#((Probably shouldn't overuse the tag but what else do I tag it as-

[supersoakerfullofblood]

Dialogue Tags and Action Beats, Pacing and Scene Development; a Brief Overview

I've seen a few "dialogue tags to use instead of 'said'" posts now, but most of the tags provided by these posts are trying too hard and are much more distracting than "said" would be. "I'll kill you," he declared; "It's okay," she exonerated; He remarked, "He shouldn't have done that." These are clunky to varying degrees, and if you don't recognize that now, you will with practice.

The truth of the matter is that "said" is pretty much always blank space that the reader will skim over without a second thought. It's maybe the only word we have with this function, and it should be treated as such! So why don't we use dialogue tags that add meaning to the dialogue? Something like "argued," "rejoiced," "remarked"? You can, and these should be used now and then (maybe not "rejoiced"), but overusing them weights down the prose, and in general, they should be replaced by action beats or description.

In much the same way adverbs and adjectives should be avoided if the noun they modify already has the qualities of its modifier, wordy dialogue tags should be avoided if you can show the character's emotions through other means. Dialogue tags are telling; action beats and description are showing. Look at these examples:

He remarked, "I can't believe it's not butter."

His eyebrows rose. "I can't believe it's not butter."

"I told you not to do it," she cried.

Her body shook; words rasped her throat. "I told you not to do it."

"Cried" and "remarked" here aren't bad, but they are weaker than they could be. In the first example, "remarked" indicates tone, but it doesn't do anything else. "His eyebrows rose" indicates tone and also develops the scene. It places the character in the reader's mind's eye, and we understand how that specific character reacts to margarine. How would a different character react differently? This dialogue feels embodied; it belongs to a specific body, a specific host. The second example is embodied too, and a little flowery, though not excessively so. We see how a character reacts to whatever "it" is, and we aren't told how they react. How does she cry in the first sentence?

The debate about dialogue tags, however, misunderstands what tags are actually for. Probably 10% of it is imbuing meaning where there is none (a simple word like "whisper" is a great replacement for "said" when used with restraint), but 90% of it is about tempo/flow/beat/pacing/whatever you want to call it. Read these sentences:

She said, "This is none of your business, and you aren't telling anyone about it."

"This is none of your business," she said, "and you aren't telling anyone about it."

"This is none of your business, and you aren't telling anyone about it," she said.

These sentences convey the same information, but to the careful ear, they carry a world of difference. The first reads snippy, like a terse command; the second gives some added gravity to the second half of the quote, landing hard on the last clause; the third one may be effective if the character is responding immediately to something another character said, since there isn't anything to preface the dialogue, and there's nothing halting it in the middle. All this happens in the two syllables of "she said." Use this word to affect the flow of your writing; use this word to affect how people read your writing. Another sin of other dialogue tags is that they may have too high of a syllable count to warrant use. "He expostulated" is a wild distraction from otherwise smooth prose. "She interrupted" is also clunkier than just having the character interrupt with your choice of dialogue tag/action beat placement or omission. In general, I'd be wary of any dialogue tag longer than two syllables.

Wordy dialogue tags can also be avoided by seeding description in your conversation scenes! Just as the world still operates when we have conversations, so too should it for your characters. Here's an exchange from a story I wrote:

He smiled. “Sleep well?” “Girls were up late.” “Is that a yes—” “No. I didn’t sleep.” She squeezed her eyes closed. “They were screeching.” The crowd caught up with them, swallowed them, and they were carried along the cement. “Oh.” Carmen paused. “Sorry.” “It’s okay.” “Is it all bad?” Bodies shifted in the crowd, and Piper glimpsed Beatrice again. Familiarity warmed her chest. Here was the world outside the camp; here was everything Piper knew. She stood between Beatrice and Carmen and lived again in band class, lived again on the bus home, let public streams flood her roots and grow her as a social monolith, an independent and undisputed landmark in her social circles. But at camp, she was little more than Beatrice’s friend, than Carmen’s apocryphal lover. “It’s not all bad,” she said. “Bea is here. And you.”

Description can easily mold into a character's internal monologue, as it does here. You can also go straight to the monologue if you'd like:

Was she sad, Piper thought, or coy? No, it was the start of a joke. “You didn’t think you were a big deal?” But Beatrice didn’t smile. “I didn’t think people cared that much.” She drew her hands close on the table, covered right with left, and looked into her knuckles. This was defeat, Piper recognized. Beatrice conceded, but of her own will. Piper won, but her score was sour, and Beatrice seemed to crumple her arms into the abject statue of her body. And Piper felt as she never had before, as if a storm of locusts ate at the border of her stomach, as if her skin turned to deep and polluted waters, as if moving one hand or twitching one muscle would irrevocably alter the course of life; the drumming of a finger would set off some idle paranoia in Beatrice, or a sniff of the nose would throw her from the wide window, drop her thirty feet down the wooded hill, and crack herself in two on the base of an implacable oak. This was grief, Piper felt, or something approximating it, something resembling internally a dark and blank horizon, something feeling as a stone feels in a pond whose size may only house that stone, something taking shape in the woman before Piper, shrinking now to a girl, now to someone uninspiring in a world of couplets. Piper sat still, because she did not know how to affect the world without ending it. “I’m sorry,” she said.

Imagine if the second example read:

"You didn't think you were a big deal?" Piper said.

Beatrice frowned. "I didn't think people cared that much."

Piper frowned because Beatrice was sad. "I'm sorry."

Much weaker! Why is the description so long in the second example? Because it's a big emotion! In the world of pacing, big things get big descriptions. In both examples, you feel exactly what the characters are feeling, even though I never used a dialogue tag besides "said." And I used "said" a few times to affect the pacing, which adds to how you perceived the characters. You understood the characters because stronger, more descriptive, more pacing-aware things replaced what could've been clunky tags.

Still, you can do whatever you want with tags, beats, and description. I've read incredible prose with zero tags and sparse beats, prose with paragraphs of beats and plenty of tags, and anything in between. It's all a matter of style, which is to say, experiment! Writers will be stubborn and say things like, "I don't use anything besides 'said' in my prose" or "I'll never use 'said' in my prose again," but neither of those are your personal style. They're declarations that you'll die on this hill you don't fully comprehend, to take a stand on an idea you've never genuinely played with. Go full maximalist; go full minimalist; find what feels right for the pacing you want to incorporate into your style, and recognize how pacing changes depending on the context and content of a scene. Nearly every word is permissible somewhere, it's just a matter of finding the right scene for it. And "said" is permissible always.

[mumms-the-word]

THINGS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT MY FELLOW WRITERS

I can’t remember who tagged me with this or if I stole it 😭

Tagging: @elspethdekarios @sorceresssundries @fantasyfictionfables @lewdisescariot and anyone else??

No pressure friends as always and sorry for double tagging, this has sat in drafts for like days

Last book I read: For fun? I honestly can't remember. For my dissertation, Phantasmion by Sara Coleridge (and I haven't recovered, it was an acid trip of a fantasy novel)

Greatest literary inspirations: Bram Stoker (fave classic writer), Marissa Meyer (influenced my love of YA fairy tales), Ursula K. Le Guin (her style is SO GOOD)

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write: I skim/read a lot of smut for someone who will never write it. I don't even read it that much, but occasionally something catches my eye (I appreciate you smutty, smutty people). What I'd want to read but not write is slice-of-life style shenanigans between characters, the kind that comic artists like @a2zillustration do really well. Send me recs if you know other BG3 comic artists!

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: my current masquerade fic I love writing stuff that is incredibly specific to my Tavs because I find it fascinating to explore different character perspectives and voices? But I know the fandom tends to enjoy generalized Tavs or "you" POVs more than specific OC characters, which is fair given the nature of the game, so I don't share as much of my Tav-specific stuff these days

You can recognise my writing by: the lack of smut...and probably an overuse of adverbs. and the fact that every chapter/oneshot is ridiculously long. I'm new to fanfic, okay, I wrote full books as a hobby before this lol

My most controversial take (current fandom): oh boy I have...many, probably...I've already gotten blocked for one hot take (I think it was a misunderstanding??) but it wasn't even my most controversial take. I think my most controversial take is that there is no One Correct Way to interpret a character, and anyone who tells you that "you're reading the game files wrong" or "that isn't what is canon" is ignoring the fact that a) that's not how interpretation works, and b) the branching nature of the game is going to necessarily mean that different people encounter different things in different orders and may not even get the dialogue that you hold so dear to your interpretation of the character, and that is okay. We shouldn't ask everyone to become an expert in every facet of their favorite character's identity because not everybody has the time or energy for that. We should just hope that people are having fun. Like I know this is a complex topic and I don't want to ramble about it here lol but that's the gist

Top three favourite tropes: in no particular order, 1) arranged/convenient marriage that leads to genuine love between characters, 2) super big tall buff scary guy (tortured past optional) is actually a total sweetheart who is a little afraid of his own strength (bonus points if he falls in love with a smol person he must protect and feels slightly unworthy of), and 3) FOUND FAMILY I love it every time

What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): fic writing I'm like....idk a 6? dissertation writing, which I am actually supposed to be writing, is a solid 1.

Share a random frustration: my students keep insisting on using AI to write their assignments and it is BEYOND frustrating how much time it takes up for me to read their assignment, mark where they've used AI, and then forward it to the next tier in our "Guess what you done fucked up" system for this class

[lotusofhope]

Nah im sorry but that's kinda weird to say.

That's like saying epileptic people shouldn't ask for flashing tags because they should just accept the internet is unsafe for them.

To be clear, I don't agree with the callout post either; some nuance is required.

I believe that:

1. Tags are always a proactive choice a community makes to be inclusive. Sometimes, communities don't take enough effort to be inclusive to everyone and that is okay - these inclusive options take real effort and you could never be inclusive to every trigger or disability imo

2. We likely would benefit from making our communities more inclusive. Tags and image descriptions are good things and are worth the effort to put in, but shaming people into doing these things doesn't usually help.

3. You do not get to dictate what is safe or unsafe for someone else. Unreality tags can prevent anything from a major psychosis event to just discomfort and dissassociation. Claiming that tags are unnecessary because the people who would benefit from them shouldn't be here anyways is just ableist as fuck. I don't use that term lightly; it has baggage and is probably overused a bit, but what you have said is by definition ableist.

To underline it; don't decide you don't want to tag something because you don't care about disabled people or think you know better than them. You can decide to leave tags off because you don't want to go through the effort, because you think the people asking for tags are acting in bad faith, but what you have posted here, as someone who benefits from the unreality tag, is just honestly really upsetting.

I just saw the following sentence in a call-out post: "We really haven't been doing a good enough job tagging this properly and protecting neurodivergent people from being gaslit and traumatized."

The post is about... Goncharov.

--

My view is that if unreality is a tag you need, social media is wildly unsafe for you at all times, but it also doesn't seem like that's the crowd pushing for this. This seems like some white knighting bullshit, to be honest.

[originaldanganronpascenarios]

Amacha oneshot!

I can't put it under read rn but when I will be able to I'll do it! I was super excited to write it and I'm so happy I finally finished it!

Alsooo it's my first time writing something like this so... Sorry!

Wattpad:

Idea was given by @yawnmeno!

AU: Non-despair

Pairings: Himiko x Kokichi, Rantaro x Tenko

Triggers: none

Apologies for: Often POV changes bad English and slight ooc.

Himiko POV

I was quite excited! Why? Becouse Kokichi planned our first official date! We were going out right after school (Okay maybe not RIGHT after since we have to change our uniforms). But I got quite cute outfit ready so it whouldn't take long and we could go for it right away! Now it's time for school though... What a pain... I really wish I could just go with Kokichi but Tenko and Angie whould worry if I skipped day. Even if we are attending hope's peek and attending class is optional I kinda like to spend time with my classmates even though they are often a pain to deal with. I hate the fact that we have to wake up so early too...

Walking towards the classroom Tenko suddenly approached me and her loud voice almost scared me "Hey Himiko!" she was smiling as always. I was still a bit tired but I managed to respond "Hello Tenko" I yawned.

There was a small silence as we moved towards the classroom until she spoke up "Are you free today? I thought about meeting up with Angie and doing something together" she pulled out her phone in attempt to find something to do.

But I decided to stop it before she got excited "I do have plans today sorry". She seems a bit surprised "What are you doing?" she asked. Before I could say anything she started guessing "Do you have magic show prepared for today? Or did you overuse your mana again and need to regenerate or-"

"I'm going on a date with Kokichi" she was even more surprised than she was earlier but it's better that I didn't lie.

However I regret that I didn't say that it's something she shouldn't care about... "Really you are going to be alone with Kokichi!?" I noded she still wasn't used to us dating... It's annoying. Then Tenko proceeded to lecture me on why it's a bad idea and why I shouldn't trust Kokichi. As soon as I got inside the classroom I sat down and tried not to fall asleep while Tenko kept rambling.

When she was (finally) finished I looked at her with annoyed expression "Don't get me wrong Tenko but Kokichi is my boyfriend so I don't see why I shouldn't go"

"Still I don't trust him. I don't want anything bad happening to you! How about I tag along but just to be there in case something happens?" she kept insisting... This is bad... I need to tell Kokichi about it "I need to go back to my dorm I think I forgot something" I looked at Tenko and she believed me "Do you need my help?" she asked and I shook my head.

I decided to not waste more time and find him.

=> Time skip

I looked around the halls for him and there is no sign of Kokichi anywhere...

Just when I was about to give up someone hugged me from behind "I heard that someone was looking for me" I immediately looked towards source of the voice and it was Kokichi smiling. I was surprised that I didn't notice him sooner.

He saw my expression and his smile disappeared "Did something happen?" he asked while still hugging me. I sighed "It's just Tenko... She whouldn't stop talking on how she doesn't trust you" he quickly catched up "She wants to tag along on our date?" I nodded.

He thought for a moment his face lit up so he probably has an idea "Let her join us". I looked at him "What?" he then pat my head "Don't worry your pretty head about it. Just tell her to come I have an idea. Trust me she won't be bothering us" I have a bad feeling about this... But I agreed. Now I need to get back and tell Tenko about it.

Kokichi POV

I followed Himiko and we both entered the classroom. She went towards Tenko while I went to Rantaro.

"Heeey Rantaro can you do a favor for me?" I asked catching his attention "What do you need?" Rantaro a bit hesitantly asked. Since both Tenko and Himiko were in the room I couldn't risk them overhearing my plan. Even though it's nothing big I want it to be a surprise. So I signaled that I rather talk about it outside.

Not thinking twice he followed "So are you going to tell me what you need from me?"

"Can you join me and Himiko today" I said casually. Rantaro however seems to be a bit surprised "Wasn't that supposed to be a date?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Yup! But there is a third wheel that tries to prevent the date from happening soooo I'll need you to distract her" I ansvered like it was obvious.

"It's about Tenko isn't it?" I gave him a look of affirmation "I know that you like her" I said with teasing tone. Rantaro sighed "Whether I do or not it's none of your concern Kokichi"

"But you are my best friend how can I not care about your feelings?"

"Alright I'll do it" he put his hands up in defeat. I knew he'd agree to it sooner or later.

=> Time skip- 10 minutes before the date

Himiko POV

I managed to get ready early and so me and Tenko went to where we were supposed to meet wich was in front of school gates.  I wonder what Kokichi came up with in the end... I'm a bit afraid to ask but well I'll have to see for myself...

"Himiko are you... Mad at me?" I turned around towards Tenko. Before I got to say anything Kokichi arrived but he wasn't alone...

"Hey there" Rantaro calmly greeted us. I looked at Tenko and she didn't seem so happy "What is he doing here?" she crossed her arms "I could say the same about you Tenko" Kokichi copied her movement.

Well this is akward... "So..." Rantaro spoke up "Where are we going?"

"Well me and Himiko wanted to go to the amusement park" Kokichi ansvered.

So we all followed Kokichi since he knew where to go. It was all pretty silent. I kinda feel bad for Rantaro now that I think about it... Kokichi probably somehow forced him to go... Still I don't know why Kokichi thought bringing Rantaro whould anyhow help...

My thoughts were stopped when Kokichi grabbed my hand "Come on Himiko we are supposed to have fun! We won't do much if we just stand and watch others have fun!" he dragged me towards random attraction.

Rantaro POV

After Tenko saw Kokichi run away with Himiko from her field of sight she grabbed my hand and went same direction trying to find them "I can't believe I let my guard down! He is definitely plotting something"

"Or maybe he just wants to spend some time with his girlfriend alone" I sighed. Tenko stopped running and turned towards me she looked like she wanted to say something but she didn't and continued walking still holding onto my hand.

She probably didn't notice that since when we finally found the couple she looked flustered once she looked at her hand holding mine... She quickly snatched it and moved away from me like I did something to her.

It continued like this over and over again. Kokichi grabbing Himiko and going somewhere else then Tenko tries to make me follow her after them and I am trying to reason with her. I don't even know why she wants me to follow when she just can do it on her own. Still I told Kokichi I'd distract her... But it just seems impossible. She's super stubborn and caring person I know she means no harm but it needs to stop.

Just when I thought about a way to reason with her Kokichi didn't seem to run away this time "Maaan I got quite tired after so much fun! How about we take a break and grab something to eat?" he suggested as Himiko nodded.

So we all moved and Himiko spoke up "Tenko could you and Rantaro find someplace to sit? Me and Kokichi will get the food" not thinking twice Tenko agreed and both of us told them what we wanted.

And so the two of us managed to find a seat. Tenko was less bothered than before so I decided to talk to her "Is everything alright Tenko?"

"Don't play this game with me. Whatever you want from me you won't get it"

"Well all I wanted was an answer so if you don't want to I'm fine with it" as I shrugged Tenko looked like she was lost.

After few seconds she made up her mind "Fine! I'll tell you. But just because I need to get it off my chest and not becouse I consider you a friend or anything like it" she said with quite threatening tone. However this didn't stop me from wanting to listen "I'm all ears"

"Do you think Himiko hates me?" she asked as she started playing with her hair.

"Honestly I don't" I looked at Himiko and Kokichi waiting in line he seems to be teasing her again "But what I do think is that you should just leave her and Kokichi alone. I know it might be hard for you since well Kokichi isn't too trustworthy but he is someone she loves and they seem pretty happy together... Why stand in their way?"

As Tenko looked at them they were laughing together while still waiting in line. She looked like she felt guilty for her behavior "Even though you are a male I must admit... I agree with you. They do seem happy..." she looked quite sad "I think it's better if I will just go" she stood up and tried to walk away... But my body moved on its own and I didn't let her. When she turned around she blushed slightly "What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I chuckled "I can't let you leave feeling down" then she hit my head "I told you not to play these games with me" she had expression of disgust mixed with annoyance.

"Just tried to be nice but if you really want to leave I can't really stop you"

She was probably lost in thought since she just stood there and looked at me. The longer she was staring the more her expression changed.

"Alright... I'll stay with you. But you better not be plotting anything" she said as she sat down next to me still keeping distance.

That's when Himiko and Kokichi came back with the food "Nyeh this line was so long my legs are tired from standing" Himiko complained as she sat down.

We had a small chat as we ate and Tenko didn't seem to be as bothered as she was before.

When we were finished Kokichi yet again grabbed Himiko and ran off. But this time Tenko didn't chase them. She turned towards me "Alright. Let's go" maybe it was the lights but her cheeks were slightly pink.

Then me and Tenko proceed to actually have fun. Her honest smile was just the best...

She was looking at one of the prizes wich was a cat toy. So not thinking twice I tried winning it and I managed to do so "Here" I smiled as I handed her the cat "Thanks but you know I could get it myself right?" she said as she pouted while I chuckled "I know. I just wanted to impress you I think" I laughed awkwardly as Tenko rolled her eyes yet again accusing me of 'playing this kind of games' with her.

It was slowly getting late and the lights made everything even more magical. So why not see everything from better view?

"Hey Tenko... Do you want to go on ferris wheel?"

"Sure!" she said as I was pretty surprised that she agreed.

So we two got there and waited in line. It seems like Kokichi and Himiko were going there too since they were ahead of us in line. Luckily it was short so we didn't had to wait long.

When the ride started she was a bit shaking "Tenko is everything alright?"

"NO! Uh- I mean yes everything is fine" she laughed awkwardly.

I raised my eyebrow and Tenko tried to change the topic "Look how pretty it looks from up here!" I chuckled as I admired the view... It was beautiful but not as beautiful as her smi- wait what am I thinking.

Rest of the ride was silent as we looked at the lights.

When we got down I still tried to figure out why she acted like that...

"Hello earth to Rantaro are you there?" Tenko waved her hand in front of me.

"Oh sorry Tenko what were you saying?"

"N-Nevermind what I said let's just go the park is soon closing" she crossed her arms as we headed to the front gate of the park where we met up with Kokichi and Himiko.

Both of them had a lot of prizes with them while Tenko was still holding onto one I won for her.

All of us headed back together but when Kokichi walked Himiko to her dorm I was alone with Tenko yet again.

She was hiding her (blushing) face behind the cat plushie and said "T-Thank you for today. For a male... You are pretty cool" she said as she gave me a quick hug and walked to her dorm.

~Mod Chiaki