#(<-has to do a Scary Thing and will probably need all day to prepare for/decompress from it)

[musical-chick-13]

Trying to determine whether I'm brave enough to post this chapter update in the character tags.

[iamwhoami]

Crash (One Chicago)

One Chicago

   Y/N Voight gets into a car crash, leaving not only her father extremely worried but also her partner Jay Halstead and boyfriend Kelly Severide.

Warnings: Car crash that results in injuries

Requested = Yes

   It wasn’t usual for you to get time off from work but now that you were relaxing on your couch, you remembered why you hardly ever took days off.

It was boring.

   You spent the morning cleaning the apartment you and your boyfriend, Kelly Severide, shared. You did some yoga and meditation but by time the clock struck noon, you were running out of things to do.

So you decided to go visit Kelly at the firehouse.

   You texted Kelly a heads up before grabbing your keys. You figured you’d drop by the bakery on your way there, pick up some treats for everyone but that didn’t take very long.

   That brought you here. In your car with a box of donuts sitting next to you in the passenger seat where on a normal day, Jay should be in place of the donuts. 

But today was not a normal day.

   You sighed as you went on, thinking about how exciting your day could have been if you hadn’t decided that you “needed time off”.

   Suddenly, you heard the screeching of tires and a honk before you looked to your left, just to see a car coming straight at you. Your eyes went wide but before you could do anything you felt it smash into the driver’s door, knocking you unconscious.

~~~

“5021 George, I need an ambulance and a squad at the intersection of Jackson and Throop.” Jay said into his radio as he hopped out of the car.

“Copy that 5021 George, an ambulance and squad are on the way.

“Hey, hey, Jay!” Ruzek called out to his temporary partner as he got out of the car as well, “Isn’t that Y/N’s car?”

   Jay’s eyes widened and he ran over to the car.

“Oh shit,” He cursed when he saw your limp body in the driver’s seat. The seat belt had prevented you from being tossed when the car hit yours but your injuries still looked really bad.

“Ruzek, check on the suspect!” Jay ordered and ran over to the passenger side before flinging the door open and tossing the mushed box of donuts aside. He then crawled in to check on you.

   Jay placed to fingers to your neck, praying that there would be a pulse. When he felt the faint beating against his fingers, he let out a sigh of relief that you were still alive but he knew you were barely holding on.

“This is 5021 George,” He said into his radio, “What’s the ETA on that ambo?”

“Two minutes.”

   It felt like the longest two minutes of his life but Ambulance 61 did show up with Squad 3 right behind it.

“What happened?” Brett asked, grabbing the jump bag and heading over to where you were.

“We were chasing a suspect,” Jay ran a hand through his hair, “He smashed right into her car.”

   Severide’s eyes grew wide, “Is that Y/N?”

   Kelly didn’t need a reply to a question he already knew the answer to.

“How’s the driver?” Brett called out to the Foster who was checking on the suspect.

“Probably has a concussion but he’s stable,” Foster replied and then spoke into the radio, “Ambo 61 to main, we’re requesting a second ambo at our location.”

   Foster then hurried over back to your car, “How is she?”

   Brett shook her head, “We need to get her out of that car and to Med fast.”

“You heard her! Tony, Capp, get the suspect’s car attached to the truck and then pull it back!” Severide ordered, “Cruz, get the hydraulic claws so we can open this door once the car’s moved!”

   Once the car was moved and the door to the driver’s seat was open, Brett wrapped the c-collar around your neck before easing you onto the backboard that was laid on the stretcher.

“Is she going to be okay?” Kelly asked, watching as Foster and Brett checked you over. “She’s going to be okay right?”

   Brett bit her bottom lip, “She has a pneumothorax in the left lung. We have to get going so I’ll decompress on route.”

“Let me come,” Kelly took a step towards the stretcher you laid on and Foster and Brett shared a look.

“Alright, get in the rig,” Brett finally said and her and Foster started rolling you towards the ambo.

   Jay waved at them to go, “I’ll wait here for the second ambo and then I’ll meet you guys at Med!”

~~~

“Y/N?”

   Will looked down at his brother’s partner as she was wheeled into the ER on a stretcher.

“What happened?” He turned his eyes to Brett and Foster.

“Car accident,” Brett explained, “She has a collapsed lung, multiple lacerations to the face and neck from the glass as well as trauma to the whole left side.”

   Maggie nodded, “You guys are going to Trauma 3.”

   The paramedics wheeled you into the hospital room and Maggie looked over at Will.

“You and Nat got this?” She asked and Will nodded. “Okay, I’ll page Dr. Marcel.”

“Alright, move on my count,” Natalie grabbed one side of the backboard and prepared to lift, “One, two three!”

   While the doctors figured out what the best course of treatment for you would be, Kelly was desperately trying to see what was happening to you. The rest of 51 would be showing up soon as well since he had updated them on what happened to you on the way to Med.

“What’s going on?” Kelly asked Natalie as she stepped out of the room while they prepared to move you.

“Y/N is bleeding into her lung. Essentially, it means she’s drowning in it so we’re taking her up to surgery now,” Natalie explained, “I’ll keep you updated.”

   Before Kelly could ask any more questions, Natalie was whisked away to tend to another patient and a nurse was kindly escorting him to the waiting room where the family of Firehouse 51 was waiting.

“How is she?” Casey asked as Kelly slumped into a chair.

“Currently?” Kelly rubbed his eyes, “Drowning in her own blood.”

   A series of worried sighs and grimaces went around the room and Kelly nodded.

“God, I can’t live without her,” Kelly was hardly keeping it together.

“Y/N’s strong,” Chief Boden’s calm voice broke through the tense air, “We all know that, and we all know that she’s going to fight like she does everyday on the streets.”

   A murmur of agreement echoed and Chief Boden nodded.

“She’s strong.”

~~~

“Kelly Severide?”

   Kelly’s head snapped up to see April standing by the door that led into the ER.

“Y/N’s out of surgery.”

“Is she okay?” Herrmann asked. He had always been a fatherly figure towards you and joked all the time how you were practically his daughter.

   April nodded, “She’s in the ICU right now. The surgery was successful but she lost a lot of blood.”

“Can we see her?” Brett questioned.

“One visitor at a time,” April replied, “She’s really weak right now and needs a lot of rest.”

   Everyone agreed that Kelly should be the first person to see you so April led him up to the ICU floor and to your room.

   Quietly and slowly, April opened the door and let Kelly into your hospital room before closing the door again, giving the two of you some privacy.

“Hey...” You smiled at Kelly. Your voice was hoarse and the bruises looked scary on your face and arms but Kelly was just relieved you were alive.

“Hey yourself,” He took a seat in the chair next to your bed. “How’re you feeling?”

   You took a moment to remember what had happened.

“Is the other guy okay?” You asked, “He hit me right? Or did I run the stop sign? No, that can’t be right...I swear I was the only car there...”

“He was a suspect and was being chased by the CPD,” Kelly explained and put a hand on your shoulder, trying to calm you down, “It wasn’t your fault, plus, I’m pretty sure he just got off with a concussion.”

   You relaxed against the bed, “Oh...”

“Don’t do that to me again by the way,” Kelly scolded gently and took your hand into his.

“Do what?” You looked at him confused.

   Kelly reached over and caressed your cheek before answering your question.

“Don’t go and almost die on me again,” Kelly said, “And don’t even think about going and actually dying on me.”

   You smile and nodded.

“Alright.”

[eldritchsurveys]

oo6.

1. Do you have any sort of “secret” goals or dreams, where you think about doing something a lot, but haven’t told anyone about it or actually made steps to achieve it? Maybe something you aren’t quite serious about, but still like to consider? >> I’m not sure. I don’t think so. Making goals isn’t a thing I’m really into. I don’t like to focus my life on one thing (moving to New Orleans is the only thing that I’m focused on, and that’s causing me enough grief because I can’t really do anything about furthering that process, it’s just a waiting game), because it has a tendency to tunnel my vision. I like to be open to as many opportunities as possible, and also... what kind of goals would a person like me have, anyway?  2. Does your town/area have a farmer’s market? Do you ever buy your vegetables there rather than grocery store? >> There are probably quite a few, but the one I know about is down the road from me. I haven’t been there when they start selling foodstuffs yet; I’m looking forward to finally buying produce from there, though. 3. Has anyone ever “ruined” anything for you (for example: your partner says, “oh, this song always reminds me of my ex” and you never want to listen to it again, or your friend is so obsessed with a movie that you start to resent the film)? >> Nah. That reminds me of Vlad, though, and how Sigma and Crystal fucking ran Repo! the Genetic Opera into the fucking ground around her to the point where Vlad refused to ever watch it or have anything to do with it. Like, damn, how obnoxious do you have to be to drive someone to that point. (Obviously if someone doesn’t find it obnoxious, then go ape-shit -- but if someone’s like “please stop singing these songs literally all the time” and you keep doing it? You’re the asshole in this situation.) 4. If you had a significant other and somehow got a chance to kiss your celebrity crush, would you still go for it? >> I don’t think my significant others would have anything against me kissing Idris Elba LMAOsdnfkglkj 5. If you still live with your parents, is it scary for you to imagine living away from them when you move out on your own? If you live on your own, how did you cope with moving away from your family for the first time? >> I didn’t really have time to acclimate to the change. I left my father’s house and drove myself straight back into the lion’s den that fucked me up the first time, because trauma does weird shit to people and in my case at that time, it made me... go back to it. And predictably, more fucked up shit happened, and I ended up back at my father’s house anyway, and then I turned 18 and got put into the hospital for suicidal ideation, and after that I was... on my own. Officially. And I had a drug-addict boyfriend, which took up all my time and energy, so I once again had no time or energy to process the fact that I was an adult out in this world that I was in no way prepared for. So, you know. I coped wonderfully!

6. Do you tend to be attracted to people that are more similar to you in interests and mannerisms or do you tend to be attracted to someone opposite/complementing to you? >> I really don’t, like... think about it. I’m just attracted to whom I’m attracted to. I trust there’s a reason for it, but I don’t make a big deal out of looking for the reason. 7. If you could choose your dream cast for a movie, name 3-4 actors you’d choose to be in it. >> Hmm. 8. Is there something that people complain about that just makes your roll your eyes because you think is not a big deal and you would gladly trade your own issues for it? >> Unfortunately, yeah, and every time I feel that way I have to talk myself out of it, because it’s uncharitable and short-sighted, not to mention dismissive of other people’s experiences and traumas. But, you know, being human, and all. It be’s like this sometimes. (It’s usually about people I don’t know, like, teenagers on tumblr complaining about... idk, their parents or something.) 9. Does it bother you when you find out that your friends have hung out without inviting you? >> This is definitely not a problem I have.

10. Have you discovered or learned anything that’s excited you, lately? If not, do you ever actually feel excitement when learning about something new? >> Sure. I mean, I don’t remember what exactly now, but that’s a familiar feeling. 11. What is a talent that a lot of other people desire or value but you really don’t care to have (e.g., singing, etc.)? >> Hmm... playing an instrument, I’d say. I like singing just fine. And I love to listen to other people play instruments, I don’t need to play one myself. 12. Do you remember the first time you consciously took a stand for your own rights (e.g., walking out of class while offended)? If you don’t remember the first time, can you explain one time when you’ve done this? >> Yeah, I really don’t remember the first time I might have done something like this. I don’t even remember any time I’ve done anything like this. I don’t think I like... take a conscious stand for things. I don’t know. 13. Is there something that you would claim as the best purchase you ever made? >> Probably not. I mean, I make decent purchases, but nothing that stands out. 14. Have you ever received an unwanted gift from someone trying to woo you? Did you accept it or reject it? >> I don’t think so. 15. Do you find that you compare yourself to others often? What sort of things do you find you compare most? >> Nah, I don’t do it all that often. Like, it happens sometimes, but it’s not a big problem I need to fix or anything. Sometimes I compare my relationship with Wednesday to other people’s relationship to [their personal incarnations of Wednesday], and that’s dumb but I know it comes from my anxieties regarding religious things in general. Christian leftovers, basically. Religious trauma is the issue I need to work on, not necessarily my knee-jerk comparing. 16. Do you ever do something in public and then worry that you might have embarrassed the people you were with? >> Sometimes, but that’s usually because substances were involved. It’s not a big problem now. 17. What was the last thing to make you really inspired to write or create art? If you don’t remember the last thing, do you ever find yourself struck by sudden inspiration? >> I do find myself struck with sudden inspiration on occasion, but I try not to depend upon that. Inspiration is fickle, and sometimes you just need to sit down and write whether it shows up or not. 18. Are you excited at all about the upcoming The Perks of Being a Wallflower movie? >> LOL 19. Would you say that you have a competitive streak when it comes to certain things? Which situations bring out the competitor in you? >> I’m really not competitive at all. In a battle of natural selection, I’d fucking lose so hard. 20. Have you ever boycotted a product or corporation? How come? >> Nah. 21. Are there any people whom you aspire to be like? Which traits do you find in those people that you wish to emulate? >> I mean, everyone I know has at least a couple of traits that I’d like to develop more in myself. Whether I do it or not is another story, lmao. 22. Are you a registered bone-marrow donor? If not, would you be interested in registering (bethematch.org) or is there something that turns you away from it? >> I’m not, but Sparrow is. The moment she said that it’s hella painful I was like “okay, donation is noble and wonderful but uh. I’m good” 23. If someone asks you to hang out, but for some reason you’re just feeling lazy/don’t want to go anywhere, do you ignore them, make up an excuse, or just tell them the honest truth? >> Listen, people who are going to be friends with me need to know that I’m gonna need days to just veg out at home and decompress and shit, or even to just be by myself for a little while, so I might as well be honest from the gate. I’ll try to make it up to them another day. 24. Do you think it should be illegal for gas stations to sell synthetic drugs (like K2 and Bath Salts) under the guise of them being “potpourri,” or do you think it’s not the gas stations’ fault for trying to make a penny, it’s the user’s fault for abusing the potpourri? >> I do think that should be illegal, because I’ve witnessed first-hand what K2 does to people. I even tried it myself, and oh my god, fuck that shit to hell. It’s... it’s disturbing. It’s so disturbing. I wish it’d go the fuck away. And while I’m all for personal accountability, I feel that’s an unnecessarily callous stance to take when it comes to substance use and abuse. There are a lot of factors that go into substance use and abuse -- mental health, socioeconomic position, the usage habits of one’s community, social alienation, desperation... like, the nuances are myriad. Saying something like “well they could just NOT use it” is an easy way to earn my distrust. 25. Have you heard of or even read the novel, “50 Shades of Grey”? If so, what’s your opinion about it? >> Heh. Yeah, I tried to read it. I didn’t get very far. I did see the movie, though! I used to feel a lot more strongly about it, but honestly, that was a waste of my fucking energy and I was just being ridiculous. It’s not that deep. 

[docfuture]

The Maker’s Ark - Chapter 41

     [This is a chapter from my latest novel, a sequel to The Fall of Doc Future and Skybreaker’s Call.  The start is here, and links to my other work here.  It can be read on its own, but contains spoilers for those two books.  I try to post new chapters about every two weeks, but there will sometimes be short stories and vignettes if I don’t have a new chapter ready.  The next chapter is planned for the week of November 27th.]

Previous:  Chapter 40

      There were tasks that Flicker shouldn't rush.  She had discovered when she was quite young that she could only build or repair a machine so fast, or things would start breaking.  And it was a good idea to take the effort to clean up and put all her tools away afterwards.  She was still working on better ways to do something similar while assimilating her high speed mind.  It was slower than stuffing everything into her flesh brain as fast as she could, but it helped with a whole set of chronic problems.       But she finally reached a stopping point, so she slowed down and returned her awareness to her physical surroundings.       "Better?" asked Donner in the dimness of the bedroom.       "What?"  Flicker hadn't realized he was awake.  "I'm fine, just done for now.  How could you tell?"       "That deep breath and sigh."       "Ah.  It's a relief to get all my gestalt memories transferred into my human mind in an orderly way.  Learning's bio-gestalt crew helped me out with some tricks for that.  They've kind of adopted me, since I don't have a bio-gestalt group of my own.  They're really nice.  But I'm feeling all talkative now."       "It's fine.  I figured you'd have a few more things to say."       "Yeah.  I'm sorry you got scared by the nuke.  Black Swan explained why she timed things so Journeyman and I weren't on Earth.  And didn't warn us.  I can tell you some of it.  There was a lot she didn't tell me, because that would be against the EDU rules on custom she's following, and because-- Well, anyway.  If you're interested."       "I am," he said.  Flicker could make out his grin in the faint light from the window.  "But I'd listen even if I weren't.  Talking when you're ready is part of how you cope."       "Fair enough.  So, it's really hard to arrange a believable alibi for me.  Hard for Journeyman too; he's not as fast, but doesn't have to worry about closed doors.  But doing something conspicuous, all day, on a moon of Jupiter, works for both of us.  And that was politically handy for Black Swan because of what happened in Russia."       "Because of who died?"       "Because of who didn't.  You know the guy calling for calm on that vid bit all the news programs showed?"       "The deputy assistant foreign minister, or whatever?"       "He was the highest ranking government official who knew picking a fight with Black Swan was stupid, and apparently was the only one with a reliable phone for a couple of hours.  So he's acting president now.  And will probably stay that way for a while--he won't start any wars, no one really hates him, and everyone will be afraid to try to assassinate him."       "Because of Black Swan?"       "Partly.  But partly because of me.  He was their superhero liaison person, I liked him, and people know it."       "Wait, you know him?"       "He was the diplomat I called to calm things down whenever I upset the Russians.  I talked to him after my Moon dance--I think you heard part of that.  He's not particularly honest, but he hasn't personally done anything horrible, and he's funny and good at defusing things.  So he's probably as good as they can do for now.  I'm not sure--I'm bad at politics compared to Doc, let alone Stella and Black Swan.  But do you see why a lot of paranoid people in shock might think I had something to do with him becoming president if I didn't have an alibi?  Black Swan wants them to blame her, not me."       "Ah.  Yeah."       "Another reason for the timing was so that no one could ask me to stop Black Swan disabling all those missiles.  I wouldn't have done it, but it saved me having to say no, or worrying about it.  A third reason was because anyone thinking of waiting until I'm off Earth to try something now has to worry about Black Swan being three moves ahead of them.  So I didn't stay upset at her for long."       "Reasonable.  But you said Journeyman was still pissed."       "He was upset about a bunch of other things, too.  One is Black Swan's fault--some Russian and Eastern European magicians are suddenly unemployed and want to talk to him urgently.  And other people want to talk to him about them, also urgently.  And he needed to brief Stella about some weird stuff those new aliens tried to do.  He needs some time.  That's why I came here to decompress.  Sorry about the short notice."       Donner grinned again.  "I had DASI set up a 'Flicker warning level' alert for my phone a while ago.  Works pretty well--I wasn't surprised.  And Journeyman is still kinda recovering, isn't he?"       "Not physically.  Lif did a good job of healing him.  But he's stressed because he needs to arrange for the tricky part of making the black hole--getting the construction subspace right.  So there's this book he has to master that's been giving him nightmares."       "Whoa.  Like a Necronomicon or something?"       Flicker laughed.  "No.  But he's a magician, not a physicist, the book is Chandrasekhar's The Mathematical Theory of Black Holes, and he's going to have to use it like a spellbook when he's changing the spell.  DASI is helping him, but it's still scary."       "Everything about making a black hole is scary to me.  I mean, you're going to be carrying it around, right?  What if you drop it?  And where are you gonna put it when you aren't using it?  It's not something you can stick in the garden shed with the lawnmower."       "I don't plan to use it anywhere near Earth.  And if I did, and dropped it, I'd just have to catch it again at apogee on the other side of the planet.  I might have to dig a hole, but going through the Earth wouldn't slow it down much at first.  It would only be a big problem long term.       "Storage will be a bit messier.  Journeyman should be able to make a different subspace for it that I can open without destroying.  Probably.  I'm still practicing.  But Doc pointed out that the subspace will heat up, because the hole will be radiating and the radiation won't have anywhere to go.  So I might get a big blast of energy when I pull it out if I haven't used it for a while, unless Journeyman pulls off another trick."       "Hoo boy.  I can see why he's having nightmares.  I'm just glad I can help you with yours."       "About that."  Flicker took a deep breath.  "I don't know much about the music stuff, but when Osk talks to you about healing, listen.  I'd have recovered full function in my hand a lot quicker if I had.  And if she asks you to practice, practice.  Because the person you're practicing for could be me."       "You think you might get badly hurt fighting whatever is coming?"       "I don't know.  But Golden Valkyrie told me something that gets scarier every time I think about it.  I could win--and still have my flesh and blood body be gone, because the energy levels just got too high.  Osk and some others are helping make arrangements in case that happens.  But they might need your help putting me together again.  You can call my mind back."       "Oof.  Like after I screwed up and Skybreaker took over your body?"       "The emulation, yeah.  But this would be harder, because Golden Valkyrie is gone.  She won't be pushing things in the background, like she has for most of my life.  It would be up to you and whoever else can help."       Donner was quiet for a moment.  "Practice.  Got it.  I can do that."       "Thank you."       Flicker put her arms around him in the darkness and just held him for a while.       *****       Doc awoke in the darkness, alone.  No nightmares--but a lifetime had given him a dark appreciation of them; reality was almost always an improvement.  Not so much, lately.       It was possible that his old nightmares were gone for good.  The last try had yielded a few garbled fragments that were possibly relevant--Europa instead of Europe, a black hole singularity instead of The Singularity--but nothing predictive.  Nothing he could use to plan.  And Stella was right; he'd structured his life around the direct and indirect information in them to a degree that required adjustment when they stopped.       He ran his set of post-nightmare self checks.  This was still data--Stella was spending the night in an EDU ship in orbit, therefore her physical presence nearby was not necessary to stop whatever mix of the old nightmare signals were still arriving.  She had given up on finishing their talk after Journeyman's interruption.  Morning would do.       Tonight had hadn't been an ideal time for the separation test, but when was?  Emergencies didn't wait their turn.       And it was past time to start planning for the consequences if it became politically untenable for the Director of the EDU to stay at his headquarters.  It was officially Deep Kingdoms territory--Sealord had made it his embassy--but the US government could revoke that.  Not unlikely, if there was a war.  Doc might have to move, too, but his options weren't the same as Stella's.       He checked the clock.  1:30 AM and he was wide awake, nightmare or not.  There were other preparations to make.  Also overdue, since causing unnecessary stress for the Director of the EDU made what should have been a personal decision--not.       He had data--important data--that he was perhaps not giving the weight he should.  Because... Well that was the question, wasn't it?  He was just as good at rationalizing as he was at rational thinking, and over-optimization could be a deadly trap if he moved out of the region of relevance.       No time like the present.       "DASI?"       "Yes, Doc?"       "Any pending alerts?"       "No."       "Estimate a bound on the chance Flicker will do something dramatic or transit a portal in the next two hours."       "Less than 1%."       "Well then.  Set alert interrupt level red plus.  Exception: Breakpoint.  Secure instance, nightmare privacy level.  Engage mindscreens."       "Verified."       "Emergency timeloop guard;  I'm thinking of a number--give me a four digit random integer."       "9291."       "No match.  Good.  Set probability manipulation canary, timeloop canary, oracle canary."       "Set."       "Okay, we'll give Breakpoint a little bit to see if he gets a sudden urge to call and warn me I'm about to make an apocalyptic mistake."       Doc picked up the headset from the nightstand and called up the appropriate notes from the secure section.  He hadn't even looked at them in a long time.  This wasn't going to be pleasant.       "Any changes?" he asked.       "None so far," said DASI.       "All right.  We're going to do a psychological bias renormalization, including nightmare context integration.  Primary known change: Golden Valkyrie is no longer wearing the Skystone.  Starting changed assumption: Golden Valkyrie is currently causally unlinked from Earth.  No preconception whether she will return to this worldline, if it survives.  Secondary changed assumptions:  Her last words to Flicker and Journeyman, and any consistent bias changes you've seen since the removal of my primary block and the loss of my top-level augments."       "Noted."       Safe travels, Fairhair.  If you did give me a parting gift, I hope I'm not about to throw it away.       *****       Alep could finally verify the target as he closed, despite the distortion.  His mind was sluggish from the damping needed to properly perceive this unnatural worldline, but his body was not.  His weapons were ready, and he repeated the command for the others to follow--after all the rigors of their voyage, the goal was finally within their grasp.  Baht was shouting something, but the quantum froth stole her meaning.       <Alep!>       <Gem!  Where are you?  You must-->       <No.  Consult your anchor core.  Now.>       <We don't have time! The target will-->       <The target is not here.  Consult your core.>       Could the distortion be that bad?  The damping made it hard to think.  Alep slowed reluctantly, to send the necessary attention inward to his causality anchor core, his safety self.  And found his perceptions shifting as he did.  He stopped, then followed Gem back to a nearby simply-connected space, where Baht waited.  He tasted their concern.       <Another damned echo!> he said.       <Yes,> said Baht.  <Was there self-echoes, too?>       <A self-echo and an entire false target line.>       <At least we know we're in the right domain,> said Gem mordantly.       <This domain is a maze of twisty little worldlines, all subtly different!> said Baht.       <So much looping cannot be natural,> said Alep.  <The inhabitants have weaponized their own worldline topology.>       They were close to the target--and far.  How far was hard to tell.  Causality drift meant they each had to renormalize periodically, assisted by the others.  The return to self was not always smooth, and Alep had waited longer than he now knew was advisable.       <Harnessed it, certainly,> said Gem.  <But weaponized?  I sense more than that, in the patterns.>       <It killed Explorer's Aspect,> said Baht.  <I am certain of it.  She was trying to map the hazard.  She did not lose focus, she kept it too long--until drift and madness finally took her.  The same could happen to us.>       <We should go back,> said Gem.  <This tangle maze cannot possibly propagate over a domain boundary, so it is no threat.  And no parasites will escape either--they would get pulled in and eaten, just like Explorer.>       <No,> said Alep.  <We will follow the probe echoes.  We are not alone--we can assist each other, and endure that long.  When we reach the primary line of the probe eater, we will end it, and return.>       <What there is of us by then,> said Baht.  <We are no longer who we were.  The ages here have changed us.  My own anchor core tastes strange.>       <But you have not lost purpose.>       <No.>       <Good.  We go on.>       *****       Doc looked up from his handcomp as Stella entered the room.  Sunlight streamed in from the windows, and service bots had arranged a selection of food for her if she was hungry for brunch after her flight.  Doc had already eaten.       "How are the Xelians and the Grs'thnk?" he asked.       "Quite well," she said, and sat down across from him.  "Hiri is a proper pessimist--he's been helping with the emergency shelters for the support ships.  They weren't designed for the Moon's gravity, but he knows some tricks to minimize damage from that.  Cheered me up a bit.  But the Grs'thnk Auditors noted the lack of experience of modern Earth nations with definitively ending wars lost by sudden governing authority death."       "Well, Black Swan called attention to that problem in a way that's hard to ignore," said Doc.  "I'm sure the US continuity of government people will have a few questions for me when we finally meet.  DASI said everyone in their working group is taking her prep briefings very seriously, which is an encouraging sign."       "Oh yes.  So.  Have you accepted that you are no longer on the critical path for black hole construction, if you ever were?"       "I have."  Doc looked down, then back up.  "I did a proper psych bias recheck last night."       Stella raised an eyebrow.  "A full one?  You look like you got at least some sleep.  Although--"       "I took everything apart, but I haven't put it all back together yet.  I knew we'd have to go over most of it again, anyway."  He gestured at his cheekbone.  "The bruise is from sparring with robots very early this morning.  That let me sleep afterwards."       "Interesting.  I'd have expected you to go to your workshop."       "I took three steps and already had an idea for a contra-anthropic timeloop-powered deadzone bomb that would be lethal to anything that lives in more than four dimensions from two universes away.  And another one for a hunting portal Journeyman could open for me that would require a black hole to permanently seal to preserve loop consistency with Golden Valkyrie's predictions."       "That seems excessive."       "I doubt I'd actually be able to build it.  But even trying would be a very bad idea.  Self-destructive anger was the good reason for my old cognitive safety block.  Much wiser to go beat up robots for a while instead."       Doc looked down again.  "I think I've done pretty well working with you professionally.  Personally...  'I'm sorry' isn't close to enough.  The entity collective that synchronized my coherent nightmares was, on average, an utter bastard.  I've been finding surprising and unpleasant ways I've let that shape me."       Stella smiled wryly.  "Well, we have time to talk.  A day of unavailability will be politically useful for me.  Ashil's portal work seems to be going well, Flicker and Journeyman are resting, and DASI, Three, and Learning can handle anything else that comes up.  And fixing the problems is more important than fault.  I had personal issues long before we met."       Doc snorted.  "This whole timeline has issues."       Stella looked thoughtful.  "Yes.  But I do find that hunting portal idea of yours interesting."       "Oh?"       "Just thinking about distractions, traps, parasitism, and what Golden Valkyrie did the last time she was pregnant."

Next:  Chapter 42

[gossipnetwork-blog]

When Star Trek Makes You a Star: A Tale of Two Classmates Reaching New Heights With Discovery

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When Star Trek Makes You a Star: A Tale of Two Classmates Reaching New Heights With Discovery

Star Trek: Discovery is a tale of two warring parties, the Starfleet Federation and the Klingons, but behind the scenes there’s a tale of two women, friends from acting school, who are now on the journey of a lifetime together. They may be on opposing sides on screen, but Discovery‘s two Marys—Mary Chieffo, who plays the Klingon L’Rell, and Mary Wiseman, Starfleet Cadet Sylvia Tilly on the series—are friends and classmates from Juilliard who have been catapulted to the final frontier, hand-in-hand.

The Star Trek franchise holds a special place in the hearts of millions of fans worldwide. Everyone has their own Star Trek experience in some form or another. For Chieffo, it was the 2009 reboot movie that ignited her desire to check out the original flicks and experience the TV ensembles. Wiseman grew up with the show on her periphery.

“I wasn’t a Trekkie. I kind of saw some of [Star Trek: The Next Generation] growing up. I have an uncle who is very devoted, he reads all the softcover novels and all of that. As a kid, our tree was covered in spaceships from the Federation and elsewhere, but I personally wasn’t super indoctrinated until I started dating my boyfriend, he and his family are very enthusiastic Trekkies,” Wiseman told E! News. “They go to conventions, and they love that whole lifestyle so, so much.”

Star Trek is a lifestyle for many, so the casting and subsequent premiere of Star Trek: Discovery had more eyeballs than your typical new TV show launch. While Wiseman was aware of how much the show meant to people through firsthand experience, Chieffo, an admitted geek, said she wasn’t fully aware of the world she was stepping into while auditioning.

“It’s one of those things—Star Trek, Star Wars—you get a sense that it’s a global phenomenon and it’s so culturally referenced in so many things. So, I had this sense…It wasn’t until we did the Las Vegas convention this summer that I really started to realize how global it is. And then as the show has aired—you can’t quite comprehend it,” Chieffo said with a laugh. “Just how it’s in so many different countries and so many different people are just affected by it and inspired by it…If I had fully understood, I probably would’ve been a lot more nervous with the whole process. In the same way, with Juilliard, I felt like I couldn’t look at the statistics of getting in fully, or fully think about all of that until after the fact.”

Both Chieffo and Wiseman did not take joining the Star Trek universe for granted.

“There’s just a massive amount of material to sift through. It would just take days and days and days to get through it all. I definitely felt pressure to be well versed. My approach was just to do my best and watch the shows that are recommended and points of interest for me and try to be acclimated that way,” Wiseman said. “But yeah, there’s this huge world. It means so much to people, so you really want to feel like you’ve done your due diligence to understand and honor the material.”

CBS

“I don’t take it lightly because I am a geek,” Chieffo said. “I didn’t grow up with Star Trek like other people did, but I have things that I don’t want people to mess with. So I think that letting them know I am an overly enthusiastic geek who wants to do them justice was a big part of my thing.”

Juilliard didn’t necessarily teach the young actors how to handle the attention that would come with joining a series with such a sprawling fandom, but once aboard the starship Discovery (and the Klingon sarcophagus ship), Wiseman and Chieffo had the guidance of their new peers, both off the show, like American Gods star Yetide Badaki, and their costars on the series, including Sonequa Martin-Green, Jason Isaacs and Anthony Rapp.

“The people who took care of me for this Star Trek universe were the other people on the show who are already part of franchises that have deeply committed fans. So Sonequa’s experience with The Walking Dead, and Jason’s experience with Harry Potter, Anthony’s experience with Rent,��� Wiseman said. “They were really helpful in trying to prepare me for what this world would look like after the show came out.”

Advice came in the form of “don’t read the comments,” Wiseman said with a laugh. They also told her, “That it can be really moving to meet people who are touched by your work. That can be fuel for the work that you do.”

“One thing Sonequa said was, ‘Now you’re a spokesperson for yourself in a way,’ and that’s sort of a paradigm shift from being a private citizen to having to stand behind your work in front of hundreds of thousands of people,” Wiseman added.

Chieffo, whose parents are actors Beth Grant and Michael Chieffo, said in addition to her costars, she picked the brains of her family friends. “I felt like everyone who had experience with it was very open and willing to talk. I also found there were some friends of my parents who had been part of Trek in various forms, and they were more than willing to give their two cents and just kind of acknowledge that it’s this large family,” she said. “I mean, I ran into some of them at the Las Vegas convention, so it is just like one big crazy family.”

And Chieffo and Wiseman had each other.

The two actors were both part of Group 44 at Juilliard. The pair graduated two years ago after appearing in productions where they portrayed sisters and mother and daughter. Neither had any idea the other was cast in Star Trek: Discovery until it was announced by CBS, but once reunited, their shared experience has become a defining one. Chieffo said they were able to decompress about their shared experience at school and grow closer as a result.

“It really has got us together in a such a beautiful new way…And then because it’s such a specific experience with this, with the fandom, with the franchise, and being able to—it’s great to be able to text someone and be like, ‘My outfit [for an event] looks terrible!’…I played Mrs. Webb, I played her mom, in Our Town, we played sisters…I think what’s cool is there’s a sisterly, motherly thing on both sides,” Chieffo said. “I think we’re able to take care of each other at the right time, like when the other person needs it. All of that, which had kind of happened in small moments at school, has just happened more and more here.”

“To get to do something so big and so new with someone who was a friend and someone who I feel like I knew so well, it was just a gift,” Wiseman said. “How often do you get to go through big, scary, exciting experiences in your life with someone who you love and trust like that? It was just incredibly helpful and incredibly grounding. We were able to process our big overwhelming feelings with each other. We haven’t had a scene together, but I feel like we were hand-in-hand through this the whole time, which was so cool. We get to see each other’s journeys in a way that’s meaningful to us.”

Chieffo said watching Wiseman develop the character of Tilly, with the “groundedness and intelligence she brings to what on the page could be perceived as a one-dimensional goofy character,” and the writers get to know Wiseman and writing for her has been “very beautiful” and empowered her to embrace the archetype she’s been given.

“I’ve been really proud of the fact that we’re holding our own in separate camps—Federation, Klingon—we’re getting to build our own relationships on set,” Chieefo said, “and yet we have each other to hold each other’s hands when you need to.”

Star Trek: Discovery‘s fall finale airs Sunday, Nov. 12 at 8:30 p.m. on CBS All Access. New episodes resume on Sunday, Jan. 7, 2018.

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[amycathryn]

28 Things I've Learned as a 1-Year-Old Psychic

Time flies when you're having fun.

I honestly can't believe it's only been a year since I started doing psychic readings. Time really does fly by when you're having fun. 

It all started when I called Gloria Parker. I saw a Facebook ad advertising her facility for rent and for a monthly fair (the Big Psychic Fair). I felt inexplicably drawn to the place and she sounded like a nice person. 

I decided one weekend to check out her psychic fair. Man the energy was intense! The place was very busy and filled with psychics. As someone who comes from suburban Alabama this was new, a little foreign but very exciting for me. I chose to get a reading from a guy upstairs who threw shells. As I walked upstairs I got a strong feeling in the pit of my stomach, as if this place had some sort of significance for me. What kind of significance I couldn't say—but that moment, that place felt important. 

I sat down for my reading, not knowing what to expect. The guy's name was Akinade. Cool dude. Very laid back. His demeanor calmed my nerves. I can't remember the specifics of the reading, but I remember the result: stop waiting for permission to be psychic, and just do it. 

So as any true Aries would, I went downstairs and asked Gloria point blank if I could do readings at her fairs. I knew how to read tarot cards and wanted to try it out. She sized me up and said, "sure honey". So I decided to participate in her fair for the first time in April of 2016. The days between that fair and the next were so agonizing. As a strategist I tried so hard to re-memorize every tarot card and plan for everything I might need.

In spite of all of my planning, when my first client sat down in front of me at the April fair, I was almost terrified. But I managed to give her the message she needed. Every reading after that was a bit easier. Now—it feels like second-nature.

The List

So, even though nothing can really 100% prepare you when you strike out on your own as a psychic—I've decided to come up with a (somewhat satirical) list for those interested. Some of it is funny, some of it a bit weird, but mostly, I've learned so much about myself and who I am supposed to be in this world. 

Everybody's psychic. I even wrote a blog post on it. Psychics aren't special little starfish. If you're drawn to metaphysics in one way or another, it's meant to be in your life. Everybody can be a psychic. Everybody can be a medium.

Ethics, ethics, ethics! I thought it was obvious and easy to determine right from wrong, black from white. It's not. Free will everything in this world, and one must always check themselves to make sure they're ethical and moral in their practice. Otherwise, Karma is a bitch.

Thou shalt not bitch about specific clients.

Thou shalt not have stinky breath in a reading.

Thou shalt not let clients know third-party information unless it's about children in their care or immediate issues with their spouses.

It's OK to turn clients away. This was a biggie and a hard one to learn. Just because they want you to read them, doesn't mean you should. You have a right to say no. Same goes for answering certain questions. Just because they ask, doesn't mean they're entitled to an answer. I don't care if you're paying me or not. I'm not going to go against my morals or ethics to answer a question with bad energy.

Psychics don't (and shouldn't) compete. The people you're meant to help are drawn to you and your energetic frequency.

On that note, don't compare you to another person—especially a psychic—in regards to success. Everybody has a different path, and different timing. Nobody is "late" for what they're supposed to do in life.

Humility breeds virtue. The more I work on my abilities and my spirituality, the more I realize I don't know jack.

Chasing the money will chase it away. Stop worrying about the income and it will flow naturally. Success with the career starts with success in honing one's craft.

If you're meant to be psychic or increase your abilities, it WILL find you. You won't have to do much searching. It found me. It will find you too if you let go of fear.

Everything—and I mean everything—is energy. Thoughts, feelings, events, circumstances, money, people, you name it. It all starts in the spiritual realm and then slowly falls down to manifest in the physical. That's the best way I can describe it.

It is easier to read other people than it is to read myself.

Psychics don't know everything. But they usually know when you're lying to them—and also probably your daddy issues.

I have yet to find the secret to the meaning of the universe, but I have found the secret to the meaning of life. It is this: Basically, don't be a dick.

No, I'm not going to read your mind. But I know a few people who can.

No, I'm not going to read you—or your family—for free.

A good psychic will help empower you in a reading. A bad psychic will try to scare you.

There is a fine line between crazy and psychic. Psychics learned how to discipline the voices in their heads before they ended up schizophrenic. Also pretty sure schizophrenics are psychics who lost control over their abilities.

100% of the time it runs in the family.

There's no such thing as a bad reading. The quality of the reading largely depends on how much the client is willing to listen.

I became better at reading tarot cards when I stopped obsessing over the meaning of the cards and started listening to my guides.

Mediumship isn't nearly as scary as I had originally imagined. There really isn't anything scary about it at all. It's just people. That's it.

With practice, every psychic can be as powerful as the next. Elitism serves nobody. True abilities lies in confidence balanced with humility.

I don't think hell exists. I used to, though. Grew up Pentecostal even. But as I give more and more mediumship readings, I am starting to have a better grasp of the afterlife. I see on occasion some people go to a "decompression" area that reminds me of Purgatory—but for the most part, everyone goes to heaven. Most even try to come back to help on the other side.

Karma is a bitch and she's especially picky with psychics/spiritualists/anyone who practices conscious energy manipulation. The more you advance spiritually, the more you must be in line with morals, ethics and virtues. You can't get away with 'nuthin.

Don't discount or belittle another's spiritual experiences. What may be huge for them may not be a big deal for you—but respect their experiences anyways, because the reverse can also just as easily be true. 

There's a reason Patrick Stewart and Keith Richards look the way they do. We wear our karma on our faces. The nicer you are the more gracefully you (especially your face) age. The more ethical, kind, humble and moral you are, the more your body will gracefully age. The opposite is also true. Wanna get wrinkles on your face really fast? Jude people and talk about them behind their back. Wanna get the body of a 90 year old? Push people to do things they don't want to do (manipulation, coercion or whatever).

You must give energy to indraw energy.

Everyone has angels. Regardless of religion. 

My connection to God, my angels, Jesus, and my guides has only increased exponentially since I began pursuing my spiritual path.

You are loved in such a deep and unfathomable way on the other side, that your human body cannot comprehend it. There is a God. He loves us, and He wants us to love ourselves and love each other.

Heaven is real.