#( she just takes one look at avery and is like )
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
doctorprofessorsong · 2 days ago
Text
I've been waiting to really have some time to type out my thoughts about the Ody3, and now I have managed to sneak away, so here you go.
Doctor Odyssey is not being presented as a love triangle, but instead as a throuple. A basic tenet of polyamory for a lot of people is: one person cannot meet all my emotional and physical needs.
And to be crystal clear, that's also something the show has expressly outlined. The captain said it. Out loud. About a throuple. So it's not like this is unintentional.
With that, here's why this throuple story is balanced and conveying clearly that they each meet separate and important emotional needs (physically they've all said it was awesome so let's assume the sex is good)
Avery - Avery is an interesting character because she is very smart and largely defines herself by academic accomplishments. In fact, she is considering med school but doesn't have a burning need to be a doctor. She just feels like it's what she should do. This wars with her nature to pursue pleasure. She wants to see the world. She isn't interested in settling down. And she has a fear of commitment that stems from being hurt while envisioning a future where she has "fixed" herself and has kids and a spouse. She also froze her eggs, which takes commitment, but didn't say kids as her bucket lost goal.
Tristan - Tristan is all heart. He's touchy and feels deeply and openly and unapologetically. He openly loves, appreciates being wanted, and tbh is a himbo (honorific). He also is terrified of being left because of his mother who love bombed and abandoned him over and over again. He craves something stable while also being absolutely terrified of getting it and either losing it or losing his taste for it. He wants kids but isn’t willing to risk his heart unless he knows his partner is all in on him which is basically an impossibility at the front end of a relationship.
Max - Max is smart and he knows it. He loves learning new things with an enthusiasm most people don't appreciate. But that's both an attribute and a drawback for him because Max hides behind his knowledge when he's scared or hurt. Rather than be vulnerable, he falls into a pattern of professionalism and authority (earned or not). He longs to let his hair down, but stepping out of his self-imposed role is terrifying.
So knowing all that, let's look at them ttogether.
Max and Avery - these two absolutely thrive in an academic or cerebral challenge. They challenge each other and push each other intellectually. They are attracted to the other in part by those sexy brains. But they have no idea how to cross the divide on an emotional level. Avery has no clue how to tease Max out of his rigid walls (something she seems to acknowledge when asking Tristan to help with the throuple idea). And Max also can't figure that out. Also, Max encourages Avery's instinct to define herself by academic achievements (not purposely so much as because they are too alike here)
Max and Tristan - Max and Tristan have similar life goals but it's the way they connect emotionally that is the key to the balance for both characters. Tristan can reach Max, like he did in the mid season finale. He breaks the ice around Max's heart. Max, meanwhile, gives Tristan and stability and maturity he craves. And Max feels like he's a constant. He may retreat behind his walls and rules, but you get the feeling that if he lets that guard down, he would be a steady partner.
Avery and Tristan - these two like each other. They're close. They care about each other. Yet they didn't find a space without Max. I think it's because they are both too prone to having fun (Avery) and running away from commitment (both of them). Tristan has historically held Avery up as an idea while not seeing the person. Avery has either dismissed Tristan or recognized she isn't willing to give him the steady commitment he craves. They are GREAT for each other. They care about each other and support each other and connect so well. But neither of them is in a space where a healthy relationship can form on their own.
When you put them all together, you start to see both how they fulfill certain needs in each other but also how they fill in the gaps. No pairing stands alone. It's unbalanced. But together, they work so well.
Interestingly, we're shown that. They are best when they are together and on the same page. Things feel unbalanced when they aren't on screen together. Even when they work well together one on one, eventually coming together as a triad is like an emotional home base for them.
74 notes · View notes
Note
The sound of a baby crying tore Adams eyes away. He glared at Vaggie and put his axe down.
Adam: You got lucky.
Adam stormed away to check on his daughter.
Lucifer: .... Can I have that back?
Vaggie: Sorry.
She handed it back to him and Lucifer placed it back on his hat.
Lucifer: Look Maggie, just give Charlie some time to cool off okay? It'll take time but it'll be okay.
She nodded but wasn't convinced. Lucifer left to check on Adam and Avery.
Avery needed a bum change and her afternoon bottle. Adam was holding her, rocking her slightly as he fed her and he hummed.
Lucifer: What was that?
Adam: I'm not arguing with you in front of the baby. And it's not my fault Vaggie didn't tell her the truth. I'm always truthful even if it makes people hate me.
In a way he was right, Adam was many things but a liar wasn't one of them.
Adam: And if their relationship is as strong as they think it is they will bounce back from this.
Lucifer: Why didn't you tell me?
Adam: You never asked.
He buried Avery and she snuggled into Adams chest sucking her thumb, looking up with her big golden eyes. He kissed her little forehead.
Lucifer: Could you really beat Maggie?
Adam: Yeah, she might have been my top girl but I trained her like everyone else. I was her commanding officer.
What about an au where Adam goes to Hell for night trips, wher ehe just parties and fucks. He has a disguise (it's just a slightly different looking helmet).
Lucifer joins his daughter and her friends at a bar, where he sees "Adam". He instantly knows it's him, but he's curious as to what he's doing.
So Lucifer spends hours flitting with him and buying him drinks to get him drunk. But Lucifer actually finds himself having a great time.
Long story short- they fuck, Adam doesn't let Lucifer know he's Adam. He goes back to Heaven and after a few months, he finds out he's pregnant.
Which is fucking weird cause he's definitely a dude, and he's very dead. But Lucifer's the Devil 🤷.
He basically has to play it off as him getting fat. It's working until the next meeting with Lucifer happens during his ninth month, and he's goes into labor right in front of Lucifer.
Lucifer: Why didn't you tell me your were fucking pregnant!?
Adam: Because you didn't know it was me!!
Lucifer: Yes I did! You have the same face!
Adam: ..... Oh..
127 notes · View notes
ellecdc · 1 month ago
Text
*chanting* One of Us
request from @redeyesthicthighs : I was thinking about a fox animagus… maybe a slytherin reader, in England red foxes can be seen as more of a pest & reader using the pest title as a way to get away with shit in her animagus form. maybe the boys don’t know it’s an animagus they are seeing high tailing it out of rooms after some disaster has struck but it’s happened now one too many times to be a coincidence
poly!prongsfoot x animagus!reader who is totally one of them [1.2k words]
CW: implied fem!reader, feeding laxatives to birds (is not cool, do not do this)
Tumblr media
“Well,” Lily announced with a sigh as she sat down heavily beside Remus at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, across from James and Sirius, “your little pet was at it again.” 
“Now, that’s no way to talk about Pete, Evans.” Sirius chided, causing Peter to nearly choke on the bite he just took as he made to defend himself. 
“Not him, you sod.” She grumbled, though Sirius could see the ghost of the smirk she was working hard to fight off. “That pesky little fox you guys love so much.”
At this, both Sirius and James froze, the latter letting his fork fall from mid-air and the former placing his cup of pumpkin juice rather forcefully beside his plate.
“She was back!?” They chorused, causing Remus to snort.
“She? How do you know it’s a she?”
“Just a hunch.” James offered with a shrug whilst Sirius grilled Lily.
“Where? When?”
“Here we go…” Remus muttered. 
“The greenhouses. When I got to Herbology, Professor Sprout was chasing it-”
“-her-” James corrected.
“-her out of greenhouse three,” Lily continued, narrowing her eyes at the Head Boy to her Head Girl, “she’d eaten all the shrivelfig fruit, dug up all the knotgrass, and made herself a little nest out of the dittany! It took the whole class period just to help the Professor clean and repot everything.”
And though Sirius could tell Lily was quite perturbed by the whole thing, he couldn’t help the bark of laughter that escaped his lips. “Okay, that’s the fourth time this week alone.”
“Fourth time, what?” Peter asked then.
Sirius and James shared a smirk before turning back to their friends. “The fox is one of us.” James declared.
“One…of us?” Remus asked slowly, clearly not following. 
“She’s a fellow prankster.” Sirius offered simply.
Lily snorted. “I hardly think a fox doing very fox-like things constitutes pranking, boys. They’re known to be pests.”
“You take that back!” James hollered rather suddenly, causing Lily to recoil slightly and Sirius to wrap a comforting arm around his waist in consolation. 
“I think this fox is a little more mischievous than typical foxes.” Sirius clarified. “Earlier this week, she could be found in the library stealing nearly finished essays right out of the hands of Mulciber, Avery, and Snape before tossing the torn up parchment into the fire.” 
“There’s no way that was accidental.” James stated solemnly. “And after Gilderoy Lockhart was heard bragging in the courtyard that he’d snogged nearly half of the school, the fox chased him in circles before she tripped him, causing him to land right in the fountain!”
“Oh, and you should have seen the look on Filch’s face when he found muddy paw prints all over the Trophy Room, right after he’d given some first year Hufflepuff’s detention for “snickering too loudly” - outside, mind you - and made them clean the entire room without magic.” Sirius continued, still rather indignant on the first years’ behalf. 
“Well…ripping parchment, tracking mud, and running around are all typical fox behaviours.” Peter tried, but both Lily and Remus hummed thoughtfully. 
“No, no…I think you’re right, James.” Remus offered, looking at James pointedly. “I think you’re absolutely right, she is ‘one of us’.” 
Tumblr media
Padfoot did his best to hold his breath when he heard movement in the greenhouses, recognizing that the noise wasn't coming from where he’d left James under the invisibility cloak. 
Sure enough, after the sounds of snuffling and foliage rustling ceased, a small red fox popped out between two large bushes. 
An excited yip left her mouth as she hopped up onto the workbenches, carefully tiptoeing - if foxes could even do such a thing - around everyone’s pots until she made it to McLaggen’s workbench, knocking the pots clean off before they fell with a shatter to the stone floor, terracotta splintering and soil spilling out of them as the fox looked over the edge to appreciate her handiwork.  
Padfoot took that moment to step out from his hiding spot, making it almost right under the foxes nose before she happened to notice that she wasn’t alone. She arched her back not unlike a Halloween cat and made some sort of breathy spitting sound before she spun on the spot and made to launch herself off of the table in the opposite direction.
Unfortunately for her, James had been standing on the other side of the bench waiting for her to do just that, catching the fox in a throw blanket from their dorm and wrapping it tightly around her. 
“Easy, easy. Oi! You’re fine!” James placated, wrestling with the fumbling ball of linen before arranging it so the foxes body remained snuggly in the blanket but her head poked out. “No biting.”
James flinched at a snap of her jaw, though Padfoot noticed she didn’t even try to reach for the hand that was currently holding the blanket shut which was well within her reach - she didn’t actually want to bite him. 
Padfoot shifted back into Sirius and leaned his elbows against the workbench. “You’ve been giving us a run for our money with the mischief.” He commented, causing the fox’s head to whip towards him where her eyes narrowed comically. “I’d say I’m miffed but, I hate lying.”
If foxes could scoff, this one just did. 
“The jig is up, L/N.” James whispered, causing the fox to return her attention back to James as she stared at him incredulously, Sirius’ lips twisting into a smirk. James had been hiding under the invisibility cloak with the map as they waited…he’d seen exactly who it was that was sneaking into the greenhouse. 
“Don’t worry,” Sirius called over to gain your attention, “your secret is safe with us.” And to punctuate his point, he spun on the spot to turn back into Padfoot to prove that - Remus had been right - you were one of them.
You let out what had to be a sigh as you went no bones in James’ hold - clearly in capitulation - as he released you from your blanketed prison and placed you back onto the workbench. 
You melted back into your human form, sitting prettily on the edge of the table with your legs crossed looking casual for all intents and purposes as you looked between James and what was now once again Sirius. 
“Why foil my fun just to promise not to tell?” You asked sceptically. 
“Oh, you misunderstand, gorgeous,” Sirius drawled, relishing in the way your burning gaze narrowed at his endearment (or for insinuating you’d been wrong about something, Sirius wasn’t sure), “we don’t want to foil your fun at all.”
“We want in.” James explained, a wicked glint in his eye (that never failed to turn Sirius on) as he smiled at you.
And that's how the following day, one could find a fox and large black dog near the Black Lake herding a flock of seagulls - that had just feasted on chips dusted with heavy amounts of fibre - towards a group of unsuspecting fifth years who had just destroyed some first years’ forts built out of branches for a laugh.
Well who’s laughing now?
(James, mostly, from his place at the bridge where he watched the chaos from a safe distance from the eliminating birds.)
920 notes · View notes
luveline · 5 months ago
Text
kbd —You gather the family consensus on a fifth baby. mom!reader x dad!Steve, 2k
The first baby you and Steve have is a ringer for him. She’s his copy down to the eyelashes, and she has his good heart. She’s a good sister, a beautiful daughter, and she’s a brilliant student. 
But growing up makes you curious.
“Mom, why are you in the bathroom again?” 
You laugh nervously. “What?” you ask, gaze on your hands. 
“You’ve been in here like ten times today! Are you okay?” 
She sound so, so cute when she’s suspicious. Her voice twists up and her concern feels too big. She knows it’s not normal to go to the bathroom this many times and she’s clearly not okay with this new development. 
She knocks the door hard. “Do you need me to get dad?” 
You open the door and pull her in quickly. She giggles, startled to be grabbed and put on the counter, her hair falling into her eyes the same wavy pattern as her dads. He’s got strong genes. Steve stamps the kids as Harrington’s, all except your Beth, who looks just like you. 
“Mom, what the heck is going on?” 
“I’m gonna ask you a huge question and you have to tell me your first answer. Don’t worry about anything else. Be honest, okay?” 
“Okay. You’re making me nervous.” 
You show her your pregnancy test. “You know what this means?” 
She wrinkles her nose. “Did you pee on that?” 
“I did. Babe, do you know what that means, though?” 
“You’re having another baby?” Avery guesses. You go quiet. She beams at you. “Wait! Wait, mom, are you having another baby?” 
“I don’t know yet.” One positive test and six negatives makes you think it was a mistake, but you’ve been pregnant four times before. You’re starting to feel like an expert. “If I did have another baby, what would you think?” 
She tips her head back. You put the test aside and take her smaller hands into yours. She’s so pretty, all your babies are beautiful, and they’re all so special, and maybe you do want another one. Is that crazy? 
You nibble your lip as Avery thinks. 
“Well, we need a bigger house.” 
You nod agreeably. “We do.” 
“I love being a big sister.” 
“You’re the best one there ever was.” 
Avery holds your hands back, still smiling. “Well, mommy, I think it’s good. Then I will have four sisters. That’s even more than Stacey K.” 
You look her dead in the eye, but it’s all love pouring between you both. “So if mommy wants to have another baby, that’s okay? You’d be happy?” 
Avery puckers for a kiss, which you give. You wrap your arms around her and push her head into your neck. “Have another baby if you want, mommy,” she says, laughing, “I love babies. Um, most of the time. More now you got us the sound machine.” 
“Avery… don’t tell anybody, okay? Can we keep this our secret? I don’t know if I’m gonna have another one yet. I need to make sure everyone’s happy first.” 
Avery pats your back. It’s adorable. “Sure, mommy.” 
You ask Beth, next. Stealing her away from her colouring sometime later that day, you pull your second eldest against your chest outside in the back yard and watch the clouds move in the sky as it changes from blue to carnation pink. “Bubby?” 
“Yeah?” Beth asks. 
“Can I ask you a secret question?” 
“Yes.” She looks away from the sky. “Why?” 
“Because I care about what you think, okay?” 
“I know.” 
You ask Beth if another baby would be too many. She says no. She says she needs a brother, maybe twins if you can manage it, but it’s fine if you can’t. You kiss her cheek and spend another ten minutes with her staring up at the changing colours.
The first test being positive rocked your world. You were happy, but shocked to find yourself grinning at the two pink lines, because you thought four was enough. There’s a few years between each of your girls and you’d never expect to be pregnant again so soon after the last —you and Steve had one good night a fortnight ago. Wren’s not even a year old. 
Why do you want another baby so badly? 
You kiss Beth again. You love your kids, and you finally, finally got that promotion at work, and you’d been thinking about moving anyway, because two of the girls are sharing a room. You didn’t bring it up in fear of upsetting your sentimental husband before it was necessary. All your babies grew up here. This is where you and Steve started your life, and it’s never perfect but it’s amazing, and he’ll not want to leave it. 
He would be much happier if you left to make room for another baby, though. 
If you ask Dove what she thinks, she’ll probably say yes and grumble, and then spill the secret, so you don’t ask, but you watch her carefully for a while when Steve demands you and Beth come back inside. 
You let Beth run off and sit down. 
“You’ll catch a bug,” he says, leaning over your seat at the kitchen table to kiss your cheek. “You’re already freezing.” 
“We were watching the sun go down.” 
“Watch from the window.” He squints at you, his arms wrapping around your front. “Something wrong?” 
“No.”
“Okay, liar.” He taps your chin until you lift it and kisses you soundly. “It’s a good thing you’re this beautiful. You wouldn’t get away with your shit if you weren’t.” 
“My shit.” 
He grins into another kiss. “Sorry,” he says, kissing you softly. “I’m kidding, I love you, don’t frown at me.” 
You entrap him for a skewiff hug. He couldn’t be more eager, nosing at your cheek, the baby and Dove giggling at something where they sit at the table eating skinny banana slices. 
“They’re like us,” Steve says, following your gaze, “best friends.” 
You push him away from you gently. “Shush. Don’t you have stuff to do?” 
“I bet you think so. But no, I don’t, I’ve done everything.” 
Four kids is a lot, and somehow you and Steve have gotten really, really good at being their parents. You have four healthy, happy girls, with all the food they could ever eat and more princess dresses than they could ever wear. Now it’s six thirty on a Saturday and all that’s left to do is watch some TV. 
Maybe you’re an idiot to mess this up. 
“I need to pee really badly, so watch the baby.” 
“Jerk,” you say. You do not need to be told to watch your own baby. 
He snickers as he leaves. 
It was the high of the test. That first positive test was just a shock, is all. Your life is perfect now, nothing needs to change, because Steve loves you more and more everyday, and you adore him —you’d do anything for him and your girls. You and Steve would treasure another baby, but some things aren’t meant to be. 
But– but you could have another one. So you’re not pregnant right now, so what? Steve would have another baby with you if you asked. He’d probably spin you around in circles and call you the best, sweetest woman alive. You could spend the next nine months on the couch and he’d still think that way. 
“Baby?” Steve calls. 
“What, dad?” Bethie asks. 
“Not you, baby. Mommy, can you come here?” 
Your system gets another shock. Shit, the bathroom. 
You grab Wren to her horror and Dove’s jealousy and chug her along to the bathroom. You could’ve left her in her high chair, but soft bananas are a scary task for an unsupervised baby who eats mash for every meal.
Steve’s waiting in the doorway. It’s a small bathroom, and you can see as quickly as he can the mess of pregnancy strip tests you left on top of the bathroom trash can. There’s two in his hand. 
“Steve, I was gonna tell you about it,” you say, frowning. 
He frowns back. “Yeah?” he asks. 
“Really. I mean, obviously I would have,” —you tell each other everything— “but I was trying to work out how I feel, and the girls too. Avery always wants more sisters and Beth said she wants a brother and–” You smile. “I know I said we were done having babies for a while, if ever again, I know that was me, but when I thought I was pregnant again I got this rush of happiness going through me like a wave.” You shift Wren and her frowning higher up your chest. She’s appeased by a quick kiss pressed to the top of her head. “I don’t know why but I think I really want another baby.” 
He leans against the doorway, his arms crossing, with a strange expression playing on his mouth. 
“You can probably tell. I took like, twenty tests,” you exaggerate, embarrassed by your impromptu speech. “I kept hoping they’d come up positive. I got one positive first and the rest were negative, so I guess it was just a fluke.” 
“Ohhh,” he says, smiling around it. “Oh, that makes more sense.” 
“What makes sense?” 
“I think they just needed a little more time to cook, honey. They’re all positive.” He isn’t good at hiding how happy he feels. “You really want another one?” 
He’s achingly hopeful. 
You close the gap between you to lean on him and check the tests. “It must be super early,” Steve murmurs. 
“Well, it was only two and a half weeks ago,” you murmur back, seeing the double pink lines for yourself. Both tests are positive. “The ones in there, they’re…” 
“They’re all positive. When was the last time you had your eyes tested?”
“It was dark in there,” you joke, not sure what to say, even as a crest of pure joy begins to rise through your entire body. Your hands hum. 
“You want another baby?” he asks, pulling you tightly against him. “Then let’s have another baby. Let’s do it. You can have everything you want.” 
You stare at him. 
He nods. “We can do it. Let’s have another baby.” 
Heat in your eyes, the barest line of tears in your waterline as you give him a one-armed hug. “You want to?” you ask. 
He breathes out by your ear. “That’s a dumb question. And it’s pretty good luck, right? I mean, we weren’t trying, I didn’t even know you wanted another one, so for it to catch…” He does that groaning pleased thing where he buries his nose against the side of your face. 
“I didn’t know until the test was in my hand.” 
He laughs happily into your skin before he pulls away. He kisses you, he kisses Wren, and he flicks your tummy gently. “Holy shit, that’s a lot of Harringtons.” 
You get another loving kiss for all your efforts. “Steve?” you ask, eyes still closed, his face hovering just an inch away from your own. 
“What, honey?” He says it like light of my life, angel, sweetheart, all the devotion you're used to. 
“We’re probably gonna have to move.” 
“Are you kidding? I already figured it all out. We’re gonna convert the attic.” 
You laugh as he dots a kiss against your cheek. “We are?” 
“I got a quote a couple of months ago, I figured if Beth and Avery got too picky we could give Avery a new room upstairs. But it’ll still work, don’t you think?” 
You finally descend into giggly happy tears and Steve pretends he’s immune, but you hear him sniffing as you stroke Wren's chubby cheek with your finger. “What do you think, sweetheart?” you ask softly. “Do you want a baby sister? How about a brother? What are you thinking?” 
She gurgles her own laugh. “Da,” she says, pointing at Steve like he’s funny. 
“Do I get to decide?” Steve asks her, gasping happily. 
Steve has a lot more to say about it all later that night when the kids are sleeping, baby Wren on his chest, just for an hour before you both sleep too. 
He starts with asking if you’re sure, which you are for now, then the scary stuff, because you got really exhausted last time and it’s not going to be easier. He talks so much and you just lay there, in awe, because he means what he told you. You can have everything you want. Steve’s gonna make sure of it. 
“I’ll get you some prenatals in the morning, okay?” he promises, stroking hearts into Wren’s sleeping back. 
You shift over the pillow to kiss his cheek. “Thanks, H. I love you.” 
“I love you so much I don’t think you get it,” he says, tipping his head your way.
But you do. It’s why five kids feels like a gift, and not a curse. You get how much he loves you. 
1K notes · View notes
moremaybank · 2 months ago
Note
Any Dad!JJ? You’re just one of the best at writing him.
dad!jj for the soul !!!!! i hope you enjoy, angel! i really enjoyed writing this one! 🤍
Tumblr media
jj's elated when he sees his six year old babygirl, avery, walking out of her classroom. it's three-thirty on the dot, a time jj looks forward to daily when he picks up your daughter and takes her to work with him while they wait for you to meet them there after work.
avery reaches him, and he crouches down to her height so he can press a kiss to her cheek. "hi, babygirl."
"hi, daddy!"
he loves how chipper his little girl gets when she's around him. she lets it be known that she adores his presence, and that's what he's always dreamed of as a parent.
"mama killed it on your hair today," he says. he yanks gently at one of the braids you'd put into her hair earlier this morning. "look at these. phew. think my babygirl's a model."
she giggles at her father's affectionate words, cheeks heating with love. her squeals grow louder when jj scoops her up and makes his way to his truck. he buckles her into her booster seat, ruffling up the top of her hair playfully before shutting the door and getting into the driver's seat.
"hey, daddy?"
"'sup, aves?" he asks, pulling out of the parking lot and starting on the journey to the auto shop.
"what colours do boys like best?"
he arches a brow. "what d'ya mean, sweet girl?"
"dunno...like what colour do you like most on mama?"
"hmmm," jj says, pondering out loud. "that's a hard one, baby. i think your mama looks good in everythin'."
an adorable huff escapes her pursed lips. "daddy. 'm serious. you have to pick one."
the truck zooms down the road, passing by avery's favourite fast food joint. jj can't help but speed up just a smidge, hoping and praying that she won't look out the window and wrangle a chicken finger combo out of him. 'cause then he'd have to get one for her. he's never said no to his princess and he doesn't plan on changing that any time soon.
"mm, i guess i'd say red. i like when she wears that matching lipstick too."
jj looks up at the rear view mirror, catching the way avery nods before a presumable heat takes over her face. the dimple she'd gotten from him peeks through as she smiles to herself.
"what're you smilin' about?"
"nothing, daddy. i just think i'm gonna wear red for the dance tomorrow."
he arches a brow, but he doesn't push her on her answer. "whatever you want, babygirl."
˖ . ݁ 𝜗𝜚. ݁₊
jj hears the click-clacking of high heels against the floors of the auto-shop, and he doesn't need to wheel out from underneath the station wagon he's working on to know it's you.
"hi, mommy!" avery greets cheerfully, getting off the spinning chair jj had secured for her from the break room. she runs over to you as quickly as her smaller feet can manage, and you meet her with an equally thrilled grin. you pick her up and squeeze her into a tight hug.
"hi, baby." you smooth down some of her frizz. "how was school?"
"it was good. chrissy shared her chocolate bar with me, and kyle gave me a flower at recess."
neither of you can see it, but jj makes a face under the car.
kyle? who the fuck was kyle?
"he's a good best friend to you, baby," you tell her. "did you thank him?"
"yes. and he's not my best friend anymore, mama. he's my boyfriend."
this time, you do see jj's reaction. or, rather, hear it anyway.
"what?!"
something that sounds like a bang rings through the air, followed by a shit (to which your daughter snickers, always one to find her father hilarious). then, he rolls out from beneath the vehicle, rubbing his forehead to ease the sharp pain. his eyes find your daughter's, though, and he's as stern as you've ever seen him.
"aves— you can't have a boyfriend!"
"daddy, i'm six. i'm not a baby," avery reminds him, sounding every bit like a teenager instead of her actual age. the sass never failed to make you smile.
just like her daddy.
"yes, you are still a baby! my baby!"
"j—" you interject.
"nah. nope. no way."
"why don't you go back over there and colour, angel?" she nods, and you set her down, watching as she runs back to her chair. she takes a sip of her apple juice, bringing her attention back to her artwork.
deciding she's not at all bothered by jj's theatrics, you walk over to him and help him stand. you look up into his cerulean eyes when he towers above you. "babe, relax. she's six."
"exactly! she's a baby! she can't have a boyfriend. s'just not happenin'."
you give him a knowing smile, your arms looping around the back of his neck. "you were my boyfriend when we were six," you remind him. "don't think you found anything wrong about that back then."
he frowns, but pulls you in closer by your hips anyway. no matter what, any time he's around you without touching you, it just seems like a waste.
"that's different. i was a nice boy."
you both realize avery's been listening quietly when she chimes in. "kyle's nice too, daddy. he kisses my cheek everyday at the end of school."
she says it like it's a fact. like kyle never misses out on what infuriatingly sounds like a tradition to jj.
jj thinks he's having a stroke.
"he's puttin' his lips on you, now?!" his forehead falls to your shoulder, and he slumps against you like the six-foot baby he is. "oh god, i think i'm gonna be sick." a beat passes, and then he distances himself from you. the sulk is still prominent on his face, and now, it's probably permanent. he pulls at his collar, shifting uncomfortably as he tries to fan himself off. "'m i sweating?"
avery hops down from her chair, strutting over to her father and tugging at the leg of his coveralls, silently requesting that he crouch down to her height. of course, jj immediately falls in line.
"don't be mad, daddy."
"wait, wait, wait— is kyle the reason you're wearin' red tomorrow?!"
"don't worry, daddy." she pats his cheek like he's the one who needs reassurance. to be fair, he clearly is. "kyle's nice. just like you."
and with that, she trots off back to her chair with a cheshire cat smile, clearly feeling accomplished.
"yeah. he better be," jj mutters bitterly, standing back up.
your hands reach out to grab a hold of your husband again, and it draws his attention back to you. your hands frame his face and you give him a smile. "you're gonna be a total nightmare when she grows up and gets a boyfriend or girlfriend for real."
"damn right, i will. like i said, she's my baby."
you raise a brow. "i thought i was your baby?"
his tongue darts out to wet his lips, and then his mouth forms into a smirk. "see now, she's my baby. but you're my baby." his hands migrate down to your ass and he gives you a squeeze. "you pickin' up what i'm puttin' down?"
"oh, i think i am."
Tumblr media
concepts ; concepts (ii)
741 notes · View notes
roosterforme · 8 months ago
Text
Some Things Take Time | Bob Floyd x Reader
Summary: Bob is a man well known for his patience. He never rushes things in the air, and he tries to live by a similar philosophy on the ground. You and he are both on the same page about welcoming a child into your home through foster care, but it's hard for him to watch you try to bond with her unsuccessfully. He soon realizes that Avery is a lot like him, and that some things are worth the extra time.
Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of infertility, mentions of foster care and adoption, Bob making all other men look like trash
Length: 5800 words
Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x wife!reader
Happy birthday @wkndwlff! Check my masterlist for more!
Tumblr media
You were laying on the couch with your head resting on your husband's lap, spinning his wedding band around on his finger while you tried to put your thoughts into words. You could tell he knew you were on the verge of speaking, sending you several expectant glances as you and he both pretended to watch the movie he started an hour ago. But Bob would never rush you, and you were thankful for that, because you wanted to make sure you got this right. 
"We've been trying for a long time," you whispered, and Bob's blue eyes met yours as you looked up at him. "Almost two years."
He nodded once and smiled softly. "We have," he murmured, squeezing your hand in his larger one. You pressed your lips together as tears stung your eyes. Bob never seemed upset that he was pushing forty years old and in spite of trying and trying, you'd never gotten pregnant. He never put pressure on you to keep trying or to stop. You were convinced he never would, but you wanted to know what he was really thinking.
"What if we... stopped. Stopped trying. And just went with an alternative?"
"Honey, I already told you I'm happy with things how they are. We can stop trying if you want to, or we can talk about alternatives if you want to do that. But there's nothing wrong with just you and me. In fact, I'm really quite enjoying myself."
You closed your eyes as his fingers drifted along the curves of your side. It would be delicious to get back into the habit of having sex when you wanted to instead of when your cycle demanded it. You and Bob sharing your undivided attention with each other was something you were craving, but you still wanted something else, too.
"What if I said I wanted to look into fostering and adoption again?" you asked softly as you started to sit up.
He pulled you closer so you were straddling his thigh. "Then I would say we can call our lawyer on Monday and get some answers."
You smiled as you nudged his glasses with your nose and kissed his cheek. "And what if I said I'm not fertile today, but I want you anyway?"
Bob reached for the remote and turned the movie off as a soft blush rose in his cheeks. "Then I would say it's time we got in bed, Honey."
---------------------
Bob was a man who was well known for his patience. He never rushed things in the air, and he tried to live by a similar philosophy on the ground. He knew he wanted to marry you about halfway through the first date. He also knew you would have looked at him like he was insane if he admitted that to you halfway through the first date. So instead of rushing things, he took the time to make sure you were on the same page he was and that you were comfortable. He always tried to do that.
When a baby just didn't seem to be happening, he was more than willing to keep trying, but he was also completely content with the idea of no kids at all. It wasn't worth rushing anything as long as he had you in his life. But you had recently convinced him of a third option, and his lawyer helped the two of you smooth out the details. 
And this is how Avery ended up at Bob's house on a random Monday evening. She was eight years old and in need of a foster family, and you were adamant when you answered the phone call that you and Bob were more than ready for her to be dropped off even on such short notice. 
"I'm so nervous," you whispered as you held Bob's hand and watched through the front window as a van pulled up. 
"I'm excited," he told you with a soft laugh. When he thought about having kids, he always pictured a little girl. For some reason, the idea of reading princess stories and painting a bedroom a putrid shade of purple really appealed to him. As he watched Avery being led up the walkway, he realized she didn't look one bit like you or him. He also realized that having a child who resembled him was actually never part of his dreams. 
As the doorbell rang, you bounced in place and whispered, "She's here. She's really here." 
Bob pulled you in for a kiss as his heart thudded. He realized he needed to tamp down his excitement a little bit. The two of you were merely fostering Avery. Nothing was set in stone even though you told the lawyer you wanted to eventually adopt a child. But right now your eyes were glittering with hope and anticipation, and Bob couldn't take that away from you. 
"Let's make her feel welcome," he said as you both headed for the door. 
Avery stood there with an unreadable expression on her adorable face, and Bob noticed right away how the case worker seemed to rush through everything. There were papers to sign and a schedule to keep, and even though all of it pertained to Avery, she ended up sitting quietly at the kitchen table while everyone else talked about her.
It was late by the time you and Bob were alone with her, and now her unreadable expression looked something like sadness. "Avery," Bob said softly. "Do you want to see your bedroom?"
She looked up at him and nodded without saying a word, and then you helped her down from the chair. You had taken the time to freshen up the extra bedroom and buy a pink glitter toothbrush and a pair of pajamas in her size. But Avery just sat down on the edge of the bed with her bag and asked, "Do I have to go to school tomorrow?"
"Yes," Bob replied with a smile. "I'll drop you off on my way to work, and then I'll pick you up in the afternoon."
When she didn't respond, you asked, "Is there anything you want? A bedtime snack or something to drink? I could make you some hot chocolate or get you a cookie. Bob makes the best oatmeal cookies, and there are a few left from the weekend. Maybe you can help Bob make the next batch." You were rambling now, and Bob reached out to squeeze your hand as you said, "We're just excited that you're here."
But Avery shook her head and told you, "I'll just read my book. Thanks." Then she untied her shoes and took a well worn copy of The Secret Garden from her bag, but she sat on the bed with rigid posture, not looking at either of you.
Bob wasn't quite sure what to do. You'd already shown the child where the bathroom was, and she seemed to have all of her essentials. He swallowed hard, deciding not to rush Avery even though he could feel your disappointment radiating off of you. He cleared his throat and said, "We'll leave our bedroom door open in case you need anything. And we'll get you up around seven for school. Good night, Avery."
She just nodded and squinted down at the tattered book cover like she was going to cry. Bob led you down the hallway, through your room and into the en suite bathroom where he gathered you in his arms as tears filled your eyes. "I don't think she likes us," you gasped before you buried your face against his neck.
Bob kissed the top of your head and whispered, "I just think she needs some time. Let's not rush anything." 
-------------------------
You cried yourself to sleep the first night. You knew that your response wasn't fair to Bob or Avery or even to yourself, but you'd imagined meeting a little girl who was at least a little bit more talkative if not upbeat. You had your hopes set on fostering a child who at least gave the impression that your home was better than another alternative. You'd been given a vague picture of where Avery had come from, and you wanted her to be comfortable here, but now you felt stupid for buying the glitter toothbrush and the Minnie Mouse pajamas. 
Bob's hand drew lazy circles on your back as you turned away from him and cried softly. "It's just the first night," he reminded you in that sweet, even tone that you loved so much.
"I know. I just wanted this so desperately," you admitted between shaky breaths. His hand on your body helped you eventually fall asleep, and the next morning, Bob was up before you, making breakfast. When you tapped on Avery's door which was ajar, you poked your head in to find her once again sitting on the bed reading.
"Did you sleep okay?" you asked, and she nodded in response. "That's great!" you said in a tone of forced excitement. "Do you need help getting ready for school?"
"No," she said softly, setting the book aside.
You took a deep breath and said, "Bob's making breakfast. Do you want to come downstairs and eat?"
"Yes."
That was the last word you heard her speak before Bob led her out to his car in his uniform. He smiled at you over his shoulder as he told you to have a good day working on your true crime novel, but you knew you weren't going to. You spend two hours trying to write, but you ended up with three and a half new sentences. Instead, you spent most of the day thinking you'd made a huge mistake and hating your own body. Avery would probably last two weeks tops with you and Bob before she was begging to go somewhere else. You didn't even know if you could stand to see her melancholy little expression when your husband brought her home from school today, but you didn't want to call her case worker for help yet.
In the afternoon, you bought everything you needed to make oatmeal cookies along with the rest of your usual groceries. You paused next to the checkout line where there was a display of children's books and grabbed a few of them. Avery appeared to like her book more than anything else, so maybe she would appreciate these ones, too.
But when Bob brought Avery home with him after school, she barely spoke. She didn't want to help make any cookies, and after dinner, she went back to her bedroom. Bob tried to help her with her homework, but she told him it was easy and she already finished it. When you dropped off the new books, she told you she already had a favorite. 
"Oh," you said, standing in the doorway with your hands full of the unwanted books. "That's good... that you have a favorite. I have a favorite book, too."
She looked up at you and nodded, but soon you were backing out of the room and trying to hide your tears from Bob. "It takes time," he reassured you as you balled your hands into fists and cried on him again.
You knew you needed to be as patient as he always was, but you just weren't like him. And you started talking before you could stop yourself. "If we could have gotten pregnant, we'd have our own child," you sobbed. "One that we raised from day one who would love us and bake cookies and read new books."
Bob kissed your ear and whispered, "Nothing is easy, Honey. But sometimes the harder something is at first, the more rewarding it is later on."
You cried yourself to sleep again.
------------------------
Bob tried his best for that first week. He watched you start to pull away and retreat into yourself the more Avery kept to her bedroom. Every day when he dropped her off and picked her up, she thanked him for the ride. When he asked if she would rather start taking the bus, she told him it didn't matter. When he asked if there was something special she wanted to eat for dinner, she said she wasn't picky. 
And all the while she just squinted down at her book. Just The Secret Garden even though you brought home some others. When he pulled up to the curb in front of her school one morning, he said, "Avery, would you like me to take you to the library one day? Or maybe a bookstore where you can pick out what you want?"
She looked at him as she grabbed her backpack in one hand and her book in the other. "Maybe." Then she climbed out of the car, and he waited to pull away until she was inside the school building. That was the most promising answer he'd received yet. He drove to work thinking about signing her up for a library card, and when he got there, he was in a much better mood.
Natasha was the only one who knew that Avery was under his care. He didn't want to give anyone too many details, but she sweetly asked him the same question every morning after they got to work. "How are you and the Mrs. making out with your houseguest?"
And this morning, he said, "Maybe a little better today, Nat. I'm just trying not to rush it."
She patted him on the chest and smiled. "You never do, Bob. You're a man of details."
She was right. He spent the day thinking about all of the details that he knew about Avery. She was eight years old and very quiet. She only wanted to read one book even though you offered her more. She seemed to find the most comfort when she was alone. She was honestly a lot like Bob.
When he picked Avery up from school, he watched as one of the teachers patted the top of her backpack and sent her on her way. She squinted toward his car before trudging over in his direction with a frown on her face. Bob sighed as she climbed into the backseat and buckled herself in. "How was your day, Avery?" he asked as he shifted into drive. But today he got no verbal response at all. Instead he heard her crying.
Without another word, Bob pulled his car around and into an empty parking spot before killing the engine. He opened his door and closed it before taking a few deep breaths, and then he climbed in the back door and settled in next to the crying child. He let one hand gently rest on her shoulder, giving her a small squeeze before asking, "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"
She just shook her head as tears flowed down her cheeks, and she stared at her feet. "It's stupid."
Bob smiled slightly. "You might think so, but I'd probably find what you have to say fascinating."
She turned her head to look at him, examining his face to see if he was being honest. But of course he was. He just wanted her to tell him what was on her mind. It took a few minutes before she started to settle down, but eventually she said, "I failed my eye exam with the nurse today." She unzipped her bag and pulled out a yellow sheet of paper and handed it to him. "She told me my eyesight is terrible and that I need to get glasses."
Bob looked at the page and had to hide his alarm from her. Avery failed her eye exam spectacularly. It was a wonder to Bob that she was even able to see in her classroom. But now her squinting and her preference for one, well worn book were starting to make sense. As he filled in the blanks in his mind, he said, "Glasses aren't so bad," while he tapped his own silver frames. "They certainly make my day a lot easier."
She kind of rolled her eyes and said, "But you're an adult. People aren't going to make fun of you for wearing glasses."
"You think you'll get made fun of?" Bob asked softly, folding the yellow paper in half.
"Yes," she replied immediately as she wiped at her tears. "I already do. Glasses will make it so much worse."
Bob wanted to press her for more details, but he didn't think this was the right moment. Instead he asked, "Is that why you only like to read The Secret Garden? Because you already know most of the words by heart?"
Avery looked at him like she couldn't believe he solved a very complex riddle. "Yes."
He nodded and asked, "Would you like to be able to read other books, too? Because glasses would definitely help with that."
She shrugged and sniffed as she said, "I like books about gardens and flowers and fairies. I don't know of any other ones I would like anyway."
Bob patted her on the shoulder one more time and said, "I like those kinds of books, too. And I think I can help you get glasses that look cool and help you pick out more books. If you'll let me."
Another partial shrug was his only answer, but at least she wasn't telling him no. As he climbed back into the driver's seat, he sent you a quick text telling you that he and Avery were fine and to go ahead and have dinner on your own. Then he drove along to his optometrist's office, hoping they would squeeze an extra appointment into their schedule.
"You're in luck," the receptionist told him when they arrived. "There was a last minute cancellation. Have a seat, and we can take you back shortly."
The rack hanging on the wall was filled with books and magazines for people of all ages, but Bob watched Avery squint as she took a seat empty handed. He skimmed a magazine and offered to read an article to her, but she said no. When ten minutes had passed, Bob asked her, "Are the kids at school mean to you?" 
He was already considering other options that might make her feel more comfortable when she said, "I just don't fit in. Everyone else has parents or grandparents. Everyone else is loud, and I like it better when it's quiet. Everyone else already made friends."
Bob nodded his head. It was like she was living his own childhood in many ways. "I like it better when it's quiet, too. So does my wife. And making friends can be hard at any age. I still struggle with it."
"You do?" she asked him, eyes wide and interested.
"Absolutely. Sometimes I still get nervous and stumble over what I want to say, and I'm thirty-nine. And you know what?"
"What?"
"There's nothing wrong with that."
He watched Avery take a deep breath and look down at her hands before both of their names were called. Once they were in the exam room, Bob got to witness her fail the test for the second time in one day, and then her tears started up again. The crying was only made worse when the receptionist popped in and tried to quietly tell Bob that Avery wasn't approved for any vision insurance. 
The child was clearly smart as a whip, and if she was having a hard time fitting in at school, he didn't want to make it worse by making her feel like she didn't fit in with you and him either. "I was planning on paying out of pocket today," he told the receptionist who just nodded in response. Then he turned to Avery and said, "Looks like the nurse was right. How about we pick out some glasses?"
She looked at the displays while she wiped at her eyes with a tissue, but she wouldn't tell Bob which ones she wanted to try on. "Which ones are the cheapest?" she asked softly.
"I have no idea," Bob replied easily. "What's your favorite color?"
"Purple," she whispered, and Bob followed her squinting gaze to a purple frame sitting on a shelf above her head. 
"I like purple, too," he said as he reached them down and handed them to her. She held them for a couple minutes, and Bob decided not to rush her. She finally slipped them on and looked in the mirror, and he told her, "I think they look cool."
She nodded a little bit. "They're pretty good. But nobody else at school has purple glasses." 
As she removed them and tried to hand them back to him, Bob quickly looked at the adult sized frames. There was one pair that came in a deep purple, and he kind of liked them. "Just hang onto those for a minute. I need help picking out new glasses for myself, okay? What do you think about these?" 
When he removed his wire frames and replaced them with the purple plastic, it seemed like Avery couldn't help but smile. "I like them."
He nodded once. "Then I'll get them. That way we can match since we both like purple. Thanks for your help."
"You're welcome," she replied quietly, looking at the glasses she was still holding before handing them to Bob.
He took both pairs in his hand before nodding toward the door. "I'm feeling like it's a good day to get ice cream for dinner and look around the bookstore. I can think of at least two more books that you might like to read once your glasses are ready for you to wear. Sound good?"
"Yes."
--------------------------
You didn't know what to expect when Bob brought Avery home after seven o'clock on a school night, but you definitely weren't prepared to hear her laughter for the first time. You'd barely made any progress on your novel since Avery arrived a few weeks ago, merely existing in your own funk all day long. But the sound of Bob's voice followed by her light giggle as they walked inside left you feeling better than you had in ages.
"Hi," you said, your voice dripping with optimism as Bob headed your way with a shopping bag in his hand. 
"Hi, Honey," he replied, kissing your cheek while Avery took her shoes off.
"How was school?" you asked her. 
"Terrible," she told you with a smile aimed up at Bob. "I failed my eye exam."
"Oh," you gasped, already making a mental note to call the eye doctor first thing in the morning so she could get some glasses. "We can take care of it for you."
"Already did," Bob said as he squeezed your hand. "Stopped on the way home and picked them out. Should be ready next week."
"Really?" you asked in surprise as he pulled two books out of the bag. Both were covered in vines and flowers, but one was clearly a novel for an adult while the other was much slimmer and looked like it was for Avery's reading level.
"Yes," he replied softly. "Now, on the drive home, I told Avery that you're a writer, but that you're also really good at reading books out loud." When you nodded and looked at her, she was squinting up at you. Bob handed you the smaller book and said, "I didn't get to take a shower before I left work, so I need to go do that now. But I promised Avery that you'd read a chapter to her after she gets ready for bed." He patted her on the shoulder and then made his way upstairs.
Your head was swimming with information. New glasses and new books and a child who was looking up at you with hope in her eyes. A husband who set up some time for you to spend alone with her. Tears stung your eyes as you said, "I love reading books out loud. Do you want to change for bed and brush your teeth now?"
Ten minutes later, you were sitting next to Avery on the spare bed, reading to her about a magical garden filled with flowers that turned the characters into superheroes. You read all sixteen pages of the first chapter, and then she asked you to read more. 
It was a little bit past bedtime when you finished the third chapter, and she was yawning. "How about I go get you one of my bookmarks from my office? And we can read more tomorrow night?"
"Okay," she replied easily, and when you returned a minute later with a bookmark that had a purple tassel, she smiled. "I like this book so far, but I think I'd like it a lot better if there were fairies, too. Thank you for reading to me."
"You're very welcome," you told her, barely shutting off the light in time for a tear to slide down your cheek. "Goodnight, Avery."
When you rushed into your own bedroom, Bob was in bed reading the other new book. "How did you do it?" you asked him, quickly climbing under the covers with him. "How did you get her to open up a little bit?"
He set the book down with a soft smile. "She just needed some time, Honey. She's a lot like me. She can't be rushed."
"No," you said, pushing your fingers through his hair as you cried a little bit. "That's not it. I think you're actually magical."
"Maybe," he agreed. "But her vision is so bad. That's why I think she kept reading The Secret Garden. She probably has it memorized and didn't want to tell anyone she couldn't see."
"Poor thing," you whispered, realizing that most of Bob's magic came from his patience as you fell asleep in his arms.
-------------------------
A week later, Bob noticed you were exhausted, but you seemed a lot happier, because Avery seemed a lot happier. You had successfully read two books to her, and she was starting to become more vocal around the house. He was hoping she was having an easier time making friends at school now, too. But he was a little bit concerned with how late into the night you'd been working.
When he got a message around lunchtime letting him know both pairs of glasses were ready, he smiled. Pretty soon Avery would be able to attempt reading a new book on her own. He sent you a text letting you know that he'd be home with Avery after a quick stop back at the optometrist's office. And when he picked her up from school, she squinted at his car before climbing in the backseat. 
"Ready to go get our new glasses?" he asked before pulling out onto the road.
"Yes," she replied softly. "I've decided that wearing glasses is a better alternative than not being able to read new books. At least until I can get contacts."
Bob chuckled. "A wise choice."
A few seconds later, she asked, "Will you take me to the library this weekend? There have to be more books there that I'd like."
"Of course I'll take you to the library. We can ask the librarian to help you find you as many books as you want to read."
He hoped that would make the new glasses an even easier decision for her. He parked and led her inside where the eye doctor got them both fitted correctly before handing them a mirror. "What do you think?" Bob asked as he smiled at Avery. "I think they look cool on you."
She shrugged. "They're okay."
"Can you see better?"
"Yes," she whispered. On the way outside, she said, "Thanks for getting new glasses with me. I like yours, too."
Bob checked himself in the mirror before he backed out of the parking spot. "I think it's kind of my color."
You were waiting in the living room for them when Bob opened the front door. The house smelled like dinner cooking, and you had a stack of bound pages on the couch next to you. When you jumped to your feet, you said, "You both look great!" as you bounced in place a little bit.
"Purple is kind of our color," Avery said, making Bob laugh as you covered your massive smile with your fingertips. 
"It really is," you replied, wrapping Bob in a quick hug before cautiously placing your hand on Avery's shoulder for a beat. "I have something I wanted to show you. I was hoping to get your opinion."
"Me?" she asked, looking up at you, eyes wide behind her purple frames.
"Yes," you told her softly. "I've been working on a new story for the past week, and I really think you'll be able to help me with the ending."
"What kind of story?" she asked you, and Bob slowly made his way into the kitchen where he could still hear the two of you talking. 
"Well," you told her as she joined you on the couch, "it's about a fairy who gets invited to live in a magic garden. And she starts to learn how to use magic herself while a friendly witch and a kind wizard supervise her. And the garden is really pretty, and she loves it there and starts to make friends with the other creatures. Do you want to take a look at it?"
"Okay."
Bob hovered in the doorway and watched you hand the bound manuscript to the little girl next to you while you chewed nervously on your lip. He knew you wanted this to work out; he did too. He was also very surprised that you'd been working on this for the past week without sharing your secret even with him. But it truthfully wasn't really for him. It was for her. And you.
The child looked up at you and whispered, "You named the fairy Avery."
You just nodded and smiled. "Your name is so pretty, and you remind me of the kind of little girl who would have magic inside her."
Avery turned back to the page in front of her and snuggled in a little bit closer to you. She started reading out loud, and after a few pages, handed it over to you for a little bit. The two of you went back and forth like this for an hour before Bob carried in two plates of dinner and set them on the coffee table. 
"Even magic fairies get hungry," he said softly before leaving both of you to the story.
---------------------------
When you woke up a few weeks later on Avery's ninth birthday, you were beyond exhausted. The past few nights had been late ones for you as you tried to finish up and edit the story you'd been working on. The title that the two of you came up with was The Littlest Fairy in the Garden, and you were just as proud of this as your true crime releases. 
Then you realized that there was actually a reason why you woke up. You could hear Bob talking. It sounded like he was on the phone even though it was barely eight o'clock. You climbed out of bed and stretched before finding him sitting on the floor in the walk-in closet talking softly on the phone in his pajama pants, undershirt and purple glasses.
"I'm sure she's going to agree with me. We want to move forward if that's what Avery wants, but I'll call you back in an hour or two. Thank you so much."
He ended the call right when you asked, "Who was that?"
Bob jumped a bit as he looked up at you with a tentative smile. "Our lawyer," he whispered. 
"What did they say?" you whispered back as he got to his feet and wrapped his arms around you. 
When Bob's lips found your ear, you shivered at his words. "It was just a preliminary conversation, but they asked if we would be interested in pursuing adoption."
"With Avery?" you gasped, and he nodded against you. 
"Yes. With Avery."
Tears filled your eyes as you clung to him. You thought about all the books she'd been reading with you and the birthday cake waiting in the kitchen. You could practically still smell the oatmeal cookies she and Bob made a few days ago. You could picture her smile and imagine her laughter, both of which were coming more easily with each passing day. "I want to adopt her. She belongs here. With us."
"I think so, too," he replied immediately, and you could hear the unshed tears in her voice. "I think we should have a conversation with her about it today. The process could take a little time, but I want to be sure it's what she wants as well."
You nodded, a jerky motion against him as your heart pounded faster and faster. "Let's talk about it when she wakes up."
Bob led you downstairs to the kitchen, his fingers laced with yours, and he started to crack some eggs while you made coffee and fresh orange juice. Avery had picked the menu for each meal today for her birthday, and the plan was to take her to the zoo after lunch. There was currently a purple banner with flowers and fairies on it stretched across the kitchen along with a large assortment of balloons. You couldn't remember being this excited about something in such a long time.
"Good morning," came a soft voice from the bottom of the stairs, and you nearly dropped a mug on the floor as you turned to look at her.
"Happy birthday!" you and Bob replied in unison, and then all three of you started laughing. 
Without another word, Avery made her way into the kitchen in her Minnie Mouse pajamas and gave you a hug around the waist. You gasped softly as you hugged her back, her purple glasses pressing against you. Then she tucked herself against Bob's side and hugged him right after that. "Thanks for all the birthday stuff. And thanks for being so nice to me and getting me glasses and everything."
You and Bob shared a look over her head as he rubbed his hand along her shoulder. "It makes us happy that you're here, Avery," he said softly, and you had to swipe at your tears. "Let's have your breakfast, and maybe we can talk about making this permanent."
"Permanent? Like me staying here for a while?" she asked softly as she looked up at him.
"Like you staying here forever."
--------------------------
This is a little birthday treat for @wkndwlff! I hope you have a great day, Taylor! I set out to write a nice little story based on this mood board, but somehow it turned into this angsty thing instead. Thanks to @sylviebell @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
@thedroneranger
@theamuz
@cherrycola27
@katiedid-3
@yuckosworld
@je-suis-prest-rachel
@callsign-magnolia
@avaleineandafryingpan
@t-nd-rfoot
@eddiemunsonreader
@wintercap89
@the-fever-of-mankind
@sio-ina-bottle
@lovingperfectionsblog
@daisydont-lie
@sappy-seresin
@birdy-bat-writes
@cutelittlefakejourneys
@cottagecori
@fandom-princess-forevermore
@sotalife
@novastories
@xoxabs88xox
@rileyanntoinette
@mannsachds
@midnightmagpiemama
@greatszu
@zetasaturno99
@lovingrobertfloyd
@taytaylala12
@captain-fandomwriter58
@grxcisxhy-wp
@hobireasns
@wolfquake23
@paintlavillered
@seitmai
@noonenuts
@amiets2
@imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog
@lonelysoul50
@sweetwhispersofchaos
1K notes · View notes
trillscienceofficer · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
from Sci-Fi Universe magazine, October 1996
KISS ME DEADLY: In REJOINED, one of the season's finest episodes, a kiss proved to be more than just a kiss
Maybe it's another sign of format maturity, but the modern Trek era has never seen anything like the controversy that erupted over the airing of DS9's Rejoined, which takes the science fiction story opportunity made possible by Dax's Trill host/symbiont race and twists it into a social comment on sexual orientation Gene Roddenberry would have been proud to call his own.
"Last July," begins Terry Farrell, whose Dax character is at the heart of the story, "Rick Berman called and asked me if I would kiss a woman, and at that point I guess I didn't take it that seriously. I said, 'Yeah, as long as she's beautiful I don't care!'
"And then it spurred me to thinking about it before it actually happened, and I felt bad I had been so flip, because I didn't realize how serious a love story it would be—and how nervous I would be about it, really want to be sure I'm honest and I'm doing the story justice, and I really want people to talk about it and think about it afterward. It really meant a lot to me.
"I think it's really important to love people for who they are, and spiritually it was a great show for me too, because it just reinforces that all of us—whether we want to admit it or not—can really be judgmental at times. That was a really important show to say, to the smallest degree, you've got to remember that people's lives are always so much more complicated than you think they are."
"We had a lot of advance buzz, but we also sat on that show a bit,' adds producer Steve Oster, who recalled the flap in 1969 when Kirk and Uhura made history with television's interracial kiss in Plato's Stepchildren. In fact, the show didn't go looking for attention.
"Because it had a kiss in it, and because of the Roseanne hoopla a few years ago (concerning the high-profile star's on-screen lesbian kiss), our publicity people wanted to have them come over and take pictures of 'the famous kiss scene,' have a news crew like Entertainment Tonight there—and we opted not to do that for a couple of reasons.
"For one thing, because we didn't want to become the Roseanne issue where stations were deciding not to air it, and secondly, to Rick's credit, he did not want to make that what the episode was about. It was not about two characters kissing—it was not about making that a tantalizing factor of the episode."
As directed by Avery Brooks, the episode maintained a remarkably naturalistic feel through the acting of all concerned, including Farrell and guest star Susanna Thompson.
"They chose to play it as real, as we would any other scene with those emotions going on: not 'Okay, a girl is going to kiss a girl,' but it was 'This is someone you were in love with before and you still are,' and that's the arc of the scene. It was not about the kiss," says Oster.
"I think we were trying to be as realistic as possible," Farrell agrees. "Really, the only scene I remember going way out and pulling back was the last scene were I give her the ultimatum—where Avery let me basically go all out and cry my eyes out and then pull me back. So that was the only time I remember going from one extreme to the other, trying a range; otherwise it was pretty natural."
In fact, the scene with Sisko was one of the easiest to play, she revealed, because of the natural affinity she feels tor Brooks, the actor. "He was so supportive of me during the first year of DS9 when it was really difficult for me, he was the only one who reached out and really made me feel comfortable, and tried to help me build my self-confidence and self-esteem in really healthy way," she says. "So I felt like I didn't need to do a lot of homework."
Farrell reveals that, in fact, the hardest scene for her as an actress was the moment in which Dax and Lenara Kahn realize at dinner, without voicing it directly, that they are still in love. Aside from the new situation of seeing Dax giddy like that, Farrell recalled it was the first day of shooting on the episode. "I felt a little uncomfortable and was feeling nervous about the whole thing," she says, "and I remember trying to make her comfortable at the same time."
The chemistry that sparked between Farrell and Thompson—finally out from under the makeup as a Romulan and Tilonian, both on TNG [on The Next Phase and Frame of Mind respectively]—came as no accident, since the producers had taken pains to have Farrell read with those who came in during casting for the role.
"We auditioned and auditioned and auditioned," Oster reports. "We needed to find that chemistry, someone who can play that role as a human being, not as someone who's wondering about kissing another woman. And if someone has delivered for us, we'll bring them back if they've been in makeup before because that can change."
"And," agrees Farrell, "we made sure we had a meeting before we started the show—Susanna and Avery and I—to discuss the show. Usually we don't have time for those kinds of things to happen on our show, but they just made the time. And it really made a difference, I think."
Before the show aired, executive producer Rick Berman said he hoped it would be "received with some controversy."
"I think it does deal metaphorically with homosexuality in the sense of how society puts taboos on certain sexual orientation," Berman said. "It deals with it from both sides, I believe. And I'm sure there are those in the gay community who will probably feel that, again, we haven't gone far enough. But our objective in this story was very specific and very related to the big points that are exhibited in the story—it was never designed to be 'how far can we push this?' It's another step in our attempts to supposedly open stories that deal with a variety of sexual orientation [sic]."
The low-key strategy seemed to have worked: among the affiliates who knew what was coming, Oster reports, none ever dropped the show completely. All ran the episode on first airing—with a parental advisory added by the Atlanta station—and "two or three" others cut the scene out when repeated.
"The studio was very supportive of it; it was one of those things that when Roseanne became the cutting edge and it passed by, it suddenly became not much of an issue."
—Larry Nemecek
"Negative callers couldn't make the leap between seeing this kiss and the famous one between Uhura and Kirk in 1969 as both being a matter of prejudice."
—Producer Steve Oster
557 notes · View notes
megameatymatt · 4 months ago
Note
dad!matt and dad!chris is all i want in life
A Day with Dad - Chris Sturniolo
Tumblr media
Summary: Chris is left at home with his two daughters
TW!: none really
Requested?: yes
A/N: feedback, interaction, and requests are appreciated! ( im also very sorry if this sucks i don't read a lot of dad!chris or matt fics😭)
--------------------------------------------------------------
You and Chris have finally started building the family you've dreamed of for so long. You have two daughters: Avery who has just turned 4, and Scarlet who is 1 year old. You and Chris couldn't be happier living this life, but Chris noticed you've started to become more tired and tense, so during summer break, when the kids were home. He planned a day out full of activities for you and your friends.
It was 8:30 in the morning and you were leaving the house to get to the Breakfast place Chris put in a reservation for. "I'll see you soon," you say as you grab your house keys. "Have fun baby" Chris says as he grabs your chin and kisses you. "I'm gonna miss my girls," You say thinking of their cute chubby little faces. "They'll be with the fun parent, they won't miss you one bit," Chris says with a sense of pride. You roll you're eyes and laugh. "Whatever, Chris, I love you." "I love you more baby", and with that, you're stepping into the car and driving off. Chris waits outside until the car has fully left his sight before heading back inside.
As soon as he steps inside, he hears crying. "Scarlet" He mutters under his breath before running up the stairs and into the girls' room. He turns on the light and lifts Scarlet out of her crib. As soon as she's in his arms, she quiets down.
"Good morning sunshine, how are you?" Chris' presence wakes up his second daughter Avery. "Daddy!" Avery squeaks, wrapping her arms around Chris's leg. "Hey, bunny. You're pretty happy today!" He says, setting Scarlet back down in her crib. "Ok girls, Mommy went out today so guess what? You're gonna be spending the day with the best dad in the world," He says pointing both his fingers towards him. The girls cheer and Chris laughs. "Let's start by making some chocolate chip pancakes!"
It didn't go as planned. Chris ended up burning the pancakes. So now the 3 of them sit in the Mc. Donald's drive-thru picking out items from the breakfast menu. "I can't believe we are having Mc. Donalds for breakfast, this is the best day ever!" Avery says, waving her arms in the air. "Technically, they're breakfast foods so it's healthy. Also please don't tell your mother" Avery laughs as Chris picks up the food from the window and drives back home.
It's 4:40 in the afternoon. Chris got Scarlet to take her nap, and somehow he ended up sitting in front of Avery while she braids his hair into pigtails. "Done!" she says, grinning ear to ear as she hands Chris a mirror. "Wow sunshine, I look amazing," Chris says holding back a laugh.
"Now tell me, what would you like for dinner?" Chris asks handing her back the mirror. "Pizza, pizza, pizza!" Avery says jumping around. Chris sighs, "You sure you don't want something healthier sweetie?" Chris asks. "Healthy food sucks," Avery says crossing her arms. Chris lets out a chuckle. "How bout' we get pasta instead, huh sweetie. We've had a little too much fast food don't you think?" "with meatballs?" Avery asked. "With as many meatballs as you like princess," Chris says as he tickles Avery. Almost right after, Chris hears Scarlet cry again.
It's 11:30 and Chris and Avery have fallen asleep on the couch. Scarlet is in her crib, and Moana still playing on the TV. Keys jangle at the door before it finally unlocks. You walk into the living room and see Chris and and Avery snuggled up on the couch asleep, you smile and pull out your phone to take a picture. You tap Chris on the shoulder and he jolts up, then falls back down when he realizes it's just you. "hey baby, you're back" he says, flashing you a tired smile. "I am. How'd it go" "Let's just say i'm the favourite now" You laugh before taking a closer look at him. "What the hell happened to your hair?"
336 notes · View notes
nadvs · 3 months ago
Text
out of bounds (part two)
pairing zach maclaren and soccerplayer! female reader
rating mature 18+
summary zach has never been the type to rebel, but when he meets you at a soccer camp where you’re both working as counselors, which has a strict policy against dating between staff, he’s tempted to break the rules for the first time.
» part one
» masterlist
Tumblr media
Your footsteps fall in and out of rhythm with Zach’s as you walk over the soccer field.
Even under the inky night sky, you can easily make out the sharp white lines spray-painted on the pitch as he stands across from you, your back to the net.
As a center back, this is where you spend most of your time in a game, defending directly in front of the goal. You used to love the nerves you’d feel before a match, but by the final month of the school year, you’d start every game already waiting for it to end.
You hope you can fix that this summer. And Zach is the perfect person to practice against since his main objective in his position is scoring.
He picked up a soccer ball from a storage shed on the way over, tossing it in his hands. You wonder if he offers to help all the newbies work on their game or if it’s just you.
“I don’t know if you know this,” you say, “but the ball’s supposed to be on the ground.”
“Most people say thank you when someone does them a favor,” he jokes, dropping the ball and dribbling it between his feet.
“I think you need to actually do the favor first,” you reply.
Zach smirks. He’s always been the type to chase the feeling of fun, and right now, he enjoys how easy things are with you.
He kicks the ball to you, and you stop it under your foot.
“Don’t go easy on me,” you say. “I’m serious.”
Zach sighs with a smile.
“What?”
“Nothing, just… my sister says that to me all the time,” he says. The memory makes his chest pinch. This is the hardest part of being at camp for seven weeks. It’s only been one day and he misses his family already.
At least when he’s at college, he can visit whenever he wants, but at camp, it’s a no go.
“Does she play soccer, too?” you ask. The ball scruffs over the grass when you kick it back to him.
“No, Avery hates sports,” he says. “It’s when we play video games. She kicks my ass and she tells me to stop letting her win when I’m genuinely trying my hardest. It’s embarrassing.”
“How old is she?”
“Ten.”
You smile. It’s sweet that he spends time with his kid sister.
“And she beats you? That is embarrassing.”
He kicks the ball to you with a chuckle.
“So, she’s not interested in coming here?” you ask, considering Camp Summit is for kids in her age range.
“No chance,” he says. He asks about your family and you continue to chat about your home life while kicking the ball back and forth until you eventually decide to do what you came out here for.
“You ready?” he asks, heading backwards a few steps.
“Give me your worst.”
Zach jogs towards you, expertly kicking the ball with every stride, approaching you quickly. You keep your eyes trained on his movements and the ball, reading the opponent’s body like you always do.
You shift between your feet quickly, trying to gain possession. He side-steps and fakes right, but you notice it in the way he’s positioned, and you take the window of opportunity to steal the ball.
You succeed and rush past him, then turn to smile at him, locking the ball under your foot.
“Jeez,” Zach says, hands on his hips. “Nice one.”
“Stop,” you laugh, convinced he’s just trying to flatter you.
“How’d you catch my fake-out?”
“It’s all in your body language,” you say. You kick the ball to him.
“So, you’re looking at my body,” he says, his tone sarcastically suggestive.
“Don’t let it get to your head,” you laugh, heading to where you were standing originally to reset.
“Too late.” He rushes back to the center of the field.
Your cheeks go warm. He wouldn’t risk dating at work. It’s against the rules. You could both lose your jobs.
But what’s the harm in flirting? He seems to like to do it with you just as much as you do it with him.
Zach jogs towards you again and you turn with him slightly, closing the distance once he comes close enough, mirroring him as he darts over the grass.
“It’s good that you don’t dive in right away,” he says between breaths. “I always get past defenders when they rush me.”
“Are you trying to distract me with flattery?” you ask.
“If it’s working, yeah,” he replies.
You laugh and continue to jockey, both of you moving with sharp, fast movements as he shuffles with the ball.
It’s a struggle, but eventually, he gets past you, sending the ball flying in the net.
“One-one,” he says. “You really made me work for it, though, huh?”
As you watch Zach run to grab the ball out of the net, you’re taken by how kind he is. Even after he gets a ball past you, he compliments you.
You refocus when he resets and jogs down the field towards you again. As the night goes on, you start to feel comfortable enough to make contact with each other, brushing arms and legs.
You stop keeping score, but it feels pretty equal by the time you’re huffing from all the exercise.
“You good to call it?” he asks, looking down at you as he pants after you steal the ball from him yet again.
“Yeah. I think that was more than ten minutes.”
His tongue swipes over his bottom lip as he smiles. He completely forgot he was out here with you, under a time limit, all because he was waiting for his friend to escort yours out of his cabin.
“I noticed something you do,” he says as you walk off the field together, taking turns kicking the ball far ahead of you. “You kind of give up when you think you won’t win the ball.”
“Why waste the energy?” you respond with a tired laugh. You check your phone to see that it’s almost 10:30.
“My coach always tells us that you have to believe that you’ll win every tackle,” Zach says. “It seems like you tell yourself you might as well stop trying.”
You consider his words. It’s true. It’s a bad habit you’ve picked up in the past year, a result of your dwindling confidence. And he’s a sharp player for catching that weakness.
Zach watches you, afraid he might have offended you.
“I hope I didn’t - that wasn’t out of line, was it?”
“No, no,” you say. “You’re totally right. Thanks. It’s helpful.”
You reach the dirt path, approaching the storage shed. He puts the ball away and joins you again as you make your way towards the staff cabins in the humid night.
“Gotta be honest,” he says, thinking back to what you said by the fire, “I’m surprised you’re not confident in your game.”
“My team doesn’t do that well,” you admit. It feels like you’re constantly ruminating over last season’s win/loss ratio.
“And what, that’s your fault?” he asks.
“I am usually the last one the other team crosses before scoring,” you say with a shrug.
“Actually, the goalie is.”
“No, she’s great,” you reply. “It’s not on her.”
Zach snorts.
“What?”
“You don’t blame her, but you blame yourself,” he says. “Makes sense.”
You nudge his firm shoulder. The contact is brief and playful and you’re comfortable doing it now considering you got so close on the field.
Zach nudges you back, touching you as if he always does. As if you didn’t just meet today.
“You mad I’m right?” he says.
“A little,” you reply with a small smile.
You reach your cabins. The shirt on his door is gone. It seems like your cabin-mates are back to their respective beds.
“Yeah, I’m still knocking very loudly just in case,” Zach says.
“Good call,” you laugh, heading towards your cabin. “Thanks again for the help.”
“Any time,” he says. You hope he means it.
Ami’s sitting up in her bed when you come through the door.
“Hey,” she says, “I’m surprised the bonfire went that long.”
“It didn’t,” you reply. “I was out practicing defense with Zach. Because his cabin was occupied.”
Ami grins. After she gives you a recap of her time with Malcolm, which she says went no further than heavy making out, she turns the attention back to you.
“How was practice?” she says. “If that’s what actually happened.”
“It is,” you laugh. “Great. He’s really good.”
“At what?” she asks suggestively.
“At soccer,” you laugh again. “We honestly just practiced. And even if he’s into me like that, he seems serious about the no dating rule. I wouldn’t risk it, either. I don’t know what you’re planning with Malcolm but apparently they’re actually strict about it, so be careful.”
“I will, but I’m not worried. We talked about how we’ll only be casual. And discreet. You be careful, too, okay?”
“Nothing to be careful about,” you say with a shrug.
“So, if Zach asked you out, you wouldn’t be down?”
Truthfully, you’re not sure you’d be able to resist dating him, even if it had to be in secret. Zach is impossible not to like.
“It’s not happening,” you simply reply.
Just like every other year, welcoming campers the next morning is havoc. Zach feels a sense of pride when he sees a familiar face, another kid who loved this place so much that they wanted to come back.
After the campers are directed to their cabins, orientation is held at the dining hall, followed by breakfast.
Voices bounce loudly around the hall as kids dig into their food, every counselor sitting at the head of the table with their cohorts.
He makes conversation, asking his boys questions to encourage them to talk with each other. His eyes flit up to you every so often, hoping he doesn’t get caught staring.
You’re sitting a few tables away, smiling as you chat. He almost can’t believe how much fun he had with you on the pitch under the stars last night.
Things are just so simple with you. He doesn’t have to think about what to say, because he knows you’ll play along or just laugh at his dorky joke. He likes you. A lot.
The rest of the day is dedicated to games across the campground, with training scheduled to start tomorrow. At one point, you ask over the walkie-talkies if anyone knows where extra flags for a game are kept.
Zach replies to check the top shelf of one of the storage sheds. You thank him and even though all he does is say You got it, newbie over the radio, you think about the way he said it for much longer than you would if it were anyone else.
Lunch goes by quickly, followed by more games. Throughout the day, Zach has noticed that one of his new campers, Oliver, has kept to himself. He tried to talk with him every so often, but he just got one-word answers.
So, when Oliver approaches him before Zach blows his whistle to signal the start of the last game of the day, he’s hopeful that he’ll ask about the game and finally show some interest in camp.
“I don’t want to do this game,” the little boy says. “I’m tired.”
It’s disappointing, but Zach doesn’t want to push him. Some kids just need time.
“That’s okay,” Zach says. “You can go sit in the shade. No pressure.”
Half an hour later, everyone goes to the dining hall for dinner.
While he eats, Zach is already exhausted and regrets volunteering to do one of the overnight shifts the first day. Every night, four counselors are scheduled to sleep in one of the four camper cabins, so that campers aren’t ever left without supervision.
It’s a guarantee of a bad sleep. Kids are always way too excited to do anything but talk to each other in their bunks on the first night, having to be reminded over and over that yes, even whispering counts as talking.
But Zach has always hated disappointing people, so he couldn’t risk letting down his aunt and uncle by not volunteering. He has the longest tenure of any other counselor here. He needs to set a good example.
After dinner, the kids are given free time before lights out, free to either hang out in their cabins or by the campfire. This gives some of the staff a moment to congregate by the dock, offering the perfect spot to keep an eye on campers without being heard by them.
It’s just past dusk as you stand by the boarded walkway leading into the shallow waters, looking out to your cohort of campers around the fire. You hear Zach ask about how the first day has been.
You look over to see him chatting with a couple of other counselors, a big smile on his face. It’s a good reminder that he’s simply a friendly guy and might not even be into you like that.
But when his eyes land on you and his smile gets a little wider, your heart refuses to agree with your mind. He must feel something, too.
Zach shifts closer to you, crossing his arms. His biceps bulge under his t-shirt. You quickly tear your gaze off of his muscles and up to his blue eyes.
“You surviving?” he asks.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?”
“Don’t know. Some people just don’t have what it takes.”
“You’re so much nicer to the other counselors,” you tease, looking down and shaking your head.
Zach feels himself blush, tense that you’re calling him out for brazenly flirting with you. But when your eyes flitter back to his, he can tell by your innocent smile that you don’t have any intention to embarrass him.
“It’s all an act,” he says. You laugh and cross your arms, mirroring him. “Your kids getting along?”
“I think so,” you say. “They already have their little cliques.”
“Yeah, that happens,” Zach says. He looks out to the campfire and you catch his smile slowly fade, his strong jaw tensing.
“How about yours?” you ask.
“Got one who seems like he really doesn’t want to be here at all,” he admits.
You follow his eye-line to the boy sitting on the steps of a camper cabin, staring down at the book in his hands as he reads under the porch light.
“Usually with those kids, it just takes a few hours and they settle in,” he says, “but I don’t know. I’ll give it another try.”
Sure enough, when Zach crosses the distance and asks Oliver what he’s reading, he answers with the title, then ducks his head to quickly back to reading.
You notice from far away, confident that if you were close enough, you would see disappointment on Zach’s face.
The next morning, Zach is even more tired than he expected. The overnight shift was full of interruptions. He’s sure he’ll sleep like a rock tonight.
As everyone sits in the dining hall for breakfast, you dig into your food, listening to your campers talk to each other.
Then, your eyes drift over to Zach. You realize he was already looking at you. It makes your stomach go numb. He quickly glances away.
You notice that the same kid he talked about last night is sitting at the end of the table, alone, picking at his food. Considering how helpful Zach has been, and simply because you like him, you decide to see what you can do.
Near the end of breakfast, campers begin to clear off and put away their plates, and you walk over and crouch at the end of Zach’s table.
The boy looks up at you with an unreadable expression. You introduce yourself, pointing to your name-tag, asking him his name.
“Oliver,” he says, looking back down. You notice he hardly ate anything.
“How are you liking camp?” you ask quietly. Your eyes dart up to look at Zach at the other end of the table. His lips quirk into a hint of a smile.
“I’m not,” he answers.
“Is there anything that would make you feel better?” you offer.
“Leaving,” he says. You stifle your frown.
“Besides that,” you reply. “And you can be totally honest.”
“The food here sucks,” he mumbles. You look down at the uneaten pancake he’s pushing around with his fork.
“What if we got better pancakes?” you ask.
“I don’t want pancakes,” he replies. “I want waffles.”
“Waffles,” you say with a smile, glad you at least got an answer. You stand. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Oliver looks up at you with surprised eyes. Something tells you that he isn’t used to being asked what he wants and actually getting it.
You head back to your table to rally your girls, but you find Zach before counselors start leading their groups outside.
“You said you had connections, right?”
Zach turns to see you standing behind him, trying to ignore the fact that his stomach flips when he makes eye contact with you.
“Yeah,” he says. Campers rush around you as you stand by the front door of the dining hall.
“If you can sneak in some waffles, I think Oliver might like it a little better here,” you say.
“He told you that?” he asks.
“No, I’m a mindreader,” you tease. “Yes, he told me that.”
Zach smirks as you turn away to rush back to your group. He can’t stop smiling even after you’re gone.
It’s a long, hot day. You were disappointed when you saw the schedule this morning, because while you like all the vets, you had hoped Zach would be one of the counselors you’d be paired with for drills today. Maybe tomorrow.
All afternoon, your walkie kept crackling and losing signal. You mention it to one of the directors, Ruby, when you see her by the main office and she promises to get you a new one soon.
After the campers go to bed, you head back to your cabin, expecting to see Ami. But her bed is empty. You double-check the schedule in the staff group chat to confirm she isn’t one of the overnight shifts tonight.
You figure she’s hanging out somewhere else on the campground. You settle in for the evening with a shower, then get into your pajamas and decide to do some skincare and self-pampering.
Zach lets out a tired, heavy sigh when he sees Malcolm’s text. He exits the dining hall and steps into the thick night air, rereading the message from his cabin-mate.
Ami’s over. I’ll text when she’s gone.
He just came back from the closest grocery store specifically to buy as many boxes of frozen waffles as he could carry after he got the okay from his aunt. He used up all the freezer space he could find in the dining hall kitchen and now, he just wants to lie in his bed.
He’s not sure what to do. He’s never been that confrontational at work, preferring to keep the peace, but if this becomes a habit of Malcolm’s this summer, he’ll have to say something to him.
He heads towards his cabin, just in case his best friend texts in the meantime. He doesn’t.
Before he can turn around to go sit by the lake to kill time, he notices the light spilling out from behind the edges of the blinds on your cabin window.
Maybe you’d like to keep him company like you did the other night. Without much more thought, he knocks on your door.
When you open it, you’re in pajamas, your hair wet from the shower, pink gel strips under your eyes.
Zach smiles, thinking you look adorable and wishing he could say it out loud.
“Hey,” you say. You notice he’s still in his work clothes, even though lights out for campers was over an hour ago. “What’s up?”
“I was, um… I was gonna see if you wanted to hang out,” he says, holding up his phone. “I just got the text version of the shirt on the doorknob.”
You laugh and quickly clue in that Ami is with Malcolm next door.
“So, that’s where she is,” you say. “Come in. We can hang out here.”
When the door shuts behind Zach, you wonder if he also feels the weight of the privacy you two have now. This is different from being out on the pitch the day you met. There’s no chance of anyone seeing you behind your closed cabin door. It’s intimate. Almost risky.
“How was your day?” you ask, sitting on your bed as Zach settles on the chair tucked under your desk.
You’re trying to act casual and relaxed, but it’s hard to when you meet his eyes. He’s too cute not to get shy around.
“Well, I just went into town to buy like, ten boxes of Eggos,” he tells you. “That’s a first.”
“Did you really?”
“I thought it’d only be fair if I got enough for my whole group,” he explains. “Turns out we don’t have a waffle maker, but we do have toasters, so it was the best I could do.”
“Nice,” you say. “I’m glad the kitchen staff were cool with it.”
“Oh, yeah,” he says. “I’m actually sneaking in the kitchen tomorrow morning to make them. The cooks have more than enough work, so as long as I don’t get in their way, I think I’m good.”
You still for a second, endeared. You knew he’d make an effort to help Oliver feel welcome, but he’s going to all these lengths just to make a kid happy?
“Anyway, my point is, thanks for the intel,” he says, realizing he’s tiredly rambling. “I appreciate you talking to him.”
You bashfully glance away. He tries not to stare at you. It feels like trying not to stare at you is all he does when he’s around you.
He’s damn near enamored. He likes the smell of your shampoo, the way you look in your pajamas, how sweet your smile is. He hopes his nervousness isn’t obvious.
“No problem,” you say. “So, you haven’t been in your cabin at all since lights out?”
Zach shakes his head, his smile not quite meeting his eyes. He’s clearly tired and bothered by his cabin-mate kicking him out of his room. You wonder if he’ll say anything to Malcolm, but for his sake, you decide to keep the atmosphere light.
“I have a lot of these,” you offer, pointing to the under-eye strips on your face. “You wanna try? It’ll help you relax.”
“Is it that obvious that I need to relax?” he says.
You only smile in response and stand to pick up a stack of multi-colored packets of gel strips from the basket on your dresser and hold them out to him.
Zach’s eyes travel over the colorful array, sitting still as you stand over him. You’re not surprised that he’s actually going along with it.
Some guys would be tense, acting like skin-care is feminine, and therefore, embarrassing, but he’s relaxed and nothing but green flags, like usual.
“Lots of options here,” he says pensively.
“Are you always this indecisive?” you tease after a long moment of quiet.
Zach looks up and pretends to glare, but the dimples framing his stifled smirk give him away.
“You mad I’m right?” you echo his words from last night.
“A little,” he says, just like you did. You got him pegged. He’s always been bad at making choices, especially under pressure.
“I can pick for you.”
“Bossy,” he replies. “But, yeah. Pick. Please.”
You laugh and randomly choose a packet, opening the purple packaging for him and holding out the film. He takes it in his hand, looking at it with furrowed brows.
You decide to help him out. It’s what a friend would do.
“Here,” you say softly, pushing down your nerves. Warm eyes meet yours and you try to act composed. You peel off one of the strips, pressing it up just above his cheekbone. His skin is hot, his stare strong.
You step a little closer, focus etched onto your face, the corners of your lips slightly turned up. As you apply the other strip, your legs brush against his knees and he imagines how nice it’d feel to drag his hands up the backs of your thighs.
You’re so close and so pretty that it almost hurts not to touch you how he’d like to. You’re just as flirty with him and he’s sure you’d want his hands on you like that, but he’d ask before doing it. That is, if you weren’t coworkers.
You can’t help but giggle when you step back to look at him.
“What, is purple not my color?” Zach asks.
“No, it totally is,” you reply. “Keep them on until they feel dry.”
You settle in your bed again, your back pressed against the wall, legs stretched out.
“How was your day?” he says, having to clear his throat. “I never asked.”
“Yeah, you didn’t. Rude.” Zach smiles at your joke. “It was good. My first overnight shift is tomorrow. How was it last night? Did you actually get any sleep?”
“Not really,” he admits. “But the first night is always the roughest. You’ll be fine.”
He fails to stifle a yawn. You figure that after a bad sleep, a busy day, and running an errand in town, he must be exhausted. Once again, like it always does with Zach, your curiosity is too strong to ignore.
“Does this bother you?” you ask, vaguely motioning in the direction of his cabin.
Right now, Zach doesn’t mind Malcolm keeping him out because it means time with you. And while he’d normally say something like that openly, never having been one to shy away from sharing thoughts like these with a girl he likes, the stakes are so much higher right now.
Because dating is against the rules. Because you might reject him. Because he’s actually never been this nervous around a girl before.
“It’s okay,” he simply says. You wonder if he’s just not one to stand up to people.
“I can talk to Ami if it becomes a problem,” you tell him. “I won’t say you said anything, but let me know if you want me to mention it.”
Before he can reply, there’s a knock on your door. You answer it to see Ruby standing at your front step holding out a new walkie.
“Hey,” she says. “Sorry you had tech issues today. We can swap.”
“Oh, perfect,” you say. “It’s no problem. Thank you.”
Zach freezes when he sees his aunt. This looks like… well, it could simply look like two friends hanging out. But it might look like more.
As you take the new walkie and cross your small cabin to exchange it for your malfunctioning one, Ruby catches Zach’s gaze and offers him a genuine but confused smile.
He decides to try to act normal, even though he feels like he just got caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing.
“She’s not going to get in trouble for breaking it?” Zach jokes, pointing to you.
“I didn’t break it,” you reply with a laugh as you hand the old walkie to your boss. “I’m not in trouble, though, am I?”
“Nope,” Ruby says lightheartedly. Zach nervously chews the inside of his cheek. Her tone could mean that while you’re not in hot water, he is.
He watches you shut the door. It’s not like you got caught hooking up. But he wouldn’t even be able to explain what he’s doing here. It would mean snitching on his best friend for breaking one of the major rules staff need to follow.
A rule that it looks like he’s breaking. His stomach twists. He always hated disappointing authority figures, especially ones he so badly wants to impress.
When you settle on your bed again, you notice Zach peeling off the gel strips, his lips in a firm line.
“Everything okay?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he replies. “Thanks for these.”
“Sure. Doesn’t seem like they relaxed you, though.”
Zach tosses the patches in the wastebasket and stands. Your heart sinks when you realize he’s leaving.
“They did. I just wanna lie down,” he says with a soft chuckle, hoping he’s not being terse. “I’m beat.”
“You can rest here while you wait for-”
“No, it’s alright,” he interrupts, heading for the door. You realize his whole demeanor has shifted after Ruby popped by.
Zach looks over his shoulder to see your features drawn in confusion and sadness. He opens his mouth before the words come to him seconds later.
“Sorry,” he says. “It was fun hanging out with you.”
“You, too,” you reply, your smile erasing the hurt on your face. You want to tell him he’s welcome any time, but he leaves in a rush.
Maybe it’s wishful thinking or maybe he’s simply a nice person, but you’re sure you both feel the magnetism between you.
And he must be really freaked out at the thought of you doing something about it, based on how stiff he got after Ruby came by, possibly suspecting that things are more than friendly between you.
The more time you spend together, the thinner the ice you’re skating on gets. You don’t want to risk the fall and cost you both your jobs.
So, as you get up to brush your teeth, you promise yourself that no matter what, you’ll keep things strictly professional. For your sake and Zach’s.
(part three)
divider credit
if you want notifications on when i post my fics, follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications 💘
247 notes · View notes
seospicybin · 7 months ago
Text
TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
Tumblr media
PART III
Hyunjin x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Hyunjin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (14k words)
Author's note: Feel free to vent in my inbox once you finished reading it :)
LANA: In order to test how committed my guests are to the process, I call for help from my former retreat guests: Felix, Chris, and Avery. Their mission is to entice them to find out if they're capable of following the rules outside the retreat.
-
Everyone is going around exchanging hugs and cheek kisses while telling each other's names.
You only remember it now, the name of the girl, it's Avery and she looks like a Malibu Barbie with an Australian accent.
When it's your turn to hug Chris, you have to actively tell your brain to stay calm and not think about how you have a secret crush on him.
"Chris," he introduces himself, opening his arm for a friendly hug.
It's a good thing that he's not shirtless or else, you'd be drooling by now but those big biceps are quite distracting.
"Hi, Chris," you manage to sound coy saying it.
You catch a whiff of his perfume as you exchange a hug and Gosh, he smells amazing. You're staggering as you walk backward to be with everyone else.
"The three of you are Australians," Edie innocently says.
"We' are Australia's sexiest export since... ever," Felix jokingly says then breaks into laughter.
Even his laugh is so attractive, It's sonorous and infectious, inviting you to laugh along with him.
"We came back because we learned so much on the previous seasons that we came to pass the lesson on to you," Avery says, then she glances at the guys standing on each side of her, "Right, guys?"
Felix puts his hand against his waist and puts all of his weight to one side like he's striking a pose in a photo shoot.
"Well, yeah," he says with his nose scrunched, "but also we came here to show you guys how to have fun!"
Chris pops open the bottle of champagne on cue, sending the content spurting out of it and he hurriedly takes a chug to stop it from spilling.
It's unfair how Chris can easily make you feel the slightest bit hot and bothered, just standing there with that wine dripping down his chin. You lick your lips while imagining licking the wine on his veiny neck.
Realizing that you're in the presence of other people, you hurriedly snap yourself out of it.
"Wait, wait, it's not fair that there's three of us and five of them," Avery says while adorably crossing her arms in front of her.
Felix puts his arm around her and brightly smiles, "Don't worry, we'll make it even," he says.
Your head starts looking around the boat, anticipating something and perhaps, anyone's arrival based on what Felix said.
"Give a warm welcome to the two new arrivals!" Avery cheerily announces.
With Lana, it can't be just a boat party, you can tell that she threw this party for certain purposes other than to introduce the new arrivals.
It's wise that you keep cautious with whatever you're doing at this party. You don't want to mess with either Lana or the money, and you surely don't want to mess it up with Hyunjin.
The new arrivals are looking hot and heavy, ready to fuck everybody. The girl is a gorgeous blonde with big, blue eyes named Emile and the guy is a Brazilian man with a chest tattoo, Gustav.
With Chris tirelessly filling the glass and Felix distributing it to everyone, they make sure everyone holds a drink in their hands and is ready for a toast.
"Cheers!" Everyone says in unison, raising their champagne flutes in the air before taking a sip of it.
Things get crazy whenever alcohol is involved so to be safe, you moderately drink your wine and sip as little as possible.
"Okay now we each choose someone to do a body shot with," Felix suggests an icebreaker to fully kickstart the party.
Avery is the one who enthusiastically welcomed that idea and she starts looking for someone to do it with. The boys must be buzzing and whoever gets chosen, he's lucky as hell.
"You," Avery says, pointing in your direction.
You look to the side at Edouard and elbow his side to make him aware of this one-of-a-kind offer.
"No. You," Avery says, talking to you.
Aghast, you unconsciously point at yourself and ask her back to confirm, "Me?"
Avery laughs at the way you reacted, "Come here, my darling," she puts away her drink, then holds her hand out at you.
Half disoriented, you reach for her hand and she makes you sit on the wooden floor with colorful cushions strewn around for people to lay about.
"Now, lay down," she instructs you.
Somehow, you find yourself obeying her words and putting yourself in a compromising position. You rest your head on your pillow and try to stay calm even though everyone is looking at you.
Avery grabs a glass of shot in her hand and she puts all of her hair away on one shoulder, she smiles as she lifts the shot before dripping it onto your chest.
"Oh, my gosh!" You shakily gasp the second the liquid makes contact with your skin, making you shiver from the cold.
But that's the least of the things you should be surprised by. Avery then leans down while keeping her hair down on her shoulder and drinks the puddle of alcohol gathered on the valley of your breasts.
Avery lands a long lick down your front, her tongue feels slick and hot on your skin, making you grip the cushion and try so hard not to squeal.
She seems to enjoy doing it and everyone else can only watch it with envy in their eyes. The laugh she lets out as she lifts her head confirms it.
"Now that's how you start a party!" Edouard says.
Without having to look, you know you're flustered and your hands fly to cover your face, embarrassed. Also, you must admit it gets you a little aroused as well and the party has only started.
-
YOU: In the middle of the sea, on a boat with these sexy, horny people and plenty of booze... [exhales] That's the recipe for chaos.
-
Hyunjin's head is all over the place. He can't stay still and when he finally does, all sorts of thoughts go through his head and they're all not helping him relax.
And he can't help but wonder is this how you felt when he was going on that date with Saskia?
He'll take it as his karma then but he's not the only one feeling restless, the others who are in couples are going through the same things but have different ways of handling it.
Andy, however, is not taking it well. He's going through five stages of grief around the villa.
"When I went on that date with Edie she made it clear that she only wanted to be friends and that she wanted to connect with someone else," Andy croons while tugging his blond hair.
Hyunjin nods to let him know that he's listening to his rant but has nothing to respond to that.
"I think it'll be good for her to connect with someone else," he says with a nonchalant shrug.
That would be nice of him to think so because Hyunjin could never think that way, he wants you to be happy but God, he'd hate to lose you to someone else.
Andy plops onto the lounger next to him and roughly runs his hands through his hair.
"I've already detached myself from her and I feel bad for still wanting to be with her," he grumbles.
"We've all been there," Hyunjin says, trying to sympathize with him.
Hyunjin almost forgot about that part where Andy broke up with Edie. Even though they're no longer a couple now, you can just detach yourself from people but the feelings, they're pretty much still intact.
It's even harder in the villa because the person is there and you have to deal with it face to face.
God, Hyunjin hopes he doesn't need to go through that much pain.
-
HYUNJIN: [Breathing deeply]
-
The boat party is in full swing.
Felix is making sure everyone's glass is filled, Avery is floating around with her wide, bright smile and Chris is playing some party music on his small DJ set-up.
So far so good, no one has broken the rules yet but 'yet' is the keyword here, you get the feeling that it's only about time until someone caves in, and when that happens, it will trigger a chain reaction.
You decide to sit this one out and watch the party from the side, avoiding any potential risk that would lead you to break the rules.
You're quietly sipping your wine while sitting against the big cushion and enjoying the nice, warm sea breeze when the temptation comes over to you carrying a bottle of champagne.
It's hard not to smile whenever he's around and he's smiling at you.
"Do you mind if I join you?" Chris asks.
"Not at all," you reply, scooting a little to the side to make space for him.
"Let me refill it for you," he says, offering to fill your glass with more wine.
In return, you take the bottle from him and fill his glass for him, having a toast to finally have a sip together. He's sitting so close to you, that you can feel your arms brushing together from the slightest of movement.
He looks out at the view of the sun that is slowly sinking into the horizon and delightfully sighs. Then he turns his head at you and asks you something that you're not ready to answer.
"Would you kiss anyone here?"
Well, there is someone you would like to kiss but he's off-limits.
"Oh, I would love to but uh..." you break into a laugh as your eyes meet his.
Chris licks his lips after sipping his wine, "Are you worried about the rules?"
Not the main reason why but yeah, that's one of the reasons. You chuckle and answer, "I've spent a lot of money already."
He cracks a laugh and his dimples appear on his cheeks, "Been there, done that."
As someone who went through this before, you're sure he knows how it felt because there's no other reason why he laughed.
"So, tell me about this guy you've spent a lot of money with," he asks.
You contemplate for a moment how much can you tell but since he's someone from outside of this retreat and went through the same thing, maybe he can give you some insights.
"Well, he kind of messed up a while ago actually," you share with him.
"Ouch!" He exclaims.
"But I found myself still liking him despite all of that," you continue, sipping your wine in between sentences, "It's actually scared me because I think I've lost my head a little."
It's been gnawing inside you, how you doubt Hyunjin will be the right one for you as you get haunted by this fear that he'll make the same mistake again.
Chris holds his drink in the other hand and slightly turns his body to face you, "Maybe losing your head means you're maybe in your heart," he warmly tells you.
You smile hearing his words and you really wish they're true, you're having this doubt because you want this to be something genuine.
"That's what I hope," he adds with a smile.
"Thank you, Chris," you sincerely tell him, clinking your glass with him for another toast.
When you said it's only about time, well, the time is here. As you look around for another bottle of wine, you see Edie and the new guy going at each other's faces like animals in heat.
But that's the least of your worries. When you turn your head the other way, you see Edouard doing body shots on Saskia.
It's not only about the money now, but also loyalty and friendships. You drain your wine glass empty and gasp, "We're fucked!"
-
YOU: They forgot everything! They forgot about the purpose, forgot about Lana, forgot about everyone.
-
Hyunjin can hardly think of anything when you haven't returned on dinnertime. He barely eats his food, he tries shoving a few spoonfuls but has a hard time swallowing them down.
"I'm not hungry," he says, pushing the plate away from him.
"Your plate is still full," Frida says, her voice tinted with concern.
He reclines in his seat and sighs, "I'm too tense."
"I know how you feel," Vic says as she's also waiting for Edouard to return.
Andy pats his shoulder and with a mouth full of food says, "At least you're not worrying someone who doesn't want to be with you."
Well, that's a way to look at the brighter side of things.
The longer you're away from him, the more he worries and his worries affect other people in the vicinity as well. However, there's one person in particular who is having fun in this situation.
"If Edouard kissed someone, would you be pissed?" Diego asks Vic who's sitting cross-legged on the single sofa on the terrace.
"Depends on who he did it with," she answers while picking at her nails.
"If he kissed Saskia, would you be pissed?"
"Very," she answers without a beat.
That gets Hyunjin more alerted, because what if you kissed someone? You know, like out of curiosity? Speaking of experience, he almost did it once with Saskia.
"Do you think they might do something?" Hyunjin nervously asks.
"What do you think?" Diego tosses the question at Vic.
"If I know him like I think I do, I think he won't kiss anyone," she diplomatically answers.
Hyunjin doesn't know how she's doing it but he must admire Vic's patience and calmness in handling this.
"They won't do anything," Andy says, perhaps still stuck in the denial phase.
"If I were with someone here and I went there, and people started kissing each other, I'd probably do it," Diego is here to fuel more gas into the fire.
Frida grabs him by the knee and makes him listen to her, "It is something that I won't do to you because not only it would affect us, but also my friendship with her."
That seems to work on putting some sense into Diego and makes him stop talking altogether.
Hyunjin always thinks highly of you, he knows you wouldn't throw away what the two of you have built together, and that gets him a little hopeful.
"I bet my ass they're doing stuff," Vic remarks out of the blue.
Hyunjin doesn't expect this change of mood, she seems to have reached her limit and can't keep her composure anymore.
Andy sighs and leans back on the sofa, playing with the cushion on his lap, twirling it in the air a couple of times.
"There's a lot at stake today. Relationships, friendships, the house, the money..." he pauses to turn his head to the side to look at Vic, "...Vic's ass."
Everyone laughs at that and it helps to lighten up the mood, the only one who doesn't take it well is Vic.
"Fuck you!" She curses while laughing, hurling a cushion at Andy.
-
HYUNJIN: I hope for the best. But I also expect for the worst [blows air]
-
"Okay, honestly, but there is one person I'd like to kiss here," you suddenly share.
That gets Chris' eyebrow raised in curiosity, "Yeah. Who is it?"
You look him right in the eyes and answer, "I'm looking right at him."
He closes his eyes and grins, from the way his ear reddening you can tell he gets shy from what you said which is why you said that in the first place. That, and because of alcohol.
"But I know you're engaged and all," you quickly add.
He grins wider, and he looks so cute and shy like that, if he weren't off-limits, your head would definitely take a hard turn.
"I may be bad but I'm not that bad," you further explain, giggling along with him.
"So, not because of the guy you broke rules with?"
That catches you off guard and you laugh in embarrassment, "Well, yeah, that too."
"In that order?" He asks again, bumping his shoulder against you.
"Exactly in that order. You then him," you jokingly say.
This time, his cheeks get all red and his dimples sunken deeper into his cheeks as he keeps grinning.
"Guys, let's swim!" Felix shouts at both of you.
To be honest, you feel comfortable sharing the space with Chris and want to stay in it a bit longer. You shake your head and kindly refuse his offer.
"No, I'm good," you tell him.
The screams and squeals of the girls jumping into the water startle you, more so, because they ditch their bikinis.
"Oh, come on!" Felix grumbles, coming over to you and taking you by the hand.
"You're coming too," he shouts at Chris.
He's forcing you to get up and join him, taking you by the end of the edge of the deck. Since everyone is going in anyway, you have no option but to follow suit but decide to keep your bikini on.
"Wait, wait, I have to take this..." you tell him, untying the outerwear you're wearing.
"I'll help you," Chris says, helping you to take it off of you.
You're shivering as his hands brush the skin on your back but it's nothing compared to when he's taking his top off. You don't think this moment will come but here you are, looking at his body in its glory with the golden rays of the sun hitting him just right.
Impatient, Felix gets ahead and jumps into the sea while shouting some gibberish words out loud.
"Do it together, yeah?" He offers.
"Yeah, okay," you nervous answers.
He holds his hand out at you and you take it without hesitating, he counts from three, and on one, you both jump into the water together.
Everyone is having fun, you see Pablo is going at it with the new girl and Edie is simply having the time of her life. She squeal when she finally acknowledges your presence, waddling her way to you and clinging to you.
"Did you see me kissing him?" she whines,
"You mean sucking his soul out?" You joke.
"I didn't know how many times I kissed him," she whines again, putting her hands around you.
"Don't worry. Lana will know," you tell her.
For this once, you don't want to think of the money. You let yourself enjoy it, this moment and the company you're with, and also the beautiful view of the sunset.
-
YOU: I must admit, I had a lot of fun. I really needed that party.
-
Everyone is already waiting in the cabana for your return from the boat party.
You don't know why you're nervous, maybe it's coming from knowing everything that happened at the boat party and you came back with your hair and bikini damp from swimming.
Since there's no space left, you take the remaining spot that is on the far end of the sofa, sitting far away from Hyunjin.
Lana chimes in not long after everyone has settled down.
"Welcome back," She greets everyone who just came back from the boat party, "And welcome to the two new arrivals."
No one seems to realize the new additions to the retreat until Lana mentions them.
"Thank you, Lana," Emilie says with a smile.
"To test your growth, I prepared a party on a boat with the illustrious presence of some of my former retreat guests: Felix, Avery, and Chris," Lana informs.
Frida reacts with a loud gasp, "Really?"
"Yeah. It was so nice to meet them," Edie answers.
"You had no idea. It was awesome," Saskia adds, making her more envious.
"Damn!" Andy quietly curses next to Hyunjin.
Which makes you glance at Hyunjin and he seems a little tense, his jaws are all clenched yet it makes him more attractive.
"As soon as you left for the party, your friends had to choose whether or not to bet on your loyalty to the principles of the retreat."
A scoff slips out of you because your guess is right, you're not new to Lana's hidden agenda, the boat party was a test and you may not broken any rules but you failed nonetheless.
"We can double the prize money you know," Diego says, "All you had to do was to not break any rules."
"Oh, no..." Saskia cringes.
"What did you bet?" You ask, feeling a little anxious if they choose to bet all of the money.
"We bet to put our trust in you," Andy answers.
And that's where you failed, you could have prevented anyone from breaking the rules but you let them happen.
-
YOU: I never thought that they would bet double, that we weren't going to do anything.
-
Hyunjin is nervous, anxious even but when he finally sees you coming, he feels so relieved. Now that you're back, a new question pops in his head: did you break any rules?
His faith wavers a little as he notices that your bikini is damp and so is your hair, and you sit on the far end of the sofa. He doesn't even dare to ask and waits for someone else to do it for him.
"It's a good time to tell us if you broke any rules," Andy says, taking the role to ask the big question.
Edie's hand raised in the air and the sheer smile on Andy's face falters, "I broke the rules. I kissed Gustav," she admits right away.
"We kissed, yes," the new guy, Gustav, confirms with a sly grin.
"I thought the rules didn't apply outside the retreat," Edie innocently says in an effort to defend her rule break.
"Felix and Chris, and uh... Avery, they were encouraging us to break rules, saying that Lana wasn't there," Saskia delivers a weak argument.
Hyunjin is getting more tense with every detail of the boat party getting exposed in this heated argument.
"We held back at first," Edie calmly remarks.
"But you did give in," Remy says, easily diminishing her remark.
"I regret to inform you that many rule breaks were detected," Lana spoils another detail.
"I thought it was only the two of you," Marie says, pointing at Edie and Gustav, "Was there someone else?"
Hyunjin looks around and deeply hopes that he doesn't see your hand raised in the air, he sees Pablo's hand instead.
"Emilie and I kissed," he admits a little too late.
"They threw away kisses," Andy sighs while pinching the bridge of his nose in distress.
Pablo tries to throw the blame back at Edie, "She kissed a lot."
"Everyone did body shots," Edie reveals another detail and her hand flies in your direction.
"I only did one body shot," you defend yourself, "And I don't think that counts."
Hyunjin is fine with body shots, he has done it a couple of times during parties but his concern is who you did it with.
"We also went skinny dipping," Edouard reveals another thing.
And now skinny dipping? He's so wrong to think that you won't do anything, he slumps in his seat, disappointed.
Frida groans out loud, also slumping in her seat.
"Lana, give us the bill!" Diego says, no longer enjoying this.
"Fuck! It's going to be bad, it's double," Andy says in distress.
It takes Lana a moment to calculate the rule breaks and finally comes up with the final result, "All of these rule breaks have cost the group $72,000."
A minute passes in eerie silence as everyone tries to process how much money have lost at that boat party. There were only five people invited and yet they were capable of spending that much money.
"It must have been awesome being there," Marie sneers with a scowl.
"Of course it was," Pablo unapologetically says, being insensitive to his surroundings.
"The prize fund now stands at $60,000," Lana updates the current prize fund.
There's not much money left and with the new guest, he can't guarantee that it'll stay on that amount for long.
"You have the opportunity to develop and learn to connect. Don't take the process for granted," Lana concludes the session with a warning.
-
HYUNJIN: We are paying the price for something that wasn't our fault. All I can do is laugh.
-
It's close to bedtime and you head straight to the dressing room to take a quick shower and put on a pair of comfortable clothes of camisole and white shorts.
You're not purposely avoiding Hyunjin because at some point you'll have to talk to him, you merely give yourself and him some time to process what happened at the cabana earlier.
As you're doing your skincare routine, you see him entering the dressing room with an apparent scowl on his face and you take this as a cue to talk to him.
As he walks past your chair, you grab him by the hand and look up at him, "Hey, let's talk."
He rather seems reluctant to your invite but you don't want to wait anymore, it's a great time to have a talk since the two of you are alone in the dressing room.
You pat the chair next to you where Edie usually sits, "Come, sit here!"
He obeys you without saying anything, sitting facing you and letting you hold his hand on his lap. You have told everything about the boat party but you know you have to assure him that there's nothing else happened other than that.
"What happened at the boat party, I've already said everything that I did. I only did a body shot and nothing else," you tell him, keeping your tone soft and calm.
He gets quiet for a moment and it's his turn to speak so you wait for him to say anything, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb.
He slightly slumps on the chair, sending his long legs spreading open in front of you and you know it's not the time for it but you feel tempted to tease him.
"We were all talking about all of you and the things you probably do there," he says.
You let go of his hand and rest your hand on his thigh all the while your eyes are looking at him, "Yeah?"
"I said if it were me, I wouldn't do that because one, out of respect for you and what we have."
Based on experience, you doubt that his act would match his words but you give him the chance to finish his talk.
"Two, for the group," he continues.
He makes it sound like you are this selfish person who does things as she pleases and you don't care about him at all when in fact, you did nothing on that boat party except for that one bodyshot with Avery.
"It wasn't intentional, someone chose to do it with me," you tell him the reason why you did it, not because you wanted to.
"I'm just—" he abruptly stops talking as if he has a change of mind in the middle of a sentence.
"I know what I feel for you and it's just that I can't act like that I'm okay with what you did," he explains.
You retract your hand off of him and grip the edge of your chair, "I told you, I only did one body shot and nothing else."
"You wouldn't like it if I did it," he hastily replies, almost losing himself there as he gives you an intense glare.
You hate to sleep without resolving it but it's obvious that he's angry so it's best to give him time to cool down and you can talk it all out with clear heads the next day.
-
YOU: He almost kissed another girl on a date and what makes him think that he won't do anything at that boat party? [Scoffs]
-
It's when you wake up that you realize that some people were switching beds last night.
Vic is sleeping with Marie while Edouard sleeps with Andy so you guess she already knew about what happened between Edouard and Saskia. At least, she knew it from Edouard himself and not from someone else.
As for you, you're not going into the talk yet. You still cuddle him and give him a morning kiss, you treat him like usual to let him know that nothing changed between you and him. This is just another thing you need to overcome together and deep down, you know you will.
The morning continues with a mumbling mess that is Vic at the breakfast table.
"I'm only going to try again if he can actually win me over," she says, stirring the scrambled egg on her plate with a fork.
You don't have the energy to deal with drama first thing in the morning so you decide not to meddle and risk saying things that upset her more.
"Then let him win you over," Marie from two chairs over tells her.
"I don't think he understands that he really needs to do the work to win me back," Vic grumbles again, dropping her fork onto her plate.
"So tell him," Marie coyly responds.
Vic sighs and runs her hands through his dark long hair, "But I know I'm never going to work things out with Saskia."
You know it's better not to stay away from it but you can't help it when your friends are going against each other, especially over a boy.
You put down your cutlery and look at Vic, "Vic, I think that you're a grown woman, and whether you want to or not, you should work things out with her."
She subtly rolls her eyes in response, not taking your words when it's possible to do so if one of them is open to reconciliation.
"You could figure this out together," you assure her.
"I am not going to talk to this girl. If she wants to talk to me which she won't then I'll talk to her. But she won't," Vic says with her nostrils flaring in anger.
It's obvious that Vic is not open to reconciliation, moreover, it's tricky considering that she has stubbornness in her. Then there's nothing left to do but tell her which side you're taking and it's neither.
"I just want you to understand that I love you and I also like talking to her. I don't want you to think that I'm two-faced," you carefully explain not avoid getting your words twisted.
"I just want everything to be fine because I like you both a lot," you add.
In the afternoon, Lana called everyone to the cabana as usual and she prepared something for everyone there. There's a TV with the word 'Cinelana' on the screen.
"Cinelana?" Edie says in genuine confusion.
Marie puts all of her hair to the side before taking a seat, "Will it be...?" She wildly guessed with a raised eyebrow.
Not long after everyone has taken their seats, the melodic chime comes and the cone lights up to signify Lana's arrival.
"Hello, everyone."
"Hi, Lana!" Everyone replies in unison.
"How are you?" Lana asks.
"Poor," Frida shortly replies.
"Broke and scared," Saskia answers.
To be honest, you feel more scared than broke. Maybe it's coming from knowing that you didn't contribute to that money deduction.
"From what I can see from your behavior, some forms of physical contact can be more sexual than those prohibited at the retreat," Lana says.
You have a feeling that she's about to expose everyone with this Cinelana and that's what you're scared of.
"But it's better to show than tell."
-
YOU: I have no problem showing everything that happened. Showing the thing I did is fine by me. But when it comes to the others, I don't know.
-
"I want you to see yourselves through my eyes."
The ones who went to the boat party seem to be nervous and everyone pretty much knows what Lana is about to show. Hyunjin can only hope that he doesn't see what he doesn't want to see.
"What is she going to show?" Diego curiously asks.
"Is there popcorn?" Marie casually asks.
"May the first session of Cinelana begin," Lana announces.
Cinelana starts with them having a big toast and from there, things escalate quickly, everyone reacts with a lot of gasps and squeals, cheering when they catch someone doing the rule break.
Hyunjin's heart skips a beat when you come on the screen, a girl pours a drink onto your chest and proceeds to drink it straight from it. He sees that you cover your face with your hands, looking flustered.
He feels a little jealous but not the kind that makes him angry, It's the kind that makes him envy. It's even crazier that he doesn't which one he should be more jealous of, the girl who did the body shot on you or you.
"Calm down. This is just the beginning," you tell everyone.
It suddenly turns quiet when the footage of Saskia and Edouard doing body shots on each other. Hyunjin can't help but look to the side, at Vic who looks uncomfortable and displeased with what she's seeing.
Thankfully, the attention is shifted to Edie who's devouring the new guy with ferocious kisses that get everyone hysterically screaming.
"Wow. Edie!" Diego clicks his tongue at her.
The movie ends with them going into the sea naked and Hyunjin is relieved to see that you told the truth to him, in fact, he should be proud that you stick to the principles even though everyone around you doing the opposite.
"And that's why we're poor," Marie comments as the screen turns dark.
Lana chimes once more, "What do you think about the movie?"
"I liked it, Lana," Pablo jokingly says.
"Do you think this behavior is fair to the group? Would anyone act differently?" Lana asks.
That seems to make everyone turn quiet again, offending the ones who went to the boat party. He turns to the side and sees that you open your mouth to speak.
"For me personally, when I got on that boat, that's when it stopped making sense to me. I realize that I would much rather be here than be there," you say.
You turn your head at him and smile, an unexpected gesture that makes him feel touched. All of a sudden, he doesn't know why he's mad in the first place, you've told him the truth and that should be enough for him.
"I think I'd have acted differently if I knew how much it would affect some people here," Edouard adds with a defeated look on his face.
"Now is the time to think about how are you going to move forward. I really hope you try harder," Lana says.
In other words, Lana demands everyone to do better from this moment on. Hyunjin figures that he should do better too in building this connection with you, he doubted you when he should have trusted you just like you trust him.
"That's all for today," Lana concludes the session.
Now is the time to pick up the conversation from last night. He takes you to the firepit to get some privacy so the two of you can talk comfortably.
"So, what do you think?" You ask, folding your legs on the sofa facing him.
Hyunjin cracks a smile and answers, "I can't even be mad at that. That was so hot."
You burst out laughing and playfully hit his chest, he catches your hand to stop you, pulling you onto his lap. He looks up at you and brushes your hair to the side, "I think I was made because you were gone the whole day," he honestly admits.
A smile rises on your face, "You missed me?"
"So much," he shamelessly answers.
"You're so into me, mmh?" You ask, putting your forehead against his.
"I'm so into you," he shortly replies, ignoring how stupid he sounded.
"Me too," you tell him with your hand cupping his jaw, "I'm so into you."
It's one of those moments that Hyunjin wishes he could freely kiss you just to prove his words to you with actions and it stresses him that he can't do that.
As if you read his mind, you land a soft kiss on his nose to compensate for not being able to kiss his lips and smile when you pull away. It doesn't quite satisfy his needs but it's enough to make his heart pitter-pattering inside his chest.
"We're even now," he jokingly says.
You hit his chest again a little harder this time, "Excuse me? This was different!" You strongly disagree.
He laughs and pulls you closer, what he did that time with Saskia is far worse than someone doing a body shot on you. He nods and immediately agrees with you.
"Okay, okay, but you owe me a body shot," he says, trying to get something out of it.
"That's fair," you agree to it.
-
HYUNJIN: My honest reaction? I liked the movie. It's better than I thought [chuckles]
-
The drama between Vic, Edouard, and Saskia continues onto the next day.
It gets even messier when the girls are doing makeup in the dressing room, it was a nice and quiet afternoon until Vic starts a fight, unprovoked.
"Do you think Edouard was hitting on her?" She asks you, fully aware that Saskia is there on the opposite side of the vanity table, curling her hair in peace.
Hearing that she is being indirectly addressed, Saskia puts down her curling iron and looks at Vic.
"No, he wasn't hitting on me, Vic. It's not like that," she tells him.
Vic acts nonchalantly, she continues putting foundation on her face as she talks, "Then what was it like?"
"He wasn't hitting on me and I wasn't hitting on him either," Saskia remarks.
"If you were hitting on him, then I have a problem with that," Vic argues more instead of dropping the conversation there.
"You think I hit on him? For God's sake, Victoria, don't be silly!" Saskia says with a sarcastic scoff.
The fact that Saskia addresses Vic by her full name only means that she has struck her nerves.
"No, I mean it," Vic keeps arguing.
You hate to get caught in the middle of the conflict so does everyone else on the vanity table but to meddle in is not the best option either.
'Yeah, keep believing that men are so honest. Men always talk their way out of things and the woman is the slut, the woman is the whore," Saskia says, still managing to curl her hair despite being in the middle of an argument.
Vic roughly puts down her makeup brush onto the table with a clang, "But if you led him on—"
Saskia cuts her off to defend herself, "Everyone was drinking, and when you drink—"
And Vic cuts her off midsentence in return, "You led him to believe you wanted him."
Saskia scoffs again and stops doing things altogether, "Oh, so you mean I can't drink? I can't get excited. I can't have fun at a party?"
You grab Vic's hand to stop her from keeping going and escalate things further, filling the room with palpable animosity. You don't want to be seen as taking anyone's side but no one is trying to stop them from coming at each other and turning it into a whole fight.
Looking around for help, you have no one to turn to but the cone perched on the shelf in the dressing room. Before you can ask for help, she chimes in.
Things are getting out of hand that Lana has to intervene, she gathers the three in the bedroom to talk and hopefully, they get to work it out together.
Since there's a party tonight, you continue doing your makeup with the rest of the girls while hoping for the best outcome for the three of them.
You still feel a little tense from being caught in the middle of conflict and Hyunjin seems to notice it. He comes from behind you, putting all of your hair away to the side so he can kiss your neck.
With his hand wrapped around your neck to keep you still, he gently sucking on the skin. You're squealing as he keeps placing ticklish kisses along your shoulder blade.
"Oh, I'm jealous," says the new girl, Emilie.
Somehow, it feels good to know that your relationship is making someone jealous. Hyunjin places another kiss on your cheek before leaving for the bathroom.
"Let's be a throuple," Emilie says as she sits on Saskia's chair.
"A sincere relationship with three people," she explains as if you don't know what it means.
You almost broke up with him when you knew he almost kissed another girl and what makes her think that you'll be okay sharing Hyunjin with her? You give her a pass because she's new so you awkwardly chuckle in response.
-
YOU: Back off, girl. I'm not into this throuple business.
-
It's a real party when everyone is getting along well and having fun.
The talk seems to be a success with Vic looking so much better, she's back to her chipper mood and she's dancing with Edouard. On the other hand, you sense that things between her and Saskia are not doing that well but at least, they're staying civil to each other now.
Putting drama aside, you and Hyunjin are doing better than ever. You trust each other more now and your connection is getting stronger, the next plan is to show true growth in your relationship to earn a green light.
Hyunjin hoists you against his body until your feet are off the ground, you hurriedly cling to him by putting your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist.
"Is this how we're going to do it?" You jokingly ask with a sly grin on your face and your hand massages the nape of his neck.
"In front of everybody? Yeah, that's the idea," he playfully responds.
The fun time has to end with Lana being a party pooper as usual. Everyone knows what to do when the chime comes, heading to the cabana like animals about to get slaughtered. Considering that she crashed the party, she'd better have some good news for the group.
"Hi, Lana. Do you have another movie?" Diego jokingly asks.
"Do you want her to show yours?" Edie pokes fun at him.
Lana skips the casual greeting and goes straight into the talk, you hate whenever that happens because it means she's not pleased with something. But everyone has been behaving well, especially after that huge blow to the prize money at the boat party.
"I see how you talk a lot about finding a connection but I also see that some of you do little about it," Lana says.
There's still hope that this going to turn out well and you cling to that hope.
"Connecting is not necessarily trying to be a couple, but opening up to the process and being aware that mistakes are part of any learning process."
Everyone stays quiet, no one is saying anything but intently listening to what Lana says to know where this talk leads.
"Getting it wrong is one thing. Giving up on the process is another. And that can no longer continue to happen here on my retreat."
"Y-yeah?" Edie stammers, sensing that Lana is onto something, something unpleasant.
"I detected some of you have a lack of interest in new connections. Therefore I need to continue my work here without the presence of some people."
It's only a minute ago you thought about how you need to show growth in your relationship and now you're worried that you haven't done enough. Your hand immediately grabs Hyunjin's as you close your eyes, anxious.
"Two of you must leave the retreat tonight," Lana announces.
-
YOU: And we thought we'd get good news [exhales]
-
The tension in the room heightens as Lana is about to announce the two people being sent home tonight.
Hyunjin is nervous and so is everyone because, at this point, it could be anyone. Lana sees everything and he admits that he hasn't shown enough progress which puts him at risk of leaving the retreat.
"One of you has spoken many times about being a closed-off person, and couldn't see how the retreat would change that," Lana explains the reason why she chose this person.
Hyunjin can think of someone who fits that description, he turns his head to the side where Marie is sitting and she kind of guesses who it is as well.
"The second person I'm eliminating tried opening up to the process at first but it seems that they lost focus on the purpose of the retreat," Lana gives another explanation on the reason why she sent home the second person.
For this one, Hyunjin can't tell who it is but he prays inside that it's not him. He hopes that Lana gives him so more time to continue building this connection with you.
"Therefore, their stay at this retreat has come to an end."
He slowly inhales air and quietly lets it out while continuously wishing that Lana would not call his name.
"Exiting the retreat tonight are..."
He sees no one is feeling safe either because no one wants to go home yet.
"...Pablo and Marie."
He feels relieved that it's not him but it doesn't make him feel good either knowing that someone else has to go. He gets up from his seat to give Pablo and Marie a farewell hug for he found friendship in them.
"Pablo and Marie, it's time for you to leave the retreat," Lana orders.
Everyone standing up to send them off with a wave goodbye and sending well wishes their way.
Tonight started fun and it turned into the opposite in a flip of a switch, but that's life, we never know what's going to happen next.
What Hyunjin knows is that he's grateful that he's still here. He rests his head on your neck as the two of you lie on the bed still dressed in your party costumes, he puts his arm across your chest and pulls you close.
"I'm happy we still have each other," he softly whispers to you.
You endearingly brush his head and place a sweet peck on his forehead, "Me too, baby."
Lana has given him more time in the retreat when it could have been him going home tonight and for that, he feels grateful because he's not ready to go, he can't even imagine himself leaving you.
-
HYUNJIN: It's been hard, but at the same time, I... understand the situation.
-
This morning is the same as like other morning in the retreat.
The lights are on as a wake-up call for everyone at the same time every day. You wake up and see Hyunjin the moment you open your eyes, you give him a morning kiss on the cheek.
You run your hand through his hair and softly greet him, "Morning, baby."
He smiles in response and mumbles, "Morning."
He takes your hand, puts it around him, and leans in to make a trail of kisses on your inner arm, continuing it to your shoulder and neck.
"Morning, fam!" Edie cheerfully greets everyone in the room who is still stuck in their beds.
"It's crazy that sometimes I can see this mole of yours and sometimes I don't," you say in bewilderment as your index finger poked the faint mole under his left eye.
He closes his eyes and blissfully smiles at you, "Want to hear something crazier?"
"Yeah. What?"
"You're getting sexier and sexier every day," he answers while squeezing the flesh on your waist.
"Ouch!" You yelp in pain but that only encourages him to tighten his hold around you.
It's a peaceful morning until someone recognizes what is missing in this room.
"Wait, where's Lana?" Frida asks.
You scramble to turn on the bed to see the cone is missing from its usual place, she usually sits prettily on the small round table in the corner of the room but she's not there.
"Shit! Lana's gone," Edie says, her mouth stays open.
You exchange a glance with Hyunjin but he's also befuddled with Lana's sudden disappearance, well, a staff probably took the cone away while we were asleep but there must be a reason they're doing it.
"We're always in a throuple with her so it's weird Lana is not here when we wake up," Saskia says while cuddling with Remy on their bed.
"She's out on a date with Siri," Andy jokingly says with a satisfied laugh.
"Maybe Lana prepared breakfast for us," Diego wildly guesses, "she's in the kitchen being Lana Ramsey."
Everyone laughs at that one but it starts to get serious when everyone is getting their breakfast and Lana is not there, Andy goes to check the cabana just in case someone misplaced her.
"She's not there either," Andy returns with an answer.
"Do we have to find her?" Gustav confoundedly asks, not knowing what to do since he's still new in this retreat.
"Just don't make us dig sand to find her, please?" Edie grumbles, getting flashbacks from that first day we arrived at the villa.
"Do you think Lana's disappearance is good or bad for us?" Edouard asks, curious about what everyone thinks of it.
"Maybe she needs some time alone, guys," Saskia coyly says with a glass of orange juice in her hand.
Everyone comes up with various theories about Lana's disappearance and they react differently to it, some are nervous, a few are excited and the rest are a mix of both.
"Oh no, she's not here either," Emilie whines as she looks around searching for the cone in the dressing room.
"Maybe she's tired of us?" Frida coyly says, plopping onto her usual seat at the vanity table.
Vic hands you a bottle of sunspray and turns her back to you, "As long as she doesn't take the money with her, I'm cool," she says.
You turn on your chair to help her spray her backside evenly and make sure you don't miss a spot, you've been doing a very good job at it considering that her skin remains pale while everyone else has gotten tan lines.
"I think Lana is watching us from afar you know when you leave kids by themselves to see if they're going to misbehave or not?" Saskia comes up with another theory.
Her theory is the most plausible one, it's Lana we're talking about, just because she isn't there doesn't mean she's not watching. She wasn't there during the boat party yet she knew everything that happened.
"She probably sitting in the control room laughing at us right now," Edie jokes.
However, the scariest part of this is not the disappearance but what will happen with Lana not around to keep everyone's behavior?
-
YOU: This can't be good. She's just gone like that?
-
Wait, is everything allowed now?
With Lana disappearing this can only mean that the rules no longer exist as well and that gets Hyunjin excited. He's been good all these times so he thinks he deserves, at least, a little something for his good behavior.
"Lana is gone. The rules are off," Hyunjin mutters as he styles his hair next to Diego in the bathroom.
Diego chuckles and sprays some hairspray into his hair, "I don't know, man, I think that's a bad idea," he disagrees with him.
"Why don't we kiss to test the water?" Hyunjin boldly suggests.
Diego shoves him to the side in reaction to his crazy idea, he gets it that he's been careful with Frida ever since they got the green light. He then leaves the bathroom only for Edouard to come and take his spot.
"Lana's gone. What does that mean?"
Hyunjin's question is not merely a question, it's a test to find out which side Edouard is on: the side that wants to break the rules or the other side that thinks Lana is still watching.
"There's no rule, bro. Know what I mean?" Edouard says with a devilish grin as he combs his hair to the back.
This is the energy that Hyunjin seeks from someone and he feels more confident now knowing he's sharing the same brainwave with someone in this retreat, an accomplice to his mischief.
"Bro, I'm definitely breaking the rules tonight," Hyunjin boldly remarks with a wild, wide grin.
"Been holding it in for so long," Edouard says in continuation of Hyunjin's remark.
"This is going to be a mad night!" Hyunjin concludes with a wicked grin on his face. He raises both hands in the air at Edouard and claps their hands together for double high fives.
Tonight, Hyunjin wants to do a lot of things with you and he'll make sure that it's going to happen.
-
HYUNJIN: My plan for tonight is to give her the best night of her life [smirks]
-
"As soon as I found out Lana's gone, everything I learned from the retreat has gone out of the window," Vic openly admits.
The dressing room is buzzing and the girls are exceptionally energized tonight, maybe it's the fact that the cock-blocker is nowhere in sight. Vic's words are true, it feels like everyone is back to their default settings and forgot about the purpose of the retreat.
"Okay, but out of all of the boys, who is most likely to break the rules tonight?" Emilie curiously asks while swinging her mascara wand in the air.
"Pfft... I hope it's Edouard," Vic mumbles.
Edie smacks her lips together then places her hand on your forehand, "To be honest, I think it's Hyunjin," she says, sticking her face at you.
"Oh, yeah," Saskia agrees with an exclamation mark drawn on her face.
Frida chuckles and glares at you, "You better be satisfied tonight 'cause if you ain't, girl..."
"You'll be satisfied tonight," Edie teases you with a sing-song tone while shaking your shoulders.
Their assumption is only making you nervous because of how it comes close to the truth. Hyunjin is and has been ogling at you. Not that he never ogled at you before, he does it more often today and it's not hard to read his mind when he's acting like that the whole day.
Hyunjin chooses the firepit to spend some alone time with you, he makes you sit on his lap even though the sofa could fit seven people. You don't have to second guess everything, you know exactly what he's trying to do.
"Are you alright?" He asks, splaying the hand resting on the small of your back.
"I'm feeling good, babe," you reply with a convincing smile and hope it's enough to hide how nervous you are inside.
His other hand rubs down your thigh and plays with the hem of your skirt, all the while he's putting on this gaze that is soft yet intense and lustful.
"You look very, very cute," he compliments.
He touches the strap of your top and then your hair, "Cute dress, cute smile, cute everything."
Wow! He really is trying hard to win you over and put that sweet mouth to use, and you need to toughen up more.
"Thanks. You look gorgeous," you compliment back.
Hyunjin is wearing a plain white shirts and leaves the top three buttons open, exposing his firm chest muscles and soft skin, inviting you to touch.
Instead of giving in to your intrusive thoughts, you start buttoning his shirts.
"Why are you buttoning up my shirts?" He asks while chuckling.
"So you don't get cold," you simply answer with a suppressed laugh.
He ends up unbuttoning them again and parts the opening of his shirt wider to entice you more. You look away to keep your composure and look back at him when get yourself under control.
But Hyunjin steps up his game, he mixes his sweet words with some physical touches, weakening your defense system with each passing second.
He brushes your hair to the side and holds it there, "You know I never thought I'd meet somebody like you. You're such a lovely person," he mutters to you.
You reach for his hand and put it down, you're holding it on your lap after.
"That's very sweet of you," you reply with a smile.
He brings your hand to his mouth and then places a soft kiss on your knuckles, reminding you of how plush his lips are.
If this keeps going, you don't know how long you can restrain yourself.
-
YOU: I'm not sure if Lana's testing us, but I'm going to try really hard to not break the rules.
-
Hyunjin knows which side you're in.
You don't want to break rules while Hyunjin is doing exactly the opposite of that. He can see your defense is up, you're a little rigid, you're being cautious with everything you do, and trying so hard not to fall to his charms.
It's a good thing that Hyunjin has a lot of charms and a strong will to crack your defense. He did it once, he just needs to do it again, except that he needs to do it better this time.
He swipes his thumb across your lips and does it carefully to not smudge your lipstick.
"I miss kissing you," he says in his low, sultry voice, "I want to feel those soft lips again."
You nervously chuckle and slip your hand into the hair on the back of his head, "We've known each other better and I don't think we need to put pressure on ourselves to do anything," you tell him.
Hyunjin drops his other hand to your leg, resting it on the back of your thigh and lightly rubbing the skin with his thumb.
"We could do something," he says with a low laugh, "We can break the rules tonight. Like... why waste the opportunity?"
You chuckle again, tilting your head to the side, away from him to put a safe space between you and him. But, he only needs to close that safe space so he leans in.
"A little kiss, come on," he sweetly whispers.
You cup his jaw and fondly smile at him, "I'm rather suspicious that this is actually a test," you say.
He playfully pinches the skin on the back of your thigh and seductively smiles, "Just a bit of fun. No one will find out," he assures you.
He gets a move on by planting kisses on your neck, fluttering little kisses that he's sure make you tingling inside. He puts his hand on the nape of your neck so he can angle your head as he pleases.
He tilts your head to the side and presses his mouth to your ear, "You're so special to me."
He notices that you're slowly lowering your guard down, your eyes are fluttering shut and your hand helplessly gripping the front of his shirt. All it takes is a bit more of his charm.
"You're my special, special, special," he places a kiss along your jaw every time he repeats that one word.
"Special girl," he murmurs for the last time and then he crashes his lips against you
There is no way you will say no to his kiss, not when he kisses you so passionately, lathering your lips with his, soft on soft, slowly and tenderly.
He pries open your mouth with his tongue to taste you more, he uses his teeth to gently bite your lips and puts his hand in the right place to gain access to deepen the kiss.
You break the kiss first and immediately gasp for air, the next thing you do is wipe the lipstick mark around his mouth.
"Does the color look good on me?" He playfully asks.
"Yeah," you shortly reply.
"Put some more then," he teases.
This is only the first rule break of many and it's already a success.
-
HYUNJIN: Told you, Hwang Hyunjin always gets what he wants [nonchalantly shrugs]
-
Now that he's already got what he wants, you hope it's enough for him.
Honestly, you didn't know how you also needed that until he kissed you. You stay in the firepit while everyone else is starting to turn in for the night and the two of you are the only ones still outside.
He brushes your hair, putting it away from your face, and holds your head in his hands like you're a fragile object.
"Should we do something else?" He jokingly asks.
Gosh. You hope he's not seriously asking to do more than a kiss. You pretend to not hear it and take his hands in yours.
"It's getting late," you tell him with a pout and half-shut eyes, showing him that you're getting drowsy even though you're not.
He gently rubs your chin and softly asks, "Want to head inside?"
You nod and smile, "Mm-hmm."
It's a relief that Hyunjin stops trying, you feel like you can properly breathe now as you get off his lap. He gets up from the sofa too and leads the way back to the villa.
You may have failed not breaking the rules but you've tried your best to show some restraint until Hyunjin stops by the terrace and turns his head to the side.
"Want to check the suite first?" He asks.
You nervously chuckle and jokingly ask, "Is it even open?"
Your words only encourage him to take you there and check it. You deeply wish the suite is locked or else, you don't have any other reasons not to get in there with him.
To your dismay, the suite is unlocked.
Hyunjin opens the door and lets you in first. The suite looks exactly like the last time you've seen it, except, there's no chilled champagne, no rose petals on the bed and it's dim with no lit candles in sight.
He closes the door behind him and then goes straight to the bed, sitting on the end of the bed with his legs spreading open.
You're nervous to even get close to him, afraid of what it would lead to. You stand in between his legs, not sure what to do in this enclosed space with him.
Hyunjin puts his hands on each side of your waist and pulls you close, he then buries his head in your chest. You both stay like that for a moment with you softly scratching his head.
He then lifts his head and looks up at you, "I want it to do it," he straightforwardly says.
He loops his arms around your waist and closes the gap between your bodies, "Do you want to do it?"
You don't want to be a hypocrite by saying no when the truth is you want it, you want it so bad that you don't want to resist anymore.
"I do," you honestly answer.
"But it's a big decision," you add with a thin smile.
With Hyunjin, you know you want more than just casually dating each other, you want this to be a genuine relationship, and in a genuine relationship, having sex means taking a step further into a more established relationship.
"You know how I feel about you so let me show you that," he says.
He slightly rises from the bed just to place a kiss on your jaw, "I'm only waiting for you to say the word," he says.
The moment you step into the suite, you know that you've made up your mind and honestly, you're tired of pretending like you can resist him.
You take a deep breath and hold his head in your face, you look into his eyes to seek assurance that you're ready for the next step.
Instead of using words, you plant your lips on him and let your kisses answer it for you.
-
YOU: How am I going to resist Hyunjin?
-
Hyunjin wastes not another second, he takes your top off, exposing your half-naked body to him and he gladly buries his head in between your breasts. He takes one into his mouth while the other one is being fondled by his big hand with his fingers circling your nipple.
"Baby, be gentle, please?" You whine when he accidentally sucks too harder.
He keeps your words in mind but sometimes his body won't obey his commands, it's like it has a mind of its own, a mind that is so hungry for you and only knows a lot of ways to devour you.
He lifts your leg, making you straddle him to satisfy his need for closeness. He crashes his lips against yours again and again yet, can't get enough of it.
Without him knowing, you manage to undo all of the buttons on his shirt and he helps by getting rid of it for you, hurriedly tosses it aside so he can hold you again.
"You never cease to amaze me, baby," he tells you before roughly leaning in to kiss you again.
It's quiet in the room except for the sounds of his lips placing kisses all over you. Your skirt is all hunched up around your waist, your hands are cupping your breasts and Hyunjin keeps going down south, continuing the trail of kisses to your feet.
He then kneels on the bed and looks down at you, his dark lustful eyes traveling down your body, making him realize that you still have your skirt on.
He tugs his fingers on the waistband of your skirt and softly he says, "Raise your hips for me, baby."
You obey right away, raising your hips high enough to let Hyunjin pull your skirt down and off your legs, leaving you with nothing but lacy underwear, the fabric is so thin he can see through it, the thing that endlessly tantalizes him.
He grabs both of your legs, holding them close to his chest before parting them open. He turns his head to the side, bringing your ankle close to his mouth to kiss it. He doesn't stop there, the kisses continue to your inner thighs.
Hyunjin doesn't bother to remove it first, he dives right into your clothed cunt, his greedy mouth full of your flesh and your underwear soaked wet from his saliva.
He's enjoying, enjoying it so much that he puts your underwear to the side so he can taste you better, his slick tongue and his soft lips drenched in your wetness.
He can hear you moaning but it's somewhat muffled, he pulls away for a moment and looks at you between your legs.
"Moan louder for me, baby. I can't hear you with my head between your thighs."
Well, the only way he can make you moan louder is by pushing the right button. He adds his fingers to the combination, giving you the utmost pleasure by moving them in sync.
You keep arching your back and grinding at his mouth, enough to tell him that he only needs to continue his delightful assault to get you to your release.
"Baby, oh..." your voice cracks as your eyes screwed shut, overwhelmed with pleasure.
He kisses your inner thigh as he watches your cunt soaking wet with a mix of your essence and his saliva, but it's your gushing hole that makes him impatient to be inside you.
"Why are you so good with your mouth?" You ask in awe, half panting from all the moaning.
Well, Hyunjin takes pride in his prowess at giving head and it gives a boost of confidence to show you what else he's good at. He pulls the duvet until it covers both of your bodies so as to not expose yourselves to the cameras installed in the room.
Under the cover, he manages to take your underwear off without looking and plays with your bundle of nerves after, feeling it swelling and pulsating under his touch.
"I'm good with my hands too," he says.
You shyly smile and pull him for a kiss, but you show him you want the other thing. You put your hand inside his jeans and his boxer altogether, easily finding his hard cock and wrapping your hand around it.
"So hard. So big," you breathlessly murmur against his lips.
"So ready to be inside you," he finishes your sentence.
You crack a laugh and peck his lips, "Well, what are you waiting for?"
It's good to know he's not the only one being impatient here, but first, he has to get rid of his jeans and put
"Give me a minute to get a condom on," he gives you a peck before rolling to the side of the bed.
He sits on the edge of the bed, rummaging through the small drawers on the bedside table to find a condom, and then takes his jeans off. He unwraps the foil wrapper and carefully rolls the rubber down his length, it's not hard to do so when he's fully erect and it's all because of you.
Once he makes sure he properly put the condom on, he climbs onto the bed and gets under the duvet with you, arms instantly wrapped around you.
The only fear that still lingers in him is that he won't last long considering that he's been refrained from any sexual activities for these past couple weeks. What if he cum the second he put himself inside you? He wants to make the first time having sex with you a special moment, not a humiliating one.
"I want to do it with you," you tell him out of the blue.
It's as if you heard his mind, you assure him that this is what you and there's no pressure whatsoever, you merely want to do it with him.
"And I want to do it with you," he says back with a soft smile on his small face.
You put your hands around his neck and pull him for a kiss, "Let's do it together."
In that moment, Hyunjin gets hit by the realization that everything else doesn't matter. What matters is this moment with you.
He kisses you, fueling himself for what he's about to do next, and while brushing your hair to the side, he says, "I'm going in, yeah?"
You nod with a smile, permitting him to enter the most sacred part of your body.
It's tricky to keep the duvet from sliding off of him as he kneels on the bed again, he then takes your legs and parts them open. He starts by repeatedly rubbing his length against your slit, using your bodily fluid as a lubricant.
With the reminder to be gentle, he uses his tip to tease your entrance before slowly easing himself inside, little by little. You're breathlessly moaning as you keep taking his length so well that Hyunjin can only watch as his cock disappeared into you with your mouth agape.
The only time his eyes stray away from your cunt is to see you moaning with your eyes closed and your hands squeezing your breasts.
A moan slips past his mouth when he is fully sheathed inside your warm, velvety walls and he's not ashamed of it. He keeps groaning as the pleasure of being inside you gets to him, sending his brain close to short-circuit.
He glides his hand up your front and holds the hand cupping your left breast, "Do you see that, baby?"
Hyunjin is eyeing his cock fully buried inside you to the hilt, the image is being imprinted in the back of his head as he thinks out loud.
"I look so perfect inside you, don't you think?"
You nod in a way that is innocent but arousing at the same time which reminds him of how much he wants to ruin you.
He rubs his hand up and down your inner thigh, admiring the view of your body and how it's connected with him.
"You feel so good," he lowly mutters.
He glides his hand up to your chest and kneads on your breast, "I think I need a moment."
Hyunjin takes a minute to adjust himself inside you, how good it feels to be wrapped in your warmth, tight walls, and the way you clench and unclench around him in the slightest of movement.
He kisses you hard and deep to finally start moving and feeling his cock launches deeper and deeper for every thrust into you.
He keeps kissing you and when he's not, moans keep spilling out of your mouth, and calling his name in between those moans. Your bodies eventually move in sync and work together to chase that release.
When Hyunjin finally snaps, he has a moment of clarity. He couldn't believe that he managed to not do it the last time he was here, he had that much restraint in him but now, all bets are off and he's fully aware that it's his biggest gamble yet.
-
HYUNJIN: Best believe, I'm going all in tonight.
-
The next morning, Lana is still no-show.
You know she'll be back at some point but you feel a little relieved that she hasn't, you don't want to deal with that yet. You still want to live in this bubble together with Hyunjin.
"Good morning, angel baby," he sweetly whispers into your ear as he spoons you from behind.
You giggle as he places ticklish kisses on your bare shoulder and neck. He holds you close as he rests his head in the crook of your neck to get a little extra sleep.
The two of you returned late from the suite and sneaked into the bedroom while everyone else had fallen asleep. You see that no one is suspecting anything but Lana's sinister disappearance.
"Lana, girl, how long are you going to hide?" Frida asks while twisting her curly hair and securing it with a hair claw.
Thinking about Lana gets you a little uneasy, you break away from Hyunjin's hold and sit on the bed, offering your lap to let him rest his head on.
He gladly does that, resting his head on your lap and putting your hand in his hair, asking you to play with his dark, silky locks.
"Lana is not running away with our money, right?" Andy asks in a panic.
It's funny that he puts a sense of ownership over it when it's no one's money in the first place, and Lana has the right to run away with the money if she wants to.
"Did anyone break the rules last night though?" Diego asks around, scanning the room with his eyes.
Everyone is playing innocent, shaking their heads or completely ignoring the question like you and Hyunjin did. Avoiding it doesn't mean you're not free of guilt, it's there and it's pooling in the pit of your stomach, making you feel faint.
After lunch, you share the hammock with Hyunjin, simply enjoying each other's presence and the beautiful view of the sea.
"Last night felt like a dream," he says out of the blue.
You get butterflies whenever you recall moments from last night and you find yourself smiling like a fool, "Yeah."
The memories are still fresh in your brain, you remember every detail from the way he looked at you, touched you, kissed you, where he put his hand on your body, and oh... just everything.
He puts his arm around you and puts his head against yours, "I didn't regret doing it with you. It was special to me," he tells you.
"You made me feel special," you sincerely tell him because that's what he made you feel last night: nothing less than special.
"Last night, we took a big step in our relationship," he says.
You nod in agreement.
"Whatever happens, we're in it together," he says, pressing a kiss on your temple.
Of course, he knows that you need comfort and assurance, that's why he said those words. You gently hold his jaw and place a tender kiss on his cheek.
"We're in it together," you repeat his words back to him with a smile.
Hyunjin is right, whatever happens, you shouldn't be afraid because you're not alone, you're in it together with him.
When you walk back to the villa, Andy comes running toward the two of you, his blond hair bouncing on his head.
"What's going on?" You ask him.
"It's Lana. She's back," Andy answers.
-
YOU: I knew it was all too good to be true [exhales]
-
"Anxiety is back, my friend," Edouard shouts as he takes a seat on the curved sofa.
No shit. Your legs are shaking, your hands are sweating and you press your lips together so that it forms a thin line on your face. Even with Hyunjin sitting next to you, you can't seem to relax.
"Even though my conscience is clear, I'm tense," Frida says then lets out a sigh.
The cone is there on the table and she's quietly glaring at you. When she chimes, you almost jump on your seat.
Everyone is gasping in response to her return, even though you know no one is expecting she will be back this soon.
"Hello, everyone," Lana starts with her usual greeting.
"Hi, Lana," you weakly reply with your knee bouncing against the floor.
"Yesterday, I disappeared from the villa to test how you would behave when left to your own devices. Just as you will be in the real world after my retreat," Lana explains.
You do not like where this is going but you have nowhere to go either, you have to face the music.
"Despite my absence, my sensors kept monitoring your every move," Lana further reveals.
"I knew it!" Diego exclaims, triumphantly fisting the air.
Emilie shakes her head and sighs, "It was all too good to be true.
Your guess is not off the mark either, you were right that this was all just a test from Lana and you clearly failed.
"I am very disappointed to report that there were several breaches of the rules," Lana informs.
This is where the witch hunt begins, everyone is looking at each other and trying to spot any guilty faces. Somehow, you manage to keep a straight face despite your heart beating out of your chest.
"Anyone want to start?" Diego asks.
You see Remy and Saskia are glancing at each other and then she turns her head to face everyone again.
"We had a kiss," Saskia comes clean.
"We had a chat, we got carried on. Just once, I swear," Remy explains the details and ends it with a sincere apology.
"There was another breach of the rules," Lana will not stop exposing the rule breakers until they come out with the truth.
Remy and Saskia had it easy because it was their first time breaking the rule and it was only just a kiss. You can't compare it to what you've done with Hyunjin.
"We also kissed, Edouard and I," Vic immediately admits, not holding back from telling everyone about it.
"I just thought that the rules were off," Edouard coyly explains, but the grin on his face tells otherwise.
"Told you, Lana was watching the whole time," Andy tells him.
"I'm sorry," Edouard quickly apologizes to end the conversation.
"The prize fund now stands at $48,000," Lana updates the current amount of prize money.
Everyone must think that's the end of it, that no one else breaking the rules and losing $12,000 is the worst anyone could have done to the prize fund.
You hate to break it to them but they haven't heard the worst of it, you look at Hyunjin and he's pinching at his lower lip which is something he does whenever he's nervous.
"However, there was an additional, serious breach of the rules," Lana further reveals.
-
YOU: I don't know what's coming but Hyunjin and I might be in some trouble.
-
Hyunjin knows he's got to be a big boy and owns up to his mistake. Also, he can't stand seeing you all tense and anxious next to him.
Before it gets messy and uncomfortable for everyone, he leans forward in his seat and starts talking.
"Last night, we... uh," Hyunjin couldn't find any words that would help him soften the blow.
He takes a deep breath and tries again, "Last night we took a step further—"
He gets cut off as everyone else starts groaning in response, knowing the rest of the sentence without him needing to finish it. A few of them seem to have expected this to happen and most of them are disappointed in him.
"This is all my fault, I messed up and I do feel bad," he sincerely says.
He looks at everyone, each and every one of them eye to eye, then with all of his heart, he apologizes.
"I'm sorry," he earnestly says.
"You yet again failed to show any form of restraint and broke the ultimate rule of my retreat, sexual intercourse," Lana says.
Hyunjin didn't think that it would hit him this hard, he may have said he did not regret what he did last night but he regretted acting so selfishly.
"There was $48,000 in the prize fund but because of your numerous rule breaks last night, your prize fund is now at $0," Lana finally drops the shocking news.
There's no money left in the pot anymore and it is all his fault, he understands if everyone is disappointed in him or even hates him for it. He deserves it.
"The prize fund is at $0. However, there will be more tests and opportunities to replenish the prize fund," Lana suddenly shares uplifting news.
It's very rare for her to share good news after bad ones and the mood turns a little lighter, everyone is cheering and applauding for the good news.
"Yes, Lana!" Diego exclaims while clapping his hands together.
"Now I need everyone on their best behavior!" Frida scolds everyone.
But as we all know, happiness is fleeting because Lana hasn't finished with the announcement yet.
"But not for all of you."
Everyone knows what that means and it means she's going to send someone home. He hates to admit it but he has a feeling that Lana is going to send you and him out of here.
"Oh, my days!" Edie whines, fanning her face as she gets red all over from holding her tears.
"No, please, Lana," Saskia hopelessly begs at the cone.
His thought somehow manifests into reality as Lana calls both of your names and his heart drops to his stomach.
"Please stand up!" Lana orders.
Hyunjin can't even feel the ground beneath him as he gets up from the sofa and takes a stand, he puts his arm around you and holds you close, providing you comfort even though he knows you're just as anxious as him.
"As a couple, you have broken the most rules but one of you has shown more disregard for the rules than the other. And that person will be going home," Lana announces.
"Oh, my god," Edie whines again, burying her face in her hands.
"The person leaving the retreat is..."
Deep down, Hyunjin knows that Lana is sending him home, he looks at you and holds you tighter. He can see that you know that he knows.
"...Hyunjin."
-
HYUNJIN: At the end of the day, you can only point one finger and that's at me.
Support my blog by kindly reblog, comment or tip me on my ko-fi!
-
@svintsandghosts @abiaswreck @ppiri-bahng @drhsthl @idkluvutellme @biribarabiribbaem @skz-streamer @biancaness @hanjisunginc @elizalabs3 @laylasbunbunny @kpopformylife @caitlyn98s @hann1bee @mamieishere @is2cb97 @marvelous-llama @bluenights1899 @sherryblossom @toplinehyunjin @hanjisbeloved @yourmomscuntis2tighy @sunnyseungup @skz4lifer @stellasays45 @severeanxietyissues @avyskai @imseungminsgf @silentreadersthings @army-stay-noel @rylea08 @simeonswhore @jebetwo @yubinism @devilsmatches @septicrebel @rairacha @cutiespaghetti @ven-fic-recs @hyunjiinnnn @lostgirlinthewoods @chartrucewhore @kkamismom12 @lixiebokie
468 notes · View notes
felicity-worthington · 5 days ago
Text
Why is “Doctor Odyssey” a television show that very cleverly shows the depth of the human condition?
So, I have seen some people say that Doctor Odyssey is fun (especially because of Ody3) but also just a superficial show with no plot and I have to politely disagree. I think this show is the opposite, it's just supposed to look silly and superficial at first glance, as you can see when they repeat the phrase "we constructed a paradise" in the weekly recaps.
It is supposed to look like that, it is the idea of a cruise itself, for a week you escape the real world, you enter a new constructed one, which is supposed to be paradise without problems. But here's the thing, here is why there's a doctor and two nurses on this ship: it's just an idea, it's not real.
We especially see this in the episodes "I Always Cry at Weddings" and "Quackers" and of course in the main storyline of Max, Tristan and Avery navigating their relationship and their constant struggle with what they really want in life.
Let's start with "I always cry at weddings" to deconstruct the idea of superficiality with the weekly funny themes and the show only being silly because it's quite obvious here I think. I mean, a man commits suicide in this episode because he's deeply conflicted about what he really wants out of life and how he thinks there is an incurable darkness within him. And we see him, his bride and his best man as an example of how this construction, this idea of heteronormative happiness is just that for a lot of people: just an idea that doesn't guarantee you happiness, but actually destroys lives (not everyone's, of course). And we start this episode superficially, with a couple about to get married on a cruise, the perfect wedding in perfect paradise. But as the episode progresses, we see the cracks and then it gets very real. The scenes with the groom breaking down in the infirmary, the bride talking to Avery and Max after the suicide and her mother's confession are all absolute tearjerkers in the best way. I mean, watch that scene and then tell me again that this show is just a silly Riverdale for adults:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is actually one of my favorite scenes of the show because the delivery of the line "we need to help this boy" is just perfect, the actress did an amazing job. Also, the character herself says "she pretended her fears away", which underlines the show's idea that this is a paradise where people should just forget their worries, but actually real life catches up with you no matter where you are, you cannot hide from it.
The other example I was thinking of is the latest episode with the Quackers community, which is super silly in a lot of ways and I love that, don't get me wrong.
And then you have this older couple, the leaders (?) of this community, who seem extremely superficial and silly, I mean, going on cruises to go on a quack treasure hunt? So silly. BUT then the cracks start to show again as one of them, the husband (I don't know what his name was, so I'll just call him the husband and her the wife), shows a serious condition, the compulsive urge to swallow objects. When confronted, the wife literally denies it, unable to face the ugly truth. In her world everything is perfect, she and her husband are on a never-ending treasure hunt on paradise cruises, and when something real, something problematic threatens that, she can't accept it at first. And we see that again later in the episode when she refuses to leave the ship:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
She wants to stay in paradise, in denial, on the surface. But that's not possible, you can't ignore real life:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
But this is her and her husband's dream, an endless paradise in search of ducks, and it's hard to let go and take a deeper look at life and accept that floating through life is a nice idea and might work for a while, but it can't go on forever:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
regarding her husbands condition:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Once again the theme of what we want (superficial) and what is really going on (what is behind the construction of paradise) is mentioned.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
All of this, and all of the recurring themes I mentioned, are also at play with the three main characters and their constant struggle with what they really want out of life. In a way, their calling to help people is fulfilled by their professions, but then they keep asking themselves, "Is this enough? Is this what I really want out of life, taking one cruise after another?
The theme of constructed ideas versus what is actually going on is also seen in their throuple situation. Max and Tristan have probably always seen themselves as straight, and now they are getting a deeper look at who they are and what they really want out of life. And that is scary, and it often takes years to deconstruct habits and self-image.
But there is no unnecessary weird teenage drama in this show, it is very real. It is supposed to look superficial, you only have to look a little closer to see that it is not.
So once you deconstruct the idea that this is all superficial, you will see that yes, it is silly, so is life and we need those silly and funny moments in life and in this show, but it is also very, very deeply human in many tragic but also good ways.
156 notes · View notes
yaut-jaknowit · 3 months ago
Note
Hiya! Was wondering about a bad blood that takes a woman from earth but she's fine with it? He expected more fighting from her but is pleased. Not sure how you feel about soulmates but maybe he's been drawn to her for awhile and finally just took her?
Are We Meant To Be? Part 2
Pairings: Cew’voc (Male Yautja) x AFAB!Reader
Word Count: 2995
Summary: So much time has passed since you last saw that mysterious figure. He saved you then abandoned you. You had discovered he was your soulmate too late. When all hope was lost, he comes back to you. Is it too late?
Author Note: Okay, I know this isn't entirely what you were asking for. But, I hope it's still okay. If not, let me know and I do another for you. I wanted to use this as an excuse to write a part two for this story.
Masterlist
Ao3
Part 1
All the years since that faithful day offered no relief. Since then, you’ve had your ups and downs. From ending up jobless and homeless, you were able to barely bounce back to a decent life. It wasn’t normal. It would never be normal again. Not without what you saw that night. Who or whatever that creature was… he was yours. As much as you were his. Two souls destined for one another.
The reminder made your heart ache. You gritted your teeth and rubbed the heel of your hand over your sternum. Some of your co-workers gave you a puzzled look before shaking their heads and going back to their business. You cleared your throat before squaring your shoulders to face the lobby and customers all over again.
A pain that’ll be with you till the end of time. You were used to it.
Twelve hours in the building was an average shift. It was the minimum you needed to work five days a week just to make do.
From living an average, normal life, meeting what had to be your soulmate had ruined everything. Despite the longing to see him, just a glimpse every so often, there was no chance. He abandoned you. It was unheard of. Usually soulmates for the first time they meet each other can’t leave each other. Some say its physical and others say its emotional. But to break apart within even the first day was beyond cruel. It’ll leave someone, yourself, broken and hollow.
That’s exactly what you are. A shell of the person you used to be. Now, here you were, a beggar for any change, even a penny. It could mean the difference between having a roof over your head or being homeless.
No one wanted you. Not even someone destined to be with you until you died.
The plates in your hand wobbled precariously. Your attention returned to your surroundings only to watch the four plates you had been carrying slip off of your arms. They came crashing down onto the ground. The porcelain shattering into tiny pieces at your aching feet. Food smears across the ground.
In the moments after that, you could only look down at the mess you’ve created. Your shoulders slumped. There was gasps that sounded through the lobby of the diner you worked out. But, you heard nothing. Stuck in your own world again while all you could do was look at the disaster at your feet.
This was it. Your last straw that broke the camel’s back. It seemed like you couldn’t hold down a job anymore. The pains in your chest only growing worse with the passing time. No one understood. This didn’t happen. Worst of all, it’s not like you had any insurance to work with. There was no help. All you did was suffer through the pain.
Over the white noise in your ears, you heard your name shouted at the top of someone’s lungs. Avery. Your boss. She came stopping around to stand in front of you with a heated glare in her eye. You simply lifted your head to look at her, dead and emotionless.
Her gaze flickered for a moment but returned to steel. One of her hands whipped out to point towards the door. “Get the fuck out of my establishment. You’re fucking useless,” she bit out with a ferocity you didn’t know she had. You blinked at her before finally picking up your feet and making your way to the door. Not even clocking out or taking off your apron.
There you had done it again. Lost another job. Useless. Just like she said. You couldn’t do anything right. Not even your own soulmate wanted to stay with you.
The concrete was harsh on your knees despite the jeans you were wearing. You had collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk. No one gave you a second glance; only giving you a look of disgust and going on their way. A broken sob left your chapped lips. The world around you closing in. You tilted your head backwards to gaze at the darkening sky.
It wasn’t long before day morphed into night. Sometime during the transition you had pulled yourself up and meandered along the path set in front of you. It was random and leading you further and further from the dingy apartment called home. The city you resided in offered nothing of relief. It allowed you to stay on a decently lit path through the side of town you resided in.
In your heart, something tugged you to stop. Your head finally picking up to find the street deserted. You had walked so far that not even those brave enough would venture out. A whine built in the back of your throat. This was pointless. Now, you were somehow lost. Your head tilted back to look at the dark sky. There was little to no stars that would dot the night sky. “What am I doing?” Your voice was hoarse. It lacked the warmth it had years ago.
All the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. The muscles that lined your back tightened. Your breath caught, body prepared for the worst while your mind hoped for the best. But, your luck has shown you how well that’ll go.
You neck creaked while it turned towards the dark alleyway. Nothing could be seen down the endless path. Either it turned off or ended towards the end.
A loud thump echoed off the walls. Your entire boy turned towards the entrance. The soft clicks of something entered the air. Your brows furrowed while you tried to deter was creating that noise. In your careless state and defense, you weren’t of sound mind. There was one thing in the world that would solve all of your issues.
It wasn’t here.
At the crest of the entrance, you eventually spotted the silhouette of a humanoid figure. Oh, not again. You took a couple of stumbling steps away and nearly fell over your own two feet. It seemed your lucky wasn’t the greatest.
Light shined off metal. Faster than a blink of an eye, your throat was snatched. Your back was pressed to a firm, hot surface. Humid heat washed over the top of your head and ran down the back of your neck. A shutter ran its course. The muscles in your body only tensing more.
Yet, in this moment, after everything that’s happened after four years… you didn’t care. Not any more.
Sharp clicks and growls vibrated into your ear. The firm grip around your throat tightened only fraction. “Mi-ne.” A voice growled that it could be felt in your bones. The declaration strong and firm.
A voice you recoginized. Your hands instantly go to the one holding you in place. Try as you may, you couldn’t tilt your head far enough back to look at the figure. But, the lack of an ache in your chest only solidified your thoughts.
This had to be him.
As your mouth opened to speak words he deserved, his free hand pressed something into your mouth. Two fingers coaxed you to swallow dryly whatever he had placed on your tongue. His palm still covered the lower portion of your face. You tried to speak and began to fight him. Anger filled your veins at not only past action, but his current ones now.
When the hands left you, you believed there was a chance for escape. Your entire body whipped around to face the towering creature. Only, for you to sway from the sudden, unwise move. Strong, capable hands grasped your shoulders before you could slam into the ground. A haze took over your mind and left you unstable.
The ground left the bottom of your feet. Then, you were hoisted onto a thick, muscular shoulder that dug into your waist and belly. The move caused you to wheeze and grab onto the a fish net like material that covered at least his toned back. “Let me go!” you screamed at the top of your lungs then began to beat on his back with clenched fists.
He takes it. Without complaint. The humanoid figure spins on his heel and lets the darkness engulf him again. Your cried for help and desperate attempt for freedom begins to fade. Whatever he forced you to ingest was starting to take effect already. Your movements turned sluggish. Every beat was weaker than the last.
“I… hate you,” was what you could say before the darkness consumed you. Your body falling limp on his shoulder.
Warmth. Comfort. Those were the first two things to greet you when your consciousness finally decided to wake up. A soft blanket swaddled your entire form and kept you safe from the lurking monsters. A groan left your lips. You squirmed in the swaddled you’ve been placed in until it loosened.
It took a monstrous amount of strength to open your eyes and blink away the fatigue sitting in your bones. What greeted you made you believe the night still claimed you.
Metal from ceiling to floor made up the room you were in. The blankets on your shoulders slipped off when you sat up to fully take in the space. Your jaw dropped. Five skulls were line on the wall behind you. All were creatures you didn’t recognize. You gulped and kept taking in the room. Weapons decorated some parts of the wall. A bean bag like chair was shoved into one corner. A fur like blanket draped over it.
That’s when you realize the blankets you had been covered with are fur from an unknown creature. You shuttered to think of all the death that was proudly displayed in here. Why… why would he take you in here? Surely, it wasn’t to kill you? No. Your head shook in the negative. He wasn’t. He would’ve already done that if so. Plus, something in your heart told you he wouldn’t harm you.
You were in the process of shuffling to your knees when the door slid open. The entire room filled with tension. It was him. Face still covered a metal mask.
He doesn’t move. The two of you engage into a staring contest.
Thoughts were running wild in your mind. From the last time you had saw him, there had been slight changes. Mainly scars. He was already adorned in them and proudly presenting them. But, more had been added to his collection. A nasty looking one started from an inch above his right collarbone and descended with small jags mostly downwards.
All of them… made him look good, despite not seeing his face yet.
Your first move was to tug the blanket tighter around you, like some sort of shield. He wasn’t terrifying. Not an ounce of fear in your heart at the sight of his towering form.
But, you were nervous, unsure of the whole situation. The most of all. You were angry. Four years. It’s taken him four years to come back into your life and decide you were worth something after all. Tears pooled in your eyes at the thought.
A glare set over your features. You sat back down on your butt and looked away from him. The creature doesn’t deserve your attention, let alone a second of your time. For all you could care, you were going to completely ignore him until he gives up. Let him feel the pain of being abandoned by the one you thought was supposed to your other half.
Out of the corner of your eye, you watched at the mustard yellow figure stalked forward. Your ears strained to listen to each step as he made his way towards you. You strengthened your walls. The beast stopped at the edge of the mattress and gazed down at your figure. Then, he gingerly sat down a couple of feet away from you.
His scaly hand reached out timidly. A move you observed closely. When he got in range, you swatted at the approaching limp. The creature snatched his hand back and made an offended noise. You didn’t need to see his eyes to know he was looking at you as if you had grown a second head. To go against someone three times your mass was obviously stupid. Yet, here you were, protecting yourself from his touch in what could be taken in an aggressive matter.
Except, he held back and took the sign completely. The figure bowed his head. “I-I kn-ow… you are u-pset.” It sounded like he was struggling to speak English. Not as it’s a language he does not know, but like his mouth and throat can’t make the sounds well. “I have reasons. I-it shouldn’t b-e possi-ble. Can’t be.”
If his words were meant to be soothing he was doing the opposite. You hugged your knees tighter with a scoff and a roll of your eyes. You wanted to ask him the reasoning but felt like that would give him too much attention. Despite what your soul wanted since it finally get’s to see your other half again after so long.
“It’s wr-ong. You’re ooman. I’m…” he trails off and glances over at your curled up form. A position meant to protect you from incoming harm. “I’m not.”
For him to confirm your suspicions, you weren’t surprised. Not after finally getting to see him in a better light. The dark, mustard yellow of his skin was dotted with scales. The color and texture wasn’t normal. The size of him wasn’t normal. The blonde rubbery-like dreads that poured from his head weren’t normal.
“I-it’s aga-against ev-everything I know. I came back. I sh-shouldn’t have.” The masked creature made a noise of agony. One of his hands came to rub at his sterum. “But the pa-in. A-after s-so long. I grew weak. Co-uldn’t handle it. I-I ne-needed to lay e-eyes on you.” Words kept tumbling from him. Words you barely understood while he struggled with your language.
They almost, almost softened you. The same pain you endured the last four years was what he experienced as well. But, there was a difference. He purposefully abandoned you. He deserved the pain. You, on the other hand, did not.
You were only human, after all. “Where am I?” Your voice was barely about a hoarse croak.
He perked, only slight, at the sound. “My s-hip. I’ve h-idden us-us from your go-vern-ment senses behind a plan-et you ca-ll Jupiter.” Him clarifying he was an alien though, wasn’t on your list of possibilities. At least, not very high. The most you thought of him was a mutated, escaped human experiment. Not… that.
“Y-you’re an alien?” you gaped before reeling in your shock. There was no reason him to give the benefit of the doubt. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve you.
“Yes,” he confirmed and dipped his head. The strange, rubbery dreads slipped over his shoulders to sway. “I a-m a Yautja. No-t t-that you know w-hat that is.” You bristle at his offensive words and sent a heated glare at the alien. He brushed it off with a shrug. “My name is Cew’voc. A-and yours?” You turned your head away again as your answer. He has not earned that right to know you.
Newly named Cew’voc purred with mirth. It took every ounce of will not to spin around and punch him. How dare he laugh!
“That is-is okay. I-I can just look-k it up.” Whatever he had for a face, there had to be a smirk on it. You could hear it. You bristled against and huffed. This surely couldn’t be your soulmate.
A new silence fell over the two of you. For a moment, tense peace. Until you heard a mechanical hiss. Your head whipped over to find Cew’voc’s hands gripping the metal mask that adorned his face. Carefully, the alien tugged the cover free and let his features be revealed.
Alien. He was completely alien. Three mandibles tipped with sharp fangs protruded from where what looked to be a mouth. The mouth area had an animal like jowl but the front area was open. Similar to a person, he had a jaw. Teeth protruded from both the jaw and upper side of the mouth. Terrifying teeth that looked deadly.
Then, his eyes. Those felt like a predator was staring directly into your soul. You couldn’t help the shutter than ran its course. They were a bright, scary yellow that almost seemed to glow in the calm lighting of the room.
After you exploration of his face, you find the alien with its only upper mandible quirked up. As if he was smirking at you. You glowered.
In broken, struggling English, the Yautja spoke your name. You swiftly got on your knees to be the same height as him and pointed a finger at him. “You don’t deserve the right to say my name! You abandoned me,” you grounded out. Cew’voc simply raised a brow in your direction then amusedly shook his head. “Oh, no you don’t! You don’t get to brush me off like that. Four years of misery because of your scared little ass running away.”
Now, that got a reaction out of him. The alien stood up to a lumbering height above you and glared down at you over his mandibles. “I am n-o co-coward. I’m Yautja. S-strong, mi-ghty.” He thumped a fist over his chest. “Do not a-cused me with fa-lsehood.”
You didn’t fear him. Not one bit. You stood up to be eye with him on the bed and got into his face. “Yes. The fuck. You are! You ran away with your tail between your legs like a little sissy crying to your mom!” Despite nearing twenty-three, you used some middle school insults that hopefully did the trick.
The anger that covered his features melted away when he slumped back with another smirk. “Oh, we may g-et alon-g yet.”
Oh, you doubted that.
238 notes · View notes
sunlightmurdock · 2 months ago
Text
Ashes, Ashes | Two | Bradley Bradshaw
Tumblr media
previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist
Synopsis: In which Maverick didn’t make it home after the Uranium mission. He’s missing, presumed dead. There are things that have to be done — someone has to take care of the house, the bills.
So, Maverick’s daughter is back in Fightertown for the first time since she was in elementary school. There’s a gaping hole in both of their lives now, and somehow, the world’s supposed to just keep on turning without him.
warnings: bradley bradshaw x minimally descriptive oc avery mitchell. age gap (23/33), smut, angst, hurt / comfort, mentions of character death, mourning, military inaccuracies. This entire fic and my blog is an 18+ space, minors do not interact. Do not repost.
Bradley rents a bungalow about twenty minutes from base, towards the south of the San Diego bay. He explains, on the drive there, while she is hugging an overnight bag of her things, that he’s been renting it from this sweet old lady for the past four years — but he’s only been living in it for about three quarters of that time, with deployments.
He talks a lot. Shooting halfway amused looks across at him every now and again as he talks over his music, explaining his entire rental history, Avery just lets him go on and on.
Maybe he’s worried that the silence will give her room to start tearing up again, but she knows that won’t happen — it was already a rare occurrence, just the once. 
She lets him talk. He doesn’t seem to mind how much attention she’s paying either. Anything other than silence is fine, even if he’s the only one filling it.
The respite comes when he parks in the driveway, hops out, and proudly displays the home to her. It’s white all over and covered in plants, all up the driveway and over the porch. There’s a surfboard sitting on the porch, waxed up and looking ready to go.
Inside is masculine and simple, and spotless. It looks more lived in than Maverick’s place, but in an exceptionally organised way. 
Just past the front door, he has an organised entryway with a closet and one of those shoe racks that looks like an end table. 
Beyond that, his living area is all open plan. His kitchen is to the left right as you walk in, and the living room is the clear focus. He’s got a big grey sectional pointed at a big tv with a stack of video games beside it.
He doesn’t ask her to take her shoes off by the door, but she copies politely when he kicks his off. 
That leaves her, blue and white tube socks, toeing against the chewed up corner of the area rug while he busies himself with fixing the few things he deems to be out of place. 
Itching to keep moving, she prods at the fabric, examining the teeth marks, wondering where the dog must be.
“Oh— that was my ex-girlfriend’s dog. I’ve been meaning to buy a new rug.” He explains, furrowing his brows at the spot as he tosses a throw pillow down onto his soft looking grey couch. “Um — so, I do have a guest room, but it’s kind of a gym right now. You can just make yourself at home, and I’ll go get everything out of your way.”
“I can take the couch.”
“No, no, you deserve some privacy at least. I’ll just be a sec — I have sodas and beers in the fridge, glasses are in the cabinet to the right. Help yourself.” He’s a good host, and a better one than she had been yesterday, considering that Maverick’s place is now technically her own.
As he heads for the long, stretching hallway, she shoots a look back down at the mauled rug. With how spotless the rest of this place is, he must have really liked that girl to let her bring her dog here, and to let it chew up his stuff.
She wonders, aimlessly, if he was mad about it. If they argued. If they broke up long ago.
Avery hasn’t had too many relationships of her own. Some mediocre sex and a couple of couch-based movie dates here and there, nothing to write home about. 
She sits cautiously, sinking into the pillowy cushion of the couch, taking the time finally to really look around her. The space is bright, with big windows all around and a view of the bay. There’s a sun catcher dancing from the curtain rod, casting rainbows across his wooden floors.
Maybe his ex had bought that, too.
The bungalow is small, but it fits all of his belongings with an abundance of space left. Avery thinks back to her father’s place, always cluttered and spilling over with junk, treasure from his years of travels.
Maybe Bradley is a little bit less sentimental about keeping things.
He rattles around in the room at the end of the hall for a while, huffing occasionally. While waiting on the couch, she considers getting up and offering to help a few times, but ultimately convinces herself against it.
“Alright! Fresh sheets and some space to move, there’s still a bunch of stuff in there but I tried to get it out of your way.” He comes strolling back down the hallway and drops down onto the couch at her side, letting out a heavy sigh.
She screws her mouth up a little, looking across at him while he rests his eyes, long, dark eyelashes brushing his warm cheeks. His long legs, covered by worn denim, stretch out far enough that he has to bend them around his coffee table.
When one hand comes up to card through his mussed curls, she catches sight of the tattoo inked across the expanse of his bicep. LXXXVI. ‘86. She starts to think on it, letting him enjoy his moment of peace, when he shifts and startles her enough to drag her eyes away from his flexing arm.
“Thanks, for everything,” Avery manages to still sound a little cautious in her tone, even when she’s rushing to speak. “Staying last night, driving me around today, letting me stay with you. I really appreciate it.”
He smiles without opening his eyes, reaching out and letting his hand pat skim across the seam of her jeans, patting at her knee platonically.
“Any time.” He breezes, cool. 
The first night is uneventful. Avery sleeps restlessly on the futon in Bradley’s spare bedroom, turned home gym. 
She pretends that she doesn’t see the numbers on the sides of the weights, and pretends also that she doesn’t give a little bit of her imagination to the way that tattoo must move when he lifts them.
When she wakes up, Bradley is gone and there is a note on the kitchen counter explaining that he went for a run. He was gone for two hours, trying to run far enough that the sick, hot, thudding feeling in his chest would stop.
Back at the house, Natasha stops by and spends the afternoon. She lets herself into the place with her key, which sits on her own keychain like she’s had it for a while. Watching a sitcom from the armchair while they sit beside each other on the couch, Avery notices that the two of them are very close.
She wonders if Natasha happens to have a dog.
Sleep doesn’t come any easier for either one of them the second night. When he finally catches sight of the red, flashing declaration on his alarm clock that it is now 2:01am, Bradley gives up.
He tries to be quiet as he’s getting up, careful not to wake Avery. They’re in much closer quarters in his place than they had been back at Maverick’s house, her door is right opposite his across the narrow hallway.
He pads down the hallway, rubbing at his eyes, tossing up whether he’s going to try to drink something warm and go back to bed, or if he’s just going to stay up. He can’t keep not sleeping.
He almost heads straight for the kitchen, freezing in his tracks as he finally takes note of the blue light coming from his living room, and the sound of women’s voices. It takes him a second, even though he’d been being so considerate on her behalf, to remember that he has a guest over.
“Ave?” He mumbles. 
The TV immediately falls silent. She winces from her spot on the couch, craning her neck to try to see him at the edge of the hallway.
“Just me. I’m sorry! Did I wake you?” She sounds worried. He’s still half asleep. 
He shakes his head as he steps out from the shadows and heads for his kitchen. “No, I just wasn’t expecting you to be up. I couldn’t sleep.”
He passes by pretty quickly, concealed behind the kitchen island in just a few steps. Still, she saw him. Illuminated only by the light of the television, wearing a tight pair of black boxer briefs and dog tags around a silver chain. Long, muscled legs and tapered hips. 
Sure, he was good looking before, and clearly fit — but she wasn’t expecting what had been under those slightly loose t-shirts.
Her mouth is dry as she mumbles out a soft, “Me either.”
“D’you want a tea?” He stands with her back to her now, reaching around in the darkness of his kitchen. She stares, unblinking, at his back.
“You drink tea?”
“Sometimes,” He cranes his neck to look at her over his shoulder. “That’s not weird.”
Her lips almost quirk, and she gives him a confirming shake of her head. “I didn’t say it was. Do you have green tea?”
He scoffs without looking. “Of course I have green tea.”
This whole lack of sleep thing isn’t new to him. It comes with the grief, but it’s there even when he feels like he isn’t grieving anymore. Since he was a kid, Bradley has had thoughts that keep him up at night, thoughts bad enough to stir him from peaceful, pleasant dreams.
He’s tried every tea in the catalog.
He carries the two mugs across the living room without once noticing the way he’s been stared at. He sets hers down on a cute little wicker coaster on his coffee table, walking past and dropping down onto the corner of the sectional.
His legs stretch out and he shifts and twists until he finds himself comfortable. “What’s this?”
She sets her gaze steadily on the television, her hands in her lap, wondering if he’s this brash with all of his house guests. With a swallow, she shrugs her shoulders. “Oh, it’s just this TV show about a columnist in New York in the nine—“
“Are you explaining Sex and the City to me?” Bradley sounds bewildered, his face stark as he stares at her across the couch. Avery’s lips tug at a smile, and she almost forget the nerves she’d been feeling.
Until, the light from the television catches on the silver of his dogtags. Her gaze drops, like a flicker, to his bare, toned chest — and she swiftly looks back to the television.
“You’ve seen it?” She asks softly.
He’s beyond good looking. He’d always been okay looking, he’d had a nice smile in all of those pictures she had seen. But now, the roundness of his cheeks is gone and he has grown into his nose, his lips are a shade of pink that would be a bestseller in cosmetics. 
Avery curses herself; she had been pretty successfully pretending not to notice that he had gotten good looking. Then, he comes strolling down that hallway and making her tea from his apparently extensive collection, having the nerve to sprawl across his own couch looking like that. 
Across from a girl who hasn’t seen any action in the better part of a year too. 
She almost scowls. 
“Every episode,” He answers gleefully. At first, she thinks of Natasha or that mysterious girlfriend with the badly behaved dog. Then, he adds, “This was my mom’s favourite TV show, ever.”
And suddenly, she feels a little guilty for acting like those muscles make him some kind of ladies’ man. Just because the rest of them have been, she guesses. 
Bradley seems like a nice guy. He slept in a bed clearly meant for a child all night last night, and he let her take the first shower this morning, he chased her across the parking lot and offered to fix all of her problems in one fell swoop. 
Maybe that’s because of some kind of debt he thinks he owes to Pete, and maybe it’s just because that’s the kind of man he is.
She glances across, watching him chuckle at a classic Samantha one-liner and take a sip of a raspberry herbal tea. Wrinkling her nose, she settles back down into the spot she had been relaxing in, and lets herself zone out again. 
They watch a couple of episodes. Unlike earlier, Bradley doesn’t feel the need to talk. He likes the quiet, mixed with their frequent chuckles. It’s an okay thing, to not have to fill that silent void. 
Avery is the first to excuse herself to go back to bed, and she hasn’t once mentioned his little Calvin Kleins or the way they make his thighs look. 
As she walks away, Bradley catches himself. He hadn’t much thought about what she might wear to bed, or what she’d been wearing when he first sat down with her. Her hips wiggle in her stride, her fitted pyjama shorts hugging her ass as she heads for the guest room. 
The material of her loose t-shirt is tucked in at the back. Those cotton shorts hug her hips and show off just the tiniest glimpse of her round ass, from where they have ridden up a little.
He looks away before she’s even out of view, but it doesn’t change what he had been thinking. She’s Pete’s kid, for gods’ sakes. Not much of a kid anymore, but still, it wouldn’t be right.
Man, Maverick would hate it, too. 
Bradley wishes, silently, that he was here to scold him. Pete would square his shoulders and get that rare and serious look on his face, warning Bradley to keep his hands to himself. And Bradley would smile and taunt him, saying, “Don’t worry, Mav, I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”
With her dad gone, it just makes it worse.
These next few weeks are going to be hard, and the least he could do is think with his head to keep things simple between the two of them. He heads back to bed late enough for it to almost not be worth it. 
He wakes to the sound of chaos over the comms, that same last conversation, those snowy peaks behind his eyelids. 
Mouth dry, heart thudding, his eyes are still shut when he stumbles out into the hall and twists the bathroom door handle. It jams, and he remembers. The sounds of water coming from behind the door stops abruptly.
Peeking her head around the shower curtain, already wincing, Avery calls back out to him. “Sorry! I’ll just be a second!”
“No — sorry, take as long as you want.” He calls back, shaking his head and heading for the kitchen. Restless and anxious, he splashes cold water across his face and thinks about Pete.
He saw Mav do this insurmountable times. He remembers all of the mornings that Mav would wake up gasping, shaking, and he would head straight for the bathroom, bolting the door. He’d come back out okay again. He wonders if Mav still did it, even all these years later.
If he still heard Goose’s voice through the comms, calling him out of his dreams. 
The thought makes him shudder. The bathroom door unlocking makes him flinch, looking up sharply. 
Avery steps out of the bathroom, her hair still dry and tied back, droplets of water still beading along the skin and flowing under the plush blue towel she had taken from the linen closet. He had told her to help herself, but he’s staring at her now and she’s second guessing herself.
He stands at his kitchen sink, his hands braced against the countertop, his knuckles white. She barely even notices his little Calvin Kleins. Her brows knit together as she takes a step toward him, barely visible around the corner.
“Hey… are you okay?” Her face creases with concern, lingering in the hallway so that he can see her just enough.
He remembers to let go of the countertop.
“Yeah,” He breathes out, unconvincingly, reaching up and shaking a hand through his tangled curls. He takes a second, trying to gather his thoughts enough to keep the conversation moving. “Were you still thinking you’re gonna need a job while you’re here?”
She blinks, her scrunched up face relaxing as she takes another step closer, cocking her head at him.
“Um, yeah. I think so.”
He nods. “Get dressed. We’ll go see my friend in a bit, can see if it’s something you might be interested in. Maybe, then we’ll take your car to a mechanic this afternoon.” 
Out of the house, he feels like he can breathe again. It’s just sleeping, that’s all. When he’s really awake, he can control it all a little better, it doesn’t get to him as much.
He drives the same way he had yesterday. Three fingers around the bottom of the wheel, seventies music playing. Today, the windows are down. Avery makes a pretty good passenger — she doesn’t ask him to change his music and she doesn’t put her head in the way when he’s trying to check his mirrors.
Mainly because she isn’t once watching the road, but that’s okay. 
She looks around the city like she’s seeing it for the first time. Mav lived her for longer than she’s been alive — and the entire place seems foreign to her.
Bradley knows both of his parents’ hometowns like the back of his hand, and he still hasn’t ever lived in either one of them. 
“Did your dad ever tell you about Penny?” He asks so calmly, drumming his fingers along the wheel, Ray-Ban caravans sitting across the bridge of his nose.
The look that Avery shoots him gives him more than enough of an answer. She sets her phone down in her lap and studies him, frowning slightly.
“Who’s Penny?”
Shit. Bradley shakes his head and his voice pitches up a fraction. “Oh, she and Mav were just good friends for a long time.”
A product of one of Maverick’s ‘good friendships’ herself, Avery doesn’t need Bradley to explain to her what that means. It makes her a little less excited to get to wherever he’s taking her. 
With one quick glance across, he catches the little frown settling across her lips.
“She owns that bar on Breakers Beach. We drove past it yesterday when we saw Admiral Simpson?” Bradley prompts her, glancing across at the passenger seat. She nods along. “I texted her yesterday and she really wanted to meet you, said you can have some shifts there if you want them.”
Avery wrinkles her nose, trying not to frown across at him when he’s doing his best to just be helpful.
“What? — What’s that look?” He prompts, looking across at her with an amused smile toying at his lips. 
“She’s like a long time ago ex, right? She wasn’t dating Pete recently?” 
Bradley thinks on his answer for a moment. He isn’t surprised that she figured out there was something between Mav and Penny, he would have figured it out too.
But, he had heard of Mav’s experience with Penny Benjamin a long time before he had actually gotten to meet Penny Benjamin. Really, he’s surprised to find that Avery has never heard of her, she and Mav were really on and off for quite a while.
He guesses that Mav kept that kind of thing from her.
Which means that he would want Bradley to keep the fact that he had seen Mav and Penny leave the bar together three times in the weeks leading the mission to himself too.
“Yeah. Like a long time ago.” He confirms.
“Alright, okay — yeah, this’ll be good,” Avery sounds more like she’s giving herself a pep talk than like she’s replying to him. He shoots her a smile and a nod anyway. “Thanks, again, by the way. You’re cool for setting this all up.”
Cool. Not the kind of compliment he’s usually searching for from a pretty girl, but he’ll take it.
Reaching across the centre console, he gives her knee a quick squeeze. “Not so bad yourself, Mitchell.”
Briefly, his palm lingers there. It’s just because he’s focusing on turning into the parking lot, but it’s still his large palm hugging the curve of her knee for a minute longer than it should have.
Completely over the thick protection of her jeans, but she stares at the touch anyways. Then, she dares to look back up at him. Totally relaxed as he pulls into a spot up front like it’s his own personal one. 
One more squeeze, and he takes his hand back and swings open the door. The parking lot is surprisingly busy for the middle of the week at noon.
 Avery follows him out of the vehicle, gingerly matching his pace as he heads inside. It’s once he’s spotted that she falters. 
“Rooster!” Someone even taller than he is comes marching up right away and throws his arms around Bradley. Bradley hugs him loosely, greeting him with an aloof but firm pat of the back.
“Payback.” He greets quietly.
“Wasn’t expecting to see you. How are you holding up?” His warm eyes bore into Bradley, his head bowed slightly and his voice sincere. He hasn’t spotted her yet.
“I’m alright,” Bradley sounds convincing enough, but this Payback guy hadn’t seen how rattled Bradley had looked this morning. “This is Avery.” 
Finally, Payback’s gaze flickers to the girl standing behind Rooster. Halfway tucked behind his shoulder, staring at him through her lashes, looking totally lost and sheepish.
“Mav’s kid?”
In the short time Bradley has known her, he knows that’s not the kind of response she would have wanted to get.
Swinging his arm out and throwing the heavy limb around her shoulders, Payback watches Rooster drag the stunned girl out from behind him and present her at his side. “It’d pay you to learn your new bartender’s name, Fitch.”
He’s looking Avery right in the eye, and he already can see that Bradley’s going to have to be reminded that not everyone likes the heavy handed approach to affection he can have.
Still, he smiles at her like he means it and nods his head respectfully.
“Already got it, it’ll be good to have you around, Avery.” 
A small smile works its way across her lips, grateful if not anything else.
���Nice to meet you.” She answers him quietly, stiff against Bradley’s side. He pats her back and urges her forwards.
“Here, this is Penny. Penny, meet your new bartender.”
Penny Benjamin is tall and striking, standing behind the bar with her eyes already on the new bartender. There’s a recognition and affection in the blue of her gaze that tells Avery she was lied to just a moment ago.
That’s a woman who cared deeply for Pete Mitchell.
It puts a bad taste in her mouth, a pit in her stomach, a sudden coldness about the possibility of this job. Even if just for a short time, for however long she’s here, she’s just going to be an extension of the man she had always felt so far from.
Penny cocks her head to the side, just a bit. Sure, she can see semblances of Pete in the girl across from her, but it’s the rigid, flighty look in her eyes that catches Penny’s attention. 
Across from her is someone with something to prove, and a character they’ve been playing for a long time now. That’s what feels most familiar.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Avery says stiffly, trying to sound like she means it. 
Penny nods, smiling. She glances towards Bradley, then back to the girl still tucked under his arm.
“You too. Let’s talk.” 
As Jimmy takes over the bar duties, Bradley’s left with the prospect of facing his friends when Penny and Avery disappear toward the back deck.
He scratches at the back of his neck, shooting one last look at the two of them over his shoulder, and wondering what he’s supposed to say to all of those guys. 
One by one, he could manage… but all in a group like that? — He hasn’t seen most of them since it happened. 
It’s Natasha that he can trust to catch his eye first, giving him that kind of look cautious parents give their kids when coaching them on a bike. She worries a lot for someone who swears that she doesn’t care about the meatheads she hangs out with.
He heads for her as coolly as he can manage, hoping that the other guys know not to give him a hard time today. They don’t, they never would. 
His therapist says it’s a defensive thing, the way he waits for people to say the wrong thing. When he’s hurt, he expects it, almost. He’s trying to get out of it. 
They can all give him credit for that.
Even so, it doesn’t take long for conversation to fade from small talk to the newest, most exciting subject.
“So, she’s staying at your place?” Natasha’s the first one to bring up the missing party, picking up on a comment about the two of them arriving together.
Bradley shakes his head and fiddles with his root beer bottle. “No, she’ll be over at Mav’s place once we get her car fixed up. It’s a real piece of shit, I don’t even know what they’d do to make it run any better.”
“Mav loves cars — and he lets her drive a shitbox like that?” It’s Javy who scoffs that out, the only one still talking about the Captain who had taken a shine to him in present tense. 
Bradley just shrugs. This isn’t the place to unpack whatever went down between Mav and Avery. He doesn’t know enough, even if he wanted to talk about it.
“She came all the way down here by herself?” Callie asks. She doesn’t say it, but she’s referring to the fact that her mother came all the way out to Lemoore to try to move her into the barracks like it was college when she was that age. 
Bradley shrugs again. He hasn’t heard much about Avery’s mom in the past twenty years, he isn’t even sure that he ever met her — certainly wouldn’t be able to pick her out of a crowd. All he knows is the gossip he’d gotten from his mom when it was all going down. 
“How’s she doing?” Bob asks, his blue eyes deep and sincere as he searches Bradley’s face, knowing better than to ask the same question. 
“Okay, I think.” Bradley muses, thinking of how quickly Avery had questioned the recovery efforts yesterday. “I dunno how close they were, but it’s always gotta be hard. Just… trying to make it a little easier on her, I guess.” 
They all nod, slowly.
And then Avery comes marching back inside, her chin high and her hair a little wind-swept, making a beeline right for the closest thing she’s got to a friend in this town.
“Hey.” Bradley offers her a smile, and reaches out for her. His hand grazes the back of her bicep, and she smiles more genuinely than she has in the past two days.
“Hi.”
He catches sight of himself being watched, and takes a look back over Avery’s shoulder to find Penny looking. Her blue eyes flicker down to his hand on Avery’s arm. 
Pursing her lips, she rolls her eyes and shakes her head, and Bradley’s mouth almost falls open. There’s no way she thinks that he’s hitting on Avery. He’s just being friendly.
Penny knows Bradley well enough to know that. He’s always been a very affectionate guy. Still, the look that she gives him is one that certainly, and silently, tells him to keep his hands to himself. 
He blinks, and finds his friends looking back at him expectantly. 
“So, you’re taking the job?” He checks, shaking off Penny’s watchful eyes and settling back into what he knows. Avery nods her head at him.
“Starting tomorrow.”
Tomorrow. That’s way soon. He’s going to have to make sure he doesn’t keep her up until four in the morning watching the misadventures of Carrie Bradshaw tonight. 
“Well, guys, say hi to your new bartender.” 
He brings the bottle of rootbeer back up to his lips and shoots a quick glance back over Avery’s shoulder. Penny stares back, unfazed, as he narrows his eyes back at her.
What does she know about anything, anyways?
185 notes · View notes
ellecdc · 10 months ago
Text
The Winner Takes It All
poly!Marauders x reader (gender not specified)
CW: slight light angst (between reader x other students), confusion on relationship status, fluff
You didn’t really know what you had done to win the affections of the infamous Marauder boys – namely Remus, Sirius, and James – but you weren’t going to question it too deeply; you quite enjoyed their company.
Everyone knew the three boys were together: Sirius and James were never known for their subtlety, and Remus was the reluctant (but quite pleased) victim of their near constant PDA. 
Somehow, you too had gotten swept up in their affections.
It wasn’t official – in the sense that you and the boys had never discussed what their flirting, pet names, cuddles, or forehead kisses meant in the grand scheme of things – but no one was ignorant to the chemistry between the four of you. The boys were so unbelievably sweet with you, and their attention felt like nothing short of worship.
James’ excessive excitement when you walked into a room left you feeling like you meant something; an overwhelming sense of belonging within his space. Sirius’ devilish flirting, compliments, and obvious ogling made you feel more beautiful than you ever thought possible. And Remus’ small gestures – whether carrying your books for you, ensuring you’ve eaten and drank enough water, and his special nicknames he seemed to save just for you - left you melted into a puddle of fondness. 
And that wasn’t always taken very well by others.
Namely, Emmeline Vance. 
The boys had been known to be quite…open…in their sexual encounters in the past and have, on occasion, included a fourth party in their dorm room activities. This quickly stopped when some parties felt this meant they were included in their dynamic.
Emmeline was one of them, and it appeared she wasn’t taking the news of them seemingly working to include an official fourth to their relationship very well. 
This is one of the reasons you hadn’t brought up exactly what you meant to them; you were not interested in simply being the boys’ next bedmate, and a part of you was afraid that bringing things up would expose the fact that this was indeed their hope.
The other part of you knew that the boys weren’t the kind to string someone along, and that they’d have to be playing an awfully long game if that was truly their angle. But the possibility squeezed at your heart nonetheless.
Emmeline had taken to making snooty comments to you when the boys weren’t around. Lily, Marlene, Peter, and Dorcas seemed particularly bothered by it, but you did your best to ignore her.
But there was a part of you that wanted to scream at her a little bit…you weren’t even technically in a relationship with them! You’d never slept with them, you’d never even properly kissed any of them, and you certainly hadn’t made any moves to make whatever this was ‘official’. 
Another part of you didn’t even want to entertain the situation. You had far more important things to concern yourself with: You were studying for your NEWTS, considering whether you wanted to head right into the workforce or explore further education, and where the hell you were going to live after graduation. 
Unfortunately, Emmeline wasn’t the only one to pick up on your new-found closeness with the Marauders.
“Well, well, well…look what the lions dragged in.” Mulciber sneered from behind you as you made your way up the path from Hogsmeade. You rolled your eyes and kept your head forward; you’d been given permission from the headmaster to run to the village to purchase more potions ingredients, but apparently, so had the Slytherins.
“What? Good enough for those Gryffindor’s but not us? Where’re you running too?” Avery continued with a malicious grin when you picked up your pace. 
Thankfully, you could see the Hogwarts grounds were up ahead, and Lily was there at the gates waiting for you.
“Sod off.” You threw over your shoulder, feeling slightly bolder in the presence of your friend. 
You smiled warmly at the redhead as she threw her arm over your shoulder, sparing the Slytherin gits behind you a withering glare as you carried on towards the castle.
“What’s their problem now, hm?” She asked you, still glaring at the boys.
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, who knows. Not happy with anyone associated with the Marauders.” 
Lily snorted inelegantly. “I don’t even think they’ve bothered pranking the Slytherin’s lately.”
“Nope.” You agreed with a pop of the P. “Everyone’s got bigger problems right now.”
Lily laughed but it turned into a groan. “Yeah, speaking of: incoming.”
You followed her gaze to see Emmeline making her way towards the two of you.
“Hello Lily!” She said cheerily before her face turned stony as the considered you, “Y/N.”
You tried to refrain (somewhat unsuccessfully) from rolling your eyes as you said hello to the girl.
“Have you seen the boys around?” She asked feigning innocence, but you both knew exactly who she was on about.
Lily played dumb, though you knew that she knew very well who Emmeline was looking for. “Which boys, Vance? That covers just about half of the population at Hogwarts.” She asked coolly. 
“Remmy, Siri, and Jamie. Obviously. I’m going to ask them to Hogsmeade this weekend.” She shared with a sense of finality. You did roll your eyes at this, and Lily scoffed.
“Well, my first place to look for them would be with Y/N, and seeing as they’re not here, I couldn’t tell you.” Lily spat.
Emmeline narrowed her eyes and looked between the two of you before she levelled a glare at you.
“This isn’t over. I’ll win them back.” She said plainly, and something about her tone caused you to snap.
The Slytherin’s, Emmeline, the stress of not knowing – it was all too much, and you were done.
“You know what, Emmeline?” You said in a calm tone as you looked to the sky. “You can have them.”
Lily whipped her head to look at you bewilderedly at the same time Emmeline cocked her head at you.
“I beg your pardon?” She asked as you returned your eyes to her.
“If you think you can ‘win’ them, you can have them. I don’t want something that can so easily be taken from me, anyway. But you’re competing in a game that I’m not even playing, so either take them or leave me alone because I’ve got bigger fucking problems than your stupid school-girl crush.” You were out of breath by the time you finished; your face was hot, and you were sure it was likely the colour of Lily’s hair, but you willed yourself not to cry as you stormed toward the castle.
Damn being an angry crier.
You were just so tired – this wasn’t a game to you; these were your friends, perhaps more (you certainly hoped more), and it was also your feelings. But what you said was true – nothing that can be taken from you is worth keeping, not even them. 
Lily quickly caught up to you but knew better than to say anything now, giving you the chance to breathe and calm down. You both made your way to Gryffindor tower where you threw yourself haphazardly into one of the plush couches near the fireplace. 
“Fuck.” You groaned as you rubbed your hand down your face.
“You okay, hun?” Lily asked as she pet your head commiseratively. 
You groaned again as you let your hand fall from your head and hang dramatically off the side of the couch. “Yeah, just tired. Of everything.”
Lily hummed in sympathy. “Why don’t you relax up here? I can bring you something from the Great Hall for supper.”
You looked at your friend like she hung the moon. “You’d do that for me?”
She chuckled and pinched your cheek, “‘Course. Anything for you, gorgeous.” She winked, trying on her best Sirius Black voice to mimic what the boy has said to you many-a-times before. 
They really did treasure you, didn’t they?
You sort of regretted your outburst now – you knew the boys weren’t a prize in some juvenile contest; that’s what you’d been trying to point out – but you worried that’s not the way it sounded. What would they do once they heard? And you knew they would – hear about it, that is. Would their feelings be hurt? Would they understand? Would they feel embarrassed to be spoken about in such a manner?
You didn’t have much time to think about it after Lily left, because before you knew it, said boys were crawling through the portrait hole. 
“Angel!” James shouted at you as he found your form curled up against the arm of the couch. He made for you instantly, vaulting himself over the back of the couch sat opposite of you like some kind of living room gymnast and launching himself onto your couch, nearly right on top of you. 
“Hi Jamie.” You said shyly as his arms wrapped around your middle and he dug his face into the crook of your neck.
“Missed you.” He said, though the sound was muffled from the new home he seemed to have made in your being.
“Lily said we’d find ya here.” Sirius said as he sat on the coffee table in front of you. You grimaced in response.
“How was your trip to Hogsmeade?” Remus redirected at your obvious discomfort, taking a place beside Sirius.
“Oh, it was alright. I found what I needed.” You answered quietly, playing with the nailbeds of your fingers. Sirius quickly gave you one of his hands to play with instead. 
“We heard you gave Vance a verbal lashing.” He said as you fiddled with one of the many rings adorning his long fingers. You groaned and let your head fall back onto the couch. 
“Sirius.” Remus quietly (though lovingly) chided. “Do you wanna talk about it, dove?” 
And there he goes with the nicknames, and James’ cuddling and Sirius’ piercing gaze and what the hell were you even doing here? 
“No.” You answered. “I don’t know.” You amended quickly. 
“I hope she didn’t upset you too terribly.” James offered quietly as he moved his chin to rest on your shoulder so he could look at you. You were suddenly self-conscious of how the side of your head looked.
“No. I may have been a little out of line.” You acquiesced. Sirius scoffed dramatically.
“Please, you’ve never been unreasonable a day in your life. You should try it once in a while.”
You chuckled at the dark-haired boy. “If anyone can drive me to it, it’ll be you boys.” You tried to joke, but it came out somberly. 
“I’m sorry if being with us makes things a little tricky for you, with other students.” Remus apologized. 
You snorted. “I’m not sure why being friends with you guys should be such an issue for other people.”
“Friends?” James asked as he sat up a little straighter. You cocked your eyebrow as you turned to look at him.
“Well, I don’t know…We’ve never really discussed anything, I didn’t want to assume…” You trailed off as you started picking at your nailbeds again. This time, Sirius moved to his knees in front of you and took both of your hands in each of his.
“Assume. Assume it all; all of it, everything. We’re yours.” He said emphatically, punctuating each sentiment with a squeeze of your joined hands.
“If you’ll have us…” Remus corrected, and you felt something swell behind your eyes at the faint blush that appeared on his cheeks. 
James seemed just as moved by Remus’ bashfulness as he leaned forward to caress the boy’s cheek. “We know we’d love to have you.” James finished for him.
You sniffled and offered them a tight smile. “I’d like that.”
Sirius deflated instantly and let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank gods. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you said no.”
“Die, probably.” James said seriously, surprising a laugh out of you.
“We never wanted you to feel insecure in your place with us, dovey. We’re sorry we didn’t make it clearer how much you mean to us.” Remus continued.
“It’s not that. You make me feel very…” but you trailed off timidly.
“Very…” Sirius continued with a devilish grin. You tried to hide behind your hands but he held-fast. “Don’t get shy on us now, gorgeous. How do we make you feel?”
“Cherished.” You whispered, and you watched as the mirth left his face, leaving behind only fondness.
“Oh, thank merlin.” James breathed. “I thought I’d have to up my flirting; and I don’t know if you guys know this, but I already live at 100% love always.”
“We know.” You, Sirius, and Remus answered in unison. 
“Okay, Jamie. Scoot.” Sirius said as he stood. He hardly waited for James to make room before he’d picked you up and flipped you two, so he was now sitting in your spot, and you were in his lap. “My turn.” He muttered as he put his face in the crook of your neck like James had before. James didn’t seem to mind the intrusion much; his arm thrown across Sirius’ shoulders and fingers rubbing at the baby hairs on your neck.
“Y/N?” Remus asked, and your toes curled in anxiety at how serious he looked.
“Yes?”
“May I kiss you?” He asked, keeping his honey gaze locked on yours.
You felt a grin overtake your face as you nodded emphatically. His smile matched yours as he leaned forward resting his hand on your knee and pressed his lips gently to yours. You felt so incredibly complete – Sirius’ arms wrapped securely around you, James gently massaging your neck and shoulders, and Remus’ lips on yours.
Both you and Remus seemed reluctant to separate, but you did. He pressed one last kiss to your lips before he leaned back into his seat on the coffee table.
“Does this mean we get to do that all of the time now?!” James asked excitedly, causing the three of you to chuckle. You didn’t much mind the sound of that.
“There was no competition.” Sirius said quietly from his place in your neck. You turned your head which forced him from your neck as you looked at him inquisitively.
“There was never any competition. Between you and Emmeline.” He clarified, silver irises seeming to bore into your soul. “Between you and anyone.” 
You felt heat rush to your cheeks and ducked your head.
“And even if there was,” James continued, “you’d have won by a landslide.” 
Read the companion piece: The Loser Has To Fall
2K notes · View notes
luveline · 6 days ago
Note
Hii, Jade 🤍 please bring back singledad!spencer, reader and Amanda 🥹 they r so special
—Spencer experiences your first Spencer-brought-upon baby fever, to his shock. fem, 2k 
(cw: reader is written as enthusiastically wanting kids) 
Spencer’s been reading to Amanda since the moment she could open her eyes. By two months she was cooing in delight whenever he spoke, and that included during story time. He didn’t mind that she didn’t understand, he just loved being with her. He still does. 
So when Amy interrupts your conversation to beg for him to read her something, he gives you an apologetic look, asking, “Do you mind?” 
“Of course I don’t mind.” You wouldn’t, you’re like an angel, leaning back on the couch with little urgency as Amy climbs into Spencer’s lap.
“Thank you. Sorry for interrupting,” Amy says. 
“Gosh, you’re so smart,” Spencer says, tucking a curl of her hair behind her ear. “Interrupting, that’s a big word.” 
“Go ahead,” you say, getting comfortable in front of one of Spencer’s woven cushions. “I’ll listen too, if that’s okay.” 
Spencer opens the storybook to the first page. Amy likes this one. The corners of the pages are soft with use. “Cerys’ Brave Day,” he begins, grinning as Avery pushes herself up his chest to look down at the illustrations. “Cerys wakes up without mommy. Cerys makes her own way out of bed. There is no mommy to wipe her face or brush her hair. My mommy, she thinks, is not there.” 
Amy smiles into Spencer’s cheek. He wraps an arm around her, as if to say, I know, angel, it’s exciting. “Her mommy must be having a slow day. She doesn’t appear to give Cerys any help. And Cerys says–”
“No way!” Amy finishes, pointing at the drawing of a bathroom sink and toothbrush. “I don’t want to brush my teeth by myself!” 
It goes on like that for some time. Spencer notices you getting closer as he goes on, your arm pressing to his side. 
Cerys finds that her mommy is having a slow day. Cerys’ mommy is just as loving as the other mom’s, but sometimes she takes longer to help Cerys brush her hair, and get dressed. Cerys has to be a brave, smart girl, and help her mommy with the small things. Spencer enjoys it, and thought it was a great expression of empathy for Amy to one day understand.
“Later, when mommy feels better, she says I’m sorry for being so slow. Mommy didn’t mean to forget her, she just struggles to get up and go. 
“Cerys doesn't want her to be sorry. She loves helping her mommy out. Because mommy loves Cerys, and Cerys loves mommy, and that’s never been in any doubt.” 
Amy turns her face to Spencer with a huge smile, somehow bigger than when it started. “I love that story,” she says. 
Spencer lets the storybook fall closed in her lap. “It’s a good one, huh?” 
“What do you think, Y/N?” Amy asks. 
You’re delighted by Amy in a way Spencer’s used to seeing in the mirror. “I loved it. Daddy’s a good storyteller, and you’re such a good assistant. You know lots of the big words.” 
She preens. “Thanks.” 
You can’t resist her, pushing against the top of her head with a nice palm. “You’re welcome.” 
“Can we have another one?” she asks. 
Spencer checks the time on his watch. Amy realised it was bedtime before he did, it seems. “Come on, lovely girl. Let’s start getting ready for bed, and you can have any story you want.” 
He’s obviously not expecting you to leave, but at the same time, things are new enough between you that when he asks if you want to sleepover, your grinning “Yes, please,” throws him for a loop. 
You have spare clothes and toiletries in the bedroom. You ask to take a quick shower and get all smiley and shy when he says you never have to ask. 
“So dad,” Amy says. 
“So Amy,” he says, pulling down the blankets on her bed. She has five layers because suddenly November is cold. He wonders if she needs a sixth. 
“I can’t sleep in the big bed tonight.” 
“Well, that depends on how badly you want to.”
“Really?” 
“You’ve known Y/N for a long time, right? She’s been my friend for a long time, before she was my partner. I think she’d be okay with having you sleep in the big bed again if you need to. It was your place before it was her place, and she knows that.” 
“Well…” 
He grabs her under the arms and places her in bed. She could use her stepping stool, but he likes picking her up and putting her down. It makes him feel super paternal. “Just think about it, angel. If you change your mind, you can just come and knock the door. 
“Promise?” 
“Honey.” He kisses her forehead twice, before pulling the blankets up over her, and turning on her mushroom night light. “How’s that? Okay, I promise you can still come knock my door. Cross my heart.” 
“Can you stay for a little?” she asks. 
Spencer sits on her bed by her legs. They feel weirdly small under his hand despite the padding he’s given her. “Babe, are you sure you’re warm enough? This does not feel like enough blankets.” 
“It’s loads. Give me a hug.” 
Spencer lays down in her bed, almost falls off, and covers her with his arm. Their curls tangle together on the pillowcase. 
“Like this?” he asks. 
“Exactly.” 
“Amy, you’re using such big words, you’re so smart.” He’s gonna take her for an assessment at some point. He doesn’t care if she’s super intelligent or not, but lately it’s like she’s so much older than she is. A few days ago she said the word discombobulated. “My smarty-pants.” 
“I like big words,” she says. 
“I love you.” 
“I love you, too.” 
“Remember what Amanda means?” he asks. 
Amy giggles as he shakes her by the tummy. “She who must be loved.” 
“Exactly. Loved by everyone, deserving of love. Always, from the second you were born!” He leans down to kiss her cheek, meeting her eyes as he pulls back. “Okay?” 
She certainly feels loved, he’d wager. He loves her so much it’s like an extra part of his soul in another person. “Story?” she asks. 
“Yes, I did say we’d have one, didn’t I?” He’d almost forgotten. Spencer grabs a couple of her soft backs from the book stand and lets her choose. 
After he’s read a few books and given her a couple of cuddles, Amy begins to list. She presses her nose to his shoulder and mumbles something he doesn’t hear. 
“What did you say, sweetpea?” he mumbles. 
“Just goo’night.” 
“Goodnight. I’ll tuck you in, okay?” 
“Spence?” 
He’d almost forgot you were here. You’re standing in the doorway, arms still damp, pyjama pants stuck to your calves. “Where’s the fire?” he asks. 
“What?” 
“In a rush?” 
“Oh, I just wanted to hear story time. Did I miss it?” 
Spencer kisses Amy again. “I think so. I’m just saying goodnight.” 
You lean against the door. “Goodnight, then, lovely girl.” 
Spencer forces himself up to tuck her in. “Goodnight,” he says again, stroking the hair from her eyes, though they’re closed already. She doesn’t manage to say goodnight back, just touches his arm before he goes. 
You take his hand when he’s close enough. He follows, pressing his face to your shoulder from behind. 
“I like watching you be a dad.” 
“Yeah?” 
“Mm, you’re good at it. It’s… I don’t know, I know Amy isn’t my baby, but I do love her, so it’s never not gonna be nice to watch you, and… I’m worried to say this.” 
“Just say it.” 
“Maybe one day, I…” You catch his eye and give him a panicked smile. 
You climb into bed together. He tries to get you to finish what you’d been saying but doesn’t succeed, no matter how nicely he draws that shape you love into your neck. It’s alright, though. It doesn’t matter. He nearly forgets you’ve brought it up at all until you’re lifting yourself up from your place on his chest. “Spence?” you ask, so close it makes him nervous, his stomach twitching of its own volition. 
“What?” he asks. 
“I know it’s soon. I know we’re not… locked in. I was just thinking about our future and our family, and I’m really happy. And– and if you did want to, I guess I wanna know if… would you ever have more?” 
“More kids?” he asks, dumbfounded. 
Your pupils are massive, staring down at him, giving your eyes this darkness so rare in your gaze. “Have you ever thought about it?” 
“Of course I have, especially with you.” 
You fluster but push through. Your laugh warms his lips as you lean down. “Don’t say that.” 
“Isn’t that what you just said?” 
You kiss him. He lifts his chin too fast to follow you and ends up pushing you away. His cheek is burning in your hand, your index finger to the corner of his eye and so, so tender where it touches an eyelash. “Amy’s so much like you, honey,” you say, tucking a long flyaway strand behind his ear. “And it’s all you.” 
Spencer wonders if you’re perhaps entering the ovulation stage of your period, but forbids himself from asking, should he sound like a freak. But surely you can’t be feeling as strongly as you are about this from story time alone. He’s not that good at telling them. 
“It’s not all me. Amy’s herself, and she’s parts of everyone she’s ever met. I think she’s been a lot braver since she met you,” Spencer says. 
He’s not sure what he said there, but you peer down at him like he’s entirely new. 
“Spencer,” you murmur, drawing a line across his cheek.
“I’d love to have a baby with you, I just thought saying that might be too much too soon.” 
“Well, it is,” you say, sounding insanely pleased, at odds with your words, “that’s so soon. You shouldn’t say stuff like that.” 
He thinks he gets it. Spencer covers your hand where you’re been caressing his cheek and brings it to his mouth, giving your knuckles a kiss. “You’re already so caring, you’ll make an amazing mother.” 
“Not just if we have babies though.” 
“No, I know.” His hand acts for itself as he tucks your hand against his neck. “Amy loves you.”
“She’s brilliant, Spence.” And whatever adoring you’d been ladening on him comes to an end. “Her vocabulary is insane for her age, she really is her father’s daughter.” 
You lay yourself across his chest again for a hug. 
Spencer applauds himself for surviving whatever that was. You, eyes dark and imploring, asking him about babies and touching him like that. “Amy would love a baby sibling,” he says. 
“How many should we have?” 
He laughs loudly. The taboo of everything being too soon is forgotten as you and Spencer talk about babies, houses, what middle school Amy might go to, what daycare you could send your babies to. It’s so exciting it makes his chest pang, thinking about living with you, about marrying you. And your enthusiastic answers make it worse. It’s clear you’ve thought about some of this stuff at depth. 
You could really get married one day, Spencer thinks. There’s a real possibility you might say yes. 
“Do you really think Amy wouldn’t mind a sister?” you whisper. 
“She’s asked me a couple of times how she can get one, so yeah. I think we can safely assume she’d like that.” 
“She asked you that?” you coo. “Aw, lovely girl, what did you tell her?” 
“Well, I told her she came from a pumpkin.” 
“You did?” 
“Mm. It was my fault then when she got very excited at Halloween.” 
You giggle into his neck. “When we have a baby, we’ll buy her a pumpkin.” 
“Or a squash, but I don’t think we could fit a baby in a butternut.” 
You hug him nice and hard. Spencer isn’t sure, but he suspects this is the beginning of a very new, very enjoyable chapter of your lives. Even more so when you nose at his jaw and mumble something about his ‘kissability’. 
476 notes · View notes
crescenthistory · 2 months ago
Text
steady me, guide me, love me
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing: Barty Crouch Junior x Reader
Summary: After yet another fight, you have a serious talk with Junior about being careful, and he allows himself to be vulnerable with you.
Words: 3.7k
Warnings: not proofread, references to duels, blood and bruised knuckles, hurt/comfort, reader is anxious and stressed for barty, talks of dying, reader is not matching barty's freak but it's because she loves him and wants him to take a breather, barty and reader have an emotional disagreement but i would not classify it as a "fight", kissingggggg, like one innuendo
Notes: this was originally going to be an entirely different fic and not at all this emotional, but then barty had a mind of his own and took over my writing. so i am simply not to blame
***
The torches lining the Slytherin common room flickered in the dim light of the early evening. A faint breeze swept through the castle, carrying the scent of damp stone and the promise of rain. The common room was unusually quiet for a Friday night – students scattered in clusters, engrossed in studying or murmuring in low tones about the latest drama from their shared classes.
Barty was not among them. 
You sat on one of the far couches, attempting to focus on your homework but mostly letting your mind wander. It wasn’t unusual for Barty to disappear, but you hadn’t seen him for hours now, and the knot of anxiety in your stomach tightened as time ticked by. You knew him too well. Whatever he was doing, it wasn’t good.
The door to the common room burst open with a loud thud, shaking the portraits on the walls. The students nearby jumped, startled, while your heart only jumped in recognition. Barty, his hair windswept, his tie undone, and his eyes gleaming with that feral, maniacal delight he wore like armour, strode in like he owned the place.
Trailing behind him, a faint scent of burnt fabric and… was that blood?
Your stomach clenched, and you shot up from the couch, abandoning your parchment as you hurried toward him. 
“Barty–” you began, but before you could even reach him, Barty’s voice rang out, sharp as ever.
“That was brilliant!” he declared, a wicked grin splitting his face. The students in the room shot wary glances at him before quickly looking away, clearly unwilling to be caught up in whatever this is.
You stopped in front of him, hands crossed over your chest, trying to keep your voice steady despite the surge of concern rising in your throat. “What did you do?”
His eyes flicked over to you, and for a brief moment, something in them softened, only for a moment – Barty wasn’t one to linger on emotions that exposed him.
“Oh, hi, Treasure,” he drawled, closing the distance between you in two strides. He leaned down, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath against your ear, the smell of singed air and danger still clinging to him. “You should’ve seen it. That prat, Avery, dared to insult us–”
“Barty, what did you do?” you repeated, your voice firmer this time. You gripped his arm, pulling him slightly away from the curious eyes in the room, off to the side.
His smirk widened, unbothered. “We duelled. A proper one. Out by the forest. Let’s just say…” He waved a hand dismissively, as if the details didn’t matter. “He won’t be insulting anyone for a while. Got a good lesson in fear.”
You stared at him, heart pounding. There was a faint smear of blood near the collar of his shirt – not his, you hoped – and his knuckles were bruised, like they’d been cracked against someone’s jaw. Clearly not just a magical duel. 
“Are you okay?” you asked, wanting to ensure he was good before you rip into him for putting himself in harm’s way again.
He half-scoffed at you, waving any concern off. “I’m here, ain’t I? I’m fine, Avery’s not the worst I’ve seen.”
“Barty, you can’t keep doing this,” you whispered, eyes darting toward the others in the common room. You lowered your voice even more. “You can’t keep getting into fights just because someone runs their mouth.”
“Can’t?” he repeated, his expression twisting into a mocking smile, though you could see some uncertainty in his eyes. “You know damn well I can, Treasure. I will. If some filthy coward thinks he can throw my name – our name – in the dirt, I’ll break him.”
“You’ll get yourself expelled, is what you’ll do,” you shot back, frustration bubbling up inside you. “Or worse – someone’s going to get seriously hurt. You can’t just throw yourself into these things because– because–”
“Because what?” Barty interrupted, his voice sharper than he usually was with you. His eyes bore into yours, demanding something you weren’t sure you could give him. “Because I care too much? Because I won’t let anyone talk down to us?”
There it was again, that us he always slipped in when talking about you and him. It made you stutter in more ways than one.
You sighed, staring at him for a minute. Your heart ached. You loved that Barty cared, albeit too much sometimes, but his obsession with proving himself, with protecting what he thought was his, was going to destroy him. You could see the cracks forming already.
“Come with me,” you said quietly, pulling on his arm again. This was not a conversation to be had here, not with a dozen of already too curious eyes watching. You needed to get him away, alone, where he could let down his guard fully and you could hopefully talk some sense into him.
His gaze flickered around the room, but he didn't put up a fight, he never did with you about these things. “Fine,” he muttered, letting you guide him out of the common room.
The hallways of Hogwarts were mostly deserted at this hour. The faint echo of your footsteps bounced off the stone walls as you led him down the stairs to a more secluded corner near the dungeons, where the stone was colder and the shadows thicker. Barty, as always, followed with a mix of curiosity and defiance in his eyes, the corners of his mouth still turned up in that maddening half-smile.
Once you were out of earshot from any stragglers, you stopped and turned to him. 
“Let me see,” you said, reaching for his hand.
Barty raised an eyebrow, but didn’t pull away as you gently lifted his bruised knuckles toward the dim light of a torch. The skin was split in a couple of places, dried blood smeared along his fingers. You swallowed the knot of worry in your throat, your thumb brushing against the cuts.
“What did he say?” you asked quietly.
“Doesn’t matter.” 
“It matters to me,” you insisted, not looking up from his hand.
He sighed, his free hand coming up to run through his dishevelled hair. “Something about my father. About how I’m ‘just like him,’ bound to be a disappointment. Then he said something about you. Called you…” He trailed off, anger clearly still knocked fully out of him. “Well, I don’t think I need to repeat that.”
Your stomach twisted. Avery was known for being a bully, but dragging you into it, using Barty’s relationship with you as some kind of twisted insult, was beyond cruel. Not to mention, beyond stupid.
No wonder Barty had reacted the way he did.
You stopped your inspection of his hand, instead interlacing your fingers with his as you leaned back against the cold stone wall. “You can’t keep doing this, Barty,” you repeated, your voice softer now, the fight draining out of you. “Don’t get me wrong, I understand, really I do. But you can’t just… lose yourself every time someone says something cruel.”
He stepped closer, his intense gaze locking onto yours. “I’m not losing myself,” he said, his voice low, the words a steady pulse of loyalty. “I’m doing what’s necessary. What no one else will do. I’m keeping us safe.”
You shook your head, blinking back the frustration building in your chest. “And what if next time, it’s not just a duel? What if next time you really hurt someone and get in serious trouble for once? Or, gods forbid, they hurt you?”
Barty laughed, a sharp, bitter sound. “They can try, Treasure. But they’ll have to be a hell of a lot smarter than Avery.”
“That’s not the point!” you snapped, pushing off the wall and closing the space between you. You grabbed the front of his shirt, your fingers tangling in the fabric. “You’re going to get yourself killed one day, and I can’t–” Your voice cracked, the weight of your worry pressing down on you. “I can’t stand it.”
His smile faltered, and you saw the flicker of vulnerability in his eyes. It was brief, but it was there, like a flash of lightning in a storm, gone before you could fully grasp it. 
His hands moved to your wrists, gently prying your fingers away from his shirt, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he held your hands in his against his chest, his thumb brushing against your skin in slow circles, grounding you in the moment.
“You worry too much,” he murmured, his voice softer now, as though the fight in him had dulled with the weight of your concern. “I know what I’m doing.”
“You think you do, but you don’t,” you whispered back, your voice almost breaking. “You think throwing yourself into danger is some kind of answer, that it’ll make you feel something, or prove something– either to them, or to yourself. I don’t know, but one day, Barty, it’s going to be too much, and you–”
You cut yourself off, biting down on your lip to keep your voice from shaking. You weren’t sure how to finish that sentence. Thoughts often consumed you of a world where Barty’s recklessness finally caught up to him, your own unhealthy way of coping with your feelings for him. He had his fists, you had your thoughts, and you both had your spirals. The thought of losing him scared you more than anything else.
His fingers tightened around yours, and his eyes flicked madly between yours and your lip you realised had quivered ever so slightly. For a moment, you thought he might agree, that he might actually take what you were saying to heart, but then that familiar smirk curled back up on his lips, and his mask slid into place again.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, his voice low, smooth, with that edge of defiance you knew so well. “Not unless you’re coming with me.”
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding against your ribcage. The way he said it, like it was so simple, like the idea of you not being by his side was unthinkable, made your chest tighten. But it didn’t erase the fear that gnawed at your insides, the knowledge that Barty didn’t care about consequences in the same way you did. He only knew how to burn, and he didn’t care if he burned out in the process.
You took a breath, trying to steady yourself. “You can’t keep fighting for me, Barty. I don’t need–”
“Don’t,” he cut you off. His eyes flashed, something dangerous sparking behind them. “Don’t tell me I can’t fight for you. Don’t tell me to sit back and let people say whatever the hell they want. You are mine to protect, Treasure, whether you like it or not.”
Your breath caught in your throat at his words. There it was again—that raw, possessive streak that ran through Barty like a current, so powerful it was almost overwhelming. The way he looked at you, like you were the one thing in the world that made sense to him, the one thing he could claim as his own, made your heart race. It wasn’t the first time he’d said something like this– something that hinted at what you both knew was there between you.
He never said “I love you,” never asked for anything, but this– this was his way of showing it. He’d destroy anything, anyone, who threatened what was his.
“I am,” you relented softly. “But I usually don’t need protecting. Not like this.”
Barty’s jaw clenched, and he pulled you closer, his forehead resting against yours. His breath was warm against your skin, the scent of smoke still clinging to him.
“Maybe not,” he murmured, his voice so low it was almost a growl. “But I need to protect you. Please understand.”
You froze at that, blinking up at him. His eyes were locked onto yours, and for once, there was no smirk, no playful deflection. Just raw, unfiltered passion. You could see the truth of it there, in the way his fingers held yours so tightly, like he was afraid to let go. 
In his eyes, you understood this part of him more closely. This was the only thing that made him feel like he was in control, like he had some kind of power over the chaos in his life. His father’s expectations, the pressure to be perfect, the constant disappointment looming over him. It all faded when he was with you. With you, he wasn’t a failure. He was needed because he was yours.
Heat rose in your cheeks, the air between you thick with unspoken words, unspoken feelings. His thumb traced the inside of your wrist, sending shivers up your arm. You closed your eyes, trying to find the words, but they stuck in your throat. 
“Barty,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “I… I do understand. But for the same reason, I need you to be safe.”
He swallowed and nodded briefly, his hair falling into his eyes, and consequently yours, black and green strands filling your vision. You laughed a bit, tension clearing for half a second, as you freed one of your hands to push his hair away. You let your hand trail down to ghost across his cheek and jaw.
“Stop treating yourself like you don’t matter,” you whispered.
Whatever remnants of a self-assured smile he had clung to were wiped from his face. He just stared at you, his eyes wide, like he didn’t know what to say. Slowly, as if he was unaware his body was moving, his shoulders slumped, and he leaned further into you, allowing the wall you were leaned against to keep you both upright.
He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Yet you could read his lips – a soft do I? – and you let your hand hold his jaw more securely, as you whispered, “You do, Barty. You do. To me.”
Barty didn’t look at you. His jaw was clenched, his eyes staring down at the stone floor as if it held the answers to everything. For a moment, you thought he might pull away again, retreat behind that mask of bravado and chaos that he wore so well, but then, slowly, he lifted his gaze to meet yours, and the raw pain in his eyes nearly took your breath away.
“You really are all I have,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “If I lose you because of some tosser–”
“You won’t,” you cut him off, flattening your other hand over his heart, feeling the rapid thud of his heartbeat beneath your fingers. “You won’t lose me, Barty. I’m not going anywhere. And neither will you, because I’m not letting you. Wreak havoc as much as you please, but I beg you to be careful.”
Barty’s eyes softened, and he mustered a small smile for you, the one you loved the most. “Well, you know I love it when you beg,” he teased, smile widening when you rolled your eyes and joke scoffed at him. You couldn’t hide your grin – exactly what he was aiming for.
“Very funny, Junior, but I do mean it.”
“I know you do,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he leaned into your touch. Then, so quiet you almost didn’t hear it: “I’m sorry.”
Before he could say another word, you shook your head, humming in disagreement. “Don’t apologise, love, not for caring.”
“No, no. Just sorry for worrying you, s’all.” His eyes remained shut, and your heart ached in acknowledgement of how hard that must be for him to say.
“All I need you to do is be a bit more careful in your chaos and mischief, ‘kay?” You moved your face tentatively closer to his, admiring his features when his guard is down.
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, opening his eyes to look into yours with a small smile playing across his lips. His hands came up to cup your face, his thumb brushing gently against your cheek.
“You drive me crazy, you know that?” he muttered, his voice a mix of frustration and affection. “I don’t know what to do with you.”
“You don’t have to do anything,” you whispered, your heart pounding in your chest. “Just… stay with me.”
For a moment, there was silence. The flicker of the torchlight cast long shadows on Barty’s face, highlighting the vulnerability in his eyes, the way his lips parted like he was about to say something but couldn’t quite bring himself to.
His hands were still on your face, warm and grounding, and you leaned into his touch, feeling the heat of him against your skin. Your nose barely brushed his as you did, and you could swear his breath hitched. With so much raw emotion in the air between you, you let your heart dictate your actions, and you closed the small gap between you, kissing him tentatively.
It was far from the first kiss you and Barty shared, but it was much softer than the others. This was not a drunken party kiss, neither of you were aiming for distraction or entertainment. It felt oddly pure as he kissed you back passionately, but slowly, allowing it to hang between you. This was him letting you in, letting himself be intimate and vulnerable.
“I’ll stay with you,” Barty finally whispered once you separated ever so slightly, his voice so low it was barely audible. “Always.”
He said it with such conviction, such raw honesty, that you knew he meant it. The knot of anxiety that had rested strongly in your chest loosened at his words, reassurance and safety washing over you. 
“Then stop fighting like you’ve got nothing left to lose,” you said softly, your fingers tracing along his neck. “Because you have me, and I'm not letting you go.”
“I have you,” he repeated, looking as if he was deep in thought. His hands tightened on your face, expression hardening for a moment. 
“I want you to know that I’m not on some ego power trip, I’m not like that.” He trailed off, his brow furrowing as if he couldn’t quite find the right words. “It’s about making sure they know I’m not weak. That we’re not weak. It makes me feel, I don’t know… safer.”
You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, smiling to reassure him. “I know you’re not. You’re… scared, which probably feels even worse. But we are okay, we’re fine.”
He swallowed hard, his eyes flickering with something – doubt, maybe, or fear. It was rare to see him uncertain, for a boy who usually lived in absolutes and extremes. You knew how hard it was for him to let anyone see the cracks in his armour, even you, but there was a part of him, the part that clung to you like you were his lifeline, that wanted to believe you. The part you needed to foster.
He let out a shaky breath, nodding slightly again, and for a moment, you both just stood there, the tension between you shifting into something more intimate. His hands slid down from your face to rest on your shoulders, then your waist, pulling you impossibly closer, entirely flush against one another.
“I’m not scared,” he muttered, though his voice lacked its usual conviction. It was like he was speaking to himself more than you.
You smiled faintly, shaking your head. “Liar.”
A huff of laughter escaped his lips, though it was tinged with exhaustion. “Maybe a little,” he admitted, his tone softening in a way it rarely did with anyone but you. “Can you blame me?”
“I never blame you, love.” You leaned down to rest your head against his shoulder, feeling his breathing move you. He hummed at that, but didn't move to say anything else.
“I don’t need you to be perfect, Barty,” you whispered, playing with his hair. “I just need you to stop tearing yourself apart. I just need you to let me care for you like you care for me.”
His arms tightened around you, and you could feel the tension in his muscles, the way he was still fighting some internal battle you couldn’t fully understand.
“You make it sound so easy,” he murmured, his lips brushing the top of your head.
“It’s not,” you said quietly, your fingers tracing lazy patterns along his back. “But you don’t have to do it alone.”
Barty was silent for a long time, his arms still wrapped around you, his breath slow and steady against your hair. You could feel the weight of his emotions pressing down on him, the years of anger and frustration and fear that he’d carried with him for so long. Then, you felt him press a hard kiss to the crown of your head.
“You’re the only thing that makes me feel like… like I’m not falling apart,” he admitted, his words barely above a whisper. Your heart clenched at his confession, and you lifted your head to look up at him. 
“You’re not falling apart,” you said softly, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. “Not while I’m here, I won’t let you.”
Barty’s eyes flickered with something you couldn’t quite name, and before you could react, his lips were on yours again, soft, tentative, but full of the intensity you had come to expect from him. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer, and you could feel the raw desperation in his kiss, the way he was clinging to you like you were the only thing keeping him grounded.
When his lips left yours, his face barely moved, noses still touching and his breath fanning your face. The both of you stood breathing heavily in the quiet hallway, and you came to realise how grateful you should be no one had walked past yet. His eyes searched yours, as if looking for some kind of confirmation that you were still there, that you hadn’t disappeared.
Barty’s lips curled into a small, tired smile, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you saw a flicker of peace in his eyes.
“I’ll be good. Just… stay with me,” he murmured, his voice barely audible.
You smiled softly, your thumb brushing against his cheek. “Always.”
316 notes · View notes