#((not really here but i saw your post jen and i love you guys a lot))

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Issue 28 (2024)

By Brij, Dion, Briar, Jen and Peter

Now Available!

Itch.io - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

The surprises are just never-ending!

The Halloween Issues are successfully behind us. But don’t worry, there’s still more exciting things to come! Check out the Announcements for more information!

We want some feedback!

As we’re starting to get a hand of things, we would love some feedback from you guys! What you enjoy, want more or less off, how we could improve... Anything goes! We even have a nifty form!

Still looking for members!

The Zine Team is growing, but we won’t say no to more free hands looking to make a little difference in the community!

If you too would like to help us out in a more official capacity, please shoot us a message! You can check out the available positions here, but if you’d like to help in any other way, feel free to contact us as well!

We hope you enjoy this new issue!

BRIJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER

~ BE A PART OF THE ZINE ~

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : BITSY JAM ~

Fuu, already #85?

Bitsy is a little engine for little games, worlds, and stories created by Adam Le Doux that makes game making look easier than ever! I mean really! You can use it to make a game in your browser just by drawing it! Thanks to the simple pixelated graphics and limited colour palette you can make basically anything from simple short stories to complicated masterpieces.

The first jam (with a yummy theme: Breakfast) took place on April 8th 2017. Now it’s a monthly occurrence, each time with a new challenging theme that the creators themselves (or even possibly you) get to vote on.

Petrichor, temporary, intentionally bad, tomatoes, no dialogue, long distances, secret place, bitsy fest jam, lost media and waiting are just the ten most recent ones. This month’s theme is game manual - the theme can be the core of the game, or just a small reference. Anything really. The main point of this jam is to have fun and make something! (Just make sure that your game is made in one of these: bitsy, mosi or bipsi.)

So why not give it a shot?

~ ENDED ~

The Halloween Jam has officially ended and the winners have been announced! Check out the results here.

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

The voting for ECTOCOMP 2024 has officially started! To vote and participate as a jury, you must do so by giving between 1 to 5 stars on each entry page of the jam. The voting period ends on November 30.

The 7th edition of inkJam is in motion and you have until the 15th November to vote for your faves. The winners will be officially announced the following day.

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Disabled Rep VN Jam has a very simple premise but a very important message.

Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted March 3rd 2025.

Are you perhaps a fan of more somber, melancholic themes? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam! You have until the end of the year to participate.

The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.

Bare your teeth and sharpen your claws because the Monstrous Desires 2024 Visual Novel Jam is here! Dedicated to the love of entities, horrors, and monstrosities, this jam will be full of romantic Visual Novels (VN) that heavily focus on a monster may it be original or from classics, folklore, modern media, etc.

The October Bitsy Jam is here! The theme is game manual and you have until November 11th to submit your projects.

~ OTHER ~

Jams are a great way to find new games! Don’t be afraid to check out submissions from previous years as well. There might be some gems hiding between them!

~ NEW RELEASE ~

The corpos are after you. The cops are, too. Even your ex has crawled out of the grave to try and get you back. Meanwhile, the fate of the galaxy itself rests on a knife’s edge, and only you can bar the doors of hell in Whiskey-Four (CScript)

In Between Two Worlds (CScript) join forces with a rogue smuggler to uncover the truth of a mysterious cult and foil their plans—but who can you trust in a time of uncertainty and darkness?

It’s natural to hold onto the memory of someone you loved and lost. But when does remembrance turn to fixation? When does clinging to the past begin to warp your present and future? Find out in That Which Surrounds. @blank-house

Blood Moon Rising is a text-based IF where vampires kidnapped your father. Now you need to get him back to safety at all costs.

You wake up in a dark forest, all alone. Who are you? What’s going on? Play The ritual (bitsy) and find your way inside the forest and discover the truth about the mysterious ritual that brought you here…

In Monstrous Brew play as Mae, a cute pastel witch, finding refuge in her bakery. What will she do when a feather flutters into her hand, foreboding a her death?

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

Godsbane: Book One (CScript) Since the day of your birth, everything was nothing short of perfect. So why do you still see this face? Why does it burn so much? @speechlessturtle

Love After Death (Twine) Your past is in the past. And your future is with your lover. No more stress. No more tears, rage, helplessness, or feeling powerless. But isn't it going a bit too smoothly?

In Unneeded Script (Twine) you died in a car accident. Now, it's time to try again in a fantastic setting, but oh wait! You are a villain! Good luck! @unneededscript-if

In When Love and Law Collide (CScript) you are a newbie police officer. And as a police officer, your mandate is simple. Apprehend those who don’t follow the law. But what if you get caught in the rivalry between two warring clans - and two people who make you ignore the laws and follow your heart? @biinthecity

Addy (Ren’Py) - Welcome to Nowhere Tech, transfer student- where you'll meet people, make choices, make mistakes, and make even more mistakes.

Hana's got some skeletons in her closet. For the past few years the hustle and bustle of the city has served as a great distraction, but the time has come for her to view the reality of what happened to her in MINE MEMORY.

~ UPDATES ~

College Tennis: Origin Story (CScript) released Chapter 6 to the public. @collegetennisoriginstory

Cyberpolice (CScript) added the Romantic part of Stillwater one night stand scene to their demo.

Remnants of the Past (Twine) released Chapter 3 of Act 2. @remnantsofthepast-if

The Ballad of the Young Gods (Twine) released Chapters 2 and 3. @childrenofcain-if

Vice Virtue (Twine) added new content to Chapter 1. @dam-peace

Only Flesh and Blood (Ren’Py) updated the demo. @gauloiseblue

The Bureau - Halloween special (CScript) is here. @morbethgames

Crystal Lambs (Ren’Py) released Chapter 4.

Dice & Dungeon Masters (CScript) added new content to their demo.

Hooves & Hearts (Twine) released Chapter 1: Rudolph and Dasher.

~ OTHER ~

The author of The Sword of Rhivenia (CScript) is also back with a remake! Be sure to check out the demo.

The VNture podcast is back with another episode! This time talking about spooky scary monsters.

The wait is over and the Reincarnation Of The Archdemon (CScript) demo relaunch is here.

Chronicles of Taldun: The Remainder Expanded Edition is out. There’s a lot of new content, so be sure to check it out!

~

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.

If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Sanguine Sky by @sanguinesky-if (CScript)

HEYYYY! for the game highlight, may I please mention "Sanguine Sky" by the amazing @ sanguinesky-if ??? I swear this IF is so lovely, and the ROs always have my heart racing. Not to mention the amazing writing!

//submitted by anon//

Flight by Cidney Hamilton (Twine)

You moved overseas for love. But was it worth it? A short piece of hypertext fiction about leaving a toxic relationship.

//recommended by the Team//

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?

An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

Did you miss our Small Talk portion of the Zine? Then you have a reason to celebrate because we’re bringing it back!

You’ve read it right! The interviews are back thanks to our new Team members: BRIAR AND PETER! Welcome to the Team guys, we’re happy to have you! There’s already an interview in the works and we can wait to share it with you!

And we will be interviewing... *insert drumroll here*

LEIA TALON!

Fantasy romance writer, author of the newly released Ink and Intrigue, Their Majesties' Pleasure and The World Tree Chronicles book series.

Send us any question you'd have for her and we’ll ask her for you! Whether it's general or ultra specific, tell us what you'd like to know!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank:

our awesome anon!

For sending us their game Highlight!

As always, huge thanks to all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on the last issue!

What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us!

Thank you for cheering us on this journey

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We’re also currently working on a Meet the Team post, so be excited for that!

And see you again next week!

BRIJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 28

[notsofunsenpai]

Quotes I used in this story or rephaze in my own words for this part.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”

– Brené Brown

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

“We deserve to experience love fully, equally, without shame, and without compromise.”

– Elliot Page

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

“Being transgender is not just a medical transition. It’s discovering who you are, living your live authentically, loving yourself, and spreading that love towards other people and accepting one another, no matter the difference.”

– Jazz Jennings

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

I saw this on Twitter thanks for  sunnys_comms on Twitter for the amazing art, and I wouldn't have known what to write without see the post. Than you again!

For this month's writing challenge :D

this 2024 calendar was made by poorslaindoll on Tumblr or on here xD

Go check them both out :D

I'll be using that Callender as reference but willing to change it alittle for requests if any or I'll just post twice a day for the Challenge and the request. XD

I might also use Pride-Month-Challenge post that I reposted as well in some of them.

Ok,back to the fanfic

♡You.♡

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Gentle fingers run through your hair as you lay on your lover,watching TV. Nothing was on,so you guys picked one channel that seemed interesting. There wasn't much to do today,everything that needed to be done was done. You took advantage of that by snuggling your boyfriend who was holding you close and being soft with you. He would kiss the top of your head,telling you how amazing you are with a smile on his face,his eyes showed nothing but love,patience, and acceptance,something that you yearn for the longest time and now you finally have it,you couldn't be any happier than you are right now.

There was a time when you weren't happy with yourself,you hated yourself with every bone in your body. You had done something risky,you felt free afterward but it was risky and you were scared.

It took some time.

It's fine, take your time.

It's part of life.

After years and years, finding yourself,finding who you were,what you are,what you wanna be, and what you are. It took some time, but you finally figured out that you opened up to the ones who were close to you and ones who you thought you were close to. You shed multiple tears,heartbroken as the ones who didn't accept thought of you differently and didn't want to be near you. It was hard, and you really wanted to be accepted,wanting to make everyone happy so whenever someone who ask you about this or that,you lie to make them happy. You knew of their opinions,their beliefs,etc, and you didn't want to go through that drama and trouble, so you just lied to please them.

It came to the point you didn't know who you were, you were lying to yourself constantly,you felt like you became a different person,but whenever you were by yourself you were trying to figure things out. Eventually, you did, but when you did someone who saw straight through your lies,saw the real you. You were having another breakdown when it happened. You were struggling mentally,it's hard to please everyone, and you came to realize that not everyone will like you. You wanted to cry more but you felt soft arms around you,you turned your head alittle to see the stranger better,at the time he had longer hair but it's shorter now he was wearing a white tank top at the time and baggy blue pants,he might of been jogging at the time because he was sweating and had taken his earbuds out. You remember lying to him at first,seeing an eyebrow rising on his face,"You can lie all you want, but it won't help make you feel better or ease the pain." He says,you thought about it before telling the truth,the real truth. You told him everything,not missing any detail,how sad you felt and the hatred you felt,he didn't judge you at all.

He listen to everything before giving you another hug,"Listen here,I know I'm a stranger and all but 'we all deserve to experience love fully, equally, without shame, and without compromise'. Sure, it may or might take some time to figure it out,and sure people may or may not agree, but who cares? The only thing that should matter is yours. You deserve to be happy like everyone else. Life is all about discovering yourself, right? Discover who you are and living your life along with loving yourself and spreading that love towards other people and accepting one another, no matter the difference. I like to think there are worst scenarios out there,there are people out there who need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to their troubles,a friend if you might say. That's why I came and hugged you, I'm kinda glad you didn't pepper spray me as well or call the cops on me." He jokes alittle to make you laugh. You gived him a smile,laughing alittle,thanked him and then he offers to buy you a drink or something to eat,and you gladly accepted.

Here you are now in the present day,relaxing with and on Kenji as he plays with your soft hair as you guys were kinda listening to the TV talking about aliens," You're amazing love,you're still working on yourself as am I but I think Owning our story,sticking to it as well and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do. Bravest thing you'll ever do. I couldn't be any prouder of you, baby. I love you." He said, kissing you again with a loving and accepting look on his face.

[aejiajia]

<🍓> Incorrect qoutes

Literally just a list of incorrect qoutes i update every once in a while

Jisoo: Are we really going to let Jennie keep Lisa?

Rosé: We kept Chaein.

Jisoo: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Jennie: Several traffic violations.

Lisa: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Rosé: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Chaein: Also, that’s not our car.

Jisoo: Favorite horror movie?

Jennie: It

Lisa: Saw

Rosé: Annabelle

Chaein: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

Chaein: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

Jennie: Never speak again.

Chaein: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Chaein: He is not the love of your life! He is literally just some guy!

Chaein : Hit him with your car.

Chaein: Protip, you do not feel good after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Rosé: What is wrong with you???

Chaein: I literally just said i ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce are you even listening????

Lisa: No she means other then that.

Chaein: Oh.

Chaein: I haven't slept in 4 days.

Chaein : Of course i don't get jealous about dating rumours! Their just stupid fan theories and i know better!

Dispatch: Ehe! posts (1) bp member dating rumour)

Chaein : eHe?! bitch slap

Chaein : Hey girls, remember how you told me to go to the pharmacy??

Jisoo : Yes?

Chaein : They're out of my ADHD medications for five days..

Lisa : Oh my god.

Chaein : This sure will be a fun week!

Rosé : I wanna get out of here.

Chaein : Jen- Jennie, through sickness and in health!

Jennie : Chaeyoung take me with you-

Chaein : Dating all four of you is so hard,

Chaein : Because i have to keep track of which bad jokes i've used up on each of you.

[jlf23tumble]

Hello jen❤️ you can answer in public or in private, whatever you prefer. I saw a very interesting post on you rblog and wanted to talk to you and your followers about it. English is not my 1st lamguage btw so I'm sorry if the grammar isn’t good😅

https://www.tumblr.com/jlf23tumble/723873308577267712/im-always-much-more-interested-in-the-men-around?source=share

In this post you and the anon discuss that h and l have their own personal fuck buddies etc and you imply that they haven't only slept with each other since 2010. I wanted to ask you and your followers why you think that H and L have slept with multiple peoplr and not only each other?

I have just joined the 1d/larry fandom fully and I would love to hear you guys' opinion so I can look at things from different perspectives💖

Hello there! Your English is totally fine, but I'm a wee bit confused with this ask because a) it looks like you saw a bunch of my old posts that really cover my thoughts about it in detail, and b) your blog seems to indicate you've been a 1d/larry fan for a long time? Anyway, I'll dm you just to see if I'm missing something here, but yeah, happy to talk about my thoughts! No clue what anyone following me thinks, tho!

[scarletwinterxx]

the way i love you - jeno imagine

a very very quick cute scenario😊 i’m so busy w work right now so i can’t post that often, but a few stories are already on my drafts i just need to finish them 😅😅😅

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2021 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

“Hey Jen”

“Yes, babe?”

“I need you to break up with me” 

Before, your boyfriend’s focus was on his game but upon hearing your words he halted his movements and slowly turned to look at you sitting on his bed, blinking back at him like what you said was totally normal

“Come again? Did you just say I need to break up with you?” you nodded at his question, a thousand scenarios running in his head as to why you would say this. 

“Did I- Was there something I did? Are we fighting? Are you mad at me?” bursting out in giggles because of his confused expression, you pushed yourself off of his bed and stride to where he was sitting. Plopping yourself on his lap, Jeno’s strong arms immediately circling around your waist

“No”

“Was it because I took the last piece of chicken last night?”

“What? No” you chuckle, ruffling his hair with your fingers

“Do you really want to break up with me?”

“Oh my god, baby no. I was kidding! I just saw this tiktok vid where a girl asked her boyfriend to break up with her so she could feel relate more to Taylor, she’s re-released her album”

Jeno just shot you an unimpressed look before tickling you on the side, “You had me worried for a second there”

“I was kidding! I would never break up with you” you say in between laughs, trashing around on his lap while he continues on with his attacks

“Like I would ever give you a reason to, I love you way too much” you smile at his words, feeling all the butterflies in your stomach flutter away. You did hit the jackpot with this guy,

“Not as much as I love you” 

“Don’t make this a competition, because I will win” that you do know, if there’s one thing Jeno knows best that is how to love you. It’s like he’s made it his life mission to always make you feel loved, every second of every day as long as you’re with him. And he’s rightfully done so ever since you started dating. 

“I have long accepted the fact that I’ll always be second to Jaemin” you joked, whenever Jeno says you’re his whole heart you always retort back saying you’re the right chamber while Jaemin is the left one.  

“You sure? I think Jisung is catching up now. I’m probably only third on your list now” you tease him some more, the latter shaking his head at you. Hiding his face on your neck, cuddling you closer to him

“It’s okay, you’re still number one on my long list of lovers”

“What list? there’s a list?!” again, you laughed at his reaction. This time you’re the one to hug him tighter, “Just kidding, you big baby”

“You and your Taylor Swift references”

“Since we’re already on that topic, just know there’s no one I’d dance in the refrigerator light with but you” kissing both of his cheeks, earning that adorable eye smile from your favorite boy. 

“I mean I did get you a necklace with my initials on it” he smiles while running his fingers on the metal letters resting on the middle of your chest, a birthday gift from him to you. “Not because you own me” “But because I know you, yea yea I’ve heard it” you smile proudly at him for getting the reference this time

“That’s my boy, now let’s cuddle and listen to Taylor”

[late-to-the-party-81]

Dani and Jen’s 300/250 follower celebration challenge

AKA All new 22 Challenge

Welcome to all you lovely followers! @yarnforbrains and I, realised that we both hit a milestone just before Christmas. In order to celebrate we thought we would have a relaxed little writing challenge for you guys, who inspire us to keep writing ourselves. As it’s the New Year, the theme for the challenge will be “New”. Yes, that is a very wide spectrum, but it allows you to let your creative juices flow.

Find the master list of entries so far here!

The Rules!!

Due to the content of our respective blogs, this challenge is only for those over the age of eighteen.

You can write any grouping you want as long as one person is from the MCU (inc all TV shows) or CE/SS/TH characters. Ships (m/f, f/f, m/m) as well as ‘x reader’(f/m/t/gn) are allowed. Hey, it can be friendships too!

You can use the theme “New” however you want! New shoes? New Relationship? New seggsy position? New start? New car? (Lee hoes, Dani is looking at you!)

All genres (fluff/angst/smut/dark) and all AU’s (baker/Omegaverse/mafia/lumberjack etc) are permitted.

Please pick a dialogue prompt (or two) from the list below.

When posting your fic please state the theme somewhere in the AN, and please embolden the dialogue prompt.

If you are writing dark or smut, please warn appropriately (but please, no toilet play, no blood play, underage or incest.)

Please tag @yarnforbrains and @late-to-the-party-81 in your fic, and use the hashtag #AllNew22 (as long as it doesn’t make the iOS ban list, sigh)

No word limit, but if it’s over 250 words, please use a cut.

Fic writing not really for you? How about a mood board?

No more than three entries per blog please.

Please post your entry by 31st January 2022 (if you can! - message one of us if you might be running a bit behind - life happens).

The dialogue prompts!

(thanks to the Thot Neighbourhood hoes for helping out with the list)

Do you like my new…?

I’m new to this

We can try something new in the bedroom

I read about this new position in Cosmopolitan

I saw this new move in a porn video

Well, this is new.

Technically, I didn’t break my New Year’s Resolution

Would you like the good news first, or the bad?

A New Year’s Edge Challenge? That sounds like fun. B When the countdown gets to zero you get to cum. A But it’s only 10pm

Why do we need a new one?

It’s all new to me.

It doesn’t have to be new

Brand spanking new

Baby needs new shoes!

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks

I’m/You’re the new kid on the block

Ooo, this looks new!

It’s all shiny and new

A What’s wrong? B It’s all over the news… A What is?

What’s new pussycat?

A Whatcha doing? B Learning a new language/recipe/trick.

It’s not technically ‘new’, but it’s new to me…

Ok, new rule…

I think we found a new kink…

Let’s make a new tradition

Newer isn’t always better

Well, that’s new information…

@sgt-seabass @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky @beelicious-barnes @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @jamesbarnesjr @duchessoftheheart @igotnoname4thisblog @midnightf @jobean12-blog @navybrat817 @sidepartskinnyjeans @mymindslabyrinth @mobbucky

[vampirekangaroo]

So my week has been rather craptastic for the most part. The best part of my week was legit being so restless I watched She-Hulk this week at 3 in the morning after watching Chucky and the 23897 things that recorded Wednesday.

I legit was smiling so hard despite feeling like hell cause I felt tired but could not sleep. Like melatonin tired (cause I took half a dose) and still couldn’t sleep. And of course not to wake my whole house up I decided to kick my bed like a teenager and let out a soundless EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I literally texted that to my friend who watches it too at 3:30 lol. She was confused, I told her look at the time I sent it.

But seriously like that episode was so perfect and I everything I wanted it to be. Cause Jen is amazing okay? And people who don’t realize that and all the haters can suck it. I hope eventually She Hulk and Daredevil are in the avengers okay. I hope she has a reason to go to New York and be on that show so they can hook up again okay? And like in that bar scene when she’s talking to the crowd....oh lord. You bet your ass I was silently mouthing to the screen, YES JEN, WE ALL FEEL IT. GET YOU SOME MATT MURDOCK GIRL YOU DESERVE IT AFTER ALL THE FUCKBOYS THIS SEASON! LET US ALL LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOU FOR THE NIGHT!

But seriously, kinda sorta, I was really impressed at this bigger entrance into the MCU for him. The only difference between the Netflix show (other than the costume) is that we got to see him mostly happy the whole episode. And honestly after EVERYTHING Matt has been through, can we not just enjoy he was fucking happy for thirty something minutes?! Like come on. Plus the brooding line made me ridiculously happy case my hater tater friend is all, “He’s angsty. I don’t like Daredevil.” HE 👏  IS  👏  BROODY 👏  HEFFER 👏 AND IT’S FINE, MORE FOR ME AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO LOVES HIM. I’ll die on my hill. It’s fine.

The ending though, well the satisfied ending and then the real ending. That walk of shame made me SO happy. Y’all have NO clue. There are so many times that women are shown doing that walk and I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw a guy doing it. If ever? I’m trying to wrack my brain but it does not want to play cause I’m going on three hours of sleep (sorry for the typos I know will be in this until I proofread it next week and am mildly mortified I posted this). But seeing him do that walk of shame was just fantastic! I love that they made it be the man and I’m glad he was that man. BE PROUD YOU GOT TO BE WITH JEN! *Insert a happy hum here*

BUT THEN with the slut shaming at the end, like.....I hope that is addressed next week. I hope they say something like this is nothing that a man EVER has to deal with. Was Tony Stark ever called a whore despite that scene in the beginning of Iron Man? Nope, don’t think so. So yeah I hope they address it’s not okay and while I would love for Matt to be her lawyer with him saying he was going back to New York I doubt that will happen. I do hope that if I can’t have that happen, I hope Mallory is her legal council. ‘Cause damn if it ain’t getting old to have people thinking it’s not okay for women to have sex for, LE GASP, pleasure.

[blackbat05]

Day by Day

Shangqi x Reader 

A/N: My love for this man has hit an all time high so let me capitalize on it while I still can! If you read everything, I sincerely thank you for doing so!!! And holy cow 2 fics in 2 days have I gone back into my prime days? 

Genre: PG-13

Notes: As the title mentioned, I’ll probably set it some time after endgame. You could see it as a prequel to my first post! Reader is a social worker and she’s just dealing with all the mess that the snap bought back. The reader’s name as Jen Lee. I also apologize in advance for the potentially long fic. 

***

‘Excuse me, I’m looking for my child? Her name’s Wang Yiman and she’s seven.’ Another frazzled-looking parent fought her way to the front of the receptionist, approaching the helpless intern who looked like she was going to be on the verge of tears if another request came in. 

‘I got this,’ a hand calmly reassured the young intern as she beckoned the relief parent. ‘Mrs Wang? My name is Jen Lee and I’m the social worker here.’ I offered my hand for the anxious mother. ‘Oh thank god! Is Yiman ok? She must have been so scared!’ I slowed to a stop outside the room at the end of the corridor, gently sitting her down. 

‘Yiman has been a very brave girl Mrs Wang, but I will not lie to you. The sudden disappearance of their parents has traumatized a lot of kids. We’ve managed to explain to them what was going on but they will need a lot of support.’ I gave a glance over Mrs Wang’s shoulder, nodding to my colleague, Tammy who was holding the hand of a little girl in pigtails and a floral dress. 

妈妈! mā ma (mommy!)

The young girl ran into her mother’s open arms, allowing the floodgates to open from both ends. I turn to Tammy as we shared a silent agreement to leave the area. ‘That’s the last one for the day,’ Tammy unceremoniously plops herself onto the chair, letting out a groan. ‘Thanks for your hard work Jen.’ 

‘Right back at you.’ I entered the last bit of paperwork before uploading Yiman’s case file onto the portal. Yiman’s reunion with her parents meant the Children and Youth Centre were halfway in getting every displaced child back to their parents. Looking at the dingy television that was hung on the walls at the waiting room, despite not being able to hear anything, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on. S.W.O.R.D was apparently in a stand-off against Wanda Maximoff? Reported rumors that Sam Wilson didn’t want anything to do with the shield? It’s been a crazy few weeks but that was utter- 

‘Bullshit! If anything it’s the government. They must have psyched him into giving up the shield.’ My chair swiveled to face Tammy who returned a nonchalant shrug. ‘What? You know I’m right. Doesn’t matter if half the world’s gone or our universe gets split into two - they’re the true evil here. I’m still struggling to find a place after I found a couple making out in my apartment! And you know what the global repatriation council told me? We’re only dealing with urgent cases right now. Well I say f-’

The incessant ringing of the bell interrupted our conversation, replacing Tammy’s tirade into a cheeky grin. ‘Look who’s here!’ 

Shangqi stands behind the counter, dressed in his usual red varsity jacket and jeans, holding bags of what I could only make out as takeout from the Chinese restaurant that was run by a friendly Singaporean couple. ‘Did I interrupt something?’ He scratches his head nervously. ‘Nope, in fact you just saved me from Tammy’s monologue, any further and she’ll explicitly tell me what she saw in her apartment when she got dusted back that day,’ I shivered in mock fear. ‘Still haunts me up till today.’ Tammy meets us by the door, bag in her hand. 

‘I thought you were staying? We got fried dumplings and 泡饭  pào fàn (poached rice).’ 

‘Last minute duty - A parent called, gotta run! Enjoy your dinner date.’ She waggles her eyebrows suggestively, much to our embarrassment. ‘What? It’s not...’ Shangqi stutters, trying to form intelligible sentences. ‘Get out before I throw a fried dumpling at your face Tammy!’ She winks at me, before darting out of the door. Once my nosy colleague was out, I turn towards a red-faced Shangqi. ‘I’m so sorry... just don’t mind her.’ 

‘Huh?’ The man was knocked out of his stupor. ‘Oh yeah... sure,’ in an attempt to forget everything that had just happened, he opened the packets of fried dumplings. ‘Ready for war?’ 

‘I was born ready.’ 

Thirty-five minutes later, all that was left were the remnants of fried dumplings and three empty containers. 

‘This should be illegal,’ I patted my stomach in satisfaction to his amusement. ‘Laugh at yourself! You lost track of how many dumplings you had and ended up taking my share!’ 

Raising his hands in defeat, Shangqi starts to clear the table up. ‘So how’s the center? Everything alright?’ I nodded numbly. 

The past five years had been a blur. Hazy, even. All I remembered was a kid running into the office telling me that half of the staff disappeared during a school holiday program that we were running with a dozen other kids. Parents who survived the snap rushed to our center, demanding to see their children. We couldn’t give them any answer as we too, were equally perplexed. Maybe the only thing that made sense was Shangqi and Katy bursting into the center to help us with the chaos. 

Coming back from what could be the 1000th phone call, I got a glimpse in the children’s playroom where the five years old kids were at, treating myself to an amusing sight. They all had red cloths draped around their neck, each holding a stick that was from the abandoned prop box. Katy wasn’t spared to as she was wearing her own red cloth that seemed a few sizes to small for her. Not that she didn’t seem to mind. 

‘Alright my warriors! Chargeeeeee!!!!!!’ 

In unison, little pairs of feet pattered across the room towards their ‘enemy’, a cardboard cutout of a monstrous creature who was really just Shangqi in disguise. 

‘RAWR! I’ll eat anyone who stands in my way!’ He stands up, mimicking a dinosaur that was about to trample an entire city. I decided that the paperwork could wait, standing near the door to watch an Oscar-worthy performance. With great effort and bravery from the kids, they finally managed to take down 5 foot 10 worth of muscle. 

‘Again! Again!’ 

I chuckled upon seeing Shangqi on the floor, about to drift off into wonderland. It was time for me to step in. ‘Alright kids that’s enough for today! Dinner’s here.’  As the kids dispersed with the help of Katy, it was just the two of us left to clear up the mess. ‘Thank you so much, both of you. I honestly can’t think of what would happen if you guys didn’t come to help.’ 

Perhaps my body language was screaming ‘I’m dead tired, please just knock me out’ as Shangqi takes a cloth from me, folding it back into the box. ‘It’s what we would have done, this place, it means a lot to us - to me.’ 

A small knock on the door diverts our attention away from the trash. Little Yiman stands at the door, as she stares at the both of us with big round eyes. 

‘Yiman, it’s late, what are you doing here?’ I squat down to her eye level. The little girl beams, ‘ 妈妈 said that I could give this to you!’ She passes me a juice box together with a handmade card with colorful scribbles. Maybe I was carrying too much on my shoulders, as I suddenly felt a boulder lifted off me. ‘Thank you,’ I smile at her sweetly, ‘I love apple juice.’ Happy with the response, she runs to Shangqi. ‘Shangqi 哥哥 gē ge (brother)!’ 

He breaks out into a smile, opening his arms wide. Yiman nuzzles her head into his shoulder before breaking out into uncontrollable giggles from his sudden attack of tickles. ‘Are you hear to help Miss Jen?’ I took the trash from his hands, giving him some time with the girl. 

‘Yes I am. Miss Jen needs some help so I’m here today!’ 

‘Are you her boyfriend?’ 

Shangqi freezes on the spot. He had undergone what could be the toughest training by his father, fought the greatest assassins in the world and here he was - stumped by a question from a seven year old. ‘Well... I’m her close friend since when we were very young,’ Yiman looks at him expectantly. ‘She helped me when I was in trouble so I had to be a good friend when she was in trouble too.’ 

‘Like how Ningning helped me when I injured my knee?’ 

‘Yeah... something like that.’ He breathes a sigh of relief, thankful to escape his first crisis. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he was telling himself the truth. 

‘Yiman! Your mother’s here!’ The little girl gives him one last hug before running to the waiting room. Shangqi takes a moment to recollect himself. ‘Here I am thinking that you finally managed to have some stamina while interacting with young children, maybe I was wrong.’ I teased as I sat beside him. 

‘Har har, hilarious.’ He tosses me a straw for our peach teas, as we were greeted by the amazing night view of San Francisco. ‘Enough about me, you good though?’ Looks like he didn’t forget the conversation that was cut off earlier. My mind goes back to a few minutes earlier, eavesdropping on the conversation.

‘I had to be a good friend when she was in trouble too.’

Life has been so unpredictable, I don’t even want to think too far into the future. With appearances from more superpowered beings, I don’t know what’s real anymore.

‘Yeah. To be honest, it’s been so crazy and overwhelming but I’ll get through it. I have you don’t I?’ Giving him a wink, I slowly sipped on the sweetness of the tea, savoring the pearls. He pauses for a moment, nodding thoughtfully. 

Life isn’t the same as it was before. But maybe, just maybe... if I had Shangqi, I’ll take each day on one at a time. Day by day. 

[END]

A/N: Hoho! I literally spent the whole afternoon writing because I just had to get this idea out and also because work was pretty slow today. I have no idea what is up with my first two fics hinting at unrequited love? I guess I got inspired by Shangqi’s and Katy’s platonic relationship because I thought it was so well written but I also love Shangqi so I guess is a compromise kinda thing. Again, do like and comment if you wish! Really thankful that y’all have been so kind to me so far! 

Perhaps I’ll try my hand at shorter ones like headcannons before this girl exhausts herself out and I don’t want to do that because I believe I have more to show! 

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Halloween edition! Issue 27 (2024)

By Brij, Dion, Bex and Jen

Now Available!

Itch.io - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

One Issue just wasn’t enough!

Halloween might be over, but not at WNIF! So here it is, u a second Halloween edition Issue! Next to the regular WNIF stuff we included a recommendation section full of the best games to play in this time of the year, so be sure to check it out.

We want some feedback!

As we’re starting to get a hand of things, we would love some feedback from you guys! What you enjoy, want more or less off, how we could improve... Anything goes! We even have a nifty form!

Still looking for members!

Due to the severe changes in the Zine team, we are once again looking for free hands with a couple of hours to kill, and minds, looking to make a little difference in the community!

If you too would like to help us out in a more official capacity, please shoot us a message! You can check out the available positions here, but if you’d like to help in any other way, feel free to contact us as well! (We added a new position, so check it out!)

No Small Talk for some time!

We hope you have have a fa-boo-lous time reading this issue!

BRIJ, DION, BEX AND JEN

~ BE A PART OF THE ZINE ~

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : BITSY JAM ~

Fuu, already #85?

Bitsy is a little engine for little games, worlds, and stories created by Adam Le Doux that makes game making look easier than ever! I mean really! You can use it to make a game in your browser just by drawing it! Thanks to the simple pixelated graphics and limited colour palette you can make basically anything from simple short stories to complicated masterpieces.

The first jam (with a yummy theme: Breakfast) took place on April 8th 2017. Now it’s a monthly occurrence, each time with a new challenging theme that the creators themselves (or even possibly you) get to vote on.

Petrichor, temporary, intentionally bad, tomatoes, no dialogue, long distances, secret place, bitsy fest jam, lost media and waiting are just the ten most recent ones. This month’s theme is game manual - the theme can be the core of the game, or just a small reference. Anything really. The main point of this jam is to have fun and make something! (Just make sure that your game is made in one of these: bitsy, mosi or bipsi.)

So why not give it a shot?

~ ENDED ~

The 6th Spooktober Annual Visual Novel Jam is over, the winners have been announced and you can check out the results!

The Revival Jam 2024 is also over and the results are out!

Strip IF to it’s bare bones and all it become beautiful text. That’s what The Bare-Bones Jam is about. You can now check out all 14 submissions!

Phantasia Jam is a three month-long game jam to create a fantasy narrative game, with the theme of “Hidden Magic”. There’s 17 submissions to check out.

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

The voting for ECTOCOMP 2024 has officially started! To vote and participate as a jury, you must do so by giving between 1 to 5 stars on each entry page of the jam. The voting period ends on November 30.

All entries for the Halloween Jam have been submitted and you can now vote for your favourites!

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Disabled Rep VN Jam has a very simple premise but a very important message.

Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted until March 3rd 2025.

Are you perhaps a fan of more somber, melancholic themes? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam! You have until the end of the year to participate.

The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.

Bare your teeth and sharpen your claws because the Monstrous Desires 2024 Visual Novel Jam is here! Dedicated to the love of entities, horrors, and monstrosities, this jam will be full of romantic Visual Novels (VN) that heavily focus on a monster may it be original or from classics, folklore, modern media, etc.

The October Bitsy Jam is here! The theme is game manual and you have until November 11th to submit your projects.

~ OTHER ~

Jams are a great way to find new games! Don’t be afraid to check out submissions from previous years as well. There might be some gems hiding between them!

~ NEW RELEASE ~

Trick-or-Treat (Twine) is all about virtual trick-or-treating, grab your costume and have fun! @softest-punk

The Traded Groom (Unity) is a romance story where you marry a man you’ve never met. @maneki-mushi

Lydia’s Labyrinth (Ren’Py) is a choose your own adventure where you try to get to the end of the labyrinth. @doublefreegames

The end of an obsession is a fictional sequel work to It gets so lonely here.

The Virus Game HALLOWEEN is here.

In Ghostship Delgado (Amstrad CPC) you find yourself on the quarter deck of a mysterious, seemingly abandoned historic ship…

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

Camp Maple Wind (Ren’Py), you saw your sister die there 18 years ago and now you decided to return as the new camp counselor. @tailorfae

Dusk and Dawn (CScript) is a urban fantasy inspired by CYOA’s like Slayers V4. You’ve failed college, what do you do now? @tuskhansworld

Circus Eyes of God (Twine) is a horror interactive fiction where you decide to join a mysterious circus. @circuseyesofgod-if

In Tether (Twine) your an interpreter for a new lord under the occupation of another country. Will you rebel? @runcriedthecrawlingif

Return back to your hometown where you and your friends used to be team of detectives until the incident.... in Return to Misty Cove (CScript) @fluorescent-if

In Red River Academy (CScript) you and your group of friends are murdered in cold blood. But you were brought back, is this a second chance at life? @bratlinwrites

You step out for some fresh air, only to find yourself lost and stranded in the forest overnight in Fickle Solitude (Twine)

In Ice Cream For Love you are a bearfolk ice cream maker. However the newest dietitian-in-training has problems with your product. @atelierursine

In Demon Daycare (Ren’Py) you’ll have to baby the adult demon prince Belphegor. Hope the money is good!

~ UPDATES ~

Devil's Liminal (Ren’Py) released Chapter 2.

Crown of Exile (Twine) Vinia Path is released on Patreon. @ramonag-if

Tales of Wocdes: The Silver Protector (Twine) heritage features have been updated. @tales-of-wocdes

College Tennis: Origin Story (CScript) added halloween bonus to Ko-Fi. @collegetennisoriginstory

Sins of the Crown (CScript) added new content to their demo. @pariahinteractive

The King's Hound (Twine) released a rewritten demo. @the-kingshound

The Mighty Shifter (CScript) released Chapters 4 & 5. @miss-briar-novels

Lucid fate (Twine) released Chapters 3 & 4.5. @lucid-fate-if

Eldritch Tales: Inheritance (CScript) released the final part of Chapter 2.

Saturnine (CScript) added new content to their demo. @satur9-if

Shattered: Oblivion (CScript) reworked their prologue.

Strings of Fate (CScript) released partial Chapter 3.

Text Your Life (Ren’Py) added Chapter 2 Day 1 to their demo.

The Good People (Na Doine Maithe) (Ren’Py) released the first five chapters of Shae and Maeve's routes. @moiraimyths

Tri City Monsters (Ren’Py) released Chapter 3 for Akello. @tricitymonsters

Bridge Ices Before Road (CScript) added new content to their Prologue. @bridgeicesbeforeroadif

Aphni's Quartet: Nightbloom's Veil (Twine) released Chapter 2. @marblesstorystudio

The Brightest Stars (CScript) added the first part of Chapter 3 to their demo. @brightest-stars-if

Weeping Gods (CScript) added new content to their demo. @jcollinswrites

~ OTHER ~

The Kickstarter for Keyframes has started, and even though the main goal has been reached there are still some stretch goals! @blankhouse

The ChoiceBeat Zine Issue 12 is out. We thank them for mentioning our Zine! Go check it out!

Amare Fortnightly Bulletin Issue 27 is here for all your romance needs! @amaregames

Never Gives up Her Dead has released a deluxe version of their game.

The People's House has been officially submitted for publication.

~

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.

If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?

An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

H/T = Horror/Thriller H = Halloween themes S = Supernatural C = Creepy

~ RECOMMENDATIONS (COMPLETE) ~

Halloween Scrooge (H) by Vanade of Hamilton Hour (Ren’Py)

A short Halloween spin on A Christmas Carol... and you can flirt with the ghosts! //submitted by anon//

Killer Chat (H/T) by @rosesrotofficial (???)

After asking too many murder-related questions online (for your book), you get an invite to a... serial killer chatroom?! What the fuck?

A Zombie Head Went Missing at the Party Full of CUTE MONSTER GIRLS!? (S) by MaroonDrops (???)

Half gorgon Jade Mason finds herself dragged to a party full of monsters, she doesn't have high hopes.

Therapy with Dr. Albert Krueger (H/T) by dino999z (Ren'Py)

Has work been feeling more tiring than usual?

Your mood, confusing and uneasy?

Then it sounds like you need our newly patented ★DREAM THERAPY★!

A Series of Interactive Stories Where No Matter What You Do You Are Immediately Killed by a Werewolf (S) by Luke Burns (Twine)

The name just says it all.

AL - A Choose Your Own Adventure (H/T) by Gabriel Cornish (Twine)

You are a student going on their first date in a long, long time. Only problem is your apartment is trying to kill you with your own clutter!

Spooble: A Search Engine Story (H/T) by All the bees (Unity)

Are babies supposed to do that?

Cal's Costume Conundrum!! (H) by amarvelous (Ren’Py)

Which costume is the best? Cal needs to know! Infiltrate her siblings’ Halloween party, interview the guests, and crown a winner!

Restore, Reflect, Retry (H/T) by Natalia Theodoridou (CScript)

This is a haunted game about a haunted game. You've played this game before. You may not remember, but the game does.

Model Employee (H/T ) by Nth Circle (Unity)

If you want to get ahead in your career, you gotta be willing to take some risks.

Contrition (H/T) by akfedeau (Twine)

As a priest, it’s your job to listen to your parishioners’ darkest secrets and absolve their guilt. But when a sinister stranger comes to the confessional one Halloween night, you realize it’s your soul on the line.

Quoth the Raven… (C) by gamedevillibrarian (???)

Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Raven', with some spooky ambiance. What else do you need?

Hallowmoor (H) by Mike Snyder (Twine)

Your quest: infiltrate Castle Hallowmoor, find the potion, and make it out alive.

Keeper’s Curse (H/T) by CParadis777 (Godot)

Stranded on a remote island after your Lightkeeper duty has ended you must ration and scavenge for supplies while awaiting your delayed relief crew.

Dicentra (H/T) by caffeine (Ren’Py)

You play as Basil, a young boy lost in a forest of watchful trees and unfriendly guides.

Tales from Castle Balderstone by Ryan Veeder (Inform7)

This is Castle Balderstone, and tonight is the night when the greatest spook-crafters convene to share their hair-raising handiwork with each other.

Muertos by Medley Games (Twine)

You are a lost undead wandering the Aztec afterlife, only to come across a strange city.

Dawn of the Damned (H/T) by Melancholy Marionette (Unity)

Anxious to attend your job interview at Aurora Antiques, you arrive to discover a room full of melancholy mannequins. One, in particular, captures your interest, drawing you closer.

Seance (S) by Alex Rose (???)

A murder case has gone cold, and the NRPD has asked you to help them solve it, on account of your abilities as a psychic medium.

~ RECOMMENDATIONS (WIP) ~

Samsara (H/T + S) by Amelia (???)

After being killed by the same hands in every past life you decide to take your killer's life instead. //submitted by anon//

Parasitical (H/T) by @parasitical-if (CScript)

You grew up under the masked faces of their Exalted, under the stories of Earth past. Rusted metal and cracked plastic; His bone and His flesh. Conflicting worlds, conflicting times, and soon, it might all come to a head.

Seven days in Purgatory (H/T) by @sevendaysinpurgatory-if (CScript)

Seven days in Purgatory is a psychological thriller ripe with philosophical musings and sensuality.

Taste, hear, think, feel, love… Run. //recommended by Dion [team]//

Did we miss your favourite game? Don’t worry, there’s still a chance! Fill out this form and we will include it in our regular Highlight on.... section!

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Thank you for keep updating! I really don't want to miss any IF updates but it's hard to find everything. So thank you for all the effort.

@waywardartisanoafhound-blog

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank:

our awesome anons! For sending us their game recommendations!

And a special thanks to Bex [team] for all the work she’s done for the zine.

And as always, huge thanks to all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on last week's issue! What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us!

Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It come with sad news that me (Bex) is having to leave the Zine….for now at least.

I joined back in August and honestly it was crazy time, especially with the sad passing of Marjorie. I honestly enjoyed what we’ve made of it and don’t regret it in the slightest. Life has sadly go in the way of me and I just don’t have the time to continue you this on. I’m hoping the New Year will bring peace and with it me back to the Zine.

Love you all ❣

And we will see you next week in our traditional colours!

BRIJ, DION, BEX, JEN

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 27

[cooloddball]

your thoughts about saying Mish and Jen meeting at the right time is really interesting because I reckon their interactions would have been very different, as you said Jensen was the kind of person to thank jesus for an award and misha was a bit of a rebel, so they probably would have had this very interesting chemistry, but it'd be like enemies to friends to lovers (or friends whichever way you think...i am just perceiving) - where as by the time they met now, Jensen was with Danneel so I 1/?

think Danneel kind of helped him become a bit more liberal (okay that's not the word but more just relaxed and helped maybe with toxic masculinity etc - he didn't drink with straws until he was into his 30s etc). Which is why Danneel and Misha get on so well cause they're quite alike. 2/2

I get what you mean and as much as I believe Danneel brought him out of his shell, I don't think Jensen was ever in any shell, it was a perfectly curated image for his career. There is nothing wrong with that, we all have images to uphold when it comes to our jobs and public lives vis-à-vis our privates lives.

You may be wondering why I'm saying it was crafted image and not a shell. Remember Jensen when he came to Hollywood, a young 18-year-old fair-haired charming boy. He seemed so free and happy being with his best friend (read as bf imo) Ty.

Here are a few posts about Jensen and Ty, including photos and interviews.

Then, he joined Days of Our Lives and he had other "relationships" with men that were pretty sus and rumours started circulating that he was gay.

Even his friend Ty tweeted something rather weird

Maybe it has nothing to do with Jensen but...There’s a lot to unpack about his and Ty’s relationship. It’s mind boggling.

You also mentioned him drinking with straws until he was in his 30s. He said his dad told him that real men don’t drink through straws. That’s an odd thing for a father to say to their child. Was he worried that Jensen wasn’t “manly”? Like what would prompt a parent to say that to their child? I don’t want to assume anything but that statement gave me John Winchester vibes. The fact that also Jensen had to call his dad after every episode of spn aired to get his feedback is just nerve wrecking, I can’t even imagine what it was like for him. Maybe that’s why he left home as soon as he turned 18. He was supposed to go to college with Ty but he moved to Hollywood instead and Ty took a gap year to join him there and they became “roommates”. As I said, there’s a Lot to unpack from his past life. 

In Hollywood you need to have a certain public image to get certain jobs. Do you think if he were perceived as gay he would be cast as Dean? Of course not. So, I think he was always and still is that carefree guy he was back then but as you said Dee who is a rebel helped him shed his layers but he still had some left. And then Misha came along and it was like his whole world was turned upside down. He has said that Misha and Dee are twisted and very similar so I can't even imagine the chaos that is Misha, Dee and Vicki. Once Dee,  Misha and  Vicki came into his life, hewas now with people who lived their lives on their own terms, unapologetically. And it may have taken a while but he shed all of the shells he had. 

That's why the Jensen we saw on the gag reels was not the same Jensen we used to see on panels. He was always freer in panels where Misha was present be it a cockles panel or a J2M panel. He even started being overly affectionate by giving Misha behind the ear kisses on the red carpet, spanking him, caressing his face during public interviews etc.

I mean as the years went by he shed more of his shell to the point where he wasn't afraid of what people thought anymore and as much as some people may say straddlegate is not public, it is in the public domain, YouTube is in the public domain. It just takes a few keyboard strokes "Jensen 2019 cons" and jib10 will show up among other things.

He also went ahead to post that jib10 selfie on his IG. Which tbh is gay AF. I have never seen men stand dick to dick, nip to nip and abs to abs like that before unless they were on top of each other or against each other doing grown-up things.

So I think if he met Misha back then, it wouldn’t have ended well for them. Jensen was too focused on his career and how he is perceived while Misha used acting as a means to an end to reach more people for socio-political change. A goal he has achieved. Acting was never his endgame. So, I think that as much as they would have fallen madly in love when they were younger, it would’ve ended badly and we probably wouldn’t have gotten Misha playing Cas or destiel or cockles. In retrospect, maybe it could’ve still happened because by the time Misha joined the show, Jensen was starting to be his real self again thanks to Dee.

I'm rambling now. I hope this makes sense because I'm never sure if I make any sense.

[spacedikut]

starstruck ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x f!reader

summary:  “Can I request some age gap Spencer x reader. Maybe he’s nervous about approaching her for a relationship bc she’s younger, but he’s so goofy for her it’s he’s in love obvious. Pretty pls 🥺💕” 5222 words

a/n: i didn’t specify ages cause i wasn’t sure what people would be comfortable with so i just mentioned an age gap and leave the rest up to you!! i would happily date someone twice my age but i also have daddy issues so :)

masterlist

The day has finally arrived.

Mollie can call you a nerd all she wants, but you know the second she lays eyes on Derek Morgan or Emily Prentiss she’ll change her tune.

This event has been in the university’s calendar since the beginning of the semester. At least two members of the FBI Behavioural Analysis Unit were promised to give a talk about their department, even taking you through a solved case like an interactive documentary, to encourage students to consider joining the academy post-graduation. There was whispers they’d even stick around after to answer some questions.

Your other friend, Jen, the one that understands your excitement, wrote your names down for tickets immediately. You’ve had a countdown on your phone ever since.

“They’ve announced a last-minute guest,” She beams, just as giddy as you. You’re wasting time at the coffee house near the auditorium, waiting for Mollie to arrive.

“Oh, really? Who?”

“Doctor Spencer Reid.”

You almost drop your cookie in shock and stare at her, pupils blown.

“You’re a big fan?” She smirks.

As nonchalantly as you can, you lean back in your chair, “I’m a fan of his work, yes.”

“Oh, his work?”

“Don’t start.”

“I bet you love his work.”

“He’s well-versed and his papers are super interesting-“

“His papers are super interesting-“

“You are a child.”

Just then, Mollie appears, checking her watch. You wish you could kiss her in thanks for saving you from the teasing that would likely never end. “We’re gonna be late for your morbid seminar if you two don’t stop bickering.”

Jen downs the rest of her drink, you shove the last of the cookie in your mouth. Mollie watches your excitement in amusement – your heart starts pumping, whole body buzzing, the same nervousness you felt when you were a preteen right before your first ever One Direction concert. It’s the kind of nervousness that makes your palms sweaty.

Is it evolution or devolution to go from sweating over One Direction to sweating over FBI profilers?

+++

The seminar goes on for an hour, including the questions people ask throughout. It’s everything you could’ve asked for, entertaining and so, so informative and although you weren’t considering joining the FBI before, suddenly it’s all you can think about. Guest speakers have that affect, don’t they? They make you wonder if you should drastically change everything you’ve been planning.

Even Mollie, who you had to threaten to tag along, ended up enjoying herself. “Maybe I learnt a thing or two,” She’d said, rolling her eyes playfully.

You and your friends are some of the last to leave. There’s quite the bustling outside, which you assume is just post-seminar chatter, but you and Jen falter in your steps when you see the exact profilers that had been onstage several minutes ago in front of you, happily interacting and talking to fellow students.

“Oh, man,” Jen whispers, her and Mollie making eye contact across you. “I have to see if I can talk to Emily.”

Mollie encourages her with a frantic, “Go! Go!” while you’re rooted in place. Mollie jabs you with a pointed nail, “You in there, Y/N? I’m sure you have loads of questions for them-“

You stutter and shake your head, “N-no. I’m good. You can try and hit on Derek, if you want.”

You give a half-attempt at a smile, barely lifting the corners of your lips. Mollie recognises that look. She wants to stay with you, check you’re not too overwhelmed, but you shoo her away and send her towards Derek. You breathe a sigh of relief – you’ve been friends with her long enough that she knows when you need space.

There’s something about seeing people you admire so abruptly that totally throws you for a loop. All you had prepared for was seeing them from afar and subsequently talking about it forever, but nothing beyond that. In some circumstances, it’d be a pleasant surprise, but for someone that struggles around strangers and especially around people as admirable as profilers, you are not mentally prepared for this and have therefore shut down.

But then you see him.

He’s shuffling in place in the corner of the room, close to a large potted plant like it’s his only friend. He’s nibbling his lip as his eyes flutter around, never staying somewhere for longer than a second, looking increasingly uncomfortable.

Why is no one talking to him? He’s Spencer Reid.

There’s a couple of people surrounding Emily, fully entranced by whatever story she’s relaying, another few people around Derek, chortling at a joke he just made. Spencer glances between them and their audiences, and you can’t help but wonder why he isn’t right next to them, chatting away, too.

Does he not want to talk to anyone?

You should talk to him.

No. He probably wants to be alone.

Or what if he doesn’t and no one else is talking to him which means you can have a one-on-one conversation? What about that?

Are you insane?

…

You have to talk to him.

Before you can change your mind, you’re approaching him with a tight grip on the handle of your bag, pushing it higher up your shoulder. He spots you and makes eye contact just as you stop in front of him, and you notice he momentarily tightens his grip on his satchel.

Was this a bad idea?

“Hi,” You breathe, “I’m Y/N. A big fan.”

His eyes widen a fraction, which you don’t understand because why else would you be here, but he smiles nonetheless, “Hi, I’m, uh, Spencer Reid.”

“I know.”

“Yes, you know. That makes sense, because you were in the seminar. I saw you.”

Now you’re shocked. For as long as you can remember you never sit in the centre of a room, where most attention seems to go, so how did he-

“I-I always scan the room I’m in its.. it’s not a creepy thing, I swear. I’m not creepy.”

A laugh escapes you at that, making him visibly relax. “I don’t think you’re creepy. There was just.. a lot of people in there, so I’m surprised you remember my face.” You shrug.

I couldn’t forget such a beautiful face.

You don’t know what happens, but Spencer suddenly tenses up. His back straightens and he looks alarm, stiff.

Did he just think that? What.. why did he think that?

You wonder if you’ve said something wrong, so you try to change the topic.

“I-I have a question, if you don’t mind answering.”

Spencer nods with an of course, and when the question rolls off your tongue, his mind is still reeling from subconsciously calling you beautiful in his head. It’s not untrue, but it feels.. inappropriate. He doesn’t know why. But you are beautiful.

As he scans your face, now much closer than in the auditorium, he realises yeah, you are incredibly beautiful.

You wave a hand in front of his face, “Doctor Reid?”

“Sorry, yes, sorry. What are you studying?”

There’s a light in your eyes that Spencer recognises when you say, “Psychology.”

“Thought so.”

“You probably talk to a lot of psychology students. I-um. I almost went to Caltech,” Spencer raises an eyebrow, "After I read your dissertation, it really inspired me to look into it – your dissertation is incredible, by the way.”

Spencer smiles bashfully, a futile attempt to not allow the grin to overtake his face, and thanks you, “I appreciate it. Actually, I was sixteen when I wrote it.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Your eyes widen, “You’re insane! You’re amazing!”

The praise bursts from you, and his blushing face makes you oddly proud. On the other hand, Spencer feels like you’ve set him alight, his blood pumping loudly in his ears, as he’s unable to tear his eyes away from your smile.

He desperately needs to change the topic.

“To answer your question…”

Derek notices you two interacting across the room. Mollie sees him looking and hums, “Oh, that’s Y/N, my best friend. She really likes Spencer.”

Derek raises an eyebrow, “Looks like he really likes her.”

“Don’t tell her that. She’ll collapse.”

They both watch you for a second, Spencer flailing his arms as he explains, you eagerly adding to his rambling, asking a question here and exclaiming some kind of encouragement there. It’s sweet, Derek thinks.

“Hey..” Mollie begins, a scheming look in her eye, “We’re planning to hang out in the campus bar later. It’s open to all and the drinks are cheap. If you and Emily happen to find yourselves looking for something to do and you drag Spencer along.. I’m sure Y/N would like it.”

“I like the way you think,” Derek says, “I’ll see what I can do.”

+++

“She’s getting hit on. Again.” You giggle, gesturing for Jen to turn around and witness Mollie get your drinks paid for by a random guy.

She’s always been a people person – it’s saved you hundreds on nights out.

All Jen does is glance over her shoulder, scoff, then turn her sceptical eyes to you.

“I saw you and Spencer Reid.” She says, twinkling eyes. She’s trying not to look smug.

“I almost proposed to him.” You joke, taking your drink from Mollie with a mumbled thanks.

“Oh, I bet you did,” She laughs, “You two looked sooo good together.”

“Alright,” You slide a shot to each girl, “I know you’re making fun of me, but I’m taking that compliment and cherishing it. Spencer Reid is cute, what of it?!”

You clink the shot glasses with your friends and down them, all wincing at the taste and giggling at Jen when she takes a gulp of her cocktail to wash away the taste of straight vodka.

“How did talking to Derek and Emily go?”

And then Jen starts chattering away.

You miss the bar door opening behind you, But Mollie notices. She’s been watching the door since they got here, conveniently choosing the table with the best view, just in case some profilers decided to stop by.

Derek catches Mollie’s eye and winks.

“Well I never,” Mollie fakes shock, “Look who just walked through the doors.”

You turn and choke on your drink. Emily and Derek look relax, like they’re home, but Spencer?

He looks just like he did earlier: like there’s a million places he’d rather be.

He’s lost the blazer he was wearing earlier, leaving him in a fitted purple shirt with a matching tie. With the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, you can see his firm hands and the silver watch that rests on his wrist – is it possible for a watch to be sexy? Or maybe it’s just cause he’s sexy?

That shot must be getting to you.

“What the hell are they doing here?” You hiss, a sharp whisper piercing the air as you turn and (terribly) try to hide your face.

But Spencer’s seen you. He spotted you the moment they came in – he recognised your clothes and your hair – and the second he did he turned right back around to exit the bar. Derek’s arm stopped him at his chest, like he does to unsubs, forcefully turning him around and laughing when Spencer tensed up.

“What, Reid? Scared of a pretty girl?” Derek teases, much like he’d been doing since he spoke to you earlier.

“I am scared of college girls, yes. Last time I was in a college bar I was twelve and downed shots of apple juice.”

“What?!” Both Emily and Derek stop short, looks of disbelief at the revelation. “You’ve never mentioned that.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“We,” Derek places his hands on Spencer’s shoulders, directing him to your table, “Are just gonna have a few drinks and talk to a few people, and then you’re gonna explain that apple juice story in explicit detail- hey ladies!”

Jen and Mollie look overjoyed at the new company, while you stare rigidly with distinctive what the fuck eyes.

“Would you mind if we joined you?” Emily asks, with a sparkling grin that no one could say no to.

“Of course not,” Jen grins, like it’s the most obvious answer.

The empty seat next to you is taken by Spencer (Derek discreetly shoves him) but right before he’s firmly placed on the stool, Emily calls out, “Spence, why don’t you get us some drinks? You still owe us after you lost that game of gin..”

“I didn’t lose.” Spencer huffs indignantly, “You cheated.”

Despite his grunts, he stands to make his way to the bar, but not before-

“Y/N!” Mollie beams, “It’s your turn to get the round, if you’d be so kind.”

You know that look on her face. You hate her, you realise, but you also love her because being alone with Spencer sends a thrill through you.

Alone with Spencer. What the hell are you supposed to say to him?

You follow him to the bar. He leans against it with an awkward smile.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey.”

“It’s uh.. it’s been a long time since we’ve seen eachother.” It’s a half attempt at a joke, followed by instant regret. But then you giggle and everything feels right in the world, even Spencer’s sucky joke.

“It has been a while, Doctor Reid.” You say. The bartender approaches, takes your orders, then you turn to Spencer, “What brings you to a college bar, of all places?”

“Well,” Spencer glances over your shoulder to your table. He makes eye contact with every single person there, all watching you two interact, and they all sharply turn and try to play it off like they’ve been talking casually. Spencer’s brows furrow a little. “Derek said the drinks are cheap and our hotel is only a couple blocks away. I don’t know, maybe Derek likes college girls.”

You laugh again, and Spencer has to take a second to realise you’re not laughing at him but at what he said about Derek. “Yeah, Derek seems like a real ladies man.”

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it.” Spencer grins, “We once timed him to see how long it would take to get a girls number and he did it in five minutes. And he said he was having a bad day.”

The drinks are placed in front of you. Neither of you notice.

You unconsciously lean closer, saying, “Have you timed it to see how long it takes for a girl to approach him? That’s gotta be, like, maybe ten minutes?”

“Eight minutes and twenty-three seconds.”

“Well damn. Has he always been so…” A hand gestures in the air, looking for the word.

“Promiscuous?”

“I was gonna say free.”

“Free?” Spencer giggles, “That’s very nice of you.”

You shrug, “I don’t judge.” Spencer agrees, and it slips out, “What about you?”

You wish you could shove the words back in your mouth. Even more so when his expression changes. You can’t entirely make out what it is, but even in the dimly lit bar you can see the flush of heat that spreads through his cheeks to his ears.

“Are you asking me if I’m free with the ladies?” He murmurs, suppressing a grin.

You give an awkward laugh, wondering if you’ve overstepped a boundary, “Yeah. But that’s kinda weird to ask, so-“

“I’m so popular with the ladies it puts Derek to shame.”

You can’t hide your surprise. “What? Really?”

Spencer caves. “No. Is it that hard to believe I’m a ladies man?”

“Compared to Derek? Yes.”

Spencer scoffs.

+++

“As adorable as they are, it’s been thirty minutes.” Emily sighs. “I want my drink.”

“They’re bonding,” Jen sends a wistful look, “I’m so proud.”

“I’m guessing Y/N isn’t the most social either?” Derek asks, proudly watching you interact.

“She’s the best, just a little shy sometimes.” She smiles at you, even though you can’t see, “She’s an idiot, but our idiot, you know?”

Both Emily and Derek laugh airily, nodding with a, “Yeah, we know.”

At once, three phones vibrate throughout the bar – Emily, Derek and Spencer. They’re instantly filled with disappointment; Derek can’t watch Spencer attempt to flirt with a girl he’s obviously interested in, Emily still hasn’t got a drink, and Spencer has to leave you and he can’t think of anything worse.

He’s clearly hesitant when he looks at his phone. How does he say goodbye? Does he ask for your number? Would that be weird? That would be weird.

“Uhh…”

You channel every ounce of liquid courage you have in your body and offer, “Would it be weird if I gave you my number? Just.. for anything. Anything at all.”

Spencer nods, a gentle look in his eyes and a smile on his face, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

You mumble an alright, accepting Spencer’s phone and creating a new contact for yourself.

Please text me. You think. Please text me.

+++

He doesn’t text.

It’s been a week. A week. You know how cases are, some take longer than others and some are solved in literal hours, but it’s been a week, Spencer goddamn Reid, so why haven’t you texted me.

That’s when the doubt creeps in. Your friends keep telling you he’ll text, that he’s just busy (“He’s an FBI agent, Y/N. If you start dating you’re gonna have to get used to lapses in contact.” To which you’re too distracted choking at the mention of you two dating), but you can’t help but wonder if he took your number simply so he could leave quicker. He had a case to get to, after all. He had people to save.

Now you feel guilty. You forced your number on him, didn’t you? Oh God, he hates you. He hates you and you forced your number on him and he hasn’t texted you because he’s filing a restraining order against you because he hates you.

Mollie tells you you need a nap.

+++

Spencer spends the time on the jet back from the case staring at your number. He has it memorised, of course, and has had it memorised from the first time he read it, of course, but he can’t bring himself to do anything with it.

All he’s done is change your contact picture from the standard first letter of your name to a cute picture of a frog Garcia sent him. It reminds him of you.

Derek lowers his headphones, “You texted her yet, Pretty Boy?”

“Huh? Uh, no. I don’t think I will.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” Spencer shrugs, locking his phone and placing it face down. “I don’t think anything would come from it.”

“Kid,” Derek leans forward, eyebrows furrowed, “You two talked for well over thirty minutes in the middle of a college bar about God knows what. Maybe I’m easy to impress, but that seemed pretty special to me.”

“How is talking in a college bar worth anything?”

“Because you’re Reid, who, most of the time, has to be physically dragged into a bar. You hate talking to strangers about anything other than work. Y/N? A stranger. What did you two talk about?”

“We talked about you a little.”

“Uhuh. About how good I am at my job?”

“God, no,” Spencer scrunches his nose, “We talked about your charm with the ladies.”

Derek falls back in his chair and scoffs, “I’m flattered, but that doesn’t sound like work-talk to me. So you’re comfortable with her. I saw you laughing, so she makes you laugh, too. Sounds pretty great to me.”

Spencer stares. Derek’s right, but..

“So what is it, Reid?”

Spencer licks his lips. “Do you think she’s too young for me?”

Derek rarely looks taken aback, but he does now, “Too young?”

“She’s in college. I’m-I’m-“

“A legal adult. As is she.”

Spencer slumps. “A 2014 Current Population Survey found the average difference for a heterosexual couple is two-point-three years, with the man older than the woman. Even if you double that, that’s still less than me and Y/N-“

“Four years isn’t a lot, Spence,”

“You just.. you don’t think it’s weird?”

“No. Do you?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know.”

Derek’s conviction gives Spencer some reassurance, but he can’t help himself when he thinks that.. maybe.. you’ll find him boring. Most people seem to, with all his statistics and figures and facts, but with the added element of you living it up at college.. how could he compete?

“I think you’re worrying over nothing, Reid. You haven’t even texted her, and you’re already worrying about stuff like age gaps?” Derek crosses his hands and looks at Spencer with determination, “She gave you her number. She initiated it. She knows who you are, so she knows how old you are and it doesn’t seem to make her uncomfortable. So, why should it make you?”

Spencer just grunts.

“Are you worried people will say things?”

“I guess.”

“People always say things. You know that better than anyone. So screw ‘em.”

Spencer feels a smile creep onto his face.

And Derek relaxes. He’s planted the seeds, that Spencer is fretting over nothing, now all he’s got to do is wait for Spencer to let it sink in and allow the flowers to bloom and, next thing you know, Spencer’s gonna have himself the perfect girlfriend.

And Derek will take too much credit for it.

+++

“Heeeeeeeeey my precious Doctor…”

Garcia looks like her hand was caught in the cookie jar.

Spencer’s back straightens. “What did you do?”

She looks embarrassed, fiddling with the fluffy pen in her hand. She smiles awkwardly. “Derek may have told me about a pretty little college student that captured your heart, and then he told me you also haven’t texted her yet, so I did a little digging and…”

“You cyber-stalked Y/N?” Emily asks, casually. JJ seems unphased at the discussion. Does everyone in the office know about you?

“I did. I’m guilty. I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.” She’s speaking a mile a minute.

Emily spares Spencer a glance, “Did you find anything?”

“Well…”

Concern fills Spencer. “Did something happen?”

“I just found some stuff she’d probably only tell a close friend and I feel really bad about it.” Her shoulders are by her ears as she tries to fold in on herself out of guilt, “But other than that she’s a genuinely sweet girl who volunteers at pet shelters and the college library in her free time and we have really similar music tastes so I think we’d make great friends.”

They all look to Spencer, waiting for his reaction. What? Is he supposed to be surprised that you’re the epitome of perfect? He’s not. He studied you the entire time you spoke.

“She’s also written several incredible papers on child development that I think are revolutionary and I totally emailed them to you because I think you should read them. She’s also a genius.”

Spencer’s hand twitches. He ignores the sudden need to check his email.

It’s silent as they just stare at him. He doesn’t say anything and tries not to react, but he does. They notice how his eyes flicker to his phone, how his leg fidgets, the longing in his eyes.

Emily brushes her hair back calmly and asks, “Hey, Pen, when does Y/N work at the college library?”

Penelope doesn’t catch on at first, casually replying, “Oh, basically every day from five pm onwards. They’re a twenty-four hour library and she combines working and studying.” When she sees Emily pointedly look at Spencer, she goes ohhh.

“Good to know,” Emily nods, “Good to know.”

+++

Spencer finds himself at the college library that night.

He wants to say it was an accident, or that he just happens to know there’s a special edition of a specific book here, but he’d be lying. He read your papers between reports, and found himself having a deep appreciation for the way you write – he wants to ready everything you’ve ever written. Every essay, every note, every formal and informal piece of work you’ve ever done.

He’s already fallen in love with the way you write. He doesn’t think he’s far from falling in love with you.

He wanders around the lower floor of the library. It’s impressive, he must admit, and he’s disappointed in himself for not visiting earlier. There’s students everywhere, but he notices some other people mixed in too – professors, businesspeople, as well as parents with their children.

He feels a little less weird for creeping around now.

Not that’s he’s creeping. He’s just.. there. To see a certain someone under the guise of looking for a book.

He moseys for a while, from the fiction section to the non-fiction to comics to autobiographies. You’re nowhere to be found – not between the rows of books, not working on any of the desks, not at the centre reception desk.

Until you’re suddenly behind him.

“Spencer?”

He jumps, looking up from the book he’s reading. Your voice is as calming and smooth as always.

“Y/N. Hi.”

“Hi,” Your brows are furrowed, but you’re not disappointed by the unexpected visitor. “What are you doing here?”

He lifts the book he’s holding, an Arthur Conan Doyle, giving a light lipped smile. “I’m just looking. I didn’t realise the college library was so plentiful – did you know the oldest library in the world dates from the seventh century BC?”

“I do, actually.” You point to a poster behind him, which displays that exact fact, “I thought dotting facts around the library would be interesting for the kids. They seem to like them.”

“Learning in young children is socially mediated, so good quality learning environments outside of their schools is crucial for children’s development. So, in a way, you’re enriching their lives beyond understanding.”

You’re flattered at his somewhat far-fetched attempt at complimenting you. It makes your heart flutter.

Why didn’t you contact me, you dimwit?

You open your mouth to ask another question, ask if there’s something he needs help finding, when he beats you to it.

With a firm grip, he slams the book he’s reading shut and says, “I’m lying.”

“Oh?”

“I didn’t come here to.. look around. I came here to see you.”

“Oh.”

Spencer doesn’t know what to make of that. You haven’t awkwardly looked away, or stepped back to increase the distance between you. That means something good, right?

“You didn’t text me, so I assumed you weren’t interested.” Your brows twitch, and you back-pedal, “Unless you purposely didn’t text me because you actually weren’t interested and you might be here to see me but for something book-related rather than me-related and I’ve totally humiliated myself.”

“No, no. You’re right. You’re right.” He fiddles with the book in shame, “I should’ve texted you. I just didn’t know what to say and.. Well, it’s stupid.”

Your head jerks a little to the side, something he’s noticed you do a lot, looking patient and too pretty for him to handle. “I’m sure it’s not stupid.”

Spencer thinks back to his conversation with Derek, specifically the reminder that you gave him your number which means you initiated this so yes, you are interested in him.

It’s just.. when he looks at you, he struggles to believe it a little. You’re breath-taking.  

“I’m worried I’ll bore you.” He starts light, easing you into what’s been troubling him. He’s emboldened by the fact you’re clearly frustrated he didn’t text you.

You give him a look of horror, “The first time we met I told you I loved your dissertation on geographic regression. I definitely do not think you’re anything anywhere near boring.”

“Okay,” He nods, “What about our ages?”

You’re confused. “What about it?”

Spencer mirrors your expression. “It doesn’t.. bother you?”

“Does it.. bother you?”

Usually, answering a question with a question is a sign of deflection, a sign of hiding something. However he doesn’t know why, but Spencer trusts you with his life. Maybe not his life. Maybe his heart.

“Does that silence mean yes?”

He shakes his head, “No. It doesn’t bother me. I just worry that, you know, college years are the so-called best years of your life and I don’t want you to regret being with me, someone older than you, and resent me for it, or something-“

“I think you’re getting way in your head, Spence.” You laugh a little, “We haven’t gone on a single date and you’ve convinced yourself of so much already. For the record, no, your age doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It never has and I doubt it ever will. I think you’re the most fascinating and interesting person on this planet, and if anyone is getting bored with anyone I’m pretty confident it’ll be you getting sick of me. And,” You take a breath, “I think I’m old enough to know what I want, who I want, and what I want is you. If you want me, too.”

Spencer shoves the book back into the bookshelf with a satisfying sound, then turns and quickly places a kiss onto your cheek. It’s completely unexpected and, quite frankly, not something you’d expect from Doctor Reid, but you blush and there’s a definite red colour to Spencer’s cheeks, too.

“I will never, ever, get sick of you.” He says, voice small but firm. “But I don’t want you to regret being with me. Promise me you won’t.”

You give him a look that tells him you think he’s ridiculous. “I promise that I won’t regret being with you. I’d like us to last as long as possible, if I can be picky.”

“I’d like that, too.” He murmurs. The thought of you wanting him for as long as possible almost sends him into a frenzy. He wants to kiss you all over.

You stand close and talk quietly for a while, a little more discussion on a possible date that weekend and a constant stream of compliments from you to Spencer and vice versa, before you realise the time.

“I should probably go. I have a paper to finish.” You smile sadly, a tiny pout forming.

“I understand. Do you think I could read it? When you’re done?”

Your eyebrows shoot up, “Do you know how terrifying the idea of the Spencer Reid reading my work is? But yes, anything for you.”

Anything for you. Are you trying to kill him?

You turn to leave, refusing to admit how sad leaving Spencer makes you feel, when you stop, “One more thing.”

Spencer hums. He’s not fully paying attention, praying to whatever Gods exist that killers take a break on the weekend so he can take you out on the sweetest date.

“If age is a sore area for you,” There’s mirth in your eyes and Spencer prepares himself, “Does that mean the nickname old man is off the table?”

His lips purse and move towards his nose as he narrows his eyes, giving you a look of faux annoyance, “I am not an old man.”

“Sounds like you’re sensitive, old man.”

As you walk away, you jokingly blow him a kiss to add insult to injury. His pretend glare lasts until your back is turned and he feels his gaze softening to something akin to love.

Spencer thins if the rest of his life is this, you teasing him with that twinkle in your eye and smile on your face, then life is truly the most beautiful thing.

[ayellowcurtain]

that cute little bit about Robbe filming Sander got to me!! If you have time, could you write a little series or drabble about the different snippets Robbe films of Sander and their lives together, please?

Based on this post I made some time ago 

The first video Robbe made was the same day he got the camera. Sander gave it to him on their first month anniversary and Robbe was so excited. Now only because of the cool camera Sander had found for a good price and gave it to himself instead of keeping to himself, but the thought that Sander noticed how interested Robbe was in making videos. Not the stupid vlogs, but actual videos for his future self.

He took the camera everywhere with him that day, but he only recorded when they came to Sander’s place after going out to eat (with the boys) to celebrate their anniversary. The first few seconds are of Sander’s bed and you can hear his deep, soothing voice explaining to Robbe what each button does. You can only see their feet in the frame and you can see when Robbe’s feet move like he’s sitting on his side.

“Robin, you’re going to bribe all your teachers?” And you can hear Robbe’s humming, agreeing, and the sounds of his soft kisses on Sander’s cheek until you hear them kissing and the screens turn black.

The second video is of Robbe skating, he films his own feet skating and then what he’s seeing in front of him. The huge wall with his face on it comes closer and closer. Robbe stops moving and zooms in until you can see only his face in all those bright colors. He puts the camera down somewhere that in the frame you can see him going to sit on that wall Robbe first saw the mural and he eats something while looking at himself, smiling for no reason, thinking about how amazing Sander is.

The third video is with Sander again. The video starts with Robbe filming Sander at the bar, trying to hold three glasses of beer, carefully walking back to their table, giving one beer to Robbe, and the other one to Jens, keeping the other one to himself. He notices Robbe filming him and he gives one of those shy smiles he has, walking around the table to sit next to Robbe. Robbe zooms a little so you can see Sander from his shoulders up, still smiling and when he sits, Robbe shows how close they’re sitting and Sander’s hand coming to rest on his thigh.

The fourth video is of Robbe. While editing he blushes a lot but watches the short video a million times before adding it to his edit. Sander filmed him while he was asleep. He was at the end of the bed and Robbe was lying down, mostly covered by the sheets and heavy blankets that Sander uses. His arms are stretched across the bed like he tried to stop Sander from getting up, but fell back asleep in the process. His hair is a little too combed and it’s because Sander tends to play with his hair before falling asleep. When they’re just cuddling, talking about random things until they fall asleep or when they just had sex and Robbe is ready to sleep and Sander is still riding his high.

The sixth video is of Sander cooking, almost burning himself while frying something in a pan. Robbe is a little taller than him, sitting on the table and you can only see Sander’s back, him laughing at how messy of a cook he is, singing some Bowie song as his life depends on it just because it makes Robbe laugh. He doesn’t even notice he’s been filmed this time.

The seventh video Robbe is filming the floor, the bed, his surroundings. He loves that hotel suite since the first time they came here. It’s their six months anniversary and even though they don’t make a big deal out of every month, tonight Sander decided to bring him back to their hotel. Robbe stops in front of the mirror and you can see Sander almost ready to go back home, grabbing some things they forgot to collect, he smiles at Robbe’s reflection and walks up to him, hugging him from behind, kissing his neck, and looking at the mirror again.

“Five stars on booking.”

The eighth is someone else recording. You can hear Jens’ voice behind the camera, filming Robbe and Sander kissing and hugging and being playful and cute and Milan taking those photos during Robbe’s birthday.

“They’re disgusting,” Jens says and ends the video.

The ninth video is Robbe behind the camera again. He films Zoe sitting right next to him on the cute, romantic couch, he films their table with so many different dishes, four glasses with iced coke. Across from Zoe, he films Senne that gives him a cute smile, and Robbe films Sander while he’s bitting something, he snorts and puts his food down, still chewing though. Senne comes closer so Robbe can film both of them and they make some stupid faces and hand gestures and laugh.

The tenth video is Sander sitting on the toilet cover, shirtless, Robbe zooms on his obliques kinda flexing with his bad posture having nowhere to rest his back. Robbe zooms out and you can see Milan adjusting the haircut Sander did months and months ago to get rid of the bleach. He makes the sides a little shorter and leaves the top like it is. Robbe films his legs, Sander’s hand quietly searching for him, finally going behind his kneck, gently pulling Robbe closer, even though the bathroom is tiny and they don’t really need Robbe there, doing nothing but being a supportive boyfriend.

The eleventh video is Sander behind the camera again. Robbe is playing video games and Sander sits next to him. Robbe is very focused on his game, talking to someone inside his headphones, but Sander lifts his shirt, and Robbe laughs, trying to stop him. Sander films his face and tells him to focus on his stupid game. Then Sander lifts his shirt and films some very rounded, bite-like marks on Robbe’s ribs. He lets Robbe’s oversized shirt slip back into place and he sits closer to Robbe, making him tilt his head to the other side, pushing his headphone out of place, filming another mark right behind Robbe’s ear.

The twelfth video is in another bar. You can hear Robbe behind the camera, dragging some words, with a raspy voice, filming Sander playing pool with his friends, arguing about who is winning. He zooms on Sander again because he looks extra hot tonight, with some very fitting jeans and white shirt, his usual black jacket, his hair looking perfectly messy and edgy and just perfect. Someone appears right in front of the camera.

“Robin, he’s not that hot, stop being a fucking creep.” The guy licks the lens, Robbe laughs and turns it off.

The fourteenth and last video is Robbe lying down. The bedroom is dark, but the bathroom light in front of the bed is on. You can see Sander inside, getting something on the sink, brushing his teeth, disappearing to go hang his towel, and then he finally comes back to the bedroom, seeing Robbe filming yet again. He smiles, putting some other things in place before turning the bedside lamp on and going back to turn the bathroom light off. He takes his shirt off that he had just put on a minute ago. He gently throws the shirt on his pillow, crawling on the bed, Robbe’s legs in between him.

“Stop filming me, Robin.” He says with a soothing voice, full of intentions, with a cute smile, kissing Robbe’s cheek, but Robbe doesn’t film that, too distracted by the kisses. The camera falls face first on his thighs and Robbe turns it off.

[earliebirb]

it’s a small world after all

This is a fic written for my dear friend Jen ( @ishipallthings​ ) who sent me this prompt. I am making a new text post because Tumblr doesn’t allow me to insert the “Keep reading” link properly when replying to an ask :( 

it’s a small world after all

steve/tony, meet cute, pre-slash, au: no powers, 2054 words 

“Great speech.”

Smiling at the compliment, Tony turns around. “Thank y—”

And nearly drops his champagne flute.

His world comes to a stop. The light chatter of the mingling guests fades away, all of his senses zeroing in on the man standing before him.

They had only spent a night together—one unforgettable night a year ago in London—and didn’t even manage to catch each other’s last names, but Tony would recognize those baby blues anywhere.

It’s Steve.

Steve from Tony’s London business trip. Or, as Rhodey has become accustomed to calling him after months and months of Tony bemoaning his own profound stupidity of letting the perfect London stranger go without giving him so much as a phone number—The Soulmate That Got Away. 

“I— What— Steve?” Tony blinks and shakes his head, just to make sure that this is not some weird hallucination his brain has conjured up out of a severe case of lovesick pining.

No matter how many times he blinks, Steve stays there, standing in front of him, dressed in an elegant navy blue suit that shows off his insane shoulder to waist ratio.

“Tony,” Steve says and maybe Tony is imagining the way Steve sounds a little bit breathless, like maybe this moment is just as overwhelming for him as it is for Tony. How Tony has imagined this scenario happening a thousand times in a thousand different ways—meeting Steve again, hearing Steve call his name.

“What— What are you doing here?” Of all the places he thought he would run into Steve again, his best friend’s wedding is definitely not one of them. Tony sets the glass of champagne down on a nearby table before he actually drops it. His hand is definitely not trembling. 

“Uh, my date is a friend. Of the bride’s.”

“A friend of Carol’s?”

“Yeah. She went to get a drink, but—”

Before Steve can finish his sentence, someone approaches him from behind, hooking her arm through his with the kind of easy affection that only comes from knowing each other for years. 

“Steve, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” the woman chides, but there is no mistaking the fond note in her voice. Her blonde hair falls just slightly below her shoulders. She is clad in a long dress whose shade of blue matches Steve’s suit. 

“Sorry,” Steve says, squeezing her arm lightly as he turns to her with a soft smile. To his horror, Tony feels his own heart sinking. As much as he wants to, he finds himself unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of them standing side by side in front of him.

Loathe as Tony is to admit it, they look lovely together.

Tony doesn’t know why he is disappointed at all. After all, he is just a stranger with whom Steve has spent a night with. Granted, it was a wonderful night—one that started with them fighting over the last croissant at a coffee shop near Tony’s hotel and ended with pillow talk that was way too deep for someone Tony had just met a few hours prior. 

Just because Tony had maybe—okay, definitely—fallen a little bit in love with him, however, it doesn’t guarantee that Steve would feel the same way about Tony. 

To reiterate once again, they are just strangers. Acquaintances, at best. Acquaintances who spent a night being physically and emotionally intimate with each other on the day of their first meeting. The sex had been more than satisfactory, but if Tony were being honest, the part of that fateful day that had secured Steve a special place in his heart was the part where they spent the rest of the night cuddled up in bed, sharing secrets and stories about their very different lives until the early hours of the morning, pretending that they weren’t sleepy before eventually drifting off in each other’s arms. 

Up until minutes ago, Tony wasn’t even sure he would ever see Steve again. It is beyond ridiculous for him to maintain the foolish hope of Steve returning his feelings, the hope that Steve had somehow also waited for him or tried to look for him all this time. 

There is also the fact that Steve isn’t the one who had woken up in bed cold and alone after a night too well spent. 

“Oh, hey! You’re James’ best friend, right? The best man. I’m Sharon.” The woman offers him her hand, a warm smile on her lips.

“Tony. Nice to meet you.” He shakes her hand, returning her smile.

There is a beat in which Sharon seems to take in the situation, looking back and forth between Steve and Tony.

“You guys know each other?”

“Yes—” Steve says.

“Well, not really—” Tony answers, at the exact same time.

Both of them fall into silence upon realizing their opposing answers. Sharon blinks, eyebrows furrowing.

“We’ve met before,” Tony manages eventually, giving Sharon what he hopes passes for an amicable smile. All the while, he feels Steve’s eyes on him. 

“I see.” Sharon nods, but her smile is disconcertingly knowing. “Well, I think I saw some of my friends over there, so I’m going to leave you boys to catch up. It’s nice to meet you, Tony.”

With that, she leaves them alone again, her heels clicking away. 

An awkward silence settles between them. After a few heartbeats, Tony takes a deep breath and makes a valiant attempt at small talk:

“So, how long have you guys been to—”

“You never called.”

“What?”

“I, uh.” Steve’s eyes flit down to his feet before meeting Tony’s. His smile looks slightly strained at the edges. ”You never contacted me.”

“You— You left without a word. I had no way of contacting you.”

“What?” Steve’s eyebrows crease together.

“You did!” Tony exclaims, extremely confused as to why Steve seems to be confused. “I woke up and you were gone. No goodbye. No nothing. How was I supposed to contact you?”

“I— I had to catch a flight, but I didn’t want to wake you, so I did leave without saying goodbye—”

“That’s literally what I just said—”

“—but I left a note!”

“...Huh?”

Steve stares at him with bewildered eyes. “I left you a note on the nightstand. I tore a piece of paper from the hotel notepad, wrote you a note, folded it, and left it there for you to find. I wrote down my phone number and everything.”

“No, you didn’t,” Tony insists, indignant. “I would’ve found—”

Except Tony now remembers that although when he woke up in bed that day he realized that Steve was nowhere to be found, he was also immediately struck with the realization that he was late for his 10 a.m. meeting with a client—the main reason he had been in London in the first place. He then scrambled to get ready and was out the door in a record time of ten minutes. 

He didn’t even glance at whatever note Steve had supposedly left on the nightstand.

When he came back to the hotel later that night, his room had been cleaned up by the hotel staff.

“What?” Steve blinks at him. 

Tony lets out a sharp exhale in disbelief. He tries to breathe through the wave of disappointment that hits him upon realizing that Steve had wanted him to call, and that both of them are just victims of an unfortunate set of events.

Steve is still staring at him, desperate for an explanation.

“I just realized that— Um. You see, that day, the morning after we… met, I woke up late for my meeting.” Tony smiles at him, sheepish and apologetic. “So I rushed out the door in a hurry. When I came back, the bed was made and the room was all tidy. There was nothing on the nightstand. My guess is that the hotel staff must’ve cleaned it up during the day, while I was gone, so…”

“So you never saw the note,” Steve finishes, a myriad of emotions flitting through his eyes.

“I never saw it,” Tony confirms, gazing wistfully at Steve, his heart constricting at the unfairness of it all. They could have started something, if luck had been on their side. Steve had waited for him to call. Now, however…

Steve clearly belongs to someone else now and whatever chance Tony had back then, it certainly is long gone by now. 

Suddenly, someone calls out Tony’s name. They both turn to see the groom making a beckoning motion from across the room. 

“Tones, let’s take a picture!” Rhodey shouts. He is flanked by Carol and Pepper. All three of them are staring at Tony, expectant smiles on their faces.

Tony nods at them with a grin before turning to Steve. Sweet, beautiful Steve whom Tony never got around to having a proper date with.

“Sorry, I have to go,” Tony says regretfully, heart heavy. “It’s really nice seeing you again, Steve.”

He takes one last look at Steve before turning around to join his friends.

Before he manages to take more than two steps, however, Steve catches his wrist.

“Tony, wait.”

Tony turns to see Steve staring at him with a weirdly intense expression on his face, like he is working up the courage to say something. 

“Yeah?”

“Before you go, can I borrow your phone?”

Tony blinks but complies readily, fishing his phone out of his pocket. Maybe Steve wants to keep in touch, become friends. 

Steve types a phone number into Tony’s phone. When he is done, he hands the phone back to Tony. The new number is saved under the name “Steve Rogers”.

“That’s my phone number. Don’t lose it this time,” Steve says, a sweet and lopsided smile on his face. He then swallows, shoving his hands into his pockets. “And, uh, listen… If it’s all the same to you, I would still very much like to go on that date with you, the one you promised we would go on once we’re both back home in New York. I know it’s long overdue, it’s been a year. But I would still love to go for coffee with you, if you’re willing.”

Tony stares at him, uncomprehending. Steve seems to take Tony’s silence as a sign of rejection, because then he licks his lips nervously and says:

“Only if you want to, of course. Only if you want to, only if you’re comfortable with it, and only if you have time. You really don’t have to if—”

“But,” Tony shakes his head, “I thought you and, uh, Sharon? Aren’t you two…?”

Steve pauses at Tony’s question. The second he registers what Tony is getting at, his eyes widen almost comically.

“Oh. Oh. Oh, no. No. We’re not like that. We’ve never been like that.” Steve breaks into a relieved chuckle. “I don’t think her girlfriend would like that idea very much.”

“Oh,” Tony breathes. He feels a rush of giddy hope, so strong and sudden that it leaves him a bit dizzy. “So, coffee?”

“Yeah.” Steve stares at him, nervous and expectant, light pink dusting his cheeks. “If that offer still stands.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“How does next weekend sound?”

Steve beams at him, smile radiant. “Next weekend sounds amazing.”

“Okay,” Tony says, stepping back slowly. “I’ll call you.”

Steve nods before ducking his head bashfully, biting his lip to suppress the growing grin on his face. 

Turning around to finally walk away, Tony feels the ends of his lips climbing up into a helpless smile, so wide it could split his face in half. 

Later that night, he calls Steve. His heart is pounding in his chest as he waits for Steve to pick up, phone pressed up to his ear. 

“Hello?” Steve’s voice comes from the other end of the line.

“Rogers. It’s Tony. Tony Stark.”

A pause. “The Tony who stole my croissant?”

Tony grins. “I didn’t steal anything. That croissant was rightfully mine.”

“I got there first. I saw it first.”

“But I ordered it first.”

“I rest my case.” Steve laughs, the sound sending warmth running through Tony’s body. “I’m so glad you called. Thank you for calling.”

Tony smiles. It’s only right that he gives Steve a call. 

After all, even though Tony had stolen Steve’s croissant, Steve managed to steal something much more valuable: Tony’s heart. 

[ravenadottir]

i saw you answered this for season 2 so now i really want to know about season 1 & 3 as well. who did “the producers” predict would be couples? hopefully you understand my question lol, english is not my first language

mate, yessss, this is perfect! also, your english is great, and it’s not my first language either, so like, clown communication exceeds all the rest! but you’re nailing it, in my opinion!

let’s see... producers pairing season 1 probably would have a hard time to pair them. if you take a look, almost none of them have things in common. also, let me give a score out of five hearts (ღ) of how much i think the producers thought they would fit together.

❝season 1❞

ღ ღ ღ jen and jasper. it seems they would have more in common than the others, mostly because they come across “posh”, but i do think they share interests they never had the time to discuss. jen appreciates a mature guy, and jasper was initially the most mature that would go for someone like her.

ღ ღ ღ ღ tim and sammi. my girl @the-bisexual-mermaid absolutely killed with this pairing, and i do think producers might’ve drawned a heart on their names together. they just have the same energy, ideals, tolerance. the two of them simply fit together, and i think the crew was surprised they never got to couple up.

ღ ღ ღ allegra and miles. i genuinely think they have more in common than they realize, and villa!miles didn’t have enough time to get to know her because they were always putting on a front, and banging around the villa.

ღ ღ ღ jake and erikah. i know it sounds weird, but on paper they have the same sweet ways. erikah appreciates the poem and someone who’s a bit more mysterious than the others. jake likes a girl that knows what she wants, and after mc, who can have three personalities (because of the players), erikah is really closer to his ideal girl.

ღ ღ ღ ღ talia and mc. mc is talia’s type no matter who she is, because the three paths mc is allowed to be are still talia’s ideal girl. and talia is really honest and loyal, which in my opinion would be the first choice to bi/gay mc’s.

ღ ღ ღ ღ cherry and mason. they both love having a good time, and it seems they have similar ideas about intimacy and relationships. they don’t care about what people say, and just go for it!

as for rohan, reese and lucy i truly believe they were wildcards in the producers’ eyes. even though erikah is attracted to rohan and reese, it’s not like they could’ve predicted the girl would end up with reese. they have nothing in common besides attraction, and as for rohan, i think he was “he’s gonna be dumped” bet of the season, backstage.

❝season 3❞

ღ ღ ღ ღ seb and iona. both have a hard time to be so sparkly and unicorn-like, and i think it would’ve been the pair that made the most sense. he’s sarcastic and not into the whole “colorful” attitude, and iona is the same. i don’t know why they thought iona and camilo would be a good couple!

ღ ღ ღ ciaran and elladine. they are both into the idea of romance before attraction, and given how innocent ciaran is, i reckon they could’ve been paired up. elladine says she wouldn’t have sex in the show, and i think that’s the exact attitude ciaran had at first, too.

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ tai and aj. it happens later, on the boat party (i’m not sure to what extent) that aj finds out she’s a lesbian. but she and tai have very similar ideas of love, and they both have that puppy energy that would honestly be a really good match, in my opinion. plus, sports in common, the willingness to travel and have drama-free fun, and they both like the idea of adventures. dogs and kids are in the plans, so like... yeah! 5 ღ out of 5

ღ ღ ღ ღ yasmin and nicky. besides the music in common, they’re both extremely caring, and yasmin is mature enough to not remind him of his younger sister. also, yasmin is drama-free and laid back, and that’s exactly what nicky is! 

ღ ღ ღ harry and genevieve. i know they get together before she couples up with seb (WHICH TO THIS DAY IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE TO ME, BUT POP OFF) harry and viv have this determination factor in common. ‘business school’ meets ‘medical field’ and it just... fits! they have more in common than they realize, from the idea of romance, to the goals they have in life. and viv says how it’s not working because he’s too young. that’s the only reason she doesn’t stay with him. if age was the only determinant in a relationship, harry would’ve only got with aj, and we know that’s not a good match.

ღ ღ ღ ღ miki and rafi. i just want to picture miki excited about the facial expressions rafi would deliver at all times. they both have “similar” careers, want to make a name for themselves, which leads me to believe despite being sweet they’re very determined. rafi is about family and i think miki is too. their social media posts would be insanely entertaining too.

ღ ღ ღ bill, i think, was also paired up with miki, because she digs nonsense talk, and that’s everything bill has to bring to the table. he wouldn’t fit with any other girl because of how opinionated he is. it seems miki was the most tolerable there, and they make it very clear on that night the girls spend in the hideaway.

ღ ღ ღ camilo and aj. just like the pairing with tai, and the same reasoning, aj and camilo would’ve been an excellent couple! energy to give away, close to family, sports, no time to waste when it comes to romance... i can see them together.

now here’s the thing. about aj and a girl: i don’t see her with any of them, if they were all lgbtq+. yasmin is not a good fit for her, nor is any of the others. i guess you could pair her with miki, if the influencer was into girls, but there’s not a a lot happening there either. it would’ve been some sort of “no options for aj”, and that’s not good enough to make people couple up.

[lovelyirony]

“i was going to ask that you go easy on me. i’m feeling kind of tender today.” For whomever you want!

 Being alone is something that Bruce thought was the best option for him. He doesn’t really like being social or “on” all the time, and he’s fine with drinking tea in his room and working on homework. For fun, he’ll usually watch one of his “shows” on the weekends. 

Being alone can oftentimes lead to being lonely, unfortunately. One of the drawbacks, and something that Bruce doesn’t like. 

He thought he was pretty well-adjusted to college. He didn’t really need to make friends immediately. His mother had written to him from Aunt Becca’s house on new stationary that friends come along when you’re least expecting it. 

And then he got to orientation and his leader said that “friends are something you need to pursue! Get out there and go make some! Join a club!” 

Bruce had not done that. 

He doesn’t want to say that he’s scared of people, but they...intimidate him. He was made fun of his whole elementary and most of his high school time, so it’s not like Bruce learned how to successfully navigate friendship. 

So here he is in his dorm on a Wednesday night at 10:34, post-shower, and he realizes that he is all alone and he probably needs to change that. 

But he’s not sure how. He’s not great at “event-crashing” and there’s no way that he’s just going to sit down and talk to somebody. He’s in it for the confusion, it seems. 

A week later, there’s a knock on his door. 

It’s one of the girls who lives on his floor, Nat or Natalie or something. 

“I smelled coffee,” she says. “And I want to know if I can have some.” 

“Um...sure? Do you want cream or sugar or anything?” 

“Is the cream flavored?” 

“Yeah, it’s the, uh, new fall flavor. I thought it could be good in coffee.” 

Her eyes light up, and she walks straight into his room, not even noticing the notes pinned all over his cork-board and the sad laundry pile in the corner. She pours coffee neat as can be into her own mug, sits down on the desk chair, and looks at him. 

“Are you going to have any?” 

“Uh...yes?” 

He pours some, and then gets the cream out. He passes it over to her, and she takes it gladly. 

“None of us really see you anywhere,” she says. “Why is that?” 

“I, um. I guess I don’t get out much,” Bruce mutters. “Can you...can you smell the coffee from my room?” 

“Not from where I am, but Clint lives across the hall,” Nat says. “Room 816. He wanted coffee, but was too shy to ask if he could. We’ll provide coffee costs so long as we get it.” 

“Um, sure,” Bruce says. “I always leave my room unlocked. I’m Bruce.” 

“Nat, I live in 842. What are you majoring in?” 

“Chemistry and biology,” Bruce answers easily. “A focus in genetics.” 

“Whoa. Cool. I’m studying business and security.” 

“What do you want to do with that, if you don’t mind me being the millionth person to ask that?” 

Natasha smiles, and Bruce can tell that she’s more than most people think. 

“My friend Tony and his boyfriend want to revamp his dad’s company, so they’re gonna need a bodyguard.” 

“Cool,” Bruce says. “I want to help people and create cures.” 

“Always honorable. You wanna come with us to the drive-in movie tonight?” 

Bruce blinks. He’s not expecting an invitation to be thrust his way so...directly. 

“Um, sure. You sure about that?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Well...we’ve never met before this.” 

“We’ve done enough,” Natasha says easily, grabbing her mug and heading for the door. “We’re meeting in the lobby at eight, but we’re getting dinner at seven if you wanna come to that. Tony would really like to meet you, he’s been complaining about the lack of ‘smart’ people.” 

“I’ll...I’ll see you, then.” 

- 

Right at six, Bruce is nervously tugging at the hem of his shirt, or wringing his hands. 

He sees a guy who he thinks is Clint. 

“Oh hey! You came!” he says with a grin. “Do you have any bandages?” 

“Do you need one?” 

“In the future? Yes. Currently? No,” he says, getting out his phone. “What do you think you’ll get for dinner?” 

“Um, probably their lasagna or something. I know that the pizza tonight is barbecue chicken.” 

Clint pulls a face. 

“The worst one, bleh. Ooh, Thor’s on his way!” 

- 

Thor is...Thor. There’s literally no other word to describe the vibe of him. 

He’s wearing a flannel, jeans, and he looks like he could be a nature guide at a national park. 

Bruce is stunned. He’s never seen him around before. 

“You met Thor yet?” Nat asks, lips curving into a smile. 

“No,” Bruce says faintly. “I don’t think I have.” 

And then in walks Tony and Jim (or Rhodey?), and his eyes light up. 

“Bruce, my darling dearest. I heard that you are a smart man, and I am all about smart men. Let’s talk science.” 

Bruce  actually gets engaged in conversation, and he loves it, even when Steve says “could we have this in English, please?” 

"Absolutely not,” Tony says. “Bruce and I are on the same wave length, so you will have to get used to us being annoying.” 

“Sorry Steve,” Bruce says softly. 

Steve grins. 

“I’m just joking around, Bruce. Don’t worry about it. Wait until I start talking about art techniques.” 

Dinner is good. Bruce gets to know more about everyone, and laughs out loud at most of Nat’s dry humor. 

“Finally, someone with good taste,” she says. “You’re coming to the movie, right?” 

“What’s playing?” 

“One of my favorites,” Thor rumbles. “Ben-Hur.” 

“We’re going to fall asleep,” Sam murmurs to Bruce. “Like, seriously. It’s boring.” 

“The set design isn’t,” Bruce says softly. He saw the movie once with his cousin Jen and their grandpa. “It’s a beautifully made one.” 

“Then you can sit next to Thor,” Tony decides. “Because otherwise he’ll spend the whole time trying to wake us up so that we don’t miss a part, or several.” 

“It’s a good movie,” Thor says, although he seems to know that he’s lost the debate. 

“We’ll have a good time regardless,” Clint says. “Especially since I’m planning on eating a whole tray of Oreos and passing out.” 

“At least save some for me,” Sam says. “I don’t want a repeat of last time.” 

“Your fault for making moon-eyes at Bucky,” Nat retorts. 

“Oh, I did not.” 

“You did,” Thor said simply. “But let’s get to the car before we lose our spot.” 

- 

There’s not exactly a spot to lose. The only other people are older couples and the occasional young teenage couple who has every intention of parking a bit further away and hoping to god everyone ignores them. 

(And everyone will.) 

Bruce comes to find that they weren’t joking about having him sit next to Thor; they point out that Thor is actually really excited to have someone to talk to. 

“It’s true,” Thor says, grabbing a blanket out of the car to settle down over his chair. 

Or at least, that’s what Bruce thought was going on. 

What goes on is that Thor shares it.

“Weather’s supposed to go low tonight,” Thor says. “Can’t have you getting cold and me knowing I could’ve done something about it.” 

Bruce will say, if anyone asks, that he was not blushing and they can’t prove it because it was dark outside. 

He moves his chair closer. 

After all, he doesn’t want to stretch the blanket farther than it can reach. And he wants to hear Thor better. 

The orchestral music starts up and floats in between cars, and Thor looks at the screen, completely enraptured. 

Nat gives Bruce a look, and he looks away. 

“I brought soda, you want some?” Tony whispers. 

Bruce jumps as he turns to face the genius, who is so unbelievably close. 

“There’s Dr. Pepper and Pepsi but with cherry.” 

“Cherry, please,” Thor rumbles. “Bruce, for you?” 

“Um, I’m...I’m good.” 

-

Movie night is...nice. 

Bruce doesn’t really focus on the plot that much, not when Thor is whispering every so often about a favorite piece of music or what he liked about an actor’s choice. 

He doesn’t mind it. Not at all. He notices the smallest things, and Thor passes him over a snack. It’s nice. 

It’s nicer when they drive back and Thor tells him that he’s glad he came. 

“I’ve seen you around, I just wasn’t sure how to get you to come with us,” Thor says. “You’re always in your room.” 

“I tend to be a bit of a homebody,” Bruce says nervously, readjusting his glasses. “I, uh...I’m just not always accustomed to people.” 

“That’s alright,” Thor says. “We’re having dinner again, we always have it at six. Feel free to come. Nat would like to see you again. You’ve been on her hit list.” 

“Her what?” 

“Friendship, don’t worry,” Clint says. “She has a certain list of people she wants to ‘hit’ as her friends. We’ve tried to get her to change the name about eight times.” 

“It means serious business,” Nat scoffs. “Also Bruce, you have to come get coffee with me this weekend.” 

- 

Friendship is a confusing business, Bruce decides. He loves it, but it’s confusing. Mainly because he can’t believe that people actually want to hang out with him. He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“You keep waiting for shoes to drop,but we never throw them up in the air,” Sam says. “Now come on and come with me to get Bucky from his stupid class and harass him into coming grocery shopping with us.” 

Bruce laughs. 

“Okay, but I need to make a list first. Otherwise I’m going to forget to get the tea for Tony.” 

- 

It becomes comfortable, and he...he enjoys it. He likes that they cook dinner (disastrously) for Halloween together, and they all dress up in as best a costume as they can manage. 

He gets inside jokes with everyone, and he and Nat make a habit of having coffee in his dorm room most mornings before heading down for breakfast, and they all eat lunch together outside when the weather is nice. 

He and Tony get along fantastically, and they both help each other bounce ideas off one another and come up with new ways to think about problems. 

-

And then...there’s Thor. 

Thor is his friend, one of his best ones. But there’s something that he’d like to be more there, and he’s never sure how to approach it. He’s not even sure if Thor wants to approach it. 

They walk together and they nap together, and Bruce sometimes wonders if Thor looks at him as much as Bruce looks at him. 

They go on errands together, and they’re usually always sitting together for movie nights. 

- 

Nat thinks Bruce is acting ridiculous. 

“Quit being a little bitch and go ask him out,” she says over coffee. Steam curls around the mug, and Bruce looks away for a minute, pulling a face. 

“Nat, he’s....he’s Thor. I can’t just ask someone like him out.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I ramble about genetics and how much I appreciate certain scientists! How is that going to translate when we go on a date and I can’t figure out what to say?” 

Natasha looks at him like he’s the biggest idiot in the galaxy. 

“You’re the worst,” Natasha decides. “You guys already go on dates, basically. I mean, he doesn’t let anyone else come with you guys to go get ice cream on Saturday nights. You go grocery shopping with him and make those mug-brownies together.” 

“That’s....” 

“You don’t do that with anyone else, do you? I’m so sure that you don’t, otherwise I would have heard about it by now.” 

Bruce shrugs, sighing and pouring himself his cup of coffee. 

Natasha’s face softens, and she hops up onto the bed beside him. 

“Look. I know you have this whole self-loathing thing going on, and god knows most of us on this floor do as well. But just because of that, it doesn’t mean you get to deny yourself happiness. If that was the case, I’d never bring home latkes.” 

Bruce smiles softly. 

“Thanks, Nat.” 

“No problem. Also, we’re having family dinner inside to talk about an upcoming vacation, possibly.” 

“Vacation?” 

“We ditch class on Friday if we can help it, and we spend the weekend at a lake nearby. You wanna come?” 

“Sure!” 

- 

Thor is currently enduring a pep talk from Bucky and Sam, who are both quite bad at pep talks. 

“You can do this!” Sam says. “What’s the worst that could happen?” 

“I can think about twenty different ways,” Bucky says. “But I won’t mention them.” 

“Bucky, you are grievously bad at this,” Thor stresses. 

���What are you, my English professor? What’s with the vocab?” 

“Uses big words when he’s stressed,” Sam mutters. “Thor, you’ll be fine. It will go well.” 

“Or it will leave me flummoxed.” 

“Shut up.” Bucky groans. “You’re worse than Steve. You sound like a dying Victorian.” 

Thor just groans, face-planting onto a pillow. 

“Someone just put me out of my misery.” 

“Or don’t,” Bucky says. “What’s stopping you?” 

“The fact that if he doesn’t like me it’ll be awkward for the rest of eternity?” 

Sam snorts. 

“If I didn’t know Bucky, you’d be the stupidest person I know.” 

“Hey!” 

- 

The family discussion about the vacation goes well, and Tony keeps giving Bruce pointed looks, and Thor is enduring the most uncomfortable gaze from Natasha he’s ever suffered from. 

They both cannot take this for long. 

- 

It’s awkward, honestly. They’re both in the lobby of their floor, and Bruce can’t meet his eyes and Thor isn’t quite sure how to go about it. 

“Would you like to get coffee with me?” Thor asks. 

“Sure,” Bruce says. “You want Timely or Joe-Fix-It for coffee?” 

“...Timely, I heard they introduced a new flavor.” 

“Alright.” 

They both relax a little bit into the car ride, and by the time they’re at the coffee shop, both are laughing about a text that Loki sent about one “hypothetical” situation. 

It’s easy, and it’s...nice. Thor wants this, and so does Bruce. 

“I have something to ask you,” Thor says, looking into his coffee before gazing at Bruce. “And you can say no if you’d like.” 

“Go easy on me today,” Bruce says softly, and Thor doesn’t miss how his hands clench around his coffee cup. 

“I, um. I have feelings for you. The kind that make your heart speed up.” 

“Anxious thoughts?” 

Thor barks out a laugh at that, and scratches the back of his neck. 

“I am...this whole thing is ad libitum.” 

“What does that even mean.” 

“Without preparation.” They sit for a moment, Thor collecting his words. 

“Bruce?” 

“Yes?” 

“Do you...do you remember when Natasha was on her period romance drama kick, and we watched Sense and Sensibility?” 

“Um, yeah? Why?” 

“Do you. Do you remember at the end? The quote about the heart?” 

“No?” 

“Shit.” 

-

It was going to be romantic. Thor was assuming that Bruce remembered the quote about the heart and the always, because it was honestly a cheesy but good movie, and Thor was going to pretend like he knew the quote too so that it would make for a romantic confession. 

“Let me, ah...” he fumbles to get his phone out. “I was hoping you would have remembered the quote.” 

“And you don’t know it?” 

“No, unfortunately. I fell asleep.” 

“So did I!” Bruce laughs. “I think we both fell asleep that night. What are you doing now?” 

“I’m...looking up the quote. I’m quite sure it applies to our current situation.” 

“You sound so proper,” Bruce teases, and Thor slides the phone across the table, showing a truly shitty edit of the quote done in pink, loopy cursive. 

His face softens, and he turns up to Thor. 

“You...really mean that?” 

“More than anything. I’ll be yours, if you want.” 

“I want.” 

Thor laughs, grin wide and big as he gets up and engulfs Bruce in a hug. 

“I think I could not get happier.” 

Bruce turns red, adjusting his glasses. 

“I’m...I’m happy with you,” Bruce says, and by god he looks cute like this, all flustered. “But I think we should head back before we have to sign in at the front desk, right?” 

“Of course.” 

There’s a pleasant energy in the car after that, and before they exit, Bruce takes Thor’s hand. 

“Yes?” 

"Do you think they’ll be surprised?” 

“Considering that they’ve been dropping hints for weeks for both of us? I’m expecting Steve and Tony to gloat for weeks over winning over Natasha.” 

“You’re sure they won over Nat?” 

Bruce grins guiltily. “Nat invited me to her sleepover with Pepper and Sharon. I learned things.” 

Thor laughs, getting out of the car. 

“Then I look forward to their reactions.” 

- 

Not much actually changed, honestly. They were already so close, although Thor is prone to random forehead kisses and bragging about his boyfriend in every single class, to the point where one teacher had to limit his stories about Bruce to two a week, so he had to make them count. 

Bruce enjoys kissing Thor a lot, and always enjoys when Natasha makes a little “aw” noise or when he has a date planned. 

It’s nice. And he likes it a lot.  

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

Jen and Pacey are both banished seeds from NY but they cannot be more different in personality. Jen was really nice and wanted to fit in, but she was judged by the town people (like that teacher in the ‘Dentition’ episode) because she was from NY. Also, I never saw her as the blonde bad girl bomshell the show wanted us to think she was. She doesn’t really give off NY party girl vibes, she always seemed Midwestern to me.

I agree with you about Pacey not being an angel (so does the OP of the post because she has posted about people overlooking Pacey’s flaws). I do think Jess is a punk but that’s why I found him entertaining. I think I liked him as an agent of chaos more than Rory’s bf. I was getting bored of Rory/Dean after they dumbed Dean down so I didn’t mind Jess’ antics (though I still think they were shitty). I enjoyed Jess’ dynamic with Luke, and I think it made sense for Rory to be attracted to him. I just don’t think he was mature or stable enough to be in a relationship with her.

Unrelated:

I wish Rory could have dated the more mature version of Jess. I always had a feeling that the show wanted Jess to have a bigger role in Rory’s life. Jess was the only one of Rory’s whose perspective we got, and he wasn’t just built to be Rory’s love interest, he was introduced as Luke’s nephew. Its obvious the writers wanted Jess to be Rory’s Luke, and the guy who knows Rory best but couldn’t portray it in the narrative because Milo’s contract wasn’t renewed.

In S6 Jess said he knows Rory “better than anyone”, but considering he hadn’t seen her in years, I doubt he knew her better than her friends or her mom. Thus, his speech felt unearned (I felt the same way when Dawson’s Creek kept telling us that Joey changes men and inspires them to be better. This is who they wanted Joey to be but didn’t portray it in the narrative). Gilmore Girls kind of relegated Jess to the guy who occasionally pops up in Rory’s life, gives her advice, and pops out.

Maybe in personalities they aren't all that similar other than being rebellious teenagers with a self-destructive streak but at the same time quick-witted and snarky. They also both have parental traumas and "daddy issues" (as much as I hate that expression). Where they are the most similar is the town's treatment of them. No matter what they do they're always outsiders. When something shitty happens, it's their fault. I have ranted about it already here:

As for you pointing out that Jen doesn't really give off party girl vibes I sort of agree? It's like the whole town stereotyped her for being a pretty blonde girl from New York and immediately assumed she's a dumb party girl. Like she tried to start anew and make a good impression. She pretended to be this innocent girl: "I like to party and have fun substance-free" but it didn't work. Meanwhile Jess acted out because he didn't actually want to improve his reputation and start anew, he WANTED to be kicked out and go back to New York.

You preferring Jess as an agent of chaos and not a boyfriend to Rory is your own preference which is totally valid.

I also wish Rory got back with Jess in season 6 and it did look like she was going to and I still believe that if Logan hadn't gotten into that accident, they would've broken up and she would've gone back to Jess, much like in season 3 when they got together right after her breakup with Dean. Even their last kiss parallels their first.

I think people misread Jess's statement that he knows Rory better than anyone. I think he was saying that he knows her better than anyone else HE knows not anyone else that knows Rory. He wasn't claiming he knows her better than her own mother that would be ridiculous. But he does know her and understand her very well, sometimes even better than Lorelai imo.