#( seriously considering bringing back one of my old blogs or smth )

[shxwmaster]

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[symptoms-syndrome]

hey, i hope this is not too syscourse-y to ask (if it is feel free to ignore), but how do you not let syscourse get to you? i have most things related to it blacklisted but every once in a while i will come across posts where ppl talk about "being plural", being "a system" etc. in That Way and i ignore it every time but i have a hard time regrouping afterwards and keeping straight what is what even though i know what they discuss is different from what i have.

This probably won't be syscourse specific, since I sorta disengaged from online discoursing before I was diagnosed, but hopefully this will still be helpful.

I block tags, blogs, etc liberally

I feel like people act like it's some huge thing for you to block a blog when like...most of the time they don't even know you've blocked them. If I see something I don't like, I block the blog. I don't want someone I've seen have stupid takes in the past to add one to my posts, so I block in advance. Hell, you don't have to "be in the community" for anything if you don't want to. I've done whole social media purges where I unfollowed dozens of blogs of smth I was into because it was bringing me more stress than it was worth, and I just talked about that stuff with my small group of friends. Just because you don't engage with X on social media doesn't make you any less of a "real" X or whatever.

Consider why you're engaging in discourse

"Engaging," in this context, means anything from scrolling tags you know you'll find things that upset you, visiting blogs you know have takes you don't like, picking fights with people online, posting things you know will cause controversy just because you want someone to argue with you, etc. Is it because you're bored? Is it because you have aggression you want to get out? Is it because you don't feel secure in your opinion until you debate it with someone? Is it because you want to show that you have The Right Opinion? What need isn't being met that you're trying to fill by arguing with people online? There are other ways to fill that need.

Remember you don't have to get everyone to agree with you

Let me frame this with a little humblebrag: public speaking is something I am very good at. I have been paid to facilitate conversation around stuff like racism, mental health, etc. And this is to say, according to third parties, I am good enough at "discourse LARPing" that people are willing to pay me money for it. And yet, even when I use my most even tone and most eloquent arguments and provide direct sources etc etc etc, there are still people who will vehemently "no u." Online even more so, because since there isn't a face and a name along with a blog (usually,) people get more combative and more argumentative. At some point, you just have to give up and hope that some day later on, they'll reflect on what you said and possibly change their minds on their own. But they might not. But that's okay.

Know when it's appropriate to discourse

One of the worst experiences on Tumblr dot bad have been when you're venting about something, and someone you don't even know comes in with an "um, actually-", especially when it's something you already know. Sometimes ppl just gotta vent, and you have to respect that and let them.

Get a hobby

No seriously. I know it's a common like. Insult or whatever, but seriously. Find something else you're passionate about. Not to sound old beyond my age, but being on the internet too much is bad for you. Find something else to do so that Tumblr (or wherever else you're seeing these things u don't agree with) doesn't take up so much of your time.

Volunteer IRL for something you're passionate about

I used to be involved in soooo much discourse online, and then I started volunteering, then working, in IRL social justice spaces. Not only did this show me what parts of discourse were 100% online issues and thus...not really relevant at all IRL (and IMO not worth getting worked up about) but it also cemented in me the opinions that I REALLY care about, and strengthened them.

This last point I think is most important. Online discourse doesn't. Really ultimately change much. It's wayyy more stress than it's worth. When's the last time you felt accomplished or happy doing online discourse? For me, I don't think I ever did. I did it to get mad. But when you've actually organized that protest or finished that speaking engagement or whatever? You feel accomplished and happy, and like you've changed something. You get more positive feedback than negative, usually.

A lot of nonprofits you can just sign up to volunteer for, and a lot even give you training. Or just go to a protest and socialize and you'll find someone who has connections to something. I got my position at a nonprofit because I got confused about what time to arrive to their community center and just. Sat in on a meeting and then they asked if I was coming back next week. A lot of nonprofits are super open to new members, and are MUCH more forgiving than online discoursers. If you make a mistake you get gentle correction or helpful education instead of shaming. You don't even have to do it regularly if you don't like. Just stay away from the big corporate-y ones like Peace Corps or Americorps and stuff.

This is super messy I wrote it at work between breaks LMAO I'll probably revisit later, but LMK if this is helpful or u have any other questions or smth