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generalsmemories · 1 year ago

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Ginkgo leaves

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ based on the ask: Since reqs are open, you think you could write jing yuans reaction to his lover being Mara-struck? Thank you! - requested by anonymous

✧ contents: established relationship, angst, hurt/almost no comfort lmfao, implied character death, mentions of other characters, pov mostly written in jing yuan's pov, still usage of 2nd pov (referring the reader as you), mayhaps ooc because jing yuan is an emotional wreck.

✧ a/n: when i tell ya'll i legit struggled to be able to write this entire thing. there's been like 3-4 scrapped drafts because halfway through writing i would just NOT be satisfied with the result. to the anon who requested this, i'm so sorry it took this long - but i hope the upcoming trainwreck makes up for it! a trainwreck im still not actually satisfied with LMFAO. but it's better than the other 5 scrapped works. also not beta-read so fellas if u see a spelling error - no you didn't.

p.s: some mara-struck information i give here are totally fanmade for the purpose of this fic alone, as such don't take whatever i write about mara here as what actually happens canonically to characters (then again most of the playable characters have different symptoms of mara themselves).

"Benefactor, am I correct to believe you're asking me if the general has any specific interests?" Tingyun asks with a snicker, the trailblazer looking away from her prying eyes while mumbling a quiet yes.

"Some of the younger... Can I call them younger? Anyway, some of the younger Xianzhou citizens are very infatuated with the general. Seeing as I've been announced as his honory guest, they do often come and ask me various things to try and gain his favor. So yeah, anything at this point will work - so please!" the trailblazer hurriedly explained, clasping their hands together in a desperate attempt to get anything from the foxian amicassador leaning back with a quirked eyebrow.

"Ahh, love truly makes someone go blind doesn't it," she muses out loud, the trailblazers' eyebrow furrowing together in confusion over the foxian's lady choice of words, "... You're not entirerely wrong with that statement..."

"Do you want to know what his favorite flower is?" Tingyun asks, ignoring the confused question that had been uttered to her, snapping her fan open to hide the cheeky smile that spread across her lips - but anyone could still tell that her eyes were gleaming with mischief as the trailblazer nodded their head.

"He doesn't have one."

"Then why did you even-"

"But he likes ginkgo leaves."

The trailblazers' eyes widened in shock, and rightfully so because the very thing ginkgo leaves are associated with are after all...

"He had a lover once, and as far as I'm aware, his last moment with them while they still had their consciousness intact was surrounded by ginkgo leaves."

Jing Yuan whilst having forgotten almost every single moment with you, does unfortunately remember the exact details of the day that your descent into madness started. Because what he witnessed wasn't a futile struggle you had with yourself to not to destroy everything within your vicinity. Instead, he witnessed the slow process of your bright self becoming an empty shell, only capable of uttering a few words.

It's comical really, even when faced with a curse that struck everyone mad - he found out that it oddly fit your character to not go mad, but instead become the complete opposite of your gentle self. A hollow shell of the person he fell in love with all centuries ago.

Jing Yuan knew he had to end your suffering right then and there when you first started to show signs.

But he couldn't - This wasn't something that had to be immediately dealt with, his hand wasn't forced like it was back when he had to slay his own master down before she took more lives.

No, this was a normal afternoon on what would've been another normal, mundane day in both of your lives. But everything went wrong the moment Jing Yuan heard the breaking of glass, and how there was a lone gingko leaf inside the palm of your hand - a ginkgo leaf that you were staring wide-eyed at with a trembling hand.

You were too far from the veranda to have a ginkgo leaf in your hand.

General Jing Yuan would've ended your suffering the moment you turned around to lock eyes with him, your own face twisted into one of utter fear.

General Jing Yuan would've reported you the to Ten-Lords Commissions as the law had stated. But Jing Yuan couldn't - because Jing Yuan knew that the moment he did, he would never see you again.

So he decided for once he would be selfish. Jing Yuan rarely made choices lately that was based off of his own feelings, but his time with you was cut too harshly, so once again he chooses to be selfish. Even if that meant that it would prolong your suffering just a tiny bit more. "... We can figure something out," was the only thing he could muster up the courage to say with a shaking voice. You didn't say anything, your mouth wobbling a tiny bit and your breathing getting harsher by the second.

But still you indulged him - you always did. So with an equally wobbly smile, you only nodded your head slightly, "... Sure."

That wobbly smile and expression of utter fear was the last genuine expression that truly came from yourself.

The descent to becoming fully mara-struck is usually a fast process, the curse able to completely overtake someone's mind within the same day the symptoms appears - rendering the person completely vulnerable with the only alternative to either hand themselves in to the Ten-Lords or wait for the Ten-Lords to come to them personally.

Your usual easy-going smile was gone, in its stead was eyes that kept going in and out of focus. Almost as if you were desperately trying to keep yourself grounded - a battle you both knew would end with your defeat.

Jing Yuan didn't dare to venture outside of the house. One step out and every Cloud Knight would've been on you within seconds to subdue you. He had first initially resorted to just holding you within his arms for as long as he could, to be able to remember how you felt like after your death.

But with the minimal strength you had left, you had wobbled to the garden, every step taken only making you pant heavily. But even with heavy breaths of air leaving your lips, you had refused to take Jing Yuans hand or offer to even carry you out to the garden. When you had managed to reach the ginkgo tree standing tall at the center of the garden, Jing Yuan was sure you were going to collapse in front of it, taking a quick step to catch you.

But instead you had merely reached your hands up, the falling leaves fluttering gently down onto your palms. And while you were in indescriable pain for the last couple of hours - Jing Yuan could only see a serene expression when you looked up at the ginkgo leaves that were continously falling down.

"... They're beautiful... aren't they... Jing Yuan? It's almost a pity... that these beautiful... leaves are associated with our doom," you said softly. Jing Yuan could feel his breath hitch in his throat when you uttered his name.

You're obviously struggling to convey whatever thoughts you still had to him properly, taking a moment in between words to catch your breath, eyebrows furrowed slightly as you fought against the searing pain that was spreading through every nerve in your body.

There's a sudden gust of wind which causes the pile of leaves in your hands to flutter away from your grasp. Your hand stretches out slightly, almost in an attempt to reach out for them - stumbling a bit in your step. The limp causes Jing Yuan to take a quick step forward with his arms outstretched. Perhaps seeing him in your peripheral vision causes you to stop the futile attempt to catch the escaping leaves, arms going limp against your side as you turn to face him - your once blank expression turning into a somber smile instead.

Jing Yuan thinks that it's unfair how normal you look in front of him - almost as if you haven't been becme mara-struck. Like nothing has happened to you aside from the ginkgo leaves fluttering from your lips whenever you cough. The same cough that causes the general of Luofu to flinch every time - without fail.

And perhaps you can see his inner turmoil, the way he tries to make eye contact with you, but is unable to after a few seconds. The way his hands clench too hard into fist to the point droplets of blood fall down to the grass and stains it a deep red while he bites his own lips to not say a word - lest he says something that he will regret.

And you truly wish that you could tell him everything is okay like you usually do.

But for the first time since the day he lost his friends, you can't.

"... I'm sorry," you finally say, the apology making him whip his head up to you again. Mouth opening to say something to comfort you, to tell you that it's not your fault. But the words are unable to leave his mouth when he sees your arms slightly outstretched towards him with a small smile.

And he can't hold it in anymore.

It only takes him a few wide steps to reach you from his position before he cradles you within his arms. The grip is tight, unbearably tight to the point it hurts, but you don't complain. You're limp in his hold, and if this was any day he wouldn't comment, but the fact that you're not moving a single muscle terrifies Jing Yuan to the core. "... Please," he finally manages to whisper, the rustling of ginkgo leaves around you almost drowning out his quiet plea.

"Please don't make me do this again."

He doesn't ask if the tensing of your body is caused by the pain that's rapidly increasing or if it's caused by his silent confession. He can however feel the gentle hand that rests against the lower part of his back and your head resting against the side of his own. The reassurance you try to give him does nothing to help because he's aware that it probably brought you unmeasurable pain to try to move those limbs - instead the general buries his face closer to your neck and squeezes you tighter.

"... You won't." you whisper quietly.

It takes a moment for Jing Yuan to process the meaning behind those two words.

But it's a moment too late, because before he can get his phone out to usher a command, a few resounding knocks can be heard throughout the quiet mansion.

"General Jing Yuan. This is Xueyi of the Ten-Lords commission. I've gotten information that there's currently a mara-struck within these premises."

Jing Yuan feels his blood run cold, he pulls himself away from you to stare at you properly in disbelief.

You're still staring at him with the same somber expression, however he can tell there's a small pitiful smile grazing your lips, "I'm sorry," you whisper once again.

"I asked her... personally," you start, finally letting yourself rest now that the end is near, slumping down onto Jing Yuan's chest, your ear settling itself against his heart to hear his rapid heartbeats.

Jing Yuan loathes the fact that it's at this moment, with the Ten-Lords commission outside of your door and with him completely broken do you actually look at peace - like your battle against time has finally come to its conclusion.

And naturally, the one who lost is you.

"Half a day... with you. Then she would come and bring me there. You won't have to... do this again."

You're not able to see Jing Yuan's face - and Jing Yuan wouldn't want you to see how he looked like right now. The arms around you is trembling, his mind is racing - trying to come up with anything to give him a bit more time with you.

But for once, the general that had a plan for every situation had nothing in mind.

He's lost. And the prize of the loss this time is losing you forever.

"General, I apologize for the rudeness of what I'm about to do, but this is for both of your safety," Jing Yuan hear Xueyi mutter from outside of the door, before he hears the rattling of the door frame start to slide open.

"Wait- no," it's a quiet request that gets ignored as Xueyi strides in alone, the lack of company making Jing Yuan's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"... Their last request along with the request for my late arrival here was for the Cloud Knights to not see you like this. Naturally I won't tell anyone of what I've seen today."

Jing Yuan doesn't care about that, he could care less about his image right now, pulling you closer to him while his eyes are downcast - he makes no move to hand you over to the judge.

The puppet judge before him does not say anything - nor does she make a move. What she does however is wait, wait for the general before her that has been utterly crushed and broken by the person in his arms start to accept the harsh truth once again.

If he doesn't handle the mara-struck himself, someone else would - but the end result only serves to punish him in the end, the one left behind.

Xueyi hears a silent breath be let out by the general, her once closed eyes opening up to see the general pull slightly away from you, one hand reaching up to cradle your cheek. Your eyes have long since closed, and you're most likely not even conscious to hear what he's about to say.

"My dear... I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer before we can meet again," he whispers, bumping his forehead against your own gently, "I hope you won't fault me for that."

A long ginkgo leaf flutters right between the two of you, eventually settling down on your chest.

Jing Yuan sucks in one last deep breath, "I'm sorry I kept you here for so long - I'm sorry you had to be in pain for so long because of me," he leans in to slot his lips one last time over your own, whispering something that Xueyi can't hear before he rises up, your body limp in his arms.

"Thank you for your service Miss Xueyi, please see them off appropiately." Jing Yuan says, voice sounding eerily calm - almost like his usual self.

When he turns around to finally face her, the puppet's lifeless eyes seem to grow a bit in surprise. Before her is the general of Luofu, his usual easy-going smile present on his lips.

Like he wasn't carrying his mara-struck lover in his arms.

"As much as I would want to accompany you to see them off, I'm afraid I have some urgent matters to attend to," he informs, handing your body over to Xueyi - she doesn't comment on how his hands are still slightly trembling or how he immediately turned a bit to the side to ignore staring at her head-on.

Even though Xueyi doesn't want to ask, she still asks either way, "What are your plans from here on, general?"

Jing Yuan only gives her a close eyed smile, turning his gaze towards the large ginkgo tree with his hands behind his back. He gnaws a tiny bit at his lips, finally breathing out.

A couple of seconds passes by before he opens his mouth.

"I think I'll meditate a bit under this tree before heading back to the Seat. I can't leave Luofu without me for too long after all."

5 SCRAPPED WORKS AND I'M STILL NOT ACTUALLY THAT SATISFIED BUT IF I KEEP THIS PIECE LONGER IN THE WORKS THE MORE I'LL BUTCHER IT SO HAHA - THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO AFTER 3 MONTHS OF CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH FELLAS. I HOPE IT SQUEEZED YOUR HEART A TINY BIT NONETHELESS.

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail imagines #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr imagines #star rail x reader #star rail imagines #star rail x you #honkai star rail angst #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #hsr jing yuan #jing yuan angst

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atinyniki · 11 months ago

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i ruined it...

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending, fluff if you squint

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, almost breakup, y/n doesnt think felix loves her, felix is referred to as lix, felix neglects y/n bc of his job, felix misses their two year anniversary dinner, felix has trouble breathing in the scene, felix cries a lot, proposals, promise rings, insecurities, felix has been broken up with a lot bc of this, y/ns fav flowers are peonies, fighting

authors note: i cried. i dont even know why this came to mind??? but it did !!! so enjoy the angst :P this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 2232

“i’m sorry”

“sorry isn’t going to cut it anymore, felix. you’ve said it so much i don’t think you mean it anymore.”, you bite back harshly.

you’re normally understanding of felix’s job. it regularly requires him to stay overtime and keeps him very busy, but he’s missed too many of your activities.

he missed ice skating, your birthday, at least ten dates, but now he’s missed your anniversary. two years that you’ve been together, yet it’s like you don’t even see the boy anymore.

“what…?”

“it’s always ‘sorry’. if you were really sorry, maybe you would’ve skipped dinner with the boys. you could’ve come home… to me…”, your voice falters at the last two words, cracking with raw emotion.

it’s not fair to you anymore, nor is it to him. he can’t leave group activities or basically anything work related, even when it’s an emergency. if no one’s in danger, then there’s no chance he can leave.

“don’t you ever want to see me…?”

his face contorts into an expression of disgust. not with you, but with himself. his tears finally drip over his lashline, eyes red and burning. the tears are continuous now, completely unable to stop.

“i do… i do want to see you… i miss you so much, y/n.”

you scoff, “don’t lie to me, felix.”

he opens his mouth to say something back, but only a squeak comes out. “do you still love me…?”

“i love you to the ends of the earth… i promise.”

“then why don’t you ever show it? i don’t even know if i believe you anymore.”

he clamps a hand over his mouth, not out of surprise, but to suppress his sobs. he continues hiccupping, but clutches his mouth harder, not wanting to make too much noise.

he tilts his head down slightly so you won’t be able to see the painful look on his face. he tries to pull through, knowing that your pain must be much worse than this.

the sight breaks your heart.

“take your hand off your mouth. you won’t be able to breathe”

he complies, quickly wiping his tears and taking long breaths. “please- please believe m-me. i really do love you. i’m so sorry.”

he says it again, and you look into his eyes. you can see the pain in there, causing your heart to crack even more. you know he’s dealing with a lot right now, but so are you.

and now you need space. time to think about yourself, and time to think about if this relationship is really worth it anymore.

“i swear, i mean it, y/n.”

“you’re the one ruining this. this isn’t fair at all, felix. i love you, but i don’t think you love me the same way i love you. you’re not making an effort in anything. i don’t know if this is going to work anymore if it stays like this.”

silence.

“i need space.”

“i can give you that.”

“i don’t think this relationship is good for either one of us right now. ill come back when im ready.”

he nods in understanding, but his eyes are blown wide. the second you leave the room, he starts sobbing again.

no, not sobbing. wailing.

there’s nothing else he can do. this truly might be the end of what he hoped would be forever.

he hurt you. he hurt you and that hurts him. your pain is his pain, but he knows you have it worse. if anything, he deserves this pain. you’ve had to bear this pain for months.

it’s his fault, he knows it. everything’s falling apart because of him, like it always does. everything’s ruined. it will end like it always does.

just felix, alone.

someone else will come along, and he’ll break them too. it’s happened time and time again, and he’s finally given up.

it’s you he wants to spend the rest of his life with. it has to be you. no one else has made him feel this way, not once.

what’s worse is that you’re truly considering breaking up. ending it all because of another stupid thing felix did.

and for this, he will never forgive himself.

he’s still crying, just as loud as before, but now snuggled up into the couch. it smells like you, he realizes. maybe that’s why he’s getting so emotional.

he plays with the promise ring on his finger, crying even more now. maybe he won’t need it anymore after this.

you start packing, taking a good amount of clothes and stuffing them in your suitcase. you’ll have enough space for everything, you’re sure.

you grab one of your favorite sweaters from the closet, it has an adorable baby chick embroidered onto it. you stare at it again, but then put it back. it reminds you too much of him.

you make your way to the bathroom, placing your hand on the counter while you open the drawers to check for any jewelry, when you hear a clink.

you place your hand down on the marble again.

clink.

you look down at your ring finger, a singular tear leaving your eye. you remember when felix got down on one knee on your one year anniversary. it was too early for a proposal, so you freaked out, but he calmed you down and opened the box.

a promise ring. a simple band to symbolize eternity. an eternity you believed you’d spend with felix. you’re scared that eternity doesn’t exist anymore, as much as you want it to.

you don’t know if he cares. if he cares about what you have. if he cares about you.

you remove the band from your finger, shaky hands placing it down onto the counter. you observe the thin tan line it’s made, has it truly been that long?

when did everything change…?

you look for the box that felix gave it to you in. you’ve never taken it off since you got it.

you check in your jewelry drawer, but it’s not there. so you check in his.

there it is. a navy blue box with gold accents on the edges. you smile sadly, crying a little more when you truly think about your circumstances.

you grab the ring from the countertop and flip open the box.

your heart stops.

it’s supposed to be empty.

why isn’t it empty?

there’s a gorgeous gold band on the inside, small peonies engraved into it. your favorite flower, you realize. additionally, there’s a perfect heart shaped diamond sitting on top, almost taunting you.

the heart was meant to symbolize your love. the love you have for eachother. the love he has for you. but felix has never been able to show that properly, not while under his circumstances.

is this the surprise he mentioned the week before? is this why he told you to dress nicely to dinner? is this why he told you to do your nails all nice?

it had to be, right?

you close the box and hold it tightly in your hand, trying your best to suppress the tears that are trying desperately to escape.

but your heart controls you more than your mind.

its almost as if your heart actually has a mind of its own, bringing you to where you are now. standing in the living room, watching the sobs rack felix’s body, velvet box still in hand.

his body jerks with each hiccup, the noise completely muffled by his hand. it’s then you realize that it’s not muffled, he’s suffocating himself.

you place the box down onto the table, rushing over to felix. you grab his shoulder, pushing him over and sitting him upright. he jerks when you touch him, not expecting you to be anywhere near him.

once he truly processes the sight of you, he cries even more. you pry his hand off of his face again, you know it’s a bad habit.

“felix. you won’t be able to breathe when you do that.”

“im sorry. i didn’t w-want you to- to hear m-me”

“deep breaths.”

he inhales deeply, trying his best to follow your breathing patterns, but it fails every time, broken up into small hiccups. “i c-can’t.”

“calm down…”

you give him a small smile, almost to reassure him. he tries again, but it doesn’t work. he shuts his eyes, unable to take it all, and the tears just continue to spill.

“i- i can’t… i can’t breathe”

you rub circles onto his back, trying your best to do breathing exercises with him. you forget how truly sensitive he is.

“i’m right here…”

“you’re r-right here.”

“mhm… i’m right here, felix.”

“you’re right here… w-why are you here?”

you tilt your head in confusion, wiping a single cascading tear away from his cheek. “i’m here to take care of you.”

“you- i… i don’t deserve it…”

“what?”

“i don’t deserve you. you can- you can leave. i’m not forcing you to stay…”

your heart is now barely holding on, and it feels like only a single thread is holding it together.

“i’m here because i want to help you, lix.”

“you don’t- no- you don’t need to help me… it’s my fault.”

you open your mouth to speak, but he cuts you off.

“it’s my fault… i’m sorry.”

“felix…”

“you’ll leave…”

what’s going on with him?

“they all leave… n-not you too…”

“felix.”

“i don’t want you to leave… it’s all my fault.”

“felix, please, calm—“

“you’re going to leave…”

“i’m not going to leave.”

“i ruined it…”

it’s almost as if he’s stuck in the same state of mind, every part of the world being blocked out except for the terrible thoughts swirling around in there.

you cup his cheek with your hand, guiding his gaze towards you. one single look into your eyes, and he’s sobbing again.

you place your left hand on his knee, you know how much he loves to feel you, but he only seems to cry more.

he tentatively brings a hand up to the one splayed out in his knee, and you watch him out of curiosity. he giggles, and you look back up.

he’s crying even more now, you don’t even know how that’s possible. he picks up your hand by your ring finger, staring at the tan line that your promise ring created.

“i ruined it. how could i ever let you go…?”

he runs his thumb over it, and he quickly pulls your hand closer to his face. he places a soft kiss onto the line, just once, as to finally seal his fate.

it will never happen. he must accept it.

you don’t let go, instead intertwining your fingers. “i thought about it for a little. i really don’t want to leave you felix. i just… i didn’t know if you loved me anymore.”

“i do… i do love you.”

“i know that now.”

“you don’t know the full extent to which i do, y/n. i don’t just love you for what you have to offer. i love you for you. i love you for your smile, and i love you for waking up everyday. i love you for working hard, and i love you for your heart. i love you for things i can’t even see, and i love every part that makes you you. i love y/n. i love you. and i love you for being you.”

it feels as if the tears in your heart have finally been stitched up. every crack in your heart healed with his pure words. you know they came from the heart too.

“i can’t guarantee i’ll be there for every event, and im sorry for that. ive tried to change that, but the rules are strict. even then, i wont give up. i’ll try my best to change them, i want to be the best boyfriend i can be. i dont want to rush dates because im running out of time, but instead because i cant wait to get home and finally cuddle with you without being in the public eye. i dont want to be late to any events just so that i can see that beautiful smile on your face when you see me there. i just want to make you happy, happier than you’ve been recently.”

“oh felix…”

he doesn’t say anything else, placing your hand back down on his knee and retracting his hand. that’s when his gaze flies to the table in front of him, the dark blue velvet box staring right at him.

he stands up, grabs it, and then kneels back down, on not one, but both knees. it looks almost as if he’s begging, but what you don’t realize, is that he truly is. he’s begging for your forgiveness, and he’s begging for another chance.

he has to make things right.

“y/n… i know i haven’t been the best boyfriend recently, not at all, but i want to make things right. you’ve brought so much light into my world, and i want to bring you that light too. i just need you to give me one last chance. one chance to make it right. i know it’s not the perfect proposal, but please, make me the happiest man in the world.”

he flicks open the box, displaying the band you last observed in the bathroom.

“i love you.”

“that’s not a yes or a no.”

“yes, i love you.”, you repeat.

you can’t control your heart anymore, and you take the chance to push felix down to kiss him. you know it’s not the ideal proposal, nor is it the ideal post-proposal kiss, but your answer would always be yes.

“it’s you, felix. it’s always been you.”

“y/n.”

“hm?”

“i promise, i’ll never let you go again.”

#atinyniki #skz #skz x reader #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #lee felix #felix x reader #lee felix angst #lee felix fluff #felix fluff #felix angst #lee felix x reader #lee felix x y/n

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gyuswhore · 2 years ago

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How to Win Hearts for Dummies (the answer is lattes and banana bread)

Idol!mingyu x makeup-artist!reader

genre: fluff, angst, one sided pining

warnings: slow burn, swearing, shitty bosses, some descriptions of anxiety and breakdowns, one sided pining, reader has issues opening up (lmk if there's anything else)

13.4k words (im sorry)

plot: This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

masterlist

(A/N): repost bc Tumblr wouldn’t show it in the tags!!! Thank you for clicking on this clonking my pants as I hit post ! I started working on this at the beginning of exam season and I’m posting it the night before my last exam 🥲 what a full circle moment. Also pls excuse any inconsistencies or grammatical errors, my beta reader, unlike me, actually cares ab her grades and is in the beginning of exam season and therefore will not be able to read through this monstrosity for a while lmao. Enjoy hehe

Edit: I’ve just realised how many mistakes and grammatical errors I’ve made throughout the fic, serves me right for proofreading at 3 AM after a stats exam. I’ll try to fix them all asap!!!

The camera goes off again with a distinct click. And again. And again. And again.

The camera had gone off innumerable times since Mingyu walked out in another themed ensemble, and you were there, watching, through all of it.

You watched as he kept switching positions, rotating his body and his head. Morphing his features into more variations of dazed and serious than you thought could ever exist.

Standing there, at the portable table behind the main setup, attempting to clean a lip brush that would be needed soon when the inevitable call for-

“Makeup over here! We’re taking 5”

You note your sluggish pace as you snap out of your daze and scrubbing harder with the removal cloth. Snapping your head down, hoping nobody noticed your incessant heart eyes, you realize you were in trouble now.

‘Y/n, you’ve been cleaning that brush since I left 10 minutes ago!’ The senior makeup artist snapped.

You finish up the brush in hand and quickly hand her what she needs, not before rummaging for the tiny pot of lip product you absent-mindedly packed away.

‘Sorry, really sorry’ you choke out before she leaves in her badly concealed irritated expression. You see her make a beeline for a waiting Mingyu, who adorably squats for the woman so she has better access.

This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

It's not that you were overage (your mother begs to differ), but considering you were on your second big girl job and still no sign of a potential lover, the prospect was starting to weigh on your head. The first rattling experience was when one of your closest friends announced her engagement, your thoughts still stuck in a 19 year old you considered she was too young. She was not, in fact, 19, or too young, but a perfectly acceptable age to consider marriage with someone she loved, you had soon realized. You were never one for the dating scene, but you were always one to don your Dr. Love labcoat whenever an emotionally bruised friend would come seeking help. You were good at advice, but awfully bad at applying it yourself.

Coming into this job, surrounded by a plethora of beautiful people, your heart would be of stone if it weren’t to waver.

The gong of unattainability had struck the second you laid eyes on Mingyu, laughing at something Hoshi had shown him on the phone. There he was, hair and makeup-less, looking like he had just rolled out of bed (which he had), and beautiful as ever. Beginning this new chapter with a bang, only problem was that it turned into an 8 month shoot out. Having encountered a number of gorgeous people, you’d learned to appreciate their genetic lottery pull and move on. But never had a single look left you as breathless and unbeared as that one, fateful look at Mingyu. One of the team members was busy assuring you not to worry too much about the pandemonium in the dressing room, that everyone would handle it and you were only asked to observe and help with smaller things as instructed; for now. You weren’t listening too hard though.

You were now adjusted to the chaos that comeback season and 13 men plus staff in a microscopic dressing room brought about. But you will never forget how in the midst of your first rain of hell, Mingyu had asked you to pass his phone.

‘Please?’ He had said, and you slammed your hand with a force of a woman infatuated on the table behind you and (literally) breathed out the first thing you had ever said to him.

‘Here’

He smiled and gave you a quick ‘thanks’.

There was no coming back after he flashed you those irresistible canines, and to this day, you wonder what nation you saved in a previous life to be able to have him know your name, hear it roll off his tongue in his pretty voice as he asks you to fix his smudged eyeliner.

You sigh defeatedly before your mentor slash irritated makeup artist shoves her load back in your hands and instructs you to come inside to pack up. It’s become routine for you now, as you begin to pack up the bigger palettes and tools, handing a ready-to-go-home Junhui the pack of makeup wipes he asked for, zipping up bags and closing tubs of outfits. It's an organized chaos but one everybody has grown to work around.

Mingyu is done before you, as he removes his jewelry and begins to shrug off his jacket. You scramble to find the clothes he came in and his coat, pointedly ignoring the familiar scent of wood. He thanks you and shucks off the remainder of his clothing, he might be used to stripping in front of professional staff, but you look away regardless for your own sanity.

Helping the last stylists hang the final jacket, you grab your bag and get ready to leave in your own car. Mingyu has left, not before throwing a “you did well, thank you!” over his shoulder at the remaining people in the room and leaving for the honking car outside.

***

Your mashing bananas in a bowl at 12 AM when you start thinking. Impulsive baking sessions had become a norm since you started working with Seventeen, needing to keep yourself occupied to stop spiraling. Mingyu was a recurring topic (surprise surprise), but one that quickly faded when you begin to think about what the future holds for you. You start mashing the banana harder. You consider the idea that you can’t complain, being in a position some of the most well seasoned pros had difficulty reaching. Being a single young woman and being allowed so close to some of the most unattainable men was seen as near impossible. You’d like to think it was your skill that got you here but can never seem to fully rule out a processing error.

It’s hard, being stuck in the same place. Your apprenticeship should have ended 2 months ago, but even if it had, you’d still be doing the same thing. The senior artist trusts no-one but a select few to work on the boys for photoshoots, events, music videos. People like you are left to sanitize sponges and clean the fallout.

You crack an egg on the counter and it splits open entirely, falling on the floor, yolk and all. Your inability to grow stays within the idea that you can’t really do your artistry like you want.

And how you never learn to crack your eggs on the bowl.

***

Showing up on the Going Seventeen set, you rush to the dressing room way earlier than you should. Being completely honest, you’re really only rushing because you want to maneuvere yourself to do Mingyu’s makeup before somebody else snags him. This was one of the very few engagements where you were occasionally allowed to take charge on makeup. Not that it was required for the show much at all; intensity and occasion wise. Your rare (possible) moment to (maybe) come into Mingyu’s organic notice was an opportunity never to be dropped by you.

You help setting up everything on the counters as the boys begin to (loudly) file in the rooms. You see Mingyu walk in and move to ask him to sit down once he’s done discarding his coat. He was first in line and you ‘happened’ to be the first one ready to begin working.

‘Is the eye makeup heavy? I just got a sty removed and I don’t know if I should be putting anything on at all.’ He asks as he sits down and you ready your damp sponge.

‘Not really, just smoothing things out. It should be fine.’ you say as you begin to press the compact on his cheek.

Your not really sure why, because you’ve never been able to muster anything above brief replies when in contact with him, but something in you pushes you to keep talking.

‘I’m surprised they even asked for us, they rarely ever do’ you continue, heart pounding so hard you’re afraid he might hear it.

He breathes out a laugh ‘Yeah. They even started advertising the show on youtube and subway stations and stuff, I didn’t know until I saw someone talk about it online’

You smile at his response ‘Well, all of you work so hard, it's about time they pull this to a high scale production’

‘It's never really work if your having fun, we try to be ourselves on here’ He replies, still smiling slightly.

You’re damn near close to collapsing on the floor at this point. This is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with him. You opt to smile in response as you start to concentrate on his eyebrows. The rest of his face is done far too soon as you zone out and do what you do best.

‘All done’ you announce as you pull away from his lips, trying not to have yoour gaze linger.

“Y/n! Can you start on Vernon if you're done?’, another artist calls from behind.

‘Yeah, he can come up!’ you reply as Mingyu (regretfully) walks towards hair.

Just because you sew your mouth shut with Mingyu doesn’t mean it applies for the rest of them, you’re quite friendly with all of them and Vernon does well to remind you as he sits down and quips a ‘hey bestieee’ in an elongated greeting.

You audibly laugh ‘That’s another word I’ll be hearing for the next month’

‘Regretfully so’ He feigns sympathy.

‘Be quiet and look up’ you say with a fond smile before you get started on him.

***

You sit on the floor in front of your television, trail mix on the coffee table as the movie plays as background noise for your thoughts - again.

There’s a smile on your face, but you dont notice as you think about the small talk you made with Mingyu today, wondering if it could become a regular occurrence if you learned to keep your heart and mind in check.

You were never one to stand up and take effort to do what was right for you, which is why you were talked into choosing Business Administration by your friend in highschool, who you never speak to now because she decided to ditch you for another group who were more inclined to shuttle themselves to liver failure by partying every last weekend in your entire college career. You were talked into applying to corporate jobs by your counsellors as you started looking for make-up courses, needing to abandon your dream for the second time when you landed a decent entry level desk job. It took years before you decided to choose yourself for once and made the big leap after multiple courses you had took on the side. Life was starting to look bright after getting hired here, but you’re not sure if you overrode a high or if you went back to your old zipped mouth state after you settled in. Never sure if you expected too much or if things really were as stagnant as they felt.

***

Overmanifestation can be a thing. You're not really sure how it works but you’re reaping what you’ve sowed right about now.

You’re currently standing in an offside corridor in a hotel lobby, clad in a pretty white floral dress, and a nervous, fidgety Mingyu standing in front of you.

'I know I'm asking you to do something difficult and I know it seems pointless because I'm not doing anything wrong either that you have to lie about it'

This was supposed to be a staycation with your friends for you to relax and get your mind off things. Your ticket to relaxation has become a nightmare.

'And I understand I'm being super unreasonable but I'm really trying to keep it on the down-low as we get to know each other'

You were waiting with your friends on the couches positively stuffing your faces with the complimentary chocolate bowl placed on the coffee table as a couple other friends checked you guys into your rooms. You were laughing and talking with your group, carefree and ready to have a week of well deserved rest.

That was the plan anyway. Until you see someone across the lobby, also in line at check in. He had an unmistakable toothy smile,and was hand in hand with a concealed brunette.

Your smile abruptly falls in disbelief as you feel your world halt around you.

The same hands come up to brush the hair out of the woman's face to place a kiss on her temple, smiling wide.

The nauseating feeling of ice going down your spine is becoming more and more apparent. You attempt to swallow the lump in your throat but it's like trying to swallow a brick. You lick your lips and attempt to look away but your eyes keep feeding on the picture you painted yourself in your worst nightmares. Realizing you're on the brink of possible hyperventilation, your friend drops her head and asks you if you're okay. You look up at her, not knowing what to say as you realize that nodding furiously will convince her.

Mingyu has a girlfriend.

Of course he would. What were you thinking? This man is one of the most eligible bachelors in the country, why on earth would he be single? You’re unhinged, you decide, for thinking you may have a chance, when the woman turns around and you see her in full. She’s gorgeous.

A part of you still wants to believe that you're officially past the point of sanity and that you've begun to see Mingyu in every tall man. The universe, however, is cruel. He pushes his head up and in your general direction, and locks eyes with you in unmistakable recognition.

He stops smiling.

So here you are listening to Mingyu asking you to keep this a secret from the company, to forget the woman waiting for him in the lobby.

You can only nod in slight motions as he goes on his rant to justify his oath to secrecy, managing a tight lipped smile as you miraculously find your voice, hoarse as it may be.

'Don't worry about it, I understand' - ouch - 'it's none of my business anyway. I'll keep my lips sealed, I promise'

'Thank you, thank you, thank you I appreciate it so much, you don't even know. I'll repay you soon I promise'

'No, please, it's not-'

'No, Y/n I will. You're being really good to me right now and I'm so grateful. I'm sorry for putting you through this while you're off from work and with friends. It's worth to me that your listening and understanding'

You're tired. You want nothing but for him to stop talking. So you smile again and shake your head.

'I'm sure your friends are waiting, I won't keep you. I'll see you soon though!'

And with that he leaves. Back to the lobby where you see him take the woman by hand once again. You watch again as they walk to the elevators, stepping in and disappearing when the doors close. You watch the floor number rise.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

You walk back to your laughing friends before you can see where they got off.

***

Retiring to your shared hotel room with Chaeyoung, you fall back first into the crisp sheets and mattress.

'Why're you so depressed dude, did Mingyu say something to you?' She asks, a slight line forming between her brows.

'I'm fine, I've been up since 5 today it's just fatigue hitting me right now' you reassure, like always. 'I might not go to dinner with you guys, might end up with my face in the soup at some point'

Chaeyoung hums. ‘Take the night off so you can gear up for the rest of the week. I'm letting you off for now but I expect full attendance for eveything else we do', finishing with a mocking stern look.

'Yes ma'am' you feign salute from the bed, mimicking her stern tone.

You've known Chaeyoung for quite a while now, meeting her in your last year of uni. Trusting her as you do, you were never fully able to fess up about your feelings for Mingyu. Fear of judgment wasn't the problem, but more so the strange feeling of shame that overcomes you when you think about talking about it with other people. It's quite beyond you, why you act this way. You loved your friends and you knew they would support you with everything, they'd proved it when you'd made one of the most difficult decisions of your life while leaving your job. But the idea of having the audacity to love someone who could never do the same seemed like a feat of embarrassment.

Who are you, y/n? Who are you to have foolish dreams of a girl in love? With someone clearly fit for all things greater than you?

Maybe this was a good thing, you thought, the weird feeling in your stomach returning. Maybe this was the universe telling you to give up and move on, a kind of rejection that keeps your dignity. This was nothing but a reality check, a sign from whatever wants best for you, to bring your attention back to what brought you to Mingyu in the first place.

***

You didn’t see Mingyu for the rest of the trip, which you were grateful for not knowing how you’d react if you had to see him so soon after, that.

Back massaged and head clearer than it had been for weeks, you feel more in control of your feelings and thoughts regarding your life. You hope the conversation with Mingyu was the last stressful thing you’d encounter for a while.

It’s almost comeback season, you realise as you see the new concept photos while scrolling on your couch at home. This meant insanely early mornings for weeks on end, but you had to push through for your own sake. You’d come out of multiple comebacks needing a brace for a month but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Never realising the true meaning of learning through experience, you were enlightened as you entered this new, very hands on field. The concept looked interesting, hoping the scraps of makeup you’d be allowed to do would be fun for you.

That ended up being true when you were, for the first time, asked to do Hoshi’s full makeup for their first comeback broadcast.

Your stumped silence was short lived as you hastily oblige and get the chair ready for him. You’d looked at the demo sheets and face charts too much for someone who wasn’t actually going to be asked to do much, but you see it pay off as you finish his eyes and get started on the rest of his face. It was easy for you to zone out as Soonyoung had passed out not even 5 minutes in, having someone hold his face as you worked.

You felt your chest swell with an indesipherable feeling as you watched him get up with your mastery on his face; pride, was it? You were getting emotional for no reason. Your attention, however, is moved sharply when you hear someone tell Mingyu it was his turn, finding him plopped on your chair staring straight into nothingness as he’d just been rudely awoken from his nap. He doesn’t realise it’s you for a solid minute as he tried to remember his own name.

‘Oh, hello’ he says, sort of confused. ‘Sorry, just give me minute’, he mumbles as he rubs his eyes.

He stretches back onto his seat signalling he’s ready for you to get started. You trying not to feel too much in your stomach as you begin.

You’re powdering his forehead when he says “I know I already said this but I really appreciate what you’re doing”

You know he’s talking about the conversation at the hotel, you were hoping you could avoid it.

“I told you not to worry about it, honest.” You reply, and somehow manage to choke out “It makes me happy that you’re happy”

You can see him trying to fight a smile, “Thank you for saying that”.

You wanted to stab someone. But you opt for gently brushing a base colour across his eyes.

“Do any of us know her, by any chance?” You ask cautiously.

“I dont think so. We met through mutual friends at a Christmas dinner, we didn’t start talking till she had to bring me a bunch of papers I’d left at my mom’s that day.” his face depicts someone reminiscing a fond memory.

It was cute, how it seemed like fate was trying to bring them together. It would've been cuter if you weren’t in a one sided pining with one of the two lovers.

“Well, I hope it works out for the both of you”

No you don’t.

“I hope so too”

You don’t hope that at all.

You felt guilty, feeling all of this. Hated that this was your first response to him wanting to be happy. Never would you have imagined stooping this low, hoping his happiness doesn’t work out for your sake. You’d like to owe it this being your first real infatuation, but you can’t help but wonder if this was really what you thought.

You decided to focus on the good news for today, that you’re finally allowed to do your actual job. You can only hope this wasn’t a temporary advancement, allowing time to tell.

Things remained the same the following day, much to your absolute elation. You were done doing 4 people’s makeup and was just winding down to take a break, quite satisfied with yourself. You observed as the rest of the boys got their hair done and run around, half in their outfits. You stifle a snort as you watch Jeonghan hide Minghao’s socks in his pockets as the boy tried to find them to put his shoes on, the former continuing to sip on his coffee seemingly unaware.

“Y/n, have you seen my socks? The green ones with the leaves on it?” Hao inevitable asks you.

You’re forced to feign confusion when Jeonghan pokes his head behind him signalling you to keep up the charade. He continues to look and you’re just about to have mercy on the poor boy before a to-go cup of coffee is shoved in front of your face.

You look up at the person and it’s Mingyu extending his arm at you expectantly.

“Oh, I didn’t order anything” you start, thinking you’re clearing up a confusion.

“I know you didn’t, got one for you anyway.”

There’s a record screech in your brain as you absorb his words.

“Think of it as me trying to repay the favour”

Oh. I see.

You’re a little embarrassed thinking he’d get one for you in that way, not when he had someone waiting on him. You accept the cup and mumble a thank you as he unexpectedly plants himself on the couch next to you.

“I saw you drinking lattes a lot of the times, so I just got you that. Hope that’s okay”.

Your silent for a moment before replying “Yes!” a little bit too loudly, eyes widening a little realisng your lack of volume control.

He knows your coffee order.

“Yes,” you say again in a normal tone and a slight laugh to cover up your inability to read the room, “They’re my favourite actually”

Kim Mingyu knows you like latte’s. This wasn’t good for your delusional brain.

Your conversation is cut short when the boys are called for roll call before they can prepare for the actual stage. You watch him get up and leave to file into the overstuffed elevators, not before he throws you the most adorable wave you’ve ever seen. You can’t hold back your smile as you wave back and look down at the drink he got you before taking a sip.

***

As it turns out, you did makeup for the rest of their comeback season, and Mingyu, without fail, got you an iced latte every single day before leaving to go on stage.

You tried to get him to stop, but he was rooted in his position and you didn’t have it in you to say no to his pleading eyes. It was a re-charge for you, when you’d seen him break into a happy smile, prominent canines that you’d grown to adore. He’d done more than enough to ‘repay’ you for swearing to secrecy, and you felt like you too, should should repay him the balance.

So here you were, making banana bread in your kitchen again, careful to remember to crack your eggs on the rim of your mixing bowl instead of slamming them on the counter. You’re stirring the flour in when a classified devious thought occurs to you.

These past two weeks were pivotal for both you and Mingyu, daily coffee’s meant daily conversations, which meant getting to know one another more. You’d exchanged phone numbers in the midst of all of this, to which ensued the agenda of staying up till midnight talking to each other about the meaning of life.

Setting down the whisk, you pick up your phone and sent the text before you chickened out.

[You]: I have a surprise for you.

[You]: You wanna come over? It’s better enjoyed fresh lol

[Mingyu]: Ma’am? 👁👁

[Mingyu]: That sounds a whole lot like a booty call

[You]: *attachment*

[Mingyu]: IS THAT CAKE??

[Mingyu]: omw 😮‍💨

You send the location and set your phone down, a jittery feeling going through your entire body. There’s a spring in your step as you slide the loaf into the oven and set a timer. You turn around your kitchen island and register the pigsty that is your apartment. The girls were over the night before and you had done nothing to enlighten the aftermath, pillows strewn across the entire living room and snack wrappers in places you’re not sure how they landed.

By the time you’re done and spritzed the place with some of your nicer perfumes, your taking the loaf out of the oven and on a rack to cool.

Ever the punctual man, you hear the doorbell ring just as your taking your oven mitts off.

Hoping you’ve done enough to your apartment to save yourself from embarrassment, you collect yourself and open the door for him through your ringcam. He’s barely through when your rushing towards your doorway.

“Hi!”

“Hey,” he grunts as he tries to slip off his shoes.

“‘aight, where’s my cake?” he demands once he’s done giving you a quick hug.

You roll your eyes and usher him to the kitchen, “First of all, appreciate how excited you are to see me, and second, its banana bread not cake, sorry to burst your bubble”

He responds to your grumbling with an “Oh come on, you can't put freshly baked goods on the agenda and expect me to pay particular attention to anything else”.

He has his trademarked grin and cheesy stare out on display like its nobody’s business, you want to slap it off of him in the most loving way possible, but you settle with a tiny “shut up”.

“I brought warm coffee this time, thought it’d go better” He sets the to-go carrier on the kitchen counter, following you to where you were attempting to slice the still hot banana bread on a tray.

“Oh, that was a good idea” you say.

“Where’re your plates and forks?” he asks, pulling out the drawers and cabinets you signal to.

It all felt too domestic for your weak heart to handle. Not to say it didn’t warm you to the core how comfortable he felt in your space, you did, more than you’d care to admit. But he needed to tone it down before you required an organ transplant.

You were seated on the floor, butts parked on floor cushions, backs against the couch. The coffee table held all of your goods while you both argued on which movie to watch.

“I can’t believe you haven’t watched any of the Harry Potter movies! No, we’re watching philosopher’s stone, I don’t care!” You shout in disbelief, already typing it into the search bar on the TV.

“Philly-philo- bro I can’t even pronounce it why would I watch that?!” He yells back, snatching the remote from you.

You’re both a giggling, screaming mess on the floor as you keep trying to steal the remote from each other, not stopping until one of you bumps into the table and you almost spill hot coffee all over yourselves.

You decide to call a truce and pick another movie entirely.

Just as you’re pressing play, Mingyu takes a bite of the still (surprisingly) warm banana bread and you watch as his eyes roll to the back of his head.

“This is so good” He says, his faced furrowed as he goes in for another bite. “Did you lace this with something, why is this so good?”

You’re biting back a snarky remark but you let it rip anyway; “It’s cuz these pretty hands made it”

You splay your hands out in front of your face, like your showing him your rings, fingers wiggling and a cheeky smile on your face.

He looks unimpressed as he scoffs. He swallows before saying: “At least you didn’t call the secret ingredient love or something”

“Excuse you, I’m pretty sure I heard you say that in some Gose episode” You remark.

He turns to you, all smug: “So your saying you watch Gose? Like, regularly?”

You immediately turn away from his taunting smirk, “Sometimes, if it shows up on my home page”

You take a sip of your latte before he asks you another sweat producing question.

“Oh, but you pay attention to me the most don’t you? Don’t you?”

He’s poking fun at you, you know that. But a paranoid part of you can’t help but think he’s onto you and your feelings.

So you say something maybe a little bit below the belt.

“You sure have a knack for seeking validation from the world when you have a partner already giving that to you”

The words tumble out of your mouth before you know it. In your defence, you're doing this for a greater cause, but it's still a relief when you see him comically gasp, hand to his diaphragm.

“Just because your alone in life, doesn’t mean you need to be salty about other people receiving actual love” He spits back.

Your sputtering trying to think of a response. Deserved.

He grabs a slice of the bread and shoves into your mouth to shut you up once and for all. You’re left chewing the mouthful and staring at him in shock.

He giggles and takes a sip of coffee, satisfied with himself. When he sets it down he opens his mouth to speak. Closes it again, like he re-evaluating, and finally decides to say something. He’s serious now.

“Ji Eun and I, decided it wasn’t gonna work out between us”.

Oh.

“Oh.”

He blows a raspberry and lets out a meek laugh.

“Yeah, oh. It’s whatever, it wasn’t meant to work out. Better sooner than later.”

You’re trying to find the words to reply or comfort him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You ask him, being careful to not lace your voice with pity, but more neutral and open. “You don’t have to, obviously, but it might be better to talk about what’s bothering you”

He pauses for a moment before starting.

“She wasn’t sitting very well with the idea that she had to share me. Like at all. She wouldn’t say it but she’d get mildly infuriated when I’d blow the fans a kiss or something, or interacted with the staff too much. I was getting home quite late certain days during comeback season and I’d find her outside the dorm at like 11 PM. It was embarrassing when all of the other members would see her there, obviously upset and basically yelling at me for, for - for literally just doing my job.I guess all the smaller things just started piling and she couldn’t take it. I tried so hard to make sure she felt wanted and secure in the relationship but nothing felt like it was ever enough. She was evasive or confrontational all at the wrong times and it came to a point- its a horrible thought to have in a relationship - but I was terrified she’d do something rash and I’d wake up to my face on articles for some reason - again”

You recollected the past couple years when Mingyu was thrown around in the media for a new accusation seemingly everyday. You weren’t involved with anything regarding the industry back then, but you’d heard enough news to be aware of what was happening.

Your heart swelled with sadness as you heard him talk, he sounded like he was trying- trying hard to be good enough. All for a person who seemed to have their priorities set somewhere else.

“She was amazing; kind and happy and confident. She treated my parents with respect, she was best friends with my sister. I know we only lasted like 3 months but at some point I really considered that she could be the one. But then the problems started and I realized she was only becoming an added factor to stress and anxiety for me more than anything else.

“I liked her because she was so family oriented, and I thought that was what would fit me because I’m like that too. But, I guess I’m just a different kind of oriented? I don’t know. I have a job that’s both interpersonal and unpredictable. There’s days where I don’t wanna get up and do work but I still love it nonetheless. I guess she just expected me to have a predictable, stable 9 to 5. Home in time for dinner, not requiring interaction with too many people; basically everything I can’t be.”

He’s silent for a moment.

You start talking after a couple beats.

“I really hope you aren’t taking this like it’s your fault. She made a choice to put up with your work, knowing how it would be for the both you. You tried your best but she made you feel like your best wasn’t good enough. I dunno about you, but that sounds like a really problematic conclusion. If she truly cared for you and what you love, she would never have been this unsupportive or not understanding”.

He’s listening to you, his expression is blank but you can tell he’s absorbing your words.

“I’d like to think I had realized that. But being completely honest, I’m not really sure when my thoughts go back to me thinking I’m the problem all the time.”

He manages a smile, a wide one, as he looks up to make eye contact with you; “But I know it’ll take me some time to really start believing that it’s not entirely my fault. We just weren’t compatible, and that’s fine. We left on good terms, and I’m happy about that.”

You smile with him as he finishes, but your a little confused when he starts sliding closer and down the cushions.

He sets his head on your shoulder.

You may have shortcircuited right then and there.

“Is this okay?” he asks you quietly, attention finally diverted to the half played movie.

You realise he asked you a question and you have to answer.

“Yeah, this is fine” You breathe out, somehow, by the graces of God himself.

No, you weren’t fine at all. You felt like the universe had flipped a faulty switch, mixed up the scripts, lost the plot, something. But as you get used to the weight of Mingyu’s head on your shoulder, you pray it won’t come back to haunt you in another chapter.

***

Your routine became inverted in the sense that, what you once had to plan out so intricately, is unfolding with no effort from you at all.

You find that Mingyu waits for you to be done with somebody else so you can do his makeup, instead of sitting on another free chair. He’d come to you specifically to touch up his makeup instead of going to an artist he saw closer to him. He never forgot to get you a coffee whenever it was that he saw you.

Mingyu hadn’t slept over that night, instead leaving in his car despite the 1 AM drizzle and your insistence for him to stay until the pour recedes.

Maybe it was better for you that he hadn’t stayed that night. Something about how you grew so close ‘organically’ made you feel like this wasn’t all in your head, that he’s choosing to be your friend.

You’re handing him his clothes as he begins to change, using the excuse to whisper to him;

“I was gonna try a new brownie recipe tonight, if you’re free you can come over?”

“I think I have somewhere to be after this but I’m free after, How’s 6?”

So there you are, back in your kitchen folding chocolate chunks into your brownie batter while waiting for Mingyu to get here.

Your phone dings from the island and you check to see a message from Mingyu sending you what looked like a grocery list; pasta, oregano, garlic…

[Mingyu]: Tell me what you don’t have from this

[Mingyu]: I’m at the store rn hurry up

You send him a list of what you don’t have, realising he intended to have dinner with you too.

[Mingyu]: k thanks

[Mingyu]: be there in like an hour

There’s a warm feeling that’s swelling in your chest, that makes you wanna punch a wall because your so happy. You choose self control, mostly because this apartment is on a lease but also you’d probably break your knuckles trying to punch anything harder than a foam mat.

By the time Mingyu’s here, the brownies are in the oven and you’re almost done with the icing. He unpacks the groceries (and the warm lattes) he bought while you finish up, confirming that he was trying a new pasta recipe tonight. Setting the brownies and coffee down on your usual coffee table, you decide wait a couple hours before starting on making dinner, instead choosing to hear him ramble about an idol he met at an award show.

“So, we start talking before we’re ready to go up- you weren’t there you were working on wonwoo’s makeup- and he starts complimenting me and so obviously I start complimenting him back”

He’s waving his arms around, and setting positions with coasters on the table trying to explain the setting.

“He asks me if I have a sister and I’m like… yes? Which I should’ve realised where this was going because he then” - he pauses to take a deep breath - “this absolute asshat decides it’d be funny to ask me for her number because apparently ‘if you’re this hot, I’m sure any sibling you have is too’ BRO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT - how are laughing at this?!”

You calm yourself down for a second to clarify, “NO! It’s just hilarious how he thought that was okay to say”

You’re still still giggling in shock when Mingyu calms down, now also laughing incredulously.

“But actually though, please tell me you smacked him” you manage.

“I would have,” he grumbles “I got called to fix my hair cuz I ruined it or something”.

“Oh well, now you know who to avoid next time,” you say as you guide a bite of brownie into his mouth, “Forget about it now, eat sugar, it’ll help”

He chews a bit before swallowing, all while you’re watching him with an endeared smile on your face.

“Y’know, I really thought you didn’t like me when you first joined the team”

You pause mid sip of your coffee, brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“You never really talked me, did you? You were friendly with the rest of them but it just seemed like you never wanted to enter a room if you saw me there”

You’re looking at him in utter shock, this man was mistaking your avoidant (yet also pushy) teenage crush behaviour for dislike.

He’s looking at you expectantly, a little pout on his face.

“I never disliked you, why would you think that? I promise everything was a coincidence, it was nothing like that”

“Don’t get so defensive, kinda obvious you like me now if not before” He laughs at your panicked expression.

He meant platonic like.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that though, I’ve been told I have a pretty serious resting bitch face, it’s gotten me in trouble before” she smile sheepishly.

“It’s fine, you made up for it with that first banana bread” He says before taking another bite of brownie, “Could use more chocolate chunks”

You snort before pushing him with a sock clad foot, “Appreciate me even giving them to you”

You fall back to the adjacent sofa.

It’s quiet for a moment. But you feel like something’s shifted in the air.

You watch as he brings his hand to the same foot, holding onto your ankles. He’s caressing the exposed skin with his fingers, moving them back and forth. His eyes are glued to yours, looking like he’s in a trance. You’re not sure how to register this new change in mood, suddenly feeling like you need to turn the aircon on during the bleak Seoul winter. Just as you're hoping you don’t start sweating, you feel his vice grip on your ankle pull your leg over with a sharp tug. You scream as you lose support of the sofa and fall back.

You sit up in shock to find him leaning with his elbows on the floor, cackling like madman.

“Mingyu, what the fuck?”

“You-” He stops to laugh again, “You should’ve seen your face, PLEASE, it was hilarious”.

You huff before getting up shoving his shoulder with your foot again, “You’ve been playing guest a little too long, maybe it’s time you get started on that pasta”

“Will I be blessed enough to be receiving her highness’s help?” He asks.

He looks like a dream, clad in his T-shirt because he claims he doesn’t get cold. Hands behind him on the floor to give him support as he stares up at you, smiling wide. He’s looking at you with eyes full of stars and glitter.

You muster up the courage to give him a nasty glare, to which he huffs at and gets up, “Such a meanie”.

It’s hard to conceal your smile as his back his turned, sachaying towards the kitchen. You want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.

Your washing veggies in the sink when you turn around catch sight of his back as he stood at the kitchen island, sorting the rest of the ingredients. You get the same overwhelming feeling in your chest again, assuming you’re deluding yourself into thinking this is what life could be like with him. In less than 3 seconds, you’ve conjured a timeline of domestic routines, to wind down with him like this every evening.

You’re still lost in thought, still incessantly staring when he turns around and catches you in the act. He does the rude thing and snaps his fingers in front of your face to pull you out of your thoughts, “You okay?”

“Yeah” You say trying to gloss it over while busying yourself trying to find your cutting board.

“Are you sure? Do you wanna sit down at the island and watch me instead. You don’t have to help -”

“Pick a knife, and shut up dingus, it’s fine”

Once your both done eating and cleaning up, Mingyu hugs you goodbye, not before asking if you’d be free for lunch next week before he got busy the following month. You quickly agree, setting a date and time, bidding your (reluctant) farewells.

***

Once back in your apartment you realize how you can’t clean up to distract yourself because Mingyu took it upon himself to clear the space with you before he left. You sigh loudly and retire into your bedroom where you don’t have to think about how empty your living room is.

Changing into your pajamas and putting a headband on, you don’t even feel like turning your music on to do your night routine. You double cleanse, tone, serum, acid and moisturise your face with added purposefulness, taking note of the crevices of your nose and the neglected bottom of your chin. Taking extra time to make sure all of the foam is out of your skin before drying your face with a tissue.

You look at your fed skin in the mirror, and feel a weird surge of tears well in your eyes. Before they can fall you slam your bathroom cabinet to busy yourself to find your melatonin gummies, shoving them in your mouth before switching off the bathroom light and retiring to your bedroom.

Slipping the headband off and sliding into bed, you’re still chewing your gummies to a paste in your mouth. Trying not to notice how heavy you’re breathing you try to find your white noise machine, the one you found advertised for infants, and turn it on before grabbing your book to read for a few extra minutes.

Your staring at the pages like you found them to be blank. You’re phone dings next to you, signalling a notification.

Picking it up you find your mental health app sending you a daily reminder.

You’re allowed to feel your emotions.

***

Winter had run its course as you find yourself in April. You never really liked the cold, having been more sensitive to a gust of wind than the average joe, you were better suited to sitting with an aircon instead of being unable to move in the middle of Korea’s January cold rush. But alas, the cherries are blossoming and your fingers have defrosted.

That isn’t what’s on your mind right now though, as you’re standing in a Sephora, arms crossed and shoulders tense. You loved shopping for makeup, but you mostly chose to do it online unless you really had to otherwise. Parking yourself in the perfume section with the scents mixing together a cocktail of nosehair doom, you really wish you’d worn a face mask. Not to mention the migraine inducing coloured lights and mainstream pop playing in the background (you swear they’ve been playing Side to Side by Ariana Grande on loop since you got here).

These were all, however, peripheral observations for you, as you stare in absolute pneumonic shock at the number written on the price tag of the perfume you’re looking at.

Now, Mingyu is a man of class, high maintenance if you will. You’re well aware he likes to spoil himself, because he has a bank account to back it up.

Your bank account is definitely full and secure, but not enough for you to justify dropping what seems like half of its contents to something only one of the five senses can experience.

Mingyu mentioned in passing how he wanted this perfume a while ago, and knowing that he hadn’t ordered it for himself just yet, you decide to be the amazing friend that you are and surprise him for his birthday.

You may be regretting that right now, but you tentatively pick up the blue, crystalline bottle and spritz a bit on a paper strip before taking a whiff. It smelled good, that’s for sure, and it suited him too. So when the saleslady came to offer assistance, after you excused the last three, you decide you’re going to do this for him.

“Yes, could I have this in the box please?”

Walking back to your car you feel a bount of jitter run through you,

Oh, he’s gonna freak out when he sees this.

He did, in fact, freak when he saw it, and his reaction made you want to give him all of the good things in the world if you could see him like this all the time.

He’s smiling ear to ear and speaking in that high pitched voice that he gets when he’s excited. He’s thanking you over and over again, smoothing the box over in his hands repeatedly, looking at the ‘from: y/n :p’ with hearts in his eyes.

“I’m gonna save this for the rest of my life” he says, with determination and a goofy grin.

You snort at the declaration, “Sure, bud”

“I’m serious. What, you wanna bet?” he replies, taking a sip of his, latte, which you proudly credit yourself for swerving him over from Americano’s.

He insisted on going out to eat at this fancy French place a day before his actual birthday as he’d be busy on the day of, but it was risky for him to be seen eating out alone with a young woman at such a fancy place. You settled for a nicer traditional Korean restaurant, that allowed you to book a room away from possible prying eyes and one that you were both comfortable with. You decided to wait till you were back in the car with your post dinner coffee’s to give him his present.

“I’m giving you 3 months before that bottle’s dry to the dregs” You affirmed, “You smell like you empty half a bottle of something off your dresser everyday anyways”

You said it as an insult, but jokes on you because you loved the way he smelled.

“Fine, I’m gonna use this so carefully I’m not replacing it for at least a year”

“A year? What happened to the rest of your life?” you refute.

“I have you for that, don’t I”

What the fuckity fuck.

He’d turned to you, leaning on the headrest, that signature cheesy look; like he was in love or something. Voice dropping a couple octaves as he said it, laced with something defined and strong - enough for it to feel like the weight of an elephant had dropped on your chest.

You gather yourself after looking at him for a couple seconds, jaw unhinged and forgotten on the floor of his car. You chose to grab your cardigan that was neatly folded on the dash, and astral project it to his face across the seat. He’s laughing so hard there’s tears glistening in the corner of his eyes. He falls forward and you see strands of his hair fall to his face, he’d been growing them out.

“Shut up” you grumble in your seat, annoyed at how easy it was for him to send your heart through and beyond your chest.

He’s still giggling like a school girl, and you cave and give him a hint of a smile.

“There it iiiis” He announces, grabbing your face and smushing your cheeks together.

For a moment, he stops to look at you like this, like he’s contemplating. For one, brain rattling, organ exploding, microsecond, you think he might even kiss you.

Instead, he headbutts you slightly rubbing his head swiftly before letting go.

“I might need to wash my hands, I think I got your makeup on me” He mumbles, looking at his hands like a child with mud soaked palms.

“Serves you right, you buffoon,” You remark as you pull out your trusty travel pack of makeup wipes.

Yanking one out of the tab, you pull his hand over and try to wipe the remnants of foundation off, starting from the heel up to each individual finger. It’s silent as you concentrate on getting it all off both hands, he was wearing black tonight and knowing him he’d rub his hand over his pants and get beige foundation all over. You knew because you’d seen him do it one too many times.

“All done” you quip, looking up and catching his stare. He’s smooth to slowly look away and retract his open hands from your lap about 5 seconds after it became noticeable.

You busy yourself by attempting to stash away the wipes to throw out later, closing the pack of wipes and shoving them back into your bag.

He’s watching you do all of this, his stare is burning holes into the side of your head. He’s desperate to say something, but you’re not sure if you want to hear.

“Let’s go back to my place. We’ll stick a candle into a sheet brownie and call it your birthday cake. Oh, we can pick up ice cream too!”, You say, costuming your voice to sound unaffected by his vibe.

And so you did stick a candle in the fresh batch of brownies you both made at 11PM, two hours before his actual birthday. Sitting across from each other on the counter, Mingyu has his eyes closed shut, hands clasped, wearing a ridiculously coloured ‘BIRTHDAY BOY’ headband you found somewhere deep in your drawers.

“You’re gonna get wax on the brownies and they're gonna be inedible, hurry up” You groan, after everytime it seems like he’s done, he clenches his eyes shut again as he remembers another thing he has to wish for.

You’re not actually annoyed, he looks the cutest he’s ever looked, but you would appreciate non waxed brownies.

When he’s finally done, he blows out the singular candle and you clap lightly, “yay!”

You’re pulling out the candle and grabbing forks, dumping a couple scoops of ice cream on before you two start eating straight out of the pan.

Its a collection of groans as you both collapse on your couch, regretting eating all that so soon after dinner. He changed out of his dinner outfit to a T-shirt and pajama pants, he’d started keeping a set of clothes in his car when it started to become routine for him to spend regular evenings after work at your place.

You’re in your own unicorn pajama’s, slumped over on the arm rest slightly. You feel Mingyu scooch over to put his head in your lap, claiming he was “closing his eyes for a minute”.

You knew how lightning fast he passes out, so not even 5 minutes later you start to hear his light snores. As much as you want to wake him up to move him to the bed, you know he can’t stay the night. His birthday meant he had to be with the boys, and needing to head out early tomorrow.

So you give him 10 more minutes, fingers tracing the shape of his features, in his soft hair massaging his head with your nails slightly. He had a little pout on his face as he slept. Things had been hectic for him lately, having a comeback later in the month and the plethora of music and variety shows to follow.

Mingyu had been writing lyrics on the kitchen island one day, sputtering random words as you quipped in rhymes of your own without context, stirring the pot of soup on the hob at the same time.

One particular rhyme you spew out catches him off guard and he barks out a laugh at the ridiculous combination.

“I should put you on song credits for this”

“What do you think my producer name could be?”

He thinks for a second, “Banana bread sounds stupid, um, how’s brownie?”

“Cute, and serious enough” you agree, “I’ll be expecting to see my name on that album, sir”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you turn your attention back to the sleeping man curled up in your lap. You wonder if you could fall asleep on the couch too, keep him here with you for the night. Be a little selfish. It’d be nice, making waffles for breakfast when morning comes. But he needed to be at the dorm in the morning, the boys knew where he was but managers that’d come pouring in at 7 AM sharp, did not. And it was best kept that way. The last thing Mingyu wanted, you knew, was people getting the wrong idea. The thought stung a little bit, but you knew not to mix your hopes with what reality was giving you.

So you gather the courage to slowly reign him back from dreamland.

***

Your sitting with Mingyu and Seungkwan on the couches outside the dressing rooms, a little bit before they have to go to perform. You were done with your agenda and was waiting for them to start filing out before beginning to pack up.

“No, because why does he get to eat all the good stuff right out the oven and we don’t, that’s not fair” Seungkwan complained loudy to you, a mildly offended look on his face.

“Stop being such a complain bot, you’re never happy if I have nice things” Mingyu retorts, increasingly nasty looks being exchanged for an argument about freshly baked goods.

“Oh, I’m the hater?! Let me jog your memory, who was the one sulking and shoving me around when Y/n wouldn’t let you-”

Mingyu had jumped up and pulled Seungkwan into a headlock, his poor Americano half flying across the hall as he yells out in disarray.

“YAH!” cued with more noises of struggle and muffled threats.

You chose to embrace the violence by sitting in your seat and laughing as Vernon recorded their antics from the doorway inside eventually circing them for his supposed cinematic effect, catered for the inevitable weverse post that was to come.

Cut to them apologizing and cleaning up the mess of coffee and disregard.

You decide to be nice and attempt to make peace by reassuring Seungkwan, “Come over after you’re done promoting this week, I’ll make up for all the bread and cookies you missed out on”

“If you've finished with your escort duties Y/n, could you please come in and do your day job?”

The voice came from the doorway of the dressing room, your senior makeup artist standing there with her usual mildly inconvenienced expression. It took you a minute to fully understand what she meant by that sentence, your body completely still.

“Offended? What, like I’m wrong?”

You were no stranger to insulting behaviour in work places, but they’d always been revolving around your actual job description. People who didn’t like you knew they had to be smart on how they treated you regardles.

This was different. This felt like you were projected back in time to your solemn middle school days to mean girls taunting you about your spongebob socks, except multiply that by about a thousand.

You feel your stomach begin to churn as that nauseous feeling of shame began to settle itself into your veins.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting there but when she slightly raises her voice; “Are you getting up or not?” your hands actively begin to tremble the slightest amount.

You’re making moves to get up by puting your coffee cup down, not knowing what to do except follow commands.

Your interrupted by a voice from behind; “She’s coming in, give us a minute”

Mingyu’s standing there, his expression stoic as Seungkwan and Vernon looked as stunned as you felt. You don’t register it in the moment, but the people in the hall, venue staff and those for other artists have also silenced, watching the scene unfold.

Her lips are in a tight line, her expression remaining irritated as she steps back inside the room.

You realise you need to do something to diffuse the escalated situation. Letting out a breathy laugh, you get up and tell them that you’ll be going inside, trying to keep your expression pleasant and unaffected, not waiting before turning around to spare them the burden of a response. People get yelled at everyday, and this is no different. You aren’t gonna be the one to make a scene out of a regular occurrence.

You know what's coming when you get inside, she’s waiting as she pulls you aside.

“Your behavior has been quite concerning recently, let me remind you of your place here and what you were hired to do. You've been dilly dallying with people who aren't even your friends, and its quite funny that you’d think they are. It's time to wake up from wasting your time making heart eyes at men who are way out of your league. I won't tolerate any more nonsense from you, and trust I won’t be this nice or forgiving the next time this happens”

You choose to nod your head.

“That’s another thing, use your own words. Don’t think other people are gonna be there all the time to speak for you” She spits out, her professional front slowly eroding the more she spoke.

“Yes, ma’am” You say, hoarse voice.

“Louder, next time”, she stalks out as majority of the people in the room also begin to leave for the filming downstairs.

You’re left standing awkwardly in front of the racks of clothes, trying to digest what just happened to you. Looking around the room, you try to figure out what your supposed to do.

Clothes on the couches, eyeshadow brushes on the floor. There’s a torn sponge resting underneath one of the chairs, a couple styrofoam boxes left on the tables from lunch.

There’s so much for you to do, you arent sure how you thought you had time to sit down and chat. But you’re not sure where to begin either. The room is a mess of smells and colours even without the buzzing noise of people getting ready. Tears begin to form as you try to navigate what you’re supposed to do, realising you can’t possibly find a starting point for any of this mess. Before you have time to think of anything else, a hand is holding onto your wrist, small and soft.

It’s Yoona, another one of the makeup artists.

“Y/n, I think it’s best if you go home, it’s been tiring.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle her. Just trust me. Go home you’ll feel alot better”

She notices you hesitate for a second, and goes in to give you a hug.

It felt nice, to be hugged by a friend. For some reason, it didn’t feel like she was pitying you, her expression and aura reassuring you that you didn’t have to stand here alone.

“Whatever happened today shouldn't have happened, but you don’t need to think about that right now. Go home and do nice things for yourself, we’ll figure it out later. You have my number, give me a text once you get home. We can go out later if you want, when I get off work, to get your mind off things”

You’re not sure how you’re holding back the waterpark that has become of your tearducts as you hear those words from an unsuspecting friend, you nod with a smile. You feel a little more calm.

You can’t tell if you care enough to consider the consequences of your senior finding out how you’re doubling or nothing on your already posed humiliation. But the only thing you can think of right now is your bed and the ceiling you’d stare burn holes into.

So you, for the first time in a while, chose to choose yourself by picking up your satchel and leaving the chaos behind you as you walk to your car.

***

Just because you were brave where it mattered most doesn’t mean you weren’t allowed to cry.

You had come home, shot Yoona a brief text, and promptly began to sob the absolute Nile into your sheets.

You had never cried like this before, loud wracked sobs coming from a place in your chest you had locked away during a time you couldn’t even remember. You’re breathing after every choked cry is a sputtered intake of life, only to spit it back out as you let out another sob of what sounds like agony. There’s nothing in your head, nothing but the words that were spoken to you as echoes of your own mind. Hypocritical of you to hate them when the same words circled in your head like a mantra every cursed, unfortunate day. She had done you a favour, by spitting out the truth you’d stewed, chewed and kept in your mouth ever since you got here. This was a you problem, to believe that you were capable of things beyond your bracket. You were told by the universe, screamed at by the world, that this was never meant for you, and you chose to ignore it. You chose to be stubborn. You brought this misery upon yourself.

Once you’ve disposed your body weight of tears and snot and burden, you’re left to stare at your innocent sheets now stained with mascara and your sorrows. You crawl into your covers and rest your muscles for a few seconds, head empty. You aren’t sure when you drift off, but you're glad that you do.

You don’t dream for once.

***

You wake up feeling like you drank a gallon of water and went to sleep. Your eyes, nose and throat feel like they’ve been over watered yet dry at the same time. You don’t realise what’s really arising pangs of irritancy in your brain once you figure out the consistent sound is a door bell. You’re doorbell, of the house that you live in.

You’re slow to push yourself up, realising your slept in your day clothes. It’s dark out but you're not sure what time it is, and quite frankly, you can’t say you care enough to check. You need to silence your doorbell first, which can only be done by silencing whatever hell sent individual was playing drums on the button outside.

It’s a record screech in your brain as you peer through your peephole and realise who the aforementioned hell sent individual was.

Mingyu was outside your door.

You don’t realise you look like you crawled out of a sewer till it’s too late and you’ve already opened the door through muscle memory. Mingyu was always welcome in your space.

He was in casual clothes, his hair pushed back from the guessed hands that ran through it, but he was still in stage his stage makeup.

“Oh, were you sleeping?” He asks, eyes a little wide, expression cautious.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll go then, you weren’t answering your phone for anyone and you told Yoona you were home but you weren’t opening the door, i was worried. Sorry I ringed it so much I probably should’ve assumed-”

He stops to look at you, and it’s like realizes something before he finally says; “Just wanted to make sure you were okay, I’ll see you around. I’ll leave you alone”

“Wait,” you croak out, licking your lips, conscious of your morning voice, “Can you stay? Please? If you can.”

He stops to look at you, expression changing from sheepish to defensive.

“No! I mean, yes. Yes. I’ll stay. I’ll stay for as long as you want”

You let him in as he slips off his shoes and you lead him to the living room. His presence in the familiar place seems like it last happened eras ago, when he was only here maybe a week prior.

“You know where everything is, I’ll be back gimme like 5 minutes”

You’re scared to look at yourself in your bathroom mirror, so you don’t, and choose to scrub your face looking down at your sink. You change into a sweatshirt and trouser loungewear set, deciding to save your dignity a little bit further as you brush your hair and clip it back with a claw clip.

You take a breath before entering the living room again.

He’s sitting on the floor in your usual place, two steaming mugs on the coffee table, the tabs hanging out of the cup. He made you tea.

You sit down next to him, not really prepared for what you should be saying.

“How long has she been speaking to you like that?” He asks you quietly.

“She was always kinda itchy and uptight and stuff but, it was never like this” You say.

“Regardless, whatever that was, it was, wrong, uncalled for, all of those things” He says, sputtering a little bit.

He stops and sighs. It’s silect for a minute before he turns in his seat to face you, grabbing your folded legs and pulling you to face him too.

“Yoona heard everything she said to you after you went in, she heard it all. And she knows about some other stuff too. If you think, even for a second, that I’m not your friend, I might actually think there’s something wrong with you.

“If everything we’ve been through this past, almost a year, doesn’t amount to us at least being friends then I don’t know what it means to have one at all. You’re the first person in a while I’ve been able to be this open with. You know me better than most people, you’ve seen me at my worst and at my best. I’ve let you read me all you want, because I know I can be an open book if it’s you. I trust you more than I can trust myself sometimes, and I really wish you would trust me too.”

You’re watching him as he says all of this, you look up to make eye contact a couple times, and he’s looking at you everytime you lift your head.

“I do trust you. Probably more than anyone else. It’s myself I don’t trust. It’s hard for me to open up, I’m scared I’m gonna say something that’ll scare you away. And, I just thought maybe she was right today, that I need to realise that it can’t be that way between us, I have a job to do”

“What can’t be between us?”

“I like you, Mingyu. Like, I’m basically in love with you and have been since I fucking met you. I couldn’t believe that you could possibly be friends with someone like me, a confused, all over the place airhead who can’t tell right from left sometimes, forget you ever liking me. All that happened is that we became friends and I thought that this was as far as fate was gonna push us. All today told me was that … that was an overextension too. It was a wake up call that I can’t have everything in life. Things were going too well for us and I was letting myself think it could stay that way forever. I’m sorry for being this way, I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable and out of place. This is the last thing you’d want to hear from a friend and I’m sorry I’m putting you in this situation right now and that you had to go through that today-”

You don’t finish what your saying because you're interrupted. Interrupted by arms pulling you forward and into Mingyu in front of you.

Your both sitting in your living room at 3 AM, on the floor in front of your sofa like you both have so many times. Except now, Mingyu is holding you in his arms, and kissing you so delicately it hurts.

It’s warm, like getting into bed after a long day, the scent of home and security engulfing you as you begin to forget about the qualms of life.

He’s moving his lips slowly, with care and a feeling so overflowing you can’t describe.

He lets go slowly and rests his forehead against yours, his arms are around you tight, legs wrapped around your entire body so you can't escape - physically or mentally.

“You dumbass” You hear him say.

“I love you,Y/n. More than anything. And I need you to know that you don’t have to hide. If you think your thoughts are a burden then I want to carry it for you. I want you to realise you’re not alone. I want you to stop pushing me away. Everytime I want to do something nice for you, you try to push the effort to something else, everytime I try to take care of you, you have this look that makes me think you feel guilty for taking up my time or something. Everytime I think you’re about to ask me to stay the night, you remind me I have priorities and I should go, even though I know you want me to stay with you. I want you to stop caring so much for how other people feel and realise you can demand the same from the universe too. You deserve love and to be treated with care. You need to let people do that for you, love.”

Your looking at him now, your turn to have stars in your eyes.

He loves you.

And you feel it. You feel it in his words, in his eyes, in the kisses he’s leaving on your face, in his arms that are wrapped around you, ready to shield you from the world.

You don’t say anything as you fall into his chest, head on shoulder, relaxed body in the cage he’s made for you. You close your eyes as the tears are burning down your face. Except, this time they’re because your relieved.

You both got up from the uncomfortable floor and moved to your bed, still tangled within each other as you clarified everything else.

You found out that majority of the people who heard it were very upset at the situation, but didn’t know how to approach or confront her.

Seungkwan almost bust a blood vessel after he had digested what had happened, disbelief and threats on his tongue as he refused to get touched up by her during filming, apparently making a point to walk to somebody else. Seungcheol was thinking of trying to bring up the problem to management, considering how Mingyu too was distracted all the way home.

“The rest of them have gotten quite protective of you too, I think. It’s not like I shut up about you”

Apparently the only reason you were asked to start taking charge on makeup was because some of the other senior artists pressured your mentor to stop restricting you. It made you feel a little more secure that it wasn’t just you that felt pushed down.

She didn’t like that you were doing so well, considering it meant she was wrong about you and your abilities. It hurt her ego a little bit that people stopped preferring her to do their makeup or their touchups, how they wouldn’t interact with her the same way.

“Alot coming from a middle aged, married woman, attention seeking like a child” Mingyu added, scoffing with a sour face as he nuzzled into the crown of your head.

“The boys really like you by the way, they’ve been rooting for us since forever” He says, and your heart swells unimaginably so; you felt loved, so so loved.

You scooch up to plant a kiss on the underside of his chin and then one on his lips.

“That makes me happy”

“I’m happy that you’re happy. You deserve to be happy, everyday” He smooches you on the face again. “Oh, and don’t worry about that stinky face I’ll take care of her”

You laugh at the determination in his voice, but you wanted to clarify something.

“Please, let me handle her myself. I’ll ask for help if she’s stubborn but I wanna try by myself first”

“That was hot”

You push his chest away as you bark out a laugh at the random comment, hiding you face, by turning the other way.

He battles that by pull you back into his chest and continuing his atics

“What I can’t call my girlfriend hot. You’re hot. Your the sexiest motherfucker I’ve ever seen” smooch “You’re beautiful” and again “amazing” and again “gorgeous spectacular-”

You don’t fall asleep until the sun has well made its way up the sky, taking the executive decision to sleep in till way past lunch and maybe even take a nap afterwards.

You don’t care how it goes, because your happy just being with him.

***

You met with Yoona a couple days later at a cafe.

“Seungcheol asked us if we were facing the same kind of behaviour from her too. And everyone told him she was stuck up and rude and stuff. He said he wanted to bring it up to management but it didn’t really concern him directly so they wouldn’t listen. He told us to do so ourselves and we thought about it, but we’re gonna need to tell them about that too”

You nod your head as you listen to her speak, it was making sense.

“I dont mind going up to management at all and talking about it. I get that the rest of the stuff is a little too tame to be considered, which sucks because she shouldn’t be talking to us like that at all”

“Mhm, and I was thinking we could vouch for you on how she was restraining you for almost a year. Basically not letting you do your job. That’d be a another thing for them to think about”

“Yeah. Let’s do it asap, how’s this Monday?”

“Perfect, I’ll add everyone to a group chat and let them know”

And go up to management you did, who were surprisingly understanding. Apparently having received multiple reports and even videos of the most recent incident to act as proof. It was working out for all of you, and it proved to stay that way as they responded with a promise to shift her to a different department.

You had gone home that day feeling fulfilled and relieved. Mingyu, a man with spectacular timing had also proceeded to send you a text as a distraction,

[Mingyu]: Kwan wants to come over

[Mingyu]: something about croissants

[Mingyu]: Should he text you ab it?

[You]: yeah ofc

[You]: I’ll order the butter

[You]: you tell him to text me lol

Two nights ago felt like it happened last year with all the unimaginable advances deciding to happen within the past 48 hours. Right now you were more excited for the company you were about to recieve, more concerned with making sure you made the best batch of croissants Seungkwan ever did see.

***

You were in the car with Mingyu outside the company building, waiting until the clock struck 9 to go inside.

Today was the last day you’d think about this, being called up for a face to face meeting with the staff member, so she could formally apologise. The team had planned a dinner tonight, to celebrate the end of her ‘wicked reign’ as Yoona described it.

You were finding friends everywhere, ones that were always there, pulling through for each other as you yourself navigated a new direction of thinking for yourself. You were learning to walk past your anxiety ridden desire to draw lines with everyone, as you took the first step with the dinner tonight. It would be fun for you, and a bond you’d begin to build.

You learned that you weren’t delusional anymore, and that Mingyu did love you the same. It had only been a week or so, but one of the happiest weeks of your life, despite everything. He was teaching you more lessons than he thought he was.

Mingyu squeezes your hand from the driver’s side as it was past 9, “Let’s go?”

“Lets go”

***

Mingyu’s way too enthusiastic as soon as he wakes up, indulging you in a morning (afternoon) makeout session, claiming he doesn’t care for you morning breath.

“Well I do!” you exclaim, pushing him off with a giggle “About your morning breath, stinky”

He clutches his chest in dramatic offense, “How could you? I thought you loved me”

You respond my projecting a cushion to his face.

“Do you want pancakes or eggs for breakfast?” You ask, legs hanging over the bed.

Mingyu looks up, a wicked glint in his eye, and you immediately know he’s going to say something of no help.

“I want you for breakfast” He says, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you back in bed.

“MINGYU!”

Needless to say, all was well.

#seventeen #carat #svt #svt fluff #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen fluff #mingyu #mingyu fluff #mingyu angst #mingyu fic #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu scenarios #kim mingyu #svt x reader #em.writes

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pvssychicken · 4 months ago

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Deserve To Love

Pairings: Chris x ADHD/Anxiety!reader

Summary: After messing up yet another friendship due to her impulsivity, y/n starts to question whether or not she even deserves to be loved.

Warnings: Anxiety attack, self harm, angst, pet names, fluff (idk i mightve missed something)

A/n: This is my first fanfic, I know its really bad, im sorry if there are any errors.

Dividers by @bernardsbendystraws

Y/n's POV

3:05pm

When I got home, I immediately ran to my room, slammed the door, and collapsed on my bed in tears.

I knew arguing back with Samantha was a bad idea, but my emotions were so high, I couldnt control my actions. I didnt realize what I was doing until it was already done.

I could hear my phone blowing up, but i just completely ignored it. I knew that it was either Samantha trying to start more shit, or one of her friends trying to start shit with me. Luckily I had enough controt on my emotions at the moment to know that engaging with them was a bad idea.

Eventually though, I caved. I started reading all of the messages they were sending me, and I started to believe it when they told me that im "A self centered asshole who doesn't deserve to be loved."

I was bawling by the time I had finished reading all of the messages. I couldnt take it anymore. I got up from my bed and ran into the bathroom. I grabbed my razor from the shower and started to take it apart. Halfway through, somethng stopped me, I suddenly rembered, I promised chris i wouldnt do it again. Was breaking 3 months of sobriety worth it? But then i remembered everything that Samantha and her friends said to me, and i knew that this was for the best.

Chris POV

4:00pm

Y/n wasnt responding to my texts or calls, and I was fucking worried. After about and hour of her not responding I eventually decided to go to her house, to make sure everything was okay. Her friends had told me that she got into an argument earlier that day, and i had a really bad feeling about why she wasnt responding.

I got to her house and immediately went up to her room, scared of what id find.

I was shocked to find her in my fresh love hoodie (that had blood stains on it already), on her bed, fast asleep, with her mascara running down her face.

I went and sat down next to her, and softly rubbed her arm to wake her up.

"Baby? Whats the matter" I asked, whilst trying to wrap my arms around her.

But she didnt let me. Instead she just rolled over, so she was facing away from me.

"You dont have to keep up the act Chris, you dont have to keep pretending that you care." Her voice was soft, and trembling. "I know youre just pretending to like me because you feel bad for me, you dont have to lie anymore. I know im a self centered bitch who doesnt deserve love"

She then sat up and looked at me, with tears in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around her body, like she was trying to hide something.

"Oh baby, who told you that? Because it is not true" My eyes were now starting to well up with tears, I couldn't bear to hear her talk about herself this way. "I love you so much, and I think that you are the least self centered person ive ever met. Come here" I spoke, wrapping my arms around her. She winced when i gave her a little squeeze, and i then knew what she was hiding.

"Hey sweetheart, can you please roll up your sleeves for me?" She hesitantly looked at me, before rolling up her sleeves, exposing the new scars. "Oh honey, I wish you wouldve come and talked to me before you did anything."

"I-I know, im sorry. I understand if youre mad at me." She buried her face into my chest. Instead of responding, I just pressed kisses to every new scar that had appeared that day, showing her that i could never be mad at her and that she deserved all the love in the world.

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo imagine #matt stuniolo fanfic #chris sturiolo fanfic

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r3linx · 5 months ago

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⇄ ◁◁ 𝚰𝚰 ▷▷ ↻ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⁰⁰'²⁵ ━━●━━───── ⁰²'⁰⁸

╰┈➤ characters... •`HAYATO SUO´•.

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ SYNOPSIS... silly smoker yn thinking she could get away with that nasty habit but suo catches her and yeah... lectures her?? ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ WORDCOUNT...0,9k ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ WARNINGS...: tw! smoker yn, suo quite literally licked your hand, sfw, fluff, comforting, slight angst [if u squint enough trust me you'll see it], nonbinary reader ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ OTHER... reblogs, likes and requests are appreciated!

a/n: like i said. yeah. sorry i let my inner demons decide what i write and i really needed to do this cuz i want to quit smoking so bad and i need smth to give me reassurance >-< (also i didn't read the whole in the end, just finished it cuz i had a rough day and im lazy for that so im just posting it,sorry if there's any errors in it or sounds dumb sometimes)

birds chirping. everything quieted down around you, almost as if the world stopped spinning. the cold breeze brushed against your skin, leaving goosebumps scatter all over your arm. the sun almost disappeared on the horizon, making the sky glow with orange, yellow and different but incredibly warm and beautiful shades of pink.

knees pulled up to your chest, all alone in the whole school you sat outside on the cold, gray concrete stairs, ragged by time and weather. here and there weeds peeking out through the cracks which was already stomped on by others till it was barely visible.

‘finally.. some alone time, all I could wish for..’ no one to listen to, no one to talk to, no one to match their standards. just you and your own train of thoughts.

holding the roll of tobacco in-between your pointer and middle fingers, raising up it to your dry lips and taking a long, final puff. the cigarette slightly warming up the end of your fingers by its light but also leaving a nasty essence behind. then tossing it aside, nothing left in it as you watched the smoke still pouring out from it between the strands of thick grass.

you pressed out a long exhale from your lungs, this time letting your eyes flutter close and just for a quick moment trying to forget everything. your ears ringed louder and louder by each second, feeling like passing out then and there—

“hey.” you snapped you eyes open at the sudden voice. gentle, yet carrying a lot of depth in his tone. without a question or remark, the person simply just taking a seat next to you. ‘great..’ you huffed, following his movements with your eyes till he comfortable positioned himself beside you, now being on eye level with you. you said nothing. he remained silent.

“are you just gonna sit there?” you spit out, irritation filling up your blood to which the individual took a simple glance down to you lap, where your hand was resting.

“may i?” questioning, you couldn’t find the usual warmness in his words this time, instead replaced by bitterness. again, just before a reply could be formed, ghosting his hands over yours, placing it on his with care, bringing it up to his mouth. the one you held the cigarette with.

soft, lips. softer than yours at the moment. grazed the top of your hand, your knuckles, the end of your fingers -eyes widened, you watched him.. and so did he. not with a smile. his eyebrows lowered. his gaze abused your soul, piercing it through from the inside.- still, carefully but with stone hard determination, pressing a kiss to your hand. and another. the third, with somewhat open mouth. hot tongue joining his lips on your skin, just for a quick moment, taking in the taste of your skin. then lets your limb down, releasing from his grasp.

suo eyed your features with interest. taking note of your shocked state and crimson red color dancing across your cheeks, reaching up to your ears. his gaze still heavy on you, he tucked an unruly lock behind you reddened ear.

“just needed confirmation.” no explanation, no apologies. he wouldn’t apologize for a kiss on your hand, why would he?

“confirmation of?”

“of you still damaging your body.” he replied, patience running thin. he wasn’t born today to know and realize, seeing through all your lies and poker faces like it was thin paper, held up in front of the bright sun. “no need to for the poor acting of yours. ever since I first saw that between your fingers, you kept me on my toes.” you were aware of what he told you about smoking, it played on repeat all the time you lit the cigarette. but it was one time, no harm, right? or you thought. you weren’t aware of the fact how he knew your promise was a lie. the promise to quit it. the rumors echoed into his ear, you sitting here every single day after school, alone in your peace. alone, until this day.

looking everywhere but him, one of your legs started tapping on the ground, searching for a new and believable lie. your leg still shaking, he took your chin in his hand, forcing your eyes on him. his strong grip made you wince in discomfort, fear setting in as his face contorted into anger even more by now.

“your body isn’t fixated on it. you can change. but you don’t want to.”

“it’s not-”

“it is true! it is, goddamn!..” crows screeched as they flew up from the ground, high in the colorful sky as suo's voice ringed louder this time.

the sudden change made you flinch, now averting his gaze even if for yourself to make it less awkward.

“why can’t you try and rely on me?” the question shocked you to the core, how could he even- “let it be me what you’re fixated on.. be addicted to me..” the more he said, the more quiet he became at the end, you could almost see his usual put together behavior and expression crumbling away into nothing. instead, he too felt the atmosphere between the two of you change into a more deep and sensual one.

taken aback, you sat there in silence staring with a dumb expression, suo couldn't help but let a smile pass by his lips, now his arms snaking around your side, head resting on your soft shoulders. you let the sensation of his closeness consume you, relaxing yourself into his embrace.

"have faith in me.." with a final murmur suo found a warm place to rest his head in the crook of your neck.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈 ᵈᵒ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶜᵒᵖʸ, ᵐᵒᵈⁱᶠʸ ᵒʳ ᵘᵖˡᵒᵃᵈ ᵐʸ ʷᵒʳᵏ ᵃˢ ʸᵒᵘʳˢ!

#relin writes!! .ೃ࿔#wind breaker #suo hayato #suo hayato windbreaker #windbreaker #wind breaker x reader #windbreaker x reader #wind breaker x gn reader #wind breaker oneshot #wind breaker x y/n #wind breaker angst #wind breaker drabbles #hayato suo #suo x reader #suo hayato x reader #hayato suo x reader #wind breaker suo

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activesplooger · 1 month ago

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ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴍᴇ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ ꜰɪᴠᴇ | ᴠᴏx x ᴀꜱꜱɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ: (MDNI) PART 5 LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!!! sorry for the long wait, lowkey got burnt out for a bit and then overwhelmed and then uh life went downhill for a hot sec but IM BACK BABYY. I hope ygs like this one <3

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Life has improved now that Vox is trying to not be shitty! However, a work crisis occurs and Vox starts to spiral, but luckily you're there to help!

ᴄᴡ: company crisis!!!, bickering, fluffffyyyyyy :]

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 3,406

ᴘᴀʀᴛ 1 | ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2 | ᴘᴀʀᴛ 3 | ᴘᴀʀᴛ 4 | ᴘᴀʀᴛ 5

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀᴘᴏꜱᴛ!

Life has improved tremendously over the past week. With Vox working on himself instead of lashing out, the work environment is much better! Employees no longer sulk and cower in fear of upsetting their menacing boss; instead, they stand taller with a diligent work ethic. It not only boosted morale but also boosted profits! More work is getting done and there are fewer errors since the workers aren't so shaken up anymore.

As for Vox.... while he isn't as cruel as before, he's still kind of a dick. Everything shitty he did before is still there, just not as aggressive or hostile. He doesn't yell as much, though he still does. He doesn't harm employees anymore, but he sure as hell threatens to!

It's been a challenge, to say the least. He still lashes out from time to time but always covers it up with an "I'm sorry" and a VoxTech gift basket sent to their desk. That's a reoccurring pattern in Vox's behavior — vile one moment, apologizing the next. It isn't ideal, that's for sure, but it's certainly better than before. Nonetheless, progress is progress! You're proud(ish).

Today was an ordinary work day: getting work done while navigating around your boss's temper changes. You glance at the clock reading "8:00pm", you're at the end of your shift. The lights had gone out an hour ago, the automatic system shutting them off at 7:00 when most employees on your floor had already left. You're the last one in the office, the rest of the building is dark except for the light emanating from your computer. Before you go, you go to check on Vox before leaving in case he has any last-minute tasks for you. Part of you wanted to leave and sink into the couch of your crappy apartment, but alas, you just had to be a good assistant or whatever. You curse yourself for caring about your job. Maneuvering around the office, you find the hallway to Vox's office. You manage to navigate the circular door to his office, stumbling over your heels as you walk through it. Ah, finally, light.

You take a minute for your eyes to adjust to the light, a stark contrast to the pitch black you were previously wandering in. Your heels click on the black walkway to Vox's desk, the closer you get, the more you realize that he seems to be in distress. His jacket was tossed across his chair, his sleeves rolled up to his forearms as he focuses on the various monitors in front of him. He clicks frantically from screen to screen, seeming to be in search of something important. "C'mon cmon," he mutters, eyes wide and anxious as he continues his panicked search, "how the fuck did it get out?!"

"Vox?" you pipe up, startling Vox out of his work-trance state. He swivels on his chair to face you. "Oh! Jesus," he exclaims, hand clutching his chest, "you scared the shit out of me! How many times have I told you to fucking knock?!". "Sorry," you apologize, you had a bad habit of sneaking up on people incidentally. He sighs, resting an elbow on an armrest and resting his hand in his palm. His eyes close shut as teal claws massage his forehead in slow circles, "No no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled.". You shrug, "It's fine, really. I should've just knocked instead of being creepy. He chuckles softly at that, still kneading his forehead. "You okay?". "I'm fine. Go home, Y/N." he says dismissively. You exhale harshly, he clearly needs help, "No, I won't just 'go home'. Clearly, something's wrong here.". He looks up at you, lifting his head off his hand, "You can't therapize me out of this one.". "Haha, very funny," you remark sarcastically, "Seriously though, I'm your assistant. It's literally my job to help.".

The TV demon groans, standing up from his chair and beckoning you over with a curled teal claw. You walk over to him, looking intently as he points to a news article on the screen. The article was essentially about a company pirating unreleased VoxTech products through some leak. "There's really no reason to worry," you reassure, "it's one measly leak from one of our weaker ideas, we can just make sure nothing else-". "It's too late!" he points to report after report of unveiled products of our company that somehow got disclosed, "It's all from this shady company that's bootlegging my products in different rings. And I can't track them because he doesn't use our technology, they use some shitty electronics brand from the greed ring." Oh shit, this is actually more serious than you thought.

You sigh and set down your things, leaning over the desk to get a closer look at the disclosed information, "Alright, let's see what we can do here.". Vox furrows his eyebrows, leaning to the side to see what you're doing, "What? Who's we?". Whipping your head back, you look back at him with confusion, "You and I. I'm helping you.". "No, no, no," he chuckles, shaking his head with an incredulous demeanor, "'we' are not doing anything. I'm fine, I can do this on my own.". You roll your eyes, "Oh c'mon! I'm your assistant, It's literally my job to help you.". A groan escapes his mouth, begrudgingly accepting your help, "Fine, fine! Come on, then. Don't waste time.".

The TV demon briskly makes his way over to the exit. You scramble to grab your things and catch up to him. He leaves his office and leads you to the conference room. With a snap of his fingers, teal electricity bolts out to the lights and flickers them on. Show off. The light switch was literally inches away from him.

You set your stuff down in front of one of the chairs and sit in it. Vox takes the seat across from you and opens up his laptop. He flips it over to you, gesturing to it with a sarcastic expression, "Alright, work your magic, genius.". Exhaling sharply, you get to work, "Maybe we can track the people who leaked it through there website?". You type away on the computer, searching for any sign of how the leak got out or who disclosed it.

Vox rests his head in his palm, giving you an "impress me" look. A few minutes pass and Vox grows impatient, "See?! It's not working! Just let me do it, this clearly isn't getting us anywhere.". He reaches for the computer but you shift it away from him before he can snatch it. You glare at him, insulted that he didn't trust in your aptitude, "It's literally been like 2 minutes!". A defeated sigh escapes his lips, "Fine. Sorry.".

He looks down at the table with an almost bashful expression, too prideful to look you in the eye as he apologizes. You hand him back his laptop and pull out your own, "It's fine. Let's work together, alright? Just be patient and I'm sure we'll find a solution.". He nods and gets back to work, searching for any clues of how the information got out. A sigh escapes his lips, pushing his sleeves up higher to his biceps.

A couple hours passed and you had barely gotten anywhere. "Fuck, we might be here all night at this rate," he complains. "Yeah," you reply, "maybe...". Fuck, why did that excite you? This is so dumb it's literally just working overtime with your boss... but it means more to you. The last time you had "spent time" with Vox like this was pre-Alastor incident; all the post-incident "hang-outs" were just Vox berating you for some minute error. But that's over now, and you have a new start with him... Part of you hopes it'd be like it was before, however, you knew that probably wouldn't happen. Still, you're hopeful.

The TV demon's composure starts to decline, stress sending him into overdrive. His electricity starts to flare around his screen, teal jolts of electricity emanating from his head as his frustration increases. "Maybe we should take a break-" you suggest, not wanting Vox to blow a fuse. He slams his hands on the table, "A break?! During a crisis?! Are you fucking with me?". The lights start to flicker, your laptop screen going wonky as his anger rises. You have to be careful with how you handle this or a ring-wide power outage could happen.

"Vox," you say softly, "I think it'd be best if we take a break, if we just keep overworking our thoughts will clutter.". He scoffs and rolls his eyes, "What do you know about working?! You're just an assistant, I created my own goddamn empire!". That set you off, no longer caring about coddling his feelings. You rise up from your seat and march over to him pointing an accusatory finger, "What do I know?! Oh, I don't know, maybe just a few things from the years of experience I've had working here! Are you forgetting that I've been here since day one?! Nobody has been here longer than me, not even you!".

Vox looks stunned at your outburst, his wide eyes looking up at you with guilt. The tension grows between you, an awkward silence settling. Relaxing your arms to your sides, you take a deep breath and walk back over to your seat. Vox's eyes follow you as you sit back down, a shocked and curious expression on his face.

You wanted to apologize for being unprofessional, but you didn't. What you said was justified, you weren't gonna let him push you around anymore. Things aren't how they used to be, and you needed to make that clear. Vox's expression is one of guilt and pride, not wanting to say anything to hurt his dignity or upset you further. He get's back to work, occasionally glancing up from his laptop to gauge your emotions; you look frustrated and stressed.

The two of you didn't speak, the only sound being the clacking of keys on your computers and the occasional chair squeak. Vox, noticing the tension, tries to clear the awkward silence. He clears his throat, "...remember the last time we had to do this...?". You look up from your laptop, an annoyed expression on your face, "Do what? Fight?". "No, no," he explains softly, "I meant work overtime together...". "Oh," you blink in surprise, you can't believe he'd remember something like that, "that was a while ago, I'm surprised you remember.". The TV demon laughs quietly, his tone reminiscent and tender, "How could I forget? We were two hours into work and you had already fallen asleep, I ended up having to do it all myself.". He remembered that..? You chuckle softly, a playful smile stretching across your face, "Yeah, not this time though.". Vox rolls his eyes lightheartedly, "Yeah, right.".

A few hours pass by of hard work, it's now around 2 in the morning. The only sounds for the past hour have been brief updates on new information and the ticking of the clock on the wall. You ended up finding something promising, a well known hell-born hacker that could help find the person who leaked the products, "Hey, Vox! I think I found something!". No response. "Vox?". you peak over your computer and see Vox passed out on his laptop keyboard. Chuckling softly, you mutter to yourself, "Hmph, ironic.".

You do some more research on the hacker and hire him, hoping that this will solve your problems. Grabbing your things, you stuff them in your bag and get ready to leave. As you're about to go, you catch a glimpse of Vox, still sleeping on his laptop. With a sigh, you walk over and clear the clutter from around him, helping him pack his stuff as he peacefully rests. "Why am I doing this..?" you mutter to yourself. Carefully, you remove the laptop from under him and replace it with a pillow. Once he seemed as comfortable as one can get for sleeping in an office, you turn off the lights and leave.

You drive home to your little apartment in the entertainment district, just down the street from the Vee Tower. Fumbling with your keys, you walk in and trudge into the bathroom. Feeling absolutely exhausted, you do a short version of your nightly routine and b-line it to your bedroom. You kick off your heels and slip into some pajamas, the soft soothing fabric embracing you like a hug. The lights flick off, darkness enveloping your room as you sink into the warmth of your bed sheets.

Just as you're about to fall asleep, your mind starts playing the "keep me awake" reel. Your thoughts start to drift, randomly remembering embarrassing moments from years back and deadlines that stress you out. "God damn it, why am I like this," you mutter.

You manage to get a few hours of sleep before waking up in the middle of the night with an urge to complete some projects that weren't due for a month. Springing up out of bed, you put on your uniform and get ready for work. 'Gotta check to see if the hacker did his job... then I'll finish making appointments for Vox... and then..." you think to yourself, brewing a cup of coffee and hastily pouring it into a to-go cup.

As you try to open the door to work, it's locked. Of course, it's locked. What other psycho comes to work at 3am?! "Ugh!" you groan. Luckily, you made enough noise to alert one of Valentino's workers. The sultry demon clad in lingerie opens the door, an impish smile etched across her picture-esque features as she ushers you inside. "Ah, you must be my co-star!" she takes your hand and shakes it softly, bending over to meet eye-to-eye with you. You then quickly ushered onto some type of library set. "I think you have me mistaken-" you squeak, your face beet red from the mix-up. Did she really think you're a pornstar? Part of you was flattered, the other part completely flustered over the interaction. Dang, a simple handshake and you're jittery?! 'I need to get laid,' you think to yourself.

Valentino walks over, "VANESSA! What is taking so lo-". The moth demon's eyes fall on you, his expression neutralizing, "Sweetheart what are you doing on my set?". "S-sorry Val! I came into work early and then uh your worker thought I was an actor-". "You know," He circles around you, checking you out as he undresses you with his eyes. A chill went down your spine, ugh, creepy. "Our other star is running quite late," He chuckles and leans in, his voice dropping to a buttery whisper, "Wanna be a star~?". "I'm good!" you squeak, backing away for as much personal space as possible. The moth demon's eyes stay fixed on you, "Are you sure? There's a hot market for sexy little tech nerds right now~ And I'd looove to get some-". "N-nope!" you interrupt, trying to ignore the hotness of your face, "seeyouaroundtheoffiebye!". You dart out of the room, using your bag to cover the bright red hue of your face. "The offer always stands, baby!" he calls out.

'Ohmygodohmygodohmygod-'. You wish you could say that was the first time Valentinos tried to convince you to do porn. And every time, you stammered out a decline and left before he tried to manipulate you with his smoke.

Vox blinks awake, taking in the familiar surroundings of the conference room, "Fuck, did I fall asleep here...?". The aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills his nostrils, the mere scent perking him up. Lifting his head up, he sees you, holding out a coffee to him, "Good morning.". "Morning..." he mutters, grabbing the coffee cup and taking a swig of it, "Why are you here so early.". "Couldn't sleep," you reply vaguely, tidying up the room as you speak. Suddenly, the events of last night's crisis settle back into his mind, immediately flipping open his laptop and frantically scrolling, "W-What? Where's the leaked articles I don't-".

"Oh! The little hacker I hired took care of it," you smile softly as you explain, "I was wondering when they'd pull through!". Vox stares at you with wide eyes, almost like he admires you in some way, "You fixed it? The thing that I was trying to do for hours, all by yourself?". You nod, "Mhm, pretty simple actually I just did some research and hired this infamous programmer that could track and take down the leaks.". A giddy smile stretches across his screen, a bark of laughter escaping him, "Thank God! You have no idea how much that was stressing me out!". Overcome by relief and happiness, he strides over and hugs you, lifting you in the air as he embraces you tightly.

The action takes you off guard, surprised at his sudden display of affection. Your face burns red for the second time today, what's with all the affection?! Maybe you just looked extra hot or something.

His eyes shoot open in embarrassment as he realizes what he just did, quickly setting you down quickly on the floor. He clears his throat, trying to find a subject to ease the tension. "Uh," you stammer for a moment, looking for anything that could ease the tension. Just then, you remember there's a small bottle of champagne stored in the mini-fridge. You grab the bottle and wave it with an awkward smile, "Should we celebrate?". "Oh! Yes," he exclaims, letting out a sigh of relief. "That's a much more appropriate way to celebrate..." he mutters under his breath.

You pop open the champagne and pour a generous amount in two flute glasses. Vox grabs the glass and takes a sip, "So, anything interesting happened while I was asleep?". You shrug, "Aside from seeing you sleep like a baby? Not much.". "You were watching me while I sleep? That's normal," he teases playfully. "But hey," he begins, "can't blame you for admiring a masterpiece.". Rolling your eyes, you take another sip, "Yeah, "masterpiece". That's a funny way to say drowsy mess.".

"Oh, right, because you're soo put together," he retorts sarcastically. You shrug, "Valentino seems to think so.". The TV demon tilts his head, "What do you mean?". "Valentino offered me a job today,". He lets out a bark of laughter at this, "Ohoh! You're flattered, I'm sure.". "Pft sure," you jokingly affirm, "it's every sinner's dream to work for Valentino.".

An alarm goes off on your phone. Setting down your champagne, you reach into your pocket and grab out your phone. The alarm displays the words: "CONFERENCE CALL 10 MINUTES" with a blaring siren. You snooze the alarm and look up at him, "You have a conference call in 10.". "Ah," he says flatly, his expression flattening as he sets down his drink. He unrolls his sleeves and slips his blazer back on, straightening it out with a firm tug, "I guess I have to take that.". Nodding goodbye, he sighs and exits the room. Part of you was kind of upset that he left. To your surprise, he was actually being friendly again. It's nice to have a friend at work, if you could even consider him a friend.

The following night, you get a full night's sleep for the first time in weeks, no longer bombarded with anxiety and an urge to get ahead in work. You walk into work, making your way over to your little office in the corner. Swinging the door open, you see a gift basket perched on your desk. 'Must be one of those tacky pre-made Vox-Tech ones' you think. However, the basket looked far different from the others. It's a brown woven basket adorned with a red bow. Upon closer inspection, you see various gifts that weren't in the usual package; A nice bottle of wine, some cheeses, and a card tucked into the ribbon. Grabbing the card, it reads,

"ꜰᴏʀ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄᴇ,

-v- ᴠᴏx

ᴘ.ꜱ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴠᴀʟ"

You chuckle as you read it, a smile involuntarily tugging at your lips. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Vox peaking at you from behind a wall. Once you make eye contact, he darts away through a security camera. "And he says I'm creepy?" you mutter to yourself.

AHHHHH IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S DONE!!!!! i hope ygs like it haha this sort of marks a turning point in their relationship. Not exactly romantic, but they're 100% getting along !!!!

TAG LIST:

@lovelyemily, @preppyfellaa, @diffidentphantom, @lil-glum, @leonotlara,

@matpatsstuff, @rapunzelbro, @n0tmentallystable, @thegrovesheart

@tommyjeffjeff, @user0715991108, @meowermeowing,

ʟᴍᴋ ɪꜰ ᴜ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴀᴅᴅᴇᴅ

74 notes · View notes

lagataprrr · 3 months ago

Text

Blame it on the Club's Playlist| Chapter 3 No Hands

S. Gojo x plus!size fem reader

Warnings: slight dry humping, heavy makeout session, Gojo being completely obsessed with reader, readers insecurities maybe getting the best of her AGAIN

Blame it on the Club's Playlist | Masterlist

Credits to @super-marvel-dc for the gojo divider!!! They have more on their profile🥹

a/n: I did not edit this so im sorry beforehand for any grammatical errors. I hope yall enjoy this one!!! I wanted to delve more into like how self conscious one can feel when it comes to intimacy and I think I did it a lot on personal experiences. I love yall and you are all so beautiful!!!!! also if you'd like to be added to the taglist please let me know <333333

Also!! Should I name readers two friends??? Give me suggestions in the comments!!

should I make an actual playlist for this series?

Enjoy reading <3

"Please do not forget that I expect your drafts of the introduction and methods section of your study, and please for the love of God. Write your own work." The professor lets out a breath. "I am so tired of having to send half of my class to the honor council because they can't write their own paper. Make smart choices." As soon as she turns around to leave, everyone starts packing their stuff.

You quickly type in your project to your reminder app on your laptop before closing it. Slinging your bag over your shoulder and stepping out of the classroom you're met with one of your friends.

"Well there's my favorite friend, ever." She says, a sly grin on her face and you furrow your eyebrows.

"What is it?"

"I was just wondering if you texted the hottie you so sneakily went and did." You shake your head with a laugh as you both walked out of the science building. The slight chilly air on campus making you cross your arms over your chest.

"No, I have not."

And somehow, because the universe felt like exposing you. Your text ringtone chimed, twice. Your friend raising an eyebrow at you, and another chime making it a third message.

"Uh huh. Has he texted you by chance?" You roll your eyes, and pull your phone out of your pocket. Hottie with the body sent 3 new messages. "That's an interesting contact name."

"It was how he saved himself." You say quickly unlocking your phone and moving it away from your friends prying eyes.

Hottie with the body

how was your statistics class?

wait are u taking that class with Professor ibrahimbegovic?

she's so mean

You are quick to type in your responses, your friend watching with a curious look.

You:

It was alright, gotta finish up my draft for my study lol

and yesss

im guessing you've taken her class

"So did he text first or did you?"

"He did, but it's just talking about classes." You say, locking your phone and glancing at her. "What's with that face?"

"He's into you, babe"

You look away and scowl. "Not this again."

"Y/N, you have got to stop thinking that no guys can show you genuine interest because of your looks." She says earnestly, linking her arms with yours. "You're gorgeous, smart, and know how to throw that ass back like a Goddess."

"Oh my god." You let out a laugh.

"It's true!" Both of you reach the cafe and the bell chimes, "Go ahead and get a table I'll order our drinks." You nod and find a table near the window. Setting down your stuff and unlocking your phone again, this time scrolling through social media. You could hear the bell of the door chime again but you payed it no mind.

Your phone chimed again and you opened the message.

Hottie with the body

you look cute

Your head immediately looks up and you're met with Satoru standing at the entrance, his dark haired friend standing next to him. He shoots you a smile and heads your way. You don't miss the way your heart skips a beat as he makes his way towards.

"Hi." You greet, feeling your nerves pick up.

"Hey, fancy seeing you here."

"Oh yeah, totally not because everyone likes to come here after being grilled by hard professors." You joke and he chuckles.

"Oi, same thing as always?" His friend asks and Satoru nods. "Oh, you must be Y/N." His friend knowing your name catches you off guard.

He's talked about you? How cute!

More like embarrassing. Your mind battles with your thought.

You nervously laugh and nod. "I am. Yeah, t-that's me."

"I'm Suguru Geto, it's nice to meet you."

"Likewise." And he nods, heading to the line to the cash register.

"So, what's your study about?" Satoru questions as he takes the seat next to you. You catch a whiff of his cologne and fuck did he smell good. Your eyes went from his face and down to the rest of him, the black compression shirt he was wearing accentuated his form, and holy shit, were those abs?

He's way out of your league.

"Uh... well it's about the desensitization in peoples reactions to certain news headlines." Your eyes were still on him, going down to the grey sweatpants he wore, until you finally looked back up to his eyes. A smirk on his lips, clearly amused at your unashamed gaze.

"That's actually really interesting. For our class we had to do it about students anxiety levels between online and in person classes." You nod as he continued to explain, your eyes on his lips now.

Snap out of it you idiot, he's talking to you. Your mind practically yelled at you.

"Okay! One medium Y/F/D and a cheese danish." Your friend says, setting down your drink and treat as she takes the seat across from you. "Oh! Hello! You must be Satoru." She greets and you widened your eyes at her.

Satoru glances at you with his smirk again before nodding at her, introducing himself and making small talk.

Please swallow me Mother Earth.

"Oh! Y/N did you invite him to go out with us tomorrow?"

You tilted your head in confusion at this. "Tomorrow?" You did not have any plans tomorrow.

"Yeah, remember, we're supposed to go to the club again tomorrow." She says with a sly smirk. "We're trying to get this one to go out at least every Friday! She's a scholar but she needs to make memories."

"Sounds fun, you going?"

"No."

"Yes." Your friend and you say at the same time. You glare at her and she wiggles her eyebrows. "She is."

Satoru nods, but his eyes were on you the entire time. "I can meet you there, if you want." He's almost begging with the tone he used, his eyes on yours before glancing down at your lips, as you gnawed on that delicious lip he was literally aching to kiss again.

You felt heat creep up your neck, unsure. "She'd love it, in fact. Y/N since I'm picking up Y/F/N, you can ride with Gojo and meet us there!" She suggests, and Satoru nods in agreement.

Gojo? Who the hell is Gojo?

"I don't mind picking you up, if you're okay with it."

Gojo is his last name. Keep up.

"Sure." You respond almost unsure at your own response.

"Great. Then we'll see you tomorrow!"

And that is how you currently find yourself running around your apartment trying to make sure everything was perfect. You weren't expecting Satoru to come inside, but if it does happen, then at least everything would at least be decent. This time you were wearing a black romper dress, with matching black heels.

As you went back and forth in your apartment, your cat followed you, curious as to what could you possibly be doing. In the middle of your stress your phone chimed, and you let out a groan. Going to your room to grab it from the nightstand.

Satoru :):

I'm here.

but take your time, no rush at all

I know you're getting all prettied up

You felt heat creeping on your cheeks as you shake your head.

You:

I'm done, let me grab my ID and I'll come down

Satoru :):

sounds good, pretty

also

still can't believe you changed my contact name :(((((

You:

im sorryyyy

it was distracting

You made sure to lock your door and headed down, stepping onto the sidewalk looking for his blue BMW until you furrowed your brows. Looking down at your phone and starting to text him to ask if he was sure he put down the right address, until you heard a wolf whistle. Looking up to see a black Mercedes G-Wagon, the one that came out this year, at that. Satoru gets out of the car and gives you a boyish grin.

"Never fail to leave me breathless, pretty." You give him a wide smile, thanking him as your eyes raked over him. The white crewneck and black jeans doing wonders for him, along with his baby blue nike dunks. A pair of glasses sat on his nose and holy shit, did he smell good.

"You look good too." You reply, and he grins. Opening the passenger door for you and holding out his hand. You thank him as you take it and get in the car, unbeknownst to you Satoru glanced the light blue color that flashed from under your dress and he felt heat all over his neck. Closing the door and jogging back to the drivers side, he starts heading out in the direction of the club.

Your eyes glanced around the interior of the car, the smell of expensive leather making you wonder just how much does this cost. "How many cars do you own?" You ask absentmindedly, and then you slap a hand to your mouth. "Sorry, didn't mean it like that."

Satoru laughs, "It's okay. I don't mind." Giving you a reassuring smile. "I have two of them here, my other cars are in my house in Shibuya."

"Other cars?" You ask incredulously. "We are in different tax brackets I see." You joke and he lets out a laugh, a smile on your face at the sound.

You both continue talking throughout the ride until you reach the club valet, only to furrow your brows as it seems the security guards were waving people off. Satoru was quick to roll down your window.

"Oh, Mr. Gojo, unfortunately sir we have a couple of pipes that burst in the restrooms so we're closed until they get fixed."

"Okay, thanks man."

"Mr. Gojo?" You tease as he rolls up your window.

"He's just being nice."

"Mhmm." You say as you text your friends group chat.

The Three Muske(hoes)teers

You:

club is closed

Musketeer #1:

what??

so I got ready for NOTHING?

Musketeer #2:

bruh

im not even ready yet

but damn

Musketeer #1:

this was a sign for me to work on my backup assignments

Musketeer #2:

^same

we can go out next Friday

Musketeer #1:

Are u still with Gojo?

"Do you want to go eat something?" You glance up to see Satoru already looking through his phone.

"Are you hungry?"

He tilts his head at you with a smile. "I asked first."

"I am, are you?"

"I am." He nods and quickly puts in an address not the screen of the car. "I'll take you to this place that's nearby."

You nod and go back to your phone.

Musketeer #2:

she def is

she's probably not answering bc she's busy

sucking dick

Musketeer #1:

throat goat fr

Musketeer #2:

Hawk TUah

You:

ENOUGH

You lock your phone and glance out the window, heat on your cheeks and Satoru raises a brow at this. Though it's soon forgotten when you see the expensive restaurant that he's pulling into.

"Tapas Molecular Bar? Satoru..." You say as he puts the car in park. "This is expensive."

"I know." He says as he kills the engine, getting out of the car and heading to your side. Opening the door for you only for you to stay seated. His eyes meet yours and he gives you a smile. "I'm inviting."

"No, that's too much. I mean we barely know each other, and I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of this-"

"Y/N, I don't think that of you. I just want to spoil you with some good food. I would've preferred this to be a date, but, I don't think you want that. So I'm inviting you to eat."

You gulp nervously at his confession and maybe just maybe... "Do you want it to be a date?"

"I'd love it if it was. But I respect your wishes."

Carefully stepping out of the car and watching him close the door, you let out a shaky breath. "Okay... it's a friends date then. As friends!" You clarify and It was like an instant light switch, the way Satoru beamed at this. A wide smile showing his perfect pearly white teeth, eyes crinkling because of how wide he was smiling. "But! Just this one time... okay?"

"Great! Now stop over thinking, this is a friends date and I'm treating you to the best food." You laugh as he practically bounces as he walks, and you link your arm around his. Just to make sure he doesn't actually float away with the way he was acting.

The double doors were opened and the restaurant could not look any fancier, it made you feel so out of place.

Satoru was quick to let the host know he needs a table for two, and you were both escorted to a windows seat on the second level. With a beautiful look out to the city, making you grin. Opening the camera app and quickly snapping a picture of the view and sending it to your friends.

Satoru was so ecstatic as he pulled out the chair for you and pushed you in, rambling on and on about how you'll love the food.

You felt nervous, your hands felt sweaty and could almost feel your entire body jitter. You cleared your throat a couple of times, trying to calm down.

"Good evening, what can I get for you tonight?" The server sent you a polite smile, before her eyes landed on Satoru. Interest shining in her eyes as her whole demeanor changed into that as someone interested.

"I'd like a coke." Satoru answers as his eyes skim the menu.

"I'll just have a water."

"Great, I'll be right back with your water." The servers eyes never once lifted off the white haired man sitting in front of you.

As soon as your gaze landed on the prices of the menu you felt like throwing up on the spot.

All those zeroes are supposed to be there?! You mentally screamed.

"Stop thinking so hard on the price, and find something you want to eat." Satoru says, a soft smile on his lips as his eyes meet your own.

It gave you the chance to really study his eyes, the striking blue that genuinely exuded the gentle calmness of a lake. The rest of his features complemented him so well, from his pretty pink lips to the sharp jawline. His hair that stuck out makes him look so handsome, it made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

"It's thirteen courses?"

"Yup, and they're all so good."

"I think I read this menu and gained at least ten pounds." You joke, but Satoru didn't laugh.

"That's not true." He pouts, and tilts his head at you. "You seem to make a lot of comments about yourself negatively."

"It's a coping mechanism."

That's what you've told yourself your whole life.

"Stop that." You furrow your brows. "You're beautiful, no need for all of that."

As you were about to respond a glass of water was placed in front of you. Satoru sent you a wink and turned to the server, "We'll have the set menu with the five premium wine flight."

You read the menu to see what he was ordering and you choke on your spit. "Satoru-" He's ripping the menu from your hands and handing it to the server, shooing her away.

"Get ready to try the best food ever."

♡

Three and a half hours later you're sat in Satoru's car in a fit of giggles at one of his antics. The wine in your system making you feel more comfortable in your skin, as he drove you home.

"So, this friend date, how would you rate it?"

You thought for a second, raising a brow. "I'd say a 9/10."

Satoru dramatically gasps, as he parks in front of your apartment complex. "What took away that one point?"

"That's for me to know." You teased, unbuckling your seatbelt. You glanced at the apartment complex and back at Satoru. Chewing on your lower lip, and inhaling softly. "Thank you for tonight, Satoru. I had a lot of fun."

"So I take it, you enjoyed the friends date?"

You nodded with a smile, opening the car door and stepping out. "Do you..." You trailed off, a nervous tingle running up your spine as you glance back at the entrance of the complex to avoid his eyes. And that ridiculous boyish grin. "Maybe want to come in?"

He has a little pep in his step as he follows you up the complex and to your apartment. Praying to God that you left it as decent as possible. As soon as your front door opens your met with your cats excited meows as a greeting.

"Oh, who's this?" Satoru asks, bednign down to run his fingers over his soft fur.

"This is Luxio."

"Luxio? Like Pokemon Luxio?" He asks as he glanced up at you with a raised brow in curiosity. Your entire face heats up in embarrassment as you cringe, but nod nonetheless. "That's the most perfect name for him."

Your cat meows at this, purring loudly as he leans onto Satoru's hand, almost like agreeing with his statement.

"Well, anyways, welcome to my home." Your cat glances up, sort of narrowing his eyes at you and meows. "Oh, I'm sorry, welcome to mine and Luxio's home."

"Thank you for welcoming me." Satoru responds, scratching Luxio behind his ear.

Your phone chimes and you unlock it to see the dozens of messages from your friends.

The Three Muske(hoes)teers

Musketeer #1:

Im so mad the club is closed.

I wanted to shake some ass

Musketeer #2:

they posted their playlist! ive been listening to it while doing hw

lmao

https.clubinfinity.com/playlist

Musketeer #1:

LIFESAVER

"Oh hey! One of my friends just sent me the link to the playlist they were going to play tonight in the club." You say as you head over to the small stereo set next to the tv in your living room, turning it on and connecting your phone. "Do you want to drink something?"

"What you got?" Satoru still engrossed with your cat.

"Pretty sure there's a tequila bottle under my sink."

After fighting with your bluetooth connection for around four minutes, the stereo finally pinged and the robotic voice of 'the bluetooth device has been connected' you mentally cheered. Pressing play on the song that began to blast through the speakers.

Listen to this track, bitch

"Finally!" And Satoru laughs behind you, already heading your way with two shot cups he found next to the tequila bottle. Handing you one and pouring your shot along with his.

"Pretty sure me and Suguru got drunk for the first time with this song." He says and you giggle, putting down your phone.

He clinks his glass with yours, "cheers." Both of you throwing your heads back as you swallowed the burning liquor.

Girl the way you're movin', got me in a trance DJ turn me up, ladies, this yo' jam (come on) I'ma sip Moscato and you 'gon lose them pants

Luxio took his place in his cat tower near the window of the living room as you and Satoru poured another shot, the tequila building up on the wine both of you drank earlier and the room feeling hot.

Then I'ma throw this money while you do it with no hands (leggo) Girl, drop it to the floor I love the way yo' booty go All I wanna do is sit back and watch you move And I'll proceed to throw this cash (Flocka, Waka Flocka, Waka Flocka)

With no shame, thanks to the liquor, you kick off your heels and throw your hands over Satoru's neck, dancing as you both laugh.

All that ass in yo' jeans Can Wale beat? Can Roscoe skeet? Long hair, she don't care

His hands finding comfort on your hips again as you moved, His gaze focused on you and only you. You grin at him before turning around, pressing against him.

When she walk she get stares Brown skin or a yellow-bone DJ, this my favorite song So I'ma make it thunderstorm Bud, want it Flocka, yeah Blow it, fuck it, I don't care

Your ass grinded against him, the alcohol burning through your blood and this time Satoru wasted no time to grind against you too. His jeans felt tight on his crotch in no time, feeling his cock harden at the sensual movements of yours that were driving him insane.

I'm tryna hit the hotel with two girls that swallow me Take this dick, wanna swallow, Pink Moscato got her freaky Ayy, you got me in a trance, please take off yo' pants Pussy pop on a handstand, you got me sweatin' Please pass me a fan, damn (Flocka, Waka Flocka, Waka Flocka)

And just like the song, Satoru definitely needed a fan. His entire body was heating up, and fuck did you look so good dancing on him again. And once again did you have him reeling behind you, when you suddenly bent down, hands on your knees and the view of you back so sensual bent made him groan.

Girl the way you're movin', got me in a trance DJ turn me up, ladies, this yo' jam (come on) I'ma sip Moscato and you 'gon lose them pants Then I'ma throw this money while you do it with no hands (leggo) Girl, drop it to the floor I love the way yo' booty go All I wanna do is sit back and watch you move (ayy, ayy) And I'll proceed to throw this cash (Wale, uh)

His grip tightened on your hips, your ass moving in circles against his hard on. And fuck, that sensual look you sent him as you looked over your shoulder made him bite his lip. You sent him a flirty wink as you leaned back up hands now over his on your hips and swiveled them, pushing them with a precise pressure over his cock.

She said, "Look ma, no hands" She said, "Look ma, no hands" And, no darling, I don't dance And I'm with Roscoe, I'm with Waka I think I deserve a chance

"You're driving me insane." Satoru says in your ear, lips grazing the tip of your ear making a shiver run down your spine. Your panties were soaked, sticking on you and you're sure your juices were only seconds away from trailing down your thighs. His lips pressed soft kisses over your earlobe, slowly training down on your jaw and reaching the corner of your mouth. "You've been driving me insane since I met you." He confesses, pressing a particular almost feather light kiss near your lips.

You turn in his arms, once again your arms around his neck. Feeling his cock press against you. "Show me." You swear it was the alcohol. There's no way you just said that to this hot man standing in front of you.

You mentally ignore the loud and mean voice in your head, yelling at you about your physique and how you shouldn't.

"You sure? I don't want to scare you away." He whispers his blue eyes making your stomach churn in nerves.

"Show me, I..." You trailed off, bracing yourself in disbelief at your words. "I trust you."

Satoru wasted no time in pressing his lips against yours, his hands coming up to cup your face tilting your head up to be able to kiss you better. You let out a soft moan into his mouth, his tongue tracing all over your tongue.

"Fuck." He moaned, pressing hard kisses on your lips, bending his knees and now moving his hands to the back of your thighs.

"Satoru- wait!" He's lifting you up in no time, making you panic and wrap your legs around him tightly. Now his hands holding you under your ass, "Satoru I'm heavy, don't please."

"Shut up and tell me where your room is, baby." His lips sucking on the spot right below your ear, making you gasp.

"F-First door to the left." His legs move automatically, almost kicking your door down and closing it behind the both of you. His sucking and nibbling on the skin of your neck as he slowly lays you down, one arm still gripping your thigh to be pressed to his side while his other arm supported him from fully laying his weight on you. Satoru pulls away to look at you, and you looked so beautiful like this. Under him, a little breathless and lips starting to swell from kissing him so fervently. He could also notice how you slowly but sure started shrinking away from his gaze, and Satoru would not allow this. Not this time.

"You're so fucking stunning." He says, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. Your hands are fisting his shirt, letting out a whine into his mouth as he slowly ground his hips against your core. Your brows pinched up at the feeling, eyes looking into Satoru as you let you a gasp of pleasure. "So fucking beautiful," He presses kisses down your jaw, reaching all the way to your collarbone, sucking a bruise into your soft skin. Satoru slowly leaned back, leaning on his legs as he looked at you with lust filled eyes. His fingers ran over the romper you're wearing and reached to the neatly tied bow on the back of your neck that held the material on you. "Can I take this off, baby?"

Your eyes shown a glint of uncertainty, and Satoru was quick to cup your face and lean his forehead on yours. "Don't-" He was quick to whisper to you. "You're so beautiful, I want this. But do you?"

You let out a shaky breath, fiddling with a button of his shirt nervously. "I want this, but I just- I'm not really umm... confident without something covering me?" The alcohol was making you spill all the details. "Maybe not tonight?" Satoru not wanting you to feel uncomfortable he nods, placing a soft kiss on your forehead and moving off of you. Seeing his fallen look on his features made you feel so guilty, and you immediately felt so uncomfortable in your own skin.

"I think you should go."

Taglist: @bankaixx @shiftinghoe @uniquecutie-puffs @thewomans-stuff @plathsotherib @lanaismotherrrrrrr @fangirllookingforlife I love yall and thank you for reading <3

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scarawiki · 3 months ago

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idk how this app works help

scaramouche x gn!reader , idk the word count 😬

first one shot ever prbly ooc scara i'm not sure how to write him very well :( most of it is rly self indulgent for comfort im going thru it i fear lawl. not beta read either i almost never write pls be nice 🤕🙏🙏 excuse any grammar or spelling errors

cw: mentions of poor eating habits due to depression & anxiety , mental health stuff , yada yada nothing super explicit

divider creds: @rookthornesartistry

You laid still in your bed that you shared with your partner Scaramouche, while he was out and about finding ingredients for dinner.

Since he left, you were once again alone with your thoughts. Constantly ruminating on the past and picking apart everything. Your mind had kept screaming at you, and you couldn't calm it regardless of what you tried. You were left feeling even more hopeless than before.

Scaramouche had picked up on your "odd" behaviors lately, but you simply brushed it off and just told him,

"I'm probably coming down with something. The weather is changing, don't worry about it too much."

You didn't want to burden him with your silly problems, right? Knowing his past, you didn't want to add more to the mix. You were sure you could deal with it on your own.

Following that afternoon, you sobbed. You were so dizzy and your head was pounding, wishing the world had swallowed you whole already. You felt that Scaramouche deserved someone better than your pathetic self. You didn't understand why you couldn't just feel happy. Why was it so hard? Why can't you get out of bed? Why can't you wake up in the mornings?

You heard the front door opening, and you quickly wiped away your remaining tears that rolled down your face, and tried to get comfortable again. Your whole body ached and you just wanted it all to end.

"(Y/N)? I'm home. I managed to find a few things for later tonight. I had to bargain a lot though, food is getting expensive these days."

Scaramouche called out from the living room, setting down everything on the counter. After no answer, he became curious and knocked on the bedroom door.

"Hey? Don't tell me you're still asleep, it's almost 6 PM."

He let out a small sigh after more silence followed, and then opened the door. He saw you were burrowed under the blankets, and came to sit down on the edge of the bed. He pulled the covers back to reveal your tear-stained face, and a wave of concern came over him.

Scaramouche was never particularly good at comforting others, or feelings in general. He was never shown gentleness and compassion in his 500 years of living, before he met you.

"Who did it?"

Scaramouche asked, immediately jumping to the conclusion that someone had caused you harm to hurt this badly.

"No one," you managed to whisper out. "It's really nothing. Don't waste your time on me."

He was slightly taken aback by your dismissive behavior, but decided to pry further. Scaramouche wouldn't know how to deal with himself if anything ever happened to you.

"Okay... well, you haven't been eating, and last time I checked, you aren't a puppet. You've been sleeping in until dinner time for the past few days. Out with it."

He sounded demanding, but soon mentally scolded himself for his tone with you when he saw the vulnerability in your expression.

"I just don't know what to do anymore... I feel so scared and exhausted all the time, I can hardly wake up in the mornings, and food doesn't bring me joy anymore. I can't even remember the last time I felt okay. I didn't want to bother you because I didn't think it was that bad, to be honest. I'm sorry for keeping it from you, Scaramouche. I swear it has nothing to do with you."

Your vision blurred as you spoke, and you could feel your throat closing up. You didn't know how much more you could handle of this constant misery.

Scaramouche stayed silent for a few moments, taking in everything you had told him. You had always seemed so bubbly and excited around him, and when he saw you completely falling apart in front of him for the first time, he felt confused.

"...How long has this been really going on?"

He inquired, and his eyes had a softer look in them.

"A few years, it comes and goes but it doesn't seem like it'll ever get better. I'm tired of suffering, Scaramouche. I want to enjoy life again and look forward to the future. Instead, I dread the next days to come."

You responded, avoiding eye contact and fidgeted with your hands. When Scaramouche took notice of this, he gently grabbed your hands and set them in his lap.

"I'll be blunt, I'm still figuring how these whole "emotions" work. But, I do see that you aren't yourself right now. Yes, you can be a little irritating at times, but I wouldn't be with you if I didn't... love you."

Scaramouche felt hesitant to say those last words, but at the same time it felt right. He then continues,

"It would be pointless to be in a relationship with someone if you weren't upfront with them, but I can see how you might have felt like a bother. I promise that you will never be a burden to me, and I hope you know that I would rather die than ever lay a finger on you, or hurt you any other way. You're one of the first few people to show me how to love and broke through my tough exterior. You never left me during my hard times, and I'm sure as hell not leaving you."

Scaramouche took a deep breath, and looked down at his lap to give your hands a slight squeeze.

"I will do everything in my power to help you feel better. I want to see to see you happy. I want to see that smile on your face again. But, you have to work with me, alright?"

He looks back up and lifts one of his hands to gently grab your chin to face him.

You reluctantly look into his eyes, and slowly nod.

"Okay, I'll try... Thank you."

You replied slowly, drained of any remaining energy you had left. Scaramouche leaned down to remove some of your hair out of the way, and placed a delicate kiss on your forehead. He came back up and caressed your cheek, and sighed softly.

"I'm not letting you suffer alone. Ever."

#scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact #self insert #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n #wanderer x you #wanderer x y/n

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lomltrentarnold · 1 year ago

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strawberry lipgloss — jude bellingham ₊˚ෆ

ও hana’s notes : holiday jude blurb cause im feral after that photo dump 🫶 so sorry for any grammatical errors </3

MAIN MASTERLIST

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

“You ready, love?”

Jude’s voice echoed the room, you could hear his footsteps nearing closer to the bathroom from where you stand.

“5 more minutes!” you yelled out, struggling to put on your mascara.

You could hear his laugh booming at your answer, “You said that 10 minutes ago, babe.”

You ignored his remark as you were to focused on your task in hand. Not noticing the familiar figure of your boyfriend standing in the entryway of the door. His soft eyes stuck on you, completely in awe. He thinks you’re the prettiest. With your hair perfectly framing your face, your eyes shining under the bathroom light and your lips looking oh so kissable. He wonders what flavour lip balm you’re wearing.

Jude walked over to you, looming behind your frame as he kept his eyes on your reflection at the mirror in front of you. You jumped a bit after feeling Jude’s cold hands resting on your hip, your shirt riding up a bit at your movement that made him squeeze your sides when your skin touched.

“Ya scared me.” you laughed, relaxing in his hold. You pick up your strawberry lip balm, putting it on, before clapping your hands together excitedly. “I’m ready!”you turned your body around, smiling up at him.

Jude could feel himself melting when he saw your sweet smile. What did he do to deserve you?

“What did I do to deserve you?” Jude slipped out, the words replaying inside his mind and he just can’t hold it back.

You laughed, and Jude’s heart squeeze at the sound. “So sappy.” you softly hit his chest, kissing his cheek.

Jude was so enamoured by you, he didn’t even feel the shining lip stain that was now on his cheek. You giggled when you realised, moving to wipe it away. Your gaze involuntarily dropped down to his lips, as you planted a soft peck on them.

Before you could back away, Jude’s hand went behind your neck, tilting your head up to kiss you deeper. Your hands went to wrap around his waist.

You both broke apart, heavy breaths mingling with glazed eyes and love struck expressions, hands softly gripping the other for support.

A notification pinged from your phone making you glance at it, you read the text before looking at Jude, “We need to go, our friends are already there.” you breathed out, still trying to catch your breath from the make out session two seconds ago.

Jude shrugged his shoulders, hand at your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek, “5 more minutes.” he whispered, before crashing his lips with yours.

Now he knows what flavour your lip balm is.

reblog for a kiss <3

#i wanna smother him with kisses ☹️☹️☹️#baby boy <3333 #jude bellingham #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham x reader #football x you #football x reader #football x y/n #football imagine #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham fluff #hana writes!#pls dont ask why the picture is a lipgloss

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cloudbersoo · 1 year ago

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would you mind?｜zhang hao

synopsis: how to get over a guy you didn’t even date in ten easy steps with the help of zhang hao.

tags: zhang hao x gn!reader, acquaintances to lovers, university au, fluff, slight angst, y/n likes someone else at the beginning, y/n is very drunk, making out when drunk, shy!hao, bestie!matthew has no filter, roommate!taerae, hanbin keeps laughing, what did jiwoong do though? y/n overthinks a little sometimes, mentions of sex and implied sex but no explicit smut! (im a minor and can’t write smut for the life of me)

word count: 6k (how did this get so long?)

a/n: this is my first fic in like six years and the first in english altogether! idk how to feel about this one but i thought to post it anyway. writing this honestly made me respect fanfic writers so much more, it really isn’t easy! this took me like five days to make. not sure how often i’ll be doing this but i enjoyed writing a lot. sorry for any grammar errors or such, i proofread this a couple of times, but my english isn’t perfect, so some mistakes might go past me. anyway, thanks and sorry! enjoy reading!

my playlist while writing: in bloom & new kidz on the block by zb1, cream soda & private party by exo, roller coaster & party o’clock by nmixx !!

i. drink your feelings away

“finally you’re here” matthew mumbled in his slightly drunken stage, leaning onto a wall as you closed the door behind you. you could hear the music and people’s chatter coming from the living room. the smell of alcohol was also very strong, especially on your friend. you wished you could just turn back and go home. you were way too miserable to party right now but the sweet smile matthew was giving you was making you stay. you couldn’t possibly disappoint your best friend on his special day.

“yeah, sorry for being late” you finally answered to the birthday boy as you handed out your gift with a forced smile. “happy birthday matt.”

he took the bottle of wine and chuckled. “thank you y/n” he said, looking at the bottle of his favourite. “for this and for coming tonight” he continued as he raised his gaze to you apologetically.

“of course” you uttered, trying your best to convince your friend you wanted to be here, as if you didn’t just think about leaving two seconds ago. your convincing didn’t seem to be working as matthew sighed. matthew put down the bottle and walked in front of you. he examined your face for a while before he embraced you in a hug. “he didn’t deserve you anyway” he whispered close to your ear.

right.

jaemin.

the guy who broke your heart just a few days ago. he didn’t mean to, you suppose. he just didn’t realise you were totally in love with him when he introduced you to his partner of three years. how stupid could you be?

you held your tiers in at the mention of him. not today. you can cry about it later.

you embraced your friend for a while as you collected yourself. “you know what matt?” You finally spoke as you made eye contact with him. matthew hummed, looking at you with anticipation.

“i’m going to have fun tonight.”

ii. embarrass yourself

about five bottles of soju and a couple beers later you were completely out of it. you were somewhere in matthew’s apartment, kitchen or living room, you were not entirely sure. laying on the cold floor with zero thoughts of your shattered heart. you felt at peace. your peace, however, didn’t last long as it was eventually broken by a familiar voice calling your name.

“y/n? you okay down there?” the voice asked with amusement. you opened your eyes and were met with hanbin’s gaze from above you. he must have found your state hilarious as he bursted out laughing.

you got up from the floor with difficulty and flopped next to him on the couch. “never been better” you mumbled to your friend with a relaxed smile. you started making yourself comfortable and leaned your head on hanbin’s shoulder. what you failed to notice in your drunken state was the other person sitting on the couch. the one you were currently cuddling up to.

“hao” your friend started. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen y/n so wasted” hanbin laughed with tears in his eyes.

what.

suddenly, you were too aware of your surroundings, like there was no alcohol in your system anymore. you quickly got up and saw that hanbin was not in fact the person you had leaned into. the person sitting next to you was hanbin’s good friend, zhang hao. the boy’s face flushed as he looked at your shocked face.

oh my god.

you were not that familiar with zhang hao. you knew he was good friends with hanbin and matthew. he was from the music department just like your roommate taerae, and you were pretty sure he played the violin. he was reserved and quiet, and definitely not the most fond of you (even though your friends have tried to convince you otherwise). a friend of a friend. that’s what he was. not someone who you could comfortably cuddle with. this is so embarrassing.

“i’m so sorry!” you quickly blurted out as you hid your face behind your palms. you could still hear hanbin’s laugh as you were thinking about your way out of the situation.

“it’s o-okay” zhang hao managed to stutter. you were in too deep thought to hear what the boy in front of you was saying. you searched for your other friend in the crowd. it’s time for me to leave. as you found matthew by the balcony with a girl, you turned back to the men on the couch. “i’m just gonna go!” you quickly said to prevent any more embarrassment and made your way to your best friend.

he saw you coming from afar and smirked at you. “you’ve definitely enjoyed yourself” matthew said delightfully. oh. he definitely saw everything.

“you saw nothing” you bit back and leaned onto your friend as the alcohol started to kick back in again. “i’m going home” you continued. could you even walk straight? no. but you could just call your roommate to meet you halfway.

“in this state? no you’re not” the boy slurred just as drunk as you were. he wrapped his arm around your shoulder in an attempt to keep you from leaving. you were glad your friend cared about your safety even when he was drunk. his company, however, was not enjoying the sight in front of her and you could tell you had interrupted something.

“i’ll call taerae to pick me up, don’t worry.” you assured your friend. “i’ll leave you two alone now.” you gave a smile to the girl and mouthed “sorry” as you left the two before matthew could protest any further.

iii. make a foolish choice

walking down four sets of stairs with your hands occupied by your phone was a challenge. you somehow made it though and were trying to contact your roommate. he was not answering. where is he? your apartment wasn’t that far from matthew’s but the darkness was creeping you out a little. you sent a quick text to taerae, saying you were coming home before you started your journey.

you had made it past a couple turns when you started feeling like someone was following you. you’re just being paranoid, that's all. but the feeling only grew stronger as you clearly heard footsteps behind you. you were already walking as fast as you could in your state. is this the end? “i’m gonna die-”

“y/n,” you quickly turned around to the familiar voice.

zhang hao.

“oh it’s just you” you said as you relaxed until it hit you. zhang hao. the reason why you had run away from the party in the first place. your surprise finally showed on your face, which zhang hao found amusing.

"sorry if I scared you” he let out an airy laugh while awkwardly standing in front of you. for some reason you had never really looked at the boy. he was tall and his hair was still styled nicely even after a long day. he was wearing a light blue button up shirt with black jeans that seemed way out of your price range. there was something about the way he was looking at you under the glow of the streetlights. he was looking at you with stars in his eyes, like there was no one else but the two of you in the world. the sight of him almost made your heart skip a beat. he had a few moles on his face, one right under his eye and another on his cheek that you wish you could kiss right now. has he always been this pretty?

no. why is he here?

he tried to give you a reassuring smile as he took a step closer. “you shouldn’t walk alone at this hour, it’s not safe for you.” he continued like he had just read your mind.

“so you think I'm safe with you?” you asked, slightly teasing. it was definitely the alcohol speaking.

the boy’s eyes widened in shock and he opened his mouth to say something but failed. “well- I mean” zhang hao finally responded with panic, not quite sure what he was supposed to say. you couldn’t hold your giggles which seemed to ease his nerves. his figure seemed to relax as he walked past you. “my apartment isn’t that far from yours, so we can just walk together. it’s safer for both of us.” zhang hao finished.

lies. you’ve once picked hanbin up from his apartment and it's nowhere near yours. however, zhang hao didn’t need to know that you knew. you wouldn’t mind walking home with him even if the two of you weren’t that close, because he was right – this was safer (not because he suddenly made you think of things you haven't before).

so, the two of you continued walking towards your place. zhang hao didn’t say much as you walked, only telling you to be more careful as you almost stumbled to the ground. he also decided to hold you up from your waist from that point on – which you definitely didn’t mind. he didn’t seem to mind either as there was no signs of annoyance that you would’ve except from zhang hao in this situation.

“we’re here” he said as the two of you stood in front of your apartment building. you really didn’t want him to go. you really didn’t want to be alone at all. because you knew the moment you were alone again you’d break down again and cry about the guy who broke your heart. just for this one night, you wished not to cry yourself to sleep. maybe it was foolish of you to ask zhang hao of all people to comfort you, but right now you couldn’t think of anything else.

“would you like to come in?”

“do you need help to get to your door?”

you both had talked at the same time. you broke eye contact as the two of you chuckled. so he didn’t want to leave yet either? as it got quiet again you decided to look at the boy again. zhang hao seemed hesitant as he studied your face. then he smiled at you as he said “if that’s what you need.”

iv. get cockbocked by a roommate

some might find the silence between you and zhang hao awkward, but you found it soothing. he was drinking the water you had given him as you sat on the kitchen counter. he looked even more handsome up close. the way he was leaning onto the counter and the way he was looking at you. oh, how much you wished to make him yours tonight. would he mind?

your mind stopped wandering as the boy put down his glass on the sink. “i should probably go and let you sleep” he said quietly as he stood in front of you. he was incredibly close to you, his hand on your knee, his nose almost touching yours – like he didn’t want to leave. you couldn’t help but lower your gaze to his lips. they were pink and puffy, slightly wet like they were waiting to be kissed. you looked back to zhang hao’s eyes but they didn’t meet yours. he was doing the same thing – staring at your lips.

maybe you were going to regret it. maybe this wasn’t right, kissing your friends’ friend. but you couldn’t possibly think about any of that as you leaned in.

his lips felt as soft as they looked. it took a moment for zhang hao to realise what was happening but eventually he kissed you back. his left hand landed on your cheek as his right hand went up your thigh. the kiss deepened as you put your hands around the boy's neck, pulling him closer to you. you don’t remember the last time you have been kissed like this. he was driving you insane and you wished he’d never stop.

“y/n?” you hear a voice say at the door.

taerae.

you and zhang hao froze before you rapidly let go of each other. sleepy taerae rubbed his eyes walking into the kitchen as you tried to calm your beating heart. so he didn’t answer because he was asleep. you took a look at zhang hao who’s blush was prominent even in the dark. “when did you get home?” your roommate asked as he yawned.

“zhang hao walked me, i was just giving him some water before he left.” you blurted out an excuse, which wasn’t inherently a lie – taerae didn’t need to know what happened after that. your sleepy roommate didn’t look suspicious and seemed to buy it. “he was actually just about to leave.” you took another look at zhang hao, trying to get him to say something.

“yeah, i’ll just get going then.” he said, bid taerae goodbye, and was out of the apartment in mere minutes.

fuck.

v. overthink your life choices

lunch used to be your favourite time of the day, mostly because you used to share it with jaemin all the time. matthew barely ever had time to eat lunch with you, which is how you got to know jaemin in the first place. the two of you clicked instantly and you thought there was something between you. how wrong you were. the past week you have been distancing yourself from jaemin and he hasn't been asking after you. you really meant nothing to him in the end. even now he’s just a few tables away loudly debating about something with his group of friends, completely unaware of the effect he has had on you.

taerae’s giggles seem to wake you from your slumber. you moved your gaze from jaemin to your roommate. he was laughing over a video hanbin had just shown him. “what is jiwoong doing?” he managed to say between giggles.

“speaking of the devil” hanbin said as he waved past your shoulder. jiwoong walked to your table with zhang hao next to him, which was odd as the two of you’ve had a similar relationship with the chinese boy up until a few days ago (unless jiwoong had also been making out with him recently). “what did i do?” jiwoong questioned his friends as he placed his lunch on the table.

“nothing, nothing. where’s matthew?” hanbin said as he hid his phone with a grin.

“he’s on a date” you said nonchalantly. everyone at the table suddenly turned their heads towards you. they had totally forgotten you were even there as you had spent most of your break staring at a certain someone. you should get your shit together.

“oh right, zhang hao! thanks for walking y/n home the other night.” taerae said as zhang hao sat next to hanbin. well shit. you hadn’t told anyone of what had happened with zhang hao after matthew’s party. you hadn’t even talked to zhang hao since then. you felt awful that you had tried to use him to forget about someone else, and then kicked him out as your roommate found the two of you. you weren’t sure how you were supposed to even bring it up to him when you were never alone with him anyway.

“you walked her home?” hanbin questioned as he turned his head to his left where zhang hao was sitting. the boy only gave his friend a small nod as he dug into his food. his aura seemed so different in the daylight. his hair wasn’t styled like at the party, it was a bit all over the place. the way he stuffed his mouth full of food made him look cute. his cheeks were slightly pink with blush. while observing the boy, you had completely missed the teasing smile on hanbin’s face.

how were you supposed to talk to him? thanks for walking me home and making out with me in my kitchen. does he even want to talk about it? the two of you had seen each other around campus a couple times since then and he hasn't tried to talk to you once. maybe all of it was just a spur of the moment thing for him that he now wished to forget about.

you sighed as you decided it was your time to leave for class. there was no way you were going to talk to zhang hao now anyway, not in front of all your friends. “my lecture is starting soon, i’ll go now.” you said as you stood up. taking your things with you and hearing people say their goodbyes, you were on your way.

“wait, are we just going to ignore the fact that matthew is on a date?” you could hear jiwoong ask behind you.

vi. get help

“so…” matthew said in a teasing tone as he sat across from you at the library.

“so, what?” you questioned, like you had no idea what your best friend was referring to. well, in your defence, you never knew with matthew, but you had a feeling this conversation topic started with a z and ended with hang hao. “you and hao?” he continued, just like you had anticipated, raising his eyebrows.

“what about me and zhang hao?” you continued, acting clueless in the hopes of him dropping the conversation.

“after what i saw at my birthday party and then hearing he walked you home, i hoped the two of you worked out the weird tension between you two and finally fucked” your friend blurted out in a very matthew way, like it was the most obvious conclusion to come to in the world.

“we did not!” you raised your voice a little too much as you tried to defend yourself. you got a few judging stares from the people around you who were trying to study. something you were supposed to do as well, instead of having this conversation about zhang hao. “we didn’t fuck…” you continued more quietly. there was no reason for you to lie to your best friend. not when you could use his help.

“but you were going to?” he gave you a knowing look.

“well yeah, but then taerae woke up and i panicked and i kinda kicked zhang hao out-” you started rambling. wait. “how did you know we almost fucked? did he talk to you? what did he say? does he totally hate me now?” you continued like you were going to lose your mind. and now matthew was laughing at you, trying his best to stay quiet.

“i haven’t talked to anyone, except hanbin, he’s just as convinced there’s something going on between you and hao as i am” your friend finally spoke. if only you knew what was going on between the two of you. you sighed and hit your head on the table. “what’s the problem y/n? you know, you could just text him and ask him" matthew said.

“i don’t have his number” you mumble in despair.

“what? how can you not have his number?” matthew asked, confused.

“why would i? was i supposed to ask for it when we were making out or something?” you said as you lifted your head from the table, looking at your friend who definitely didn’t need to hear any more details of that night.

matthew took his phone out of his pocket, and gave it to you after a moment. “here, take his number and text him”

vii. become friends

you were currently sitting down at a park you had agreed to meet with zhang hao. matthew was able to convince you it was better to sort things out with zhang hao sooner than later. but now that you were here, waiting for the guy, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. it was warm as summer was finally coming and you felt like you were sweating buckets. was it the weather or your nerves – you were not quite sure.

“hi, did you have to wait long?” you hear a familiar voice from your left and see zhang hao’s figure coming towards you. he waved at you while giving you a sweet smile. damn. he’s so pretty.

“oh no, not at all” you answered, trying to give the boy a smile to hide your nervousness.

“what did you want to talk about?” zhang hao said calmly as he sat down next to you. unlike the other night, now he had left much space between the two of you. he didn’t seem nervous at all, which made you feel uneasy. maybe this wasn’t as big of a deal for him as it was for you.

“at matt’s party, i’m sorry for being such a mess and dragging you into it” you decided to tell him. “i had a few too many drinks that night.” you took a look at zhang hao. he seemed surprised, maybe a little hurt as he tried to get comfortable on the bench. was that not the right thing to say? “i mean, i probably made you uncomfortable and then i rushed you out of my place when taerae woke up, it was super rude of me to-” you were starting to ramble.

“i wasn’t uncomfortable” he cut you off. he finally turned to look at you again “i wouldn’t have come in if i was.” there was the look again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. he was looking at you like he did under the streetlights, like you were the only person in the world that mattered. you wouldn’t mind getting lost in his eyes. “so don’t be too sorry, i enjoyed it as long as it lasted.” he gave you a shy smile.

oh.

this was the first time the boy had made you blush, usually it was the other way around. you broke eye contact to hide your shyness from him. “cool, cool” you started quite awkwardly. “we should probably be casual about all this, since we're friends and all…”

“we’re friends now? i’m cool with that” zhang hao replied with amusement.

“i mean, we’ve known each other long enough to call us that, i guess” you tried to reason, not realising your friend was only teasing you. as you turned your gaze back to him you saw him still smiling at you. this man will be the death of me. “well that’s that. sorry i can’t stay longer, i have places to be. bye zhang hao.” you said as you got up from the bench. you had nowhere to be, but you couldn’t possibly handle being in zhang hao’s presence any longer.

“bye friend!” he yelled after you still with a teasing tone.

viii. feel nothing

you and your new friend zhang hao have gotten along well since your talk at the park. nothing has changed that much, except now you greet each other at campus, engage in conversation together, and sometimes share memes with each other. you have tried to convince matthew that you and zhang hao are really just friends and nothing more. matthew just can’t help himself when he teases you with kissy noises every time you interact with zhang hao. he’s the only other person that knows about your little secret. even hanbin doesn’t know, because if he did — everyone would.

you were finally finished with your last class of the day, walking out of your department building. you felt at ease as everything in your life was finally going well. you were able to sort things out with zhang hao, you weren’t particularly struggling with any classes, and you were barely thinking about him, who shall not be named.

as if on cue, there he was standing a few meters away from you. jaemin. he wasn’t alone though, as he was having a conversation with someone. you couldn’t quite tell what the two were talking about, not that really even mattered to you. contrary to popular belief, your heart no longer ached at the sight of him. you continued your journey with no intent to interact with jaemin, at least not until you realised who exactly he was talking with. when you were close enough you could recognize the other man’s voice.

what was zhang hao doing with jaemin? the sight in front of you felt really odd, but you couldn’t possibly look away. zhang hao almost towered over jaemin, paying attention to what the latter was talking about. he was wearing glasses that complimented his face well. one of his sleeves was rolled up revealing his toned arm. he looked so mesmerising, you couldn't help but stare.

it didn’t take long for you to be caught staring as jaemin called out your name. “wow it’s been so long. how have you been?” he asked happily as you took a few steps closer to the two. zhang hao was surprised to see you, his gaze moving between you and jaemin. his face filled with worry made you think he must have heard about jaemin and you from someone (definitely not from hanbin). you gave zhang hao a reassuring smile as you greeted jaemin, who was ready to embrace you in a hug.

“i’ve been well” you sounded a little awkward as the two of you let go. an act that used to make your heart do backflips no longer felt like anything. “what were you two talking about? i didn’t know you even knew each other.” you asked out of curiosity as you stood next to zhang hao, who suddenly put his arm around your shoulder. you turned your head towards your friend, trying to understand what he was up to.

“we’ve shared a few classes here and there” zhang hao said as he turned his head to face you. he was so close to you again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. “you’re ready to go?” he continued. you could only show your confusion on your face as you didn’t trust your voice to say anything at the close proximity. “dinner? remember?” he gave you a wink.

what? you were completely lost. what was this man talking about?

“oooh, date night?” jaemin cooed in front of you. he took his headphones out of his back and put them over his ears. “i won't waste your time anymore then. y/n we should totally catch up sometime!” he didn’t wait for your response before he left.

you and zhang hao stayed close to each other in silence for a while. you wondered if he could hear the way your heart was beating for him. you tried to look for answers from his face but to no avail. finally, zhang hao moved and removed his hand off of you, what had felt like way too soon. “sorry” he said as he stood in front of you. “you must have felt awkward seeing him” he continued, scratching the back of his neck.

“did you do all that to get rid of him? i’m fine, i don’t like him like that anymore” you felt the need to clarify to him.

“oh” he said, blush breaking to his face and neck. “well, i was getting tired of him anyway” he excused and removed his gaze from you to hide his embarrassment. you thought he looked the cutest whenever he got shy or embarrassed.

your laugh seemed to peak his interest again, as he turned his gaze back on you. your blushing face, matching his own. a comfortable silence fell between you again. ”just friends huh?” you could hear matthew’s teasing voice in your head.

“y/n?” zhang hao eventually spoke. you hummed as a response, waiting him to carry on. “have you eaten yet?” the boy continued hesitantly.

“no, not yet” you answered truthfully, not quite sure where the conversation was going. zhang hao stayed quiet for a while. he was nervously shifting on his place, turning his face away from you once again. he was trying to find the right way to ask you.

“would you like to go out for dinner then?” he asked carefully.

“sure!” you answered enthusiastically. you were starving at this point and wouldn’t mind spending some time with friends as well. “who else is coming?”

“well, i thought it could be just us…” the boy responded, still not daring to look at you.

oh.

“oh! that works too. sure. yeah.” you replied, definitely not embarrassed that you didn’t get the hint right away. “does indian sound good to you? i’m craving butter chicken” you continued, trying to move the conversation onwards, while your heart kept beating hard against your chest.

“if that’s what you want, it’s good with me” zhang hao said and the two of you started your way out of campus, both a blushing mess.

ix. feel everything

you were not entirely sure what to think. had you just been on a date? zhang hao didn’t explicitly call it that, but it surely had felt like one. the dinner went smoothly, it didn’t feel awkward and the two of you were able to talk to each other comfortably. he constantly smiled at you and asked you questions about your life, putting the effort into getting to know you. he even insisted on paying for your meal in the end.

you got to know things about him as well, as zhang hao no longer felt shy talking to you. he’s an only child and very close with his mom. he chose to play the violin, because it’s much easier to carry around compared to a cello. him and jiwoong have gotten closer lately because jiwoong had asked him to help him with a song he has been working on. he also revealed that he was glad that the two of you have gotten closer, which made you question things even more.

you were walking to your apartment in silence, completely sober this time. zhang hao had insisted on walking you home again, “as a man should” he had said. the way his hand was accidentally brushing against yours every once in a while was giving you butterflies in your stomach. you were not entirely sure if the man next to you even realises how much of an effect he had on you. you weren’t walking that fast because you really didn’t want the night to end.

must to your dismay, you ended up in front of your apartment building. it felt like deja vu, standing in front of him again. you didn’t want zhang hao to leave, but you weren’t sure if it was appropriate to invite him in. you couldn't hide behind the confidence alcohol had given you last time. you didn't know what to say, so you settled on just staring at his face, completely mesmerised. he was doing the same, his gaze wandering on your face, like he was trying to remember each little detail of you.

“i should…” zhang hao started, now looking straight into your eyes. “i should probably go now” he continued, not at all convincing. he made no effort to move, which finally gave you the confidence to talk. it won’t hurt to ask, right?

“i could offer you a glass of water before you go” you said, tearing your gaze away, still slightly scared of what he might answer. “you know, taerae’s not home tonight…” you added. as you heard no answer from the boy, you hesitantly took a look at him. he was smiling at you again, the way he had been all dinner.

zhang hao took a step closer, raising his hand to hold your chin, making you hold eye contact with him. he lowered his gaze slowly to your lips, looking at you like you were someone to be desired. “you sure?” he finally spoke in a lower voice, still staring at your lips. you could only hum in response. and then he leaned in to kiss you.

his lips were soft, but he pushed them hard against yours. he tasted like cherries as you kissed him back. the kiss deepened quickly as his tongue pushed past your lips. his arms lowered to your hips, pulling you closer, as you put yours behind his neck, playing with his hair. you didn’t stop until you both were almost running out of air.

zhang hao let out an airy laugh. “i’ve wanted to do that for a while” he confessed, your arms still tangled around each other. he was looking at you with so much adoration.

“yeah? me too” you smiled, your cheeks slightly pink. you let go of the boy to open the door to your apartment building. he held onto your arm as the two of you walked towards the elevator. you turned to look at zhang hao, who’s cheeks were a shade of pink as well. he noticed you staring and gave you another sweet smile. the door finally opened, and he couldn’t even wait till you got to your apartment, as he stole another kiss from you as you entered the elevator.

“i honestly thought you didn’t like me at all” you admitted to him as you parted from the kiss.

“that’s what hanbin always told me” zhang hao answered, now with a pout on his lips. “i was just too shy to talk to you, you’re like the most gorgeous person i’ve ever laid my eyes on” he continued, no longer daring to look you in the eye. even he seemed a little surprised by his sudden confession.

oh.

you’ve received compliments before, but hearing one from zhang hao felt different. your cheeks heated up again, and you could feel your excitement all the way down on your stomach. you wanted him so badly, you could only wish he felt the same way. when the elevator stopped, you decided to quickly peck the boy's cheek before you dragged him to your apartment.

once the door to your apartment closed behind you, you were all over each other. his lips connected with yours as your arms roamed all over your bodies. you couldn’t get enough of him, wanting him even closer to you. you stumbled over to your bedroom, where you gave him one more kiss before backing away.

zhang hao looked at you with concern. “are you okay?” he asked while still holding you closely.

“yeah, i just- i want to make sure you want this as much i do” you answered, studying his face for any signs of regret or hesitation.

“i really like you y/n, and i want this more than you think” he admitted. he detached one of his hands from you to remove his glasses out of the way, putting them down to your nightstand. he lowered his hand on your cheek, cherishing it gently. “let me show you just how much you mean to me.”

so you let him, as you kissed him again.

x. fall in love

you were still out of breath as you cuddled up to zhang hao’s bare body. he wrapped his hand around you and squeezed you closer to him, twirling your hair with his fingers. you laid your head against his chest, drawing circles on his toned body, sighing with content. you felt zhang hao’s lips against your forehead, giving you a peck after peck. the act made you giggle, turning your gaze to him.

“what?” you asked.

“nothing, i’m just really happy” he answered, giving you one more kiss on your lips. he looked at you with so much love and warmth, which made you feel like you were dreaming. you couldn’t help but wonder what made you deserve to meet someone like zhang hao. no one has made you feel this good in such a long time, if ever. suddenly, very overwhelmed with your feelings, you hid your face on the crook of his neck.

you felt zhang hao’s chest vibrate from the laughter he let out. “cute” he whispered quietly, mostly to just himself, cherishing your head again. you got comfortable again, almost falling asleep in his embrace. his breath also evening out as he was slowly drifting away to sleep too.

“i really like you too, zhang hao” you sleepily mumbled against his skin, before the two of you fell into dreamland together.

- end

bonus:

“why do you always call me zhang hao?”

“maybe because it’s your name??”

“yes, but everyone calls me hao. you’re the only one who calls me zhang hao”

“oh”

“well, hao, i’ll call you that from now on”

the boy’s face flushed red as he finally heard you say his name.

“oh my god, you’re so cute!”

he turns his face to hide his blush from you.

“shut up”

#zb1 #zerobaseone #zhang hao #zhanghao #zb1 x reader #zb1 zhang hao #zhang hao fic #zb1 fluff #zb1 fics #zerobaseone zhang hao #zhang hao x reader #kpop #cloudbersoofic

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vxmpyree · 4 months ago

Note

HELLO first if all I LOVE UR WRITING ... UR NIKTO FICS MAKE ME WANNA SCREAM INTO A PILLOW (/very pos)

ive never requested anything ever so im shy n gonna use anon teehee. ANYWAYS ik you said you write for pretty much anyone but i'm still gonna ask: do you write for keegan? if you do..... could i ask for a sick fic?🙏🙏 or any type of fluff rlly. with a male reader :3 (theres barely any for him 💔) THANK YOU FOR UR SERVICE IN THIS FANDOM BTW RAHHHH🫡🫡🫡💖💖‼️‼️‼️‼️

ofc!! i dont know much about cod ghosts so sorry for any errors. thisll be my first plot fic :)) ♡ not beta read,,

[im the devil - clams casino] [0.7k wc]

when keegan returns from deployment, he finds you ill, and not just with a bit of a sniffle and cough. no, he can hear how your lungs shudder with every breath and feel how your skin is hot to the touch.

being his husband isn’t an easy job. he’s always out for one reason or another. you’ll be at home watching a film together, only for his boss to call and say that they need his help. he’s too much of a workaholic and empath to say no, i’m busy. keegan is always worrying about you, always thinking about the slight pout of your lips when he comes out of his bedroom in uniform again.

so, seeing you like this doesn’t do any good for his anxiety.

“you’re burning up,” he mutters, pulling a thermometer out of your mouth.

the curtains are drawn, letting in only traces of sunlight tinted by the lavender linen. more light would only give you a headache.

he pulls off his gloves before reaching out to touch you, not wanting to touch you with the same cloth that clutches his rifle. his rough palms move to cup your cheeks, swollen from fever and sweat. you can hardly even keep your eyes open.

“did you eat today?”

he grumbles as you shake your head. you must’ve been too sick to get out of bed, only able to helplessly roll over and try to sleep through hunger pangs. at times like this, he wishes he hadn’t chosen an occupation of aiming sniper rifles and long months of waiting in bushes or on tall buildings. then, he’d be able to take care of you.

“do you want to eat? we’ve got… hm… soup and crackers. or bread,” he presses.

you shake your head again. you don’t want to eat!

keegan sinks into the edge of the bed and furrows his brow, considering you. he has the air conditioner unit on for your feverish top half, and keeps the sheets over your shivering legs. he’s taken your temperature and wiped you down. he gave you some tylenol, which should’ve gone with a cold glass of water, but you gulped it down before he came back with something to drink.

something is missing. there’s more that he could do for you, but he just can’t put his finger on it.

when he lifts his head to check on you, keegan finds that you’re already staring at him. he has to stifle a smile. you are what makes him feel at home-- your accepting stares, and the slight curl of your lips. it would’ve been impossible not to wish for something more when you’re so welcoming, so warm.

you motion with one hand for him to come closer. for a moment, he wants to say no, that his face is still covered in grease and he’s clad in heavy armor. but what’s the use in saying no to a face like yours? before he can even start stripping himself of his gear first, he’s already slipping into the sheets.

there’s the low hum of the air conditioner unit and the occasional car rolling down your quiet street. everything seems so small when he’s here with you, tucked away from the world. all he can think of is the smell of your shampoo and the slow rise and fall of your chest.

"...did you just miss me?” he whispers.

you only smile and watch him silently, looking at the bump in his nose and cheeks starting to droop with age. he’s getting older and so are you. it feels like you two only just settled down. the years have slipped through his fingers like sand. maybe it’s time for him to retire. then, he could spend all the time with you in the world.

keegan leans closer to you, and wonders if he smells like gunpowder and sweat. but he waves his worries away in favor of gathering you in his arms. his palm rubs slow circles into your back, wrinkling your old t-shirt.

you cough into his chest and furrow your fingers into the back of his heavy jacket. your hands claw helplessly like it’ll ameliorate the itch at the back of your throat or your heavy cough. if he could, he’d do away with this sick spell. he can do things most men can’t, from scaling towering buildings to gutting men, but he can’t fix his poor husband’s fever and runny nose.

he pats your back until you settle down, becoming jelly in his arms.

will he be sick tomorrow? definitely, but he wouldn’t mind spending a day hidden away with his husband, even if the two of you can only lie in bed and kiss each other’s warm faces.

#call of duty #cod mw2 #cod drabble #cod fic #cod x you #cod #cod keegan #keegan p russ #keegan russ #cod ghosts #keegan x reader #keegan russ x reader #keegan x male reader #keegan x you #vxmpyree

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explodingstar · 7 months ago

Text

I miss you Simon.

Warnings: NSFW 18+

Pairings: Simon Riley x f!reader

It was a slow day for you back home all the household chores were done and dinner was already made for later tonight. Just some leftovers from the night before, reheated. Simon had only left a couple weeks ago to go back on deployment to another mission. You miss him already and damn do you miss him. You grab a book and lay down in bed with only the bedside lamp illuminating the darkness of the bedroom.

Buzz buzz

A text? From Simon? You pick up your phone hoping to see his name in your notifications instead its just another alert from facebook. You roll your eyes and put down your phone again but you REALLY needed him to text you especially with the mood you were in at the moment. All of a sudden an idea comes to your mind and you put the book you were reading down on the bedside table alongside your glass of wine. Was this a drunken idea? Possibly. Did it still seem like a good idea?

Definitely.

You get up and walk over to your closet and grab Simons favorite article of clothing that he LOVES to see you in. A black lacy one piece that is just sheer enough to see everything, in the right lighting. You grab your tripod and set it up at the edge of the bed and change into the lingerie that Simon had essentially tried to rip off of you before. You set up your phone on the tripod and turn it on video mode to take screenshots of it later. At first you pose a couple different ways. One on your knees with your arms pushing your tits together and your hands on the bed in front of you. Another one with the top of the one piece down so your tits are fully out and your hands running through your long gorgeous hair. You get to thinking…‘What would Simon enjoy most?’ An idea hits you. You turn your back to the camera and seductively bend over to where your ass is in the air and your soaking wet pussy can be seen through the sheer lingerie that you decided to put on. You get up and grab your phone looking through the video to make sure everything is perfect. A couple screenshots here, a couple there and you make a little folder called “For Simon”.

“This should get him to text me…” ‘attachment delivered’ you read.

Simon’s POV

DING “Simon! You got a message!” “Thanks Johnny I’m pretty sure I can hear” Simon says annoyingly. He picks up his phone and opens your message. He smirks to himself and stands up from his seat. “I’ll be right back mates” He goes into the bathroom off of the barracks just for a bit more privacy.

Your POV

RING RING RING You look down at your phone blushing when you see Simon’s name and photo come across your screen. You slide over to answer “Hiiii Simon” You hear the sound of metal clinking together and you know exactly what it is, his belt coming undone with one hand. “Im going to assume you got my pictures love”

“Ughh Fuck. I did..ya miss me don’t ‘cha?” He says through grunts. “I always do” you say rubbing yourself just to the sound of his voice. A small moan escaping your lips as you do so. “Wait till I get back…you wont be able to walk for teasing me like this…oh fuck” he says softly. He continues stroking his cock still looking at the pictures you sent. “I cant wait for you to come home.” You say with your middle finger slowly pumping in and out of you. “Fuck..well lucky for you I get home tomorrow…”

A/N: I plan on making this a part 1! Part 2 would be Simon coming home. 😈 (Sorry for any errors its almost 2AM.)

#cod #cod fanfic #cod modern warfare #cod mw3 #cod x reader #ghost cod #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you

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jaemlonfz · 1 year ago

Text

MOVIE STAR

jaehyun x fem!reader

tw: english isnt my first language correct me if theres any mistakes actors!au, sex, jaehyun is kinda rude at first but gets cute at the end, creampie, sex on the couch, unprotected sex but please wrap yourself, I didn't proofread, if I have errors, help me, idk if there more.

wc: 2,9k

synopsis: you get really shy after a makeout scene with jaehyun, on your new kdrama and he makes a way of you get over it - or get even more shy.

author's note: i posted this last year and im editing it so looks better, english isnt my mother tongue so im sorry if theres any mistakes

movie star - cix

Last year was a wonderful year for your career, getting the attention you wanted and completely fair to your work, you finally started to see your career take off like a rocket. It was thanks to the second drama you did, having the role of the protagonist's best friend, the few scenes that you were the protagonist made many people appreciate your talent and started calling you for several series and films. This is one of them.

This new drama consisted of you as the lead, the famous Jeong Jaehyun as the second lead, and Hwang In-Youp as the second romance option. The script was really that common drama thing, it has a plot between two rival CEOs - you and Jaehyun - and your secretary - In-Youp. But the story at the end is about who you would end up with, and in this case it's Jaehyun.

His personality on camera is surprising, he managed to be a brat in person, even though he is the grandson of a CEO of a large company.

After several recordings, the satisfying last episodes arrived, a bit of a reward for those who were tense during the entire drama. In case you and Jaehyun finally act like a romantic couple, and that's where our problem comes in.

There was one scene in particular, after a long day of bad luck you come home and collapse in bed tired. When Jaehyun plans to make a surprise visit to your apartment and he finds you totally tense, lying face down on the bed he decides to treat you. The tiring night turned into something super fun, with movies and popcorn, something simple and pure.

Until the TV light tired their eyes, so they decided to sleep. The thing is, none of them could sleep a wink. Even though the night was fun, the concerns of your work came to the fore when you remembered that you would step in that place again, and in Jaehyun's head, there was no intense thought, but images of you rolling in slow motion, making it clear that he was extremely grateful and lucky to have you.

Moonlight illuminated the room, and two people awake while the clock read 1:27 in the morning, and you couldn't take it anymore. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, you can't sleep either?" He asked and you soon grumbled in response. Undoing the shell, you turned it to face him.

"What's going on in your head, is it insomnia again?" Innocent words come out of your mouth

"You're on my mind, that's why I can't sleep" He smiled breathing heavily. Approaching without noticing, when he noticed he was already glued to his body. Now with both heavy breaths he decided to close the path, kissing her mouth for minutes that felt like a few more hours. Kissing down her neck and neck of her breasts. His breathing was a lot heavier now.

The scene was in the script. You had to record it, but this kiss was so sincere, Jaehyun had his hands on your precious waist, moving his thumbs in circles making you shiver just thinking about it.

Thank God that the producers shouted that the take was over, as the scene was on the brink of going off script. When you heard the warning, you got out from under the covers and ran to your dressing room. Taking a deep breath and mentally hammering that it was just a scene, and apparently there would be no need to redo it.

After a few minutes of the incident, you were already in the dressing room, with an iced americano on top of the dressing table, when someone knocked on the door. Screaming they can come in you were amazed when the director entered with Jaehyun in your small room.

'Thanks to your coworker here we are going to make some changes to the script, putting in more mature scenes. After everything the characters have been through they deserve a little bit." He finished the sentence and left the room leaving you and Jaehyun alone.

Your cheeks and ears were the deepest shade of red and you were blinking hard trying to believe this was just a dream.

When Jaehyun really stopped imagining what the additions to the script would be, he looked at you, and saw your face as red as a strawberry.

"It's just a scene." He said laughing. "You think you can't do it? The most pleasurable scene of all and you'll have to call your stunt double?"

He moved closer and closer, never giving your cheeks a chance to return to their normal tone.

"Are you going to have to call a stunt double just because you're too embarrassed to give yourself up to me?" He laughed, releasing the cold air on your neck. "Where's your professionalism?"

Now Jaehyun looked exactly like the character. Arrogant with a sky-high ego, but a hottie. And you were like your character too, always with red ears and extremely hurt by your teasing, but you changed the script - at least you tried - took your still arms out of place and grabbed Jaehyun's chest trying to throw him away, but failing miserably, as he had now taken ypur hands and bent down to kiss the palms of both.

"I'll see you soon." He whispered in her ear and gave a peck seconds before walking out the door.

Your heart was racing, and after that damned conversation you had to play the part without calling in any backup, just to prove something to that damn brat.

In the new scene, you were lying on the sofa while Jaehyun's hands explored your neck, slowly sliding down, his lips were sealed to yours and your hair was completely messed up, but in such a sexy way that you wanted to die.

Seconds later his hands descended to her waist and his lips slipped in the lap of your breasts, his face was bright and his eyes completely dark. When the director shouted "Cut!" you practically jumped off the couch like crazy and ran without even hearing feedback on your acting.

Since then the scenes have become much more difficult to record, your heart has been racing more and more and the amount of times you stutter seems abnormal. A few weeks ago you and Jaehyun were practically best friends, at the end of every recording you would go out drinking and having fun, but now you leave him as soon as the take is over and he definitely noticed.

"How can my lead actress run away from me like that" - Jaehyun said entering your dressing room and locking the door. From the look on his face he had plotted something and was close to executing his new plan.

Your face has already turned red remembering those lips wandering over your neck, stuttering uncontrollably you started to walk backwards until you hit the wall.

I know what happened to you, and that's pretty sweet to be honest - He followed you like a magnet follows metal, soon joining you by the wall.

His bare muscular arm - thanks to the blessed tank top he decided to wear today - was resting on the wall next to your reddened face.

"The directors are starting to complain, saying that your acting and professionalism has gone downhill" He said with those pink lips at the tip of your ear.

"If it continues like this they will end the series, and end the contract." Now he kissed your ear. "I know how to solve this."

That was his plan. And you knew it, but you were tempted. Did your career just take off and it's about to crash? You were lucky when you signed the company papers as it was one of the biggest in Korea. But now that was a disadvantage, if they fire you they'll spread it all over the press and you'll end up broke. So you fell for Jaehyun's miserable plan.

How would you solve this? - Your voice trembled along your legs.

"If you fuck with me, you'll lose the embarrassment of kissing me in front of the cameras." He said kissing down and biting your neck.

"We don't have more kissing scenes." You complained while giving space to Jaehyun, who was about to fit his knee between your legs.

"But I can change that. Again." Now he looked into your eyes, going through your physical body being able to see even your soul. "Do you want my help?"

Jaehyun's dark eyes pleaded with you without saying anything. And you couldn't deny or nod. You only managed to kiss that pretty mouth without saying anything.

In a matter of seconds you are pressed firmly against the wall, your hands on Jaehyun's neck, scratching, and his hands are divided. One on your neck trying to pull you closer and the other squeezing your waist.

Your eyes were closed, but when the kiss broke and you went to admire Jaehyun, your vision was blurrier than the streets when covered in fog. That was Jaehyun's effect on you.

It covered you like smoke leaving you dizzy, without vision and any senses.

And in that not seeing straight, you just felt your weight being carried to the couch. You were sitting normally, if not counting the fact that your chair was Jaehyun's lap. You tried to sloppily kiss him again, but that was impossible with your shirt between your faces.

She was being lifted up so they could have a perfect view of your bra covered chest - which was left there for now.

Now the kiss was successfully conceived now that you was shirtless. Your legs spread between Jaehyun's thick thighs were in constant motion up and down his lap. Until everything stopped.

"You look beautiful with those jeans, I don't even want to take them off." Jaehyun bit his lower lip as he said those words.

"But I'm so looking forward to seeing the color of your panties, especially what they hide" Now he would throw you on the couch. Turning you over, putting your back on the pillow.

Kissing your breasts you can't help but encourage him. "Light pink, with a little bow." You whispered in the brunette's ear.

You can feel his smile in the valley of your boobs . That while he was still there, because seconds later his mouth was somewhere else.

With sloppy moans accompanying another confusing kiss you could feel Jaehyun's cold hands go down to the bottom of your pants, then down as well.

Your tight jeans - which enhanced your ass in an absurd way - were already somewhere else, because now all Jaehyun admired was you, your bra - which honestly he doesn't know why he hasn't taken it off yet - and your light pink panties, which at the moment was already in another tone due to the humidity of your pussy.

Reading the brunette's thoughts, you grabbed the boy's strong arms and helped him unclasp your bra. Now with your breasts flying in his sight, he shifted again. Repeating the position leaving you in his lap. You wiggled around in his black jeans - specifically in the tent next to his belly. - His hands resting on the back of the couch and your head leaning back releasing the most pornographic moans ever seen while Jaehyun sucked your breasts like a child.

Biting the nipple and sucking the round - relatively large - while groping the other, making a switch in a few minutes.

Your cunt was now throbbing and trying to behave by squeezing into nothingness. Jaehyun - you just meowed and that was all it took for him to notice. Your nails itched and pulled Jaehyun's shirt off, giving you the pleasure of scratching that chest.

Back played on the couch, you breathed hard rolling your eyes just feeling the wind in your hot pussy.

In a flash you saw Jaehyun tucking the pink fabric into his pocket, and then you saw his head ducking into its warmth.

The pleasure that Jaehyun's mouth would bring to your body is something unimaginable and surprisingly unique. No one would ever dare to do like him. The tongue you've kissed many times was kissing somewhere else, but it kept being sloppy making everything more fun.

Your head was empty, and you were meaningless - other than the warmth and affection received between your legs - so the noise you made was so loud, but you didn't even care. After all I just felt like moaning like a bitch when Jaehyun told you.

"Were you a porn star before taking on this role? You moan like one." Aggressive words were thrown at you, but that still didn't stop you from continuing like a whore.

You've been close since he started labor, but when his tongue starts teasing your soft spot, your clit, you freak out.

Tired of listening to you exposing to the world how good he was, his arm fumbled in the pockets until he found the pink fabric. Tucking the wet panties into your mouth, and swirling your tongue around the sensitive hole, you climaxed with teary eyes.

"Now shut up." He said lifting your pussy and taking the tissue from your throat. "I want my souvenir back."

He said and kissed you, spreading the taste of your pussy all over your mouth.

Jaehyun was so naughty and so precious at the same time. It's been months since you had any kind of relationship, and even with the rude words Jaehyun didn't hurt you.

You were almost freaking out because he made you feel so good without even doing the full job - untill now.

Innovating the position now only you were sitting on the couch. Your knees were propped up on your chest giving a magnificent view of your swollen pussy.

Jaehyun was quick to get out of his dark jeans and underwear, spitting onto his pre-cum wet dick, in a matter of seconds you could feel him getting into position.

"Open your legs please." - Surprisingly he begged, and you gave in so easily. Whimpering in response and the icy contact you obeyed by stretching your legs.

"If you feel pain let me know." - He said kissing her lip. Jaehyun is so readable now. His brows were furrowed and he was biting his lip so hard it looked like any second it would bleed. On the other hand, they felt like they were tearing you apart.

Jaehyun's thick cock invaded you completely, every firm breath you took, your insides tightened, and you both suffered from it. You swore you saw Jaehyun shake, and he swore he looked like he was going to explode.

You closed your eyes tightly when you got used to it. Head shaking when Jaehyun was free to move.

Now it was you who was trembling. Jaehyun reached you in full when standing still, now in motion you came in a few moves.

It fit so well, and you felt magnificent, and seconds later, the news was coming. Its liquid exploded on Jaehyun who had to hold back from doing the same in less than 3 minutes inside.

You were already getting used to it. Getting used to swinging full length when Jaehyun hammered you. Your head bobbing back and forth, your hands destroying his pecs - thanks to your beautiful nails - and your boobs bouncing. It was already perfect, you were going to arrive for the third time and possibly pass out thanks to your fog, until everything changed

Jaehyun in a matter of seconds he lifted your thigh and rested his knee on your shoulder, invading you even more. The tip of his cock destroyed the beginning of your womb, and your bleary eyes changed. The cloud has changed.

Your head was spinning and you were seeing stars, you squeezed when you felt your third one coming, and this time Jaehyun felt the same.

You broke out in a cold sweat when he came on you. He shot all his flavor inside you, he made you a pie. And then your squirt came hard.

Your waters dripped from your eyes and your pussy. You cried when he laughed and said you were extremely hot while you came.

"I'm sorry I didn't talk that much when I was inside you." He placed a kiss on your cheek and walked over to your dressing table to grab the wet wipes packet.

"I was very concentrated, I wanted to impress you" He laughed as he walked back to your side.

You who had already closed your legs in shame had red cheeks when he opened it again. It was impossible not to moan as he cleaned you up. Jaehyun looked like an angel between her legs.

"Thank you so much." He kissed your thigh.

You were already dressed - you were still without your panties - when he sat next to you on the couch.

"I'm sorry about the couch too, it must have been uncomfortable for you, such a small place." - He fed his addiction of kissing your cheek. "Go out with me tomorrow and we'll finish in my bed, it's much bigger."

He turned your face giving another kiss, but this time on your mouth.

"What time do you pick me up?" You replied laughing shyly.

You were definitely not embarrassed to be around him anymore. And you didn't even notice the change.

His plans always worked.

@jaemlonfz 2023

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