#( will fill in gaps/add wc later when i vibe out this hot cagey homo )

[saintlcss]

⸻ intro post.

full name : frances jane “jude” carrow

pronouns : she / her

age : forty-five (dec. 31st)

time in arcadia: five years

occupation : rancher

orientation: lesbian

aesthetic: abandoned mugs of black coffee going cold, work boots heavy with mud, the smell of earth after rain, the quiet before sunrise, old beer bottles, faded band t-shirts & sentimental possessions in hidden drawers ( pinterest )

content warnings: mentions of drug use, alcohol, addiction, abuse & death !!

Frances Carrow was first dropped on the steps of the orphanage at age three. Like most people, she once had a mother, though they've had enough grace to forget about each other. Eleanore Carrow, still in her teens, was never meant to be a mother. She liked parties, boys with a mean streak and whatever substances took the heartbreak away. She didn't like being stuck with her sickly winter child whose father never called.

Her mother would show up on occasion. All teary-eyed and filled with promises—usually some anguished man in tow. If Frances was lucky, they’d be the sort to drive her around too fast in a flashy car they bought with money they didn’t have. If she was unlucky, well… It didn’t matter, her mother always dumped her back and disappeared for good by the time Frances was thirteen. Strangers brought together by fate had never made them a family. 

St. Jude’s Home for Unfortunate Children was the closest thing to a home she got. Fighting over scraps—food, warmth, attention—knuckles rapped by nuns for talking out of turn, one of the “Saint Jude Kids” to children at school with at least one parent or clothes that actually fit them. It had started there, just a cruel jest at first, served with a shove against the wall, the name from the sign above the dilapidated orphanage building—then it stuck. Jude the left behind. She wouldn't let anyone know anything else about her. She soon learnt how to sharpen her tongue and talk with her fists. There had always been a fine line between freedom and loneliness.

Life was something that happened to other people while she watched. Jude only grew older, sideways. Other people made plans, moved on—she aged out of the system with nothing waiting for her. Her evenings were spent hunched over wires and machinery, a hobby that had started as a distraction, then a way to make money—a never-ending stream of broken radios, farm equipment and new machines to take apart and study. Simpler than people. Maybe she could have been something if she tried. Held something rather than pushed it away. Instead, she finished school and skipped town. No one would think of her. This time she left it behind before it left her. 

Before she found the tree, Jude knew mostly waste. Days, years. Always the same. She worked the land until her muscles burned, sent bitter liquours down her throat until the unbearable edge of the world disappeared. Drinking was the slowest and sickliest death she could conceive of. Rot that grew from the inside. Maybe that’s what sent her on her path.

some facts.

Has not been called 'Frances' since about sixteen. It is her legal name but no one knows her by it. St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes and desperate situations.

Lives alone and likes it. Generally very distrustful of people. Rarely gets involved in whatever is going on, sometimes it takes days for town news to reach her.

Has made the ranch her own after five years as it was initially in a state of disrepair. Most of it is wood collected from the forest. There are areas less open to the townspeople. She has restored the attic and doesn't let anyone go up there.

Collects junk/scraps. Is often making something late into the night. Likes to trade and has varied resources. If someone needs something, she can have a go at making it. A lesser-known fact is she collects lots of things, not just useful objects, Jude studies and catalogues them. She isn't sure what answers she's looking for.

Is a pragmatic rancher but very much likes the animals. Each cow is named after a different nun from her childhood. Jude prefers her animals to most people.

Very self-assured/blunt and does not seek validation from others. Does not, however, see any value in herself. Can often say the wrong thing and will sometimes even regret it. Oops.

Lifelong insomniac/light sleeper. Always on guard. She's not having a good time.

Very butch <33