#((but if anyone from other cultures would like to provide input please do!))

[tinydefector]

If you're still taking requests, I would love to hear any and all headcanons for Minimus with his human please? Sfw, nsfw whatever you wanna write. I love him so much, and there's not enough about him.

Minimus HC's SFW and NSFW

I'm still sick AF but did some of this. I probably won't be working on fics yet, but I decided to work on this over the past two days. Had alot of fun doing this so I hope you like it!.

________

SFW

-Minimus is an extremely gentle and careful lover. As Magnus he's so large that he would worry constantly about accidentally hurting his smaller partner. Lots of delicate handling and making sure not to apply too much pressure in any way when interacting with them.

- Protective to a fault. If anyone so much as tries to hurt his lover most times it's Rodimus with his silly stunts and he gets the full Magnus glare. But he's also conscious of seeming intimidating and tries to moderate it for his lover's sake, and tries not to show how much he worries. 

- Self-conscious about his true size, but finds it much nicer with a human lover outside of the Magnus armour, he's able to hold his lover's hands, walk about the same pace as them and actually cuddle them properly. 

 - Excellent communicator. Wants to make sure his partner is fully comfortable, cared for. Checks in frequently about plans to make sure everything is alright and tries to make sure his lover gives input so they can make it a decent outing.  

- Loves human affections like kissing. Finding the tender gestures sweet and rewarding in a way that is just so different from Helm holds.

- Cuddling. As Ultra Magnus his size makes intimacy tricky, but Minimus would love nothing more than curling up in a quiet corner with his lover in his lap, holding them gently as they read or chat. Very cuddly when in private. Loves holding his partner close against his plating. He adores how warm their skin is compared to his servo. 

- Loves learning about human culture. He finds Earth fascinating and enjoys it when his lover teaches him new things about music, movies, history, popular culture etc. He's always asking questions.

- adores physical affection. As a minibot he doesn't get many opportunities for hugs and cuddles. He loves holding his lover close and pressing his faceplate against theirs, kisses, or having them sit in his lap while he nuzzles them. 

-a small collection of pet names he has for his lover: 

"My shining solace"

" pesky pest" 

"My scraplet"

"My spark" 

"My shining star"

"Dear spark"

"Core of my world" 

"Light of my world" 

"Beloved" 

His favourite date ideas depending on if you're on cybertron, Earth, or the Lost light:

- A trip to the civic archives or museum, where he could provide fascinating historical context as they learn about their city/planet's cultural heritage, this one works for both cybertron and Earth, it gives him the chance to share his history with his lover and to also learn the history of earth. Not the most flashy date but it is a very educational One. 

- Stargazing at a remote locale away from light pollution or from the Observation deck of the ship. where he could point out constellations and share astronomical knowledge. It turns into making shapes from the stars. 

- Cooking/baking class, allowing him to be creative while learning new skills, but so he can make human foods for his lover. He wants to be able to make beautiful meals, desserts even if he himself can't eat human foods. 

- A romantic picnic in the botanical/ Crystal gardens, where they can both just lay there and admire the plant life, pointing out plants they like.  

-but most of all he loves quiet nights with you in his quarters just enjoying each other's company, from watching holos, working or just laying beside each other.   

NSFW: 

KINKS & FETISHES

Kink Soft Fabrics: 

bondage : he loves being able to tie you up with ribbons or silk, he's not much for rope or anything that could hurt you but he loves wrapping you up in fine fabrics, watching the way it pulls your skin, but most of all his favourite part is unwrapping it, pulling you closer as he kisses you. 

Blindfolks: blinds folds also fit into the soft fabric Kink he has, he loves watching your face even with your eyes out of the picture. Watching the way you shutter and whine as he lightly brushes his digits across your skin, or the way he sinks into you before leaning into your ear. He loves the idea of having trust in him.  

Underwear: he loves, Loves seeing you in different sets of Underwear, it doesn't matter if they are frilly, lace little things or even boxers, this mech loves the way they morph to your skin, he loves running his servos over the soft fabric lightly pulling it and letting it snapback, enjoying the way you yelp or Squeal before you try to playfully slap him. 

Uniforms: we all know this Mech has a thing for uniforms and the moment he gets you in your uniform he's admiring. Gently touching and praising the way it fits your form, he also loves slowly undressing you, taking his time to drink in every little detail ask your lain bare Before his optics. 

Body kinks and fetishes: 

Breath play: there is something so fascinating to him about humans breathing, he loves watching the vapour clouds. While holding you close, watching each shaky breath you take as he thrust into you, loving the way it turns to moisture on his plating. But he also loves just laying beside you, admiring the way your body moves with each deep breath you take while you sleep. 

Hair fetish: this Mech has a thing for anything alien when it comes to his lover and Hair is one of them, he loves the way it feels in his servos, loves how it looks just normally, he tries not to pull it out of fear of it getting caught in the joins Of his digits. But he also adores how it looks spread out as a hallo When you're under him. 

Hand fetish: he has a thing for Your hands, loves the way they trace across his plating, they are so soft and warm and he loves just pressing his face into the palm of your hand, kissing your wrist and pinning them above your head as your legs are wrapped around his hips and he takes you.  

Others:

Interrogation Play: it's not one he partakes in a lot but he will if you are the one to bring it up first, it becomes very much a game of who's willing to break first, but other times it turns into desk sex where at the end of it he's kissing every inch of skin he can.  

Mirror play: mirrors just bring such a beautiful touch to interfacing for Minimus,  he loves being able to make you watch how your body reacts to him, he himself loves being able to stare into the mirror and watch the way your eyes never leave his, he loves pairing mirror play with ribbon/ bondage. 

Xenophilia: this mech despite how much he would try to deny it is very much a Xenophile due to humans and a few other humanoid species, but you took the cake by making him fall head over pede for you. The amount of study and work he put into trying to figure out if he could court you, interface. He spends a lot of time and he doesn't think he'd ever want a Cybertronian lover after you. 

_________

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Taglist

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[historicity-was-already-taken]

Short question: Do you have any tips for turning "If you knew anything about the Holocaust, you'd know why we need Israel" from a conversation ender into a conversation starter? Longer context: I find it important, as a Jewish anarchist and anti-Zionist, to try my best to have hard conversations about safety and perceptions thereof with irl Jewish family, friends, and acquaintances. My politics make me an outlier in these spaces, as does my status as a convert, which I choose to be quite open about. I cannot begin to estimate how many people self-righteously cut short these conversations with "If you knew ANYTHING about [the Holocaust/antisemitism/generational trauma] you'd UNDERSTAND why we REALLY NEED [medinat yisrael/any jewish ethnostate/colonial zionism]". I'm under no illusion that I'm a scholar on the history of antisemitism or Jewish living patterns or the Levant or anything. I've taken one college-level course on Nazi Germany policy and beaucratic shit, but it intentionally dealt minimally with the pointy end of the death machine. I've taken two year-long Judaism 101 style classes, which of course dealt with the history of the Jewish people. I read relevant nonfiction, both books and essays. I also understand that being a convert gives me a very different personal history with the intergenerational trauma, and I want to be super respect of that. So overall I consider myself reasonably well informed, but I obviously can't respond to them with the "I know more than you" card. (Not that that would be a good way to handle it, but still.) I want to talk to people, who use this specific argumentative tactic, about what it means that our very legitimate traumas as a people led us to the point of producing our own little ethnostate (with a number of very paternalistic inputs from European nations of course). About how the shoah shaped modern zionism. About the biblical Joshua vs the archaeological evidence of that time period and what it means for our national/societal identities. About the haftarah in which israel demands a king and whether being just like the other nations has ever been lastingly good for literally anyone. But unanimously, people look at me like I'm the fool for going "yeah actually let's talk about history and fear and trauma and cultural legacies and (re)interpretation" instead of like. Applauding their sick burn about how clearly naïve I am. Do you, a Real Actual Holocaust Scholar, have a way to turn that "obviously you know nothing" accusation into a productive conversation? If so can you please share because I am losing my mind over here.

NOTE TO READERS: I'm going to speak frankly about stuff that goes down in the American Jewish community, as a lifelong and active MEMBER of that community. This is not fodder for any of your anti-Semitic bullshit and I'm deeply uninterested in Gentile Thoughts on what I'm about to write. You do not have my consent to weaponize anything you read here against Jews you encounter here, or elsewhere, regardless of their politics.

Oof ok. I have some answers, but you may not like them. First, politics within the Jewish community. I love that you're a convert and I respect your dedication and hard work; I'm sure you know much more about the Jewish faith than I do. However, as you know, Judaism is both a religion and an ethnic group/identity. And there are a lot of religious and secular Jews who chafe at the feeling of being told how they should and should not feel about Israel by a convert who does not share our heritage and experience of intergenerational trauma. Especially if they're over 60.

I also want to tell you that when members of our community, particularly individuals over 60 years of age, have their minds made up about Israel, Zionism, etc, they're not interested in valid historical takes from experts. Their minds are made up and they reject any information counter to their stance, and attack the person providing them with the info. I've been personally attacked here and elsewhere by our people for bringing up historical and archaeological issues which run counter to their arguments. I've had my intellect and education and abilities mocked, while I'm out here voluntarily traumatizing myself through my dedication to the study of Holocaust history.

Another issue, is that Jewish history is deeply interwoven in our observance, faith, and heritage. This gives individuals involved at various levels with the Jewish community the idea that they Know Jewish History. They don't. They know a version of the Jewish past specifically constructed by and within our communal spaces; see Zakhor by Hayim Yerushalmi. And a lot of them, especially if they're a man over 50 and you're a woman who reads as young, get real nasty if you assert vaster and more accurate knowledge. It's kind of similar to how people in our communities think that they Know Holocaust History because they read Night and Grandma was a survivor. But those things don't mean that they know Holocaust history--it means they've engaged with two first-hand accounts.

I'm going to advise you to stop trying with these people. I know that's not the answer you want, and I'm really sorry about that. But, the types of people you're engaging with are so deeply traumatized and set in their own defensive views, that they would never listen to me, a Jewish granddaughter of Holocaust refugees and academically trained Holocaust historian. And if they won't listen to me, they sure as hell won't listen to someone they view as an outsider to the Jewish historical experience.

You'd be better off engaging members of your community who are still learning and figuring everything out, discussing your views as equals who are learning from one another, and putting your energies towards Jewish organizations who do not need convincing of your perspective.

ETA: this is something that will only likely change over the course of generations. the traumas of the holocaust are still fresh and living in the minds of survivors, their Baby Boomer children, and their millennial grandchildren; and I'm saying that as one of those millennial grandchildren. The trauma-induced view that Israel is our shield against the Holocaust ever happening again will not change because of anything you or I might say. It will only begin to fade into new paradigms of thought when we are many more years removed from living memory of those events.

[6480n]

Looking for fellow creatives for a fantasy project!!

Hi all! I’m looking for other people who might be interested in collaborating on a hobby world-building project. !!Please help me find people by reblogging this post!!

[ID: Sketch of someone waving cheerfully at the viewer. end ID]

This world is designed to be the basis for a magic-based, multiplayer platformer fantasy game similar in ways to Maplestory and Fantasy Life, where the player character travels throughout various cool and magical realms. If you want to learn more about the world, please check out the information under the “read more” (I didn’t want the post to get too long).

Some stuff about me: I’m a Thai-American genetics student/researcher with heavy interests in evolutionary biology and Southeast Asian culture. I like to draw/design in my free time. I’m looking for people who are interested in contributing (to any degree), especially those who have an interest in biology, ecology, or sociology/anthropology. I would love to be able to work with other people from cultures that are underrepresented in the fantasy genre (though ofc not a requirement). No skills necessary!!! I'm able to handle all the art and visual design load on my own, I'm just looking for anyone imaginative!

I tend to be very realism-focused, so I’m hoping that input from others will help this world blossom into a more fantastical, wondrous setting. You don’t have to commit to anything--if you want, you can just hang around a bit and see if it interests you, or just provide input once in a while.

This is currently just a fun side-project that I work on in my spare time. I want to make it clear that even though I’m designing it with a videogame in mind, there really is no guarantee that it would ever get to that point, and I don’t want anyone to join with the hope that it would eventually pay off monetarily. I’ll make sure that anyone who contributes heavily will get a say in where the project eventually goes, if it turns out to last long.

Please contact me on Tumblr or Twitter to get involved! I plan on making a Discord server to keep all our collaboration in one place, invites given by PM.

[All images described in alt-text]

The premise of the world is that flora and fauna are not separate beings, but instead that all animals start their lives as plants, turn into animals, and then at death they create seeds which sprout into new plants. People also go through this life cycle--when they start out life they’re the huge, slow-growing plants that provide the structure for complex ecosystems (pine trees, kelp, huge cactuses), and then when they become people, their community cares for the ecosystem in question.

--MAIN GOALS--       - To build a work in the fantasy genre that rejects the overwhelmingly common eurocentric and often colonialist setting, as well as incredibly popular westernized systems of fantasy morality (light v. dark, demons v. angels, etc)       - To portray fictional cultures in a way that highlights the incredible diversity of IRL cultures without stereotypes or homogeneity       - To show the interconnectedness of everything, including showing different groups of humans as being connected with each other and showing humans as part of the environment; actively rejecting contemporary notions of “mastery over nature”

!!Everything below here is subject to change!!

Since I’m heavily interested in evolutionary bio, I built the biology of this world on the premise that life evolved much like it did on our world, starting from a single organism and blossoming out into different branches. Humans, or rather “people”, evolved multiple different times whenever a complex, dense ecosystem arose. Here are the groups of people I’ve come up with. The player chooses which species they want to start out as, and the dominant weapons or magic style of that culture determines the combat style they first learn to use. (Each group of people has multiple different subcultures, but there would be one “main” subculture that players start out in.)

Merfolk/seafolk:

Perhaps some of the earliest peoples, seafolk start their lives as kelp and inhabit the thick kelp forests that surround many coastlines. They have a love for exploration and discovery, but generally avoid encroaching on land. Their magic generally has to do with water, and the weapons they use are mechanical crossbows and heavy blunt weapons (blunt weapons integrated with controlling/redirecting the flow of water to lend force to blows). I haven’t figured out which real-world cultures to draw on for inspiration for seafolk societies, since nobody IRL lived underwater, of course. This is probably the most open-ended group of people. They’re visually based on fish and salamanders.

Frostfolk:

These people start their lives as conifers and thus inhabit the taiga and tundra. Their magic mostly has to do with ice, cold, or wind, and their main weapon of choice is spears. In this group of people, I want to have different societies: a nomadic hunting/fishing society, a nomadic pastoral society, and a more sedentary river/forest-based society. They’re based visually on dinosaurs, specifically theropods, with perhaps more bird-like features.

(No name yet):

Related to frostfolk but now geographically isolated from them, these people start their lives as cycads and live in the tropics, especially on chains of islands. Some subcultures would be highly seafaring, while some would be more sedentary and involved with metal-working and smithing. For the sedentary cultures, their magic would revolve around utilizing fire, and weaponry would be small blades made from obsidian. They are also based on theropods, but would have more vibrantly colored feathers like tropical birds.

Dustfolk:

Based on carnivorous mammals, mainly cats, foxes, and coyotes, these peoples start their lives as succulent plants like giant cacti. They inhabit the deserts and canyons of the world and live a largely nomadic life. Their magic has to do with wind/sandstorms, and their main combat styles are focused on hand-to-hand combat, utilizing claw or knuckle weaponry.

Plainsfolk/brushfolk(?):

These people start their lives as deciduous trees, generally as part of savannas, or sparse forests on mountainsides. They are based visually on ungulates, mainly deer/antelope, goats, and pigs/boars. I plan to have a semi-nomadic subculture in the dry savanna, a more sedentary agricultural society in the tropical savanna, and a mountainous society. Their weaponry would use a combination of sword and shield, and they would utilize light magic by way of reflective metal or glass.

(No name here either... they’re humans):

Finally, there would be a species of primate-based people that start their lives as broadleaf evergreen trees and inhabit the tropical jungles of the world. Many of their societies would be agricultural, with some fishing river-based cultures. Their magic would be related to monsoons and thunderstorms, especially lightning magic, and they would use long, thin blades for fighting.

---

In addition to the "main" cultures of the world, there would be many cultural centers where multiple peoples meet and trade food, goods, and technology. People will not be divided by nation borders or "species".

Currently, my idea is that combat is used to battle metaphorical representations of disease, malaise, generally bad and imbalanced things. I haven't developed this part of the storyline too much yet, I just know some thematic goals I might have.

In addition to combat (either physical or magical-based depending on the player's preference), players would be able to pursue a few different skills, like farming/breeding using a robust genetics system, tailoring/clothes-making, furniture/crafts-making, smithing, healing, cooking; as well as more "meta" hobbies like making maps and puzzles for other players to use.

Again, if you're interested in getting involved or have any questions, you can reach out to me here on Tumblr or on Twitter. If people do end up being interested, I'd like to make a small community on Discord to chat with! Edit: We do have a discord server now, you just have to ask to join!

[bamboozledchaos]

An impromptu informal essay about Tectone. I try to be neutral when reading through the information, and I shall strive to be respective to all sides.

‪Initial thoughts: I don’t get why we’re allegedly degrading his appearance and marriage. He allegedly has made problematic comments, but part of the hate he got was just so personal and unnecessary. By all means, if he’s problematic, hold him accountable for his wrongs; but don’t attack unrelated stuff about him. To me it seems like a lot of people are hating instead of holding him accountable, and I have a weird feeling that at least a few times his words got taken out of context.

After all research: He had made a few suspicious comments. He did get taken out of context a lot of times, but the other cases prove that the accusations about his problematic nature aren’t entirely without credit.

During research:

The Klee ‘waifu’ comment was about 10-year-old kids having crushes on fellow 10-year-old kids, so I don’t see anything weird. He did add that ‘not all waifus are your waifus’ so I don’t think he bore any illwill at all.

The Yunjin fire truck comment is suspicious; but as a Chinese kid I don’t feel offended. I think he did say not to mock it, while I see a few members of his chat being problematic instead. I’d say, it depends on the Chinese consensus. Some Chinese people are offended while I’m not. If you aren’t a part of the Chinese culture, I would appreciate you letting us decide if it’s offensive by ourselves. We appreciate your allyship though!

I am not African nor do I have contact to any Black people, so I don’t think it’s my place to judge if he’s innocent. His joke about ‘African kids will kill for food so why should he feed murderers’ seems more than off-putting to me. Again, if you are Black, I’d greatly appreciate your input. If it’s proven by the victims of the comment to be problematic, please allow me to apologise on behalf of the toxic fanbase.

He had denied gaslighting and unintentionally invalidated abuse victims, by saying ‘gaslighting isn’t real’. He had no prior context to how a loyal viewer had went though, so he’s providing misinformation by saying she hadn’t actually been gaslighted. I do not know if he knew that the gaslighting wasn’t a misused word for her situation. Again, that particular abuse victim has spoken up about it being bad, so I take this as a ‘yes’ to ‘if he was problematic on this subject’.

He had also said that ‘Chongyun is getting bricked”. His comment about Chongyun and Shenhe insinuates he is okay with Chongyun, a literal kid, getting r*ped by his aunt without his legal consent. Minors cannot consent, and the fact that he’s pairing this kid to his aunt feels like justifying shipping incestual ships. I disagree with the implied sentiment.

About the ahegao, I really hope he just didn’t know why it means like how I had no clue. But then, I have no idea of his knowledge, so I shall give him the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.

Summary:

The hate on his appearance and relationship is unwarranted. The hate speech on his status as a straight white man in his middle-ages are unnecessary as well.

Some of his comments could be taken as offensive and problematic. But for now, I shall wait for more input from abuse victims, Chinese people and African people before giving the final judgement. If he is deemed problematic, I’d appreciate anyone who holds him accountable with respect instead of the hate.

Please feel free to let me know if I got anything wrong, and ty in advance.‬ I appreciate any further input! While I try to educate myself, I do tend to miss certain blind spots that I need help with seeing. I am open to being corrected and learning from any mistakes I might’ve made.

[idratherdreamofjune]

@sunheart wrote in her tags on another post:

Genuinely hate being alive ... I completely understand on so many levels why you would hate being a woman. Its horrible. And then as a Christian there's this whole really ugly dynamic- that i know is probably a lie i just haven't worked out how yet- that we're the 2nd best. The afterthought. The mediocre option. Almost everything in life men are better at and it's hard to believe it's just cultural-  math logic leadership writing cooking writing physical activities on and on, and women are good at being Nice :)   Which ok i like being nice   but it's like that's my only option   I feel like any other impact i might wish to have upon the world   will be paltry in comparison to what i could do   if only i was a man.   I feel incompetent. Irrational. Emotional. Obnoxious.   I feel like I'm supposed to be a plaything for the beings that were *actually* created to be in harmony with God   like I'm not supposed to have a connection with God-  only through my husband   which what does that make me as a single childless bitch?   I can't even fulfill the main point of my existence. Jesus interacted with women but did he care about them like he did the men? David and John were named his favorites not Deborah or Hannah. And like i said i'm sure none of that's true but i don't know how and it feels awful. hate it.

   Hopefully others have shared encouragement on this already, but just in case I wanted to give some thoughts. Please know that if I sound riled at all (and I’m going to try to avoid that) I’m not upset at anyone who feels this way but am deeply upset by the enemy’s lies that so many are hurt by. As a younger believer I did struggle with some of these questions myself, and for a long time it was difficult to reconcile these concerns with the promises that God loves me.

   Your instincts are right - it is a lie that women are second best. And before I go any further let me also agree that yes, we are physically weaker than men and have other weaknesses too. But since when has weakness meant that someone is any way “less than” others? Men have weaknesses too, just different ones. That’s the nature of humanity: every person is a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses. I’ve never heard before that men are better at cooking?? My dad literally struggles to cook a hotdog in the microwave and has never touched a grill in his life. And okay men may (possibly, not sure on this one either) be inherently better at math, but which gender is drastically underrepresented in the nursing field? I suspect there are fewer male teachers, too, though not as huge a disparity. Men are more prone to recklessness and violence - part of the reason married men live longer (gotta get that stable influence). Again yes men are physically stronger but have you watched ballet dancers (oooh i mean ballerinas, sorry there’re so few ballerinos that I forgot to differentiate) or female gymnasts? Nothing “less than” there! The famous Proverbs 31 woman is a good insight into Biblical support of female abilities and value: “strength and dignity are her clothing”, “she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” “Let her works praise her in the gates.” (The gates were essentially the city hall or forum of ancient Israel.)

   Going back to the beginning - women were created second, true. But did God not know His own plan? He was always going to create women. And the really amazing thing that I learned in the last couple of years is that, when God says He’s going to make Adam “a helper” (Hebrew ”ezer”), that’s the same word that is used to describe God’s actions for His people throughout the Old Testament: - Exodus 18:4 “The God of my father was my help.” - 1 Samuel 7:12 “Ebenezer” means “rock of help” and is a memorial of Yaweh’s help. - Psalm 30:10 “Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!” - Psalm 115:11 “You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord, He is their help and their shield” - Psalm 121:2 “My help comes from the Lord” - Hosea 13:9 “‘You are against Me, against your helper.’“

It is a common word for “help” used in other settings, yes, but the fact that it’s used of God illustrates that this is no poor or second-rate role. Helping - aiding - supporting - incredibly important! In fact this article I just found puts it this way:

In two cases it refers to the first woman, Eve, in Genesis 2. Three times it refers to powerful nations Israel called on for help when besieged. In the sixteen remaining cases the word refers to God as our help. He is the one who comes alongside us in our helplessness. That's the meaning of ezer. Because God is not subordinate to his creatures, any idea that an ezer-helper is inferior is untenable. In his book Man and Woman: One in Christ, Philip Payne puts it this way: "The noun used here [ezer] throughout the Old Testament does not suggest 'helper' as in 'servant,' but help, savior, rescuer, protector.'

   Moving on to the New Testament, and the topic of John, who is known as “the disciple whom Jesus loved”. John is the one who wrote the book which tells us that (under the direction of the Holy Spirit, yes) and he only uses that wording as a title, in place of his name. Nowhere does it say he was the favorite disciple, or even most loved, just that he was loved. To me it seems more as if John is saying “Jesus loved me! Can you believe it?!” It has a feeling of awe and thankfulness as opposed to superiority.

  Getting into marriage specifically, I do believe that a wife should be under the headship of her husband ...mainly in the sense of letting him have the last word on decisions and plans. This is in part due to differing areas of strength, and in part because in some situations it’s better to have a family leader - most groups of humans need a leader, and following an assigned (or picked) leader does not make one inferior. All that being said, a wife should be able to provide input, advice, and feedback to her husband, who should take into strong consideration his wife’s needs, insights, and concerns (Ephesians 5:25-29).

   The lie that women cannot be connected to God outside of their husband is refuted not only by all the vibrantly faithful single or windowed Christian ladies of history (Amy Carmichael, Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor, and Elisabeth Elliot are some of my favorites) but also Scripture itself. When Christ spoke with the divorced Samaritan woman the disciples were shocked not because she was a Samaritan but because she was a woman (John 4:27; she was shocked on both counts - John 4:9) - I hope they got used to it because Jesus spoke with women a lot. Despite the culture of the time, Jesus clearly had very warm and caring direct relationships with Martha and Mary, Mary Magdalene, and other women. Anna the Prophetess in the temple had been widowed for decades and was serving God alone “night and day” (Luke 2:37). Incredibly, in a culture where women were looked down upon, the Lord chose women to be the first to discover the empty tomb, and Mary Magdalene to be the first to see the risen Christ! I love that passage so much (John 20:11-18).

   Another example is when Jesus stopped on His way to heal Jairus’ daughter (i.e. He put aside a powerful man’s urgent request) to lovingly interact with the woman who’d suffered bleeding for years - a terribly personal and female problem (Mark 5:21-35).

   To try to wrap up, I’ll return to David in the OT, who was a “man after God’s own heart”. But again, it doesn’t say that he was actually a favorite - it does say David was chosen by God though, to lead Israel and establish the family from which Jesus would ultimately come. You know who else was chosen? Esther - “for such a time as this”. Once she realizes the task she must complete, she tells Mordecai how it’s going to go, and “Mordecai then went away and did everything Esther had ordered him.” Esther gets a book named after her and is remembered in the holiday of Purim to this day. Also note that Esther was married to an unbeliever. Likewise Ruth was chosen, as a young foreign widow, to be part of the Messiah’s kingly line. As an aside, my favorite thing about Ruth’s story (besides all the faith and beauty of it) is the simultaneous deep respect and protectiveness Boaz shows towards her (okay enough mush). Anyhow what it comes down to is that God chooses and loves both men and women, and both have a place (singly and married) in His plans and kingdom. See also Galatians 3:28 “ There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

   This post has all over the place, and I probably forgot a bunch of things I wanted to add (if anything else comes to mind I’ll add it later), but I hope it’s been encouraging. Yes I’ve struggled with some aspects of how women are portrayed in the Bible, but what I shared above, plus the love and blessings I’ve known as a single woman are more than enough evidence that we are known and loved. If anything is unclear or anyone has any questions please speak out/send an ask! Anon asks are on too. Also if anyone wants to add or amend anything do so without hesitation!!

[dwellordream]

A Six of Crows Review: Joost and Inej I

This marks the beginning of my review of Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. Before I go any further, I want to provide context for my experience/knowledge of the book and its fandom. Six of Crows was published in 2015 when I was 16. I picked it up in a bookstore and read the first few chapters idly while shopping, before putting it back down.

At the time, my dislike of what I’d read was probably primarily fueled by the realization that it was by the same author as Shadow and Bone, which I had tried to read a few years before and disliked, and because at the time I was aging out of the YA genre in general and had very little patience for many of its familiar tropes.

In recent years, Six of Crows and its companion and predecessor series, the Grisha Trilogy, have become one of the most popular YA series online. The avid fan response and promotion of it on social media no doubt led to the Netflix series being greenlit and it is obviously trending at present due to the success of the series. With all that in mind, I’ve decided to try Six of Crows again and see for myself what all the hype is about.

Some more caveats: I am 22 years old. I am aware Six of Crows is YA literature intended for a middle and high school audience. I will not be holding it to the standards I would hold an adult grade fantasy book, in terms of prose, themes, or content. I am aware that I am not necessarily the target audience for the book and these reviews are in no way intended to shame or disparage anyone who enjoys the book.

Criticism is a healthy part of any fandom and does not necessarily constitute hate. I will likely critique elements of the book in my write up. That does not mean I have a personal vendetta against the author, publishers, or the TV show. Please do not take this as a personal attack if you’ve enjoyed the book. This is just intended to promote discussion and to gather my own thoughts.

If you follow me, I am tagging this as ‘in review’ so you know what to block if you don’t want to see my posts on your dash. I will be going through 1-2 chapters per weekend. This weekend I will be looking at the prologue, aka Joost, and the first Inej chapter.

Jumping into things, here is Joost:

The prologue is our introduction to Ketterdam, the setting of Six of Crows. It’s been a very long time since I read Shadow and Bone and so all I really know is that Ketterdam is a city in an island known as Kerch, based off the map. The major countries or kingdoms of the mainland to the east appear to be Fjerda, Ravka, and Shu Han, though it is unclear how they differ from one another at this point.

Ketterdam through Joost’s eyes is a sinister and dreary place, a city under a grimy night sky and full of dangers. Joost works as a hired guard for a very wealthy man named Hoede, who keeps grishas, powerful magic users, as indentured servants. Joost is infatuated with one of them, Anya, a healer, though he knows she is not likely to return his affections and furthermore cannot wed without the permission of her owner. We also learn that grishas are at risk for being kidnapped and sold by slavers due to their value. However, the indentured servant system of Ketterdam thus far doesn’t seem to be much better than slavery, given how little freedom the grisha have.

Overall, the prologue is supposed to give us a sense for the setting of Ketterdam and interest us in the main hook of the novel, which seems to be a mysterious substance that grisha can ingest to heighten their powers for the benefit of their masters, though it has the risks of making them uncontrollable. How well is this done?

Through Joost’s perspective we can glean several things; Ketterdam is a dirty city with rampant income inequality, full of crime and corruption. Magic is an established system within Ketterdam, but the magic users do not seem to be at the type of the hierarchy despite their powers, which suggests they are a minority to the extent of which they can still be controlled by the elite class of non magic users, if they have enough money and power.

It is also very obvious through the references in the prologue that Ketterdam is heavily based off the Netherlands during the Golden Age, which was Amsterdam’s (Ketterdam… Amsterdam… not subtle) economic and cultural boom during the 17th century, aka the 1600s. Notably the world’s first stock exchange began in Amsterdam in 1602, and it was a major port and trading hub for the Dutch East and Dutch West India Companies.

It is not clear if Ketterdam is also intended to be a 1600s-esque society, timeline wise, but we know that rifles are common place and there is a thriving merchant class who rule as opposed to old aristocracy, which seems to indicate a Renaissance style setting, as well as the urban environment in general. (That said, from the advertisements for the Netflix show, they seem to have updated it to a more Victorian-era 1800s society, in terms of fashion and general aesthetics).

Overall, the prologue does its job. It gives us a vague idea of what Ketterdam is like, how the society is structured, and who holds the power. It also ends on a suspenseful cliffhanger, leaving Joost’s fate unclear. Where it falls flat is that I think a little more time could have been spent fleshing out Joost as a narrator, even if this is his only showing in the book.

His internal monologue comes across as a bit dry and mechanical, as if the author is aware he is just a means to an end to start the book off with a bang, and he quickly turns into a walking camera (just there to report events to the reader, with no internal input from him), for the second half of the prologue, as we switch to just watching Anya and Hoede through his eyes. That said, it’s not a major problem, as Joost is clearly not intended to be a main character, and his narration still effectively conveys what is happening and sets the dark tone of the novel.

What I would have liked to see from the prologue is perhaps the POV of Anya herself, or the small child she is being forced to experiment on, as that might have been a more compelling and immerse introduction to Ketterdam and its dangers rather than the fairly bland and neutral Joost, who doesn’t really feel like a character so much as a bland stand-in for the reader. If we were put in the shoes of Anya, suddenly called upon by her power hungry employer to participate in this unethical test, or in the shoes of the small boy caught up in the middle of this, it might have been both more thrilling to read and given a more gritty sense of what it’s like to be on the lowest rungs of Ketterdam’s society, at the mercy of the most powerful.

Moving onto Inej, we run into some similar problems. After Inej’s first chapter, I couldn’t tell you a single thing about her, other than that she was an acrobat as a child, that she is part of the street gang known as the Dregs, and that she intensely values loyalty. This isn’t a problem, per say, but while that’s all good to know, it doesn’t give me any sense of Inej’s actual personality, which doesn’t exactly bode well. Like Joost, she comes across more as a walking camera and occasional tourist guide as opposed to a human character with her own worries, hopes, and fears.

I think this may become a recurring problem with Bardugo’s writing - ie all tell, no show. Inej is good at telling things. She tells us where we are as we follow her to the location of a stand-off between rival gangs, she tells us that Kaz, their leader ‘doesn’t need a reason’, though she never exactly explains what that means other than that he is widely feared, she tells us that she is very fond of her knives.

But in terms of writing, we shouldn’t have to be force fed all this information via her internal monologue, which, again, entirely cuts out once the action picks up, just like Joost’s. While I don’t need her thoughts on every threat or gunshot, it would be nice to feel as if she hadn’t just vanished from the story completely as soon as the dialogue starts.

We also meet Kaz and Jesper, though I couldn’t tell you much about them utter than that Inej clearly admires, even venerates Kaz as an accomplished intimidator and chess master, and that Jesper is clearly the joker of the group.

It also feels incredibly weird that this parley between gangs in happening in front of the city’s stock exchange. Inej tells us this is because the Exchange is one of the few remaining neutral territories, but it’s also heavily guarded, which means every time a gang wants to parley, they have to pay out the cash to bribe all the guards to very pointedly ignore a meeting between rambunctious and trigger happy street gangsters on their literal doorstep.

I understand why Bardugo chose this location, wanting to contrast the violence of the gang members with the economic injustice that the Exchange and its merchant rulers represents, but it just seems a bit silly. They couldn’t meet at the docks? In an alley way? This is like picturing the American Mafia hosting a public meeting at the New York Stock Exchange with a bunch of cops twiddling their thumbs nearby.

The foreshadowing that Bollinger is the traitor (‘I’m not going to bet on my own death’) also seems very heavy handed and a little much, but I’ll let it slide.

It’s also not really clear while Inej is present at this meeting in the first place. Kaz commands her to keep watch from above, but he has also put a contingency plan in place that doesn’t even involve her, having bought out some of Geels’ men from under him. Why put Inej looking down from above if you’re not involving her in this plan? Her only role seems to be to watch, and she doesn’t even have a gun she could play sniper with. It just seems like a hamfisted way of getting Inej out of the danger zone so the author can have her as a passive spectator to the violence that follows.

This is my main problem with this chapter. It’s supposed to introduce us to Inej, but really, it’s introducing us to Kaz. Which is fine, but as he also has a POV in this book, it seems a bit lame that her own chapter is completely overtaken by showing off A. his smarts and B. how dangerous he is, despite being dismissed as a young ‘cripple’ by the likes of Geels.

Geels is also… not a greatly done villain. I get that he’s supposed to be small fry and is just a precursor to much more threatening opponents, but his every line of dialogue feels designed to show off how cool and Machiavellian Kaz is in comparison. He doesn’t seem like an actual hardened criminal who has underestimated his opponent, but a somewhat cheesy cartoon thug who unironically says things like “How are you going to wriggle your way out of this one?” with his full chest. The effect is comical, and not in a good way.

This chapter also shows off Kaz’s sadistic side in full display, which is probably one of the only interesting things about it, though it would be nice if we got any input at all from Inej on this… instead she completely vanishes from her own narration, to the point where she might as well not be present at all. Kaz has no qualms about tracking down his enemies’ weakness, such as lovers and family, and threatening them.

But the open horror and shock Geels reacts with seems incongruent, as if Kaz were the first up and coming gangster to actually consider threatening someone’s family or girlfriend. That seems pretty par for the course for violent criminals trying to claim territory and unnerve their rivals, yet Inej and Geels himself react as if no one had ever thought of sinking to the level of ‘do what I want or I’ll kill your loved ones’ until Kaz invented it. It just feels a bit silly and on the nose.

Really, my overarching issue with this chapter is that it’s not about Inej at all, it’s just an introduction to the Kaz Brekker fan club. I don’t automatically hate Kaz as a character, but his introduction is heavyhanded and comes at the cost of any establishing character moments for Inej. The most we get out of her is her brief pangs of sympathy for Bollinger despite his treachery, and her brief reference to her childhood. Maybe future Inej chapters will totally change this, but right now, it’s not a great sign of what’s to come.

I can think of about a hundred things Inej could have done or said this chapter to develop or establish her personality at all, but all we got was her briefly holding a knife to someone, and her briefly saying a prayer for Bollinger. I think it would have worked much better had this plan to catch Geels with his pants down been Inej’s invention or at least worked out between her and Kaz, rather than her just there to play lookout and admire how cool Kaz is.

Or at the very least, we could have seen the scene referenced where she searches the crime scene of the assassination, instead of that getting two lines and an entire chapter being devoted to what boils down to a pissing contest over which gangs gets rights to a certain neighborhood.

Next week, we will look at Kaz I.

[letmebe-crystalqueer]

I have a genuine question that I'm hoping other witches, particularly witches of colour, and non-witches whose cultures my question relates to can give me advice on, and I would appreciate if it was done educationally and not in the form of an attack. My intention is not to argue for a right to do something, but rather to understand whether or not I already have it or can obtain it - and, if not, what alternatives might be available to me that won't be harmful to communities that aren't my own.

Let me begin by saying that I am a white woman. I have never, and would never, claim to be otherwise. I was raised Catholic, but I have always been drawn towards magic and spirituality. My personal practice is something of a blend of both. If it helps at all, my ancestry is largely European, primarily French and Irish, to the best of my knowledge, although a recent DNA test that my father did suggests there's more Scottish than we ever realised, as well.

Earlier today, I started preparing my tarot and oracle decks to be cleansed as two of them are new and two haven't been used in a while, and I was thinking about finally using the palo santo sticks I'd been given as a gift alongside a purchase I made recently.

But then I kept hesitating.

I'm very aware that the terminology and intention around using sage and palo santo is important. I will always using "cleansing" rather than claiming that what I use it for is "smudging", and I am very aware that they are not the same thing. But what I was hoping to garner some advice on is whether it's appropriate to use either of the aforementioned resources at all. I've found mixed advice thus far, and I'm sure that will be true in the responses to this, too, but the more content I can find, the better I can sort out what to think.

If it's not appropriate, I was hoping to get some suggestions on alternatives that are. Crystals are kind of my bread and butter, and I do use crystals sometimes for charging and cleansing things like my pendulum and my tarot and oracle decks, but I find it much, much easier to use smoke when I'm trying to clear the energy of, say, a room or my crystals themselves - thus far, I've mostly used incense for that, although one of the ones I use is a white sage incense. Is there a particular incense that is good for this without being appropriative, as I suspect white sage might be? Or, as a Catholic/Christian-rooted witch, do I only really have claim to Frankincense/Myrrh/Copal/Styrax/Benzoin? Do I even have claim to those? I know the history of my church is hardly a faultless one.

I've also seen lavender, cedar, rosemary, and even mint suggested as alternate herbs/woods to burn; does anyone have observations on how well they smoke without outright burning? The last thing I want to do is cause a fire. Is it overall acceptable to use sage or palo santo as long as you do so with pure intention/awareness/appreciation/etc. and avoid claiming that you're using it for something you're not (i.e. calling it smudging)? Is the use of cleansing sprays and incense acceptable even if burning actual sage or palo santo sticks is not?

I'm asking from a place of wanting to understand and know what is and isn't okay as I grow more into my practice. I don't want to begin with bad habits if I can root them out early. My goal in life is to do as little harm as is possible, whether directly or indirectly.

I will continue trying to do my own research on this subject and really attempting to parse out the conflicting answers, but I would appreciate whatever input others are willing to offer. That said, I am not looking for the kind of responses that tell me cultural appropriation is bullshit, I should just do what I want, etc. That is not up for debate, as far as I'm concerned. What I want to know is where the lines are so that I don't cross them, well-intentioned or otherwise.

Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to provide their input.

(I have a busy afternoon and evening ahead of me, so I may not respond to things immediately. Please don't take this to mean I've gotten upset or offended by a response that "didn't tell me what I wanted to hear" or something like that.)

[aroaesflags]

Rules and About

About Me

My name is Jace and I use he/they/xe/ey pronouns, and I prefer that people switch which ones they use for me occasionally

Agender, aroace, and queer

ND, mentally ill, mixed race (white/Japanese), adult

Coined this aroace flag!

I consider myself a radical inclusionist, which means that I don’t agree with policing the identities of other LGBTQ people, and I am open to accepting just about anyone into the LGBTQ community if they feel they belong here. This includes but is not limited to people who are: pan/any mspec, mspec lesbians and gays, nonbinary, nondysphoric trans, ace-spec, aro-spec, polyamorous, intersex, and MOGAI. This does not include p*dophiles. I’m not interested in discoursing about any of this, and I use the block button liberally.

Request Rules

When requesting characters please include the character’s full name and the series they come from so that I can find them easily

Will do: Flag recolors, flag edits, simple patterns, emojis, moodboards, headers, icons, cartoon characters, live-action characters, fandom edits, oc edits (with reference provided), ship-related edits, flags with text, combined flags, phone wallpapers, MOGAI flags, xenogenders - I’m pretty flexible, just keep things relatively simple

Won’t do: Discourse-related stuff, things that contradict a character’s canon non-cishet identity, things for ships that are abusive, p*dophilic, or inc*stuous, coining flags for identities I don’t identify with (although I’d be willing to help create one with input from people who do), youtubers/youtube series, anything I’m personally uncomfortable with

I’m anti-cringe culture, so I’m pretty open to a lot of stuff.

Some of my interests are listed here, which are related to what I’m willing to do for fandom-related moodboards and icons using manga screencaps.

Other Info

Blog title indicates when requests are open or closed.

Requests sent while requests are closed are deleted without comment

I appreciate being told when I reblog from bad people - I just won’t publish an ask about it since I don’t want to invite discourse to this blog. I will also do my own vetting before I take action related to any of these asks that I receive. If you have concerns related to this, feel free to DM me.

Requests stay in my inbox until I have completed them, and then they’re published to let the requester know their request is in the queue.

Default sets include the rainbow, lesbian, larkspur gay, bi, nonbinary, trans, aro, pan, and ace flags. If you would like a different set of flags, let me know!

I tag the word “queer” as “qr”

If you want a trigger tagged just let me know and I’ll do my best

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FAQ

[malwarewolf404]

[[disclaimer: I will be using the words biomale and biofemale in this post several times in an attempt to avoid confusion as to the point I’m trying to make. I do not intend to upset or alienate anyone who is intersex or does not otherwise conform to binary physical sex in any way. Thank you.]]

Let’s put together a little thought experiment. You take 100 sexually mature biomales and 100 sexually mature biofemales, both with no knowledge of society beyond this social group, and drop them on an uninhabited tropical island. They have all the resources, food and water, and even materials to make clothing and textiles not far behind from what we have in modern day, perhaps even unique ones to the culture they will eventually create.

Terfs and other denominations of trans-denialists would have you believe some very strict rules would be set up immediately. The biomales would hunt or gather, build, and perhaps begin to create the rituals or beliefs that might one day become a religion, and eventually a societal culture. The biofemales might be relegated to the role of caring for the society’s homes but perhaps not in the way one might expect (when trying to view this thought experiment through the lense of someone who has some particularly backwards ideas about womanhood being equated to the ownership of a uterus that is.) Perhaps terfs would have some more progressive ideas regarding the role of the biofemales, and sure, a matriachal society in which biofemales are responsible for the creation of societal culture isn’t at all outside the realm of possibility by any regards. In the spirit of trying to frame this argument as something a particularly progressive Terf might come up with, let’s say this is the case. Biofemales are the owners of family names and all social status, and biomales are relegated to the duties of cleaning, maintaining, and providing for the settlement.

Now before I actually make my argument, I will say I’m no terf at all. I am not a biofemale person who believes transwomen are rapists invading female-exclusive spaces like wlw. I can only imagine what a terf would come up with when presented with the thought experiment, and because I cannot be fucking bothered to interact with a terf on the issues of gender and biological sex (oh god could you fucking imagine.) That said, I believe I understand the perspective and beliefs of a person with that sort of mindset enough to construct this imaginary facsimile of the thought experiment from a terf’s perspective. Or, maybe I’m dead wrong, in which case I’m sure they’ll tell me. Just gonna quickly address them here:

Hello eager, anticipatory terfs! I’m sure you all have been waiting with bated breath for a post like the first bit of this one to come along so that you can reply in all sorts of flowery ad hominem language, saying things like “I hope you die in a fire you dickless pig-fucker!” Or, even better “Of course this pitiful excuse for a MALE would just LOVE to come up with his own approximation of what we, FEMALES, must be thinking!” I can assure you right now though, I’m not going to reply to any comments like that. I know that’s probably a real turn off for you, probably nixed any motivation to even keep reading this post, I understand. That said, this first part of the argument doesn’t matter, I only included it so that I might have some sort of control to weigh against my own imagination of the thought experiment. Additionally, I reached out to my three sisters about the ideas that a terf truscum person might have about the thought experiment. Here are their responses.

Buddy it’s 4 in the morning in California I can’t fucking read a three page paper this early.

What the fuck? Why would I want to put myself in the headspace of a trans-exclusionist? Why are you even asking me this? What is this for? What the fuck bro.

What’s a terf

Not as enlightening as I had hoped sadly. Anyways, I want to emplore you, please continue to read. I have a lot to say about this imaginary society and what I believe their ideas about gender conformity says about us. I think you might actually see some things in a different light than our incredibly polarized and entrenched societal beliefs would have you observe the issue. If that sounds like something that interests you, please read on.

So, this society. 100 biomales and 100 biofemales. And what do I believe it would look like? Well, I’ll tell you, but first I want to touch on a separate aspect than those I covered in my facsimile of a “terf” island society, and that’s sexuality. The reason I didn’t bring it up at all is because the fact is, many terfs are gay or bisexual women. They are real people with their own feelings and damage and ideas about what it means to be wlw. While I may have momentarily felt only slightly uncomfortable creating the idea of a “terf” island society and talking about its concepts of gender identity and social expectations placed on our imaginary island refugees completely in a vaccuum with no real input from actual women, being a wlw is not an issue I can even begin to comprehend, much less create my own ideas of what an idealized island society would look like to a wlw. It was a bridge too far, and I will not speak over real women with real opinions about what that is like. In fact, if you do identify as a woman (trans or not,) please feel free to share your own input on how you feel my facsimile “terf” scenario might be improved/ammended.

With all that said, let me say that I am now choosing to bring sexuality to the court because I am a gay man/nb person, and can speak to my own experiences and the experiences of others I know about sexuality. Additionally, from a terf’s perspective, the gender identity issue is one irreversibly entwined with sexuality.

So, a society with 100 biomales and 100 biofemales. What would it look like to me? Well, firstly, I don’t think the society would be so divided by gender as the imaginary terfs (or for that matter, most traditional people cough cough) would have you believe. Anyone who’s been to a public highschool knows that BOTH males and females are athletic. Both sexes are creative. Both sexes are capable of being responsible and loving parents. The problem we encouter with trying to frame everything into “men do this women do that” categories is that that is what our traditions and society have programmed us into believing is the norm. This society has none of that programming. Because of this, I do not believe this society would devolve into such a simplistic and arbitrary culture as “you have a penis so you go hunt and gather.” Instead, why not imagine a society where people’s individual talents and skills take precedence over their sex in regards to what role they are able to fulfill in this society? Perhaps you are a biomale, yet you have a very nurturing and caring instinct. Why not serve as a midwife and care for the village’s infants? Perhaps you are a biofemale, but are very athletic. Perhaps then, you would best serve the society as a hunter, no? I think you get what I’m getting at, and I don’t think anyone, even terfs, would disagree with me that gendered societal roles are a pretty dated concept that does not line up with what we understand of real people living in situations like this. They are a biproduct of western civilization’s traditions, and are not at all the norm in dozens of non-western societies.

So, if we can agree that there most likely wouldn’t be overarching end all be all gender roles in society, where is the issue exactly? Well, it’s this: some members of our society do not fall into the traditional gender roles associated with their biological sex. So, what about in this society, where there are no meticulously well-rooted gender roles? It stands to reason that without these gender roles, people would be able to do what they wanted, dress how they wanted, love who they wanted, free of prejudice or judgement. Obviously I am GREATLY oversimplifying a very complex issue, but live with me in the bit for a moment. What would you be in a world free from discrimination on the basis of biological sex, gender, or sexuality. There would be no traditions saying “you can’t do this because you’re this.” Who would you become? Who would you have the boldness and the freedom to be? Now, a pre-agricultural society that hasn’t even developed traditions or laws is hardly the most desirable place to imagine oneself living, but just think for a moment. No glass ceiling. No homophobic. No oppression on the basis of sex.

Now, I already have a good idea of what people are going to say about this post. “Tearing down the borders of gender and sexuality would only render our understanding of LGBTQIA ideas completely useless.” “There ARE certain things males are more inclined to do than women, biologically speaking. R*pe seems to come to mind.” “By refusing to give your imagined society any gender roles you have essentially made a moot point about what it means to be trans in our society.” Perhaps more broadly, “this thought experiment is dumb and you should feel bad.”

But here’s the thing. I’m not making this post in hopes of “dunkin’ on terfs” or even really challenging anyone’s opinions on anything. I have absolutely no hope that this dumb, worthless, ~3,000 word thought experiment will do any of that, let alone get any amount of notes. I only wanted to talk about this to put my own mind at ease in imagining a world I, a casual non-binary person, could exist without having to justify or prove myself as non-binary. I could, in my imaginary society, simply be myself. I could look up at stars. I could talk to gods of the wind on stillwater, of the sunlight through the palm fronds, and of the moonlight’s pale glow on the sand. I could do all of these things without constantly being percieved as a man because of the way I presented or behaved. And, I could find a masculine partner to be with, free of judgement.

“But Malwarewolf!” You cry, pleadingly. “What about all the people born as one sex that wish to transition into another sex? They would have no way of doing that in this imaginary society!! As a trans person, I do not experience the same satisfaction you do in this concept!”

This is, perhaps, the biggest hole in my argument. However, just because a person is born as one sex and wishes to transition in a relatively (oh, how do I say this without offending a lot of people,) quaint society doesn’t mean they’re just damned to live in a state of dysphoria or unhappiness with their body. I would argue, they might be able to live happier lives than trans people in our society do, existing as a fully welcomed and accepted member of society, with no oppression or suppression of their very valid desires to exist as they opposite sex. I would further argue that in a society without the proper foreknowledge and tools to perform gender-reassignment surgery, individuals who might identify as “trans” in our society would instead be free to express themselves however they wanted to instead of having to adopt a particular appearance or sex-identifying features to adhere to their non-existent gender roles. This is, very possibly, how the polynesian “third genders” came to be, such as Māhū in Hawaii and Tahiti, Fakaleiti in Tongan peoples, and Fa’afafine in Samoa. Now, these third genders are very important to many polynesian cultures and have very specific spiritual and societal roles in the island’s cultures respectively, the extent of which I am no way qualified to speak about (but would absolutely LOVE if some native Hawaiians could weigh in on!) It should be noted however, that a Māhū person can be born either male or female.

I say all of this to say, gender is a highly complex and winding topic. I could go on waxing poetic about my day-dream life in this idyllic society, but if you’ve made it this far in the post, you’ve probably had enough of that. Thank you so much for reading this far into a fucking hypothetical concept of all things. I will close by saying unironically, I’m gay as fuck, trans rights are human rights, and lastly trans-exclusionists if I see you bullying people in the comments I will suplex you through a plywood board.

I love you all and have a wonderful day.

[secretagentfan]

Safe Haven

Chapter 4 of my Ludger/Jude Xillia 2 Zombie AU is up!

On archive! 

     The cracked pavement outside of the bed-and-breakfast had seamlessly given way to dirt roads and fields in a way only rural land could manage.

     With Ludger as he was, the walk took twice as long as they had planned. He had alternated between leaning on Jude and stumbling alongside Elle. Sharing the load, Elle had called it. Ludger wasn’t totally sure how he felt about being the load, but hey. She was happy. He was dizzy. Jude seemed like a nice guy.

     They were all out of breath by the time they reached the orchard outpost.

     This world of good smells and greenery still felt foreign to Ludger, even after all their traveling. Having grown up in the city he knew asphalt and exhaust, firmly understood how it felt to ride a bike and scrape his knee on cracked sidewalks littered with cigarette butts.

     He felt most comfortable in the city settlements, where trees were just now beginning to fight their way through the concrete. City settlements had buildings. They were looted and dusty, sure, but buildings, nonetheless. You could spend a few hours tidying up and then easily pretend that life could return to normal any day, inside a building.

     There was no pretending in the country. Farmland measured the effects of time by how much vengeance mother nature decided to have—and often, she was pissed. She had taken back this place. The long stretch of land was filled with tall grass, weeds, and the whispy beginnings of fully rooted trees. Ludger could hear the slosh of a river, somewhere behind all the overgrowth.

     The only thing she couldn’t lay her claim on was the tall hydroelectrically powered fence that encircled the settlement. Farmland shelters like this one had become a sort of cultural hub for survivors - if you could afford to get in. The fancy fence was as much a declaration of dominance as it was of protection.

     Dread pooled in Ludger’s stomach, as he remembered his last stay at a shelter like this one. Elle was scowling at the electrified metal; Jude just sighed. They all knew they didn’t have a choice. They were sweaty, and exhausted – this would be their home for the night, whatever the cost.

     “I’ve had enough of fences,” Elle mumbled as they elbowed their way into the rambunctious line of survivors trying to get in. It was late, likely around 11 or 12 at night, but there was never any shortage of desperate people looking for a safe place to stay. “They’re stupid and they don’t work. Zombies just build up and then people get hurt!”

     “I don’t think that will be problem here, at least,” Jude supplied. “There are guards.”

     “I guess,” she huffed, pointing a look in Jude’s general direction. “I don’t really like guards either though.”

     Jude exhaled an almost-laugh. “I know what you mean.”

     The guards at any outpost were often sketchy vigilantes that took it upon themselves to keep the crowded shelter safe at night. They stood at the gates with guns, checked those that came in, and eliminated any infected that approached during the night.

     That part was fine. The problem was how they took payment.

     Guards were paid in the form of non-optional tolls: entry fees from those desperate enough to need a place to stay for the night. The whole situation was ripe for misuse, and it often was; Ludger knew firsthand.

     This particular outpost looked to be a bit of an odd case – independently managed, with less guards than usual. A group of four was stationed at the gate for payment collection and health examinations. What they lacked in number they made up with in intimidating artillery.

     A woman in glasses with two pistols strapped to her hip and a large hunting rifle on her back was narrowing the family units into thinner lines, sometimes by force. Next to her, an intimidating man in all black was taking what had been collected as toll from the other two figures, a mountain of a man and—

     “These are the guards?” Elle blurted. “One of them is a little girl!”

     “I think she’s just short, Elle,” Ludger whispered over the slightly unhinged stare of the fourth guard, the ‘little girl’ Elle pointed out. She had grey hair and a cute red dress—both fine, but what really stood out was the enormous, threatening machine gun strapped to her back. It was nearly as big as she was.

     Jude winced at Ludger’s reply, and Ludger blinked, before realizing that his response was not the whisper he intended it to be, but more of a shout. His ears had been ringing for the last mile. The girl had definitely heard both of them— heat rose to his face, almost as quickly as her machine gun.

     “Sorry!” He said (or rather, shouted) to the young girl.

     “I’d shoot you right now if you didn’t look so damn pathetic, loser!” was her gentle reply. She spat on the ground, as if spitting somehow made her older and more mature. It did not. Ludger swallowed.

     That said, she was right. He definitely did feel pathetic, barely standing, only staying upright through Elle and Jude’s help and sheer stubbornness.

     “Agria,” said the mountain. Ludger glanced up at his eyes, confident he was at least four Elles in size. “Refrain from pointing your gun at civilians.”

     “These guys don’t count as civilians. They count as bugs.”

     “Listen to Jiao.”

     A quiet, irritated voice came from the man dressed in all black. He had abruptly appeared behind the girl, Agria, but she didn’t seem phased in the slightest. She was waving her machine gun around concerningly.

     “Buzz off, Wingul. I’m not gonna actually shoot ‘em. I don’t shoot losers,” Agria stated, half to Wingul, half to the survivors that had started to retreat in terror.

     “You shoot zombies,” Wingul replied, voice dry.

     Agria paused, blinked a couple times, and then grinned in a way Ludger could only describe as demonic. “I guess I shoot some losers.”

     “Get a move on you three, you’re holding up the line, and Agria put your gun away.”

     The woman in glasses spoke up, which was impressive, because she was standing a good distance away from them and had her pistol on the back of a young man’s neck.

     Jeez, what the hell did he do? Ludger wondered, before noticing the bandages on the man’s shoulder. The realization was ice in his stomach. The infected man’s companion, a teenage girl, probably around fourteen or fifteen was pleading with the woman. Ludger’s mouth felt dry.

     “Please! You have to let him through! We don’t have anywhere else to stay for the night! He still has time, I promise—five days, at least!”

     The woman’s response was cold. “You can’t prove that. Get out, before I have to take care of him myself.”

     “Please! Just for one night!” the girl begged. She had fallen to her knees.  

     Ludger swallowed. He felt Jude’s eyes on him.

     Wingul interrupted any potential conversation, drawing the attention of the other observers in the line.

     “Infected, even early-stage, are not permitted behind the fence. If you are bitten, leave now. No exceptions.”  

     “Ludger, are you okay?” Jude asked, in his ear. His head felt foggy, knees weakening.

     “I don’t think I can stand much longer.”

     Jude’s arm wrapped around his waist, holding him up. It was embarrassing, but necessary.

     Wingul spoke again, issuing orders to the guards this time.

     “Jiao, take care of things here. Agria, with me - there are plenty of others in the line for you to irritate.”

     Jiao nodded grimly, stepping in front of them. His huge form blocked the scene from view completely.

     “You don’t get to order me around! I still have to check out this guy—”

     Ludger knew, even without looking, that Agria was pointing at him. Elle’s eyebrows drew together watching her.

     “I bet he’s hiding a big old bite mark under those bandages. You should be thanking me for being observant— don’t look at me like that, you boring old man,” Agria hissed. “I’m telling you, he’s a zombie in the making!”

     You might not be wrong, Ludger thought, half-hysterically, but held his tongue.

     Elle, on the other hand, had plenty of input to provide.

     “Stop bullying Ludger! He’s had a bad day and you shouldn’t bully people after they’ve had a bad day!”

     “Elle!” Ludger warned, alarmed.

     “No! You can’t stand on your own— that’s bad!” Elle shouted. She was reaching her breaking point, sweaty and exhausted. She was too old for temper tantrums and seldom had them anymore, but today seemed to be the exception for a lot of things. “You can’t just let people push you around because you’re scared of them, Ludger! They need to be nice to you because we’re guests, and you’re hurt!”

     Agria’s mouth was open, eyes wide. Wingul seemed greatly amused.

     “The young lady makes a point,” Jiao approved.

     “What do you know, you big bully?” replied Elle, chin pointed up. She looked very small, whole body dwarfed by this man’s shadow. Ludger felt his soul leave his body.

     Thankfully Jiao just laughed. “It’s not every day we see someone stand up to Agria, or to me. You’re a strong little girl, but be careful. Not everyone is kind here.”

     “Elle, please,” Jude spoke up this time. Ludger was relieved to find him calm, when he was about to start frantically apologizing. “Let’s all calm down. We don’t want any trouble.”

     “By the looks of it, you three couldn’t even handle trouble if it found you,” Wingul commented.

     Jiao stepped forward. “I’ll be collecting your toll, so if you could all head this way…”

     “Hey, what are they gonna do to that guy? He’s not hurting anybody right now,” Elle was walking alongside Jiao, evidently having deemed him not enough of a threat. Ludger was leaning against Jude’s shoulder, but he kept a hand on his gun. It was empty, but threatening enough, probably. He hoped.

     Jiao definitely noticed, eyes flicking to Ludger. He looked as if he were appraising a particularly unfortunate animal.

     “I’d like to know as well,” Jude said, and Ludger was surprised by the quiet edge of anger in his voice.

     “Right now,” Jiao clarified softly - to Elle - entirely avoiding Jude. “That man is not hurting anyone, but he will, in a short amount of time. We cannot trust him in the walls. We are the protectors of this shelter, and we can’t allow anyone, no matter who they are, to violate that safety.”

     Ludger felt Jude’s exhale. He was holding something back, but now was far from the time to discuss it. Jiao led them a few feet to the side. The line behind them had bulked up considerably. Ludger tried not to notice. He was so tired. His eyes slipped shut.

     Jude shook his shoulder. “Ludger.”

     Shit. “Sorry.”

     “It’s fine. Stay awake a little longer.”

     Elle was still chatting. “Well, what if it’s one of you or your friends?”

     “Even if it was one of us. No exceptions.”

     “Oh.”

     Her voice was quiet. Jiao seemed unfazed.

     Ludger was mercifully saved from having to weigh in by Jiao calmly asking them to take out their bags. He didn’t miss, however, the sound of a revolver being fired a short way behind them. Jiao didn’t look back.

     “A warning shot,” he said, clarifying to the group. “They will not kill him, if he leaves.”

     “But whatever is out there, will,” Jude replied.

     “He is already dead. Letting the undead into a safe zone puts everyone behind these walls at risk. Or would you rather be awoken by a horde of infected in the middle of the night?”

     Jude opened his mouth, then closed it. Disagreement was written all over his face, but he knew as well as Ludger did, that they needed the shelter. His gaze tilted downward, gloved fists clenched.

     Jiao spoke up. “It is time to collect your toll. Hand your bags to me, please.”

     Ludger bit the inside of his cheek and did as he was asked. Elle followed suit.

     The first time he had stayed at a camp like this, he was with Julius. Elle was still a baby, warm in his arms. The guards had taken all their food and water and pressed a knife to Julius’s throat when he argued against them. Lara had intended for Elle to have her necklace when she got older. They took that too.

     Julius’s gun was the greatest loss. At the time, it had been the only thing keeping them safe, and it had been taken from them, ruthlessly, without hesitation.

     Ludger didn’t have any sentimental items left. Jude seemed to be the same, handing over his doctor’s bag to the guard easily. That was the cost of safety.

     Elle’s backpack with the silly face looked ridiculous in the massive man’s hands, he sifted through it with three fingers before pulling out a small comb and handing it back to her.

     Ludger had looted the comb from a dollar store, back when Elle had her long hair. It was plain, cheap, and easily replaceable.

     His eyes narrowed, not trusting what he was seeing. That was it, from her?

     “Your bag next,” Jiao said, looking through Ludger’s bag in the same impassive way he had checked Elle’s. He pulled out a can of beans and put it in his sack next to the comb.

     “You like beans?” Elle asked.

     “Yes,” Jiao replied.

     “Me too,” mumbled Elle. She kept her hands on her hips. Ludger could have sworn he saw Jiao smile.

     Jude was next. Jiao’s eyes immediately went to the fancy gold gun. Ludger could feel Jude tense.

     “This is an expensive weapon. How did you get it?” Jiao asked. His voice had grown cold, Ludger wondered if he thought Jude had stolen it. The idea was preposterous.

     “It belonged to my friend.”

     “Sentimental value then?” Jiao asked. Jude nodded.

     “A lot,” his voice had gone quiet, the smallest hint of desperation sneaking in. “A lot of sentimental value.”

     Ludger winced, so Jude did have something he didn’t want to lose. Dangerous.

     The large man pulled out a syringe—it was a nice quality one. Judging by the clear conflict on Jude’s face, it was difficult to get ahold of, but less important to him than the gun.

     “This will do.”

     “What are you looking to use that for?” Jude asked. “It’s a good piece of equipment—"

     “That’s not your job to figure out,” the hardness had returned to Jiao’s voice. His tolls had been a joke, considering, but he was clearly not one to be argued with.

     Jude held his tongue. The man handed him back his bag which he slung over his shoulder.

     “Payment accepted. Now both of you, jackets off.”

     “We have to undress too?” Elle whispered.

     “By the looks of this one—” Jiao pointed a massive finger at Ludger. “—you three have seen some things. We can’t afford any risks.”

     Asking someone to remove their outer layers was a surprisingly difficult task. It was the peak of summer, yet Jude was wearing a full coat with a couple of button downs, and Elle had on a baggy cardigan over one of Ludger’s shirts, a dress, and leggings. Layers were as close to armor as they could manage when it came to dealing with the infected.

     Ludger pulled away from Jude to allow him to undress. He leaned against a nearby tree for support, shutting his eyes. For the first time today, he was glad to be without a shirt, if only to avoid having to take it off.

     By the time he opened them, Jude and Elle’s clothes had formed a small, but impressive pile.

     Jude looked somehow younger, and older at the same time, dressed down to a plain black undershirt. Without the tan coat, he no longer remotely resembled a doctor. In fact, his toned, gently muscular arms left a separate impression entirely.

     Ludger swallowed, politely looking away, as Jude rested his hand on the base of his undershirt.

     “This as well?”

     “You can keep the undershirt on,” Jiao said.

     Jude nodded, as Jiao looked them both over, checking for injury.

     “You’re both clean.”

     “Told you,” Elle said. “What about Ludger?”

     “I’m going to have to look at his arm, first.”

     Jude spoke up, “I have to advise against that. It recently reopened, and exposing it now could lead to worse blood loss—"

     “No look, no entry. Those are the rules.”

     “It’s fine,” Ludger said, too tired to argue. His fingers were already reaching for the bandage.

     “Let me,” Jude interjected. “You are a patient under my care and I don’t want to risk infection.”

     A patient? Ludger let his hands fall to his side. “Go ahead.”

     Jude stepped forward, carefully unraveling the now-red cloth he had placed on his arm hours earlier. Fresh blood was still coming out of the wounds.

     It hurt like hell still, but at this point, Ludger hardly felt it. Between the heat and the running, and the stress of the whole day, constant pain was just sort of a fact of life at this point.

     Jiao monitored Jude’s actions closely, looking over the wound carefully while Jude held his arm in place.

     “What is this from?”

     “Barbed wire,” Ludger mumbled, eyes half-lidded. God he just wanted to lay down. “Climbed a fence.”

     After a few painful minutes, possibly seconds, Ludger couldn’t be too sure. Jiao nodded.

     “Cover it up again, you can go through. I am handing you a number. You are to go to the spot with that number. Cause trouble, and you’ll be shot. No questions asked.”

     “Mm,” Ludger said, intelligently.

     Jude’s eyebrows raised, and it looked like he was considering saying something, but he didn’t. He rewrapped Ludger’s arm again, and they were pushed through the gate at last.

     It was crowded, but beautiful. If Ludger didn’t know any better, he would say it looked like a large amount of people having picnics. There was a farm house at the center of the compound, where Ludger figured the guards stayed. Their number led them to a small plot of land by an apple tree.

     That was really all he had time to notice before his legs finally gave out and he tipped face first into the grass.

     “Ludger!”

     Elle spoke up, unfazed. “It’s okay, he does that.”

     “Collapses?”

     “Yeah. Like this.”

     There was a quiet thump beside him, Elle laying down as well, probably.

     Jude’s voice was dubious. “Just be careful with your shoulder, Ludger,” he advised.

     “Mmhm,” Ludger replied. He half-opened his eyes to catch a glimpse of Jude laying a couple feet away. He was sleeping with his medical bag like someone would a teddy bear. Ludger was confused for a moment, before remembering to drag his own backpack under his head.

     Safe from thieves, for now.

     “Night Jude, night Ludger,” Elle said. She had curled a little closer to Ludger in a way he knew she’d deny in the morning.

     “Goodnight Elle,” they both replied.

     They were asleep in minutes.

[cs-discourse]

re: names

i was writing this and then something happened to my browser and i lost all progress. i’m not happy, so i will write more than what i initially had before. but yes this is name anon again, but without the proper capitalization because i’m on my phone and it’s 3:30 am at the time of submitting and i’m tired. i’m also here to clarify/comment on some things. if you think this is dumb, then fine, skip and don’t read, but google translate names have been one of my pet peeves for a while now. consider this a vent, then. this is also a lot longer than i thought it’d be. what bothers me about google translate names is not the length of the name, but rather the fact that most people tend to input a certain phrase/word and just use it as is for the name. again, that’s the case with 美丽的黄金 (mei li de huang jin) and beautiful gold. i’ve never once in my life seen 的 used in a name, seeing how it’s a character that indicates possession of something (so in this case, the gold possesses beauty). i’ve also never seen beauty written in full as 美丽 or gold as 黄金 in a name before. if you wanted a name to mean beautiful gold, you could’ve done some searching and found that hey, 美 (mei) is still beautiful and 金 (jin) is still gold! slap them together and you get 美金 (mei jin), which means beautiful gold and usd at the same time. now, i can’t speak for japanese people because i myself am not japanese, but i do think this doesn’t typically happen. sure, names can have weird and funny meanings! alcidesune gives a valid example, and i’ll provide one of my own: one of my aunts’ name would be “ten thousand have” if you were to roughly translate it into english. however, the character for ten thousand (万) is an existing surname, and the character for have (有) is also an existing given name - it can also be paired with another character to create a 2-character given name. at the same time, i’ve found that people who aren’t into ocs or creative writing tend to not care too much about the meaning behind names. my chemistry teacher recently asked the class what her friend should name her baby, and a classmate yelled out “grace”, which was her own name. my teacher then relayed the suggestion to her friend, and her friend said “sure” because it sounded nice. granted, grace itself is also an english word with a meaning, but this story serves my purpose enough. as i’ve mentioned before, i don’t care about length. chinese surnames can be anywhere from 1-2+ characters for the more common ones, and given names are typically 1 or 2 characters. at maximum, a “normal” name by today’s standards would likely have 4 characters. one of my great grandparents had a 5 character name, but they’ve passed away a long time ago, bless them. you don’t really see that around anymore. again, i can’t really speak for japanese people or the language, but i do know that their names have a similar structure to chinese names, although the character count may be more if any part of the name is written with hiragana or katakana instead of kanji. naruto’s full name is uzumaki naruto, written entirely in hiragana, which results in 7 characters. kirishima touka’s name is 4 characters in kanji. both the surname and given name are comprised of 2 characters, for the reason that neither kirishima or touka is an actual word. japanese names takes a word or part of a word, then fits them together to make something that typically isn’t harsh on the ears and has a nice meaning behind it. google tells me that chiyoko is a name, and that it means “thousand generation child”. it has 3 characters, 千for chi (thousand), 代 for yo (generation), and 子 for ko (child). i’m roughly guessing that this is how most japanese names are put together. yes, belle gold could be a name, but belle is already an established given name, so it doesn’t exactly fit the scenario set here. to me, giving a person/character a google translated name has the same energy as those parents who name their children things like “pikachu” or “chlamydia”. please don’t use either of the names above. one is a pokemon, and the other is a std. sure, in the end none of this really matters that much on a meat drink site, but doing research is always a good thing. if this doesn’t matter, then i don’t ever want to see people call out a published author for very literally naming a character 美丽的黄金 or cho chang or whatever the fuck jk rowling was smoking at the time. before anyone goes “there’s a difference!!” there’s really not, apart from the fact that one is published to the public, while the other is on a meat drink site. in both cases, the author is using a language from a culture that they’re not apart of. please do research. if i have more to say, i’ll write up another submission. thanks for bearing with me. - a mildly annoyed chinese person

[garrettauthor]

Feedback on trans rep appreciated:

If you’ve been around a while, you’ll know that I made a huge mistake with trans representation in The Mindmage’s Wrath, the second book in the Academy Journals. (If you haven’t, I did, and I apologize to you newly).

One thing I promised to do to address the issue was include a foreword in the book. I’ve now written that foreword and consulted with some trans readers in my Discord server. They suggested some improvements, which I implemented.

I’m opening it up for wider critique and input before I go to publish. Of course, there’s no obligation whatsoever to contribute. But if you’d be willing, I’d be eternally grateful. The foreword is under the cut:

FOREWORD

In this book, you’ll meet a character. Her name is Perrin of the family Arkus, and she is a new instructor at the Academy.

Perrin is also trans.

There’s a good chance, if you’re reading this, that you already know Underrealm was designed to be an inclusive and diverse fantasy world. That might be why you wanted to read it in the first place.

When I wrote Underrealm’s first series, the Nightblade Epic, I made the High King Enalyn, a trans woman. (For those who don’t know, “King” and “Queen” are gender-neutral terms, and there are kings and queens of various genders across the nine kingdoms.)

As with Perrin—or with most other Underrealm characters—her trans-ness was not a huge component of her story. It was simply a part of who she was. Many readers were pleased with the decision and liked seeing Enalyn in this world. But, too, some trans readers reached out to me with more information.

Enalyn’s experience is not universal. She is what we would call entirely “passing”—that is, you wouldn’t know she was trans if you met her on the street.

(I have to interject here: I, personally, really dislike the word “passing,” because it implies its own position towards one end of a spectrum, and the other end would be “failing.” This is a sentiment I have seen my trans readers express, and I share in their frustration. However, it’s not my word or my community. And for the purposes of this foreword, I’m not aware of another word that communicates the same idea as succinctly. I checked with readers before using it here, but it was the best any of us could do.)

Some trans people are not able to achieve a “passing” look for themselves. Others do not want to. People in both groups are entirely, 100% valid. And it seemed clear that they would like to see themselves in Underrealm as well.

Thus, Perrin. Perrin is trans, but she did not feel the need to transition to a “passing” standard. She was big—and I mean, truly big, all her life, and from her family she inherited a great, shaggy mass of hair. If you imagine a close relative of Hagrid from Harry Potter, but with a much sharper mind, you’d have a good idea of how I imagine her. Not that my imagination is anything but marginally more important than anyone else’s.

Just how far did she transition? Who knows. It’s not my business. Maybe she just shaves and wears feminine clothing. It doesn’t matter. She’s a trans woman.

And so she was introduced. Most of the readers who had come from the Nightblade Epic, and who had raised the issue with me in the first place, seemed pleased.

And then, earlier this year, the Academy Journals got a huge promotional boost online. A huge flood of readers found and began reading the series—partially because of the representation they had heard was in it.

These were brand-new readers. They had never read the Nightblade Epic, and they had never been involved in the discussion around Enalyn, and thus, Perrin.

I had made a huge mistake.

For reference, here is the paragraph that introduces Perrin:

There behind the lectern was, quite simply, the most massive woman he had ever seen. Her shoulders seemed to stretch as wide as Ebon’s arm span, and though the ceiling was at least a pace above her head, her stature made it seem that she might bump against it. Huge hands gripped the lectern’s edges and nearly enveloped it, and her dark grey instructor’s robes strained mightily to contain her frame. Her eyes seemed small compared to the rest of her ruddy features, yet they sparkled with interest even when the sunlight missed them. Ebon thought this woman looked nothing like a wizard, but rather a mighty warrior of campfire legend, stripped of armor and shrouded instead in cloth, against which her body tried to rebel.

That description made existing Underrealm readers, who cared about trans representation, say, “Oh, cool! She’s an absolute brick shithouse!” It’s a body type women aren’t often allowed to have in media. It is, I hope, its own sort of progressive statement to have a woman like this appear in a story, and never, for one second, have anyone question her identity or her femininity.

Without all of the context I’ve presented here, however, it could also be interpreted that this description is how I view trans women in general.

This point was brought up by a reader who was wonderfully thoughtful and, despite speaking in a moment of pain that I myself had caused, exceptionally kind. They were also willing to converse with me about how to remedy the situation, though they were under no obligation to do so. The feedback that they and others provided was incredibly invaluable, and I am eternally grateful to everyone who has weighed in. Yes, even those who were angry with me. Can you blame them?

I’d like to stress that I don’t want to justify or minimize this mistake. I was trying to handle a problem, and that specific problem was addressed, to the satisfaction of those who had brought it up. After the problem came up, someone suggested I change Perrin’s description, that I make her smaller, more “typically” feminine, more “passing.” I didn’t want to do that, for obvious reasons. To do so would leave some of my own readers out in the cold.

But it was my responsibility, as a creator, to foresee that my solution would create this new problem. I didn’t predict that. That’s not okay, and it’s entirely my responsibility.

After a lot of conversations with people who, again, weren’t obligated to help me, and to whom I am exceptionally grateful, here is what I promised to do to fix the situation:

Early in the next Academy Journals book, I’m going to introduce at least one other trans character who will counterpoint Perrin the same way Enalyn was supposed to.

In the next book, I will handle the “reveal” of Perrin’s transness. Now, I already decided long ago that no trans character was going to be “outed”—i.e., revealed against their will. That will still be the case. I will figure out a way for Perrin to bring it up in a conversation that is natural and which Perrin can discuss on her own terms. There is absolutely no transphobia in Underrealm, and this conversation will reflect that.

I will use the above reveal to explicitly address the concerns about how Perrin was first introduced and characterized, using it as a lesson to teach non-trans readers that the way a trans person presents is no business of anyone else and is not a refutation of their gender identity. I will, again, do this in a way that contains no transphobia, and makes it entirely a matter of Perrin’s agency.

In the books I write before the next Academy Journals book, I will ensure to include multiple new trans characters representing a variety of genders and body types to further stress the diversity that exists within the trans community.

Finally, I am going to work harder to find and work with more trans authors and trans sensitivity readers. We have some, but I could clearly use more.

As another reader brought up, while these steps may go towards addressing the problem, they still don’t help any new readers who may read The Mindmage’s Wrath without having broader context for trans people in Underrealm.

And thus, this foreword.

When you meet Perrin in this story, I want you to know that she is trans. I want you to know that her appearance, though unconventional in our world, was of her own choosing. And I want you to know that she is not the single representative of trans people or trans culture—no one is. She is part of a wide spectrum of sizes, shapes, and presentations, all of which are valid, all of which are worthy.

She is a trans woman. She is a woman.

There have been no new Academy Journals books since I made the above promises, but they are coming Soon™. In the meantime, if you want to read about other trans characters within Underrealm, I’d recommend our new series, Tales of the Wanderer. The first book, Blood Lust, can be purchased here:

https://underrealm.net/tow1

The narrator of the book, Albern of the family, is a trans man. Future books in that series will have more trans characters.

Albern is also a guest-starring character in two books of the Nightblade Epic, Darkfire and Shadeborn, as well as the short story The Man and the Satyr.

Also in Shadeborn, you will meet the High King Enalyn, a trans woman. She appears again in the novel Weremage.

And there are many more to come.

If you have been a reader for some time, thank you for your patience as I learn how to do this better. If the Academy Journals is your first introduction to Underrealm, welcome. I hope that you enjoy your time here, and that you appreciate the wide, diverse range of characters you’ll find within. I know I sure do.

Garrett Robinson September, 2018

[littleredroseonthevalley]

St. Catherine of Alexandria

Or, The Piety of the Seamstress

Summary: A few days after the party, Ernest finds himself alone with Miss Beauchamp once more.

Rating: M -  Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language.

Words: 1855

Notes: This is a little different from what I’ve been doing so far with all those saints (Mary Magdalene, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Paul and Jeremiah). Instead of St. Catherine to be a stand-alone like all of those, this is a direct sequel from  St. Paul.

I decided to do this due to a request two weeks ago (yeah, I’m mercurial like that) from @mrsernestsinclaire for some kind of confrontation between Ernie Honey and Susan, so he could understand why she blew him on the woods that one time. I rather liked the idea, and ended up cooking this up. I hope you all enjoy it!

Historical facts: the women who arranged matches for ‘fallen women’ in Northern France were, according to my grandmother, called ‘seamstresses’, because they ‘sew matches’.

It is also true that ‘fine literature’ had strong relations to folk stories. The collecting fever of those stories, fairytales, was still to come, but many European books are based on stories the common people told one another, and many of those were based on plots of books they heard about or plays that were performed on the streets, including the foreword for this fanfiction, The Act of the Ship of Hell.

“I ask thee on my knees! Care for I have lice, angel of the Lord, my Rose? For I am the generous provider for the girls at order of the canons of the See…

Consider me, on thy Faith, my love, my blooms, white as fine, little pearls! And I am presentable, in healthy constitution and fair skin, and I have done many a virtuous acts.

Saint Ursula could not convert as many girls as I: all saved by mine, none has strayed. To the Lord above, I swear, all could find their place. Think thee I faltered on my watch? For I have not lost the stitch on my needle!”

~ The Act of the Ship of Hell, The Procuress, 1517

The unsuspecting gentleman of his time could think a commoner, newly-elevated to the condition of noblewoman, would prefer to take advantage of the more gregarious aspects of her new position in life. To converse at length about nothing in particular, to gorge on flavourful food and to practice her former trade on an informal setting.

He would argue that the enlightening of the mind is a hard enough task for a man trained his whole life. What hope could have a barely-literate peasant just out of the hovels? A woman, no less?

Susan is glad she lived in such retrograde world, she was more than happy to surround herself with bigoted, near-sighted men who take her as nothing but a fat income wrapped around a pretty face.

Bring out the people who are blind, yet have eyes, who are deaf, yet have ears, Isaiah said, and Susan endorses. The stupidity of others is what furthers her position; it is their ignorance that cloaks her acts.

It is the discredit of her intelligence, of her very own literacy, that makes the library such a great place to hide from the dreaded circle of embroidery held by her despicable mother-in-law. It is the general mist of mediocrity that hangs low in Edgewater that grants the library its peaceful air.

Her afternoon was to be spent with a tall glass of water and an entertaining farce one of her former correspondents had indicated for her amusement, and her natural father had a copy hidden between the volumes in his care.

A nice way to see the Saturday tickle by, if any happen to ask her sincere input.

Her plans were interrupted, however, by a sudden interruption on her peace, in form of Mr Sinclaire’s barging into the library.

The young lady had to concede her presence there was unnoticed by her own kin, it was not fair of her to demand of Mr Sinclaire the forethought to predict her presence in the room, and he did have the decency to appear embarrassed by his actions.

“My apologies, Lady Susan.” He says, prostrate. “I was told the library would be empty.”

“No worries, Mr Sinclaire. What brings you to Edgewater this afternoon?” She asks, a soft smile gracing her features.

It was amusing to her seeing how soft men became once she was responsible for one of their releases. Even the brutish seaman on the docks of England became meek once a wiry madam satisfied his urges.

Any men was a guarantee for an entertaining spectacle, but dour, lonely sorts like Mr Sinclaire were remarkably so. Lady Susan has pulled the weights; she wagered it is time, now, to reap the results.

“I am in need of a book, milady, and your father had been kind enough to let me peruse his library in search of it.” He responds to her earlier questioning. “I wish to be no bother to your reading, perhaps I ought to return another time.”

Ah, so he was afraid to be alone with her again, she concludes. One might suppose it is unavoidable, due to the intransigence of his values compared to the frailty of his resolve.

“Why waste the soles of your shoes, Mr Sinclaire, by taking such a long walk unnecessarily?” She wonders, drawing him in with her voice. “Please, come in, I will help you finding what you desire.”

The blond man cocks his head in agreement. “Very well, Lady Susan. I gladly accept your assistance.”

He steps into the room, but leaves the door open. Noticing it to be a clever scheme to contain her, if he could not be contained, she was more deviant than that.

“Shut the door, please.” Her tone leaves no opening for dissent. “The bustle from the house bothers my concentration.”

He looks wary at the command, but obeys.

“I require a treaty on parasitic fungi, Lady Susan. Preferably a modern one, if you can find.” The esquire asks. “Would you be kind enough to look for it on that side of the room while I search for it in here?”

“There is no need for such, Mr Sinclaire. I remember to have seen a book on agricultural methods the other day I think should fit your necessity quite fine.” She says, while walking over to one of the shelves. “I fear Edgewater’s library has been deeply neglected the last few years. I’ve been trying to establish some order to the volumes, but I often have trouble even deciding where should I start.”

He nods. “It is, indeed, a shame the state of this library. You must have noticed the countess is not given to the letters, and the earl has much to be concerned to dedicate himself to the extensive care it demands.”

“You shall hear no disagreement from me.” She says as she plucks a book from the shelf. “Here it is. Considerations on the Famine of 1775. It is an eclectic volume, but it should give you directions on fungicide techniques.”

“I thank you, milady.” He nods his head, respectfully. “I am sure it will be of use. May I be so bold and ask what has taken your interest this afternoon?”

The brunette noblewoman shows him the lean book. “It is a medieval play, The Farce of Master Pathelin.”

“I cannot say I am familiar with it.” The esquire admits.

She chuckles, softly. “I did not expect you to. It is an uncommon title, I was lucky enough for my father to have a copy.”

His pride slightly hurt, Ernest scoffs and asks, “And how do you happen to know of it, then?”

“Silly highborns.” Susan shakes her head in derision. “You think the republic of letters is your restricted domain. The peasants go to the theatre, too, Mr Sinclaire, and they tell stories men of culture haughtily transcribe and call their own. I may barely escaped the spike, but I’ve been to this world about as much as you, and I wager I gathered just as much knowledge as you.”

Properly censored, he walks back his argument and humbly asks, “Have I offended you, Lady Susan?”

“No. It is I who should modulate my expectations with our reality.” She responded, lightly. “I tire of this conversation, Mr Sinclaire. Especially because I know this is a poorly calculated subterfuge to keep yourself from asking what you really want to know.”

“I-I do not know what you mean, Lady Susan, and I would prefer if you contained yourself this time.” He stutters, while taking a step back.

The woman smiles wickedly. “This time, huh? Yes, this is exactly what I mean. You want to know why I did what I did to you by the pond, and you would like for me to do it again.”

“That is preposterous!” He raises his voice, but it does not come to a shout. “I am an upstanding member of polite society, Lady Susan. I do not think of these vile acts, and I certainly do not desire to have them performed.”

She giggles and sits comfortably back in her armchair. “An upstanding man, yes, but a man first and foremost. A man with wants. It is all correct, Mr Sinclaire, it is the way of the nature.”

The esquire scoffs. “It might be the way of nature, but is not the way of the righteous. I would appreciate if you kept your deviant reasoning to yourself.”

“Have anyone ever tell you about my mother’s trade, Mr Sinclaire?” She raises to her feet and paces around the room.

“It is said she was a seamstress.” He responds, slightly confused.

“Yes, indeed, she was a seamstress.” She smiles at him, not in the way of comforting his raging nerves but to excite them further. “Do you know what a seamstress do?”

The blond rolls his eyes and responds, with a degree of sarcasm, “I am to assume they sew fabric, Lady Susan.”

“Some do, yes, especially in the realm of proper men.” She counters, willfull. “The lowborn, however, they have a special kind of seamstress. They, like my mother, disguise the loss of virtue of unmarried women and sew them matches, they arrange for the fruits of their so-called sins to vanish, and they protect the defenceless.”

“Lady Susan, I…” He starts to say, but she holds up her hand and motions for his silence.

The brunette walks closer to him, rounding him like a lion ready to pounce in its prey.

“As the years go by, Mr Sinclaire, I find men that excite my senses, that stake a claim to my attention and my good wishes. You happen to be one of them.” She says, with an unreadable expression. “To answer your question, I did it because I enjoy giving as much as you enjoy receiving.”

“Why?” He whispers. “It is a foul act.”

She shrugs delicately. “It is an acquired taste, I suppose. In time, I could teach you to enjoy giving as well, but I digress. The fact stands that I do what I do because I feel like it. For now, we have only scratched the surface of the things we can do together, but you should know there is nothing to fear. I, too, know how to sew.”

Susan walks over to his standing figure, cornered by the window of the library, and presses her body against his. She feels his swollen virility pressed against her uterus, and teases him by passing her thumb softly over his lips, a simulation of what she could do.

“I will tell you not whether I have already lost my natural hymen. In the future, when we go to the races, if you grace yourself to propose, and I see fit to concur, then it is all correct. Though, if you do not, then there is way to have it appear like nothing ever happened.”

She raises to her feet, as in to match his unordinary height and whispers on his ear: “Let yourself go, Mr Sinclaire. I will wait for your call, I am a patient woman, but do not make me wait too long.”

The woman returns her heel to the ground and gives Ernest some space. With a final deviant smile, she walks to the armchair and fetches her book and her chalice filled with water.

“Enjoy your reading, Mr Sinclaire.” Susan says, and leaves him alone in the room.

Taglist: @catlady0911; @choicesyouplayandmore; @cocomaxley; @llholloway; @mrsernestsinclaire; @shelivesinthewoods; @tornbetween2loves

[yegarts]

"I Am YEG Arts" Series: Yang Lim

Promotional image for Shifting Articulations of Asian-ness in Contemporary Canada, curated by Yang Lim. Photo provided by the artist.

As an independent curator, Yang Lim encourages audiences to step outside their usual frames of reference and see things a little bit differently. Through exhibitions that explore themes of heritage, memory, language, agency, and the contemporary Asian experience, Yang hopes to be a catalyst for conversation, while challenging the homogenization of diverse experiences.  As digital platforms continue to gain popularity, Yang continues to push curatorial boundaries and explore new ways to bring the traditional gallery experience to online audiences around the world. This week’s "I Am YEG Arts” story focuses on Yang Lim.

Tell us about your connection to Edmonton and what keeps you living and working here.

Initially I moved here for educational reasons, but I also have family here, so that’s a big reason for me to stay in Edmonton. But also, after I came here, I volunteered with various artistic cultural organisations around town over the years and I liked the vibe of the city as well. I think that’s certainly a contributing factor for me staying here.

I know that Edmonton has been called "Festival City”. That’s the thing that struck me about Edmonton – there are all these festivals and things happening, literally back-to-back during certain times of the year too.  That’s certainly an attractive aspect about Edmonton. And of course, in the winter months there are still things happening that cater to every taste.

You recently wrapped the online exhibit: Shifting Articulations of Asian-ness in Contemporary Canada. Tell us more about the experience of curating such a large online exhibition.

This was an interesting challenge in part because, up until that point, most of what I had been doing in terms of curating were conventional on-site, in-person exhibitions. There was a learning curve when I went through this project, but it’s been a good learning experience as there are several behind-the-scenes components that I didn’t necessarily think about before for the online platform. For example, you aren’t dealing with things such as a physical space – in an in-person exhibition, you have your square footage of how much space you have and you also have to navigate that space in terms of putting up the artwork, deciding how it’s going to be displayed, and so on. You don’t have that necessarily for an online exhibition. But at the same time, you’re still dealing with the spatial issue in a sense, except that it’s in the context of a website. So, there are similar concerns, but manifested in a different form. I would ask questions such as: What’s the aesthetic? What impression do I want to give people when they first come to the website? What might attract them to stick around and explore?

The other interesting thing I had to deal with was the different mediums from the participating artists, so I had to consider how to best represent them on my exhibit website. It was an ongoing collaboration that involved getting input from the artists about what they wanted to see and how they preferred their work to be shown, while working with the constraints of an online medium. There was ongoing communication between me and the artists, and also the website designer I was working with, so after much back and forth throughout the whole process it worked out well. I think, overall, the artists were quite pleased with what came out of it.

I also wanted to ensure people could access the website and navigate around easily, regardless of how they viewed it. In a conventional, physical exhibition you just go to the space, but in an online platform someone might look at it on their laptop, phone, desktop computer, or tablet, so I didn’t want to inadvertently exclude anyone from accessing it. That aspect was taken care of quite well through the website design process as the exhibition website was viewable in all sorts of devices, which was good to see.

Images from the online exhibition Shifting Articulations of Asian-ness in Contemporary Canada. Photos provided by the artist.

Were there any surprise learnings, challenges, or opportunities in curating an online exhibition?

Throughout this process of building this exhibition, I was thinking about what I could do in an online platform that is not possible in an onsite exhibition. For example, one of the artists displayed some illustrations, and we added browsing functionality so that you could click and zoom in to the image. Another artist had a video that was embedded, so you could then click it and show it full screen. These are the sorts of things that were part of my thinking process around how I could take advantage of in this online medium, which also allows people to customise their viewing experience.

At the same time, there are downsides to any platform. One of the things with the online platform is that, admittedly, you don’t have the in-person interaction that you may have, say when you go in a gallery space and have that spontaneous conversation with other people.  As a result, the online context does have its pros and cons that arise from using it to exhibit art.

What was it about these artists’ works that led you to select this group of artists for the exhibition? 

These artists’ works had intriguing points of connection, so I thought that it would be worthwhile to exhibit them together because they all deal with ideas pertaining to heritage, memory, language, and agency. They were exploring these concepts in ways that connected with their gender identities as well, either directly or indirectly. For example, one artist’s video in the exhibition deals with domestic labour and matrilineal inheritance. Another artist explores their racialized queer identity by revisiting memorable places in their hometown. And a few other works in this exhibit dealt with articulation and language. When you think about language—the mother tongue, native tongue—there’s that connotation of passing on one’s language through the generations.

I thought that it was important to draw attention to their work in a cohesive way because there are more and more artists from diverse backgrounds who are producing very interesting work across Canada. There’s still more that can be done to make their work more visible, including those produced by artists of Asian backgrounds.

What does community mean to you, and where do you find it?

At a basic level, I think of community in terms of where I am geographically located, which is in Edmonton. But I would include, in that idea of “community,” people who are supportive of what I do but who might not live here, such as those people whom I’ve established networks and connections with. In a sense I'm seeing community as something that is virtual or hybrid. It’s about having that space where I can feel my work is appreciated or making an impact in some way or contributing to the artistic discourse.

Community, for me, is also about the potential audience that I may have for my work.  It's both sides – the community as a people who are supportive, giving that context to produce, but also the flip side, those who are receiving what you’re producing, and engaging them in the conversation. I think there are different levels of understanding around what community is. It can range from the micro-specific context to something broader as well.

Yang Lim's new online exhibition Cinematic Disruptions: Asian Diasporic Communities in Motion opens this week, running from January 26 to March 11. Photo provided by the artist.

Tell us a little about what you’re currently working on or hoping to explore next.

Currently, I’m working on Cinematic Disruptions: Asian Diasporic Communities in Motion, which is also an online exhibition but focuses specifically on film and video. It's in the same vein as my previous exhibitions as it’ll highlight the experiences and perspectives of Asian communities. Thinking historically about how Asian communities have been represented in film and television, it has certainly improved over the years. You see shows like Kim’s Convenience, Fresh Off the Boat, Crazy Rich Asians, to name a few. We’re seeing more representations of people from these communities, which is good to see, but I always look in terms of what more could be done? In some ways, it’s still lacking. An example of this would be fantasy and science fiction. How are Asian people represented there?

This exhibition draws together some people whose work is representing these experiences and perspectives in thought-provoking ways. Hopefully, they will entice people to think, get them to step outside what they are accustomed to viewing, and maybe intrigue them to explore some more. In fact, one of the works I’ve included in the exhibition is a science fiction short film. There’s also another one that could be considered a surreal film representing the immigrant experience, but it’s done in a very unusual way. It defies categorization in some ways, and I think that’s a good thing as it’s testing the boundaries of how we think Asian communities are depicted.

I’d be curious to know about peoples’ thoughts on these films. What drew me to them was that they’re different from what I’ve seen before. They are working within recognizable genres and styles – there's science fiction, drama, more reflective pieces, and documentaries. My approach in this exhibition is similar to what I’ve done before, where I’m drawing together different genres, because I think there are interesting connections you can make when you group works together rather than if you’re viewing them separately.

What excites you most about the YEG arts scene right now?

There are increasingly interesting artistic interventions and other creative things happening in Edmonton. I think part of this is that bigger cities may have an oversaturation of organizations and groups, while Edmonton doesn’t seem to have that same oversaturation. Because of this, I think that this opens the door for interesting creative practices and interventions, which you might not necessarily get if you’re living in a place that is overly centralized or dominated by certain institutions. It’s nice to see creative manifestations happening in places you might not have seen a decade or two ago. The city’s pop-up events and activities add to its creative flavour as well.

Looking towards the future, the pandemic has affected everyone’s lives in a lot of ways, but one positive development is that you see businesses, the arts, and other sectors that are taking advantage of the online platform to connect and produce content. I’m interested to see where that goes in terms of what potential exists for the arts to leverage online platforms. We would still have our in-person events, exhibits, and activities of course—we still want those to continue! -- but we can also incorporate that online dimension to bring in traditional audiences that are interested in creative output in Edmonton, and also attract new audiences. Someone may not necessarily think of visiting an art gallery, but perhaps they might see something online, either deliberately or accidentally. Sometimes accidents are a good thing. I think there’s interesting potential there to attract people to the arts that can feed into increased audiences to physical locations too. Hopefully, what I’m doing in terms of these online exhibits are feeding into that and getting people to think about new, interesting ways that can supplement what we do already with in-person activities, talks, and exhibits to build our audiences.

Want more YEG Arts Stories? We’ll be sharing them here and on social media using the hashtag #IamYegArts. Follow along! Click here for updates on Yang’s new exhibition. 

Photo from the 2019 exhibition Negotiating “Asian-ness” in Canada which was part of The Works Art and Design Festival. Photo provided by the artist.

About Yang Lim

Yang Lim is an independent curator based in Edmonton, AB, whose practice engages with diverse perspectives around timely topics in contemporary society and artists who work out of a variety of geographical, cultural, and discursive contexts. He is also interested in innovative approaches to curating that can broaden the public reach of art.  

Yang’s recent exhibition Shifting Articulations of Asian-ness in Contemporary Canada broadened the conversation around “Asian-ness” and highlighted diverse perspectives within Canada’s Asian communities. His next exhibition, Cinematic Disruptions - Asian Diasporic Communities in Motion, broadens the conversation around “Asian-ness” and complicates what it means to be part of the Asian diaspora. It features eleven creators of Asian heritage who work with the film and video mediums. Their works convey diverse and complex representations of Asian diasporic communities’ experiences that complicate existing representations in mainstream and popular culture. The exhibition runs January 26 to March 11.

[umyikesiguess]

“You don’t need dysphoria to be transgender.”

“You don’t need dysphoria to be trans.” 

This is a sentence that can make people feel strongly. This is a sentence that has sparked up countless debates. People push and pull on either side of the argument until the sentences exchanged dissolve into petty insults; into worthless exchanges. No one seems to get anywhere.

I think the biggest problem here is that lots of people see this as an open debate, when in reality there truly is only one correct side. This correct side has scientific analysis and data to back up their reasoning, while the other side simply makes claims based off of their own opinions of what exactly gender is. Definitions are not taken into account. Data is not taken account. The only thing taken into account is one’s own warped definitions, opinions, and sick ideas of “inclusivity.”  

Another problem that usually arises is truscum leave areas of the conversation open, instead of closing and filling in all of the gaps. This leads tucutes to jab at areas where the argument has not yet been developed, only briefed upon for fleeting moments. They take words and twist them, purposefully misunderstanding them to make up for their lack of any real argument.

So here, in this post, I will leave nothing up to debate (well, you can still express your opinion and explain why or why not you agree or disagree with me, but factually, I will be correct), I will tie all loose ends. I will cite my sources and be thorough. I will fill in the gaps.

Truscum, terf, tucute, feminist, transphobe, lgbt, cishet, and so on, I welcome you all to read this post and give me your input.

Now, onto the main post: You need dysphoria to be transgender.

Firstly, let’s get some definitions out of the way.

Google defines the word “Transgender” as, ‘denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.’

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word as, ‘of, relating to, or being a person whose gender identity differs from the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth; especially : of, relating to, or being a person whose gender identity is opposite the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth.’ (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/transgender)

“Gender” is defined by Google as, ‘the state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones).’

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “Gender” as, ‘the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex.’

The term “Gender Dysphoria” is defined by Google as, ‘the condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one's biological sex.’

And by Merriam-Webster Dictionary as, ‘a distressed state arising from conflict between a person's gender identity and the sex the person has or was identified as having at birth; also : a condition marked by such distress.’

Keep in mind (tucutes especially), I am not choosing to define these words the way that they have been defined. These definitions have been worded carefully and are based upon factual evidence. How you or I may define these terms is irrelevant, because these are the correct definitions, and they have already been decided upon. Unless new data comes up stating otherwise, which I doubt will happen, these definitions are static.

Now that we have defined these key terms, we should move on to the argument, and it’s simple, this sentence will sum it up: You need dysphoria to be transgender.

Why, though? Isn’t being transgender just an identity? And can’t anyone identify as whatever they please? And after all, gender is on a spectrum, and non-dysphoric transgenders aren’t hurting anyone. Maybe truscum should stop being gatekeepers---the LGBT community doesn’t need that kind of negativity.

These are common arguments I see tucutes making. First, I’m going to address the “why?”

Now, my favourite place to gather information from is the DSM. If you’re not already aware, the DSM stands for Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM) (and before we go any further, I do want to say that the DSM I’m using for reference is two editions out of date. The current version of the DSM does not include transgenderism in it, as the DSM stopped considering it a mental illness in 2013 [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/where-transgender-is-no-longer-a-diagnosis/]. Furthermore, recently the WHO (World Health Organization) changed the classification of transgenderism, following in the DSM’s footsteps, just five years after the fact. However, despite the fact that my references are slightly out of date, I assure you they are reliable sources, and that the diagnosis that I present is still valid.) The DSM is basically just a big book of diagnoses for any and all mental illnesses. It is a book used religiously by psychiatrists, and me too.

The DSM I’ll be using for reference is the DSM-III (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-009-9562-y) (which by the way, links countless references that you can check out.) In this book, we see the diagnostic criteria for transsexualism (transgenderism, GID, GD, or GI, whichever term you choose to use is fine. Though some of these terms may be classified as out of date, they all mean the same thing) as (a) sense of discomfort and inappropriateness about one’s anatomic sex, wish to be rid of one’s own genitals and to live as a member of the other sex, the disturbance has been continuous (not limited to periods of stress) for at least 2 years, absence of physical intersex or genetic abnormality, not due to another mental disorder, such as Schizophrenia.

Here what we see is what I’ll call The Pattern of Distress.

Now, if the criteria provided by the DSM doesn’t cut it for you, then let’s take a look at some other symptoms of transgenderism.

Psychology Today has this to say about transgenderism.

‘Gender dysphoria (formerly gender identity disorder) is defined by strong, persistent feelings of identification with the opposite gender and discomfort with one's own assigned sex that results in significant distress or impairment. People with gender dysphoria desire to live as members of the opposite sex and often dress and use mannerisms associated with the other gender. For instance, a person identified as a boy may feel and act like a girl. This incongruence causes significant distress, and this distress is not limited to a desire to simply be of the other gender, but may include a desire to be of an alternative gender.’

(https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/gender-dysphoria)

Now, what I want to address first is what I called the Pattern of Distress.

From each symptom of transsexualism, we see one consistent thing: Distress is caused by one’s biological sex. This is the key symptom of transsexualism, and this distress is otherwise known as Gender Dysphoria.

“A sense of discomfort and inappropriateness:” Distress. “Wish to be rid of one’s own genitals:” Distress. “The disturbance is continuous:” Distress.

All of these symptoms include distress. This distress is Gender Dysphoria, which is needed to transgender. You know why? Because distress is a key symptom of being transgender, and distress is equivalent to Gender Dysphoria.

Transgenderism and Gender Dysphoria are synonymous. Which is another thing I want to briefly touch on. In the medical world, these two words are, more or less, the same, and warrant the same diagnosis.

So, I think I’ve proved my point significantly. There’s no way around it: Gender Dysphoria is needed to be transgender.

Now, let’s move on to arguments I see tucutes commonly using. The most used argument that I’ve seen is anyone can identify themself however they please. The only way to be transgender is to identify as it. However, this argument lacks any evidence to support it.

Firstly, this implies that being transgender is simply a choice. If all you have to do is identify as transgender to be transgender then hypothetically, anyone could be transgender. And then, if being transgender is a choice, that would mean that it’s not a serious condition, and therefore things like top surgery, bottom surgery, and HRT would no longer be covered by insurance, and would be classified as cosmetic procedures. There would also no longer be a medical diagnosis for transgenderism, and it would not be a valid disorder, because, after all, you can just identify yourself as transgender and then you are. By that logic, being transgender is clearly just a choice and a choice does not warrant the need for a diagnosis.

Furthermore, what would be the incentive for people to not discriminate against people who identify themselves as transgender? After all, who would make a conscious decision to become the other gender. Who would pay thousands of dollars to mutilate themself in an irreversible way. Who would want those pink, puffy scars on their chest, or the pain of taking hormones? Surely only a freak would. So again I ask: What would the incentive be? (Also any discrimination would not even be classified as such because being transgender would a choice.)

See, this wishy washy idea that anyone can be transgender as long as they identify that way is extremely dangerous. It’s important to consider the consequences before we decide that being blindly all-inclusive is a good idea. We must consider the risks that these ideas pose. All of them.

But, now, let’s go into why someone can’t just identify as transgender and...be it.

First we must ask the question: Why is someone transgender? What makes this disorder valid?

The simple answer here is that there is an observable neurological difference between the transgender brain, and the cisgender brain.

‘In particular, researchers are identifying similarities and differences between aspects of the structure and function of the brains of trans- and cisgender individuals that could help explain the conviction that one’s gender and natal sex don’t match.

The results may not have much effect on how gender dysphoria is diagnosed and treated, notes Baudewijntje Kreukels, who studies gender incongruence at VU University Medical Center in Amsterdam. “It’s really important that it will not be seen as, ‘When you see [gender dysphoria] in the brain, then it’s true.’” But the insights from such research could go a long way toward satisfying the desire of some transgender people to understand the roots of their condition, she adds. “In that way, it is good to find out if these differences between them and their sex assigned at birth are reflected by measures in the brain.”’ (https://www.the-scientist.com/features/are-the-brains-of-transgender-people-different-from-those-of-cisgender-people-30027)

‘Several studies have looked for signs that transgender people have brains more similar to their experienced gender. Spanish investigators—led by psychobiologist Antonio Guillamon of the National Distance Education University in Madrid and neuropsychologist Carme Junqu Plaja of the University of Barcelona—used MRI to examine the brains of 24 female-to-males and 18 male-to-females—both before and after treatment with cross-sex hormones. Their results, published in 2013, showed that even before treatment the brain structures of the trans people were more similar in some respects to the brains of their experienced gender than those of their natal gender. For example, the female-to-male subjects had relatively thin subcortical areas (these areas tend to be thinner in men than in women). Male-to-female subjects tended to have thinner cortical regions in the right hemisphere, which is characteristic of a female brain. (Such differences became more pronounced after treatment.)’ (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-there-something-unique-about-the-transgender-brain/)

The cause of these neurological differences is not yet known, and it is extremely difficult to pinpoint where they stem from, however, it is speculated that it starts from the development of the baby in the mother’s womb.

‘One prominent hypothesis on the basis of gender dysphoria is that sexual differentiation of the genitals occurs separately from sexual differentiation of the brain in utero, making it possible that the body can veer in one direction and the mind in another. At the root of this idea is the notion that gender itself—the sense of which category one belongs in, as opposed to biological sex—is determined in the womb for humans. This hasn’t always been the scientific consensus. As recently as the 1980s, many researchers argued that social norms in how we raised our children solely dictated the behavioral differences that developed between girls and boys.’ (https://www.the-scientist.com/features/are-the-brains-of-transgender-people-different-from-those-of-cisgender-people-30027)

So, if there is a clear difference between the brain of a cisgender person and of a transgender, and this clear difference is the cause of Gender Dysphoria, then that means that you cannot just identify as trans and just be it. You must have the transgender brain (which causes Gender Dysphoria) to be trans.

Now, onto the whole, “gender is on a spectrum” myth.

There’s this idea that’s been going around that is less than factually correct, yet it spread like wildfire simply because it allowed Tumblr’s narrative on gender to flourish.

Is gender on a spectrum? No. Biologically, there are only two genders, and there always will be. Now, I know some people will be happy to argue that gender is different from sex (I used to be one of those people), and while there are only two sexes, there can be millions of genders. And gender isn’t biological; it can shift and change...but this simply isn’t right. (Take a look at the definition of “Gender” again.)

You see, there is a clear difference between the male and female brain (this is part of the reason why transgenderism is valid.) An example of this is brainmass; a male brain is slightly larger than a female’s (for more information on the neurological differences between the sexes, you can read this wiki article, though it is a little dry https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroscience_of_sex_differences.) And (with the exception of intersex people) you will either have a female brain or male brain. Your brain will usually correspond with your sex, the only exception to this is transgender people, who have a brain that acts more like that of the opposite sex.

Therefore, gender is not on a spectrum. Nor is is a feeling. Nor is it something that can shift or change. Gender is innate; biological; ingrained in you from birth. And though it’s fun to think that you can shift throughout the “gender spectrum,” and be a boy one day and a girl the next, it is impossible.

(I think people are mistaking gender with gender expression. These are two separate things.)

“But non-dysphoric transgenders aren’t hurting anyone. Let people live!”

See: Firstly, this implies that being transgender is simply a choice…

The last argument I’ve come across is that truscum are gatekeeping, and I’m gonna give it to you straight: We are. And we have to. You know why? Because we cannot blindly accept everyone into the trans community. The more we accept non-valid trans people into the community, the more we water down what it means to be transgender. The more we water down the severity of the condition. The more our community becomes a joke to society. And the more we are at risk to the demedicalization of transgenderism, to the shift of surgeries and HRT from medical procedures to cosmetic. The more we are risk to discrimination not even being classified as such.

All of these are things clear issues that come along with supporting a factually incorrect narrative. I understand that wanting to include everyone stems from a place of kindness; of not wanting to hurt anyone, but sometimes people need to be told “no.” They need to know where they belong and where they don’t, and they need to understand that being transgender is not quirky, cute, or fun. It’s a serious, painful disorder that is not to be taken lightly.

[simmonstrinity]

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