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crazy4myself · 4 years ago

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No Harm List | Pt. 6

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 7,500

Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy's life, not knowing that he is one of the most powerful crime lord's heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.

Warnings: cussing, mentions of drugs, description of stalking/being fallowed

Genre: Gang/mafia AU, romance, angst, violence, fluff

Rating: 17 N/C

Banner Credit: @mindays

Beta Reader: @punkisnotdead2318

Big fat shout out to Katie for being my beta reader, and standing by me during the making of this chapter. I’m not joking when I say I wrote this chapter about 3 times. As well as completely rewrote my outline for the entier story and Katie read every dang word as well as gave me wonderful feedback and some brilliant ideas. I love and appreciate her so much <3

A/n: I ended up splitting the chapter in half again. I apologize in advance for the ending.

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Suga sighed in annoyance when he opened the garage door and spotted J-Hope underneath the hood of yet another car. The sound of clanging tools and revving engines finally drove him to the brink of his patience. He came down to investigate, thinking it was maybe some annoying underling who was excited to see the collection of cars for the first time.

But of course, it wasn't, and now he can't even yell at them to be quiet.

Hoseok has been working non-stop for the past two weeks, both at the mechanic shop and for BTS.

At first, RM and Suga were thrilled, he took on two jobs in the past week, actually asked for the assignments. But now that it was his day off at the mechanic shop and he was out of work to do for BTS, so J-Hope has been busying himself working on every car in BTS's garage. And it was driving Yoongi crazy.

"J-Hope, you're going to break something if you don't stop poking around," Suga offered as a greeting, making his way over to him.

J-Hope looked up from the engine and flashed a brilliant smile. Suga used to wonder what he did to deserve being on the receiving end of one so bright.

"I'll fix it if I do." J-Hope teased before turning back to the vehicle.

Suga sighed again in frustration, he wanted to order the man to go home and take a proper day off, but he could see now that J-Hope was at his wit's end. J-Hope always avoided his problems by drowning himself in his work.

He's like a shark. If he stopped swimming, he'd sink.

Why can't he just drink like the rest of us?

Suga thought to himself begrudgingly as he made his way into the carport. Instead, Hoseok had to tinker and fix every little thing in the garage.

Suga knew he should probably let his friend be, leave him to cope and process whatever it was that was bugging him. Still, he couldn't stand the thought of J-Hope test driving another car around the property. All week he's heard nothing but engines revving.

"C'mon, we need to talk," Suga said, nodding his head towards the house. J-Hope froze, looking up from his tinkering with a slight frown, the one that flashed his dimples.

"What's up, you never wanna talk," J-Hope questioned hesitantly. Suga rolled his eyes, ignoring the small jab.

"I got a job that we can look at, and you need to eat something," Yoongi said simply as he headed for the door.

Work, of course.

Hoseok willed his face to stay neutral, to conceal his disappointment as he grabbed the towel over his shoulder and wiped at his hands and face of any moter oil.

It was always just business with Yoongi.

They stayed in a comfortable silence as they made their way into the kitchen. J-Hope sat on a bar stool, feeling too grimey from the motor oil stains on his shirt to sit in one of Jin's nice dining chairs.

Suga quickly pulled some leftovers out of the fridge, piling the plate with generous servings for J-Hope before popping it in the microwave. He decided, last minute, to make a quick serving for himself since he couldn't remember consuming anything but coffee since last night.

"Alright, so what's up?" Yoongi finally asked once they both had their food, and he took his seat next to Hoseok.

"Nothing, why?" Hoseok questioned, surprised. Yoongi shot him a look calling him out on his bullshit.

"You're avoiding something. I don't know if it's one of the guys, or yourself or what, but you only get like this when something's bothering you," Yoongi said, laying out all of Hoseok's feelings and vulnerabilities in front of his meal.

Hoseok's dimples flashed as he pouted and tried to force down his meal over the growing lump in his throat, but he struggled to quell the emotion in his chest.

Only you and Yoongi know him this well.

Know how to read the small tells that slip out when he tries to hide his feelings.

But Yoongi is Yoongi, and once things picked up for BTS, Hoseok assumed he had lost the ability to know when he was struggling. He felt like Yoongi was too busy to care.

After you walked out of his apartment, he's felt so lost and alone. He never thought someone would bother to read or check in on him again.

With a sigh, Hoseok finally gave in, "It's Y/N, we haven't talked in over two weeks. I'm worried she won't ever speak to me again now that she knows about..." Hoseok let his words trail off, and Yoongi leaned a little closer, pressing his knee against his friends in nonverbal understanding.

"I get it, but I also don't think she's mad at you...well," Yoongi hesitated, then stressed, "I don't think she'll be mad at you forever. She seems like she misses you too." he amended quietly, and it was true.

Yoongi sometimes spends the afternoon in the bakery for a change of scenery. He's heard the way your voice changes tone when you tell Jimin a story about Hoseok. Yoongi honestly felt a little jealous that he had no idea who you were, but the two were obviously important to each other.

"Maybe it's time you just reach out. Ya know, talk?" Yoongi suggested, taking another bite of food.

Hobi grinned at him, "Min Yoongi, did you just tell me to go talk about my feelings?" he asked teasingly. Yoongi grunted, waving a hand in dismissal.

"It's obvious you're both miserable, and you're both unbearably sappy. I'll suggest anything to stop seeing the two of you mope around and to get you out of my garage," he grumbled.

Hoseok smiled at him as he took another bite.

Yoongi waited until he finished his meal and busied himself with cleaning up before he finally asked, "Why didn't you ever tell me about her?"

Hoseok looked at his elder, surprised, a bit of his lunch nearly slipping out of his mouth. "Pardon?"

"Ella, you guys have history, how come I never heard about her?" he clarified.

"You don't need to know every person I spend time with," Hoseok started, but Yoongi shot him a look that argued otherwise. "If you did, you would already know," Hoseok challenged. Yoongi shrugged as he busied himself with wiping down his bowl,

"I don't want to pry in your personal life too much, you deserve space," Yoongi muttered.

Funny, because the only thing Hoseok ever wanted from Yoongi was a lack of space.

"Didn't realize you respected me that much," Hoseok said, a little surprised.

"You're one of the six people I'll ever trust in this lifetime," Suga pushed, a little hurt that Hoseok was so willingly blind to how much he cared about him.

J-Hope again worked to keep his face neutral. Of course, he was, they were the inner circle, the inner circle would be nothing if they didn't have trust. They could accomplish nothing. And in the end, that's what connected Suga and J-hope, BTS, their family, their brotherhood, nothing else. It seemed the only feelings they would ever share with each other was mutual respect.

"I didn't want her to know about BTS, and it was easier to draw that line if you guys didn't know about her either." J-Hope offered simply, poking at the last of his lunch with his fork.

Suga paused to look at him, and J-Hope could see the hesitation on his face as he asked, "How long have you two been together?"

He nearly spits out his food, "What? We're not-"

"Obviously not right now, but I think you'll work it out. You seem to be really good for each other,"

"Yoongi, she's my dead sister's best friend, she's my best friend. I could never- WE could never. There are no feelings", Hoseok said, scrambling to recover.

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut and sighed, "Hobi, I know you want to keep this part of your life a secret. And I'm sorry BTS is taking that from you. But Jungkook has feeling for her, the dumb ass isn't even trying to hide it. If you guys have a history or a future, we need to shut it down before this little crush, ya know, crushes him."

Yoongi let his sentence fizzle off awkwardly as he heard the front door open then close. Immediately regretting starting such an emotional discussion in such a public part of the house.

Hoseok blinked, his mind had blanked after hearing Yoongi call him Hobi, the elder rarely used such endearing terms, but slowly the buzzing in his ears lifted, and he processed what he was saying.

Yoongi really doesn't care if he was single or not, the little bubble of hope that crawled up his chat popped before it could even surface.

He was worried about Jungkook. And the protege child's feelings.

Feelings he got after dragging Y/N into the dangerous world, Hoseok tried so hard to keep her from.

Hoseok balled his hands into fists.

"I don't have love for Ella beyond seeing her as a sister. I see her the same way I see Jungkook. I care about her safety and feelings, too." Hoseok growled as all his emotion surfaced, it was too much at once. Yoongi blanched as he saw the mountain he unearthed.

"And so what if Jungkook gets feelings for her, maybe we should tell him he doesn't need to fall in love with the first girl he has a conversation with. Maybe we shouldn't get her fired from her old job, and get her a new job so she can be more a part of his daily life. Maybe we should teach him he can't get everything he wants. Have you ever considered that perhaps she'll reject him even if I'm not an obstacle? "

"Hoseok-" Yoongi started quietly.

"Don't," Hoseok hated how he felt the knot form in his throat, hated how he could feel the emotions getting the best of him.

You hated him.

Yoogi was indifferent to him.

Hell, he couldn't stand himself right now.

And yet, Jungkook was coming out on top overall of the mess he made. And Hoseok couldn't even bring himself to resent the boy too much. He loved his little brother and wanted the best for him. He just hated that the best was everything he wanted.

But that didn't keep the fire out of his words.

"I did everything I could to protect her. I lied to you and Namjoon and Jin. She doesn't deserve to be a part of this, Suga, she's too good for any of us. I don't want him to have her. I don't deserve to have her,"

"J-Hope," Suga hissed, cutting him off as a tear rolled down the younger's cheek. Hoseok watched Yoogi's eyes soften in what could have been concern if they weren't also wide with panic as they flicked between him and the door.

"Hyung?" Jungkook's voice asked softly.

Hoseok felt his body go cold as he turned and saw Jungkook standing in the doorway, looking like he'd been hit.

"Jungkookie,"

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It was a mostly quiet afternoon at the bakery. Which gave you plenty of time to let your mind wander.

Hoseok had text you last night, after Jungkook had left, asking if you guys could meet up and maybe grab a meal. It was the first direct text of wanting to make amends between the two of you so far.

You hadn't replied yet. Because you still had no clue what to expect when you finally saw each other again. Should you guys talk about everything, should you avoid it and try to go back to normal? You missed him, and you wanted to be able to forgive him.

But the wound left from his lies was still tender, and you didn't know if it was one that would heal over time.

You tried not to dwell too hard on the thought that he was a killer. That he might have taken mothers and fathers and children from loving families. You try to tell yourself anyone who crossed BTS must truly be bad.

After getting to know the other members of the inner circle, you could make yourself believe they were good people. Maybe there was some good in taking a little evil out of this world.

You laughed at yourself in disgust. You were a doctor, what did you believe in other than the moral foundation that life was priceless. It should never be taken. You wanted to give people as many chances as they could in this world.

You lost your mother at a young age to a sickness similar to Hoseok's mom. While your memories of her were starting to get foggy with time, you do remember watching her fight.

She fought until the day her doctor told her it was a lost cause, and then you watched her slowly fade away. That doctor sapped your mother of her hope. And while you had no way of knowing if your mom could have maybe beaten the sickness, hearing those doctor's words almost hurt more than losing her.

You always wondered, what would have happened if you had a doctor that believed in her? If your mom was still a part of your life? You dad remarried, and while your stepmom wasn't inherently a bad person, she was pretty supportive of you at times, you always wondered if your life would have been different if your mom stayed in the picture. If you would be different.

You were so lost in the swirl of your consciousness that you didn't even hear the ring of the bell when Taehyung entered the store.

You didn't even notice when he slipped past you behind the counter where, you were busying yourself with mindlessly stacking coffee cups at the coffee station. Until he walked up to you, strawberry tart in hand and said, "Earth to Dorito Breath," as he waved his hand in front of you.

You blinked rapidly before grunting in displeasure at the name.

You 'earned' the name Dorito Breath your first week of work. You were running a little late for your shift but didn't have time to grab a meal, so you settled with a bag of chips to munch on as you walked to work.

Only it was the family-sized kind, not the little singlets that would probably be more appropriate for an on-the-go setting. Taehyung and Jimin didn't let you hear the end of it when you entered the bakery, fingertips coated thoroughly in sweet chili dust.

When you tried to defend yourself saying you were hungry, their only response was you worked at a bakery, and Jin let you snack on most of the pastries and sandwiches for free. Jimin gave you a long lecture on how you could have fed yourself something with nutrition instead of dusty cardboard for lunch.

Since then, Tae had dubbed you Dorito Breath, claiming your potent air would scare off the customers when you took their order.

His comment had been effective enough for you to self-continuously munch on a few mint leaves throughout your shift.

"What do you want?" You grumbled, watching as he picked every strawberry from the tart before slipping it back into the display.

Unsanitary asshole.

"Ahh, did your mother teach you those manners?" You hissed as you grabbed the tart from the case before a customer walked in.

Taehyung smirked at you, "My mother gave up on teaching me pretty early in life."

You rolled your eyes, "I think I would too if you were my child,"

A change in emotion flashed across his face too quickly for you to identify. You decided to change the topic before you risked hitting a sore spot. You and Hobi weren't the only ones with family issues in this city. In fact, it was a running theme in Alcorn.

"What do you want, V? Jimin isn't even here," you sighed, leaning against the countertop.

"I can't just come by to get a cup of coffee?" Taehyung asked in a mocked, hurt tone. Your eyes rolled again.

"No, because you don't even like coffee, you put so much cream and sugar in it, it looks white," you teased.

"I'm sorry for not enjoying your bitter bean juice, it's a mockery to my delicate taste buds. But at the end of the day, I need to stay awake as long as possible," he added profoundly with a shrug.

"Why don't you just drink energy drinks?" you asked, and Taehyung fixed you with a look, the predatory kind that made you freeze in place and made your heart beat flutter. He chewed his gum a little obnoxiously, smirking as your eyes fell to his lips.

"Because my dear Ella, you don't sell energy drinks here, and I need every excuse to see you," he replied in his deep baritone.

You huffed, turning your back at him to effectively break from his trance, "You're so full of shit," your murmur as you continue stacking the cups. He chuckled as he made his way beside you, standing so close you could feel the heat radiate off his arms, helping you make the stacks even.

After a moment, he asked softly, "Have you talked to Hobi recently?"

You looked to him, taken a little off guard by the personal question, "Not recently," you hesitated for a moment before adding, "I don't know what to say."

Tae studied you for a moment, you could see the conflict in his eyes as he said, "He cares about you, and in the end, he did what he did to protect you."

"It's not just the lying," you sighed, leaning against the counter. "I just, I don't know what to think. He's killed people Tae," you said softly, worried that saying it too loud would somehow trigger another loss of life. Taehyung's eyes darkened at your comment.

"Ella, you have a right to need time to process everything, but I must remind you, it's Alcorn. This city is corrupt and filled with terrible people. If you're not made of money, you have to kill to survive."

He took in your shocked silence as his cue to continue, "Look, I would like to tell you that not everyone in BTS is a killer, I would like to tell you that the people we do kill are the bad ones that deserve to die. We strive for that, but at the end of the day, we have our motives and family to protect. I would like to tell you any kind of good news that might make you feel safe and help your moral compass see true North, but I can't because that would make me a liar."

You shook your head in disbelief, "That's terrible,"

He smiled a feral grin, "We are terrible sweet, Ella. Alcorn and everything in it is terrible."

He took in your fearful expression, and he sighed as he found himself caught up in the moment and the bitter disdain for this city.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and when he opened them, they were soft. His whole expression changed to a more comforting one.

In the back of your mind, you remember Jimin telling you how on top of drug dealing, Tae was an excellent spy, he could change faces like someone changes their clothes. Knowing that did nothing to prepare you for the whiplash you got from experiencing it up close.

"I'm sorry I don't want to scare you. I just want you to understand that killing isn't the worst thing you can do to people in this wretched city. I want to let you know that even in gang standards, Hoseok is as good as they come. You're both miserable without the other, and it's super annoying for everyone else, so please just give him a chance." Tae said, and despite the harsh words, his tone was honeyed, and there was warmth in his eyes.

"I just can't accept that killing people is a normal thing because you tell me it is. He's taken lives, and I'm not okay with that," you argued. V's expression soured.

"Yeah, well, it's really hypocritical of you to turn you back on one gangster only to cozy up with another. I'm sure it's fun, working at our bakery and asking us all about our little gang. It must seem exciting since we censor anything that might upset you. Jungkook and Jimin can sell you the Robin Hood narrative all they want, but at the end of the day, we're a gang." V hissed.

You steeled your expression, "If you want me to forgive Hobi, why are you trying to scare me away?"

Taehyung faltered, not expecting your reaction, and you smiled slightly as you saw his mask slip.

"Hoseok deserves to be forgiven, he's made sacrifices for you, and just wants you safe. You two are family. It's a mockery for you to be mad at him and then prance around with the rest of us when we're guilty of the same sins," he explained.

Taehyung made a mistake, he didn't even know why he said anything to you.

It's true he wanted you to talk to Hoseok; his brother was miserable and driving everyone insane. But Taehyung would rather things go back to the way they were before you met Jungkook.

Jungkook, who spent the whole morning sulking, and won't talk to anyone after skipping two classes and spending the entire evening with you. It was obviously dangerous for you to get involved with BTS, they hadn't known you for a month, and you were already stirring up trouble.

But V did know you.

He's seen the hunger in your eyes when you slip into the alley behind the Mexican restaurant off-campus. So desperate to claw your way to success, you would turn to some back alley stimulants to give you an upper hand.

He's seen you at parties too. He gets invited to frat row often and always packs the good stuff. You don't go there anymore, but he's seen the way you acted when you did. You never fully let loose, you were smart and kept your wits about you. You were so good at seeming like you drank or smoked more than you did, it was almost practiced. You always sat back and watched as drunk guys fell over themselves trying to get you to go upstairs with them. And you would string them along all night, dancing and dodging before you went home early.

You liked to feel desired, but most importantly, you liked to feel in control.

Tae understood because he was the same way. He wonders what you would do to BTS, what you would do for BTS if you fell a little deeper into their world. You were motivated and had ambition. If you could only get off your righteous high horse, RM could probably give that ambition a lethal direction.

Or you could wreck them from the inside out, and that wasn't a gamble he was willing to take despite how easily the other members have warmed up to you.

You smiled at him sweetly, but there was a challenge in your eye, "I'm confused, do you want me to forgive Hoseok or be scared of you?" you asked.

In a perfect world, Taehyung could have both.

"Or," you added quickly, "you want me to forgive Hoseok, but you don't want me to hang out with Jungkook. I'm sorry I didn't know he was taken." you mocked pressing a delicate hand to your chest in astonishment.

Again, in a perfect world...

"That's not it," Taehyung huffed, "I just want you to understand what you're getting into by asking all these questions."

Neither of you believed his excuse.

You open your mouth to deliver your retort, but the chime of the bell as the front door opens cut you off. Tae watched curiously as your whole demeanor immediately changed, a sweet smile plastering itself on your face.

"Welcome to Sugar Daddy, what can I get for you?" You greeted in a chipper voice as the customer made his way to the counter.

You recognized the man to be named Marcus, he was a usual at the bakery, known to sometimes sit at one of the tables up front for hours at a time. Just watching the people on the street pass by or watch you work. It was odd because he didn't even bring a computer with him to pretend to do some work. He just came here to people-watch, you assumed.

At first, it made you uncomfortable, but you've grown used to it by now. Marcus was polite, tipped decently, and never attempted to flirt with you. So now you've grown used to his presence in the shop.

But today something seemed off, Marcus seemed off. He was stiff as he rambled his order, followed by giving you the wrong amount of change. You noticed the man wasn't really looking at you. His eyes were focused on V, who was lingering behind you during the interaction.

You glanced over curiously as you turned to make his coffee, surprised to see V was glowering at him as well. The two were fixed in some kind of staring match, and the tension in the air was beginning to grow thick.

You cleared your throat casually as you passed V to get to the creamer, kicking him in the shin to break his stare.

"Hey, what's your problem?" He demanded under his breath, turning to you but not breaking his stare from Marcus,

"What's your problem?" You hissed back as you put a lid on the to-go cup.

You forced a smile on your face as you turned back to your customer, handing him his drink, and wishing him a good day. He nodded, not breaking his stare at the gangster behind you before turning and making his way out the shop instead of taking a seat at his usual table.

"What the hell was that?" You demanded as soon as the man cleared the store, "I thought the two of you were about to whip it out and have a pissing contest, he's a customer, you can't just glare at him like that!"

Taehyung looked at you with mild disinterest, unphased by your accusations.

"Does he come here often? You know his name?" he asked, nodding his head at the door where Marcus let himself out.

"Yeah, we have a lot of usuals," you replied, confused.

"Does Jimin or Jin know he comes here a lot, do they see him?" he asked.

You shifted your weight from foot to foot, and Taehyung's eyes followed your movement, reading your tells of discomfort as you grew uneasy by his questions, "I assume so?" you answered unsurely, "I mean, if I'm here they're usually in the back, but I assume he comes here every day, they must see him when they're working the front."

"Interesting." Was all Taehyung gave as a response.

You immediately put your guard up, "Why, do you know him or something? Is he.. Bad?" You asked hesitantly, not quite sure what you were implying.

Taehyung chucked, "Bad? Everyone is bad sweet Ella,"

You rolled your eyes at the non-answer. He's been toying with you since he got here, and you were getting fed up by it. He scared one of your customers away for christ sakes.

"Why are you really here, V? To try and be my therapist for the day? I know you're not here to be my friend and ask about my feelings." You huffed.

Tae raised an eyebrow at you in response to the fed-up tone in your voice. You looked at him unamused and tightened your arms across your chest to stand your ground.

Finally, he sighed in defeat, "I'm here to send you home. But I will say, I asked about your feelings because you mean a lot to Hoseok, so by association, I guess you kind of mean something to me, and I just wanted to check and make sure you were good. I'm sorry if I spoke too harshly," his voice trailed off, and in the back of his mind, he wondered why he apologized, and why did he mean it?

You tried not to dwell on the 'I care about you' bit, and how the thought of it warmed your insides a little.

You were still recovering from the cold eyes and harsh words he gave you earlier, but you didn't hold it against him. You saw his attempt to scare you, to let you know scarier and darker people than Hoseok roamed these streets, and perhaps you shouldn't hold your best friend's sins against him.

"Why are you sending me home?" You forced yourself to ask through the fog of thoughts.

"I'm here to relieve you of your shift. I have business to attend to with some customers this afternoon, and I think it best if we were alone," Taehyung explained.

Your brows furrowed, Jin warned you that your hours could be unstable from time to time, that members of the inner circle may send you home so they could use the store for business.

"Don't worry, you'll be compensated for working the entire shift," he assured, although the thought never occurred to you. You had a burning curiosity to ask what he could possibly be up to. If he was using the bakery to deal drugs, were some of the pastries maybe edibles?

Your thoughts swirled, you opened your mouth to ask, maybe argue, for him to let you stay, but he quickly sent you a slicing look that silenced any protest.

"Don't get it confused, just because I told you nicely, doesn't mean that this is an offer, It's an order," Taehyung clarifies coolly.

You stood in shock for a moment before nodding obediently, "I have a test I should probably study for anyways," you offered to maintain your pride.

"Good girl," he encouraged softly as you slipped off your apron and moved to gather your things from the back. Your cheeks burned slightly in embarrassment, and you shocked yourself with the submissive attitude.

They wanted you out of the loop for a reason, it was probably best you didn't know what went on when they wanted you gone.

You shouldn't pry.

You told yourself as you made your way back to the front.

Still, you couldn't stop yourself from "Are you sure you don't need any help?" You offered hesitantly as you passed the counter.

Tae smiled at you, "It's safest for you to go, Princess. In fact, why don't you get out of the 7th ward for a bit, maybe go study at the library for a few hours? Things might get a little rowdy on this side of town pretty soon," his tone was pleasant, but you saw the mischief in his eye and the warning came across clearly. You suddenly found yourself very flustered as you realized just how out of depth you were by spending time with these men.

"Yeah… I'll, uhh, go and study… cause, ya know, my test, tomorrow." You murmured in agreement under your breath as you started backing towards the shop entrance.

Taehyung flashed you a shit-eating grin as he dug his way under your skin, "Study hard, Princess," he offered in farewell as you turned and made your way out of the bakery.

You had four hours until your shift was supposed to end, and you decided that it probably was best to put in some time studying. You caught the next bus to your university, and headed for the library, trying your hardest to settle the unease in your stomach. You watched out the window the whole ride, wondering if you could see if there was anything off about the people roaming the streets.

You made it to the library and b-lined it right for the 5th floor- your haven of silence on campus. But for the first time in a while, you found it too quiet compared to the volume of your thoughts.

You told yourself you were caving for the sake of your test tomorrow. Hopefully, after responding, you'll be able to concentrate and finally study.

You reasoned as you slipped your phone out your backpack and opened your message to Hoseok, reading his offer over three more times, as if you could find some hidden meaning.

Finally, you responded saying you would grab dinner with him later today, and turned back to your textbook desperate to get something done.

You didn't make it an hour into studying before you were ready to give up, totally unfocused.

You sighed as you packed your things, deciding you needed a shower to clear your head before you talked to Hoseok. Ignoring Taehyung's previous warning to stay out of the 7th ward, you decided he was just trying to scare you as you rode the bus back to your apartment.

Luckily, the bus stop was right outside your complex, so within twenty minutes of mindlessly scrolling on your phone, you were back home.

You made your way upstairs, eyes still glued to your screen as you scrolled through your social media feeds, and nearly ran straight into your neighbor.

"Watch it!" You heard him hiss as he dodged you.

You shrunk back and looked up, frozen to see Dawson sneering at you; he held a trash bag in either hand, and you smiled apologetically for your distracted walking offense.

"Sorry," You said sheepishly, and he only scoffed as he pushed passed.

You watched him walk off, shocked. Dawson was typically super friendly to you. He was one of your more social neighbors, but something felt off about him today.

He had dark circles under his eyes, and his face looked like he was exhausted.

You are in no position to judge someone for letting themselves go when they're stressed.

You reminded yourself, and it was true.

You had barely made an effort to put on makeup since you and Hobi got in a fight. Your eyes were perpetually puffy from all the crying you were doing during your self made pity parties, where you made yourself watch cheesy Hallmark movies, unironically.

Dawson was probably just going through a hard time. And he has no reason to be kind to you when you almost made him spill trash juice all over himself.

Pushing the encounter out of your head, you unlocked your door and made your way into the apartment. Jeremy was there to greet you immediately, demanding attention.

And who were you to deny him?

You indulged in a few minutes of cuddles and pets with your new kitty, eager for comfort as you mentally prepared yourself for tonight's dinner with Hoseok.

After a while, you decided you needed a shower to clear your thoughts; you always did your best planning and emotional navigation in the shower. Not to mention, it's been a few days since your last one. You eyed the oily roots with a frown. You had tried to hide them with a cute bucket hat at work today, but you were painfully aware of the filth under your cap all day.

You let the hot water rain down your body and help your muscles unwind before you reached for the soap, pausing as you inspected the small green and yellow bar in your hand.

Hoseok always bought you boujee essential oil soap from the hipster soap shop down the street from Sugar Daddy, and soon the bathroom was filled with the scent of lemongrass and eucalyptus.

The two of you always bought 'gender-neutral' smelling soap so that there was never a problem with using each other's showers when you stayed the night. You had relatively sensitive skin and always complained about the soap in his bathroom, telling him it was practically dish soap before you finally caved one day and showed up with your own products.

That didn't go over well, Hoseok immediately complained about having too many bottles cluttering his bathroom.

Not to mention, any overnight guest he might have had in his downtime quickly went on high alert when they saw your expensive bath products. But you also smelled the sharp scent of your favorite apple and pear shampoo in his hair, and the next time you came over, your new bottle was half empty, and his hair looked glossy and voluminous.

The two of you have since found a compromise at the hipster soap shop. You liked neutral scents like eucalyptus and lemongrass or bergamot and lime and agreed to use the same products.

Now any time you showered, you smiled at the memory and little connection. Hoseok really did worm his way into every part of your life down to the way you smell.

Breaking yourself out of your reminiscent sob story, you washed off quickly before moving to wash your hair.

By the time you toweled off and got dressed, it was still a little too early to go to the Diner, but you felt a restless energy nagging at you—a need for action. A need for movement, and you decided you could walk to the Diner, instead of taking the bus to kill some time.

--------

It wasn't quite 5p.m. when you left, but the sky was dark grey, and the humidity in the port city was so thick you felt like you were breathing equal parts water and air.

The gloomy sky warned you of the coming storm, and by the time you were three blocks out, you debated turning around and grabbing your umbrella. But you couldn't even remember where you left it after the last big storm. You knew you didn't see it on your key rack on your way out.

You were confident you could beat the storm if you hustle a little faster to make it, and you were in your rain boots if you did get caught in the downpour. You knew if you veered off the main streets a bit and cut through a few allies between the businesses, you could make it to the Diner faster.

It wasn't late enough for anything spooky to be hiding in corners. Alcorn was a shameless and troubled city, but even here, only so much could take place before nightfall. The worst that could happen is you stumbling upon a homeless man, but that was an encounter you were willing to risk if it got you to the Diner before the sky bottomed out.

Not to mention, the alternate route would keep you from passing by Sugar Daddy, and you didn't want V to think you were trying to poke your nose into any of BTS's business.

You brought a few flashcards with you as a last attempt to study on your walk, and you flipped through them, quizzing yourself as you made your way through the town. You took extra care to look forward as you tested your memory, not wanting to risk running into someone. Especially, after your almost run-in with Dawson.

His rude attitude plus Taehyung's warning from earlier had you a bit on edge.

When you turn into the sliver of space between two buildings on the main road, you try to tell yourself it's your paranoia that's making you feel like you're being watched. That you're just letting V get in your head.

You fiddled with the thick paper of your flashcards, admiring how the corners of them curled slightly in the heavy humidity. Your hair was probably doing the same, despite taking the time to blow dry it and put a straightening product in it.

Coming out of the mouth of the alleyway, you stopped in front of the tinted windows of a random shop, head-turning to try and inspect your hair. As your eyes narrowed and focused on your locks, you froze when you saw a hooded figure behind you.

You glanced over your shoulder to see a man in a black hoodie, with a ball cap pulled low to cover his eyes trailing behind you at what felt like an intentionally casual pace.

This is a popular part of town, a lot of people probably use this shortcut.

You told yourself as you exited the alley and made your way back onto the main street. You crossed the road at the next crosswalk, even though it wasn't the best route for the Diner.

The hooded man crossed as well.

That's okay. Just cross again at the next intersection.

Again, your thoughts tried to comfort you as you decided that navigating the crosswalks was the best way to know if he was blatantly following you.

Unfortunately, with the route you took, there was no efficient way to get to the Diner from this road without cutting through another alleyway or backtracking and going back up the alley you just came from. You didn't want to backtrack at the risk that the Hoodie might have a few more friends.

You walked a few more blocks, checking over your shoulder every few steps to see if the man was still on your trail. You tried to be discrete, not wanting your paranoia to feed his agenda. You knew some sick people in this world enjoyed the chase.

You turned at the next crosswalk, pressing the button furiously as if that would give you the signal to cross any sooner when you heard a pair of leisurely footsteps come to a stop right next to you. You looked over your shoulder and gasped as you saw the hooded man standing right beside you.

His mouth curled into a cocky smile as he leaned towards you, tilting his head, so the bill of his hat still concealed his eyes, "Are you alright? You seem a little spooked," his gruff voice taunted.

You leaned away from him, taking a step towards the curb of the street, your clunky rubber boots almost causing you to trip. Your mind blanked, unable to form any response as you felt your heart start to pound in your chest.

Your eyes flashed to the road and saw the traffic was surprisingly sparse and decided, j-walking be damned, you'd risk the fine and on an impulse, ran across the street.

You knew staying on the main road was the safest option, but you genuinely didn't know the town very well once you passed the flower shop around the corner. The next block would take you into the 6th ward.

So you turned down the alleyway by the flower shop, falling into a pace that was closer to a steady jog, your rain boots creaked under your fast pace steps.

You looked over your shoulder as you turned the corner to see the hooded figure trailing at a short distance. You cursed under your breath as you willed your steps to go faster.

You waited until you cleared the corner of the alleyway before you broke out into a full run. The top of your rain boots rubbed at your calves as you ran, and you cursed yourself for not wearing sneakers.

Was out running him your best option? Could you even do so in your clunky footwear? Should you face him?

If you let him catch and grab you, you knew Jungkook's training would help you get yourself out of his hold, but you couldn't take that risk.

Maybe sending Hoseok a pin and dropping your location and hoping to God he knew you were in trouble and was willing to come to find you, would be best.

You reached in your pocket, your pace faltering slightly, as you felt the can of pepper spray you still had on your keys. You smiled, a new thought coming to your mind.

He would have a hard time fallowing you with a face full of mace.

Behind you, you heard footsteps punding against the rough concrete, and maybe it was your heart pounding in your ears, but you swore it sounded like two sets of feet.

A holler from the man who spoke to you earlier confirmed your fear.

Could you take two guys?

With surprise on your side, maybe.

You pulled yourself into a little alcove as you turned the corner again, trying your best to steady your breathing as you heard footsteps come closer.

Your keys rattled softly as you gripped the pepper spray tight in your trembling hand.

You strained your ears waiting for you aggressors to approach, and heard the sound of sneakers scraping across the concrete as if someone slipped and a shout before silence fell over the alleyway.

-------------------------------------------

A/n: Sorry for that 'cliff hanger', and I'm sorry I keep pushing Hobi and Ella talking it out further and further back. Please let me know your thoughts or theories of how you think Ella is getting out of this mess. ;)

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ican-do-this-all-day · 6 years ago

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Part 4 - Free

Summary: An outing with Bucky has unexpected results.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: Thank ya’ll for your patience since I didn’t post this chapter last week! I think it came out pretty well and I hope you enjoy :) Also I just realized this chapter was supposed to be released yesterday but I had the craziest day so please forgive me! This chapter further develops the growing bond between Bucky and the reader and may have a surprise in store in the end...Feedback is always appreciated!

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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

“What makes me the man for the job?” Bucky asked, his displeasure evident from the tension in his stance.

“We don’t mind being rid of you,” Tony joked at the same time Steve said: “It’d be nice for you to get some air, Buck. And we need someone less recognizable than ‘Captain America’ but with as much muscle if we need it.”

After Bucky had taken the call from Tony, you two had headed down from the rooftop to meet with him in the front living room of the compound. Steve and Tony had tasked Bucky with gathering information—he was to go to Queens where Tony had caught wind of a Hydra agent’s hideout.

“Okay, well are you sure this agent really is in Queens?” Bucky argued. “Why would they even hide out in the same state as us?”

“You wouldn’t expect them to hide in such proximity, right?” Tony asked, and you shook your head absently even though he had definitely been talking to Bucky. The corner of Tony’s mouth quirked when you did so, and he directed his next assessments towards you. “That’s why they do it. You spend all your time sweeping the globe for them while they’re right in your backyard.”

“Just—please, Buck,” Steve smiled softly at his friend and you found yourself wishing you had friends like that: people you’d been through everything with, good and bad, that still looked at you with so much compassion.

Bucky sighed and swept a hand through his hair. “When do I leave?”

“The morning,” said Tony. “Early—so you miss traffic and so that odds are good he’ll be home.”

With another deep sigh, Bucky nodded. He glanced at the clock on the wall and seemed to remember you were there. “It’s nine,” he said and you groaned, drawing a snort from him as he directed you back to your room for another medical test.

After the test, which was unsurprisingly inconclusive, Bucky bid you goodnight and left you in your room to fall asleep.

Instead, you lay awake thinking in circles and probably unnecessarily stressing yourself out. Either way, Bucky was going to be leaving tomorrow, presumably just for the day since he was only going to Queens (which you’d heard was close), but it hadn’t really been specified.

You knew you were just being pathetic, but you were nervous at the prospect of having to endure an entire day without Bucky, something you hadn’t yet had to do. You’d hardly spent more than a few hours apart. Sure, you spent plenty of time alone in your rooms, but you were still just down the hall from each other. You didn’t want to be clingy, but you supposed it made a bit of sense for you to want to cling to the only person you felt you could trust since you were eight years old and who also seemed to trust you, based on your rooftop confessions.

God, what was that? You had gotten so lost in the moment and in yourself that you’d laid so much on the line. Bucky had done the same, though, so you supposed you couldn’t entirely blame yourself.

On top of the fact that you didn’t want to try and navigate a day without Bucky, you were also falling into a routine. Every day you did the same things in the compound and it was beginning to remind you of memories better left unearthed. You didn’t dislike the compound or feel that it specifically recalled any negative memories, but you’d had a daily routine with Hydra as well—certain times you’d undergo tests or tortures or have blood taken and the like. It was the same day in and day out, and doing the same thing again every day made you feel caged, as if you hadn’t made any progress or even truly escaped. It was becoming maddening.

As crazy as it seemed, you knew what you had to do in order to break the anxiety inducing repetitive schedule. You closed your eyes and resolved to do so the next morning.

“You what?” Bucky asked incredulously, pulling on a plain black ball cap.

“I want to go with you,” you repeated. When he continued to stare without saying anything, you decided to elaborate. “I’ve been here, doing the same things over and over, for two weeks. I’m scared to see the world but I’m also dying to!” Your hands flew defensively to your hips. “I’m always going to be scared of everything if I keep putting it off.”

Bucky appeared somewhat impressed based on his expression, and you found yourself a bit flustered for no apparent reason.

“I just feel like I need to get out of here,” you continued under the weight of his piercing stare. “My whole life was strictly scheduled and I knew what to expect. I don’t want that anymore.” After a momentary pause, Bucky finally nodded.

“Okay,” he said. “You can come with me. But”—he cut you off before you could get too excited—“when I find this guy, you are staying in the car.” You didn’t have any inclination to protest since, despite the fact that you currently lived with the Avengers, you were an unmodified, genetically unenhanced regular person who could easily die in any number of circumstances. “It’s just for the day,” said Bucky. “Grab a bag with whatever you might need and be ready out front in an hour.”

Despite all the oddities of the past two weeks and the horrors of the past years, you were excited at the prospect of this outing—leaving the compound, exploring the new-ness of a world you’d been out of nearly your entire life, and doing so with the one person you’d come to trust and formed a bond with.

You hurried back to your room and hastily packed a bag you found in your closet (your room had come equipped with nearly everything, including clothes your size, presumably thanks to Tony and his AI) and stashed whatever you thought you might need. However, unsurprisingly, you had no idea what you might need, and you plopped on the bed with a furrowed brow, your distress evident.

“Might I suggest a list of things to pack, Miss Y/N?” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice emitted. “You look as if you’ve hit a wall.”

“Um, that would be great,” you responded uncertainly, hastily adding a “thank you.” The AI listed the essentials: your Stark-issued ID (although you didn’t technically exist yet according to the government, something Tony was currently working on), sunglasses (these had been in your dresser when you arrived), feminine products (you had to be taught what to do with them but the unlucky AI), your Stark-issued cell phone and charger, a light sweater (in case it got chilly), and a lip balm (“unless you like them chapped,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. lilted sarcastically.

Your closet was stocked with fashionable items, but you weren’t sure what was trendy these days. You’d never really had a chance to find your style. You selected a casual sleeveless dress (black with white polka dots) and slid your feet into black flats. You tossed your light pink cardigan on over the dress and felt surprisingly confident when you strode in front of the mirror. After worrying a bit at your hair, you noticed the small set of makeup on your vanity’s table. You’d never been old enough to wear makeup and really weren’t sure how to apply it, so you swiped some mascara over your lashes and felt satisfied at their increased length.

Gazing in the mirror, you found yourself thinking: I actually look pretty. You’d never felt pretty. You’d really never even thought about it much, but when you had, you’d felt repulsive, and you probably had been with the conditions Hydra had you under. But now, standing in front of the mirror in your dress, you felt pretty. Beautiful, even. Feeling another rush of satisfaction, your heart faltered.

Why did you even care what you looked like? It wasn’t as if you needed to be attractive. The only person you’d be with all day was Bucky—were you trying to impress Bucky?

Of course not. You shook off the impossible thought. You just wanted to look nice, something you hadn’t done since you were eight years old.

“Have a nice time,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. told you encouragingly as you headed to meet Bucky at the car. You considered the fact that interrogating a Hydra agent was probably not what would typically be considered a ‘nice time,’ but you decided that she must’ve meant the outing in general. These were also the Avengers, though, so maybe that was their idea of a nice time.

When you arrived beside the inconspicuous black SUV, Bucky eyed you with surprise, looking you up and down in a way that made your cheeks burn before he said, “You’re quite dressed up to sit in the car while I kick Hydra ass.”

You chuckled despite yourself. “I haven’t been anywhere, Bucky. Ever.” You crossed your arms. “I’ve never had nice clothes or makeup or anything. So I’m going to use them.”

The look you’d seen a few times over the past two weeks, a mix of admiration and surprise, washed over Bucky’s features. “Well, alright,” he said, opening the passenger door to the SUV and gesturing for you to climb inside. As you settled into the seat and buckled up, it occurred to you that you hadn’t been in a car for next to fifteen years. You also didn’t know how to drive, you realized, but you were far from ready to try, so you didn’t bring it up.

As you began the drive with Bucky by your side, you were surprised that your anxiety was outweighed by your excitement.

“You have to show me things,” you said.

“Like what?” Bucky asked, a smile playing on his face. “We’re just going to Queens. Nothing too exciting.”

“Bucky,” you said seriously, “everything is exciting to me. Anything is exciting to me. I’ve never seen anything, really.”

Bucky sighed but the smile didn’t leave his lips. “Then I guess we’ll have to stop somewhere with really good food.”

Your face lit up in an instant, and you were satiated at the moment with the promise of visiting a real restaurant. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, your curiosity got the best of you.

“So who is this guy we’re going after anyways?”

“You’re not going after anyone,” Bucky corrected sternly, “but his file’s on the backseat.”

You plucked the manila folder from the seat behind you and opened it to scan its contents. It contained information on one Yuri Peslov, an agent of Hydra who’d escaped a previous struggle with Bucky and the rest of the team. You were relieved that his face was one you didn’t recognize, although it would’ve been highly unlikely for you to recognize him as you were held captive miles and miles away. You read the entire file thoroughly, wanting desperately to be of help on Bucky’s miniature mission.

Once you’d finished, you found yourself watching the world pass by out your window, in awe of the colors and the amount of people flooding the streets. It felt like a long time went by as Bucky drove and you lost yourself in your thoughts.

“I used to live in California,” you said out of nowhere.

Bucky hesitated just a fraction of a second, seeming to debate whether he should press you to elaborate or not. “Where in California?”

“San Diego.” You could picture your old house, before it was blown up. “I liked the zoo there. It was the biggest one I ever went to.”

Bucky didn’t answer, and you suddenly felt like an idiot. Why would he care about the zoo? Why did you even still care about the zoo? That had been a stupid thing to say and he was probably rolling his eyes.

But he wasn’t.

You looked over and saw him smiling softly. Although he was watching the road, his gaze was almost loving, as if he were looking at you as you reminisced.

“I used to go dancing,” he said after a beat. “In Brooklyn. Always a different girl.” He chuckled to himself. “I was quite the ladies man.”

“I’ve never danced,” you admitted. “Obviously. I think I’d be bad, though.”

“This was swing dancing.” Bucky shook his head. “Not the garbage of today.” You were reminded just how old Bucky was, although he hadn’t truly lived all of his years—many had been spent frozen.

“I don’t even know the garbage of today. Or swing dancing. I mean, I know what swing dancing is, but I don’t know how to do it.”

Bucky cleared his throat. “Maybe I’ll have to show you someday.”

A smile crept onto your face. “Hmm. Maybe.”

After a while, Bucky reported that you were in fact in Queens. To you, however, it still just looked like the same sky and trees and buildings and people as the entire ride here. Of course you understood the concept of city lines and everything—you had been eight when you were taken and you were reasonably intelligent—but still it spun your mind in circles that someone had simply decided that this was where Queens began and everyone agreed with them. Still, it was refreshing to consciously know that you were somewhere else, whether it looked the same or not.

When Bucky parked the SUV, your stomach emitted a loud rumble and you looked at him with wide eyes.

“Are you hungry?” he asked rhetorically, swinging out of the driver’s seat and shutting the door behind him. Before you could even reach for the handle, Bucky was opening the door for you to step out.

“Super speed?” you asked incredulously.

He shook his head and grinned. “Long legs.”

You climbed out of the car and landed beside your companion with a laugh.

“Very,” you said.

“What?”

“You asked if I’m hungry and I am very hungry.”

Bucky snorted. “Well maybe we can find some place to eat before I beat the crap out of this guy. You wanna get the file? I don’t have a purse.”

You carefully pulled the file on Yuri Peslov from the backseat and stowed it in your bag.

“What are you in the mood for?” Bucky asked, locking the SUV and towing you along the sidewalk.

“You know I don’t know, Bucky,” you teased.

You found yourself feeling oddly satisfied. It was a beautiful day in Queens, the vivid greens and blues of the surrounding trees and sky stark against the dull grays and tans of the buildings to create the perfect mix of what you figured urban life must be like. You walked beside Bucky, the man you hadn’t known until two weeks ago and never imagined you would have come to trust. You’d never imagined having the ability to trust anyone, but in a short time Bucky had become not only your best friend, but your protector. You felt at ease with him, even with your back turned, something you’d never expected.

You found yourself thinking of your father and his protective instincts that Bucky seemed to share. Strangely enough, it brought a smile to your lips instead of a tear to your eyes, and you realized that while you were reliving certain memories, you weren’t having flashbacks like you had before. Perhaps it had to do with your state of bliss.

“How about here?” Bucky’s voice brought you back to reality. He was gesturing to a quaint Italian bistro that set your stomach gurgling at the very sight of it.

You nodded profusely. “Yes please.”

The two of you settled into a table outside and you were shocked at the domesticity of the situation, specifically when the waiter offered white wine and Bucky accepted a glass for each of you. He sipped a bit of his and stared expectantly at you from behind the rim.

“I’ve never drank wine,” you said, and a smile crept onto his face.

“Your experiences so far with the real world are limited to those of an eight year old,” he said. “But now you’re��how old are you?”

You shrugged, reciting your birth date and year. “So like...23?”

“23 is legally able to drink,” Bucky grinned. “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to get you drunk. Just taste it.”

Sighing, you downed a huge gulp of the liquid. Bucky’s eyes bulged at the size of your first drink of alcohol. The wine burned going down, but it had a sweet, crisp quality you enjoyed, although the aftertaste was slightly bitter. Still, you grinned at Bucky.

“I like it.”

Bucky laughed. “I can see that. You downed that like a shot—over half the glass.” His eyes flicked over your shoulder.

“What?” you asked, and his gaze returned to yours.

Bucky shook his head. “Nothing. Just being wary.”

You continued to make conversation with Bucky but noticed his eyes constantly traveling to a point just over your left shoulder.

“What is it?” you demanded after the hundredth time.

He held his hands up in surrender. “Nothing!”

You spun in your chair to see a very attractive woman at a table a few rows behind yours. She had gorgeous long blonde curls and was reading a book or magazine while she nibbled at a salad.

“Is she what you’ve been staring at?” you asked, feeling hurt although you weren’t sure why. You weren’t angry—why would you be?—but your stomach felt odd and you couldn’t place the reason.

Bucky didn’t answer, just smiled sheepishly, and that was when you realized what the sinking feeling in your stomach was: jealousy.

You were jealous? Of what? Why?

It wasn’t Bucky’s fault that he couldn’t keep his eyes off what was probably the most beautiful girl in existence, and it certainly wasn’t his fault that the most beautiful girl in existence wasn’t you. But why did you even care?

Looking at Bucky’s face, all you could think about was the girl’s beautiful hair, hair you could never have. The richest golden blonde you’d ever seen woven with caramel, honey, wheat, and every other shade with the most voluminous, perfectly falling curls of the most attractive model imaginable. Was that what Bucky liked? Why couldn’t you look like that?

Why did you even want to look like that? You’d never cared what you looked like. Why did you care what Bucky liked?

Bucky’s sharp intake of breath momentarily numbed your intense emotions as he whispered, “Holy shit.”

“What?” you demanded, unable to keep your voice from sounding slightly venomous. You weren’t angry with Bucky, but at yourself, but you didn’t know how to differentiate. “Am I embarrassing you?”

“What?” he asked incredulously. “You didn’t—” Bucky shook his head, panic returning to his features. “Okay, Y/N, we have to leave.” He rose quickly and tugged at your arm, but you snapped it away.

“No! We haven’t even eaten!”

“You’ve gotta stop this.” Bucky’s voice was low, his grip returning more tightly to your arm. “You’re making a scene. We don’t want to draw attention. How are you doing this?”

“Doing what?!”

“Y/N!” He snapped in a whisper to cut off your rising volume. Bucky wrenched his phone from his pocket and opened his front camera, thrusting the phone at you.

When you held it up in front of your face, expecting to see something in your teeth or nothing different at all, your heart skipped a beat.

Perched atop your head and framing your face was an exact mirror of the most perfect golden hair you’d ever seen, cascading in beautiful ringlets down your shoulders.

Part 5

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