#( t.sylvain )

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"tomatoes are great, besides... if i think they were made with passion and love, then... i think that is really delicious." maybe it reminded him a little of his mother at home, who loved cooking and baking and never really got to do all that much outside since they lived far up north and a sreng invasion could happen any day or moment. it really wasn't all that safe in hindsight. nobody wanted for her to get hurt or kidnapped or things even worth, but he could feel her love for him when she prepared homemade meals. something he didn't get to taste here, since everything was prepared for countless individuals. if a certain put his all into his and loved doing it, then he was more than happy to devour those cream puffs.

he thought there was something going on behind the scenes, on why the kresniks were so closed off or generally didn't really stick all that much around others or simply kept to themselves, but perhaps, now he understood slightly of what it meant to get involved with them. ludger would die? in just 7 years? why would life be this cruel? he couldn't really believe it, but nobody would tell him such nonsense if it wasn't true. julius was not a big joker to begin with.

"then i guess... i will have to see, that he doesn't push himself any further." sylvain scratched his chin in thought. to seriously pursue someone was new to the red head as well, but he made that choice and his feelings were ultimately rather clear to him as well. he loved ludger and if 7 years was all he had... then he had to make them count.

wow.

"i am still in disbelief but that doesn't change my feelings for ludger and if i can... i don't know, make his life a bit brighter? better? sweeter? for him, then i will try. though it is... regretful to know that he'll leave me again eventually. not of his own will, which might perhaps be even worse..."

Sylvain actually ate the cream puffs without the need for peer pressure. Impressive. "You really do like these," He's stunned, but in the good way. "Appreciating tomatoes' greatness already puts you on a higher floor than other friends my brother's made. I've never met a person I've liked who coincidentally disliked tomatoes."

He'll put the jokes to rest there, allowing Sylvain to take the floor. From what Ludger's told him, both share similar sentiments for the other. Ludger's feelings just sat on a shelf due to their mission and Ludger's condition. Why fate couldn't choose Julius as the 'success' instead, he wished he knew.

"I see why my brother likes you," Julius manages before he steels his resolve. "Yet I'll warn you: getting involved with our family is a risk that could cost you everything." Ludger'll hate him for saying this. But... he must. "And... since I know he won't have the heart to tell you, Ludger has seven years left to live. It could be less now with how much he's pushed himself."

Perhaps it's cruel to drop the truth in such unsubtle terms. Worst still, he can't offer any details beyond this. Unlike the major pieces, he and Ludger are disposable; one slip and nobody will even know to mourn them. Sylvain wouldn't be spared, either.

"If neither warning sways you, then I won't interfere unless there's dire need to. But it'd be cruel to both of you if you pursued this path without knowing the consequences."

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"why would i ever say no to you, sothis?" sylvain chuckled softly. he'd not turn down any woman, he was far too kind but trying to correct his ways was not easy. he still couldn't turn down ladies and he often enjoyed doing things out of spite, to embarrass his father, to rebel against his ways and to show him how much he cared about having this crest which only brought him unwanted attention. it also showed him which lady was honestly interested and which just wanted a fuck from a crest boy.

sothis however, she didn't need a crest, she probably didn't even need a man in her life. she was after all not as human as the rest of the academy. at times he found it hard to put into words, but earthly demands... human desires, did she even have anything like that? maybe she also had been a human before ascending to a higher... plain of existence.

he really didn't know all that much but she seemed to be enjoying herself, especially when she was lifted up, so instead of following the dance routine, he made sure to lift her up a few more times before gently putting her down when the music ended.

"did you enjoy it? if you want... i can do it more often. i mean, you're hardly heavier than a feather."

No, Sothis wouldn’t do that at all. Sylvain doesn’t deserve to be wiped out, especially when he’s done nothing! Nothing at all. If he didn’t want to, she didn’t mind. She knew height difference was a blessing and a curse, it just depended on the situation, such as this. She was about to suggest something, when he nodded.

This tradition dance wasn’t something she was use to, but she wanted to delve a bit into the art. There was something almost intimate dancing with another person for the duration of a song. Touch, being in sync.

Her hands were placed on Sylvain’s arms, a comfortable height rather than try to reach up for his shoulders. She moved with him, her gaze upwards to his face. And - oh! She was lifted! That filled her with delight, and she even laughed! Oh she truly was missing out on this type of dance! “No, ‘s good! If our difference was so drastic, you could have said no, I wouldn’t have minded,” So told him. She’s delighted regardless.

“Can you lift me again, Syl?”

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"if you're thinking right now that it would have been better, if you had been wounded, then please, banish that thought from existence." he could see it on her face, although sylvain supposed after getting to know iris a lot better, he understood where she came from and since she had zero self-worth, of course she would rather end up hurt herself than to end up being a burden to anyone around her. it wasn't like sylvain didn't understand that or why she was like this and it also wasn't like he didn't harbor similar thoughts sometimes, but never would sylvain want for iris to hurt.

it was hard to determine if she wanted him back. she did send out such signals, but he would leave the deciding momentum to iris. if she wanted him, she'd sit comfortably, maybe she'd kiss him. until then he would accommodate her on his lap, simply leaning against the backrest of his bed, head tilted a little. she tensed up, which made him move his arms way, letting them rest on the bed instead. he didn't want for her to feel uncomfortable, thinking sylvain had... things in mind. he did not, in fact.

lying down, he merely looked up at her, figuring it was easier for her to shy away. this way he couldn't overstep any boundary and all initiative lay with iris. listening to her made it once again clear, that this lady had no idea how awfully beautiful she was and it hardly mattered to him where she came from or what she looked like underneath those clothes. that was not important, not when he himself was a poor excuse of a skirt chaser riddled with scars and traumas.

"you're plenty, iris, please don't doubt that. please don't think you're not good enough for me. i am clearly the one that should be concerned." the red head sighed softly, hand reaching up to brush through her long shining blond hair. "i have already decided that i want to be with you. i know you, iris. you're endlessly kind and dedicated. you will not be alone, not now not ever."

╚»★ "...But.." His hand brushing against her face was enough to silence her. If he said she shouldn't feel guilty then, she shouldn't.. right? It was a hard thing to ignore, it should have been her.. no, he'd probably scold her if she said that. Her hands balled up a bit as he tried to make light of the mood with his jokes and playful teasing's.

He meant a lot to her, down to these very little jokes, what reason would she ever have to reject or leave him? She had spent her life feeling like some sort of husk, but he had drawn out whatever little humanity she had left tucked away and made her feel like she was alive again. Not just a toy for people to hurt and blame all their problems on.

Feeling his arms around made her tense, her nerves on edge, even as he moved her to a position that would be easy on his legs. All she could really think about was if he would truly still call her beautiful if he saw her body, just the insecure feelings boiling up inside her. Her body was tainted with many scars entirely unrelated to the war, some so hypertrophic it was if they were practically fresh on her skin. She also wasn't entirely mentally sound herself, granted she had been slowly trying to get better with it.

Though, she was snapped out of her thoughts for a moment when he pulled her down with him when he flopped himself down onto the bed. It was nerve wracking, but she wasn't turning back on this.

"As hard as it is to tell when you're serious or not, you've always to a degree made your intentions clear. However, I have no reason or plans to run from you, after all.. why would I? Frankly.. my biggest fear has always been that the one to leave would be you.. that.. I wouldn't be good enough for you.."

Her hands balled up again, lips pursing as she tried to find the right words.

"I suppose, I'd be making my intentions clear here as well.. am I someone you want to be with? A woman who is scared of the world that ripped many things away from her.. and spends many waking moments afraid that she'd lose you one day too? For she is paranoid that she is destined to be alone?"

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"alright, julius, i will keep that in mind. thank you for offering. please also feel free to only ever call me sylvain." he wasn't fond of his crest or the family relations but they did belong to him. so did his rumors, that he was nothing more than a skirt chaser and julius had probably heard of that as well. that would make things unnecessarily complicated, but even thought sylvain had stopped making out randomly, or even invite others on dates, it didn't mean what everyone knew about sylvain was just going to vanish just because he was properly behaving for a few months.

"oh, don't worry, i would never touch anything there. i have no real... interest getting involved in matters that involve teachers at this academy. i have enough problems of my own already." which didn't just include his relationship to his father, but also to his mother, to dimitri and everyone else. not rarely did he throw himself recklessly into a fight, wondering when his end would arrive. but such thoughts were often on the back burner because he wanted to protect his friend... sylvain only knew things were complicated, in every aspect of his life.

the only one not complicated was ludger, he was sweet and kind.

sylvain didn't even look around much, not interested in what they stored here. maybe it was alcohol? artifacts? didn't matter all that much to him and he was probably better of not knowing.

the red head sat down immediately across of the professor, happily eating more of those cream puffs that had been lovingly prepared by such a wholesome soul. sylvain missed ludger a little, hoping they would see each other again soon, but he needed to convince julius of that as well, right? would he be able to?

"i guess we're friends. i mean, that's what we are but what i would want us to be is probably closer to boyfriends. but... that takes into consideration that he wants that as well. if he doesn't, then i guess i'll go my own way. i would try to be a good friend though. i would still want to keep him safe, even if he isn't interested in me in such a romantic sort of way. i want to respect him and his choices, but stay at his side regardless... that is how i feel."

"My apologies, Sylvain. I often forget to take off my teacher filter," Julius laughs to himself. The teaching life, brief as he's adopted it, settled into his routine almost too well. He's even called Ludger 'Mr. Kresnik' in private a few times. "You can call me Julius as well. Just know in class, that's a Ludger-only feature."

Oh? He didn't need to make the sales pitch? That's a welcome first-- few people are brave enough to take a bite. "I'm glad you've come around to them without me singing their praises. Anyway, the faculty lounge should be empty, so we can talk there. All I ask is please resist the urge to touch anything personal items you see; we teachers are mysterious creatures who like our secrets."

With that warning, Julius leads Sylvain to a locked room just shy of the dining hall. Several items pack the shelves, though most notable is an ominous box off in a corner plastered in 'DO NOT DISTURB' signs. Julius checks it, though he angles the lid so Sylvain couldn't peek. If word about Professor Manuela hid expensive wines in here spread... students might get ideas. Should he get to know Sylvain sometime, he might pop open a bottle to split. Another day.

For now, Julius slides out a chair across from his usual spot so they're not having to twist their necks to look at each other. His bribe sits between them as he takes a cream puff for himself. Always gotta have one.

"To start, what would you say your relationship with Ludger is? I won't judge you for your answer, nor will I tell Ludger if you don't want him knowing, so do speak your mind."

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"oh, uh." well, she was fairly small in comparison and while he knew how to dance, he obviously didn't want to step on her small feet or twirl her in the air and suddenly let go---wait, he was good enough at dancing. but if she happened the become angry, she could also just erase his existence from the surface of this planet. what if not dancing also made her angry?? oh boy. the red head smiled slightly, nodding. yeah, nothing was going to happen, nothing at all. he'd hold her tightly in his embrace...

alright, so she barely reached until his lower chest... the height difference was certainly making this quite the complicated affair. nonetheless did he give it his best effort to not step on her feet, grab her tightly with both hands before also carefully lifting her up to the flow of the music.

"i hope that wasn't too bad, my lady... the slight difference in height is... certainly not easy to overcome."

Soon as they start walking? That certainly was a jump and she wasn’t expecting it. But suppose she should have! Sothis always had been fond of dancing, as it signified merriment - least to her and Nabatean culture. Now she doesn’t know all the details of royalty, as each lands and culture has their own rules and traditions but this little nugget of information was good to know.

“Mm, how interesting! Would you care for a dance, Syl?” Her legs were feeling good today, and she wanted to move. Who to move better than with this redhead? Even though their height difference is more extreme than others ..

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sylvain was once again invited to a private talk with byleth after class, nothing serious, but he was once again called a little too reckless and maybe he had been, but the red head didn't get hurt all that often and hence had grown quite confident, although sylvain also didn't mind getting hurt. as long as it reflected badly on his family, especially his father, sylvain did not mind and maybe even preferred it that way.

but when professor kresnik suddenly stood in front of him, sylvain was almost taken aback. so maybe he had tried flirting with the little brother... maybe he had asked for a date, but to think ludger was being protected like this for his bigger brother... kinda crazy. then again, maybe that was better. sylvain was known as the worst skirt chaser around the academy.

"absolutely, feel free to use my first name, sir." sylvain smiled slightly, tilting his head curiously. 'close friend', huh? that was... what they were? oh boy, the red head nodded nonetheless, walking a little closer. this was probably the better description for sylvain than that perverted shameless lord you shouldn't let near the people you love. "of course we can talk. i'll be happy to snack on those cream puffs. they're just as sweet---" as ludger. "as tomato cream puffs should be."

right, sylvain smiled. he was not supposed to be a shameless idiot.

"i would have said yes anyways, but i would be happy to eat those cream puffs first and foremost. ludger always puts his all into everything he does."

@kriegsveteranen || The final boss to Ludger's heart appears

If the schedule is correct, Mr. Gautier's class with Professor Eisner should be ending shortly, followed by an hour's recess. Julius' next lecture wouldn't be until the afternoon, so if he's going to have this talk, it's got to be now. But would Mr. Gautier be willing, or would he--

The lecture hall door swinging open shelves that thought. He'll just shoot his shot, and he'll try another day should it miss. Julius keeps watch of every head that exits for his mark.

No. No. Still waiting on that paper from you. No... Julius notes all the heads, but none are the right one. Should he check if the infirmary issued a sick note, or-- ah! At the back of the pack, finally!

"Mr. Gautier, might I have a moment?" Julius calls out as he approaches. "Worry not, this isn't Professor Kresnik speaking. Ludger's said a lot about you, and as his older brother, it's my duty to get to know his close friends. Would you be willing to chat with me during your break?"

Though his request also has an incentive: freshly baked tomato cream puffs Ludger packed in his lunch. "You'll get these if you say yes. But I also have emergency precooked meals if you want something with substance."

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"stop feeling guilty just because i couldn't fulfill my duty properly." sylvain gently reached forward to stroke her cheek. there was no need for her to feel any sort of guilt. he hadn't been fast enough, this was his fault and it was his decision to help her and thus end up being injured. it wasn't bad enough to kill him, so he wasn't going to die any time soon. "stop looking at me like this. it's not gonna bring me down on my knees." he chuckled. "i know something else i could do to you on my knees though." he was simply joking, but sylvain had never truly gotten rid of his flirtatious ways. in a way it was also just the truth.

and seeing that she wasn't fighting any of his motions, he gently wrapped both arms around her, his injury halfway forgotten although he was being cautious not to move his leg at all and placed her in a way that did not put a strain on the wound. she was quite light anyways, sylvain had become used to people of dimitri's size by now.

he was surprised to find her arms sneaking around his neck before she kissed him all over again and sylvain very glady returned the gesture, tongue curiously swiping over her upper lip before he let himself fall down on his bed, pulling her with him. "that sounds a lot like a yes, my lady, but i am also very sure that you know my intentions. if you stay, iris, then... you know what i want." he cleared his throat.

"i can't move my legs well, so there's your chance to run away now."

╚»★ Mentally, she's cursing herself out. Even after all this time, was being a healer really all she was good at? She couldn't even protect herself.. so he got hurt because of her, right when he had barely recovered from his last wound.

Her hand flinched just at the touch of his hand trying to stop hers, the guilt was eating away at her just as it had done time and time again whenever she felt she was at fault for something. It was second nature to her.

"You shouldn't be apologizing, it's my fault it even happened.. if anyone should be sorry here, it should be me, for the notion you even had to do that."

It took so much of her willpower just to even lift her head to look him in the eyes, something she would have been afraid to do with anyone otherwise in the past. Iris understood he didn't want to be watched over, but at the same time she couldn't just bring herself to leave him either.

Part of her just wanted to say something, anything really, but instead all she could do was silently stare at him. What could she even say? That she didn't want to leave him alone? He looked conflicted himself, he was trying to be a changed man himself after all.

Though, one could suppose it still bled through now and then, as while his words did take her aback briefly, she refused to budge. In the past she would have easily recoiled her hand in flustered abandon, but now? The words didn't phase her, lest him acting upon them or not determined how true they were. And deep down.. she held affection for him, to a degree she had felt for none before. She yearned to see him, more than she ever knew until now. They say never fall for a skirt-chaser but that's exactly what she ended up doing.

When what felt like mere moments had passed, Iris had reserved herself to the notion nothing would come of it. Oh how wrong she could be.

Without any hesitation, not only had he crashed their lips together in a sudden kiss, a notion that had gotten a soft sound of surprise out of her, but he had also embraced her and swiftly pulled her into his lap, though being mindful of his wound.

To say Iris had been completely caught of guard was an understatement, the adrenaline of the sudden change had made her heart race. Iris had never known intimacy, but if there was more to it.. she wanted it. With her eyes softly closing, Iris would press back into the kiss with a need she never knew possible, her arms draping over his shoulders with the desire to hold him.

Staying the night with him? That was now a yes.