#( rex is just a GREAT character and i feel like sometimes some things are overlooked :') )

[jaigalorad]

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐉𝐀𝐈𝐆  𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒  𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓.

𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤  :  it’s  not  spoken  anywhere  in  regards  to  rex’s  canon  upon  how  he  had  recieved  the  mandalorian’s  jaig  eyes.  so  here  is  both  my  prediction  and  headcanon  on  how  he  had  earned  them.  so  i  will  discuss  the  official  star  wars  definition  of  the  jaig  eyes  and  who  exactly  has  the  authority  to  bestow  it.  fun  fact  before  i  scuba  dive  into  this,  i  got  inpsired  to  write  this  becuase like  in  real  life  hindu  symbols,  they  are  often  taken, missused,  abused,  and  misunderstood.  i  wanted  to  recognize  and  emphasize  that  rex  uses  a  symbol  from  a  culture  not  his  own  and  thus  carries  the  meaning  with  a  educated - based  pride  with  it

𝙙𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣  :  a  simplification  of  jai’galaar’la  sur’haii’se,  translating  as  “shriek - hawk  eyes”   in  Mando’a,  and  more  commonly  reffered  to  simply  as  jaig  -  were  a  Mandalorian  sigil  bestwoed  by  clan  leaders  as  a mark  of  honor,  awarded  for  particular  acfts  of  bravery.

𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙤  :  rex  was  a  FIRST  generation  clone  soldier,  therefore  must  have  been  trained  b  mandalorian  warriors  that  volunteered  in  the  kaminoan / republic  project  of  engineering  a  cloned  army  ⎯  at  least  those  that  might  have  been  around  at  the  time.  despite  on  how  many  i  see  others’  view  on  rex,  he  is a little more  older  than  we  usually  think.  as  per  the  first  2D  animated  clone  wars  show,  captain  fordo  was  technically  the  first  clone  soldier  on  screen  to  bear  the  sigil.  next  was  captain  rex  who  in  fact  is  a  different  character  but  was  literally  based  off  of  fordo  (  i’m  taking  this  from  an  interview  with  dave  filoni  himself  i currently don't have a link )  initially  wanted  alpha / fordo  but  didn’t  want  the  ‘A’  alliteration  with  anakin  and  ahsoka,  so  he  created  rex.

rex is not just . . . brave. he's far more stoic, firm, and speaks with conviction. he's not some happy go lucky guy who loves his bros. his brothers just like him are a tool, and this is CRITICAL to understand the reason how he was able to earn this sigil. this is never to say he can't empathize, but why should he if that would just bring more emotion and drama? this is war, and he and his men alike all clones understand this resolve. emotions are a luxury and it's not something worth fighting for. this allows him to committ actions, such as saving ahsoka by killing his own men after his chip removal. ahsoka was the one to order rex to only stun them, she didn't want to kill them, rex wouldn't give a damn at this point in their situation.

𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙮  :  rex  was  taken  separately  from  his  squad  by  astute  observation  done  upon  him  for  his  military  tactics  and  leadership  and  put  into  a  rigourous  trainging  group  with  captain  fordo  into  becoming  realiable  leaders  within  the  army.  rex’s  first  official  battle  in  the  books  after  his  commander  training  by  mandalorian  warriors  was  the  first  battle  of  geonosis.  yoda  blazed  into  the  arena  where  general  obi  wan  kenobi,  anakin  skywalker,  and  senator  amidala  were  marking  the  severity  of  the  separists  crists  against  the  republic  and  vice  versa  on  22BBY.  this  was  the  first  entry  of  the  clone  army,  the  captain  hadn’t  et  earned  his  title  until  becoming  spedicially  involveed  with  senator  amidala  herself  once  anakin  had  embarked  on  the  chase  with  kenobi  to  capture  dooku  for  commmitting  terrorism  against  the  republic.  it  was  rex  that  assisted  her  and  secured  her  saftey  until  dooku  had  espcaped  yoda,  and  thus  marked  the  beginning  of  the  clone  wars.  anakin  selected  rex  to  be  his  first  in  command  of  the  501st  torrent  company  and  was  soon  gifted  the  jaig  eye  sigil  by  his  trainers  back  from  kamino  -  high  praise  from  the  chosen  one  had  demonstrated  rex’s  resolve  and  dedication  based  on  the  lenghts  rex  would  go  through  in  order  to  acheive  the  jedi’s  orders  and  priorities.

𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩  𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚  𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙨  :  he  continues  to  bear  the  sigil.  but  the  mearning  as  to  whom  it  was  meant  to  express  as  a  whole  changed  once  the  execution  order  66  was  implemented.  technically,  clones  are  republic  propert  and  he  understands  that  if  that  was  one  of  the  man  uses  he  and  his  brothers  were  meant  for,  it  still  held  true.  his  dut  was  to  the  republic.  however  his  allegiance  changed  back  to  the  jedi  after  ahsoka  removed  his  regulation  chip  after  the  seige  of  mandalore.  his  view  upon  the  endowment  is not  so  defined  simply  beause  the  change  of  his  allegiance  was  not  his  choice.  [  more  on  this  later ]

𝙤𝙗𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣  :  rex  out  of  any  of  the  many  well  trained  commander  clones  it  was  rex  anakin,  the  chosen  one,  selected  (  from  a  clone  wars  novel  i  forgot  but  vidly  remember  ).  anakin  is  paramount  to  rex’s  character  and  is  why  he  took  importance  in  the  clone  wars  show.  i  refuse  to  believe  anakin  wouldn’t  pick  just  anyone,  and  thus  saw  something  in  rex  that  would  fulfill  anakin’s  role  as  jedi.  and  later  even  became  as  close  as  brothers.  which  is  another  reason  why  i  think  the  clone  wars  season  7,  the  partnership  and  dyad - like  duoship  between  rex  and  ahsoka  was  atestament  to  that  relationship  with  anakin.  the  two  closest  friends  had  to disconnect  from  the  very  conflict  that  brotught  them  all  together  ⎯  and  ultimately  their  demise

rex  will  serve  as  a  reminder  to  me  that  this  man  had  been  through  it  all  what  made  anakin  who  he  really  was  later.  and  he  would  never  dare  question  the  darkness  in  him,  and  that,  is  true  bravery  of  a  soldier.

[itsclydebitches]

About crosshair. Again lol

Regardless of his scar not lining up with chip scar or the headaches or “soldiers follow orders” again. Or him without a chip being a liability to the empire. I just don’t buy his personality change in the end. I’m the pilot episode they hammered it over our heads it’s very unlike him to follow orders. He said himself “empire or republic, what’s the difference?” But now in the end he cares about the empire protecting the galaxy? Responds to hunter his choice is “soldiers follow orders”? Wtf, really? So he genuinely believes his only personality is being a soldier now? when it’s been established in both in cw and tbb that cf99, including crosshair only cared about completing the mission. I get that people change but not that abruptly especially if we are to believe techs “unyielding” description of him to be true. Echo is the one true soldier of the group. He keeps repeating to hunter “we are soldiers not smugglers”, “there is no other way than being soldiers” etc. but he is clearly loyal to the republic. And I never saw echo and crosshair to be similar in that

So yeah , I think it’s very out of character for crosshair to just see himself as soldier and being content with following order or being a pawn(which he must realize he is cause he’s not dumb) especially with his mega inflated sense of self importance. Just my two cents

Crosshair is a complicated character! There's a lot to discuss :D

That's a good point though. And yeah, as acknowledged the quick personality change could be chalked up to chip influence if it's still having some kind of impact... but if it's not, then what do we make of that?

Putting aside the "It's just bad writing" possibility, I think there's a key difference between not following orders and not being loyal to the organization giving those orders. They're not necessarily the same thing, though it's easy to lump the two together. Yeah, we see early on that the Bad Batch isn't known for doing things the "right" way. Rex and Jesse are pretty unsure about their methods when the Batch first shows up in TCW. In the pilot Tech has a line about how "We're more deviant than defective" emphasizing that they tend to do things differently. Crosshair's sudden willingness to follow orders to the letter, not just in spirit, is questioned during their time in the cell, etc. So yeah, they don't obey the rules, but I don't think that's because they're not loyal. They're not refusing orders because pff, screw the Republic/Empire, who cares about those guys. They're refusing orders because they recognize that their way of doing things—the unconventional methods that deviate from the standard clone playbook—is more likely to net them, and the Republic, a success. They seem to be against the Republic's rules because they want the Republic to succeed, recognizing that their way is the best way to get that. Wrecker takes great pride in their successful missions, keeping tally marks on their room's wall. Crosshair is constantly pointing out how the higher ups called them in because the Regs couldn't complete a mission, likewise emphasizing his pride in being needed. When Rex and Hunter finally start bonding, it's through Rex's decision to charge the droids head on, precisely like the Batch would, rather than following the "correct" strategy of carefully picking them off from the tree line. They bond over the understanding of, "Yes. This is the best way the Republic wins." Perhaps most significantly, the Batch was still willing to complete missions for the Empire up until they were ordered to kill civilians. Killing Jedi resulted in an acknowledgement of how messed up that was... but no solid intent to leave.

All of the above is important because it establishes the Batch's need to be loyal to something other than themselves. The kind of loyalty that is shown through intense, life-threatening acts of service. Hunter's line about them being loyal to each other rather than some Empire, while true, is a simplification. Their loyalty to the Republic and their loyalty to one another overlap in many, many significant ways, simply because the Batch was created for the Republic. They have literally spent their entire lives living, breathing, fighting, and almost dying for the Republic. Their core identities stem from the Republic's desires: skills they want them to cultivate and even personalities they want to foster, if Tech's theories are to be believed (that conversation with Wrecker in the mess hall). The loyalty the Batch feels, those bonds they formed over the years, stem entirely from completing missions for the Republic. Their love for one another is, at least at the start, a product of the Republic's desire for Good Soldiers. And yeah, they sometimes did things the Republic technically didn't like, but it was always in service of achieving the Republic's end goal, whatever that may have been. They were very good soldiers, just soldiers that understood the value of creative thinking. "You want me to reach this location? Of course! I'll reach it by cutting across the grass, despite you asking me to follow the path already laid out. But our goal and the Regs' goal is exactly the same: fulfill your mission. That's our purpose in this life."

And then the Republic became the Empire.

Every one of these characters has a need to serve some higher purpose, to complete missions for the benefit of another. Overlooking the very literal ways in which they may have been genetically predisposed towards this (like the chip), and the cultural brainwashing that went on the second they were born (this is your duty, this is your purpose, this is all you exist for), this is, simply put, all they've ever known. Though it's possible to walk away from that need, it's by no means easy. So what saves the majority of the Batch from falling into that "Republic, Empire, what's the difference?" thinking out of a need to serve someone?

Omega.

I think it's crucial that the second they abandon one mission—killing civilians for the Empire—there's already new mission waiting for them to focus on instead—rescue and protect Omega, indefinitely. That's Hunter's thinking. We're not going to do A, we're going do B instead. All they did was put that single-minded focus onto a new target, but the focus—the need—still exists. And we see that throughout the first season, where everything the Batch does is in service to Omega. Their life decisions revolve entirely around her, from very small things (here's your own room on the ship) to the much larger (we need to stay on the move to help you avoid bounty hunters, even if we may want to find someplace to stay). The purpose of a soldier has been mapped onto the purpose of a parent, with the new, ongoing goal being "Raise Child" as opposed to "Win War." Putting aside for the moment the fact that this is an action-adventure show and thus exciting plot has to happen, I think it's notable that no one suggests non-soldier-y things to help them make money. Tech isn't offering his intellect as an easy way to make credits, nor Wrecker his strength. No one is seriously thinking of a planet they could hide out on, even from bounty hunters, so as to raise Omega in peace. They are still, fundamentally, the people they were during the time of the Republic, people who need to fight for something. Literally fight. It's just now they're chaotically fulfilling missions for Cid so they can give Omega a halfway decent life, rather than chaotically fulfilling missions for a general so they can give the Republic a chance at winning the war.

Omega is the new focus, the new Republic stand-in, but what happens if she's not an option? (Would have been really interesting to see what the Batch did if she'd actually left with Cut.) Without the chip affecting his thoughts, I fully believe Crosshair would have left with the others. Why wouldn't he? That's his family and, per Hunter's orders, Omega is the new mission. But the chip ensured he missed that chance and by the time he came out of it (if he came out of it), it was too late. His squad was gone, they never came back, and Crosshair needs to find a new place in this galaxy, just like they did. Except his options are far more limited and suck a whole lot more. I can't recall anything that implies Crosshair thinks the Empire will save the galaxy, but he does think it's going to control it and he's looking for his own purpose in this new life. Why not find purpose in the winning side? He can serve the Empire just like they served the Republic. He can serve the Empire just like his squad now serves Omega. The need to belong somewhere, to have that larger goal, outweighs those pesky ethical issues, at least for now. Though to me the "Good soldiers follow orders" really, really still sounds like chip influence, it can also be read as a broader acknowledgment that yes, they are fundamentally soldiers and yes, they do need orders of one kind or another. They need that mission. That goal. That purpose. Someone who helps to guide them in this new, crazy galaxy. Yeah, they've always bent and gotten creative with the orders, but until 4/5ths of them left the Empire, they'd never ignored the orders as a whole. None of the Bad Batch went, "I'm not taking this mission because the Admiral was an asshole to us about it and I don't feel like it :/" They suck up all the hard parts—the awful treatment, the danger, the general difficulty—because they have a goal to fulfill. They live for having a goal, literally in the sense that this is what they were made for. The Bad Batch is still doing that with Cid, putting up with bad treatment, dangerous situations, and general difficulty because they have that larger goal of taking care of Omega. Crosshair missed out on that, so he latched onto the Empire instead. Which circles right back around to previous points that if the Batch had tried to rescue him and/or been more welcoming when offering his return, Crosshair likely would have joined in on the Omega mission too. It's the best new purpose for all of them.

Crosshair sees himself as a soldier because, right now, being a soldier of the Empire is the only way he can find the purpose and belonging that the rest of the Batch maintained with each other and Omega, back when he was left behind. No, he's not dumb, but the logistics of the situation outweigh his knowledge that things are far from perfect. Do we think the Batch doesn't also realize that Cid is continually taking advantage of them with 70/30 splits? Of course not. But they need a way to survive and, right now, this is it. Crosshair likewise recognizes that the Empire is treating him as a pawn—I think he was in denial prior to the bombing, but now he definitely knows—but what other option is there? Not his squad. As discussed, he feels strongly that he's no longer welcome with them, with good reason. The only other option is to go off on his own, something that's incredibly foreign to clones who were bred to serve that higher purpose alongside many, many brothers. Yes, we've seen one or two who manage that—like Cut—but they're the outliers. Rex found his new purpose fighting the Empire with Ahsoka. The Batch found their new purpose taking care of Omega with each other. Crosshair's new purpose is... nothing. Not unless he swallows down his misgivings (and his ego) and keeps serving the Empire until a better purpose comes along.

[soclonely]

10, 11, 14, 18, 26 for salty asks!

10.Most disliked arc? Why?

Mortis Arc. Idk why but it never really fit in with my brain. I think it could have been done a lot better but it just.. felt like a weird attempt of a filler but important to the story sidepiece

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

JarJar. I really just enjoy how ridiculous he is and just the gungans in general. They went out of their way to help fight for Naboo and I feel like thats sometimes overlooked. Some of the fandom does them dirty. But I will always appreciate poor Jarjar doing accidental success on the battlefield.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

People get way too into the shipping sometimes. But then again I am a clown who gives life to weird background characters ;gfndsjkg

18.Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

No def not. I mean I am not like, into anidala (yes I KNOW DON'T COME FOR ME) but I mean everyone has different tastes and thats what makes it so great. We get more diverse content, not everyone writing the same shipping things over and over again

26. Most shippable character?

I think Captain Rex because we get to see so many different sides of him, when he is happy or hurt, when he is in middle of a large victory or a huge loss. He is just so rounded its easy to fall in love with and put him into all of these situations.

[twilightofthe]

Anakin Skywalker Has ADHD.  Here’s Why:

I’ve noticed during my time as a neurodivergent person in the Star Wars community that Anakin, a favorite character of mine, displays a lot of neurodivergent traits.  Other people have noticed this too; in particular, @bpdanakins has made a really in depth and detailed post explaining how Anakin having BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) makes a whole lotta sense.  I’ve got ADHD, so this post is gonna be about how I as an ADHD individual see Anakin Skywalker as having ADHD too!!!

Note: Symptoms of ADHD include inability to focus and disorganization.  I have ADHD.  This post is gonna be a wee bit disorganized and I probs won’t be the best at citing a million sources cuz I do not have the mental focus to do that right now.  Thank ye.

So, what is ADHD? (Complicated.  The answer is complicated.) (If you don’t want the general ADHD lecture, just scroll down to where I start talking about Anakin particularly).

ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurological disorder that impairs the brain’s executive functions.  People with ADHD have trouble with impulse-control, focusing, and organization.  Basically, ADHD is a developmental weakness in how the brain manages itself.  I like to picture it like a filing cabinet.  Everyone else’s brain has a neatly sorted, labeled, and organized cabinet full of drawers that contain typical brain executive function commands.  ADHD people’s brains have a monkey in them that runs around screeching loudly, ripping labels off drawers, rearranging stuff, throwing the files everywhere, eating the papers and generally making a gigantic mess, so whatever you need to go to the drawers to look for something, it takes you ten times longer to find the mental command you need to do if it’s even still there-- and also the monkey is biting your leg the entire time.

People tend to say that this monkey infestation is a gift because sometimes, occasionally, the monkey will rearrange the papers in a different, special way that makes a beautiful picture that no one’s seen before and you can share it for the world to enjoy and everything’s great, you’re just quirky!  People tend to forget that it can be like that, but 90% of the time it’s more like the monkey has decided to take a massive shit all over the one specific paper you needed really badly and then put it in front of your foot so you step in it and don’t notice until people point out you’re tracking monkey shit paper everywhere.  Anyway.

ADHD is a complex condition and difficult to diagnose because it has so many different varying symptoms, and one person who has ADHD may experience none of the symptoms than another person who also has ADHD does and vice versa because there is a lot.  ADHD also tends to go unnoticed because it overlaps symptoms with a LOT of other mental illnesses an individual might have, so you might not even know you have ADHD if you’re also, say, autistic or bipolar, or again vice versa, because there’s a lot of “same hat” stuff going on there.  

ADHD also can have its own subcategories of mental illness that can also stand on their own, like ADHD-induced anxiety or ADHD-induced depression.  It can be really confusing to know everything going on in your head and put a label on it; for example for me, my doctors and I think I’ve got a separate anxiety disorder that works on its own that my ADHD makes worse, but that the depressive episodes I can suffer likely stem from my ADHD, and don’t need to be tackled individually or say that I have depression.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has previously identified three subtypes of ADHD:

Primarily Hyperactive-Impulsive type: Mainly have impulse control problems, tend to be impulsive, impatient, and interrupt others.  They fidget, hate sitting still/need to be in constant movement, tend to blurt out what’s on their mind or do what they feel like without thinking it through.  They’re constantly up with the thoughts in their head and have difficulty focusing on a single task unless they’re in hyperfocus mode (explaining more later)

Primarily Inattentive type:  Are easily distracted and forgetful.  Tend to be daydreamers who lose track of memories and personal items with regularity.

Primarily Combined type: Tend to display a mixture of both symptoms.  I was diagnosed as a child with the combined type but leaning more towards inattentive.

Anakin and Signs of ADHD:

SO.  For starters, I see Anakin as primarily combined type with heavy leanings toward hyperactive-impulsivity.  While this type is used to describe the stereotypical hyper little boy media tends to paint ADHD people as, adults can have it too and I see it a lot in Anakin.  ADHD magazine ADDitude gives examples of adults with h-i ADHD as people who find difficulty in waiting around for anything, interrupt others in conversation, make impulsive decisions, and have reckless driving skills.  Sound at all like someone we know?

Now Anakin absolutely checks all of the above boxes, but it’s way more than that, though.  I looked up Healthline’s basic signs and symptoms of Adult ADHD, and I am going to run down the list to show how basically all of them apply to Anakin Skywalker in one way or another.  Let’s begin!

Anakin and LACK OF FOCUS:  ADDitude suggests that saying ADHD people don’t have attention might be a bit misleading.  More accurately, ADHD people have tons of attention, we just can’t harness it in the right direction at the right time with any consistency.  In canon, it is made very clear to us very early on that Anakin has issues with some of the more spiritual aspects of Jedi training, like meditation, because he does not possess the focus necessary to concentrate.  We get other times when Anakin’s on missions with Obi Wan, where it is made clear Anakin has read the mission brief, but he hasn’t done a good job on it as he’s overlooked something.  He gets distracted while in diplomatic situations and Obi Wan needs to tell him to pay attention.  Palpatine is able to pull sketchy shit because he knows how to slip under Anakin’s radar while he’s not too focused on him.  Anakin isn’t always aware of his surroundings, seeing as how basically everyone who knows him knows about Padmé because he’s not good at being subtle; he’s not good at reading a room.  Canon has established that Anakin, while brilliant, has a very flighty attention span and unless it’s something that is deeply important to him or made glaringly obvious, his brain has a tendency to skip over it, and makes him less aware.

Anakin and HYPERFOCUS:  The flip side of ADHD focus issues.  While our brains don’t always want to pay attention to important rules or other peoples’ emotions or basically anything presented to us that we find boring in any shape or form, if we find something we like, we LATCH.  ON.  And we cannot stop concentrating on it, up until the point that we lose track of time and ignore others around us.  In canon, it is shown very easily what Anakin hyperfocuses on.  He’s described in several SW books and is shown in show and movies to completely go into a zone when in combat mode.  He’s good at it, he enjoys it, and saber skills is easily something that he can concentrate and get lost in.  Another obvious one is mechanics.  We see briefly in TCW and bits in the movies where when Anakin is fixing something or piloting something, he kind of drifts away from reality-- he’s got an ear on the situation if there’s danger of course, but he goes just solidly into Tech Mode where all he concentrates on is whatever he’s fixing/piloting at the moment, and that’s why he’s so skilled at what he does.  It’s also possible to hyperfocus on specific ideas or opinions, which you can see in basically every argument Anakin ever gets into with someone.  He’s like a dog with a bone on a topic he wants to discuss Right Now This Very Second and he will not let it go, nor will he allow you to either, because when we hyperfocus, our fixation can bleed into conversation until it takes control of the conversation, without us even knowing we’re doing it, so it can be surprising/embarrassing when someone points out we’re doing it. 

Anakin and DISORGANIZATION:  ADHD people basically struggle with organizational skills.  While we don’t see much of Anakin’s living spaces, we can see from the brief TCW snippets that his living quarters are a little cluttered.  However, he does run a relatively neat army-- though we don’t know how much of that has Rex, Ahsoka, Obi Wan, or someone else to thank for it.  In Anakin, most of the disorganization we see is in his mind.  Priorities can be an issue for ADHD people, and Anakin tends to prioritize the wrong thing at the wrong time at certain points.  He doesn’t always know what to say or how to say it, making him awkward and not very eloquent when speaking.

Anakin and TIME MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS: An issue that goes hand-in-hand with disorganization.  We have trouble using time effectively.  We procrastinate on things we don’t want to do, show up late, ignore things we consider boring, and the idea of the future or the past is overwhelming and or scary to us and can cause panic-- we need to focus on the now and the now alone because if we try to cross that bridge before we get to it, we might end up burning it.  All throughout TCW, we get Obi Wan in particular, but others as well, harping on Anakin for showing up late.  And, uh, he kinda does.  He makes it, he always does, but it’s always at the last minute just when everyone’s worried he’s not gonna show up.  He sometimes doesn’t go to important meetings.  He puts off paperwork.  Lots of people use all of this to make fun of him, be like “ah, he’s a bad Jedi, he’s lazy”, but like, that’s standard ADHD time management issues.  And fear of the future?  Hoo boy...  Anakin may handle his fears of the future in the literal worst way possible, but that overwhelming anxiety that everything’s rushing at you so fast and holy shit, you don’t have your shit together NOW, what the hell are you gonna do THEN, holy shit holy shit everyone’s gonna DIE PANIC PANIC DANGER PANIC--  Like, I get that.  I really do.  Fear of the future and inability to manage time overlap a lot.

Anakin and FORGETFULNESS:  ADHD have a tendency to forget important stuff, but here is where I remind y’all that not all ADHD people experience all the same symptoms, because Anakin actually has a really damn good memory.  Boy is sharp, he recalls really obscure stuff, and if you piss him off/do him a favor, he’s remembering that to his deathbed. Anakin, however, does display what is common in ADHD people, having a selective memory.  This goes hand in hand with our attention issues.  We remember what we focused on and that sticks in our mind: hopes, fears, interests, stuff like that.  Anything else?  Eh, if we didn’t notice it then, we’re not noticing it five years from then, or even five minutes from then.  That you can see in Anakin, where people like Ahsoka and Obi Wan have to teasingly remind him of important stuff that he tends to just shrug off like “oh yeah that thing that I didn’t care about then and don’t really care about now”, or he feels guilty cuz “oops I didn’t notice it then so now I’m lost”

Anakin and IMPULSIVITY: Aight y’all, this probably requires the least amount of explanation for Anakin Skywalker cuz the Star Wars narrative calls him impulsive like every ten seconds xD  ADHD people with impulsivity can be socially inappropriate (Anakin, always managing to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, king of escalating tense situations because he blurts out whatever he feels like), interrupt others (something Padmé and Ahsoka have both canonically called him on doing, he does it to plenty of others as well, Vader does it all the damn time by just force-choking people silent), rushing through tasks (”Oh Anakin, always on the move”.  He does not wait, he makes up plans as he goes, he’s constantly in motion), ACTING WITHOUT MUCH CONSIDERATION TO THE CONSEQUENCES (Examples: The entirety of Star Wars episodes 1-6, Star Wars: The Clone Wars)

Anakin and EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS: Alright, maybe THIS is the one that requires the least amount of explanation, haha.  ADHD peoples’ emotions seem constantly in flux.  We get bored easily and need constant entertainment. (Anakin running off doing crazy stuff seemingly for fun)  Small frustrations always feel like the end of the world because it takes over our entire brain. (Anakin being “overdramatic/overreacting”)  The slightest sense of rejection or negativity towards our ideas or anything we do can read as total hatred (this is called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, it SUCKS) so we’re oversensitive about criticism of basically anything.  RSD also means we’re paranoid that we’re not noticing other people’s emotions, so we always tend to worry everyone else hates us or our friends are going to leave us-- we have serious abandonment issues. (Basically all of Anakin worrying about the Jedi’s image of him, worrying about Padmé and Obi Wan loving him, freaking out over Ahsoka leaving, etc.)  Our mind is focusing on a million things at once so our emotions run super quickly, causing what looks like mood swings because in the time it takes someone to get surprised, we’ve already gone through surprise, confusion, realization, betrayal, fury, and sadness and are now “randomly” crying in front of you (Anakin and his mood swings).  Focus issues make us not realize that something we’re doing is upsetting/bothering someone unless they flat out say it, so we may seem mean/inconsiderate/careless (ok, not excusing that part of Anakin’s personality is that he’s just kind of a dick lol, but other stuff that he does seems accidental; he doesn’t want to hurt anyone he loves).

Anakin and POOR SELF-IMAGE:  HOOOO BOY THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!  So adults with ADHD are often hypercritical of themselves, which can lead to a poor self-image.  I do this a lot, and I can’t really explain why, just that I am frustrated with myself and need validation from outside sources.  Anakin verbally expresses this to Padmé and Palpatine in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith especially with all his “I’m not the Jedi I’m supposed to be” bits, how he constantly puts pressure on himself in the novels to be “the very best, I have to be better than everyone, I SHOULD be”, the conflict with that Chosen One label and whether he believes it or not and the pressure he feels from others to fulfill it, to be the Hero With No Fear when he’s fucking terrified all the time.  He’s relentlessly hard on himself for his failures and is always looking for an insult in others’ words (Like if Obi Wan gives him gentle concrit, Anakin will subconsciously tear it apart to turn it into how Obi Wan has found an error with all of him and hates him and Anakin sucks). For all his pride in his abilities, Anakin really does not like himself, poor dear, and seeks outside validation in Padmé, Palpatine, and Obi Wan.

Anakin and LACK OF MOTIVATION: Also ties back to focus issues again, if we don’t like it, our brain won’t focus on it, and we can’t convince ourselves to do it.  We can see this in times where Anakin has to be gently (or not so gently) prodded by Obi Wan or Ahsoka or someone into doing some Jedi business Anakin considers annoying.

Anakin and RESTLESSNESS AND ANXIETY: It’s described as our “motor won’t shut off”.  We always need to keep moving and doing things, and we get frustrated when we can’t do something immediately.  There are also bodily tics with fidgeting or frequent hand movements.  We see this several times with Anakin during wartime, where he’s practically vibrating over having to play the long waiting game instead of rushing in and getting the job done immediately (See: on Naboo where Anakin is pacing a hole into the floor and Obi Wan is telling him to kindly chill pls).  Part of his issues in ROTS happen when he’s worked himself up into a frenzy over sitting not knowing what to do over what’s scaring him so he jumps the gun and goes with the first available (awful) option.  I don’t remember if this is Hayden or if this is me projecting, sorry, but I always feel that when I watch Hayden in the movies, he always portrays Anakin as vaguely squirmy/fidgety, not really ever sitting PERFECTLY still, like he’s always moving some body part, fiddling with something in his hands or on his clothes.  In TCW and the OT especially, we see how hand-wavey he is when he talks, especially when he’s pissed, then the Finger Wag Of Doom comes out, but his hands are ALWAYS in motion.

Anakin and FATIGUE: It’s as the word describes it, we feel tired.  All the craziness in our head is overwhelming and we just.  Feel.  Tired.  We don’t see this as clearly in Anakin because all the Jedi seem fatigued, they’re fighting a fucking hopeless war, but it’s definitely there.  He has sleeping problems with his dreams and nightmares that spawn from his anxiety that could easily be ADHD-induced; they’re there.

Anakin and HEALTH PROBLEMS: Long story short, it’s basically all your ADHD issues making you neglect to take care of yourself.  We see how Anakin has unhealthy coping mechanisms, neglects sleep, and throws himself into reckless, dangerous situations.  He does not take care of himself very well at all.

Anakin and RELATIONSHIP ISSUES:  Ruh roh...  Aight, so all of the symptoms above can very obviously prove to be hurdles in professional, romantic, or platonic situations.  We can see how all the above examples in Anakin have in one way or another caused an argument between himself and basically everyone he loves (Obi Wan, Padmé, Ahsoka), people he has to work with (the Jedi council, anyone he gets assigned to on a mission), and anyone else.  He’s not called a human disaster for no reason, his actions can make him rub people very much the wrong way, and being kind of lonely and awkward and with not many friends is unfortunately a common occurrence in the lives of ADHD people (It happened to me, and I would consider myself much more of a pleasant individual than Anakin (no offense, hon), other people who met me just thought I was “strange” and that was that).

WHEW.  So yes, all of the above state my reasons why I think Anakin Skywalker has ADHD (as well as anxiety, but that’s another post).  Please remember once more that these are MY EXPERIENCES AS AN INDIVIDUAL WITH ADHD and that once again, NOT ALL ADHD PEOPLE SHARE THE SAME EXPERIENCES/SYMPTOMS

I will give the two articles I bothered fact-checking with below, the one from Healthline and from ADDitude

If y’all wanna talk more about ADHD!Anakin or any other ADHD Star Wars characters or just neurodivergent Star Wars character headcanons with me, my inbox and DM’s are always open, I love talking about this!!!!!!!!!

[anstarwar]

A Beautiful Day

This little story wouldn’t leave my brain alone, so I had to get it out.  

Characters: Ahsoka + Rex (my fav BroTP) Word Count: 1,717 Content Warning: Character Death, sadness Synopsis: It’s around 10 ABY. Rex lay dying, but at peace.  Ahsoka and Rex reflect on the war, life, and each other

I get a little sappy when it comes to these two, and I’m not a great writer by a long shot, but if you’re reading, I hope you enjoy!

The sun streamed through the open windows and front door of the small cabin.  The dappled light painted the room and everything seemed to shimmer.  Rex smiled to himself, quietly observing his small home and reflecting.  He never could have imagined the end would look like this.

His life was spent on the edge.  In battle, constantly assuming each moment would be his last.  In downtime, nerves shot and body ready to spring into action at the slightest hint of disturbance.  All the clones carried that with them, it’s what they were made for, death and destruction.  None of them dared hold the thought of peace and normalcy too close, it just wasn’t in the cards for them.

For many it wasn’t, but somehow, against all odds, it was for Rex.  But, then again, his life was never quite like that of his brothers.  He had lived the last 5 years of his life in relative peace, finding a quiet cabin on a forested Outer Rim planet to spend his remaining years.  He had lost Gregor on Lothal and Wolffe to the battle of Endor.

 Despite his losses, he was lucky. Again he smiled to himself, what a funny word to use, “lucky.” Someone on the outside might not agree.  He had seen so much death, lost so many people he loved, but he still felt lucky.  

Somehow he had been spared time after time and in his quiet moments he wondered: was something looking out for him? Was it the Force that wrapped itself around him when he was first created, for some reason choosing him to continue where others fell?  Here, at the end of it, he latched onto that thought, taking comfort in knowing there might be something out there greater than himself, greater than all living things.

A small knock on the door frame roused him from his reflection.  The figure was in shadow, but he knew the form all too well.  His Commander, his greatest friend, checking-in on him.  

“Come-in, Commander.”  Rex said through raspy, slow breaths.  He attempted to sit up, but he was feeling every bit his (un)natural age.  He was a mere 42 years old, but the accelerated aging programmed into his Clone DNA had caused his body to break down so much faster than it should.

“Rex, we haven’t been at war for a few years, and I haven’t been your Commander for even longer.”  Ahsoka kneeled beside his bed on the floor, taking his hand in hers.  “How are you feeling today?”  She asked, but she already knew.  Reaching out through the Force, she knew these would be the last hours she’d have with her oldest friend, and that he was in pain.  Like always, he didn’t show it.

“Old habit…Ahsoka…” Rex coughed, his attempts at suppressing it making it worse.

Ahsoka winced.  She never let herself think that this day would come.  She locked it away like so many other memories and emotions, and had convinced herself that Rex would go on forever, that he’d be there with her til the end.  

Now there were so few people left who could share in their memories of the Clone Wars and the hard-won and hard-lost battles that were fought.  When he was gone, who else could she turn to to laugh about the good times, and the fun they had between battles. Who would be left to ease the pain when thoughts about their fallen brothers clutched at the edges of her mind, and the guilt was too much to bare?

Rex’s other hand came up to her face and smoothed away the tears forming at the edges of her eyes.  “Ahsoka it’s going to be ok, I’ll always be with you, you know that better than anyone.”

She tried so hard to smile through her grief, she wanted to be strong for him this one last time.  They sat in silence for a few minutes, each not really sure what to say to comfort the other, and each knowing that sometimes just being present was enough.

Rex broke the silence: “Cody once said, in war, sometimes it’s harder to be the one that survives.” Ahsoka cocked her head, unsure where he might be going with it, and afraid she couldn’t handle it.  

“I think about that a lot.  He was so very right, and I never got a chance to tell him, to thank him for attempting to ease the burden, to understand.  It just wasn’t something that we felt we were allowed to discuss with each other.  We were bred for war and pain, but we never felt it was ok to acknowledge it to each other…the pain, I mean.  I…I want to thank you for allowing me to burden you with so much of mine.  You were a kid, and you had the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders, and still you let me talk through it all and grieve every lost brother, every moment of regret and hesitation.  You saw me as a person, not a number…”

He paused again, collecting his thoughts.  “I guess…” he sighed.  “I regret that I never told Cody, and I don’t want to go without telling you…thank you for everything, Ahsoka.”  

Squeezing her hand, and looking into her eyes, he hoped his words didn’t sound like the crazy ramblings of a dying man.  Ahsoka would miss those eyes, now clouded and blurry with age, no hint of the shining amber she knew so well.

“Oh Rex,” she bowed her head with the weight of it. “Thank you for your kind words. I’ll carry them with me…always.”  The room was fading from soft yellows, to the oranges and reds of the setting sun.  Her mind slipped back to old memories, of the times post-battle when the small group of brothers, their little sister in tow, would slip away to watch the sunset on whatever world they happened to inhabit.  She wondered…”Rex, are you able to move?”

He arched an eyebrow, wanting to say yes, but unsure.  “What are you thinking?”

“I just thought, it might be nice to watch the sunset…like old times.”

“Yes, I think I have a little pep left in me.  Can you…?”  Ahsoka wrapped her arms under his shoulders and helped him to his feet.  He felt so frail and light, a shell of the soldier he used to be.  She helped him lean against the wall as she gathered blankets and pillows.  Together they moved slowly to the grassy hill outside the cabin.  

Outside, they arranged themselves like they would all those years ago, Ahsoka lay her head in the crook of his neck, Rex holding her hand across his heart, as they watched the sky darken.  They could feel the shadows of their fallen brothers surrounding them, holding them close.

“I love you, you know?  You’re the only family I have left, and I’m not ready for this,” she could feel the tears forming again.  She had been alone so much of her life, but she always knew he was out there somewhere.  It was only now dawning on her how much she relied on that solace.

“If I could stay, you know I would, ad’ika.  We knew this day would come, and I’m so grateful you’re here with me,” he sighed, his breathing feeling more shallow with each passing moment. “You’re not alone, cyare. Not really.”  He searched for the right words, anything to distract her from her sadness. “Remember how you use to tell us those old Jedi stories?”  He paused hoping this would work. “Could you tell me one again?”

Ahsoka couldn’t help but laugh at the absurd simplicity of his request.  “You sure that’s what you want right now?

“Of course, you’ve got a knack for it, and I could certainly use the distraction.”  

“Ok, if you insist,” she searched her memory, it had been a lifetime since she last thought about those stories, but she had to try.  Clearing her throat, “It was a long time ago…”

The next few hours were spent telling stories, laughing, crying and sharing truths that had gone too long unspoken, saying their goodbyes.  As the sun peaked over the distant horizon Ahsoka yawned and pushed herself up from the ground.  She stretched and smiled, feeling the sun warming away the nighttime dew.

“It’s going to be another beautiful day, Rex,” her back twinged, reminding her of her own years.  “Sorry I didn’t mean to keep us outside for so long, you must be sore.”  She turned and kneeled to help her friend up and back into his house.  Her hands flew to her mouth, a poor attempt to suppress the sob in her throat.  

Rex lay perfectly still, his eyes closed, a meager smile graced his lips.  Ahsoka gently nudged his shoulder,

“Rex?,” she squeaked out. “Oh no, oh please no!”  Her fingers grasped desperately at his shirt, the blanket, anything in an attempt to prevent her from flying out of her skin. “It’s ok, everything is fine. We’ll…we’ll just get you back into the cabin and…”

She steadied her breathing, attempting to refocus her energies and bring herself a sense of calm she so desperately needed.  Never before had she been so grateful for her meditative training.  Gently she picked up Rex’s cold hand, the one she had been holding most of the night, and brought it to her lips for one final kiss goodbye. She set about crossing it over his other hand and covering him with the blanket, murmuring somber meditations to herself.

Ahsoka found a quiet spot beneath a tree that overlooked the valley, a spot she knew he would like. As she worked, she hummed a song Rex would sing to himself as the 501st marched through uncertain terrain.  She wondered if he knew how much that song calmed both herself and their brothers in those dark hours.  

When her task was done she stood, eyes lowered, a sad smile crossing her face:

“Until we meet again, my dear friend,” she saluted. “May the Force be with you, always.”

Ahsoka’s gentle sobs were all that echoed over the grassy valley outside the small cabin on the forested world. It was going to be a beautiful day.

[vedj-f-bekuesu]

2019 in Retrospect

2019 has been fairly quiet, so I decided to start off this year by looking back on it. I’ll be dividing it by main fandoms/characters/ships because this year there were actually some new ones. That hasn’t been the case since, like, 2013. 

Sonic the Hedgehog

It was an...alright year for Sonic. TSR was fine but too light on content, Mario and Sonic Tokyo felt like a step down from Mario and Sonic Rio but was still alright, and I have not played SEGA Heroes (and haven’t bothered with the Chao in Space short). Lowest spot for me was the IDW comic; the Zombot arc has had one interesting story so far, but the rest has had either bad writing (primarily aimed at Shadow’s turn) or it’s just been wallowing in its bleakness in a way even Shadow the Game didn’t. Then again, I find zombie stories uninteresting to begin with, so no duh I’m not interested in a Sonic take on it. 

Chaotix kind of mirror that. Vector’s managed to get a good showing in, batting 3 for 3 on the game front, and having a key role in two of them. And like I said before, the Chaotix have genuinely had the most interesting stories within the Zombot arc, although with Vector and Charmy turned this may become more limited. Speaking of though, Espio and Charmy have had weaker presences. Espio managed to get into all three games in some form but to a lesser extent (one just by name), and Charmy was really left behind. 

As for Vecpio, it’s been pretty bare for canon material stuff. Espio got mentioned in TSR as contributing the report that reveals Dodon Pa’s true role (with him and Vector being the key to making everyone shut up about him being suspicious, proving they’re best as a team). And Mario and Sonic Tokyo has something if you headcanon some stuff; when Vector talks about the medals, Espio is the first person you’re directed to. Nothing is said by Vector about Espio in text, but you can implicate that Espio was chosen first because of his strong link to Vector, being the first one Vector would trust to compete at a gold level. Other than that? Dry. And with no announcements for Sonic games in 2020, this may just continue. 

Crash Bandicoot

On the reverse side, we have Crash Bandicoot having a really strong year. CTR:NF came out (which is a remake of my favourite Crash game) and has been doing gangbusters. On top of this, it has been going out of its way to revive pretty much every dead character in the franchise, to the point that we have RIlla Roo back in the fold (something I genuinely didn’t think would happen 19 years beforehand). 

Skipping straight to the shipping for this, I wouldn’t have imagined it for Crash ever, but there’s actually some in-game material for me to latch onto for DingodileXKomodo Joe! Dingodile has been pushed into a more jovial character since N-Sane Trilogy, being even more doubled down on in CTR:NF. However, for the past 20 years Komodo Joe has managed to avoid being given traits closer to Espio. This game finally catches up to him, and does it hard. Seriously, his character took a hard turn for the stoic badass Espio did after Heroes, and when did Joe ever use Martial Arts magic ever? Aside from making that dynamic naturally more matching, Slide Coliseum joins in the fun with the visual upgrade. It has holographic projections of a trophy girl repping a couple of racers dancing each, and guess who the devs felt could be paired up for how they go together rhythmically? That’s right, my reptile boys. Man. 

Super Mario Bros

What a weak year for Mario for me. What Mario got for new games this year were Luigi’s Mansion 3 (which I’ve not played), Mario Maker 2 (which isn’t new story content and doesn’t interest me in the slightest), Yoshi’s Crafted World (which I forgot was a thing) and Mario Kart Tour/Dr Mario World (which...um). 

Because of this set-up, Bowser hardly got anything to do so he’s really been on the backburner. Considering how he’s been pushed in the rest of the decade that’s saying something. In fact, the most character stuff he got was in Mario and Sonic Tokyo, and even that was mostly just alright (I think Bowser Jr got the best deal out of that).

Spyro the Dragon

Spyro was alright, but this one’s more understandable. With 2018 being the big year for Spyro’s return, 2019 was a rest for the little guy. That being said it wasn’t completely quiet; Spyro Reignited Trilogy finally got its port on the Switch, and to tie in with that Spyro got an appearance in CTR:NF. 

Because of the latter point, Gnasty Gnorc got a surprisingly strong year. Not only having more people learn about his glow-up in SRT, but bringing over that petty and angry character to CTR:NF. Seriously, his bit in the grand prix intro video is great, and he has more lines in his racing quips than any other game. 

OK KO

I don’t think I made a post about OK KO on Tumblr (or maybe I did one, I can’t remember). But I did manage to get into this just before it got cancelled so there’s that. 

I maintain that the Sonic crossover (aka the first thing I really knew about OK KO) didn’t give me a good impression of the show.It just seemed like “here’s the Sonic and Eggman dynamic but with more cartoon shenanigans*” and it spent more time making endless Sonic references. While some were deeper cuts which actually were impressive, most were references I could see in pretty much any Sonic-referencing material. It wasn’t until I decided to look up more info on Lord Boxman sometime after because I wanted to check if N.Gin was an influence that I found out the plot of the actual show (crossover notwithstanding) was pretty nuts and way more up my alley. 

Speaking of, there’s Voxman. Whereas other ships on here I have to dig through material to construct nuggets from them, this was literally in the text. And why not, they have a good dynamic and are usually the most fun to watch bounce off each other. And I still like the fact that if KO and Lord Boxman were the Sonic and Eggman parallel, the story ends with Eggman becoming Sonic’s stepfather. Let’s see IDW tell a story like that, it’d be better than the Zombot stuff. 

*I think that was the point but still. 

LEGO

Man I wouldn’t have thought they would have remade LEGO Racers but the one they made this year was gre--

Okay no, this year basically reignited another flame that I thought was snuffed out like 16 years ago. For a brief history of me and LEGO, when I was six I had a freestyle box which I used to make an elemental superhero persona. I played with this until I was 11. Before then, my sister got some LEGO Harry Potter sets (which we still have in the loft), I played LEGO Racers a lot (and wasn’t very good at it), and I owned two random other LEGO sets (the trike from Life on Mars and Lava from RoboRIders). 

After that, I only dabbled in LEGO when there was a Sonic set done for LEGO Dimensions. I did try to play more into it, but it was really prone to crashing in certain worlds so I eventually got frustrated enough to stop playing it. Sometime in the interim though my sister started enjoying LEGO films without me knowing, so when February came around I was dragged to see LEGO Movie 2 when all I wanted to see in 2019 was Toy Story 4. Dad insisted on it since we rarely have family outings. In retrospect; 

LEGO Movie 2 hit me in a way a piece of media hasn’t for years, or even decades. It’s shot up to be my third-favourite film of all time. And it’s revealed to me that LEGO is shockingly good at making endearing characters. So much so that breaking it down (pun not intended) has to be done by theme.

LEGO Movie: Part of the reason why I didn’t get into LEGO earlier was because I did see LEGO Movie back in 2014 when my sister was given it on DVD (she wasn’t into LEGO then) and I wasn’t impressed with it. In retrospect, I can appreciate what it did more, and I bring it up because it’s what makes Unikitty, Benny and Metalbeard so endearing when combined with what happened in TLM2. Lucy’s okay (moreso in the sequel), Emmet’s cute, President Business is fun but the MVP is definitely Rex Dangervest, who’s this feral monster but with Emmet buried away deep inside ready to flesh him out. When I make LEGO stories, I just have Rex change his mind on rescuing himself after getting the dinosaurs, and instead wreaking havoc in the present. This kills Emmet off in any story I do but it’s a worthy sacrifice. 

LEGO City Undercover: As a video game person I’m kicking myself for not getting into this before. Frank Honey is the best; he’s adorable and weird yet still feeling very much human and basically the Emmet of his city. Rex Fury has grown on me lots since my initial assessment of him,it’s infectious how much fun he has with being a criminal (while Vinnie is more fun when not doing criminal stuff and Chan seems to be more focused on doing criminal stuff as a job. I also think his calmer side is criminally (no pun intended again) overlooked). Also Ellie is underrated, she is the best straight man you could ask for. 

LEGO City Adventures: As I’ve said before, pretty much everyone in LCA is adorable, especially Duke and Harl. Still hoping for more Daisy time in the second season, she could be a riot if played properly and not just a Fendrich stooge. 

Ninjago: Coming in with the hot take here; I prefer the movie version of Ninjago to the series. I think the problem with the series is that it has so much baggage from before the series started to iron out some of its issues and cliches that it’s kinda hard to get into as a new person, whereas movie Ninjago is a lot more approachable and written better off the bat (although I do see why it wouldn’t go down well with existing Ninjago fans). This all just makes me think of that moment in series 11 where Nya sees her worst fear of being normal in an artefact and it shows her movie self, almost as a take that. It just makes me think the show writers are salty about movie Nya kicking show Nya’s ass in being a better character. Also shout outs to Kai, Cole, Zane and Lloyd for being great characters as well (Jay is cute in the movie, his show self can be punted off a cliff for all I care). And I am with the movement to have Cole come out as gay (or at least bi if they want to keep Tournament of Elements I guess). 

Nexo Knights: This show is regarded as another Ninjago wannabe, but it feels very different to Ninjago to me. So much so, there’s not a single one of the heroes I don’t like and they all need to be cherished. Macy gets props for being the best female character to me, Aaron is probably my favourite now and this is a house of Clance for future reference. 

So, with all that being said, what do I think of the prospects for 2020? I think it’s going to be quieter than 2019 to be honest, since there’s a lot winding down, and on the game side there’s been zero announcements. Crash and Spyro having a rest is understandable, Sonic’s going to have to get past the movie before gearing up for 2021 probably (for the record I have no interest in the movie) and Mario just needs to try harder. And with OK KO dead, only LCA is holding the fort for guaranteed new content I want to engage in right now. 

You know what would be fun though? Series 20 of the minifigures theme is due at the end of this year. Wouldn’t it be awesome to use the occasion to give some phsical minifigures to characters who never got them before? LIke, Rex Fury somehow still has enough demand to be a persistent feature in the customs market, give him an official figure (especially since he’s the only character from LCU that’s not Chase that’s even appeared in merch outside the game). Or let Sky Lane get her LEGO Universe look in physical form to go with her LIXS look. Or heck, finally give Rocket Racer his original look, that’s how I discovered the minifigure world in the first place!

[gffa]

It’s Wednesday, which means it’s Crying About STAR WARS Time and I love that apparently it’s a never-ending font of things to cry about in the GFFA. But, hey, at least sometimes it’s crying in a good way? So, here, come cry some more with me about these space monks with their laser swords. STAR WARS FIC RECS: ✦ House of Cards by Smitty, obi-wan & anakin & oc, 23.8k    Just when Obi-Wan thinks he has life figured out, a shadowy bounty hunter proves him wrong. ✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & qui-gon & mace & rex & cast, 31.2k wip    The Daughter has a bad day and it irrevocably changes the fate of the galaxy, twice over. Or; ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels. ✦ Obikin Ficlet: Exotic Dancer AU by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, imperial!obi-wan, 1k    Prompt: “Exotic dancer!Anakin giving a private dance to sith lord!imperial general!Obi-Wan and they haven’t seen each other in 6 months. They missed each other and Obi-Wan just wants to touch Anakin but Anakin won’t let him.” ✦ Clarity by anecdotalist, obi-wan/anakin & anakin/padme & ahsoka & cast,    Anakin’s jealousy leads to the start of something new between him and Obi-Wan and a lot of frank discussions about things they should have talked about but didn’t in canon. ✦ Do Not Go Gentle by Glare, obi-wan/anakin, a/b/o, 4.8k wip    Anakin Skywalker is only six months into his Jedi training when he goes missing on a mission, bringing his Master’s life crashing down. ✦ untitled by gaealynn, obi-wan/anakin, mild bondage, 1.9k    I propose – an Obi-Wan who indulges one of Anakin’s tantrums and is startled to find that he, ah, doesn’t quite mind letting Anakin tie him up and dote on him; and an Anakin who is over the moon at being allowed to do so. ✦ Choices by writegowrite, obi-wan & krell, sith!obi-wan, ~1k    The path to the dark was easier than Obi-Wan had ever thought it could be. ✦ Reunion by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, ~1k    It has been nine minutes since Darth Vader arrived on the Rebel reconnaissance ship. ✦ Lights Will Guide You Home by darlingargents, obi-wan/padme & potential obi-wan/anakin/padme & luke/ezra & leia & ahsoka & cast, 27.3k wip    Obi-Wan knew that if he didn’t leave now, Padmé would die. And so he made his decision. ✦ untitled by silvergryphon, leia & mace, 1.7k    Everyone expected Leia to follow in her mother’s footsteps. ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, padme & background anakin/padme, 1.2k    Padmé stares at the clock on her bedside table. She knows it’s time to get up and get ready to face the day, but she… She doesn’t want to. ✦ untitled by lurkingcrow, obi-wan & luke, 1.2k    Obi-Wan braces against the bulkhead as yet another refugee pushes past him, attention focused upon the growing food line rather than the bedraggled figure hunched over his precious cargo. ✦ untitled by fireflyfish, obi-wan/anakin & cast, pirate!obi-wan, 1.9k    All things considered, Darth Vader was taking the news of growing pirate fleet surprisingly well, thought Lieutenant Piett as he followed after the towering, black-suited menace. full details + recs under the cut!

✦ House of Cards by Smitty, obi-wan & anakin & oc, 23.8k    Just when Obi-Wan thinks he has life figured out, a shadowy bounty hunter proves him wrong.    It would probably help to have read “The House That Obi-Wan Built” and “Sofa, So Good” before this one, but it’s not absolutely necessary and all you really need to know is that Obi-Wan has decided to train Anakin on Malastare instead of on Coruscant and, of course, shenangigans happen along the way. My one caveat about this fic is that it spends more time on the OC than I could really quite get into, so I wound up feeling a bit distracted during those parts, but the Obi-Wan and Anakin stuff is just as delightful as the other fics in this series. I really love this author’s take on both of them, especially that there’s a sense of sharp fun to the both of them, there’s a weight to both characters that strikes me as true, that this can be a warm-hearted fic, but I wouldn’t really call it fluffy, either. Especially in the interaction between Obi-Wan and Anakin, you can tell the author loves both of them and there’s this great exchange that had me cackling: “I have some errands to do. I want you to work on that patience exercise I taught you yesterday.” “All morning?” “No, Anakin. Your line is, ‘Yes, Master. Your every wish is my command. I live only to serve.’ No, go medidtate.” because, oh my god, that’s it, that’s them, it’s hilarious and perfect. For all that this was apparently posted in 1999, it really holds up as a great sense of who these characters are and how they’d interact! ✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & qui-gon & mace & rex & cast, 31.2k wip    The Daughter has a bad day and it irrevocably changes the fate of the galaxy, twice over. Or; ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels.    I am so glad I stumbled over this fic and got caught up in it because it really was a whole lot of fun! I do have the caveat that it’s rough around the edges and takes a chapter or two to get going, but once I was in the thick of things, I was absolutely engrossed in it and the heart of the fic is on the Obi-Wan & Anakin relationship and it is absolutely so satisfying with that. Swapping places with their older/younger selves leads to some important discussions for ROTS!Obi-Wan&Anakin, which, let me tell you, I was glued to my reader during that conversation because it was just exactly what my heart wanted from it! But also, TPM!Obi-Wan&Anakin in the future, stumbling over everything going to hell as it does during ROTS, and how they’re thrown into this mixed up world and start to bond and obviously complement each other right from the start, was also deeply satisfying. It’s a fic that’s also about their relationships with other people, but it’s very much revolved around these two characters and their relationship, which is what I picked this fic up hoping for and got something that I really got hooked on and would absolutely read another 100k of this. It’s good-hearted and clearly loves them both, loves everyone in this world (except for Palpatine, but fuck that guy) and, though the shit they go through is difficult and painful, I feel like this is a story about hope, even in the most dire circumstances, I feel like it’s a story about giving the characters the room to set things right. And that sense of how the people they meet are so good–it was so much fun to see Mace being kind, so much fun to see Rex being kind, so much fun to see Padme being kind, so much fun to see Qui-Gon being kind–in addition to Obi-Wan and Anakin having space to work shit out, ahhhh, that’s so very, very much my jam. ✦ Obikin Ficlet: Exotic Dancer AU by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, imperial!obi-wan, 1k    Prompt: “Exotic dancer!Anakin giving a private dance to sith lord!imperial general!Obi-Wan and they haven’t seen each other in 6 months. They missed each other and Obi-Wan just wants to touch Anakin but Anakin won’t let him.”    Oh, this didn’t have to be long to have entirely caught my attention! It had some absolutely lovely imagery here, which isn’t always easy with dancer!AU fics, but this one really worked, it brought to mind so many echoes of canon, so many moments where I could so easily see the Anakin I know in the way he moved, in the way acted/reacted towards Obi-Wan. And the tension between the two characters was absolutely delicious, they never even had to touch for me to be practically on the edge of my seat! Give me a beautiful image and a compelling AU scenario and I’m totally gone, which this one did so well. ✦ Clarity by anecdotalist, obi-wan/anakin & anakin/padme & ahsoka & cast,    Anakin’s jealousy leads to the start of something new between him and Obi-Wan and a lot of frank discussions about things they should have talked about but didn’t in canon.    Chapters 14-15: This is an update rec and will focus on these chapters, rather than the fic as a whole. When SW fandom gets busy or when I run into a streak of fics I haven’t come across before, sometimes others that I’m keeping up with get pushed down on my reader and it takes me time to get back to them just because of the way I read. And this one came up for me again recently and I just slid right back into it, where we’re in the thick of things at this point–one of the things I so enjoyed about the fic up to this point is that, even when shit was happening, it felt like there was breathing room for the relationships, both Obikin and Anidala, so I feel like there’s a good base to build on, when the shit hits the fan, as it’s been doing in these chapters. Order 66 has come and that means plot-related things! And it’s really interesting to see how things change because Obi-Wan and Anakin are in different places in their lives, just different enough that things go a little differently. And, who knows, maybe that means not much will change or maybe it’ll mean everything will change, but the point is in the journey there. I’m especially enjoying Bant’s addition to the story–for all that I’m glad the JA books have been contradicted and de-canonized, she’s one of the things I would love to see rescued from them and she’s lovely in this story, this is part of why I love her character so much, that she can provide such heart as she does here. And I also love that, for all that he’s turned a bit more towards a more stable path, Anakin is still absolutely a mess and still absolutely emotionally unstable and in real danger of falling or doing terrible things. And that makes the journey he goees through so much more satisfying for me! And I enjoyed the struggle to understand what’s happening to the clones! And, oh, there’s a conversation between Obi-Wan and Padme in chapter 15–an argument, really–that is so good for me, because so many people overlook that the Jedi were dying in that war, they were overburdened and the Senate was corrupt and they may not have been perfect, but they certainly laid down their lives to try to save people and the Senate did not. And Padme, with all her passion and compassion, cares so deeply and sometimes gets swept away and she’s all the better a person for recognizing that sometimes. Neither of them is the enemy here and I’d have read this fic just for that lovely conversation alone, never mind all the other good plot stuff happening and the ships! But that I get all of it is wonderful. ✦ Do Not Go Gentle by Glare, obi-wan/anakin, a/b/o, 4.8k wip    Anakin Skywalker is only six months into his Jedi training when he goes missing on a mission, bringing his Master’s life crashing down. Unable to recover from the loss, Alpha Obi-Wan Kenobi grieves his Padawan’s uncertain fate, unaware that his life would once again be turned on end with the arrival of an Omega Sith Lord to the Temple ten years later.    This fic had me at a/b/o dynamics, which I’m weak to! But then it hooked me with the actual story, with alpha!Obi-Wan having lost omega!Anakin as a Padawan, never knowing where he went or who took him and while that first chapter is intriguing and engaging, it was the reunion in chapter two that really got me. I’m a sucker for a good epic reunion kind of scene and this one gave me everything I was looking for, the fighting and the use of alpha/omega dynamics and the hints at past terrible things that happened and an unbreakable bond that still exists between the two of them, even more about the emotional side than any physical side that might still be there. It’s one of those iddy fics that’s well-written and those tend to be my favorites, the ones I look forward to most and will just flail over the most and think about the most. The reunion here was so satisfying that, even if you’re usually on the fence about WIPs, I’d still recommend this one because it has a lot of the good stuff already. And I am super eager to see where this goes! ✦ untitled by gaealynn, obi-wan/anakin, mild bondage, 1.9k    I propose – an Obi-Wan who indulges one of Anakin’s tantrums and is startled to find that he, ah, doesn’t quite mind letting Anakin tie him up and dote on him; and an Anakin who is over the moon at being allowed to do so.    Oh, this was actually really warm-hearted and kind of fluffy! I love that it’s very much about Anakin not being a reliable narrator and being kind of an emotional mess and losing his shit when he worries about Obi-Wan, so Obi-Wan has to find a way to indulge Anakin after a tantrum and that winds up with letting Anakin literally tie him down and feed him and watch over him while he sleeps and the whole thing. I love it because Anakin is such a mess about it and so very, very needy and really does need Obi-Wan’s attention and indulgeance and it just was really surprisingly sweet for a bondage fic! I enjoyed it a lot. ✦ Choices by writegowrite, obi-wan & krell, sith!obi-wan, ~1k    The path to the dark was easier than Obi-Wan had ever thought it could be.    This is a short piece, just a bit over 600 words, but it’s a lovely one about a moment that changes everything, where Obi-Wan has two paths laid out in front of him, one to the light and one to the dark, just a single decision that has consequences either way, and will eventually lead him into the dark. It’s a lovely look that continues the themes of The Clone Wars–that there are no truly easy choices in war, that sometimes there aren’t good options, and that sometimes sacrificing a bit of yourself is what will save more people, and yet you can’t know if that was the right choice. But it’s the id-pleasing choice and this was very, very nicely done! ✦ Reunion by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, ~1k    It has been nine minutes since Darth Vader arrived on the Rebel reconnaissance ship.    I don’t know how I missed this one before, but it’s a lovely and heartbreaking look at how the reunion between Obi-Wan and Anakin might have done in a different world, how some things change and some things still echo canon. It’s not a happy fic, but it’s beautifully written and has a lot of emotional weight to it and was a really, really great read. ✦ Lights Will Guide You Home by darlingargents, obi-wan/padme & potential obi-wan/anakin/padme & luke/ezra & leia & ahsoka & cast, 27.3k wip    Obi-Wan knew that if he didn’t leave now, Padmé would die. And so he made his decision.    Chapters 4-5: This is an update rec and will focus on these chapters, rather than the fic as a whole. I’m still in love with this fic, where Obi-Wan and Padme try to piece their lives back together after Anakin’s fall, as well as fight back against this Empire and whatever it is that Anakin has become. And this is a truly monstrous, fallen Anakin (though, we’ve only seen him through others’ povs so far), especially in the scene he has with Padme, which is awful and terrible and it hurts me, but I can’t say it’s against Anakin’s character, even as I still love him and want redemption for him, want him to work towards that again someday. And also Obi-Wan and the twins meeting the Ghost crew! It’s a good balance between plot and characters/relationships, not a ton happened in these two chapters that I can specifically point to, but that made them no less engaging and this fic no less one that I’m always looking forward to when it updates. It’s a great read and if you like Padme Lives fic, it’s definitely worth picking up! ✦ untitled by silvergryphon, leia & mace, 1.7k    Everyone expected Leia to follow in her mother’s footsteps.    This is part of a larger AU, but I don’t think you really need context beyond that it’s a happier AU where Luke and Leia are being raised by their parents and the Jedi are still around. (Though, the quoted reblogs will fill you in, too!) What I fell in love with on this piece was, oh, both Leia and Mace were perfect. There was such weight to both of them, tiny little Leia with her anger about injustice and the sheer weight of Mace’s character, even as he was quiet and serene as he talked with her. You could feel the anger in both of them, but good anger and the short conversation they had was pitch perfect and so lovely and everything I want for both of them. I was in love with every inch of this one! ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, padme & background anakin/padme, 1.2k    Padmé stares at the clock on her bedside table. She knows it’s time to get up and get ready to face the day, but she… She doesn’t want to.    I really enjoyed this look at Padme’s character, in the Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan verse, where she clearly loves Anakin very much, but takes a really long, hard look at their marriage and that not everything about it is perfect. It’s not a fic that’s down on the relationship, I don’t think, but instead about exploring the cracks in the foundation that are there because that’s what makes them all the more interesting and I loved how flawed they both were and how that makes me love Padme all the more for her pov in this fic. It’s lovely and gentle and a good look at her character! ✦ untitled by lurkingcrow, obi-wan & luke, 1.2k    Obi-Wan braces against the bulkhead as yet another refugee pushes past him, attention focused upon the growing food line rather than the bedraggled figure hunched over his precious cargo.    This is another fic that came about via several tumblr conversations and, oh, it’s such a heartbreaking and yet lovely look at the transport Obi-Wan takes to Tatooine with Anakin’s child in his arms. The vast ocean of heartbreak that’s underneath every moment of this, even as he tries to be comforting to baby Luke, is just very well done and so, so nice to imagine Ewan McGregor’s singing in. ✦ untitled by fireflyfish, obi-wan/anakin & cast, pirate!obi-wan, 1.9k    All things considered, Darth Vader was taking the news of growing pirate fleet surprisingly well, thought Lieutenant Piett as he followed after the towering, black-suited menace.    Oh, this was totally silly and cracky and just pure fun. Set in the Accidental Pirate!Obi-Wan AU, this was all about the sheer amount of charm Obi-Wan has and how Darth Vader is hardly immune to it, even when they’re totally enemies now, for real, you guys. It’s light-hearted the entire way through, including the evenutal reunion, it’s a spoof and it’s hilarious! It’s one of those fics that’s based on the headcanons/tossed out scenarios that go around, the ones that aren’t meant to be taken super seriously, and yet still manages to be an entirely engaging, readable fic for it! It was just pure joy to read.

[weasley-detectives]

Brave and Merida in a Trumped up world

It's a little surprising to me that the Disney fandom went absolutely apeshit over the "Disneyfication" of Merida in their merchandise - something Brenda Chapman even spoke out against, calling it a cheap ploy to sell merchandise - yet there hasn't been any commentary on other Brave spin-offs.

Merida's a Disney/Pixar heroine who, in Chapman’s own words, was created to be a different kind of Princess. Now, I don’t think it makes me a good feminist to sit here and pit Disney Princess against Disney Princess; I think popular perception of the “Disney Princess” is a different beast altogether when compared with the actual source material, which has both positive and negative aspects. But when it comes to Merida the writers intentionally set out from the start to try something new. She has a fuller, rounded figure, a nuanced relationship with her mother, and romance plays no part in her story. You could argue there’s evidence of a romantic interest, but that’s not the same thing as a romantic subplot, and it’s not overt enough that you can say with any certainty. The writers admit the original idea was to have Merida walk off into the sunset with Young MacGuffin, the suitor who briefly catches her attention early in the film, but that epilogue thankfully only exists in the artbook and deleted scenes.

And let me be clear, there's nothing wrong with Merida having a romantic interest. In fact, I came to love that Merida is subtly shown to be a little interested in Young MacGuffin. 

I was watching Mulan the other night with a @pale-silver-comb​ (who is 100% responsible for my newfound love of Disney- well, that and the fact I need bright happy escapist animation as the rest of my time is spent neck deep in miserable politics). We were cackling over the scene where Mulan ogles a shirtless Shang and later wound up ranting over how rare it is to see women checking out guys in films. When women do make their attraction known, they tend to run the risk of being framed or labelled as shameless, or worse, sluts. On the flipside, how often do we see guys ogling girls in media? Yeah, exactly. It's a shitty myth that women don't own their sexuality in the same ways men do. That's one of the things I love about Mulan and Merida as heroines - they're not "strong female characters" (god I hate that term, can we please kill it?) just because they kick large hairy man arse. They're great characters because they are so relatable. They're funny, they're giant dorks, they stuff their gobs, they check guys out, they can be crass, proud, and make mistakes. These are all things women do, but aren't shown to do nearly as often as men are in mainstream media.

I’m glad the Brave epilogue with Merida and Young MacGuffin didn't make the final cut, because the story wasn't about Merida finding romance - it was about Merida's relationship with her mother, and the two of them confronting their pride, opening their minds to new ways of thinking, and admitting their mistakes. The epilogue had no place in Brave’s narrative. To have included it would have harmed the message of the story by adding romance for the sake of romance, rather than for any narrative purpose. But at the same time I don't want to downplay Merida showing even a subtle interest because yay women owning their own sexuality. One of the things that has driven me crazy since I was a kid myself is the patronising infantilization of girls. A crush is normal, you can pretty much get them at any age, it does not mean you’re not enjoying your childhood to the fullest. Fuck that noise. I had massive crushes from the age of 4 and still managed to climb trees, get into fights and battle Captain Hook and Shredder on my T-Rex with imaginary best friend Gollum at my side (what? fuck you we had a bond). That Merida might have had a bit of a crush on Young MacGuffin reinforces for me the fact she’s a character who doesn't want to get married because she doesn’t bloody want to, not because the suitors are conveniently horrible people she vehemently dislikes. I actually find that even more inspiring. So yes, Brave is a great film with a pretty amazing heroine.

Which is why it pisses me off when spin-off writers take something so progressive and shaft it.

This isn't a ship shaming post at all - fandom is a ship & let ship space, ship Merida with her bow for all I care, it's all good. This critique is aimed at crappy spin-offs and I’m taking Once Upon a Time as an example. Now, OUAT isn’t all bad. Sometimes it takes Disney canon and transforms it into something really interesting, progressive and original. Or, well, it used to. Recent seasons not so much. The actress who plays Merida is the only good thing about OUAT's Brave arc. The rest is unbearably lazy (HA! pun.) writing. The gravest injustice has to be King Fergus, who looks like he's wearing a wig knitted from a highland cow's pubes.

Don't get me started on his accent. I’m scottish. No Scotsman sounds like that. Not unless they’re squeedging out an enormous post-curry-hangover shit. I love Fergus, but honestly I was relieved OUAT!Fergus was bumped off before my ears could go on strike.

The suitors are also sexist pigs. Dingwall and MacGuffin don't even say anything, they just play the lazy mindless followers/minions to MacIntosh who’s probably the most unlikeable aspect of the arc. Really says something about OUAT when the original animation, aimed at a younger audience, portrays its characters as more nuanced. In Brave, Young MacIntosh is all bluff- he’s a show off, a sore loser and generally a bit of a prick, but there are also glimpses of genuine empathy. He's also the suitor Merida is openly put off by in the film. So yeah, in Brave, Young MacIntosh is a bit of a lanky fucktrumpet, but he's not anywhere close to being the scabby sexist cockwomble he is in OUAT. This would be fine if it had some sort of clever narrative purpose, but who am I kidding, it’s OUAT. OUAT!MacIntosh is a proper dickhead and there’s no reason for Merida to like any of the suitors, because unlike in Brave, they’re all fucking assholes. And yet the OUAT arc still ends with Merida giving him the smitten googley eyes. Because romance or something. cool.

Another Brave novelisation published by Disney Random House ends with Merida confirming to the reader that yes, she did eventually marry. Well thank fuck for that! My frail girlish heart couldn't possibly entertain the idea of Merida never marrying. Thank you book, you've reassured conservative parents everywhere.

In addition to that bollocks is.. probably one of the worst offenders. I recently picked up a couple of the Merida chapter books by Sudipta Bardham-Quallen, again published by Disney Random House. They're for wee kids, but I wanted to see more of @gurihiru​​ 's lovely art which I’m fully smitten with. The writing isn’t great, but the stories involve challenging enough themes for very young readers. To the author's credit there's a bit of an effort made to retain a Scottish feel to them and there’s a nice focus on female friendships as Merida encounters new characters. It’s a bit cutesy-poo BFFs!!, the kind of thing I hated as a kid, but hey, we need more female friendship stories. The new characters are even quite likeable, so thumbs up there.

Then I picked up the second book, The Fire Falls (also written by Sudipta Bardham-Quallen), and cringed. Basically bad Merida and Young MacIntosh fanfic involving some classic tropes like: 'I'm not jealous, I’m just better than all those shameless slags flirting with him' and 'arg he's such an asshole but i'm inexplicably attracted to him though there's nothing to show in the story why I should be!' and my favourite - ‘He’s a bad guy but I can change him!’

Here's my main issue: why is it when a female character shows or says she’s not interested in a guy's advances this all too often becomes a springboard for their romance? Why do these stories have such an obsession with positioning the sexist hyper-masculine asshole as the romantic lead? (I'm sure that couldn’t have any dire implications for the worl-oh fuck). And in Brave's case, when the source material and original epilogue show Merida taking an interest in the big fat guy, why don’t any of the spin-offs build on that? Young MacGuffin also happens to be the only one in the entire film to vocally stand up for Merida’s rights. That’s pretty cool! So why don’t spin-offs celebrate that? The cynic in me says we all know the answer - much like Merida had to be “sexed up” to sell Disney merchandise, the fat suitor had to be swapped out for the skinny. 

Really, in a film that revolves around Merida's frustration that people aren't listening to her, it sort of amazes me that these spin-offs don't realise they AREN'T LISTENING TO HER.

And yeah, obviously I know it seems really silly picking on kids books and OUAT, neither of which are ever going to win awards for great progressive writing, but considering America just elected a vile celebrity as President and populism is on the rise, maybe it’s time we all said screw that academic snobbery and paid more attention to popular media. This stuff is common, these tropes are common, and it’s consumed mostly by young kids who internalise these crappy messages.

I make a big deal of it because these coded messages have a profound effect on us as we grow. These messages tell us to ignore a girl's decision and choice: that when she says 'I'm not interested' what we hear is 'I am'; that the most "attractive" and most "masculine" guy will always be the “natural” choice; that being fat or shy or awkward are inherently negative qualities and will always be overlooked by the loud wanker distracting everyone by waving his tiny hands around.

I'm now a published historian and I plan on publishing children's books in the near future; I work part-time in a bookshop, so I talk to kids about the stories they read, the stories they want to read, and their frustrations with the stories they HAVE read, all the time; I studied child psychology as part of my degree in Social Anthropology: this is why it matters to me and why I know all too well how much these coded messages affect us. I know it from my own experiences as a half-Moroccan kid with a dead father, growing up in a classroom of white kids who all came from middle-class households with two parents. This was all brought back to me when I rediscovered some of my old journals and stories I had written for class where I portrayed myself as being blonde/white and talked as if my dad was still alive, because I desperately wanted to be *normal*. I never got to encounter a character like Merida growing up, and I wish to god I had.

Children's authors and publishing houses have an enormous responsibility to make their readers feel included and heard. They also have a responsibility to challenge toxic ideas - not reinforce them. We have to keep pushing boundaries, not limit them.