#(( tho dont take this massive rant wrong tho

[sphinx-myth]

"Mothers yell because they are stressed"

WHAT, EVEN AT 6AM? EVEN AT 3 20 PM? EVEN AT 5PM - 1AM?? SOMETIMES 3AM? EVERYSECOND? OF EVERY DAY? IF KIDS STRESS YOU OUT. DONT. HAVE.FUCKING.KIDS.

Yes ur a bad parent. You said this one of the MULTIPLE times you broke off with dad. You said it when you had a fight with dad. You said it when you had a fight with brad. You said over text when u send me to spy on dad. You tell me 24/7. And you know what. YEA YOU ARE FUCK OFF AND STOP VENTING TO ME, GO TO FUCKING THERAPY OR MAYBE TAKE YOUR MEDS. WHILE DADS NOT TOO GOOD HIMSELF HES BETTER THAN YOU AND THAT SAYS ALOT

I SHOULDNT FEEL LIKE CRYING EVERYTIME I DO SOMETHING LIKE SAY NO TO WATCHING A MOVIE WITH MY OWN FATHER BECAUSE IM SO UNCOMFORTABLE WITH BEING ALONE WITH HIM WATCHING SOMETHING BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME WHEN HES DRUNK. I SHOULD NOT HAVE DREAMS OF YOU YELLING JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. STOP SENDING THOES TIKTOKS YOUR A CUNT LEAVE ME ALONE.

15 YEARS OF BULL SHIT AND IT TOOK ME NEARLY A YEAR TO LEARN TO BE ANGRY AFTER DOING EVERYTHING I CAN FOR YOU. I ACTUALLY LOVE CLEANING. I LOVE SINGING. ID BE SO MUCH BETTER IF MAYBE YOU DIDNT RIDICULE ME EVERY FUCKING DAY. WHY DO I GET MASSIVE BACKLASH EVERYTIME I GET A CHANCE TO BE UPSET. YOU MAKE IT WORSE IM ANGRY EVERYTIME IM AROUND YOU GUYS BECAUSE YOU MAKE IT WORSE. LET ME FEEL FUCKING EMOTIONS FOR ONCE. WHY ARE THERE PHOTOS OF ME SLIGHTLY CRYING BECAUSE YOU FORCED US TO SIT THERE IN A DARK ROOM WITH BLUE LED LIGHTS AND USED THE FLASH EVEN THO I BEGGED U NOT TOO. I HATE BRIGHT LIGHTS. AND YOU PROCCEED TO INSTALL WHITE BRIGHT LIGHTS ALL DOWNSTAIRS AND YELL AT ME WHEN I DONT WANNA BE IN THERE?

I can rant about her for hours honestly.

A motto i learned at like age 10 that i even taught my brothers "prepare for the car." BECAUSE THATS WERE YELLING ALWAYS HAPPENS WHEN WE DO SOMETHING SLIGHTLY WRONG. Brads response to it all is anger, jamies is anger of tears, mine is just to try space out or ignore you, tommys is to freeze and im trying my damn hardest to teach AN NEARLY 12 MAYBE AUDHD YEAR OLD HOW TO PROCESS IT BETTER THAN FREEZING.

Years i spent trying to help you, but your the villain your so afraid of it. You know it, like you know that theres good chance i have arfid and autism. THE DOCTORS TOLD U I HAVE AN ED. Tommy has autism and adhd, brad has may hpd, adhd and anger issues. YOU KNOW THIS AND YOU REFUSE TO GET US HELP? Fuck you. I cant even feel safe to write in a book or on my phone because of you.

[royalreef]

(( As much as I love Monster Prom, some of its decisions as it comes to canon are just... boring. Disappointing and kind of a letdown in comparison to what was previously implied. They aren’t necessarily bad, and even in another story they could be perfect and impactful, and they’re all written nicely - but it’s just... A letdown in comparison to all the other possibilities.

Like I remember when the only lore ending we had available for any of the ROs was Damien’s Hairstylist ending, and the RPC was FULL of unique takes on lore for all the other characters! Like the old idea of Liam and Polly being childhood friends, or lore with gorgons, or even just how Zoe would behave after becoming a student. I’m not mad with how they all actually turned out, as again, I do think they were written well and were impactful in the intended ways, but at the same time... They feel like simple answers. Answers that don’t play as much in the idea that, these are monsters, in a world where magic and utter nonsense are commonplace and nearly anything is possible so long as you have the stats for it. It’s boring. It’s simple, and easy, and not too unusual once you get the gist of it.

Maybe it’s just the fact that the rest of the game is so wholly based in anything other than realism that having the serious lore be realistic just... I don’t know, feels strange?

As odd as it is, I feel like I lucked out with Miranda. The Bellanda ending was just bad, providing next to nothing lore-wise, coming off in a way that I’m sure wasn’t intended, and fumbling everything that’s been implied with Miranda up until then. Most of my Bellanda lore was developed before its release, since Bellanda herself was known about before then and I know someone had looked through the game files to find the picture for that one ending, so other than getting the other sisters’ names and adding a few chunks of things for me to work with, not much with my lore changed. Hell, the entire ending was just about lampshading how Miranda had no character nor lore nor motivations, and it just.... Felt like the worst possible way to explore Miri in any further detail?

Especially because she’s not a boring character!!! Once you start looking at her, laying out the consistencies and all the little things that we’ve been dropped, it paints a wonderfully interesting picture with a lot of fascinating things at play! She’s mega-rich in a way that even existing monarchies aren’t and weren’t even historically, she mentions things which have no business being in a fantasy kingdom, what is implied about her culture is bizarre and suggests that the Merkingdom has been isolated from other influences for far longer than even monsters and humans have from each other, what we hear about the Vanderbilts themselves and Miranda’s upbringing and all her little traits is sincerely concerning, and even the most obvious “ something is most definitely going on in a way we can’t see ” trait of her having eating serfs and not eating for herself is entirely undiscussed and never touched upon. She’s a character with a TON of vague, interesting concepts and a whole lot of unknown space between, and canon’s answer of “That space is totally empty, Miranda has nothing going on whatsoever” just feels like a copout!! There are so many interesting ways you could take it, and to completely dismiss that is BORING!!!

Like... I don’t know, maybe it’s me fanning my own flames, but I feel like it makes sense that the blog I really stuck with and the blog that’s been active in the MonProm RPC the longest would be a Miranda blog. She, out of all the characters, has the most big, interesting concepts behind her, and canon has almost entirely abandoned her. To be a Miranda blog, you have to deal with those concepts one way or another, and you have to wade into all the implications of them to continually write her, and with canon and fandom both ignoring her, you have to be very internally motivated to keep going with her. While I’m sure any other character had the same possibility, that they could’ve been the one in my place who got started at the beginning of the RPC and stuck around as long as I have - it just feels fitting to me, that Miranda was the canon character who it happened to. Canon didn’t really have a chance to kill her lore with a boring answer to who she is and why, and even in being canon divergent in the way that I am, it’s still less canon divergent than how a lot of the older ideas on lore would be anymore.

Maybe this is wholly me connecting red string on a corkboard. I’m willing to accept that, and it’s probably the truth. But it feels like a lot of wasted opportunities to make really unique, complex lore that just fell through the cracks because canon played it safe. 

If anything, I’d liken it a lot to the monster designs themselves. There was a chance to create beautiful, unique, horrifying monsters that you can date and be your worst self with, and while what we ended up getting is still good, they’re also kinda just people in face paint.     

[bigskydreaming]

I know some people just aren’t comfortable engaging with parts of canon where Bruce is abusive, because that’s just not the version of the character they’re here for, and I get that.

But the second a fic shows a willingness to address or even center itself around something like RHATO #25 or the Batman issue from King’s run where Bruce hits Tim......but DOESN’T acknowledge any of the many, MANY times that Bruce has been abusive to Dick on both sides of the Reboot, from post-Forever Evil to after Jason’s death post-Crisis and times in between?

Yeah, that’s when I see red.

Cuz that’s when it starts to look an awful lot like people are viewing abuse as some kind of narrative spice that they can selectively dole out only to those characters they like, while ignoring the times its applied to characters they don’t like because it might make them too sympathetic or interesting or what the fuck ever.

And I know people aren’t viewing abuse that way, right? Like surely there’s got to be some other explanation for why fics that heavily reference every single time Bruce has done something bad to Jason or Tim seem to act like Dick was just passively at Bruce’s side through all this, backing him up or else just being too naive to think Bruce could ever be like that, instead of like....actively a victim of their father’s abuse as well.

Look, its one thing for a certain character to not be your focal point or someone you’re particularly interested in, but you GOTTA look at the way this looks when you treat a character who has had instances of being a victim of Bruce’s abuse going back over thirty years, as like, being enabling, uncaring of or even party to Bruce’s abuse to the others in more recent years. Like, I focus a lot on the times he’s done it with Dick like in NW #30 or NTT #55 and just talk about Bruce and Dick in reference to those, because I’m trying to keep the focus limited to just Bruce and Dick for the purposes of whatever point I’m making, but the thing about that is.....I’m not CLAIMING that Bruce has never been abusive with any of the others, they’re just literally not even coming into the post because it isn’t about them. 

But the second you open things up to a full fic where things from all points of canon are being referenced in characters’ issues with Bruce, and you have a full cast list assembled.....it doesn’t work the same way because now you’re not just not talking about Dick’s experiences there because he’s not the focal point, now you’re actively writing over his experiences with a veneer of oh Dick and Bruce are fine, nothing like this has ever or would ever happen with them. That’s when you’re making for whatever reason a conscious CHOICE to depict certain kids of Bruce’s as victims at his hands, but NOT depicting the one who inarguably has been written that way the LONGEST and going back the furthest....because you simply don’t WANT him to be as sympathetic or the others or someone who can relate to them on this front, you want him to be an OBSTACLE to all that.

That’s shitty. I don’t know how else to tell you that that’s shitty. Please stop reserving abuse as some kind of ‘prize’ that’s only awarded to your personal faves’ backstories, because oh my god is that an offensive fucking take both coming and going. Not only are you unintentionally framing abuse as something ‘that can be quite good, actually, cuz it makes characters (people) interesting,’ you’re also again, as I said, seeing absolutely zero problem with taking a canon abuse survivor and making him part of the issue instead of someone similarly affected by it, simply because you don’t like him or find him interesting and you don’t want him to be the same as Jason or the others in this regard.

Frankly, this applies to the way this fandom treats a LOT of specific kinds of traumas. Like catch me side-eyeing the massive trend of Jason-as-Robin era fics that have Jason view Dick as spoiled, pampered, and harder to relate to or understand even than Bruce because god forbid one of those fics go with the juvie origin for Dick. I’ve more than once heard people say “I just don’t like that origin for Dick because I find it too angsty” and I gotta say, its a good thing that Cass and Damian’s origins aren’t too angsty to avoid and that nobody has ever extrapolated from what we do know about Jason and Tim’s childhoods to go into extremely elaborate and angsty detail about every possible facet of abuse or neglect they might have endured. 

I mean nah, this isn’t yet another way in which people deliberately depict Dick as just ‘not getting it’ because he hasn’t been through the kinds of stuff the others have, and its like. Okay but see thing is, he actually HAS, and you not acknowledging any of those instances is a CHOICE that you’re making as a writer, and as readers, we’re allowed to question those choices. We can look at what you’re presenting in the way that you’re presenting it, and think okay, but one of these things is not like the others, and the way you treat various characters as extremely sympathetic because of various aspects of their canon stories or their backstories while acting like the same could never ever be true of a character it absolutely has been true of on many different occasions....its super uncomfortable. And it kinda casts a shadow over everything you write into your story about abuse or specific other traumas because now there’s actually this implicit undertone where its like, okay but we actually only care about these things when they’re affecting someone or some character we LIKE, and that’s.....yeah. Not awesome.

I’ve ranted many a time before about the abuse apologism that runs rampant in this fandom, particularly in the vein of people refusing to acknowledge Bruce’s abusive actions (which again, I understand and am fine with up UNTIL...) but being perfectly comfortable sticking with any and all of Dick’s REACTIONS to literal abuse, but now deliberately separated from the inciting actions which makes it look like he’s just instigating shit or upset for no reason whatsoever. That’s literal abuse apologism, no matter what your intentions are, because hate to break it to people, but “Avoid Acknowledging An Abuser’s Actions And Flip The Focus To What The Abuse Victim Is Doing Wrong Instead” is literally chapter one of Abuse Apologism 101. But this shit? Abuse only happens to people I care about or find sympathetic already, because weirdly I seem to be able to make excuses for or overlook any instances of abuse that happen to someone I DON’T like?

That’s literally chapter two of the same damn book.

And good god but am I tired of people harping endlessly on about how much they care about these topics while blithely doing nothing BUT reinforce abuse apologism tropes and narratives in the process of shining a spotlight on the abuse that happens to personal faves and personal faves only.

And this definitely falls into the same pattern of people who happily talk about taking a match to canon and watching it burn at the exact same time they make the deliberate choices to depict Dick as the one Batkid who just doesn’t truly get the others and never will, or is unrelatable or all these other things.....

And its like hey guys? 90% of the stuff you hold against Dick Grayson or cite as your reasons for not liking him? When we say those aren’t canon its not because we’re trying to be the canon police always showing up to bust up your fun and be like no no no you naughty people, that never happened so you’re not allowed to write that. No. That’s not a thing. That’s not what that is. What it ACTUALLY is, is us pointing out all the times and ways where when Dick comes across as a giant asshole in fics, and we’re like why tho, we’re just literally trying to understand where your interpretation of his character is coming from, and you guys are like bitch its canon, and we’re like okay no but thing is, its really actually not. Its us just being like hey, the vast majority of the stuff you say you dont like about the guy or the times you leave out all the stuff that you cite as what you DO like about other characters, its like....

But anyway....

[shinymooncolor]

Sweater weather chat #12 part 2

Hi all!!! 

As promised - here’s part two to chat #12!

First of all - massive thanks to @lumosinlove for giving us this world! 

Also thanks to @frombeauxbatons for giving me ideas, support and just generally letting me vent and rant <3 

the amazing @paulian03 cleverly came up with Sirius giving the boys the nickname O’Knutzy in the story and that features both in this chat and the next. :) 

link to part 1 here :) 

So, 

Sirius is hiding in a closet. Remus is sarcastic. Kris is worried. So much love for single dad Kris <3. Dumo wants to call PETA. Blizzard doesn't judge. Olli has opinions. Olli is the best. Timmy is offended. Alice is a boss. Finn has ideas. They involve glitter and rainbows. Mental health awareness is important! Natalie is precious. We establish that consent is EVERYTHING! 

Sweater weather chat #12 part 2

--

Tuesday 2.54 pm 

Sirius <3: re!!!!!! Help. I’m in the green closet. 

Remus ❤️: I’m not gonna make a joke. But. It’s right there. Which green closet? I lost you around the beds. Thought you were behind me. How’re you sneaking away so quietly? 

Sirius <3: someone put it on Twitter. That I’m here. These ladies followed me. Hat to throw my hat down on the floor as a way to distract them. Never seeing that again 😭 

Remus ❤️: sneaky....... you could just sign their bras and get on with your life.

Sirius <3: really? Sarcasm. I was being hunted by cougars re. It’s scary. Help me.

Remus ❤️: alright. Send me a pic. 

Sirius <3: *pic* 

Remus ❤️: I sent you to get a lamp. You ended up on the first floor somehow? In the kids section. And no we’re not buying that massive shark. 

Sirius <3: it’s for Ava. 🥺

Remus ❤️: really? 

Sirius <3: she told me Jackie is her favorite (I assume Jackie is Nado?) and I need to be the favorite. Logan already beat me with the Dumais’ kids. I need to win somewhere. 

Remus ❤️: and bribing her is the way?

Sirius <3: of course it is. How else? Can’t dazzle her with my hockey or money or fame. Need some real firepower and a big shark is a winner. 

Remus ❤️: I’m here now. Which closet are you in? 

——

Tuesday 4.31 pm

Nadotheman: guess who’s trending on twitter for hooking up in Ikea.

Blizzard: my first guess is always you? But as you’re texting you’re either oddly proud or it’s not you. Kuny? 

RussianGod: not me 

Timmyforrealz: @blizzard you’re not even thinking about me? Could totally have been me. Nado not the only one who’s got crazy girl skills. 

Ollibear: skills? Buddy you’ve had a three month drought. 

Timmyforrealz: DONT listen to Olli. He’s a baby. He’s still a little virgin. 

Ollibear: first of all. There’s nothing wrong with not being into sex. Asexuality is a valid thing. Also I’m not a Virgin. I just prefer a partner who either has no idea who I am or likes me for me. 

Ollibear: also, the three of you are easy @russiangod @nadotheman @timmyforrealz. You literally sell out for a pat on the ass and a wink. I could get with either of you with very little effort. 

Nadotheman: oi! I’m not easy. I have an acquired taste. 

Talkiewalkie: acquired taste = anything human with a pulse and the ability to consent. Literally. I’ve watched you pick up. 

RussianGod: as long as consent. What’s big deal? They say yes it’s ok. 

Prongstar: I JUST SAW THE PIC WTF?????

Prongstar: also, Olli? That’s the spirit. 

LeWilliam: cap?!!???? 

Logantremblayzzz: whattttt 

Talkiewalkie: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA WELL YOU CERTAINLY CAME OUT THE CLOSET..... LITERALLY

CarbO’Hara: damn!!! I was gonna say that 

Newt-leo: I said it first. You just type like a madman.

Krisvolley: is that the shark you dropped off for Ava? 

DumoDad: better call peta. Poor shark. 

Siriusly: it’s not whAt it looks like. Someone tweeted I was in there and the cougars descended upon me. I had to hide. Someone actually ripped my shirt and Remus was gone to look at pillows. I had to hide. It was scary. 

Blizzard: so you didn’t do a quickie in Ikea with a plushie shark watching? 

Siriusly: no. We didn’t, also, sirius had to put his shirt back on in a Hurry. Someone did rip it (re here) 

Blizzard: I’m not judging. Whatever makes your skates fly cap. Never had Re as an exhibitionist tho . 

Siriusly: he’s not. We didn’t do anything. Some lady ripped my shirt and I hid in the closet while the nice Ikea girl distracted them with some sort of family offer I think or free ice cream whatever. But they’d actually ripped my shirt. Re helped me put it back on... you guys are idiots. 

Logantremblayzzz: heheheh whatever you say. 

Krisvolley: so you didn’t do nasty things to or near the shark my daughter is now refusing to give up? She’s named it fluffy. I’m worried. She said it’s just smiling? Should I be worried? 

Siriusly: ew no of course not. Promise. 

Nadotheman: sure. Also I see what you’re doing cap. I’m favorite. Back off.😫

Siriusly: no idea what you mean. JACKIE 

Blizzard: Jackie? That’s cute. How’re you today Jackie? 😘

Nadotheman: shut up kasey. Or I’m gonna spank youuuu 

Krisvolley: you guys do realize she’s literally calling whoever gives in to her whims and tantrums her favorite right? Also I’m her dad. I’ll always be her number 1! ❤️

Nadotheman: awww we know. Best single dad!!! 

Siriusly: we’re not trying to steal her kris! You’re doing amazing! 

Ollibear: yeah man she’s so lucky she’s got you!!! 

Blizzard: we love you kris 💖💖💖

—-

Wednesday 1.33

Alice: alright. Ikea confirmed that there was a situation involving fans and we were able to mostly control the narrative. You have to prepare for some chirps and a few memes. 

Sirius: what’s a meme? 

Alice: I swear to god sometimes you’re a grandpa stuck in a young man’s body. Ask the rookies. 

Sirius: you’re really mean. 

Alice: I’m also really good at my job. So suck it up captain. You’re a hockey god. I’m a PR god. We work together and magic happens.

Sirius: I’d think that was flirting but I’ve seen you make heart eyes at frank. So. We’re good right? I swear I won’t roll my eyes for the next, like, three interviews 

Alice: you better not love. And yes, frank is rather into me, isn’t he? Time I put him out of his misery, I think. 

Sirius: good luck! (To frank) 

Alice: I’ll tell him 😜

—- 

Finn: hey Alice!! 

Alice: O’Hara, how can I help? 

Finn: I just had an idea ok? 

Alice: I hope it’s better than take your dog to work day. 

Finn: that was a great idea. Not my fault that skates and jersey are easily confused for chew toys. 

Finn: but I thought we could do a charity skate or something? (Need your brain here) so all Star was a massive success so maybe we could do like a charity thing soon and get money for like lgbt+ mental health awareness right? Like. Cap is of course new to this but I can speak up, my brother is happy to support too and I bet the team would too! We could invite young people on the ice and do like a you can play thing? I know it’s not pride but like. We could wear rainbows and glitttee and????  I really wanna support cap!! 

Alice: I like your enthusiasm and the idea. Give me a few days with my team and we can work on something? I also believe congratulations are in order? For your and your boys? 

Alice: also. you typed about 100 “like” in there. I’m worried about the state of the American school system. You're a Harvard graduate.... 

Finn: I love you! I’m terrified of you but I also love you and thanks. I want to get us jerseys saying O’Knutzy? That’s cute right. 

Alice: it’s easy to make happen but Finn, maybe sit down with your boys and heather first ok? Maybe cap too. Coming out is a lot and I want to make sure you’re okay with the consequences. There’s a lot of bigoted people out there and it breaks my heart I can’t protect you better than I do! 

Finn; hey we know you’ve got our back! 

Alice: I’ll see what I can do. Is the team ok with this? 

Finn: yeah most of them I’ve asked and the rest will follow I’m sure. 😀

Alice: you’re a good kid! I’ll do my best! 

Finn: 😘😘😘

Alice: I’d say that’s inappropriate but I know you mean well! 

——

Finn: NAT!!! She said she’ll look into it! 

Nat: I love you finn and we’re gonna make this event explode in a shower of glitter, love and rainbows. 

Finn: 💖🏳️‍🌈💖🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Nat: 😘 also sent you some stuff on email about poly. 

Finn: wait? You and kasey???

Nat: No but I’m a musician baby, me being in a het relationship is the weird thing in our community 😜

Finn: maybe I hang with the wrong crowds. 

Nat: hopeless hockey boys ❤️

Finn: you’re dating one. 

Nat: I know. And I ship your poly arrangement harder than fangirls on tumblr. If anyone says anything tell me and I’ll relieve them of their knee caps

Finn: I get why you and kasey works. His threats are also oddly specific. He made the Boston rat cry when he detailed his imminent death via goalie pads. It was eerie. 

Nat: that’s my man 😍

Finn: weirdos. I’ll let you know when Alice is back ❤️

Nat: 😜🏳️‍🌈💖🙏🏻🌍😇

[i-amusemyself]

All Lets Get Personal.

Thanks anon!! My depressed ass needed something to do

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

It really depends on my mood tbh. But judging by my YouTube playlists:

Church- Fall out boy; Hopeless Wanderer- Mumford and Sons (its a jam okay?); Summertime- my chemical romance; so cold- ben cocks; this is me- keala settle and killing in the same- rage against the machine

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Lmao idk I dont have much of an interest in anyone atm. I still think itd be cool to meet kaitlyn alexander ig

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

You recognise each other the moment your eyes meet. It’s a question and answer book and the question is about soulmates or something

4: What do you think about most?

What it is I need to do to stop feeling anxious or stressed since it’s a daily battle

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“it was hillarious but I couldn’t say “lmao I’ve seen women take bigger” so I just let the conversation die but I was urging to show him a savage video and ruin him just to be right but then I stopped myself”

Yes, it is as bad in context as out of it.

Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Depends how warm it is tbh

What’s your strangest talent?

Talent? What’s that?? Idk I’m quite good at picking up languages super fast for some unknown reason (but i can forget them just as quick soo

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are hot hot hot they make me gay

Boys are hot hot hot they make me gay

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Nah, but I’m not major sad about it since that’d be so awkward

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Oh gosh um probably in the car the other day, canny remember which song it was tho

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I seriously hate water like to the point I chose my uni based on where the lakes were. I also hate stuffed toys with voice boxes. 

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Probably but I don’t remember

13: What’s your religion?

I’m an athiest

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking between indoor places

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind it! I’m not photogenic

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Ummmmmmm idk. I genuinly don’t know. I probably listen to five finger death punch most atm?

17: What was the last lie you told?

I said I was feeling good lmao

18: Do you believe in karma?

I don’t know, but I like to hope it does to make myself feel better 

19: What does your URL mean?

I think it’s pretty self explanatory

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

My greatest weakness? Probably my low opinion of myself or my associated jealousy.

My greatest strength? A few years ago I mightve said my resilience but I’m not sure I ever have that anymore. Idk, maybe my need to always keep improving as a person

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

See number 2 tbh

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Yah every time I have a bath

23: How do you vent your anger?

I send massive long rant paragraphs to my closest friends and try not to do anything stupid or unhealthy

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a pretty big collection of reaction images and memes

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

I hate both but video chatting is slightly better

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I suppose. I’m closer to being happy with them than I ever have been and that’s what matters.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

At this point I hate the sound of my alarm more than most things and I love... idk music. Does that count?

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I’d stood up for myself more?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I don’t know as I believe in ghosts but I’m fascinated by the people who do. As for aliens ofc they exist.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

I touch sofa. Both times. I’m sat on a sofa.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

I smell rabbit since he’s currently sat with me in a box. I got lonely.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Gosh I don’t know. I can’t really think of anywhere I’ve hated being, besides home sometimes. I don’t know, no where has been that bad since I always try to make the best of it.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Opposite eh? Lmaoooo

Okay I actually have quite a thing for the lead singer of motionless in white. Make of that what you will.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

To be happy, to go good and to die with as few regrets as possible

36: Define Art.

Fuck. Something visual this is made to be aesthetically pleasing or convey a message. I guess.

37: Do you believe in luck?

I’m not entirely sure what luck is. Maybe?

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Fekkin horrible, you wouldn’t know it’s spring. It’s grey and wet and windy and cold.

39: What time is it?

17:51

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I have a full license but haven’t actually driven since my test, so I haven’t had a chance to crash.

41: What was the last book you read?

When breath becomes air. It’s about being a doctor.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

I adore it yaas

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Char, (wholemeal) chorlo and Thot lmao

44: What was the last film you saw?

Love, Simon

Go see it, it’s gay and beautiful!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Idk, I broke my humorous after dislocating my elbow once. But that was ages ago

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Hundreds lmao thats my childhood right there

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I’m too depressed to have much of an interest in anything tbh. Even when I’m not I don’t tend to get That Invested.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Bisexual, ig. Though saying it never feels right for some reason.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

A few, a few. One being that I was a lesbian years before even I knew I wasn’t straight. 

50: Do you believe in magic?

Not really but who knows

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

The threshold for grudges is pretty high but if I have one I’ll be bitter til the day I die

52: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I swing wildly between saving loads and spending loads. Healthy.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

Um I mean I paid the deposit on a house, does that count?

55: Love or lust?

Love, for sure

56: In a relationship?

Yeah XD

57: How many relationships have you had?

This is like my third proper one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

At home on my tod again, revising

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Nah

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Yuup

62: What’s your favourite animal?

I love all the animals I can’t pick a favourite. I love alpacas, chimps, gorrillas, orangutans, lizards, elephants, octopuses etc etc

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Excessive praying and reblogging lucky posts

64: Where is your best friend?

Tbh I have multiple, one in the next village, one 6 hours south and one 4000 miles away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

Christ um, people I spam with likes most are probably @oneshappyplace @apricot-el @only-slightly-dangerous @succeeding and @setheverman

66: What is your heritage?

I’m white as a toilet so my family probably murdered a lot of innocent people

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Umm I was skyping my boyf and playing a game online with him

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Trump

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Yeah, haven’t most people?

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I like to think so yeah. Though I do have a lot of breakdowns so maybe without that part. @ my friends I apologise

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Help the dog. Though realistically I probably couldn’t do it alone, so would call someone over to help and leave asap to not be so late.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I think I’d tell the people closest to me, yeah. I don’t know what I’d do though. Probably book as many flights as possible and visit all the countries I’ve always wanted to go to. I guess I’d probably write my will and organise a funeral too. I don’t think I’d be too afraid, just, idk, sad? I don’t want to disappear to nothingness yet, even if I won’t know when it happens.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Argh that’s horrid. I mean trust is essential for all relationships imo. But if I had no love at all in my life I doubt I’d live very long at all. So... love? No wait,,, trust. Yeah trust.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men. It reminds me of a school trip years ago to Belgium that was such a good time

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

8008

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Well, trust ig, being able to talk about anything, a good balance of affection and roasting. Idk

77: How can I win your heart?

Be kind, be funny and have layers.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I suppose so 

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

The decision to reply to the message that appeared in my inbox right before I was going to end it. There were plenty, but I only opened that one. The person who sent it changed my life.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

7

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Either a pun or something ominous. Maybe both.

82: What is your favourite word?

Probably sorry since I say it a lot

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love, followed quickly by the mental image of a dissected heart

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

I amuse myself. Gotta keep up that brand sponning.

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Don’t feel like dancing by the scissor sisters lmao

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Black, red and purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

Just a galaxy

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald. Trump. When in close proximity to Mike Pence too.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Besides “what are your credit card details”? Idk, perhaps a question about the flaws of the people closest to me, since they’re something I wouldn’t want them to read.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Lie there still for a good 5 minutes just to make sure. Maybe chuck a pillow across the room to see if they attack it. Then go fetch my phone and call whoever will pick up to ask wtf to do.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

The ability to fly probably. It’d help stop me being late and transport is so expensive these days.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

A half hour period of the time me and my friend spent outside laughing our heads off and covered in glitter when I visited her in the states last summer

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Damn, only one? Lmao catch me ranking my traumas to try to answer this question. I’ll erase getting flooded and being made homeless I think lmao

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Probably P!nk since she was low key my gay awakening

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I quite fancy going to amsterdam rn, or failing that, copenhagen

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Only as a little kid

98: Ever been on a plane?

Plenty of times yeah, I love it

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I wish there was some way I could convince all the dictators, extremists and right wingers to just fekkin stop tbh. Centrists can stay but theyre on thin ice.

[closedspeciesdrama]

That rant tho....

That griffsnuff rant/status was just one big pity party. Everything that has adversely affected bagbeans is squarely to be blamed on the way it is run. It just grew too big too fast. Paired with troublesome mods and unchecked trading for super inflated prices have created a breeding ground for shady dealings.

First things first: She didn't have to take the amount of customs she did, and then on top of that, prioritizing gifts over them to the point of just completing her list by the timeframe she gave herself. This is no ones fault but her own. You know what you can handle and you plan accordingly, this is sloppy planning, and of course it created a stressful work environment.

As for the MYO explanation...

"I dont believe in taking money for a title with not doing anything in return" 

What is so different about this when you allow people to buy beans just to tack on hundreds of dollars to the purchase price when reselling them, many times the only reason they get purchased, it's no wonder things like this attract the wrong type of people, the last kind you want when you're trying to run a fair group and business. You not addressing this or even caring about it is what is fostering this behavior, because if the owner doesn't care, why should the people doing it care? I'm not against being able to sell at an higher price than what it was purchased for, but for the right reasons like extra artwork and things like that. Even then it's up to what you're willing to pay, or walk away from. If you don't want to allow anyone else to make bagbeans then quit crying about the amount of work you give yourself.

People are mad about the rewards and they have a right to be. Yes it's a large group, but that is something you have to keep in mind when you hold events like these. Once again, sloppy planning has left people fuming. You are aware of how popular bb's are so you know that you are going to have a massive amount of entries. The workload should be divided up between the mods, even giving out little prizes like something that they can use on their bean, something you don't even have to personally mess with, is better than nothing. Some people are going to be pissed regardless, but the group needed to work together more to run this even taking their share of prizes if need be.

All this headache is by your own hand, and trying to pass the blame to the community is ridiculous, even for you. Bagbeans have become such a cash cow that it's all you ever do anymore, just like kandy-cube. Your galleries are full of nothing but griffia characters and countless characters and designs that you've sold. Nothing is important any more unless it makes you money. Before everyone jumps on this screaming the same old "you deserve to make money/be paid for your work", it's not even in the same league of what i'm trying to say.

This whole thing about agendas and joining/participating in something because you love it is such a self serving statement when that love for your community has made you money hand over fist and continues to do so. If bagbeans hadn't achieved the monetary success it has, it wouldn't be a  priority to you, no matter how much love the community had for it. You gave up your job to run bagbeans, so the income it generates has you sitting pretty damn nice financially speaking to be able to do that. Like a job, it's going to be work, no matter how much it was enjoyable before.

For a community you say you love, you really don't care about the many things wrong with it, or really take the complaints seriously. Partly because I think if you actually fixed the issues it has, it wouldn't attract the attention or profit it does.

Long story short: quit blaming the community for the problems and stress you chose to take on yourself, and work to make it better rather than harping on them for your shortcomings.