#( this is such an old joke but considering how Abe is dead in that ship he's reconsidering his petty ways )

[cabbxges-and-kings]

Abe might be reconsidering being a vengeful poltergeist in the Ben/Mary ship.

Anna or Abe

Send my muse two ( or more ) names for them to honestly admit which one they like the most and why. / @keeperofthelight

Ben glanced downward, shifting a moment before looking up again. Choosing between two friends was always difficult, and yet there could be no mistaking his feelings on this matter.

"I've been friends with Abraham for far longer," he murmured. "Ever since we were in swaddling clothes, our families have been connected...and when my mother passed, it was Abe who stayed up with me that night, just sitting there in silence since he knew what I needed. He was my dearest friend growing up. And in truth, I resented Anna whenever she came along, because suddenly, Abraham's attentions were on her instead of Caleb and myself. I thought we'd lost him forever..." With a slight smile, Ben concluded, "Our trio grew to allow her into our fold, and after a while -- a long while -- I started to realize I cared for Anna, as well. And now I can't imagine life without either one of them."

[kaypeace21]

DID theory part 3: St novels/comics/spotify list analyses

*read part 2  of DID theory-first! You’ll be lost otherwise, seriously XD. First, I’ll say -I find the ST comics/ books as canon as the st movie inspirations . I don’t consider the books/comics ‘literal canon’ (cause they contradict the show ( like Max and billy meeting a year before s2  in runaway max - but meeting as little kids in s3,  or El’s age being wrong in suspicious minds, in the d&D comic Will’s friends instead of him /Jonathan building castle byers, etc) . 

So I think we shouldn’t take it  literally - but more like the st movie lists - filled with foreshadowing/symbolism and other eastereggs (That the Duffers may have told them to add). So here’s some more (possible) alter / DID hints...

‘Suspicious minds’ novel

- Brenner  equates k*lling rabbits to h*rting kids. And he’ll hurt (kid) Kali (the bunny in the analogy) if Terry tries running away from him . I wonder if Lonnie used a similar threat against jonathan? Jon could be giving only a partial truth to why he cried for a week (about the bunny story)?

-Kali “hops” like a bunny then talks about tigers obsessively (linking her to rabbits/tigers similar to the other alters/Will/Lonnie). Terry also imagines tigers and kali says to Alice they can all be tigers together.

- one of the only male psychic experiments (who can see the future) is gay

- Terry is into lord of the rings, like Will. Has her and her boyfriend dress as sam & frodo (m/m ship). Terry calls her and her friends “the fellowship”.

-when Terry/Alice were injected with d**gs -they hallucinated rainbows.yikes.

- Alice (like Lonnie) is a car mechanic. She can see the future like Will the wise and says “monsters of course my mind has them as long as they stayed in there, everything would be alright? Wouldn’t it?” (in her visions she saw the demogorgan).

 (completed) graphic ST novels (by Jody Hozer) so far  (+ other st comics).

*Jody Hozer writes all the graphic novels (every novel is 4 chapters each) - the will byers comic, number 6 comic , into the fire comic, and at the moment she’s writing the d&d series and the summer camp series (which isn’t done yet). Then there’s the occasional 1 chapter st comics not written by her.

- Number 6 has (the ability to foresee the future like Will the wise/Alice) and has an ab*sive dad. 

When having a nightmare of the demogorgan ...she says as she wakes up “screw you dad” (another hint the demogrgan -aka in d&d means ‘deep father’ ...is Lonnie).

- when number 6 and others run they say they’re’ “rabbiting”(which yes technically makes sense but I found such an uncommon phrase odd.)

- The (summer camp and d&d graphic novels aren’t completed yet) but they establish d&d creatures are based off  real life people the boys don’t like in real life. Or that d&d is used as an outlet to explain true events from their pasts -but they just give the true stories a d&d fantasy slant.

- Which brings me to the halloween oneshot(not by Hozer),taking place before s1. Will tells a scary story told to him by Jonathan, and originally told to him by Lonnie. Says the boys have to keep it a secret cause it was something he was never supposed to tell to anyone. Mike says he has to finish the story he started. It’s about a “ch*lld-eater” monster first attacking a boy near the quarry (like where Will was found) and  attacking kids in a library (where Will was also found in s1).When the child sees the sheriff she bangs on the library door begging for help-he ignores her , walks away, and tells the other cops to never speak of what they saw as she screams for help. Because the previous sheriff was in kahoots with the monster. It def had some ... uh questionable imagery too 0_0

The vine in the mouth is also like the one in Will’s mouth (when Joyce found him in the library).And of course Dustin asks whether or not something like that could be covered up.

- In the “bully  comic” (about troy) also not by Jody. We focus on Troy and his ab*sive dad (who encourages him to fight/ditch his best friend). The dad has a drinking problem (gets fired), calls Troy a “mess” , pushes him, and constantly encourages Troy to be vi*lent/macho. He pretty much tries sabotaging the relationship Troy has with his friend (which I could see Lonnie doing in the future with byler).The dad/troy is framed similarly to when Billy gives Max a ride home-  after both ab*sers give bad advice saying not to hang out with their friend (after witnessing them fight in the school parking lot). Dad also laughs about almost k*lling a squirrel (a trait we see troy mimic)- and we see El feel guilty about k*lling a squirrel in s2. At the end of the comic- Troy (like Will) after making up with his bff james- moves leaving his best friend behind.

-  (into the fire) Twins: (one was normal with no powers living in the real world and the twin with fire powers is trapped in a dark sunless “cold” world styled like a psych facility/medieval fantasy) . pics in link.She hated her reflection cause it reminded her of being betrayed by her normal non powered twin who left her behind in the ‘cold’ place. She’d call herself a ‘hunter’ who would defend herself and attack others to never be hurt again. Her powers being unleashed were described like opening “a door.” And she loves her twin deep down and just wants friends . And fire twin goes to the “other side” to reunite with her reflection and find happiness in the real world. *also there’s sunflower/bunny symbols which she lights on fire-which can relate back to Will/Terry/Lonnie etc. The twins = Will & Will the wise (mf)

Mirrors also connect to Will and Will the wise via the canon spotify playlists too.

Will playlist (song: mirror in the bathroom)-Mirror in the bathroom Please talk free.The door is locked -Just you and me.Mirror in the bathroom recompense for all my crimes of self defense.Cures you whisper make no sense!Drift gently into Mental illness.

Demogorgan playlist ( from perspective of Will the wise aka the mf) (song: are you dead yet? )-”polluted soul through a mirror I behold.Throw a punch, shards bleed on the floor. tearing me apart. but I don't care anymore.Should I regret or ask myself are you dead yet?Wake up, don't cry. Regenerate to deny the truth. The fiction you live in blindfolds your eyes. Disclosure, self loathing, this time you've gone too far.Or could it be, my nemesis, that you are me?

(*st ‘into the fire’ comic. the fire powered twin’s thoughts echo the song)

*I think this foreshadows the later plot points of mf (will the wise ) and Will interacting via mirrors. The fire-wielding twin and the non powered twin had a lot of mirror imagery. Including the fire powered twin (Who denies reality/and imagines herself in a fantasy world) punching her reflection because it reminds her of her non-powered twin. Here’s some cover art from the novels showing how much they emphasize mirrors.

*And in s4 movies Black swan - “the black and white swan twins (two halves of the same person-Nina)” had creepy mirror imagery. In long kiss goodnight the women with DID talks to her “ (supposed)dark 1/2″  via a mirror (in a dream).  in ‘the visit’ the teen girl who’s dad abandoned her when young-  refuses to look in the mirror (and it’s never explained why she hates her reflection). So yes I think we’ll see this in s4 or 5. We already see the mf take on the appearance of Billy when talking to him.

- Will in “zombie boy” comic is afraid he’s a monster.

also lets appreciate the lil byler moment of Mike and Will being the only zombies and mike comforting him. honestly , though, the characters were pretty out of character for most of this 1 ch comic (until the end) tbh.

- in the “d&d comic” mf is  (possibly) described as a “protector” (aka like how i said the mf is probably a perpetrator alter- which are misguided protectors).

*update now that it’s finished... hinting Will created everything subconsciously.

‘Runaway Max’ novel (before s3)

(I didn’t get time to read this book unlike ‘suspicious minds’ -so can’t show screen shots of everything others talked about. May read it eventually)

-Max compares Billy  to ‘her monster’ and a ‘shadow’ that will attack anyone that comes close (mf parallel).

- Dart k*lled a cat,  El’s papa tried to force her to k*ll a cat. And Billy when seeing a d*ad cat lights it on fire for a “viking funeral”. A connection to WW (who has fire powers) and El & dart.

-Max and Billy both are into cars and bond over fixing them (similar to Lonnie’s interest in fixing up cars). And since Lonnie tried to brag to Jonathan about fixing a car up and Will is into tech it wouldn’t be a stretch that Lonnie and Will were into fixing cars together (like Max/billy who would hang out at a autoshop in Cali) .  Similar to Will ,max says hanging with Billy wasn’t always so bad- which made things more confusing to her.

- Max compares Billy being beat up by Neil: to ‘punching a pocket of a baseball glove’. This is interesting since this book was pre-s3 which was when they established the connection of billy and his dad to baseball (similar to s1 saying  Lonnie taught Will baseball).

-Billy’s friend is a nice ‘music snob’ . He tries distracting Max with music while Billy is burning the cat. Which reminds me of Jonathan trying to distract Will from their parents fighting in the next room-with music

- Max’s bio dad is a criminal who takes her to shady bars, and Max fears he’d ‘get bored of her’. Max also ran away from her mom to her dad’s 2x.Which reminds me of Jonathan thinking Will ran to Lonnie’s in s1.

-Max mentions how Billy misses his friends after moving out of Cali. And he starts acting even worse-after the move. Which will probably be the case for Will (at least a bit) when moving to California.

-Billy tells Max Neil isn’t his ‘real dad’ either because Neil can’t be a father to anyone.

-Billy also tells Max who (at the time ) is 12 years old not to act “easy” and breaks her best friend’s (Nate’s) arm over  someone joking he was Max’s boyfriend and also cause Nate tried to get in between Billy bullying Max. Eventually all her Cali friends ditch her cause they’re afraid of Billy.And Ugh- why could I see Lonnie doing something like this in the future with Will/his new friends. 

- Creepily Max says Billy doesn’t fool around with her like other girls not because of her age or being family. But cause she wasn’t ‘attractive’. This whole excerpt gave me the heeby jeebies,on so many levels, honestly.  Almost like he’s jealous- and controlling her cause he doesn’t want Max to have any love interests. Maybe i’m just missing the context? But ugh... excerpt:

Will byers secret Files

-Hopper gets scared by a pumpkin-scarecrow. And in Will’s canon journal when talking about the mindflayer and his nightmares draws the same scare-crow , Hopper saw. There’s also a lot of s4-5 foreshadowing in the book... but that’s a post for another day.

Darkness on the edge of town (Hopper novel)

*didn’t get time to read this (except the preview)

 I think it’s more foreshadowing for future seasons though- cult/supposed ritual k*llings, people being wrongly blamed for those crimes-like the hellfire club , most likely.  (similar to the guy number 3 in the number 6 comic)  saint john in the novel also has the same brain control powers as 3- similar to the mf. .” When a blackout plunges the boroughs into chaos, Hopper must escape the the mobs in the streets to make sure his family is safe and stop Saint John from fulfilling his prophecy.” I already talked about here- how the next few seasons would start having more religious symbolism/a future apocalypse (based on what we’ve seen in the show/s4 movies). Although, i think there’s quite a few differences between (the novel’s) saint john and Will the wise. Hopper is also a star wars nerd like the boys (alter hint)

Canon spotify songs (posted after s2/before s3) hinting at DID/ alter /lonnie stuff-

Will  and Will the wise (aka the mf) being an alter

*Used Will and the demogorgan playlist (which i think has perspectives of Will the wise aka the mf, demogorgan, and Lonnie).

Besides the mirror songs previously mentioned...

Will (cold inside)-Doctor the problem's in my chest.My heart feels cold as ice but it's anybody's guess?Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mind. Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mindWell it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside. Darker in the day than the dead of night Cold, cold, cold, cold inside...Counselor give me some advice Tell me how hard will I fall if I live a double life?

El (ghost)-your ghost, the ghost of you.It keeps me awake.My friends had you figured out.Yeah they saw what's inside of you. You tried hiding another you.But your evil was coming through... living in the shade Your cold heart makes my spirit shake.

El (monster Lead me home)-I don't know what, what I was afraid of, I was afraid oooof...Monster take me somewhere...We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.Where there is no place to hide.Stranger on the other side We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.

 The’ innerworld’/  other hints Max, El, Hopper, and Billy are alters of Will’s

Max (Logical song)-I know it sounds absurd. Please tell me who I am, who I am, who I am, who I am?

EL(Buzzcut season)-I remember when your head caught flame It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain ...nothing's wrong when nothing's true. I live in a hologram with you Where all the things that we do for fun . Play along (make-believe it's hyper real) But I live in a hologram with you.

Billy (broken bones)-Broken bones.Stay alone. If I see only what I believe -reality's bound by what I conceive

Max (Why can’t i touch it)-Well, it seems so real.I can see it.And it seems so real-I can feel it.And it seems so real-I can taste it.And it seems so real-I can hear it.So why can't I touch it?

Hopper (breakers)-Just to keep me from losing my mind .It's so easy to drown in the dream.Oh, and everything is not what it seems This life is but a dream.Shatter illusions that hold your spirit down ...From the inside, so it seems.Oh, I'm telling you it's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a It's all a dream.”

Max (comfortably numb)-When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye.I turned to look but it was gone.I cannot put my finger on it now.The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably numb.

Max (Kids aren’t alright)-Still it's hard Hard to see Fragile lives, shattered dreams...What the hell is going on? The cruelest dream, reality.

El(team)-Livin' in ruins of a palace within my dreams. And you know we're on each other's team

Hopper (denial twist) ( just change ‘she’ to ‘he’)-Just because she makes you feel wrong she don't mean to be mean or hurt you on purpose, boy!Take a tip and do yourself a little service...by playing a different role Ya, by playing a different role, oh.The boat ya you know she's rockin' it.And the truth well ya know there's no stoppin' it.So what, somebody left you in a rut and wants to be the one who's in control.But the feeling that you're under can really make you wonder.How the hell she can be so cold?So now you're mad, denying the truth.And it's getting in the wisdom in the back of your tooth

El (the story)-You see the smile that's on my mouth.It's hiding the words that don't come out.And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed.They don't know my head is a mess.No they don't know who I really am.And they don't know what I've been through

El (hero) ( pretty much alludes to El being a construct of Will’s mind similar to his juju zombies in the d&d story he wrote )-Who knows what you'll find when you look inside (billy’s mind)?Haunted beach (billy flashback), roll the dice.The zombies in the corner aren't amused (d&d ref).Play the part of the blushing bride...Out of view, cloaked by night...My spirit dims, but I feel the force"No longer in my hands,"  (loses powers) .I say to you .I could've been a hero, I could've been a zero.Could've been all these thingsI could've been nothing, I could've had something.Could've been all these things.And if I am unable, tell him that I'll try but underneath the table will spin the wheel and hope for gold. Oh, and where it stops, nobody knows.

Max (it’s real)-I don't know who's behind the wheel.Sometimes I feel like I don't know The deal.But when I tell you how I feel-Believe me when I say It's real.I skated on a frozen Sea.It's real as far as I Can see?

Max (Halloween)-Because your role is planned for you there's nothing you can do.

El (White rabbit... alice and wonderland/lonnie ref)-And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall...When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

demogrogan(Dimensions of horror)-Gaze upon the ancient face you dread (lonnie)... Passing through the doors, into Dimensions Of Horror. Haunting visions from the past, rise once more.Realms of darkness, terror, death and gore.Scream in fear, your sanity is lost

demogorgan (SCHORCHED)-Terrorizing madness. Vivid dreams. internal. Hallucinating the unknown. Abstract entities prey.Through superhuman abilities.Fragments of memory erased.

demogrogan (Calling from a dream)-the shadow king...seven spirits (7 ref) Swarming around his head.Close your eyes.Listen to my call. Our bond will bring us together again.I will wait for you. For our hearts still beat as one.Listen to my calling from a dream. (integration?)

 Maybe a coincidence or a hint at Will having both male &female alters?Billy (dude looks like a lady)- What a funky lady...Oh, he was a lady.Dude looks like a lady. Hopper (turn the page)-All the same old cliches,"Is that a woman or a man?" Max ( rebel rebel) (this was on her her pre s3 spotify list + post s3 “wrapped list”)- you got your mother in a whirl, doesn’t know if you’re a boy or girl? 

 SHIT DAD/ AB*SIVE FAMILY

*trigger w*rning ahead for dark themes like s**ual ab*se

demogorgan (my children)My children I never loved them.Why feel that way when their existence is my business?My children...feral vessals of my selfinterest...So don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.Don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.My children they're right behind you My children they're gonna beat you.My children if you let them Oh, oh, my children.

demogorgan (black dahlia-window):  I’m not quoting the lyrics you can just look it up.  it’s messed up.Based on the 1st person pov of Gilles de Rais -k**ler and p*d*rest who also kidnapped a cleric.

Will (creature comfort)-Some boys hate themselves.Spend their lives resenting their fathers... hate their bodies .Stand in the mirror (another mirror ref) and wait for the feedback.Some boys get too much, too much love, too much touch.

Jonathan’s Playlist- We’re happy family: “Eating refried beans (poverty). Gulpin’ down Thorazines (pills for a mood disorder). We ain’t got no friends (s2 ref). Our troubles never end. Daddy likes men. Daddy’s telling LIES.”

Jonathan’s playlist-Enter sandman: “Don’t forget my son. Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight, Exit light, Enter night. Take my hand, we’re off to never-never land. Something’s wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight. Dreams of LIARS and of things that will bite, yeah. Hush little baby don’t say a word, and never mind that noise you heard. It’s just the beasts under your bed, in your closet in your head.”

Jonathan (The killing moon-guy sings this)-So soon you'll take me up in your arms. Too late to beg you or cancel it. Against your will!He will wait until you give yourself to him...In starlit nights I saw you.So cruelly you kissed me... unwillingly mine.

jonathan (haunted)-You and I both know that the house is haunted And you and I both know that the ghost is me. You used to catch me in your bed-sheets just a-rattling your chains.Well back then , it didn't seem so strange...In the midnight hour..I was busy trying to charm that snake. When the sun came up we had no place to hide...You and I both know that the house is haunted  yeah you and I both know that the ghost is YOU! You used to walk around screaming, all slamming all 'dem doors Well I'm all grown up now and I don't scare easy no more But you and I both know.

Hopper (Confession)-Now I'm on the low Confession, to a virgin ghost Admission, force you know.

hopper (Tomorrow ) Yeah, and back when s*x and amph*tamines were the staples of our childhood physique.

Max (Last caress)-I got something to say.I k**led your baby today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as it's de*d.Well I got something to say.I r*ped your mother today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as she spread. (Lonnie pov? Neil?messed up song to be on Max’s list)

hopper House of the rising sun- And my father was a gamblin' man Way down in New Orleans... And the only time he's satisfied Is when he's on a drunk

Max Poor relations-An attitude, no patience, he's paper thin.Talking over everything you have to say...Don't correct the things he said, what's the use?Can't handle violence.Can't handle violence.Learning to love the abuse you can't live without.Your familiar oppression, your daily injustice...That loser man that belongs to you, he's ruling you.

el (sweet dreams are made of this)- Some of them want to use you ...Some of them want to ab*se you.Sweet dreams are made of this...Hold your head up.Keep your head up, movin' on.

Max (Alternative ulster)-They say they're a part of you.And that's not true, you know.They say they've got control of you.And that's a lie, you know.They say you will never Be free, free, free

max In bloom-”Sometimes at night I let it get to me.And last night it had me down and feeling NUMB...And thinking back upon those days Way way back when I was young.I was such a little shit.Cos I was always on the run.Well you know just what they say-Just like father then like son.Don't delude me with your sympathy.Cos I can do this on my own.And this will be the last time-That I break down and wanna crawl to bed. “(since Billy has a playlist I found this song choice being on hers instead of his interesting- in fact almost all of Max’s songs are from the 1st person perspective of a boy unlike the other gals.)

Max (comfortably numb)-The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably NUMB.

hopper (numb)-Honey, here I go again Down that crooked road of sin.My momma locked me out again And hung me high to rust under the rain I am NUMB( 8x)....Little bluebird at my window Sing a pretty song for me Don't you know that you can fly, fly, fly away Don't you know that you can leave I am numb.

other psych songs

Hopper (life of sin)-Every morning when I rise I look in the mirror (another mirror ref) and despise the sight of everything and all that I've become. The level of my medicating some might find intimidating But that's alright cause' it don't bother me none.

 Max (Moon over marin)- “Dive in my scalding wooden tub (connects to mf/el)...There, wasn't that a nice visit?Don't forget, a psychiatrist is on duty twenty-four hours a day in the blue room...Drink plenty of water when you take these.Now you can relax.” ( I wonder if stranger writers saying to “drink plenty of water” is secretly a line said by a psych person in s4?)

Max (Feeling ok)-My doctor says that I should take it -At least I won't have to keep faking.I know, someday I'll find it-Where I, I least expect it.Today I know I feel ok.

Max ( Going gets tough)-.No home since the fire.Me and the ash can't settle down...So I sink another round-Placebo for pain.And there's no one for to blame . I refuse to accept-That my work is all in vain...Still always remembering .When the going gets tough .That the labor of our love-Will reward us soon enough.

 Max (Comfortably numb)-Hello? (Hello? Hello? Hello?)Is there anybody in there?Just nod if you can hear me.Is there anyone home?Come on now-I hear you're feeling down.Well I can ease your pain .Get you on your feet again.Relax // Now I've got that feeling once again.I can't explain . you would not understand.This is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb.I have become comfortably numb //Okay (okay, okay, okay)Just a little pinprick.There'll be no more, ah .But you may feel a little sick.Can you stand up?I do believe it's working, good.That'll keep you going through the show.Come on it's time to go// Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.

Explanations of Why the mf  (WIll the wise)behaves the way he does

demogorgan (ww) (Cowards starved)- friends think of me as a priest.I had to show them that the weakest hands Can still make impressive fires. (aka MF = will the wise)

demogorgan (ww) (Unmerciful):I will be reborn...Tranquil demeanor.Now devoured.Surfacing malice...I can't reconcile the torment others bring unto me.I will not take any reproach.Turning the other cheek.Relentless hatred consumes.Control released.Absolved of all compassion.I am free .Look into my hate filled eyes and tell me What do you see?Surging aura of my rage Paralyzing you in fear.

Demogorgan (ww) (bodies-Beaten why for (why for)?Can't take much more.(Here we go, here we go, here we go).One, nothing wrong with me,Two, nothing wrong with me.Three, nothing wrong with me.Four, nothing wrong with me.One, something's got to give.Two, something's got to give.Three, something's got to give now...You're all by yourself but you're not alone...Driven by hate consumed by fear.

demogrgan (ww)-Orbs used as transmitters carry electromagnetic beams from above (affecting magnetic fields in the show).Silence, manipulated, tortured ...How immune is your system of suffering?Its in the blood of suffering (familial ref).Its in the blood.

 Demogrgan (Monster)-I shoot the lights out..Whoa, just another lonely night...None of who you get it, ain't nobody cold as this.A zombie (will ref) with no conscience .Everybody knows I'm a motherfucking monster. Everybody wanna know what my Achilles' heel is? Love I don't get enough of it.

[theangrypokemaniac]

its fine if you dont like alola but can you not make incest jokes?

I'm not joking. I'm serious.

Alola, or, as I prefer, La Boca del Infierno, ain't all sunshine and smiles as it pretends. Beneath that plastic exterior lies true darkness.

What am I meant to think when I see this?

There's swimming pools bigger than the gene pools down their way!

Although described as 'twins', it's really triplets, but Lana suffers a prematurely ageing growth abnormality.

Children I expect to bear a similarity to their parents, but the moms 'n' dads ain't meant to look like each other!

Everyone here has blue barnets and Inside-Out Eye, where the pupil's the white and the white's the pupil.

Sight defects are notorious in the 'close-knit' communities.

Each insists on hair decoration, but it's almost part of their heads, which you can call bad animation or deformity resulting from too much intermarriage.

Momma's 'thing' just resembles lumps.

It's them space ticks at it again.

Even the hedgehog is round in this house, which may imply he's an illegitimate offspring of one of 'em.

What about inbreeding suggests practitioners won't stoop to even greater infamy?

Stufful's dad never arrived did he?

Funny that, and a bachelor like Oakie-Dokie residing nearby knew nothing about it.

All that bathing in Cuprenol does terrible things to a man.

Ever wondered what'd go down in the marriage of Tweedledum and Tweedledee? Well here you are, yer deviant.

A pair of pudding-faced, gormless Cabbage Patch Dolls, each with snouts, black button eyes and glandular issues, and they don't share DNA even when they do?

Oh yes, Lusamine met a total stranger also possessing her lime pies and effusive mane of unruly, ice-blonde slats.

Total coincidence there.

He came to Alola, he says. On a prison ship.

It's just one head in triplicate!

Oversized an' all: sure sign of genetic tomfoolery.

Dot Nose, Bridge Nose, Fish Eye: bloody serious case we have on our hands.

Now you understand why she failed to remarry: no other brothers cuts yer options ter nil.

Incest is of course, relative.

Whatever dæmon they worship, some are more pious about it than their fellow perverts.

The more dedicated the believer, the greater insistence on keeping things running in the family.

They'll show off their interwoven connections to the neighbours in a smug game of one-upmanship.

The more lapsed follower will tolerate copulation with distant kin.

These sinners are naturally despised and forced into menial labour, whereas the fanatics just so happen to be rolling in wealth.

Consider:

• Lana's family get by on a fisherman's salary, apparently.

Yeah, yeah, as if the state doesn't have to subsidise their medical bills.

• Sophocles don't go hungry, he has a lab, a giant hamster wheel, a portable hologram in a Pikachu, and he's so rich he not only had the roof fixed, but can move down the road in the meantime.

Oi! The rest of us get by putting a bucket under the leak!

• Lillie has every material possession possible, but no spine or company.

Oh the irony that top sickos should be so resistant to the lure of family obligation.

Hey, yer didn't say that earlier!

• Lusamine is fawned upon for her pwehshush research to the extent she can abandon her children, turning her daughter into a nervous wreck and her son a moody, absent drifter, and it's up to them to understand her work comes first.

• Mohn (by name and nature) fannied about with worm holes until he got sucked off by another dimension.

What did yer think would happen?

Yet on his return, is he knocked on his arse as he deserves?

No, because of incest privileges. The in-group take care of their own, and worse.

Mallow's mater and pater both share hair, thick brows and close-together peepers of murky green.

The contrast in noses suggests something lesser than siblings, but then again other differing aspects are forgivable.

She is of a lighter pallor, being dead, and wanting an open coffin, had a shave beforehand, which is a frightening nod to morality.

Woman, are you ashamed of our love?

Well Abe went along with it, thus is also culpable of this grotesque bristle denial.

Being unclean, he's gotta cook the dinner.

And this lot milk the cows.

On the surface, Kiawe's old 'uns aren't identical. You might think some heretical decency has finally sneaked in under the oppressive Alola regime, but it ain't that simple.

These people pray to a volcano as if an earthbound deity, so are nutters.

One aspect you must remember:

Ol' Granpappy the Island Kakuna, i.e. a dried-up chrysalis.

'Cause Pappy got Momma's tufts...

And Dadda's humourless mouth, oblong head, straight-line nose, rectangular eyes and pin pupils.

Well that's not how it's s'posed to go!

I'm thinking Granpappy, as one of them there Kakunas, is in a position of power high enough that he's able to wilfully flaut the laws he imposes on others, like how popes had kids in the Good Old Days and no one took a blind bit o' notice.

He's a rebel I tells yer.

He don't play by the rules.

No sister-wife for him.

Not when he's got a sexy cousin a-waitin'.

A little bit of new blood's crept in, disgracefully so, that's why the whole lot's punished by living near an active volcano.

Surrender 'em to the flames!

Kiawe makes such a big deal about Pappy, and sod the other three grandparents.

Except he only had two!

What is the explanation?

1. Bone-idle writing team.

Character design is foundational stuff. If yer can't even be arsed to do that properly, nothing you do is worthwhile.

I mean, come on, repeating the same model that blatantly?

Halfwits so limited in imagination shouldn't be working in any creative industries.

I blame modern diets.

A whole generation's grown up timid and risk averse because they were taught to fear E. numbers as kids.

I make it a rule to suspect any sod unaware of the joy of a blue tongue.

They've never lived, man!

Where did you think it'll end when dangerous, pretend edibles like houmous, avocados and quinoa replace the wholesome, nourishing fare of biscuits, cake and crisps?

Stop toying with the fundamental principles of the universe!

The mess of the modern era screams systematic abuse of too much kale and not enough sugar.

2. Incest

Alola is extremely insular.

It's implied to be a tourist destination, but no amount of degenerate outside influence appears to have diluted the weird customs it still upholds.

They didn't even think of starting a League until Ash turned up with all his wild exoticism, and why's that?

A. Inbreeding has destroyed their capability for innovation.

B. Many thousands of years ago, Alola got well annoyed its dirty habits weren't exactly catching on as it strove to spread the Satanic message.

Thoroughly confounded in its plans for world conquest, Alola shut itself off in a purification ritual, which is why later developments popular  elsewhere, such as replacing beasts of burden with machines, never caught on.

3. Alola isn't Hawaii, it's a combination of Australia, a penal colony, and Crete, where lived the lepers.

Specifically it's a dumping ground for all the regions' sex offenders to keep their own societies clean.

Of course, the guilty took their nearest and dearest along too, since they were on the receiving end, and loved it.

This explains the large amount of foreign Pokémon, since the owners are also from abroad.

Now I think 'anging's too good for 'em, but these wet-willy countries insist on storing up trouble for themselves, for if cinema has taught us anything, it is that mutants will always escape.

Nature finds a way, however abominable.

Since so many on Tumblr simply love Alola, they aren't about to admit the slightest weakness in the creators' abilities.

Therefore, incest is the acceptable answer to all and sundry.

[smol-scully]

dark grace and frankie (aka dead to me) thoughts

which i will tuck behind a read more for anyone who is avoiding spoilers. this sucker’s gonna cover the whole season so settle in. 

SO SO MUCH can be said about this show on the macro and the micro levels.

we’re all head over heels for the “what” of the story-- realistic depictions of grief!!!! female friendships!!! murky morality!! -- and I’ve seen a lot of love in posts for it so i won’t go into that much. (even though, again, the pilot has such a strange and wonderful queer energy / intimacy, one that resurfaces later especially while Judy may be pregnant, and i am torn between loving this as a gorgeous depiction of female friendship and shipping the hell out of these two disasters. but i don’t have the braincells for that right now.) 

but as much as the “what” is so fucking compelling, I’m finding myself especially gobsmacked by the “how” of this story.

the methods of storytelling, the attention to detail has literally left me bowled over. and there are still details I haven’t been able to figure out; be it what they mean as a symbol, or where they land in the grand scheme of the story. but I see them and I know they were meaningful choices, and I can’t help but be in awe.

1- costuming thing: stripes. in every episode, judy wears stripes — horizontal stripes — at some point. more than most people tend to own in their wardrobe. does it mean anything? maybe not. it’s probably just a style move to have her style be distinct from jen’s, a little more vibrant, a little more carefree. but could it be a nod to the old school striped prison jumpsuits? maybe.

2. story telling thing: everyone’s a liar! we haven’t had a single reliable narrator. which is amazing and reflective of life, but so cool to see reflected to the degree of real life in a story. obviously lying is a huge part of the plot, but it feels like the characters lie outside of the major plot driven ones. 

a. Judy. such an obvious character to note as being unreliable but the most brilliant piece of show writing/story telling for me was Judy’s first scene. Jen warns her off of the coffee, and Judy looks at her with her big sad eyes and says “I made it,” and confesses to the joke after Jen squirms for a second. The first thing she ever says is 1- a lie 2- to break the ice with Jen / make her laugh (!!!!!!!!!). it’s the perfect foreshadowing. we’ve been warned!!!!!! 

b. Jen!!!! obvious example is a lie that we’re in on, or at least let in on pretty easily -- jen tells nick, “ted hates running shoes; he always ran in vans.” no way in hell was a guy who ran in 5ks and 10ks for charity running in skate shoes. (and then this lie is revealed quickly thereafter in that episode.) but the next one, really did throw me, because it felt like a lie we weren’t in on. a lie jen told to us, rather than to another character. it’s in the middle of a TON of shit hitting the fan, but the gun????? charlie wants it, but “oh it’s in your dad’s safe, but I don’t even know the combination.” and maybe it’s because the [chekov’s] revolver doesn’t come around until a couple episodes later, but Judy tells her the truth and she immediately goes for that safe, and starts keeping that gun on her. I knew the gun would come back up, but the knowledge that she was going to be choosing for it to reappear really threw me. Jen’s our main character, and the majority of the plot centers around her being lied to -- but here we get the knowledge that she’s keeping things from us as well. wow. just so impactful. we cannot trust a single bitch. (and i love it) 

c. oh holy shit back to judy -- the follow up that the flashback to her in the hospital was actually her in the hospital after the miscarriage was BRILLIANT on so many levels. especially as a way to make our relationship with her more complex. first of all i got so incredibly sympathetic. FIVE miscarriages? how utterly overwhelming. secondly, it develops judy’s character in two amazing ways. one that acts as foreshadowing, and one that’s just heartbreaking-- 1- she is so bad at being bad, and this sucker (that she killed ted) is gonna bust wide open. why? she sought jen out at this grief group, and faked that her fiance was dead, when she could have instead used the grief over her VERY REAL miscarriages. she added another layer of lying and deceit and jeopardized the whole ordeal early. but if I had to guess, and here comes the  heartbreaking part-- 2- she’s put herself down and been put down so much throughout her relationship with steve and probably because of the accident as well, that she literally just didn’t consider her miscarriages as a valid and real loss to grieve about. 

3. LOVE abe piecing together that Judy did it, AND that he forgave her for it. it was so fucking compelling to see that sweet, kind old man decide that he didn’t care that judy committed manslaughter. such a strange morally gray thing that i wasn’t expecting to see. 

4. the dialogue!!!!!!!!! i fucking LOVE the dialogue in this show. it does such a great job of bringing us above the tempestuous waves of the drama -- and trauma -- buoying us for some laughs amidst the chaos. I also specifically love how natural it feels -- every funny line isn’t necessarily a perfectly articulated joke (the way that many multicam sitcoms get) but rather something you’re laughing at because you could have said it. charlie: bet you didn’t know you let a stalker come and live with us. jen: well, actually i did, so ... (charlie leaves) fuck!!!!! // like what a funny moment that also feels like how i’d react to the fucking chaos. we’re literally just scrambling to fucking hold it together. also i love the amount of profanity, it feels true to the degree of absolute calamity. there’s more to be said about why the dialogue feels so real and good but i just can’t put my finger on it in this moment. 

5. the music!!!! i love the opening credits, there’s some beautiful symbolism behind the letters being the only ‘see through’ part, about how we’re only viewing part of the story / everything is obscured currently. but i also love the balance of music in the show. the [creepy music](?) i think as netflix close captioned it, which is usually behind the credits, contrasted with the peggy lee tunes of the 40′s and 50′s, and then some girl rock at various points too... it’s such a strong factor in how the ambience of the show pivots and changes so thoroughly. at some points we’re just straight up watching grace and frankie (just gals bein pals), sometimes we’re watching bad moms (we smash a cake! we smash a car!!!!!), and sometimes we’re watching big little lies or gone girl (flash backs! dramatic tension!) it’s actually kind of disorienting and surreal but i’ve absolutely loved every minute of it. it felt like three movies wrapped into one. I think i dissociated a little. I literally cannot wait for season 2. 

6. okay fine on the topic of jen/judy i literally cannot believe how softly and tenderly they looked at each other on the bed in the studio when they were waiting for the pregnancy test results, and the forehead touch, and the “we’ll be a three child mothering team” i am *clenches fist* so full of emotion 

[sanjisock]

Fuck, Marry, Kill (or, how Usopp becomes the best matchmaker of the sea without really trying)

ao3

1.

It’s a classic , Usopp said. Any pirate worth their salt would play this at least once , he said.

Sanji would say he’s around eighty-percent sure Usopp just made this game up, but Sanji is always eighty-percent sure Usopp made something up just by principle alone. It certainly doesn’t help Usopp’s case that Nami is grinning wide beside him, notepad and quill in hands.

“So,” Nami echoes Usopp’s earlier question cheerfully, and her smile is way too beautiful and magnificent for the words that come out of her mouth next: “fuck, marry, kill. Who’s your pick?”

+

2.

There are rules to this stupid game. Actual fucking rules . Not even the world government kind, the ones they break on a daily basis anyways because, hey, pirates. These rules are the kind that forces you to pay Nami a hefty amount of Berries if you break them, which, on the deck of Sunny, means nothing short of Serious Business.

Nami had taken to the game with surprising interest as soon as Usopp told her about it, but then again, she talked about it with the same tone she uses when she’s going to swindle a lot of money from an unsuspecting poor fellow (read: Zoro), so maybe this isn’t much of a surprise at all.

The rules, pinned next to the spice cupboard and right under the dishwashing duty roster, are as follows:

A crew member must be picked whenever possible.

Only one name is to be given for each category.

If, and only if, one has come up with a legitimate reason not to pick a crew member, it has to be someone they’ve met, known, or at the very least, heard.

Choices are based on pure objective reasoning and any FUCK/MARRY shall not be interpreted as anything resembling interest or, worse, intention to pursue. This means you, Sanji.

The same applies to KILL. This means you, Zoro.

Individual answers are confidential and worth B500,000/answer, or 10% of your last loot, whichever is higher.*

*) Payments are to be made in cash to Nami.

Really, it shouldn’t have been a surprise at all. Sanji thinks he saw her eyes turn Berries-shaped. He personally thinks she still looks beautiful, and tells her as much.

She tells him this doesn’t excuse him from the game, and expects his answer by the end of the week.

+

3.

Sanji is the first victim by elimination — Chopper is out of the game because he is young, innocent and, ultimately, not human, Zoro is sleeping like the oaf he is, Luffy doesn’t seem to have figured out that the thing below his belt is useful for something other than peeing, and the others have left the ship to explore the newest island they’ve just docked at.

Sanji silently wishes the marines would start attacking them just so they could distract Nami and Usopp from the shitty game.

It’s not that Sanji wants to ruin what is — Nami’s expensive fine notwithstanding — ultimately some harmless fun. Sanji has never had problems going along with the crew’s antics, and between declaring war on the World Government and punching a royalty so hard they call a marine admiral after you, this one is far from outrageous by any means. He doesn’t think it’s physically possible for him to give Nami a no for an answer, either.

It’s just that... he doesn’t actually have an answer.

He’s a romantic person by nature. He likes to make everyone happy, and when that doesn’t work out, he likes to make everyone he gives a shit about happy. He does preen from the more... feminine attention, but between the bustling customers of Baratie, entering and leaving as they please, he never learned how to pick favorites.

Nami points at rule number two.

Usopp suggests he should just pick Zoro for MARRY, because they already fight like an old married couple anyways.

Sanji threatens to put Usopp under KILL and break the fifth rule, exactly in that order. Usopp has enough self preservation instinct to shut up really fast after that.

+

Brook has never heard of the game, which gives more credibility to the Usopp-Made-This-Game-Up Theory, but it’s not like there’s stopping them at this point, so Sanji fumes and glares, but in silence. Usopp smartly stays quiet.

Brook asks if Nami would show him her panties if he puts her under MARRY. Nami clocks him in the skull.

He settles on Zoro for MARRY.

“What,” Sanji says, stunned.

“Well, Zoro-san is a disciplined, reputable swordsman,” Brook explains, “and any decent swordsman would make a responsible husband.”

That...probably makes sense in Swordsman-Speak, or whatever language people like Zoro, who substitutes normal greeting with stabbing and slashing, speak in. Whatever. Sanji is civilized , and will not bother to even try to understand.

Brook can’t name anyone under KILL. He is, however, curious if anyone wants to pick him, considering he’s already dead, yohoho, skull joke!

Nami groans and hits his skull, again.

+

Franky has heard of the game, but he can’t pinpoint where he’s exactly heard it from, and Sanji suspects it’s from Usopp.

Franky also puts Zoro under MARRY. Franky is so not on Sanji’s list of favorite people today.

“Not you too,” Sanji groans, scandalized, because Brook is approximately a billion years old and therefore would understandably consider Zoro’s neanderthal values desirable, but Franky is, like, the future . Cyborgs are essentially sentient robots.

Franky shrugs. “He’s a super dude, his fights make great shanties, he can help me carry the ship materials —”

“ I can help you carry the ship materials,” Sanji interrupts, and wonders how his life has gotten to a point where he’s trying to compete with Zoro for Franky’s hand in marriage.

“ And ,” Franky presses, “he won’t chew me out for burping on the table after dinner.”

Sanji’s eyes twitch at that. Well. In sickness and health, sure, but that? That’s just barbaric.

“He’s a great dude who breaks the Sunny’s railings once a week,” Sanji points out, switching his strategy. If he can’t win, at least Zoro should lose, too.

His strategy backfires as Franky raises his eyebrow at him and asks, “Speaking of, didn’t you break the front railing yesterday?”

Franky puts Sanji on KILL for that.

Sanji considers smashing his feet through the railing again, just because he can.

+

Robin immediately picks Zoro for MARRY, because blah yadda blah bushido code, something something gentlemanly, yeah, yeah. Sanji mentally apologizes for tuning her out, but if he has to listen to beautiful Robin-chan talking about Zoro being a good husband, Sanji won’t be able to resist arguing, and that just won’t do. He isn’t about to question a lady’s decision, however irrational. Nobody’s perfect after all — not even Robin.

She also puts Zoro under KILL for ruining her flower bed last week when he accidentally dropped his oversized training weight (which is unnecessarily huge and totally an overcompensation for something ), and he falls for her all over again. Robin really is perfect.

She then tries to clarify whether normal Franky and Cyborg Franky count as one.

“Uh,” Nami says, confused, “would it even make a difference?”

“Nami,” Robin says as she leans forward, chin in hand and a mysterious smile playing on her lips, “the hands make all the difference.”

Robin puts Cyborg Franky under FUCK. Sanji blinks.

Usopp grimaces.

Nami has a distant look on her face, the kind of expression that guys wear when they witness other guys get hit in the nuts.

They pointedly don’t ask , and back away from the room slowly.

+

4.

The final tally is:

Sanji gets one flattering FUCK (he hasn’t found out from whom, and honestly, considering the available options of Usopp, Luffy and Nami, doesn’t want to take his chances), Robin gets two (Nami shiftily avoids everyone’s eyes for this one), Cyborg Franky gets one (Franky opens his mouth to question the specificity, turns beet red by his own realization, and promptly closes it), and Zoro gets one ( ew , is what Sanji would like to say, but Sanji is man enough to admit that Zoro can get it, considering those abs and deltoids he keeps flashing due to his unexplainable aversions to clothing. Fucking caveman).

Zoro gets a whopping five for MARRY.

That’s literally all the strawhats, minus Luffy (who probably doesn’t even know what marriage is), Chopper, Zoro himself, and Sanji.

What the actual fuck .

+

5.

Sanji succumbs to curiosity and pays Nami his ten percent.

Zoro put Sanji under KILL, he finds out.

It’s not a surprise. Hell, it’s the most predictable thing coming out of this game—the sky is blue, water is wet, and Zoro puts Sanji under KILL. Whatever. Sanji still hasn’t decided on his list quite yet, but he is certain he’d put Zoro under KILL, too.

Nami asks him if he wants to know what Zoro’s FUCK and MARRY are, and Sanji politely declines because he just doesn’t care which random chick Zoro wants to do the deed with and not because the way his stomach clenches oddly at the thought, really . It’s probably that beautiful marine lady that always tags along with Smoker — Tashigi-chan or something. Zoro always acts funny around her, even when the others never noticed. He’s an open book to Sanji like that.

Sanji walks away and doesn’t give it a second thought.

Bastard.

+

6.

He gave it a second thought.

And a third. And a fourth. And damn his shitty traitorous brain to hell, a fifth.

By the time lunch rolls around Zoro and Tashigi are married with a quaint little dojo at the foot of a mountain and blessed with three bespectacled, green-haired children Sanji can’t even bring himself to hate because they’d smile just so when their Uncle Sanji makes their favorite apple pie.

Not that there’s anything to hate. About Zoro and Tashigi-chan, that is. Well, there’s always something to hate about Zoro because he’s Zoro , and Sanji would probably nag him a little for receiving the affections from such a beautiful lady like Tashigi, but there’s absolutely nothing deplorable about the idea in general. They’d get along swimmingly anyways, probably spending hours and hours just talking about shitty swords and other sharp, pointy things as their three children play in their backyard overlooking a beautiful deep blue sea, the setting sun painting a warm backdrop on the wooden walls of their dojo.

He blinks as his train of thought crashes and derails into a nearby mental chasm.

He blinks again, just for good measure.

Holy fucking shit, he has a problem .

+

7.

“Marines!” Usopp yells from the crow’s nest, and Sanji wakes up, eyes still bleary, to three marine ships surrounding Sunny, cannons loaded and aimed towards the deck.

Be careful what you wish for, he feels like telling his past self.

He rushes to the deck to get a clearer view on their enemies, and hell , he’s convinced the universe finds pleasure in finding new ways to fuck him over because he sees Smoker on the helm of the largest marine ship.

And if there’s Smoker, there’s —

“Shit,” Zoro mutters from beside him, and Sanji only needs to follow his gaze to see Tashigi walk up towards the helm to stand beside Smoker. Because of course Zoro would notice her immediately. There are roughly a thousand marines on three of these galleons and she’s the first person Zoro sees. Great. Awesome. That would make a romantic story to tell their three green-haired children.

God damn it. His brain really needs to stop with the children already. He considers going for a check up with Chopper just for this.

A thousand bloodthirsty marines prove to be a good enough distraction from Zoro and Tashigi’s imaginary children, and soon Sanji is lost in the rhythm of the fight, almost enjoying it. He kicks a marine on the back of the head, does a spinning kick to immobilize another ten, and jumps aside to avoid a gunshot —

Only to find himself face to face with Tashigi.

“Black Leg —” Tashigi says, immediately taking a fighting stance, but Sanji is faster.

Before he knows it, he finds himself kicking the two guys guarding her, lifts and drives his right leg on her sword and into the cabin wall right beside her head, effectively pinning her to the wall. Sanji doesn’t kick women, would never harm a woman, but anything around her is fair game and he feels almost guilty for trying to wrestle a loophole in his own principle.

He needs to do this, though. He has to. She’s a marine, his enemy, a threat. And… there’s something he needs to know.

He blurts without thinking, “fuck, marry, kill. Who would you pick?”

Tashigi starts. “What?”

He thinks he’s blushing, but he figures if he wants to avoid embarrassment the ship has sailed a long time ago so he says, “out of the strawhats. If you had to choose, who would you fuck, marry and kill?”

Tashigi narrows her eyes and pulls harder on her sword. “Are you joking, pirate?!”

Sanji is stronger, though. He pushes her sword deeper into the wall. “I’m sorry, mademoiselle, but I don’t joke about this.”

Tashigi wears the expression of someone who wonders what kind of life decisions she’s made that has led her into this situation, which is something Sanji can relate with. “Well, fuck you , pirate. I’d kill you .”

That’s fair, Sanji supposes. “And marry?”

She opens her mouth, stops herself from saying at least three other different curses before turning an interesting shade of red.

She mumbles her answer.

“Yes, Tashigi-chan?”

“Don’t call me Tashigi- chan ,” she snarls, much louder, before muttering again, though Sanji can hear it this time, a low, shy, “well, that swordsman of yours did save my life back in Punk Hazard.”

Tashigi blushes brighter, and Sanji knows a lost cause when he sees one.

Zoro and Tashigi have four children this time in his head, three girls and one boy, and it sucks, so fucking unfair that everyone wants to marry Zoro, with his stupid hair and stupid face and stupid everything. What’s so good about him anyways? The moron doesn’t even have depth perception . He doesn’t deserve all these beautiful girls, wouldn’t even be able to cherish them and treat them with love like Sanji would.

Who’s to say that they would know him either? Zoro’s a moron , after all, and he probably only has, like, three sets of expressions. Sure, Sanji can read his tics, knows the way Zoro clenches and unclenches his left hand when he sees a potentially strong opponents, the way Zoro would rub the back of his neck when he’s embarrassed — but these girls don’t know that. He doesn’t think anyone knows that, and without knowing the real Zoro, how could they make him happy? Would they know how to find him when he gets lost? Would they cook him his favorite food every day? Would they love him as much Sanji does —

Wait.

Sanji pauses.

And.

Breathes.

Tashigi has started protesting now, demanding her swords to be returned now that she’s gone along with his ridiculous demands, but it all sounds so distant now, because.

He loves. Zoro.

Sanji inhales. Then exhales.

He loves Zoro .

He sees it again, the dojo at the foot of a hill overlooking the beautiful blue sea, but this time the dojo belongs to Zoro and him , and two of the four children have blonde hair, and the sea outside is All Blue. The imagination seems so vivid because somewhere along the line that has become his dream , a future he envisioned as clearly as finding All Blue and witnessing Luffy become a Pirate King.

Fuck, he’s in love with Zoro.

“Shit,” he says heartily. “I’m in love with Zoro.”

“What?” Tashigi says, perplexed. Sanji hopes it’s because she can’t hear him amidst the cacophony of gunfire, swords, and bodies hitting the floor.

He lowers his leg and steps back, still in shock by the revelation.

Tashigi is looking at him in confusion, or at least he assumes she does, because he’s no longer paying much attention to his surroundings. How could he, when he’s just come to such a huge revelation about himself, holy fucking hell he’s in love with Zoro —

A passing marine takes the chance and stabs a sword through his lungs.

+

8.

The last thing he remembers is choking on air, mentally laughing at the fucked up irony of living on a ship surrounded by endless seas just to meet his end by drowning on dry land. He thinks he saw flashes of metal, of Zoro’s stupid green hair and stupider face, torn apart between anger and concern, Sanji’s name for once stumbled out of his lips — but Sanji is pretty sure he imagined this last part up. He is a romantic fool like that.

He blinks himself awake to the familiar smell of Chopper’s infirmary, the oddly soothing mix of medicine and sweets. He tries to sit up as far as his bandaged torso would allow, and when he catches the orange of Nami’s hair his heart warms but doesn’t flutter. It hasn’t been, he realizes, for quite some time.

He really is in love with Zoro. God damn it.

“Sanji?” Nami says when their eyes finally meet, and she hurriedly stands up, “oh my god, you’re awake, I need to wake Chopper up, Chopper —”

“Don’t worry, Nami-san,” he says, catching her wrist just in time before she rushes out of his reach, “I’m fine. Let our doctor sleep for some time.”

“But,” she says, but it’s a token resistance at best, as she’s already sitting down again. She tugs his grip lightly at that — a small, playful movement — but he feels the pull reverberate through his arm and to his chest, jarring him into a coughing fit.

He thinks he’s coughed up both of his lungs before a glass of water touches his lips. It takes him a few gulps and a couple more deep breaths before he realizes Nami is rambling a guilty “oh my god, Sanji-kun, oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

He clears his throat and tries to give her his best smile, “please don’t apologize, Nami-san! A beautiful face like yours shall not be marred with unnecessary worries.”

Nami sighs, but it’s fond. “You were unconscious for a whole week,” she says, squeezing his shoulder, “let me fuss over you for a while.”

Sanji whips his head towards her in shock, mouth hanging open

“A week,” he echoes. No wonder he feels so sluggish. He thought it might have been the medicine, but apparently he danced far too near to the grim reaper than he was comfortable with.

His gaze drifts to take in more of the infirmary, afraid that he’s missed more important details like not remembering an entire week of his life . For the most part everything seems to be in place, large shelves filled with Chopper’s neatly-arranged medical books beside his work table, with complicated looking medical appliances situated more at the corner of the room, near the door. His gaze eventually falls on the small bedside table and he does a double take.

Zoro’s katanas — all three of them — are leaning against the foot of the table. Sanji frowns; it’s rare to see them without their owner, and rarer still to see them being parted with so voluntarily, away from the swordsman's sight.

“Yeah, Zoro was here,” Nami answers the unvoiced question as she notices what he’s been staring at, “been by your bedside all week, actually. We had a roster, just in case you —” Nami pauses at that, looks away and — did her voice waver at the end there? “You know. Anyway, didn’t even need the whole roster thing in the end because Zoro just wouldn’t leave. Stubborn man. Just his luck you woke up when he took a bathroom break; serves him right for growling at me when I offered him to switch on the first day. He looked like he was ready to gouge his remaining eye out and leave it in the infirmary if it meant keeping an eye on you, science be damned.”

Sanji blinks, again, at the story. There’s a weird tug at this chest. He lifts his hand up to touch it, and it feels warm, from the inside.

“It’s frankly kind of cute, how he’s been acting like a mother hen,” Nami continues, and her smile gains a mischievous edge as she adds, “or, you know, like a worried husband.”

Sanji wants to say something to that, but Chopper probably gave him some strong stuff because his tongue feels heavy and he can feel the strong pull of sleep dragging him back to unconsciousness.

He sees darkness at the edges of his vision, and doesn’t think at all as he says, “yeah, he would make a good husband,” and eyes already closed, he sees the house at the foot of the hill and mumbles, “I’d marry him.”

Chopper’s medicine really is strong.

+

9.

The next time Sanji opens his eyes, there’s a cottony rasp on the inside of his mouth and dread looming at the back of his mind. It’s reminiscent of days when they partied too hard and he drank one too many glasses of liquor, but worse , because he remembers every single word he said to Nami.

He considers asking Chopper on his stance on euthanasia.

It doesn’t help that the person sitting beside his bed is not the ever-beautiful, ever-wonderful Nami, but the last person he’d rather see after his accidental confession. He has no doubt that Nami has told Zoro everything — has told everyone everything — and while his body has mostly recovered from the injuries, he’s pretty sure he could still die from embarrassment.

He sits up on the bed, scrambling for an excuse, “Zoro —”

“You almost died,” Zoro interrupts before Sanji could even finish his sentence, and takes Sanji’s hand in his. “Don’t you dare do that again, Shit Cook.”

Sanji stares at their hands, and wonders if Chopper’s medicine is even stronger than he thought. “What does it mean to you?”

Zoro shrugs. “You know what,” he answers vaguely.

Sanji doesn’t , though. Zoro shifts in his seat, looking away, seemingly embarrassed by his own words, and Sanji is left wondering what the fuck is happening. Zoro is the type of person who gives brutally honest and oftentimes insensitive answers. He doesn’t give cryptic, vague answers — that’s more of Sanji’s department. “What?”

Zoro pulls his hand away, and Sanji hates how his own hand feels very cold all of a sudden. “You know. Our answers for Usopp’s stupid game.”

Sanji would rather take another sword to the chest than to continue with this conversation, so he does the cowardly thing and practically leaps out of the bed. “I’m not in the mood to talk about that.”

Zoro is faster, though — Sanji is blaming all the medicines in his bloodstream for his slow reaction — and manages to catch Sanji by the wrist. “Where are you going?”

“Away. Out.” He pats his pockets with his free hand, but doesn’t find his cigarettes, unsurprisingly. Fuck, he needs a smoke. “In case you forgot, I haven’t been out for a week from this shitty room.”

“Seriously?” Zoro growls in reply, tightening his grip. “That’s all you got to say? Didn’t you pay for my answers? Nami told me you — if that sea witch is lying again —”

“I told you not to call Nami-san like that,” he replies, almost instinctively, feeling more and more agitated by the turn of the conversation. “What the fuck are you talking about, brainless mosshead.”

Zoro glowers at him, face oddly serious. “Did you or did you not get my answers for the stupid game?”

Sanji is going to lose it. Is Zoro seriously trying to rub this whole thing in his face? The fact that Sanji wants to marry him, even after knowing Zoro only puts him under kill? Knowing that Zoro doesn’t find him desirable in any way, that he’d prefer having three wonderful well-mannered kids with a beautiful marine lady?

“You put me under KILL!” He yells, unable to stop himself. “If this is your way of telling me you want to kill me, drop it. Way too roundabout for your style, Marimo. And just in case you’re wondering, no, I didn’t bother to find out who you want to fuck. Or marry.” He looks away, trying not to choke on his own heart. “Happy?”

Zoro’s eyes widen comically at that, and he loosens his grip on Sanj’s wrist in surprise; Sanji doesn’t miss the chance and kicks him on the chest.

Zoro flies out of the infirmary through the door with a satisfying bang , and Sanji relishes his victory for a moment before growing reluctantly concerned as Zoro doesn’t get up from that. Surely he didn’t kick him that hard, did he? He jogs towards the dust-covered body on the deck, and finds Zoro with his head in his hand, mouth twisting into a hysterical laughter.

“Stupid cook,” Zoro says as soon as Sanji’s close enough to hear him, “are you jealous?”

Sanji growls, and pointedly doesn’t blush. “I’m going to kill you.”

When Zoro drops his hand and looks up, he doesn’t look like he’s making fun of Sanji, though. He looks surprised, and even almost… hopeful? “You are jealous.”

Sanji has about a thousand retorts to that, but all of them die in his lips as Zoro tugs him down by the hand, pulling him to crouch right in front of Zoro. Their faces are really close like this, and Sanji can’t look away.

“Cook,” Zoro says when Sanji doesn’t say anything, “Nami said you put me under your MARRY. Is that true?”

Sanji refuses to answer, but the way he looks away and blushes like a fourteen-year-old is probably a good enough answer for Zoro. Zoro laughs, tightens his grip on Sanji’s wrist and pulls him into a kiss.

Sanji’s life needs to have fewer twists before he dies from heart attack at the tender age of twenty-one.

When they part, Zoro doesn’t lean away; presses their foreheads together instead, his hand large and warm on the nape of Sanji’s neck. There’s a big grin plastered across Zoro’s flushed face, the kind that Sanji only sees whenever the swordsman comes across an alcohol he likes, or wins a particularly hard fight, or — as Sanji begins to understand, heart hammering in his chest like it’s trying to escape — whenever Zoro is really, really happy, apparently. And to think that Sanji is the one who puts that smile on Zoro’s face —

“I put you under MARRY, you dumbass,” Zoro says, though his insult doesn’t carry much weight, considering the stupid grin still wouldn’t leave his face. “Put you under everything , Cook. Kill, fuck, marry — the whole deal. Because that’s how far you’ve messed me up — you idiot, stupid, annoying, oblivious Shit Cook,” he presses another kiss, chaste and light and all too quick, leaving tingling sensations on Sanji’s lips. “I am in love with you.”

The words rattle against Sanji’s ribcage, his heart threatening to burst from his chest. His face feels warm all over, and he’d look away, except for the fact that Zoro’s hands are gently cupping his face, thumb rubbing absentmindedly against Sanji’s cheek.

“You’d make the shittiest husband ever,” Sanji tells him, because Zoro might be the love of his life — and ain’t that a thought that could make his heart miss a couple of beats — but he still wouldn’t miss a chance to tease Zoro.

“Yeah.” Zoro simply agrees at that, laughing softly. “I’d be your shittiest husband, though.”

Sanji doesn’t find a reason to argue with that, heart jackrabbiting against his chest, and simply leans for another kiss.

+

10.

By unanimous decision, and with some heavy censorship by replacing FUCK with SLEEP, they decided that Chopper is at least old and human enough to know what’s going on with the game.

“I’m not happy at all that you decided to finally include me in the game, bastard!” Chopper said with a happy wiggle, his hooves clapping together excitedly.

He puts Zoro under SLEEP. Literally. Chopper thinks Zoro makes a great pillow, and a great sleeping partner because he doesn’t move around.

Chopper purses his lips at MARRY.

“The idea of human marriage is still foreign to me,” he says, explaining his silence, “there are too many factors involved in human marriage. For us reindeers, all we look for in a mate is one who can provide us food.”

As if on cue, Zoro throws a large fish onto the deck. There are three large slashes on its belly, crossing through its gills.

Chopper picks Zoro for MARRY.

Sanji resists the urge to bash his head repeatedly on the ship mast, and doesn’t go through with it only because Zoro leans in and steals a kiss from him, effectively blocking his path.

Bastard. Shittiest husband ever .

[parkminijiminie]

I think Black or White was self-explanatory today, but what did you think about it? What about the party, in general? I'm love your blog

Hey, sweet Anon. Thank you for your love 💙💛😍😘

I first have to say that I applaud Seokjin for his strength and professionalism to participate in the Prom Party in his family’s time of grief and loss. It must have been very hard to do and ARMYs should be really thankful to him.

Overall, I enjoyed the Party a lot, perhaps more than last year. I was surprised by it in a positive way. I didn’t expect this particular units nor their respective performances apart from Ddaeng. I thought we would get a JK+V+Jhope, RM+JM and Sope units as the comeback show suggested. Still, I wasn’t disappointed; I loved their perfomances very much.

Taejin really came for me with “Even if I die it’s you”. I loove the song and have always wanted to hear it live and they did not disappoint in the slightest. Their vocals were impeccable, Jin with his high notes truly mesmerized and of course Tae’s voice was on a different level. It seemed he really enjoyed performing it, the song must hold very special and fond memories for him. Their outfits were totally my style and once again I was reminded just how much chemistry Tae and Jin have while performing as well as in general. They sound and look wonderful together.

Ddaeng left me speechless. The Asian aesthetics in the choice of outfits, the energy of the performance all made me enjoy it tremendously. BTS truly have a superb and very unique rap line. I particularly liked Hoseok’s part as his way of rapping is really different to me. To be fair, I had to watch the performance at least twice because the first time I was so distracted trying to figure out if Namjoon had a shirt (and trying not to die), that I missed half of it. Speaking of Joon, he really came for me in this performance. I felt attacked by him on a new level. Suga of course killed it but that is nothing new, he always does. My favorite part was Tae hopping on stage in the middle of the song. I died laughing. He finally made his dream come true albeit very shortly. It’s one of my most favorite moments.

I really liked the choice of songs. Butterfly and Whalien 52 were awesome. The BT 21 costumes were really cute (Jimin’s little ponytail 😂), Fake love sounded great and I liked that the Encore stage included Best of me and Pied paper as I like both songs and choreographies very much. Particularly funny I found the segment with the members trying to remember their old dances. Jimin was sooo bad, yet so cuutee and Tae was a literal king. The games and skits were very good too. I found them more entertaining this year perhaps due to the fact that each member was playing for himself. It made them more competitive and therefore pettier. Bangtan arguing over who got what right is a whole mood. Truly like a Run episode.

Random little things I loved: Jin’s falling headband during Anpanman; Jimin’s little ballet dance; Tae’s cameo; Tae and Kook plotting against Suga and Hoseok and Jimin turning it around to include all of them; that Minjoon hug 😍😍😍; JM pleading the staff to take down his old photos; Kookie and Tae arguing for Minie’s attention; Jimin leaning on Jk during Butterfly and much more.

Now about The Dance, The Performance, The Black and White Couple.

First, no-one is allowed to say anymore that JM and JK don’t know about the black and white thing. Ofc it’s logical that they would know, especially since there was a Korean article about it, but now it’s painfully obvious. They really are aware of everything, huh. Those little Chick and Bunny onesies were not random too. They just wanted us dead.

Second, their outfits.. God, their outfits. The all black look really suits JK the best as well as the all white is made for JM. Both of them were very sexy, Jimin in a softer, more sultry and delicately seductive way with that choker and Kook in a more raw and aggressive way. Each of them looked the best they’ve ever looked in my opinion and together they were intimidatingly attractive. They were like a cross between a wet fantasy coming to life and a royal couple. If I see them on the street I wouldn’t be able to lift my jaw from the ground to be honest.

The Dance itself was magnificent. The choreography suited their individual styles perfectly and each of them shined. JK’s high kick must be my most favorite move he’s ever done. The moments where they danced together were on another level, that jacket taking off move is something I can’t wait to see in the practice video. The song itself holds a lot of meaning and I’m really glad they chose it. With it’s message being “love transcends differences” I don’t think it was a random decision at all.

All in all, I was very surprised to see them paired up for a third year. I thought that for sure they would switch things around this time but nope. They proved once again that if they have the opportunity they will always choose each other. And why not? They really are something else together. The chemistry they have while performing, be it dancing or singing, is phenomenal. Their voices, dancing styles and personalities go so well together as if they were made for each other. None of them overshadows the other, each shines and compliments the other in creating a masterpiece. Truly, every time it’s just the two of them, I think to myself that it can’t be a coincidence they met. They were meant to find each other even if just to deliver us amazing performances. When the time comes for sub-units, I hope they form one because it would be a total shame if they don’t. They really are that pair: insanely talented, insanely attractive and insanely in-love. Okay, that last one was just a joke. Or was it, really? 

Apart from the dance, there were many other KM moments throughout the Prom Party that I find meaningful. JK openly thirsting over JM’s abs as well as Jimin thanking Jungkook for growing up and showing his body were very funny. That hint of Jinjikook vlive also left me very very excited. I think Jimin being equal parts exasperated and dying of laughter is an accurate representation of the trio’s vlives that we’ve seen so far. Also, Jin complaining of KM always ordering their food for his room is an entertaining glimpse of Bangtan behind the scenes. How often are Jimin and Jungkook together? Are they ever even more than 2 meter away from each other? How many times have they ordered their food to Jin’s room for him to complain about it? And of course, the whole Jikook annoying Jin skit was also very funny as it’s probably very accurate. This is exactly how I think JK and JM are off camera: in their world, doing their own thing and tormenting their hyungs in the process. Particularly heart-warming to me is the moment in which JK oh-so-casually admits that he doesn’t have any secrets from Jimin. The fact that his answer to a member keeping something from JM was immediately and without any thinking “It wasn’t me then” is so telling for the state of their relationship. JK said it so casually, so simply, as if that’s obvious and goes without even mentioning: If it’s a secret, then it automatically isn’t his.

If his doesn’t convince people of how close Jimin and Jungkook are, I don’t know what will.  I don’t think there’s even one person in the world that I don’t have at least a very small secret from and I don’t think that’s a problem. But of course JK and JM will outdo us all and be that couple, the “we tell each other absolutely everything” one who finish each other’s sentences and have at least three nicknames for the oneother. Come to think of it, it’s really not that much of a surprise considering they’re known as Jiminclopedia and Jeonclopedia. They really are putting everyone to shame with their healthy and ever stronger relationship. 

The other also casually delivered curve ball that hit me right at the heart was that “I told Jungkook I would go to the moon with him”. Like, what? WHAT? I’d really really like to know in what context exactly did that came up? I can’t think of even one entirely platonic situation in which I would choose these exact words in a conversation with a friend. Sure, I’d say “I’ll be there for you through everything” or “I’ll support you always, you can count on me” but “I’do go to the moon with you”? That’s such a strong and romantically sounding statement that it is not something you’ll often hear between just friends, let alone bRotHerS. And the meaning of it is so precious: Jimin would follow Jungkook everywhere, he would be there with him in anything and everything, he will not leave his side. Again, it isn’t something we didn’t know but hearing it stated so explicitly and so directly gives it a whole new level of impact. 

Which leads me to my next thought: will we ever know what is the deal with KM and the moon? It obviously holds a significance for them as it’s been mentioned several times now but in what way?

It’ll probably stay a mystery as many other KM things. Which is actually a big part of what I love about them: their relationship has layers upon layers, it deepens in roots and grows in height every year. It’s a beautifully intricate thing, like a century old tree in the beginning of its life or a masterpiece painting yet to be finished. It’s the one “ship” that keeps on giving because it’s not really a ship. It’s two people loving each other thoroughly and continuously in and through time (in whatever way that love knows form). 

[yuri-cocaine]

daughter.

BOOTING SYSTEM…LOADING

SYSTEM DOWNLOAD: COMPLETE VITALS CHECK: COMPLETE NETWORK CONNECTIVITY CHECK: COMPLETE INTERNAL RESONATOR TEMPERATURE: NORMAL ACTIVATING HYPERTUNE RESONATOR BETA V1.0 LAUNCHING LSU SETUP REMAINING HP: 100% REMAINING MP: 100% INITIALIZING UNIT CONNECTION ALL SYSTEMS CHECK: COMPLETE

“Anko?” said the girl. “Is this one of your jokes? What is all this?”

She reached out at the flickering words. Something gripped her lungs; something whispered in her ears.

She breathed in and caught the tang of ceruleum on the roof of her mouth. She couldn’t see. She couldn’t feel. Watercolor world, a familiar voice laughing with malicious glee, magitek burn.

PLEASE ENTER YOUR USER ID AND PASSWORD

Who was that talking to her? Who was that dancing in fiery haze, who was singing at her, who—

-------------------------------------

Kinako awoke with a start in the morning dark. The slash wound in her chest burned with pain, but she sucked in a breath through gritted teeth and staggered to the sliding door. Her daughter was in trouble. She had to go to her.

“Aisling?” Kinako called into the dark house. “Aisling, is that you? Have you finally awoken?”

Kinako remembered Aisling and her magicks rending the earth apart, and she remembered Aisling abed with terrible aether sickness. For a moon her daughter slept, her red hair fading, the color draining from her cheeks. Shiodai tipped porridge down her throat and wove healing spells, but nothing woke her.

Now, Kinako beheld her daughter standing in the doorway, her eyes clouded but slightly shining red. A gust of wind whipped Kinako’s robe about her and cast Aisling’s pale disheveled hair around her head like a halo.

“Aisling, what are you doing?” said Kinako. “You had us all worried sick. Come inside, before you catch cold next.”

Kinako held out a hand and looked into Aisling’s face, but there was something strange about Aisling’s wry smile, the way she stood with her head somewhat tilted and with her hands clasped in front of her. There was something achingly familiar.

“Anko,” said the mother. “Anko, is that you?”

And Anko’s shade, born of the Echo, surviving through the Echo, bid farewell to her mother with her cloned sister’s hand and began to sing.

Shiodai found Kinako asleep in the doorway later that morning and chastised her for leaving her bed. Yomogi joked about it, and Yukimi fixed breakfast for all of them. Mochizou clung to Yomogi and told her about hearing a strange song earlier, and Yomogi told him it was a dream.

Kinako wondered why she chose to bring an extra bag of ill-fitting clothes with her all the way from Eorzea. She picked up Aisling’s katana, and wondered whom this sword belonged too.

-------------------------------------

That night, every sky pirate aboard the Balfonheim mothership docked over Kugane heard a long, echoing scream that changed to beautiful song. Thya Inwa jammed earmuffs on, but the song resonated in her head.

“Breach in the special hold!” she shouted into the linkpearl. The song rose in volume until it drowned out everything else. Her mind blank, Thya froze.

“That’s it! Keep going!” said Anko.

She had gone blind. The moment she left the Naeuri house someone knocked her out and grabbed her. Now she was shut inside another aetherochemical magitek pod, and the incessant robotic voice demanding a user ID and password as well as Anko’s voice in the waking world was driving her insane. The only thing still clear to her was burning points of light she recognized as people’s aether. And now she sang, and the light shone and shivered in response.

Magic flared from her song. It warped and shimmered in the corners of her vision.

“Keep singing!” Anko commanded. One of the technicians lifting the door to Aisling’s magitek pod, now in thrall to the song, blindly obeyed as Anko pointed to the dagger at his hip and then at his throat. He shoved the dagger through his jugular and collapsed, gurgling.

Thya saw the technician fall, and shook herself out of her reverie. Everyone nearest to Aisling were stabbing themselves with knives, pens, whatever they could get their hands on. Thya sprinted from the room and raced down the vestibule.

“Cilia!” Thya banged on a locked door to the only guest cabin on board. “Cilia, what the hells is going on? You didn’t tell me 08 could do…whatever this is!”

A haggard Garlean woman with half her face bandaged opened the door. Cilia, Aisling’s old caretaker and fugitive from Castrum Abania, considered Thya’s thunderous face with a dejected look.

“I suppose this is her Echo manifesting at last,” said Cilia tiredly. “I’ll go to her. Send your men away, Mistress Thya.”

Thya roared orders through her linkpearl, cursing herself at the same time for not knowing this could happen. She bought information of where Aisling was from Yun Khatayin, but Yun never said anything about the Echo, and neither did Cilia. There was at least one man dead and another four injured, and Aisling was still singing.

“Listen up!” said Thya. “If another crewmate dies, we’re calling this off! Evacuate the ship, now!”

“Oh, I think one of the higher ups is still alive,” said Anko’s shade. She stepped over a twitching body. “I think they’re sky pirates. Should we go after them? Ai?”

Cilia strode into the hold, and though Aisling couldn’t see her face, she recognized the presence of her aether at once. The song stopped, and Anko’s shade vanished with it.

“You!” Aisling fumbled for something to use as a weapon. “How are you still alive? Didn’t Sizha’a kill you? The Garleans are behind this after all!”

“03 tried, but it would seem some common sky pirate saved me in hopes of publishing my research and reaping the money earned,” said Cilia. “Put the clipboard down, 08. The imperials have no idea we’re here.”

“I can still kill you with my bare hands,” said Aisling as steadily as she could. Cilia was back. Cilia was here in front of her! The bright-voiced researcher who combed her hair and dressed her up and crooned and cooed over her. The woman who answered her questions about Ala Mhigo and Yanxia with a bored tone an adult might use to answer a child asking stupid questions. Cilia, who left her in the Shroud all alone.

“Please don’t do that just yet,” said Cilia. “The hypertuned prototype augmentation attached to your spine finally activated, I see. Were you in life-threatening danger?”

“Stop pretending to be concerned.”

“But I am concerned,” said Cilia. “Please, be calm and let me help you. I promised to let the Balfonheim pirates take however much my work could earn them in exchange that they find you and let me disconnect your prototype from the main network in Castrum Abania. Now they can’t track you, even if you start using your prototype to continue living.”

08 let her fists fall to her sides. “You mean you freed me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Cilia smiled, and walked over to stroke 08’s hair. 08 slapped Cilia’s hand away and backed against the magitek pod, stumbling over a body on the floor as she did so.

“I guess it’s not appropriate to feel this way, but I’ve always thought of you like a daughter,” said Cilia. “I’m so glad to see you again, 08, and I’m so sorry for leaving you in that savage land alone and without help like that. How can I ever make it up to you?”

She couldn’t believe her ears. She had no words. 08 stood there, trembling, biting down a scream.

“I have a real mother,” she said at last. “And she’s safe from you, and all the Garleans forever when Doma wins her freedom.

“And I’m going to leave now. These sky pirates here have held up their end of the bargain for you. I have nothing to do with you anymore, and I don’t want to see you ever again. I don’t want you anywhere near me.”

PLEASE ENTER YOUR USER ID AND PASSWORD

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” 08 thought for a moment. “How about…Aidea? Aidea. I’ll think of a password later.”

“Idea? Like a big idea?” said Cilia. “Why not just say Aisling as your user ID?”

“No, not idea. Aidea. Aidea Lee.”

“Oh, I see. Ideally.” Cilia smiled. “You’re…very clever, 08.”

“Don’t say that,” Aidea snapped. “And don’t call me 08 ever again.”

She shoved past Cilia and stormed away, leaving her old caretaker to regard the dead on the floor and the hiss of ceruleum alone.

-------------------------------------

Thya removed three earmuffs and tapped her linkpearl. “Yun.”

The answer came at once. “What.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“That is fair.”

[queerwalrus]

Your Laws Do Not Apply To Me

The second Queer Walrus Variation - The Walrus is crewed by old married gay pirates who just want to get James Flint laid - a story in four parts, of which this is part one - read on AO3 here

“Dear Christ, how long has it been exactly?”

Flint frowns over the lip of his ale mug and regards Gates with an expression that’s two parts inscrutable and one part concerned. The midmorning sun is streaming through the windows of Eleanor Guthrie’s tavern, and it makes Flint’s hair look redder and his eyes look greener, and the three members of his crew that he’s been drinking with are all looking at him in utter disbelief.

“Why does that matter to you?” he asks, putting the mug down slowly.

“Because you’re our captain and it sounds like it’s been almost five years since you got laid!” says Gates.

“That’s just - we’re worried about you.” says De Groot. Joji grunts an affirmative, which is about as eloquent as he ever is verbally - Flint’s never known anyone as effective at communicating solely through body language as Joji is.

“I’m fine.” says Flint, and scowls into his ale before he takes a long swig.

“I’m not sure you are.” says Gates. Joji fixes Flint with a particularly focused look that manages to convey ‘you, dear captain, are a lying liar who lies’ more eloquently than any speech by any famous orator, and then takes a swig of his own drink.

“I’m fine.” Flint says, and his voice is more of a growl. He shoves away from the table and crosses to the bar, ostensibly for more alcohol, but plainly just trying to avoid the conversation.

“We need to get him fucked.” says Gates. Joji bangs his tankard on the table a few times to emphasize the point.

“I think he’ll be more at ease with less of a stick up his ass.” says De Groot. “And the men might like him better once he does, considering he refuses to tell them about his Thomas.”

There’s a moment of silence as all three men consider what they know of Flint’s Thomas, an English Lord now apparently dead, in whose name he fought. It was terribly romantic, it was, and if Flint would only tell the rest of the crew they’d never have to worry about a mutiny ever again, but Flint was determined to keep the story to himself.

“If we are to do something for him,” says Gates, quietly, eyes suddenly fixed on where Flint stands at the bar, his back still to the three of them, “who would we even think to ask?”

Joji clears his throat and inclines his head over to another table. Gates and De Groot follow his gaze to a table of three, and De Groot finds himself shaking his head slowly as he eliminates his way down to the man Joji must be referring to.

“You’ve got to be joking.” says Gates, at length.

Joji says ‘I’m not kidding, and tell me you’ve got a better plan’ without ever opening his mouth.

***

“You’ve got to be joking.” says Jack Rackham, staring incredulously at his captain where he is sprawled against the railing of the Ranger.

Charles looks up at him through his lashes with a look that conveys nothing more than his own disappointment in himself.

“Are you trying to get us all killed?”

Charles rolls his eyes.

“I’m not saying I’m going to sleep with him.” says Charles.

“You said that about Eleanor Guthrie, and look where that got us.” says Jack, because it has to be said.

Charles launches himself off the railing and takes a slow and playful swing at Jack’s head that Jack would have had plenty of time to dodge, thank you very much, even if Anne hadn’t caught it. She raises an eyebrow at the two of them without saying anything, and waits for an explanation.

“He wants to fuck Captain Flint.” says Jack.

“I was just noting that he’s attractive.” says Charles, defensive.

Anne looks between the two of them like she can’t believe what she’s hearing, and shakes her head.

“You said you wanted to fuck him!” says Jack.

“By which I meant he’s attractive.” says Charles.

“Sure you did.” says Jack.

“Yes,” says Charles, “I did.”

There’s a pause where they do nothing but glare at each other while Anne finally releases Charles’ fist, and then Charles sighs.

“Fuck you, Jack.” says Charles.

“Well, that's certainly the least dangerous option you've given today.” says Jack.

Anne clears her throat, and they stop sniping at each other to look at her.

“He’d probably be down for it.” she says.

Jack and Charles say ‘what’ in unison, Jack at a frankly alarmingly high pitch and Charles in a way that suggests they should probably start preparing a longboat so he can go back ashore as soon as possible.

“Why on Earth do you think Flint would be interested?” demands Jack.

“I was talking to Joji,” says Anne, fidgeting with the hilt of the knife on her left hip, “and he said that Flint would probably go for it if you went about it the right way.

“What’s the right way, then?” asks Charles, over Jack’s sputtering.

Anne grins, bright and vicious.

***

Flint’s on the first drink of his second visit to the Tavern for the day - although they are well into the evening, so perhaps calling it ‘day’ is a stretch - when he’s accosted by the same three members of his crew he’d been drinking with earlier.

“Let’s open this discussion with the fact that it is all Joji’s fault.” says Gates.

Joji says ‘fuck you’ with his eyebrows.

“What, exactly, is Joji’s fault?” asks Flint. Given the experiences he’s had with his crew, the answer could be anything from ‘we’ve accidentally only bought oranges as the fruit for the food stores and there’s now four barrels in the hold so we hope you like oranges” to “we’ve just killed ten members of someone else’s crew over a literary disagreement”.

“Charles Vane might be under the impression you’d be interested in fucking him.” says De Groot, at about the same speed one might pronounce a tongue twister to prove competence to a teacher.

Flint doesn’t spit his drink across the table, but it’s a close-run thing.

“And how is it that Charles Vane came to that conclusion?” he says, when he’s sure he won’t be spitting rum.

“Joji had a long and apparently fruitful conversation with Anne Bonny.”

Flint contemplates how that conversation must have gone, and finds himself smiling a little.

“And the end result of that is that Charles Vane wants - “ Flint lets the end of the sentence trail into silence, entirely because Charles Vane has just walked into the tavern.

“Well, fuck.” says Gates.

“I’m not going to fuck him.” says Flint, very deliberately not looking at Joji and his really rather accurate ‘sure you’re not going to fuck him’ expression.

“Why? Because of your Thomas?” asks Gates.

“No.” says Flint. “Well, yes, but -”

“Am I interrupting anything important?” asks Vane, propping his hip against the table, right next to Flint’s drink. His shirt is mostly open, and there’s a shit-eating smile on his face. Flint makes a valiant attempt to look at his face rather than his abs and his pecs and fails miserably.

“No.” he says, finally. “No, you’re not interrupting.”

“Can I join you, then?” asks Vane.

“If you would like to, you are welcome.” says Flint. “Though I can’t imagine what would bring you to speak to me.”

Joji makes a remarkably inelegant snorting noise, only to be hushed and hurried away by De Groot and Gates. Vane takes one of the newly vacant seats and leans in towards Flint with a bright grin.

“I think you can imagine plenty well.” Vane tells him. “Do you want me to tell you anyway?”

He maintains the eye contact he has with Flint as he very deliberately drops his hand to Flint’s knee and starts sliding it upwards. Flint catches his wrist just before he reaches what was clearly his goal.

“I think you should tell me, in great and explicit detail,” Flint says, voice low, “as soon as we are in a room with a door that we can lock.”

***

Flint returns to the deck of the Walrus the next morning in one of the last longboats to arrive before their departure, coat folded over his arm and wearing a shirt too large and broad in the shoulders to be his. As a result, the neck of the shirt gapes a little, exposing the dark, mouth-shaped bruise on his collarbone that matched the flushed-pink tiny nips on his neck.

The second he climbs over the rail, Dooley notices.

“The Captain got laid!” he hisses to Muldoon.

Muldoon turns, catches sight of Flint, and gasps, dramatically clutching his hands to his chest like a scandalized society matron.

“The Captain got laid!” says Muldoon, at a considerably louder volume.

The whole crew stops.

“No.” says Logan, dragging out the vowel into a long moan.

“Who?” asks Muldoon, of the crew more than of Flint. “Who on this island would be brave enough to fuck our dearly beloved Captain?”

Flint glares, but it’s half-hearted. It’s clear he’s still rather firmly ensconced in the afterglow.

“Who indeed?” says Logan, always happy to play showman with Muldoon. “Not anyone at the fucking brothel - there’s no men, there - so who, indeed?”

Flint tosses his coat over the top of the wheel and spins on his heel to face the assembly. He raises one hand to shade his eyes, so that he can view all their faces in full detail, and then raises the other with a single finger extended to single out one man.

“Whatever it was you told Anne Bonny,” says Flint, to Joji, “you have my utmost thanks.”

Joji bows, flamboyant and low, with many a twirl of his wrists.

“Hold up, hold up, you fucked Anne Bonny?” says Muldoon.

“No.” says Flint, a small smile teasing around his lips. “Anne just - put in a good word for me, it seems. To her Captain.”

There’s a beat where no one seems willing to say anything, and then -

“YOU FUCKED CHARLES VANE?” screeches Muldoon, and James Flint, in the morning sunlight that brightens every color on the deck of his beloved ship, doubles over laughing.

[remotecontrolchuck]

Toonami Night Review: Double Edition

Since I didn’t get to review the Toonami run that was before last Saturday night’s run, I’m gonna do a double review for both of them. Would’ve gotten this done sooner, but my computer has been acting up lately. Anyway, on with the review!

The week before last Saturday night we had another TOM video game review, this time on Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2. A fitting review considering the double of Dragon Ball we’ve been having. Last night, not much, except for those kick ass Samurai Jack commercials with the sweet synthwave playing in the background.

Now onto the double recap!

Dragon Ball Super: Beerus and Whis have arrived at Bulma’s party, and Vegeta is scared out of his mind. Knowing very well how dangerous it would be to piss off this deity, the Prince of all Saiyans does his best to keep him happy and entertained. 

However, it doesn’t help that humans are irritating in general and are bound to piss off a god one way or another. It also doesn’t help when a certain pink gummy fat ass doesn’t share his goddamn pudding. Damn it Buu!

Of course this causes everyone to attack in retaliation, but almost all of the fighter are defeated easily by the destructive deity, who is soon recognized by Kami Dende (sorry, I mean SUPER Kami Dende). Even Vegeta tries but is pushed down like a chump before Beerus.

But while Vegeta was willing to go down from having fought a deity, a warrior’s death be damned after Beerus slapped Bulma down after being slapped by her, after he had crashed her party. Fairly understandable. Because of seeing his precious Bulma hurt, Vegeta’s goes full Super Saiyan on this deity’s ass.

DBZ Kai: Gohan teaches Goten and Videl to fly, Chi-Chi gets money crazy, and Videl loses the adorable pigtails after cutting her hair short. In the next episode, Videl finally masters flying, the gang gets back together again, and Goku comes back from the grave again to catch up on things.

JJBA: Caesar introduces JoJo to his Hamon Master, Lisa Lisa, who soon puts them through hell by knocking them into a deep pit. Their only way out the Hell Climb Pillar, a mighty tall column covered in oil, and they’re only allowed to use Hamon to get up.

Naturally it takes days for the two to climb it, and they soon almost reach the 20 meter mark, until JoJo accidentally activates a booby trap that causes the pillar to spew oil at a high pressure. Caesar is the first to get past it, using Hamon to repel the oil, while also to stay attached to the pillar.

After Caesar makes it to the top of the pillar, JoJo is the next to get pass the oil barrier. He does so by using Hamon to run across the barrier, where upon reaching its weakest point, flips over it and lands back on the pillar. However, in doing so JoJo is almost out of breath.

Barely holding onto the last meter, JoJo almost falls off before being saved by Caesar, who grabs his hand in time. After Caesar helps him up, JoJo gets furious at Lisa, but soon changes his tune after seeing that the experience has made him stronger.

With the two looking forward to the next part of their training, Lisa Lisa introduces her two servants, the muscular duo Loggins and Messina. So after an ordeal involving lots of oil, now the two are put through the wringer by two buff dudes, oh the jokes that could be made from this.

After a training montage, JoJo and Caesar prepare to complete the final exam. Unfortunately for Joestar, his buff teacher, Loggins, is horribly killed by Erisidisi before the former even arrived. And with the latter’s sudden arrival, the boss battle can begin for the young hamon user.

The two soon fight over a pit of spikes, with the two trying to outwit each other in a fight to the death, between hamon and whatever the hell powers these freaks run on. As they fight, in the distance, Caesar complete’s his final exam against his buff teacher, Messina.

Upon checking on Joestar from high up with his binoculars, Caesar is shocked to discover that Erisidisi has infiltrated the island fortress, and is fighting against JoJo. While unable to help his friend, he and Messina soon depart to protect Lisa Lisa, in case Joestar gets killed by the Pillar Man.

However. It would seem that won’t be the case, as JoJo finally outsmarts the ancient Mayan vampire, and then defeats him with a powerful hamon overdrive. With the Pillar Man seemingly dead, Joestar takes his ring, and drinks the antidote to remove the one around his throat.

After JoJo congratulates himself on his victory and training, he soon takes to check on Lisa Lisa and the others, unaware that Erisidisi still lives as a brain that’s attached to his back!

Gundam Unicorn: Banagher and Full Frontal discuss the oppression of the Spacenoids at Palau, while at the Nahel Argama, Commander Mackle comes up with a plan to get Banagher and the Gundam back. 

Later, Riddhe helps Mineva escape to Earth for some reason, and Banagher and Marida discuss the nature of battle. Afterwards, Banagher secretly gets a message telling him to go to the 14th Space Gate to be rescued or be killed in the upcoming battle.

As the battle of Palau commences, Federation forces begin knocking apart the asteroid colony without any of the civilians getting killed. However, various Zeon mobile suits are destroyed in the battle, as well as some Federation mobile suits.

During the ensuing battle, Banagher finds the Gundam and enters the battlefield, trying to stop the fighting. Of course no one stops, and the young pilot is forced to kill some in self defense. Meanwhile, Riddhe and Mineva take off in the Delta Plus, and run into Banagher during the battle.

After telling Banagher that they’re heading off to Earth, they take off to find more fuel reach there. Banagher begins heading to the Nahel Argama, but is soon intercepted by Marida in her Kshatriya. Banagher tries to reason with her, but the latter is too stubborn to listen, and the two soon fight.

In the distance, Full Frontal monitors their battle, which he had set in motion in order to gain information regarding the location of Laplace’s Box. He had installed devices in the Gundam to intercept any data on Laplace, which could only be gained if the NT-D was activated in battle against another Newtype.

And speaking of the NT-D, during the two’s battle, the device takes control of Banagher and begins piloting the Gundam. Even more, it then releases a strange pulse that takes control of Marida’s funnels, and soon uses them against her relentlessly.

Suberoa becomes amazed and asks how is this possible, to which Full Frontal explains to him the nature of the NT-D device. Of course this makes Suberoa realize that Full Frontal had purposely used Marida as bait, as the latter could care less about the Ple clone, which angers the old Zeon captain.

As the Gundam continued to tear into Kshatriya, Marida gets knocked unconscious. But before Banagher could land the final blow, the psychoframes from their suits resonate, causing the young man to glimpse into Marida’s tragic past. Banagher then stops the Gundam from destroying her mobile suit.

As the NT-D shuts off, Banagher expresses how Marida’s life was too sad, to which the latter replies that kindness doesn’t always save people. Banagher pilots the Gundam, while holding onto the Kshatriya, back to the Nahel Argama as the Federation forces regroup.

Hunter X Hunter: Gon and Killua listen to Ging’s message, who tells Gon that while proud of him becoming a hunter, he’s not interested in seeing him. He goes on to say that he admits being a selfish person, and that if Gon tries to find him, he’ll make it hard for him to do so. 

But despite all that, Gon is nonetheless very much eager to find him. The tape continues with Ging about to discuss about Gon’s mom, but the latter doesn’t care, as he considers his Aunt Mito to be his mother for having raised him his whole life.

However, after stopping the tape, the cassette player is taken over by nen, and it erases Ging’s entire message. Thus, Gon’s mom remains a mystery, and any clues in the tape to find Ging are now lost. With the tape out of the question, the two then look into the memory card for clues that might lead to Ging. 

Upon checking the contents of the memory card, they only find saved data for a game called Greed Island, a game that’s both incredibly rare and expensive. After Killua calls his brother for a favor, they soon have lead on where to find it, at an auction in Yorknew City. 

After gearing up for their journey, the two say goodbye to Aunt Mito and Great Grandma Abe as they leave aboard a ship heading for their destination. Meanwhile, Kurapika learns about nen, and goes on a Ghost Rider like revenge rampage to hunt down the Phantom Troupe.

Naruto Shippuden: Alright, so after Naruto and his team find Hotaru, they escort her to her village and leave her there with her uncle. Unfortunately, her uncle and the entire village sold her out to the bandits, and she barely manages to escape before getting cornered by them again.

However, Hotaru is suddenly saved by Utakata, and soon flies off with him on a magic bubble ride. Meanwhile, Naruto and the gang return to the village after he began having suspicions, which turned out to be true, forcing them to take off and track down Hotaru again.  

After a nice long bubble ride, the two soon find a place to land, and Hotaru once again begs Utakata to take her as a student. After telling her no for nth time, he then asks why she’s so desperate to want him as a master, as well as be determined to protect the scroll.

Hotaru explains to him that it was the final wish of her grandfather, who was also her master. Her grandfather wanted her to protect the forbidden kinjutsu, as he believed that it might one day help restore the Tsuchigumo clan. How a destructive jutsu will do just that I don’t know. But hey, ninja politics and all that.

To further illustrate her point, Hotaru then removes the top part of her robe to show Utakata something on her back, which quickly horrifies the latter. However, their moment is soon interrupted by ANBU from the hidden mist, who capture Hotaru and quickly restrain Utakata with... water tentacles...

... I swear to god, writing these filler summaries feels like I’m writing very lewd sounding stuff at times. 

I mean come on! First were introduced to a busty filler heroine and some bubble based jutsu, and then we’re given this! What’s next? Her stripping down top of her robes again during some sort of satanic like ritual that activates the forbidden jutsu equivalent of an atomic bomb?!

[Reads ahead a few episodes.]

... OH WHAT THE *BEEP*!

Anyway, turns out Utakata had killed his master some time ago, and had been on the run since. But before they can bring him in, one of them is attacked by Naruto, having arrived with the rest of his team behind him. Of course by attacking ninja from another nation, Naruto’s reckless action might have very well incited a war between the hidden leaf and mist villages. 

But hey, being this is Naruto, to hell with asking questions politely! Let’s just start resolving every tense situation by either stabbing the *beep* out of each other with sharp pointy kunai blades, or blasting the hell out of one another with strange ninja powers, because violence never results in huge *beep*-in’ consequences!

Alright, ranting aside, let’s move onto One Piece... oh boy.

One Piece: Pretty much we get to see Brook’s backstory regarding his former merry pirate crew, as well as how he met Laboon. And man I never thought a tragic story about a crew of singing pirate and their baby whale would hit dead center in my feels!

Seriously! First Brook and his former crew are forced to leave behind a sweet innocent baby Laboon, and before they can ever return to the little fella, they’re either killed by jungle viruses or poison arrows! JUNGLE VIRUSES AND POISON ARROWS! WHAT THE HELL MAN?!

And if that wasn’t enough on our feels, before dying they decide to record a song for Laboon, just so they wouldn’t go out with any regrets. And as they sung and played their instruments, the group is soon reduced to a quartet...

... then a trio...

... a duet... 

... and finally to a somber solo.

And as Brook plays the last keys on the piano, the music stops, and the song is over. As expected, he soon revives after death, but as walking talking skeleton. And if THAT wasn’t enough, he’s stranded alone for fifty years on a ghost ship carrying the remains of his long dead pirate family! FIFTY YEARS!

Now, I know that each of the Straw Hats have had some tragic backstories, but my god is Brook’s the most morbid! Forget all the physical pain he must’ve had, the amount of mental scars he has most likely exceeds it! Somebody give this man a glass of milk immediately! As well as a very well earned therapist!

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: In the second episode, Section 9 deals with a renegade tank, controlled by a dead engineer named Kago Takeshi. A man who was once trapped in a frail body, and was never able to transfer his mind into a cyberbody or a cyberbrain due to his family’s beliefs.

Assuming that Kago wants revenge on his parents, Section 9 tries their best to stop the tank from arriving at the Takeshi’s residence, but are unsuccessful. Forced to fight it, the Major short circuits Kago’s cyberbrain, and felt something for a split second before doing so.

While it was assume Kago was out for revenge for how his parents treated him, the Major felt no pride or vengeance from him in that moment. Rather, it was as if he just wanted to show his folks his new steel body. But with the man in question now officially dead, no one will ever no sure.

In the next episode, Section 9 investigates a series of androids committing suicides, and discover all of them being the outdated but still somewhat popular “Jeri” models (Apparently I just learned that I’ve been typing the name wrong this entirely time. It was “Jeri”, not “Geri”).

Upon further investigation, they discover that a virus had been uploaded on almost all the Jeri models when they were brought in for repairs. Apparently one of the androids brought in carried a virus, which was then implanted into the factory’s mainframe, which then spread to the others and became infected.

However, it’s also discovered that the Jeri model that carried the virus was not affected by it, and it’s soon revealed that that android is owned by a son of a Canadian Ambassador named Marshall McLachlan, who’s apparently a huge fan of film director Jean-Luc Godard.

Seriously though, there are so many references to the man’s work in this episode. From Alphaville, to Pierrot le fou, and Breathless. This episode might as well have been an homage to the film maker. But I digress, back to the plot at hand.

Marshall’s motive for the virus is simple, he’s in love with his Jeri android, and considers her a human being. So to make her unique, he decided to destroy all the other Jeri androids out there. Of course this backfires on him completely, but not in the way he had imagined.

While trying to flee with Jeri, the two are soon cornered by Section 9, and Marshall is soon restrained. Not by Section 9 though, but by his beloved Jeri. Ironically, despite his insane attempt to make his Jeri unique, this one was already unique in its own way.

Compared to the other models, this Jeri seemed to function far better than the others, to the point that she seemed to have a mind of her own. But whether or not she was acting on her own free will and developed a “ghost”, or just went by a programmed script, remains to be a matter of debate.

And that’s a wrap! 

Wow, this has got to be the longest review I’ve done yet. And I’m glad I’ve finally finished without any more problems.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing you all again next Saturday night for another great run of Toonami!

Goodnight, and Stay Gold!

P.S. Just a few more weeks, and Jack will be back. Can’t wait!