#((i'm mostly awake now
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Why can't we have a batman is the spirit of Gotham au?
He already is, in meta, in character, in theming. Him and the joker. He is so very built upon what Gotham is made of, and Gotham builds from what he needs in turn, the setting of his story.
What if that is the reason he can take damage that would permanently ruin a physical career and come back? What if that's how he's managed to maintain his no-kill streak to such an extent? What if that's how he manages to maintain such high maintenance and all consuming identities?
For the heart and soul of a city containing all extremes, the richest nobility and the lowest of the poor, the cruellest villains and the most compassionate heroes, orphaned children and ancient lineages, a city rooted in fear and madness and grit-teeth determination and hard won kindness, what better choice could you find than Bruce Wayne?
But what if he wasn't alone in that? What if Gotham has sunk to such a low because its spirit is damaged and corrupted?
For the heart and soul of the cruellest city in the dc universe, the most unrelenting and uncaring, the one that practically laughs at your pain and suffering as you try to make it through another day, what better choice than the Joker?
#Batman v joker is yin yang up down left right it's the oroborus#Like it's possibly one of the most famous arch enemies of modern day lmao#Something something what if there was an actual reason b couldn't kill joker?? Like if joker died it'd kill him too.#Unbalance the incredibly fragile equilibrium b has spent decades fighting for#Like those threatre masks. Love theatre mask symbolism. But the batman is the smiling one and the joker is the frowning one#Its apathy vs compassion. Someone made a really good post about it a while ago but I can't find it ToT#But yeah imagine if b found out about the whole city spirit thing and freaked out it until he found out it was him.#Like full on possessive trawls through research and 'no I'm fine' to everyone watching and lying awake fuming and then it's all fine#Except now he can have an existential crisis because he never realised lmao. Idk maybe the waynes were infertile and he was a surprise baby#Maybe there's no hint he wasn't entirely human until he had the option opened to him.#Like he just thought all his weirdnesses were just from one of the various things he never got official diagnoses for#Which he still is! Some things were just supernatural lol#The kids are laughing at him but they've got the Gotham spirit of the protection which is how they're all (mostly) still alive lmao#Batman#Bruce Wayne#Cryptid batman#Gotham spirit au#Fic idea#Story idea#Batfam#Batfamily#Dc comics#Gotham#Dc city spirits
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Melatonin
A FluffyNight drabble to celebrate reaching 50 followers on this account. It's pretty short & not beta read, but I think it's alright for being written in one sitting. Happy reading!
Beep! Beep! Beep! The sound of Ccino's alarm forced him awake, pulling him out of the pleasant dreams he had been having. Even now, Ccino could feel them slipping from his skull, leaving him wondering what exactly he had been dreaming about.
The continued beeping of his alarm pulled him from his thoughts & Ccino groaned, pushing his face into his pillow. Blindly reaching for it, Ccino attempted to turn it off without looking, knocking his hand against the other things on the nightstand before finally managing to push the button to silence it.
Blissful quiet filled the room as Ccino felt Nightmare shift next to him. Arms wrapped around him & pulled him close, holding Ccino close to Nightmare. Ccino smiled sleepily, turning on his side so he faced towards the other. He hummed quietly as he observed Nightmare looking back at him with a lidded socket, an annoyed expression on his face.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" Whispering so as to not ruin the atmosphere, Ccino questioned worriedly. Nightmare shook his head & moved slowly, readjusting them both until they were situated comfortably against each other.
Ccino smiled wider & closed his sockets, holding the other in his arms. Together in each other's arms, they both quietly drifted back to sleep.
Bonus scene!
A shrill beeping jolted them both back awake, causing Ccino to jump in Nightmare's arms. Grumbling to himself, he slowly sat up & reached over to the alarm, shutting it off.
Sitting up properly, Ccino stretched his arms above his head & groaned as he heard his joints pop, rubbing the bottom of his sockets with one hand. Picking up his phone & turning it on, his sockets widened in shock as he let out a loud, "Shoot!"
Scrambling & throwing the blanket off of himself, Ccino barely noticed as Nightmare sat up in alarm. "Is everything alright?" Ccino stammered out a reply, mild panic in his voice as he began changing out of his pajamas.
"Everything's fine! We just overslept a bit!" Relaxing slightly, Nightmare observed as Ccino got ready for the day, rushing around quickly so he wouldn't be later than he already was. If he concentrated, he could swear that he heard the meows of hungry cats impatiently calling for their breakfast.
Hastily walking over to Nightmare, having gotten dressed quickly, Ccino leaned over & placed a chaste kiss against his lovers cheek, smiling. "Love you, see you later!" With that he exited the room, leaving Nightmare sitting alone on the bed with only a warm imprint of where Ccino laid as company.
#i barely looked this over#i'm actually kind of proud how this turned out#i had a vague idea of where i wanted to start but not how it would go or when it would end#if you see any mistakes please let me know#i originally had ccino saying fuck but i think i read somewhere that he doesn't like explatives#so i ended up changing it to him saying shoot instead#this is inspired by the many times i have woken up only to realize i accidentally/purposefully turned off my alarm#which is why i now use multiple alarms & also have ccino doing so#we all love to sleep in but are never prepared for the consequences of our half awake actions#sorry if this doesn't make sense#i barely know what i'm doing while writing#it's mostly just me typing whatever comes to mind#onto the actual tags#fic rec#utmv#nightmare sans#ccino sans#nightmare x ccino#fluffynight#fluff#morning cuddles#personal writing#now i have to think about what i'll do for 100 followers#i'll probably let y'all decide again#mod sleepy
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If you've never heard an LRAD go off in person, I *genuinely* do not want to hear your opinion about methods of resistance in the US.
#i'm so fucking sick#wifey and i are pretty sure we got COVID so we've been isolating and trying to stay well#this is now at least my 2nd infection though#and you can tell too#wifey has been having trouble keeping me fed and hydrated and CONSCIOUS because I'm so tired I can barely function#this is despite sleeping for 12 hrs a day the past two days#and being fully medicated (or as fully medicated as I can be)#and on top of that my hypotension has been acting up severely since getting sick and I can barely walk 10ft b4 losing consciousness#i've haven't started throwing up my food and water yet but I've come pretty close especially early in the morning#anyway the point is that I am like. visibly being hit with an autoimmune aggravator not just a normal cold#and unfortunately#I'm taking it harder this time than the last#wifey is doing okay and mostly experienced it as a headcold with severe fatigue#she's pretty much better now a week or so out from starting to show symptoms#we....don't like when she gets hit that hard tho because it usually means I'm about to get bodied#pattern is holding so far regrettably lmao#anyway#my point is that I'm sick and angry and grieving and I really want to hit something or set it on fire#but i can't because i can barely move or even stay awake#and this is literally all my personal hell#as a result i am finding that I have a uhhhhhhhhhh unreasonably low threshhold for irritation recently
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anyways idk what is happening, maybe i'm just coming down with a bad flu or something, but i have been SO tired for no reason for several days now and today at work i also felt really ill. i drive around in a car about 6-7 hours a day at work these days and today i had to pull up two times on the side of the road because it felt like i was going to throw up. i didn't, it went away, but it was a close call.
#and yes i felt nauseous the whole damn day#i also developed a bad headache and it still hasn't gone away really#and i'm just so. fucking. tired.#after work i've really just been lying in bed mostly in this kind of a trance#not really asleep but not really fully awake either#i don't have enough energy for anything i usually even enjoy right now#ok i'll shut up now#just had to vent a bit#and now i'll head back to bed#i think i'll actually take a sleeping pill tonight maybe knocking myself out totally for a night will help some#personal
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*crawls out of the hole* I'm alive
#well I arranged a lot today took THREE trips to the ups got my storage mostly in order#went grocery shopping bc I was in dire need#and finally learned how to use my shower#and my sleep schedule is STILL fucked#I have to be up at 6am on Wednesday and I'm awake at 1. WELP#but I did get up early yesterday. I couldn't bear to today tho. I needed it#and I just finished reading the latest installment of the thrilling fanfic journey my captain is presenting to me#so I should sleep now. alas#cor.txt
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Hate how I didn't even think until now abt how zelda was alone as a dragon for so many years until the present. I wonder way too much abt how everything was for her and esp now as a dragon like mineru did say you lose yourself completely iirc but reg the tears shed do I believe it's not fully true. Maybe depends how strong your spirit is. Like yeah she can't really communicate well anymore but she recognizes us and her eyes. Her eyes I still can't get over them they're so full of emotion that's absolutely her eyes. Like. You're still inside that dragon when you become one if you try your best to remember is what I think (or want to believe). It's 5am I am not going to try to explain my already barely coherent thoughts better. Too much possibilities where I think some border on denial. I am a fluff not angst person. Anyways I wonder how long all those years felt what do you do as a dragon did the sages try talking to her dragon form or like anything-
#totk spoilers#rent free in my brain huh#I almost play 24h without pause hylia help me#(well minus for like. necessities like food)#still need to beat the story#I cannot believe I seriously considered her going through time or smth smth time power shenanigans#I completely forgot the sword needs a lot of time to get power. rip me.#I am not a fan of angst I like fluff stuff why is my brain just absolutely occupied with dragon zelda#mmmmaybe bc I suprisingly quick accepted it already. at least I can paraglide next to her and all#also maybe I forgot a lot that I read and know abt the timeline bc I think I wreck my head too much abt that too#I got the hyrule historia but like. how does botw tie in again. I think abt it too much it's just for fun damm it#I say since hours only this then bed and now it's 5am#I am awake since 7 and play since what 8? 9?#Absolutely insane how loz got me in a chokehold again but I lately don't even touch pokemas for daily missions#Obv in the back of my mind 24/7 but I feel so odd when pkmn in literally any regard isn't the thing that gets constantly#shaken around in my head with little focus for anything else#In other news I would die for penn and tauro is also neat wanna snatch his hairstyle#also zonai are one of the prettiest races ever. would love to be one or some of the zora ones#anyways all I got is 'I wonder if'#I like. barely talk abt such things it's such a new refreshing thing and I'm sorry I talk mostly for myself#(such things being speculations hc whatever I mostly just kept to myself bc my ex bff just did not care. yay.)#(so fuck if I know much abt fleshing out n all)#a wild lux appears
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Song of the Day: June 1
"Easy Come, Easy Go” by George Strait
#song of the day#I lost track of time even more than I already had and forgot to call an end to Friday#Friday was essentially the same day as Thursday is the thing. song would've been 'Crucible' by Sleigh Bells#same album and all#today-yesterday (Saturday) I slept a lot but in the weirdest chunks and when I was awake mostly I was still pretty out of it#I got to see more FFXIV stuff and hear a little from some friends I've really missed#it was lovely#uh I'm trying to think what else was yesterday-today#the garden work which is why George Strait is today's song#too fuzz-brained to remember anything fancy but there's a handful of songs I could sing drunk & upside-down at the end of the world#'Easy Come Easy Go' and 'Go On' and 'I'd Just As Soon Go' and 'If It's Gonna Rain' and 'If You Can Do Anything Else'#'I Can Still Make Cheyenne' and 'Amarillo By Morning' and 'Ocean Front Property in Arizona'#always love George Strait#I made more cheddar-dill bread! it just finished cooling so that was definitely today#it's a little over-sugared because I wasn't paying attention but still pretty good#I'll be out of dill after the next loaf (until my plants grow a bit more for me. lovely things) so I'm thinking onion & mushroom soup mixes#maybe without cheese? or just with parmesan maybe. I'll have to see#more than anything what I need to do tomorrow is answer all my messages#I haven't been all of me together with free time and internet much and all these notifications are going unread#I am eternally grateful for what patient friends I have <3#I'm going to sleep now and when I wake up maybe I'll have an entire brain again
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we are now awake way too late because we dissociated for a while after realising yesterday was the anniversary of a specific traumatic event, and then we had to make some phone calls to try and get an appointment because the symptoms we've got are apparently a lot more concerning than we realised and I left the most concerning ones out of the last post because they're kinda gross but like, I'm almost certain it's an ear infection because I don't know what the fuck else it could be, and unfortunately it's also in both fucking ears instead of just one
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I so desperately need things to calm down and for us to not keep having random unexpected medical issues like this#now I have to try and sleep like 5 hours after I meant to go to bed and unfortunately I'm wide awake from dealing with this shit#initially I was like ''welp this is ridiculous and mostly just feels absurd on top of everything else that's going on''#and then I described the symptoms properly to our mum and she was like ''oh my god call your doctor right now''#and then we eventually managed to get through to 111 because our GP didn't have any appointments#and we described our symptoms and the woman on the phone also sounded very concerned when I described some of it#so it started increasingly sinking in that okay yeah I guess that's worse than I realised if people keep reacting like that#I also described the problems we normally have with our ears that made it way harder to realise I should be concerned#and our mum was like ''oh my god that sounds awful''#so I guess now we have to re-evaluate some shit because it turns out the stuff that's normal for us is also more concerning than we realise
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Not sure why I wake up at 4.50 every morning but I'm sure as hell not complaining about all the gorgeous sunrises I would've missed otherwise
#4.30/5am is a recurring time#in winter it was mostly annoying#now i get to look at the sky#unfortunately it's hard to fall asleep again afterwards#and when i actually have to get up at 6.50/7.50 depending on my pre-work plans#i'm tired as heck#i would just stay awake if i could#but that's not an option with work running as late as it does sometimes#and me needing at least two hours to wind down on stressful days#(read: all of them recently)
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Various images of things
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. PIBBINS.... cheering clapping hooting hollering glorious applause everytime I see a pigeon in public#2. Birthday card that I drew for someone. .. kittys...#3. 2023's annual haul of tiny white pumpkins.. i get at least one white pumpkin every year around fall when they have pumpkins in stores#because I just love the color and texture ... bright white and smooth and cold and round.. kind of like a volleyball or something#4. A brief adventure into watching big brother (only earlier seasons of course as I hate all reality shows post like 2013 or something when#they became overly focused on social media and overproduced memeable phrases more.. like even though ALL reality shows have always#been extremely fake and annoying and mindless it's like..... newer stuff seems A Different Kind Of Fake or something) since whenever#I'm sick sometimes I find weird mindless things like that to watch (that one time I had bronchitis I watched all of Flavor of Love in my#half awake illness stupor and now everytime I heat up canned minestrone soup (mostly all I ate that week) I think of flavor flav since#thats just a weird brain connection I have now lol) ANYWAY.. I was sick and watched like 2 seasons of this and then thought it was too#uninteresting and obnoxious to continue (more like 1 and a half since I skipped the rest of one once only boring people were left) BUT this#one guy had a very mischevious looking face and he also said a few things (like the above captioned speech) that sounded like dialogue#some fantasy character would say.. so I took a screencap of him and edited him into a mischevious wizard i guess.?? idk I was sick lol#~your little friend has a poisoned tongue~ is just a very unexpectedly serious sounding wording for some random normal#frat dude looking guy to say while casually chatting on a reality tv show in like 2008 or whenever that was filmed lol#5. FLUFFY CLOVERS!! I'd never seen them be furry and soft before?? inchresting..#6. Noodle sitting in bed with the cat figurines looming above him... the council of kittys...#7. McDonald's full breakfast platter + asparagus + strawberries & cream (also of course this is old and I am now boycotting mcdonalds etc)#i try to group the images somewhat consistently like.. winter stuff with winter stuff or summer stuff with summer stuff#but I have so many random pictrues floating around on my computer that I never post that sometimes some are not organized or just#thrown into a set because there's nowhere else for them. Like the pigeon picture is from like 3 years ago for example lol#8 & 9 - I think I've posted these before but I just find them very interesting looking flowers. whenever they happen to be blooming#I'll pick up a few when I'm out on walks or etc. ... poof ball looking things#photo diary
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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just had a nightmare that included:
explosions
dead children
had to stand there and make sure the other kids wouldn't see the dead ones
kids being randomly selected for a tournament that involved torture, starvation and team sports. also the losing team of each game gets killed
I was one of the kids/players
some tried to run away and got shot
the ones that lost had to choose their coffins
my husband forgot our cats in a hospital overnight (no idea why they were there to begin with. also doesn't seem as scary in comparison but it was in the moment)
the cats were also running around outside during the scary sports stuff so I also had to worry about them getting lost
how are you supposed to start your day normally when all that has just happened.
#my least favourite side effect of the meds is how real my dreams feel now#like I've always had mostly nightmares. but now when I wake up it feels like all of that really just happened#and it's.... unsettling#like at least the first few hours I'm awake will be sort of ruined when it's as bad as this one#and this isn't even half of it. the rest is just too nonsensical to put into words. but most of it was worse#hate it 🙃#personal#tw violence#or something like that??#I feel like I should tag this but how
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why do i ever assume my family communicates i KNOW they don't why do i ALWAYS fall for this
#this is mostly /lh i promise just#my mother texted me yesterday about coming over Saturday not Sunday to watch go2#and asked if I'd be driving my sister over again (bc im practicing driving stick shift in my sister's car)#so i THOUGHT 'oh clearly she asked my sister too bc my sister ALSO sometimes works Saturdays!#and if she wanted to change the day we agreed on last week then SURLY she MUST have texted everyone who was part of the plan!!!'#i was wrong#i texted my sister to tell her 'hey call me when you're oyw so I'll wake up' and my sister. of course. DIDN'T KNOW#ABOUT THE DAY CHANGE#and she actually DOES work today (unlike me who does not which was my mom's og question)#so she CAN'T do it today#but my mom DIDN'T ASK HER#so now i texted my mom and am waiting for her to wake up and reply#bc our options are 1. hope it rains (bc my sister can't work in the rain so if it rains she gets off work)#or 2. everyone is going to be awake until 1-2am to watch the show bc it's 5-6hours long and we won't get there until like 6pm#or you know option 3. we just stick with the og plan of Sunday#but ill give my mom the options bc idc either way i have to be awake so night anyway#but everyone else watching Doesn't do they're opinions do matter here#anyway#I'm just so tired#this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME we make plans!!!#someone wants to make a change and asks one person and then that person assumes they also checked with everyone else#and they NEVER!!! DO!!!!!!#shh ac
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Good news: the mark's gone forever and I have a new semi-temporary tattoo. Also my soul actually took the change instead of immediately turning back to its 'save state'.
Bad news: I'm not sure what I expected from being digitized but my vague assumptions didn't originally involve that much screaming.
#Precursor to the tag rant: I'm mostly fine now and I'm not alone so don't worry too much.#It's different. From. Going to the astral plane.#My body disappears. I can see it disappear. I can feel it disappear.#And then it doesn't. Exist#My soul didnt exist#I didnt exist#just numbers in a box#I couldn't feel it. My soul. Any part of it. Any spark or nerve at all#couldnt breathe couldnt even try#i forgot where i was for a minute.#felt like somewhere else#apparently i wasn't supposed to be awake in there#..the AI helped but. It was. Hard to focus.#With my thoughts. Drifting. Like that.#Thankfully the alteration was. Really simple. Once I calmed down enough I got it done quickly.#And got. My soul back. Started to exist again.#I probably should've. Prepped better for this. Emotionally.#Or at least gone with someone.#Oof.#Still deeply grateful for the technology but of course I'm going to have the worst possible time with every otherwise cool thing.#And now I'm coping with cuddling in a nest. So it's mostly fine.#It's fine.#No Strings (ic)
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I got stung by a bee a few days ago and it doenst really hurt unless I try bending my toes now that the swelling is starting to go down (never had it this bad previously) but now I'm itchy 😖 it's maddening.
#personaljelly#it's why I'm still awake right now#this has reignited my detestment of bugs at least this one didn’t get in my shirt#I'm also blaming this for why I haven't started editing anything I got finished recently#but mostly I just don't feel like it
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Song of the Day: February 14
“The Cowboy Song” by Garth Brooks
#song of the day#had to look this one up--always do--to see who it's actually by#because in my head this (being literally titled just 'the Cowboy Song' does not help) is sung by my father#this is the soothing song. the sleeping song. deep voice says hush now song. sing it to spooked animals and fussy children. cowboy song#I am so tired babes. I'm so tired and my brain is failing me. can't sleep can't be awake missing messages losing track of time#it's near onto four pm I fell asleep at two-forty waiting for my three o'clock meeting had a stress dream about missing class. torture#(I did make it to my meeting no worries. my brain is failing me mostly on the inside)#anyway yesterday is definitely definitively done so here's the song#'pushin horns weren't easy like the movie said it was / and I don't recall no dancehall girls or hotel rooms with rugs'#soon as I start singing it my chest opens up my voice drops my breathing slows. soothing song. sleeping song. hear my dad again song
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