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glamlistweekly · 3 years ago

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In our second issue of Glam List Weekly we’ve shined a spotlight on actor Timothée Chalamet! Timothée takes his time to thoughtfully answer questions such as his style inspirations, what it’s like to take on the role of Willy Wonka, he explains how he’s a jack of all trades, and more! Read through our interview with Timothée and delve into the mind of one of Hollywood’s most promising young actors. @glamchalamet

GLAM LIST WEEKLY: You were a co-host of last year’s Met Gala. What or who inspires your style and fashion choices, in your day to day life or for red carpet events?

TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET: Oh man, I've got influences from all over the place. I'd say the biggest, especially for the red carpet, is Haider Ackermann and Stella McCartney - they're forever challenging the binary, and making such unique and thoughtful pieces that I can't wait to get my hands on. For the Met Gala, I worked closely with HA on trying to capture the two main styles that dominate the Manhattan where I grew up - combining the well tailored suit of the skyscrapers, with the sweatpants and high-tops of the streets, for an outfit that united them in one look. That look right there was the peak of my style and fashion, on and off the red carpet.

GLW: What attracted you to want to take on the iconic role of Willy Wonka? Were/are you nervous about comparisons that might arise after the release of the film?

TC: I grew up with the Gene Wilder and Johnny Depp movies, and they're two people I've always looked up to as actors. To even have the chance to be put in a group with those icons is a dream come true for me. But also saying yes to the part wasn't just about getting to play the iconic character, it's a trust in the script, the director, the whole technical side to it that drew me to the project, too. Paul King's repertoire is full of quirky comedy and the Paddington movies, so he's the perfect person to be at the helm of this movie. I'm hoping that this new spin on the story, and the focus on Wonka's past, rather than what we know him for, will separate the movie enough to be appreciated in its own right, rather than merely as a comparison.

GLW: It seems like everywhere we turn, there you are in a new or upcoming film! How do you unwind and take time for yourself to not get overwhelmed with such a busy schedule? What do you like to do in your free time?

TC: I usually feel the total opposite, like I'm hardly working at all! But having three movies come out in quick succession definitely makes it look like I'm working constantly. I travel a lot for work, whether it's spending months at a time in London, Hungary, the middle of the desert, so my first port of call once I'm free is to go home to New York and just enjoy the peace for a bit. I love catching up with friends, spending time with my family, going to museums, seeing my favorite sports teams play. Just living a normal life, without all the glamour. I also try to spend at least a couple of months of the year in France - my sister lives in Paris, and we've always been very close, so we love having a good catch-up, and she keeps me updated with all the French gossip that I've missed out on, and we go see the latest French movies together and all that kind of thing.

GLW: What is the best advice or lessons you’ve learned from a co-star?

TC: I learn something new with everybody I've worked with, and I've been very lucky to work with some huge names, most of whom I was admiring for their work long before we met. But I've always found the best advice has been focused on being unashamedly myself and not allowing other people to pigeonhole me. It works in acting and life in general. It's given me the freedom and confidence to pursue the roles that I'm interested in, whether I'm the best person for the part or not. There's no harm in trying out for a role. It's led to some of the best performances of my career.

GLW: What's the strangest fan encounter you’ve had throughout the years?

TC: I don't know about strangest, but one of the most surreal was last year before the Met Gala. I'd planned with my artist friend JR (and The Frick Collection) this Instagram livestream where we would showcase some of this exhibition with the camera following me like a guide, then we would make our way to the gala. Sadly we had to cut it short once we were a few blocks into the streets of Manhattan, because we basically got swarmed by dozens of people and got separated. It was nice that so many people wanted to come out to see me, but it's also sad that we didn't get to finish what we started as a result.

GLW: You’ve had some different acting experiences over the years. Do you have a favorite role of yours, and what makes you feel so connected to it? Do you have a dream role you have yet to experience?

TC: I have a number of roles that are my favorite in their own way, sometimes it's because of the people I got to work with, or the places I got to travel, or the work in itself. I think I'll always have a soft spot for Elio, as I saw a lot of myself in him and his emotional journey. When you're young, it's so hard trying to figure out who you are, what you're like, how your future will turn out, especially when it comes to love - so getting to be a part of Elio's story meant a lot to me, and many people have identified that struggle and resolve within themselves, too, and that's so touching, as an actor. We tell stories to remind other people that they're not alone in their experiences, so when it resonates so strongly with audiences, you know you've done your job well. As for dream future roles, I'm definitely becoming more open to a potential superhero movie in the future. Maybe more along the lines of a standalone feature like Joker than the expanse of the Avengers universe, but there's so many complex stories to tell in comic universes that I don't think I can avoid the genre forever.

GLW: Do you have an awkward audition story? Something that didn��t exactly go down as rehearsed, and how did you deal with that rejection? Perhaps even a time where you didn’t think this was the industry for you?

TC: I'm still bad at dealing with rejection. I'm now in a position where I'm not having to send audition tapes out constantly, and a couple of roles have even been directly offered to me, so that's a sense of relief. Every time I audition for a part, I give a little of myself to the character, whether I get the role or not. So there's been the odd occasion where I've gone to see the movie I auditioned for and didn't get, and feel a sense of loss for what might have been. As for awkward auditions, when Bates Motel was in the works, I sent in a tape for it. But me being the dumb teenager I was, I thought when they said it was "Psycho inspired" that they meant American Psycho, because that's what first came up when I searched the word psycho into Netflix. Obviously I didn't get a part - the two movies are very different in tone.

GLW: On the opposite end of things, what was your “I made it” moment — the one that made you realize you’re Hollywood’s next big name.

TC: I still don't believe I am. I've had plenty of surreal moments, but I don't plan on getting comfortable with it. Any day, I could suddenly stop getting roles and ten years down the line I'll be forgotten. So I try not to focus on the hierarchy of it all, and just enjoy the here and now whilst I've got it.

GLW: Is there anything you find challenging about bringing a script to life? How exactly do you get in the mind of a character?

TC: Before I even get to a set, my first focus is getting into the physicality for a part. For Beautiful Boy, I had to lose a lot of weight, and it's not like I had much meat on me to begin with. But I have to make sure I'm careful with that kind of physical transformation, too. There's a very thin line between acting and reality. In your mind, you know that you're not experiencing the same exact situations as your character, but when you're lost in the scene, and you're freezing to the bone, and you're having to be on a strict diet - your body doesn't really know the difference. It's about finding that sweet spot, the golden mean, where your own experience and that of your character unite - once you find that, getting through a scene feels easy.

GLW: Off screen, do you have any strange and unusual talents?

TC: I don't think I've got any "out there" talents. I can play a little piano, some guitar, and kinda sing, dance, rap. I'm a jack of all trades, master of none kinda guy, I guess.

#glamlistweekly #interview #tc

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manychocolatefactories · 4 years ago

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CatCF: White Chocolate

And here is my White Chocolate retelling!

About this version: This version could take place in something between the 90s and the 2000s. It has been strongly inspired by both the world of cartoons in general, and "A Series of Unfortunate Events", as strange as it may seem. In this version, you have Seven Platinum Tickets.

Reinterpretation of Augustus Gloop:

Augustus Gloop, first Platinum Ticket winner. This Augustus, I imagined as a bully.

Physically, he is a very round boy. His belly is round, his torso is round, his face is round, his arms and legs are round, he basically looks like a bunch of balloons tied together, or a mass of spheres/globes. He has two great "beaver teeth". In terms of clothes, he eithers wears hoodies too small for him and of bright, vivid, flashy colors (orange, yellow, pink) or he wears striped shirts that are not slimming at all (such as the red and white stripes shirt of Augustus Gloop in the 2005 movie).

To all adults, Augustus plays the part of the cute, happy, innocent boy. But to all the other kids, he is a horrible, nasty, brutal and greedy bully. He likes to torture and dominate others - though he is not a sadist. He just seeks power and dominion, he loves to strike fear and submission in the heart of other children. A good exemple of his double-faced nature are his beaver teeth - he can actually speak perfectly fine with them, even though they gave him a slight lisp that is quite cute to adults. But with children, he worsens his lisp on purpose so that he would spit and splutter all over their faces, and when said children complain, the adults keep saying things like "He can't help it, he is just different, don't discriminate".

Augustus actually used to be a regular-sized kid (even though taller and bigger than his comrades, but not that fat). He regularly beat up, gave wedgies or other typical bully tortures on his peers to get their money or their toys. But it all changed when one day a boy had the idea to offer him his lunch instead of his money. Augustus was a big eater you see, and he seized the opportunity of having a free lunch. And since all the other kids preferred to give up their lunch rather than their money of their toys, they all started to "encourage" (as in, subtly manipulating him) so that he would racket lunch and food instead of money out of them. As a result, Augustus grew immensely fat on all the free food he got each day - and with his bigger size he could intimidate and crush other kids more easily. But at least, they didn't had to steal money from their parents anymore.

His demise will be with the Exploding Candies (remember those?). I think they would be going by a section of the Factory where some of Wonka's candies are stored, and Augustus would see another kid holding an Exploding Candy. Not knowing what it is, he would bully said kid (maybe Charlie?) into giving it to him. He would swallow it and then...

BOOM! HE EXPLODES INTO LITTLE PIECES!

No, I'm kidding Xp Actually I went with something much more cartoony (this Augustus himself being cartoony - in fact I based him in "fat Chuck with beaver teeth" from the cartoon "Chuck's Choices". It may sound weird but it makes kind of sense in the series Xp). He would suddenly be all distended and inflated like a balloon, and then deflate completely (again, like a balloon), reduced to a flat, pancake-like boy, with smoke coming out of his mouth, nose and ears.

Reinterpretation of Violet Beauregarde:

The character is named Violet Strabismus, second Platinum Ticket winner. For her, I tried to think about what kind of people/archetype/stereotypes were seen chewing gum all day long, and I ended up finding this idea upon seeing a girl on a train that corresponded exactly to that.

This Violet is the typical embodiment of the cynic, "pseudo-edgy" teenager that seeks everything that is bleak and dark. She is a mix of goth, of emo, of punk and grunge. She only wears and surround herself with things dark, creepy, sinister or sad. She romanticizes notions such as despair, death, suicides, and the like. She is the kind of teenager that claims her whole life is just a series of pains and losses, that she seeks comfort in the darkness and the morbidity, and she disdains everything joyful, innocent or happy. Her two favorite hobbies are chewing gum, and trying to destroy other people's dreams and hopes with depressing talk.

The irony in all that, however, is that despite Violet's claims that she has a miserable and sad life, she actually has a very happy one. She has loving parents that support her in everything she does, and siblings that also love her. She comes from a wealthy background, which allows her to buy all the chains and piercings and extremely complicated goth/punk clothes she wants at specialized stores. She is quite a pretty and good-looking girl, even with her creepy clothes and dark makeup. She even has a huge house, and in fact despite her claims to adore death, never went to a funeral ever in her life, and never knew anyone that died. Still, she keeps repeating that she is a "misunderstood, bullied, rejected loner". And she is not suicidal herself, mind you, nor depressed. She is perfectly fine. She just wants to look like she is, to "fit her style".

Her demise, as with all the Violet variations in my stories, relies on the Three-Course Meal gum. But here, the dish used is the ice-cream. I had the idea that the gum would actually turn Violet's flesh into ice-cream. As a result she is immediately put inside Wonka's cold storage room and freezers, so she doesn't melt. And she is condemned to live her life alone, in dark, cold, locked up places, exactly as she pretended and wished to.

Reinterpretation of Veruca Salt:

Now, I am not much satisfied with this Veruca Salt, but well, it is still worth a shot, even though the idea itself may be not so original.

Veruca Salt, third Platinum Ticket winner. For this Veruca, I envisioned actually a character based on Darla Dimple from "Cats Don't Dance". She is a small, cute and child-like girl, that looks almost like a pretty little doll, but who is able to scream with an insanely powerful voice and can act like a total brat by throwing extremely destructive tantrums and breaking everything everywhere if she doesn't have what she wants.

Her demise was actually suggested by ArtMakerProductions - the Geese Room. The Geese Room from the 70s movie would return, with a full room having geese lay chocolate eggs for Easter (I also think Wonka would be disdainful of this silly idea according to which rabbits laid the Easter eggs). And when Veruca would throw one of her usual tantrum, one of the goose would believe her to be one of her children (due to Veruca's screams sounding like a goose' screams) and just sit on her, crushing the little girl. (Not to death of course, but that's one big goose Xp).

Reinterpretation of Mike Teavee:

This one was hard to think about, but I finally found something I'm quite proud of.

Mike's character is obsessed with television, right? And he wishes to be INSIDE television, right, that's the core of his demise. Well... what about a Mike Teavee that is obsessed with television not as a watcher but as an actor?

Henry Trout, fourth Platinum Ticket winner, is a former child actor who used to be the star of numerous teenager sitcoms and other televisions shows by Disney-like productions. All this fame turned him into a spoiled, arrogant and selfish brat, and when he was kicked off the shows, for both being too old AND being just too much of a jerk, he couldn't let go of the past. He believes that everyone knows him through his work as an actor, and that everyone is a fan of him. He spends a lot of his time looking at his old television shows, and television is his only topic when speaking with other people. He still dresses and acts like a star - and never once realizes that a good lot of people don't know or even remember him. As per ArtMakerProductions, his parents are also his agents, and they desperatly try to find back their son's former glory, by "overselling" him to get a lot of media exposure, and still doing a lot of advertisement and promotion despite him not getting any real work - the finding of a Platinum Ticket was another attempt at becoming famous once more.

Take the characters of "fallen stars" such as Norma Desmond in "Sunset Boulevard" and Jane Hudson from "Whatever happened to Baby Jane?". Mix them with the former Disney or Nickelodeon child and teenage stars, especially if they had a dark turn in their life (the Spouse twins, David Henrie, Cameron Boyce, Zac Efron...). And you get Henry Trout.

His demise is still the Television Room, like all the other Mikes. However his variation is that the television Wonka used was prepared to teleport and air objects, such as Wonka bars. It is still a technology in working, and they only focused on the material and visual parts. They haven't worked on the sounds. As a result, once Henry Trout gets on TV, he is insanely happy because now everyone will see him and nobody will kick him out... but then he realizes he can't speak, because there is no sound. And when rescues from the television, he discovers he turned completely mute.

Reinterpretation of Charlie Bucket :

Charlie Bucket, the seventh and last Platinum Ticket winner.

For this one... I actually don't know. I wanted to do a Charlie based on the "brown-haired Charlie" as illustrated for exemple by 2005's Charlie. But I hesitate. On one side, I haven't used yet the idea of "the too-saint Charlie", aka a Charlie Bucket so good and so perfect he becomes a male Mary Sue, unrealistic and annoying, an exaggerated caricature of a good boy. I thought I could potentially use this with the brown-haired Charlie, especially since 2005's Charlie was criticized for being a too-perfect child.

On the other side, I also liked the idea of a crippled Charlie, in the mind of "Tiny Tim" from A Christmas Carol, and I also thought it would be fitting for him...

So I'll let it float for now.

Reinterpretation of the deleted kids :

# Terence Roper. Since this one had barely any personnality in the original drafts, I decided to include him (especially since I already reinvented the two other kids part of his trio - Clarence Crump and Bertie Upside).

I think of Terence Roper as the typical "hot bad guy" archetype. He is a criminal kid, and a little delinquant, that drives despite not having a permit, that steals, that robs, that like to spread chaos and destroy shop windows and tag walls etc... I think he is the son of two famous criminals, and thus thinks of crime as the "family business". But he is also a very good-looking, very charming, and very popular boy, which resulted in him not only being leader of gangs and the like, but also having a sort of cult or worship around him - similarly to how "bad boys" in high schools can be idolized. I think something very similar appened with his parents - I want to explore with this character how people worship criminals, with very successful bandits, mafioso or drug dealers ending up as popular and romanticized and idolized as movie stars, singers or the like.

He is the blousons noirs of the 50s and 60s, the old-fashioned troublemakers pachucos, the greaser delinquants of the movie Grease, and all other fashionable kind-of-criminal groups you could think of.

But the irony here is that Terence actually got his Platinum Ticket by legal means, by buying a chocolate bar - and in fact, for him to have found the Golden Ticket and not stole it is a great disappointment and shame.

For his demise I thought of re-using the Fizzy Lifty Drink. He would stole it in an act of bravado, and drink it without realizing what it was - which would result in him getting a perpetual case of bad gazes (frequent burps, farts, and other stomach noises). This would completely ruin his cool and good looking image, as well as any kind of grace or discretion he may have.

# Miranda Mary Piker. Sixth Platinum Ticket Winner (Terence Roper was fifth). She is based on the character as most know her : a school-obsessed, fun-killing girl. The original incarnation was a stern, no-nonsense, very strict girl that basically acted like any cruel headmistress or teacher from those horrible British boarding schools. However, given that this character was alreayd beautifully reintepreted by Danguy96, I wanted to do something slightly different. This Miranda is more like an "annoying moral guardian". She is still obsessed with school, good work and being an obedient and good child, and she still disdains silly things such as games, entertainment or fun in general, but instead of being a stern and harsh girl, she would rather be a nagging and annoying pest, that keeps giving speeches and sermons to everyone about why you should act a certain way and not another, a walking moralization that keeps trying to teach "proper manners", "maturity" and "basic knowledge" to everyone in a very condescending way. I also thought she would try to dress up as an adult, and thus with adult clothes - but since she is just a cild, said clothes are much too big for her, resulting in her looking kind of ridiculous.

Her demise would, of course, be the Spotty Powder. I can't remember if this was an idea that was suggested to me, or one used by someone else in their reinterpretation, but I like the concept that instead of falling inside the machine and being crushed to death, Miranda (and possibly her school director father) would actually fall into a big pile of the Spotty Powder, and thus develop all the symptoms of a contagious disease and be forbidden from setting a foot in school for a very long period of time.

Reinterpretation of the rival chocolatiers :

This is the big defining feature of White Chocolate. In this version, the rivals of Wonka have a big part to play.

They don't appear in themselves - but they sent emissaeries, messengers and spoekpersons to contact each of the kids that won a Platinum Ticket, in a similar way to the 70s movie, and each chocolatier tempts the kid with a different "treat".

Slugworth seems to be a chocolatier involved in the criminal underworld - his emissaries at least seem to have some criminal undertones, and act through fear and violence rather than seduction. In fact, I think his chocolate and candy business may actually be a "cover" for darker criminal activites, and "washing" of dirty money.

Augustus Gloop receives the visit of a man with "icy blue eyes and nasty purple scars on his cheeks". He passes off as a waiter in the restaurant in which Augustus is celebrating, even though it is just a disguise. He tries to convince Augustus by both subtle threats, and the promise of a free pass and unlimited offer in all the restaurants and buffets of the town.

And Terence Roper, due to his criminal connections, actually is invited to the house of a wealthy man with ties to the criminal world, a creepy man in fancy, wealthy suits, but stuck in a wheelchair and with a fake eye shining like a silver dollar.

Slugworth's purpose seems to be the destruction of Wonka. He tries to convince the children to sabotage or put maybe bombs and things like that inside the Wonka factory, or to ruin batches of candy, stuff like that.

Prodnose rather keeps sending women as emissaries. In fact even thought of making Prodnose actually a female chocolatier, but I don't know yet... I thought of Prodnose as some sort of media mogul, that tries to spread their brand to everything (there are Prodnose television shows, book series, toys, sport equipment, gardening tools, etc...) including candy-making and chocolate-making.

One "messenger" contacts Veruca Salt. She is one of the journalists interviewinv the young girl after she found her Ticket. Based on Cherry from the musical, she is a happy, charmant, pleasant woman. But her face has something... weird to it, almost unnatural, as if she had a bad surgery job done to it. And she keeps smiling all the time - her smile seems completely stuck.

Henry Trout is the other one to receive a messenger from Prodnose. As Henry goes to have a new suit tailored for him (because of course Henry only had tailored suit perfectly to his size), the tailor reveals herself as a messenger of Prodnose, who could easily bring back Henry in Prodnose-made television series and shows. The tailor herself is a tall and thin lady all dressed in black, and with long, spindly fingers with long and pointy nails - her hands in fact look like creepy spiders.

I thought of probably Prodnose trying to cause a huge scandal inside the Wonka factory, and thus asking the kids to find out Wonka's dirty secrets, and if not, to invent some that they would "reveal" upon leaving the Factory. Where Slugworth tries to ruin physically and economically Wonka, Prodnose tries to ruin his reputation and to discredit him on moral ground.

As for Fickelgrubber, he is actually envious of Wonka. I think he is a very young person hailing from a very wealthy and powerful family, and his dream was to become a candy-maker, but he was very bad at it. However he refused to give up - especially when seeing how Wonka was succesful. Fickelgrubber is an envious and jealous child-minded young person, and he refuses to admit Wonka can succeed where he fails. Fickelgrubber has tried to copy and steal Wonka's inventions for years now, but all his attempt ended up failing miserably - he copied the ice-cream that never melt of Wonka, but they had a tendency to turn into rock-hard material. He copied the gum that could create gigantic balloons of Wonka, but he mixed up the recipe, and the gum actually made kids inflate and pop like balloons. And when Fickelgrubber released glow-in-the-dark candies, it was later revealed they contained a huge dose of radioactive components.

Fickelgrubber's emisseries are creepy kids (I still don't know if they are "friends" of his or merely all sorts of cousins of his real family - as I said, Fickelgrubber is quite young, both in spirit and mind).

Violet, upon visiting her local cemetery, is contacted by a beautiful blond teenager standing on the wall of the cemetery. He acts flirtingly, seductively, playing the "good cop" (and he also actually acts like a cat, meowing, purring and sometimes even moving like a cat - I thought of him as a parody of Cat Noir from Miraculous). And when Violet is not receptive to this, the boy presents his sister, that is waiting behind Violet. A big, burly, muscular girl with a bulldog-like face.

Miranda is also contacted by Fickelgrubber emissaries - twin girls, identical, but "perfect", as in with perfectly clean and ordered clothes, identical beautiful hairstyle, and the like (I thought of them as inspired by the twins from The Shining). They are basically the kind of "perfect" and "proper" kids Miranda seeks to create in the world. And they try to convince her to join them (they even have prepared for Miranda clothes identical to their own so that they would become their new sister). I don't know however how would Miranda react to that - either she refuses, due to stealing secrets being perceived as cheating and she is against it ; either the sisters actually convince her to go along with the plan by the simple argument that Wonka is an excentric, ridiculous man that gets success without hard work, and Miranda hates both goofy/clownish and not-hard-working people.

As for Charlie Bucket, he will actually be visited in turn by one messenger from each chocolatier (in fact, he may even escape them when they start fighting each other).

Slugworth's emissary... I actually don't know. Xp I thought of maybe a kind olf man, almost grandfather like, that acts all nice and doting, but then reveals that inside his cane, there is a blade.

Prodnose's emissary is a loud-talking woman with a lot of makeup and wearing a huge coat made out of crocodile (I thought of her as a mix of Cruella and Ursula).

As for Fickelgrubber's emissaries, Charlie meets at first a beautiful Japanese teenager (male or female?) dressed in a refined suit, something between a fashion model and a succesful business owner. And when their smooth talk fails, they present their brothers - because they are triplets. And appear from the darkness two huge sumos, teenagers yes, but the size of elephants. (This was again inspired by usual sumo appearances in cartoons, from JCA to the Simpsons passing by Shuriken School).

#catcf #charlie and the chocolate factory #white chocolate #augustus gloop #mike teavee #violet beauregarde #veruca salt #terence roper #miranda mary piker #fickelgrubber #prodnose #slugworth

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kingneptunesthinninghead · 3 years ago

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In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? i love me some mcdonald’s fries.

Are there hurricanes where you live? they happen every once in a while

What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. same

What song are you listening to right now? nothing but catch fire by 5sos is stuck in my head.

What was your first concert? brad paisley 🤠.

What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? willy wonka and the chocolate factory

Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. probably same

Do you like pumpkin pie? it’s about the only pie i DO like.

Do you know anyone named Austin? no one i like

Do you know anyone who is having a baby? my friend just gave birth to a baby about a week ago

What was the last thing you cried about? i cried in the car on the way home from work last night while listening to jet black heart lmaooo.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? i dont drink milk.

Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. agreed, i’m conflict avoidant to a fault

How many deep dark secrets do you have? i dont think i have any

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? the hot wings from bonchon were pretty f’n spicy

Who last called you sexy? i dont remember

Would you class yourself as a good role model? i think for the most part

Are you scared of the dark? sometimes i am

Do you have a motto? nah.

Who did you last see on webcam? my club committee from school

Do you need a haircut? i just got one about a month ago so not atm

How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? that would be impossible considering she’s in menopause and has her tubes tied

You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? no one i hate facebook

Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? most of the time alone but sometimes i’ll exercise with my sister or in a structured workout class

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? any bc i suck at video games

Ever watch the show Supernatural? nope

Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? i’ve heard of it but never tried it

Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? i went thru hardcore icarly and victorious phases, also LOVED spongebob

Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? sometimes i’ll do bacon on mine

When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? the length of a book has never deterred me from reading it, ever.

Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? maybe

Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? not to toot my own horn but me

Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? no

When is the last time you cried? didnt i already answer this

Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? mm prob not

What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? i guess marvel and space would count

Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? no but i’ve attended several weddings of people who have quickly divorced

What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? raising them to be a good well adjusted person.

Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? prob not

Would you ever be a surrogate mother? nope

What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? i would love having that strong of a bond with someone and having someone to go thru life with but i would also feel like i never had anything that was truly mine esp in early childhood

Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? my childhood was great compared to a lot of peoples and i’m extremely thankful for that

How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? i would feel betrayed that i’d lied to for 20 years

Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? not that i know of and again i would feel crushed and betrayed

Do you like cleaning and organizing? when i’m in the mood for it

How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? i would definitely be upset bc i want to have at least one biological kid but in the end i would find just as much joy from adopting a child and giving them a loving home.

Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? it depends on what other factors are in my life at the time

Have you ever been robbed? no

Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? my friend at college and that’s not even a joke that’s genuine. i think he’s getting the help he needs tho which is good

Have you ever dumped anyone? no

What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. same it tastes like dish water

Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. same

What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? omg i still remember this bc i was blown away by how sweet it was. so in 9th grade i had one friend in my pe class and idek how we started talking but we just stuck by each other bc we didn’t have anyone else and we sat at our own table right by the teacher’s desk in health class and we actually became pretty close friends throughout the year well anyway i mentioned my birthday was coming up and she asked me what i wanted and i was like no you don’t have to and she was like do you want flowers and i was like sure why not and i didn’t think she was gonna actually do it but then on my birthday she shows up to health class with these beautiful purple flowers and i was so shocked that she actually got them for me so yeah i’ve never forgotten that ever. she moved away after that year and i never saw her again but i hope she’s doing well

What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? straight but i have questioned before.

Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? nothing too wild

Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: bored, content, excited

And the reasons for these feelings? bored bc i’m at work, content bc i like the way my life is going rn, excited bc i get to go back to school and see all my college friends soon.

How do you feel about your life right now? pretty pleased at the moment

Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? no. it’s a conscious choice to like yourself that you have to make everyday and some days that choice is easier to make than others

What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. agree with this, i’m very good at english and i understand some science

What subjects do not? MATH

Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? fiction but sometimes i like a good non fiction book.

How has today been for you? pretty good nothing too exciting

What did you do? watched tv and went to work

Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? no

Are there any lava lamps near you? nope.

Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. agree i have 4

Are any of your friends a pothead? yes, several

What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? start working out consistently again and get into therapy.

Are you a high maintenance person? nope

The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? i was at a karaoke night

Have you ever been heartbroken? yep

Who did that to you? my ex crush

Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? ohhhh yeah

The last type of sandwich you made or ate: a ham and cheese sandwich with pepperoni and mayo

The last time you spent most of the day in bed: when i was at school and i had stayed up until 6am the night before.

The last friend or acquaintance you made: my coworker

The last thing you took pictures of: a rainbow

The last time you were scared: when i thought a car was following me the other night

The last thing you looked up online: manic panic hair dye.

The last thing you disagreed with: i don’t remember.

Does your house have a separate laundry room? yep

Do your parents still help you financially? yes, a lot

Does your car have a backup camera? nope.

Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? not to where they’ve been arrested

Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? my childhood cat lived to be 18 which was pretty impressive.

What was the last strong scent you smelled? my cat’s fart

Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? no way

Is your bed against more than one of your walls? nope

Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? um yes some people i know have dilfs i’m sorry

Have you ever pole danced before? no

Have you ever broken into someone’s house? no.

Have you ever seen a live bat? yup at a beach house in the obx

What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? i bought bonchon for my friends and i one time which was just about $100

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? no

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? as little time as possible.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? i had one math teacher in high school that consistently made me feel dumb bc i needed extra help to understand the concepts and couldn’t do mental math that fast so didnt like her

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? closest i’ve been was second row

Are your parents supportive of you? yep

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troublewheeler · 5 years ago

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three times he thought he fell in love.

SIX YEARS OLD.

it’s 1977 and karen wheeler is bound and determined to appear like the perfect suburban family. cookouts every other weekend, bringing casserole to neighbors who need cheering up, etc. she’s ticked almost every box she can possibly think of. even going to church on every sunday.

and mike hates it.

however, it doesn’t seem so bad when he runs into catherine on his way to the bathroom. if mike likes anything about coming to this dreadful place, it’s her. in fact, he tells his mom at least every fifteen minutes that he has to go potty so he can sneak out and meet her. they’ve made it a routine. if one leaves the room, the other follows closely behind.

most of the time, they don’t even make it to the bathroom. they just talk and share candy with each other. mike has asked her to come over several times, but she never follows up with an answer from her own mother. it’s fine, though. he’ll cherish their brief moments of sneaking away if he has to.

because of catherine, mike is more excited to wake up early on sunday mornings. jumping out of bed, putting on his best clothes and even checking his hair in the mirror. this is the first time he’s liked a girl—like, really liked a girl. according to the movies he’s watched with nancy, he’s most definitely falling in love! they’re just like robin hood and maid marian, meeting up in secret. they’re sweethearts!

then they stopped going to church, because everyone got bored with it. especially ted, who usually has the biggest say in things given that he’s the ‘man of the house’. mike is absolutely crushed. their sunday meetings were ended so suddenly, but mostly, he’s upset because he never got to tell her how he felt.

EIGHT YEARS OLD.

mike’s got a new babysitter, because nancy isn’t always available. in fact, she hardly ever is. not since she’s been running off to barb’s every weekend for sleepovers or whatever. probably talking about boys, and doing each other’s nails. gross!

but the new babysitter, carol, is all right. kind of rough around the edges, but totally fun. actually, she’s the coolest person mike’s ever met. when nancy babysits, she hardly lets him do anything, but this girl will let him do everything. in fact, she’ll let him stay up late, and eat ice cream, and throw firecrackers into the neighbor’s yard.

they can’t tell mike’s parents, though! because it’s their little secret. mike knows what they’re doing would be frowned upon by anyone, especially parents, so he’s good to keep the secret. he loves that it’s something that only they share. it’s like they’re bonnie and clyde!

mike has never felt more smitten for a girl in his entire life. this is it, he thinks. i’m really in love this time.

but then she invites her new boyfriend, tommy, over. they always send mike to his room so they can sit on the couch and make out. it’s gross! and unfair! carol was his girl first, and now this tommy guy just swoops in and steals her away. it’s absolute total BULLSHIT!

now they’ve grown apart over the years, but she’ll always stay close to his heart, no matter how much it hurt to lose her to someone else. and... maybe she wasn’t his first love, not really, but he did love her. he does love her, because she’s carol. so, how could he not?

TEN YEARS OLD.

debbie gilmore. man, oh man. mike doesn’t even know where to begin when describing that girl. debbie is, by far, the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. actually, she’s the first girl he’s ever thought was pretty, because now he’s older, and that’s something he notices.

he meets her in science class when they’re paired up for some stupid assignment. they’re supposed to build a volcano together, but mike is more interested in spending time with her. she’s cool, and funny, and also likes star wars. which, isn’t really surprising, because star wars is amazing.

once the project is finished ( they get a b because mike accidentally overdid it with the baking soda ), mike still hangs out with debbie almost everyday. his friends are getting frustrated, and his mom is constantly giving him the third degree.

they’re watching willy wonka and the chocolate factory when she tells him. “ my family is moving.” what? but... they’ve only just met! she can’t leave. he hasn’t even gotten around to telling her how he feels—which is... like he’s in love or... something.

it doesn’t matter now, he figures, because she’ll be gone no matter what. they have a fight, a big one, and mike will always regret leaving it on bad terms. but, it’s not as if it was meant to be, anyway. it’s not like he was really in love. debbie was just a girl who seemed amazing, and he let his mind run away with the idea that he could fall for her.

mike will never forget her, though. it only lasted for two weeks, but for a ten year old, two weeks can feel like a lifetime.

and the one time he did.

TWELVE YEARS OLD.

at first, he thought maybe she was a boy, but she isn’t. she’s a girl, scared and alone and confused. mike doesn’t know where she came from, or what she’s been through, but he wants to help. in any way that he can, and he builds her a fort in the basement, and gives her food. mike teaches her about friends, and family. and he gives her a name—el. but it’s not enough. she can’t stay cooped up in the basement forever.

so, he ditches school to hang out with her. to briefly let her out of hiding so she can take a breather. he shows her his family’s tv, boasting about how big it is. he explains the pictures on the mantle, naming all his family members. then he shows her their la-z-boy. “ just trust me, okay? ” he tells her softly before pulling the handle on the side and unfolding the footrest. the chair launches backwards and she’s startled at first, but then she giggles.

“ see? fun, right? ” he pulls the chair back into it’s original position, locking it into place. “ now you try. ” watching her closely, el copies exactly what he did, giggling again when the chair folds out. it’s amazing how the most mundane things excite and amuse her. that smile, too—mike will do anything to see that smile over and over and over. there’s bubbling feeling in his chest, the reason he can’t stop grinning. his entire body feels light, and happy.

this time, he’s going to tell the girl how he feels. but—how? he’s never done it before. quite frankly, these emotions feel so much stronger than all the other times combined. he fumbles over his words, failing to explain it to her. hell, he can’t even really make sense of it himself. so, in a moment of panicked desperation, mike kisses her.

and then she’s gone.

he loses her for three hundred and fifty-three days, and it’s the most devastating thing he’s every had to experience. it’s like his whole world has been shattered, and he spends almost an entire goddamn year trying to find all the pieces. trying to find el, to reach out to her somehow.

finally, she comes back to him, and she’s been listening this whole time. every single day. mike stares down at el, completely dumbstruck by the fact that she’s been longing for him as much as he’s been been longing for her. then it hits him. now this... this is what love feels like, and he doesn’t even have to question it. because it’s not a crush, and it’s not infatuation.

mike is in love with el, and he has been from the moment he first saw her smile.

#this is just to showcase mike's hopeless romantic nature #because i love him or...... whateva #also ngl the carol one made me tear up a lot #the debbie one was inspired by little manhattan #which... i .... may have taken a quote from #oops #anyway this is a mess but it's been in my drafts for........#over a week #it needed to be done #wish we could turn back time to the good old days — headcanons ツ

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lisacongo2-blog · 5 years ago

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‘Shrill’ Shreds Hollywood Stereotypes About How Women of Size Eat

The first time you see Annie, the protagonist of the new Hulu show Shrill, eating, her meal doesn’t look particularly pleasant. Played by SNL cast member Aidy Bryant, Annie grabs a plastic container from the fridge, opening it to reveal three white disks — supposedly pancakes — from a Tupperware labeled “Thin Menu.” While standing in her kitchen, she tries to break off a slab, puts it in her mouth, and wrinkles her nose in disgust. Her roommate, Fran (played by Lolly Adefope), walks by to witness the three doughy pucks, and says, “Good God.”

It’s not the only time Annie eats in her kitchen. Later in the series, Bryant opens a sealed container of leftover spaghetti, standing alone over an island near the sink. She twirls noodles around her fork, grinning in anticipation. She looks confident, blissed out, holding her hand under her chin as a noodle inches toward her lips. She scrunches her eyebrows and crinkles her nose, the perfect opposite of her look of disgust eating the Thin Meal pancakes. She nods and smiles while chewing, enjoying the moment.

The annals of TV are full of stories where women change themselves, from Mad Men’s Peggy Olsen to Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place. But Shrill, the six-episode adaptation of writer Lindy West’s memoir of the same name, is a different kind of “transformation” story, starring a woman of size. The show tells the story of Annie, a Portland-based calendar editor for an alt-weekly newspaper, trying to jump start her career, earn the love of Ryan, a painfully oblivious loser, and become a more honest, self-assured person. What Shrill is not is a story of body transformation, of a fat woman getting thin. Although it shows Annie eating diet meals and exercising with her mother, her real goal goes beyond the universal challenge of self-acceptance — she wants to feel powerful, as a woman of size and simply as a woman. She wants to demand respect from the people around her.

Those people often fat-shame Annie, whether it’s her obsessive online troll, her perpetually sneering editor, or an invasive personal trainer who eventually devolves into calling her a “fat bitch.” Still, Annie’s relationship with her body is more nuanced. Her insecurities are more often portrayed in physical details or unspoken interpersonal choices she makes because she feels that, in her words, “there’s a certain way that your body’s supposed to be and I’m not that.”

In media where a woman’s relationship with her body plays its own role, the eating scenes are telling. There are countless movies in which women devour ice cream during break-ups or lonely moments. And for years, when a person of size ate on screen, it was portrayed as comic relief, from Melissa McCarthy consuming a napkin in Spy to a cross-dressing Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live inhaling his friend’s french fries while asking, “Can I have some?”

Even in shows and movies celebrated for their representations of non-normative bodies, eating is reserved for emotional distress. In HBO’s Girls, Hannah Horvath (played by Lena Dunham) is often caught eating during low moments, like when she eats cake with her hands after her purse is stolen on the train. In Real Women Have Curves, it takes a conflict with her mother to get the protagonist, Ana (America Ferrera), to eat a bite of flan in a moment of overall positive defiance. Rarely do women of size get the opportunity to eat happily on screen without some tumult, some churning emotional hang-ups or interpersonal conflict. The exception, of course, is when people of size are shot eating healthy foods, like when the contestants on The Biggest Loser marvel over turkey burgers. But if a not-thin character is caught eating a cupcake, the audience is meant to laugh or cry at their expense.

When Annie eats so-called “indulgent” foods in Shrill, she’s not considered a failure, and it’s not used as a comic device. Instead, it’s often tied to a moment of personal or thematic triumph completely unrelated to her weight. By simply showing Annie eating the foods countless people love in a way that’s empowering, Shrill reinforces the idea that people, regardless of size, have the right to enjoy food in its entirety — not just salads and apples and other pious things, but rather the foods that are seen as permissibly comforting and luxurious for people of a smaller size. Like last year’s hit culinary travel show Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat, Hulu’s new series rewrites the rules for who gets to enjoy food on television.

Annie isn’t the only big millennial woman eating spaghetti on TV. In a scene on Girls, Hannah grabs handfuls of noodles from a takeout box, dangling them into her open mouth. There is an element of watching this scene that feels relatable, especially for anyone who lives alone, but nothing about that moment is sexy or empowering. At its best, it’s a moment of comic relief born out of universality; at its worst, it’s Dunham’s self-ridiculing humor shaming herself — and other women — for eating without control while not thin.

This is far from the only moment when a woman eating sugary, greasy, and otherwise “bad” foods on television works as a boiler-plate scene representing rock bottom. In her essay “Why is it sad and lonely women who turn to chocolate?” Telegraph culture writer Rebecca Hawkes recalls similar moments in romantic comedies, like when Renee Zellweger devours chocolates under a blanket in Bridget Jones’s Diary, or when Sandra Bullock turns to ice cream in Miss Congeniality. “When you look at the trope in more detail, the implication is that eating chocolate is something ‘naughty,’” she writes. “It’s something that (calorie-counting, figure-obsessed) women shouldn’t be doing, but can’t help resorting to in moments of extreme trauma — or simply due to a comedic lack of discipline.” In her essay, Hawkes also brings up another classic plus-sized person comically shamed and punished for their gluttony: Augustus Gloop, the rotund little boy in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, presumably killed for wanting to eat some of the chocolate in a literal river of chocolate — as if anyone wouldn’t.

Ryan (Luka Jones) and Annie (Aidy Bryant)

Photo: Allyson Riggs/Shrill

But still, beyond little boys, beyond thin ladies, it’s plus-size women whose eating is most often used as a thematic example of a psychological and/or personal failure, whether it’s comical or supposedly tragic. “With any overweight, unruly woman, there’s always a tendency to pathologize their relationship with food,” says Kathleen Rowe Karlyn, author of The Unruly Woman: Gender and the Genres of Laughter. “[For] women who dive in to the quart of ice cream or the box of chocolate, food is a source of comfort because life is not giving them other types of comfort.”

If women get fat as a plot device, they’re often shown eating something like pizza, ice cream, chocolate, or other sweets — take, for example, Goldie Hawn gorging herself on frosting post-breakup in Death Becomes Her. If a character appears to get them out of a slump, a chicken wing might be yanked out of their hands. And they won’t reach personal fulfillment until they’re skinny again. Meanwhile, women who are thin and confident — whether it’s Drew Barrymore in Charlie’s Angels, or the titular Gilmore Girls — are free to eat as much as they please, to the delight of all who watch them.

Annie didn’t originally eat the spaghetti. It was made by Fran’s brother, Lamar (Akemnji Ndifornyen), who spends the third episode, “Pencil,” visiting his sister and her roommate. For most of the first few episodes, Annie is busy obsessing over a man (Luka Jones) who is so embarrassed by her that he sends her out the back door of his apartment so his roommates can’t see her. On their first date, she eats a salad. When she arrives home after Ryan has stood her up, Lamar and Fran offer her the spaghetti. She turns it down.

Lamar, a chef, spends the episode quietly fawning over Annie. When he arrives, he gives her a box of chocolate turtles, an elaborate reference to a memory from their past. He lights up when she enters the room. And later, when she comes back after choosing not to see Ryan, he admits that he likes her, and that he always did. After they have sex, Annie tiptoes downstairs to the kitchen, where she finds the pasta he made. The scene is romantic and almost sexy, in a totally subtle, maybe even unintentional way. He didn’t make the pasta for her, specifically, but it was made by him.

But beyond the romantic arc of Annie and Lamar, the scene’s impact comes directly from what it means for her, in her path to self-respect: she’s giving herself what she wants and deserves, on her own terms. And the bewildered delight in her face as she eats is so contagiously joyful that the context of her weight becomes irrelevant.

Annie (Aidy Bryant) and Lamar (Akemnji Ndifornyen).

Photo by: Allyson Riggs/Shrill

Beyond the men in her life, one of Annie’s most fraught relationships is with her mother, Vera (played by Julia Sweeney), who’s responsible for the Thin Menu meals. During a pivotal rant, when Annie describes the ways the people around her have made her size seem like a moral failing, she says, “At this point, I could be a licensed fucking nutritionist because I’ve literally been training for it since the fourth grade, which is the first time that my mom said that I should just eat a bowl of Special K and not the dinner that she made for everyone else so I might be a little bit smaller.” One of Annie’s most significant plot developments with her mother, when she pushes back against her health policing, starts with a meal of meatball subs with her father. And when the season ends, we leave Vera lying on the ground with a bag of chips, suggesting that Annie’s number one advice giver also needs respite from controlling everything.

“Whether they’re very curvy like Mae West or they’re slender, I think what we haven’t seen in a long time is the ability of women just to be seen enjoying food,” Karlyn says. “Food is enjoyable (to women), not because they’re neurotic, not because they’re crazy, not because they’re sex-obsessed, just because food is a natural pleasure of life.” That’s how Shrill treats food, but also most of life’s joys: dancing at a party, swimming in a pool, having sex, being honest. Counter to the ways television and movies have previously presented plus-size women, as victims of their own lack of self-control, Shrill shows how restrictive life as a plus-size woman can be, and how often that’s a direct result of their self control. Shrill seems to be advocating for more self-designated freedom for women of size — the freedom to live with abandon. As Annie says, lying in bed and taking charge, “I’ve got big titties and a fat ass — I make the rules.”

Brooke Jackson-Glidden is the editor of Eater Portland. Edited by: Greg Morabito

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Source: https://www.eater.com/2019/3/28/18284128/shrill-hulu-aidy-bryant-food-eating

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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sparkvelvet75-blog · 5 years ago

Text

‘Shrill’ Shreds Hollywood Stereotypes About How Women of Size Eat

Ryan (Luka Jones) and Annie (Aidy Bryant)

Photo: Allyson Riggs/Shrill

Annie (Aidy Bryant) and Lamar (Akemnji Ndifornyen).

Photo by: Allyson Riggs/Shrill

Brooke Jackson-Glidden is the editor of Eater Portland. Edited by: Greg Morabito

Eat, Drink, Watch.

Food entertainment news and streaming recommendations every Friday

By signing up, you agree to our Privacy Policy and European users agree to the data transfer policy.

Source: https://www.eater.com/2019/3/28/18284128/shrill-hulu-aidy-bryant-food-eating

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butaneplate02-blog · 6 years ago

Text

‘Shrill’ Shreds Hollywood Stereotypes About How Women of Size Eat

Ryan (Luka Jones) and Annie (Aidy Bryant)

Photo: Allyson Riggs/Shrill

Annie (Aidy Bryant) and Lamar (Akemnji Ndifornyen).

Photo by: Allyson Riggs/Shrill

Brooke Jackson-Glidden is the editor of Eater Portland. Edited by: Greg Morabito

Eat, Drink, Watch.

Food entertainment news and streaming recommendations every Friday

By signing up, you agree to our Privacy Policy and European users agree to the data transfer policy.

Source: https://www.eater.com/2019/3/28/18284128/shrill-hulu-aidy-bryant-food-eating

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livinglondon · 8 years ago

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Welcome To The Venice Of The North

Amsterdam is a land of bicycles, canals and pancakes. This weekend I made my first international journey completely on my own. Getting to London was one thing, but this time I didn’t have my parents to drive me to the airport or a group of SU students to accompany me on the flight. My friend Nikki and I set our alarms for 3:00am to make our way to London’s Gatwick airport for our 8am flight. After seeing a couple of guys set of the alarms at KFC, catching a bus to Victoria Station and walking behind some circus carnies, I hopped on the Gatwick express and was on my way.

Upon landing in Amsterdam at 10am on Friday morning, we managed to grab a taxi and get to our hostel. I’m not going to lie, we weren’t totally prepared for the weather. Last time I checked the lovely handy-dandy weather app it said that the weekend would be 40 and sunny. It was 30 and snowing - hard. We threw our luggage into a locker, got our hats and gloves and headed out to explore Amsterdam first hand.

Our first stop was a small restaurant called GS (reallyniceplace.com) for lunch. The place was covered in comics and its menu was printed on records giving it an 80’s movie feel. This place had a rave reviews for its bloody marys so I decided to take a risk and have a taste. I drank about a quarter of the glass before pushing it to the edge of the table. Needless to say it wasn't the drink for me.

For the afternoon, we had planned on going on a free walking tour of the city but because Nikki only had a pair of keds we opted to go shopping instead. We made our way to the city’s famous floating flower market where we saw tulips, peonies, chrysanthemums and more flowers that provide a pop of color against the grey skyline. We also check out “De 9 Straatjes”, nine streets famous for shopping. I’m just going to be blunt and say every store screamed hipster. There were stores full of little knick-knacks, books and clothing I would never be able to pull off.

After loosening our wallets a bit, we decided on a whim to take a canal cruise during sunset which was too beautiful to put into words. Over a pink sky we got to see all of Amsterdam’s exquisite architecture, boat homes, and even the famous tiny bridge all lit up. Due to the unexpected snow storm, this was the perfect way to see many of Amsterdam’s famous landmarks such as the Dutch National Opera & the Ballet House, EYE, and Centraal Station. We ended the night with a dinner of champions at the Pancake Bakery. The pancakes were crepe like but the size of a pizza and they had toppings of all kinds. I was so excited to eat mine that I forgot to take a picture but trust me it was amazing.

Our ride for the evening.

Although I forgot to take a photo of my pancake I did have this delicious hot chocolate served with a tiny caramel filled waffle that I found I can buy at M&S!

We woke up bright and early on Saturday to begin our day of visiting as many tourists attractions as we could. Our first stop was my favorite part of the trip - the Anne Frank House. Having read Anne Frank’s diary as a kid several times I was always intrigued at the thought of visiting the place where Anne wrote it and called home. I wasn’t prepared for how overwhelming it would be to walk up the stairs hidden behind the original bookcase, see the scratches marking her and Margaret’s growth on the walls and read from the pages of her original diary. We grew up learning about the atrocities of World War 2 and listening to the stories of Jewish families that suffered, but this was my first time actually seeing a piece of the war and it made me realize just how fragile the life you know is.

As any John Green fan would know a tear jerking scene from The Fault In Our Stars was filmed in the Anne Frank House and a good portion of the book took place in Amsterdam. So before grabbing some lunch, we trekked through the snow to the infamous TFIOS bench. After getting lost a couple of times we found the waterside bench along a quiet residential street. The bench was covered in signatures, declarations of love and quotes from the book. People also placed locks on the bench like the love lock bridge in Paris. Although I couldn’t feel my fingertips at this point my fangirl heart was full.

Okay? Okay.

Our next stop was the Van Gogh museum where you could see all of his famous artworks except for Starry Night. It was wonderful to see Van Gogh's sunflowers, bedroom and self portraits but even more incredible to learn about his life and the inspiration behind his artwork. The gift shop also had our favorite souvenir of all time - a key ring with a giant blue ear cruelly called an ear-ring.

We proceeded to take our picture in front of the I Amsterdam sign, walk through the archway of the Rijksmuseum, admire the beautiful snow covered Vondelpark and grab some bitterballen as a snack. Side note, I never ate so much good food as I did in Amsterdam. From the pancakes, to the cheese and bitterballen, my tastebuds were constantly satisfied.

A little friend in Vondelpark

Now I didn’t really know what to expect at the Heineken Experience but I was pleasantly surprised. It was basically a Disney amusement ride for adults. We got a history of the brand, a tour of the Willy Wonka esque factory and were even sprayed with water during a 3D movie. After being forced to chug down our first of 3 beers we entered a disco party, did some karaoke while riding bikes and took some silly pictures in a photo booth. Heineken is my favorite beer now just because of how fun those three hours were.

Afterwards we grabbed dinner at an Italian place with great service, delicious ice cream and a house cat. We were absolutely exhausted so we hopped on a tram back to our hostel and called it an early night.

Despite the constant smell of weed, unwelcome snow, and near death experiences trying to cross the road without getting hit by a cyclist or tram, Amsterdam was an incredible city. I kept feeling like I was a fairytale with the snow covered cobblestone streets, deep blue water, tiny homes and bridges decorated with sparkly lights. Although I wasn’t expecting the snow, it was wonderful to be in this weird winter wonderland for a weekend. However, I was beyond ready to be back in London where bikes are rare and the public transport is faster than walking.

Here’s to surviving my first international - international trip and practicing my French for next weekend’s trip to Paris.

Au revoir,

Sara

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years ago

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923.

5k Survey XLI

2101. Are you an optimist? >> No. I don’t think I’m really any of the “-ists”, not in any consistent sense. 2102. If you were in the Breakfast Club, which character would you be? >> I don’t know enough about the Breakfast Club to have an answer for this. 2103. Who do you have no respect for? >> I don’t know. I haven’t encountered anyone that I can’t even muster the most bare-bones amount of respect for. Even if I don’t agree with them or think their behaviour is deplorable, I’m still going to do my best to treat them like a human being -- just a human being I don’t necessarily want to be around. 2104. Is the plural form of cactus cactuses or cacti? >> I’m under the impression that it’s “cactuses” but “cacti” is acceptable. Kind of like “octopuses” and “octopi” (although I am also under the impression that another acceptable plural of octopus is “octopodes”??) Is the plural form of penis penises or peni? >> I have never heard “peni” offered as a true plural for penis.

2105. What does your favorite coffee mug look like? >> It’s white on the outside, yellow on the inside, and it has a little cactus drawing on it. 2106. Have you ever gotten hurt at a concert? >> Mildly. I was a little banged up in the neck/head area after Taste of Chaos, because of crowdsurfers kicking me in the back of the head and landing on me while trying to dismount. Nothing any more intense than that, though. 2107. What age do you think it is most difficult to be? >> --- 2108. Do you like to be considered weird or different? >> I’m indifferent. I know I’m weird, I don’t need external confirmation on that front. 2109. Do you think you could handle a day in jail? >> I suppose I’d make it through somehow. But it would be very harrowing, and I certainly couldn’t push through for much more time than that without breaking down in some way. 2110. Is your body an amusement park? >> It isn’t. 2111. Are dj’s obsolete? >> My last encounter with a DJ was in January of this year, so I imagine they’re not obsolete. 2112. What is the best liquid in existence? >> I mean, water. All other earthly liquid (well, that I can think of...) is based on it in some fashion, anyway. 2113. What is turning out better than expected? >> I’m not sure. 2114. Who is the most overbearing person you know? >> I don’t think I know any especially overbearing people. 2115. Who does it surprise you that you are close to? >> Being close to anyone outside of Inworld would surprise me. 2116. Apparently Eminem got booed at the MTV music video awards because he was making fun of Moby onstage. What do you think of this? >> I don’t even remember this. 2117. Close your eyes. What do you see? >> Mostly blackness. 2118. What’s the best Van Halen song? >> I don’t know. I do like Running with the Devil, but mostly I just... don’t remember what songs they put out. 2119. What do you picture when you hear the word “Puritans?” >> Some vague eighteenth or nineteenth-century imagery of New England mostly cobbled together from movies. 2120. Have you ever been on a trampoline? >> I have, I used to love trampolines. I don’t have the same stamina for them now, but I’d still probably get one if we moved into a house with a backyard. 2121. What do you use batteries for the most often? >> The only things I’ve put batteries in lately are my toothbrush and... yeah, no, I think that’s it. My computer peripherals are wired, I haven’t had to replace the TV remote’s batteries yet, and every other electronic I have plugs in to be charged. 2122. What do you find thrilling? >> I’m not sure. 2123. Porch swing. Sunrise. What else could you ask for? >> A nice beverage, I guess, otherwise I agree -- that just sounds perfect. 2124. Do you like William Shatner’s cover of Mr Tambourine Man? >> I’ve never heard it. 2125. Where’s the sexiest place to have a piercing? >> --- 2126. Do you get panic attacks? >> Occasionally. 2127. How long does getting dressed to go to a club take you? >> --- 2128. What is Adam Ant’s best song? >> I don’t know his (their?) music. 2129. Does your body need improvement or is it just fine? >> I’m inclined to believe that it needs improvement, but I’d also just love to accept it the way it is while allowing room for improvement (in terms of health and fitness, I mean). That’s the hard part. 2130. Does watching MTV or reading beauty magazines make you feel bad about yourself? >> Those are not the things that make me feel bad about myself... 2132. What is the most romantic movie ever? >> The Shape of Water. 2133. Do you think that woman are treated as second class citizens of this world? >> What world? Every culture / nation has its own way of treating women. 2134. What would you do if you were at a dance club with your significant other and he or she got into a fistfight with someone? >> If Sparrow got into a fistfight with someone, I’d like to see that play out. She’s always talkin about fighting people anyway, lmao. There’s her chance. I, on the other hand, am disinterested in getting beaten up, so. (If it gets bad, I’ll just call the EMTs.) 2135. Has anyplace ever asked you to leave? >> Yeah. 2136. Have you ever been openly kicked out? >> As opposed to politely being asked to leave, you mean? Yeah, actually, this is a better descriptor of what happened. 2137. Are you permanently banned from anywhere? >> I don’t know if the bans were permanent, per se. I didn’t go back to find out. 2138. Who is your favorite movie director? >> Darren Aronofsky. 2139. What topic do you hate to talk about? >> I hate talking about music sometimes because it often turns into a “x genre/song/artist is better than y genre/song/artist” sort of thing. I don’t care about all that, I just like talking about music I enjoy and hearing what kinds of music other people enjoy (and maybe listening to that music to see if I also enjoy it, because common ground is nice to have). 2140. Are you looking forward to the remake of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory or do you think it could never be as good as the original? >> Oh, is this the one with Johnny Depp? I saw it, but considering I am unfamiliar with the original, I have no comparisons to make. It was... all right, I suppose. Like most JD movies. 2141. Do you enjoy the band Ministry? >> I think I’ve heard them a few times but they didn’t make a lasting impression or anything. 2142. What is your coziest article of clothing? >> I find my hoodies to be cozy. Also, pjs. 2143. What is your favorite word to say? >> I don’t know. 2144. Does your name and your significant other’s name feel like one word to you? >> No... 2145. Do you like the band the Buzzcocks? >> I’ve never listened to them. 2146. Can you tell when other people are lying? >> I don’t know, I don’t bother trying to guess. 2147. Do you like to wear glitter? >> No. 2148. Would you prefer to wrap your own presents or have them all gift-wrapped? >> --- 2149. Where do you go when you want to meet new people? >> I have no idea where one goes to meet new people. 2150. What is the best first sentence to a book, in your opinion? >> I don’t have an opinion about this.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey

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chicagoindiecritics · 5 years ago

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New from Kevin Wozniak on Kevflix: What’s Streaming This Month? – May

As we continue to be stuck in quarantine due to COVID-19, our streaming services have become essential to keep us entertained during this time. Luckily for us, our streaming services have had pretty great content during this time and May only adds to it. Along with Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, and Disney+, I include the Criterion Channel on this list as well, as the content Criterion produces is spectacular. Here are my picks for the best movies coming to Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, Disney+, and Criterion Channel in May.

NETFLIX

Full list of everything coming to Netflix in April can be found here.

BACK TO THE FUTURE and BACK TO THE FUTURE PART II (Robert Zemeckis, 1985/1989)

The third film was already on Netflix, so it’s only right to put the first two on as well. Back to the Future is a perfect movie and the best time travel movie ever made. The sequel is inventive and fun. Watch all three, it’s an excellent trilogy.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (David Fincher, 2008)

A visually stunning piece of filmmaking from the great David Fincher.

DEN OF THIEVES (Christian Gudegast, 2018)

An interesting, methodical, Heat-like crime thriller that has grown on me after multiple viewings.

DISTRICT 9 (Neil Blomkamp, 2009)

A wildly original sci-fi movie and the only good movie of Neil Blomkamp’s career.

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (Brad Furman, 2011)

A cool little courtroom drama that kicked off the McConaissance of the early 2010’s.

THE LOVEBIRDS (Michael Showalter, 2020)

I usually don’t put new Netflix movies on here, but a romantic comedy with Issa Rae and Kumail Nanjiani directed by the director of The Big Sick gives me hope that this could be a great one.

PUBLIC ENEMIES (Michael Mann, 2009)

Johnny Depp gives one of the best performances of his career in Michael Mann’s engrossing, stunningly made biopic about gangster John Dillinger.

UNCUT GEMS (Josh and Benny Safdie, 2019)

One of the best movies of 2019, Uncut Gems features a career-best performance by Adam Sandler in the Safdie Brother’s anxiety-enducing crime thriller.

UNITED 93 (Paul Greengrass, 2006)

A tough watch, but Paul Greengrass rightly earned a Best Director Oscar nomination of this harrowing true story of passengers who foiled a terrorist plot on 9/11.

WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY/CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (Mel Stuart, 1971/Tim Burton, 2005)

Two films from the same source material that couldn’t be more different. Could be a cool little double feature.

AMAZON PRIME

Full list of everything coming to Amazon Prime in April can be found here.

COME TO DADDY (Ant Timpson, 2020)

A horror flick starring Elijah Wood. That’s all I got and that’s all I need.

THE GOLDFINCH (John Crowley, 2019)

2019’s biggest Oscar-bait failure is a film I didn’t see in theaters, but one I want to check out and see why this movie failed as hard as it did.

LIKE CRAZY (Drake Dormeus, 2011)

The 2011 Sundance U.S. Dramatic winner is one of the most authentic love stories I’ve ever seen on film and features stellar performances from Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones.

ROCKETMAN (Dexter Fletcher, 2019)

Taron Egerton is masterful in this unique biopic of music icon Elton John.

SEBERG (Benedict Andrews, 2020)

Kristen Stewart, one of my favorite actresses working today, stars as French New Wave icon Jean Seberg, who was being watched by Herbert Hoover and the F.B.I. for her political and romantic involvement with civil rights activist Hakim Jamal.

THE VAST OF NIGHT (Andrew Patterson, 2020)

I’ve heard nothing but great things about this movie for over a year and I am excited to finally watch this mystery thriller.

HULU

Full list of everything coming to Hulu in April can be found here.

BATMAN BEGINS and THE DARK KNIGHT (Christopher Nolan, 2005/2008)

Kind of annoying that they didn’t make the entire trilogy available, but whatever. Batman Begins reinvented Batman on the silver screen and The Dark Knight is my favorite comic book movie ever and one of my all-time favorite movies.

THE CONJURING (James Wan, 2013)

One of the best horror movies of the last ten years.

GOODFELLAS (Martin Scorsese, 1990)

Goodfellas is my favorite movie ever made. I love this movie so much. It’s perfect.

THE GRADUATE (Mike Nichols, 1967)

Another perfect movie, The Graduate is an undeniable classic with themes that still resonate today.

THE LODGE (Severin Fiala, Veronika Franz, 2020)

Even though I’ve heard mixed things about this one, I’ve wanted to see The Lodge since the 2019 Sundance Film Festival and I’m excited to get the chance to check it out.

PAINTER AND THE THIEF (Benjamin Ree, 2020)

This documentary, about a painter who befriends a thief who stole her paintings, was one that I missed at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, but one I really want to check out.

PREMATURE (Rashaad Ernesto Green, 2020)

Rashaad Ernesto Green is a director I’ve been excited for since seeing his debut film Gun Hill Road in 2011, so getting to check out his latest film should be a treat.

SPACESHIP EARTH (Matt Wolf, 2020)

I saw Spaceship Earth at this year’s Sundance Film Festival and it was a very interesting documentary about the group of people who built the Biosphere 2, a giant replica of the earth’s ecosystem, in 1991.

DISNEY+

Full list of everything coming to Disney+ in May can be found here.

FANTASTIC MR. FOX (Wes Anderson, 2009)

A stunning, hilarious, masterful stop-motion film from the great Wes Anderson.

JOHN CARTER (Andrew Stanton, 2012)

A film that isn’t nearly as bad as its legacy precedes it, I’m excited to watch this one again for its sheer scale and insanity.

MALEFICENT: MISTRESS OF EVIL (Joachim Rønning, 2019)

A decent movie that might be better than the first one. Angelina Jolie is pitch-perfect casting as Maleficent.

THE PRINCESS BRIDE (Rob Reiner, 1987)

Could be argued as the most watchable movie ever made. A film full of action, adventure, comedy, romance, and drama and every piece is great.

STAR WARS: EPISODE IX – THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (JJ Abrams, 2019)

I was not a fan of this movie (full review here), but it’s a Star Wars movie and it’s available to stream (along with the rest of the saga).

CRITERION CHANNEL

Full list of everything coming to Criterion Channel in May can be found here.

*The Criterion Channel does things a little differently than every other streaming service. The Criterion Channel, a wonderful streaming service that focuses on independent, foreign, and under-appreciates movies, doesn’t just throw a bunch of random movies to stream. They get more creative, by having categories like “DOUBLE FEATURES” or “FILMS FROM…”, giving us curated lists of films that somehow blend together or feature a specific artist.*

DOUBLE FEATURES

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’:

The Limey (Steven Soderbergh, 1999)

Mulholland Drive (David Lynch, 2001)

A Soderbergh-Lynch double feature is always going to be great, but this one is going to be especially great because these two movies are some of the best work from these directing legends.

KNOCK OUT!:

The Harder They Fall (Mark Robson, 1956)

Raging Bull (Martin Scorsese, 1980)

Two movies that feature drama in and outside of the boxing ring. The Harder They Fall features Humphrey Bogart as an ex-sportswriter who is hired by a shady fight promoter to promote an unknown but easily exploitable boxer from Argentina. Raging Bull is a cinematic masterpiece and features Robert De Niro in, what this critic considers to be, the greatest acting performance ever on film.

JOSH AND BENNY SAFDIE’S ADVENTURES IN MOVIEGOING

Josh and Benny Safdie are the most exciting directing duo since the Coen Brothers, so having a curated list from them is something that needs to be taken seriously.

The Naked City (Jules Dassin, 1948)

In a Lonely Place (Nicholas Ray, 1950)

Camera Buff (Krzysztof Kieślowski, 1979)

Gloria (John Cassavetes, 1980)

Bless Their Little Hearts (Billy Woodberry, 1984)

Meantime (Mike Leigh, 1984)

Close-up (Abbas Kiarostami, 1990)

Hero (Stephen Frears, 1992)

The Mirror (Jafar Panahi, 1997)

SAUL BASS TURNS 100!

Saul Bass is responsible for some of the most iconic opening credits in cinematic history (ex: Psycho, Vertigo). This impressive list of great films features some of Bass’ finest work.

The Big Knife (Robert Aldrich, 1955)

The Man with the Golden Arm (Otto Preminger, 1955)

Around the World in 80 Days (Michael Anderson, 1956)

Storm Center (Daniel Taradash, 1956)

Bonjour Tristesse (Otto Preminger, 1958)

The Big Country (William Wyler, 1958)

Cowboy (Delmer Daves, 1958)

Anatomy of a Murder (Otto Preminger, 1959)

The Facts of Life (Melvin Frank, 1960)

Ocean’s 11 (Lewis Milestone, 1960)

Something Wild (Jack Garfein, 1961)

West Side Story (Robert Wise and Jerome Robbins, 1961)

Walk on the Wild Side (Edward Dmytryk, 1962)

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (Stanley Kramer, 1963)

Bunny Lake Is Missing (Otto Preminger, 1965)

Grand Prix (John Frankenheimer, 1966)

Seconds (John Frankenheimer, 1966)

Phase IV (Saul Bass, 1974)

The Human Factor (Otto Preminger, 1979)

The Age of Innocence (Martin Scorsese, 1993)

STARRING JACKIE CHAN

Jackie Chan is a martial arts legend and one of the greatest action stars to ever grace the silver screen. These films show Chan’s early work as an actor, as well as show off his chops as a director. This should be an absolute blast.

Half a Loaf of Kung Fu (Chen Chi-hwa, 1978)

Spiritual Kung Fu (Lo Wei, 1978)

The Fearless Hyena (Jackie Chan, 1979)

The Young Master (Jackie Chan, 1980)

Fearless Hyena 2, (Chan Chuen, 1983)

My Lucky Stars (Sammo Hung, 1985)

Police Story (Jackie Chan, 1985)

Police Story 2 (Jackie Chan, 1988)

Follow Kevflix on Twitter and Instagram, @kevflix, and on Facebook by searching Kevflix.

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allofbeercom · 7 years ago

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Why Halloween Is The Single Most Overrated Day Of The Year

Ah, Halloween—innovative costumes, chilling haunted house-inspired decor, and that crisp, cool weather we look forward to all year. Haaaa, I fucking wish. Idk if it’s the incessant articles about fall that I force my 59 followers friends to read or the pure rage I develop when my attempt at a slutty Poison Ivy costume somehow always ends up looking like Shrek, but what we think of Halloween actually only exists in places like Pinterest or borderline demonic Disney films. And yeah, it might sound like I’ve become a bitter bitch, but that’s only because I’m actually a bitter bitch.

Anyway, I’m not here to throw all my problems on you—my therapist frowned upon that. There’s a lot that goes into Halloween that never actually happens, and that’s honestly way too much work for an attempt at record-breaking Instagram likes on a night you probably won’t remember anyway. Thankfully, I’m here to let you down easy and tell you what to really expect come your boyfriend’s sister’s grand big’s monster bash, and why I think Halloween is the most overrated holiday (sorry, Satan, but I’m going to hell anyway). But if you’re one of those idiots who lives and breathes Halloween because you hate yourself so much that you have to be someone else to feel good, you can go shave your back now drown in your own bowl of Mini-Twix.

Actual convo we’ll have if you disagree with me:

Fall Weather

EXPECTATION: You’re already planning your pumpkin patch-inspired Instagram complete with that fall sweater from Nordstrom’s annual sale (BACK IN FUCKING JULY) that you’ve been harboring for like, seven years now. Once September hits, you’re about to rip the tags off your new leather boots, so you can eagerly mask your post-summer bloat in the cutest cozy fall attire, because you know what they say: boyfriends come and go, but leggings are forever.

REALITY: Don’t even get me started. Actually, never mind—I’ve already been triggered. I despise our garbage president for many reasons, but mostly because he’s apparently unaware of this thing called Global Warming that’s causing me to freeze my ass off, and then sweat my dick off all in the short amount of time it takes me to get to the bar after work on a Friday. Nothing tastes as good as baggy clothes make us feel, but no amount of likes on a fall OOTD pic is worth the buckets of boob sweat generated by this incessant heat stroke.

Halloween Decorations

EXPECTATION: This will be the year you finally give in and line your mantle with those annoying sticky webs that literally cling to everything you own. You’re so ready to go full Grandma Cromwell and deck the halls with boughs of horror—oh, and HELLO, stupidly over-priced adorbs accent pillows!

REALITY: You know when you take your headphones out of your bag after just putting them in 30 seconds ago and they’re in just as big of a clusterfuck as your life is? After going through the entire bag of web, congrats—you’ve successfully covered about three square feet of wall space in what looks like a heap of unrolled cotton balls. Stick a skull head on your table, and leave the decorating to your parents from now on.

Pumpkin Carving

EXPECTATION: Getting my friends together to do dumb activities no one cares about, like carving pumpkins, as an excuse to get shitfaced on a Wednesday is the one LinkedIn skill I pride myself in being endorsed on. The excitement of chugging pumpkin beer and watching throwbacks like while competing to see who can carve the best pumpkin without anyone asking “Wait, what is that?” is thrilling.

REALITY: Don’t get me wrong: pumpkin carving is the best—besides the part where you actually have to carve the pumpkin. It’s like painting a room: the movies make it look like it’s as exhilarating as sending a hoe-ish text at 2am, but in reality, it’s so much more than that. Three minutes into regretting trying to carve a Cheshire Cat, you’ll make the slightest wrong cut, only to knock a whole row of teeth out and fuck up the entire thing. Not only will you be stuck cleaning pumpkin goo off the table, but your jack-o-lantern will probably look like it just went on a 3-month alcohol bender and woke up with a half-opened eye and four teeth missing. Whatever, that’s why the devil invented alcohol.

Buying Candy

EXPECTATION: You hit up the Halloween aisle for the best and most frowned-upon candy and in the process, you even selflessly think to bag some up for your besties! Side note: when tf did tiny bags of candy become so expensive? Tbh, my friends aren’t that great.

REALITY: It apparently didn’t occur to you that you either live on the 27th floor of a city complex or a tiny dorm room, and that the only children you’ll probably see all day are the ones dressed in fugly ‘90s getup in the Dannon Yogurt commercial. You’ve gotta get rid of the candy somehow, so you decide to take one for the team and experiment with the Wonka Nerds and craft your own witches brew of flavored hangover vodka, but like, it could be worse… Also, you’re welcome for that million-dollar idea.

Making Your Costume

EXPECTATION: The absolute best part of Halloween is crafting up the most original, not-too-slutty-but-pretty-fucking-slutty costume. For once, you got ahead of the game and began the planning process even before October came around. And to top it all off, you found the perfect YouTube makeup tutorial you’re about to watch like, 12 times in order to get the perfect sexy zombie bride face. No really, this is about to be some next-level shit.

REALITY: Spoiler alert: It’s October 30th. You’ve achieved nothing but an overloaded Amazon shopping cart filled with items that are 100% guaranteed to overdraft your checking account. Your party is tomorrow night, so you should probably just try Sears. Lol JK, I’m your friend, remember? You knew this would happen again, so you should really just order the best effing costume you’ve ever worn from our Betches store (yeah it’s a plug, fucking prosecute me) to save yourself time, money, and a year’s worth of embarrassment when you think about showing up in last year’s bumble bee leotard.

The Halloween Party

EXPECTATION: The night has finally arrived. You and your friends are planning on getting inappropriately drunk before arriving to the party—for precautionary purposes, of course. You’ll be sipping on whatever the fuck is in that witches brew concoction, while yelling “OMG that’s so good!” to your friend’s unoriginal Khaleesi/possibly-also-Elsa-from-getup. You managed to get that one Instagram you’re about to fully dissect and edit when you’re alone later on, so yeah, life is good.

REALITY: You show up only to lay eyes half the party wearing your typical run-of-the-mill fuckboy Halloween staple: A white tee with some sort of dumb fucking saying like “Error 404: Costume Not Found” sharpied on it. Nobody told you that a “horror” theme was actually because of your ears bleeding from hearing “Monster Mash” play on repeat 87 times. Oh, and that witches brew? I’d steer clear unless you’re into the kind of thing that is chugging the leftover middle cup ingredients from King’s Cup. But it’s ok because if all else fails, there’s always some Freeform marathon to binge while also bingeing Snickers and tequila.

Happy haunting, witches.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/why-halloween-is-the-single-most-overrated-day-of-the-year/

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manychocolatefactories · 6 years ago

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About the bratty kids

The four bratty kids. Augustus Gloop, Violet Beauregarde, Veruca Salt and Mike Teavee. Each one will receive his or her own article, comparing the book, movie, opera and musical versions. It will be a description of the children in themselves and how they evolved, plus a comparison of their parents. I will also add some personal thoughts and twisted interpretations of mine to the whole thing, because whenever I study something I tend to go far into the dark and disturbing (for example, for me the song “More of him to love” is about incest. But that’s me and I’m twisted).

As a whole, how can we consider the bratty kids?

Well, they are the opposites of Charlie Bucket. Charlie is the good kid, the perfect boy, an example to follow. The others are counter-examples. They are the bratty kids, the embodiments of the bad habits of children. Caricatures, archetypes. However, this “archetype” nature makes them, in the original book, quite simple characters, not to say “blank”. A problem that was resolved in the adaptations by beefing up their personalities.

Another problem the story met was that these “bad habits” the kids embody ends up quickly being “outdated”, which is why the adaptations try each time to “modernize” the kids. It’s not so much of a problem than something that was expected. In the original book, the bratty kids were a reflection of the bad habits of their time, they were really timely character. As a result, each adaptation has to change them in order to reflect the new bad habits of the modern era. They are patterns, repeated infinitely.

However, their “blankness” is not just due to their simple role of personifications. It’s also because, when we look at it closely, they are in fact secondary characters, overshadowed by their own parents. That’s was one of the points of the original book: Roald Dahl wasn’t criticizing bad kids as much as bad parents. It’s something that was both kept and lost in the different adaptations: on one side, they kept giving more personality and flaws to the parents, on the other they also kept making the kids ruder and eviler, which often made the parents look like victim of their children’s nature rather than bad people who pushed their kids in a dark path).

The “blankness” of the original characters seems also to explain their growing villainy over the adaptations. Nowadays, these kids need to feel and be really bad, so that they deserve their punishment. People understood that with the 1971 movie: if the bratty kids are too simple, than the audience starts feeling sorry for them when they meet their demise, and some people even start seeing Willy Wonka as the true villain of the story.

It’s also interesting to see that Charlie is the opposite of each and every one of the kids. He is a poor boy, starving to death, but still kind and polite, confronted with spoiled rotten, gluttonous, rude kids and violent.

Another common point between the bratty kids is something that many adaptations decided to highlight: their lack of imagination and creativity. They have sterile, “dead” minds, corrupted by both their own flaws and the adult world. They have lost all form of innocence and imagination, traits that are the essence of Charlie. That’s why the bratty kids don’t have their place inside a land of wonders such as the Wonka Factory, and why they must… get out.

I think everyone agrees to the fact that the most important part of the bratty kids characters is their demise. It’s what we remember the most about them. Each one of them is, during the tour, presented with a temptation corresponding to their flaw. Sinners that they are, they, of course, succumb to it. First mistake. But then, they will have a warning, and be prohibited to go further, by Willy Wonka and by their own parents. However, the bratty kid will disobey and refuse to listen to the authority figure, and thus meet a dreadful demise, both a terrible punishment and an ironic humiliation. With a little song-poem as a bonus!

These demises leave them greatly changed. They now have the physical markings of their own faults, a reminder of how they failed at the test, and they get out of the factory with (hopefully) a lesson learned. However, in some versions like the 2013 musical and the 1971 film, we don’t actually know what happens to them after their demise. In fact, we don’t know if they even leave the factory at all… And that’s what lead to so many theories about how Willy Wonka was a cannibalistic serial killer using children as a secret ingredient for his candies. The other most common theory being that Wonka is a God/Devil figure punishing the little sinners to Hell.

But we could say that, given the first drafts of the book, Roald Dahl may have intended for the children to die, and was probably forced to make them live in order for his book to get published. (Yes, I’m looking at you Miranda Mary Piker).

Oh, and a last note before ending this part: IN THE ORIGINAL BOOK, THE KIDS DON’T HAVE ANY OFFICIAL NATIONALITY.

So Augustus isn’t canonically German. Nor is Veruca officially British, or Mike American. Remember that Veruca is Russian in the Broadway retool of the musical, while in the audiobook Mike is British. So I encourage you, you who want to make your own adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, to find new and unexpected personalities for each of the children.

#charlie and the chocolate factory #the bratty kids #study #analysis #augustus gloop #veruca salt #violet beauregarde #mike teavee #roald dahl #nationality

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