#( what if xehanort didn't take riku replica and instead just took riku from his second darkest most desperate sora-less time in his life )

[dawnled]

actions speak louder than words / @herocarved !

forehead - sender presses their forehead against receiver's

the last thing he remembered was falling asleep , though not really of his own will ---- the Mansion's basement had long since become a familiar setting , the mechanical beeps & hums almost soothing , the walls so blindingly white it made him wonder if they might eventually purge him of his sins .

from white , into darkness , into---- whatever , wherever , this was ; a dreary , dusty old canyon for which he had barely gathered a name , with people he barely recognised .

The Keyblade Graveyard .

some of the faces he did know , from his time keeping tabs on the Organisation for DiZ - Xemnas , Xigbar , Vexen , Saix , Demyx , Luxord , Larxene , Marluxia - and one , particularly Ansem , he of course knew from his own personal struggles .

but the others -- the others were unfamiliar to him , though one ( a man that the oldest man , xehanort , called 'terra' ) seemed to tickle something at the back of his mind , like a hazy childhood memory .

not that he has time to think about it - he's barely able to find his composure in this strange , new place , completely unknown as to the who's , how's or why's , before it's all replaced with inexplicable pain , so searing hot that it's almost blinding . his heart sears inside his chest , burning as if it's being pulled out of his chest ( maybe it is ) and then the world , once more , turns black .

the next time he wakes , the world feels even more tilted on its axis than before ---- and though it takes him a moment , his stomach drops at the realisation why .

he knows what it's like to be possessed , knows the sensation of powerlessness all too well - he begs , pleads any part of his body to do anything ---- but nothing does , not even an inch . in his dysphoria , he can barely make anything out between his blindfold & the hood raised over top of his head ; but through the dust that's beginning to settle , in the distance he swears he can see----

" sora . "

his lips don't move to say the word , but his inner self does - internally , he's a bit grateful the name doesn't escape him , for he's scared of what voice he might hear if it did - and as he widens his tunnel vision , he sees more ; people he knows , people he doesn't , and is that---- him , too ?

the relief at seeing sora again , alive and seemingly well, is enough to overpower any current confusion - so much so that it feels like his knees are about to buckle , and whoever's in control ( xehanort ? ) even seems startled at having to put a bit more energy into keeping himself upright .

whether or not this is his sora , safe and sound in the future , or some alternate universe where things went differently , riku doesn't know - he vaguely recalls some background chatter of 'vessels', 'guardians', 'Keyblade Wars', though he hadn't been of mind to pay whole attention - and while there's crushing guilt at having left his own sora's side for even a moment , this moment , baffling as it is , also brinegs a little bit of relief .

at least there's some sora , somewhere , who's awake , safe and fighting -- even more relieving , a sora who has a riku right by his side , determination striking in his features .

whether it's because of his lack of comprehension of the situation , or because of his being from a different---- world ? time ? ---- things seem to go by too quickly ; all he remembers is the eldest of their number talking ( " together , we shall unlock the Keyblade War's secrets " ) before the very world itself trembles , giving way to a labyrinth the likes of which riku's never seen .

time passes with simply him , ansem & xigbar , & though neither say a word to him , he can feel both of their eyes on the back of his head even through his hood -- neither of them need to say anything , particularly ansem , for riku to be on full alert , shoulders tense even through the possession .

as if fate abhors him even in this timeline , the Guardian who approaches him is the him of this time ---- though surprisingly , sora's not by his side . something cold , dark & bitter churns in his stomach , though perhaps it's his imagination if xehanort does not let it show , & the battle , cruel as it may be , begins .

he's surprised , when it seems to be mostly ansem & xigbar doing the fighting , as xehanort uses him to watch from a distance -- though eventually , the sora of this time does arrive , just as this time's riku is beginning to tire .

then , does he understand , as ansem bids them farewell - the reason why xehanort had kept him in the wings .

soul eater is a cruel weapon , a reminder of all his misdeeds -- it crackles to life in a shadowy cloud of darkness , and from that and the natural stance his body takes , xehanort's possession or no , realisation seems to click for both of his opponents . their offensive stance suddenly seems conflicted , hesitant , uncertain , as if they don't know how to handle him .

xehanort , of course , takes the opportunity - having spent so long in the shadows of the organisation , trailing their every move while sora slept , riku's swift , nimble , well adapted to the dark . each attack is precise , each block calculated , no matter how much riku internally struggles to stop it .

it's only in a particular flurry of attacks , when one comes perilously close to piercing sora's heart , that desperation fuels him enough to take control -- xehanort's ( his ? ) footing stumbles , and , whether out of instinct or opportunity , sora takes the moment to swap their momentum , flinging him back a few feet , where he stumbles & falls to his knees .

" no ---- ! "

the word escapes him , though whether it's because of him or xehanort , he's unsure -- but he pushes , pushes , and pushes some more , no matter how much , how hard , it hurts him .

you won't use me for this --- ! not again --- !

he's pushed through possession once before - he'll do it again , a thousand times more , if he has to .

anything , to help sora - to get out of this horrendous nightmare , to get back to being by his side .

the struggle becomes more physical , hands clutching at his skull , dragging through the long strands of his hair - it hurts , whether by xehanort's hand or his own , but it at least releases him from the confines of the organisation coat's hood . sunlight reaches through a bit more easily than before , and then suddenly too easily at all - one hand has dragged through to release his blindfold , which catches in between his fingers .

that , if nothing else , seems to be enough to startle this sora and riku both .

he dares not wonder as to what they see , that could shock the two of them so much they would stagger .

" sora . "

that time , he knows , the name does escape him - it hurts to speak it , like he's a parched man in the middle of a desert ( maybe he is ) but also because it feels like sacrilege to do so .

there's the off - side sound of guns , ones he knows to be xigbar's , that he can barely note keeps the other riku busy ---- but sora's staring , staring and staring still , and if riku wasn't so grateful for sora to be looking at him at all , he was sure he'd be shying away , if not flinching away from his gaze . but , so far , keeping eye contact with sora seems to be the only thing helping him to keep control , painful as it is - and it's as searing hot pain flares through him once more , prickling wet at the corners of his eyes , that sora moves .

he runs , faster than riku's ever seen him - he hasn't seen sora do anything , recently , floating peacefully in that pod of his - until he's right by riku's side , skidding to a halt and kneeling right in front of him . his hands hover , mouth slightly parted , like he doesn't know what to do , where to touch , what to say , only that he has to do , say , something .

" sora . "

it's the only word riku finds he can say now , for how he had loathed to say it before - it's quiet , raw , desperate , his silent plea for help as his legs give out , his arms trembling with his effort to stay in control .

" sora . "

help me . i'm sorry . i didn't mean to . i never wanted to hurt you .

and sora knows , because of course he does - and riku knows , because of course he does , too ; he can tell in the gleam of those beautiful starry sky blues that sora knows all he wants to say ---- all the apologies , the pain , and maybe all the heartbreak and love things , too .

sora knows , and he shows it , in how gently he pries riku's hands where they dig stinging crescents into his scalp - his hands are warm , so warm , soft and gentle and kind , as they wrap around his own , and anything of sora had been Too Much , so all of this at once is So Much it's Overwhelming , so much so that riku could cry .

maybe he is , just a little bit - his eyes are burning , prickling at the corners , and he's never allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of sora , of all people , before , but he'd long since told himself that none of that mattered anymore if it meant he got to see sora again , alive and happy and well .

even if he was no longer by his side .

" i know . "

the words are so much of a comfort that riku overflows , more from the fact it's sora's voice than anything else - and then , suddenly , he can't see , delicate , warm fingers brushing through his hair as sora's forehead is pressed to his own .

the fighting has stopped , the outside noise no longer so overstimulating - there's just him and his struggle to keep control , emotions running so high he doesn't think xehanort could take control again even if he wanted to . sora , sora , sora , every part of him sings , so much so that he trembles with it , and oh how he wishes he could stop the tears , if only to see more of sora's face .

" you did good . "

i didn't .

" you protected me . "

did i really ?

" i believe in you . "

that , at the very least , he can believe - if there's anything he knows , it's that sora's always believed in him , even when he didn't deserve it .

it's those words , that little bit of hope , that seem to finally release the hellish shackle on his heart - the world taints black , even beyond the tears , and the darkness takes him , leaving only the phantom warmth of hands upon his skin .

" i believe in you . "

thank you .