#((ahem...I am sorry for doing something that was unasked for. but i hope that everything eventually gets better anon!))
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sunny-kaneko · 1 year ago
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hi sunny I think you're a wonderful person and you deserve the world I want you give you a long lasted hug
(I'm suicidal pls help me)
You may hug me if that is what you wish. Though I don't believe those words about me... I do think you're wonderful yourself.
If you ever need any help.... ask those around you who care about you.... Even if I can't say it myself.... I'm sure that... everyone would be sad if anything were to happen to you....and you would be sad too...
At the end of the day, your head is only being mean to you, so don't give up...okay?
...Let's see each other more in the future, alright?
[* SUNNY gives you a gentle hug, petting your head in a comforting manner.]
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imaginejamesandsirius · 6 years ago
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Non-magic. Sirius is the mysterious and hot new dancer in the same studio as James’. They get paired together and hit off immediately. Eventually getting together. Thank you
((A/N: Mentions of scars and past child abuse))
"Good news James, we've got a new dancer in the studio, so you finally have a partner again," Lily said, making a notation on her tablet. 
"Do I even get to meet him before you finalize that?" 
"No." She looked up when he didn't say anything, catching the doubt on his face. "James, he has a great resume. He's the only person that's come even close to being on the same skill level as you, and the company that he used to be with loved him. 
"If they love him so much, why did he leave?" 
"That's a very personal question, James. Look, the performance isn't for months. Technically this is a temporary partnership, but we don't foresee any problems with this." 
"Have you met him?" 
"I have," she said, turning her eyes back to her tablet. 
"And?" 
"And I think he's your soulmate, so shut it and give him a chance. Practice starts in ten, so you might want to get dressed." 
"Yeah yeah." He grabbed his bag and headed to the locker room. They barely had a concept for the show, so there would be plenty of time for them to get used to each other. There was a good chance that this Sirius bloke was perfectly fine, but James didn't feel ready to replace Remus as his partner, even after having the last year to himself. 
All his hesitation flew out the window when he came out of the locker room and saw the next few people that had shown up. Marlene, Benjy, Dorcas, Mary, and someone he didn't recognise were by the barre, starting their stretches. Lily had told him that Sirius was his new partner and the only person new to the company this season, so the fucking gorgeous man stood by the mirror had to be him. 'Gorgeous' didn't even seem to cover it. His hair was pulled back, showing high cheekbones, a strong jaw, and other facial features that looked like they had been lifted straight from a catalog of perfect human beings. The baggy jumper he was wearing did nothing to hide how fit his body was, and those leggings hugged his arse like it was on display. 
James shook his head, making sure that there was nothing- ahem- embarrassing about his own appearance before he walked over to introduce himself. "You must be Sirius," James said with a smile that he hoped was friendly and not leering. 
"I must be." 
"I'm James," he said, holding out his hand, "your new partner." 
Sirius's face lit with recognition, and he shook James's hand. "Right, Lily told me about you. I heard about your last partner," he said in an undertone. "Sorry that this is how we meet." 
"Oh- er, thanks." That sounded a lot more awkward than James had meant for it to be. "I mean, it's fine. Remus has been telling me that I need to get over it for the past six months, so this is good. I'm looking forward to dancing with you." 
Sirius grinned, and James could swear it made the room brighter. "Same." 
Lust at first sight wasn't the best way to start a relationship with someone you'd be dancing with since your bodies were in close proximity for so long, but Sirius joked and teased him until he relaxed and getting hard was the last thing on his mind. 
A few practices that week, and James had a new best mate. 
"Ugh," Sirius said when he looked out the window and saw that it was raining. He'd driven his motorcycle in today when it hadn't seemed like it was going to rain, but now it was pouring. 
"I can give you a ride," James offered. 
Sirius shook his head. "I live so far out, I can't ask you to do that." 
"It wouldn't be a problem." 
Sirius got out his phone and checked the weather. "Nah it's passing soon, I'll just wait it out." 
"Wait it out at mine." James shrugged when Sirius glanced at him in surprise. 
"You sure? I wouldn't want to impose." 
James rolled his eyes. "Who would you be imposing on? We just spent an hour practicing dips, this is nothing." 
"If you're sure..." 
"I am. C'mon, I'm sure you're hungry." 
"Anyone ever tell you that you're too nice for your own good?" 
"Excuse you, I'm the perfect amount of good." 
"So it's never come back to bite you in the arse?" 
"I wouldn't say that, no." 
Marlene snorted, having overheard the end part of their conversation. "He'd be lying if he said that. Don't you remember the whole mess with Riddle?" 
"I thought we agreed not to talk about that," Benjy said, frowning. 
"Who's Riddle and what happened with him?" Sirius asked, not familiar with the story since it had happened way before his time. 
"Nothing," James said, grabbing Sirius's hand and dragging him towards the door. "Let's go. Bye guys! Car's over here." He let go of Sirius's hand belatedly and hoped that he wrote it off as James being absentminded-- not that, historically, James was all that absentminded. 
"Bad time?" Sirius asked gently, once they were inside the car. He was shivering a little from the rain and cold air, but he seemed more concerned about whatever had gone on with Riddle. 
"Yeah." 
"You want to talk about it?" 
"Not really." 
Sirius nodded. "I get that. Lord knows I've got lots of shit in my past I don't like to even think about, much less talk about." 
"Thanks," James said, utterly relieved that Sirius wasn't going to try and press the story from him. If they stayed partners much longer, he'd meet Remus and the whole story would come out eventually, but the point was that it wasn't today. 
They listened to the radio on the way to James's place, but it was barely one song's length before they were pulling into the lot for his flat. The rain was still pounding down, which meant that any dryness they'd found in the short ride over was gone. James lived on the first floor, so it took them no time to get into his place. 
"Sorry about the mess," James said as they took off their shoes. 
"You call this a mess?" Sirius asked, looking around. The table had a book and some marked notebook pages, along with a scattering of colourful pens. There were a couple jumpers and coats flung over the couch from when he took them off but didn't put them away, but other than that, the flat was clean. "Remind me never to have you over at my place," he joked. There were receipts everywhere, and all manner of shoes littering the floor when he'd put on a pair and then change his mind. Depending on the day, there would also be old tea cups and motorcycle parts. 
"I don't know how I'd manage to get to your place when you can't even get there." 
"One of life's great mysteries," Sirius said, giving a fake-solemn nod. "Maybe one day we'll know." 
James laughed, grabbing a towel from the toilet. "Catch," he said, tossing it over. 
Sirius pat off his face, then undid his hair to dry it off. James wasn't entirely sure what he was thinking when he walked over and kissed him, but something about the whole situation made Sirius look more beautiful than ever. Having him in his space didn't make his head any clearer, either. Sirius didn't hesitate, leaning into it and kissing James back. 
James's hands went to Sirius's hips, and the longer they snogged, the more James wanted to move his hands. They slid up under Sirius's shirt, curling around to his back. He pulled him closer, then paused as his fingers touched on raised skin that shouldn't have been there. He pulled back a little, staring at Sirius's chest even though what he wanted to be looking at was on the other side. "What's...?" 
"It's just a scar, don't worry about it," Sirius said, leaning back in.
But James shifted away, dropping his hands and taking a couple steps back. Now that he had room to think, it was clear that he should never have kissed Sirius, and certainly shouldn't have let it get as far as it did. "Erm, I don't." James licked his lips as he thought about how best to phrase what he wanted to say. "Listen Sirius, I really like you as my dance partner, and I have a tendency to ruin my friendships with people when we start to date. I don't want that to happen with us, so I'm sorry but I think it'd be best if we just forget this ever happened." 
Jaw tight, Sirius nodded. "Guess that makes sense. You er- got any granola bars? I'm starved." 
"Yeah," James said, relieved that he hadn't managed to ruin this. Despite his assertion earlier that he didn't ruin things, that was, well, a massive lie. He'd fucked things up with Lily back when they'd been teenagers, he'd ruined Remus's career by believing that Riddle actually meant well, and he'd sabotaged himself when his parents had died. He was glad beyond belief that Sirius wasn't going to join that list. 
*
Okay he'd definitely ruined things. They saw each other the next day at practice, and Sirius was very... professional, was probably the best way of phrasing it. James hadn't realised how comfortable and familiar they'd been with each other until it was gone. "I didn't see your bike today," James offered during a break. 
"Yeah," he said shortly, not elaborating on where it was or how he got here like he might have done before James buggered everything up and kissed him. 
"You feeling okay?" 
"I'm fine." 
"Okay, that's good." 
Sirius set down his water bottle and went back onto the floor. 
James sighed. "Good talk," he muttered to himself. 
He got the answer to his unasked question about how Sirius got to the studio when practice ended and someone he hadn't seen before was hanging out at the entrance. Someone who looked suspiciously like Sirius. 
"Are you Sirius's brother?" James asked out of the blue. So much for him being polite to everyone he met, but he was curious. 
He looked up when he heard James talking to him, and James saw a large scar on the side of his face. "Yeah, I'm Regulus and you are?" 
"James, Sirius's dancing partner." 
"Ah," he said, nodding. "He mentioned you." Remus had scars on his face too, so that's not what made him pull up short a few seconds later. Remus's scars had been from a car accident when he was younger, but these looked deliberate, like someone had carved it into him. 
"I take it he wasn't very flattering." 
Regulus's mouth quirked up in amusement. "Are we talking about the same Sirius? Pretty sure he thinks the sun shines out your arse." 
"Really? Cause he seems kinda mad at me." 
"What'd you do?" 
"Er, kissed him. But I apologised afterwards, and he said it was fine," he rushed to assure Regulus, not wanting to think that he forced himself on his coworkers all the time. 
Regulus snorted. "You apologised," he said, sounding amused and shaking his head. "And why did you apologise exactly?" 
"Well," James shifted his weight nervously, "all my past relationships ended horribly. I like Sirius too much to ruin our friendship. Besides, it's not like he liked me all that much to begin with. It'll be fine, right?" 
Regulus laughed, and James was beginning to think that he was missing something important. He opened his mouth to say something, hopefully explain what James was missing, but Sirius walked up, bag thrown over his shoulder and looking suspicious. "I see you two met," he said evenly. 
Still laughing a little, Regulus said to Sirius, "He thinks you don't like him." 
"Regulus," James hissed, embarrassed that he just came out and said it like that. 
"I- what?" Sirius asked, taken aback. 
"I think Uncle Alphard's calling me, have to take this," he said, taking his phone out of his pocket and walking away. 
James stared after him, mouth ajar in shock. "Did he just out me and then fake a phone call?" 
"Believe it or not," Sirius said, "he's always like this." He turned to face James. "You like me?" 
"Well yeah." 
"Then why'd you apologise for kissing me?" 
"I fuck up every relationship I've ever been in. We're good together Sirius, I don't want to ruin that." 
"How exactly would you ruin it? We like each other, we dance perfectly together, we get on like a house on fire. Where would we go wrong?" 
"I don't know," James said, "but I always find a way. Ask Lily about it sometime." 
"You know, I did that already. You wanna know what she told me?" 
"To run the other direction?" he guessed. 
"To jump in and not look back." 
"But what if-" 
"Oh shut it," Sirius said, fisting a hand in James's hoodie and pulling him in for a kiss. "We'll be fine." 
"And if we aren't?" 
"Then we'll deal with it like adults. I can dance just fine with people that hate me, and I'm sure you'd be able to do the same." 
"I wouldn't hate you," James argued. "It's not like I'm going to suddenly decide you're scum or summat." 
Sirius hummed, kissing him again, slower and softer this time. "Stop worrying about what's going to happen in the future, and enjoy what's happening right now. Please?" 
"I-" James blew out a breath. "Yeah okay. I don't suppose we can tell your brother that his intervention did nothing?" 
Sirius shook his head. "He always knows. Just say thank you and move on." 
"I also accept thanks in the form of desserts," Regulus said, and James jumped in surprise. 
"How long have you been standing there?" 
"Only a few seconds," he said mildly. "Sirius, are you still coming home or do you have other plans?" 
"Don't be an arse, of course I have plans." 
"So I drove out here for nothing?" 
"You helped us get our shit in order," James offered. "That's not nothing." 
"Oh joy," he said flatly. "Sirius, text me if you're staying the night." He walked away without waiting for any sort of response. 
"He's going to take some getting used to," James said. 
"No offense, but I hope him being blunt is the biggest problem we have for a while." 
"Sirius, I hope so too." 
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