#(( -- Also this' the end of the Alteo series. Part 4 was supposed to happen so much sooner but. C o l l e g e ))

[tsuitouu]

[ KOGASA ] Alteo - Part 4 [ August 23rd ]

Kei’s picture didn’t seem to move, even when time did.

Even when he did.

Kogasa slowly knelt in front of the photograph, careful not to disturb the bundle in his arms. A wry smile came to his face.

“Hey.”

Ke’s eyes stared on.

“It’s been a while. … Don’t look now, but I got you something.”

He gently set the small pot of blue hydrangeas in front of the photo. His face fell after a beat of silence.

“Don’t get the wrong idea. I still don’t like you, and I don’t feel like changing my opinion about you any time soon.” He nodded towards the pot of flowers. “This’… this’ for me more than you.”

He crossed his arms.

“It’s been three… - three and a half?… - years since I played your game. I was… a really different person back then.” He looked off to one side. “… I was trying to be the kind of person my dad wanted to be; someone who killed his feelings in order to rise above peoples’ expectations. A protector who never faltered, no matter what came his way. All the stuff he… wasn’t.”

…

“… The boy who died back then… he was trying too hard to be someone he’s not.”

He was not, nor would he ever be, what Hiraoka Mamoru wanted from him.

“… But we both knew that already, huh?” Kogasa shook his head. “And yet, I became afraid of the things he was scared of, too. Letting people down, not being able to protect people, never being strong enough… I hate it when I can’t be the person my friends and family need most. And that… made me do the same mistakes he did, I think.”

He’s pushed so many people away in the past. He’s hurt his friends so many times. He’s placed Amaryllis’ life in danger more than once - and he never be someone who can truly protect her, even if he wanted to.

“… I sometimes think that, without even trying, I’ve become an echo of what he was.”

…

“… Yet… somehow… I’m still alive, and I’m with all of people that matter to me. Even when I make mistakes, and even when they see me fail, people stay. And… and they love me. A lot.”

His hands rest against his lap, and he stares at the faint scars along them.

“… I don’t know what you saw in me all those years ago. … I’m scared to know.” A humorless laugh left him. “But… whatever you saw - whatever told you to keep me alive long enough to get this far… I appreciate it.”

…

Kogasa inhaled.

“… Seriously, why do I keep talking to you? It’s not like you’re going to tell me anything worthwhile.”

He got up to his feet and dusted himself off. He stared at Kei’s photo, words forming and disappearing in his head for a moment longer, before he quietly bowed his head and left.