#((also forward date this to later in the night))

[carylmeanslove]

Timing of the stories.

My bf went & screen captured A's first story. It says she posted the first story 11 hours ago from when it was screen captured. Which would make it 5PM UK when she posted it.

Well now here is the kicker. He called one of his tech savvy friends. Asked him something I didn't know because he was being all secretive. But saying "Baby, I got you. I'm going to finally throw my Lukola FBI hat in the ring" Lol He means he is wanting to actively help us, now. But trust me he has already gotten invested over the course of this thing with everything I've told him & shown him.

Anyway...after talking with his techie friend he did some stuff online then showed me his finding.

The article was posted at 9:40Am. A read the article then likely went in search of videos to insinuate with, to which we already have evidence is shady. She posted her first story at 5PM UK time. which was after the article was published. She had plenty of time to find actual concert goers with video posts, one with the song portion that would make Luke look bad & herself feel better & post them as her own.

I gave my bf such a huge kiss that he ended up saying, reacting to my reward kiss "Yeah, it pays to learn this stuff (techie stuff). I'm taking a course." He loves when I reward him. He then said that it was worth it to see me smile more. A & her games, biggest 🙄

ETA: Now could there be pictures later that reveals A was there? Maybe. But based on her history with us, her MO, her behavior & compare that with all the forward progress signs we've been getting lately from Nicola & Luke that strongly hints at a hollowing out.

The article itself being in line with Luke prepping us (Him being mentioned alone in the article, like Fia mentioned). Also, Luke not liking her post. I say there is a much bigger chance that A is lashing out because she knows Luke & Nicola are going to be hard launching soon & wants to get a rise out of the fandom & get as much attention as she can get while she still can. Because she knows she will be a mere foot note in their love story after.

I'm going to pay attention to Nic & Luke & their messages. Ain't nothing stoppin' our pair now.

ETA: The part highlighted is a date & time when the article was modified. I accidentally highlighted the wrong part. It was published on the 27th. When was the concert? Friday night right? So that's even more of a time to do all the searching for the videos to use.

[tagged-by-trauma]

Hey so loved your previous fics, they were cute and some funny but also adorable 🥹❤️😅

Could you write where Pedro is dating, reader/single mum of 2 kids ( you can use either 2 boys or 2 girls or either 1 boy and 1 girl. I'll let you choose. You can choose their age also). Anyways, can it be where he meets them for the first time, but both pedro and their mum doesn't know they are a fans of him. They ask him questions after questions, and by the end their mum thinks pedro won't want to see them again until one day on his break from set, he shows up and he invites them to set ( you can choose from one of his projects ), he introduces them to everyone. After they all head home and have a movie night ( one of pedro's movies or tv series to watch ) with snacks. And maybe end it with pedro having a sleepover, and both pedro and reader/mum have talks until they fall asleep.

You can choose how you want to play this out, I love a surprise 🤭

I hope that made sense. I just think it's cute for reading fics like that 🫶🏼❤️😇 thank you so much 😘 I really appreciate it

The first impressions

The first impression with your two kids go quite well, but you are still left with doubts. It all vanishes when Pedro shows up and takes you all to the set of Fantastic Four, and after the kids fall asleep on your couch, leaving you and Pedro with your thoughts. Pairing: Pedro Pascal x mom!reader Warnings: established relationship, first impressions, quiet doubts, slight insecurity, Pedro being a sweetheart, basically just pure fluff Word count: 1.3k A/N: This is definitely not my best work, and I'm not proud of it, but I hope you'll like it anyway!

You have been dating Pedro for months now. After your ex-husband left you years ago with your three-year-old son and your daughter on the way, and chose one of his co-workers instead, you felt like you could never trust any man again. That was until Pedro held the library door open for you, and you fell into a deep conversation.

He was the perfect man inside and out. He was a real sweetheart with the most beautiful smile in the world, and he was also intelligent. When you asked anything, he almost answered to every one of them, impressing you every time.

You started truthfully; you didn’t want to lie to him. You told him about your nine-year-old son and you six-year-old daughter, and he received it with quiet interest. He started asking about them, what they were like, what was their hobby, and you couldn’t be more amazed by his reaction.

So, now, months later you agreed on the first meeting with them. You called him to your house, not wanting your kids to feel uncomfortable through this whole moment. The only thing they knew was that his name was Pedro and you had been dating him. Nothing more, nothing less.

The doorbell rang in the afternoon, and you rushed to the door while the kids were helping you placing out snacks in the living room. You opened the door, and your eyes immediately fell on Pedro. He was dressed in light jeans and an olive-green button-up. He looked just as handsome as ever.

“Hey,” he greeted you, and stepped forward to give you a sweet kiss. He was holding two wrapped gifts, and you looked at him questioningly. He just shrugged, but the smile on his face was talking instead of his mouth.

“Hey, you are a bit overdressed, no?” you asked, standing in the doorway in a worn t-shirt and your favourite shorts.

“I wanted to make sure they like me.”

“Ah, you’re so sweet,” you pulled him inside. You looked at him with a look that made sure that he was ready for this, and when he nodded, you called out, your voice carrying across the house. The two kids appeared in the doorway in the speed of a rocket, but when their eyes fell on Pedro they stopped in their tracks.

“Oh my God,” Liam blurted out, and your daughter followed just behind him. Your nervous smile fell a little, just as Pedro’s and you looked at each other scared. But there was nothing to be scared about, and you knew it the moment they stepped forward, and started firing questions at Pedro.

“Did you really meet Grogu?”

“Is Oscar Isaac really your friend?”

“Were you scared doing stunts?”

“Were you afraid of those clickers?”

Pedro was standing beside you, unmoving, his eyes darting back and forth at every question, he was overwhelmed, and you realized it pretty quickly, putting an end to the questions with a soft warning.

“Hey, little ones, let’s not bomb him with so many questions at once, alright? One at a time,” Pedro’s expression became more relaxed, and he looked at you gratefully, tilting his head forward.

“I guess I don’t have to introduce myself then,” the kids shook their head excitedly, and Pedro let out a soft chuckle. He crouched down to the level of them, and with the softest voice of his he started answering them one by one.

By the end of the night both kids were out of questions, and you walked Pedro out of the house and to his car. You were afraid that maybe tonight was too much for him, that maybe he thought it through and realized that he didn’t want this. He was standing in front of you now.

“I’m sorry if that was a bit overwhelming. I know they can be a bit too much sometimes but… They are usually not like this,” your voice was a bit strained, but Pedro just stepped forward and gave you the softest goodbye kiss.

“We’ll talk soon.”

Those were his last words before he drove away.

You didn’t talk with him for days now. You were always trying to reach out, but you were too afraid of his reaction, so you backed out every time. That was until a knock came on your door on a normal Tuesday morning. You took out the whole day, wanting to rest a little, so when you opened the door, and saw Pedro standing there, you felt like your brain just short circuited.

“Pedro,” your voice was low, shocked.

“Hey, hermosa. Uhm… Are the kids at home?”

“Yes?”

“Amazing,” his face lighted up like a Christmas tree, and you stepped to the side to let him in. The two kids appeared beside you, excited to see who was behind the door, and when they saw Pedro, they nearly knocked him over.

After the tight hug, he stepped back and held out three set visitor passes. You looked at him, completely oblivious of his intentions, but the kids beside you were already bouncing on their feet.

“So, are you ready to meet the Fantastic Four?” the scream that ripped through the house was a new sound, your son hugging Pedro tightly. You were surprised how safe your kids felt around Pedro after just one meet, but you felt your heart flying in the clouds by the little fact.

And that was how your whole day went.

You arrived on set, met Vanessa, Joseph and Ebon after a quick talk. Liam got to try a stunt harness and Sophie was running around greeting everyone that was on the same room with her. You watched as Pedro acted in full costume, and your kids were staring in awe like he was God himself, and you were just thinking about how lucky you are.

The kids were full of energy when you got home with them and Pedro, so they were demanding to watch one of his movies. You were preparing the snacks and drinks, and you heard your kids talking with him in the living room. Bringing in the popcorn and the orange juices, and placing them on the coffee table, you looked at Liam and Sophie.

“So, what should we watch?”

“Let’s watch that one movie of his that you didn’t allow us to see,” Liam immediately answered, and Pedro looked at you with his eyebrows raised and a boyish smirk playing on his face.

“Which movie, hermosa?” you already parted your mouth to answer, but your daughter cut you off.

“That one which is…” she was hesitating but continued anyway. “What’s it called? Something starting with Strange,” Pedro’s eyes widened, and he looked at you.

“Yeah, you… Uhm…” he cleared his throat, clearly a bit uncomfortable in his seat. “You’re a bit young for that,” the kids let out a protesting sound, but you and Pedro stopped them.

In the end, you were laying on the couch with the Mandalorian playing on the TV. Sophie was curled into Pedro’s side, her head resting on his chest, and Liam was resting his head against his shoulder. They were dozing off, and you weren’t really watching as Din Djarin was flying with Grogu on the screen because you were more invested in the scene in front of you.

Pedro’s eyes found yours, and a slow smile crept on his face. He looked back down to the kids, and you were in complete awe by the way he was so caring with them.

“You know,” you lifted your head as he started. “I never really wanted to be a dad, never really longed for having children but now? I think I would do anything for these two troublemakers,” your eyes were clouded by the unshed tears, and if you had any doubt about him not wanting this, it all vanished with his words. “Can I bring them to the cinema with me tomorrow?”

“You are definitely going to spoil them,” he was grinning sheepishly, his eyes glinting with mischief.

“I think that’s why I’m here.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Yes, but you love them. And you love me.”

And these were the facts that you couldn’t argue with even if you tried.

[alymabrb]

Hi! I’m looking for a Jujutsu Kaisen fanfic featuring a Satoru Gojo x Reader pairing with heavy emotional depth, slow-burn romantic tension, and found family themes — with a touch of angst, healing, and warmth.

If any fanfic writer would take this idea and write an amazing story with this idea i have,i would love to get tagged if someone ends up picking up this idea just so i can read it. So this is the idea.🫶🏻

After Suguru Geto’s death, the reader discovers she’s pregnant with his child. Devastated and wanting to protect the baby from the dangers of jujutsu society, she quietly leaves the sorcerer world behind to raise her daughter in secret.

A year later, Satoru Gojo finds out — shocked to learn the truth. But instead of being angry, he steps up and offers unconditional support. He starts visiting often, then staying over, slowly becoming a stable presence in both of their lives. As he helps raise Geto’s daughter — changing diapers, late-night bottles, helping with tantrums — a deep bond grows between the three of them.

As time passes, romantic tension builds between Gojo and the reader — especially during quiet nights after putting the baby to sleep. A few drinks, tired laughter, and shared memories blur the lines between comfort and something more. Both of them are still grieving, still healing — but love slowly begins to grow.

Eventually, the others — especially Shoko — find out about the child and her parentage. (Shoko as a supportive figure and is a good old friend of reader) It’s revealed that the daughter can see curses and has started to show signs of cursed spirit manipulation, like her late father. There’s fear, shock, and concern — but Gojo remains steady, determined to help guide and protect her.

Later in the story, the reader finds out she’s pregnant again — this time with Gojo’s child. It’s emotional, complicated, and raw — but also beautiful. It marks a new beginning and a new chapter of healing, found family, and moving forward together. Reader slowly letting herself love again.

This idea is to good to not be a fanfic someone please 🙏

Alsooo maybe a flashback to when geto first left jujutsu high to kill all non sorcerers and right before he left thats when he got reader pregnant but you where never truly dating you guys where just fucking around yk🤔

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

no doubt ── s. jy

↳ summary ── struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in you—one of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoil—torn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wants—and spoiler alert? it's you.

↳ pairing ── jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]

↳ genre ── idol!jake, friends to lovers!au || angstttt, fluff, crack

↳ ✎ᝰ. 23.7k [never beating the allegations of getting too attached to my works and having too much fun writing i fear...]

↳ contains ── angst! very angsty but only after a lot of fluff...the cheesy cringe type but then it goes downhill real quick...but happy ending i swear!, mentions of insecurities, maybe one or two curse words, fic starts with jake dating og character named jenn, the use of pet names, jungwon practically plays therapist, jake is absolutely whipped for reader but is terrible at communication and a certified idiot . also jungwon is reader's best friend so the beginning sets up the context for that lolz

↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── she's DONEEE [do u hear me crying in the background]...so some backstory lore abt this fic—basically two years ago i had a dream about the ~angsty scene~ of this fic and ever since then, i've had this itch of putting it into words. and when i finally decided to do it, no doubt came out and i thought it was literal fate since the lyrics match the vibe so well...don't tell me it isn't fate guys :') anyways..this is a little different than my typical writing style even though of course i had to include summm crack..but i am still nervous abt how it came out so i really really hope you guys like it :') thank u for all the support and love always <3

↳ update .ᐟ ── check out the sequel series of this fic here!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

You and Yang Jungwon were literally born to be best friends.  

Like, there was no other option.  

Your mom? Their high school's poster child for academic perfection—top of her class, president of every club imaginable, a certified teacher's pet.  

Jungwon's mom? Their high school's unofficial social chair—life of the party, karaoke queen, probably responsible for half the faculty's headaches. 

Nothing alike. 

So naturally, of course, they were inseparable. By their junior year, they'd already started planning their futures together, including one very specific and totally realistic goal that all teenage girl best friends make when they're young:  

"We should have our first kids around the same time and force them to be best friends!"  

"Oh my gosh, yes," Jungwon's mom agreed enthusiastically. "Like, we'll make them share everything! Matching outfits, playdates, joint birthday parties!"  

But what your moms didn't realize as they were giggling over the playful promise that probably didn't hold any meaning to them at the age of 17? 

The universe was taking notes.  

So fast forward a couple decades later, and there you were, baby best friends from birth, fulfilling the shared dream of your mothers—the true puppeteers in this scenario.  

All your moms had to do was execute their promise as planned, but the rest of it? The rest of it was easy.  

You and Jungwon clicked before you even knew what words were, communicating in a series of shared giggles and unintelligible baby noises. By the time you turned two, you were finishing each other's sentences in your made-up gibberish language, and by preschool, the bond was unshakable. 

You two—just like your moms—were inseparable.  

By high school, everyone knew you were a package deal—where you went, Jungwon followed, and vice versa. So, when he announced your sophomore year that he was leaving to compete on a televised idol survival show, you were, understandably, skeptical.  

"Are you sure it's not a scam?" You had asked, rolling lazily around on his bed while he scrambled around his room, packing his bags.  

"It's not a scam," Jungwon laughed, carefully folding his clothes. 

"Did they ask for your social security number?"  

"Y/N."  

"Exactly. I'm just saying—if you end up on one of those exposé documentaries about fake talent shows, don't say I didn't warn you."  

Despite your teasing, you knew how much this meant to him. Jungwon had been dreaming about being in the music spotlight since he figured out how to work a karaoke machine at the age of six.  

So when he eventually did make his debut with his group, you weren't surprised at all—it was inevitable, written in the stars, just like how your friendship with him was.

What did surprise you, though, was how seamlessly you got roped into his new world.  

Sure, Jungwon's life got infinitely busier overnight, but there is no universe that exists in which he'd forget about you—his non-conjoined twin, ride-or-die, and ultimate life-long nuisance (his words, not yours).  

And so naturally, you became an honorary member of this new life of his. The boys' practice studio might as well be your new home—the endless days camping out on the floor of their dance studio with your head in your textbooks while they drilled their choreography for the hundredth time proved that. Or maybe how you crash on their dorm couch so often that Sunoo coined you your new nickname: their unofficial eighth member.  

Which brings you to now: a marketing major by day, unofficial idol by night, and, as always, a certified magnet to chaos.

Case in point? Whatever madness was happening around you at this exact moment.  

"Okay, but hear me out," Heeseung says, gesturing dramatically with his pizza slice—one of many scattered across the coffee table everyone was sitting around. "Pineapple is the perfect combination of sweet and savory—"  

"It's a crime against humanity," Sunghoon cuts in. 

Tomorrow? The boys leave for their five-month tour.  

Tonight? Tonight is tradition: the pre-tour pizza bash.  

Naturally, it's chaos, as no one has bothered with the last-minute packing they're supposed to be doing.  

Not a single bag is packed.  

"It's fruit on bread," you scrunch your nose, taking a bite of your own normal pepperoni pizza. "This isn't dessert, Hee."  

"Thank you!" Sunghoon reaches across the table to high-five you. 

From the couch behind you, Jake chuckles and nudges your back with his knee, "Big talk coming from someone who claims pickles belong on everything."  

"Uh, because they do," you whip your head around to glare at him. "Pickles are versatile."  

"Versatile my ass," Jungwon mumbles from his spot beside you. "I love you, but you're deranged."  

"Look who's talking, Mr. 'I-put-hot-sauce-on-everything'," you shoot back, eyes narrowing at your best friend. Everyone chuckles from around the table at your dramatic, yet endearing, overreaction. 

"Hot sauce is different," Jay chimes in without even looking up from his phone. "It's an enhancer."  

"Pickles enhance flavor too!"  

"By making everything taste like vinegar," Sunoo deadpans from your other side. "Gross."  

"Whatever," you roll your eyes. "You're all uncultured."  

"And you're a menace," Jake quips from behind you, his voice dripping with amusement. You don't even have to turn around to see the smirk on his face—you can hear it loud and clear. 

"Careful, Sim," you say with a sly glance over your shoulder. "Keep talking, and I'll start adding pickle juice to your coffee."  

The room fills with laughter, but before Jake can fire back, his phone buzzes aggressively against the couch. You watch him glance down at his screen before his playful smile instantly fades.  

"I'll be right back," Jake mutters, getting up and heading towards the kitchen without another word.  

You frown as you watch him disappear around the corner, the sudden shift in his mood gnawing at you, and you can't help but wonder what's gotten under his skin. 

After a few more minutes of heated debates over pizza toppings—and yet another round of everyone ganging up on your weird pickle obsession—you decide it was time for a drink refill.  

Excusing yourself, you step into the kitchen, only to find Jake leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and gaze fixed on the empty wall in front of him. His phone sits abandoned on the counter, screen dark.  

"Jake?" You call out softly, approaching slowly. 

Your voice breaks through his haze, his expression flickering as he registers you standing in the doorway, your brows furrowed in concern.  

"What's going on?" You ask, moving closer to stand in front of him.   

"Nothing," Jake says too quickly, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

You give him a look and he knows that you know he's lying, "Jake.."  

He exhales, his expression crumbling as he runs a hand through his hair, "Just...Jenn called."  

Ah. Of course. Jenn.  

You almost flinch at the sound of the name, the weight it carries instantly souring your stomach. Jake's on-again, off-again girlfriend of two years was a constant source of heartbreak—not just for the poor boy, but for the entire group who helped pick up the pieces of his broken heart after every messy break-up…and even messier make-up.  

"She broke up with me," Jake admits quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "For real this time. Something about me leaving for tour and how it wasn't going to work out."  

Your heart hurts at the sight of him in front of you—shoulders slumped, hands nervously twisting the hem of his shirt, as if trying to distract himself from the conversation.  

"Oh, Jake...," you murmur, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as you lean against the counter next to him.  

"I'm fine," he insists, waving it off, but the expression on his face clearly betrays him.  

"No, you're not," you say, trying to catch his eyes. "And that's okay."  

Jake lets out a shaky breath, finally looking up from the ground to look at you, before shrugging, "I don't even know why I’m surprised. We've been...really off for a while now. Like, more than usual. But still, it sucks."  

“Of course, it sucks," you nod, agreeing softly. "You guys were together for a long time. You cared about her."  

For a moment, the two of you sit in a heavy silence with an unspoken understanding, the only sounds coming from the muffled chatter and laughter in the other room. You stay close, letting him process without pushing further.  

Still, you can't entirely suppress the annoying flare of emotions bubbling in your chest—a tangled knot of sympathy and…something else. Relief, maybe? Not that you would ever wish any sort of pain on Jake—but you hate the way Jenn always leaves him like this: drained, doubting himself, and trying to piece together what went wrong, where he went wrong. 

"Come back to the living room," you say finally, nudging his side gently. "Ni-ki is freaking out over which hoodies to pack. And I swear, they're all the same black hoodie."  

Jake lets out a small, tired laugh, "You don't need me for that. He's gonna end up packing all of them, just watch."  

"You don't know that," you tease. "Besides, I need someone's back up to help me convince him he's not actually going through an emo phase."  

His eyes carry a faint smile as he looks at you, the corners of his lips lifting just enough to remind you of the warmth he usually carries.  

"Okay," he says in a whisper, pushing himself off the counter.  

You start towards the doorway, forgetting about your drink refill entirely, but his voice stops you.  

"Y/N?"  

You turn to find him still standing there, his eyes filled with warmth and appreciation.  

"Thanks," he adds, a small smile on his face. It's such a simple statement, but the way he says it—soft, sincere, and maybe just a little desperate—makes something twist in your stomach. "For just...always being here."  

You smile back up at the boy, "Of course, Jake. I'll always be here for you. You know that."  

For a moment, he holds your gaze, as if taking a mental note of something. Then he nods, his shoulders relaxing.

"Okay," he says, exhaling as he gestures toward the doorway. "Let's go.”

You follow behind the boy back to the living room, silently hoping he knows just how much you mean your promise to him.  

Jake's body is on autopilot at this point.  

Another city, another show, another string of flashing lights and deafening cheers. It's a month into tour, and the endless loop of responsibilities has left him no room to just breathe.  

And he loves this life—he really does. But tonight, for reasons he can't explain, the adrenaline that usually keeps him afloat isn't enough. Pure exhaustion lingers in his bones, heavier than the applause and screams echoing in his memory, and he just can’t seem to shake it. 

When his head finally hits the stiff hotel pillow, Jake exhales with a heavy sigh. The city around him is alive, the neon lights brightly dancing against his windowpane, but he feels none of it. 

Instead? He just feels the weight of homesickness and the ache of being alone. 

Normally, he would push through, shove these thoughts into the back of his mind, call it a night. But tonight, the ache feels different—sharper, louder—and before he knows it, his phone is in his hand before he can talk himself out of it, his thumb hovering over your name on his screen. 

A familiar battle wages in his mind, one he’s been battling more recently ever since tour became a little heavier on him. Slowly, the quiet yearning has been creeping in, and he’s been missing home more and more, craving the feeling of familiarity. But it isn’t just the physical places or the comfort of his regular routine that he craves. 

It’s something else, something harder to name. 

And for some other reason he can’t seem to explain, he thinks it’s you. 

Jake doesn’t know when it started. Maybe it was hearing the sound of your voice through the phone whenever the guys called you to check in every now and then. Or maybe it was the way you would text in their shared group chat, your messages always tinged with humor or a sense of calm that somehow made everything feel a little less overwhelming. 

Whatever it was, it stuck with him. He finds himself craving that unexplainable comfort only you seem to bring. He tells himself it’s nothing special, just the natural pull of familiarity. You’re back at home, the place he misses the most, so obviously, through association, it makes sense. 

It’s logical. Nothing more. 

That’s what he tells himself as his thumb hovers over your name. It’s not about you specifically—it couldn’t be. It’s just the connection to home. The grounding warmth of your voice. The way you somehow make the distance feel a little less suffocating. 

Obviously. Nothing more. 

He presses call.  

Two rings. That's all it takes before your voice cuts through all the static in his head. Groggy, soft, and achingly familiar. Like home.  

"Jake? It's late, is everything okay?"  

Jake glances at the clock. 10:13PM where he is. Much later for you, he imagines. Guilt stirs, but...  

He doesn't want to hang up. 

Hearing your voice feels like the first breath of air after surfacing from deep water. He instantly feels more comfortable despite the heaviness in his chest.

"Hey," he mumbles, his voice quiet. "I'm okay. Just...needed to hear a friendly voice, I guess."  

"Wow, are the boys that bad that you need to call me?" You tease warmly, despite the sleepiness lingering in your words.  

Jake chuckles, the sound low and tired, "Nothing against them, really. It's just...sometimes you need someone who reminds you of home, you know?"  

The other end of the line goes quiet for a moment. He can hear you shuffle, and he braces himself for a teasing comment about him being sappy and sentimental. But instead, your voice softens.  

"Well, I'm glad I could be that for you," your voice telling him you're smiling brightly on the other side of the screen. "Though if I had a private jet, I'd send it right now. Bring you back instantly."  

"A private jet, huh?" Jake's eyes flutter close as he's engulfed into the usual, playful rhythm that's always there between the two of you. "You'd do that for me?"  

"Only if you bring back goodies, preferably snacks," you quip back, and the warmth in his chest grows.  

There's another pause, the kind that feels comfortable rather than awkward. Jake shifts in his spot and before he can stop himself, he blurts out, “How do you do that?”  

“Do what?” 

“Make everything feel...lighter. Like, I can’t explain it, but just hearing you makes me feel like I’m not carrying all this stuff by myself.” 

Your voice softens at his sudden vulnerability. 

“Because you don't have to carry it all on your own, Jake. You know that, right? That’s what friends are for."  

Jake hums in response, a low sound of acknowledgement as he keeps his phone pressed close, your voice instantly soothing the heavy emotions he's been carrying. 

"You sound exhausted," you say after a beat, your tone cautious but filled with genuine care. "How are you holding up? With everything—the tour, the...break-up, just...you?"  

Jake lets out a low groan, his fingers brushing through his hair. "You sound like my mom."  

"Well, someone has to," you tease lightly, a relieved laugh slipping into your voice, as if you'd been afraid you overstepped. "Seriously, Jake. Are you doing okay?"  

Jake hesitates, the question catching him off guard. He hadn't let himself think too much about Jenn or the breakup since leaving for tour a month ago. The boys knew better than to bring it up, and Jake had been grateful for that—for the distraction.  

But now, with you, it feels different. 

Safer, easier. Natural.  

“Honestly? I don’t know,” he sighs, the sound heavy through the phone. “Some days it feels like I’m fine, like I’ve moved on, and other days...it’s like I’m stuck in this loop of ‘what ifs.’ Like, what if I did something different? Or..."  

He trails off to a pause, his throat tight, before he finally admits to you, and himself, "...what if I just wasn't enough?"  

“Jake,” you say gentle but firm, cutting through his spiraling thoughts. “You are enough. You've always been enough. Jenn...she just wasn’t the right person for you. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.” 

He swallows hard, your words settling into the cracks he didn't even realize were there. 

"Thanks, Y/N. I mean it. It's just...hard, you know? Haven't really talked about it since it happened. But talking to you helps—a lot."  

“I’m glad." He can hear the quiet sincerity in your words. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing an amazing job. With tour, with...everything. You've got this, Jake. I’m really proud of you.”

Jake lets out a breathy laugh, the warmth in your words settling something in his chest—a knot he didn't even realize was there. 

“You always know what to say, don’t you?” 

“It’s a gift,” you easily reply, and he can hear the grin in your voice, the easy banter making him feel lighter.  

"I missed this," the words tumble out before he can stop himself. Then he quickly adds, as if to explain himself, "It's weird not having you around. The boys are great and all, but you give the best advice. Don't tell them that."  

You giggle on your end, the sound making Jake's lips curve into a small smile and his heart twists.  

In both a comforting and terrifying way. 

"I miss it too," your voice quieter now. "But I'm here. You know that, right? Even if you're on the other side of the world, or if you call me at four in the morning like you're doing right now."  

Jake lets out a chuckle followed by a sleepy groan, "Sorry about that. But...thank you, Y/N. For picking up."  

"Always," you reply, and he hopes you mean it.  

A beat passes. Jake knows he should hang up, that he should let you sleep. He tries to convince himself that you need the sleep more than he needs this call.  

But he can't help himself.  

"You'll yell at me if I don't sleep, won't you?"  

"Absolutely. Go to bed, Jake. Or at least try. Zombie mode doesn't suit you."  

"Fine," he sighs dramatically, but his eyes feel heavier and he knows he's falling asleep, the tension in his body from before easing away. "But only because you scare me sometimes."  

You laugh. "Good. Now get some rest. And call me whenever you need to, okay?"  

"Okay," he mumbles into his phone quietly, his mind already slipping into a deep sleep. 

"Goodnight, Y/N."  

"Goodnight, Jake."  

"Don't you have a bedtime, Sim Jaeyun?" You tease, answering the call. The clock reads 1:27AM, and you should be asleep—you really should—but you smile anyways when Jake's name appears on your screen.  

"Bedtime? I don't know her," his voice slightly groggy, but as usual, still warm. "Besides I knew you'd be awake. You don't sleep like a normal person either."  

You roll your eyes, knowing fully well he can't see it, "Yeah, well, I don't have to dance around a stage for two hours tomorrow."  

"True, but you do have to deal with my constant calls and keep me entertained. That's way harder."  

"Oh yeah, obviously," you say with mock seriousness. "Being your emotional support human is a full-time job." 

“Emotional support human,” Jake repeats, chuckling softly. “You’re right. I guess I really owe you, huh?”

“Oh, 100%,” you shoot back, a grin in your voice. “I want one of those tour hoodies you guys keep posting with.” 

“Done. What size?” 

"The oversized one."  

Jake pauses. “Let me guess—so you can sleep in it?"  

You hesitate, suddenly sheepish at how he knows you too well, “Hey, it's only cozy if it's oversized!"  

You hear his soft laugh on the other end of the line. 

“Cute. I’ll make sure to steal one for you.” 

You try not to overanalyze the way your stomach flips at the word cute, and the easy way he says it, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.  

You shake the thought off immediately. This wasn't new, after all, Jake's always warm and easy to talk to. But lately—over the past month of phone calls—the way he says certain things, the tone he says them in, and the way they make you feel? It carried a weight you weren't sure how to hold.  

In both a comforting and terrifying way.  

“So, how was your day?” you suddenly bring up, trying to redirect your thoughts. 

"Tiring," Jake sighs, his voice muffled as he shifts around in bed. "And Jungwon keeps beating me at Mario Kart during our break time. My pride is in shambles, Y/N."  

"Let me guess," you smirk, repeating his words from earlier. "He picks Yoshi, and you keep picking Toad because you think he's underrated."  

"Excuse me," Jake scoffs. "Toad is underrated. But, for your information, I choose Toad because your go-to character is Toadette."  

Your heart does that stupid flip again. His words are light—I mean, you guys are talking about Mario Kart for god's sake—but it's stuff like that that keeps you questioning the true meaning behind his words.

You ignore the feeling, instead, a laugh bubbles up in response, an attempt to sound unaffected.

"You're so weird."  

“But you like it,” he quips, voice dipping just slightly, like he’s testing the waters. 

You're caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone, but you recover just as quickly. 

"Debatable."  

“Liar.”

His tone is teasing, but there's something softer behind it, “You wouldn’t still be on the phone with me if you didn’t like me at least a little.” 

“Maybe I’m just bored,” you shoot back, though your cheeks are burning at his sudden forwardness, questioning if he’s serious or just messing with you. 

You hear him hum in response, "Then I guess I'll have to work harder to keep you interested."  

“Oh yeah? How are you planning to do that?” You try to match his teasing tone, but internally, you feel unsteady under the implication of his words. 

“By being my usual charming self, duh,” he says, his voice dropping into a smooth tone. “And, you know, calling you every night so you don’t forget about me.” 

Your heart squeezes. "You already do that, stupid. You think I'd forget about you?"  

“Never,” Jake's reply is immediate, almost instinctive, leaving no room for doubt. “But just in case…I like hearing your voice. Makes me feel like I’m not a million miles away.” 

His words linger in the space between you, heavier than the playful banter from earlier. You swallow hard, trying your best to keep your voice steady. 

“You’re not a million miles away, Jake.” 

“Feels like it,” he murmurs. You hear a pause in his voice, as if he's thinking hard about his next words. “I miss home. I miss...you." 

Your chest tightens, and your hands grip the sheets beneath you, as if the fabric could somehow ground you. Your heart is doing that thing again—the erratic, terrifying thing that makes you want to believe in something you're not sure is even real.  

And at the same time, your thoughts are scrambling to say something lighthearted before the conversation steers into that dangerous, dangerous territory you were sure you weren't ready for.  

Not yet.  

"Well, you better win at least one round of Mario Kart for me while you're out there," you force a laugh, trying to mask the tremor in your voice.  

Jake laughs, the sound genuine, "I'll try. But if I lose, just know I'm dedicating every race to you."  

"Wow, I'm so honored," you try to deadpan, but he can sense the grin in your voice.  

"You should be," his voice softens again. "Thanks for picking up tonight, by the way. I know it's late."  

He never fails to thank you every night, as if you haven't been picking up every day for the past month and won't be picking up tomorrow, and the next day...and the day after that.  

And, somehow, the same, genuine appreciation makes it so hard for you to ignore that weird, warm, fluttering sensation growing inside you every time you talk to him.  

But, regardless, you always give him the same reply: 

"Always," your voice matching his softness. "Call me whenever, okay?"  

"Don’t say that," Jake warns, the teasing edge creeping back into his tone. "I'll actually do it."  

"Fine," you giggle. "But if you call me at four in the morning again, I'm putting my phone on Do Not Disturb." 

"Deal." He pauses, then adds, "Goodnight, Y/N."  

"Goodnight, Jake."  

As you hang up, you stare at your phone for a moment longer than you should have, your room feeling oddly quiet and too empty without his voice.  

It's just another call, Y/N. Just another call between two friends.  

But deep down, a part of you tells you it isn’t that simple anymore.  

And maybe—just maybe—he knows it too.  

“Are you busy?” Jake’s voice sounds more tired than usual, heavy with an overwhelming amount of tension. 

“Never too busy for our calls,” you easily reply without hesitation as you lay back in your bed, phone close to your ear. Your voice is light, a stark contrast to the weariness laced in his, and when he doesn’t respond with his typical chuckle, you immediately sense his mood. “Hard day?” 

He exhales slowly, the weary sound answering your question. Today was a lot. Hours of rehearsal followed by a concert, the adrenaline rush of performing, followed by the chaos of having the guys’ hotel information leaked. Crowds of paparazzi and fans swarmed the entrance, the relentless flashes of cameras breaking through whatever little pieces of calm he had left within him. The noise, the pressure, the endless cycle—all spiraled into a mental mess he doesn’t seem to shake. 

The second he settled into his hotel room, all Jake knew was that he needed to talk to you—the one person who could steady his racing thoughts. 

"I just...I didn't think this would get to me, you know? The cameras, the people, the flashes in my face—I'm just—it's like I'm never alone."  

Your heart twists at the vulnerability and rawness in his voice, as if he’s admitting something for the first time—not just to anyone else, but to himself. 

"I—I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, just for a little while. Just to breathe, you know?"  

You close your eyes, your grip on the phone unconsciously tightening as if it could anchor him somehow.  

"I know it's not the same," your voice steady, even as you internally ached for him, "but...you can disappear with me, Jake. Even if it's just through the call. No cameras. No noise. Just...you and me."  

He lets out an exhale—shaky, but relieved.  

"You're really good at this. Making me feel like it's all gonna be okay."  

"Because it is going to be okay, Jake," you reply softly. "You're not alone, Jake. Not with me."  

"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, and he wishes more than anything else in this moment that he actually was with you. “I know.” 

"Jake," you groan, sitting cross-legged on your bed, staring at the flustered boy through your laptop screen. "I'm begging you—just wear the black jacket. It's literally impossible to mess up black."  

"But what about the beanie?" He whines as he pops back into view, his face scrunched up in genuine distress. "Do you think I can pull it off, or will I look like I'm trying too hard? Be honest, Y/N."  

What started as a simple fashion-advice-question over the phone turned into a two-hour wardrobe emergency—all because Jake couldn’t figure out what to wear to the airport the next day (because, apparently, airport fits matter—his words, not yours).

"Jake, you could wear a literal trash bag to the airport and fans would still lose their minds," you tease, biting back a laugh. 

He rolls his eyes at you, but the smile tugging at his lips says otherwise.  

"Okay, but seriously, you’re trying too hard. Just go with the jacket, no beanie," you add on, just to end this two-hour long madness.  

"Hmm," Jake plops on his bed and turns towards his phone camera, and you swear you can see the pout forming on his lips. "But I already posted a preview of the jacket last week. Isn't that, like, repetitive?"  

"Jake,” you blink at him, "it's an airport. Not a fashion show."  

He stares at you for a beat, then lets out a dramatic sigh, "Fine! Jacket, no beanie. But if I see even one criticizing comment calling me basic, I'm blaming you."  

You laugh, shaking your head at his ridiculousness, "Deal. Now go to sleep, Sim Jaeyun."  

His grin softens as he adjusts the camera to fully look at you, pout gone, eyes glistening.

"Only because you said so."  

"Hey," you say softly, answering the call as you snuggle deeper into your blanket, letting it engulf you completely.

The familiar sound of Jake's quiet breathing fills the space between you, and before he even says a word, you already know.  

"Rough day?" You ask gently when he doesn’t say anything after a few seconds. 

"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice quieter than usual, almost drowned out by the low hum of background noise. "I just...I don't really feel like talking right now, if that's okay."  

"Of course," you reply without hesitation, your tone gentle, no questions asked.

On the other end, Jake presses the phone closer to this ear in an attempt to feel closer to you, instantly feeling better from your pure understanding of how he’s feeling, and he thinks—not for the first time—that you might be his favorite person in the world.  

The warm silence engulfs the both of you like a shared blanket, unspoken yet understood. You can hear the faint echoes of his surroundings: the muffled laughter of the boys somewhere nearby, the distant honk of traffic outside his hotel, and then the quiet shuffle of Jake shifting positions in his hotel bed. You catch his breath catching slightly, like he's finally allowing himself to relax—to just be.  

You don't try to fill the silence. You know that he needs this—a moment of peace in the chaos. Instead, you similarly press the phone closer to your ear, as if doing so can somehow bridge the miles between you, hoping he can sense your presence reaching out for him. 

Minutes pass like this, and for a moment, it’s so quiet you begin to wonder if he's falling asleep. But then, a deep exhale breaks the stillness.

"Thank you, Y/N," he says finally, his voice low but steady, carrying a weight of sincerity that makes your heart clench.  

"You don't have to thank me, Jake," your voice matches his softness. "You know that."  

"Still," his voice is low, so quiet, it feels like a secret meant only for you. "I appreciate you. More than you probably know."  

You smile to yourself, your heart aching in the best way possible, and you desperately try your best to ignore it, no matter how much excitement it brought you. 

"Always, Jake." 

“Tell me something about you that I don’t already know,” you challenge him, your voice carrying that light and endearing tone over the phone that Jake’s come to crave. 

“Hmm,” Jake hums thoughtfully as he lies in his bed, eyes closed, just simply treasuring the small moments, like this one, with you. 

Even though it’s definitely 3AM where he is right now. And he definitely has to be up in a few hours for rehearsal. 

Oh well, completely irrelevant. Talking about everything and anything with you just felt so right. 

“I don’t know,” he eventually exhales, his brain too foggy to think of anything logical right now. “I feel like you know me better than I know myself at this point, Y/N.” 

“You’re so corny it physically hurts, Jake,” you scoff, and Jake swears he can feel your exaggerated eye roll from thousands of miles away. 

“Oh—wait, wait! I have one,” he perks up, his eyes shooting open as he turns towards the phone in excitement. 

“Hit me,” you say, unconsciously smiling at how cute he sounds. 

“I’m allergic to flowers.” 

The line falls silent for a beat before you erupt into a storm of giggles so wild it makes Jake feel sick from how fast the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering. 

“That’s your fun fact? That’s so tragic, Jake,” you gasp through your giggles. “Like, depressingly tragic.” 

“Hey! It’s not that sad, it could be worse,” Jake hopes you can hear his pout over the phone (you can). 

“So you’re telling me you’ve never bought a girl flowers before?” You tease, smiling to yourself as you stare at your ceiling. 

“Guess not,” Jake lets out a laugh, which surprises himself. “Jenn used to always get mad at me for never getting her any, but what am I supposed to do? Show up with a bouquet and an epi-pen? I literally start tearing up whenever I’m around any kind.” 

You lose it all over again, your laughter spilling through Jake’s phone like sunshine, and Jake doesn’t even realize he’s smiling so widely until his cheeks start to ache. 

But what Jake does realize is something unexpected: for the first time in forever, he can talk about Jenn without a single pang of…anything. No weird tension, no lingering sadness—just a casual mention and then…nothing. 

It’s freeing, this feeling of lightness, like an invisible weight he didn’t know he was even carrying has suddenly lifted. He wonders if this is what moving on really feels like, if he’s found his emotional freedom. He wonders when it changed. 

He wonders maybe it’s not when—maybe it’s who.  

And he wonders if it’s you. 

Today was supposed to be Jake’s day off. The golden ticket to rest, recharge, and not think about anything.

Key term: supposed to be.

Instead, Jake found himself knee-deep in the trenches of emotional warfare—and losing spectacularly.

The morning started innocently enough. No alarm, no schedule, just the soft promise of freedom that was so close within his reach. But by noon, Jake came to a harsh realization.

Freedom was a lie.

Because every step, every sight, every breath, was haunted by one inescapable thought: You.

It started with a boutique. Him and the boys had wandered down a cobblestone street in a city that Jake had already forgotten the name of—city number ten or eleven of tour? He barely knew anymore. But then his gaze caught on a mannequin in the window.

Big mistake.

The outfit on display—similar to his mind—had you written all over it. Immediately, his brain spiraled.

Y/N would love that. She'd probably drag me and all the guys in and force me to hold her bag while she tried it on.

He had to physically stop himself from dragging the group inside to purchase it on the spot.

Next? A coffee shop. And there it was: a poster featuring some limited-edition iced peach latte. Jake froze, staring at it like it held the answers to life itself.

You’d love it. You would order it, (well, you'd make Jake order it, because you hate talking to cashiers), sip it, smile, and probably rant about how overpriced it was—even though Jake would pay for it—yet you’d still finish the entire thing.

And then, you'd steal half of his drink, too. 

Because you always did. 

And Jake always lets you.

The final straw? A cat. Just a random stray, peacefully lounging on a sunny part of sidewalk, looking like it had zero interest in the world around it. And even that didn't escape Jake's you-obsessed filter. Without even thinking, Jake whipped out his phone. 

It was instinctual at this point.

Jake [1:06PM]: (attached - one image) Jake [1:06PM]: thought you'd like this one :)

Because obviously, you needed to see that cat. Immediately.

By the time Jake collapses onto his hotel bed that evening, he feels like he’d run a mental marathon—except instead of a finish line, every road led back to you.

He flops onto his bed, hoping sleep would save him from the storm raging in his brain.

Spoiler alert: it doesn't.

Instead, it leads him to the complete opposite. He stares at your name on his phone, your contact picture, your last messages to him. 

You texted him two hours ago—a sweet goodnight message that ended with your usual, 'Don't hesitate to call if you need me.' 

Casual. Normal.

But it probably didn't mean, 'Hey, please interrupt my sleep from the other side of the world so we can discuss your ongoing emotional crisis over me.'

Don't do it, Jake. The remaining rational brain cells within him beg him to stop. You're being dramatic. She's not the air you need to breathe.

But at the same time, deep down, Jake really thinks you are.

The worst part? You two already had talked on the phone earlier—when Jake had another fashion crisis and couldn't decide what to wear for his day off exploring with the guys. Of course, you laughed at him, teased him, but then helped him pick something out anyways. Typical.

Personally, if it was up to him, he'd spent his whole day off on the phone with you. Talking about everything. Or nothing. Whatever you wanted, Jake would've done it, no hesitation.

Don't do it, Jake, his brain warns him again. What kind of obsessed-lunatic calls the same person twice in one day?

Answer: Jake.

But as Jake lies in his hotel bed, thoughts heavily clouded with the image of you and the sound of your voice, he realizes...this wasn't just a phone call thing. No, this was deeper, worse. And somewhere between staring at the same patch of ceiling and replaying every memory of you on a mental loop, Jake tries to rationalize it.

She’s just a good friend, Jake. A best friend, even! You think about her a lot because she’s cool and funny and…and she has the laugh of a Disney princess...But it’s normal to think about your friends, right? Right??

But the more he tries to downplay it, the clearer it becomes. This was something else.

And then it hits.

Like, really hits.

Oh my god. I like her.

Jake shoots upright, widened eyes filled with horror, as if the realization itself just physically smacked him across the face.

No, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening.

Jake buries his face in his hands, groaning. But the groan quickly turns into a muffled scream, because the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets.

Because he thinks you're going to be the death of him. He really, really likes you. Not in the vague, 'Oh, she’s cute' way, but in the write-her-name-in-a-heart-and-doodle-little-stars-around-it kind of way. The stare-at-her-texts-like-they’re-poetry kind of way. The imagine-her-laughing-at-your-dad’s-jokes-and-enjoying-your-mom’s-meals-forever kind of way.

And this feeling? It's new. It's terrifying. 

It's exhilarating.

Jake realizes in this very moment that he's never experienced this heart-pounding, face-flushing, breath-taking kind of feeling towards anyone. Sure, his past relationship had been meaningful in its own way, but now Jake is realizing that the foundation of his past relationship was tangled up in obligations and unspoken expectations. A tightrope act of Jake having to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect idol, the perfect...everything. He never realized how suffocating it was until now—until you. Because this feeling with you?

This was pure. Simple, clear, and undeniable.

Your sheer existence proved that it's possible for someone to understand him better than he understands himself. Your laugh had a way of making everything feel lighter, like the weight of the world had been momentarily suspended. Just one look from you alone somehow always manages to make him feel like he was still worthy even on his worst days.

With you, Jake felt...himself, for once. Not Jake Sim, global popstar. Not Jake Sim, the boyfriend of so-and-so. Just...Jake.

Jake's heart pounds as the realization sinks in. He's now transitioned from screaming into his hands to his poor hotel pillow.

Because as clear and strong as this feeling is, the doubt is just as overwhelming. What if you don't feel the same? What if this ruins everything?

But at the same time...what if you do feel the same way?

What if this is his chance? The butterfly effect that changes everything? What if you're it? You have to be.

And so, like an idiot possessed, Jake's finger is one millimeter away from pressing call on your name again.

Because, obviously, the best way to deal with overwhelming feelings is to confess them from a hotel room five countries away.

Obviously. 

Because what if he didn't call? What if he spent the rest of his night spiraling into an endless pit of unspoken feelings and overthinking, arms flailing as he knows the only way out of the pit is with your help?

What if his brain explodes with the sheer amount of feelings he has for you and he never has the chance to tell you ever again?

He presses call.

The line rings twice before you answer.

"Jake?" Your voice is soft, laced with surprise and just the faintest trace of sleep. "It's late for you, is everything okay?"

Jake's brain short-circuits. What time even is it for him? He has no idea, and frankly, he doesn't care.

"Yeah," he blurts, far too quickly that he winces at himself. He clears his throat before trying again, "I mean, yeah. Everything's fine. I just...couldn't sleep."

"Oh," you hum softly and Jake swears the sound alone could single-handedly resolve global wars.

Yeah, he definitely likes you.

"Is something stressing you out?" The genuine concern in your voice makes his chest tighten.

"No—well, nothing like that," Jake rushes to assure you, sitting up straighter in bed now, as if you could see him. His voice lowers, almost shy, "I just...I was thinking about you."

Silence. Jake's heart pounds so loudly, he's sure you can hear it through the phone.

"About me?" You finally tease, light and playful, but there's something softer underneath. "What did I do to deserve such an honor?"

Jake lets out a nervous, breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair, “You exist. That’s what.”

Another pause. He hears you exhale softly, and the sound alone sends his heart into overdrive.

"That was smooth," your voice is quiet, soft, as if teetering on the line of teasing and nervousness at the same time. "Ten out of ten, Jake."

"I'm serious," Jake tries his best to keep his voice from cracking, the weight of his feelings pressing down on him. "I was lying here, thinking about everything, and I realized something."

"And what's that?"

Jake's throat goes dry. His heart is screaming at him to say it, but his brain begs him to reconsider.

But Jake's sure he's lost all his rational brain cells for sure at this point, so he swallows hard, and braces himself for impact.

"I like you, Y/N."

The words spill out, raw and unpolished, but so utterly true.

“I mean, I really like you," Jake continues, his voice barely above a whisper now. "More than a friend, more than anything.”

The line goes silent, and for a split second, a lifetime of pure awkwardness and torture of not having you in his life anymore flashes in his vision, and he rushes to fill the void.

"I know this is probably the worst timing ever, and probably really scary...and it's okay if you don't feel the same way," his voice definitely cracks this time, laying everything bare, but he doesn't care anymore. "But I had to tell you. I can't pretend around you, not when being around you feels like the only time I'm really me."

Then, you let out a soft exhale—a disbelieving, breathless sound that makes Jake's heart skip a beat.

"Jake..."

"You're...you're everything, Y/N. You make life better just by being in it. And I haven't even seen you in four months, but you're all I think about," Jake lets out a small laugh, swallowing the remainder of all his pride and dignity. "I promise, when I'm back...I'll prove it to you. I'll show you how much you mean to me. Anything it takes. "

For once in his life, Jake feels completely vulnerable—and yet, strangely, it feels right.

Because he means it, every word.

He's never meant anything more.

The line had gone quiet after Jake’s confession, his words echoing in your ears. 

“I like you, Y/N.” 

No, not like. Really, really like. 

You spent the last few days replaying his words over and over, dissecting every syllable, every tiny inflection in this voice. At first, it didn't even seem real.  

A part of you still thinks it isn't—that this is all a cruel dream and you're going to wake up any second now back in the real world. The one where Jake Sim, the boy who turns heads and steals hearts without even trying, didn't just confess his deepest, most vulnerable feelings for you in a single phone call. 

But no. He said it, alright. Clear as day.  

First, all you felt was pure happiness. Maybe it was hearing his voice everyday, or maybe it was seeing how his face lit up through the screen when you picked up his video calls—but somewhere along the way, you knew it was something deeper. 

Something that made your heart skip when his name lit up your phone, something that left you craving his voice to make your day feel complete. And now? Now the boy who’d effortlessly become your favorite part of every day was telling you you’d done the same for him. 

But then, came the fear. 

Because what if this was just a rebound? What if you were just a soft landing for him, a way to patch up the holes left behind by his past? Here you were, standing at the edge of something terrifyingly real, wondering if you were just a step in his recovery process—a way to fill the cracks, but not the kind of permanence you were beginning to crave. 

You weren’t naive enough to see Jake’s past relationship didn’t still linger in the corners of his mind. You’d seen him struggle with it before, how hard he’d tried to convince himself he was fine. What if you were just the next step in his healing, rather than something real—a Band-Aid for a wound that wasn’t even yours to heal? 

And worse—what if you let it happen? What if you let yourself fall, only to hit the ground at an alarming speed, and...splat. Not just a regular, embarrassing tumble, no. But the kind that leaves you flattened on the pavement like a cartoon character who ignored every warning sign. 

Because that’s exactly what it would feel like, wouldn’t it? Giving it, letting yourself hope—only to crash and burn spectacularly. 

Deep down, you knew you weren’t just risking a little heartache. Because Jake? Jake had quietly claimed a permanent spot in your heart at this point. 

You were risking everything. 

And the worst part? 

You were already halfway there. 

That was the reason why you told him you needed time. The reason why all you could manage to respond was a meek, 'I just...I need to think about this.' And to his credit, Jake hadn't pushed. Of course, not.  

But now, three days later, you were no closer to an answer. If anything, the time apart had made everything worse. 

Because as the days stretched on, with every passing hour, every text you didn’t send and every call you didn’t make, one thing became gut-wrenchingly, undeniably clear: 

You were already his. 

You miss Jake’s voice, his laugh, the way he rambles about the most random things late at night. You miss how, somehow, he made you fall asleep with a smile on your face from the other side of the world. You miss him, that even in his absence, he was still your first thought in your mind when you woke up and the last before you drifted to sleep. 

And no amount of overthinking or second-guessing could change the truth that finally settled in your chest like a secret you weren’t ready to admit to yourself:

You were his. Completely. 

The only question now was whether you’d let yourself believe he was yours too. 

"Y/N?"  

"Jungwon," you groan helplessly into your phone. "Help me."  

A pause. Then, "Are you sure you meant to call me? It's Jungwon, not Jake," he teases lightly. "I can go get Jake if you meant—" 

"Jungwon!" You cut him off, panicked. "I'm being serious. It's about Jake, dummy."  

"Oh," his tone shifts instantly as he senses the seriousness in your voice. "Did something happen? Because I swear, for the past three days, Jake's been moping around like a kicked puppy, and I was gonna ask you about it because I know you guys have been talking a lot more, but I didn't want to push, and—" 

"That's exactly it, Jungwon!" You wail into your pillow, your voice muffled. Great, now you feel even worse, knowing Jake is moping around, waiting for you.   

"What's exactly it?" Your best friend presses, voice curious. "I need specifics, Y/N."  

You hesitate, the words clinging to the back of your throat like they're too heavy to admit. Finally, you take a deep breath and force them out.  

"Jake told me he likes me, Jungwon. Like really, really likes me. He gave this whole monologue about how I'm all he can think about, and it was so cute, and it made me want to explode from joy and fear all at once, and I don't know what to do!"  

A beat of silence. 

Jungwon sucks in a dramatic breath and then, "Wait, wait, wait. Back up. First of all, this is not news to me."  

You blink, as if he can see your look of shock over the phone, "What?"  

"This was obvious, Y/N. The guy's been smitten with you for months. You guys literally have been talking every day since we left."  

Your jaw drops, "So what? You and I talk every day! How is this any different?"  

Jungwon snorts, "Y/N, we text every day. About minuscule things. Like me reminding you not to forget your keys and you ghosting my last text. But you and Jake? You guys talk for hours—into the illegal hours of the night, mind you. Trust me, I know. Hotel walls are thin."  

You feel your cheeks flushing, "That doesn't mean anything."  

"Doesn't it?" Jungwon's voice is laced with amusement. "When's the last time you called me just to hear my voice?"  

"Jungwon."  

"Exactly."  

You groan again, "But Jungwon, what if…what if he's not over Jenn? What if I'm just a rebound?"  

Jungwon goes quiet for a moment, his tone softening when he finally speaks, “Jake’s not like that, Y/N. You know that. He wouldn’t tell you he likes you unless he meant it.” 

“Yeah, but—” 

“Look," he interrupts. "Jake’s a lot of things—annoyingly loud, for one—but he’s not the kind of guy who’d use someone, especially you, as a rebound. If he said he likes you, he likes you.” 

You bite your lip, his words settling over you like a warm blanket—because you know they're true.  

“And for what it’s worth,” Jungwon continues, “I think you like him too.” 

“I..,” you falter, your heart hammering in your chest. “I do.” 

“Then what are you waiting for?” 

You sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the nerves coiled in your stomach, “I don’t know. I guess I’m scared.” 

“That’s okay,” Jungwon says gently. “But don’t let fear stop you from something that could make you happy. You deserve that, Y/N. And so does Jake.” 

You close your eyes, letting Jungwon's words sink in. Deep down, you know he's right, he always is.  

"Thanks, Jungwon," you say, your voice softer now, tinged with gratitude.  

"Anytime," he replies, and then, with a teasing lilt, "But seriously—you should probably tell him soon. I can't stand watching him mope around like a sad, abandoned puppy. It's seriously tragic, like, to the point where I’m gonna have to start letting him win at Mario Kart."  

A small giggle escapes you, light and genuine for the first time in three days, "I know, I know. Eventually."  

"Y/N," his voice turns playfully stern, like a parent lecturing their toddler. "Eventually isn't a time. Just call him. You've been thinking about him nonstop, haven't you?" 

Unfortunately, Jungwon knows you too well. Your silent response betrays you, and Jungwon lets out a triumphant hum.  

"Thought so. Well, you should go. You have a call to make."  

You sigh, a mix of nerves and a new determination bubbling, "Okay, okay. But if this goes horribly wrong, I'm blaming you."  

"It won't. But deal," his tone is reassuring, confident, like he already knows how this story ends. "You got this, Y/N."  

The call ends, and the quiet still of your room taunts you. For a moment, you sit there, staring at your phone, the little icon of Jake's contact picture—a selfie the two of you took together many years ago—staring back at you like a challenge.  

Your fingers hover. Your heart races, your palms feel clammy, and your stomach twists.  

But then you remember Jungwon's words.  

You deserve this.  

And so does Jake.  

You take a deep breath, then you press down on his name.  

The phone doesn't even reach the second ring before he picks up.  

"Y/N," Jake’s voice is rushed, a little breathless.  

"Hey," you say softly, suddenly unsure where to start. "Um, were you busy?"  

"No, no," he quickly responds. "Not at all. You could call me at 3AM, and I still would’ve picked up."  

"That's unhealthy, you know," your lips twitch as you lay back in your bed, taking a deep inhale. You missed this—you missed him.  

"For you? Worth it," you can hear the smile in his voice, but along with the slight tension just beneath it—the faintest tremor that tells you he's been waiting for this call, maybe agonizing over it just as much as you have.  

You swallow hard, gripping the phone tight, "Jake, about...our last call..."  

"Take your time," he says gently, though you don't miss the way his voice wavers ever so slightly. "I mean it, Y/N. There's no pressure."  

You exhale shakily, closing your eyes, “I’ve been thinking a lot, too. About you. About…us.” 

Jake stays silent, but you could hear the faint sound of him shifting, like he was bracing himself. 

You squeeze your eyes hard, as you let the words finally come out, "I like you too, Jake. A lot. So much, honestly. It's just..."  

"It's just...?" Jake's voice repeats softly, as if that's all he can manage to let out in the midst of his nervousness.  

You hold your breath, scared of what you're about to admit—to Jake and to yourself. 

"It's just...I'm scared," your voice comes out barely above a whisper, "I'm scared that this is too good to be true. That you're saying all of this because...I don't know—you're trying to move on...from the past, or because you're lonely on tour, or—" 

"Y/N,” Jake's voice cuts through firm, but gentle.  

"You're not…a rebound, or a distraction, or anything like that," he starts quietly, each word deliberate. "And this isn't about...Jenn, or me being lonely, or whatever else you think. This is about you."  

Your breath hitches as you take in his words and open your eyes, hoping that staring at the ceiling above you could somehow ground you.  

“You’re the one who makes me laugh when I’ve had the worst day,” Jake continues. “You’re the one I want to talk to, even when I’m running on zero sleep. You’re the one I think about when I’m on stage and wish I could just look into the crowd and see you there. It’s you, Y/N."  

His words are overwhelming, too much, and you're unsure how to even process them. Your throat tightens, and you can feel the subconscious tears prickling at the corners of your eyes without even realizing they were forming.  

"Are you sure, Jake?"  

"More than anything else, Y/N," he says immediately, like the words have been waiting on the tip of his tongue. "And I want to do this right, Y/N. No rushing, no expectations. Just...tell me what you need from me, and I'll do it. Whatever it takes, I'll do it."  

The sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache. You can picture him on the other side of the line, sitting in some unfamiliar hotel room, his brows probably furrowed in that adorable way they always do whenever he tries to find the right words.  

You bite your lip, a small laugh escaping despite the tears sliding down your cheeks, “You’re so cheesy, you know that?” 

Jake lets out a small laugh, immediately easing from the tension that hung in the air.  

"Only for you," he mumbles, his voice soft but steady.  

You sigh, the sound reaching Jake on the other side. There's a pause, a moment of mutual understanding in silence, just listening to the quiet, peaceful hum of each other's breathing.  

“Jake?” You say finally, your voice trembling. 

“Yeah?” 

“I think…” You take a deep breath, and you think your heart is about to break out of your chest. “I think I want to try too.” 

The silence on the other end was electric, and for a moment, you think maybe the call dropped. Then, you hear the unmistakable sound of Jake’s laugh—soft, relieved, and filled with so much warmth that it instantly makes your own heart feel lighter. 

“You're driving me crazy, Y/N,” he says, his voice almost breathless, but tinged with humor.  

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he says, a smile clear in his tone.  

“I hope I am,” you quip, and it makes him chuckle, the sound warm and full of relief. “Guess I’m stuck with your cheesy lines now huh?” 

“Stuck with me?” Jake repeats, pretending to sound offended. “No way. I’m stuck with you, Y/N. And trust me, I’m not going anywhere.” 

His words are so simple, yet so full of promise, and it leaves you feeling a little breathless. 

“Good,” you whisper, your cheeks warm. “Because I don’t want you to.” 

“Hi Jake,” your voice bright as you immediately pick up his call and see his face appear on the screen, his expression softening when he sees you. 

“Hey pretty,” he replies, without missing a beat, his voice laced with a soft fondness that never fails to make your stomach flip. 

You roll your eyes, failing miserably to hide the blush rising to your cheeks, “Oh, so now I’m pretty, huh?”

Jake smirks at your words, leaning closer to his phone, “Nah, you’ve always been pretty. Just didn’t have the guts to say it to your face before.”  

You groan, dramatically planting your face into your pillow as an attempt to bury the smile on your face, your voice muffled, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Jake.”

“Stop that, don’t hide. Let me see your face,” his tone dips somewhere between playful and pleading, and you give in, lifting your head just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your red cheeks. 

“Cute,” he says with a knowing grin, leaning back against the headboard of his bed. 

“Whatever,” you murmur, but the smile on your face remains. “How was your day today?” 

“Mmm, it was good,” Jake says, running a hand through his messy hair. “Busy, but good. I forget how loud the fans get each time. But it’s nice. Makes it feel worth it, you know?” 

“I’m glad,” your smile grows as you watch him speak, feeling nothing but proud of him. “You deserve all of it, Jake.” 

“Stop,” now he’s groaning, throwing a hand over his face to cover his shy expression. “You’re going to make me blush.” 

“Mm, looks like you already are, Jakey,” you shake your head, laughing softly. 

“Maybe a little,” he admits as he peeks at you through his fingers, his grin boyish and infectious, and you can’t help but laugh again. 

The call falls quiet for a moment, but it’s not awkward—just comfortable, like a shared breath. Jake shifts, turning on his stomach and propping his phone up against some pillows to make sure you can still see him. 

“I miss you,” he says suddenly, and there’s something raw in his tone, something unguarded that catches you off guard. 

Your heart stutters.

“Jake, I literally called you this morning,” you tease, your tone light and sweet. But still, you can’t resist, “I miss you too.”  

“You don’t sound convincing enough,” his eyes narrow at you, the pout forming on his lips quickly turning into a small smirk. “Say it like you mean it.” 

“Fine,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “I miss you so, so much Sim Jaeyun, that it’s physically painful and I might conbust on the spot if I don’t see you soon. Happy?” 

“Very,” he grins into the camera, making your heart beat faster. Ugh. "But please don't combust for me. Who else am I supposed to call every day?"  

"Oh, please, you'd survive," you shoot back, smirking. "I'm sure anyone else would be more than happy to fill the spot."  

Jake clicks his tongue, shaking his head dramatically. "Nope, no one could keep with you, Y/N. You're a handful."  

"Excuse me?" You scoff, mock offense all over your face. "You're calling me a handful? Jake, who's the one that texts me random song lyrics at 3AM and expects me to interpret their deep meaning like it's poetry?"  

"Okay, first of all, they are deep," he argues, his grin widening into something boyish and utterly unfair. "And second of all, I know you secretly love it."  

You let out a laugh as you roll onto your side, propping your phone against the pillow next to you.  

"Maybe I do," you admit with a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant despite the smile on your face. "Or maybe I don't. That's up to you to find out."  

Jake shakes his head, laughing softly, his eyes twinkling as they linger on your face. 

"You really are a handful, Y/N," his voice teases while his eyes remain on you through the screen, as if studying you, and it makes your stomach flip.  

You glance away, suddenly feeling shy again under his unwavering gaze, "Stop looking at me like that."  

"Like what?" His voice is innocent, his eyebrows lifting in feign obliviousness.  

"I don't know—like you're trying to memorize my face or something," you mutter, your cheeks burning.  

"Maybe I am," his voice dips, low and soft. "Honestly wouldn't complain if that's the last thing I ever got to remember."  

His words hit you square in the chest, and despite how ridiculously corny they are, they manage to take your breath away. You don't know if you'll ever get used to this newly discovered side of Jake—the one that speaks so candidly, so sweetly—like you're the only person in his universe.  

But honestly? You love it. You love how he makes you feel, how his words wrap around you perfectly like they were tailor made just for you. But as much as you love it, you fear it too.  

Because the more you fall into this feeling, the more you wonder if there's anything solid beneath it. Despite all the soft words shared and sweet nothings exchanged, at the end of the day, deep down inside you can't help but ask yourself if his words, if he, is even yours to begin with. 

"Jake..."  

"Hmm?" His voice is gentle now, the teasing edge in his voice fading.  

"You really mean it, don't you?" You ask, your voice quieter now, the question laced with your vulnerability. "You're serious about...this? About us?"  

"Of course I am," he answers without hesitation. His soft eyes stay trained on you as he sits up in his spot in bed, as if to show just how serious he is. He lets out an exhale, as if mentally encouraging himself to continue, "I know we're not...whatever this is, officially yet. But I do know that I like what we have."  

He brings his phone closer, a small smile on his face, his expression earnest, "And that I like you. A lot."  

You swallow hard, his words settling in your chest in the best way possible. Because despite everything—the doubts, the undefined boundaries—you can't deny the truth of how you feel.  

"Me too," you admit, your voice steady and honest. "I like what we have too. And I like you."  

You pause, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you feel the remainders of your walls crumbling down, "You make me happy, Jake. Like annoyingly happy."  

"Good. Because you make me happy too," His smile spreads wide, the kind that is contagious and could light up an entire room. "Annoyingly happy, if we're being specific."  

You roll your eyes again, though you're smiling just as much, "We really are insufferable, aren't we?"  

"Oh, completely," Jake nods, his tone playful. He's more relaxed, back to leaning against his headboard as he looks at you with a softened gaze. "We'll figure it out, Y/N. I promise. Whatever this is, or whatever it becomes, I'm not going anywhere. And honestly? I just can't wait to see you. Finally."  

"Me too," you perk up, your eyes sparkling with excitement as you bring your phone closer, "It feels like it's been forever. This tour feels so much longer than the other ones for some reason."  

"It does," Jake hums in agreement, his eyes thoughtful. "But you know what? I think It's because, this time...I actually have something waiting for me. Something—or someone—I want to come home to. And that makes every day feel so much longer."  

You think, at this point, you should check yourself into the emergency department for the sheer amount of times you thought your heart was going to pound out of your body from Jake's words alone.  

“You're ridiculous," you laugh, the sound bubbling out so naturally you couldn't hold it back even if you tried. "It's getting kind of out of hand how cheesy you are, Jake."  

"And yet," he fires back with a smirk, "you love it. Admit it. I've cracked the code."  

"Maybe I do," you tease, repeating your words from earlier as the corners of your mouth tug up into a smile you can't suppress. "But don't let it get to your head."  

"Too late," he grins. "It's already there."  

Jake [2:15AM] : can I call you?   Y/N [2:16AM]: jake isnt it like 2AM for you?   Jake [2:16AM]: well…yea but I was thinking about you so… 

Your feet are kicking before you even realize, and before you can type up a response, your phone lights up with Jake's name and contact picture. 

“Hi,” you answer softly, trying not to let the giddy smile growing on your face take over. 

“Hey pretty,” he greets, voice warm and easy as he brings a hand through his messy hair. The lights in his room are off, and the dim glow of his phone screen casts a soft light over his features, making him look unfairly good for someone who should be fast asleep.  

“You have two seconds to give me a good reason why you’re here talking to me instead of getting a good night’s rest before your concert tomorrow,” your eyes narrow in mock disapproval as you give him a knowing look.  

Jake laughs lightly, “Hey! Okay, hear me out. I couldn’t sleep, so I did something.”  

You raise an eyebrow, “You did something? That sounds ominous, I’m scared.”  

“Yeah. For you,” he states plainly, leaving you even more confused for a second more before he continues. “I made you a playlist.”  

Your brain stalls at how simple he says it—so casual, as if not packed with so much meaning.  

“A playlist? You—wait, why?”  

Jake shrugs, “I don’t know—I guess I just wanted you to hear what I hear when I think about you. Which, by the way, is a lot. So..”  

You blink at the screen, your mouth slightly agape at the boy who's watching you with that lopsided grin that makes it practically impossible to function. You scramble to collect yourself, but the more you try, the worse it gets, and by now, you think he definitely took some secret class on how-to-make-Y/N-completely-flustered.  

And aced it.  

And of course, he notices—because Jake always notices.  

“You okay there?” His voice breaks you out of your overwhelming thoughts, his teasing tone laced with curiosity.  

“Define okay,” you mutter, rubbing a hand over your face in an attempt to cool down the warmth spreading like wildfire across your cheeks. “Because if it means not feeling like a complete fool over a guy who’s halfway across the world, then no, I’m absolutely not okay.”  

Jake lets out a low laugh, the sound affectionate as he leans closer to the camera, the light reflecting off his shining eyes, “If it helps, you’re not the only one losing your mind here.”  

“Oh yeah?” you arch an eyebrow, “What’s your excuse, Sim?”  

“My excuse?” He tilts his head with a small, exaggerated frown, pretending to think. “Hmm…let’s see…I’m hopelessly into this girl who somehow makes being teased fun, who makes me smile just by hearing my name come out her mouth, and who—“  

“Okay! Stop, stop, enough,” your voice strangled as you try to talk through the fit of giggles you couldn’t hold down. “You’re gonna kill me, Jake. Like, actually. I’m not strong enough for this.”  

Jake laughs at your flustered reaction, holding up a hand of surrender, “Fine, fine. But seriously, look.”  

You hear the sound of faint typing in the background before your phone buzzes with a text containing a link.  

“It’s called Songs That Remind Me of Y/N. Creative, right?”  

You open the link, and your thoughts are dazed at the sight of the endless playlist of songs. Some new to you, some you recognize—all of them feeling like little pieces of Jake's heart he's handing to you.  

"I think it's perfect," you murmur softly, scrolling through the titles, the warmth and appreciation for him now feeling almost too overwhelming.  

"Yeah?" Jake's eyes shine with a mixture of pride and hope as he watches your reaction.  

"Yeah," you repeat, switching your phone screen back to his face and giving him a genuine smile. "I love it. Thank you, Jake."  

Jake hums in response, the look on his eyes gentle as a beat of comfortable silence falls between you two.  

"Well, I should probably sleep for real now, but...listen to it when you miss me, okay? Because chances are, I'm probably doing the same."  

You pause, letting the weight of his words settle over you—vulnerable, yet undoubtedly honest. "Deal. I'll listen to it right now, then."  

"Good," his smile grows, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Because I am too. I miss you, too."  

You both linger for a moment, neither wanting to end the call just yet, simply enjoying each other's pure, raw presence.  

"Sweet dreams, Jake," you finally say, your voice gentle as you slowly let sleep take over. 

"Only if they’re about you," he quips, grinning.  

You roll your eyes, your chest feeling lighter, "Go to bed, Sim."  

"Yes, ma'am," he winks, and with one last fond look, he ends the call, leaving you smiling at your screen like the absolute fool he's turned you into.  

"I can't believe you're finally coming back tomorrow," you murmur into the phone, your voice soft but buzzing with excitement as you take in the sight of Jake sprawled out on his bed. The dim glow of his phone highlights just enough of his face to remind you how impossibly cute he is—even with the pillow creases on his cheek.  

"I know," Jake sighs dramatically, flopping onto his side. His head sinks into the pillow, and you hear a soft fwump as he shifts to find a comfortable spot. "I just wish I wasn't landing so late. If I could, I'd come see you the second I land. Like, bags in hand, running to your door."  

"You'd probably trip and knock yourself out with your carry-on, Jake," you snort but then smile, the imagine of Jake rushing to get to you playing in your head.  

"First of all, I'm very athletic," Jake raises an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. "Second, that's exactly what would happen, but at least I'd be unconscious on your doorstep, which is still closer to you than I've been in months."  

Your heart does a little flip at the sound of the sincerity in his voice as you try to keep your tone casual, "It's okay, Jake. I'm not going anywhere. We'll see each other the next day? If you're free, maybe."  

Jake's face softens in that stupidly adorable way he always does when he knows you're just trying to play it cool. "Free or not, I'll find a way. Nothing's stopping me from seeing you, Y/N. Not jet lag, not my schedule, not even my manager if he tries to barricade me in the building."  

A giggle escapes you, partly at his sheer determination and partly to cover up the butterflies constantly causing the havoc in your stomach when it comes to him. And Jake, of course, looks all smug, like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. Typical Jake—sweet, determined, and impossibly endearing.  

But as much as his words make your cheeks warm, there's another reason why you're holding back your smile.  

Because, despite what Jake thinks, you're going to see him much sooner than he expects. All thanks to a message you got earlier from the group's manager:  

Y/N! Hope you’re doing well! We all miss you and can’t wait to see you soon! As you know, the boys are returning tomorrow late at night, but the staff and I want to plan a little surprise party at their apartment, they have no idea. The team’s already prepping everything. We’d love for you to come—it wouldn’t be the same without you. 10 PM! See you! 

You're practically vibrating with excitement, each passing minute on the call with Jake making it harder and harder to not just blurt it out and tell him you'll be seeing him in less than 24 hours. And, somehow, hearing his sleepy voice on the other side of the call, completely oblivious, just makes it even harder to contain yourself.  

Jake's brows furrow as he watches you try (and fail) to suppress your grin, "What's up with you? You're smiling so much, and I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything that funny."  

"Me?" You blink innocently, even though your heart skips a beat. But you shrug casually, masking your smile with a feigned yawn. "Nothing's up, you've just been acting too cute tonight. That's all."  

"You're lucky you're cute," Jake narrows his eyes at you, but even you can see through the dim lighting the red creeping across his face, "And that I'm tired. Or else I'd call you out for how you're gaslighting me right now."  

"Gaslighting?!" You sputter out, breaking out into laughter. "How am I gaslighting you for calling you cute?"  

"Because I know you're hiding something—" Jake replies, his pout audible in the way his voice drags. He yawns mid-sentence, the soft sound and the image of his eyes fluttering closed making your heart melt. "—and you're using my sleep-deprived state against me. It's not fair."  

"I'm not hiding anything!" You protest, your face one second away from cracking into a guilty smile. "Go to sleep—you're barely holding it together over there."  

"Like I'd ever fall asleep on you," he mutters, his voice heavy with drowsiness. "You're way too important for that."  

His words hit you like a train, and you have to physically restrain yourself from squealing, burying your face in your pillow before you let out a strangled, "Okay, enough sap for one night, Romeo. Go to bed."  

"Mmhm, fine, fine," Jake hums before he yawns again. "Goodnight, pretty. Dream sweet dreams, okay?"  

You let out a breath, losing the last remaining bits of your composure at this point—but in the best way possible, of course.  

"Goodnight, Jakey. I'll see you soon."  

The day flies by in a whirlwind of anticipation and sheer chaos, the emotional hurricane brewing up inside you rooting from one source and one source only.  

Because ever since you woke up this morning, every step, every sight, every breath was haunted by one inescapable thought: 

Jake.  

The morning was a blur of pacing around your room like a Sims character who was glitching after being told to "Go Here", overthinking every possible scenario for how tonight—when you finally see Jake in person—could go down.  

Because, really—how exactly do you approach the boy you've been friends with for years, who you've fallen for, in a room filled with people, including yours and his closest friends, all while pretending your heart is trying its hardest to not control, alt, delete itself?  

Not exactly something you can Google.  

Like, do you hug him? Does he hug you? What if he doesn't hug you? (Unacceptable, you decide, before pacing faster.)  

By the time afternoon rolls around, you're about 78% sure you've developed three-and-a-half migraines from the sheer pressure of it all. Not to mention, the borderline illegal amount of caffeine coursing through your veins isn't helping—why did you think drinking four cups of coffee was a good idea? (You didn't. Your brain has officially gone rogue.)  

And now, here you are. The buzzing apartment of the boys is alive with the sounds of laughter, the crinkle of party streamers being hung up, and two staff members arguing about where to put the over-dramatically large "WELCOME HOME" banner. You, along with everyone else, await for the signal, passing time by keeping up small conversation with the friends and staff you've gotten to know over the years—all the while you desperately try to keep your nerves from causing a mental crash out right here and now.  

Eventually, one of the staff gets the alert that the group has landed and is minutes away, the energy immediately shifting, both in the apartment and mentally. You settle in place in the back of the crowd, near the door but not too near the door—because 1) you're 99.99% sure you're not emotionally stable enough to be front and center, and 2) the staff and camera crew are already hogging the entrance as if this was the world's greatest comeback (and spoiler alert—to you, it really is.)  

The lights dim, the chatter fades, and the room hums with anticipation. And meanwhile? Your heart won't. Stop. Pounding.  

Any second now.  

Your nerves bubble up even more than you thought is humanly healthy, and you're not sure if you're about to a) pass out, b) puke, c) or both.

Simultaneously.  

The sound of multiple footsteps echoes faintly in the hallway, followed with muffled voices—one of them the unmistakable sound of Jake's laughter. Your breath catches.  

And then the door swings open.  

"SURPRISE!"  

The boys freeze in the doorway, their suitcases still in hand, the looks of genuine, yet pleasant, confusion plastered on all their faces. Sunghoon's eyes dart to the snacks table, Jay looks like he's deciding whether to laugh or roll his eyes, Sunoo is on the verge of tears, and Jake—Jake looks beautifully, stupidly confused.  

Your eyes immediately find Jake's face, like some natural gravitational pull you can't fight, and suddenly it hits you: he's here. In front of you. No blurry video calls, no glitchy Wi-Fi interruptions—just Jake.  

It feels surreal, like you're living in a sugar-induced dream that you aren't sure of is real yet or not. Last time you saw him in person, he was merely just Jake, one of your best friends, your go-to guy for bad jokes and late-night rants about life. But now? Now he's Jake—the boy who's somehow become the main character of your life (and brain capacity) over the past five months.  

Every memory of your late-night calls, every teasing smile, every time his sweet, groggy voice promised he'd prove himself to you—it all comes rushing back. Like those cheesy montage scenes in a rom-com, except instead of a whimsical romantic song playing in the background, it's the sound of your brain, and heart, screaming WHAT NOW Y/N?! 

But then, finally, his eyes land on you.  

The moment your eyes meet, you think your lungs give up on life. Breathing? Never heard of it. It's like someone hit the pause button on the entire universe, and you're convinced that the only thing to ever exist is Jake looking at you with that soft, unreadable expression.  

But you manage half a second of calm—half a second—before that softness on his face disappears. Just as quickly as it appeared, it's replaced by...something else. Something you can't quite put your finger on. Something you've never thought could exist on his face. A flicker of...conflict? Hesitation? Like he's staring straight at you…but also from miles away at the same time.  

His jaw tightens slightly—so slightly only you would notice with how intently you're looking at him—and for a split second, his hands fidgets at his side before he quickly clasps it over the handle of his suitcase. And right as you process it, right as you're about to convince yourself it's just the million grams of caffeine rushing through your blood that's making you hallucinate and see things— 

He looks away.  

He looks away.  

He looks away. As if you're not even standing there, as if he didn't just short-circuit your entire brain. His attention shifts to the nearest staff member, greeting them with a quick nod, and suddenly he's smiling and laughing at something they're saying like nothing just happened.  

And just like that, the universe hits the play button again, and you're left standing there—staring, blinking, wondering if the last thirty seconds of your life was, indeed, a caffeine-induced hallucination after all. Surely. Right?  

Because Jake definitely didn't avoid you on purpose. Nope. Because that would be insane. Insane, you think to yourself, as the invisible angel on your shoulder continues to whisper into your ear the same sweet words Jake's been telling you the past five months about how much he cares for you, how much he likes you—remember all those times he said it?  

Right. Right. Of course, he does. But still, you stand there frozen, trying to ground yourself, even though your hands start fidgeting at your sides anyway. Great. Fantastic. Cool, cool, cool. This is fine. 

You mentally curse yourself for not being closer to the door after all, and then, you mentally curse every single person in this room for not magically gaining telepathic powers and knowing that you, personally, were trying to have a moment.  

It's fine. You'll find him again. He's just too preoccupied with all the staff members and people to greet. Busy Jake. Social Jake. You're just imagining things. Definitely.  

Trying to distract yourself, you glance around the apartment, everything suddenly feeling suffocating. Maybe a snack. Maybe a drink. Maybe a portal to another dimension. 

Shaking your head out of your spiraling thoughts, you bite the inside of your cheek to ground yourself and turn away from the crowd, quickly settling yourself near the beverage table, pouring yourself a cup of...whatever this is—your mind too cloudy to even bother looking at the sign on the table.

You don't know how much time passes, and frankly, you don't even know if you're fully conscious. Your mind is still living in the past, lingering in that moment where you locked eyes with Jake for the first time in five months, and despite all the overthinking you did this morning of all the possible scenarios that could happen—this was not one of them.  

You're about to pour yourself a second drink just to keep your thoughts busy when you feel a tap on your shoulder.  

"Y/N!"  

Before you can fully turn around, you're engulfed in a warm hug, the familiar scent of Jungwon's cologne immediately grounding you, "Oh god, I missed you. Took me forever to find you with all these people."  

"Jungwon!" You exclaim, a genuine smile lighting up your face despite the emotional tug-of-war in your chest, because, of course, leave it to your best friend to immediately ease your inner panic. You squeeze him back, playfully ruffling his hair as you pull away, "I can't believe they made you grow out your hair. Now you actually look older than me for once."  

He stares at you, blinking. "Y/N. I am older than you."  

"Literally by a week. We all know I'm mentally older," you deadpan, crossing your arms.  

"Okay, I take it back. I didn't miss you after all," he scoffs as you laugh, pulling him into another hug for good measure just to annoy him.  

"I'm so glad you guys are back," you say as Jungwon grabs the drink in your hand and takes a sip himself as he listens to you. "I was dying of boredom without you guys."  

Jungwon raises an eyebrow, "Uh-huh. Definitely didn't sound like boredom all those nights you called Jake at 2AM."  

You freeze. Oh. Great. The one topic you were trying to avoid (how you were going to avoid it—given you're at his literal apartment, with his literal group members, and literal staff members that all work for him—you're not sure. Avoidance was a doomed plan from the start, I fear).  

But before you could answer, Jungwon continues, "So...are you guys, like, a thing now? I know you guys were just talking this whole time, but now that we're back, are you guys gonna be in a relationship and all that stuff? Because if so, I need a heads-up. As much I love you both, I don't know if I can stand you two being all couple-y right in front of me—oh, and also—"  

"Jungwon." 

"—if he hurts you in any way, I swear to god I will not hesitate to—"  

"Jungwon!"  

He stops, wide-eyed, before flashing you a sheepish smile. "Sorry. But seriously, what's happening? You haven't given me any updates!"   

You open your mouth to respond, but the words get caught in your throat. Because if he had asked you yesterday—or even an hour ago—you would've been able to answer confidently. But now? After Jake's apparent Olympic-level avoidance of you? You're not so sure anymore.  

"I...I don't know," you mumble, the words barely audible. Jungwon tilts his head, leaning closer to catch them.  

"What do you mean, you don't know? You guys haven't talked about it?" His brows furrowing as he studies your face, clearly picking up on your hesitation in true best friend fashion.  

"I, uh, I haven't...seen him yet," you admit, hoping the crack in your voice doesn't reveal the real reason you haven't approached the boy in question. "Everyone's busy, and I didn't want to get in the way."  

Jungwon gives you a look like you just said the earth is flat.  

"Get in the way? Y/N, you're insane. This is the guy who's been counting down the days to see you. If anything, everyone else is in his way."  

You give him a helpless shrug, but Jungwon isn't having it. He grabs your shoulders and spins you around, pointing across the room to one of the other snack tables past the crowds of people.

"Look. He's right there. Alone. Perfectly free to talk to you. Go."  

Your eyes land on Jake, back facing you and Jungwon, casually scooping chips into a bowl. You hesitate, scanning his relaxed posture, and the knot in your stomach tightens. Because that's exactly the problem. He's perfectly free. And if he's so excited to see you, how come he hasn't spoken to you yet?  

But before you can voice your doubts, Jungwon gives you a not-so-gentle nudge forward, "Go talk to him before I carry you over there myself."  

And next thing you know, Jake's right there. In front of you. His back is to you still, his eyes scanning the various snacks lined on the table, completely unaware of the full-on mental breakdown occurring just behind him.  

This is your moment, you tell yourself, despite the endless alarms going off in your brain. Every single nerve in your body is on high alert, screaming at you to abort mission, abort! But before you can give in to your panic, your hand is already reaching out, lightly tapping his shoulder.  

"Jake!"  

Jake turns around, and for a moment—a fleeting, fragile moment—you catch it. The way his eyes widen slightly at the sight of you. The way his lips part as if they're about to break into that familiar smile you've missed for months. But just as quickly, similar to earlier, it vanishes, replaced by that flicker of hesitation, and it's enough to make your breath catch.  

"Y/N."  

Your name on his lips used to sound like a warm promise. Now?

Now it feels like an afterthought. 

His voice is calm, steady—too steady, stripped of every ounce of emotion, and not at all like someone who's been counting down the days to see you. He rubs the back of his neck, his gaze flickering to the crowd behind you before reluctantly meeting yours, "It's been so long."  

Your stomach sinks. That's all he had to say? You were completely wrong. You spent precisely 23 minutes of your morning debating if he was even going to give you a hug—but now? Screw the hug, he won't even give you a full sentence. Something's off, and your mind races to figure out what happened, as if you missed a major chapter of your own life.  

Trying to ignore the sharp pang of something lodging itself in your chest, you offer a small smile, hoping to break the tension.  

"Are you...okay? I thought...I don't know, I thought you'd be more excited to see me," the words spill out before you can stop them, and you want to crawl into a self-dug hole from how raw and vulnerable you feel.  

Jake shifts uncomfortably, glancing at the floor, then at you, "No, yeah, of course I am. I'm just...really tired. The flight, you know. And all this," he pauses to gesture at the environment around you two, "it's a lot."  

You stare at him in disbelief, waiting for him to crack—silently begging for some sign of the Jake you thought you knew. But all you get is a shrug.  

A shrug.  

Suddenly, his words feel like a punch to the gut, let alone the way he can't even fully look you in the eyes. In just those few seconds, the invisible angel on your shoulder—whose voice sounded just like Jake's—whispering those promises into your ears suddenly disappeared with no trace in sight, as if it was never there—as if it was never yours—in the first place. Every late-night call, every whispered promise, every shared laugh. 

As if they never belonged to you.  

You swallow hard, trying to keep the growing lump in your throat from choking you, hoping your emotional turmoil isn't blatantly obvious to the boy in front of you.  

"Right," you murmur, nodding as if his excuse makes perfect sense. But it doesn't. "That's...understandable."  

The silence that follows is suffocating. Not the comfortable kind of warm silence you two used to share, but the awkward, unbearable kind that makes you claw at your own skin and makes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole right then and there.  

Jake shifts again, and for a moment, his eyes meet yours. There's something there—but before you can grasp it, a voice from the crowd calls his name.  

"I—I should go," he mutters quickly, stepping back. His voice is quiet, his tone almost apologetic, but his words feel like he's hammering the nails to your coffin. "I'll...see you later though, yeah?"  

He doesn't wait for an answer. He's gone before you can say anything, before you can process his words, and for the second time that night, he leaves you standing there with your heart in pieces and your thoughts in chaos.  

For a moment, you swear you're paralyzed. You can't move. Can't breathe. Your vision blurs as every doubt you'd buried for months comes rushing back, screaming in your face louder and crueler than ever. You've never felt smaller, more foolish.  

Your heart beats erratically now, fighting against the realization of the truth settling in your chest—a  heaviness so suffocating it threatens to take you under. The Jake who stood in front of you just now—guarded, distant, a stranger—was so unlike the boy who had made you laugh until your sides ached, who'd stayed up with you on countless late nights, sharing secrets no one else knew.  

The Jake who made promises.  

Your mind spirals. Maybe...maybe those promises were never meant to be kept. Maybe they were just words to fill the time.  

Maybe you were just someone to fill the time.  

Your breath starts to pick up and you're frantically scanning the room, desperate for an escape from your thoughts through any familiar face. Your eyes finally land on Ni-ki and Heeseung casually sitting on one of the couches, their carefree laughter a stark contrast to your inner implosion. You beeline to them, forcing a smile on your face as you plop down beside them.  

"Y/N!" Ni-ki grins the moment he spots you, scooting over to make room. "Where've you been hiding? Thought you ditched us for good."  

"I've been here,“ you give the boys a small smile, praying they don't notice the way your hands tremble as you sit down, “just...mingling."  

Heeseung raises an eyebrow at the faint crack in your voice, but doesn't push further, "Well, we all missed you. Pizza pig-out sesh and games tomorrow? You can tell us everything we've been missing out on."  

You laugh, trying to keep the conversation light, but it comes out shaky, your voice tight under the weight of your hidden emotions, "I think it's you guys who need to catch me up."  

Ni-ki tilts his head, narrowing his eyes at you, "Are you okay? You look...off. What—did someone spill punch on you? Lemme guess, was it Jake?"  

At his name, the knife in your stomach twists even deeper, and you look away, hoping they don't notice the way your face falls.  

But Heeseung notices. Of course. His gaze sharpens, the playful teasing in his expression replaced with a softened concern, "Y/N...what's going on?"  

"I'm fine," you reply a little too quickly, your voice a little too high. You plaster a smile on your face, turning back towards the two boys, concern written all over their faces. "Just tired. Long day."  

Neither of them look convinced, but before Heeseung can say anything else, Ni-ki nudges him and gestures towards something across the room.  

"Hey...isn't that—"  

You follow Ni-ki's gaze, and you immediately wish you didn't. 

Because just like that, your world crumbles.  

There she is—Jenn.  

You're not even wondering when she got here, how she got here, or even why she's here in the first place. No, not even.  

Because all that's occupying your mind right now is the way she's there, perched comfortably on Jake's lap on one of the couches in the distance, her arm draped casually over his shoulder.  

The way she's laughing freely at something he says, her hand lightly brushing against his as if it's second nature, her fingers briefly pushing a strand of hair away from his face.  

The way Jake doesn't even flinch, the way he doesn't pull away.  

The way he smiles at her.  

That same smile—the one you've spent weeks convincing yourself was yours—now feels like a cruel joke.  

And that does it. For the first time that night, despite all you endured, you shatter.  

You force yourself to look away, but it's too late. Your chest hollows out deeper and deeper with every passing second, until all you're left with is a final realization:  

Maybe you never really had him at all. He was never yours in the first place.  

Ni-ki and Heeseung exchange glances before looking at the expression on your face—all the color drained, as if you were merely just a body, paralyzed. Both of them open their mouths, but nothing comes out, clearly unsure of what to say, but you don't give them the chance. You're already standing, grabbing your bag at your side with trembling hands.  

"Y/N, wait—" Heeseung starts as both him and Ni-ki stand up with you, but you shake your head, his voice distant and muffled as if he's speaking to you underwater.  

"I need some air," you mumble, but you're sure neither of them hear you, your voice barely above a whisper.  

Before they can stop you, you're already weaving through the crowd, your vision blurring as you fight the overwhelming urge to break down. You stop at the door, your eyes quickly scanning the cluttered floor for your shoes. For a moment, you think you've made it—escaped the suffocating air and heartbreak clawing at your throat—but a mistake you didn't mean to make stills you.  

You glance over your shoulder, and there he is.  

Jake's eyes meet yours, and the world comes to a stop. His easy smile slips from his face and is immediately replaced by a flicker of panic, his brows drawing together as if he's just realized something, but you don't stick around to analyze it.  

Not when your heart is already in pieces on the floor.  

You quickly look the opposite way, fighting the sting of burning tears threatening to spill over as your fingers fumble desperately with the zipper of your coat when you hear a concerned voice from behind you.  

"Y/N?" Jungwon's familiar voice cuts through your haze, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder. "What—where are you going?"  

"Home," you whisper, avoiding his gaze as you finally manage to get your coat on, turning towards the door.  

Suddenly, Jungwon steps in front of you, a firm frown on his face, "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Talk to me—"  

"Jungwon, I need to go," you look up at him as your voice cracks for the nth time that night, feeling Jake's set of eyes on you still, "Please, Won."  

He hesitates, clearly confused but more worried over anything else, "Okay, but I'm driving you."  

You sigh, shaking your head, "No, it's fine—"  

"I'm driving you," Jungwon repeats, leaving no room for argument as he's already grabbing his coat and walking out the door.  

Not bothering to look behind you to see if Jake's still watching, you follow Jungwon out to the hallway, the chill of the air feeling like a fresh wave of emotions crashing over you all at once: embarrassment, anger, heartbreak.  

You're too caught up in your spinning thoughts to even notice the sound of frantic footsteps behind you until a voice cuts through the silence.  

"Y/N."  

His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago.  

But still, you hear it anyway—because of course you do. Because it's him. And no matter how much you wish you didn't, you'd silence the entire world just to hear that voice.  

And you hate it.  

You hate how your entire body freezes mid-step, you hate how every nerve within you comes alive at the sound of his voice, you hate how your heart stumbles, as if trying to root itself in the pain you've been trying so hard to outrun.  

You turn around slowly, against every ounce of logic telling you to keep walking. And when your eyes land on him—on the raw, desperate, almost broken look on his face—you hate yourself even more.  

Because even now, even after everything, your heart still sinks at the sight. And you hate how you give him the power to break you with just one look.  

“Can we talk?” Jake asks, his voice low and unsteady as he takes a small step towards you.  

From beside you, Jungwon hesitates, his gaze flickering between you and Jake. After a beat, he nods, "I'll get the car. Wait here."  

He spares Jake a final look of warning before nudging you for comfort and stepping into the elevator.  

The elevator doors close, leaving you and Jake alone in the hallway, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions.  

You swallow hard, your throat tight, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"  

You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter. 

He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair.  

“I—I messed up tonight. I didn’t mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation, his heart breaking at the way your tears are a second away from falling over. 

"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed.  

"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."  

“Well it definitely didn't feel that way,” your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt finally bubbling to the surface. “After everything you said—promised, everything we talked about…” 

"I know, I just—" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll break if he gets too close. "I was nervous." 

"It’s been so long, and I didn’t know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it right—to make it perfect—but instead, I just—" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest. 

You let out a hollow laugh, the bitter sound foreign even to your own ears, “Well, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.” 

“Please,” he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. “Y/N, please don’t think I don’t care about you. I do. More than you know. I just—I don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear."  

"Then why was...," you look at him, your eyes still stinging from all the unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, “...why was she all over you tonight? Why didn’t you stop her?” 

He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, “It wasn’t what it looked like. I didn’t—I couldn’t—” 

“You couldn’t,” you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting him deeper. “I should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?"  

Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at you—eyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right words—confirms everything you were afraid of. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lips—a sound caught somewhere between a scoff and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts you’ve tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you like waves, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear you’ve ever had about this moment. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true. 

"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want."  

"No, no—Y/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And it’s you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I said—I meant it."  

His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see the way your tears finally spill over.  

"You promised," you let out softly and slowly, through your sniffles. “You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you...you hurt me anyways."  

"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate as he shakes his head. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing against yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one."  

You shake your head again, the tears now freely rushing down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "I—I don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I want to, I really, really do. But tonight..."  

Jake’s face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes turning glassy themselves. The sight of you—broken, because of him—cuts deeper than he thought was humanly ever possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I—God, please. Please give me a chance.” 

You look at him—at the boy who became your safe space these past few months—and all you feel is the ache in your heart.  

"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out through your broken voice as you take a step back. "I think I just need space."  

The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in the face, "Y/N..." 

Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stay—to give him the chance he's yearning for. But your brain knows better. 

"I have to go," you murmur softly, as you take a final step back, turning away before more tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look back—to let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged.  

Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he lets you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say something—anything—but the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes.  

To Jake, the sounds of the party are now far in the distance, drowned out by the pounding in this ears. Instead, the hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating steps—a cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away.  

The car ride starts in complete silence, the only sound between you and Jungwon the soft hum of his engine and the faint sound of whatever playlist he was playing in the background. You stare out the window, watching the city lights blur together, your coat clutched tightly under your grasp as if it's the only thing keeping you sane.  

Jungwon glances at you out the corner of his eye, his hands steady on the steering wheel. He doesn't say anything at first, but you know him well enough to sense the storm brewing in his head.  

"Okay," he finally says, as if on cue, breaking the silence. "Spill."  

You don't respond, your eyes still fixed on the surrounding city breezing by you, as if the passing view could somehow erase the memory of him. Your fingers dig further into the fabric of your coat, your knuckles going numb.  

Jungwon gives you a few more moments of silence, but when you don't make any sign of responding, he speaks up again. 

"Y/N," his voice softens, but the edge of his concern cuts through. "Don't do that thing where you shut people out. Especially me, you know I hate that."  

"I'm not—" you start, but your voice wavers, and the lie dies on the tip of your tongue.  

“You are," he exhales sharply from beside you, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Look, you don't have to tell me everything, but don't pretend you're fine when you're clearly not."  

The words sit heavy in the air as you swallow hard, your throat burning as you finally whisper, "It's stupid, Jungwon."  

He doesn't take his eyes off the road, but his tone is firm, "I'm sure if it's got you looking like this, it's not stupid."  

You want to argue, to tell him to just let it go, but the hurt pressing down on your chest is too much. The ache in your body threatens to take over again, and you hate it. You hate how the tears form again, how you can still see Jake looking at you like that, like you were breaking right in front of him and he didn't know how to stop it.  

Jungwon waits. He doesn't push, because he knows you. He knows you're just hurting, struggling to grasp your overwhelming emotions, so he gives you the time you need. But his quiet patience is unbearable, like he's peeling back every layer of your resolve just by being there, and eventually, you give in.  

"It's Jake," you finally choke out, the name tumbling from your lips like a curse.  

Jungwon doesn't respond immediately, but you can feel the shift in his demeanor. His jaw tightens, and his fingers flex against the wheel, "I figured as much honestly, after what I saw in the hallway, but what exactly happened, Y/N?"  

You shake your head, your voice shaky, "It doesn't matter. I—I just feel so stupid, Won. Like, how could I think..." 

You trail off, biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood. Jungwon gives you a softened glance, signaling you to continue whenever you're ready to.  

You take a deep breath before you speak up again, "How could I ever think I was good enough for him, you know?"  

There's a silence that follows after your words and you hear Jungwon take in a deep inhale.  

"This isn't on you, Y/N. This has nothing to do with whether you're enough or not," Jungwon's voice is steady, but there's a firm edge to it now. "Look, I don't want to overstep or anything...and I definitely don't want to vouch for him—especially right now but...are you sure he's not just freaking out?"  

You tilt your head over at the boy next to you, "Freaking out about what?"  

"You," Jungwon says simply like it's the most obvious thing in the world.  

"That doesn't make any sense," you start shaking your head. "Why would he—"  

"Because you're you," Jungwon interrupts, his tone matter-of-fact as he keeps his eyes trained on the road in front of him. "And Jake's a complete idiot, but even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."  

You blink, Jungwon's words sinking into all the cracks formed within you, "You really think he cares about me that much?"  

“Are you kidding?” Jungwon scoffs, his expression a mix of disbelief and exasperation. “Y/N, the guy looks at you like you hung his moon and stars. Trust me, I’ve seen it.” 

And you don't know what comes over you, but Jungwon's words hit you like a punch to the gut, and suddenly, the tears you've been holding back come rushing forward, hot and relentless. You cover your face with your hands, your body shaking as the sobs you've been swallowing all night finally make their way out.  

Jungwon quickly looks over at you and, without hesitation, glances over his shoulder to pull over to the side of the road, the soft clicking of the hazard lights mixing in with your cries. When he finally puts the car in park, he doesn't say anything and just leans back in his seat, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder—close enough to remind you he's there, but not too much to smother you.  

"I'm sorry," you manage to gasp out between sobs, your hands going up to wipe your face as all the overwhelming emotions finally take over you.  

"Don't," Jungwon says firmly, "Don't apologize for feeling like this."  

You take a shaky breath, trying to pull yourself together as your sobs eventually start to slow down, "I just don't understand. If he cares so much, why does this hurt so bad?"  

"I don't think it's about how much he cares," Jungwon sighs, as if carrying your pain alongside you. "Sometimes...sometimes people care so much that they don't know what to do with it. They panic. They overthink. And they mess up in the worst ways because they don't know how to handle what they're feeling."  

You look up at him, your face still wet with tears, "So you're saying it's an excuse."  

"No," Jungwon replies, quickly shaking his head fervently. "Definitely not an excuse. Jake screwed up, Y/N. Big time. And it's 100% on him to fix that, not you. But—"  

He pauses and thinks for a second, his words deliberate, "—it doesn't mean his feelings aren't real. Or that he doesn't care about you."  

You look away, glancing down at your hands in your lap, fiddling with the hem of your coat as you take in Jungwon's words.  

"It's just feels like...like I'm the only one who got hurt here, Won. Like I'm the only one who..," you trail off, unable to form your thoughts into a coherent sentence, but leave it up to Jungwon to always fully understand you.  

"You're not the only one," he says softly. "He's hurting too, Y/N. Maybe not in the same way, and maybe he doesn't deserve any sympathy, but I can see it. I've seen it. Jake...Jake isn't Jake without you. And honestly? That idiot is probably tearing himself apart right now."  

Your lips part, but the words don't find you. Instead, you let the weight of Jungwon's words sink in, unsure what to do with how true they may be.  

"You don't have to forgive him right now," Jungwon adds after a moment. "Hell, you don't even have to forgive him at all. Honestly, that might satisfy me just a bit. But maybe...maybe you owe it to yourself to hear him out. Not for him, but for you."  

You turn to Jungwon, your lips forming into the smallest pout, "But what if it just makes everything worse?"  

He gives you a faint, grounding smile, equal parts reassuring and honest.  

"Then you walk away knowing you did everything you could—for yourself. And if it does come to that," he shrugs lightly, "we'll figure it out together."  

You're quiet for a long moment, the thought of walking away from Jake and everything he means to you terrifying you…but you know Jungwon's right. You owe yourself the chance to try—even if the unknown outcome fails you.  

With a shaky breath, you nod, brushing away the last of your tears, "Thanks, Jungwon."  

"You're welcome," Jungwon hums in acknowledgement before his lips curve into a small grin, the atmosphere lightening slightly, "but, uh, could you at least use the tissues in the glove compartment before my seats turn into a snot rag?"  

You manage to let out a small scoff of disbelief as you roll your watery eyes, "You're the worst."  

"Nah," Jungwon replies with a cheeky grin as he shifts the car back into drive, but not before he reaches over to ruffle your hair playfully. "C'mon. Let's get you home."  

The knocking at Jungwon’s door comes at the worst possible moment. 

He’s halfway through organizing his desk—something he only attempts when he’s too frustrated to sit still—and the last thing he expects to see when he swings the door open is Jake, standing there looking like he hasn’t slept a millisecond all night. 

Jungwon makes no sign of saying anything or making a move, just staring at the older boy in question. Jakes shifts uncomfortably, running a hand through his messy hair, not used to seeing Jungwon in this sour, expressionless mood.  

"Hey," Jake finally says, his voice hesitant.  

“What do you want?” Jungwon deadpans, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He knows he sounds harsh, but, frankly, he doesn’t care.  

Jake falters for a moment, his gaze dropping to the ground, "I...I need your help."  

Jungwon's eyes narrow, "With what, exactly?"  

He knows what, but he's not letting Jake off that easily. Not after last night.  

"With Y/N," your name hangs in the air between them as Jake's voice cracks, and Jungwon clenches his jaw before he lets out a frustrated sigh.  

"I don't think you're in any position to be asking me for help right now."  

"I know," Jake says quickly, his hands raising in surrender. "I know, okay? I screwed up big time. I—God, I don't even know where to start, Jungwon. I just...I don't want to make things worse."  

Jungwon lets out a bitter, humorless laugh, stepping back and motioning his head to let Jake enter his room, "You've already got a good head start on that, I see."  

Jake steps inside, awkwardly hovering near the door as Jungwon moves to sit on the edge of his own bed. He doesn't offer Jake a seat, and Jake doesn't ask for one.  

"She cried, you know," Jungwon says after a few moments of silence, his voice stone cold. "I had to pull over because she couldn't even hold it together long enough for me to get her home. I've known her my entire life, and I don't think I've ever seen her cry that hard, Jake."  

Jake flinches, the words physically hurting him, "I didn't mean to—"  

"Yeah, I know," the younger boy cuts him off, his voice sharp, his anger rising on behalf of you. "You didn't mean to hurt her. But you did. And now you're asking me to help you fix it like it's that easy."  

"It's not easy," Jake mutters quietly, his hands fumbling with the edge of his hoodie. "Nothing about this...none of it is easy. But I know I messed up, and I—I can't just leave things like this, I can't lose her, Jungwon. I care about her too much."  

Jungwon deadpans at his friend, fighting back the urge to scoff in his face, "If you cared about her, you wouldn't have let her walk out of that party looking like her entire world was falling apart."  

Jake looks up, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with something Jungwon can't quite name...desperation, maybe. Or guilt. Or both.  

"I didn't know what to do," Jake finally admits, his voice still barely above a whisper, as if admitting to himself for the first time, too. "I saw her, and she looked so...broken. And I—I panicked, I didn't know what to do, and by the time I realized, she was gone."  

Jungwon leans back, groaning as he runs a hand over his face. The anger bubbling within him hasn't fully faded, but he knows there's something else now—something softer, something that makes it harder to keep his protective guard for you up.  

Because he knows Jake isn't lying.  

"You don't get to half-ass this, Jake," Jungwon finally says after he thinks to himself. "She's not some random girl you're trying to impress, she isn't Jenn. This is Y/N. If you want to fix things, you have to be ready to own up to everything. No excuses, no backing out. She deserves that much."  

Jake nods quickly, his eyes wide and hopeful at Jungwon's slight change in demeanor, “I will. I swear, I will.” 

"And don't think she's going to forgive you right away," Jungwon adds. "She's hurt. You have to give her time. This isn't about what you want—it's about what she needs."  

Jake swallows hard, nodding again, “I just want to talk to her. To explain. To tell her I’m sorry and—”  

His voice cracks, and he looks down, his hands trembling slightly. Jungwon lets out a sigh, his mixed feelings turning more into something closer to pity. Because as much as he wants to stay mad for your sake, he's known Jake long enough to know that he's a good guy—and that his heart is in the right place.  

But even more than that, he knows you. And he knows how much Jake means to you, even if you won't admit it, especially not now more than ever.  

"You're actually an idiot," Jungwon says after a few beats, his voice carrying a lighter tone now. "But for some godforsaken reason, knowing her, I think she might actually miss you."  

Jake looks up from his hands, his eyes searching Jungwon's face for any flicker of doubt, "You really think so?"  

Jungwon shrugs, standing up and moving towards his door, "I think you've got a lot of work to do if you want to earn her trust back. But...I think you still have a chance."  

Jake doesn't say anything as he follows Jungwon to the door, but the look on his face says enough—there's a new slight look of hope. It's small, but he's clutching onto it like it’s his lifeline.  

“You know," Jungwon says when he reaches the doorway. "Y/N’s not the type to let people in easily. She puts up walls—but with you…she let them down. You’re special to her, Jake, even if she doesn’t say it. Don’t throw that away. For her sake, and yours.” 

“I won’t,” Jake promises, his voice steady now. “Thank you, Jungwon.” 

Jungwon nods at the older boy before giving him a faint smile, "And just so you know, I defended you yesterday. So don't prove me wrong or I'm actually going to deck you."  

Jake lets out a weak laugh as he hangs outside Jungwon's door, "Noted. I promise I won't let her down again."  

Jungwon doesn’t respond, just closes the door with a soft click, and hopes—for all their sakes—that Jake means it.  

Jake [5:12PM]: hi Y/N   Jake [5:12PM]: i know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now. and i don’t blame you at all   Jake [5:13PM]: but i cant just stay silent and let this sit between us, and i value you too much to not respect you needing space and just show up at your door  Jake [5:14PM]: even though it’s killing me to stay away  Jake [5:14PM]: after you left the party last night, i went back inside. i told jenn that whatever we had in the past is exactly that, the past. and i swear to you, Y/N, there’s nothing between us. there hasn’t been for a long time. and it’s my fault for making it seem otherwise.   Jake [5:15PM]: and as for how i acted…i don’t even know where to start. i fucked up extremely. nothing will excuse my actions and i don’t expect you to forgive me. but i need to apologize properly, you deserve that much.   Jake [5:17PM]: please let me see you, Y/N. i don’t deserve it, and i don’t deserve you. but you mean everything to me, and i hate that i hurt you. and i promise, if you let me, i’ll do everything to make it up to you.  

You stare at the phone in your hand, the messages feeling like salt to an open wound. The words on the screen begin to blur together as tears prick your eyes, spilling over before you even realize it. You don't bother wiping them away—the sting in your chest too raw, too heavy. Each word feels like Jake is standing right there in front of you, his voice soft and broken, tangled with regret.  

You tell yourself to stop reading. You've already gone through the same messages at least a hundred times in the past ten minutes, overanalyzing each syllable as if they hold the answers to all of your questions.  

And yet, you can't stop.  

You want to be angry. You are angry. Or, at least, you think. Because beneath the flame of your anger that's already threatening to die out? There's an ache you can't ignore—a small, stubborn part of you that refuses to let go to the sincerity in his words, clinging onto the hope that he's telling you the truth.  

You mean everything to me, and I hate that I hurt you. I promise, if you let me, I'll do everything to make it up to you.  

The ache twists harder, curling into doubt. What if he means it? What if he's telling the truth?  

But of course, the fear rises just as quickly. Because what if he's not? What if you let him back in, and it all falls apart again? What if you let yourself believe in him, giving him the second chance he's asking for, only to have your heart shattered worse than before?  

And then, there's Jungwon's voice, soft but steady, cutting through the chaos brewing in your mind: "Even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."  

Your breath catches.  

Because that's the worst part. Knowing that maybe—just maybe—Jake really does care. Knowing that maybe he's telling the truth—and you're the one too afraid to take the risk, ready to build up the walls Jake's managed to get through.  

Your phone screen suddenly dims, pulling you out of your thoughts and back into the moment. You blink rapidly, wiping at your face, your mind a mess of emotions you can't untangle or describe.  

Fear. Hope. Doubt. 

And something else—something you're afraid to admit, but you know is unmistakably real.  

And it's stronger than the fear churning in your chest—it's something that's pulling you forward.  

Your heart pounds almost out of your rib cage as you let out a shaky breath, the weight on your shoulders pressing harder and harder with every second you hesitate. The ache doesn't let up, but neither does your hope.  

So you stop thinking altogether, letting your heart take control instead.  

You shut your eyes, as if bracing yourself for a crash, take a deep breath, unlock your phone, and let your fingers fly across the screen, each word feeling like a leap off a cliff.  

You hit send.  

Y/N [5:30PM]: hi jake  Y/N [5:30PM]: you can come over 

The soft knock at your door startles you, even though you know it’s coming.  

“Y/N?” 

His voice. Jake’s voice.  

Your heart clenches painfully, a conflicting mix of longing and hurt washing over you all at once. It hasn't even been a full day since the party, but the weight of his absence has already hollowed you out, leaving a hole you can't ignore. You know he's the one who caused it—that the cracks in your heart are his doing—but at the same time, the stubborn part of you whispers that he's also the only one who can mend them.  

You make your way to the door, your movements hesitant as you crack it open, peek out, and...there he is.  

"Hi," Jake says softly.  

He's a mess. A beautiful, saddened mess—his hair messy, like he's been running his hands through it all day, his eyes rimmed with the kind of exhaustion that isn't just physical. One hand is buried deep in his jacket, and in the other— 

"Flowers?" You ask, raising a brow in surprise.  

Jake's ears turn red. "Yeah. Uh, I didn't know if you had a favorite, so I got—"  

You open the door wider, revealing the full bouquet—daisies, tulips, roses, all wrapped together in crinkled tissue paper.  

"—a little bit of everything," he finishes awkwardly, his voice trailing off, pausing for a second before holding them out to you with a sheepish smile.  

Your lips twitch subconsciously, despite everything.  

"Jake, you're literally allergic."  

His mouth opens, then closes, the redness from his ears now spreading to his cheeks.  

"Well, yeah, but—," Jake mumbles, shifting on his feet. "—not, like, deadly or anything dramatic like that."  

He pauses, his voice dropping into something softer, more vulnerable, "I just wanted you to have them. That's all."  

You feel your insides tighten, the sincerity in his voice getting to you. For a moment, all you can manage to do is stare at him—at the way his eyes are silently pleading, wide and unsure.  

You hesitate for a second, then step back and open the door wider.  

"Thank you," you say quietly, your fingers brushing against his as you take the bouquet, sending a flicker of warmth through you. "Come in."  

Jake hesitates, his eyes searching yours like he's not sure if he's actually allowed to. When you turn away and walk towards your kitchen, he finally steps inside, kicking off his shoes quickly and hovering by the door like he doesn't know what to expect next.  

You set the flowers down on the counter, adjusting them carefully before turning back to him. He's still standing there, stiff and uncertain, the distance between you feeling larger than ever before.  

"So..." You say, crossing your arms tightly across yourself, shifting your weight as a way to ground yourself—though the lump in your throat makes it feel impossible.  

Jake exhales shakily, his hands fidgeting by his sides and gaze darting to the floor before finally landing on you, "I came to apologize. Properly."  

You blink at him, expression unreadable, "You already said sorry."  

Your voice comes out sharper than intended, surprising even yourself, but the words leave before you can stop them. Jake flinches, just slightly, but he nods, knowing he deserved that. 

"Not like I should have," he says, stepping closer, his voice low and careful, like he's afraid you'll run out of your own apartment. "I know I messed up. I hurt you, and I hate that I did. I hate that I made you feel like you weren't enough or that someone else could ever compare to you, Y/N."  

Your arms tighten around yourself as if the words might knock the breath out of you as look away, unsure if you can meet the rawness in his eyes.  

"Last night," Jake continues, his eyes filling with guilt, "I didn't handle last night right. And not just how I handled Jenn, but I let my own insecurities and stupid fears of being perfect for you get in the way. I let it happen and mess everything up. I let you think that you didn't matter to me, and I will never forgive myself, Y/N."  

His words hang in the air, heavy yet sincere, and for a moment, all you can do is stare at him as you process his words slowly.  

"And I don't expect you to forgive me either, Y/N," Jake's voice wavers before he continues, "but I need you to know that I'm so, so sorry. No excuses. For all of it—for making you feel like anything less than everything, for making you feel like you weren't my first choice. Because you are. You're my only, Y/N." 

His words hit you with a force that crashes over the walls you tried so desperately to build. They're overwhelming yet tender, like rediscovering a piece of yourself you hadn't even realized you lost. And you want to let them comfort you, you do. But the pain from last night lingers deep down, reminding you of why you built those walls in the first place.  

For a moment, the silence stretches on longer than you intend, the weight of his words settling in the air between you. Jake doesn't look away though—his gaze unwavering, vulnerable, and raw.  

As though he's laid himself bare before you, giving you the power to either accept or shatter him completely.  

When you finally find your voice, it trembles despite your best efforts, "Jake...I don't know if I can just forget what happened."  

"I'm not asking you to forget," he says quickly, taking another step closer until there's only a few feet left between you. "I just want the chance to fix us. I can't lose you like this, Y/N."  

Your breath catches at the proximity, his presence pulling you in like gravity. The pain from last night tries to claw its way back into your heart—sharp and bitter—but his warmth reminds you of something else that refuses to be ignored.  

That flicker of hope that's demanding your attention, screaming at you to just let him in—not just for his sake, but for you. 

You take a deep breath, finally meeting his gaze. "Jake, I don't need you to...to be this perfect person. I don't need you to prove anything to me."  

You pause, pushing past the lump in your throat, "Because since the beginning, I always believed you. And...I think I still do. Even after last night, I still believe you, Jake. No matter how hard I try to."  

Jake lets out a breath he thinks he's been holding in for hours, "Really?"  

"Yeah," you nod slowly, as if reassuring yourself as much as him. "But I don't need any of your promises or proof or any of that. I just...I just need you as you."  

His eyes soften at you as he nods so quickly it's almost desperate.   

"And I need you to be honest with me, Jake," you continue before he can speak. "If we do this, I need to know I can trust you. Because I don't know if I can do this...this waiting game anymore."  

"You can," he says immediately, closing the distance between you two, making your breath hitch. You can see the way his hands are trembling, the slight quiver in his lips. "You can trust me. No more hesitation. I'm all in, Y/N. This is it for me, you're it."   

You search his face for any sign of doubt, any speck of hesitation. But all you find is his sincerity—so hopeful and so real—the kind that makes you want to let him in fully and let your walls crumble all over again.  

So you do.  

"Okay," you say softly, almost as if you're testing the word.  

Jake's eyes widen, the relief and hope flooding his features. Slowly, as if asking for permission, he reaches out, his fingers brushing against yours tentatively.  

"Okay?" He whispers, his voice barely audible to you as his eyes flicker between your hands and your face.  

You nod, your own hand turning over so your fingers curl around his in an instinctive gesture that feels so natural it makes you want to scream. The warmth of his touch feels like the first real comfort you've felt in forever, and it's enough to make your resolve slip.  

"But," you add softly, your eyes not leaving the way his hand wraps around yours so perfectly, "this doesn't mean everything's fine. We need to talk. We need to figure out where we stand, and where we go from there."  

Jake nods again, his grip on your hand tightening slightly, "We will. Whatever it takes, Y/N, I'll do it. I need you to know how much you mean to me and I'll never stop trying to show you that."  

You let out a shaky breath as you take in his words, finally looking up from your intertwined hands to meet his eyes, your own slowly filling with the tears you've been holding back. 

"You really hurt me, Jake," you say quietly, your voice breaking from the sheer weight of your vulnerability being laid bare.  

Jake's face crumbles instantly, guilt etched into every line of his expression. Without hesitation, his free hand comes up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb light brushing away the tears that fall, as if he's afraid you might pull away.  

Your eyes flutter closed at the warmth of his hand, and despite the emotions raging inside you, you let yourself lean into him. It feels both reckless, yet inevitable, like free-falling and trusting—knowing—he'll catch you.  

"I know," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion he can't swallow down. "And I'll spend as long as it takes to deserve you, Y/N. I'll never make you feel like that again."  

You nod weakly, and before you can think too much, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into the safety of his chest, his chin moving to rest on top of your head as his warmth envelops you completely.  

And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself break, burying your face into his chest as the tears flow freely, the weight of everything finally breaking free as you let yourself melt into his tight embrace.  

It's not perfect. It's not a fix-all.  

But as Jake holds you close, whispering quiet reassurances into your hair, you know it's a start.  

And a start is all you need.  

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

epilogue:

“Hi, pretty.”  

“Hi, Jake.”

On the other end of the call, Jake lets out a playful scoff. Even with the slight lag, you can see his lips twitch into that familiar pout—the one that still gives you butterflies, no matter how many times you've see it now, even a year later.

“After all we’ve been through, you still won’t give me a cute pet name?” 

You roll your eyes, biting back a grin, “What do you want me to say? Hi, my handsome, perfect, kindest, funniest, boyfriend in the whole wide world?”  

Jake leans closer to the camera, his expression completely serious as if you should already know his answer, "...Yes." 

Giggles burst out of you, shaking your head at his antics. “You’re too cute to be doing all that, Jake. Pick a struggle.” 

He clutches his chest dramatically, “You know, what? You’re my struggle—I fly across time zones, run on three hours of sleep, and you still won’t give me a crumb of your affection?” 

“You’re exhausting.” 

“And yet…,” Jake trails off with a teasing smirk, his voice dropping into that playful, yet low lilt that still makes your stomach flip to this day. "Here you are, calling me at 1AM in the morning.”  

Your cheeks flush as you glance away from the screen, trying to ignore the way his teasing gaze makes you feel, "Don’t' get confused, it's not like I wanted to or anything. I just figured someone should remind you to go to bed or else you'll look like a zombie tomorrow at the fanmeet."  

Jake laughs softly, the sound grounding you in a certain way only he ever can. "You're so thoughtful, babe. My number-one hater and number-one fan, all at once. I'm so lucky."  

You send him an air kiss, the teasing grin on your face mirrored by the fond one tugging at his lips. He looks at you like he did in that first-ever call way back then—like you're his whole world, and he can't believe you're real.  

"How's the jet lag this time?" You ask, steering the conversation to safer ground.  

"It's not so bad," he shrugs, despite the clear exhaustion in his voice. "At least this trip is only for a few days. Then I can come back to the comfort of our bed."  

You raise an eyebrow, "My bed."  

Jake's eyes narrow, "Our bed. Just admit it—you miss me."  

You pause. "Maybe. Just a little."  

His grin widens, and for a moment, neither of you say anything, the conversation lulling into an easy silence—the kind of warmth that only comes with knowing someone so well.  

Finally, you shift under your blanket, getting comfortable as Jake watches you through this screen, his gaze tender, as though memorizing the curve of your smile, the way you tuck your hair behind your ear.  

"You should sleep," you murmur, holding your phone closer to your face. The glow of your phone reflecting off your soft features sends palpations to Jake's chest so loud he almost doesn't hear your words. 

"Mm, I really should," Jake sighs, though he doesn't move an inch. "I'll talk to you soon, yeah?" 

"Mmhm," you hum, your eyes closing at the softness of his voice.  

“Sleep tight. I love you,” his says, voice soft and deliberate, making sure you feel every word. 

“Goodnight, Jakey,” you tease, letting the smirk creep into your voice, peeking an eye open just to catch his reaction. 

Jake groans dramatically, running a hand down his face, “Y/N…not this again.”  

You giggle, the fondness within you growing tenfold as you take in his face—the slight pout of his lips, his messy hair, his eyes shining with unwavering adoration for you. 

“I said I love youuu,” he whines, dragging out the last word, his lips tugging into the tiniest of smiles, his entire universe reflecting from his eyes.  

Finally, you give in, smiling sweetly.  

“I love you, too, Jake. You already know.”  

And you’ve never meant anything more.  

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

Songs that Remind me of Y/N:

From the first call to forever—you've always been my favorite melody.   Yours, Jake <3

"As I Am" – Justin Bieber (ft. Khalid)  

"Daylight" – Taylor Swift 

"DIE 4 YOU" - Dean 

"Psycho, Pt. 2" – Russ 

"Heaven" – Bazzi 

"Every Kind of Way" – H.E.R. 

"Off My Face" – Justin Bieber 

"Before You" – Benson Boone 

"Sunflower" – Post Malone & Swae Lee 

"Pink + White" – Frank Ocean

"No Doubt" – Enhypen <3 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

update! if you enjoyed this and want more of no doubt!jake & y/n, check out my sequel series linked here for drabbles of their relationship <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

the end! if you made it all the way, this is for you:

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡♡♡♡♡♡

p.s. i wanted to leave the ending kinda up to interpretation—hence the time skip to a year later..but lowkey what if i wrote short drabbles/scenes of things jake does to gain Y/N's trust again, from small to big gestures etc etc..lmk if that's something anyone would wanna see !! (update — linked above now!)

<3, addie

m.list here!

tag list (love you all <3):

(i hope it let me tag everyone!)

@thesassy-mia @ikeulove @renaishun @xylatox @puma-riki @blackberryrains @dreamiestay @junislqve @lamin143 @dreamy-carat @etherealhan @vvenusoncasual @belovedsthings @somuchdard @sumzysworld @mirouie @almondtofu006 @fancypeacepersona @vivimura @hollxe1 @missthang600 @sugarikiz @sanasour @enhamonsterghoul @etherealriki

[fawniette]

older!toji who works in security, usually found working as a bouncer for numerous clubs and bars. he’s definitely the type of bouncer that’s annoyingly strict, looking over at id’s for far too long or confiscating them when he believes they’re fake.

older!toji who you first met when you was on a night out with your girls, you can get pretty hectic, so conversations with him were inevitable. but he couldn’t help but think you were the prettiest girl he’s seen and gradually gets to know you on a more personal level when he sees you out most weekends.

older!toji who’s definitely a little thrown off by your age gap, which prevents him from making any bold moves, even if you’re reciprocating it and making moves of your own. he doesn’t wanna come off as some creepy older man.

older!toji who does eventually give in and asks you for your number despite his thoughts. he’s never dated a younger girl before but he had really grown to like you, he also couldn’t deny the attraction he had for you and the undeniable chemistry between you. and besides, you’re still an adult at the end of the day.

older!toji who is so naturally and casually dominant, always leading you with his hand on your lower back, or making simple decisions for you both in day to day life. he’s always the one to lead while you can just simply turn your brain off.

older!toji who is such a gentlemen, taking you out on dates to wherever your heart desired before showing up to your door with a bouquet of your favourite flowers, and buying you gifts whenever you mentioned something you liked.

older!toji who just loves to spoil you. he loves seeing the way your face lights up whenever he buys you something, thanking him with a pretty smile that has him handing you his card all over again.

older!toji who takes you out of town for a few days when he decides he wants to make you his girl. he’s making this trip as romantic as possible for you, finally popping the question where you happily and wholeheartedly agree.

older!toji who then fucked you later that night for the first time with so much adoration, worshipping your body with his gentle kisses and soft touches, just admiring how beautiful you looked under him, bare and vulnerable all while whispering how well worth the wait was.

older!toji whose thrusts were deep, bottoming out inside of you as your pussy swallow him whole, fluttering around his shaft that causes a deep hiss to escape his lips as he snaps his hips forward, which elicits a pretty, surprised gasp from you.

older!toji who makes you cum multiple times on his cock as the pads of his thumbs circle over your clit, your velvet walls clenching over and over as your back arches with the snap of his hips. he just can’t get enough of your sweet moans.

older!toji who couldn’t finish without eating you out like a starved man, having you sat directly on his face as you buck you hips with his tongue working pure magic on your sensitive clit and glossy folds. and you can feel that cocky smirk he has as your squirm from your umpteenth orgasm of the night.

older!toji who had everyone worried besides your friends who already knew him when you introduced him as your boyfriend. he definitely has a certain look to him with his dark hair and eyes with that unbelievably sexy scar on the side of his mouth. not to mention he was over a decade older that you. it definitely wasn’t doing him any favours when trying to win over your loved ones.

older!toji who is so fiercely protective over you now that you’re officially his, swearing to himself that he’d never let you get into harms way. he’s more than willing to put his life at risk if it means keeping you safe.

older!toji who spoils you even more than he did before, always getting you anything that you ask for when he sees those pleading eyes and a pretty smile on your glossed lips. he has a real hard time resisting you even though you drain his bank account, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

older!toji who hates the idea of you going out with your girls now that you’re his. he knows it’s a toxic trait of his, and he’s never gonna go and stop you or try and control you. but he’ll always have something to say about it, which is usually met with your eye rolls that have him sighing.

older!toji who has just honestly just turned into such a lover boy since being with you. he wants you all to himself, even if he knows you should be out there having fun. but he’s trying to somewhat control himself.

older!toji who just loves and adores you so much. you take up all of his mind, and while you might be his controversially young girlfriend, he couldn’t care less about what anyone has to say about it. and honestly, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love the fact he can teach you all he knows.

[readwritealldayallnight]

Part five of ‘Bird Watching’ aka hot construction worker Simon x single mom reader

Some moments were simply indescribable, certain feelings too large to be named, emotions so grand they couldn’t adequately be put into words, lest their true value be lost in translation from lip to ear

Some things just couldn’t be said, but rather needed to be shown, to be felt

A chaste little thing, a short peck, the smallest, faintest of touches as you brushed your lips against his, more of a quick exchange of breaths rather than a proper first kiss, it had been the most honest response you could think of to express your growing feelings for the man who’d so easily closed his eyes and leaned in to you without hesitation

Nearly a week later and it’s still the only thing you can think of

His lips are at the forefront of your mind as you rock a tired Rosie back to sleep in the middle of the night, his terrible jokes popping into your head whenever you hear the sound of laughter coming from the telly in the background, his deep voice is rattling through your mind as you lie awake in bed, wondering what it would be like to have his strong, steady arms wrapped around you instead of cold, empty sheets

Hope

That was what he said the last time you saw him

He said you gave him hope

You and Rosie

The longer you know Simon, the more you realize you’re starting to hope for things too

You hope that he goes about his day with you on his mind as well, perhaps running into the most mundane things that now remind him of you, the sight of yellow flowers perhaps bringing a smile to his face

You hope he doesn’t work himself too hard during the day, a true ‘dad’ to his projects as he complains of achy knees and a back that sounds like milk being poured into Rice Krispies cereal each morning, the snap, crackle, and pops that come with such physical work

You hope he isn’t too tired to chat with you on the phone after work, something he says is impossible, though you can hear him stifling his yawns on the other end of the line as he tells you otherwise, asking you to keep telling him about yours and Rosie’s day

You hope that you give him butterflies, having seen that you can make him at least blush the most beautiful shade of crimson you’ve ever seen a man wear

You hope the butterflies swarming your own stomach each time you think of him aren’t going to end up eating you alive from the inside out

You hope he’s as sincere, as true, as real as he seems to be, as he continues to convince you he is

You hope this whole thing isn’t too good to be true like the nagging voice at the back of your mind keeps trying to convince you of

You hope you won’t regret letting him in

Right now however?

What you’re really hoping for, is for your sitter to show up already, so that you and Simon can go on what you hope is the first of many dates to come

He’d sent you a text not too long ago, letting you know that he’d just gotten finished with the job for the day, that he was going to head home to shower and change, and that he would come swing by to pick you up within the hour

You’d been looking forward to tonight all week long, ever since he’d asked to take you out on a proper date following the quick kiss in the kitchen, your heart rate feeling as though it’s been waiting to come back down to earth since then

You weren’t entirely certain what Simon had planned for the night, though he had mentioned you’d be grabbing dinner together at some point in the evening, the anticipation of both seeing him and the idea of this being the start of something new, had your stomach in knots

Not only that, but you couldn’t deny your nerves were also all aflutter thinking about leaving a now two and a half month old Rosie alone for the first time since she’d been born

It was a concept you were going to have to grow used to sooner than later, seeing as she’d be starting nursery up in not too long, but this was still uncharted territory for you, motherhood was something you were growing accustomed to, and the idea of leaving your baby alone for just a few hours was an even more foreign sentiment

Your best friend, someone who at least knew Rosie and her routine better than most, had graciously agreed to be the first person you entrusted your baby with alone, and though she wasn’t technically late yet, you were nonetheless surprised that she hadn’t shown up quite yet, knowing that she was always keen on extra time with the tiny baby who has finally starting to fatten up, her pudgy arms and legs getting softer and squishier each day

The little lady in question was currently hanging out in her bouncer, watching you flit and flounce around your room as you got ready yourself, listening as intently as a baby can as you spoke to her, doing your best to involve her in the process

“What do you think, babe? Red or pink for my lips?” You ask, holding up both lipstick tubes in front of her, smiling at the way she seems wholly engaged in the conversation, eyes flitting between your hands. “I think you’re eyeing the pink one. Is that your pick, hon? You want mama to wear pink tonight? Mhmm, I think you’re right. Maybe I should wear something pink too then, huh?”

Glancing down at her own little outfit of the day, an idea pops into your head, quickly out your phone and snapping a photo of Rosie, the onesie being one that your friend had gotten for her while you were still pregnant

You : ‘someone’s excited to show off her outfit to you’

You : ‘as long as she doesn’t spit up again lol’

You shoot off the texts along with the photo of Rosie wearing her corny ‘I love my godmom’ onesie before turning towards your closet, though it’s not long before you get a reply back from her

Sarah : ‘look at those cheeeeeeeeeeeks!!!’

Sarah : ‘i promise i’ll try not to eat your baby but like cmon look at her’

Sarah : ‘maybe just one bite’

Sarah : ‘love it! but you’re hoping to keep her in that til tomorrow? lol good luck with that’

Unsure if you’re reading her last message correctly or not, you quickly send her another few texts, hoping to clarify

You : ‘ikr and she still smells so good too’

You : ‘this is the first time the onesie finally fit her’

You : ‘but i have her jammies and her diaper all laid out for you on her dresser, she can wear that for bed tonight’

You’ve barely had the chance to shoot Rosie a glance that says ‘your godmom’s losing her marbles’ before the phone still in your hand starts to ring

“Uh, hello?”

“What day is it today?!” Your friend asks animatedly over the line

“It’s Friday…? Aren’t you on your way here already? Simon’s meant to be here soon.”

“You’re kidding me.” You hear her whisper to herself before she’s groaning in apparent defeat. “Oh my gosh girl, I- I’m so sorry, I could’ve sworn we were Thursday today! I’m literally in my parents kitchen across town right now. I am so sorry, I- I could leave now and try to make it-”

“Oh, no that’s okay. I know you don’t see them that often anymore, it’s okay. I’ll explain to Simon and we’ll reschedule or something.”

“Are you sure? I feel so bad. You were so excited for this date.” She says, and you know she means it. You don’t want to make her feel any worse than she probably already does, though you can’t deny that you’re disappointed, you were really looking forward to tonight

“Mhmm, I’m positive. You enjoy dinner with your parents, tell them I say hey.”

“Alright, only if you’re sure. But let me know if he wants to just push the date to tomorrow, I promise I’ll be there!”

“I’ll let you know. Bye.” You say before quickly hanging up, tossing your phone onto your bed along with a frustrated sigh. “Oh Rosie, what are we gonna do now?”

Rosie offers up her solution in the form of coos and whines aimed your way, her volume increasing with every second she deems a second too long not being held

You’ve just scooped her up into your arms when you hear a steady knock at the front door, your heart skipping a beat for a moment knowing that he’s here early, that maybe he’s been just as excited for tonight as you’ve been and that he couldn’t wait a moment longer to see you, but then your shoulders can’t help but to sag slightly, knowing that you’ve got to break the news to him

Making your way across the small flat, you cradle Rosie in one arm as you lean against the door, peering into the peephole just to be sure, when the sight on the other side forces you to clamp your mouth shut, god forbid you actually let out the ‘holy shit’ your brain is thinking right now

It’s Simon stood out there, that’s for certain

But you’ve never seen the man look so fucking good before

You’ve grown used to seeing him in his work attire, his dirty, sweaty t-shirts, old jeans caked in paint and plaster, plaid button ups so used and abused they’re practically see-through, hell he was even wearing the stereotypical white wife beater when you first met him across the fence, his defined biceps on full display that day (not that you were complaining), along with his muddy boots, you’ve only ever seen Simon wearing a hard working man’s clothes

Now however?

Well, he obviously must have been planning on taking you somewhere fancier than you expected tonight, seeing as the man is wearing proper dress shoes, dark slacks that hug his enormous thighs just right, and a goddamn button-up shirt that accentuates just how wide his shoulders are, how huge he is to begin with, a man who has very evidently worked hard for years upon years and has the build to show for it

Wanting to lay your eyes on the real thing, you try your best not to look too excited when you all but rip the door open for him

“Hi Simon.” You murmur to him as you lean against the doorway, glancing down at Rosie with a smile as she coos at him too, readjusting your hold on her so that she can see him better. “You- you look really nice tonight.”

You can’t help the way your cheeks heat up getting the full picture now rather than distorted through the lens of a peep hole, god how can someone actually be so tall? You can’t help but lean closer towards him when you catch a whiff of what you think is an enticing cologne or aftershave, your eyes taking in his clean shaven appearance, scars standing out more prominently without the stubble only adding to his already rugged charm

You see his own eyes go wide, gaze scanning you from top to bottom more than once, his lips falling open ever so slightly as he stands there, taking in the sight before him

“Simon?” You ask with a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips when he still hasn’t said anything after a moment, laughing softly when your words seem to snap him out a daydream, his eyes focusing more intently on your own now

“Sorry. I jus’-” He begins before clearing his throat, taking half a step closer to you as he speaks. “You’re so beautiful. Caught me off guard for a beat there.”

Your first instinct is to believe he’s exaggerating, just pulling your leg, because sure your makeup might be more done up than usual, and your hair styled a little nicer than it’s been recently, but you’re still just clad in simple lounge wear, never having had a chance to change properly before your friend called and you didn’t have a reason to dress up anymore

But looking at him now, seeing the way he’s looking at you, you can’t find a trace of insincerity in his gaze, can’t pinpoint any reason why he would be anything but sincere with you, the blush on your cheeks only deepening as you decide he means what he says

“Yeah well, you clean up pretty nicely yourself.” You mumble to him, pleased at the small smile he offers in return. “Though, this wasn’t what I’d been hoping on wearing tonight, obviously.”

“I think you’re perfect.” He answers instantly, tacking your name onto the end. “But there’s no rush, if ye wanted a minute to change? I can hold her, if y’need.”

“No, actually I- I’ve got some bad news.” You add solemnly, absentmindedly shuffling your feet, a nervous tic from your younger years that you never grew out of

“Y’alrigh’?” Simon asks, taking the last few steps closer until you’re within reaching distance, his hand coming up to land on your arm out of pure instinct, though he seems to catch himself at the last second as his palm hovers just above your skin

“Yeah, no, everything’s fine. It’s just that the sitter can’t make it tonight. She got the dates confused, thought I’d asked her for tomorrow.” You regretfully explain to him, unable to meet his eyes, as though this were somehow your fault, rather than a simple mixup that had you feeling just as disappointed. “I’m sorry Simon, I’d really been looking forward to-”

“D’you wanna bring her?”

“W-what?” You ask, momentarily befuddled by the question, unable to understand what he means

“D’you wanna bring Rosie wit’ us? Is tha’ alrigh’? Or if she’s still too little to go out we can stay ‘ere, order takeaway. Or I could cook for ye. Though the takeaway migh’ be less likely to come back and haunt ye tomorrow.” He replies casually, as though the answer were always so evident, the solution truly that simple, a problem easily solved at a moment’s notice

“I- she- wait, are you serious?” You question, only slightly bewildered by how nonchalant he is with the change of plans. “You- you don’t mind? You’d really be alright just staying in tonight?”

“‘Course.”

“But you- I mean you obviously had something nice planned for tonight- just look at you! I don’t want to ruin-”

“You’re not ruining a damn thing, love.” He cuts off your rambling, his heavy palm now landing on your shoulder with confidence. “Wearin’ my nice civvies, fancy food, s’all jus’ to impress ya. I don’ need none o’ it. Just want to spend time with ye, right ‘ere or anywhere else. Alrigh’?”

You can only bring yourself to nod in agreement with him, fearing that words might fail you if you dared to open your mouth now, a flood of emotions threatening to rise to the surface if you spend too long taking in what Simon’s just said

“Why don’t we go in then, and you start thinkin’ ‘bout where you wanna order from.”

Before you can even realize it, nearly two hours have trickled away, the brilliant hues of pink and orange and yellow shining against your windows as the sun sets cast a warm reflection throughout your flat, a sight that can only pale in comparison to the glow that’s emanating from inside

Because that really is how you’re feeling isn’t it?

As you and Simon lounge together on your couch with full bellies, contrasted by the empty takeaway containers and utensils scattered across the coffee table, some radio station or another softly playing music in the background, you feel as though the only way to describe this feeling growing in your chest is glowing, you feel like you’re glowing when Simon’s around

And based of the way he’s sunken comfortably into the cushions of the couch, an arm resting casually across the back with careful fingertips caressing your shoulder every so often, any and all traces of stress and work and life outside this bubble you’re caught up in have lifted off his shoulders, leaving him looking lighter than you’ve seen before, you’re inclined to assume he’s just as content as you are in this moment

“Hmm, dunno ‘bout that.”

“No, I swear to you, Simon! You’ll see, next time we’ll have to go in person, or we’ll just order dessert first.” You insist through your laughter, watching as he shakes his head in playful disbelief. The food you’d ordered was delicious, but as good as your dinner had been, you told him that it was really their sweets that had you coming back for more

“Well, if ye swear, s’pose I’m inclined to believe ye.” He teases with a knowing look in his eyes, ghost of a smirk painted across his lips. “Next time then.”

“Next time.” You agree easily,

“Like the sound o’ that. Next time.”

“Me too. That is, assuming you’d want to do this again, of course. Maybe a proper date?”

“This is a proper date, love. S’like I said, just like spendin’ time with ye. Look, we’ve even got a chaperone an’ everythin’. Proper date in my books.” Simon jokes, jutting his chin towards Rosie in your arms, her chubby little fists tugging at your shirt relentlessly

“Oh yeah, real proper.” You laugh, readjusting your hold on her, smoothing a hand down her back. “Speaking of which, I probably should try to lay her down soon.”

You’ve managed to avoid putting her to bed for as long as you could, the three of you hanging out contently together, bouncing her between your arms and her swing, but you also know your baby, and you don’t want to keep her up any longer, disrupt her routine any more. You weren’t expecting to juggle both Rosie and your fist date with Simon simultaneously, and while she’d been an angel for you two tonight, you knew better than to push your luck

“Ah right. Needs her shuteye, that one. I can head out, if ye’d like.” He offers, almost as though he doesn’t necessarily agree with the words he’s speaking, doesn’t want the night to end yet, but knows that they need to be said nonetheless

“No! I mean- it shouldn’t take me too long to get her down, I can tell she’s already pretty sleepy. If you don’t mind waiting, we could watch a movie together, or just keep talking. I- I’d really like you to stay, if you want to.” You extend the invitation to him, putting the ball in his court now

The idea of parting ways already leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, knowing how incredibly busy with work he is to the point that he told he he’d been working straight through the weekend to get this newest nursery finished, and because of that you’re left unsure when he’ll be able to see you next, your own days dragging longer as you’re left only with Rosie to occupy your hours, in addition to the very man who occupied your thoughts

“I’d like that. I’ll stay.” He answers simply, though his eyes tell you much more than his words ever could, the relief clear in his features

“Great.” You say with a genuine smile. “I might just run to the washroom quickly, before I put her down. Are- are you okay if I just- leave her here with you for a bit? It should only take me a secon-”

“You’re fine love. We’re fine. You go ‘head. We’ll be right here waitin’ for ye.” He tells you, gesturing down the hall towards your bathroom.

You can’t help but to search his face quickly for any chance he might change his mind, but Rosie’s safe in her swing, her whines and grumbles at a minimum for the time being, and so you nod to him before standing and turning the corner

But of course, your girl’s got some sort of sixth sense for knowing when her mum’s left the room, her cries reaching your ears through the closed bathroom door

You try to be a quick as you can, though at least a minute or two has passed by the time you’re jogging back towards the living room, apology already on the tip of your tongue for having left Simon with her, how you should’ve known she’d get upset, but the words die in your mouth as you spot the scene playing out on the couch

Still sat comfortably on your couch, Simon appears as though he hasn’t moved from his spot at all, which you’d be inclined to believe, were it not for the tiny bundle laying across his chest, his large hand rubbing small circles against your baby’s back

Her whines are already quieting down before you can process it, her coos softening the more Simon shushes her, soothes her, speaks to her in that low timbre of his, as if this were second nature to him, something he’d done a thousand times before and had mastered the art of

“Shh, you’re alright now. Your mum’s comin’ back, Rosie. No need for tears.” You hear him tell her as you step closer to the pair

“She- is she okay?” You ask, coming to sit back own next to him, your own hand instinctively coming to caress the back of her head, soft little wisps of hair tickling beneath your fingertips

“Tired. Like ye said.” He replies, his movements never faltering as he comforts your baby as if she were his own flesh and blood. “Think she’s almost out.”

And surprise surprise, he’s right

Rosie’s fighting to keep her heavy eyelids open, mouth parted in the tiniest little ‘o’ as she tries in vain to continue her protests, but in the end she can’t hold out any longer, and drifts off on Simon’s chest, fitting against him like a perfect puzzle piece, appearing all the smaller compared to his large size

“I can’t believe that just happened.” You whisper in awe, eyes locked on the sight of your baby safe and sleeping in the arms of a well-dressed Simon, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his muscular forearms, a vision that leaves you feeling warm all over

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked before just pickin’ her up like tha’, you didn’t-” He begins to say, posture stiffening as though he’s about to stand

“Oh my gosh, Simon! Don’t even try to apologize right now. This is like, just about the hottest thing I’ve witnessed all year.” You reassure him instantly, relieved by how he softens up at your words, leaning back into the cushions once more, small chuckles being shared between the two of you. “Wasn’t expecting her to kick up a fuss so quick, and certainly never expected you to jump in and comfort her but, thank you, Simon. Really. I figured she was going to put up a fuss with the sitter tonight, she’s never had anyone but me put her to sleep before. But look at her.”

You both gaze at the sleepy little lump cuddled cozily into his dress shirt without a care in the world, her breaths coming out in soft, even little huffs

“Think she knows I’m trying to earn brownie points wit’ her mum. Helpin’ me out.” He teases his own hand coming lay atop your own, still cradling her back of Rosie’s head

“Already promised you dessert next time, didn’t I?” You say softly, returning his own cheeky smirk with a grin of your own

You hardly even recognize the way your head starts absentmindedly shaking in a mix of disbelief and awe, unable to fully believe the situation you’ve found yourself in, sitting on the very same couch you used to crash on after late nights out with friends, the same couch you’d bawled your eyes out on for hours after discovering you were pregnant, the same couch you’d fallen asleep on after one too many sleepless nights caring for a newborn by yourself, the same couch cushions you’d been digging through for loose change as money got tight

It’s the same couch that Simon Riley is sitting on now, as he holds your sleeping baby, as he looks at you as if there’s nowhere else he’d rather be right now even if this wasn’t the original plan for tonight, as he makes your heart beat faster than you’ve ever felt possible, as he challenges every notion and preconception and idea you’d built for yourself since becoming a single mum

Part of you wants to scream ‘How are you real?!’ just to see if the echo of your voice will ripple across the mirage he might have been all along, will reveal the smoke and mirrors and shed the spotlight on a stage that’s been empty this whole time

But you’re growing tired of holding up the weight of the walls you’ve had to build around yourself, you’re growing sick of making up excuses that never benefited you in the first place, you or Rosie, because a world kept at arms length might in theory be a safer one, but it’s undoubtedly a lonelier one, and while your new role as a mum means having to prioritize someone else’s well being before your own, having to take on the problems for two, you glance at Simon now and know for certain:

You’re not worried

He’s worried

It’s been too long now, almost a full week that he hasn’t heard from you

Not a text, not a call, not a goddamn carrier pigeon, nothing

He hates to admit it, loathes to acknowledge it as the truth, but he’s been so busy with work that he hadn’t even noticed the radio silence on your end until more than three days had passed

He’s been working practically inhumane hours as of late, fulfilling his guarantee to have the site finished and ready to open in exchange for a nursery spot for Rosie, and the work’s had him feeling more exhausted than he has in a long time, though the mental stress could never hold a flame to that of his time in the SAS, the physical toll is nearly comparable, especially considering his body getting any younger

Simon had been arriving at the construction site two or three hours before anyone else was scheduled, before the damn sun was even thinking of cresting the horizon, leaving him relying on an absurd number of floodlights to help get the work done

Not to mention that he wasn’t just the last man to leave the job every single time, Simon only allowed himself to head home when his body literally could not take any more for the day, the streetlights having turned on ages ago telling him to clock out

Arriving home and immediately collapsing into bed had been the routine each night, sleeps so short and restless that his brain never had the chance to conjure up a dream, not until that third night, when he finally slept well enough to dream of you

After all, he had left your flat that night last week feeling as if he was still waiting to wake up from a dream, to find out that was all just a figment of his imagination, in fact too good to be true

After having carefully transferred Rosie into her crib, the two of you had stayed up much too late into the night talking to one another, laughing together, and ultimately, as he’d been hoping he would have the chance to do again, kissing

He remembers how comfortable you were sat next to one another on the couch, how the more you spoke the more the space between your bodies slowly dwindled until he could no longer handle the look in your eyes, the one he knew had to have been reflected on his own face, and he’d taken the leap and reached for you, slotting his lips against your with a hesitancy that was quickly thrown out the window as he heard the deep hum of satisfaction reverberating through your chest into his

He remembers how soft you were, your skin, your hair, your lips, everything about you felt like something too precious for his sullied hands to touch, something too priceless for him to be stealing for himself, but your solid grip on his biceps gave him no room to question whether this was something you wanted as well, something you wanted just as badly as he did

It could have been five minutes, it could have been five hours, all Simon knew was that he was drowning in you and he never wanted to resurface again

Each little gasp you had let out as his strong hands gripped and squeezed your curves had his head spinning, every whimper and moan you didn’t mean to let slip had his own tether on the situation beginning to weaken, each press of your lips against his proved to be a test of his resolve, his willingness to do this right, to take things slow

But fuck, if you weren’t the most delectable thing he’d ever come across… your milk swollen tits pressed up against his firm chest, your soft thighs beneath his fingertips, your bodies arching into one another as though they already knew each other, had danced this dance before

Simon would have died a happy man that night, more than content with having you as his cause of death, a death certificate he could be proud of, but of course, he was only one of the two people in your flat that was vying for your precious attention

Rosie awaking from her sleep and demanding to be fed was the only indication that time was still ticking by, that your make out session had not in fact stopped time as your hearts may have otherwise had you believe

You’d walked him to the door, kissed him goodnight again just for good measure, promising to talk soon and plan another date, one where he might actually be able to take you out

But now, Simon’s left to grapple with the fact that you haven’t called him since, haven’t texted him, haven’t reached out once

He feels like a fish out of water

He’d never done this before, had never had something like this in his life before, something worth holding on to, and now he was left wondering what he was meant to do

Was this his fault? Had he been meant to call you first? Was that some unspoken understanding that he’d never gotten the memo for? Were you waiting for him to reach out first?

When his first text goes out to you the following morning, a simple message checking in on how you and Rosie are doing, he spends his entire work day eager to finish up so that he can check for your response

What he isn’t expecting however, is for his message to go unseen

Left puzzled, more than a tad confused, he decides to call you, wanting to hear your voice, to make sure everything is okay

When the call goes unanswered, your standard voicemail tone being the only thing to come through the phone, Simon has to fight against the familiar voices in his head telling him to jump to the worst case scenario, to anticipate the worst, and instead decides he’s not going to allow another day to go to waste

He’s pulling up in front of your flat and taking the stairs two at a time before he has the chance to talk himself out of it, to imaging reasons A through to Z as to why this may not be a good idea, why you might be ignoring him

Knocking on your door, Simon is steeling himself for whatever scenario he might be about to face, though what he comes face to face winds up being a situation his mind had not jumped to, a much more plausible explanation he hadn’t fathomed in all of his pessimistic worrying

It’s evident from the moment that you manage to crack the door open for him, that that alone took up more energy than you had to spare, the prominent bags under your eyes darker than ever before, the sweat seeping across your brow and upper lip contrasted by the way your body shivers involuntarily

“Love,” he says as softly as he can, though his tone is reminiscent to that of a young child being lovingly scolded, his brow furrowing in concern. “Should’ve told me you were sick.”

“D-didn’t want you t-to see me l-like t-this.” You barely manage to croak out, trying to correct the blanket that’s slipping off of your shoulders, though you barely have the strength to lift your arm and tug it back in place

“How long have you been ill?” He immediately asks, shutting the door behind him and leading you through your flat with a gentle hand between your shoulder blades, feeling the heat radiating off of you even through all your layers

“I- I don’t know. Few d- days?” You reply, glancing sideways at him as though you’re only now realizing that he’s here. “H-how - what are you d-doing here?”

“Haven’t heard from you, didn’t answer your phone. Had me worried, and apparently rightfully so.” He tells you, head on a swivel as he looks for your tiny roommate. “Where’s Rosie?”

“In her c-crib.”

“She sick as well?”

“N-no. Somehow sh-she’s been o-okay. I just- I feel awful, Simon.” You admit, frustrated tears beginning to pool in your eyes, fat drops sliding down your heated cheeks as you blink through them

“You’ve got to be runnin’ a fever, love. You’re not well.” He says with a hand pressed against your forehead, doing his best to school his features despite his displeasure with how warm you feel, your skin borderline burning up beneath his palm. “Let me help you.”

“S-Simon, I-”

“Please.” He iterates before you can even attempt to turn him down, the words quickly dying on your tongue, not a single ounce of energy left to spare for you to fight him on this. “Can we get you to bed?”

Nodding, you allow him to help lead you towards the door he can only presume hides your bedroom, pushing all other thoughts aside as he sees your intimate space for the first time

You hardly have the energy to climb into bed, allowing Simon to stack the pillows behind your head and to cover you with the blankets, exhaustion evident in every move you make, the kind of bone-deep tiredness that has him wondering as to how you’ve been able to manage these last few days by yourself, let alone caring for Rosie on top of everything

“You jus’ lay here, alrigh’? Let me handle things.” He instructs, smoothing the sheets over your legs, brushing your hair out of your eyes, fussing over you like he imagines his mother might have done for him decades and decades ago when he was too young to remember. “When was the last time you ate?”

“Uh- I um- I don’t- I don’t know.” You admit, closing your eyes as you lean back into the comfort of the pillows supporting you, the only thing keeping you upright at the moment

“Stay here, I’ll get things sorted.”

He knows you really can’t be feeling like yourself, based on how you put up no effort in telling him otherwise, hardly even acknowledging his words apart from the slightest nod of your head, your mind evidently in a fog that he’s worried has lingered too long already

Stepping out of your room, Simon peeks into Rosie’s nursery, if only to reassure his own wandering mind that she really is alright, his heartbeat calming down in the slightest when he spots her in the cot, her chest rising and falling in even, steady breaths, nothing appearing out of the ordinary as compared to her sick mum on the other side of the wall

Satisfied that Rosie is settled for the time being, he busies himself in your kitchen with preparing you something to eat, going back to the basics when he heats up some soup he managed to find in the cupboards, trying his best to straighten up the flat while your meal warms up on the stove, throwing wadded up tissues into the waste bin and tossing crumpled clothes into your washer

You appear as though you’re on the verge of sleep, if not already counting sheep, when Simon returns to you with a warm meal, a cold glass of water, and a generous amount of ibuprofen

You hardly protest when he starts feeding you the soup himself, barely blink when he drops the meds in your palm and instructs you to swallow them, only perking up when you overhear Rosie begin to grumble from across the hall

“I’ve got her.” Simon quickly reassures you before you try to move. “I’ll bring her, just wait here love.”

Despite having held her less than a week prior, Simon still can’t believe just how small she is, a true baby bird, how minuscule she feels in his hands, how light she is in his arms, how light she makes him feel when she tries to snuggle her way farther into his chest, as though she and her mum weren’t already burrowing their way directly into his heart already

Stepping back into your room, he watches the relief roll over you as your tired eyes lock on your baby, arms instinctively reaching for her as Simon transfers her over to you

“Oh Rosie g-girl, I know. I know.” You coo to her, sniffling in spite of the brave face you’re clearly trying to put on. “Thank you, Simon.”

“I should’ve come by sooner. Should’ve known.” He says, sitting next to you at the edge of your bed, arm coming up to help you hold Rosie steady should you need it. He’s beating himself up over this, in spite of all logic indicating he had no way of knowing you were feeling poorly, he still feels like he should have been here, should have been helping you sooner

“Y-you didn’t know. I didn’t s-say anything. S’my fault.” You mumble, rocking Rosie against your chest, leaning your cheek against the crown of her head. “I hate f-feeling like this. Feel like I’m useless to my own b-baby, feel like a bad mum, f-feel like a bad girlfriend f-for not talking to y-you, feel li-”

“Shh, none o’ that now.” He shushes your worries, leaning over to press a kiss to your temple, eyes closing as he lingers against you for a moment, begging the relentless beating of his heart to calm down before you’re able to literally hear it banging against his rib cage, itching to be freed and put directly into the palm of your hands where it belongs

He knows you likely didn’t mean to say it, didn’t realize you’d let the word slip, your fever and exhaustion taking precedent over your usually clever mind, but he certainly heard it

Girlfriend

He feels like a damn school boy, blushing the way he is at the prospect of you calling yourself his girlfriend, a term that feels too juvenile, too mundane for what’s been growing between the two of you

He brushes your worries aside, casts your discomfort out the window, taking your dishes to the kitchen if only to allow you a moment of privacy to feed Rosie, promising to return momentarily, though he doesn’t mind taking the time he needs for his cheeks to return to their normal shade, his body betraying the way your words affect him

He knows you likely won’t remember having said so come morning, though he’s hoping you’ll wake up faring better than you are now, that your slip of the tongue was truly nothing more than an honest revelation in your hazy state, an unintentional peek into the thoughts that have been swirling in your mind as of late, perhaps even an unspoken wish accidentally said aloud

But Simon? Well, he’s got no intention of keeping you waiting

If you’re wishing to be his, he’ll have to let you know soon enough that that’s fine by him, seeing as he’s been yours from the very start

Next chapter

Thank y’all so much for the patience with part five being uploaded, in true tumble fashion my first draft of this chapter got deleted right as I was preparing to upload it, and so this was my second time writing this out, tried my best to capture as much of the original draft as I could remember, so I’m really hoping it doesn’t come across as crazy as my brain feels right now

Appreciate all the suggestions people had for where to save drafts from now on, as well as the love you guys always seem to have an abundance of when it comes to my writing. Really does mean a lot

Anyways, really excited for the next few chapters as things are going to start getting messy, someone’s lies might start catching up to him, who knows

- M 🫶🏻

Tag list: @dawnnightshade666 @topaz125 @ilovetaquitosmmmm @th3on3and0nly1r1s @sirbonesly @biscgutz @cmbghost @glossy01 @slowlyshycomputer @barcelonaaababe @astrxsee @sweetpeakarolinaaa @aqua-nina @wizzdot @beautifuleaglealpaca @peachy-satan00 @drewsuncrustables @pato-spoiler-27 @lem-hhn @dravenskye @juullllssss @mxsatorisimp @merkitty49 @monssan99-blog @notkyleelol @tessakate @sahvlren @danika1994 @viennakarma @pastel-devil-06 @asoulsreverie @puppydollgstar @strawberrygato @heletsmelovehim @404creep @just-lilita @desiretolive @marigold-morelli @robinfeldt98 @sleep101 @scaleniusrm @wh0reforstars @beebeechaos @lulutheoverthinker @casterblue @amans-puer @mestrecadumaverick @loud-mouph @t3a-bag @enfppuff @kneelforloki

[robbysreaders]

pairing: jack abbot x f!reader  word count: 2k notes: Part 2 of ex!reader and babydaddy!jack (part 1 here)

It’s a Thursday night, and the hospital is slammed. Jack moves with purpose, flipping through a chart as he tugs off his gloves.

“I shouldn’t have planned this on a work night,” he mutters under his breath.

“Ooooh,” Dana croons behind him. “What are you planning?”

“None of your damn business,” he replies, glancing at the clock. “But I’m running late.”

Robby rounds the corner, already grinning. “Jack, get the hell out of here. I’m not getting blamed for you being late.”

Dana’s eyes narrow. “Wait. Robby knows?”

“He’s got a hot date with his baby mama,” Robby sings.

Dana’s eyebrows shoot up. “That’s a new development.”

Jack points a finger at her. “That judgy tone is exactly why I don’t tell you anything.”

He makes it home, showers, changes. Somehow gets to your place in record time.

You expected him to be late — habit. But something about how hard he’s clearly tried… reminds you. He wants to get it right this time.

You open the door.

He’s standing there in a dark button-down and jeans, a single tulip in hand. His hair’s still damp. He gives you the full once-over — slow, reverent — before trying to mask it with a crooked smile.

“Wow,” he murmurs. “You look… unfair.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You gonna stand there all night, or let me lock the door?”

He thrusts the tulip forward like he just remembered it. “For you. I, uh, have the rest at home… if you want them later.”

You smile, tuck the tulip into your bag, and follow him out.

The restaurant is all string lights and exposed brick — cozy, familiar. The waiter asks what kind of day you’ve had before recommending wine.

Jack orders after confirming your favorites — quiet, subtle. But he remembers.

“You nervous?” you ask, swirling your glass.

“A little,” he admits. “Feels like a first date. But also not. Feels like something we should’ve done a long time ago.”

“You mean back when we were living on boxed mac and cheese and resenting each other’s dishes in the sink?”

He chuckles. “Definitely not then.”

You watch him. Still Jack — dry, steady — but there’s something new softening him. Less guarded. More here.

Midway through dinner, you’re laughing about Beau’s vacuum obsession (“the Dyson phase,” Jack calls it), when he goes quiet.

“You know what I keep thinking about?” he says, thumb circling his glass.

“What?”

“That night before we split. You were packing for your parents’ place and I kept coming into the room for no reason. You finally said, ‘Jack, just say what you want to say.’”

You nod. You remember.

“I didn’t say it then. But I will now. I wanted you to stay. I just didn’t know how to ask without sounding selfish.”

Your heart tugs. You reach across the table, cover his hand. “You’ve gotten better at asking.”

He squeezes back. “Still learning.”

After dinner, you don’t go home right away. You wander the neighborhood, eventually winding up at the small park you take Beau to. The bench under the tree. The same bench where, once upon a time, everything started.

You pause. “Jack Abbot. We are not where I think we are, are we?”

He shrugs, smirk tugging at his lips. “Thought I’d ease you back in. Familiar territory.”

You lean in first this time. The kiss is slow, deep, and familiar — but not stuck in the past. There's something new now. Steady. Chosen.

He pulls back, breathless. “You still do that thing with your tongue. Drives me insane.”

You grin. “I know.”

Silence settles, warm and buzzing. Like the world has narrowed down to just the two of you.

“So,” Jack says. “How do we feel about another date?”

“That depends.”

“On?”

“Whether I get to make out with you after the next one too.”

He leans in, barely an inch from your mouth. “Oh, I think we can arrange that.”

You laugh — real and bubbling. Something you haven’t heard from yourself in a long time.

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “I missed this.”

You nod. “Me too.”

But after a beat, something shifts. You glance down. “Why now?”

He tilts his head. “What do you mean?”

“Part of me still wonders why it took this long.”

Jack pauses. Not defensive. Just thoughtful.

“Because I didn’t trust myself. With you. With the whole thing. I didn’t think I could want something this badly and not wreck it. I had to be sure I could be better — for you, for Beau. For me.”

You exhale. “I didn’t need perfect.”

“I know that now,” he says softly. “But I had to unlearn a lot of things I didn’t even know I was carrying.”

You glance back up. “I’m still scared.”

Jack threads his fingers through yours. “Me too.”

“What if we hurt each other again?”

“We will,” he says. “But I’m not walking away this time just because something feels heavy. And I’m not letting you carry it alone.”

He walks you home, hands laced. At your door, he lingers.

“I’m not coming in,” he says, voice rough. “But I want to.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want to do this right. Not fast. Not because I can’t stand being apart — though I can’t — but because I want it to last.”

You kiss him — soft, slow, steady.

When you pull back, you whisper, “Okay. Go home.”

He nods. “Second date?”

“Next week.”

He kisses your knuckles, walks away. Turns back at the end of the block to wave like it’s something he’s allowed to do again.

And for the first time in years, you lock the door feeling full — not with ache, not with hope. Just full.

–

A few days later, the call from school comes mid-meeting.

Beau’s sick. Fever. Glassy-eyed. Curled up in the nurse’s office with his backpack clutched to his chest.

You’re already halfway to your car when you text Jack:

you: just got a call from school. beau’s sick. i’m going to get him now. jack: shit. can i call you in 5? you: kinda swamped but yeah.

He calls in three.

“Hey,” he says, already out of breath. You can hear the hum of the hospital behind him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just scrambling. I’ve got back-to-back meetings and now—”

“I’ll handle it,” he cuts in. “I can be at your place in an hour. I’ll rearrange some stuff.”

“You’re on days now—are you sure?”

“It’s fine,” he says, too quickly. “I got it.”

You pause. Something in his voice makes your stomach twist. But you let him go.

An hour and a half later, Beau’s napping on the couch under two blankets. You’re at the kitchen table, trying to focus on your laptop. He’s flushed, quiet, lightly snoring.

Jack knocks once, then pushes the door open. Still in scrubs. He sets a pharmacy bag on the counter.

“Tylenol, apple juice, saltines.”

“Thanks,” you say softly.

He nods, drops into the chair across from you, scrubbing a hand through his hair. He looks tense. Coiled. Like he hasn’t really stopped moving.

“I didn’t think they’d let you leave,” you say.

“I told them it was an emergency. Robby gets it. I owe him now.”

“Jack—”

“It was an emergency,” he snaps. “He’s my kid.”

“I know. But you didn’t have to blow up your whole day to prove that.”

He exhales hard, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m trying to show up. That’s what you said you needed. That’s what I said I’d do.”

You pause. “I don’t need you to self-destruct to prove you care. That’s not showing up — that’s burning out.”

His jaw clenches. Then something in him falters. Just slightly.

“I panicked,” he admits. “I heard ‘sick’ and I thought—”

He doesn’t finish the sentence. Just shakes his head.

You reach across the table and take his hand. “I did too.”

A few hours later and things seem stable. Beau’s fever is stubborn but manageable, hovering near 101. You’re rotating fluids, letting him nap between cartoons. Jack’s perched at the edge of the couch, monitoring him like he’s waiting for a second shoe to drop.

“Mind hanging around?” you ask. “I’ve got one last call and then I can take over.”

“Don’t mind at all,” he murmurs. “We can combine forces. Date night with our sick kid — romance is alive and well.”

It’s just past 8 p.m. when things go sideways.

Beau stirs on the couch, body twitching, limbs stiffening in an unnatural rhythm.

“Shit—make sure he doesn’t fall.”

“Jack,” you say, panic rising, “what’s happening?”

“Febrile seizure,” he says, already shifting to the floor beside Beau, bracing his body as a barrier. “He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay.”

It lasts less than thirty seconds. It feels like a lifetime.

As soon as it passes, Jack scoops him up.

“We’re driving. Faster than an ambulance.”

You’re in the back seat, one hand on Beau’s knee, the other gripping the car door.

“Jack, I’m scared. Is he going to be okay?”

Beau’s voice is faint. “Mommy, I don’t feel good.”

“It’s okay, baby,” you whisper. “We’re going to see Daddy’s doctor friends.”

Jack’s on the phone with Shen.

“Headed in now. Just had a febrile seizure. He’s alert but out of it. Temp was 101.3 about 20 minutes ago. Not responding to acetaminophen. Gave 7.5 mL six hours ago, again an hour ago. Pulse ox was 97. Resps were 32 last time I checked. ETA four minutes.”

“Mommy, I’m tired.”

“Keep him awake.”

“I’m trying.” You cup his face. “Hey baby, should we sing your song?”

You’re halfway through the third round of You’ve Got a Friend in Me when the hospital comes into view.

Shen and a nurse are waiting at the curb. They get Beau on a gurney, Jack walking alongside, rattling off the last twelve hours like a script he’s memorized.

“Hey buddy,” Shen says gently. “Heard you’re not feeling too great. We’re gonna run some tests, get you patched up. Sound okay?”

“‘kay,” Beau croaks. “Am I gonna miss my baseball game?”

Jack smiles, brushing hair off his forehead. “Probably. But when you’re better, we’ll go to a Pirates game. Deal?”

“Deal.”

You’re standing in the corner of the exam room, arms wrapped tight around yourself, blinking hard against the overhead lights.

Jack joins you. Wraps an arm around your shoulder. Pulls you in. And that’s when you finally break.

“Shhh,” he whispers, stroking your back. “He’s okay. We’re okay.”

“Thank you,” you murmur. “I couldn’t have done this alone. I froze. I failed.”

“You didn’t fail. You leaned on me.” His voice is low, steady. “We’re a team.”

The tests come back clean. No complications. The fever finally breaks.

By the time you’re discharged, Beau’s asleep in your arms.

Jack stops at the central desk to grab papers. Shen pats him on the shoulder.

“Sorry if I overreacted,” Jack says, dragging a hand down his face. “I didn’t know how different it’d feel when it’s your own kid. He’s just so little.”

“You did the right thing,” Shen says. “Go get your family home. Get some rest.”

–

Jack parks in your driveway. The engine clicks off. You’re still half-listening to Beau’s sleepy breathing in the back seat when Jack says, quiet:

“Can I stay over?” You glance at him. “Just to make sure he’s okay tonight.”

You nod. “Of course.”

Back inside, you toe off your shoes, lay Beau gently in the center of your bed. He curls instinctively toward your pillow.

You’re brushing your teeth when Jack appears in the doorway holding two glasses of water.

“Here,” he says. “Uh… where would I find extra bedding? I’ll set up the couch.”

You look at him. Tired. Beautiful. Still trying.

“Don’t be weird,” you say softly. “Bed’s always been big enough for the three of us.”

He smiles. Follows you into the room without another word and for the second time this week, you fall asleep feeling full. But this time, you feel a little less afraid.

[elstattoo]

Cold & Wet

MDNI, MEN DNI

Summary: You go to a lesbian bar with Ellie and find out she has more than a few surprises up her sleeve.

WC: 4.3k

Content: 18+, car sex, fingering(r receiving), head (r receiving), praise,

Author’s Note: Finally finished this!!! I need more Ellie Williams… if possible 🙏

Normally, you weren’t the type to get love-struck, but Ellie Williams had that effect. Her presence alone stole your breath away. Both anticipation and warmth coursed through you, an unfamiliar mix of emotions for you.

Dina was the one who introduced you and Ellie, that night at the party, and you had no idea how you managed to score a date with her. It was a miracle, indeed, considering how popular Ellie was with girls.

You recalled that night vividly, the way she gulped down her drink, her tongue darting out to lick the remaining drops from her lips. Her eyes met yours, as she mumbled, “Hey… do you want to… I don’t know… hangout sometime?

There was a hint of nervousness in her voice, and a blush was visibly on her cheeks. It was quite endearing how she seemed uncertain as if you would say no to her.

A grin spread across your lips, “Yeah! That sounds.. really nice, Ellie.” You tried to sound as casual as possible, but you knew you failed miserably. The excitement was obvious on your face.

Seeing Ellie, private outside of the party? That would be so much more intimate. You could see the relief on her face as you accepted her invitation, and the small smile that moved across her face made your heart flutter.

“It’s a date then,” Ellie muttered. Your heartbeat sped up, it felt like it was trying to escape your rib cage from how fast it was beating.

Your eyes met, and you shared a silent moment of understanding and connection. You couldn't help but bite your lip as you stared at her, trying to contain your excitement.

You nodded to her words, your voice coming out slightly shaky as you spoke. "I'm looking forward to it," you admitted. There was no hiding the eagerness in your voice, and you knew that she could see right through you.

So, you find yourself a few nights later, staring at yourself in the mirror for what feels like the hundredth time. You could feel your heart racing as your eyes gazed over your appearance. You look amazing, but the anticipation of this date was gnawing on you, and your hands felt warm and clammy.

This is all you thought about all week and you didn’t want to ruin it, so you took a deep breath. But, it was not used because it felt as if your stomach was twisting into knots.

A sudden ding from your phone brought you out of your thoughts, you saw notifications flash across your screen from none other than Ellie.

Ellie: i’m here

Ellie: where are you? 🙂‍↕️

Ellie: sorry, this apartment complex of urs got me confused asf

The messages made you giggle, so then you took a moment to compose yourself by taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. Your palms were sweaty as you made your way to meet Ellie at her car. As you approached, exited your house, and made your way towards her car, she waved at you, opening the passenger side door for you.

Your heart swelled at her action, simple, yet so sweet. She gently closed the door before making her way to the driver’s side and getting in.

Ellie’s eyes landed on you, sitting in her car. “I’m really happy I get to take you out, ya know. I’ve wanted to…,” her cheeks heated up and she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, “to.. take you out for a while.” She finally admitted.

This had you breathless. Ellie Williams wanted to take you out for a while? That means, she has been attracted to you and also had wanted you, like you wanted her for way too long.

Whenever you saw Ellie in passing, you found her so attractive. Her captivating presence and aura made her all the more special, which made you want to explore whatever this was. Your heart leaps in your chest, you don’t want to jump the gun on being hopeful. But you couldn’t help it.

“Well…” you mumbled, “I’m incredibly glad you asked. I’m still shocked you did.”

Ellie’s eyes widened a bit before she chuckled. “Babe.. you really shouldn’t be shocked,” her eyes ranked over your body, taking you in before speaking again, “You’re so hot, nothin’ to worry about.”

Her boldness caught you off guard and you had to hold back a giddy smile from stretching across your face. Fuck. Does she realize the effect she has on you?

Both yours and Ellie’s eyes met quickly, before she started the car. “You’re really… attractive, Ellie. This feels like a dream,” you truly were breathtaking whispering that to her, she couldn’t believe she had you here.

To you, everything truly felt surreal for you in this moment and Ellie felt the same. Both of you were in the same wondrous boat, two lesbians who were shamelessly giddy over one another.

Ellie’s tongue quickly darted over her lips, her focus now on the road and not ogling over you. “Well, this isn’t a dream. I’m glad because I get to take your fine ass out.”

She signaled before, turning the wheel of the car onto the road. Ellie earned a giggle out of you at her words, the sound causing her eyes to side glance to you, again. She couldn’t help herself.

You thought you were dreaming? Ellie felt as though she was, hearing that sound come out of your mouth.

With one hand gripping the wheel, her right arm passed over to grip your thigh, the tattoo flexing on her forearm. She clutched the fat of your thigh. Boldness growing over her, she smirked to herself when she heard your breath hitch at the feeling.

This was the first time Ellie had ever touched you that way, and it sent you wanting more than her just touching your plush, thick thighs. You shivered the creeping thoughts away, focusing on the moment.

Your hand grazed over hers that lay on your thigh, you ran your fingers slightly over her hand. Ellie felt like fireworks exploded feeling your smaller fingers against hers.

She smiled to herself, her grip on your thigh lessening and she just laid it there. You glanced down, intertwining her now empty hand with yours.

Ellie felt the warmth of your hand around hers, her hand held yours together more closely. Feeling her tighten her hand slightly, you looked down at your interlocked hands and felt your heart tug. Your whole body felt so warm, even from just holding her hand. It was electrical.

You’ve had girlfriends, flings, and more in the past, but none of them made you feel the way Ellie had. She even had you that way just from handholding.

The rest of the ride to the bar was quiet, the radio quietly buzzing tunes while you held Ellie’s hand the rest of the way. She gave you soft squeezes now and then until the car slowed and pulled into an unfamiliar parking lot.

Outside the windshield, you read a sign that was lit up in bright pink letters ‘Saffy’s Sapphic Bar.’ You started in awe, this bar is one you’re never been to.

“Is this new?” You whispered, still gawking out the window at the big black building with gorgeous writing.

“Yeah! It’s the first lesbian bar in our area that’s not like 30 minutes away,” Ellie laughed. She, unfortunately, removed her hand from yours and turned the keys out of the ignition. “You okay with being here?”

You turned your body towards her, “Duh! It’s a lesbian bar, we’re going to have a lot of fun.

A smile tugged at the corners of Ellie's lips as she heard your words, and her eyes sparkled mischievously. "Let's get inside, babe," she suggested, her voice dripping with charm.

The affectionate nickname sent a rush of butterflies fluttering through your chest, making your heart pound furiously against your ribcage as if it were trying to break free from its confines.

The way she continued to call you endearments, and each one sent a wave of heat coursing through you, leaving you feeling both flustered and exhilarated.

You nodded in agreement, feeling a surge of affection course through your body as Ellie quickly exited the car and made her way to your side. Before you could even react, she had the passenger side door open for you and the gesture made your heart skip a beat. Once you stepped out of her car, Ellie grabbed your hand, gently lacing your fingers through hers.

Her touch sends a wave of warmth through your entire body. The simple act of holding your hand made you feel safe, cared for, and utterly more captivated by her. Your attraction somehow deepens, if possible.

Ellie felt the way you shivered for a minute and gave your hand two gentle squeezes. You squeezed back, “Thank you for taking me here, Els.”

“Of course, now let’s go,” she stepped forward and you felt your hand tugged in tow with the movement. You giggled as you felt your hand being pulled along her with every movement. As you caught up to her stride, you heard her voice, warm and soothing, as she said, “Atta, girl.”

The praise and affection in her tone, made you suddenly feel aroused. You weren’t expecting Ellie to be one to praise, especially now and here of all places. She was full of surprises.

You walked side by side to the door of the bar. Ellie opened the door, still holding your hand and she waited for you to walk in, before following in after you. She didn’t want you to sit there and have you holding her hand, uncomfortably.

As if you could be uncomfortable holding her hand…

The bar was dim, candles aligning the bar, the small dance floor had people dancing around, and there were small tables and chairs, throughout the room for people.

You took the lead, grabbing Ellie’s hand more firmly as you steered her in the direction of the bar, feeling a sudden urge to quench your nerves with a drink.

Ellie easily caught onto your intentions and laughed, “Someone’s eager to get a drink.” She let you guide her towards the bar counter.

One of the bartenders saw you approaching and smiled, “Hey ladies! What can I get started for you?”

You thought for a second before speaking, “Can I get for starters one shot of Tequila and then after a Margarita, please?”

“Of course, hun!” The bartender chirped, then looked at Ellie, “And for you?”

“I'll take a cold beer, please," Ellie muttered, her focus more on you than the bartender. It wasn't intentional, but rather a natural reaction to the way the lighting highlighted your features and made your body look even more mesmerizing. Her focus on you was completely involuntary, and she couldn't help the way her eyes kept lingering all over you.

The bartender nodded and smiled to herself before preparing yours and Ellie’s drinks.

“So after we drink a little,” you pointed a finger playfully on her chest, “we need to dance!” You giggled, the atmosphere of the bar was so nice and inviting.

The dance floor was a vibrant mix of movement and sound, with people dancing and chatting with each other all around. As the music boomed from the DJ’s setup, colorful lights flickered behind the bodies of dancing people, casting a kaleidoscope of light and shadow upon the floor. Around you, the atmosphere became infectious and your body urged to move with the music in the very air around you.

“Here you go, ladies!” The bartender replied, setting your drinks down on the counter.

“Thank you,” you responded with a small smile as you took your shot. A small wince escaped your lips as the liquid met your tongue, however the warm and smooth sensation that followed as the liquid traveled down your throat was soothing, and you felt relief wash over you.

The taste of alcohol wasn’t your favorite, but the effect of it was undeniable. You were grateful for the temporary escape it provided from the nerves that previously had been coiled within you since the night began.

Ellie took a sip of her beer, and you felt a brief moment of disappointment as her hand left yours. However, she remained close by your side, not wanting to create distance between the two of you. Ellie glanced over your features as you took a sip from your Margarita.

Before you could dance, you slid your car towards the bar tenders and left her a cash tip of $10. You smiled at her when she handed the car back, you waved to her before focusing on Ellie.

“Want to go dance, now?” You questioned.

Ellie inhaled for a second, glancing at the dance floor, then took another sip of her beer. She nodded quickly, “Yeah, let’s go.”

You both placed your drinks on a nearby surface, and you couldn’t help but suggest you dance together. The idea had been in your head since you got there, but the idea seemed to intimidate Ellie. A mix of emotions flashed across her face both of excitement and nervousness.

You could see the hint of nervousness in her eyes, but at the same time, there was a spark of excitement in them. Her freckled cheeks were flushed in the lights, and she gulped. She felt like a deer in headlights for a brief moment, before you grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the dance floor.

Ellie’s eyes widened, your body moving in ways she didn’t think you would. She could see you feeling yourself in the music, slowly moving your hips against hers… and suddenly she forgot about being nervous because… fuck.

Here you were, swaying your hips, basically grinding against her and you looked stunning. The makeup you wore brought out your features so effortlessly, and the lighting of the bar… God, it made you look like an angel in Ellie’s eyes. To say you were irresistible is true.

Ellie allowed her body to give in and move to the music, you hummed feeling her hands wrap around your hips suddenly. You looked over your shoulder to see Ellie shoot you a smile, you felt the movement of her body moving with yours.

It was hot, the way you both moved together so effortlessly to the music. You turned around to face her, no longer wanting to see her face.

Ellie didn’t stop dancing, holding you close as she continued to move both of you in a slow but rhythmic manner. Her hand moved up to cup your cheek, her gaze locked onto yours, filled with affection and desire.

As you leaned into her gentle touch, relishing in the warmth of her hands on your skin, you could sense her eyes flicking down to your lips. Your tongue darted out, wetting your lips.

With a soft groan, she gently scolded you, “Babe, you can’t do that. I want to kiss you.” Her words were filled with both pleading and desire, the eye contact she held with you while saying that had your knees buckling.

“Then kiss me,” you teased. Before you could utter another word, Ellie eagerly leaned down and captured your lips in a firm, needy kiss.

Your eyes shut automatically as you reciprocated the kiss, savoring every moment of her lips pressed against yours. You didn’t want this to stop, and when Ellie’s tongue gently begged for entry, you willingly opened your mouth. Her tongue glided against yours in a passionate dance, you felt a cold sting of metal.

Wait a second… does she have a fucking tongue piercing? You moaned softly at the feeling, the intensity of the moment only growing stronger as you lost yourselves in the kiss.

Ellie’s hands descended to your waist, pulling you even closer, which deepened the kiss. You responded by wrapping your arms around her neck, your fingers idly playing with the hairs at the back of her head. The closeness was electrifying, sending shivers down your spine as she pulled back from the kiss.

Both of you were panting from the heated kiss, your chest was rising and falling. Ellie gave your waist a gentle squeeze, her firm grip on you was both possessive and hot at the same time.

Your body responded to her touch as if her hands were leaving a trail of fire in their wake. The alcohol coursing through your veins fueled your courage and emboldened your actions. The heat of her touch was almost more intoxicating than the alcohol itself, and you craved more of Ellie.

“When were you going to tell me you had a tongue piercing?” You panted out, twisting a strand of her hair between your fingers. Ellie smiled, a toothy grin appearing across her face.

“Guess I’m just full of surprises,” her voice was low, her lips hovering over yours, mere inches apart.

“Yeah? Guess you should show me,” your voice sweet like honey. It was a clear invitation, so Ellie closed the short distance between you two.

You were caught off guard by the unexpected moan that escaped Ellie's lips, the sound muffled against your own as your tongue sucked on hers. The noise sent a surge of heat straight to your core, making you ache for more.

In response, one of your hands moved up to cup her face, pulling her closer as you tried to deepen the kiss, desperation and need coursing through your body. The air around you thickened with desire, and you knew you wanted more - much, much more.

Ellie pulled back, breaking the passionate connection between your lips, a thin strand of saliva linking you for a brief moment before it snapped. You couldn’t help but whine at the loss of contact, your body craving her. Ellie looked at you, her green eyes darkened with sheer desire, and she asked, “Let’s go back to my car, yeah?”

You noticed the huskiness in her voice, and you wondered if she was just as needy as you. Either way, the proposition sent a thrill down your spine.

Your head eagerly nodded to her words, Ellie smirked a bit at your eagerness but understood. She clasped your hand in hers, before dragging you to the doorway of the bar. You felt as though you were on cloud nine, the giddiness of the whole situation settling in.

When you both exited the building, you felt the cold air hit you. You sighed softly, enjoying the coolness on your skin vs how hot it was only moments ago.

As you and Ellie neared her car, you expected her to open the passenger side door for you, but instead, the backdoor was open. Your eyebrows furrowed, confusion obvious on your face.

“Why the-“ you let out a squeal, caught off guard when Ellie lifted you and plopped you into her backseat.

“Wanna kiss you some more, can’t do it well sitting elsewhere,” Ellie mumbled as she pulled herself into the car and closed the door behind her.

“Are you okay with this?” Her arm reached out to your shoulder, eyes looking into yours. She needed confirmation you were okay with this.

“Of course, please do something, Els,” you begged.

Ellie’s body inched closer to yours, yearning to touch you finally in the privacy of her car. Her tattooed arm flexed as she grabbed one of your thighs, giving it a firm squeeze.

The whine you let out was swallowed by her lips, the two of you exchanging quick and hot pecks. As the kisses grew hotter, Ellie’s hand traveled to your ass. She grabbed the fat of your ass in her hand, savoring the feeling of how it felt in her hands.

Ellie was completely mesmerized by how your delicate skin felt against her rough skin. It didn’t help when her tongue poked out to enter your mouth, you allowed her in. Her mouth swallowed your tiny moans and whines, and the cold metal of her piercing swiped against your wet muscle.

You’d never before kissed anyone with a tongue piercing, but the feeling of it against your tongue made you let out a low moan. Ellie pulled back, her hand gave your ass a teasing squeeze. The suddenness of her action caused you to yelp from surprise.

Ellie chuckled, “If you’re okay with this… can I…” her eyes adverted from yours to the side, “can I go down on you?” She finally finished.

“Yes, oh my god,” you replied, eagerly connecting your lips in a kiss. Ellie smiled in the kiss, before separating quickly.

“Let’s take these off, yeah? My pretty girl,” her hand tugged at your skirt. Unzipping the skirt was easy, so you shimmed out of it, leaving you in just your little pink lace thong.

Ellie whistled, seeing you in your top and now just thong. Her pussy pulsated at the sight, you felt so exposed under her watchful eye. A blush spread across her freckled cheeks as her eyes ranked up and down your body.

“Ellie… you can take them off… please,” your voice was needy and whiny. Within the small space of the car, the air between you both became thick, the windows becoming foggy.

“Mmm patience, pretty,” Ellie purred out. She pulled your panties down and maneuvered your body so you could lie down comfortably. “This comfortable?”

You gave her a nod of reassurance before she unexpectedly swiped her long, slender fingers through your wet pussy. Ellie almost moaned, collecting your wetness with her digits before bringing them to her lips. She licked her fingers clean, eyes rolling back into her head at the taste of you.

Ellie then lowered her head and made her way to where you needed her the most. You spread your thighs, allowing her to slot her head between them. She then licked a strip from your clit down to your hole, which caused you to grab a fistful of her hair.

The movement of her wet tongue on your pussy felt so good, your thighs shook as she continued to lick around your pussy. Slurping noises could be heard, Ellie pushed her tongue into your tight, little hole.

“Oh- fuck! Ellie! Pleaseee,” the sensation of her filling you up with her tongue made you so desperate and whiny.

Ellie peered up, still licking away at your hole. Her eyes darkened seeing your eyes roll to the back of your head, feeling you pull at her hair, and the way you tasted made her absolutely pussy drunk.

Her own eyes rolled into her head, her tongue entering and exiting your hole, before she licked her way back up to your clit. Her focus stayed there as she wanted to make you sensitive and squirmy.

Ellie kept a grip on your thighs to keep you in place, she moved her hand down to your pussy, and slipped in two fingers.

You felt a sudden stretch inside of yourself, your wetness echoing in the car, which caused Ellie to suck harder. The feeling of her fingers going in and out of you, along with the coolness of her piercing had you so close to the edge.

Ellie whined, and your fingers dug more into her hair. “Please… oh pleaseee… Ellie, I’m so close!” Your body wanted to rive around from how good the combination of her tongue and fingers working against you felt.

Ellie so desperately wanted to make you cum, and she was going to get you there. Your begging was egging her on, her boxers dampened just from going down on you.

“Such a good girl,” Ellie groaned, head still buried between your thighs. Ellie continued to work her fingers in and out of your tight, cunt. Squelching noises filled the car, she was relentless and wouldn’t stop. Her fingers curled, hitting your sweet spot.

Your mouth fell open, the action only made her go harder, sucking at your clit and swirling it around in her mouth like a fucking lollipop. That with the combination of her fingers, sent you over the edge.

“Ellie! Fuck!” You screamed, back arching as you came around her fingers. Ellie slipped her fingers out and into her mouth, her eyes closed at the taste as she enjoyed it.

One thing about Ellie is she loved giving head. She was pussy drunk off you. Popping her fingers out of her mouth, she licked the remaining of your cum from between your legs, leaving none behind.

A small groan was heard from her, you whined feeling her still licking away, your poor clit so sensitive.

“Els… please m’ too sensitive now,” you frowned. You didn’t want her to stop, but god were you sensitive now?

“Sorry… got carried away you taste really good,” she replied, getting up from between your thighs. She leaned down and kissed you, her tongue darting into your mouth for entry, and you felt the taste of yourself lingering in her mouth. That fucking tongue piercing…

You both pulled away, your breathing particularly harder after your intense orgasm. “Lemme get my clothes back on,” you shimmed into your underwear and skirt.

Your legs wobbling as you did, Ellie took notice and bit her lip at the sight.

“Was it that good?” Ellie teased, and you playfully hit her shoulder.

“Oh shut up! You know it was,” you both laughed.

Ellie gently kissed your forehead, “Wanna stay at my place tonight? We should stop for some dinner.

You eagerly nodded, “I would love that, thank you.”

“Course, love. Let’s get to the front of the car now,” you agreed and moved to climb to the passenger seat. Ellie playfully hit your butt as you climbed into the seat.

You gasped, turning back to look at her. She just smirked, getting into the driver's side. You both comfortably got into your seats, and Ellie started the car.

“Ready?” Ellie turned to you, you finished clicking your seatbelt into place.

“Course, let’s go!” You squealed and moved to grab her hand for the ride.

The car drove to her apartment, where you enjoyed late-night fast food and were cuddled to sleep by her. Success? I think so.

[hairmetal666]

There's a boy, Eddie meets a boy, and it's mundane because they're boys and it's summer and they find each other like lonely boys in summer do. It shouldn't be the defining experience of Eddie's life, that summer, that boy. His memories are all sun drenched, tanned skin, minnow catching, swimming, camping under the stars, a fumbling, toasted-marshmallow-sticky first kiss. He grows up and still Eddie thinks there will never be anyone else like that boy.

---

There's this new teen soap schlock on the CW. It fills his social media algorithms with gossip and BTS footage and spoilers. He ignores every bit of it, so far from the target audience it's laughable.

Jeff, Gareth, and Freak get into it. At first, he takes this as a betrayal of the highest order, threatens to kill all their characters in their next dnd session, but they convince him to give it a shot.

It's airs Thursday nights and thank god Wayne is at work, he'd never live it down. He turns the TV on just in time for the cold open, and within ten seconds there's a beautiful man on screen. Chestnut hair, coiffed carefully back; down-turned, hazel puppy dog eyes; freckles and moles dotting his face and neck--Eddie would recognize them anywhere, spent hours mapping the constellations of them during their one magical summer.

He sinks to his knees in front of the TV--nose inches from the screen--watches the whole episode that way. For the entire hour, the only thing he sees is Steve Harrington.

Eddie doesn't move until after the credits have rolled. He can't believe that the boy he knew all those years ago is an actor on a popular show, that he'd just missed finding him, all this time.

Before he can talk himself out of it, he Googles, which is a mistake immediately, because the most popular pictures are from a GQ photoshoot where Steve is very wet and very shirtless, the amount of chest hair on display enough to kill a man. He forgets how to breathe for several seconds, before quickly scrolling away, which is also a mistake because it's how he learns that Steve 1) dated his castmate, Nancy Wheeler for several years before 2) she got caught cheating on him with another castmate, and 3) he's often seen out and about with his current on-screen girlfriend, Robin Buckley.

For his own sanity, he has to put his phone away. It isn't like he's going to see Steve ever again, obviously, so he needs to forget all this. Keep the memory of that summer safe.

---

It's late spring and Gareth invites them all to their favorite bar in Indianapolis. One of their friends from their Corroded Coffin days got a gig playing bass for some up and coming indie guy, tickets and drinks are comped. It's not their usual vibe, musically, but who is Eddie to say no to a free night out?

And, look, night of, the music isn't his vibe, but the place is packed and he's with his best friends, and the drinks are flowing, so even he finds himself swaying along to the whiney hipster shit coming from the stage.

Eventually, the lights go down for the headliner, and the crowd crushes forward in a way Eddie isn't used to in this bar. He lets himself be pushed forward, somehow ending up right in front of the stage.

When the lights go up, he stops breathing.

It's Steve.

Steve right there in front of him, guitar strapped across his midsection. He's wearing dorky little Ray-Ban sunglasses, but Eddie would know that hair, those moles, anywhere.

There's no way Steve will notice him, remember him, but it's enough to see him now, to hear his music. Eddie dances and smiles at the boy who got away. Maybe he'll mourn later for the distant hope he harbored deep within his heart. But, he thinks, this is enough.

Steve comes out for the encore, takes off the sunglasses, tosses them straight to Eddie, smiles big and genuine and familiar. His heart stops. It can't be real, it can't mean anything, but he's so elated that his soul might rise from his body.

The show ends, the buzz of it, of Steve, reverberating through Eddie as he makes his way back to the bar. It's crowded with people, but he slides through the bodies until he's at the front. Someone taps him on the back, and he thinks they're trying to get through, but when he turns it's Steve.

His smile is so beautiful, Eddie thinks that maybe he's dying.

"Eddie!" Steve says.

"Stevie!" He doesn't mean for the old nickname to come out, couldn't keep it in.

"You remember me!" Steve is beaming.

"I'd never forget you." He's smiling just as hard. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Steve's nose wrinkles. "I've got, like, fifty coming. We could go somewhere quiet to talk?"

He's never said yes to something so fast in his life.

They go back to the postage stamp sized green room, and he's surprised to see Robin Buckley there. His stomach shrivels for a second, but she stands and he sees the lesbian flag painted on the side of her Converse, the oversized vest she's wearing.

"You want me to skedaddle?" She asks. He loves her immediately.

"Do you mind?" Steve asks. Robin shakes her head.

"Nice to meet you, Eddie," she calls as she sails out the door.

"You told her about me?" He knows his smile is downright goofy.

Steve blushes. "Um, yeah. Maybe a little? Just that I met a boy from near here one summer. And, uh, maybe something about him being my first kiss?"

"Oh." Eddie thinks he might burst into flame. "I wasn't sure if--I didn't know if you'd remember."

"I'd never forget," Steve says.

"You got famous." Eddie says, which is dumb, but he doesn't know how to deal with Steve cherishing those childhood memories the same way he does.

"I guess I did." Steve looks down, hair tumbling around his face. "It's probably not what you were expecting."

"Did I expect to turn on the tv and see my first crush staring at me in HD? Not quite. But It was amazing. You're amazing."

"I'm on a CW show," Steve laughs.

"So?"

"I think maybe you're a little biased about your first crush."

"Are you saying that's a bad thing?" They're flirting, he thinks. Can't believe it's happening, that Steve might--

"Well, maybe, but only if you tell me you don't have a crush on me anymore."

"Are you kidding? I saw that GQ photoshoot."

Steve's laugh is loud and bright, like fireworks in Eddie's chest. They're closer now, sharing warmth, breath.

"I have some candids if you want to see."

"Don't tempt me with a good time, Stevie."

They're quiet for a second, Eddie a little breathless from how hard they're flirting, how right it feels.

"You were great out there," he says.

"Thanks." Steve smiles, bashful. "I know it's not your kind of music."

Eddie shrugs. "I like what you do."

"And to think, you've barely gotten a taste yet." Steve pauses for a beat, horror dawning on his face. "Oh, shit. That was--I'm sorry--I--Robin says I always come on too strong, and I promised I would play it cool, but--"

"You never have to play it cool with me," Eddie says, sincere through his laughter.

"This is fast, though, right? I mean. The second I saw you in the crowd, it--it confirmed everything I thought when we first met. That's--is that crazy?"

Eddie's smile is softer now. "Not at all." Gently, he cups Steve's cheek with his hand. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please," Steve breathes. "God, Eddie, please."

Their mouths meet and it starts out sweet and slow, but it's not childhood crushes anymore. Eddie's tongue teases at the seam of Steve's lips, which part for him like he's the only one in the world with the magic words.

It's sweeter than any marshmallow.

[amazinglyashy]

Hi! I was wondering if I could request a prompt where the reader is out at night with the LIs, wearing a pretty outfit, a man just approaches her and rudely asks “how much for a bj?” How would they react/protect her from such a creep?

(Sorry, for my English, I hope it made sense haha🤞🏼)

Very Minor N/SFW Warning!! This one really made me laugh because this has happened to me before, and the situation mostly pans out with my own partner having to yank me away to avoid having to post bail on me later in the evening. Remember to leash your dogs kids! Thank you for the request!! <3

LaDS men when you get catcalled/propositioned on the street

Xavier -

He's apologizing profusely to you because the ensuing bloodspray from how hard he punched the guy in the nose got on your dress and he genuinely feels awful about it.

There is not much to it, besides he acted embarrassingly quickly, to the point you wonder to yourself if he's just been silently waiting for this moment to come.

He's used to going out with you for drinks or evening dates- it's one of the more common ways for the two of you to hang out aside from spending the evening in one of your apartments with the other. Juggling work and clocking out with social activities would also mean walking late at night, to go to a movie or even on a snack run.

So needless to say, he has in fact, been mentally preparing himself for something like this to happen.

He can't help it.

He doesn't ever want to see you disrespected- he doesn't care the context. Work, family, friends-

And now, what, a stranger asking you for sexual favors?

You wait calmly with him while he speaks to the officers about what happened, trying to contain your giggles at how sheepishly he looks at the ground, his face still painted with the most adorable anger.

Zayne -

Quickly, he's pushed you behind himself and holding eye contact with the guy. It doesn't matter if he's drunk, or perfectly sober, Zayne won't excuse someone saying such a ridiculous thing to you.

He has his usual air of politeness and manners, but the bite in his voice is more than apparent, even to someone who doesn't know him. Dressed as nicely as he is with the air he carries around him, it's a weird experience for those who don't know how protective Zayne can get.

He will tell the man to give you an apology and back off, or there will be consequences.

You know what those consequences are, and despite feeling smug about how protective Zayne is, you're trying to grab his arm and stop him, to no avail.

If the creep tries to reach for you, Zayne will back up into you to force you back gently, and the man will quickly realize that he can't reach forward anymore-

Even as Zayne walks away with you, the ice is still creeping up the man's body. Slow enough, but still moving.

Hopefully an OTTO calls for help in time. Hypothermia at night would suck.

Rafayel -

He's immediately between you and the guy, hand long since dropped your own as he crosses his arms and stares the guy down.

If you hadn't known him so long, you would expect him to fire off a tirade of insults and comments at the guy- but you know Rafayel. You know him well.

He tells the guy to back off, in the most simple of terms as he glare is enough to set the man alight- and Rafayel's evol does just that when the guy doesn't seem to back down- lighting up the shoulders of his clothing and causing him to flay around screaming, as Rafayel pulls you to keep walking.

The amount of tasteful compliments on your attire rise, and you know he's doing it to keep you from internalizing the earlier interaction and stop dressing how you want.

He doesn't need some random freak to keep you from expressing yourself how you want to. Of course, he'll always find you attractive, and the little outfit you're wearing is doing numbers to him, but that's not his focus here at all.

He wants you to feel comfortable, confident-

And he'll do everything in his power to make sure you always do.

Sylus -

I am not entirely sure the man who's asking you has finished his sentence before he's slammed once against a nearby building and then released.

Sylus makes no motion to indicate that it was his doing, continuing to walk along with you to wherever the two of you had been going in the first place-

But you knew.

You had seen his stupid red mist envelope him.

For a second, you'd been scared that he was going to kill the guy- and while you knew someone who was comfortable saying such a thing to someone needed to be put in their place, 'murder' was not at all the same as 'putting someone in their place'.

No, he was just slightly- sort of- broken.

Just a bit.

Sylus won't react much, he may give a passing comment about the man, but otherwise, he's back to complimenting you or conversing with you about whatever subject you two had been discussing prior to the creep showing up.

"Sorry, sweetie. I know you don't like bugs. I tried to handle it as... efficiently, as possible."

[brookghaib-blog]

Almost Loved

Pairing: Robert ‘Bob’ Reynolds x reader

Summary: Four months of dates, gave Y/N hope that she found the one after hopeless years, Bob looks in love, treats beautiful. There's one step that looks like it's coming. Until Bob breaks it off with her. Encountering each other a year and an half later. What happened ?

Word count: 6,5k

--

The grocery store was mostly quiet—late afternoon sunlight filtering through the large glass windows, casting soft golden streaks across the polished floor tiles. Y/N pushed her small basket along the aisle, her phone held in her other hand, thumb scrolling through a lasagna recipe that Serena had insisted would “change her life.”

It was girls’ night.

Their tradition, sacred in its own way, made up of wine, old movies, and food that took too long to make but always felt like home. Tonight, lasagna was on the menu. It was her turn to host, and she wanted to get everything just right. Maybe too right. Maybe part of her was overcompensating. She’d been doing that a lot lately.

She squinted up at the higher shelves. The tomato sauce she wanted—San Marzano, the expensive one Serena swore by—was two rows too high. She shifted onto her toes, stretching her arm out, her fingers just grazing the label, before letting out a quiet sigh of frustration.

“Of course,” she muttered, taking a step back and scanning the aisle for help.

That’s when she saw him. Tall, broad-shouldered, with a sharp jaw and neatly kept beard, the man at the end of the aisle looked like he belonged on the cover of some men’s adventure magazine. He wore a dark sweatshirt with the sleeves pushed up to his forearms, revealing strong arms and a small tattoo near his wrist. His cart was half-full—red wine, two frozen pizzas, a bunch of bananas, and a bottle of olive oil.

Y/N bit her lip. Just ask.

“Hey,” she called gently, waving her hand. “Sorry—could you maybe help me with something?”

He looked up instantly, offering a smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle. “Sure.”

She pointed up at the shelf. “That tomato sauce… unless you’re tall and also secretly Spiderman, I might need a hand.”

He chuckled, stepping forward and easily grabbing the jar with one hand, holding it out to her like it weighed nothing. “This one?”

“Exactly.” She took it, her fingers brushing his. “Thank you, mystery grocery aisle hero.”

“John,” he said with a sheepish grin. “Not as impressive as Spider-Man, but I do try.”

“Y/N,” she replied, unable to stop the small smile curling her lips.

Their eyes lingered on each other just a moment too long—an unspoken curiosity hanging between them. A spark, tentative but real. John glanced down at her basket.

“Making lasagna?” he asked.

She nodded. “Girls’ night. Wine, pasta, and probably too much gossip.”

He laughed again. “Sounds better than my plan—just grabbing stuff for a hangout with friends. It’s my turn to cook and by cook I mean… order takeout before they show up.”

Y/N smirked, “That’s still a noble skill.”

There was something warm in his tone. Easy. Not forced. It had been so long since she’d felt this light while talking to someone. And for a brief second, she forgot about the ache that lived behind her ribs anytime she interacted with a man. Like Serena said, great man appear out of nowhere.

“John! Dude, I found the protein powder Yelena’s been obsessing over. It was hiding behind—”

The voice cut off mid-sentence.

Y/N turned, instinctively.

The world stopped.

There he was.

Bob.

His hair was longer now, messy and falling into his eyes, and he had a faint beard, the kind that made him look older… worn. Like time had passed, and he’d felt every second of it. He wore a simple hoodie, sleeves pushed up, hands calloused. But it was his face—his expression—that broke her.

Frozen.

His mouth opened slightly like he wanted to say something, anything. His blue eyes widened, a storm of shock. He stared like he couldn’t believe she was real.

Neither could she.

Y/N stood perfectly still. Her heart pounded so loud she thought it might burst out of her chest. The weight of the tomato sauce jar grew unbearable in her hand.

He was here. He was here?

And he hadn’t told anyone about her. Not even the people he called “friends.” Not even the man standing next to her, John, who looked between them, completely confused.

“Bob?” she whispered, barely audible. Her voice cracked. “You—”

He took a step forward, like he might say something.

She ran.

She didn’t think. She couldn’t. The tears were already forming before she reached the next aisle. Her basket fell from her hand and hit the floor with a thud, the sauce rolling out and spinning to a stop.

Her chest heaved.

She leaned against a shelf near the cereal boxes, trembling, covering her mouth with her hand as a sob escaped.

He had been gone. He had blocked her. Vanished like she never mattered.

And now… he was here. Talking about groceries. Laughing. Living.

She wiped her eyes furiously and forced herself to walk out of the store, not even caring that she had nothing in her hands. She just needed to get away. Far away.

Back in the aisle, John frowned.

“Dude,” he muttered, turning to Bob. “What was that? She ran off like you shot her.”

Bob didn’t answer. His eyes were locked on the direction Y/N had disappeared, his mouth slightly parted, like he’d forgotten how to breathe.

“Was that your ex or something?”

Still no answer.

John stared at him, then let out a low whistle. “She was gorgeous. And funny. Jesus, I was gonna ask her out. You just cost me a date, man.”

Bob flinched, the words hitting harder than they should have.

“I didn’t know she’d be here,” he said quietly.

“You didn’t say anything about her,” John added, grabbing a bag of chips and tossing it into his cart. “I mean, I get it, but… you looked like you saw a ghost.”

Bob swallowed hard. His chest felt tight.

She had been right there. Just a few feet away. Smiling. Laughing.

And then she’d looked at him like he’d stabbed her in the chest.

He had. Maybe not with a blade, but with silence. With abandonment.

He remembered the coffee shop. The way her lip trembled when she smiled. The messages he never responded to. The way he erased himself from her world, thinking he was doing the right thing. Saving her from himself.

But seeing her again… it shattered something in him. All the excuses fell apart.

He had hurt her.

--

The lasagna sat in the middle of the table, bubbling slightly at the corners, steam rising in curls that filled the small kitchen with the scent of garlic, tomato, and regret. Serena poured a generous glass of red wine into Y/N’s glass before filling her own, sliding the bottle away without a word. The atmosphere in the room was warm—candles flickering on the windowsill, Billie Holiday playing softly in the background—but the tension sitting between the two women was impossible to ignore.

Y/N hadn’t touched her food.

Serena had only taken a few bites, watching her friend with quiet concern.

“So,” Serena finally said, her voice gentle, careful. “Do you wanna tell me why you’ve been staring at your wine like it just insulted your mother?”

Y/N let out a soft, humorless laugh. “It’s so stupid. The whole thing. I feel like an idiot.”

“You’re not,” Serena replied instantly, setting her fork down. “But you’re going to tell me what happened, or I swear I’ll drag it out of you with force.”

Y/N exhaled, bracing herself. Then she began.

“I was at the store,” she said, voice barely above a whisper. “Getting the last of the ingredients. The stupid tomato sauce, remember the one you swore by?”

Serena nodded slowly.

“I couldn’t reach it,” Y/N continued, twisting her napkin in her hands. “So I asked this guy to help me. He was cute. Really cute. Like, rom-com cute. Beard, kind eyes, flirty but not in a gross way. I haven’t really done that in a while. Not like that.”

Serena tilted her head, encouraging. “So far, this sounds amazing.”

Y/N’s mouth trembled.

“Then… he showed up.”

Serena’s face dropped. “Who?”

Y/N didn’t even have to say the name.

Bob.

She could see the change in Serena’s eyes immediately. The softness vanished, replaced by a hard edge—fury restrained behind tight lips.

Y/N looked down at her lap. “He just—walked into the aisle. Laughing. Talking to that guy, John. Apparently they’re friends. He was holding some protein powder like it was the most normal fucking thing in the world.”

Serena blinked, slow and disbelieving. “You’re telling me he just… appeared? Like a damn ghost?”

Y/N nodded. “After a year and a half. After disappearing without a word. No text. No call. Not even a ‘go to hell.’ Just gone.”

Her voice cracked on the last word, and she pressed her lips together hard to keep from crying.

“I looked at him, Serena,” she said, shaking her head. “And I—I froze. I couldn’t breathe. And the worst part is… my heart still reacted. It still did that stupid flutter thing like I was nineteen and he was everything.”

Serena was silent for a beat. Then she pushed her plate aside and reached across the table to grab Y/N’s hand.

“Fuck him,” she said quietly but firmly. “You hear me? Fuck. Him.”

Y/N let out a strangled laugh, then immediately wiped at her eyes.

“I know,” she whispered. “I know, but it’s like… I’ve spent so long trying to glue myself back together. I buried him, Serena. I buried everything we had. I made peace with it—at least I thought I did. And then today, for a second, it felt like nothing had changed. Like I was right back in that place again, where every little part of me wanted him.”

Her voice cracked again. “It sucks. It sucks so bad. I wanted to like this new guy. I was about to give him my number, I think. And then—boom. Bob. Like the universe just couldn’t let me move on.”

Serena’s eyes burned with protective anger.

“He doesn’t deserve space in your heart, Y/N,” she said, fierce and gentle all at once. “You gave him everything. And he threw it away without even saying goodbye. You think I don’t remember the way you cried for weeks? The way you couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t even look at his name without breaking?”

Y/N covered her mouth, the tears threatening again.

Serena’s voice softened. “You’re not stupid for still feeling something. That’s what heartbreak is. You loved him. You let him see parts of you no one else ever did.”

Y/N sniffled. “And I think a part of me still does. Still loves him. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“No,” Serena said instantly. “That’s human. But you don’t owe him your hope. He left. He didn’t fight. He didn’t stay.”

Y/N finally took a sip of her wine, the burn grounding her a little.

“I keep wondering if he missed me,” she admitted. “If he ever thought about me. If he lied awake at night regretting what he did.”

Serena looked at her with soft eyes. “Maybe he did. Maybe he didn’t. But if he loved you, he never should’ve left like that. Love doesn’t disappear. People do. Cowards do.”

Y/N was quiet for a long time, her fingers tracing the rim of her glass.

“I still think about the way he looked at me,” she whispered. “Back then. Like I was the only thing in the world he saw. I don’t think I’ll ever feel that again.”

Serena leaned closer. “You will. You will when it’s real. When it’s with someone who doesn’t just look at you like that—but chooses you every single day. Someone who doesn’t vanish when things get hard.”

Y/N finally broke. A sob slipped from her lips, and Serena was out of her chair and wrapping her arms around her in an instant. Y/N clung to her best friend like she was a lifeline, letting the tears fall freely now, the pain she’d bottled up for so long spilling out into the soft candlelit air.

“I thought I was over him,” she cried.

“I know,” Serena murmured. “I know, babe. But healing isn’t linear. You’re doing your best. You’re allowed to break sometimes.”

Y/N nodded against her shoulder, her voice muffled.

“And I still think he was the love of my life.”

Serena pulled back slightly, brushing her hair from her face.

“Then one day, maybe the universe will send you a new one. One who stays.”

--

Bob's pov

Bob stood in the kitchen, the light above the stove casting long shadows across the walls as he leaned over the counter, knuckles white from how hard he was gripping the edge. The plastic grocery bags sat forgotten near the door.

He hadn’t spoken since coming home. Not to John. Not to anyone.

John had kept going on in the car, half-laughing about how he was this close to getting her number, teasing Bob for “spooking” her like some weird jealous ex.

Bob hadn’t said a word. What the hell could he have said?

He couldn’t tell John that the girl he was casually flirting with in aisle seven was the woman who had once been everything. That she used to fall asleep on Bob’s chest to the sound of his heartbeat. That she used to kiss the inside of his wrist like it was sacred. That she had known the worst of him—all of him—and stayed, until he made the decision to leave her behind like a fucking coward.

And now, there she was, alive and radiant and standing in the middle of the store like a goddamn punch to the throat. Smiling. Laughing at John’s stupid joke. Looking at him like she used to look at Bob.

God, he couldn’t breathe.

He sank down onto one of the kitchen chairs, resting his elbows on the table and burying his face in his hands. His beard scratched against his palms, but he barely registered it. His mind was a thousand miles away—no, a year and a half away—trapped in the memories he tried so fucking hard to forget.

Y/N in his bed, tangled in sheets and laughter.

Y/N at the beach, sunlight dancing in her hair as she splashed water at him, yelling that he was “so annoying” but smiling like he held her whole heart.

He exhaled shakily and looked around the dim apartment. It was sterile. Empty. Like him. No trace of her voice, her warmth, her chaos. Just silence and shadows.

He had left her because he thought it would protect her. Sometimes he thinks that maybe he was supposed to be alone, because he deserved it.

He had found her, the greatest woman he had ever seen and feel, he wants to blame life, but he knew it was him. If he didn't turn into an addict, if he had dropped the meth and put it away, if he hadn't overdosed that night. Would she still be here?

Because every time he looked at her, he saw the eventual breaking point. He saw her watching him unravel. He felt the guilt of knowing she deserved someone normal—someone who didn’t wake up in cold sweats, someone whose mind wasn’t a minefield, someone who didn’t need to fight himself just to stay.

So he did what he thought was merciful.

He vanished.

No goodbye. No explanation. Just... nothing.

But today proved something he hadn’t let himself believe until now: He never stopped loving her. He never could.

And she looked so... beautiful. That was the hardest part. Not just in the superficial way. But in the way she carried herself. She was still her. Still his Y/N in every tiny detail—the way her hands moved, the way her eyes narrowed when she focused on something, the way she stuck her tongue slightly out when she read off her phone.

And she had asked John for help.

It was such a small thing. Just a jar on a high shelf. But it gutted him.

Because he used to be the one she asked for help. She used to call his name. Now she called out to someone else, someone taller, someone easier, someone available. And she smiled at him. Flirted. Laughed in that way that used to be just for Bob.

He dragged his hands down his face and stared blankly at the wall across from him. His chest felt hollow. His throat burned.

John had said, “Dude, you totally cockblocked me. She was gorgeous. She liked me. And then you showed up looking like you’d seen a ghost, and she just... ran off. What was that about?”

Bob hadn’t answered.

Because the answer was: She was the ghost.

The ghost of the life he could’ve had. The love he threw away. The hope he killed with his own two hands.

And she had looked at him for a moment—just a second—like she’d seen something terrible. Her face had crumpled. Her eyes, god, those eyes had filled with so much pain. She hadn’t said his name. She hadn’t screamed. She just turned and ran.

And he let her go.

Again.

He let her slip away, just like the first time. Not because he didn’t care. But because he did. Because the pain on her face was confirmation that he had ruined her. That he had no right to chase her down the aisle and ask for another chance. He was the wound. He was the reason she didn’t trust anymore.

He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes and let the tears finally come—silent, shattering, and long overdue.

What would he even say if he saw her again? “I’m sorry”? That wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. He had left her alone in the middle of loving him. He had broken the only real thing he ever had.

And still, his heart ached for her like a drumbeat.

Even now.

Even after all this time.

He whispered her name into the silence like a prayer. Like maybe, if he said it soft enough, the universe would take pity on him and give him one more chance.

But the silence answered back.

And Bob knew, in the deepest, most brutal part of him, that some mistakes were too big to come back from.

--

Tampa, Florida - 2 years ago

The music was too loud. Bob had never liked parties—too many people, too many conversations he couldn’t quite follow, too many reminders of how deeply out of place he always felt. He stood near the edge of the bar, his beer sweating in his hand, watching the neon lights stutter and dance across the crowd like artificial stars.

He wasn’t even sure why he came.

John had dragged him out. Said he needed to “get out of his head” for a night, meet people, be normal. Bob had wanted to argue that he wasn’t normal—never would be—but instead he let himself be swept into the mess of music, alcohol, and strangers. Maybe just for a few hours, he could pretend.

And then… he saw her.

She stood near the bar on the other side, radiant in a dress that made the rest of the room fade into gray. He didn’t know what color it was—he couldn’t remember what color it was—but he remembered the way it moved when she did, like it was made of light. Her hair shimmered under the LED haze, and her eyes—God, her eyes. Bright, alive, soft but untouchable.

She was laughing, one arm looped through her friend’s, the kind of laugh that came from someone who had fought to enjoy herself tonight. He could tell. Something about the way she moved, the way her smile slipped too quickly sometimes before she caught it again—like joy was something she was still learning how to hold without fear it might vanish.

Bob’s breath caught.

He was staring.

He knew it.

He couldn’t stop.

The longer he looked, the more something strange started happening. The noise in the room dulled. The ache in his head—the one that never fully went away—quieted. It wasn’t that she was the most beautiful woman in the room, though she was, it was that she seemed real in a way nothing else did. Grounded. Human. Safe.

He didn’t realize how long he had been watching until her friend—dark-haired, sharp-eyed—caught him. She elbowed Y/N playfully and nodded toward Bob. And then Y/N turned her head.

Their eyes met.

Blue locked on hers.

Time did that strange thing it sometimes did when your heart lurches forward before your body can follow. Bob’s stomach twisted—not in panic, not in fear, but in something rawer, deeper. She saw him. And when her lips curled into a soft, curious smile, something in him cracked wide open.

She raised her hand in a little wave, not flirty, not coy—just... kind.

Bob flushed, eyes flicking away immediately like a schoolboy caught sneaking a glance. He heard John chuckle beside him, teasing something about “just go talk to her, man,” but Bob couldn’t move. He wanted to. More than he’d wanted anything in a long, long time.

But he wasn’t the kind of man you walk up to at parties.

He wasn’t safe.

And still—he looked back.

Just in time to see her slipping back onto the dance floor with her friends, disappearing into the movement of hips and laughter, head tilted toward the ceiling like she was finally giving herself permission to let go.

But every few moments, she turned.

Just slightly. Just enough to check if he was still watching. And he was.

Every goddamn second.

Waiting for the courage to find his feet.

Bob’s fingers tightened around his beer bottle until his knuckles ached, condensation dripping like nervous sweat down the glass. He watched her—the way her body swayed to the beat, her hair catching the lights, the soft curve of her smile as she laughed at something her friend whispered in her ear.

He should move.

He needed to move.

But his body didn’t listen at first. His feet were cement, his thoughts a blur of don’t be weird, don’t screw this up, she’s out of your league. Every instinct honed by years of hiding, of pulling away, of staying silent whispered for him to just let her be a pretty moment he’d remember from the sidelines. A passing, golden thing. Nothing more.

But then—

She looked over her shoulder again.

Just a second. Just a glance.

But her eyes met his, and something shifted on that one glance among so many, and that was what did it.

Bob set his drink down with a shaky hand and rolled his shoulders back like a man preparing for battle—not against her, but against the thousand ghosts inside him whispering that he wasn’t enough. That he never would be. He took a breath and let it burn.

Then he stepped forward.

Each step through the crowd was slow, deliberate. The music pulsed like a heartbeat in his ears—louder, heavier the closer he got. The sea of people parted just enough for him to see her again. She was swaying gently, eyes half-closed as she mouthed the words to the chorus of the song. Her friends danced around her, wild and laughing, but she was like calm in the eye of the storm.

She hadn’t seen him yet.

That was okay. He needed a second. Just one more.

He stopped a few feet away, not sure how to cut through the music, the noise, the sheer impossibility of her. She felt untouchable. And yet... something about her made him feel seen in a way he hadn’t in years. Maybe ever.

Then she turned.

Mid-spin, hips still moving with the music, she caught sight of him standing there—still, awkward, unsure but trying. And her lips parted slightly. Surprised. Delighted.

“Hey,” she mouthed.

And God help him, he smiled.

“Hi,” he said aloud, hoping she could hear it, even if the song swallowed the sound whole.

She stepped closer. Her friends were still dancing, unaware or maybe just gracious enough to let her be. The flashing lights painted her in blue and purple and gold as she stopped just in front of him, close enough that he could smell the hint of vanilla and citrus on her skin.

“You were watching me,” she teased gently, voice loud enough to cut through the song.

Bob flushed, his mouth parting to apologize, but she raised a hand and laughed—soft, real.

“I didn’t mind,” she added.

That broke the spell.

“I—yeah. I was,” he said, voice low, scratchy with nerves. “You just… you looked like the only real thing in this place.”

She tilted her head, curiosity flickering behind her lashes.

“That’s a hell of a line.”

“It’s not a line,” he said quickly. “I’m… I’m not good at lines.”

She laughed again. “Good.”

They stood there for a moment—just watching each other, drinking the other in. And Bob felt something unfamiliar rise in his chest. Not desire. Not lust. Something softer. More dangerous.

Want. He wanted to know her.

“I’m Bob,” he offered, holding out a slightly trembling hand.

“Y/N,” she said, taking it.

Her hand was warm. Smaller than his, but her grip was sure. Confident. The touch lingered just a second longer than it needed to, like neither of them really wanted to let go.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted to dance,” he said. “But I’m not great at that either.”

She smiled again—wider this time, brighter.

“Lucky for you, I’m not picky.”

He chuckled under his breath, finally, truly easing into her presence. “That’s… that’s very kind of you.”

She stepped closer, just enough that their arms brushed. “Come on. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

He let her lead him into the thrumming heat of the dance floor. He moved awkwardly at first, stiff and unsure, but she was patient, warm, gently teasing him out of his shell with every movement. Her fingers found his—tentative, featherlight—and when he didn’t pull away, she smiled.

That was the moment.

The one that cracked his heart open just enough for something to bloom.

For the first time in so long, he wasn’t thinking about what he’d done, or what he was afraid of. He wasn’t thinking about what came after, or what he wasn’t allowed to want. He was just there.

With her.

And when their bodies found a rhythm, and their laughter mingled in the dark, he knew—he knew—he would never forget this night.

No matter what came next.

Because Y/N? Y/N felt like the beginning of something real. Something terrifying. Something beautiful. Something he wasn’t sure he deserved…

After the dance, the air between them had shifted.

Bob didn’t know how long they had moved like that — clumsy at first, then warm, fluid, almost like they’d known each other for years instead of minutes. The music had faded into the background eventually, a dull thrum under the sound of her laugh, the flash of her smile. She’d teased him gently for stepping on her toes twice, but he’d caught the glint in her eyes — she didn’t mind. She liked that he was trying.

When the night wound down and her friends began gathering their things, shoes in hand and jackets tossed over shoulders, Bob had lingered beside her, not quite ready to say goodbye. She didn’t seem ready either.

They stepped out together into the night — the air cooler, calmer, away from the bass and heat of the bar. Her heels dangled from her fingers as they walked side by side, arms brushing occasionally, and Bob didn’t speak for a while. Neither did she. There was something comforting about the quiet that had settled between them, like they were tuning into each other in a way words couldn’t capture.

When she suddenly looked up at the dark sky and said, “Wanna see the ocean?” he didn’t hesitate.

“Yeah,” he said, simply.

They walked.

The city fell away gradually as they made their way toward the beach. Lights grew dimmer, buildings gave way to quiet streets, and eventually, to the vast open breath of the sea. The sand was cold beneath their feet, soft and wet in places where the tide had crept too far in. They both stood at the edge of the water for a long moment, watching the dark waves roll and sigh beneath the early stretch of dawn.

The sky was just beginning to change — from black to charcoal, hints of lavender and pale pink kissing the horizon.

Bob glanced at her in the dim light.

She was hugging her arms around herself, not in discomfort but as if holding something close — the moment, maybe. Her hair danced gently in the breeze. She looked peaceful. More beautiful than she had under any neon light or club spotlight.

He couldn’t stop himself from speaking.

“You look like you belong here.”

She turned to him, startled but not upset. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Just… something about you. Quiet, but impossible to ignore. Like the ocean.”

She laughed softly at that — not mockingly, but surprised. “That’s the most poetic thing anyone’s said to me in a long time.”

He flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry. That sounded better in my head.”

“No,” she said, voice softer now. “Don’t apologize.”

She motioned toward a patch of sand a little further up the beach, where a flat, half-buried piece of driftwood made a decent seat. They sat side by side, the way people do when they don’t quite know each other but don’t feel like strangers anymore either. Shoulders almost touching. Feet buried in the cold sand.

Bob’s hands were resting on his knees, fidgeting lightly with the edge of his sleeve. She was watching the horizon, letting the silence stretch again — not uncomfortable, just there.

And then she spoke.

“Do you ever feel like you’ve lived a thousand lives but never really started one?”

The question hit him like a breath held too long.

He looked at her slowly, trying to read the shape of what she meant in the lines of her face.

“Yeah,” he said after a beat. “Yeah, I do.”

She didn’t ask for more.

Neither did he.

That was the beginning of something fragile — a moment of mutual recognition, of wounds that didn’t need explaining. They sat there until the sun bled gold across the water, until the tide inched closer and forced them to scoot back, laughing under their breath. They talked a little — about music, old movies, places they’d always wanted to go. Nothing too deep, but nothing meaningless either.

At one point, she told him her favorite sound in the world was waves crashing when the rest of the world was quiet.

Bob told her his was laughter — her laughter, he almost said, but he bit it back and just smiled.

She leaned her head on his shoulder for a few minutes toward the end, eyes closed. Not romantically, not possessively — just tired and trusting. The kind of gesture that said I feel safe with you, even if I don’t know why yet.

He didn’t move.

Didn’t speak.

Just stayed still, steady, holding the moment like it was something sacred.

Eventually, her phone buzzed. Her friends were ready to leave. She lifted her head slowly and looked at him with a sleepy smile.

“I should go,” she said, brushing sand from her dress.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Me too.”

But neither of them stood right away.

“Tonight was… unexpected,” she said, glancing at him.

“In a good way?” he asked.

She nodded. “In the best way.”

Bob’s heart clenched — gently, painfully.

He walked her back to the edge of the city where her friends waited.

But she turned back once before stepping into the waiting car, brushing her hair behind her ear, and smiled like she knew this wasn’t the end.

“Bye, Bob.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

And she was gone.

But Bob stood there for a long while, watching the tail lights fade down the street, feeling the weight of the night settle deep in his chest.

Bob stood under the faint glow of the streetlamp, watching the car carrying her disappear around the corner, taillights blinking like tiny red stars fading into the dark.

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, the kind of smile that made his cheeks ache a little, like his face wasn’t used to joy stretching that far.

He took a deep breath.

Then another.

And for the first time in longer than he could remember, he actually felt good. The kind of good that didn’t come in a bottle or from pretending. This was real. The kind of good you wanted to hold onto with both hands.

So he turned on his heel, ready to head home, already replaying everything in his mind like it was a dream he was afraid to wake up from. Her laugh. The feel of her head on his shoulder. That perfect moment on the sand.

And then— Halfway down the street— His eyes went wide.

“Oh shit,” he muttered aloud.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

“I didn’t get her number.”

The words hit him like a slap. He spun around in place, staring at the empty stretch of road where her ride had vanished, and then pressed both hands into his hair, dragging his fingers down his face.

“Bob, you idiot!” he groaned.

A seagull screeched overhead as if mocking him, and Bob flipped it off on instinct. “Not helping, man!”

Panic started creeping in.

What if she thought he didn’t want her number? What if she was sitting in that car, slowly realizing that he hadn’t asked, and was now thinking he was just being nice with no intention of seeing her again? What if she was already telling her friends, “Well, it was nice, but I guess that’s all it was”?

“No, no, no,” Bob muttered, starting to jog—then full-on sprint—in the direction the car had gone. His shoes slapped loudly against the pavement, his breath puffing visibly in the cold dawn air.

He didn’t even have a plan. He just knew he had to try.

“Y/N!” he called out breathlessly, hoping maybe the car hadn’t made it too far. “Wait—damn it—Y/N!!”

He reached the main road just in time to see a car idling by the curb, her and her friends still climbing out—apparently one of the girls had forgotten her clutch inside the bar and they’d circled back.

Thank. God.

Bob skidded to a stop, chest heaving, hair sticking to his forehead. He must’ve looked like a lunatic, red in the face and out of breath, but she turned at the sound of his sneakers scraping pavement and her eyes lit up.

“Bob?” she asked, stepping away from the car. “Did something happen?”

He nodded, trying to speak but gasping like a fish.

“Did you forget something?” she asked with a smile, cocking her head.

He opened his mouth. Raised one finger. Gulped another lungful of air.

Then:

“I—forgot to ask for your number,” he wheezed.

She blinked. Then covered her mouth to hide a laugh.

Bob groaned. “I know, I know. I got all caught up in the whole mystical beach walk under the stars thing and then you smiled at me and I—I just—my brain stopped working.”

She was laughing now, hand over her heart. “You ran all the way back just for that?”

“I panicked,” he admitted. “I literally shouted at a seagull.”

That made her bend over laughing.

Bob grinned, red-faced, but proud. “So… any chance you’ll save me from dying of regret and give me your number?”

She pulled her phone from her bag and held it out to him. “Hand it over, seagull whisperer.”

He nearly fumbled pulling his phone from his pocket, fingers clumsy, but managed to pass it to her. She typed in her number with a grin and saved it under her name—then paused.

“I’m adding a little seagull emoji next to my name so you remember.”

Bob laughed, genuinely, head tilted back. “I’m never gonna live this down, huh?”

“Nope,” she said, popping the p. “But it’s cute. Endearing, even.”

He took his phone back and stared at her name glowing on the screen, feeling a little like he’d just been handed the moon.

“Thanks for running back,” she said, stepping closer. “Most guys would’ve just let it go.”

He met her eyes. “I didn’t want to risk not seeing you again.”

The humor in her smile softened into something warmer. Quieter.

“Good,” she said. “Because I didn’t want this to be the end, either.”

Then she leaned in and kissed his cheek, quick but warm. Bob’s heart practically punched a hole through his ribs.

“Now go home before you pass out,” she teased, heading back toward her friends.

“Right,” he said, dazed. “Sleep. Smart.”

She looked back one more time, gave him a wink, and got into the car.

And Bob stood there, in the middle of the street at dawn, with the number of the girl who’d danced with him, laughed with him, walked the shore with him… and kissed him.

He looked down at his phone again, still smiling.

Best. Panic attack. Ever.

--

In the Watchtower, Bob turned onto his side, pressing a hand to his chest. His fingers curled in the fabric of his shirt, gripping something invisible. That hollow ache was still there — had never really left.

He’d run because he was afraid. Of what she made him feel. Of how clean he had to be to deserve her. Of how deep he was already falling. He knew he’d ruin her, and he couldn’t live with that possibility. So he chose the coward’s road.

But that didn’t mean he’d ever forgotten her.

Not for a second.

He remembered the way she’d always tug his sleeve when she was about to say something vulnerable. The way she smelled after the beach. How she whispered “Shut up” when he made her laugh too hard in bed.

He remembered what it felt like to fall asleep beside her and believe — even for a minute — that he was someone good.

In her home, Y/N turned again, facing the window.

“God,” she whispered into the darkness. “You wrecked me.”

And in orbit above, Bob whispered, “I never stopped loving you.”

They both stared at the night in silence.

Different beds. Different lifes. Same ache.

Reliving the same memory. Same heartbreak. Same question echoing like a curse between two broken hearts who once promised each other more.

"How did this end like this?"

[writeroutoftime]

family help

pairing: carmy berzatto x fem!reader (requested by: @kpopgirlbtssvt)

summary: when Carmy goes to propose, everyone at the bear pitches in to make it a special night

warnings: none!

words: 1k

a/n: ahh, my first time posting writing in quite a long time! definitely nervous, but I loved writing for Carmy, especially since it's 4 days until season 4! anyway, I hope you enjoy!

oOoOo

Carmy felt as though he could throw up. Granted, being in the middle of opening a restaurant on a six month-timeline made him want to throw up often, but especially in this moment. He looked around the room at all the people who cared about him. Richie and Fak arguing about where to put the flowers. Tina and Syd bringing out the food. And Sugar keeping a watchful eye on everything.

In that moment, Carmy reached into his pocket, feeling around for the small box. It had become his nervous tick over the past few weeks. Making sure the ring - your ring - was still there. It felt heavy in Carmy's hand, and he couldn't resist taking one more peak at the ring. Hopefully, the last time he would like at it before it found its new home on your finger.

It was Tina who snapped Carmy out of his thoughts. "Let me see the ring again, Jeff." she smiled."

Though he had already shown her the ring, Carmy obliged and angled the box towards Tina. "Now, I just have to pray she says yes."

"Nah, I know she's gonna say yes. You two are strong."

"Thanks, T."

A few hours later, you pushed open the door to The Bear, looking around. "Carmy?" you called out when you didn't see any of the normal bustle for this time at the restaurant.

Walking further into the space, you gasped when you saw a candlelit table framed by your favorite flowers. The door to the kitchen opened softly off to the side, and you turned and saw Carmy.

"Uh, hi." he smiled, running his hand through his hair for what looked like the nth time.

"Hi." you echoed, heart warming at the sight. "So, what's all this? Doesn't look like family to me."

"Right, you're, uh, you're right." he spoke slowly, taking a few steps towards you. "But, I, uh, did have some help."

You took a moment to take a closer look at the table. Not only were your favorite type of flowers, but also all your favorite foods. You smiled softly and turned towards your boyfriend. "What is going on?" you giggled. "It isn't our anniversary. It's not my birthday. It's not your birthday. So, what am I missing?"

"Do I need an excuse to treat my girl to a nice dinner?" he asked, pretending to be wounded by your words.

But Carmy pushed forward and pulled a chair out for you. He gestured for you to take a sit, pushing it back in as you sat. After a quick run to the kitchen, he brought out the main course and took the seat across from you.

The two of you ate, laughed, and caught up. Though you saw him every day, opening The Bear had taken a lot out of him. It was nice to just be with each other. No stress, no menus, nothing.

Eventually, Carmy reached out to grab your hand in his calloused run, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. He gave you his signature, nervous grin, his curls falling in front of his eyes. "Hey, you, um, you look really beautiful tonight."

There was no way to stop your face from heating up at his words.

"And I hope you know how much I love you." Carmy continued.

"I know." you whispered, squeezing his hand.

"I'm glad." he took a deep breath. "I know this shit with the restaurant has been crazy recently. And I know I haven't been there as much as I should be." he rushed on so you wouldn't interrupt. "But you're on my mind every second of the day. Even when I should be worried about the menu, or plates, or literally anything else, I'm thinking of you.

"It's been that way since our first date. And I have no doubt it's going to stay that way. I want to be by your side for everything that comes next. Restaurant or not. You're my rock, babe. I don't know what I would fucking do without you." he chuckled.

He reached into his jacket and grabbed a small box before shifting to one knee. Your heart was practically in your throat as you watched the scene unfold before you. It was impossible to stop the tears that welled in your eyes.

"Carmy-"

"Just wait, please? Let me get this out." he paused, only continuing when you nodded. "There's a lot I'm not sure about in my life, but the one thing I'm damn sure about is you. So, y/n, will you marry me?"

There was no need to take time to think over your answer or to worry about being eloquent. "Yes! Yes, I'll marry you, Carmen Berzatto."

"Fuck, really?" Carmy asked, feeling emotional himself, as if he hadn't expected you to actually agree.

When you repeated your response, he fumbled with the ring, almost dropping it. But he managed to keep hold of it and gentle slid it onto your left ring finger. He took a moment to admire the way it looked there, praying he would never see it off. Looking up at you, he smiled, knowing he was the luckiest man ever.

"I love you." you whispered, pulling Carmy up so you could finally hold him.

"And I love you."

As the two of you leaned into kiss, you yelped in surprise when there was a barrage of cheering and yelling that came from the kitchen. Whipping your head in that direction, your head falling against Carmy's shoulder, laughing as you saw your friends - your family - pour into the dining room.

"I told you I had help." Carmy whispered in your ear, chuckling himself.

It didn't take long for the two of you to became separated as Sydney and Sugar gushed over your ring and Richie and Fak were clapping Carmy on the back. Despite the chaos, it was perfect, and you paused to savor the moment. Carmy managed a glance at you over his shoulder and winked. Yeah, you knew everything would be alright.

[writella]

Here He Is, Finally

Synopsis: “When’s it gonna be my turn? Open me up, tell me you like it, fuck me to death, love me until I love myself—” This is a story about the inner struggles of a desiring Daryl who just wants to be free of the perceptions the town, and his own mind, have put on him, so he can love you and love himself, in the ways he’s always wanted to.

—or: As Daryl becomes the talk of the town, insecurity sets in that hinders him from having sex with you— the thing you most want to do.

Details: Daryl Dixon x fem!reader, ambiguous age gap, mixing early seasons’ + later seasons’ personality of Daryl, the town being mean but also thinking Daryl’s hot because he is, discussions of gossiping, insecurity, and poor self-image, Daryl fights someone :), and smut— unprotected + he’s nervous but then it gets good, and it’s their/Daryl’s/your first time in whatever way you want it to be.

A/N: He’s literally me (I’m a girl).

— With love from writella. ♡

There it was. You finally said it. You told Daryl that you were ready to have sex.

When you told him, the two of you were having a quiet morning and he was about to leave. Pulling yourself up to his height, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and he took you by the waist, one hand reached up to hold your head, rubbing his thumb there. Good, you had thought, he’s reciprocating. That let you know he was okay, but still, underneath, you knew he was embarrassed about last night. You weren’t going to bring it up though, not then. You wanted to move forward, to show him that you didn’t care. “Daryl,” you started, words slow, uneasy in voice but sure in intention, as you whispered to him from above his shoulder, “I just wanted to tell you– that– I feel like I’m ready.” You paused for a moment. “And whatever you feel, I’m okay with it. Just talk to me.” As silence ensued, you kissed him on the cheek, “I love you,” you said, and pulled back.

Daryl kept his hands in yours as he looked at you. His features were sad and soft as much as they were unreadable. He kissed you on the forehead. “I love you too,” he said– it wasn’t the first time you two had exchanged those words– and then he left. Just like that.

You had no expectation for how he would react. You only knew he wouldn’t give you a flat-out no, so this, was understandable. But still, there was something hollow about it, even if his kiss and words were tender. It was another relationship moment that reminded you that these things never happen as they do in fairytale romances.

You see, you had always pictured him or whoever you were with at the time, bringing you close, kissing you, their fingers trailing down and under the hem of your skirt or pants, asking you if you were ready, if you were sure, if you wanted them to go slow, slower, but Daryl— as it turns—was incredibly pure, or at least pretending to be. Either too nervous or sensitive about these things, possibly inexperienced, or much more innocent with his intentions than you ever expected. It’s like you knew Daryl like the back of your hand, but when it came to anything about you as a couple, his history, who he’s dated before– you were clueless. You didn’t know what it could be.

One thing you did suspect, although Daryl has never told you, is that he thought of you as precious, something to be delicate with, like a flower. Sometimes you’d tell him he didn’t have to be so slow or soft when you were kissing– he was always a little sloppy anyway– and whenever there was a task to get done you’d be the first to tell anyone you could do it yourself— he knew this about you. And it’s not like he babies you or anything, that was never his way. Like when you two were fighting walkers, or doing work around the communities, or when he’d teach you how to do something. You’ve even told him that he could be a bit demanding sometimes; grouchy, rough, even; and he agreed– that was true. He didn’t do it on purpose, the whole being hard on you thing. But alone? When he was on top of you or you over him? Waking up to you? Feeling your hand reach for his own in the dark? Even just eating dinner with you? The guy was a mess! A little boy, even. Heart racing. Eyes averted at times.

Whenever he nipped you, on the lips, or the neck, maybe he pushed you on the bed too hard, grabbed your waist too tight that it squeezed the bone, there were always silent apologizes of gentle circles, sweet kisses, and tongue licks to soothe the pain or possible bruises he left on you. And sometimes, when you’re home alone or you shower together, and he starts to kiss you or pull you in by the waist, he almost always sets out with the intention that this time he’d finally do it— the sex thing— he always wanted to. Only if you knew! Honestly, he’d feel like such a pervert if he let you know how many times, both before and after you got together, that he’s thought of being inside you, or you on your knees for him, or him kissing up your thighs and tasting you– he genuinely thinks he’d really like it, all of it, but especially that. But every time you’ve kissed and kissed enough, he’d get too overwhelmed about how to proceed or too nervous to even try. He tells you that you two should shower or go to bed or that he has to go for whatever reason. So all you’ve done is grind on each other, a lot, but that’s about it. You know he’s gotten hard and you’ve gotten wet, but you’re not sure if he’s ever noticed. He wants to put his hands in your pants, he wants to rip your blouse, he wants to squeeze your breast and slap your ass, but every time he thinks about actually doing it, he feels it's too forward or raunchy, or maybe it's not actually like him in the way he’s pictured in his head, or maybe you’d hate it, and specifically the way he did it. And he has thought about doing it slowly, romantically, but every time he thinks about doing that, he feels stupid, thinking he’ll come off as clumsy and pathetic to you. He doesn’t exactly get the concept of slow and sexy yet— reaching up, breathing you in, letting his fingers linger, or hands caress and massage. It’s not that he couldn’t do it though, or so he thinks, if he really tries; it's that doesn’t even think he’s sexy to begin with.

The only thing Daryl knows for sure are the things people call him when they think he’s not listening.

“Deep and… grunty,” one much too young girl said to her equally young friend who giggled, indicating her agreement even if she was too afraid to verbalize it. “I just like his voice,” the first girl said, “it’s sexy.” Or, “Wild,” as one of Aaron’s friends whispered to him, “Like he could throw me around, do it in front of the whole town, and wouldn’t care who saw.” To which Aaron scoffed and replied, “That’s literally my fucking friend.” But in truth, it’s not like he hadn’t thought about it himself, how Daryl looked underneath his vest and button-downs– it was just once though!– he promises!– as if he needed to explain it to himself. He even told his husband about it; they had agreed on Daryl’s attractiveness. Eric called it “rugged,” and they laughed about it over dinner. Now, Aaron would repeat that word as he overheard another group of ladies discussing ways to describe or trademark some of the male leaders in town. As Aaron passed by, “rugged,” was his suggested alternative to the word “beast” when one older lady described Daryl, in a way that would make anyone not a part of the conversation cringe, “Beast, sexy armed beast.” But Aaron was only met with silence and weird hums until a girl replied that “sexy armed rugged,” doesn’t make any sense. Accordingly, all the ladies agreed. As Aaron walked away, wanting nothing more with this kind of conversation about his friends, he caught the new suggestion: “Daddy,” a girl had said with the widest smile on her face— she wasn’t a teenager, but it was obvious that this was her first time being vocal about these things. She must have felt she said something so salacious. And as much as Aaron wanted to gag, there was also a part of him that reluctantly stopped himself from laughing and blushing with the rest of the women. One of them, rolling her eyes said, “They can’t all be daddy,” to which another girl said, “But they kind of are!” and then he was too far away to hear anymore.

Daryl didn’t get any of it.

The only ones that truly bothered him though were when they added, “I know he’s a little ugly but,” or “I know he’s not my type but,” or “I know he looks a little dirty but,” “And he never does his hair but,” “And he’s not like the smartest but,” but, but, but—

It all made him feel bad about himself; more confused.

Even when it was just generally flattering, he found it hard to take any of it as a compliment. Sometimes he would, maybe the whispers of him being “kinda hot,” on the days when he’d return to his cut-off sleeved shirts, or maybe those moments when a lady would be talking to her friend saying how he’s “handsome,” or how she just knows “he’s packing–big–” and what’s better than a big dick, right? At least that is what Daryl thought (it's the bit of Merle in him) and he bets Negan wished he had one— Daryl was pretty sure Negan’s is a tiny little bitch just like his personality. No one gets to kill one of his best friends and gets more than a three-incher. Right, J.C.? If you’re even up there? Not that Daryl would mind if He were or weren’t, or cares if you cared– Daryl didn’t think about religion that much anymore anyway. And on that note, he realizes that he doesn’t do a lot of the same things he used to anymore either. Like the way he would walk around without a care, even confidently sometimes, not thinking about how much he swung his arms or the way he talked or the way his hair fell that day. There was this one time, as he was walking over to Rick in the garden, telling him he couldn’t find whatever particular tools Rick wanted, he yelled, “They ain’t there no more, Rick!” that he heard some older guy say to his friend that Daryl sounded like a “human gremlin,” to which the friend tried to one-up him by replying, “more like garbage disposal.” Then another day, some girl said he looks like a “wet rat sometimes,” especially when his hair is flat or, as said in the phrase, wet; and he never forgot it, either of them, or anything anyone has ever said about him. It’s always been like this. Even when he was a kid.

Daryl tries to remember that people have just gotten too comfortable now that Alexandria is back on track, or at least that’s basically what you had said once. When it happened, Daryl came into your room, huffing and throwing himself on your desk chair saying, “Some people don’t know how to keep their mouths shut.” To which you had asked him what was wrong, but he shook his head.

“Well,” you begin, responding to his un-answer, “some gossip is misogynized. It used to be a way for women to spread information, but–” you avoid the lecture— “I get what you mean.” You look at him, seeing the way his eyes still drift. “I can’t tell you everything, but Rosita and I had heard some people speculate on the whole her and Saddiq and Gabriel thing.” You shook your head, your eyes rolling a little, “It made her upset. I could tell. But it took her a while to talk about it. I think some people forget they can talk behind closed doors now. Our porches aren’t as private as they used to be and… people have gotten mean.” To that, you both nodded in agreement and then you climbed toward the edge of your bed to hold his hand. Something was obviously wrong. “Has anyone said anything about you?”

Again, he shakes his head and you have to leave it at that— all he wanted to do was ask questions about you now, and he wouldn’t let you change the subject.

But at home, alone, he stares at the mirror, trying to see what other people see, the more decent things: handsome, rugged, possibly wild… but all he saw were things that he didn’t understand, things that made him feel he wasn’t good enough. Did they really think he was attractive? And if so, why did they always have to bring up that there was something completely unattractive about him before the compliment? And why were those remarks always easier to believe? Or was it all just some weird fantasy they felt dirty about having? And was being rude behind his back some sort of justification for that guilt? Was it all of the above? And most importantly, did you think any of this?

Next Saturday, a week after you told him you were ready, the town gathered in the church during the evening for the monthly communal meal. This was something that started during the rehabilitation of Alexandria, another thing that the population was getting too big to contain, but Rick and Judith liked it. So, Michonne agreed to keep it— for now— despite reasoning that “this is what holidays are for, Rick.”

It was about an hour in, 6pm, and sunset now past. Some people who had been busy working were still filing in, little by little, but for the most part, a majority of citizens were seated, eating, and chatting. There was a steady rain outside that made everything smell fresh, and if it wasn’t for all the chatter, you could even possibly hear the light drumming on the church walls. Everyone was quite pleased about it— an early spring was approaching.

Daryl had not come to see you last night and left early this morning so you didn’t know where he went or what he did, but what you did know for certain is that he never carried an umbrella. Therefore, when he finally arrived, 30 minutes later, his hair was soaked, and since he didn’t even wear his jacket, the long sleeves of his shirt were drenched with water droplets sticking to his vest and shoes that sloshed and left wet footprints on the wooden floor.

Obvious to say, he was noticed by all.

There is a fine line with Daryl between not giving a fuck about how he was perceived, and caring far too much while not willing to do anything about it, and of course, with all that has happened in the past few weeks, it was the ladder. He hated being the center of attention, but it was hard for him to not be noticeable, it never was, especially now. He felt ridiculous.

As he walks onto the stage– where all the tables of food are placed– you follow him.

“Hi,” you say next to him.

“Hi,” he replies, calling you by your nickname kindly enough, but not ever looking at you.

“You know, I think Rick was hoping you were coming back on time. I don’t know why he put all that stuff on his chair if it wasn’t for you or Michonne and Michonne sat with me.”

He simply nods, humming as acknowledgment.

“Daryl,” you move to the other side of the table as he gathers his food so he can look at you. Quietly you say, “We don’t have to talk about it now, but– I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable the other day. Or if it was about the night before, you just have to tell me.” You poke his shoulder, “You’re acting weird and you know it.”

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” is all he grumbles.

“But I still want to say I’m sorry if I did.”

Daryl quickly finds some napkins to dry his hands and wrists with and comes over to place them on the sides of your head to kiss you there. “You ain’t got anything to be sorry about. Alright? I’m fine.” His hands drop and holds you by the neck for a moment, the movement makes some water droplets bleed onto your clothes, you feel it but you say nothing. The only thing Daryl notices from you is that your eyes look almost identical to his despite the differing color– his mood is affecting yours, but he doesn’t know what to say right now to make you feel better so he opts for something he always know is true, “You’re perfect. You know that right?” And I’m just fuckin’ weirdo, he wants to add, but he doesn’t.

You were smiling at him. He doesn’t get it. He looked like an idiot all soaking wet and you were smiling at him. There couldn’t be a better reaction, but still, it’s moments like this where he can’t believe you’re real. All you say is “Okay,” never taking a compliment, just like him, instead of finding a way to break-up with him like he always nearly suspects. “Come to me when you finish, alright? We can leave if you want?”

“Alright,” he responds and you leave him be.

As Daryl goes down the rows of tables picking out what he wants, he heads to the last one. The way the event was set up was that everyone who came early had the opportunity to take a seat at one of the four tables that were placed along each corner of the stage and the rest sat in the pews, but despite the higher vantage point the stage gave, that did not mean Daryl couldn’t hear what those around the stage were saying around him— as always. It must be a hunter’s ear or something.

“Be careful,” a woman says smirking, her eyes gesturing to Daryl. “Let’s hope he doesn’t wet us.” The friend in front of her snickers, looking back to see that Daryl is now by the table just above theirs. Whispering, the first woman continues, shaking her head, “I don’t know how Rick or the girl put up with it. She just acted like nothing was wrong. He’s mudding up the whole damn church!”

Daryl keeps his back turned. This ends up being his last straw. “How about you shut the fuck up,” he mutters.

“Excuse me?”

Louder, facing no one in particular he yells, “Why does everyone act like I don’t got ears?”

You look up, synchronized with everyone in the church and get up with Rick who is already slowly approaching him, but Michonne yanks you down.

“What is your problem?”

To that, he turns back to the woman, “How ‘bout you say what you said again and stop talking shit under your breath.”

“What?”

“I said,” he starts yelling again, “if you got somethin’ to say about me lady, say it to ma’ face. That’s what I said.”

“Hey, what’s goin’ on?” Rick asks almost warningly, but not before someone yells, “Who the fuck are you talking to, man?” from one of the aisles in the back. It was her husband, now standing from his seat. He and his wife make eye contact, and instantly he’s moving closer.

Daryl walks to the edge of the front stage, barking a quick “move” without any pause and Eugene and Siddiq violently bob their heads and grab their plates as Daryl steps on the table and jumps to the floor.

Rick tries to push him back but it’s no use, Daryl pushes him in return and he and the husband are charging at each other, speaking over each other: “What did you say to my wife?” “Told her to shut the fuck up. Thought I said it loud enough–” “Nah, man you were mumblin’ like always–” “Or d’you need me to say it louder with ma garbage disposal mouth?” Daryl pushes him, “Huh?” “I’m not fighting you, man.” But Daryl persists, getting in the man’s face, their noses almost touching. He whispers, “You know, maybe your wife’s got everyone’s name in her mouth because she don’t fuckin’ like you.” The man keeps shaking his head, but Daryl surprises him, he isn’t the only one the town gossips about. “She’s fucking Mark,” he tells him. That was true, and people knew it. “He’s your friend, ain’t he? Maybe that’s why she’s always–” But no, not him, her husband did not know, so he punches, straight in the eye. Daryl almost smiles as he takes the next swing.

The two are tussling, but not for long as Rick takes the chance to get Daryl from behind, taking him away with Gabriel’s help. “You done?” Rick asks as Gabriel holds him on the other side, His grip honestly does nothing though and Daryl shrugs him off. Poor Gabe looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm to see the church– practically his church– in such disarray.

With that, and with Daryl raging too much to contain, he shrugs Rick off and stomps out.

Michonne finally takes her hand off of your wrist and you make you way to leave too. As you walk, you look back to Rick who is already trying to follow, and wordlessly tell him that it’s your turn now, then, turn to awkwardly dodge the people still standing in the aisle and collect your things to go.

Daryl was not hard to find. It almost made you think he wanted to be found or knew you’d go after him— he’s being such a child today. Despite the town lights, you hold out your flashlight to find him sits on a tree stump on the edge of town next to one of his favorite trees. The leaves did a terrible job of covering him from anything but you knew he didn’t care. It was almost laughable honestly. Still, you take pity, he was yours and you were concerned. “I know you don’t care about getting wet,” you say with no malice or disappointment in your voice, “but all that water in your shoes can cause blisters. You didn’t even wear the ones that don’t have holes.”

He just shakes his head, as always, and water droplets fall from the tips of his hair.

“Remember when that happened to me and you drained them with needles even though Saddiq told us not to?”

He stares at you, stone-faced for a moment. “You’re the one who told me to do it.”

“Because they hurt really bad!”

“You were being a baby.”

“Really?” You ask ironically. “So if I’m the baby why are you acting like one right now? It’s been raining since morning, Daryl! Not even a jacket? You’re obviously upset about something but I’m not going to continue this with you in the rain, looking like a sad, wet puppy.”

He sneered at the comment, wet.

“Let’s just go home, okay? Let me take you.”

“We don’t live together.”

You frown. “Don’t be mean, Daryl,” you gently warn. “You know what I mean.”

You hold your hand out for him, water collecting in your palm as you wait. It was more of a gesture than actual help as you two were still a few feet away from each other. “Please? You could have already ran away on your bike or gone home and locked your door but you didn’t. I don’t know what’s going on but don’t act like I don’t know you.”

Reluctantly, he gets up, walking to you in almost slow motion. You wish you could call him the drama queen he is right now, but it was time to get out of this rain– you would hold it in for the time being.

As you enter the small place, you make no conversation. You simply get to work and he doesn’t stop you. You take off your rain jacket and boots, then you take off his vest and boots. You drag him to his room and hang up your sweater and take off your jewelry, then you empty his pant pockets. Finally, you hold his hand as he trails behind you and into the bathroom. You unbutton his shirt and unzip his pants and place them all in the hamper. He takes off his underwear and helps you take off your clothes too. When you’re done, you turn on the water and go in, he follows. You bathe and wash his hair in silence. You are tender and gentle, and he knows it, he appreciates it, but his mind is loud, and angry, and he feels so pathetic as you wash him like he’s 5 years old. You turn around to start washing yourself as he takes care of cleaning his legs and lower area. After he’s done, all he can do is look at you, your body, the soft humming you can’t help but do when you shower. It’s exactly as he said, you’re perfect. He wants to bang his head against the wall because of it.

When you two finish, you sit on his bed, wearing one of his white shirts and a pair of boxers, he wears the same except his bottoms are sweatpants. He hates these kinds of casual clothes actually, he’s only okay with wearing it sometimes, but he has nothing else at the moment. All he had to do was give his clothes to Carol to wash, but he didn’t. He hasn’t really done anything this week.

“Ms. Ellen is a bitch.” You finally say, giving him an ice pack for his eye. “And so is Mr. Gary and they both have the whiteness names in the world. And they’re both lazy as fuck and reek of nepotism because they only had one of the biggest houses and biggest egos in Alexandria because they were friends with Deanna and they’re still bitter that their house being destroyed in the fire— which I get— but it’s not okay that she uses her bitterness to talk shit about everyone. And it’s also not okay that you used your anger to fight someone who didn’t deserve it. That wasn’t like you.”

“Maybe it is. You didn’t always know me.”

“Well, sure, can act like a tough—”

“I don’t act like anything—”

“Fine, I’ll change it: Can you be a tough guy? Yeah. But do you pick fights and make big scenes in front of the kids like that? No, you don’t.” You stare at him, tapping him on the knee and forcing him to look at you. “You not talking is obviously not working, Daryl. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

He takes a moment. “I just—”

“What?”

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” he finally says lowly.

“I don’t think you could,” you answer, “I’m not even now, I’m just frustrated. Or confused really. Why do you think you would?”

He lowers his ice pack, “Cause I’m not fuckin’ Rick.”

You laugh a little. “Well, I did have my suspicions, but great, that’s good to know. I’m glad you’re not fucking Rick.”

He sucks his teeth. “Be serious.”

“Have you not realized I’ve been trying to be? For weeks now? It obviously doesn’t work.” Both of you look down as you continue, “And I finally tell you how I feel and what I want and you just leave and barely talk to me for the rest of the week. And before you even mention coming into my bed at night or saying goodnight or good morning to me and telling me what you’ll do that day, that’s not talking, it's just saying stuff. At some point I can’t always chalk it up to Oh, that’s just Daryl; at some point, a person starts thinking that they're the problem. That I’m the problem! That I’m not good enough.”

A tear falls down your cheek involuntarily, then another; you were clenching your jaw after you finished speaking but it was no use. After everything, all the bullshit and the girls and the punch to his eye that really fucking hurt even though it was his fault he got it, this is actually the worst thing that has happened to Daryl in the past months– making you cry.

“You’re more than good enough,” he says in his mumble, still not looking at you. “I’m just stupid.”

“You’re not stupid!” You yell frustratingly as you wipe tears away. “Stop talking down about yourself!”

Daryl looks off into the window. He wants to speak, he does. The words are all on the tip of his tongue but they cannot come out, they never do. As he watches you wipe away your last tears, he thinks everyone is right, that that guy is right, he has a garbage mouth, his voice is poison. He never makes any sense and he always says the wrong thing. Why speak anyway?

“I can’t help you or at least try to understand if you don’t say anything. I know it's hard— I don’t like doing it either. I was scared to tell you what I did last week. But it just starts with one thing.”

“It's too hard to.”

“But I’ve never judged you, right? ”

He shakes his head. You haven’t.

“The first thing that comes to your mind when I say, ‘what’s wrong?’, what is it? Just say it. I don’t care what it is. I’m not going to judge you, I’m not going to say you’re wrong, anything—”

“People think I’m ugly,” he interrupts, “I’ve heard them say it.”

Your eyes widen, in shock for him and in shock that people could still care about such stupid things right now. “Who said that to you?”

He shakes his head. “That’s why I mentioned Rick. No one says stuff like that about Rick.”

“Well, I don’t want you to be like Rick and you don’t have to be.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?”

He gestures to himself, slapping his hands on his thighs, “Look at me.”

There’s something about the way his hand then reaches to cover his eyes in frustration, the way he slides it down to scratch his beard, accidentally magnifying to you the wisps of salt and pepper among the brown that gives you a clue to what he means. “I’m not some little girl, and I haven’t been for a long time.”

“I know, but you’re not my age either. And I don’t always think about you when it comes to it, it’s about me- I think about me.”

“So what about it? When it comes to the hair on your head and your eyes and the way you talk— that has nothing to do with how old you are, that’s just who you are. You didn’t choose to look as you do. And you and Rick have always looked the same age if I have to mention him, and his beard is whiter than yours at this point. Neither of you look old, or bad.” Your words do nothing so far. “You also have a better build than plenty of people in town. You’re stronger too.”

“But when they talk about Rick, all they say is that he talks too much and that he’s bossy and hardass and at least that’s true.”

You couldn’t help but smile, almost laughing a bit at that. It kind of was true.

“I’ve never heard anyone say things about him the way they say about me. Never anything about how he looks. But when they talk about me— they think I’m a fuckin’ animal.” There is silence after this. The word wild lingers in his mind and animal in yours. Again you want to ask, who could say that and have they not realized all Daryl has done for this place? Then, the more you listen, the more you realize that hidden beneath those with endless respect are some with hearts of cruelty and minds stuck in the regular old world ways that don’t exist anymore. “And sometimes, when I think about why you like me, I think that maybe it’s despite other things.”

“Despite?”

“Despite.” He practically spits.

“We all have bad qualities though. We’re not perfect.”

“I mean that I’m not some regular good looking guy.”

“Why would I want regular?” Your smile fades as his sad eyes persist. “Daryl, I can’t change your mind or make you feel the way I do about you, but why can’t you trust that I like you, and that I want to be around you? And that I’m,” you blush, “very attracted to you and I’ve felt like an embarrassing teenage girl the past few months waiting and trying to get you to have sex with me!” Quietly you say, “Have you not realized how much I really want you? How much I care? Everyday I feel lucky.”

He can’t take it. “Guess it’s like you said— can’t believe it if I don’t see it myself.”

His mouth is screwed shut, his throat tight, but just like you, it’s no use, a tear rolls down his cheek. Immediately you hug him. He holds you tightly in return and even though it makes your ribs hurt a little, you let him. All of this makes you see how much you two are alike than you’ve ever realized.

“You know,” you say into his hair, “there was this one time, I was up super early and couldn’t go back to sleep so I went out for a walk. I passed by Olivia’s house and she waved me over from her window and asked me if I could help her restock the pantry before Rick came later in the day to check it because she had this huge migraine. Well, that turned into me doing the whole thing for her. She said she was going inside for a break and some water and the next thing I know she’s asleep on her couch! And you know how her niece lives with her? I guess she runs in the morning and while I was finishing up, her and her friend lean up against one of the garage doors and I hear them talking. I was just about to open the door to leave but then she says, ‘She’s sweet but kind of a kiss-ass, right? Like a try-hard?’ And then her friend goes, ‘Yeah, she really wants to be one of them,’ ‘But all she is, is just Daryl’s little girlfriend.’” Daryl lets go to face you, his eyes incredulous just as yours were when he said someone called him ugly. “And then they started saying how I insert myself into places or something, so thought if I came out right then and they see me having done Olivia’s job for her… I didn't want them to get an up-close look of them being right. So I waited until they went in the house and then I left and for the whole rest of the week I was upset because I thought I was becoming friends with those girls but really I wasn’t, and I questioned if Rick and Michonne or Rosita or Glenn and Maggie even thought of me as a friend because they actually like me or if I’m even good enough to be one or if it’s only because I’m associated to you that they care to talk to me. I felt pathetic too.” You pause. “So, I’m really sorry, Daryl. You don’t deserve to feel like you’re being picked on in the town you live in— in the place you helped create.”

“It ain’t your fault.”

“That doesn’t make a difference. I should have said something.”

“You didn’t have to. I wanted that to happen.”

“But I wish I knew. Cause I would have if I knew. I feel like I let Michonne stop me because I didn’t understand. And all I’m saying is whether I've had it as bad as you or not, I do get it. And I’m angry for you. And you don’t have to be embarrassed to tell me things like this. It was dumb of me to keep my feelings in, just like you do with everything.”

Daryl swipes his hair to the side, parts of it are dry and waving while other areas are still wet, making him think about the rat joke. “No one likes you because of me,” he says. “You’re likable because you’re you and you care. And fuck those dumb-ass girls. They’re idiots for saying that.” He rubs your thigh. “I didn’t say anything the other day because when we were in the shower the night before I,” God, he feels stupid, “I got hard and you saw it and I realized it was the first time you saw it like that before and, I don’t know, I got scared.”

“Did you think that I’d think you’re ugly?”

“I don’t know.”

“Daryl,” you tisk, “after the amount of times we’ve showered together already?”

He gets defensive, “I don’t know! Felt different.”

“People usually get excited to know their partner is excited because of them.”

“I just feel like you’re gonna be disappointed.”

“Why do you always think that? I don’t have any expectations. I just want you to show me you love me.” You begin to look nervous, “I want to feel wanted too.”

“But I do… I do want you.”

“Then show me.”

“I don’t know how.”

You try to think, “Daryl— what is it that you picture when- when you want to do it?”

“I picture you,” he says simply.

“You do?” Your face is immediately warm.

He laughs, “Of course I do.”

“Well what do I do? Or what do you do to me?”

“Depends.”

“Pick one,” you say, almost desperately.

“Sometimes it just starts with what we always do. Kissin’. Maybe you’re on top of me.”

You waste no time; you get on top of him.

“And I press you down.” Daryl’s hands are now heavy on your hips, your hands are on his chest, you rock into him slowly.

“And sometimes I think about you bouncing on me or-” he pauses, the way you rock and the way he pushes up to you hitting a perfect spot of friction that makes the both of you gasp.

“Say it,” you tell him.

“I’m fucking you from behind. Or you're on the bottom and I’m going hard or being all gentle and shit like you but I don’t know how.”

“You know we can do all that, right?”

Daryl is red. Both you and him are surprised at yourself, but his bashfulness almost brings it out of you naturally. And honestly, your jacked and grumpy dilf boyfriend has left you repressed for far too long— you’re horny.

Suddenly, you move yourself onto one of his thighs and start palming his bulge as you rock. “Do I do this in your dreams?”

He almost groans, “Now you do.”

You move yourself from his thigh and lay down to start kissing him. He reciprocates, grabbing your face and pulling you close. Daryl starts nipping at your neck and you try your hardest not to yelp so he won’t stop. As you two continue, your slick starts to wet his boxers and you press your legs together as he gets harder under his sweatpants.

“Have you ever noticed how wet I get when we kiss?”

“Only at night,” it’s hard for his words to come out as you continue palming him, “when you don’t have clothes on.”

“And you never did anything about it?” You whine. “Do you know how bad I need you? How much I think about you?”

“I think about you more.”

“You do?

“Yes.” Daryl swallows, whimpering a little. You now stroke him, his dick riding up against his thigh, and it feels too good. “What- What do I do in your dreams?”

“You lay me on the bed and put your dick in me and fuck me and it feels amazing,” you say between hot breaths. “And you’re not scared to do it.”

“I wanna do it.”

“So, please, Daryl, do it. I want it so bad.”

Daryl uses your words as courage. He takes you off of him and goes over you.

You both take off your shirts and he strips you from his boxers and him from his sweatpants.

Finally, without regret or without him turning away you see his cock stand. It’s proud, meaty, and you can’t lie, a little scary, but you’ll never tell him, even if your widening eyes give you away. It’ll fit, you assure yourself. You won’t be afraid.

“You okay?” He asks, timidity setting in again.

But you nod assuredly. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

You pout, he’s stalling. “When you look at me, what do you see?”

“Beautiful.”

“And you're handsome. No pretenses. No exceptions.” You come up on your knees to face him, kissing his lips softly. “It’s like we said, we’ve dreamed about this.”

You lay down again, and Daryl places his hands on your inner thighs to spread them, making space for himself. You watch as takes hold of himself, mouth agape and pumping himself a few times as he stares at your body before slowly entering you. Your pussy is drooling at the sight.

Your eyes instantly close and scrunch. Although it worries Daryl, he’s glad you’ve shut them so he can continue looking up and down— up at your face to see if you’re in pain and down as he watches his cock enter you for the first time. You were incredibly tight to him, tighter than he ever imagined, he wasn’t used to this feeling and he liked it, a lot. It made his stomach clench and all his muscles flex as his breathing gets heavier, trying to stop the possibility of him moaning at the sight of it all.

“Are you okay?”

It was big and there was something about it that felt good but it hurt, the stretch indescribable, but you nod and tell him, “I like it,” because that was true, and everything else felt like too much to explain right now, your thoughts almost dissipating.

“You sure?”

You just nod again, whining.

“Alright,” he says, putting his hands on the bed to start.

Once more your eyes screw shut. He almost takes himself out before he pushes back into you again. He doesn’t know if he went slow enough but he tried. Your eyes wrinkling because of how hard you closed them doesn’t help though. He wants to tell you to relax but he’s not even relaxed himself to even make it sound believable.

He tries again, not going so far out this time and slowly goes back in to the hilt again, so slowly in fact he thinks that must have been awkward for you. He stops, tries one more time, then stops again. Your sounds seem like you’re hurt. He knows you’ll say it’s just pain and adjustment to his size but he instantly perceives it as disgust. He knows it’s not, but he can’t help it, he can’t. He must be ‘too much’; ‘too big,’ that’s what it is. Those are things he has heard in porn tapes Merle used to give him or things he noticed in porno mags he maybe used to read that he had found in a store near Hershel’s farm all those years ago, and supposedly it was a good thing for it to be too much, but now, look at you: you were in pain. And it was taking everything in him not to ram into you. He felt pathetic, again. Stupid, again. Like he didn’t know what he was doing. Maybe he should just withdraw right now, clean you up, try to give you a sympathetic look through his hair that said he was sorry for defiling you and not even make you feel an ounce of pleasure in the process. Everyone was right, he is a joke.

“Daryl,” you say, looking up at him, “you don’t have to keep stopping for me. I just need to relax and you just need to be slow. I think I can take it.”

“I know,” he responds, kissing your forehead.

“Close your eyes,” you tell him. “Do what feels right to you. You have to trust me to tell you if it hurts or not.”

He almost laughs at that. You think he’s so strong; that he has all the power. It’s so strange to him.

Daryl puts his head in the crux of your neck, closes his eyes, and tries again. He holds your waist, thumb on your ribs and the other fingers on your back as he pushes his hips into you.

You hug his chest and feel all of it. “Make yourself feel good Daryl, it’s gonna feel so good to me if you do that, I promise.” After his 4th small pump you let out a whiny moan of relief. “Oh- okay- keep going.”

Daryl moves his elbows to the bed by your head and starts pushing his hips against you, finding a rough yet steady rhythm. He loves the slapping sound your bodies are making and can’t help but speed up. He goes deeper and you start moaning. He already feels he’s losing himself. He tries to kiss you to slow down, but realizes he can’t plow into you the same way he just found out he likes. He goes back to it and he starts grunting and groaning— there is a part of him that is embarrassed by it but it just feels so good. “Are you gonna come?” He asks between sharp thrusts.

“Don’t focus on that,” you tell him. “Stay like this. Please.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice, he really can’t think of anything anymore than continuing to pump himself in you so he does. You try your best to rock up into him, but he has full control, his hands on your hips still as tight as ever as he pushes into you, making you and the bed bounce at his mercy.

You’re more than fine with it all. Even better, you couldn’t believe this meant that Daryl was about to come inside you. Something in you knew it was about to happen. It was the way he placed his elbows by your head and started cursing and ramming into you harder and even whimpered in your ear and gave you these little puppy kisses there before getting back to it. You were surprised by how noisy he was but you didn’t dare say a word other than panting and whining back into him so he’d continue, even in moments when it felt too much and too hard. He was forgetting all his doubts and that was the goal right now. You lock your legs around his hips and tell him, “You feel amazing inside me. My handsome man,” and that does it, “Oh, fuck,” he says as he releases every last drop of himself inside you.

Now, as he slows down, he looks at you, thumb on your bottom lip and chin as he tries his best to keep rolling his hips on you as he comes down from his high, but you ask, “Will you kiss me down there, Daryl? I’ve always wanted that.”

“You don’t want me to make you come?”

“I think it’ll happen if you do it like that. I just want to know what it feels like.”

He stops for a moment deciding if this means he’s failed or not, but he simply says, “Okay,” all kindly and nodding like it was your idea even though it was because this means another one of his dreams were coming true.

Instantly, he’s licking you, feeling more assured of what he could do— this was one of his most vivid fantasies so even though he doesn’t know for sure, he thinks he’s got.

“Oh, oh my god,” his tongue is bringing up wetness to your clit and sucking on it, “that’s good.” He starts licking your clit, going fast, “Daryl, that’s so good.”

He looks up at you, dazed already, “Yeah?”

“Oh, yes.” You fix his hair and he loves the feeling. Truly, he was going a little too fast actually, going up and down and this way and that way too much, but the sounds his mouth and your pussy were making together were too glorious. You let him go, you let him be proud, and either way, you’re whining and moaning because of it. He’s perfectly imperfect and he doesn’t even know it. But you’re too in love with the feeling of him to explain what that means right now so all you say is what he told you about yourself in the church, “I think you’re just perfect.”

To that, he stops again and he looks up at you, smiling. It’s one of those rare ones he seldom does, teeth and all, and your slick coating his lips all the while. His eyes are shining, and he gives you the smallest, sweetest, most innocent kiss to the most obscene place on your body— your clit.

At this point all your sounds have been short, quiet, filled with whines but to this, you moan at the sight, full and loud. It’s involuntary. It’s pornographic. It’s the hottest thing he’s ever heard in his life. His cock stirs, springing up again as he goes back to giving you your first and forever the most slobberiest head of your life.

After a while he beckons you from below, “Hey, angel,” he calls.

“Mm,” you respond lightly. You’re nearly blissed out. He’s going to make you come.

“I think those girls were right.”

Your eyes become so cute yet so sad— you just want him on you again. “What do you mean?”

“You are sweet. Sweetest thing I’ve ever had in my life.”

“Oh,” you whisper, moaning again as he goes back to licking your clit. “Oh. Fuck.”

He starts licking and kissing your puffy lips, making wet sounds with his tongue, slurping little bits of you where he can. He loves how slick and noisy your pretty pussy is. Your clit throbs and he hums into it all dark and grumbled and husky going, “Mmmmmm.”

You tell him, “God, it’s so good, Daryl.” To which he responds, referring to a different it, “And it’s mine.”

Oh, so he’s cocky now? Well, that’s new for him. You lay back at the thought, at the feeling, reveling in delight.

Here he is, finally.

[grimmsbride]

﹡ ֗ ۪ please, baby please

LOVE FOR YOU 𝜗𝜚ྀི GRIMMS BRIDE

₊　 ✉️ | DATE NIGHT, pretty dresses and an even prettier you. Mark cant help but end the night with a little dessert..

﹡ | tags ◞　 ₊　 pre-established relationship | excessive use of pet names & dirty talk | reader is a bit of a tease | oral sex (f. receiving) | reader is chubby coded | mark lifts you | he likes you in heels.. | he’s a little pathetic | begging & yearning mark | ooc mark probably.. | he’s on his knees for you… literally | etc

﹡ | author’s note ◞　 ₊　 love writing mark like a slut, cause that’s what he is /j.. i also may do a drafts reveal but i hope you enjoy this little blurb!

Very little brought Invincible to surrender, on his knees begging for mercy or any sort of reprise for that matter. Except you. Beautiful, perfect you.

Tonight was date night, the day clear, Cecil ignoring you two— the whole nine yards. For once Mark made an effort; booking a table at the most beautiful restaurant, requesting you to wear a nice dress. Never one to disappoint, you dressed in a strapless bodycon gown, the blue highlighting your skin so beautifully— pairing the fabric with white heels.

The night was wonderful, coupled withlooks full of adoration and gentle hand grabs across the table. Mark made a promise to bring you here once again, even if it meant getting on Cecil’s bad side— a thought that caused you to giggle in the moment. Far too quickly it ended, the two of you heading home, ready to call it a night with some cuddling.

Only, that wasn’t on Mark’s mind at all. You were, every part of you. He asked you to dress pretty but he didn’t expect for you to look like this. He couldn’t count on a single hand how many times he restrained himself at the table— growing far too jealous of that spoon you kept wrapping your lips around.

So with the two of you being home, you asking so sweetly to help with your shoes; Mark saw his opportunity. He started at your shoes, gently undoing the straps and buckles, chuckling a little at your complaining.. only for his hands to rise, drifting up your thighs, pushing fabric to find more skin.

Soon enough his fingers were finding the thin strap of your thong, curling a digit around to push the underwear to the side. With zero restraint and way too much enthusiasm, the man dug his knees fully into the bedroom floor, pushing forward to press his lips against your center.

Gentle kisses, ones to hear you gasp as the feeling slowly enveloped your body. His hands smoothed up and down your legs, murmuring soft words right into your wetting sex, a mix of babbled i love yous and praises.

His tongue glided from his mouth, tickling your folds before parting them to find the bud nestled between. Darting the thick muscle up and down, round and round; fingers gripping at your plush flesh the moment you twitched. You stepped back, finding the wall for to lean against— Mark wasting no time in following you. Knees sliding across the floor, groans being muttered right into your pussy; his obsession, his yearning for you as clear as day— not a sense of shame in his body.

“Mark..” You whispered softly, hand falling to collect his hair, the wispy tresses passing through the gaps of your fingers. You trembled, eyelids falling over as his gentle yet expert tongue ran you completely wild. Of course Mark Grayson would use such an opportunity for his own selfish — was it really his? — gain. You wanted to mock him, state in full detail how much of a little pervert he was. But that would have to wait. For later, not when he had you wrapped around his little finger.

A swear dropped from your lips, gripping his hair tightly, eyebrows furrowing the moment the man drew even closer. His desperation was clear, feeling his fingers claw at your plush body, the muffled moans vibrating you each time they crawled from his throat. You couldn’t help the way you trembled as that familiar feeling drew closer, how your pussy clenched, and little button throbbed as the pleasure dragged on.

That simple thought had you moving, tugging the man away from you in one swift motion. Mark tried to fight it, attempting to push closer but you were so resilient and the man wasn’t one to stop you anyway.

Your eyes fell over his features, devouring the sight before you. His hair a mess, face slick with you and saliva, cheeks a flushed red, tie partially undone— you could come off this image alone, burning it deep into your memory.

“Why’d y—“

“I thought I… taught you patience.” You struggled to get the words out, fingers falling to press against his forehead the moment you noticed his eyes switch back between your legs. You couldn’t help but shiver at the little annoyed expression he wore, or how those once gentle hands were clenching just a bit more. “Couldn’t even let me fully undress, huh?”

“Not with how you looked the entire evening.” Mark spoke without missing a beat, glossed lips curling into the littlest simper. Coaxing hands soon treaded up and down your legs, looking up at you far too lovingly. “C’mon baby, don’t stop me.. I wanna taste you.”

“Was that not enough?”

Mark began to grumble, bordering on whining. His knees ached, his neck wasn’t at the best angle but there was no way in hell he was stopping now. Not a chance. “Fuck.. baby, please— let me finish, please..” He’s begging, lips pushing into the cutest little pout that has you keening internally. You felt that playful resistance waning the moment his lips peppered your heated skin, mumbling more soft sentences;

Please baby, please.

Need it so bad, you don’t know how much I struggled at dinner.

I know you want it just as much, [Name].. fuck.

Mark was saying all the right words, hitting every little spot in your mind. You slowly lifted your hand away from him, gasping the moment you felt Mark practically rush back to his previous position; lips wrapping around your pretty clit, sucking and licking it raw.

You whimpered softly, hips moving as the pleasure trailed back up your spine. You felt your body starting up again, shaking and shivering, clenching his hair so tightly you worried you would tear a few pieces out. Your free hand twitched against the cool wall behind you, pressing against it to hold yourself up.

The man wasn’t lying when he said he needed it, needed you; shown in his relentless actions. His tongue sliding across your sticky folds once in a while, poking at your withering hole, only to travel right back to your button to suck and lap at. His moans were even worse then before, wet declarations of pure enjoyment; unable to help himself entirely.

Soon enough you were building up again, your arousal trickling down your thighs, surely making a mess of your previously discarded panties and his pretty face. With a sudden rather powerful suck your knees were buckling, a moan thrumming through your throat quickly.

Mark wasted no time, hands sliding underneath your legs to lift you up easily, rising to his own as if you weighed nothing. His lips never stopped its rhythm, maybe even intensifying as his excitement shined through. His fingers caressed, pressing you up against the wall so you wouldn’t even think of escaping.

As his name fell from your lips the man couldn’t help but groan back, eyes flickering open to land onto your face. Your eyebrows were creased, lips quivering, and hands holding onto him for dear life. He couldn’t help the downright pussy drunk chuckle that vibrated right into you, his hold tightening.

“So fucking perfect… how’d I get so lucky..?” Mark mumbled to himself, a sweet little mantra that had stars invading your already blurry vision. Your stomach clenched, kneeling forward as your body shook against the wall, only able to cling to the man, letting him do what wanted completely.

All too quickly you were coming undone, arching as your legs wrapped around his neck tightly, Mark pressing against your thighs as if wanting you to squeeze him more. Moments of gentle licks passed, the man sucking up every drop of your arousal as if it was the sweetest nectar one could drink. His thumbs glided across your skin, soothing your withering body, helping you down your high slowly.

When fully satisfied Mark pulled away, gently sliding you down the wall to guide your legs around his waist. His arms snaked around your own, pushing close to stamp a wet kiss against your neck.

“When will you wear this dress again?” The man murmured into your skin, smiling a bit at the little giggle that escaped you. He shivered as your hands dragged up his arms, gliding to his hair to simply rake against his scalp.

“I don’t know.. will you let me actually take it off to wash?”

[slutofpsh]

strip for me.

part six | pjs.

pairings: hyungline x reader

synopsis: hyung line got you trapped in a situation that you can’t get away from.

wc: 8k.

warnings: smut, minors dni, fivesome, bullying (not promoting violence or bullying), degrading, raw sex (please use protection), dirty talks, curses, masturbation, hyung line being mean. having small sips of champagne. this is not proof read.

note: finally finished jay’s solo part. i really enjoyed writing this one as he is really my comfort person in this group. he just strikes me as someone very reliable. also get well soon, our jay! jake’s part will be the next one. i’ll probably need more time for that part since he’s a very hyper member (i mean it in a very affectionate way). anyway, as usual reblogs and replies are highly encouraged. i really appreciate all of your nice feedbacks!

part one; two; three; four; five

slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.

“y/n, please pick up that dress i ordered for you later.” your head whips to look over your shoulder.

a small smile spreads across your face before nodding once, “okay, mom! see you later.” and you leans in to give her a kiss on her cheeks.

as you head outside, you couldn’t help but to feel excited. nerves wrecking and mind wondering of how this day will go. it was two days after your ‘date’ with one of your boyfriends, lee heeseung. and now, its park jongseong.

speaking of, he’s already outside. his red chevy camero parked while he’s leaning on it. patiently waiting for you. his eyes brightens the moment you walked out from the door.

“good morning!” he smiles bigger as he watch how cute your way of walking towards him.

“good morning, baby.” he greets softly and naturally sliding his arms over your waist, tugging you closer.

“were you waiting for long?” you asks a little bit worried.

jay’s eyes are so focused on you, gently watching you carefully. he shakes his head with a soft smile.

“nah.” he says.

only, he was there waiting for over an hour. he wasn’t going to tell you that, knowing so well that it would make you feel bad. he doesn’t want that.

after staring at each other for a while, he guided you over his car, opening the door for you. it was such a sweet gesture that you’re kind of getting used to. the boys always does it for you these days.

“jake’s texting me.” you informed with a bright smile while tapping on your phone to reply.

jay smirks, arms flexing as he manoeuvred the steering wheel. “is he still sulky about yesterday?” he asks that made you giggle a bit.

yesterday, the five of you went to eat dinner at heeseung’s favourite restaurant. it was a very fun time. you spent it just talking about random things, the boys basically exposing their embarrassing past memories to you that made you feel even much closer to them.

in the end, after the dinner someone has to drive you home and they just started to bicker with each other. it slightly stressed you out why they’re making it such a big deal. the banters lasts until you came up with the idea of settling it through rock paper and scissors. you’re laughing the whole duration that they’re playing.

jay won and jake, as always, is sulky. saying that he gets to pick you up today and should automatically be disqualified on driving you home last night.

“a little.” and you made sure you decorate your message with heart emojis just so he wouldn’t be so upset about last night.

he snorted, “he’s so immature.”

you giggled, can’t help but to inwardly agrees. tho, you must also admit that you love this side of jake sim. he’s just so adorable.

“so what’s the plan later?”

the original plan was to not ask anything about the date with jay that you’ve been looking forward to. but you just can’t help yourself.

the date with heeseung just improves so much with your relationship with him and just drawn you both closer. to the point that you don’t feel that nervous around him anymore. you can hold a staring contest for more than 15 seconds now (before it only last for 5 seconds).

jay smiles, knowing that you feel excited to your date just makes his heart jump in joy. since they did talked about how to make it up to you, jay gave deep thoughts about it. he’s very determined about giving his best—if not his all, just to make you feel how he feels towards you.

“its a secret.” and he grins that made you pout.

he glanced and chuckles at how adorable you look. he gently pinches your chin then put his focus back on the road. it was a chill ride and he was so entertaining to talk to. jay’s the type of person who knows alot of things and so you’re learning while chatting with him.

as his car drives over the parking lot, familiar vehicles in the same spot can be seen by you. they’re busy goofing around, but once sunghoon spots jay’s familiar vehicle, he pushed himself off his motorcycle.

jake’s head whips in flash and a big smile automatically spreads across his face. heeseung’s just have a small smile over his lips while leaning over his car, watching carefully. you chuckled, never really getting tired of this scene.

you rolled down the window even before jay can finish parking to wave at the three boys. jake instantly waves back, full of energy.

“sweets!” he greets and even rushed over to your side like an excited puppy.

“calm down, dude! you’ll get drag by my car.” jay hissed while still trying his best to focus on parking.

once rest assured that its safe to open the car’s door, jake didn’t waste any time and bursted it open. jay just rolls his eyes before unclasping your seatbelt for you.

sunghoon smirks while opening the backseat to get your things for you while you’re busy greeting his friends. heeseung trudges closer and almost pushed jake’s clingy ass off.

“hey, angel.” he softly greets then caged you in a tight, warm embrace. he drops a kiss on top of your head then leans his cheeks on it.

“hi, hee.” you says while face pressed on his chest, inhaling his manly scent that you’re slowly getting addicted to.

“jay hits the jackpot, eh? he drove you home last night and then he gets to pick you up today.” he mumbled so lowly, like as if he doesn’t want his friends to hear him sulking.

you chuckled, “that’s fine.” and caress his back carefully.

he smiles, enjoying your warmth. he gave you one last squeeze before leaning away to give you a peck on the lips.

once heeseung’s body moves away from you, sunghoon approaches. his eyes darted at you. he looked so good even in the morning. you gulped, admiring him.

“hi, pretty.” he whispers as he tugs your body closer to his.

pretty? he’s the pretty one for your eyes. the way his black hair compliments his pale skin, thick brows and eyelashes around his pretty eyes, pointy nose with a mole, and natural red lips. kissable lips that you get to kiss whenever you like.

“hi, hoonie.” you mumble affectionately that tugs sunghoon’s heart strings.

there’s really something with the way you say his name. he will never get tired of it. he should really record it and put it as his alarm. or use it whenever he’s losing his cool. it could put into a good use. maybe when he’s masturbating too? he smirks inwardly.

he leans in for his kiss with a playful evil grin on his handsome face. you return his kiss without any clue of the dirty things that occupies his mind.

“its really so unfair that you’d get to drive her home last night and you picked her up today.” jake’s still sulky while you walk over to the class.

as usual, heeseung and sunghoon’s in front towering the three of you. jay and jake’s beside you chatting and bickering from time to time.

“sweets do you like (favorite food)?” jake asks once you’ve settled on your seat.

despite the random question, you gave him a nod. his face brightens like it was such a big relief. jay drags one chair to sit next to you while heeseung went in front to check the workbooks that needed to be submitted. sunghoon went to his seat and laid his head after he placed your things beside you.

“what do you plan on your date?” jay asked his friend who quickly knew that he’s asking these questions because of his plan.

jake’s face looked defensive, “that’s none of your business! don’t copy me.” he hissed at his friend.

that made you laugh and jay only frowned at him. “i already planned our day. i don’t need your lame ideas.” he fired back.

jake cocked one of his brow at his friend, “lame? you’re lame!” and even playfully swat his arm then tries to escape after sending you a flying kiss.

you laughed hard at jake’s cuteness and how they bicker around. jay was left beside you as he flips his friend who just showed him his tongue from his seat.

“he’s so immature.” he complains while shaking his head.

you watch him with a smile, admiring how he’s so patient around his friends. jay is very matured. he rarely shows emotions or big reactions that makes him almost a nonchalant person. but lately, you’ve noticed how he tries to change that towards you.

you can clearly see he’s not that comfortable showing his true emotions. making you feel worried how he’s very cautious about letting people know his fears or weaknesses. he has a strong persona. some people even think he doesn’t have any weak side.

“he’s being cute.” and you reaches over his arm to caress it, a way of saying he’s being so nice.

jay’s eyes drops over your hand and smiles before grabbing it to kiss it once.

“nah, he’s just being annoying.”

you chuckled, “anyway, i have to pick up a dress later. is that okay?” you remembered your mom’s reminders before you stepped out from your house.

jay nods without hesitation. “yeah, sure. we can go pick it up later before we head to my condo.” he says.

you nods and tilts your head. “so we’ll date at your condo?” you ask with curiousity.

jay licks his lips, feeling a little nervous that you may actually find it boring or unclassy. his hyung just took you to their vacation house.

“y-yeah,” then he clears his throat. “is that okay with you?”

your eyes stares at his and nodded without hesitation. no sign of disappointment or anything. just genuine curiosity and a hint of excitement. he always knew you aren’t judgemental, but it still surprises him sometimes.

“what will we do at your place?” you tried your luck of harvesting information.

he smirks, caught on right away. he pinches your cheeks once before standing up to go to his proper seat.

“nice try, baby.” then he drops a quick kiss on top of your head.

a pout made its way to your lips while watching his broad back leaving. you’re totally curious, just like how it was when its your date with heeseung. you smile inwardly then shrugs shoulder before fishing the textbook you’ll be needing for the class.

guess you just need to leave it up to him. besides, you bet you’ll enjoy the day.

the class started once the teacher steps inside the room. naturally, you’re focus falls completely on to the lessons. lately, you find yourself enjoying class even more. maybe because you don’t feel alone anymore. tho, back then they’re really there for you. but their affection truly gave a bigger impact of comfort.

two periods passes like a blur and you’re stretching your arms when jay calls your attention.

“hey.” he says as he leans over, placing one of his hand on your table then the other at the back of your chair, trapping you.

the position itself was enough to send butterflies go crazy inside your stomach. he smiles then stares hardly on your eyes.

“y-yeah?”

“can you help me take those workbooks at the student council office?” he asks casually then pointed at the teacher’s table using his chin.

you glanced at it once then agreed with no hesitation. he nods then started heading towards the table. you followed afterwards. some of your classmates are starting to goof around as it was your vacant period.

“you can carry that.” he’s referring to the fewer stacks of workbooks. it sure does not compare to what he would carry.

“that’s too many. i can handle more than this.” you said, worried that he will have a hard time carrying those.

he shakes his head, declining.

“i can handle this, baby. besides, its just an alibi.” he smugly chuckle before tilting his head, asking you to follow him outside.

your stomach churns after realizing that he didn’t asked for your help because he needs it. its for other reason.

before heading outside, your eyes automatically scanned the room for the other three boys. their eyes are already darted at your direction, like as if they’ve been watching you ever since you stood up.

jake has a pout on his lips. sunghoon’s eyes are piercing as always, but he smirks once met eyes with you. he even made a playful kiss gesture before winking that made you blush. heeseung’s just watching using his soft gaze, only available for you.

“baby.” jay softly calls out.

that snapped you back in your senses then continued following him. on the way to the office, jay initiated conversation that made you feel at ease. not that you’re uncomfy around him, its just knowing that he’s planning to do something at the office makes you feel things.

the scenario at the library with heeseung flashes back to your mind, making you flustered and wet at the same time. your heart thumped in so much anticipation. a little bit scared... but more on excited.

“after you.” he smiles gently while prompting you to walk inside before him. his gentlemen gesture made you blush so hard, unable to even utter a simple thanks.

the whole office is as expected, vacant. jay walks pass you after locking the door behind him. he glanced at you while you silently roam your eyes around. the look on your face made jay smirk a little. it reflects a kitten scared for her life. very cute.

“you can place that here.” he says and puts the workbooks he was holding at the table.

you nodded then trudges towards him to place it near his stacks. his eyes carefully follows your every movement and you can feel his burning eyes, making you feel more nervous.

“are you nervous?” jay reaches for your hand then caress it. his eyes stays at you.

a pout made its way to your lips, “a little.” you admit that made his grin grew wider.

“yeah? why is that?” he asks teasingly then tugs your body close to his.

your brows furrowed and lips pursed, “because of you.”

jay’s very satisfied to hear that from you. the fact that you look very adorable and that he’s the reason of it makes his head go fuzzy. his heart aches in so much delight. he wraps his arms around your body and lets you rest your head on his chest, him nuzzling you close.

“you don’t have to feel nervous.” he says and gulped. its making him even more excited.

“i will always feel nervous around you.”

“is that suppose to be a good thing?” he chuckles.

your arms slides over his waist, “yeah.” a heavy sigh escapes from your lips before you continued. “i feel safe with you, but you can also make me feel nervous.” you admits then slowly pulls off from his warm hug.

he lets you, but kept his hand on the small of your back. his eyes darted at you.

“its because you look so handsome all the time.” you complimented him. well, its true. all of them are incredibly good looking, its just out of all those four boys, jay seems to be the one who needs to hear it the most.

you’ve noticed how he never flaunt how handsome he is and you remembered that one time where jake said that he rarely take photos as he doesn’t like seeing his face. that’s actually the most non-sense you’ve heard that time. how can he not like seeing that kind of face?

you figured you need to do extra effort on complimenting jay, try to help him realize how beautiful he is for your eyes— and probably to almost everybody around.

“baby...” jay’s out of words. you totally caught him off-guard and you’re happy about it. feeling proud even.

“what? i’m just stating a fact.” with a small smile on your pretty face.

jay’s heart strings tugs. he knew he likes every bits of you, but its still amazing how you manage to still make him feel things like this. at some point he thinks that you have some sort of magic spell and they’re all under it. he’s not complaining tho.

he leans in for a very soft kiss. you’ve felt every emotions he’s having at the moment.

when he pulls away, your eyes looked hazy and lips a little more red after the kiss. he smirks then caress your cheeks carefully. the two of you stares at each other’s eyes for a while before he talked again.

“take off your panties and sit down on the sofa.” he instructs that made your heart thump and stomach churn.

he didn’t have to even repeat himself. he guides you and you obeyed without any complain. the very familiar sofa causes so much memories to flashback and you just can’t help but to blush.

he made you sat down and just like he requested, you reached for your underwear and slides it off. he watches carefully while positioning himself in front, his eyes totally fixed at it. he licks his lips, almost salivating at the view.

“i want to taste your sweetness.” he mumbles after you manage to take your panties off.

he naturally placed both of his hands on your thighs and spread it open for him. the sight of your wet core made him even more thirstier. he can’t remember anything that can make him arouse like how the way you do it.

his eyes shifts at you and leans forward for a quick kiss. after liplocking for a few seconds, he pulls away then dips his head to start eating you out.

first lick on your slit and you’re already a whole mess. gasping lightly, your one hand flew over to your mouth trying not to make so much noise.

“damn, that’s good.” jay mumbles and then started eating you out. his lips attached to your core. he’s licking, sucking it. making sure he left no part of it that his tongue touched. he’s so addicted.

he looks at you over his eyelashes and his heart felt proud seeing you eyes tight shut, lip caught in between your teeth and head pans left and right.

“look at me, baby.” he says shortly that made you pry your eyes open. it was a bit hard as the pleasure’s keeping you from doing it easily.

“watch while i eat you out so good.” he added before diving in to eat you so hard like it was his last meal in his life.

feeling his tongue and lips attached at your core felt so good, having to watch as he does it makes you go crazy. it was a sight to see and the pleasure he gives just adds to the intensity of the situation.

“oh jay...” you moaned that he answered with a hum, the vibration it made threw your head back. your eyes slightly rolled at the back of your head. he taps your thighs, indicating that he wants your eyes back at him and so you obliged.

jay saw how hard your teeth are sunk into your beautiful lips and the way you clenched hardly around his tongue indicates that you are close to release his long awaited sweet juice. he raised one of his hand then slides two fingers with no warning. it made you jolt and moan in pleasure.

“are you close, baby?” he asks so softly. contradicting to his tone is his evil sexy smirk while watching carefully how your face contorts.

you nodded eagerly that made him chuckle, “give it to me then.” he says as he rut his fingers inside you in a faster pace.

“ugh,” you whimpered and watch how he laid his tongue near your hole, making sure it touches perfectly so he can catch every bit of your release.

the sight was enough for you to cum. it was so sensual and jay looked so hot doing it. jay continued to fuck you with his fingers despite after cumming and shaking a bit because of it.

“j-jay...” you moaned and shut your eyes close, unable to handle the pleasure and being stimulated by it.

he teared his gaze off from you and focused on your pulsating pussy. he pulled his fingers off then licks it off clean before attaching his lips on your hole to suck all those juices off.

“oh my gosh..” you moaned, back arching a little and eyes cracking open in surprise. the feeling was undescribably good.

jay’s wiping off some remnance on the corner of his lips before he smiles lovingly at you. he loves your fucked out state, still in trance of how good he just made you feel. he gently grabs your hand and caress it before taking it to his lips, kissing it affectionately.

“was that good?” he asked even though your face was enough to let him know that you indeed enjoyed every bit of it.

a nod is all you could give him as you’re still high from your climax. he chuckles and kissed your inner thigh once before standing up to collect some tissues to clean you.

“glad to make up from the last time.” he mumbled, referring to when he refused you the release you’ve been anticipating. back when he’s still punishing you.

a small smile and a light chuckle escapes your lips, “that was worth it.” you commented that earned a wide grin from the handsome boy now leaning down to start cleaning his girlfriend’s sweet pussy.

“jay is really my most hated person at the moment.” jake commented as he walks beside you over the parking lot.

the two of you are hand in hand while the three other boys are behind, talking about this topic you couldn’t even relate to. jake’s not that sulky anymore, but his jealous ass can’t help but to be upset over his friend.

you caress his warm hands wrapped on yours, “oh come on, i know you love him.” the teasing smile on your face made jake giddy inside. he can’t explain how happy he is now that you’ve grown closer to all of them. comfortable enough to tease him like this.

he smirks, leaning his face closer. “not as much as i love you, sweets.” and with no warning he attached his lips on yours.

the kiss made your heart leap. after a couple of seconds he pulls away with a smile.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” he lifts his other hand to pinch your cheeks lightly as you nod your head.

“take care of her, jay.” jake says with a playful glare on his face.

sunghoon’s smirking as he silently approach you to give you a kiss on your lips. he mumbled a short good bye before placing your things on jay’s car.

“you don’t even have to remind me.” jay snobbishly says at his friend.

heeseung shakes his head, a bit fed up to their banters. his eyes shifts to you and they soften instantly. he smiles before leaning to kiss you on your forehead then to your lips.

“i love you,” he mumbles then rests his forehead on yours. “have fun tonight for me.”

you nodded, cheeks blushing hard. “i love you too, hee.”

his heart beats in content and leans away. he gave jay a clap on his shoulder before waving to go approach his own car.

jake’s still there, shooting glares to his friend. jay snorted as he slid his arms over your waist.

“dude why can’t you just be normal like heeseung hyung and sunghoon? they just bid good bye and left.” jay commented.

jake rolls his eyes then focuses back on you.

“i love you, sweets. text me whenever you have time or if you got bored with jay.” he jokes, tho he knew you wouldn’t feel that way. his friend is not a boring person and he knew you’ll have a great time with him. its just his way of teasing him.

you chuckled, finding it totally funny. jay swats his friend’s arm.

“you’re so clingy!”

jake just stuck his tongue out before finally walking off. jay sighs and faced you, “he’s so annoying.”

he then opened the car’s door for you.

“he won’t be jake if he don’t tease you guys.” you stated before getting in his car. he carefully secured your spot before he smiles.

“you’re right.” then he closes your door to go around and ride the driver’s seat.

“where’s the store again, baby?” he asks while buckling his seatbelt.

you quickly pulls your phone to check your mom’s message. she texted you about the dress she’s saying a while ago. you told him the name and location of the store. he nods his head and started driving right away.

he lets you connect to the bluetooth of the car for music. a subtle music plays while both of you talks to each other. it was such a chill ride, laughing and teasing each other.

as you arrive at the store, jay parked perfectly and went out to open the door for you. he placed his hand at the small of your back while guiding you inside.

“hi, welcome!” the lady by the counter greets you with a big smile.

“hello, i’m here to pick up a dress.” you gave her the slip that your mom gave you to claim it.

she nods and even ask you to wait. you glanced over jay whose roaming his eyes around the store filled with beautiful dresses. you smiled and leans closer to his body. you felt his hand caress your back as he rest his head on yours.

“what’s the dress for?” he asks.

you pursed your lips at his question, “its for her friend’s birthday party. she’s taking me with her.” then pulls away to look at him.

he stares at your eyes then smiles, “hmm. okay.” and kisses your nose gently.

your heads whipped at the lady when she finally got the dress. it was on your favorite color and looked so cute.

“do you want to try it so we’ll know if the adjustments are perfect?”

“can i?” you asked jay.

he nods without hesitation. “yeah, definitely.”

you nodded and one of the staff guided you inside their hallway where their stalls are located. jay said he’ll be perfectly fine so you don’t have to worry and take your time.

the dress looked good on you. the color compliments you perfectly and the style just fits you. you can’t help but to thank your mom for understanding your style.

“is it good?” the lady at the entrance of the fitting room smiles warmly, admiring how good you look.

you nodded your head, pleased. “yes, thank you so much. its perfect.”

a big satisfied smile spread across her face. “glad you liked it.”

she left you to change back to your original clothes and after that you went to the counter to sign something. she handed you the paper bag and thanked you as you head outside.

jay’s by his car, leaning attractively. you noticed some people craning their necks just to look at the handsome boy. it boost something in you while watching him staring at you with a warm smile. to have all his attention focused on you despite some eyes fixated on him.

“all done, baby?” he asks and hand already reaching for your waist as you approach him.

you nodded and even raised the paperbag.

he smirks then kisses your cheeks as he grab the paperbag from you.

“i have something for you.” he stated that made you look at him with full curiosity.

“what is it?”

he opens the backseat and placed your paperbag inside then he pulls out a beautiful bouquet of flowers. your lips gaps at the sight of it.

“w-what...” you gulped then accept it from him.

“you liked it?” and arms wrapped around your waist once again.

“yes.” and pouts. “what’s it for?”

he tilts his head with a slight furrowed brows. “do i need a reason to give flowers to my beautiful girlfriend?”

that made you blush hard. stomach turning and heart thumping fast, reacting for jay. it was like an automatic response already. to even think that he tugs your heartstrings like how heeseung does is unbelievable.

“thank you so much.” you mumbles cutely that made jay melt.

“anything for you.” and he placed a gentle kiss at your forehead.

the whole ride to his condo unit, you got your eyes fixated at your flowers. he can’t help but to feel proud of it. if this is how you’ll react every time you receive flowers then he will gladly give you all the flowers in the world.

after a few minutes, you noticed that you’re driving inside a very expensive and private condo building. the security itself is tight, but once the guards saw jay’s familiar car they let him through easily.

your mouth gaps while looking around the tall fancy buildings.

“you live here?” you couldn’t help but ask.

he chuckles finding you adorable. “yeah.” he casually said.

you knew that the boys are wealthy. mainly why you’re aware that they get away from their troubles too easily.

“all alone?” your question caught him slightly off-guard.

heeseung lives with his parents and older brother. you’ve been in their house a couple of times. tho you didn’t meet his parents yet, you remembered him mentioning that he lives with him.

jake also lives with his parents. you’ve been in his house once. you met his mom and she’s very sweet.

sunghoon’s house is the nearest to the school. around an expensive private neighborhood. you’ve heard rumors about their million dollar mansion.

“yeah.” jay says. he doesn’t seem sad about it, but you can’t help but to be worried by thinking that he’s alone here.

jay glanced at you and chuckles when he saw how you look at him with so much worry.

“its fine, baby. my mom got that condo for me since our main house is far from the city. she doesn’t want me driving that long all the time.” he comforts you, reaching his hand on you to caress your thighs for consoling.

“don’t you feel lonely?” you ask, still worried.

he shakes his head right away to assure you. he’s also not lying about it. he doesn’t feel lonely at all and he actually like living independently.

“besides, heeseung hyung have a unit at the same floor as mine. he sleeps their from time to time.” he assures you.

“okay.” and finally smiles.

he chuckles, “you can come visit me too, you know?” with a smirk.

that made you blush, but you try to conceal it with playful glares shooting right at him.

“are you kidding? the security is so tight. i doubt i’ll manage to go through it.”

he scoffs, “i’ll let them know that you’re my girlfriend.” he winks that made you roll your eyes.

“you’re so cute.” he commented and finally started parking his car.

after he manages to park, he went out of the car as you patiently wait for him to open the door. he grabs some of your things at the backseat using one of his hand. the other reaches for yours and the two of you walks over the elevator hand in hand.

jay’s condo unit looks so cozy. just by one look you can already tell he picked all the things. it screams so much like him, fits him perfectly.

“make yourself feel at home, baby.” he says.

you slowly walked over the big glass wall to look at the beautiful view in front. the city looks incredibly relaxing. all the cars driving and people walking that looked like toys from the height of his condo unit is amusing.

“hey,” he approaches and caged you in a back hug.

your hand rests at his arms wrapped around you.

“go to my room and change into this.” and he pulls away to hand you a paper bag that has a logo of a very expensive brand.

“what...”

he smiles, “i’ll cook for us then we’ll have dinner at my balcony. sounds good?”

your eyes stares at him and you can’t help but to feel so overwhelmed at how romantic this man is. you nodded your head and accept the paperbag with a clouded mind.

he smirks, “great.” then placed a kiss on your head.

“take your time getting ready. i also asked someone to buy some make up products for you.” he raised a hand and scratch the back of his head, looking a bit shy.

“i’m n-not sure if you use those brands, but—” you threw yourself at him for a tight hug to let him know how much you appreciate his efforts for this.

“thank you so much, jay.”

he melts into your hug and returns it. “no problem, baby.”

you two stayed like that for a few more seconds before you headed to his room and he went to the kitchen to start preparing for the dinner. your heart felt so full just by hearing that he will cook for you.

jay’s really sweet. he got you flowers and this dress. also the make up. you can’t believe he will be this considerate.

his room looks neat. a few guitars displayed at the corner. some liquor bottles at a cabinet. a few pictures that you checked. one with his parents and another one with his friends. they’re all smiling so wide at the picture.

another picture is also the four of them, but it was a younger version of them. they all looked adorable and despite knowing that they have a strong bond, you can’t help but to notice how obvious the difference between their personalities.

heeseung have this small smile, hair fixed perfectly. jake’s smiling so widely and even holds a peace sign by one of his hand. sunghoon’s not smiling at the camera and have one of his eyebrows raised. he looked so snobby. jay have this warm smile that indicates how happy he is while having his friends beside him.

you heard out of all the four, he’s the only one who doesn’t have a sibling. a part of you felt sad for it, because you knew it yourself. you know how it feels having no one to play with and talk to. yes, you have your mom but there are things you cannot share with her. sometimes, you wished you have a sibling.

thankfully jay found it with his friends. a smile spreads on your face while caressing the picture of them using your thumb.

you spent almost two hours preparing for this dinner. a few moments after, you heard a faint knock at jay’s door.

“come in.” you mumbled and soon the door creaks open, revealing jay.

your mouth gaps at how good he looks. he’s wearing this semi formal outfit just to fit the vibe of your dress.

“wow.” he mumbles, eyes fixed at you. his eyes flickers with so much adoration. he always think you are pretty and when he saw that dress, he already know it will look good on you. but now that you’re wearing it, its a different thing.

he walks closer towards you with careful steps. taking time to appreciate how gorgeous you are. it made you blush and makes your heart warm. jay just never fails to make you feel like you’re the prettiest person alive.

“you look breath-taking.” he sincerely said and rests both of his hands on your hips, fingers slightly digging on the skin. he can’t help but to get excited about it.

you giggled and wrapped your arms over his nape. “you look so good too.”

he smiles and leans in for a gentle kiss on your cheeks. “but not as good as you.”

after both of you got satisfied on admiring each other, jay guided you outside the room. he blindfolds your eyes saying he wanted to surprise you with the set up he made himself.

its not very grand, (it is) but still he made effort. regardless, you’re sure you will love it. just how he prepares everything, you’re already more than thankful.

“oh my gosh...” both of your hands flew in your mouth in amusement.

a trail of red roses are made towards his balcondy where a simple yet elegant table was set up for your date. it was perfect.

he laid his hand in front of you with a handsome smile. satisfied with how you reacted. he was thrilled, almost a little nervous, as to how you will take this dinner thing. thankfully, you looked happy about it. with slight tears of joy brimming your eyes, he knew he did a good job.

the two of you walks towards the dinner table and he even pulled a chair for you.

“thank you.” you can’t stop smiling as he sat in front then takes care of you.

he told you the dishes he prepared for tonight and the pure amusement in your eyes didn’t slip off from jay’s eyes.

“you cooked this?” amazed at how it looked like something that will be served at a five star restaurant.

he nods his head, very proud. he tilts his head and asked you to take a bite. just how the meat melts in your mouth is perfect. you aren’t even exaggerating, but it taste so good.

“its perfect, jay! you’re such a good cook!” you exclaimed that made jay smile even bigger. his palm rests on top of chest.

“i’m glad you liked it baby.”

he pours you a glass of champagne. “are we even allowed to...?” your words halts referring to the alcohol when you’re just on your senior highschool.

he laughs, “its fine. just a glass of it won’t hurt.” he assures you.

you nodded, a little excited about it. he saw that and chuckles.

“but make sure not to drink too much baby. i don’t want to take you home drunk. i will be on your mom’s bad side. we don’t want that, do we?”

you laughed lightly and nodded.

the night went on with just the two of you talking about random stuff. he will ask you things he was curious of you and you’ll do the same thing. as the conversation went on and on, you find yourself feeling more comfortable around jay.

“when did you start liking me, jay?” you suddenly asked after remembering heeseung sharing this cute information as to how it all started for him.

somehow it made you curious for the other boy’s version.

jay’s not caught off-guard about it. well, maybe a little but not too much. he sighs and eyes dropped at his almost finished meal. he tilts his head, one hand plays through his wine glass.

“honestly, i was actually a little annoyed at you before.” he revealed with a chuckle.

you instantly got your brows furrowed at this new acquired information.

“what? why?” curious.

he laughs, finding it funny. finding his old self funny for it.

“because of how down bad you got my friends on you.” he started. he stops for a while then let out a sigh.

“i was the last one to discover these feelings for you. i guess its safe to say i was the most denial.” he clicks his tongue. “like i said, i’m kind of annoyed at you.”

your lips pursed, listening attentively.

“i transferred to our school when we’re on nineth grade, remember?” he says and you nodded your head.

jay doesn’t go to your current school before. since his home is far from here, he used to attend somewhere near his house. but he transferred because he wanted to be with his friends. you still remember clearly how the girls in your class went crazy for the new guy, park jongseong.

he was the talk of the whole campus for weeks. saying how perfect he is and how his group of friends are just a bunch of visuals. well, you couldn’t disagree with that.

“even before i can move here, they’re already been talking about this girl nonstop.” he started again then eyes focused on you. “they talk about you like you’re the only girl in the campus.”

your heart thumped faster at what he said.

“i was annoyed because at some point, they don’t give enough attention to my transfer to the school. all they can tell me is how amazing you are.” he chuckles. “out of curiosity and also irritation, i started to watch you from a far just like them. i was convincing myself that i will find something that can make my friends realize that you aren’t that special.” he couldn’t help but to smirk.

“but i just found myself drawn towards you. suddenly i’m not watching you for the main reason i started it. suddenly its because i was caught up, and just like them i fell...” his hand reached over and fingers plays carefully with yours. “and fell continuously until i cannot rise from this feelings anymore.”

your eyes softens and fingers hold his tightly.

“instead of finding reasons for them to unlike you, i found the reasons why they like you so much, baby.”

you pout and eyes watered with so much affection. heart felt so full because of the things he just said. you can’t believe it. jay, despite being the one whose been a little more nicer out of all of them, still felt distant before. his nonchalant demeanour made you think he don’t like you as much as the others. turns out you’re wrong.

“i love you, baby.”

you sniffs and stood up from your chair to approach him. he moves his chair back a little to give you space and let you sit at his lap comfortably.

you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face on the side of his face.

“i love you.” you mumble so gently that knocks out the air out of jay’s heart.

to hear those words straight out from your mouth has a different effect on him. he was at awe for a moment before he finally pulls himself back to his senses. he made you face him and cupped your face affectionately.

“you’re very special to me, y/n. i may not be as expressive as the others as i am afraid to show my vulnerability, but please always remember that i am so soft for you. you are my soft spot.” he said while staring right into your eyes.

“please never forget that.”

you caress his cheeks, “i know how strong of a person you are, jay. but always know that showing weakness doesn’t mean you are not strong. you are a human after all. for me, you’re a very wonderful person.” and with that he leans in for a heated kiss.

his kisses are intense and so is how his hand rests on your face. your eyes shut and just enjoys this moment with jay, hand rests over his shoulder. his open mouthed kiss moves from your lips to your chin, then down to your neck.

“jay..” you moaned.

“i want to fuck you here.” he mumbles that instantly sent your mind afar. you are loss and too caught up in the moment that you barely give a care if his balcony is wide open and free for people to see.

“please...” you mumble that made jay go crazy.

“stand up and lean on the railings.” he instructed that you obliged right away.

your breaths are heavy while you wait full anticipation for jay to get in touch with you once again. the view beneath his balcony is very pretty and honestly add to the feels. you’re too turned on and the arousal is already poisining your right mind to think about anything but jay’s dick.

not long after, his toned chest are pressed on your back. he dips his head and kisses your exposed shoulder blades towards your neck.

“you’re so beautiful.” he compliments as one of his hand rummages to pull your dress up so he can fuck you from the back. “so damn beautiful.” he added then slides your panties to the side.

he has his zipper open and his cock pulled outside, so hard and ready for you. he licks his fingers then strokes his dick a few times before placing the starts trailing your line.

“lets get you wet enough first, hm?” he softly whispered, lips kissing you on your ears.

you whimpered and hand rests at his thigh behind you.

“i don’t want my baby hurting from my big dick.” he chuckles and kept on tracing the line. his dirty words were enough to get you dripping wet for him.

“jay...” you said, out of breath even if you aren’t doing anything.

he chuckles, finding you adorable. “all right, i’m coming in baby.” he whispered then slowly put his cock inside of you.

the stretch made you moan out and whimper softly. once he managed to put it fully, he tries to make you face him.

“give me a kiss.” he demanded that you gave in. the kiss was slightly messy, but you didn’t care.

he asked you to hold on the railings as he started to fuck into you, his large hands dominates your hips. he started slow, enjoying how tight you felt around his cock. but the pleasure it was giving him made it impossible not to go faster.

he started rutting his cock in a faster pace that felt delicious. he groans as he peppered your back with light soft kisses. it was affectionate and honestly started to drive you crazy.

“ugh,” you moaned heavenly at the intensity of how jay’s fucking you at the moment.

his thick cock just slides in and out of you, reaching the parts of your insides that’s been longing for him. one of your hand hold his arm for support as you can feel your knees weakening from too much pleasure.

the breeze are slightly cold but the heat coming from both of your bodies are enough to keep you warm.

“oh my gosh... so good.” you mumble as your eyes rolls at the back of your head. jay’s brows are furrowed as he looks down on your privates connecting. the erotic sounds of your skins slapping making him feel alot of things, arousal being on top of it.

“yeah baby. you’re right.” he says. “you feel so damn good around me.” and he started fucking faster and deeper.

it was so intense and not surprising that you’re reaching your climax already. the familiar knot forming inside your stomach causes you to clench around jay’s throbbing dick. it sends instant pleasure for him, making him groan and moan. he sounded so sexy.

“cumming for me?”

you nodded your head, lips caught in between your teeth.

“me too, baby. i’m close too.” he then continued trying to drive both of you to reach that release.

you came undone to jay’s dick and is a moaning mess after it. he groans heavily and kept on fucking his hot seeds back inside your tight hole.

he made your head turn to face him for a messy kiss, giggling and chuckling in between while still helping both of you in riding your high.

“i love you so much.” he says, connecting your foreheads together.

you managed to pull a small smile, despite being drunk in lust over the climax you just reached. “i love you, jay.” and with that he leans for a peck before smirking.

“let me fuck you on the couch too.” and then started guiding you inside his dim lit condo. the only source of light are from the bright moon and some from the building next to his.

he sat down and helped you get on top of him, carefully placing both of his hands on your waist. he watches how you hold his dick and aligned it perfectly to your entrance. his eyes darted at you and hold a stare while you slowly sunk on his dick making you both moan in pleasure.

jay’s a tough man. he’s very independent and ever since he was a little, he refused to be viewed at the weaker side. he’s known for his nonchalant side, but with you he’s more than willing to show his vulnerable side. the side that melts completely to your soft touches and the side that submits to your soft gaze. he will fully let you take over him whole and he promised he will never regret. he perfectly knew his weakness and she’s right in front of him, looking so beautiful as always.

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[angelltheninth]

Hey I got into arcane recently. The art is just so goooooood. A feast for the eyes really. And everyone is hot like… help. Anyway, sorry for this loser request, but if you haven’t already can you do arcane characters with a virgin fem partner please

Loser request? I really hope that the loser part isn't that the virgin part, because I will have you know Anon that I am no loser. I am on my way to becoming a wizard!

Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn Kiramman, Maddie Nolen, Ekko, Vander, Silco, Sevika, Viktor, Jayce, Mel x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, kissing, virginity loss, gentle sex, praise, cunnilingus, size kink, fingering, orgasm encouragement, aftercare

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions

A/N: I'm also asexual so my chances of becoming a wizard are higher than your average persons. Only a few more years and I can be a better version of Harry Potter! Chat please tell me you know the meme I'm referencing and I don't sound like I'm crazy.

Was surprised for sure

She doesn't exactly have a ton of experience either but she has some

Can't say she's not excited about taking your virginity

Literally vibrates with excitement and anticipation of having sex with you and being the first one to make you come

At least as orgasms that are given by someone else that is, she would like to watch you fuck yourself sometime

Gets pussydrunk so easily, her grin smug and eyes literally shimmering

Really into making you ride her face, as you will learn over the course of your first night together

Has so much stamina that you can never even hope to keep up with but she never expected you to

Flattered that she could make you come just with her tongue

But wants to work on your stamina in the future

At first she thinks that she should tease you about it

Then she thinks better of it, since it's not exactly something to be ashamed of, she didn't mean anything bad by her teasing either

It's just... she knows she's not your first girlfriend, so how come you never had sex before

Nerves, well in that case she'll go slow with you, make sure you're not overwhelmed by her

Enthusiastic as she is she holds back, her fingers spreading you open slowly, only pushing them in a bit and then stopping fully

Doesn't stop talking dirty to you, grinning smugly when she feels your pussy tightening around her fingers

Likes it when you're flustered around her, not when you're uncomfortable

Cocky for sure, especially when she manages to make you come and didn't even need to touch your clit to do it

If she did she would have overstimulated you, you were already shaking so much

Keeps assuring you that you don't need to return the favor, but would love it if you do

Been a while since she slept with a virgin so she's actually a little nervous as well

Romantic dates, candle lights, relaxing baths, a massage, she pulls out every trick in the book to make it the best night ever

There's a lot of soft touching and affirmations from her

Has to battle a smile when you're blushing because she's making you feel good

Asks what makes you feel good when you're doing it by yourself and tries to do the same

Experimenting can come later, she wants to make your first time a nice experience, a memorable experience

Kisses down your body, almost like she's worshiping you

Seeing you sopping wet for her definitely helps her know she's doing a good job before she dives forward to eat you out

Tells you to pull her hair a lot, she won't mind

Keeps saying how pretty you are, how beautiful your moans sounds, how she wants to be the only one you moan for from now on

Feels really happy and excited that you'd trust her enough to be the first person to sleep with

Very touchy with you, not just as she's undressing you but in general, so it doesn't feel like it's too much when she guides you to the bed

Grinning she pulls you into a deep kiss and wraps her arms around you to press you against her, thighs sliding between each other

She guids your hips to move against her thigh, chuckling when she feels how slick you're making it

Kisses you the whole time because it's her favorite thing to do and because she knows it'll calm you

Doesn't go for penetration for your first time

But really wants you to sit on her face and to fuck you with her tongue

Subtly writes her name on your clit

Won't rush you into an orgasm, she lets you chase it on your own, her hands soothing against your trembling thighs

Post-orgasm cuddles are some of her favorite things so don't think this will be a one time thing

Before you told him you were a virgin he was a lot more relaxed

Now he feels a kind of pressure on himself to make your first time good

His first time was a quickie and not that memorable at all

So as your boyfriend he wants to give you a better experience and make sure you remember it for the rest of your life

Teases you to cover up his own nerves

He talks to you a lot, particularly when he's getting ready to push his cock into you

Before he does he does warn you that it can be painful but it won't last long

Shakes while pushing his cock into you, he really wants to fuck you but he's holding himself back, he's being considerate of you

Keeps his thrusts slow, smiling down at you before he pulls you into a gentle kiss, telling you how good you feel around him

Leaves it up to you if he pulls out or not

Genuinely surprised, so surprised he drops a glass and it breaks

Doesn't think you should be embaressed by it at all

Some people take a lot of time to feel safe and comfortable to be intimate with others

He's actually pretty flattered that you want him to be the one who took your virginity

Knows he's on the bigger size in terms of dick size so he really doesn't expect you to be able to take all of him, maybe half if you're lucky

It can be too much for your first time

You can just make up for it by giving him a really nice handjob

Pulls you onto his lap and wants to cuddle you afterwards, he was always pretty protective and caring towards you

Now that he's your lover you can expect that his protective tendencies will get even stronger

Surprised when you want to go again so soon but he won't argue with you

Had a feeling you were inexperienced but he didn't want to say anything

Then you might feel pressured into having sex with him and that's the last thing he wants

Besides if he was only after sex then he could get it easily

He wants more than just a one night stand, by now you know that he cares about you and wants this to be a serious relationship

Just because he's serious about this doesn't mean he can take the day off

Actually he thinks it might be better if happens spontaneously

His cock is rock hard when he pulls you onto his lap when you tease him in his office

You need to learn that there are consequences for your actions

Keeps his hand on your mouth as he fucks his cock into you, it would be bad if you were interrupted for your first time and you don't get that orgasm you've been so desperate for

From this moment on he expects you to be at his full disposal and he will be at yours, naturally, there's a lot you still need to learn about pleasuring a man like him

Tries to hold back her cocky smirk but she just can't, oh this is too good, a hot lady like you and no one's fucked you yet

Just means she gets to be the first one to show you how good sex can be

After she's done with you there won't ever be anyone else that'll be able to satisfy you like she could

Has to brag about her skills but won't make fun of you for your lack of skills

Offers to do it in the 69 position so you can mimic her movements

The best way to teach is a hands on method, or in this case the mouth and tongue on

Even though your own movements are a little clumsy and you can't focus all that well you still try to follow her lead the best you can and believe her she loves that hard working side of you

Smokes after sex, that's a habit at this point

But the catch is that she smokes after really good sex so you should take that as the highest of compliments

How soon can you go again because she would love to keep you going all night long

Well he doesn't have much experience to speak off either

So you can both learn new things, you don't have to be nervous around him

Gets hard for you really easily and has to focus to keep himself from coming too soon

Usually this isn't a problem for him but you've been the object of his fantasies and dreams many times before, he hopes this isn't another one of those fantasies

But the moment he pushes his finger inside of you he's convinced it's real, it feels right, to pleasure you, to love you

Keeps rubbing his cock while fingering you, he wants to show you he's just as eager and excited for this as you are

He moves really damn fast when he finally pushes his cock into your pussy, he can't help himself, he can't hold back, it's almost overwhelming

After he feels your inner walls pulsing and massaging his cock he slows down just a little

Not fully slow, but enough to get some control over himself

Doesn't want you get you pregnant on your first night together but in the future you can discuss such things

Almost comes in his pants from excitement

Now that would be embarrassing, for him not for you, he bets you'd love to see that

Someday maybe you will but for now he wants to focus on your pleasure not his

Eats you out like he's been starving for eternity

You have to push him away to get him to stop, your juices dripping from his mouth and into his beard, making it all shiny

Kisses your thighs, covers them with kisses and bites actually, same with your pussy

His eyes roll back when he bottoms out inside of you, he honestly didn't think you'd want all of him for your first time but you were very determined

That determination should be rewarded

He has always been the giver, he loves making his lover feel pleasure, especially if he's the first one to do that for her

You won't escape his arms when he wraps them around you from behind, pampering the back of your neck and shoulders with lazy, appreciative kisses after sex

You should have told her this information sooner, then she wouldn't have flirted with you so hard

Not that she regrets having you naked in her bed or anything like that, the opposite is true, she thinks she should have given you more time to fall into her bed

But if you're still sure you want to do this with her tonight then she will be more than happy to give you pleasure until the Sun rises

Always had a way with words and praise is no different

She might be three fingers deep in your pussy and making you squirt but she'll be damned if she'll stop talking about how sexy you are or how lucky she feels tonight

Never been much of a cuddler, she was always very guarded, but this is a special occasion

Of course she'll let you return the favor

Don't worry about clumsiness or anything like that, just do what feels right, do what makes you feel good

Trust that she'll tell you if it doesn't feel good

She doesn't really do one night stands but she also doesn't sleep over at other people's places a lot, so if you want to do this again you're gonna have to make your intentions clear next time