want to tell me about that girl now?”

Glimmer tucked herself next to Angella’s side and turned to face the TV where Gordon Ramsey was berating a man for having rats in his kitchen, “No, not yet.”

She felt her mother shrug and smiled as Angella wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Drama could wait. And if she loved Adora? Well, she would deal with that later too.

Quick announcement that I am (FINALLY) starting a taglist for this fic, so if you are interested, please just send an ask or reply to this post <3

[trenchcoatkitten]

So I’ve been reading Temperature of the Heart, and you’ve mentioned how you have the whole thing written already. Can you describe what that’s like? What’s your writing process? How long does it take for you to write everything start to finish? Do you plan it all out or just kind of wing it? How long do you sit in an idea before you start?? Sorry about all the questions, I’m just so curious >_

bro!!! are you sure i will scream about writing for days omg

first of all THANK YOU its so freaking cool that you came to ask your questions and that you like my writing, im still sort of getting used to my writing not just being garbage that i read in the dark at 2am and never share with anybody, and i am always excited to answer questions waaaah 

(THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG I APOLOGIZE IM PUTTING A READING BREAK IN CAUSE I WENT OFF BRO, IM THE WOOOOORST) 

my process is pretty weird, it’s kind of all over the place? I’m kind of a halfway planner halfway pantser. I have an idea and usually make some disjointed notes about character and the main idea, in my phone or maybe on a google doc, and then a pinterest board maybe? Something to get excited about, a visualization. I ALWAYS tell myself im going to make an outline first and then i ALWAYS just jump right into writing because I’m too excited/impatient to wait. give me words on a page. give me dialogue. 

Usually when I’m a little bit into the project, when i know that I’m not going to abandon it to the depths off where my WIPs go to die (rip like literally over 300 individual and unique works, this is NOT an exaggeration, you should see my document bank its gross) Ill say “ok fuck you sami its time to actually know where you’re going” and I’ll sit down and make the grossest outline you have EVER seen. like im talking, my outlines are littered with memes, me yelling at myself, actual stuff thats going to end up in the final project, and just general random garbage? its so gross. Ive literally only showed one of my outlines to one person ever (hi akira!) bc im super self conscious of them and hate the way that i write them. making an outline usually sucks up an entire day of writing. they’re pages and pages because some parts will be INCREDIBLY specific and other parts will be so vague you dont even know

From there, when im done with my garbage outline, (after going back through what I’ve written and fixing the shit that was just me going off like a psycho) I usually start writing in earnest. I’ll highlight the parts of the outline that I’ve done and I’ll go back and check it often to make sure im following through on my plans and the character arcs and such, making sure that everything ties in and such. This section is me like. every day getting home from work or whatever and sitting down at the computer and not moving until 2am, this is the section where i forget to eat and I dont sleep enough and i forget to drink water or take my vitamins and I do word sprints with myself and have days where I write 10 thousand words in one sitting. (very not healthy and also terrible i do NOT recommend) this is the section where I’ll handwrite anything i can in the back of classes and at rehearsals because im pouring out words.

during this section I go back and edit ENDLESSLY. i cannot write something and just let it be. I go back to the section I wrote the night before, I go back to the section I just wrote, i go back to the very beginning. I generally dont have to do 1st 2nd 3rd draft this way, but it is much more time consuming as Im just writing. i dont know if i reccommend this its a MESS

THeN once i finish writing the whole thing, i sit down and reread/edit the whole thing once through. this makes sure i have good flow, the paragraphs go together well, the prose feels right to me, timelines make sense. during this time i make ENDLESS paper notes with calendars, section notes, additions, drabbles, thoughts about my own shit. i have notebooks full of just garbage. im not kidding. full notebooks. 

Once I finish that read/edit through I’m usually happy. only once something is completely finished will I consider posting. I go back too much, I add shit, I can’t let go of shit, not until it’s done. While I’m posting - I go through the chapter I’m going to post with a fine tooth comb, try to catch any tiny little mistake, add words here and there, but never change anything large if I can help it. Then i format it on Ao3 (this is literal hell, fuck the HTML editor it wants me to die) and then post it. Deciding to post a chapter to actually hitting ‘post’ usually takes me 1-4 hours, depending on the length, the difficulty of formatting, and how many goddamn links i wanna put in the chapter notes cause im the worst~ (insert jean ralphio voice) 

~~~

LISTEN im probably super extra but I’ve been writing since I was in sixth grade (thats twelve years! time is an enigma and i hate it!) and so I have a bit of practice, i have a bit of experience and while I’m not the best me that I can be, I KNOW myself, and this is just what works best for me. 

As for timing - it depends on the length of the project and how motivated I am. It took me about a month to write Royal (~50k), just a little over a month to write All Might’s All Night Shop Stop (~75k), and just about two months to write Temperature of the Heart (~115k). I try to post every few days, because as a person I hate waiting and I don’t want to do that to my readers! 

~~~

As for the ‘how long do i sit on an idea before writing it’ it really depends. Some things I will receive inspiration or a sliver of an idea and start writing it in the next ten minutes, even if I have to stop working on something I’m already working on, because that was Brain Has Decided. Sometimes I will consider an idea for like. months before actually doing it. I’ve had the idea for FBoW (the newest thing im working on oops? have i told anybody about this NO cause that will make it REAL) since before I started Royal, which was like. Last november. But I just couldnt quite do it for some reason, and it wasn’t pressing. My brain is super broken, and a lot of times I get sick over ideas. I can’t sleep or eat until I’ve written, and I will repeat phrases to myself until i can get them out of my head by writing them down. (Sometimes this is something nice or poetic - “The golden hour lights up the whole world, wiggling its fingers into every nook and cranny, lighting up two people lounging on a bench-swing, someone leaned onto porch stairs with a mug of tea, the space between those walking down a dirt road, a couple of dogs laid out on the deck.” and other times its literally “Ranch Fiddlesticks.” I’m not kidding. i have a note in my phone that says ranch fiddlesticks because I was actually going to Die if i didnt write it down.)

I do wish my brain didn’t do this - but I guess it makes some fun art, doesn’t it? 

WOW OKAY THIS WAS SO LONG im so sorry jesus christ. SOrry i will ALWAYS go off about my process and what it’s like to write. Writing is so so important to me, I LOVE it with every tiny atom of my weak, alcohol-infused, overworked heart. Despite how scary it is sometimes I am very glad to be sharing my work with the world, seeing peoples’ reactions and hearing things about my words, hearing how this little picture in my mind has gone into yours. 

okay jfc im done now im so sorry. thank you again and again and again, a thousand times over, for reading my work and enjoying the worlds that i enjoy building. It makes me feel like I’m worth it. It makes me feel like I’m doing something good. 

ily :’)

[cristinablackthornkingson]

Shadowhunters Short Story #40 Baby Carstairs #2.

It is a warm summer’s day in 2014 and Kit Herondale has found himself spending his summer playing with his little sister Mina. Right now they are playing ‘Eye Spy’ which Mina always cheats at, not choosing an object until the end when Kit has guessed almost every object in the room. He didn’t mind of course, he thought it was funny and cute. 

“I spy wif my little eye somfin the color of blue!” Mina exclaims, bouncing up and down in her seat in delight. She loved playing with her big brother, it was one of her favorite things to do, she adored him so very much and thought he was one of the best people ever to exist, alongside her daddy and Uncle Magnus. 

“My jeans?” Kit asks, pulling at the cuff of his jeans.

“Nu uh!” Mina says, shaking her head, black curls flying everywhere. 

“My eyes?” Kit asks. 

“No silly!” Mina giggles. 

“Hmmm, dad’s jacket?” Kit asks, looking at Jem’s blue jacket hanging up by the door. Tessa and Jem had always been so kind and loving to him, they made him feel so loved and cared for and safe, shortly after Mina was born Kit had gotten so use to Jem and Tessa being referred to as ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’ that he started to call them mum and dad too, they didn’t make a big deal or fuss out of it, for which he was extremely grateful. 

“Nope!” Mina exclaims, popping the ‘P.’ 

“I don’t know Min-Min, I give up.” Kit says. 

“Your socks!” Mina says, pointing at Kit’s bright blue socks that Ty had gotten him for their first anniversary because he knew Kit was always in need of socks.  He and Ty had first reunited shortly after Mina. was born, Emma was forever visiting here in Devon and often when Kit couldn’t watch Mina, Emma would.  When Mina was 2 months old, Ty came with Emma one day to meet Mina. He and Kit got to talking and quickly became friends again. Shortly after that Kit worked up the courage to tell Ty how he felt about him and to his great surprise and delight, Ty felt the same about him. Now they had been dating for almost 2 years and they have been the best two years of Kit’s life.

“Ah good one!” Kit says, smiling brightly at his sister. 

“My turn!” Mina exclaims, even though she just had a turn.

“No way you just went!” Kit says in a light tone. 

“Having fun you two?” Kit hears Tessa ask. He twists around on the sofa and sees her standing in the doorway, smiling at both her children. 

“Uh hu! I winnin’ mama!” Mina says.

“My clever girl.” Tessa says, walking over and kissing her daughter’s forehead. “When your dad gets back we need to talk to you two.” She lightly adds. Jem was out picking up some things from the store, and should be back very soon.

“I’m not in trouble am I?” Kit cautiously asks, wondering if Tessa and Jem were finally fed up of him and want him gone, he wouldn’t blame them of course but he would miss them and Mina if they did ask him to go. 

“No not at all, we just need to tell you something.” Tessa assures him. 

Approximately half an hour later Mina is curled up in Kit’s lap watching Paw Patrol and Kit is scrolling through his messages from Dru which are mostly memes and pictures of Cristina, Mark and Kieran’s daughter Amelia, who is a few months old, dressed in the most adorable pink onsie with white llamas printed on it, along with a big pink bow holding her black curls back from her face. She looks just like Kieran and is absolutely adored by all her aunts and uncles, no doubt Emma bought that onsie for her and Helen probably bought her the hairband. 

As the credits roll for paw patrol, the front door swings open and Jem steps in with two shopping bags, one in each hand. 

“Daddy!” Mina exclaims, taking her thumb out of her mouth and grinning at him. Jem smiles at her and walks over to her and Kit. 

“Hi my babies.” Jem softly says, bending to kiss his daughter’s forehead and ruffling Kit’s hair.

“Dad! I’m not a baby!” Kit says in a tone of embarrassment, blushing bright red.

“You’re 17, you are absolutely a baby.” Jem jokingly says.

“Silly daddy, Kitty big boy, not baby!” Mina giggles, finding it hilarious that her dad thought her big strong, tall brother was a baby.

“You are too sweet.” Jem says, scooping Mina up and kissing her cheek. “Shall we go see how mama is?” Poor Tessa has been very sick these last few days, she hasn’t been able to do much because she’s felt so unwell, Kit assumed she has some sort of bug and just hopes he doesn’t get it too. 

“Uh hu!” Mina says, wrapping her arms around the back of Jem’s neck.

Jem makes his way upstairs to his and Tessa’s room, with Mina in his arms. Tessa is lying in the bed (which hadn’t been made that day because she felt so ill and Jem had gone out to get her some things before he remembered to make the bed) looking very pale and tired. 

“How are you feeling love?” Jem softly asks, sitting beside her with Mina in his lap. 

“A bit better now, I went downstairs to check on Kit and Mina but then I started to feel really sick again so I had to come lie down for a bit.” Tessa says in a tired tone.

“I picked up some anti-nausea tablets in the pharmacy for you.” Jem says, taking a small packet of tablets out of his pocket and handing them to Tessa.

“You’re a gem.” Tessa says in an appreciative tone. Jem grins at her and says

“I know, that’s my name.” Tessa laughs and kisses his cheek. 

“We should tell the kids today.” Tessa quietly says, as Mina scrambles off the bed and chases after Church. 

“Do you feel up to it?” Jem gently asks. 

“Yeah, I really want them to know.” 

An hour later, once Tessa has taken some of her anti-nausea medication and doesn’t feel as awful, she and Jem go downstairs to talk to Kit and Mina.

“So.. what do you need to talk to us about?” Kit nervously asks, wringing his hands together. 

“Well... I’m sure you’ve been wondering why I’ve been so sick lately.” Tessa says, looking at Kit. 

“I just assumed you had some sort of bug.” Kit says, shrugging his shoulders. 

“No, no it’s not that at all. I’m pregnant.” Tessa softly says, placing a hand over her stomach. She had started feeling the symptoms very early on, she recognized them immediately. Once she told Jem, he summoned The Silent Brothers. Brother Enoch confirmed the pregnancy and told them they were having another girl. She and Jem were and are absolutely thrilled.

“Really? You hear that Min-Min? You’re going to a big sister!” Kit says in a tone of delight, smiling at his little sister, who’s eyes have gone wide with amazement. 

“Baby?” Mina curiously asks. 

“Yes Mina mine, mama’s got a baby in her tummy.” Jem softly says, grasping Tessa’s hand in his and smiling at his daughter. 

“Kitty you teach me how be good big sister?” Mina asks, looking up at Kit with pleading brown eyes. She wanted to be just as amazing as her big brother and wanted her little brother or sister to love her just as much as she loves her big brother. 

“Of course I will Min-min, you’re going to be a wonderful big sister.” Kit softly says.

“Are you excited to be a big sister Min?” Tessa asks in a tone of excitement. 

“Uh hu! Love baby!” Mina says.

“You should upload a pregnancy reveal to your YouTube Channel as a way to tell everyone else.” Kit jokingly says. When he had first moved in with Jem and Tessa he spent most of his time watching YouTube videos, Jem was fascinated by it and Tessa started to really enjoy sitting down and watching videos with Jem and Kit. When Tessa was 6 months pregnant with Mina, Jem asked Kit to help him start a YouTube channel where he could upload videos of him playing his violin. Soon after that Tessa started uploading book reviews to the channel as well as some pregnancy updates but she went back to only posting book reviews when Mina was born, she wasn’t comfortable having her on camera a lot.

“That’s an excellent idea Kit! That would be a lovely way to tell everyone else and we won’t have to make countless phone calls to tell everyone else.” Jem says. 

“I was just kidding!” Kit says, hoping that Tessa and Jem wouldn’t rope him into a pregnancy reveal, Dru would never stop teasing him about it and Mark would never stop going on about how sweet, cute and precious it is. 

“We’re not, I think it would be nice to do a pregnancy reveal video and as your dad said it’s much easier than calling everyone to let them know.” Tessa says. 

A few days later Tessa and Jem arrive home from a scan with three letter boards and a scan picture. Tessa would receive most of her prenatal care from The Silent Brothers, but she and Jem really wanted to have a scan too and Catarina was able to organize one for them at their local hospital. Though Tessa was more use to technology than Jem was, she was equally shocked and awed when she saw her baby curled up inside her, she had never had a scan before, they didn’t exist when she was pregnant with Jamie and Lucie and she never had one with Mina either.

As Jem checks on Mina and Kit upstairs, Tessa sits down at the kitchen table and starts spelling out the kids names on each letter board. She and Jem planned to film and upload the pregnancy reveal today, now that they have chosen a name for their daughter. 

About 40 minutes later Tessa has finished the letter boards and Jem has changed Mina from her pajamas into a beautiful ruby red knitted top and jeans, which Emma had bought for her. 

“Why do I have to be involved in this?” Kit grumbles as Tessa sets up the camera. He didn’t actually mind being part of this, but it was slightly embarrassing. 

“Because you’re part of the family and our son, it wouldn’t feel right without you.” Tessa says. Kit can’t help but grin in delight when Tessa calls him family, for the first time in his life he is finally part of a family and with people who really love him and care about him. He had no doubt his birth mother loved him, but he has no memories of her, just one picture he found in his dad’s room of her sitting up in a bed, gazing down at Kit in her arms, just after he had been born.

Tessa gives Kit his letter board which has ‘Christopher Jonathon Herondale- Ke Carstairs.’ and his birthday spelled out on it, and has him sit on the sofa, then she places Mina next to him and hands her a letter board with ‘Wilhelmina Yiqiang  Ke Carstairs’ and her birthday spelled out on it. Then Tessa sits at the end of the sofa and places the third letter board over her stomach. The third letter board spells out ‘Charlotte Bi Ke Carstairs, coming March 2015′ and at the bottom of the letter board is a scan picture of the baby.

The next day in Los Angeles, Emma logs onto YouTube to do some research for a mission she and Julian have been assigned. A bunch of mundanes in the local area have been playing a lot of paranormal games like The Midnight man and summoning demons which are obviously causing a lot of harm. Alec has asked her and Julian to do some research on these games and to find mundanes who are playing these games and stop them. Dru told her there were a lot of good videos on YouTube with lots of information on these games so she decided to take a look today. When she pulls up her home page, Emma quickly checks her notifications and sees there’s a new video from Jem and Tessa titled ‘We have something to tell you.’ She clicks on the video and leans forward to watch curiously.

The video opens with a shot of Kit sitting on the sofa looking half thrilled half mortified, holding a letter board that spells out ‘Christopher Jonathon Herondale-Ke Carstairs, February 22nd 1997.’ then it pans to a grinning Mina who is holding a letter board that says ‘Wilhelmina Yiqiang Ke Carstairs, March 14th 2013.’ then the camera pans to Tessa who is also grinning widely and holding a letter board over her stomach that says ‘Charlotte Bi Ke Carstairs, coming April 2015.’ 

Emma sits back with a gasp as the video ends. She grabs her phone and quickly dials Jem’s number. 

“Hello Emma!” Jem answers in a cheery tone, a few seconds later.

“Tessa’s pregnant?” Emma asks in a high pitched tone. Jem chuckles and says

“You saw our video, then?” 

“Yes! Why didn’t you tell me?” Emma asks. 

“We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while and when we told Kit and Mina, Kit suggested we upload a pregnancy reveal and Tessa and I thought it was a lovely idea and much easier than making countless phone calls.” Jem calmly explains.

“Oh I’m so happy for you! I can’t believe Min-Min’s going to be a big sister!” Emma exclaims. 

“Neither can I but I can’t wait to see her with her sister, she’ll be wonderful, she has such wonderful role models in you and Kit.” Jem softly says. Emma was like a big sister to Mina and Mina just adores her and idolizes her, she thought she was one the most amazing, bravest women ever.

“She certainly will, I have to come visit soon!” Emma says. 

“We would love that, we all miss you so much!” Jem says. 

“Maybe I could come stay for a bit when the baby is born.” Emma softly suggests. 

“That would be lovely, you’re always welcome here, you’re family.” Jem says.

“Thanks Jem. Oh, I better go see if Cristina needs a hand, I can hear Amelia crying and Mark and Kieran are out.” Emma says. 

“Of course, see you soon okay?” Jem says. 

“Yeah see you soon, bye.” Emma says before hanging up and hurrying down the hall to the nursery. 

Throughout the next few weeks of her second trimester, Tessa still feels horribly sick and unwell, it is worse some days than others but she is very lucky that she can rest as much as she needs to while Jem and Kit look after Mina, she has no idea what she would do if she were on her own, though that would never really happen, Magnus, Catarina and Ragnor would never leave her on her own or not support her.

Once her sickness clears up, Tessa has a smooth, healthy pregnancy with regular check ups from The Silent Brothers. Almost everyday after work Catarina comes around to visit and make sure Tessa doesn’t need anything, just like she did when Tessa was pregnant with Mina. Catarina is Mina’s godmother and Magnus is her godfather, they are both wonderful, loving guides for Mina who she adores so much. She and Jem have decided to ask Emma to be Charlotte’s godmother and plan to ask Alec to be her godfather. 

Throughout her pregnancy Tessa started uploading pregnancy updates to YouTube again, she enjoyed doing them a lot since she wasn’t accepting many clients through her pregnancy, it gave her something to do. She planned to do a video with Charlotte when she is born so that all their distant friends and family can see her, but then she would stop and just send pictures and short videos to everyone, she wasn’t comfortable with the girls being on camera very much, the internet is full of horrible, dangerous people who would want to hurt her daughters. 

Right now Tessa is 9 months pregnant, just weeks from her due date, they had just celebrated Kit’s birthday at the end of February,Mina will turn three in March and Charlotte is due in April. it is rather special that all 3 of their children’s birthday were one month after the other but it meant that Spring was a very busy time for The Carstairs. 

Tessa and Jem had just woken up about half an hour ago, Jem is finishing getting dressed before he goes down to make breakfast and Tessa is sitting on the bed, needing a breather after she got dressed. At 9 months pregnant she easily got out of breath and is extremely tired and lethargic all the time, the baby was already 7lbs, though she felt about 20lbs. 

As Tessa sits waiting for the baby to stop kicking so roughly, she hears little footsteps padding into the room and looks up to see Mina coming into the room, her black hair in total disarray, she is still dressed in her pajamas and is sucking on her thumb. 

“Good morning baby.” Tessa softly says, as Mina scrambles up beside her. Mina totally ignores her mother and crawls into her lap, wraps her arms around her bump and rests her head on the bump.

“I wove you Charlie.” Mina softly says, cuddling further into Tessa’s stomach. Tessa’s heart swells with love and joy. 

“Oh Min, you’re so sweet, I can’t wait to see you with your sister.” Tessa softly says, brushing her daughter’s hair back from her face.

“Mama she come soon?” Mina asks in a hopeful tone. 

“Yes baby very soon.” Tessa softly says. 

A few minutes later Jem, Tessa and Mina head downstairs to the kitchen to have breakfast. Mina immediately runs to play with Kit in the living room. For a few minutes Tessa stands in the doorway to the living room watching Mina and Kit, until she starts to feel a familiar pain in her lower abdomen. She pulls out her phone to time the pains and is relieved to find they are at least 15 minutes apart, though that doesn’t mean Charlotte won’t be making her arrival soon, when Lucie was born Tessa’s contractions were 20 minutes apart when she started feeling them, but within half an hour they were 5 minutes apart and she was feeling the urge to push, there was nothing to say that wouldn’t happen this time. 

Tessa makes her way back into the kitchen where Jem is standing over the stove cooking breakfast with Church slinking around his feet, obviously looking for some attention. 

“Jem.” Tessa says, slowly making her way over to him. He turns and smiles at her, his eyes lit up with joy.

“Are you alright love?” Jem asks.

“I think it’s time, I think I’m having contractions.” Jem drops the wooden spoon with a clatter and rushes off without a word, to summon The Silent Brothers.

When Brother Enoch arrives, he confirms that the pains Tessa has been feeling are contractions. Jem briefly leaves Tessa to let Kit know that the baby is on the way. He then goes back up to Tessa and quickly sends a message to Emma and Magnus letting them know that the baby is coming and asking them to let all their other friends and family know. 

Tessa’s labor is short but painful, only 1 hour after feeling her first contraction, she feels the urge to push and after only 40 minutes of pushing, Tessa feels a weight lift from her and before she knows it she’s listening to her baby crying. 

“Jem, is she okay?” Tessa asks in a breathless tone, clutching his hand tightly. 

“Yes, she’s perfect just like her big sister and brother.” Jem quietly says, leaning down to kiss Tessa’s forehead as the midwife cleans the baby down and wraps her up in blankets. 

A few minutes later the midwife passes the baby to Tessa, who immediately pulls her closer and peppers her little face in kisses. 

“Hi Charlotte my sweet girl, I love you so much.” Tessa softly says, holding her daughter tight and close. 

“Your big sister is going to absolutely adore you my love, and your big brother.” Jem softly says, gently stroking Charlotte’s flushed pink cheek. 

“Oh Jem I can’t believe we made her, and Mina” Tessa quietly says, gazing at her daughter, still in awe of the life she and Jem have made together. 

“Neither can I, they’re both so perfect, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have such an amazing life, three amazing children and you, the love of my life, as my wife.” Jem says in a tone soft as a whisper, leaning in to kiss his wife’s cheek. 

A little while later Kit and Mina come up to meet their sister. Mina is immediately infatuated with her sister and is so sweet and gentle with her. 

“Mama look she got eyes like you!” Mina exclaims in an excited tone, as she cradles her sister and looks at her in amazement. Tessa pulls Charlotte’s’ blankets back and sees that she has opened her eyes wide, to reveal big grey eyes just like Tessa. 

“So she does, do you love her as much as you always said you would?” Tessa softly asks. 

“Uh uh! I be best big sista eva! Oh! Mama, daddy I ask you somfin?” Mina asks. 

“Of course love.” Jem says. 

“Can we adopt Ty-Ty?” Mina asks in a deadly serious tone, surprising her parents and brother.

“Adopt him?” Tessa asks, wondering if she heard Mina right.

“Uh hu! He no got a mama and papa, they wif the angel but he need a mama and papa! So can we adopt him? Please?” Mina asks in a pleading tone.

“Baby it’s very sweet that you love Ty so much but though he may not have his mum and dad, he has Helen and Aline and Mark and all his other siblings who love him and look after him, Ty loves you very much but I don’t think he would want to leave his brothers and sisters in LA, you wouldn’t want to leave Kit or Charlotte, would you?” Tessa gently explains. Mina shakes her head vigorously. 

“Don’t worry Min-Min, Ty has lots of people who love him and care about him, and he’s a Centurion, he’s super smart and can look after himself, you don’t need to worry about him okay?” Kit gently says, brushing his sister’s hair back.

“Oh okay!” Mina says. 

About half an hour later, as Kit is holding Charlotte and fussing over her, they hear a knock downstairs at the front door. Jem and Tessa share a look of confusion, they weren’t expecting anyone. Jem quietly makes his way from the room, shutting the door tightly behind him, before making his way downstairs. When he opens the front door and sees who is standing there, his fear and worry immediately vanish.

“Emma!” Jem says in a tone of delight, pulling her into a hug. “We weren’t expecting you.” He softly adds. 

“I know but when I got your text that the baby was coming, I thought I would come and surprise you all, you don’t mind do you?” Emma asks, as she pulls back from the embrace. 

“No of course not, Tessa will be so pleased to see you! Come meet your cousin.” Jem says in a joyful tone, ushering her inside. 

Once they get upstairs Jem leads her straight to his and Tessa’s room where she and the kids are. 

“Look who I found.” Jem says, pushing open the door to his and Tessa’s room and stepping aside to let Emma past. Tessa’s face lights up when she sees her, as do Mina and Kit’s. 

“Memma!” Mina shrieks, launching herself off the bed and running to Emma. 

“Hi Min-Min!” Emma says, scooping her little cousin up and kissing her little cheek. 

“Memma I big sister now!” Mina proudly exclaims. 

“So I heard, can you introduce me to her?” Emma softly asks, setting Mina down.

“Uh hu! Come see!” Mina says, grabbing Emma’s hand and dragging her over to Tessa’s bedside where little Charlotte was fast asleep in her bassinet. Emma’s heart swells with love when she sees her, she has a few wisps of brown hair like Tessa’s , she has Jem’s pallor, bone structure and eye shape while she has Tessa’s mouth and nose shape. 

“Oh Tess, Jem, she’s so beautiful.” Emma quietly says, gazing down at the sleeping baby in awe. 

“Just like her cousin.” Tessa softly says, smiling widely at Emma, delighted to see her. Emma smiles back and takes a sit next to Kit. 

“Hey dork.” Emma says in an affectionate tone, ruffling his hair. 

“Ahh! It took me hours to style my hair this morning!” Kit exclaims, pushing Emma’s hand away. 

“Since when do you care about your hair?” She asks in an amused tone. 

“Since he started dating Ty of course.” Tessa says in a teasing tone. 

“Next thing we know he’ll be dressing in suits and writing poetry for Ty.” Jem chimes in. Kit groans and buries his face in his hands.

“Oh my god you are all so embarrassing!” He says in a muffled voice.

“It’s our job dummy, you’re just lucky Jace isn’t here to tease you too.” Emma says, lightly bumping his shoulder with hers. 

“Or Magnus.” Tessa adds in an amused tone. Magnus always referred to himself as Kit’s Uncle and was always trying to give him advice and dating tips, Kit was always mortified by him and refused to call him ‘Uncle Magnus’ like Magnus wanted.

“Uggh when they come to meet Charlotte I’m hiding from them.” Kit exclaims. Though he hates how his parents and other relatives tease him and embarrass the hell out of him, secretly he wouldn’t have it any other way, this is what is to be part of a family and Kit couldn’t be more thrilled to be part of this family, even if they were the most embarrassing people ever to exist. 

[originallonemagpie]

The annual Xmas end of year meme

1. What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?

Fought in an armoured tournament, won an SCA fencing tournament.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

As I say every year, I don't make them. The way you live your life is for life, not just New Year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not that I know of.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, very much so- my ex (and mother of my ex-stepson if you want to look at it that way), Gina. She was three years younger than me, only 46 at the time. That's somewhat... hard to take in, at that age.

5. What countries did you visit?

None outside the mainland UK.

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?

Calm and a lack of backstabbing would be nice. Satisfaction. Such limited ambitions as I have in the SCA would be nice.

It'd be nice to be a convention guest again.

7. What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Several, related to death and backstabbing. June 9th maybe qualifies, being a good day of fighting demo in good weather, followed by the nearest to hypoing I've had in three years, and it being Gina's memorial day.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting a regular paying gig. I hope I can keep it.

Fighting for Dame Leonet - Lynette - in Coronet *the morning after being in quite a bad state) and getting nine kills for her (albeit one discounted due to a hold being called, and so officially only 8)

9. What was your biggest failure?

I'm sure there are too many to choose from. We worked out this time last that by the end of this year we'd be debt-free. We are, of course, exactly as far behind as we were this time last year.

The warranted-as-a-Marshal thing never happened.

If I don't keep the regular paying gig, then we'll retroactively know that was it, though.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing major this time, just the usual ongoing. I'm annoyed that my HBAC number rose in the summer, and there was a bit of a mild concussion after doing the Sunday breakfast at Yule Ball.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Farpoint, my longbow.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Lesley of course. Anne, without whom I doubt we could live; Lynette, who sponsored my Provost prize-play; Yannick, Helena Vestfjord and Vitus and family; Catherine Sherwell, who turned out so great on the fencing field in the summer; Sue Griffiths; Rebekah Wells, who's made such nice stuff for Lesley... probably lots of other people.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Well if you've been following this page, you can probably take a wild stab in the dark at the convention backstabber and SCA ones too.

14. Where did most of your money go?

As last year- Bills and arrears and SCA adventures.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I'm not sure I'm capable of being really excited about anything any more. Let down too many times.

16. What song will always remind you of 2018?

I dunno.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Both; my extremes seem to be swinging wider. Mainly it's angrier and more hurt rather than sadder.

ii. thinner or fatter? Exactly the same, 12 stone, by intentional maintenance, as it's my idea weight.

iii. richer or poorer? Richer, if you can call it that.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Archery with Farpoint.

Fencing/choreography/self defence workshops teaching and coaching, as I always say.

Orgies and bisexual depravity

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Having needles stuck in my eyeballs. Been stabbed in the back and thus mired in bitterness. (Yes, I know all about the mindfulness stuff to let things go, and I try, but it just... doesn't work for that. I have a long memory and a capacity for forgiveness limited only to those I love.)

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Playing Assassin's Creed Unity on the sparkly new Xbox One. And still working.

21. How will you be spending New Year's?

Hoping the Dr Who special isn't shit. Hanging out in York.

As always, I like to write a bit of something completely new on January 1st, and maybe watch something completely new,

22. Did you fall in love in 2018?

I've said in previous years that I fall in love anew every day, or every time I see the person, with those I've fallen in love with (so, Lesley, obviously)- but if you mean with a new person, no.

23. How many one-night stands?

None.

24. What was your favorite TV program(s)?

Star Trek Discovery, Westworld, Lucifer, The Flash, Legends Of Tomorrow, Murdoch Mysteries, Dr Who, etc

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Ah, yes... You have been paying attention to previous answers, right?

26. What was the best book you read?

Probably Red Country by Joe Abercrombie (fiction) or Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein (nonfiction)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

The score for Outlander, maybe.

28. What did you want and get?

Finally, regular paid contracts! I just hope I can keep them next year.

An Xbox One.

The rank of Provost in the Academy of Defence.

29. What did you want and not get?

The warranting as Rapier Marshal that I was told in the spring I was ready for.

To be a guest at a convention again, as I had been booked for.

To visit my dad in Scotland as planned.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

Deadpool 2

31. What did you do on your birthday?

It's next week, so hasn't happened yet. Last year... I think I went to look for bargains in CEX.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Putting Lynette on the ID throne.

Not failing to get things done.

Otherwise, examine the preceding answers and take a wild fucking guess.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?

Clothed. Occasionally with armour. Or just Sith (not a typo)

34. What kept you sane?

Nothing.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I dunno, honestly.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Brexit, obviously.

37. Who did you miss?

The ones who are too far away, the ones who are dead, and the one who moved from the first category to the second.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Alka, maybe, or Baby Alex?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018:

Not so much learned as had some  - like “Trust no-one” - reinforced.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

We returned to port with sorrow in our chests / An evil shadow followed us on every quest (Captain Morgan's Revenge, Alestorm)

[jinnielovebot]

soft bias tag! ♡

tagged by @bangs-chan @bangchans @seungminty THANK U I LOVE U 

ok for real this tag was actually rlly fun to do :’)))

tagging: @jeongin @himeaegyo @hanjisunng @reosian @3rxcha @doublekn0t @felixeslee @jiisung henlo pls ignore if u have alrdy done this love u btw

DISCLAIMER: i get rlly mushy in this because every hour is softjin hour ;(

who is your bias?

kim seungmin hwang hyunjin!

what made you notice them?

ajsdjahdg his voice!! tbh his voice was actually the reason i got into sk in the first place ahahjsd LMAO can u believe i havent swerved for the last 8 months DAMN im loyal anyways im rlly particular when it comes to rapper n their voices n hyunjins rap part in hellevator just,,,fit in so seamlessly,,,and it just sounded so smooth n perfect nd you bet your sweet arse i did a Phat double take when his part came on in the song

what’s your favorite thing about them?

u want me to pick just one?????????

OKAY LIKE i think my absolute favorite thing abt him that made me LOVE him is like how hardworking he is like duirng the show when jyp criticized him a lot :((((( he still worked super hard even if he was a lil bit discouraged but in the end he!! did!! That!!!!! nd like i love that quality of him and i honestly look up to it like being able to work super hard n want to improve even after lots of criticism is so hard for me but watching him b so motivated n determined just makes me ;;____;; and wow he just alwys wants to learn!! and improve!! wow i m in love with him

OTHER THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HIM include how cute n cuddly he is like,,,,always clinging onto everyone else like how do u not love that and i also love the way he smiles and laughs like my god u thought the sun was bright?? well then u havent seen his smile ://// i love the way his eyes just kinda scrunch up when he laughs and its the Cutest thing EVER and every time he smiles or does his little scrunch thing i rlly. RLLY. just wanna kiss him but u didnt hear that from me ;u;

who would initiate skinship more?

probably him bc im shy af asjdkas and i can imagine just walking beside him when he randomly just takes my hand or swings his lanky af arm around me

who would hog blankets more?

ME bc im needy and i get cold easily :’D

who would be more clingy?

he wld be more physically clingy but i think i wld be more mentally clingy bc i get sad when im apart from people 

who would say ‘i love you’ first?

i think he’d say it first just bc he doesnt seem like he gives any craps LMAO n would just go for it asjkdah i’d be way too shy to say anything first

who would be more easily flustered?

me bc i could just look at him and then get flustered let alone talk to him n be near him 

what cuddling position would you two have?

he’d be the big spoon because have u seen how tall he is and then i’d be the little spoon because have u seen how small i am LMAOO but sometimes i would wanna face him so i can like throw my leg over him like a pillow if u know what i mean

which colors remind you of them and why?

peach and warm pink!! bc he’s a peach :(((( but i think its bc when i think of him i  literally think of the sun and jus t how bright he is

which season would you like to spend with them?

winter!! bc imagine cuddling under blankets and watching movies and eating snacks in the dark w him while we wait for it to be midnight on christmas eve :( and also its sweater weather so him!! wearing hoodies!! all the time!!

i would luv spending summer with him too tho bc imagine all the late night dates we could go on since it doesnt get cold (in cali at least) at night nd spending all day doing dum stuff like the dum lovers we are :(((

who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

LMAO GOOD ONE you can bet u will see us at the store buying premade cookies bc we dont got the time nor the skills to be baking

which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

honestly both of us would make bad puns it would just depend on the day and the other would react like “i suddenly am single” every time

who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

both of us bc we lov kkami and want more friends for kkami :’((

which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

this is a trick question bc both of us would burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart

who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

fun fact i’m deathly afraid of heights so he would probably be the one leaning over the railings and then i’m pulling him back telling him how one day he’s gonna fall over n how he should give me all his stuff when he writes his will

what would watching a horror film with them be like?

id be under the blanket and covering my eyes for dear LIFE while hes laughing and tryna pry my hands away from my eyes AND HE’D PROBABLY TRY TO PRANK/SCARE ME LATER AFTER THE MOVIE ASKDJHAHSDKJ

who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

im the cheesy flirt bc i barely know how to flirt at all meanwhile

him: is doing nothing at all

me: god can u stop flirting with me already

who is more competitive?

IM SO COMPETITIVE AHSKJD im the type of person that says “wait best out of 3″ LMFAO so i can imagine us making a bet over smthn and then the loser has to pay for food and ill get petty and ask for a best out of 3 match LOL

who would have to be given constant reminders? (remember to eat, don’t forget your keys, etc)

also me bc i get distracted super easily and i forget to eat and sleep literally every day

who sends memes and who sends cute ‘i miss you’ texts at 3AM?

he sends the i miss you texts n then i respond in reaction memes

him: i miss you

me: 

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.23

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23

i wrote this because being on tumblr and seeing posts about taz hurt my heart. i was going to make this silly and meme-y, but honestly? i wasn’t feeling it. ive been having a Weird Time, and having something so important to me end earlier the day i started this didn’t help.

and then today happened and just.........i am So Tired

we’ll get back to the goofs next time, but i tried to make the end of this chapter a bit lighter? yeah i failed (multivitamin = adrien, mystic dragon = nino, monster alarm = alya, elfen whatever the heck = mari)

hail and well met all. i hope you enjoy

3:21 in orange wake up mari!!!

multivitamin: Do you ever stare at the ceiling and think about the future And realize you have literally just No clue what you’re doing And you don’t know if you’ll be happy Or successful And you’re just looking at the ceiling And debating your entire life And looking at all these choices you have to make and paths you have to choose And what you HAVE chosen so far and how it’s shaped your life And how everything could be different if you had just changed That one thing But you didn’t And now you’re here Staring at the ceiling

3:57

mystic dragon: one sec i cant do this with this nicknam e

mystic dragon has changed their nickname to mental support

mental support: first things first you ok? you dont sound ok

multivitamin has changed their nickname to existential crisis

existential crisis: I’m fine just Feels weird

mental support: dude im sorry i wish i could tell you that itll all be good but we both know thats a fucking lie but man youve got so much going for you youre talented as fuck you come from an amazing family youre an awesome person youre super smart its chill if you dont know what you wanna do right now weve got time and the past is the past we cant change it (and yo if we could we really really shouldnt) so like…why get hung up on it ok that was bad wording its super easy to get hung up on it especially when its ass oclock in the morning and your brain hates you   just like deep breaths man youre gonna be ok id hug you if i could but none of our parents would be chill with that

existential crisis: …… Can we do a call

mental support: of course you dont even have to ask gimme a sec to grab headphones and turn on a light

existential crisis: Ok

PM between mental support and existential crisis

4:06: Call started

6:35 in orange wake up mari!!!

monster alarm has changed their name to love and support

love and support: in this chat we love and support adrien agreste and each other

love and support has renamed this conversation to in this house we love and respect each other

love and support: brains suck and im sorry u feel like this marsh least it decided to hit u w/ that on a weekend r u feeling any better??

existential crisis: Yeah a little I might go take a nap in a little bit

love and support: sleep is great 10/10 would recommend its like practice for death

mental support: why are you up al?

love and support: sisters they were moving around attempting to make toast or something an d knocke dover some pots now we r all up im trying to convince my mom to make pancakes

mental support: best of luck dude

love and support: ill send you them somehow if she does

PM between mental support and existential crisis

7:13: Call ended: 3 hours 5 minutes 42 seconds

existential crisis: Thank you

mental support: anything for you dude <3 love you. sleep well

existential crisis: I love you too

PM between existential crisis and elfentrank fairy drink

existential crisis: I wish we could tell them

8:36 in in this house we love and respect each other

elfentrank fairy drink: Does this mean  I need to change my nicknam e

love and support: yes

elfentrank fairy drink: Ok um Hol d on a sec

love and support: take ur time babe

elfentrank fairy drink: Got it

elfentrank fairy drink has changed their nickname to snack support

love and support: amazing im proud of u

snack support: I do have snack s I need to go find breakfast brb 

PM between existential crisis and snack support

snack support: I wish we could too One day???

13:20 in in this house we love and respect each other

mental support: sup dudes i just had the wildest dream it involved clouds, adrien flying, and like 50 cats brains are fucking weird

snack support: That is so many cats Too many cats

love and support: no such thing

snack support: Youre a dog person???

love and support: and?? i want to die under a pile of animals that love me soft and fluff

mental support: yo al did you ever get your pancakes

love and support: yessss mom is The Best the twins drowned theirs in choclate sauce

mental support: hell yeah got any left over??

love and support: yup want lunch?

mental support: *breakfast just woke up im supposed to clean the apartment today but my moms might not mind me leaving for a bit

love and support: nah i wanna get out of the house for a while besides i wanna chill w my bf without the twins annoying me @mari @adri u 2 want any? i can swing by and/or pick u up on my way

mental support: i think hes still knocked out hopefully he is anyway he looked really tired last night this morning he better still be sleep

snack support: Im good al but thanks! Spend some time with your bf without me in the way

mental support: yo wtf

love and support: u!! r not in the way!!!!!!

mental support: ^^^

snack support: Its fine really!!! Ive got a dress to work on today!!!!

mental support: youre sure?? youre not just giving us space??

snack support: Yeah Im positive Ill send updates The pattern is kicking my ass

love and support: kick its ass right back babe ill hold your flower

mental support: have fun dude!!!

love and support: btw ill b over in like 20 nine cool???

mental support: not changing out of my pjs

love and support: thats a mood see u then?

mental support: yup! <3

PM between existential crisis and snack support

snack support: Im on my way over Dont freak out Which…...wont be helpful if youre asleep

 16:20

existential crisis: I know you’re probably still on the way home but Thanks for coming over <3 And yeah One day

[everysuperherofighting]

Best Albums of 2016

I think we all know how we feel about 2016, though I will say that on a personal level it was actually pretty good, and involved a lot of positive personal development, though also a fair amount of death, and I’m not talking about all the celebrities right now. My aunt, grandfather, and former band instructor all passed away this year.

As far as music, my tastes feel like they fall on the same continuum they always do, though there seem to be a few more old guy rockers than usual, which I guess means I am no longer aiming for “Noisey” but rather “Rolling Stone.” This is probably also personal: I am not an old guy yet, but I am getting closer and I am also becoming aware that I will probably not accomplish all of my artistic goals within the next 5 to 10 years, and so am becoming increasingly open to artists staying relevant into their middle age and beyond.

RIP all the folks, RIP all the artists and celebrities, RIP all the people in Syria and Yemen and the Philippines, and all the people killed in terrorist attacks in Europe and Africa and the Middle East, and killed in shootings (police, mass, and otherwise) in the United States,  and RIP the short term possibility of having a federal government that is at least potentially responsive to the needs of marginalized people. Here are the best albums of 2016, according to me:

Image via the Hold Up music video

1. Beyonce - Lemonade.

This album was cathartic when it was released at the beginning of the year, but now that we’re at the end we probably need it even more.

Though largely about infidelities within an interpersonal relationship (dammit Jay), with a heavy smattering of race commentary (particularly in the videos) and empowerment feminism, the frustrations and self-empowerment in the face of all adversaries expressed in these songs transcend the specifics. Especially in a year determined to put us in our place, to make us feel worthless or powerless.. Whether a cheating lover, an orange race-baiting huckster masquerading as politician (and ascending to the highest office in the land), the goddamn fucking forces of white supremacy/the patriarchy/global capitalism or our own private struggles with self-doubts and mental illness, this album had something to offer, if nothing else than a reminder to hold our heads up and say “fuck ya’ll.”

I didn’t like every song on this album but look: When I saw a room full of women, middle fingers raised, jamming out to “I’m Not Sorry” like a giant “fuck you” to whatever it was that was fucking their day up, telling them they weren’t valuable or whatever, I realized that it didn’t necessarily need to be for me.

Rubbery dancehall, Nahleans jazz,  futuristic (though I guess present now) R+B, diva voice: Beyonce does that thing where she overdubs like 20 different vocal tracks over one another, but her voice is already so powerful it sounds like a chorus of Amazonians or gods. And of course there’s the image of Beyonce walking around smashing car windows with a baseball bat in the “Hold Up” video, which now seems to be remarkably prescient.

The biggest pop star in the world right now has our back. We could do worse.

Watch “Hold Up”

2. Anderson .Paak - Malibu

Deceptively breezy soul and funk that inherently understands the political power of a block party. Like so many artists before, Anderson .Paak understands that sometimes just getting by is a revolutionary act, and thus this album often seems like a celebration of the awe one feels at their own continued existence. Some pretty good jams for fucking also.

Watch “Come Down”

3. Schoolboy Q - Blank Face

A gangsta rap album that absolutely nails the paranoia and sense of menace that must accompany the lifestyle. The vibe alternates between blazed out soul samples and claustrophobic, almost manic moments of paranoia. Sometimes you’re smoking the Kush and then sometimes there’s a black SUV in your rearview. Schoolboy Q rides over all this with straight-faced hood talk and almost gleeful depictions of acts of depravity, like so many others grasping power in whatever avenue is available to him. Kanye West has a show stealing feature and Vince Staples continues to shine, but I’m all about those Jadakiss and E40 bars.

Watch “John Muir”

4. Danny Brown - Atrocity Exhibition

Beats that sound like they were compiled from the intro to old VHS tapes and people banging on trashcans.  Little oft-kilter touches mirror the descriptions of substance abuse, the pitch-heightened background voice in “White Lines,” B-Real’s blitzed nursery rhyme delivery of the hook on “Get Hi.” Not that much music can probably still scare your cool boomer parents, but I’d nominate this one.

Watch “When It Rain”

Image via the Nobody’s Baby video

5. Sheer Mag - III

Sheer Mag sounds like the best basement band in the world, grimy rock n roll made by people who got punk but also grew up on Thin Lizzy and Jackson Five. Guitar solos that sound liberating instead of masturbatory and powerhouse vocals from Tina Halladay about love and heartbreak, like someone’s memory of what 70s rock n roll was like, inevitably better than it actually was.

Watch “Nobody’s Baby”

6. The Falcon - Gather Up The Chaps

Technically this is a punk rock supergroup, with members of the Loved Ones and Alkaline Trio, but it feels very much like Brendan Kelly’s vision, a chance to get a little grittier than the Lawrence Arms and indulge in his ever present artistic interest in the guy puking in the alley, then asking you if you know where to score some coke. There’s a song named after the video of David Hasselhoff drunkenly eating a cheeseburger, and though in a different band this may be a gimmicky (and like, really really out of date) reference to internet culture, here it comes across as a recognition - a dark moment is a dark moment no matter how meme worthy it becomes.

Watch “Sergio’s Here”

7. Jeff Rosenstock - Worry

Massive sing alongs, noisy genre hopping (or combining), and huge power-pop hooks that always seem to be just on the verge of descending into chaos. Jeff Rosenstock has often managed to make whatever he’s going through personally seem to speak to larger scale generational woes (I’m pretty sure there were at least two albums about not wanting to get a job, which came out at the same time that I and most of the people I know also didn’t want to get jobs). A reoccurring theme here seems to be the gentrification of places that you love, which is connected to the experience of getting older and feeling like you’re missing out. Jeff has definitely crafted his own “sound” at this point, so when he switches styles to the straight genre homage in the three-song punch of “Bang On the Door,” “Rainbow” and “Planet Luxury” (garage punk, third-wave ska and hardcore) in 3 blistering minutes, it’s a perfect reminder of all the music we (well, me) grew up loving.

Watch “Wave Goodnight To Me”

8. Kamaiyah - A Good Night In the Ghetto

Remember when people used to call beats “slappers?” Probably only if you were into Bay Area hip-hop circa 2007. Anyway, this shit slaps.

Watch “Out the Bottle”

9. YG - Still Brazy

Similar to how A Good Night in The Ghetto feels like an amalgamation of several decades of Bay Area hip hop, this is puuuuuure fucking LA fat bass, eerie keyboard sampling G-funk. Gangsta rap has always been political. Have I written that before? It’s worth saying more than once. Those last three songs though. FDT will obviously have a lot of shelf life, but “Blacks and Browns” and “Police Get Away Wit Murder” are sharp contributions to the tradition of “fuck this shit” also.

Watch “FDT”

10. Run the Jewels - RTJ3

A rush of weird beats, shit talk, and surreal imagery, hip-hop dispatches from a dystopian future, but one that feels weeks rather than years away. El-P and Killer Mike are honestly not that similar stylistically, (El-P is more from the highly conceptual east coast underground school, Killer Mike is more the southern testifying and telling straight truths school) but their mutual love of the game has always made this work and they are both world class shit talkers.

Watch “Talk To Me”

Image via the Chili Town video

11. Hinds - Leave Me Alone

Garage… pop I guess? that feels close to the vein, emotionally. I don’t mean heartbreak, though that’s here too, but also friendship, drinking wine in the sun, with surfy guitar melodies. There’s something that sometimes happens with some lady bands, where people kind of get into some sort of perceived naiveté or innocence or something, so I’m going to assume these women can fuck you up.

Watch “Warts”

12. Pup - The Dream Is Over

The frustration of reaching your mid-20s, realizing that you have not accomplished any of your goals and that you don’t have any prospects. In song form. It would sound like a kiss-off if the singer wasn’t desperately grasping for change.

Watch “DVP”

13. A Tribe Called Quest - We got it from Here… Thank You 4 Your service

Classic Tribe components still here - the swing in the rhythm, the walking bass lines, motherfucking Busta Rhymes(!), but with a foot firmly planted in the present. Did they used to swear this much? I don’t remember. Extended music breaks. Guitar flourishes. Q-Tip is clearly the ringleader, wearing the role more comfortably than ever, but with a kind of quiet humility that comes from age. Yeah, we still here, shit still sucks, but sometimes you find those little moments, you know?

Watch “We The People”

14. Leonard Cohen - You Want It Darker

Is there hope for salvation before death? Or just further disappointment and failure? An album to drink wine to in a dark room, alone but for ghosts.

Watch “You Want It Darker”

15. Drive-By Truckers - American Band

Pretty sure the Truckers have always been angry and political, it’s just never lined up with current events quite this overtly - but there’s always been a real siding with the have-nots, the people screwed over by bad economics, and the (not just white) working classes, though sometimes this manifests as concept albums about Lynard Skynard. Still, with a band that clearly flirts with a Red State target audience, at least sonically, and judging from the youtube comments on some of their videos, hanging their hat so clearly on the “blue side” is a risky move and one that should be commended. Here we get stories about the founder of the NRA murdering a Mexican teenager in the 20s, the shooting at Umpqua community college, hypocritical religious folks, and Black Lives fucking Mattering.

Watch “Surrender Under Protest”

16. David Bowie - Blackstar

To be honest, I thought this sounded a little bit too much like Pink Floyd the first time I heard it (plus a sax player) but the sultriness of cuts like “Lazerus,” the keyboard line in “’Tis a Pity She Was a Whore” that sounds like it came out of an 80s fantasy movie, and the weird vocal flourishes and marching rhythm of “Girl Loves Me” won me over. Bowie has left this mortal coil, and either ascended to a tinsel covered 70s movie set or an 80s computer game about going to the moon, but it’s definitely some kind of heaven.

Watch “Lazerus”

17. Death Grips - Bottomless Pit

A soundtrack for glitchy meme art, ordering 2CI off the Silk Road, and those computer generated DeepDream images, while MC Ride bellows avant-garde street poetry. I’ve never been sure if Death Grips are railing against or with the shitposting internet culture that’s embraced them. Some of these tracks are just fucking metal though.

Watch “Eh”

18. clipping - Splendor and Misery

Breakneck raps over the sound of an airshaft opening on a spaceship. This is supposedly a concept album about a slave revolt in outer space. Musically this equates to old spirituals and malfunctioning computers.

Watch “Air Em Out”

19. The Coathangers - Nosebleed Weekend

In the music video for “Nosebleed Weekend” the women in the band crash a party of hipsters to punch everyone in the face, but then the video ends with them probably trying to keep a straight face while they get covered with buckets of fake blood. Tough sounding surf punk, much about heartbreak.

Watch “Nosebleed Weekend”

Image via the Victim of Me video

20. Descendents - Hypercaffium Spazzinate

There’s a lot of older musicians on this list for whatever reason (all the dead guys I guess,) but a few lyrics about dietary changes aside, this band could have stepped wholesale out of their 1994 variation. Fast, hooky, with the most underrated bass lines in punk.

Watch “Victim of Me”

21. Paul Simon - Stranger to Stranger

Alright, this one’s a little NPR but I will say that I think Paul Simon sounds a little more of-kilter, a little moodier than he sometimes does. There are dark things around the edges in this one, whether it’s the ghostly guitars on the title track, or the way his funny song about getting stuck outside a club you’re supposed to play suddenly starts alluding to class uprising, a buildup that feels both surprising and also strangely inevitable.

Watch “Wristband”

22. Mikey Erg - Tentative Decisions

A lot of emotionally earnest music (dare we bring up emo?) gets slammed, essentially for being melodramatic. It’s a difficult balancing act, but I’ve always felt like the Ergs managed to avoid this, and here Mikey Erg continues that streak on his first solo album, with tastefully poppy tunes full of yearning melodies and (more) broken hearts, ala Big Star or an early Beatles album. When I saw this guy live a few years ago, it made my friend get back together with his ex-girlfriend.

Watch “Faulty Metaphor”

23. NOFX - First Ditch Effort

There is no way I’m not putting an album that has a song where Fat Mike sings about being a fetishistic crossdresser in my top 25.

Watch “Six Years On Dope”

24. Ramshackle Glory - One Last Big Job

It’s amazing how many people’s favorite band this is with virtually no mainstream recognition. Like, even Bomb the Music Industry put out stuff with Asian Man, who’ve put out Alkaline Trio records and stuff. And yet this (and Patrick Schneeweis’s other projects) is like Bob Dylan to thousands of kids across the country. I knew something was up when all the kids at the Rainbow Gathering I went to (2011) were playing Johnny Hobo covers. Anyway, this is their last album, and as such is a somewhat slow, contemplative affair. Pat’s always been excellent at espousing anarchist ideals while also representing that problems and hypocrisies that accompany radical lifestyles. Swan song for a true alternative.

Listen to “Face the Void”

25. AJJ - The Bible 2

Very much continuing ideas first developed on Christmas Island, a collection of noisy rock/pop tunes with upbeat melodies and lyrics about losing your shit, dirty middle schoolers who hang out by themselves in construction sites, and the Herculean task of feeling kind of ok with yourself.

Watch “Goodbye, Oh Goodbye”

[bbgleeproject]

[2/8/17, 8:06:20 PM] dom (Festive BB2 Host): dr: OF COURSE IM NOMINATED FOR EVICTION OF COURSEEEEEEEEEE

[2/8/17, 8:26:45 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: so basically my plan this week is to win veto and pull zach down and put up nic!

[2/8/17, 8:27:18 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: nic and dom are a power duo and they keep making snide comments at me and julia and its getting kind of annoying. i KNOW that they would target me if they won hoh so i might as well take the first swing!

[2/8/17, 8:27:39 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: while i do want to see if zach is actually here to play, i do want to keep him around

[2/8/17, 8:38:26 PM] veronica [ sin-hoe host ]: dr: ok whew so obvs i was not nominated and im a lil bummed i dont get to play in veto but its alright since i know im 100% safe and so now i can just rest up all of my energy to hopefully win next week’s hoh and just pass it back and forth between nicholas and so we make it to the end!

[2/7/17, 11:03:24 PM] Ruthie: (*) NICHOLAS WON HOH.  HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THAT? (*)

[2/9/17, 12:03:41 AM] Sydney Dianne Hickery Dickery Dock: IM HAPPY NICHOLAS WON HOH WOO

[2/9/17, 8:51:11 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: GUYS I AM SO NERVOUS FOR THESE RESULTS!

[2/9/17, 8:51:15 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: ANYONE BUT DOM

[2/9/17, 8:51:17 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: CAN WIN

[2/9/17, 8:53:45 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: IF DOM WINS POV MY PLAN IS SPOILED

[2/9/17, 9:05:32 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: IVE TURNED INTO SUCH A BITCH SOMEONE HELP DSMFKMDFSS I FEEL SO MEAN

[2/9/17, 9:06:58 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: its probablyfoolish of me to be playing so hard this early

[2/9/17, 9:07:11 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: but i need to make sure what i want to happen happens

[2/9/17, 10:09:45 PM] zach: On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)

On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)On 2017-02-09, at 9:26 AM, zach wrote:

> hey khaled you straight ;)

[2/9/17, 10:09:47 PM] zach: its for my friend

[2/9/17, 10:17:12 PM] Ruthie: :O

[2/9/17, 10:17:24 PM] zach: im just asking i promise

[2/9/17, 10:17:40 PM] jeffery: i hope he says “now i am"

[2/9/17, 10:35:21 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: I WON VETO

[2/9/17, 10:35:23 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: OH MY GOD

[2/9/17, 10:35:34 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: ME RIGHT NOW

[2/9/17, 10:35:36 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: IM SO HAPPY

[2/9/17, 10:41:47 PM] zach: dr:

honestly my dad won veto so he’s going to use it on me and nic’s being backdoored like im actually happy my kink! nicholas is honestly one of my fav people ever and like im so glad i met him literally first wheen i joined this community

[2/9/17, 10:43:04 PM] jeffery: nicholas nominated you and he’s using veto on you?

[2/9/17, 10:43:16 PM] zach: yeah bc he promised everyone safety

[2/9/17, 10:43:20 PM] zach: so he put me up bc i offered

[2/9/17, 10:43:27 PM] zach: and he and i were going to try hard in veto

[2/9/17, 10:43:30 PM] zach: it was a plan

[2/9/17, 10:44:07 PM] zach: also ill post tea here

[2/9/17, 10:44:14 PM] zach: [2017-02-09, 11:58:22 AM] Madison: Zach i hope you dont get evicted so i can take your crusty ass to f2

[2017-02-09, 12:07:55 PM] zach: ilysdfdsfns

[2017-02-09, 12:08:57 PM] Madison: If you dont get taken off I'll vote to keep you even tho you're on the block with my best friend

[2/9/17, 10:44:15 PM] zach: i love her

[2/9/17, 10:46:39 PM] veronica [ sin-hoe host ]: dr: woohoo ok so nicholas won veto which is great and means dom is probably going but i kinda want to just get zach out anyways bc like the sooner i can get some of my friends ive had before the game started the better because the longer theyre in the game the more chances of us having fights are gonna happen so i want to not fight them and just have them be out of the way. i accidentally exposed that nicholas is my duo f2 to madison but i think most people know already because everyone knows we know each other irl its not a secret anymore and like i finally had a chance to be on the detention call and so i think i bonded a lil more with matthew colin and madison and so thats good but either way i just dont trust people enough so i do wanna win hoh and since its over the weekend i should have enough time to try and do whatever the comp is and if i dont win hopefully another warbler wins idk im going to message more people after work and just keep being me and hopefully slide under the radar considering i know a lot of these people know i can do really well in orgs

[2/9/17, 10:47:16 PM] veronica [ sin-hoe host ]: also i wanna do vl shout outs but im going to do them tomorrow considering ive told ppl i went to bed already when in reality i wrote a dr fjldksafjslakfj

[2/9/17, 10:47:24 PM] Chrissa (survivor island of shade hoest/ihos germany host): I don't have anything to dr about except dom and Zach are on the block and that's crazy but I am split on who to vote at the moment lol idk

[2/9/17, 10:48:41 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/9/17, 10:50:43 PM] Matthew Henning: PoV went just fine, I knew that the outcome didn't really matter, Nicholas said I'm safe. Two of the three in my clique I think are going to be deadweight, I think Sydney will probably carry the group if she's active enough. Otherwise it's going to be me using Elijah and Nic as meatshields.

[2/9/17, 10:50:59 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/9/17, 10:51:53 PM] zach: i fucking love my dad like idk he is literally the nicest person and unless he memes the fuck it and doesnt save me idk dsfosudbf id laugh still but i love nicholas and i trust him and he’s like the greatest person i met from this community and im so happy he won like idk its fun and i kind of dont want to leave this game??? im ready to?? win??

-

who’s in my clique again

[2/9/17, 10:54:07 PM] zach: ok so

daniel? walked bye i guess he’s gone but thats sad bc he was an obvious target but was annoying zz

rhea? i love her she’s precious and my memequeen but like idk i havent messaged her once in this game and tbh i forgot she was in this game till i just read that chat and saw she was on my clique??

madison? i love her so much omg no like she’s such a good person and wants me safe and i love her i am just worried that if i have to cut her later it’ll get messy bc i am a GLEEK!

[2/9/17, 10:54:58 PM] zach: i dont think i’d actually ever cut madison bc i like her too much and im such an easy person to manipulate but

[2/9/17, 10:47:50 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/9/17, 10:52:16 PM] Madison: Nicholas winning pov is great because now I know that my alliance has full control over this week. I'm hoping the rumors are true and he uses it on Zach and puts up Nic because I would like for both Zach and Dom to stay this week and Nic to go because he annoys me and could be very dramatic. As for my clique, I feel a lot better about them now that Daniel is gone, and I'm hoping that we don't lose any more members this week!

[2/9/17, 10:51:35 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/9/17, 10:53:01 PM] dom (Festive BB2 Host): Nicholas isn't gonna use it and I'm so upset because I really want to stay and fight in this game but I know I'm gonna get evicted against Zach

[2/9/17, 10:53:30 PM] dom (Festive BB2 Host): and my clique is just too much for me they're not gonna save me

[2/9/17, 10:47:31 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/9/17, 10:54:18 PM] Colin McC: Nicholas winning hoh AND pov?? YAS THATS MY DAD AMERICA. Nicholas is such a king and an icon and the Warblers would be lost without him. As for people in my clique? I literally love them all. so. much. Chrissa is a literally like the nicest person ever, the queen of foot diseases herself. Nicholas, like I said, my dad. I can def rely on him to win comps for the clique, not to mention he has an amazing social game as well; everyone loves Nicholas. And finally, Veronica. Tbh I was kinda on rocky terms with Veronica, like we didn’t mesh super well in the last game we played but we had a long, nice conversation yesterday and??? She is so nice and fun to talk to omg.

[2/9/17, 10:49:59 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/9/17, 10:54:45 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: omg I’m happy i won pov!!!

[2/9/17, 10:54:49 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: I LOVE MY CLIQUE

[2/9/17, 10:54:54 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: THEY ARE ALL SO PERFECT

[2/9/17, 10:54:59 PM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: AND I WOULD KEEP THEM SAFE EITHER WAY

[2/9/17, 10:49:28 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/9/17, 10:55:15 PM] Rhea <3: Diary Room

So, when I found out Nicholas and I were going to play a game together I nearly SCREAMED out of joy! He has hosted me twice, and I hosted him once, but we have never played together.

So, I think this will be lovely! And so far he hasn't nominated me which is nice. He controls all the power this week's and if he's being legit with me, that's good because it means I am going to be safe. I REALLY like him and I hope he and I can take this game and let it ride! I think he's someone I can work really well with. So I am looking forward to this!

[2/9/17, 10:56:07 PM] Colin McC: On 2/7/17, at 10:12 PM, Colin McC wrote:

> (i’ll try to do a video of cast assessment for a dr tomorrow unless I forget kdlsgjdkg)

YIKES i forgot to do this. Ummm I promise I’ll do one tomorrow, and if not I’ll AT LEAST do it over text sakljgdg

[2/9/17, 10:47:09 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/9/17, 11:42:06 PM] elijah D: DR: WHAT A KING , and honestly I want different clique mates

[2/9/17, 11:43:35 PM] dom (Festive BB2 Host): On 2/9/17, at 11:42 PM, nicholas wrote:

> whew ok first of all thanks so much for messaging me!!! this week is wild so i am going to take some time to think things over and make a decision but i will take that into consideration! have a good night!

UGHHHH HE IS SO FUCKING FAKE LIKE JUST FUCKING TELL ME THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA USE IT ON ME

[2/9/17, 11:43:42 PM] dom (Festive BB2 Host): I HATE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE HERE FUCKING SHIT FUCK THEM ALL

[2/10/17, 12:11:17 AM] andie welch: I feel good about Nicholas winningg pov!! idc about these noms that really I know dom is in a premade with madion + nic so yeah I want them #gone

ALSO people in my clique? I love Julia rae, dom is okay, Julia roxy is a FREAK and it's kinda funny but also weird.

[2/9/17, 10:49:08 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/10/17, 12:32:42 AM] Roxy (EMVivor Host): Nicholas is bae and p I my cliwueare there

[2/9/17, 10:48:07 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*)

[2/10/17, 3:33:09 AM] julia rae: I feel good about Nicholas winning bc hes prob one of my closest allies and we best buds!! but we've been fake fighting a lot on call so it seems like we don't like each other hehehe

[2/10/17, 3:33:35 AM] julia rae: and then the people on my clique are alright, I like andie and julia but like dom is gross

[2/10/17, 5:55:02 AM] zach: i heard tea that matthew told nicholas to use the veto on me ?? why am i so loved oh my god people want me here

also veronica has an advant. in the next hoh so she scary. her/nich f2 confirmed, ver leaked to Mad about it.

im going to be asked to be nominated every week bc that sounds fun

i think everyone wants dom out over nic but like i prefer nic bc nic is emotional and dumb zzz and i think i can forge a relationship with dom since talking to nic is like talking to a fucking wall

also i didnt know colin/rhea were in this game

andie is a king but he’ll nom me soon i know it

elijah king but will be pawned by others zzz

[2/10/17, 7:00:19 AM] Chrissa (survivor island of shade hoest/ihos germany host): so I can't sleep but that's not new lol so I am just here lol thinking about how I am jesse st. james trash but Sydney got him first lol

[2/10/17, 8:19:12 AM] Chrissa (survivor island of shade hoest/ihos germany host): also I will answer: I love my clique honestly I get along with all of them.

[2/10/17, 8:50:03 AM] nicholas [ sinnoh host ]: ok so i'm pretty sure i made my mind up about what i might do with the veto but i'm going to brew over my decision while i'm at school today! i definitely need to lay low moving forward and do my best to not draw any more attention to myself!