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iwannaholdyoutight- · 4 years ago

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Pintaga (a summer fic challenge)

Fresh fruit. Friends to lovers. Longing.

a/n: it’s finally here! This piece of writing couldn’t happen without the one and only @helladirections. She organized this amazing challenge and you guys should read everything from her and this challenge. Please, don’t forget to reblog, this is my first fic in a very long time and I would love to see people reading it.

word count: 8k

Preview:

In the air Harry could smell the jasmines, coming from the perfume of the girl with the blue heart shaped sunglasses and dressed with a yellow one piece with little white flowers sewed to it - a vintage piece she got just the day before on a thrift shop when they were exploring. He could listen to the faint Mick Jagger voice repeating the verse “pretty pretty girl” and he couldn’t disagree, she was a pretty girl indeed.

There was nothing he wanted more than get her in his arms, tell her he didn’t know it was possible to fall in love without even kissing the person for a first time. He wanted to press his nose into her neck and feel the shivers that would pass through her body.

When Harry had to postpone his tour, he was sad. But, when 2021 finally came, he was just so happy to be able to reconnect with his fans. To see people’s faces and knowing that each person has their own story to tell when they listen to his songs. He loves that.

It was during tour that he met Angelino, a new music producer with very different methods in his technique: zither in a mix with glam rock, alfaias with hip hop. To put it short: they became fast friends when they met on a night out after the Vegas show.

And it was thanks to Angelino he met her. It was raining so much when the words left his friends mouth “I want you to meet someone” yet she was the sunshine walking inside the hotel.

She wasn’t shy but also didn’t do everything to draw any attention to her. Harry was captivated to say at least. Maybe was her smile or maybe was the way she looked with such care when taking to anyone. Sadly, they couldn’t see each other for longer than a few hours. Harry had a plane to catch, she was a movie and arts major in Italy and was only there to visit a friend. But Harry just couldn’t let her go, there was something about her, he wanted to know what was hidden behind those colorful outfits she wore and all the smart talk they had during that same rainy afternoon. Being in his position he had to be careful, what he would give to be “normal” for just 5 minutes so he could flirt with this cute girl, get her number and maybe ask her on a date. But he wasn’t. So he settled with an Instagram follow and a promises she would dm him books and movies he should check it up.

The first book she made him read was Dorian Gray - she was shocked to know he never read anything by Oscar Wilde. In exchange he tried to make this curious stubborn girl give Murakami a second chance (she still hates the book and he couldn’t lie, he got a bit sad about it).

After a few months of conversation he finally gave in and asked for her number. From this day on, they would never stop texting each other, to the point Jeff would complain about how “he’s always on his phone and never actually listening”.

He got so close to her and was admired with how free she was. After 20 something years stuck in her hometown she decided she wanted to met the world. Entered this course in Italy with a scholarship (she is very smart to the point it Harry is intimidated) and never looked back.

Harry told her about his first big break up, that inspired Fine Line, told her about his fears and how love is a difficult subject when it comes to him. The loving part it’s easy the problem is when the enchantment dies and all there is left are two broken people. The one to move on first it’s always the happiest.

But he couldn’t always live on his phone talking to this girl who makes him weak in the knees. He had interviews to attend and shows to perform. When tour finally ended, he was tired but sad, a deep space in his heart felt so empty. It’s the first time in three years he didn’t have nothing planned and he was only starting his new album in a few months.

Harry needed a break, a nice holiday. Sadly London was cold and so was his emotions. So, when that same girl told him about this island called “Fernando de Noronha” around the South American continent and that her aunt got a house there and asked if he wanted to join her on 10 days trip there… he just couldn’t say no!

It’s summertime whenever she is around and well… it is summertime in the south so it’s a win win for Harry, honestly.

🐠

And that’s where Harry finds himself right now… bathing in the sun together with this amazing girl that makes him feel all mushy inside and nervous. He is almost a 30 year old man, he shouldn't be so nervous around her, but it’s inevitable.

The moment he got off the plane, he was in love. The island was beautiful. Blue skies that mix with the blue of the ocean and the horizon. Everything seemed to be made out of glitter and rainbow colors. There was music every night, people were singing and dancing. During the day there was street fairs, boat rides and the beautiful golden light that was didn’t come only from the sun, but also a light that shined through this amazing young woman when she was laughing and trying (and failing) to play volleyball with a group of teens on the beach. They didn’t stay in a fancy hotel, they were in a simple yet beautiful house, without any neighborhood but when they went out they always went to the simplest places, surrounded by simple people. People who might know who he was, but mostly just didn’t care. Sure, he was asked to take some pictures but that was the most normal he ever felt since he was a teenager. There was a rich part in the island, lots of famous people from South America liked to spend their summer there- but for one, Harry was grateful to stay like this.

All thanks to her...

The summer breeze in his face being exactly what he needed. He was living those sweet days of summer he was denied in 2020 because of the pandemic and in 2021 because of the tour.

He wanted to kiss her and keep her forever by his side so they could be happily ever after. But Harry couldn’t. He was bad at love and he would rather have her as a friend than doing something and fucking up her as well.

“What did you say” she asked while lifting up from the towel she had on the floor, raising her sunglasses over that beautiful sun kissed hair (it was shining so much) and attentively looking at him.

“I didn’t say a thing” was he thinking out loud? Oh my god… he is fucked if that was that case.

“You said something about being bad at love. Why do you think that?”

Harry sat down and took a deep breath.

“I talked to you about my love life before… I don’t think I was made for love. Some people can find love at every corner, but it doesn’t matter how hard I try, every time I think I got it right… the person just vanish out of the tips of my fingers. And I feel so bad talking about this when I know I can have anything I want, but it hurts when I’m alone in a bedroom or I’m being the third wheel again with my friends. I’m just so lonely all the time and every time I try… it just ends shitty. I get a few good songs out of it but the pain sometimes it’s just not worth it”.

She looked at the ocean, the sun was already so high in the sky, it was probably around 11 am. Then, looking back at Harry, she gave him a weak smile. She felt like he was a mixture of everything good and he didn't deserve to feel like he wasn’t cut for love. If she could and he let her… she would give him all the love it was possible and impossible.

“Just because it ended doesn’t mean it was bad. If it made you happy, even if just for one second, it was worth it. And even when it hurts, we always learn something.” She took a deep breath, waiting for him to say something while Harry just looked at her with soft eyes but so much sadness and sorrow behind them. He didn’t know what to say, so she decided to continue: “you know, I call it bullshit when poets say love is only good if it hurts. Love isn’t made for pain, sometimes it might happen, but love is made to give warmth and to make the soul feel like it’s being caressed in a whisper that says ‘you found me’. And there are many types of love, not all of them are made to last a lifetime”.

He gave her a smile:

“Do you think there is still someone to love me or have I missed my chance?”

That was her chance:

“I think if you look right… you will find it right next to you, so close it would surprise you” she gave him a knowing look and decided to change the subject “wanna put on some clothes and go to the street fair? We can have lunch in there, buy some nice fresh fruits and have a picnic when the sun starts to set. You can make a playlist while a set a nice towel with candles and everything we might need. Maybe… we could try some of that stuff I got yesterday, what do you say?”

That stuff being the Argyreia seeds a friend of her had given as a gift. They were in the fridge inside a pot of water - apparently you have to leave them at least 12 hours on it so it could be ready to use. Among the effects they found of Google you could suffer from synesthesia episodes, positive elevation of your humor, sensitive to touch among others. A normal (and legal, apparently) natural hallucinogen.

Harry decided to play cool with her confession (he thinks it was a confession) and just smirks at her as a confirmation for the rest of their day. Maybe then, he’ll have the courage to kiss her. He gets up first, offering his hand, she takes it, getting up. Being barefoot, she had to look up to talk to him, their hands intertwined, noses almost touching. Looking inside his eyes, she thinks Harry must be a magical being, that could be the only explanation to how his eyes could change color to match the nature. Normally green but right now his eyes were almost blue, maybe was the sun, maybe was the sky without a single cloud; one thing was clear: his eyes were matching the ocean and the sky but also the leaves on the palm trees with the green left in them.

Leading the way, they got inside the house. In a secluded area (you just had to walk a lot but it wasn’t in the middle of the fancy big mansions- the house was colorful - just like everything about this island). The wood backdoor was the way they go when coming back from the beach . As soon as they entered through the gate, was a little stone way, with red and pink poppies adorning both sides, they went to the shower the house had on the outside so none of them would make a mess inside the house with sand everywhere. Then, I sei de the house, walking through the open plan kitchen, that was out of a sixties movie. Almost everything looked vintage with the most beautiful dining table they had ever seen: made out of dark wood and tall chairs, her aunt said this table was from her great grandmother.

Then there was two little steps and it was the living room, with a lot of space, three couches and a lot of pieces of art, it looked like someone had just throw different items but, somehow made it work. Harry went to sit on a plastic chair there was right in the corner of the room and looked at the very wet very sunburnt girl:

“You can go get ready first, I’ll wait” she smiled and thanked him, going upstairs and leaving Harry alone with his thoughts. Looking at the yellow wall full of paintings from the people of the island, he didn’t know what to do to himself, he was fucked. He got up from the chair and went to the vinyl player that stood on the far left of the living room with three boxes next to it, opening he found a lot of vinyls. Settling for one he never heard before: Caetano Veloso - Transa, he put to play. He knew about Caetano, he even putted one of his songs to play at the one night only event, the name of the song was Baby and at the time was his ex girlfriend who had showed him, but right now the only thing he could think about when listening to this very psychedelic song that was playing through the speakers, the only thing he could think about is the same girl who is taking a shower just a few feet away and how much he wants the hours to pass faster so they can get high and listen to the playlist he was making and was to add also this album he was listening, especially after a quick google research about it, having now the acknowledge that transa translates to sex.

She came downstairs with her hair still wet, wearing her old pink converse and a yellow sundress, with the cute straps and a short but very loose ends. She had this glow someone can only achieve when you just spend the day at the beach with dear ones. Free of any makeup she was with his ray bans and gave him a soft look “I hope you don’t mind I got your ray bans to wear. They just look they were made for this outfit”.

“No problem. Give me ten minutes and I’ll be done”.

Taking the fastest shower he ever took in his life, he put on some old jeans short and his favorite pink summer shirt. And he ran - literally ran - downstairs because he felt like this was a date. He was excited.

“So, wanna take the bikes or see if we can get an Uber” there was this thing, neither one of them had the license required for the island and even if the Uber app worked there… it was hard to find drivers who were willing to drive to such a far area.

“Let’s take the bikes. They have baskets so whatever we buy we can just carry back”

“Sure”

They went through the front door, the house was painted in blue, to match the ocean, with lots of different plants and those same plants, especially the clambering plants, gave the house this almost fairy vibe. Like it was made of a golden and rainbow dust and everything that it’s good. The bikes were located near the wall and close to the small pool. One bike was white and the other was of a bright orange. Harry got the bright one because it was slightly bigger, so he would feel more comfortable.

🍓

They rode the bike for around 10 minutes, passing fields and trees that were so tall it almost felt like their leaves were kissing each other. Harry kept ruming gold and braid by stevie nicks the whole ride while dividing his attention between the girl riding the white bike a few meters ahead and the surrounding area. There was no one in sight for the first few minutes, but the closer they got to the center of the island, more people started to appear. In a few days living in the island he already observed that he could pinpoint who was a tourist and who was a native by one thing: the clothes.

The citizens always dressed like it was just a normal day (like imagine you normal day it’s living in paradise) and people from the outside always went out like it was a beach party everyday. As soon as Harry notice that, he always made sure to dress quite simple, so people could pass him by. Of course, sometimes someone would try and talk to him with the native language (which he learned is portuguese and not spanish, as he originally thought it would be).

They descarted their bikes on a small wall that was made for this purpose, with digital locks and everything (it was 5 bucks the hour and all you had to do when it was the time to pick it up you just put on your card to pay for the time you used the spot). They started to walk towards the street fair that was in a pretty street with old houses from the colonial era. The more they walked, closer their bodies touched and closer they were from holding hands.

People never talk about the conversation that goes when it comes to small touches. Sometimes, a small caress of a finger against someone's hand, it’s more than the act of touching, it’s an act of questioning: are we feeling the same? I wanna hold you hand like my soul it’s holding yours, please take care of it, because it’s your to take.

They started holding hands the moment the took a turn to the street fair, and if anyone looked at them, would say there were a couple. And it was nothing more that their entire wish that that statement was actually truth.

In the window of a red brick house there was an old man with his guitar, he sung something of their culture and a few people were dancing to it like it was a show. Harry was so in love with this environment, people lived and breathed culture. It was a break he never needed. He already went all around the world and it was on a simple island that he found something he didn’t know it existed.

“Where do you want to go first?” Asked the girl looking up at him and squirting her eyes because of the sun. She had his sunglasses but they were acting more like a headband to that mess it was her hair than to their actual function: protect her shining beautiful eyes from the sun.

“How about we go and buy those fruit for our late evening picnic and then we go have lunch? And from there we see where to go”.

“Seems like a plan, let’s find the vendor with the most variety of fruits, wanna taste them all” And I wanna taste you, thought Harry but he just accepted it wasn’t the time yet. He didn’t want their first kiss to be in the middle of a fair with so many eyes watching. Harry hasn’t been recognized too much but he couldn’t risk too much.

Walking they passed a group of old ladies - like maybe in their 80s- selling beautiful handmade dresses and skirts and shirts, all made in white lace. Such a beautiful work, and Harry made a mental note to come back later and get something for his mother and sister. That was something they would like.

Finally they reached a wooden table full of different fruits and behind it was an older and a younger man, if they had to guess, they would say there were grandfather and grandchild because of their faces similarities: dark skin with very powerful green eyes. While one had the blackest hair either one of them had see, the other one had silver strings in different parts of his hair. In their mouth they carried a soonting smille. They approached the table and the older one started to talk in the native language and he was speaking in such a enthusiastic manner that Harry didn’t have the heart to explain he new close to nothing about portuguese. But the young man seemed to have noticed who he was, touching the talking fella head and saying something in his ear. He stopped talking and was, now, quiet, but never ending the smile in his face.

“Sorry about that. My name is Sol. What can I do for you guys?” The girl beside Harry gave him this shining smile and started talking:

“Hi, Sol.That means Sun right?”

“Yeah, my family it’s a very hippie family. Actually I have two sisters: one it’s called Lua, her name translates to ‘moon’, and the other it’s called Frida. By the way,if it’s not too much problem Mr. Styles, I would like to get an autograph for them, they are big fans of you. And what about your name, sunshine?” asked the young man. Harry was jealous he was flirting with her - and he wasn’t entitled to feel jealous, but that’s what he was feeling - so he put his arms around her and told her name getting an angry yet amused look from her.

“And no problem about the autograph… we would like to take a bit of everything you can recommend us. We are going to do a picnic and want to try everything that it’s different”.

“But please add a bit of those gorgeous strawberries, they look yummy”said the girl next to him “ and what it’s that?” she pointed to a pink yet green round fruit.

“That is pink mango, very famous around this island. She is sweeter than the normal ones you found, actually there are over 24 different types of mango around the south territory, but right now we only have this one. But we’ll be getting more around monday morning if you guys are interest.” He gave them a time to think if they wanted to buy it or not.

“I love mango. Put 3 of these, please.” Harry said giving a genuine smile, everybody knows how much he loves fruit… among other stuff that could be fruit related. He saw a small fruit, that looked like a cherry but it had this red/orange to it’s tone and it wasn’t completely round, so he asked: “Sol, what is this type of cherry?”

“Oh that one? That it’s pitanga. This fruit smells like trees and something sweet that takes you back to your childhood, if you lived on this island” he laughed like he was remembering a distant memory inside of his green eyes but continued soon afterward his little journey through memory lane “My mother used to say this fruit it’s like when you fall in love at first sight: first comes the infatuation, the smell that reminds you there is so much good in the world and all of the good is all in one person. Then, when you first bite to it, first it has a sour taste, like when you get insecure about first kissing someone, but they, you get the courage and kisses them… and it’s amazing and sweet.”

Well Harry didn’t need more and said:

��Give me 12 strawberries, a few limes so we can make drinks, those mangos,a bit of that gelly that looks yummy, and half a pound of those pitangas”

“All done. That is going to be 25 and 75 cents” Both Harry and the girl tried to pay the guy, in the end, she ended up paying, earning a glare from Harry and looking at him like saying ‘what’. The boy returned with the change and the piece of paper for the autograph, Harry signed told him he would be back monday morning to get those other types of mangos and he could bring his sisters if he wanted to,he would gladly meet the girls.

They said their goodbyes and continued their walking, now holding hands without questioning.

“You know out of all those fruits the one I’m more excited to taste it’s this pitanga one” she told Harry.

“Me too”

He knew she was talking more than just the fruit.

And so was him.

With the sound of ocean and the winds in a mix with people chatter, they walked through the fair. Stopping for a quick lunch (some natural sandwiches with coconut water to wash it down) they looked around a vintage music store.

“It’s getting late, I wanna go back to the house if you don’t mind… get some sleep so I’m not tired when it’s time for our little luau” she said looking at him with tiresome eyes “oh maybe I’ll dress like a little witch!!!! So we can perform a little moon ritual”

That put a smile in Harry’s face.

“You know Stevie would actually love this”

“I can’t help getting a bit starstruck every time you mention Stevie Nicks”

“I get starstruck every time I remember that I’m actually her friend... it’s inevitable, she is a legend and an amazing human being”

They were walking and talking about Stevie Nicks and Harry was telling her all about the first time Stevie listened to Fine Line and by the time they got close to their bikes. Just like yesterday, Harry was ready to pay for their bikes parking lot but she was not having it. He was always paying for every little thing (the first time she got to pay anything was the fresh fruits just a few hours ago). So she looked at him when he was lost looking at the turquose sea and just ran away towards the bike.

She heard his scream- a soft loud HEY - and just when she was reaching for the bikes she felt two arms wrap around her waist and pull her out of the way. But they both lost their balance, falling towards the wall of bricks next to the bikes. Her head hit the wall a little bit to harshly makig her let out a low “oh” all that while he crushed her into the same wall.

Puting his hand in fits next to her face, Harry took his face off and lowered to be abble to look at the pretty girl in the eyes. He noticed she was standing on her toes to get closer to him, if he took a deep breath he could smell her perfume, a mix of peach and tangerine. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had never been as close to her as he were now. Harry was abble to see how beautiful eyes eyes were when the sun was high up in the sky and his face too close, he could see how her eyebrows had a thin yet natural draw or how her cupid bow were a little bit more colored than the rest of her lips. He could listen to the wind, bringing a message from the ocean: “it’s time to kiss her, you fool”.

He took her messy hair from her eyes, cradling her face in on hand while the other was kept on the wall, so he could have a sense of what was real. It was the perfect moment.

Or not.

Time simply wasn’t on Harry’s side, as he thought. Because someone started to yell at him in a language he couldn’t pinpoint the country, maybe Russia because of how pale was the old couple looked. They were point at the bikes and yelling at them, people were looking and she was blushing.

“I think they want to park their bikes and we’re on their way” she told him “maybe we should just go home.

🍄

The sun was now close to say it’s farewell for the day. While Harry was busy making a nice playlist (and also giving himself a talk: “you are going to kiss her tonight”. Maybe if started to say all the time like a mantra in would come true). She was making the perfect ambience for a beach party for two. Opening in the sand a round beach towel with lots of candles for when the only light in the sky was the moon and stars. The fruits all in pretty plates made out of wood and she also melted dark chocolate - it would look cool with the strawberries.

The sky was a mix of pretty colors: pink and purple and orange and everything that would make a perfect painting .

She was using this old seventies skirt from her mother (a tie dye skirt with all the colors of the rainbow) and a Stevie Nicks shirt she stole from Harry the night before to sleep. Her hair was falling from her face, dancing with the wind just as her skirt.

It was that moment that Harry made his appearance: his safe sex shirt, yellow shorts, barefoot, no rings. Smiling at her, she thought she looked like he looked like a prince out of every seventies groupies fantasies.

Harry was holding this old radio and in his hand there was a mixtape. Only Harry would come up with the idea of using this old radio that her aunt left at the house as a source for playlist making. Spotify playlist just wasn’t enough if he wanted impress her. In the words of his friend Rob Sheffield: “mixtapes are like pictures but with sound”.

And Harry was planing of making this evening a picture he would always remember with lovin’ care.

“Doesn’t he looks handsome” she walked towards him to help him with settled everything he brought down. If she wasn’t mistaken, he was blushing.

“The seeds are ready if we want to try it now” Harry said changing the subject.

“Let’s go. It takes half an hour to kick and till then we can talk some more”

The seeds didn’t have any taste, almost like any pill you wash down with water.

“Wanna eat one of those fresh fruits?” He said getting a piece of de the pitanga “quite anxious to try this one” he said getting one of the small pitanga fruits.

At first bite it was quite bitter, he was glad Sol had told him about that. But the more he ate, the sweater it got. It was something he couldn’t describe.

“So what do you think?” She asked.

“The explanation that Sol gave to us it’s the best one. It changes taste the more you get used to it. The same is with feelings, right?”

She smiled at him and opened her mouth: “give me some then….” He got one of the fruits and feed her. But he didn’t take his hands of her, leaving there so he could feel her neck veins move with her chewing.

“It’s so sweet in the end… almost like an orgasm”. Harry was fucked.

The time passed and they talked about anything and everything. The sun was almost all the way down as they looked over the horizon.

“So… is it starting to hit for you? ” she asked with a coy smile while getting herself more of the fruits.

He saw her red lips curve around the fruit and suddenly everything was changing colors. The world was red as the fruit she was (so deliciously) tasting. Red like the passion he was beginning to feel for this carefree girl. But she... she was golden. Her aura was just shining through her.

It’s no secret he falls in love with people with golden aura- Stevie has said so herself when he first showed her his second album - and she is shining so much he thought the sun had come down to earth.

Maybe she was the sun, even if it the stars were starting to take their place high in the sky, she was sunshine. His sunshine. It’s never night when she’s around.

“You know, it’s starting to hit”

“And how do you know that?”

“You’re golden”

She laughed at him

“Are you quoting to me a song you wrote about another woman, Styles?”

“No. It’s your aura. It’s shining. And is golden”

That left her with no answer.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Seeing anything?”

She could see the rainbow inside his eyes. She was always attached to everything that was colorful, from a young age. And right now there was this rainbow of lights playing with her vision. And it was all because of this beautiful young man standing right in front of her.

“Yeah, I think I can see everything” happy with her mysterious answer, she looked at the ocean. The waves were moving slow and in pretty rhythm, inviting her to dance together.

Today all of the nature was rooting for them. Getting another pitanga she could feel the sour before the sweet. Giving her body chills. She looked at him and those chills only got stronger but so was her bravery: “will you dance with me?” she asked.

“Well... of course young maiden I shall dance with you” he laughed at his own joke while getting up and offering his hand.

In that moment their worlds collided: their hand were glued together seeding all of different feels from one body to another. They didn’t need to talk to understand: there was a feeling of belonging neither of them never felt even if once they thought they did. This was a moment once in a lifetime: the moment you look at someone and you see them slightly different from one minute ago. When all of the puzzles pieces starts to make sense: what they were feeling from the moment they got on this island wasn’t only attraction it was months of friendship that intertwined them towards something stronger. Something they knew it was blooming inside their chest. Something new, something exciting.

Something beautiful.

He twirled her in his arms and then let her rest her head in his chest, right where his heart was beating so loud and fast, just for her.

“You know it feels like the world is almost too much right now” Harry heard her say “it seems like there are more sound than before, the ocean is actually a song ya comes together with your heartbeat and when you touch me it feels like there is a more to than just a simple touch, like it’s your souls that’s touching me, you know?” He starts to caress her right arm with the tip of his finger, he wanted her to feel more of whatever this she was describing. “Or maybe that’s just the seeds talking but it just feels like something I never had before”

God, she looked beautiful right now blushing with all the glitter around her and her lips red from all the fruits.

It’s time.

“I wanna taste those pitanga lips. Can I?” He asks while still caressing her arms with the tips of his fingers, getting her dizzy and seeing everything with light tones of pink, just like the shirt he wore to the street fair. She wants so much that in a moment of pure infatuation she raises her hand, feeling his chestnut curls, looking into his green eyes that looked almost a dark blue due to the lighting and finally she answered:

“Anytime. Everywhere. Anywhere”

He gave her a soft kind of fucked up smile, getting a good grasp of her hair and pulling her towards his mouth.

She spent so much of her time wondering how does Harry Styles kisses but nothing could get her ready to what she felt in that moment. His lips were a bit chapped because of the sun and the weather, they both were a bit clumsy because they couldn’t feel their faces but the soft touch of his tongue contrasting with tight grasp he had on her hair was making her body feel like it was part of the sand they were standing while he was the ocean, one doesn’t belong without the other, in a painting they would always be together and if that kiss was any indication... so would be their lives.

He gave her a small bite on the lips and laughed: “I’m so sorry, I can’t feel my lips” and she started to giggle because she couldn’t feel a lot, but she could feel him. All of him.

“I’m so glad we finally kissed” she said in a whisper. He looked inside of her eyes before putting his eyes right on her left cheek and flicking his eye lashes while she was having a fit with laughter... everything was too much in their state of mind. And this little touch made her feel like Harry has been tickling her soft skin for hours.

“If you’re so glad that we kissed... you wouldn’t mind if we kissed a bit more, right?” He said in a sensual whisper in her ear while giving little bites.

She pulled him by his hair in a hungry attack. Moaning into his mouth. Sucking his tongue. Smiling when they took small break.

They were standing, her on the tip of her toes, trying to reach him but Harry had other plans, whispering a small “come here” he took her by the waist and made her jump so he could walk back to the beach towel and sit down with her on his lap.

With Harry’s hips between her knees, that wasn’t a inch to separate them. All of their bodies were touching and each particle inside of them was screaming in delight. The feeling of having someone near when the mind is in such a state of inebriation was out of this world. It was paradise.

But maybe their state of mind is just a plus because Harry is pretty sure it could be 10 am on a Sunday and she would make him feel the same way he was feeling now: completely in bliss, in a hypnotic state of mind because of her pitanga lips and the warm energy. She was his sun, his warmth when they would feel could. A little piece of magic after so much pain in love. And Harry couldn’t deny anymore: he was falling.

She stopped kissing him and decided to give small kisses in his neck and every time he moaned she would increase the strength of this kiss.

Harry was quite literally seeing stars, but not only the ones in the sky. He was seeing the stars coming together in a show: each constellation was dancing on its own circle of star friends. And there were always changing color: pink, golden, red, silver.

They were dancing in a celebration because two stars that were meant to be were finally coming together as one.

That was the moment that Harry decided that he wanted more. He pulled her out of his neck and asked: “I love that you are wearing my old shirt but there is nothing more in this world that I would love more than being able to see you without it. Can I?”

Her response was clear: raising her hands above her hand, the - now- moonlight caressing her form when Harry took her shirt off. She was perfect, every little thing about her was just so her, from the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra to how she had this little moon necklace and a little citrine stone resting right on her heart.

He didn’t want to lose more time, he started to give little pecks on her nipples and when Harry heard a moan and a whisper saying “finally” he just went ahead and took the everything he could from her chest inside his mouth while his hand was playing with her right breast and his other hand was supporting her back so she wouldn’t fall off his lap.

She was seeing stars, she could feel everything and anything. His mouth was powerful, like he knew all the buttons to push and that was only the beginning. Moving her hips in circle movements she started to moan more loudly. Using one hand to pull his hair and grinding faster on his growing dick and finally earning a full on moan from her she took his head of her chest and said “I need you, please take off your clothes”

She didn’t have to say more. After this they disrobed so fast they didn’t knew they were able. Now, completely naked, she looked at Harry with a mischievous look and went back to his lap, but before she could do anymore than that, Harry stopped her, using his force to manhandle her body to a lay down position “I promise you that I will be inside you in a moment, but first, I need to taste you, I need to hear your moans and know that’s all because of me, all because of my tongue”

She lost her power to speak but she was pretty sure she kind of screamed “yes” without intending to.

Harry spread her open and looked at the mess that was between her legs. He did loved tasting the pitanga. But he was pretty sure that nothing would compare to the taste of her.

He took his finger and started to pass lightly through the inside of her right thigh and she was trembling already “this seeds are making me more sensible fuck” he heard whisper. Smirking he answered her: “oh so this is all the seeds and not me? Pet, you are breaking my heart now”.

In a revenge he took the same finger that was caressing her thigh and passed from her opening to her clit without any warning.

“Fuck fuck FUCK please just touch me already. My whole body is burning in flames all I can see is a burning flame” he decided to end her suffering. Taking his thumb and lazily caressing her clit in slow but strong circles.

“Are you happy now, Pet”

“Yes but please, give me more”

In a responde Harry took his tongue and licked her right on her clit and started to use the tip of his finger to tease her entrance.

Her moans started to get louder and Harry didn’t have a care anymore, just her taste. That’s the only thing that matters.

While his lips were sucking and licking her clit his finger were working inside of her. When he wanted to change he would put his finger in her clit and would go to her pretty hole and use his tongue to tease her.

Every time he saw she was getting closer to her orgasm, he would stop what he was doing and would just use the tip of his finger to tease her while he kissed her thigh. When her breathing was back to a more concentrated peace he would get back to give her everything he could with his tongue and finger.

And that went on for a while: lips, tongue, fingers. Saw her getting close? Stopped for a while.

When he was doing the pattern for the third time she signed: “I need to come, please let me come?”

Harry wasn’t doing this to be mean, he just wanted to be the only thing she could feel and see. Wanted this to be so good she would never want to be away from him again. And when he saw her trembling lips and eyes full of tear he new she has enough, so he moved his finger in a “come here” motion while she was wetting and wetting more and more his hand, dripping down to the towel and her screams were so loud that if there was a single soul in the almost private beach, he was sure they could listen.

When she was done he took his finger off of her linking each one of them while patiently waiting so she could get back to her state of mind and tell him what she wanted next.

“Hey, there is a condom in the fruit basket” she said

“You dirty little thing, were you planning all of this?” Harry said taking the condom and opening carefully.

“No but I had my hopes up”

She looked so perfect with the sweat on her body dancing around the moonlight, he smiled and asked sweetly: “how do you want me?”

“I want you on top, want to be able to look inside your eyes” He wanted that, too.

“Your wish is my command” whispered Harry while settling on top of her. He stroked her face with one arm supported beside her hand. “Are you ready for me” She nodded with starry eyes and asked:

“And you, are you ready for me?”

Harry guided himself inside her, getting his mouth closer to her left ear and whispered like it was a secret and she was the only one who had the right to hear: “I have been ready for you my whole life” and then he was inside of her. While she was breathing hard, he was whispering sweet nothing in her ear, trying to calm himself, he wanted this to last.

“You can move, you know” that was all Harry needed to start to pick up his pace, making sure every time he came closer to her his pubic bone would caress her clit. She was whimpering and he was completely hers.

He picked her leg up on his shoulder and said: “I need…. fuck…. I need to get closer to you”. She was feeling all of him stretching her a little bit more every time he pushed himself inside of her. Hitting her g spot so perfectly she was seeing stars - and this time was all because of him, not the seeds.

Her body was on fire and the delicious warmth was starting to form in the pit of her stomach. She was going to come again, and she was going to come hard.

“Come on, baby. I can feel you squeezing me so hard. I know you wanna come. I need to feel it” Harry said, his movements becoming each time more out of rhythm, chasing his own peak.

Bringing his hand to her clit, it was only three flicks of his fingers till she was shaking and her eyes were closing. Her mouth forming a delicious smile, one full of satisfaction. And it was watching her come that Harry felt his need to come as well. Closing his eyes and feeling his whole body shake with release.

The only thing surrounding Harry was her. Her name. Her smell. The feeling of her. Everything was her.

When their breathing was back to a normal rhythm and the moon and stars were high in sky, Harry looked over her naked body laid down on all the towels, surrounded by fruits and golden from the candle lights. He was starting to sober up and there was so much he wanted to tell her, but he settled for one single sentence:

“You are a wonderful creation” he told her.

“Look at you quoting Dorian Gray to me!” She said smiling lightly “Do you remember that was the first dm I ever sent you? Telling you to read that book.”

“Of course I remember. I remember everything you ever said to me” he started laughing with the memory “you know, after that message I went running to the closest book store? I wanted to do anything to have a reason to talk to you, even if it was just a dm. I wanted you to think of me all the time, because since that moment I saw you on that raining afternoon my heart started to beat in synchrony with yours” now it’s time to say everything, before it’s too late “you know I’m falling for you right?”

She looked at him like he was the brightest star in the night.

“I know, I’m falling in love with you too” she told him while laying her her on his chest and started to trace the butterfly tattoo “And now?”

“Now I think I have a new song about another fruit to write”. They both started to smile, sealing the deal. She got another pitanga and popped into her mouth and he smiled. He was happy.

#harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles smut #harry x reader #harry styles friends to lovers #summer fic challenge

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theladyofdeath · 4 years ago

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In the Bleak Midwinter {1}

A Throne of Glass Period AU: 1920s.

Summary: 2 years after Arobynn Hammel is killed by Rowan Whitethorn, Maeve has returned from Eyllwe with a vengeance. Meanwhile, Rowan is getting married, Lorcan is a father, and Lysandra is finally ready to give her heart away. There’s been peace in The Cadre’s Orynth for 2 years, but peace never lasts.

A/N: At last! Enjoy the tragedy that is about to unfold...

All characters belong to SJM. I am no more than a fan with a plot.

**Warning: mature content - language, alcohol use, drug use, sex, murders and shit.

Links & masterlists:

Fanfic Masterlist

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The Cadre - 1920s AU {TOG}

In the Bleak Midwinter {The Cadre, Part 2}

2 years later…

The wedding had been a peaceful event. Small, just family and close friends. The ceremony was held in a beautiful chapel with stained-glass windows and pews sturdy enough to last the last century. Rowan had waited at the end of the aisle while his bride was escorted to him by her father.

Aelin was beautiful.

They’d had a hard time planning the perfect wedding- mostly when it came to the guest list. But at last, two years later, they had come to a plan that they agreed on, and all was well.

Well enough, anyway.

Business, both legal and not, had skyrocketed in the past two years. Rowan and Aelin now lived in a massive house just outside of the city. They got a dog, per Aelin’s request, even though Rowan had never been one for pets. Fleetfoot seemed good enough, though. At least she never chewed anything up or shit on the carpet.

As for their enemies, there had only been little squabbles over the past couple years. After Arobynn’s death, the entirety of Orynth belonged to the Cadre, with no doubt from the citizens within. Everywhere Rowan went, people knew his name, knew his reputation, knew who he was and what he did. Not that anyone could prove it. Any of it. The cops still stayed off his back, although he owed a lot of that to those in uniform that he paid to keep quiet.

He had only recently received news from an enemy that caused true concern, but he had kept it to himself. He wanted to keep the peace...if only for a little while longer.

It had been a while since Rowan had seen his new wife, he realized, after they had returned to their home for a reception to celebrate their marriage. People were everywhere, and his men were on guard around the room - socializing, drinking, but staying alert, per his request. Rowan’s eyes scanned the room as he made his way to the far wall and up the grand staircase and down the hall, to where the master bedroom sat behind a closed set of thick double doors.

He pushed the door open and found Aelin sitting in front of her vanity, fixing her lipstick. Rowan closed the doors and leaned back against them, arms crossed, as he watched.

Aelin met his gaze through her reflection in the mirror.

When she said nothing, Rowan sighed, “Must I ask why you’re up here instead of floating through the ballroom like the social butterfly that you are?”

Aelin rolled her eyes. “Needed a moment.”

Rowan reeled in the urge to roll his eyes, too. “I know you, Aelin. So please tell me what’s really going on instead of tiptoeing around the issue, for the gods sake.”

Aelin slowly set down her pale, pink lipstick and straightened her back. “I feel you regret marrying me.”

Rowan blinked, shoulders tensing. “We just fucking said our vows an hour ago, what the hell are you talking about?”

He knew he should approach the subject with caution, and as Aelin’s eyes grew misty, he knew he had to do some damage control - and fast.

After pushing himself off of the doors, he approached his new wife and knelt before her, resting his hands on her knees as she sat before him on the vanity’s golden stool.

But before he could speak, Aelin said, “You’ve been acting strange lately, Ro, don’t think that I haven’t noticed. I thought you were simply nervous for the wedding, for being in front of all of those people at the ceremony, considering you have to be vulnerable in stating your vows, and let’s be honest, vulnerability isn’t your strong suit.” Rowan snorted, but Aelin went on, “But, now I’m not so sure. I fear you will grow to regret me, regret us, and it has already begun.”

Rowan sighed, closing his eyes for a moment to collect his emotions. Yelling at her, telling her how ridiculous she sounded, would not help matters, not at all.

Once he opened his eyes, he said, simply, “It’s just your hormones, that’s all.”

Aelin’s eyes had dried and were replaced with hellfire.

Nope, not the right thing to say, at all.

“I just mean,” Rowan said, quickly, placing his hands lovingly over Aelin’s stomach, “that...well….you’re….a little more emotional lately, you know?”

“Fuck off,” she muttered, pushing his hands away. “You blame everything on my hormones. Tell me that one more fucking time, Rowan Whitethorn, and I’m cutting your balls off in your sleep.”

Rowan blinked, as Aelin stood and walked to the other side of the room. She threw open the wardrobe and shuffled through it, even though she wouldn’t be changing her clothes.

“Are we really going to fight on our wedding day?” Rowan asked, standing to his feet. “We have a house full of guests downstairs, Aelin.”

“I don’t care,” she snapped.

“You are such a pain in the ass,” Rowan mumbled.

“Yeah, I am. And you’re a jackass.” She kept her back to him. “I demand to know what’s going on, Rowan.”

He opened his mouth for a snappy retort, but quickly shut it. It wasn’t worth the argument. Not today.

“It’s not you, okay?” Rowan said, sighing, running his hands down his face. “I don’t regret you, Aelin, and honestly, I don’t know how you could even think such a fucking stupid thing. Alright? I love you. I put a fucking kid inside of you. And I love that thing, too.”

Aelin paused her rummaging through the wardrobe and turned around, slowly. “Could you please not refer to our child as a fucking kid or that thing?”

Rowan’s eyes closed. “You’re asking a lot of me here, A.”

They had yet to tell anyone that Aelin was expecting. It was still early and she had yet to noticeably show.

Her heels clicked across the hardwood floor, and when Rowan opened his eyes, she was standing in front of him, gold-rimmed eyes still filled with worry. “What’s going on, Ro?”

He sucked in his bottom lip and turned away but Aelin took his chin and forced him to meet her gaze, once more.

“It’s business,” he said, at last.

“That’s not an answer.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Not a good enough one,” she protested.

“Let’s go back downstairs and enjoy the day,” Rowan said, “and later tonight, I’ll fill you in.”

Aelin stared at him for a moment. “It’s just business?”

“It’s just business,” he promised, and took her face into his hands as he kissed her, softly.

Aelin chuckled as she reached up to wipe away the lipstick that had transferred to his lips from hers. “Okay,” she breathed. “Fine. But tell your band of dipshits that they better keep themselves in line tonight. Lysandra says that Fenrys plans to start a fighting ring out back by the end of the night, and if he does that, I will personally kill him myself.”

“Alright,” Rowan muttered, although Lysandra had told him that, too, and he had thought nothing of it. “I’ll take care of it.”

~~~~~

Gavriel was nearly the last one to make it into the kitchen. The others were there, all who was missing was Rowan himself, who had announced that there would be a meeting in five minutes and if any of them were missing he’d have their balls.

Gavriel leaned back against the wall between Aedion and Vaughan, who offered him a cigarette. Fenrys and Connall were there, too, sitting on the counter top. And then there was Lorcan, nearly about to fall asleep where he stood. Apparently the little one was going through an “I don’t want to sleep” phase - again. Chaol, Dorian, and Ren were talking about something amongst themselves. From what Gavriel could gather, it had something to do with a woman. Judging by the annoyed look in his eyes and the pink tips of his ears, Gavriel assumed that they were trying to set Ren up with one of the guests upstairs.

After the uniting of Rowan and Aelin, Rhoe and his men became secondary members of the Cadre. They were all family now, after all - at least, that’s what they were told.

By the time Rowan padded down the stairs and into the kitchen, dodging busy waiters as they carried appetizers and champagne upstairs, the room was filled with smoke.

Rowan didn’t say a word as he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit the tip. He took a long drag before he said, “Today is my wedding day. Which means that it’s an important day for my wife, and since it’s such an important day for my wife, I expect none of you will do anything to ruin it. In short, if you think it will embarrass Aelin, don’t do it.” He stood in the middle of them all, slowly turning, making sure to meet each of their gazes. He stopped when he faced Fenrys. “No fucking fighting.” He pointed from Fenrys, to Connall. “No fucking fighting.”

The twins held their hands up in surrender, as if they had no idea what Rowan was talking about. Beside Gavriel, Vaughan snorted.

“No fighting. No snow, no drugs,” Rowan went on, emphasizing the word drugs as he looked at Chaol, Dorian, and Ren. “No fucking in public places, gods, no one wants to see that, if you’re taking a woman, please do it upstairs, in one of the guest rooms and lock the fucking door. We don’t need a repeat of...well, any of the times we’ve caught Dorian and Manon in one of their many compromising positions.” Dorian just grinned as Rowan added, “And try not to get shitfaced. Please. Have a drink, but keep your fucking wits.”

“I know you said no drugs,” Fenrys said, raising his hand like he was a fucking schoolboy. “But Lor really looks like he could use a pick-me-up right about now.”

Rowan turned around to find Lorcan, eyes closed, breathing even, as he leaned up against the wall. He slowly walked toward the tall, broad-framed male, and patted his cheek with a little too much force.

Lorcan’s eyes shot open, exhaustion lingering in those onyx eyes. “Hmm?”

“Are you listening?” Rowan asked, cigarette between his teeth.

Lorcan yawned, and nodded. “Yeah. No-No fucking fighting.”

“Right,” Rowan confirmed, then turned around to the rest of them. “No. Fucking. Fighting!”

Rowan turned to leave, cigarette between his teeth. A waiter came around the corner and bumped into Rowan’s shoulder. Gavriel shook his head as Rowan shoved the waiter out of the way and headed out of sight.

“He seems tense,�� Aedion muttered.

“He’s always tense,” Gavriel agreed. “Get a few drinks in him. He’ll be fine.”

“Get a few drinks in him then he’ll be the first one fighting,” Connall grinned.

Vaughan chuckled.

“When’s an appropriate time to leave?” Lorcan asked. “I need sleep.”

“How come you’re so exhausted?” Gavriel asked. “Your wife is upstairs floating around the room like a woman on a mission.”

“That’s because all we’ve seen since the baby’s been born is you miserable lot,” Lorcan muttered. “She’s excited to be around other people, pleasant people.”

Gavriel laughed as he followed Aedion out of the kitchen and up the servant’s stairs. Things had been going well between the two of them in the two years that had passed. They met for drinks once a week, but often ran into each other and talked for a while in the days in between.

“Plan to stay for a while?” Aedion asked, walking beside his father.

“I don’t have a choice,” Gavriel said. “Especially if Fen and Connall are going to fight, which they are, no matter what Rowan says. By the end of the night, they’ll be taking bets.”

Aedion laughed, quietly. “Sounds right.”

They fell into the ballroom, at last, and Gavriel watched Aedion’s eyes light up when he spotted Lysandra on the opposite side.

“Go,” Gavriel encouraged, when it was obvious Aedion wanted to walk away.

He never asked how it was going between the two of them, never wanted to push. He knew that the young couple was in love, but that Lysandra’s past still weighed on her heavily.

Because of that, it seemed like the two simply remained friends.

As much as two people could be friends when they’re in love with one another, anyway.

Gavriel couldn’t help but watch as Aedion asked Lysandra for her hand and led her onto the dancefloor. He spun her around, joy lighting up his eyes as Lysandra tilted her head back and laughed.

Then Rowan and Aelin entered the crowd, that little smile that Rowan reserved just for his bride plastered on his face. He deserved it, after all the kid had endured. Although Gavriel supposed Rowan was not a kid, not anymore.

He hadn’t been for a long while.

At least he had Aelin to make him happy.

Gavriel had noticed his shift in the recent weeks, though. He was more tense, more anxious. Something was happening, but Gavriel wasn’t sure what - none of them were.

And Gavriel knew better than to pressure him about it.

~~~~~

“I can’t believe you made me leave in the middle of dancing.”

Lorcan sighed. It was the fifth time Elide had said that on their drive home. In reality, Lorcan didn’t make her do anything. She had found him sleeping with a glass of whiskey in his hand at a table in the corner and asked if he needed to go home.

He mumbled a yes, and they were off.

Of course, now he was the bad guy.

“Blame your daughter,” Lorcan said, opening the front door. “She’s the one that doesn’t let me sleep.”

Elide shut the door behind them and locked it. The nanny was sitting in the den, sipping from a glass of vodka. Lorcan and the nanny had a love/hate relationship. She spoke a language that Lorcan didn’t understand, but everything she said to him was laced with anger. Elide was fluent, though, and communicated easily with Natalia, who obviously liked Elide a lot more than Lorcan.

He couldn’t complain, though. Any nanny who came to work for him and never asked questions was one he had to hold onto.

Even if she did constantly watch Lorcan with those narrowed, angry green eyes.

Elide asked Natalia a question, and she replied but the only word Lorcan knew was Lucielle.

He thudded up the stairs, Elide close behind him.

“I assume Lucy was good?” Lorcan murmured.

“Yes,” Elide confirmed, “and Natalia says your tie is silly.”

Lorcan looked down at his tie with a frown. “I like this tie. Cranky old woman.”

She pinched his ass with a quiet giggle. “I know.”

They both made their way into the nursery to check on their one year old. She was sound asleep in her crib, her black, curly hair wild atop her white sheets. Lorcan snorted, shaking his head.

“Goodnight, my love,” he whispered, brushing that hair back from her forehead, careful not to wake her.

“Come on,” Elide whispered. “Let her sleep.”

They left the nursery and stumbled down the hall into the master bedroom. Elide shut the door as Lorcan crashed onto their bed.

“Goodnight,” he mumbled.

“That’s all I get?” Elide crooned. “I thought we could work on baby number two tonight.”

Lorcan barked a laugh as he put his hands behind his head. Elide started unlacing his boots. “You want two kids waking us up at the crack of dawn?”

“Why not?” Elide asked, taking off his socks before crawling on top of his body and straddling his waist.

“Lucy is perfect,” Lorcan mumbled, his hands finding her thighs and lifting up the hem of her skirt so that his fingers could brush her warm skin, just above the garters. “But give me another year before we are blessed with another...angel.”

Elide laughed breathlessly as she leaned down and pressed her lips against her husband’s. “Very well.”

Lorcan yawned. “Fuck me, though. I’ll pull out. Maybe.”

Elide snorted. “How romantic.”

“I’m incredibly romantic,” Lorcan agreed, closing his eyes.

Elide started undoing his belt, but by the time she had his trousers unbuttoned, he was already snoring.

~~~~~

Rowan had left Aelin with the guests that remained, the dancing still going strong, as he snuck out of the back of the house.

Against his wishes, two grown men were fighting near the stables, Fenrys and Connall taking bets. Gavriel and Vaughan both looked curiously at Rowan as he approached.

“Couldn’t stay away?” Gavriel asked.

Rowan pulled the cigarette out from between his teeth. “They don’t listen, do they.”

Vaughan just shook his head.

“Leave them be,” Rowan said, looking away. “I need you two to come with me. Now.”

No one asked questions.

They loaded up into the car and drove to the edge of town, where the old railroad tracks ended.

Vaughan began to slow down as they approached, upon seeing the black car that sat by the tracks, the lights off.

“What’s going on?” Gavriel asked, quietly.

“Pretend like you already know,” Rowan said, tossing his cigarette onto the gravel as Vaughan put the car in park. Rowan got out, Vaughan and Gavriel at his back. They stood in the middle of the two cars and, a moment later, the car closest to the tracks opened and a tall, broad-shouldered man stepped out in a long, black coat and a neat fedora.

Rowan stilled. “Who the fuck are you?”

The man said nothing. He couldn’t have been much older than Rowan, but the look in his blue eyes was unsettling. He recognized him from somewhere, but Rowan couldn’t place him.

Without a word, the man held up a sealed envelope.

“Not going to talk?” Rowan asked, blinking. “Makes you look shady.”

The man didn’t budge.

He simply held the letter out.

“Very well,” Rowan sighed. He nodded to Vaughan, who stepped forward and snatched the letter out of the man’s hand.

Without another word, the man fell back into the backseat of the car, and they sped off.

Once they were out of sight, Gavriel turned to Rowan. “Is this where we get an explanation?”

Rowan took the envelope from Vaughan and lit a match after breaking the seal and pulling out the letter. He read over it in the ignited light, the other two watching him quietly, curiously.

“Fuck,” he muttered, then lit the corner of the letter and watched it go up in flames.

“Rowan,” Gavriel growled, neither he nor Vaughan moved from their spots as Rowan turned to get back into the car.

Rowan stopped and sighed as he turned to meet his friends, his family, his Cadre. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he said, “Maeve is back.” Rowan shrugged, turning his back to them to finish the distance to the car. “And she’s pissed.”

He loaded himself into the driver’s seat as Vaughan and Gavriel looked down at the letter on the ground, where the black hand was burning into nothingness and floating away in the night.

~~~~~~

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#tog #throne of glass #period au #1920s au #rowaelin #elorcan #lysaedion #sjm #fanfic #fanfiction #au #tacmc ITBMW

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knittingdreams · 4 years ago

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Fireheart - Chapter 10

No amount of coffee will wake up my brain, so, hey, here’s chapter 10 from my ToG fanfic, hope you enjoy it, love you all!

MASTERLIST in case you need to catch up on older chapters :D

CHAPTER 10

Finding clues

Parking the motorbike around the back, Celaena jumped down and straightened her jacket. She had such mixed feelings about what had happened the day before. One part of her had almost enjoyed watching Sam get beaten up, as she was still angry with him for showing up in the hotel as he did on Saturday. But soon after the second punch, it had been so hard not to jump in and beat the shit out of that Rourke guy. She knew Sam could have beaten him up into a pulp, but that would have drawn unwanted attention. She could have done the same, but it wasn’t a smart option.

She had been angry at Sam, but no amount of anger was an excuse for the way that guy had beaten him up. She almost felt sorry for him now, and couldn’t stop thinking about why Sam hadn't even attempted to defend himself. He could have deflected a punch or two, and it would have seemed more natural than him not doing anything at all.

As she exited the lift onto the third floor of the hospital, she released her breath loudly. He was going to hear a piece of her mind, Sam had been so stupid, and now the competition was probably endangered too. Arobynn had been furious when Celaena had gone to the mansion the night before and explained why Sam wouldn’t be there that night. He had tried to play it cool, but Celaena knew Arobynn was having second thoughts about the whole school situation.

She needed answers, and she needed them fast. She had looked through Dorian’s computer files not finding anything relevant; so she had decided she needed to get inside Aedion’s house as well as the penthouse of the hotel. Maybe her uncle’s computer or office would hold better answers. She wouldn’t dare go to the company, not just yet; not unless she really had to.

As she got to the door of room 303, Celaena stopped in her tracks as she heard voices inside. Had Arobynn changed his mind and gone to see Sam? She didn’t think he would, he had said Sam could find his way back to the house on his own once he was dismissed.

“You’re so funny, Sam,” she heard a feminine voice say sarcastically. She stood right by the side of the door, eavesdropping casually while trying not to get the attention of the few people walking past. She took her phone out for extra measure and pretended to text someone.

“Honestly, I don’t know why you worry so much about it, I’m sure it will be fine,” Sam was saying.

“I don’t know, I’m just not sure about any of it anymore.” Celaena knew she had heard that voice before. She squeezed her brain for an answer, trying to think about anybody that would visit Sam. It wasn’t like either of them was acquainted with many people. There were only those in the guild, which were mostly all males, and the few girls that had come and gone from the house, training with Arobynn sporadically. But they didn’t have a close relationship with any of them.

“Lys, trust me, everything will work itself out.”

“Lysandra?” Celaena muttered under her breath. She couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer, so she peeked through the door, pushing it open only an inch.

Sam was lying on the hospital bed, a bandage on his eyebrow, his lip swollen, and one of his arms resting on top of his abdomen on a sling. And there she was, sitting next to him and resting her hand on Sam’s forearm: Lysandra Caraverre.

Before she could do anything stupid, Celaena turned around and walked towards the emergency exit, taking the steps two at a time as she raced down the stairs and back to her motorbike.

She jumped up, put her helmet on, and sprinted out of the parking lot, heading straight to school. She had been to the hospital early to have some time to discuss strategies with Sam and give him a piece of her mind; and now she was going to be early to school because Lysandra, of all people, had been there with him instead.

Before she could think about where she was going, she took a right turn and headed towards the mansion instead.

“Arobynn!” She called minutes later as she stumbled into his office, banging the door open. She stopped in her tracks as she noticed the empty room. She turned on her heels and yelled his name again into the silence of the house. Nothing. “Is there anybody home?” She yelled a little louder, almost glad to notice she was all alone.

Celaena took a step into the office and closed the door behind her. She knew that if Arobynn ever found her lurking in his office, she’d be dead meat, but sometimes she couldn’t help her curiosity. Arobynn had been a bit on edge about a few things, and since the incident between them, he hadn’t trusted her as much. She had been wondering for a while if he was hiding something new, something she didn't know about. With the tournament coming up in a couple of weeks, she almost expected to find bets against Sam. Arobynn was known to hold dodgy cards under his sleeve, and there had been something weird about his reaction when she told him Sam had been beaten up at school. Had he played one of his dirty tricks and set up Sam to lose? She knew Cortland was good, but she knew he wasn't fond of fighting, even if he tried to hide it.

Celaena looked through the papers on top of the desk, one eye always on the door. When she didn’t find anything, she opened the first drawer and looked around the folders until she found some papers concerning the tournament inside an envelope.

She took out some slips from bets Arobynn had made, and she was only half surprised to find out he had put money onto Sam winning the competition. Celaena couldn’t deny that Sam had the potential to win, he was an amazing fighter- when he defended himself. Annoyed at him again, she huffed. She was about to put the papers away when she noticed who the slip was addressed to. The name was right there, on the corner of the page: Maeve Galathynius.

Before she could get over the shock she heard the front door banging, and put everything away as fast as she could. She slipped out of the office and exited the house through the back door before anybody could find her inside. She was glad she had parked her bike around back and out of sight. She rolled it out onto the street and fired the engine almost at the same time as she sped away.

She checked the time as she drove, and was surprised to see how much time had gone by; school was about to start. The choice was an easy one as Celaena made it to the intersection, and turned towards the hospital. She could be in and out in time to get to school by the second period.

As she got to the room, she only half expected to find Lysandra there. Listening in and finding the room quiet, she walked in.

“Surprised to see you here,” Sam said as soon as she was past the threshold.

“We’ve got business, you and I,” she said in a low and somber tone as she stood right next to him.

“Did you find anything?” Sam was serious, clearly catching on the importance of the matter straight away.

“I might have,” she whispered as she crouched, getting her face at the same level as Sam’s. Before Sam could read her expression, she snapped a hand up and closed it around his throat. “Now, whose side are you on?” She hissed.

Sam didn’t even flinch, he kept eye contact for a moment and then blinked once, slowly. “I’m with you,” he said softly.

“Are you really? You and Arobynn had had some fishy business, and I don’t trust that he trusts you.”

Sam glanced to the door before replying. “I know you think I betrayed you, but I didn’t. I thought you were in trouble, and I was trying to help. If you tell me what’s going on, maybe I can prove it to you.”

Celaena pondered how much to say, she knew what her end game was, what she wanted to obtain by going to the hospital. And she realized then, that maybe there was a way Cortland could start proving his worth, by proving he’d be willing to help without knowing why.

“I need you to back down from the tournament,” she said, loosening her hold on Sam’s throat.

Sam’s golden eyes bore into Celaena’s as if trying to read the motives behind what she was asking for.

“Done,” he replied after a minute, surprising Celaena so much that she let go of his neck altogether, and took a step back.

“And I need you to help me convince Arobynn that I’m the one to take your place.” Sam kept his expression cool as he nodded slowly.

“Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” He asked her, a little line forming on his forehead.

“You, better than anybody, know that I do,” Celaena’s tone had turned a little playful as the relief of getting what she needed started to wash over her. She just needed to convince Arobynn that she was his best option if he still wanted to win those bets. She could win that tournament, and find what her aunt’s involvement was while at it.

“I do,” Sam said with a half-smile. “Now, are you going to tell me why you need to be a part of the competition? I know you love fighting, but this is not the same as junior league, those guys can be brutal.”

“And I can be worse,” she replied without a second’s delay, making Sam chuckle again.

“I know that, you definitely have fire burning in that heart of yours,” he replied. “If you’re not telling me why, tell me how. What’s your plan? You can’t fight under the name of Celaena, if anybody traces your name back to Adarlan Elite, your whole plan could get ruined. And you certainly can’t fight under your real name.”

“I know that. I will find another alias, just a random name, maybe…” Celaena thought for a moment, trying to think of a name that sounded cool, but menacing at the same time, one that said ‘don’t mess with me’. “What about, Lillian?”

“Kind of sounds like Lilith, the vampire. I can see the resemblance,” Sam replied with a wink.

“You wanker,” Celaena laughed as she punched Sam in the shoulder, making him wince. When was the last time they had laughed together? Certainly before he had betrayed her. Or, if he was telling the truth, when she thought he did. She was still unsure about trusting Sam, but a part of her wished she could. Sam had been the closest thing to a friend she had ever had, and seeing him in the hospital like this had softened her heart if only a little.

“What about, Diana? Sounds kind of hot,” Sam offered.

“Sounds like an old lady.” Celaena scrunched her face and shook her head. Maybe she didn’t need a name, but a nickname. She could try to come up with something that represented her, something that meant something. Something that would make it worth fighting for, a name worth defending. Remembering Sam’s words from a moment ago, she started playing with words in her mind. Fire in your heart, he had said. Celaena could get on board with that, the anger and thirst for revenge almost burned like a fire in her chest most days. Heart of fire. Fire in the heart.

“Fireheart,” she said almost to herself. Sam looked at her, his honey eyes shining under the sun filtering through the window.

“Fireheart,” he repeated slowly as if savoring the word. “I like it, it suits you.”

#fireheart #tog fandom #tog fanfic #chapter 10 #sam cortland #celaena sardothien

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feralrosie · 5 years ago

Text

Lullabies at Night

Fandom: Dragon Age Relationships: M!Lavellan/Dorian Pavus Rating: General Audiences Tags: Hurt/Comfort

Read on AO3

Skyhold was hardly ever quiet, even during the coldest hours of the night and, Maker, it was cold. Dorian woke up with the sound of wind escaping through the door and a chilly shiver running down on his spine. He looked for the blankets, patting the bed around him, but suddenly realized there was more missing. Sitting on the bed in a startle, he found himself alone in the Inquisitor's bed. Took a few seconds of drunken thought, but he quickly stepped out of the bed to change into proper clothing and leave the room, avoiding the looks of occasional guardsmen who were chatting in low voices. There were few torches lit at that time, so Dorian could easily sneak past them while looking around the castle—not that he needed to, but wished to avoid gossips later. Anything related to his relationship with the Inquisitor seemed to be specially tasteful for the tongues of nobles in Skyhold.

He searched everywhere and begun to really worry for his lover. Would he leave the castle all by himself? Or was he back to his bedroom? Where else could he be hiding? The mage looked around once more, standing in the middle of the central courtyard. His gaze fell on the main gate, which led to the longest bridge he'd ever seen in any old castles, and noticed that one of the escape doors was slightly open. Lifting one eyebrow, he followed that lead, taking the road on the bridge to reach the lonely tower that watched over for the rest of the castle, despite not being used by the Inquisition's forces at the moment. As he approached, he thought he heard a soft lullaby playing in distance and every new step confirmed there was indeed music playing on top of the tower. The door was open and the stone staircase was large enough for it not to be claustrophobic, so Dorian got up the tower fast and in silence. On the last level, where the stairs met the battlement's floor, he peaked through, wishing to have a look on what was happening.

His Elven lover was sitting on one of the large crenels between the even larger merlons, hugging his knees with his arms while his hands held an ocarina. He was playing the most lonely lullaby, soft and slow, echoing into the night. His golden curls were loose and seemed like dancing with the cold breeze, following the movements of the green cloak he had wrapped around his shoulders. Dorian had never noticed that cloak, but it looked old and overused, showing up a few tears here and there, but nothing that could not be fixed by skilled hands. The full moon was shining over his pale skin and hair, like his whole body was made of polished marble. It was a delightful sight.

The inquisitor did not seem to notice as the man stood a few centimeters behind him, enjoying the music. Dorian thought it felt like a song a mother would sing to her children after telling them that their father could not come back home and was watching them from the stars. His heart skipped a beat and he let the thought perish.

"I did not know you could play" he said finally in a tender voice. Elrian jumped harshly on a startle, almost letting his ocarina fall off the battlement, but the mage behind him was quick to hold it in the air, chuckling softly. "I am sorry, Amatus. I did not mean to scare you"

"Dorian!" he cried in some sort of relief "Don't creep behind me like this, I could have fallen down"

"A risk that could easily be avoided if you have stayed in bed with me" Dorian approached, leaning down to rest the weight of his body on his arms against the parapet where his lover was seated "What troubles you?" his voice was soft but still packed with concern.

The inquisitor bit his lip, looking away, "I just couldn't sleep. Had a dream and woke up"

"A nightmare? Do you wish to talk about it?"

"Not a nightmare. It was a good dream." he sighed, then continued in a low voice, trying to not sound too sad "I was back at my clan. It was summer and we were celebrating someone's birthday, dancing and feasting. My father was showing tricks to the little children, they loved his magic. And my mother was calling me and trying to put flowers on my hair." he smiled and his eyes glittered as tears came to life.

"I am sorry, Amatus" Dorian reached for the other's hand, but Elrian was quick to turn his palm up to show the glowing anchor underneath his skin.

"I hate this thing." he confessed, "And yet I'm grateful I can do some good to the world because of it. I just wish I could do more." he closed his hand on a tight fist "I wish I could have saved them"

Dorian slid his hand over the elf's wrist and made his way to hold his hand, opening his fist softly to tangle their fingers together, "Your family would be very proud of you, Elrian. Do not think otherwise. Their love did not fade away"

"I… know" he wrapped the cloak more around his body, as if trying to shrink his own size "I just miss them so much"

The Tevinter said nothing, for there was nothing else to be said. He passed his right arm around Elrian's body and held his left hand with his own, spooning him and resting his head on his lover's shoulder, kissing it softly. They stood there for a couple minutes before Dorian begun to shake a bit, still not used to the Ferelden cold.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Vhenan. Get in here" Elrian chuckled, opening the cloak and putting over Dorian's shoulders as well.

"Thank you for acknowledging my presence here" he provoked, joking, and hug the elf underneath their improvised blanket, still standing up on the battlement behind. "I've never seen you wear this one. Where did you get it?"

Elrian smiled, caressing the green fabric along the lines of golden embroidery that formed the pattern of vines. "I was wearing it at the Conclave. My mother gave it to me when I got my vallaslin and it was my only fancy piece back home. It survived that night's events pretty well, I think"

"It is beautiful." Dorian was also appreciating the details "I take the ocarina was also with you that day?"

"It was. It was my father's. Have I ever told you about them?"

"I don't think so." he tightened the embrace "but I would love to hear"

Elrian smiled tenderly. "My mother was a hunter. She taught me how to fight and survive in the woods if I ever needed to. And my father was the Halla Keeper, First to our clan. I was the Second and therefore had to learn both from him and from our Keeper. He told me how to take care of the Hallas and how they seemed to enjoy the sound of the ocarina, so if one of them got lost I could play and let it come back on its own. I enjoyed it just as much. Once all my friends made fun of me because I spent a whole afternoon playing and by night there were dozens of Hallas around me, sleeping" he laughed to himself "They told me I was so boring that not even the animals could stay awake"

"Oh, how dare them?" Dorian laughed.

"When I turned 16, I was convinced my vallaslin would be Ghilan'nain's, the mother of Hallas" he continued "But it was Mythal's, the great protector. At the time I was reluctant and not sure if I was worth it. From that day on, my free time was consumed by extensive lectures from both my father and the Keeper, since I was bound to assume the clan's guidance someday. I think I was failing, to be honest"

"Why do you think that?"

"I was too soft and insecure. Still am, I guess. My father sent me to the Conclave so I could put all my training to test and deal with it all by myself. And when I was made Inquisitor, he sent me a letter saying he always knew I had the soul of a Keeper and was sure I could assume the responsibility. My mother also wrote this letter and said they were very proud. She also told me to be respectful but not bow my head"

"Excellent advise. In my opinion, you are following it just right." Dorian placed a few more kisses on the Inquisitor's shoulder "Sounds like they were great people, I'd loved to have met them"

"My mother would have loved you. She loved all my friends and boyfriends, as long as they took good care of me"

"And do I?" he mumbled, caressing Elrian with his lips.

"More than you can imagine" the answer came in a low and loving voice, the type that usually accompanied blushing. Dorian didn't need to look at his face to know he had colour on his cheeks.

"What about your father? Would he also have approved us?"

"You're from Tevinter, Vhenan" he chuckled as it was an obvious counterpoint.

"Oh, right" he laughed.

"But eventually he would, yes" Elrian leaned down to steal a kiss from his lover's lips "You'd always be welcome"

"That's good to know, Amatus. I mean it" he whispered against his lips "Not only were you destined to make yourself great, but you were also raised as such" he moved away so their eyes could meet "Do not doubt yourself. Your roots are stronger than you think and I trust my life to your leadership and reason. You may think you're too soft, but a passionate heart is greater than the strongest army"

"Thank you, Vhenan" the elven mage whispered back, smiling, but letting a rogue tear run down his cheek.

"Now, now, don't do that. You know I'm awful with feelings" he wiped the tear out, taking the chance to also caress Elrian's face and hair "Say, why don't we go back to your room and you play to me that boring song that makes cattle sleep? We can put it to test"

Laughing, Elrian got down of the crenel "You're a jerk"

"So I'm told. Also spectacularly handsome"

Both of the men walked side by side, holding hands in the most soft manner, whispering jokes for one another. Elrian also took his cloak off to cover his lover's shoulders and shield him from the cold, which was accepted without ceremony. Back at the Inquisitor's room, Elrian discovered that stroking Dorian's hair was just as effective to put the man to sleep as that lullaby was for the Hallas.

#dorian pavus #Elrian Lavellan #dragon age #Dragon Age inquisition #dragon age fanfiction #dai #lavellan #male lavellan #mage lavellan #dorian/inquisitor #dorian/lavellan #hurt/comfort #my writing

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vaultofqueenorion · 4 years ago

Photo

It is time to introduce you all to my favorite series of all time by my favorite author of all time, that is the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas.

This also means that the whole review will basically be one giant hype-train, even if I will keep spoilers to a minimum.

So let’s take a deep dive into the story of Adarlan’s greatest assassin, Celaena Sardothien, the most sassy character that I have ever met, and one of the badass women in the series.

The Title

The title is dramatic, it’s got flair, and it also portrays something entirely terrible that had me actually getting chills when I started reading about the villain of the story.

The castle is made completely of glass. That doesn’t seem particularly practical you say? Well you would be right, and Celaena would agree with you. It’s extravagant, just like the nobles of Adarlan who give no thought to the people that the King of Adarlan has oppressed for a while now.

It’s also kind of the perfect metaphor for Celaena - extravagant and beautiful, but hiding a fragility, a fear that could bring it all crashing down.

The Characters

See Celaena might be the Adarlan’s (and maybe even the world’s!) greatest assassin with blood on her teeth and a sharp tongue, but there are hints to her fear, to her utter self depreciation and escapism throughout the whole book.

She is, simply, a hero who doesn’t want to be one.

It’s quite aptly summed up in the picture above. She doesn’t believe that she’s fated for anything - not after having been through what she’s been through.

But she puts on a mask and smiles through it all, ridiculing those around her and lavishing in the finer things in life.

This was one of the things that made me connect so much with her (not the lashing out part, the hiding your true self part - the fear). Her past has left her so broken, so afraid of failure and of the world around her that she simply stopped trying to save it all.

And yet.

Because as the above shows, she still does save people. She saves a puppy from being killed for being the ‘runt of the litter’, and she saves a man from falling to his death. She keeps saving those around her, keeps trying even after she says that she’s done.

Even though she has troubles surviving on her own as it is.

That’s also what’s so interesting about Celaena - she manages to be vibrant while hopeless, kind while self-preserving. She’s a full-blooded killer, but she doesn’t kill those who don’t deserve it. There are so many opposites within her, and they all serve to make her an incredibly fun character to follow.

She’s also very flawed, and she’s got a horribly fiery temper that leaves her with thoughts such as the ones below.

See? That’s not the voice of a kind and soft spoken woman. That’s the voice of a fighter that has walked through hell and yet still manages to come out the other side.

A Nehemia so aptly puts it:

Her spirit remains as it once was - she is scarred and she is hurt, but she kept her defiance going. She kept getting up after being knocked down.

I think that is one of the things that had me relating to her the most. All of those feelings, all of the despair and fear and pain and yet she still manages to get onto her feet one more time after she gets knocked down.

Celaena is a hero who had me getting back on my own two feet long after I finished her story.

Nehemia is the second character that I want to talk about. The princess of Eyllwe, the land that the Kind of Adarlan has practically enslaved for their rebellion against his power, Nehemia Ytger is stuck in an enemy capital, walking around the torturer of her people at all times. And yet she still manages to keep her chin up, her spine erect.

She’s a powerful woman, the light of her people, and the dearest friend of Celaena. She’s fierce and Celaena has the idea that she’s fighting to free her people, even as she walks among her enemies, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

She’s also the one to bail Celaena out at many points, their friendship deepening with each horrifying secret that they uncover. She’s clever enough to keep her things relatively hidden, but there’s also a hint of sadness to her whenever she talks about her people. As if she knows that she cannot ever do enough.

Chaol is the captain of the Royal Guard. He’s cold, he’s calculating and he’s suspicious of Celaena and her intentions. That is, until you get to know him. He can seem stand-offish - imagine an old grumpy man with a golden heart. The thing is that this old man’s heart (he’s young in the book btw, so don’t take the metaphor too seriously) has been encased in ice and it takes him a while to thaw.

He does, however, appreciate hard work, and I have the sneaking suspicion that he’s proud of Celaena after a while as she goes from hollowed out husk to powerhouse again.

The above is not a particularly nice part of the book, but it does signify their relationship at first. Chaol sort of tolerates her, he doesn’t really praise her, but he comes to care for her. A lot.

And it was really really nice to have a hero that had to be retrained again, because that is the most realistic thing that I’ve seen in regards to a hero who has come back from a long time of inactivity.

Dorian Havilliard, the Crown Prince of Adarlan, is a softie. At least he seems like that - naive, doesn’t go against his fathers wishes, womanizer. The standard douchey no-good straight guy who has it all.

It’s shown in the dumb question below (which makes Celaena have the most amazing response later on the page, but go read the book to see that one!).

Because Endovier is the Death camp. It’s been made to kill and to be unescapable. And yet he asks her the unthinkable. Celaena, with her sass and smart assery, gives the perfect response and her escape plan was almost perfect.

Dorian learns, slowly, to stand up to his father. He learns what it means to care for someone other than himself and his best friend Chaol, and he actually seems to maybe not despise it, but at least rein back on the courtly stuff. But boy oh boy there’s a lot of character development here, and the potential is amazing.

The King of Adarlan was terrifying. He’s a peripheral character, most of the time, but he’s very much prevalent in all of their minds. Sort of a dark presence that never moves, never blinks, he seems to watch their every movement.

He’s cruel, he’s dark and we have no clue how much he knows. That lack of knowledge is terrifying and it was nice to have a hero that actually feared their adversary rather than felt like they could defeat them, because Celaena, Dorian, everyone feels powerless against him.

The quote below from Celaena is one that I am especially fond of.

Cain is ... wow. Don’t even get me started. He’s a brute and he’s just plain cruel for fun. I didn’t like him because he was a bully, but he was never that prominent for me. He was a villain like any other.

Elena, who is another pretty good but also a bit meh character for me, warns Celaena of this regarding Cain and whatever is going on.

Elena is not a character that I will go into. She’s sort of the friendly ghost that hangs back and swoops in once in a while, and she seems to want to help Celaena, but you have to take a look at her for yourselves.

The Plot

Ever wanted to read a murder mystery slash assassing tournament slash love and friendship story that takes place in a fantasy world that once held magic but is now dried out? Then this is the one for you.

That is a huge simplification, of course, because reality is so much better. I was in suspense until the end - not about who was the evil one, but rather what is going on. There’s a whole level of suspense going on in figuring out what in the world is happening alongside Celaena, who needs to discover everything for herself.

And gosh. The whole retraining programme in which Celaena finally gets to eat like the noble she feels like, and the way she has her sassy spars with Chaol.

Just everything.

Also the ball seen at the Yule ball is so worth it and her dress description gives me life.

Then we move on to the tournament. I was in love with the challenges and whenever one presented itself, my eyes were glued to the pages. The way Celaena can easily outmaneuver most of them, but she needs to keep it a secret is priceless.

Also the poison challenge in which the participants need to rank the poisons from the most deadly to the most harmless and then drink whatever they placed as ‘without poisons’ is amazing. Partly because Celaena actually doesn’t identify all of them, and partly because there is just so much confusion among everyone but one (who’s basically a poisoner) and when they drink it. Man did I enjoy watching all the characters that Celaena hated writhe on the ground before they could get the antidote.

Next comes the murders. They are gruesome and terribly well written, and the worst part is that no one can figure out what is doing it. Organs are removed, brains carved out and they are surrounded by strange marks.

Of course Celaena finds out, which results in one of the most intense scenes in the book, which I very much loved.

The last part of the plot is the actual tournament. It is tense, and it is glorious. A hero who struggles so much at the end will always be appealing to me, and then the scene where she thinks I will not be afraid (below) is one of the most character defining moments for me.

Because that is who she is. She denies her fear room, she fights on through it, and she says that she is Celaena Sardothien, and she will not be afraid.

It gave me courage, too.

The Language

Gorgeous, stunning, fierce. Can I end the segment there? That’s not enough to convince you? Alright, then let’s take a deep dive.

This is my absolute favorite quote, so much so that I got a version of it tattooed, so the below is really the star of the book.

It’s got fate in it and it’s got power and it is so beautifully written that I am in awe. The fear part got me - that she is so powerful that she would be able to change the course of the world, but she is too afraid to do it, because of her past, because of the world around her.

Geez that hits right in the feels.

The stars and darkness and unknown is a huge part of this book and there are so many beautiful quotes that it is hard to narrow it down. The thing is that while the characters carry the book, the language is paced perfectly with snippets of these gems hidden between the pages and it just makes you want to keep coming back, again and again and again.

I found myself trying to emulate her writing style after I had read it (I quickly dropped that again because I kept slipping back into my own style which is honestly the best), and it stuck with me long after I put down the book.

In conclusion

Do you get the feeling that I could talk for days and days and days about this book? You are very much right. It is my all time favorite, and I devoured it whole in one sitting when I first got it. I simply couldn’t tear my eyes away from the pages and the wonderful world that Sarah J. Maas has built within.

So do yourself a favor and check it out. I’ll be giving it five paws, in any case.

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elveny · 5 years ago

Note

1. For Adriene/Anders and 6. For Lyssa and Solas?

Uh, specific asks from the Holiday OTP asks, thank you!! ❤️ Answering these… got away from me. So I’ll have to split my answer. Here is the first part for Adriene/Anders (or second, if you go by what I wrote first.)

6. Dressing up or dressing down? for Lyssa and Solas

Tl;dr: Dressing up. 😏

The long, and very much NSFW answer (ye have been warned) comes here:

___

“Stealing away from the party, vhenan?”

Lyssa jumped and swirled around, nearly stumbling back out of the alcove. Quickly, Solas took her arm, steadying her. The shadows and candlelight played on his skin, the room dark around them, promising secrecy.

“Solas,” she breathed, her heart doing a little startled flip. “I didn’t see you in here.”

He gave her a smile. “My apologies,” he said, letting his hand wander from her elbow to her hand to interlace his fingers with hers. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Lyssa let out a breath, her heart calming down, and smiled back at him. She had stolen away into one of the hidden enclosures in an attempt to have a few minutes away from the festivities. After Josephine had tired of writing another apology to yet another important diplomat whom they could not afford to anger needlessly, she had put her foot down and organized an event in Skyhold that could rival the masked ball in the Winter Palace — if not in terms of grand architecture then everything else. Solas, Varric, and Dorian all had to clear out their favorite spots for the ball, and every room adjoining the Main Hall had been opened for the event, making for lots of cozy corners lit by candles for private conversation. Vivienne had absolutely refused to clear out her space but had instead made it into a sort of secluded dining and conversation area for their highest guests who had the best view over the two Heralds’ thrones from the balcony. The invitations to that area were rumored to be worth a small fortune, and Vivienne and Josephine had argued three days straight over who should receive one of those. The night had been an utter success and was still going strong, with lots of wine flowing, and frivolous conversations mixed into the political heaviness that always had a place in these events.

Solas’ eyes slowly wandered over her body, and his smile deepened. Self-consciously, Lyssa smoothed a hand over the bodice of her dress. Josephine had insisted on making it special. The shimmering green cloth was inlaid with golden roses and leaves, hugging her torso and falling loosely down from the waist in a wide skirt. The thin fabric was cleverly tailored, almost see-through so it kept people guessing but without actually revealing anything. Her hair had been pinned up onto her head, only leaving a few stray locks curling over her neck and shoulders.

Lyssa felt heat in her cheeks as his eyes came back to her, and he pulled her closer towards him. She willingly stepped into his arms, her eyebrows going up at the smell of sweet wine that clung to his skin.

“You look absolutely stunning, vhenan.”

Solas’ voice was soft, barely more than a whisper as he bowed his head down onto her neck. The way he spoke it against her skin sent a shiver down her back. She smiled, turning her head sideways, and he kissed the soft spot beneath her ear, teeth nipping over her skin. Her breath left her in a soft hiss, and she could feel the way his lips curled into a smile.

“Ma serannas,” she murmured. “So do you.”

They had all been instructed on dressing up as much as possible, and while his outfit was far less pompous than those of most men who attended, the gold-hemmed black gave him a regal air that was hard to match. They hadn’t been able to talk since the festivities had started, and for a moment, Lyssa indulged herself by just leaving all expectations and duties behind her as his hand settled onto her hip to draw her closer towards him. She soon discovered, though, that Solas’ thoughts seemed to go a decidedly different way than talking. His lips on her neck got more persistent, his teeth scraping over her quickening pulse, and his hand had gathered a handful of cloth from her dress to slowly pull it up.

“Solas,” she breathed, heat spreading over her skin as he pushed her backwards into a corner until her back was against a wall. She put one hand on his chest to gently push him away. “What are you doing?”

There was a dark, promising look in his eyes as he looked at her and her breath caught. Taking her chin between thumb and finger, he lifted her face so he could kiss her instead of answering. His breath was sweet with wine, adding to the heat in her veins. It was a long, insistent kiss, slow and deliberate in a way she had never been able to resist. His tongue teased hers until a fiery need woke deep in her core and when he broke the kiss, she trailed after him.

“I have very fond memories of the last ball we attended,” he murmured against her lips that were still slightly parted from his kiss. “I love it when you dress up like this. You are always beautiful, but seeing you in these dresses, knowing that I will get to undress you…” A growl was in his voice as he spoke, sending a tingle from head to toe. The words made her shiver against him as the memory of their stolen moments on Halamshiral’s balcony woke before her eyes. A breathless smile came to her lips and when he kissed her again, she matched his insistence.

His hand had wandered beneath her dress, now, he stopped and drew back to look at her with raised eyebrows. “Are you…”

She nodded with a coy smile and a wicked gleam in her eyes. “Wearing nothing but stockings underneath? Mhm.” Lyssa pulled him closer again. “I wanted to surprise you,” she said in a low voice that held a promise.

It was as if her words had washed away any last restraint he had still held onto, and with a groan, he pressed his lips onto hers, hard, kissing her deeply. The hand beneath her dress roamed over her thighs and between her legs, finding the evidence of her pleasure. Lyssa felt swirled around, bracing her hands against the wall as the hem of her skirt whispered over her bare ass. She could hear Solas suck in a sharp breath, his palm smoothing over the silken skin before he slid his fingers between her legs. With delicate pressure, his fingertips brushed over her wet core, and she had to bite her lip to suppress a moan. It was nothing compared to the sensation that followed immediately afterwards as he parted her legs a bit further and slowly pressed himself into her. His hand slapped over her mouth to smother the sounds of pleasure falling from her lips as he started to thrust into her, and every thought dissipated. She felt Solas bury his own voice in the crook of her neck, her pleading moans vibrating on his palm; but then his hand fell from her mouth to grip her hips. Lyssa could feel her pulse in her temple, her core, the heat gathering in her belly as Solas’ hands held her fast, using all the leverage he had to bury himself with driving force inside her. The sound of her voice lost itself in the noise from the festivities, in the laughter and music, and somewhere in the back of her mind, Lyssa made a somewhat hazy note to apologize to Josephine for ever complaining about the fancy dresses the ambassador insisted on.

#elveny answers #elveny writes #solavellan #solas x lavellan #holiday otp asks #oc: lyssa lavellan #solavellan smut #smut #fanfiction #solavellan fanfiction

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rainbows-fanfics · 6 years ago

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New Positives

Louis' P.O.V. It wasn't a good sight when I found my girlfriend stagger inside of the room, supporting herself on a nearby wall and groaning slightly. I saw A.J.'s head poke out of the door as he came to her side to support Clementine. I stood from where I was and offered to help, but A.J. shook his head and insisted he had her. He assisted her onto the mattress and she took care of matters from there, resting her head to the side and gazing at me through half-lidded eyes. For a moment, no words were exchanged. She looked at me and I looked at her. I smiled to show that things were going to be okay. I knew they would be since we both made it out alive. A little worse for wear, but still alive. She returned the smile and shut her eyes, gritting her teeth as the pain came back. A.J. came to her side and rested his head on her shoulder, looking up at her in worry. I'd been waiting in her room for an hour as Ruby tended to her wounds. It took awhile before she returned, having so many injuries and Clementine's was among the worst experienced at the Delta's boat. Not only did I see her fight with Minnie and her struggle with Violet, but I heard she went hand-to-hand with Lily after we escaped. I wanted nothing more than to wait for her, comforting Clem the first thing after she was left to rest. I tried to make light of the situation. "Strong little dude, huh?" "He's as strong as they come." Clementine played along, ruffling A.J.'s hair. He smiled but said nothing as his mouth formed back into a frown. It was clear he wasn't in the mood. Even my smile dropped as I looked Clem up and down. "How are you holding up? You looked real hurt." "Lily's gotten a lot stronger over the years." Her eyelids drooped. "She had me pinned against the wall. I was fighting for my life by the time that happened." "I was really worried you wouldn't come back. It seemed impossible to me, saving them and managing to escape. Especially since you were still there when the explosion went off." I couldn't even manage a light tone. The whole memory was just devastating. "I'm... really glad you're okay." "I don't know if Violet is. They were starting to brainwash her and I think she's still in love with Minnie...I don't even know if she got out okay. She won't talk to me." "Don't beat yourself up. She hasn't said a word to me, either." I clasped my hands together and stared at my boots. "That whole situation was fucked from the start. At least we got them back. And we stopped them from taking anymore kids." Clem didn't say anything. A.J. held her hand and she gripped it back. I watched them smile at each other, not exchanging any words and instead speaking through their eyes. I did the same thing with her before we left after our little 'date' - telling each other we'd make it through okay. "What about you?" Her golden eyes looked up at me, now filled with the concern I had for her. "I know you didn't want to kill that girl...It sounded like you shot by accident. You seemed a little shaken."

"That was the first time I killed somebody." I felt sick as the words left my tongue. "It wasn't intentional, but I had a weapon. I didn't want Minnie to kill you. I...I couldn't live with that if it happened. I saw her stab you and...shit, I didn't know what I was going to do." "You let fear take control of you," A.J. told me. My eyes widened. All I could do was nod slightly in agreement. "Yeah...I did." "I let anger get to me. I didn't breathe. I didn't let it pass." He continued, drawing his eyes up to Clem slowly. "I shot Lily, but I did more than I needed to...I was just so mad after she hurt our friends. James looked like he didn't want to be my friend anymore." "We'll talk about that later, A.J." I could tell how tense she was just by the sound of her voice. "What matters is we're back together. Things are different and we may have done things that we didn't need to do, but the important thing is we got out okay." I wanted to say more. Express my disbelief in Minnie, come to terms with the fact that she has been brainwashed. And killed Sophie. Marlon shed blood on our own people, but he wasn't the only one anymore. Hearing them want to make Clem one of their soldiers...it made my blood boil. I still can't get over everything that happened in those cells. I even remembered what A.J. did when I was pinned to the ground. "Thanks for what you did back there." I nodded to him. "You, uh, didn't have to eat someone's ear off for my sake. But I'm glad to know you have my back." "I couldn't let them hurt my friend. And I know you have mine, too." He smiled. I thought more of what else to say, rubbing the back of my neck as I recollected everything again. There was so much to think about. So much that happened. I wanted to think of it as a nice rescue mission for everyone from the beginning, but deep down I knew how horrifying it was actually going to be. "Clem?" I started, my hands shaking a little. "How did it feel when you first killed someone?" Her eyes widened. She started, "Louis-" "-I know, I know. It's really personal and shitty to talk about, but-" I felt my voice fail and took a moment to swallow, shutting my eyes tightly. "I-I need to know it's going to be okay..." I couldn't see the look on her face, but I didn't exactly want to. As much as her little nods of encouragement helped me before, this was something I emotionally needed to sort out. I listened as she took in a long breath, holding it for a few seconds until she let it out. By that moment I regretted asking but she answered before I could stop her. "The first time I remember killing someone was when I was taken." I noticed she was looking away from me when I glanced up. "He had a gun aimed at Lee. I was out of his sight. I didn't have a choice. It was intentional, but only because I was protecting someone I cared about." "What happened?" A.J. asked. She shook her head. "He and Lee got into a struggle and all I heard was choking. It was either I shoot him or the person I cared about would be killed. It wasn't easy to do. I was scared. I had just taken someone's life, but it was the life of a man who kidnapped a child knowing who he was taking her away from." Her voice hardened. "It changed me, but it taught me that protecting those you love is worth taking that chance." I felt cold. I wanted to imagine myself in her situation - aiming a gun at a person who was hurting someone I loved. Someone...choking Clementine. Or pinning her against a wall. Or...trying to shove a knife through her chest while holding her onto the ground. Like Minnie did. And I sat there and shouted threats instead of taking the shot. I was scared and I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't want to hurt anybody. But if that woman hadn't have come, then...Clementine might have died. Because I was too weak to do what she does so easily. My silence opted A.J. to have his two cents. He sounded hopeful with his words, taking in the story better than I did. "You were really brave, Clem. I would've shot him, too." "That's not the point I'm trying to make. What I mean to tell you, Louis, is that no one's expecting you to move on from this. No one thinks that you'll walk out of there feeling like your usual self after this. It's different when you're being attacked, but I know how it feels killing someone who didn't pose as a threat just yet." We both looked up at the same time, locking our eyes together. I expected her golden ones to be full of assurance and hope, but instead they were as clouded as mine was with feelings of guilt. She added to her words slowly. "But if you hadn't killed her, I might've died. That blade was getting closer to my heart. Dorian was going to let others know we were there. Accident or not, you taking that shot saved us and let you and the others escape. I understand it's not something you're going to be proud of, but if anything, I want to thank you for protecting me." I clenched my teeth. I was so close to crying. I couldn't do this in front of A.J. Not now. Not ever. It took a lot of strength not to get up and hug Clem and sob in her shoulder. I held myself down and spoke through my teeth. "I didn't want to lose you, Clementine. Just thinking about it fucks me up so bad. How could I deal with that for the rest of my life? Just killing that woman it...it screwed me up so bad. I'm not strong enough for that." "I know you aren't, Louis...I wasn't, either. Not...for a long time." I looked up from my hands and noticed her frown. Her tone went soft. Even A.J. noticed her change. I cleared my throat and leaned forward, trying not to let myself go again. She was more important to me right now. It was easy to tell that there was something on her mind. "Is there something you want to talk about?" She bit her lip and looked in every direction but mine. She hung her head low to ruffle A.J.'s hair again but stopped when he looked unfazed. She wasn't fooling him. She wasn't fooling either of us. We both waited as she sighed, bringing her hands into her lap and finally looking up from the ground. "I'm just remembering the last time I felt like you did." She shut her eyes. "All of the people I didn't want to lose, lost because of...me. All the people who have protected and helped me, and in return, they all died." "Clem?" My eyes focused on her, my tone lowered out of concern and in disbelief. "Do you have survivor's guilt?" I had my answer the moment she took her eyes off of me. A.J. and I looked at each other. We had the same look plastered on both of our faces. She crossed her arms and we both turned back to her. There was a guilty look about her eyes. "How could I not? So many people have died because of me." She clenched her jaw. "Everywhere I go, there becomes less people. Until the only one left is me. Everyone around me dies, but I don't. I think I'm a jinx." "That's not--" "Violet was telling me, back in that cell, how ever since I've gotten here, people have just died. And they keep dying. Marlon, Brody, Mitch...I'm the problem for fighting back. Minnie told me that when she was trying to kill me." She looked away mournfully. "Why shouldn't I believe them?" "None of that is your fault, Clementine!" I exclaimed. "Marlon gave away our own people behind our backs and lied about it. And that happened before you were ever here. And he would've kept doing it if you hadn't come along. Those raiders would've taken all of us eventually, and if you hadn't come and led us against them, then we'd be brainwashed, murdering soldiers by now." "Even you believed I was the cause of everything." Her words stabbed into my heart. "You wanted me gone. Because I learned what Marlon did, he and Brody died. And because I made you guys fight, Mitch died. You were right to want me gone...more people were bound to die soon." "Clem, don't talk like that." I got up and stood over her. "I know what I believed was wrong. You weren't the cause of anything. You just got caught up in Marlon's bullshit and, and the raiders were a threat ever since he negotiated with them." I put my hands on my hips in distress. I can feel myself getting worked up. I was fuming just hearing her saying these things. "-I don't want you to take responsibility for shit. The only people you killed were the ones who tried to take us. And you even saved Aasim's life! You aren't a jinx of anything." I didn't realize how hot I was until I felt her hand touch mine, her skin unusually cold. I stopped in the midst of my ranting to turn to her. She looked concerned. But for what? I was defending her name against all the bullshit everyone's been pinning against her. Accusations even I was guilty of. But I knew they were wrong now. I wanted to emphasize that. "No, Louis, this has been going on long before I even came here." I lifted an eyebrow. She noticed my interest and scooted over to pat the spot beside her. I took the invitation very slowly, setting myself on the mattress and looking over at her wearily. A.J. was silent. I held my breath as I watched Clem close her eyes again. She didn't say anything nor opened them for a solid minute. "It wasn't just Lee who died because of me." She confessed. "I've lost...others, at my own sake. And everyone I've been around has died, too. Sometimes, I don't even have to do anything to cause it. It just...happens. Whenever I come across groups, they always seem to be doing fine and have survived with their people for so long. But the moment they let me join them, things turn for the worse." "That...that can't have any correlation to you." I commented apprehensively. "Just because-" "-Not finished." She held up a finger. "After Lee, I was left with two guardians. One of them died because I left my gun on a counter in a bathroom. It was taken by a girl who was wanted my things and ended up shooting my guardian by mistake. If I hadn't have left that gun there and brought it with me, that wouldn't have happened." "But you didn't-" She stopped me again. By now I realized I had to keep my arguments to myself until her story was done. I shut my mouth again and refrained the urge to roll my eyes in frustration. She continued on as A.J. scooted closer, holding onto her side, fascinated with the story. "I was fending for myself after I was separated from my other guardian. I was...bitten by this dog I found in a camp. I thought it was friendly until I found food, then it attacked me. I tried to find help before I'd bleed out to death. I was saved by these two men, but when they saw the bite, they thought it was a walker who had gotten me." She rolled up her sleeve of one arm and showed it to me. I just now noticed the large scar. I winced and wondered how I hadn't seen it sooner. "They brought me back to their people. One of them was a doctor. He couldn't tell it was a dog bite and didn't want to take any chances. So they left me out in a shed in case I'd turn. I needed medical help or things weren't going to end well. I had to sneak in and steal their supplies...I sewed it by myself." "Oof." A.J. cringed. "Didn't that hurt?" "It did. Hurt like hell, actually." She gripped her arm and I made a face similar to A.J.'s. "It was tense with them, but they decided to take me in. When I was with that group, I thought I found a stable home with people I could rely on. But it was far from that. While they were gone some day, a man came to the cabin asking where his people were. I didn't like him. And I learned his 'people' were the ones I was staying with. We had to flee otherwise he would come back, and we eventually found a lodg-" She froze. Her eyes went wide and she abruptly shut them again, clutching at both of her sides. I leaned forward and held onto her arm, trying to get a better look at her. She didn't say another word. "What's wrong?" I asked. "I...I found Kenny." My heart stopped when I saw a tear leave her eye. "He...he was good friends with Lee and looked after me. Helped me protect A.J. Anyway...when we had to defend the lodge from walkers, another group found us. And it had that same man from the cabin. That man turned out to be the leader of a community who used his aggression to keep people in line. I helped take him and his people down, but on the way, many people died." I wanted to react to everything she just told me, but I couldn't. She continued right away with the story, giving me no time to breathe, really. "A.J. and I came into contact with another community called the New Frontier. They were made up of survivors, but they weren't kind, either. They took A.J. from me when he was just a baby, and I had to leave them. Apparently after their people started dying, they began to raid other communities. They were doing...awful things. I teamed up with Javier to take them down, and even though we did, so many people died in the process...like with that other community." "All of those people I was with, so many died. Either because of me or I came along. A little of Javi's family survived, but other than that, not many people did. Just because of me, two communities were wiped out along with several innocent people. Anyone I come across either turns or gets killed. It's never any different." "That's not true," A.J. piped in, hugging her arm. "You still have me." She rested her hand over his and smiled, nodding slowly. "Yeah. I do." I looked around on the floor as I held in a breath, still taking in the story. "But-But all of that was bullshit! Didn't it piss you off that these communities were already shit BEFORE you came along? It's better that they're gone, isn't it?" "I think so. But there were others that sided with them. Because they were being protected or were manipulated into thinking their ways were right. There are very little communities that rely on kindness and family to run things. That's why I didn't want to cause you guys any harm." Her hand inched towards mine, entwining our fingers as she looked up into my eyes. "That's why, when you and the others wanted us gone, I didn't fight back. I knew it was for the best. More of you would die if I was around for any longer. But I didn't want to see you guys becoming into these people. I knew I was bad luck, but I had to stop you from turning into of them." The breath left my throat as her words sunk into my heart. "-I didn't want to see you in their hands, Louis. You've shown me that humanity and kindness still exists. I only believed people thrived on being hard and supporting themselves is what would make it in the apocalypse, but you taught me that life is still worth enjoying, even when it seems to be meaningless." "Clem..." I was too weak to manage any other words. "I had to adapt to killing. It's how I've survived. It's not something I'm proud of, but the sacrifice is worth defending people you love. I just hope you can realize that someday." Her thumb rubbed against mine. I was so numb I barely felt it. "You're going to be okay. We all are. I understand if it's going to haunt you for awhile, but at some point you'll move on from this. I promise, Louis." A tear rolled down my cheek. I shut my eyes when they began to sting, clenching my teeth as a few more escaped. My grip must've weakened because I felt her squeeze my hand. I smiled feeling that and slowly opened them again, blinking away the moistness until she wasn't blurry anymore. This was all I could do in this situation - smile and hold her back. I was usually the one trying to make others feel better, yet Clem had just done the same for me. And she's probably right - this isn't going to last forever. She's been through more shit than I have since this all started. I didn't believe it until now, but what I did helped get everyone back and prevent the worst from happening. I "There's just one thing I have to know," I told her sincerely, watching her heartfelt expression turn into a serious one. "If you're such bad luck, then how come I've never been happier until you came into my life?" She swatted me away. "Louis-" I reached for her hands, shaking my head. "No, I'm not joking. I'm...I'm serious, Clem." She stopped fighting. "You can't be a jinx if you've made someone's life a million times better. And believe me, you have." She looked away, biting her lip slightly. "Are you sure?" "I'm positive that lying to my girlfriend would end with some serious repercussions." I sat back and grinned coyly, rolling my eyes to the side. "Yes, I'm sure you've made my life a lot better, Clementine." "I don't think you're a jinx either, Clem." A.J. added, squeezing her arm tightly. "You've made my life really good, too!" She grinned at us both before I felt her hand climb around my shoulder and squeeze me closer to her, her other hand wrapped around A.J. My arm rested over her frame and I took a moment to gently graze my cheek over hers, feeling the dampness of two tears that had managed to slip from her eyes. I could hear her speaking under her breath, the words barely above a whisper. "I'm so lucky to have both of you guys."

#Long Post #Clouis #Fanfiction #TWDG #The Walking Dead Game #Louistine #Clementine X Louis #Louisentine #The Walking Dead Game the Final Season

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biserker-kadan · 6 years ago

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OTP theme songs!

I was tagged by the lovely @keeperscompanionsdai and I've never really thought about songs for my otps and going through my playlists (my usually writing ones) there aren’t that many, but this is still kinda long and I didn't even do oc x oc ships lmao.

Myrinah x Cullen - All For You by Night Riots

'You are quiet

In a world so full of noise

I'll be the shoulder you cry on

I will always hear your voice

Full of desire you love you laugh you dream

I'll give you healing

With my touch

I can take it I can take all your pain

All for you all for you it's always been for you'

For these babes, it's definitely 'All For You'. I mean, the title of the song itself and the whole vibe is so them. It's such a beautiful song and it's fits them so well; like they're both healing and helping each other to heal. I love it and them ughhh.

Myrinah x Bull - All On My Mind by Anderson East

'You can find my woman dancing in bare feet

On the couch in a ballroom dress

And I love how my baby looks at me

With arms wrapped 'round my neck...'

'...It's all on my mind

Feel something when I kiss you good night

It's all on my mind

Feel something when I open my eyes

It's all on my mind

Feel that I could be your sweetest compromise

It's all on my mind'

This song is very Myrinah and Bull. If I'm ever in a mood to write them or go back and do Myrinah's playthru I listen to this. It's just a bomb ass song and it fits their whole vibe.

Frey x Solas - Phase Me Out by VÉRITÉ

'Stand up straight

With my back against the wall

Keep me still

And wondering just why we falter

Don't you want to stay here

Or do you want to phase me out?

Don't you want to lay here

Or would you rather do without?'

Frey and Solas have a really sad and unsure relationship and I hate that but it's true. They absolutely love each other but he leaves and she's so confused and she doesn't want to be confused and it's all really 'do you want this, want me, or not?' This song makes me think of Frey and Solas, angsty!

Val x Dorian - Indiana Snow by Three Legged Fox

'I won't be seperated from you

No matter the miles

Hearts never fit quite like ours do

You know that's true

No distance has ever convinced us that it wasn't

Worth the while'

This song screams Val and Dorian post Trespasser. Every time I listen to it, it just makes me think of them and how much they adore each other and would 100% fight for each other because they know that they're worth it and what they has is so so special. 10/10 song. God tier.

Briar x Zevran - Devil Eyes by Hippie Sabotage

'You've got the devil in your eyes

You went and took me by surprise

Say what you wanna say I won't go back

If you wanna hit the road then let's go then

Let's just go and see the world and just show them

What it really means to live life golden'

This is Briar and Zev. No one can convince me otherwise, I mean the lyrics explain them so well. Briar definitely has the devil in her eyes; after all the shit she's seen and been through and honestly this song makes me think of them just travelling around and living their lives, full and happy.

Frey x Bull - Raging by Kygo ft. Kodaline

'I know that you hate it

And I hate it

Just as much as you

But if you can brave it

I can brave it

Brave it all for you

Call me anytime that you see the lightning

Don't you be alone, you can always find me

We've got our wild love raging, raging'

This whole song inspired their entire relationship to be honeST. I was listening to it and idk, actually hearing the lyrics and that whole 'call me anytime that you see the lightning' just hit me - cause Frey is a lightning mage right, and after Inquisition when Bull goes Merc-ing again? UGH, it's just...so perfect.

Marian x Fenris - Take on the World by You Me At Six

'And just say the word, we'll take on the world

And just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst

Nobody knows you, the way that I know you

Look in my eyes, I will never desert you

And just say the word, we'll take on the world'

This song kinda really fits them. Fenris would do anything for Hawke and Marian would damn well do the same for him. The song also really fits with the entire DA2 storyline and their entire romance. It just fits so fucking well and reminds me of them.

Eirianwen x Solas - In My Arms by Grizfolk ft. Jamie N Commons

'Couldn't love you more, couldn't love you more

Can we start where we began?

Couldn't love you more, couldn't love you more

Couldn't love you more

Need to start where we began

I feel we're falling away

You got me hoping for a miracle

Give me one more day

Let me hold you in my arms, yeah’

More angsty Solas romance feels?? Uuhh yeah. I also really love this song and it just came on when I was doing Eri’s playthru so it’s kind of perfect. It just fits them so well. Moooood.

Bonus! Willow x Ryl - Renegades by X Ambassadors

'Run away with me

Lost souls and reverie

Running wild and running free

Two kids, you and me

And I say

Hey, hey hey hey

Living like we're renegades'

This ones pretty self explanatory, the two of them are my babies and whilst they are Mercs, they do a lot of free lance stuff (always together!) and then running off together and going with each other is so them. They're free and they love each other more than anything (also listened to this song nonstop when writing their drabble lmao).

Welp, that was a lot lmao, anyway! I'm tagging @smolpocketmonstercoffee @pocketpeanuts @ironbullsmissingeye @red-wardens @littlestlavellan @goblin-deity @wardenofmyheart and literally everyone/anyone who wants to do it! It's really fun and please tag me so I can see (and get some new songs lmao)

#dragon age inquisition #ts dragon age ocs #dragon age #myrinah x cullen #myrinah x bull #frey x solas #val x dorian #briar x zevran #frey x bull #marian x fenris #eirianwen x solas #ts willow x ryl

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thecommandersinquisitor · 7 years ago

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All right kids, gather ‘round for the love story of my Inquisitor Kyra and Cullen.

A/N: I decided to make this into a seperate post cause THIS GOT A BIT LONG and they’re my bbs ok? From Cullen’s POV She caught his eye instantly, he didn’t quite know but maker, he walked out and saw her and something just clicked. He heard Cassandra speaking to her, but it sounded like an echo in the distance. His eyes were set on her and hers were set on him, somehow. He recollected his thoughts, remembered how to speak and said to her what he had intended to say before walking away from her again. As soon as he was walking away he tried to focus on the chaos, on the hell around them and scoffed at himself for the mere audacity to look at a woman that way when he was in the middle of a warzone. This was not the time for such a thing, and he had presumed he had grown immune to such an immediate effect but that proved not to be true. He brushed away the thought, decided to behave professionally and put the needs of the Inquisition first. Safe to say: that did not work out as planned at all. He was fine until she started asking questions about celibacy because obviously that implied certain things had crossed her mind. Still, he replied, continued what he was doing and spent the rest of the day trying not to think about it too much. She was the Inquisitor, there was no way that she, that they could... No. He banned the mere thought of it. But then he got to know her, he saw how much effort she put into their cause even though she never asked for such a great responsibility. He knew she never had wanted to be the saviour. That it was on the verge of being too much for her to handle, yet she carried the burden with a sense of determination he had rarely seen before. She was a natural at it, at being a leader without letting her humanity slip away. On top of his already high opinion of her, she also proved to be an indisposable asset to the Inquisition for more reasons than just her hand. Even if sometimes her ideas, which she far too often concocted with Leliana at the wartable, made him want to throw up his hands and walk out. Slowly he started to notice that she did value his opinion nevertheless, and showed it through her choices. As soon as he did, he also saw this glinster in her eye whenever she had gotten a reaction out of him. And what was more, he realised he too enjoyed their banter. Obviously, he was caught off-guard when Leliana and Josephine started asking him about what was going on between the two of them when the Inquisitor was not around. He quickly focussed on other topics or walked out after muttering another excuse while they kept hounding him over it the way his sister would. In the meanwhile, she kept flirting with him and he noticed but he wasn’t sure enough that she wasn’t just doing that for her own amusement and didn’t mean anything by it. This time, he would keep his heart guarded even though it was overflowing with thoughts of her already. When she came around as he was playing chess, Dorian of all people had just recently mentioned something about him having to finally act like a big boy next to the battlefield as well. Somehow, that was the final push he needed. Someone close to her who encouraged him giving it a try; Because surely Dorian would know. He and Kyra seemed to be talking all the time, commenting on whatever they saw fit or unfit. He knew Dorian to be her closest friend and had to admit that he had been relieved when Dorian ensured him that he needn’t worry about either of them falling in love with the other with one of his hearty laughs. He mentioned that she seemed to prefer the blonde, golden eyed and handsome men regardless. He had been pretty close to asking him whether she had mentioned him at all for Dorian to say such a thing when she showed up. In that split second he decided it would be better to try than to give up before even getting a chance. He gathered up his courage and spoke to her, flirted back, tried to figure out whether her response to it was positive or not in the meanwhile. Instead, he mainly realised how much he enjoyed talking to her. He wanted to do this all the time, talk, banter, knowing she specifically was listening to him and he could listen to her. That night he stared up at the stars from his bed, maker that magnificent woman had some effect on him. He went through a dozen ideas on how to approach the situation, how to make that move. He refused to ask anyone so instead he decided to take her somewhere secluded enough, away from most people and where he just preferred to hang out when he needed a break. He opted for the battlements, asking her whether she had a moment to speak to him. “You wanted to talk?” As soon as she had joined him he had to fight every urge to abort the mission and talk to her about how well the new recruits were doing instead. But then he looked at her again and realized that not telling her would mean a bigger distraction to him than doing so. If she were to say no he could get over it, move on. If she wasn’t, then... well. He decided to just get on with it already. After his... confession and her responses he felt a warmth spreading through his body, she was... she hadn’t recoiled. Hadn’t turned him down. So he decided to inch closer to her, finally. Cullen could not have imagined a worse moment for Jim to walk in on them then in that exact moment. Jim was a good and loyal man but for just a second Cullen felt tempted to toss him over the battlements. He wasn’t certain whether Jim had walked back where he came from because of the stern look in his eyes or because he noticed what was going on but he didn’t give a damn. When he turned around he was determined to let nothing stop them anymore. He wouldn’t allow this to taint his confession because he lost his resolve so he kissed her the way he always wanted to, always meant to. And he was lost from the moment he did. After their first kiss he just discovered more facets to her personality, to who she was, and he fell in love with each of those too. She helped him to ease up a little, act more on what he wanted to do instead of trying to hold back every impulse. It was also around the time he figured out some of the other members of the Inquisition had placed their bets on how long it would still take for him and Kyra to confess their ‘undying love for each other’. They also had bets up on who would be making the first move. Not only her kindness but her willingness to stick with him through his struggle soldified their relationship to him. She had enough on her plate without having the man by her side also battling an addiction but she never even mentioned taking some distance. When he did, she always just shut him up and said she would stand by him no matter what. And she did. She was there beside him, stronger and more beautiful than ever. Keeping him grounded and encouraged to fight for the Inquisition but especially for them. For that seemingly faraway dream of building a home together, away from the battles. Where they could finally adopt that mabari and perhaps even... even have that family he never thought he’d be so lucky to have.

From Kyra’s POV Cullen caught my Inquisitor (Kyra)’s eye the moment they met, because he was looking at her even while Cassandra was updating him. When he looked and essentially told her she’d better be worth all their efforts she was only half-listening. Partially because she was feeling a little overwhelmed (Hey! Your magic hand is gonna save us all if you play your cards right! No pressure at all!) and partially because their eyes locked and remained locked from the moment he walked up to her. She’d heard about this thing that when you look into someone’s eyes long enough it forges some sort of romantic connection. She figured that kind of thing was utter nonsense until that very moment. When she saw him again as he trained his men, she was curious to find out more about him. He seemed inclined to flirt back but it was as if he hadn’t quite figured out how yet. From that moment on she messed around a little, trying to flirt whenever she could, reveling in his responses and in how he never seemed to commit to flirting back yet also never turned her down. She then got to know him a little better, over the wartable, over difficult encounters in which his solutions and just his sheer level of being *done* with her and Leliana’s plans amused her. She ended up picking his side in the end most times though. Not because of his pretty face either, because she knew he had the intelligence and tactical mindset to give them an edge. She quickly learned of his protective nature and how hard he tried to keep his men safe. They were no disposable pawns to him. She was no mere pawn to him. The moment she realised that she didn’t just want to flirt with him was when they were playing chess, when he leaned back and grinned at her. She saw that sliver of misschief in his eyes and took it as a challenge to bring it out a little bit more often. Before she could really make a move though, he did. On the battlements, in spite of Jim’s interruption he grabbed and kissed her. From that moment on, he let her in on the more vulnerable side of him and she fell hard. That’s when it got serious, when the ‘is this a fling or is this for real’ started tipping over to ‘for real’ side. She noticed she sought out his presence whenever she could, that she low-key loved everyone gossiping about them because it meant people knew he was hers and she was his and that his arms started to feel like home. The deciding moment though, was when he told her about the lyrium and how he allowed her to be something to cling to when it got difficult for him. He let her in. The frustration and exhasperation broke her heart but damnit, the fight in him made her want to fight harder as well. He didn’t shy away as it got serious, instead loving unconditionally for it. They were gonna get through it all together one way or another. As thus, she knew she never wanted to be apart from him again, because they could rely on each other no matter what. Because he trusted her and talked to her when he needed it. Because she was fighting for their future together too now. When they slept together for the first time, it was no wonder they knew how to move together because they’d done it in every other way already.

#cullen rutherford #cullen #cullen x inquisitor #dragon age:inquisition #commander cullen #dai

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ilikebigbooks-and-icannotlie · 8 years ago

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Fast Firsts and Sloppy Seconds Part 2

This is long overdue!! For @miladyaelin, who stayed up really fuckin’ late with me and really helped drag my ass through this chapter and is a literal angel - thank you!! For @highlady-casandra who was my reason for posting part one, and who I just love so so much! <3 For everyone who wanted it, and waited for it, thank you so much - @rowanismybae, @fictionalcharactersaremyreality, @feysandrowlien21, @throneofstars, @snaps7, @heirofthebookstore, @fortunatelycleverpaper, @sarahjmassbooks and so many more, thank you thank you thank you!!!!! Part 3 will for sure be out by next Tuesday <3 So so sorry this took me so long, hope the wait was worth it!!! Without further ado, happy reading!

Warning: it gets kinda smutty… ;)

Part 1 Part 3

“Oh come on, you can’t be that bad!”

Manon barked out a laugh at the thought as she tossed back another shot of whiskey. “The only thing I can’t be is that drunk. No matter how much whiskey you keep handing me, you’re not gonna convince me to dance.”

It had been ten minutes of this. Ten minutes of her glowing golden eyes and flirtatious laugh and her gorgeous, bare legs pressed against his, with her hand trailing patterns on his arm and his desperate growing need to hold her against him and watch her lose herself in his arms.

His blue eyes shined as he watched her, and tossed back his own shot of whiskey. The alcohol burned his throat, cutting through the fog she’d created in his mind.

She leaned into him then. His heart stopped as her hand landed on his leg, and then slowly crept up his inner thigh, closer and closer to the growing bulge in his pants. Her breath was hot as she pressed into him, her lips nearing his ear, and her long white braid gently tickling his arm. “I don’t think you could handle me, princeling,” she purred, her fingers barely grazing him – just enough to cause a choking gasp to burst out of his lungs. His hands clenched around the arms of the chair, digging his nails into his palms as his fingers wrapped tighter around the wood, and his knuckles turned the color of her hair.

Fucking hell.

Fucking. Hell.

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t survive it.

Manon suddenly pulled away coolly, a small smirk on her lips as she crossed her legs and leaned back in Aelin’s chair that she had pulled up next to him. According to the carefully built mask she was wearing, she was entirely unaffected. Even after 4 shots of whiskey, she was still very much on her game.

The same, however, could not be said for the boy. She was very much aware of the fact that he was well on his way into her bed, and couldn’t help but smile to herself at the thought. At the possibility of actually claiming the impressive bulge under his pants. And as if he could see that in her eyes, in the curve of her lips, in every beat of her heart, he shot up, stammering once again.

“I – uh – I have to – um – I have to go find Aelin.” He swallowed hard and dashed straight to the bar.

He spotted her right away, and immediately knew she would be pissed. He’d seen that look before. Her laugh rang over the sounds of the lively reel the band was playing. It was low and husky as she leaned over the bar, running a finger down the huge bicep of the bartender who looked like he was about ready to shit himself. Dude’s jaw looked like it was on the verge of snapping in half with how tightly it was clenched. His dark green eyes looked like they were trying to look anywhere but the blonde beauty. Dorian felt for the guy. He looked like the picture of aggression with his short white hair and tattoos streaming from his face down his neck and arm – on top of that, he had to be 200 pounds of solid muscle, and Dorian would bet he could bench at least that much, too. His thunderous green eyes were torn between falling directly into Aelin’s trap, and glaring at everyone other man in the bar who was falling with him. Damn, Aelin sure knew how to pick ‘em.

Then again, she had picked Dorian, as well. Even though they hadn’t lasted long.

Dorian and Aelin hooked up at a party the spring of their Freshman year of college. He’d spent the entire fall semester relentlessly hitting on her, but it wasn’t until he’d finally gave up that she gave in. The night of that party, she spent the entire night dancing in his arms and laughing just the way she was now. At the end of the night, he followed her to her dorm, and they made out for a while, before realizing that they were probably better off as friends.

It wasn’t too long after that when she and Chaol finally realized their feelings for each other. Dorian had known all along, but he wasn’t exactly going to say anything when he still wanted a shot. Of course, the couple had nothing in common, but that was okay. They had ended up loving each other anyways.

Until it was too much.

Until Nehemia.

Until Sam.

Dorian shook his head, stepping away from memories that were less than pleasant. Right now, he needed to talk to his best friend. And get more alcohol. Not necessarily in that order. He stepped up next to her at the bar and placed his hand on her back, immediately feeling her spine stiffen under his touch. Her gaze immediately snapped to him, cutting off the sounds of her laughter. “Dorian,” she bit out, glaring at him, “Can I help you?”

The bartender seemed to visibly relax the second those piercing blue-gold eyes moved away from him, though he didn’t seem to be able to take his eyes off of her. Dorian offered him a small smile, shaking his head at the reluctant need he saw there. He’d been there.

Hell, he was there right now – with that waitress, and her red lips that he would have done anything to taste – he tightly closed his eyes, desperate to remove the image. Aelin narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her already prevalent chest. “Well?” She raised an eyebrow in expectation, pretending not to notice the fact that Rowan’s eyes had not left her.

Well, if she’s already annoyed … “Can I get a shot of tequila?” Dorian finally opened his eyes, stealing the bartender’s gaze. Rowan nodded and quickly walked away, his fists clenched as he desperately tried to pull himself together.

Meanwhile, if looks could kill, Dorian knew he would be dead. “Spit it out, Havilliard,” she snapped. Her whisper was harsh as she continued. “Not only do you drag your ass over here and distract me from the hot bartender, you also intentionally get rid of him while at the very least he was still staring at me. What’s your issue?”

Dorian cleared his throat and grabbed her Guiness, chugging a quarter of it down before he could finally speak. “I need you to dance with me,” he ground out, staring at the wooden floor. He didn’t need to look at her to know she was probably caught somewhere between laughing at his insanity and strangling him with her bare hands. He forced himself to continue. “The witch is all but dragging me in with her charms, and I’m crashing dick first. And you’ve basically got the barkeep by the balls. Dance with me. Give me at least some semblance of an upper hand. Plus, if you think the guy who’s just about ready to rip off the heads of everyone else staring at you in that tiny tank top isn’t going to be crazy with jealousy, you’re dead wrong.”

Aelin had calmed down at all of this, a small smile growing on her lips. At the thought of Rowan seething with jealousy. Of course this was when he came back with the Tequila, poor guy. Faced with the delicate beauty of one of Aelin’s genuine smiles, Dorian could swear he watched the air leave the bigger man’s lungs.

Dorian tossed back the shot, wincing as it once again burned down his throat. He placed the glass back down next to Aelin’s beer and ran a hand through his messy dark hair as she continued to watch him, also paying close attention to Rowan out of the corner of her eye. His eyes were glued to every single curve of her body, completely in tune to every breath, every movement she made. He didn’t dare look away. Perfect. She couldn’t help but notice the tension in his shoulders from the minute Dorian arrived, and the aggravated glares he kept tossing at the other men in the pub. Dorian was right. Watching her dance would drive him insane. Maybe enough to dance with her.

Her eyes flashed as they met Dorian’s again, the smile on her lips stretching further. “What’re we waiting for,” she purred, stretching out a hand for him to take. She stood up and took a few steps towards him, before turning back. “I’ll be back in a bit,” she tossed over her shoulder at Rowan, not even sparing him a second glance before placing her hand in Dorian’s, her hips swaying as she walked straight to the crowded dance floor.

Every single part of Rowan’s body stood at attention as he tried to pretend he wasn’t watching Aelin dance with the boy who he kept reminding himself wasn’t her boyfriend. Although you could never tell from the way they were dancing. His hands never left her body as she moved against him, a tantalizing smile on her lips. Her eyes were closed as she moved to the music. No – he corrected himself – the music moved through her. She was the music. Every beat, every lull, every note moved through her body – it was her master, and she couldn’t help but follow along.

And for him, she was a drug, and Rowan constantly needed a fix. His eyes narrowed as he watched the boy’s hands slide lower and lower down her back, pulling her closer against him. Every other man in the room wished his hands were there instead.

Across the room, it was clear his sister was just as upset. Manon was glaring daggers at the back of the girl’s head, distractedly making her way around the pub as she only half paid attention to people’s orders.

He shook his head, trying to get the seductress out of his mind, but it was to no avail. He glared at the glass in his hands, tightening his grip as he dried it more aggressively. On one hand, he was eternally aggravated at the lack of a dishwasher in the small, often busy pub. But on the other, at least it was therapeutic.

His eyes slowly slid back up to the dancefloor of their own accord – but he forced them over to his sister instead. Manon angrily shoved a piece of her long white hair behind her ear that had slipped out of her braid. It was strange for him, seeing her again after all of those years. After their mother had … After their mother, she had left to stay with their grandmother. The Matron of their family.

When their aunt Maeve tried for a hostile takeover of their family pub – her sister’s pub – their mom’s pub – Manon was nowhere to be found. Rowan fought on his own, giving his all to make sure the pub would stay in his name, the way she would have wanted it. One by one, his cousins joined him. And now, they ran it on their own – A cadre of 20-something-year-olds trying their best to keep the pub afloat. They made it work though, more or less. And then a few weeks ago, Manon had arrived.

They’d more or less ignored each other since she’d showed up. He gave her the job, she came in every day and did it, and that was that.

It’s not that he blamed her for leaving him when he needed her. But he didn’t exactly forgive her for it, either. So they just sort of existed. Moving around each other. She’d had her own demons, that much was clear. Their grandmother had never been … kind, to say the least. And Rowan wasn’t blind. He’d seen the stiff movements when she’d first arrived, the bruises she’d tried her best to cover up. But she wasn’t going to tell him about them. And he wasn’t in a place where he was going to ask.

She met his eyes then, raising a single eyebrow, an entirely fed up look on her face. When his expression didn’t change, she merely rolled her eyes and walked away, her gaze returning to the dark-haired man-child, who was boyhandling the woman he wanted more than he’d let himself want anyone in years.

If he was being fair, he’d admit that they were honestly quite suited to each other. The pair moved as one, perfectly following each other’s lead in a silent communication. But he wasn’t exactly feeling fair just then. He wanted her. And it terrified him. Her smile, her body, her laugh. Her bark – which he hoped meant she had just as good of a bite. The way she lit up a room, the way she moved, the way he couldn’t look away – like she was a magnet and he was drawn to her, constantly being pulled closer.

She was a wildfire, burning everything she touched, setting him on fire in the best way. He only hoped he could get her wet enough to soothe it.

Before he knew what he was doing, he popped open a bottle of Jamie, took a swig, and made his way to the dancing pair. His dark green eyes locked with her blue-gold ones over the boy’s shoulder. Her eyes darkened as they trailed over his form, finally taking in his long legs and full 6’4” build as he walked over, a determined look on his face. She didn’t even bother saying anything as she stepped out of Dorian’s grip and reached for the man walking up behind him.

No words were said as she leaned into him, and began to dance. The only contact he dared make, however, was her hand in his. She twirled around and around, moving like she was built for it, like there was nowhere else she was supposed to be – nowhere else she wanted to be. Her head was tossed back and it almost looked like her feet moved of their own accord. Rowan could merely awkwardly sway beside her, mesmerized. He was a terrible dancer anyways, though, always had been. She met his eyes, pulling him further into her spell. And then she smiled – god, that smile.

He had no chance. None.

As his several seconds of courage began to wear off, and his mind raced, he knew he had to go. “I’m sorry,” he grumbled, embarrassed as he dipped his head closer to her ear so she could hear him. “I’m not a dancer, I’m not some pretty American boy, I just,” he turned his head, meeting her eyes again, “I just knew I had to dance with you, but –” And then he was pretty sure his heart stopped.

She leaned into him, her chest pressing against his as she stood up to her toes, wrapping an arm around the back of his neck to pull him down to her. Her hot breath sent his heart sprinting out of his chest as her lips touched his ear, and she spoke.

“Let’s not talk too much.”

She slid the hand that was holding his down her body, and placed it low on her waist, leaving his hand there. Her voice was almost a caress when she spoke again. “Grab on my waist, and follow my lead.”

Her nose trailed against the side of his face as she moved her body against him, reaching up to connect her hands behind his neck, holding him there when he tried to move away. “It’s okay – put your body on me.”

And with that, he somehow lost all control of his body. His leg moved in between hers, and a low moan built in his throat. His other hand reached around her waist, and suddenly, they simply – fit. They were perfect. She was like a missing piece of a puzzle. Their bodies molded together – every curve, every angle, all fitting together exactly as though they were handmade for one another. Slowly, the rest of the world fell away, and nothing else mattered. He moved against her perfectly, as if they’d been dancing together their entire lives. Or as if they’d been crated to.

This girl. This moment. This dance. This was everything. For the first time in months, he wasn’t thinking about finances, he wasn’t thinking about his mom, he wasn’t thinking about the girl who’d broken his heart. He was only thinking about the one in his arms, and the feeling of her body against his, and that was the only thing he wanted to think about forever.

Aelin wasn’t supposed to feel this way. She wasn’t supposed to like him. She wasn’t supposed to like anyone. He was supposed to be a quick fuck. A distraction. A point to prove. But instead – instead he was gorgeous, and witty, and damaged. His tattoos. She’d asked him what they meant, and he’d blown them off as some song lyrics, but she knew better. She saw the look in his eyes, the small flinch. And for whatever reason, all she wanted was to get rid of his pain.

The second she walked off with Dorian, she knew there was no way he wouldn’t follow. She was counting on it. But what she wasn’t counting on were the sudden and weird feelings she kind of hated. Feelings she wasn’t supposed to have. Feelings Europe was specifically about not having. Yet here he was. And here she was. And so she just pulled him closer to her, threw her head back, and let the music cradle them in its hold, pushing them closer together.

A fire raged between them as she moved against him, around him. Breathing got heavier, hearts pounded. They danced chest to chest, barely allowing room for air. Every movement drove her deeper into madness. Into a clawing need that felt like it would never go away. She didn’t know how long they’d been dancing when his hands moved down to her ass, but there was nothing she could do to stop the low moan that left her lips when it happened. Then he tightened his hold, gripping tightly and moving her against him, and she just about lost it.

His body was flush against hers, but she desperately wanted it closer. She could feel the rather impressive proof of his desire pressing against her and she was pretty sure there was nothing she wouldn’t give to feel him inside of her.

Their eyes were locked. The blazing heat simultaneously felt like it was impossibly too much, but also like they could never have enough. She was setting his world on fire, melting the delicately constructed ice, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

At some point, he moved his hands back up her body. She’d almost offered a protest, before they moved to the sensitive spot at the small of her back. One hand climbed up her shirt – fingers spreading, feeling as much of her as he could, committing it to memory – the heat, the softness, what it was doing to every single one of his senses. The other hand moved across her lower back, its fingers lightly dipping into the waistband of her jeans, wanting to go further, but knowing he couldn’t – not there. His thumb stayed above gently stroking the soft skin at her hips.

His eyes never left hers throughout the entire movement. He watched as they rolled back in pleasure. He felt her low moan vibrate against his chest, the heat of her breathy gasps against his neck as she tilted her head back and grinded against him, causing a moan to slip past his lips as well. She was pure sensuality. The picture of sin, looking up at him with every lascivious thought she was having playing across her face. Her bottom lip rolled into her mouth as she lightly licked it, before pulling it between her teeth, and moving her hips in just the right way. A low growl built in his throat as he strained for her.

More. Always needing more.

His eyes were glued to those lips. That tongue. Those teeth. And then he couldn’t see anything.

Their mouths were suddenly moving together, their tongues dancing, lips fitting together perfectly, just like their bodies had. It was as if they’d been sculpted as one, as if they were designed as part of a whole, and then separated, sent off in the world, only to find each other again. To complete each other in a way that should have been impossible. Her hands had moved into his hair, pulling the strands between her fingers, holding him to her, as if she was dying, and his lips were the only thing that could save her.

She tasted like heaven and was hot as hell and if he knew nothing else, he knew that he had to have her – all of her. His breath was ragged, choppy, his heart pounding as she pulled his lip between her teeth, and he groaned again. Whether it was from the painful strain in his pants, or from the impossible need he was feeling, he wasn’t sure. “Bed,” he growled, forcing himself to pull away, and secretly enjoying both the disappointment in her eyes at the loss of contact, and the pure excitement at the word.

“Now,” she choked out, clutching the hand he’d offered, and desperately trying to regain some semblance of control.

While they were dancing, Aelin had been absolutely incapable of doing anything other than drown in Rowan, but by some miracle she had noticed Dorian leading a very smug Manon off to who knew where.

Not that they’d checked into any sort of inn when they arrived. No, because that would have been the smart thing to do. So whether Rowan knew it or not, she had been 100% prepared to insist he take her to bed one way or another.

Neither of them said a word as he pulled her behind the bar, all but sprinting to the stairs, desperate to feel her against him – all barriers gone. Fenrys watched wordlessly as they sped through the kitchen, a smirk on his face as he raised an eyebrow at their joined hands, and the noticeable bulge in Rowan’s pants. “Guess I’m closing up, then,” he called after them. No response.

Other thoughts slowly crept into Rowan’s mind as they climbed the old staircase, of carrying another girl to his room up those same steps. He turned back, meeting her bright eyes, and once again he couldn’t think about anything else. His heart almost stopped at the hazy smile on her delicate face. As if her mask had come off. As if she was finally ready to admit that she wanted this too. He walked faster, and they basically jogged to the end of the hallway of the second floor.

The whole pub had just enough rooms for all of them. It was supposed to be the inn portion, but with the 6 of them poor and just out of university, or having skipped it altogether, and spending all of their time working there, it just made more sense for Rowan and his cousins to take up the second floor. He wasn’t sure where Manon was staying – hadn’t exactly bothered to ask – and it wasn’t like he really had any room for her there.

Rowan didn’t even bother to flick on the light as they burst into the small room. He wasted no time pressing her against the door, and pulling her into another heated kiss. They pulled away only to tear off clothes, hands desperately reached for the other – pulling, yearning, needing, with seemingly no intention of letting go. Aelin couldn’t help the gasp that left her lips as he saw him standing before her in all of his glory. Tan skin peppered with scars of all shapes and sizes covered perfectly sculpted muscles – legs that looked like they were carved from solid rock, his impressive length that she knew was going to fill her in an absolutely delicious way, row after row of well-defined abs, strong arms that she was desperate to have wrapped around her. And then then they were – but not for long.

Rowan easily picked her up, then lightly tossed her onto the bed as if she weighed nothing, not wasting any time. There was a primal need in him to see her there, splayed across his bed, on the same sheets he’d slept on last night, surrounded by his scent. Part of him was ashamed at every carnal thought roaring through his head – at the ocean of need crashing into him over the sight of her there.

Long blonde hair stretched behind her as she climbed up on her elbows. His eyes darkened with desire as they raked over her lithe, toned body. “Perfect,” he whispered, reaching out a hand to run his fingers up an impossibly smooth thigh. “Absolutely perfect.” She’d spent the day powering through all kinds of hell, and it just wasn’t fair. No person should look this completely flawless. Yet there she was. An angel.

He leaned over her slightly, forcing himself to take his time if it killed him. There was something in his eyes that woke the deepest part of her – the part she let no one else see. And it terrified her.

Rowan placed a knee between her legs and stretched over her, lowering a soft kiss on her chest, right above her breasts. A shiver ran down her spine at the blessed contact. One hand pressed into the mattress above her head, holding his weight. The other hand climbed up her legs like a vine, fingertips trailing up her body, grazing past her thigh, caressing her wide hips, and not paying nearly enough attention to her breasts, before settling into her hair.

He moved with such gentleness, such care, that she was almost sure her heart was going to burst. Soft kisses fell across her face, showering her with an almost easy affection. She hadn’t signed up for this. This softness, these feelings, these emotions. She didn’t want them. The more you cared about someone, the easier it was for them to hurt you and she couldn’t – wouldn’t – be hurt again, not if she had anything to – all thought was cut off as his lips finally met hers. She let her body fall back against the mattress, wrapping her arms around him. A low groan built in the back of his throat as her back arched, hard nipples moving against his solid chest, and her pelvis rubbing directly against his painfully hard dick.

Something broke inside of him at the contact – all attempts at softness flew out of him as pure need took over. The hand in her hair immediately moved down her body. A gasp burst out of her lips as two fingers entered her, and his thumb pressing directly against the bundle of nerves at the interest. The gasp turned into a breathy moan, as his fingers moved in and out of her, curving forward inside of her.

Her body wasn’t hers anymore. It was his, and she didn’t think she wanted it back. His lips moved to the spot where her neck met her shoulder. His teeth nipped, and grazed at the spot, sucking on the sensitive skin there, and she could almost swear she saw stars. In that moment, he could have asked her for anything, and she would have said yes.

That night, hours passed they explored each other’s bodies, holding, needing, thrusting.

Gasps, sighs, moans echoed through the room as skin pressed against skin, and finally, for the first time in a long time, they both almost felt like they were home.

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businessliveme · 5 years ago

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Travel Diaries: Places That Stole The Heart in 2019

(Bloomberg) –Full disclosure: 2019 was not my typical travel year. Where I traveled, how I got there, how frequently I hit the road—everything was different. In no small part, that’s because I spent the year either pregnant or caring for a newborn.

By January the globe shrunk down to places where the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention had no active Zika classification—in other words, a handful of options outside Europe. In March it shrunk further, when I was no longer allowed to fly. (How does a travel editor survive?) Finally, in the first two months of my new daughter’s life—up until her first vaccines—I practically fenced myself into the neighborhoods around my home. It was an exercise in appreciating the treasures in my own backyard rather than the far-flung spots that have typically struck my fancy.

It was surprisingly lovely, but it didn’t last. My baby had her passport—and Global Entry—before she turned 4 months old. (Yes, she had to go to JFK for an “interview” screening. It was ludicrous.) And I’ve already broadened her world across the Atlantic. Next year will be promising for both of us; so far we plan to travel together every month until at least June, mostly internationally. One day, I hope, she’ll look back on this and realize how lucky she was. (Perhaps when she loosely retraces our footsteps in her own adulthood.) But right now, here are the five places that I’m most grateful to have explored in this life-changing year.

Brooklyn, N.Y.

Drop your eyebrows. People from all around the world come to see what the fuss is about my home turf, and it’s easy to take that for granted when life moves at a punishingly fast pace. But the six months I spent on maternity leave (thanks, Bloomberg!) were full of slow, leisurely days pushing a stroller up and down every block within a three-mile radius, from the old Italian neighborhood of Carroll Gardens to touristy Dumbo, from brownstone-filled Clinton Hill to the elevated waterfront promenade of Brooklyn Heights. And when I say every block, I mean it. After discovering a handful of tiny hidden streets flanked with stunning historic homes, I took to Google Maps and charted out every minuscule lane, place, or mews I could find, then beelined there while my kiddo dozed in her UppaBaby snug seat. (These adventures often included one-handed treats, like dirty chai lattes and croissants from Bien Cuit or chicken teriyaki onigiri from JuJu, a no-frills Japanese bodega in Cobble Hill.) What I found were troves of history, unique styles of architecture, and tons of secret gardens—an idyllic, picturesque, and little-known Brooklyn that’s so worth seeking out.

Read: These Are the World’s Most Liveable Cities in 2019

St. Barts

I’ll never forget what it felt like to sit down in the lobby of Villa Marie and look at photos of the same room in the same hotel, only months earlier, when it had no roof and wind-swept furnishings were strewn about. St. Barts is a place that I hold dear, and I’m hardly alone in the sentiment—it’s the rare island of which my sun-phobic husband approves, and its varied topographical charms give it far more dimension than your typical fly-and-flop beach retreat. This time around, my visit was equal parts sobering and inspiring. I mourned the loss of small beachside businesses that were literally blown away by Hurricane Irma and celebrated the rebirth of iconic spots like Nikki Beach and Eden Roc, which were all coming back better than ever. It was a first-hand lesson in resilience that left me feeling more optimistic and hopeful than any other trip I took all year.

The Bahamas

It feels especially ironic now, in hindsight, to compare the Bahamas to St. Barts in 2019. While the latter’s Irma-inflicted wounds didn’t become mainstream media fodder, the Bahamas took a far harder hit from Hurricane Dorian, and the damage to its tourism economy ended up fully in the public eye. Yes, $8 billion in damages were sustained as a result of the storm, mainly in the northwestern Abaco Islands. But the vast majority of the archipelago went unharmed—a fact that most travelers have failed to understand. As a result, tourism has plummeted, right when it’s needed most.

I visited in February, five months before the 185-mile-per-hour winds swept through. My destination: Kamalame Cay, a relaxed private island resort off the coast of Andros. Getting there negates the easy-access appeal of Nassau; after landing in the capital, you have to take another short flight, get driven to a ferry dock, then sail across a channel before arriving on property. But being there is one of the most relaxed experiences anywhere—luxury here means getting to know staff on a first-name basis, finding tidy breakfast baskets outside your room before sunrise, leaving your bungalow door unlocked, “hijacking” the resort puppies for in-room cuddles, and watching rays zoom through the clearest waters you’ve ever seen. It’s less like being at a fussy, five-star oasis and more like visiting your wealthy friends at their home away from home.

Read: Dubai clinches top travel & business destination awards for 2019

The Berkshires

When I first learned about Tourists Welcome, a converted motel in the tiny town of North Adams, Mass., I tried hard not to roll my eyes. Despite being a reference to the signs once donned by the area’s roadside inns, the name pained me, and the fact that it was owned by Wilco’s bassist and his friends made me skeptical of how it might deliver on anything other than Instagram bait. But I was curious, and a location within driving distance—plus last-minute availability over the Fourth of July—made it ideal for baby’s first vacation.

It took less than an hour for me to toss aside my assumptions and start drinking the Kool-Aid. Tourists Welcome brims with summer camp conviviality: Between outdoor cookouts, an indie-folk soundtrack, and a canteenlike front desk, it’s chill in all the right ways. It fosters an atmosphere where it’s oddly easy to strike up conversation with total strangers—and where families with kids of all ages can coexist seamlessly with weekending couples and celebrities. (In the spirit of the place, I’ll stay mum on which major TV star we ran into.) The service was unbuttoned but not slow; the design was comfortable but endlessly photogenic; and the saltwater pool was so warm, I watched my 2-month-old fall asleep in it (while lounging in a flamingo-shaped baby float, natch). Plus, there’s loads to do. We hiked a section of the Appalachian Trail one day and ogled giant Sol LeWitt murals at Mass MoCa the next.

It’s no wonder this single hotel became the must-visit spot of the summer for anyone within driving distance. The appeal is undeniable; it just happens to look good on Instagram, too.

Mallorca (and Barcelona)

While I initially thought a destination in a nearby time zone would make sense for our first big trip as a family of three, my desire to expose our daughter to Spanish—my first language—and love for Europe set us on a more ambitious track. Now Mallorca is the place I can’t get out of my head. Its rocky, Tramuntana mountain range cuts along the northwest coast, and within its craggy peaks are nestled tiny, cobblestoned villages that look like Van Gogh paintings washed in Mediterranean light.

We split our time between Deia, a picturesque speck of a town where the spectacular Belmond La Residencia is based, and Port Soller, a slightly larger coastal village that’s especially popular with German beach-going families. At the former, we took lazy walks through olive groves and bought orange jam from a woman’s front porch—made with fruit from her own citrus trees. At the latter, we spent pool days at the cliff-top and family-friendly Jumeirah Port Soller, ate paella by the sea, and watched a particularly charming, 100-year-old tram pass by the boardwalk a few times a day.

Read: Golden trip hacks from a Guinness World Record holder for travel

The trip also marked baby’s first missed flight, thanks to an hourslong weather delay on our return flight to New York. And yet, getting stranded in Barcelona may have been the biggest blessing of all. We’d already spent a few days there at the beginning of our trip, happily cocooned in luxury at the spectacular new Almanac Hotel. But our delay coincided with the city’s biggest annual holiday, La Mercè, and all of the bustling streets we’d strolled were shut down to car traffic and filled with all sorts of festivities from concerts to parades. In a stroke of serendipity we witnessed competitions for traditional sardana dancing and gigantic human pyramids outside the city’s namesake cathedral—one of the coolest cultural experiences I’ve ever seen. For a planning-obsessed new mom, it was a refreshing reminder that the best things in life are often unscripted—and fully left to chance.

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