#( ready to get shit done and leave gavin in the dust )

[lnsania]

doubt incredibly obvious in the quick glance he spared the others badge -- not to mention the cowboy hat .  with what little he saw in the flash of ID ,  the man before him had no business being here or in detroit for that matter .  he stared the stranger down ,  arms firmly pressed across his chest in this brief standoff gavin found all too amusing . 

only to suddenly break the silence with a shake of his head and exasperated chuckle ,  “ if you’re a texas ranger ,  then i’m fuckin’ ... chief of police !  but hey ,  at least we both can agree you ain’t got any business at this crime scene ,  pal . ”   ( starter for @is-itself-a-deviant​ )

[yourcoffindoor]

Bulletproof Heart Pt.4

AN: YAY its finally here! Thank you so much to everyone for reading and for your patience! This is the final part of this series. enjoy <3

"Y/N?" a gentle tap on the wall outside your bunk. It was Liz. "We have an interview with Spin in like 5 minutes."

You groaned and pulled your wrinkled sheet over your face, turning away from the sound of her voice, soft and hesitant as though she were afraid the slightest noise would shatter you further.

"You guys go without me," was your muffled reply, "I've hogged the spotlight enough anyway."

" Are you sure? They'll probably be pissed the lead singer isn't there."

"Then let them be pissed."

Liz lingered in silence for a moment before deciding it was best to leave you be. It had been a couple of weeks since you'd found out about Alex's little foray into filmmaking, and a gush of old trauma had emerged new again. All the work you had put in to rebuild yourself and to forge a new life had all but crumbled away in a matter of minutes, and you isolated yourself in response.

You stopped leaving the bus because of the stares. Once rumors had gotten out that there was video footage of you doing the deed, people seemed to glance over at you before whispering insidious somethings among their companions. You didn't need to hear their conversations to know just how humiliating their words were. Things took a turn for the worse when reporters began to have the audacity to ask you about the video, probing into if you were in a relationship with Alex. It was then that you realized he had sabotaged your moment, your success, and made it all about him.

You began to miss a few shows, something you had never done before. But you just couldn't bring yourself to give a damn. Your bandmates kept their distance, realizing you needed your space; but their concern was permanently painted on their faces.

"Hey Y/N," Gavin spoke hesitantly one afternoon, "You know...Gerard's been asking about you."

The sound of his name made your heart beat quicker. You hadn't made an effort to see him since the video came out. "Oh?"

"Yeah he really wants to see you. He's worried about you...we all are."

"I'm fine." you said curtly. "I mean, tell him not to. I'm fine. I just need to be alone."

"You sure? I think some social interaction might do you some good--"

"Gavin, I want to be alone. Please."

He merely nodded before heading out the bus door, finally giving you what you asked for.

Out of respect for the fans, you managed to pick yourself for performances again, but it felt like you were merely going through the motions, your passion nearly extinguished. You became angry at yourself for feeling this way, like you were giving up on yourself and your goals. Between sadness and guilt, there was no bright side you could look to as an escape.

Then, you ran into Alex.

This was what you had really been dreading. You knew how smug he must be, knowing he must've gotten under your skin, his favorite place to be. You'd snuck out of the bus for some much needed fresh air, but you didn't need to go far before you heard your name being called.

"Y/N! wait up!" a chill shot down your spine. You didn't turn around. Instead, you began walking faster.

"Hey, hey, hold on a second--" He grasped your arm, but you pulled it back so quickly it seemed to surprise him.

"Leave me the fuck alone."

"C'mon don't be mad."

You couldn't help but laugh at the nerve of his comment. "How could I not be? I didn't even know you had filmed me. I didn't get to agree to any of this! And then you decide to make it public? And you," you said, angry tears building up to a waterfall, pushing a fist into his chest, "you are a nightmare that won't go away! Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Alex was calm-- So calm that it only angered you further. "You're thinking about this the wrong way. The publicity could be great--I mean people are already eating it up. They love us together. Honestly? I did us both a favor." He smirked, making your skin crawl. "But there's something else, Y/N. Something you should remember." He leaned forward, speaking into your ear in a low, serpentine voice, "This is what happens when you think you can go off and make something of yourself without me."

You were speechless, your stomach dropping as if it had been kicked. "You're disgusting. I'm leaving."

"Going to see your friend Gerard? Hey, ask him what he thinks of our movie for me. I'm making another one with some My Chem fans anyway." He spoke to you with your back turned, already walking away, but you could hear him smiling.

You halted in your steps, torn between slapping Alex across the face, crying, or simply walking away. After a deep breath and far more self control than you knew you possesed, you chose the latter, swiftly walking back towards your bus to isolate once more.

****

The sun was revolting.

That was the first thought when Gavin flung open the curtain that marked the border of your bunk, your own personal ecosystem that no one had dared enter for the past few weeks. He kneeled on your mattress and reached over you to open the blinds on your wall, and you winced as the sun struck your face like a laser.

"Merry Christmas, Y/N!"

"Gavin, its August."

"Well it might as well be Christmas when you hear what I have to tell you."

You groaned and rubbed your eyes. "What is it? I'm prepared to be underwhelmed."

"I didn't even need to open that window! There's that bright and sunny optimism we've come to know and love."

You hit him with a pillow. "Out with it."

"Alex got--"

"ALEX GOT KICKED OFF WARPED TOUR!" Liz shouted, bursting into your bunk from out of nowhere.

"What the hell Liz! I wanted to tell her!"

"Too slow!"she teased.

Your head was reeling. "Wait, wait, wait....what? How?"

"Don't know all the details but it definitley had to do with his...activities. Turns out he was asking underage fans to flash him and his band to get backstage and shit. Someone snitched I guess, thank god. The whole band's been kicked off and banned from Warped tour.

For the first time in forever, you laughed.

You practically cackled. You laughed so much that it felt like you couldn't stop.

"I think we broke her." Liz muttered to Gavin.

"That's fucking amazing." you said, wiping tears from your eyes.

"It is, and its good to hear you laugh again." Gavin said. "Come out with us later, to celebrate."

"I will sometime, but I'm still not quite ready. People are gonna try to ask me questions, I just know it. I'm still not up for it."

Liz and Gavin nodded. "We'll be here when you are."

***

Later that afternoon a few quick knocks sounded from the bus door. You debated getting up to answer it, but human interaction was the last thing you wanted right now. There were a few more small knocks; and you able to ignore the unwanted visitor until, after a moment of silence, something slid under the door. Once you heard their footsteps disappear into the distance, you peeled yourself from your nest on the couch to investigate.

It was a white envelope with your name scrawled across the front. You hesitated for moment, wondering if another piece of your past was about to jump out and bite you. But after steeling yourself you pressed on, your fingers swiftly retrieving the mysterious contents.

You immediately smiled. It was a card with a drawing of you on the front, in a style that was unmistakably Gerard's. You were on stage wailing into the mic, confidently waving your middle finger. You couldn't help but laugh.

Fuck em all. The world needs you out there. If you're feeling up to it, come to our set tonight.

Hope to see you there.

-G

You closed the card and reveled in the much needed buzz of happiness it gave you. Gerard. You thought he would've have been angry with you since you had all but ghosted him these past few weeks, but that clearly wasn't the case. Your legs wanted to run after him, but you as you were covered in dorito dust and sadness, you decided to stay put. You'd make yourself somewhat presentable and then see their performance tonight.

***

You stood just off stage,  just hidden enough in your oversized hoodie to feel comfortable. Right before they began their set, Gerard turned and saw you, eyes widening with a glad surprise as though he hadn't thought you'd actually come. His expression quickly melted into a welcoming smile, and you couldn't help but break out into soft grin of your own.

The band greeted the crowd, already energized and cheering them on. You'd expected them to launch into a song, but instead Gerard began speaking.

"This is a special set tonight guys, because someone very important to me is here. Someone so strong, so kickass that sometimes I wonder if she's even a real fucking human being." He glanced over at you, eyes electric and impassioned, immediately i heat rise to your shrouded cheeks. "Well some asshole tried to hurt her. Tried to make her feel small. But I want her to remember she's too fucking amazing to ever let someone make her feel that way."

You could feel the sting in your eyes as tears began to build.

"And that goes for all of you out there, cause these same assholes have been messing with fans too. So if you ever see shitty ass rock dudes in shitty ass rock bands asking you to show them your tits for backstage passes, I want you to spit right in their fucking faces and yell 'FUCK YOU!”

The crowd went crazy, and you couldn't help but let out a small cheer as well, despite the tears streaming down your face.

"Y/N," Gerard breathed, "This is for you." and with that, the band launched into one of the most passionate sets you'd ever seen. You stayed for it all, loving every moment. As soon as it was finished, Gerard thanked the crowd and made a beeline off stage, directly where you had been stationed all evening.

His eyes were dancing with happiness at the sight of you, pumping with the adrenaline of performing, sweat still dripping from his dark hair. "Hi," he said,pausing for amoment as though he was holding back from so much more, "you came!"

"After the invitation I received? How could I not?"

"So you liked it?"He beamed, his cheeks, pink from exertion, reddened further. "I wanted to do like a mini comic but I ran out of time." As he grinned, fresh crimson gleamed from a small split in his lower lip. What you thought had been makeup turned out to be a genuine injury.

"You're bleeding." you observed softly.

His brows furrowed in confusion, a finger darting to his lip. He dabbed it, smearing blood onto his chin.

"Damn, again? Don't worry, it's nothing."

You didn't hesitate to grab a tissue from your pocket, step forward and gently press it against his cut. He looked down at you with affection, causing you to look away as your heartbeat picked up its pace. Instead you analyzed his face and noticed it was patterned with small bruises.

"Doesn't look like 'nothing' to me. What happened?"

It had been just the two of you speaking intimately just off stage, but crew and media began pouring through and milling about the area. You realized just how close you were standing to Gerard, and pulled your hand back when you noticed people watching. A pew passerbys patted Gerard on the back, offering their compliments of the band's performance. He quickly thanked them, barely turning his attention from you, afraid you might run off. He grabbed your hand, leading you to a quiet area.

"I may have gotten into a fight."

"What!? You don't even leave your bus, how did you get into a fight?"

"I had to. Someone very important to me was being hurt."

You stared at him for a moment, putting the pieces together in your head. Gerard knowing about the video, Alex's sudden departure from the tour...

"Gerard, you didn't."

"I did, and I'd do it again, Y/N. Besides, you can't say he didn't have an ass-kicking coming to him."

You let out a soft laugh, but your vision began to blur as tears welled. A swirl of emotions welled inside of you, tumultuous and much more than you had anticipated feeling tonight. You were touched that Gerard was so concerned about you. Embarrassed that he had to get involved at all. Glad that he did, after all.

At the sight of your tears, he stepped closer. It was him now who tenderly wiped your face, brushing away stray tears with his thumb.

"Jesus, Y/N, I can stand a few punches to the face but I can't stand seeing you cry."

That was all you needed to hear to get oceans pouring from your eyes instead of streams. You embraced Gerard, burying your head into his shoulder. Gerard folded his arms around you in response.

"Y/N I want to tell you...I mean I hope you know...just how important you are to me and how I feel about you. You deserve to be happy."

"You're so nice to me that I almost don't know how to process it." you admitted beneath an awkard, tear-ridden laugh. "Thank you. You need to know you're important to me too. I..I just--" You planted an aggressive kiss on his cheek, unable to express your myriad of emotions in words.

"There, I think that expresses everything."

"Everything?"Gerard asked, brushing a strand oh hair behind your shoulder, "There's a few points I'd like to add."

His hand cupped the side of your face and your lips met, softly at first, a salty mixture of tears and coppery blood. The kiss quickly deepened, caught in your own world, unable to get enough of the taste of each other. That is until Gerard winced and pulled back, blood dripping from his lower lip. His cut had only deepened from your exertions.

"We'll have to postpone this until that's better." you said, handing him another tissue.

"Damn. Kinda regretting that fight now." He laughed.

"Don't regret it. Besides, its not an entirely bad look on you." you teased.

A bashful expression crossed his face as he brushed his hair back from his face.

"I hate to say it but I have a press thing to do in a few minutes with the guys. Meet me in my bus later?" He said, offering another peck on your cheek.

"I'd be crazy not to." you replied, ambushing him with one final hug before he walked off.

You realized something immediately. Despite everything, the heartache, the surprises--you regretted nothing. And as you lifted your fingers to your lips, still buzzing from impact, you knew this had been a tour that changed your life, after all.

Tomorrow, you'd be back onstage, ready to begin again.

Taglist: @pacifymebby​

[blasphemous-lies-and-deceit]

FLUFF 12 OMGOMG FLUFF 12 FLUFF 12!!!! :3

"Am I on your lockscreen?" "You weren't supposed to see that."

~*~

"Hey Vagabud, look here."

Ryan turned his head, caught sight of what was facing him, and whipped his head back around before the fake shutter noise sounded. "What the HELL is your problem?" he snapped as he shot to his feet. His photo assailant, Ramsey's sniper, fell off the couch with a laugh, like he hadn't just violated his number one taboo. "Give me that."

"Dude, relax, it's blurry anyway." The sniper made no move to stop him from grabbing the phone from his hand. "You should smile next time."

"Not gonna be a 'next time'," Ryan growled, deleting the evidence from the phone. "No pictures."

"Pfft." The younger guy was clearly unimpressed, even when Ryan dropped the phone to the floor and smashed the screen with the heel of his boot. "Ya know that wasn't my phone, right? That's Gavin's."

"I don't care whose phone it is-"

"Clearly, Mister Wanton Destruction of Property."

"-you try shit like that again I'll strangle you with my bare hands."

"Kinky."

Ryan had no answer for that. So he walked away. The job was done, evidence destroyed, he was NEVER working with this crew again...there was no reason to get worked up.

~*~

"RAY YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!"

Cackling like an idiot, Ray took off across the runway, phone held out and away from him. Ryan took off in hot pursuit, wrench still in his hand. He'd been bent over, helping Jack fix something on the landing gear, and heard that unmistakable shutter snap again. He'd turned, found Ray clearly posing with his bent-over ass, and that led to the current situation. Once again getting after Ray over a sneaky photo.

"Sneaky" was actually a bit of a stretch. Ray was never subtle about what he was doing. Hell, most of the time he asked Ryan to pose or smile for him, or enlisted Gavin and Michael who were even less subtle than he was. It was stupid, it was childish, and despite his best threats (and carrying out a few less-harmful ones) Ray still persisted. It was almost enough to make him want to wear the mask again.

He caught up with Ray when he tripped over a hole in the desert, following him down to pin him in the dirt. "Give it," he growled, scrambling for Ray's phone to delete the footage. Again.

"Fucking make me." Ray was more squirmy and determined this time. It must have been a good picture.

"You little- Shit!" A very close jab had nearly gotten him somewhere sensitive. Ryan got his arm around Ray's neck, using his weight to hold him down. "You're not getting away with this."

"Sure I'm not." Ray sounded breathless, and not like he'd been sprinting across the desert minutes ago. It occurred to Ryan, suddenly, what position they were in, and he lunged back abruptly. Ray clearly hadn't expected that, because he collapsed with a shocked gasp. Ryan took the opportunity, snatching up his phone.

"Damnit." The screen was locked already. "Give me your thumb."

"Gotta wrestle me again for it," Ray taunted. His grin faded when Ryan got right back into his space, right in his face, close enough to smell the dust and sweat on his hoodie.

"Unlock it or I'll leave your corpse out here for the buzzards."

Ray shivered. "Flirt," he accused, before offering up his thumb. Ryan swiped the phone across it, catching sight of his lockscreen, a stupid collage of pot leafs and 420s, before it vanished to reveal the picture.

It was...actually a pretty good shot of his ass. Except for Ray making a chef's kiss in the foreground. Ryan dispassionately deleted it away.

"When you guys are done making out over there, we're ready to go." Jack's yell broke them apart. Ryan was sure Ray's face wasn't the only one red.

"Keep trying, you little shit," he called over his shoulder.

"Oh I will!" Ray gleefully answered back.

~*~

The first thing Ryan was aware of was the steady, annoying beeping. The next was how damn much he hurt.

His groan triggered a scramble of noise to his right. "Hey babe," he heard, and groaned again. "How ya feelin?"

"'m not your babe," he grumbled

"Yeah but they wouldn't let me come with you unless we were married, so?" He could almost hear Ray's shrug. "The doctors say you're stable, so that's good enough for me, we can keep you alive from there. Soon as you can be vertical we're out of here."

Ryan cracked an eye. Ray actually looked the part of a concerned spouse, deep bags under his eyes like he'd stayed awake for too long waiting for him. A thought occurred to him. "My facepaint..."

"Uh, yeah." Ray looked away. "Don't worry, I've got a memory like a goldfish, forget what you look like soon as I look away. And Gav's already hacked the security, he'll scramble it as soon as we're out of here."

"And what about any other pictures of me?" It was hard to sound threatening with stitches all up his chest and three IVs in his arm, but Ray flicked a glance back and away again.

"I'm not a fucking creep, dude. You're not that pretty passed out." A quick smile graced his lips. "'Sides, that's not a challenge."

"Asshole," Ryan weakly accused, settling back in his bed. All things considered, he would really rather have Ray pretend to be his fake husband than one of the other crew members. And he felt like he could really trust him not to have any voyeuristic pictures on his phone. This time.

~*~

"Fucking...hell." Ryan was deeply gratified to hear the breathlessness in Ray's voice where it was smushed against his neck. "Why'd we take so long to do that?"

"You were an annoying asshole," Ryan reminded him, running his fingers up and down his bare spine. Ray fit so stupidly good in his arms. It really was a tragedy it'd taken so long to get into bed together.

"And you're a stoic prick," Ray shot back, before pressing a lighter kiss to his collarbone. One that wouldn't leave a mark, unlike the rest he'd deposited there. "Pretty sure if you'd've stopped running off every time I winked at you-"

"I seem to remember running after you plenty."

"Yeah to delete my hard-earned gratuity pics. Speaking of-" Ray uprooted his hand to gesture over to his abandoned pants. "Gimmie my phone. Gotta have evidence I banged your ass."

Ryan groaned. "You're the fucking worst," he said, even as he obligingly fished the phone out.

"The words 'fucking' and 'worst' don't belong in this bed together with us." Ray took his phone and swiped his thumb to open it, but not before Ryan caught sight of the new lockscreen.

"Am I on your lockscreen?"

Ray looked guilty for all of two seconds before sighing. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"I thought I got them all?"

"Nah, I managed to copy that picture of your ass before you deleted it. That one had to be saved, that's fucking art." Ray activated the camera, holding his phone out at arm's length, getting them both in the frame. "Say 'Just fucked!'"

"You're fucked if this goes anywhere besides your lockscreen." His words were cut off by the shutter noise.

[transvavsquad]

title: infinity times infinity pairing: freewood, jerevin, jeremwood, jerevinwood au: skyfactory warnings: temporary character death summary: The darkness was painful, some had said, and without a torch to guide you and to warm you, then you would surely be torn apart by it. Some thought it was victory‒ the god of Night had won in his battle, and in celebration was wiping out the weak. Others, like Jeremy, thought it was sadness, or anger. The night god had lost his love, and the people had lost their light. The sun was gone. The Solar one had been taken.

read on ao3

first previous next

chapter 7: the dawn

It was... really hot, in the afterlife. Uncomfortably hot. The warmth burnt through his skin to his bone, it felt like, scratching at his very core.

Jeremy groaned in discomfort and rolled over onto his side, pulling at the thin fabric that clung to his chest through his sweat, taking deep heaving breaths of hot air that scratched his throat. As he moved a sharpness stung his chest and he scratched at it, annoyed, before he remembered and shot up in sudden shock.

The world around him was mostly dark, a thick fog of smoke and such settling in the near distance‒ around and beneath him were cliffs and ravines of a deep red stone, warm to the touch but crumbling easily under his fingers.

And deep, deep beneath him, around him, flowing from above him and around him, was thick, bright magma, lava, sweltering heat pouring off of them and casting this world into an eerie glow.

He pulled at his shirt in the area that was still stinging, looking around in confusion. Was this... hell?

“What the fuck did I do to deserve to go to hell?” he mumbled, picking himself up and dusting himself off.

“Nothing at all,” someone said behind him, and he felt his breath catch as he turned.

The man wasn’t facing him‒ he was sat in front of a thick pool of lava that was pouring slowly off the edge of their little ‘island,’ his feet dipped in up to the knee as he looked out over the empty world. There were lines of light along his veins, ash coating the roots of his hair and dusted along his neck and back, but little dancing flecks of fire that played around him like they were alive. They might as well have been, as they made their way closer when Jeremy approached, happily playing in the air around him.

Golden eyes, golden hair, golden skin‒ golden scarf, golden chains, golden heart.

“Oh, Gavin,” Jeremy whispered, and the Sun turned to smile at him.

“Hello, Jeremy,” Gavin murmured, and it was like music. “You’ve had quite a trip, my sword.”

Jeremy laughed quietly in disbelief, falling to his knees and feeling tears run down his cheeks. “You were there,” he managed.

“Every step,” Gavin told him, with a smile brighter than anything. “You are amazing, Jeremy, truly.”

“Don’t say that,” he whispered, sitting carefully next to Gavin. The god touched his arm gently, pulling him close and letting Jeremy rest his head on his shoulder. The warmth suddenly became bearable, from a sweltering flame too close to a dry summer day.

“Why shouldn’t I say something that’s true?” Gavin hummed, dropping his hand from Jeremy’s back. “You’re done something incredible, Jeremy, you raised a god.”

“But... you’re here,” he said in quiet silence.

“Yes, I am,” Gavin laughed. “This isn’t hell, Jeremy, this is a home.”

“Oh,” he realized, in a moment of quiet contemplation. “Oh.”

Gavin was still laughing as he sat back and let it continue to process‒ this was Gavin’s other domain, his true kingdom.

“Why here, though?” he eventually said. “Are you trapped?”

“For a while, yes, I was,” Gavin told him, curling his legs back up into himself, and looking out over the vast expanse of his domain, red and flaming, bright in a way he wasn’t. “But not here. Somewhere between existence and nothingness, between everything and nothing. I don’t know what to call it. I think I saw my twin there.”

“Ah,” Jeremy mumbled. “Your‒ Eternity, right?”

“Yes,” Gavin hummed. “I think it might have been theirs.”

“What was it like, there?”

There’s a long silence. “I don’t know,” Gavin eventually said, and Jeremy turned to see him wide-eyed, confused, vaguely terrified. “I don’t remember.”

He started to shake, despite the heat, so Jeremy took that as a sign to steer the conversation back to what it had to be. “And why are you here now?”

“To heal,” Gavin smiled. “To mend and restore myself again, so that I can go home.”

“Will you be long?”

“I shouldn’t think so. By the time you go home, you should be in daylight again.”

“Good,” Jeremy laughs, and it’s a wonderful thing, to laugh again. “We need our sun god.”

Gavin regarded him kindly, but confused, watching him as he turned to smile back.

“Do you think I am a god of simply sun?”

“No,” Jeremy said, and tilted his head in confusion now as well. “You’re a god of many things, aren’t you?”

“Ah,” Gavin said quietly. “Things, not quite.”

“I...” Jeremy sighed. “I don’t think I understand.”

“It’s easy to lose track,” the god said with a smile. “I’ll explain best I can.”

Gavin reached forward again and let his legs carelessly drop into the bright bubbling magma. Jeremy watched him closely, ready to pull him up‒ keep him safe, if he needed. Because he would.

“There are no gods of objects,” he said, dipping his hand into the thick lava and pulling it between his fingers. “No god of dragons, or livestock, or masks, cats, dreams. To be the god of a singular object implies the singular task of creation of those singular things‒ to watch over them and decide their fates, individually, for the rest of forever.”

There was a moment of quiet between the two of them, the cries of some type of lost soul echoing in the distance, before he smiled. “No, we are all gods of ideas, of ways of life, of intangible things that affect each living thing. We are gods of vitality, and simplicity, of courage and chaos and belief. The first gods were true gods of destruction and creation, of death and of life, of the basics of the world.”

“Of light and darkness?” Jeremy asked.

“More like... of happiness, of joy, of trust and love. And of belonging, discovery, curiosity, and family.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “One for eternity, and... one for rebirth.” He turned to Jeremy with a smile. “For sacrifice.”

Jeremy couldn’t find it in himself to ask what that really meant, but he had the feeling, not unlike when he’d first met Gavin, that he already knew.

“I think it’s past time you go back home,” Gavin said after a bit, pulling away. Jeremy took his hand and Gavin looked down with a smile and squeezed.

“I wish I could stay,” Jeremy mumbled. “I wish I understood.”

Gavin laughed. “I wish you could stay too‒ the understanding part you’ll get to once you leave.”

“Will I, though?”

Gavin’s laughter echoed through the Nether and Jeremy couldn’t help but laugh too, a gentle warmth blossoming in his chest as the sun held his hand. After a while, Gavin sighed the last of his laughs out, reaching out and placing a gentle hand on Jeremy’s cheek, squeezing where their hands were linked again. “If you were so incredible then,” Gavin hummed. “You’re going to be even more so now.”

Jeremy flushed and mumbled, but before he could get any words out, Gavin was closer than ever, brushing their lips together for just a moment and making Jeremy freeze.

“Go on then,” Gavin said against him. “We’ll meet you there soon enough.”

And then he slipped into the pool of lava in front of him, effectively disappearing, and leaving Jeremy alone again.

Jeremy wandered the Nether for a while, the endless maze of near insufferable heat that it was, searching for his way out. It came to him in the form of a dark structure, obsidian built upon stone, and grey rock scattered across the area, around the gateway. His dagger sung in his pocket, across worlds, echoing around in his blood, and he hummed along.

“The last of his flame, then,” he said, and placed Gavin’s gift upon the tiniest hollow at the base of the structure, brilliant gold upon dark glass black.

The second his hand let go, there was a flash of blinding, brilliant fire, and then the darkness of the obsidian was coated in an unnatural purple light‒ violet magic filled the opening and swirled like smoke, calling to him in a way nothing else had.

A last gift. A way home.

He stepped through without caution, feeling the portal magic cling to him and tug at his clothing before letting him slip through‒ like fabric, almost, curtains draping across a window.

Cool air met him as he stepped down on the other side into darkness, and before anything else, collapsed to the ground. He rolled over and watched the dark portal dissolved into nothingness in front of him, fading to dust and disappearing into the night sky through the trees.

The forest was dark around him, the leaves beneath him soft and cushion like, and his body and mind were still drained from events before.

Jeremy slept, comforted by the sound of his own beating heart, and by the warmth that lingered on his lips and across his chest.

“Hey, dipshit.”

Jeremy groaned and rolled over. He rubbed his eyes and held a hand up to block the brightness until a shadow fell over his face and he blinked, struggling to look up at the person above him. Someone laughed quietly off to his right.

“The fuck you doin’ napping in my‒”

“Shh, look closer.”

“...Oh, shit, Jeremy?”

He grunted in a quiet response of an affirmative, not completely awake yet, and the figure crouched lower, becoming more recognizable. A spatter of freckles across a pale face, unruly copper curls that covered his head‒ “Michael?”

“Hey, man,” the botanist said, grinning. “The hell you doin’ in my garden?”

“...wha...”

The second figure‒ Lindsay‒ helped him sit up, a hand resting on his back to keep him upright as he caught his breath. “Where am I?” he mumbled.

Michael shrugged. “Middle of the Draconic Forest. Bottom of the valley you were going to.”

“The... valley? The valley!” Jeremy rubbed at his eyes and looked at Michael in shock. “The hell do you mean, the valley? Jack’s valley?”

“Ah, yeah,” Michael said. “It is kind of Jack’s garden isn’t it?”

Jeremy stared at Michael and saw, in the light streaming through the leaves above him, newer things. Twigs and petals were tucked messily in between curls, dirt marring parts of his skin, grass stains mixing in with the freckles. His ears were pointed, and his eyes were nearly glowing‒ small, pink lights appeared at his back, at random, and Jeremy laughed in disbelief. Michael stared in confusion.

“Well,” Jeremy mumbled, looking at the newest god, “Ryan did say you were on your way to bigger things.”

Michael and Lindsay steadily guided Jeremy on the path towards the opening of the valley, the scattered dragon scales a familiar sight, along with a few new plants blossoming between the cracks of rocks, white petaled daisies glowing in the soft darkness of the overgrown trees and dark belled nightshades hanging low around the archway’s bottom. The veil of magic was a familiar and welcome feeling as they passed into the area and Jeremy sighed in relief.

Jack came up with a smile from his side of the area, holding out a hand that Jeremy took gladly.

“It’s good to see you again,” the bearded man said, and Jeremy smiled.

“It’s good to see you too.”

The draconic god’s smile diminished at the stressed tone of Jeremy’s voice and took him from the couple, gently guiding him over the bridges towards the cabin. “You need rest. This much magic on your body is taking it’s toll.”

“Magic? I’ve never had a problem with magic before...”

“Jeremy,” Jack said with the tone of someone talking to a child. “You revived a god.”

“Ah,” he said quietly. There was a silence before he blinked in realization. “That was real then?”

Jack smiled. “The sunlight isn’t fake this time, Jeremy.”

Jeremy had nothing to say about that.

Jack ushered him into the cabin, settling him down on the bed and pulling his cloak away to hang on the bedpost. “Take a long rest and then we’ll talk about what happened‒ show you where your stuff is.”

“Stuff...?”

“Every ascension is different,” Jack murmured, placing a cold cloth‒ where had he gotten that‒ on Jeremy’s forehead. “You went through a hell of a trial to do it, but.”

Jeremy wanted to ask more but sleep was taking a steady hold on him once again, and he fell asleep looking towards the window, the towering dark structure just in his view.

“Gettin’ real fucking tired of this sleeping thing.”

Jeremy slipped out from under the covers and sat on the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath of the valley air before opening his eyes. In front of him was the window, the dark structure standing in his sight, but he got distracted by the dust specks dancing in the sunlight.

The sunlight.

He held his hand out and watched the light coat his skin, the gentle warmth a familiar comfort and bringing him to quiet tears.

“Good,” he whispered. “Good.”

He stood up and grabbed his dagger without a second thought, tucking it into it’s sheath and opening the door to the valley. The air was now permeated with better smells than just chicken shit‒ roses and lavender mixed with the fertilizer and earth, as well as furnaces churning with charcoal and melting ores. The barrier of magic around the garden was clear and glassy, like an open window, and Jeremy smiled wider under the bright blue of the sky.

Off to the side came the sound of heavy beating wings, and Jeremy turned as Jack descended, slipping from his dragon’s back and moving forward to meet him.

“Are you feeling well?”

“Well rested, yes.”

Jack laughed. “It’s good to see you up and alright. Are you done, do you think?”

“With what I started, yes. But for the rest of it, I don’t think I can leave quite yet.”

“No one was asking you to,” Jack said softly. “You’ve got things to figure out first.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

“Do you... have an idea? Of what you are?”

“More than an idea,” he said, his dagger singing it’s pride. “I have it... from the source, so to say.”

Jack nodded with a knowing smile. “How do you plan to start?”

Jeremy took a deep breath and glanced upwards again. “I’m not sure.”

“That’s alright,” Jack said. “You have time.”

“It’s strange.”

“What is?”

“Not having that constant stress of impending doom.”

Jack laughed loudly, placing a hand onto Jeremy's shoulder to steady himself as he kept laughing. Jeremy couldn't stop smiling, feeling the sun on his skin once again, the familiarity of it somehow much better than he ever remembered it being before. He supposed it had something to do with what he knew now.

Who he knew now.

"Good morning," he said quietly into the open skies. "Welcome home."

And if he listened closely over Jack's laughter, he could hear a pair of voices in the wind, happy as day, echoing the sentiment back.

Rolling his eyes, his smile grew. "Go take a nap, Ryan."

[queenzufufu]

Youngsters (9/?)

Summary: For the kids at The Rooster teeth care home, life hasn’t always been easy. They’ve come from broken homes, broken families. They’ve escaped with broken bones and broken spirits. But at least now they have a second chance to be happy with a real family.

Well…that’s easier said than done when your family includes a hyperactive midget, an over eager wrestling fanatic and a boy who just can’t go a day without punching something…or someone.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 AO3

"It’s accurate and besides, Geoff’s called me far worse.” - Gavin

In his dreams Gavin sees the countryside roll by his window out in the bushy outskirts of the current town they were staying in, one they’d moved to in the dead of night only a few days ago, his parents driving all through the night to get them there. His parents often liked to do that and Gavin never quite understood why, why they’d up and leave just like that with no warning and no apparent reason. It wasn’t like they ever moved anywhere remotely interesting either - not that it made any difference to Gavin, he wasn’t allowed to have opinions.

The car turned off the beaten road onto an even more run down track, one that looked like it hadn’t been used for years. At the end of the track, there was a building, half covered with overhanging branches and overgrown shrubs, fallen into disrepair, and it was here that his parents stopped.

He waited until his mother opened up his door, a small woman, blonde hair falling messily around her shoulders. She took him by the hand and lead him out of the car towards the building, where his dad was already leaning against the porch pillar waiting for them.

“Hey. Are you feeling ready?” he asked as they approached, and Gavin nodded his head. He never was ready. But it made no difference.

“Yes, Father,” he replied. “What am I going to do?”

“Well,” his father looked around in anticipation, pushing his glasses up his nose and rubbing his arms from the brisk chill in the air. “We are going to be starting a new series of experiments focusing on isolation. Do you know what isolation means?” he added, looking at Gavin expectantly.

The six-year-old bit his lip. “Umm, it means being on your own,” he replied, grimly staring forward.

“Such a clever boy,” his mother murmured, glancing across to his father with a wicked grin. “We thought we’d try placing you in isolation in various locations. We don’t want you to do anything, you’ve got food and water with you, but they’ll be no outside distractions and no leaving these premises. And we’ll be watching you the whole time, making observations.”

“Okay,” Gavin replied with a sort of nervous smile. “No leaving the premises,” he repeated, because he knew they wanted him to.

At the time he’d almost been relieved. Out of all the horrific things they’d made him do and put him under, being left alone didn’t sound that bad at all, maybe even a bit of a welcomed break.

It was eerie out there though, no denying that - far too quiet, with a damp, sort of haunted feel to the entire place. Gavin’s footsteps creaked on the wooden steps leading up to the front and only door, and he tried not to think of what might be in the derelict shack.

The moment the door opened Gavin knew he didn’t want to go in there, let alone stay in there for as long as his parents deemed appropriate. It was dark, filled with a dank gloom broken only by the faint beams of sunlight filtering through the wooden boards of the walls, dust motes suspended within.

His parents ushered him in, dropping bags that clanged with the sound of tinned food. From what little light there was Gavin could just about make out a wooden table and chairs a couch and a small cupboard. There was a door leading to another room which Gavin assumed - and hoped - was the bathroom.

“There you are,” his father said, standing in the lightened doorway, casting an even more imposing figure than his wiry frame should allow. “We’ll leave you to get settled in.”

As his parents moved out of the door Gavin wanted to scream and shout. Never before had the urge been stronger to beg for them not to go. He didn’t want to stay in this creepy old building where there was no light and even less furniture. And suddenly he was darting forward, clutching hold of his mother’s hand. “No! Please don’t go!”

His mother looked surprised, and then uncertain, turning to his father for help.

His father was having none of it. There was anger in the green eyes, frustration, and outrage - but Gavin couldn’t help but send pleading gazes up at him all the same. Maybe just maybe, they’d let him off for once. He was always so well behaved, maybe just this one time –

“Get in your house.” His father ripped his hand off his mother’s and pushed him back, slamming the door shut.

Gavin stood there, wide-eyed and helpless. "No..." A moment later there was a scratching on the door and loud thuds, as the man finished up the job and barricaded him in. Then his footsteps echoed away and Gavin heard the car startup. Then he heard the car drive off.

Then he was alone.

He still hadn’t moved from the spot his father had pushed him too. It was pitch black now that the door was shut, he couldn’t even see his own hand if he held it up to his face.

Gavin whimpered, crouching down into a tight ball, hugging his arms around his knees. He didn’t want to be alone. Even being with his parents was better than this. He didn’t move at all that first night, only hugging himself tighter when he heard scary sounds coming from the wilderness around him, and he cried himself to sleep.

Waking up felt like bursting free from a prison cell; the dark, calm space that was his room seemed so inviting, relieving after that darker, damp and terrifying shack he had been kept locked in for three days. Gavin pushed himself up in bed so he was sitting on his pillow, leaning against the backboard, brushing sweaty strands of hair from his forehead.

Grabbing his small torch and one of Jeremy’s books provided a welcome distraction. He thought back to that terrifying night - how it was the first time he’d really seen his father that angry, the first time Gavin had ever attempted to disobey their wishes, how his mother had hesitated, just for a split second when he grabbed her arm.

Over the last year or so, Gavin had spent a lot of time scrutinizing in his mind just what might have made his parents' such horrible people. It made life easier when he could theorize reasons behind their insanity and cruelty, that they hadn’t been doing it simply for the fun of it.

He ran his hands comfortingly over the shiny, bright pictures of the book. There was no terror in those pages, only joy, meant for a child with no worries, to be read by a parent with nothing but love in their heart for their son or daughter. Gavin had to admit, the books had helped a lot, more than he ever expected - weird as that sounded. Guess if sometimes took the idea of a five-year-old to make progress.

When a cry rang out a few minutes later he jumped, looking across the see Michael thrashing about in bed. The other boy was whimpering as Gavin slipped out of his covers and padded over, reaching out a tentative arm.

“Michael? It’s alright, Michael.”

Michael’s eyelids flickered, his forehead coated in sweat, just like Gavin’s had been earlier. “No… go away. I don’t wanna… No…” he trailed off, twitching some more, then all of a sudden bolted upright. “No!” The word started off as a shout but quickly dissolved into a murmur as Michael became aware of his surroundings.

He turned his head to Gavin, breathing heavily.

“Michael? It’s alright, you’re safe.” Gavin almost felt uncomfortable about his own words, remembering how’d they’d been used on him a hundred times before, and that just because someone tells you your safe, doesn’t mean your body knows it.

Michael stared ahead, expression openly distressed. “I know,” he said after a while, looking back to Gavin. “I know. Just a bad dream, okay?”

“Didn’t think you got bad dreams anymore,” Gavin mused. “Not ones like that, anyway.” Not ones with memories, he thought, but didn’t quite say it aloud. “Michael, it’s alright if you wanna talk about it. Or not. I don’t mind. You’ve always been there for me though, Michael…” he trailed off, but the silence hung between them and he was forced to finish a little awkwardly: “I want to make you feel better.”

He wasn’t good at this. Hell, he’d hardly had the practice. It was he who was always needing others to comfort him, not the other way around. And he was nowhere near as good as Michael was, he could tell.

“Maybe I’m catching nightmares off you,” Michael considered, not seeing how much Gavin’s face dropped, even though the younger boy knew he was only kidding. He hoped. “It’s been so long… I don’t even remember his face that well but, like, I don’t know, he was all blurred in my dream. Still terrified the shit of me, though.”

A warm hand rested on Gavin’s back suddenly, and he met Michael’s brown-eyed gaze.

“You okay?” Michael asked, brows furrowed.

Gavin nodded, tongue darting across his lips nervously. “Yeah - yeah, I’m fine.” Why was Michael even asking him that? He was the one who’d just woken up from a nightmare after all. Well… Gavin had earlier but that wasn’t the point! Why am I so useless? Even when my best friend’s hurting. Useless.

Michael didn’t look like he quite believed him. His hand lingered on Gavin’s back as he tilted his head, gesturing for Gavin to sit down.

Gavin crawled onto the bed opposite him, leaning back against the wall, overlapping his legs with Michael’s. There was still a slight sheen to Michael’s face, a kind of ghostly look, and his curls framing his face were darker where they were damp. Michael was quiet, staring at Gavin, at his hands, around the room - the rhythmic ticking of the clock by his bed filling the room with noise, sounding a lot louder than normal.

“My dad weren’t a bad guy,” Michael spoke up - and green eyes were on him instantly, Gavin’s head snapping up. Michael avoided looking at him, eyes focused ahead.

“He hurt you,” Gavin added hesitantly, and Michael smiled sadly, shaking his head.

“Yeah, but not often. S’just those are the ones that stick in your mind and give you nightmares like this. But no,” he sighed. “He weren’t a bad guy.”

Gavin stared at him. “How?” he asked, unable to keep the utter bewilderment out of his voice.

“How?” Michael echoed. “He was just a guy who got fucked by society, time and time again. I mean, both his parents died young, he got kicked out of school, he worked loads of jobs and got fired from loads of jobs. He kept me and my brothers alive while my mom was out drinking all the time. He took his jail time like a man and paid the ultimate price.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno, sure, he was a piece of shit at times and he could be fucking scary and mean, but I always think of it like this: He coulda’ fucked off and left us to fend for ourselves a long time ago, but he didn’t, he stuck around. He cared. Somewhere in his fucked up heart, he cared.”

Michael eventually met Gavin’s gaze, wistful. “I can’t like him for what he done, but I can’t hate him either. Already got enough anger in me, ain’t got room for hate. No point hating a dead man, anyway.”

Gavin opened and shut his mouth, unsure. “But he hurt you?” He hadn’t meant for it to come out as a question but he was so confused. Michael was always telling him how Gavin’s own parents were pieces of shit and how much he hated them, yet he didn’t feel the same about his own?

“Gavin…”

“No. I don’t get it. He hurt you. He hurt you when you were young and small and didn’t know any better.”

“Jesus, Gav. Yeah, you want me to say it? He threw me and my brothers around a couple of times,” Michael snapped instantly. There was something in his voice - something determined, desperate, and suddenly Gavin realized what it was. Something he’d always known but had forgotten about - because his own relationship with his parents had been so fucked up and because he was still haunted by it to this day.

“You loved him,” he said quietly, face softening. “You still love him.”

It could be easy to miss. Michael got angry a lot due to what had happened to him. It would make Gavin worry about him a lot. And James. Others like Lawrence were just angry and that was how they were, but those boys? Michael and James could get angry even when they didn’t want to. And there was no one but their parents to blame. He used to think Michael got angry because of what his mom and dad had done to him, but recently he was beginning to think it was the fact that'd he'd been separated from them, that was what made him angry. Because somewhere - deep down - Gavin had always known Michael loved his dad.

Michael’s eyes were downcast, face relaxed in thought.

He’s just as confused as I am, Gavin realized. He understands that he has every reason to hate his dad, yet he just… can’t.

The realization gave him some kind of reassurance - even if he didn’t agree with Michael’s feelings himself. Who was he to say anything? They were Michael’s feelings and Michael’s alone. Gavin shouldn’t have any say in them.

“He was my dad.”

Gavin looked to Michael again, who was still so deep in thought.

“He was my dad and he worked every day of his life to try and give me a better life than he had. Maybe he hit me sometimes, maybe he got drunk and scared the life out of me, maybe he left us alone…” He slowly peered up at Gavin. “But let’s say maybe he’d been pushed around so much he sometimes lost control and we were the only he could take it out on, let’s say maybe he drank to try and forget about things for a few hours, let’s say maybe he only left us alone because he was working three jobs at once while my mom was out getting high.”

He smirked, or rather one corner of his mouth tilted upwards, but there was no humor in it. “Or maybe I’m just making up excuses because believing he was just an asshole is far worse. Either way, guess I’m crazy, right?”

“Yeah,” Gavin replied, smiling. “But that makes two of us.”

Michael watched him carefully.

“Think about it,” Gavin continued. “You still love your dad for reasons you’re not sure are true or right and I’m a lab rat boy who still has nightmares about the experiments his parents made him do. But even I still try and think of reasons for them doing it.”

Michael’s eyes widened. “Lab rat…”  he began but Gavin waved him off.

“It’s alright. I’m not an idiot, I know that’s what you guys call me sometimes.”

“No,” Michael cut in, grabbing Gavin’s wrist urgently. “That’s not what we call you, we just… we say it sometimes to describe how your parents treated you.”

Gavin shrugged. “It’s alright. I don’t mind. It’s accurate and besides, Geoff’s called me far worse.”

Michael blinked. “Right.” He sounded exhausted, and Gavin knew if there was one thing he was better than Michael at, it was surviving with a lot less sleep.

“Are you okay?” he asked, unable to remember if he’d already asked the question but uncaring if he had.

Michael let out a small breath of laughter. He glanced at Gavin out of the corner of his eye, like he was seeing the younger boy in a new light for the first time. Gavin stared resolutely back, and after a moment Michael gave a jerking nod.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t get many like that but they always suck. I’m usually alright when I go back to sleep though.” He shook his head, suddenly sad again. “I don’t get how you do it,” he said. “I don’t get how you have such horrible nightmares and are still so… Gavin-like.”

“I don’t get it either,” Gavin huffed. “But it’s just something I got to live with until hopefully, one day, I don’t have to anymore.” He reached out to press Michael’s arm, and felt the other relax under his touch. He wasn’t quite sure why he continued to hold on after that - but he was glad he did, and Michael made no effort to pull away.

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway had them both whipping around, jointly clambering out of the bed and going to the window, kneeling on the window seat and peeling back the curtain. It was a police car, and it was Lawrence who stepped out, or rather was escorted out by a female officer.

They saw Burnie already moving to greet them, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, but they knew he hadn’t gone to bed that night. He never would with one of them missing.

“Let’s see if he gets told off for once,” Michael muttered. “Dunno why they let that jerk get away with so much.”

Gavin nodded his head, with a tired sigh. It had gotten to the point where it felt like a day didn’t go past without some sort of drama involving the newest boy. Today had been no different. Lawrence and Ryan had accompanied Burnie into town, only Ryan and Burnie had returned.

Ryan had been even more quiet than usual that evening, isolating himself to his room straight after dinner. Gavin had gone up and knocked on his door, but either Ryan was ignoring any visitors or he had his headphones on and couldn’t hear a thing.

Burnie had been stressed as well. Gus and Trevor had kind of taken the reigns when he got back, allowing the head carer to hole himself up in his office. That’s where he’d been when Gavin and Michael were sent to bed and that was where they knew he’d stayed until this moment now.

Gavin just wanted things to go back to how they were. Before, he hadn’t had to keep an extra eye on his stuff to make sure it wasn’t stolen or broken, he hadn’t had to worry about any of the others screaming or shouting at him for no seeable reason.

“What’s happening?” Michael asked, squinting through the glass. His eyesight never was quite as good as Gavin’s. The subject of glasses had been brought up a few times in the past but Michael had immediately shut it down, claiming he “didn’t want to look like no nerd”. Unfortunately for Michael, he soon might not have much choice in the matter.

Gavin peered down, rubbing the window with his pajama sleeve as it fogged up from his breath. “Nothing. They’re just talking. Can’t see Lawrence.”

“He’s not run off again already, has he?” Michael asked immediately. “That would be a record.”

Gavin looked closer. “No. I think he might be closer to the house cause they’re looking that way sometimes, I can’t see from this angle, though.” He turned to Michael. “Don’t look like anything’s gonna kick off. You wanna go back to sleep?”

“Yeah, might as well. What is it? Three?” He glanced at the clock. “Lucky we’ve not got school tomorrow.” He turned to Gavin, reaching out to grip his shoulder firmly - and fixed the younger boy with a stern look. “You’re not a lab rat, Gavvy. That might’ve been how your good-for-nothing parents treated you but you are not a lab rat.”

There was an undercurrent of concern in Michael’s voice, and it wasn’t just about him worrying about Gavin being offended. Gavin smiled inwardly as he realised Michael was worried he might actually believe that was all he was. C’mon, I don’t really think I’m that useless.

“It’s alright,” Gavin assured him. “And it’s alright that you love your dad still. I might not get it myself but I get why you would feel that way. I think it means you’re a very nice person, Michael.”

“Ugh, nice… I don’t ever want people thinking I’m nice,” Michael muttered, and Gavin turned to him with a fond sort of smile.

Michael rolled his eyes. “C’mon then,” he got up from the window seat, pulling Gavin with him. “Bedtime again.”

“Yes, Burnie,” Gavin said, hopping straight into his. “See you in the morning. Wake me up if you have bad dreams or you can read one of Jeremy’s books if you want. Y’know that Hungry Caterpillar one might be my favorite, even though there’s only, like, twenty words in it. Oh and turn your alarm off, I don’t want that thing waking me up early.”

“Sure,” Michael replied, rolling his eyes. “Wouldn't want to interrupt your freaking beauty sleep.”

“Hey, people don’t say I’m the cutest for nothing,” Gavin replied, shutting his eyes. After a moment he frowned, eyes still shut. “Actually, what am I thinking? Jeremy gonna be in here at eight whether we like it or not.”

He heard Michael groan and shift under his covers as he mumbled sleepily: “If he is, I’ll chuck him out the window. No regrets.”

––––

“Thank you so much,” Burnie thanked the two officers as they exited the car. He’d spoken to the woman on the phone earlier - seemed that a lot of their time was spent picking up runaway foster kids. And with so few patrol officers active during the night, it was time that they probably wanted to spend doing something else. She’d seemed very understanding though, and smiled at Burnie as she opened the back door and brought a very disheveled looking boy out.

Lawrence’s hood was down now, hair a mess and his eyes red and tired. He purposefully avoided looking Burnie in the eye as he was released from the officer’s grip and wandered over to stand by the door, like a dog waiting to be let in.

Burnie meanwhile, shook the two officers hands, both of whom were young, too young to be police, Burnie thought, but that was most likely just his own age talking. “Can I ask where you picked him up?” he asked, glancing back as Lawrence kicked at the gravel in the driveway.

“Near St Peter’s park,” the male officer answered, an area a mile or so away from where Lawrence had initially run off. He said it with an almost hesitant sort of unease that had Burnie concerned. The officer lowered his voice, leaning into Burnie. “You should know, he was drinking alcohol when we found him.”

Oh. That didn’t surprise him nearly as much as it should have.

“Yeah… yeah,” he sighed, running a hand across his face, from both tiredness and guilt at admitting his knowledge to these officers of the law. “We are aware of it. Either he has a stash somewhere or some idiot’s supplying him. It’s a real problem, I know, but –”

He cut off - unsure if he should say that really was the least of their worries when it came to the eleven-year-old.

The woman - and by the look on her face, the slightly more street-hardened of the two - smiled in understanding, nodding past him. “Bit of a handful, is he?”

Burnie looked back again. Lawrence was still waiting by the door, as quiet as he’d ever seen him. He nodded. “At the best of times,” he said, sharing a small laugh with the officer. “He say anything in the car?” he asked just before they left.

“No, been quiet - haven’t you young man?” she raised her voice slightly to call out to Lawrence, gaze hardening as he turned to look at her. “You're luckily you’ve got such a nice home to come back to, I’ve picked up plenty of kids who aren’t half as lucky as you.”

Lawrence was already turning his head away again before she’d finished her sentence, the picture of perfect disinterest, and she raised her eyebrows, shaking her head sympathically at Burnie, before tapping the car. "Right, we better be off, Luke." Burnie said his final goodbyes and thanked the cops profusely once more, waiting for them to drive off before he walked up to his charge and opened the door.

“Tired?” he asked quietly. No reply. Lawrence was looking everywhere but at Burnie, as he had been ever since he’d got out the car. “C’mon, to your room,” Burnie said, heading directly for the stairs and gesturing for Lawrence to follow him, which the boy did instantly. He seemed tired, in a sort of daze.

They walked in silence to Lawrence’s room at the far end of the second floor. Only once they got there did Lawrence overtake Burnie, slipping past him to open the door, trudging inside. “You want anything to eat or drink?” Burnie asked from the doorway as Lawrence kicked off his sneakers, rubbing at his eyes.

Lawrence looked to him, blinking heavily. He sniffed and shook his head.

Burnie regarded him, watchful eye on the boy’s movements and facial expressions, all of which were very uncharacteristic right now.

“Why’d you run, Lawrence?” Burnie leaned against the door, trying desperately to understand what was going on in the boy’s mind. “Lawrence, I asked you a question,” he prompted when Lawrence continued to act like he was invisible, as he picked up some clothes from the floor and chucked them onto a chair.

“Ryan attacked me,” Lawrence answered, quiet and terse.

Now it was Burnie’s turn to give him the silent treatment, because that wasn’t true, and Burnie knew they both knew it.

Lawrence froze in his actions as the silence lingered on and it became clear Burnie wasn't moving. His shoulders sagged, and he spun on the spot, defiant. “Cause I felt like it?” he drawled out, sarcasm dripping from every word. He was vying for Burnie to get mad, for anything, but Burnie wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.

“Why’d you bring back the wrong food though? Did you just want to annoy, Ryan? Because I can assure you, young man, there's more entertaining ways of achieving that.”

Lawrence stared at him for a moment longer and then let out a noise of contempt, shaking his head, green eyes clouding over. “I got food, didn’t I? Who cares what it is?” He paused, mouth opening and closing on the verge of more to say, but ultimately shutting down. “I just… I –” His fists clenched. “I already told Ryan, I lost the stupid list!”

Burnie winced inwardly at the raised voice. The last thing he wanted was to wake up the whole house.

“And you didn’t think to just find him and tell him?” he asked, calmly.

“Nope,” Lawrence declared. “You know why, Burnie?”

“Why?”

“Cause I don’t give a shit what you or anyone else here thinks. Never have, never will. So suck on that.” He finished his taunt off with a big grin, but Burnie, watching silently, could see just how tense Lawrence was - could read it in the depths of his eyes and how carefully uncaring his expression was.

No, the young boy wasn’t as unfazed as he was pretending to be. What he couldn’t understand was the meaning behind the act. He could understand him acting out and doing stuff to annoy Ryan, a way of having some control when he felt he had so little; but Lawrence had picked up the right items in general, and none of them had been dumb or clearly picked up to incite frustration out of Ryan or Burnie.

“Alright…alright,” he murmured. “It’s late and neither of us wants to be having this conversation right now.” He started to pull the door but stopped at the last second, needing to get something off his chest. “Y’know it’s a shame, Lawrence,” Burnie gave him a long, speculative look; Lawrence stared back at him, as petulant as ever. Burnie sighed and continued: “Because up until that moment I’d really been enjoying my day with you.”

He left the boy then, planning to let Trevor know everything was relatively okay - who he knew had just as much trouble sleeping as Burnie did when it came to the kids- and then head to his room and try and get as much sleep as possible before thinking of yet more new ways tomorrow to try and combat the poor and concerning behaviour.

Not so simple.

He’d barely taken three steps down the hallway before a loud crash echoed throughout the darkened house, and had him darting the tiny distance back.

Reopening the door, Burnie was not surprised to see the small boy stood next to what was once an upright bookshelf. Luckily, the bookshelf had been empty so there was no mess but the hinges holding it up had been forced out of the plaster, the screws bent out of shape. Lawrence was breathing heavily, his fist hanging by his side, angry red welts and cuts on the skin. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together.

Burnie hoped the hand wasn’t broken. A trip to the ER was the last thing he wanted right now, especially after the conversation and day in general they’d both just had.

Lawrence’s jaw was clenched, staring up at Burnie defiantly. “Lawrence,” Burnie sighed, stepping forward. He wanted to look after the boy - it was his instinct to protect his kids, to help them if they were hurt.

But Lawrence was having none of it. He backed up into the corner, both fists clenching further, drawing more blood from the injured one - whole body shaking something fierce.

“Fuck. Off.” He spat, expression filled with hatred and anger.

Burnie stopped in his tracks, mouth tightening. He thought back to what the boy’s social worker had said and what had been in his file. That he was impossible to handle without resorting to force. Burnie was starting to understand how that might have been necessary for less experienced carers. Lawrence was still breathing heavily, quivering on the verge of a full-blown argument. He was ready for one, Burnie could see. Maybe even wanted one.

Pick your battles. Nothing Burnie could have said or done now was going to change anything. He looked sadly at Lawrence, gripping the door handle again. “I’ll have Trevor see to that,” he said. And without another word or look back, Burnie shut the door behind him.

He knew at that moment, it was the right decision to make. Didn’t make him feel any less shitty, though.

Part 8 - TBC

[theangelwithashotgun8]

FAHC Jeremy because GOOD LORD I do not give Lil J enough love and that needs to change!

Sorry this took so long y’all!

-

Okay but FAHC Jeremy nearly shitting himself when Geoff offers him the promotion.

He's looked up to the Fakes since he was just a kid fighting in underground rings for a meal. He'd heard tales of how Geoff had been broken out of prison with a limo and how Brownman had once driven a tank through downtown Achievement City just for shits and giggles. There was talk of a time when The Vagabond actually went on a Murder Break because Mogar didn't think he could do it and had replaced his weapons with nerf guns. They were all stupid, silly, idiots but they ruled Achievement City and Jeremy desperately wanted to be a part of that kind of mayhem.

Years later he goes from Jeremy to Rimmy Tim and Matt becomes Axial, they get a letter in the mail. There are no words. No return address. Just a stamp of a green duck. The next day a man in a purple hoodie and a baby pink DS is waiting at the warehouse where they store their weapon.

"Sup. Want a job?"

And that was that, they were part of the Fake AH Crew. They were floating on Cloud Nine for months, climbing the ranks until they truly felt like the Fakes were family. Family they were still slightly afraid of and in complete and total awe of, but family nonetheless.

Then one day Brownman, "Call me Ray", made an announcement: He was done. Retiring. Brown out. Jeremy had become close to the other criminal and saying goodbye was hard, but in the end Ray moved out of the penthouse.

"If you need me." He promised at the door, "I'll come running."

The pain of Ray leaving was dulled by Geoff's next offer, "Well I have a spare room... And an open spot. Lil J you up for it?"

And... He hadn't been expecting it, but when he turned to Matt who screamed, "Why you lookin' at me?! Say yes you dumbass!" he accepted and joined the innermost circle of the Fake AH Crew. It was easier to talk to the Big Boys when you lived with them and saw every stupid thing they'd ever done.

His hero worship of Geoff faded real quick after the man wouldn't stop singing Come On Eileen for five hours straight and he stopped fearing Ryan when the man proudly showed off the skull he'd shaved into his chest. Michael's temper wasn't so scary when you heard him giggle at something Lindsay had said and Jack wasn't nearly as intimidating when she was tripping Geoff because he won't stop singing Come On Eileen.

Gavin, however, remained a mystery. The dude literally just hid in his room, tapping away at his keyboard, and only came out when it was time to eat. He was perfectly polite, but distant.

Gavin had always been his favorite when he heard the news stories of the FAHC. The Golden Boy, Ramsey's Fool, the idiot who nearly shot himself in the foot and left behind a duffel bag with $10,000 in it. He’d landed in jail more times than anyone cared to count. Yet he was still Ramsey's favorite, his spoiled little lap dog who gobbled up the attention, flashing his pretty jewelry at envious clients who underestimated his skills. While everyone laughed at this imported twink Gavin robbed them blind, took their money, their guns, and their life if he could get away with it.

And most of the time, he got away with it.

Jeremy loved him, looked up to him, wanted to be him. A perfect mix of silly and threatening, those were his hard and true Life Goals. Yet when they first met, the Brit had smiled, nodded his hello, and then vanished into the back. 

The fearless "Golden Boy" he'd heard so much about was just your average dude. He wore hoodies and jeans, his face was free of the golden eye liner he'd heard so much about, and he had a habit of chewing his nails when he thought no one was looking. And he seemed to go out of his way to avoid Jeremy.

Which stung, a lot. Like, Gavin is his hero (if criminals can even have heroes), the dude means a lot to him and to be dismissed so quickly?

"He's just being stupid." Michael reassures him.

"I can talk to him." Ryan promises as he shoulders a baseball bat.

"I'm fine." He tells both of them because it's true.

He's been through literal hell and back and now he's on top of the world. He's working with the crew that owns Achievement City, he has a roof over his head, food in his belly, and enough money to spend on useless crap to help enhance his Rimmy Tim persona.

It was through Tim, surpsingly, that he brought Gavin out of hiding.

A heist. His first ever as one of the Main Six. They were gonna hit up a new art exhbit bringing in a priceless gold vase discovered in a tomb that had been lost in the sands for thousands of years. It looked ragged as all hell in the first few photos Gavin showed them, but after it had been dusted off it was much easier to see it's true worth. Geoff was practically drooling when he saw it.

It would go down in broad daylight, because none of them knew the definition of stealth apparently. Ryan and Michael would pose as tourists before shooting the guards and anyone who got in their way before grabbing the vase. Jack and Gavin were a ways away with the getaway vehicle, from there Gavin would be watching their every move from his laptop. Meanwhile Jeremy would be with Geoff on sniping and lookout duty. He was a bit disappointed that he was being left out of the action, but he was excited nonetheless.

So, with adrenaline pumping through his veins, he pulled out his Rimmy Tim heist outfit. A bright orange shirt, a purple blazer, his sunglasses, and his white cowboy hat. This was his first heist as one of the Main Six, he could do this!

With an ear to ear smile he flung open his door and came face to face with Gavin.

He stopped breathing for a moment.

This was the Gavin he expected. Gold rings dripped beautifully from his long fingers, his hair was swept up with gel, and the sparkling eyeliner made his hazels eyes pop. He was beautiful, stunning, dangerous. Ramsey's Golden Boy, this was the Gavin he'd looked up to all these years.

He wasn't ready.

"What on Earth are you wearing?!" Apparently, neither was Gavin-who stared at him with absolute horror.

Gavin shook his head, "No. Absolutely not. Put something else on you look atrocious!"

For a brief moment Jeremy felt hurt. He'd worked hard to put Rimmy Tim together, to turn that name into something people feared. But then Gavin laughed, and that smile made something warm and happy flutter in Jeremy's chest. He liked hearing Gavin laugh, he really liked knowing he was the reason it happened.

"Lil J that is the worst color combo I have ever seen!" Gavin laughs again and throws an arm over his shoulder, "Oh God. I'm taking you shopping after this heist, I'm going to teach you how to dress!"

And Jeremy wants to cry because Gavin wants to hang out with him! Deep inside he's screaming and running and flying over the fucking moon because this is all he's ever wanted, who says dreams don't come true?!

They walk into the kitchen, where everyone is groggily smushing cereal into their mouths, and Gavin still has his arm around his shoulders. Michael looks up first and smirks.

"So you got over it Gavvy?"

"Micoo!" Gavin shouts, face bright red.

Jeremy tilts his head, "Got over what?"

"Gavin avoids people he doesn't know very well." Ryan says from the fridge, where he pops a can of diet coke, "He's really shy."

He whips around and Gavin pulls away to look at the floor in embarrassment, "Is that true Gav?"

"You should have seen when we first hired Ryan." Jack says as she bites into her Lucky Charms, "He refused to look at him for a month."

"To be fair." Michael says, "He's fucking scary."

"You were nervous?" Jeremy's equal parts confused and amused, "Why? Look at me! I'm a fucking loser!"

"No you're not! You're Lil J! Our Lil J!" Gavin hugs him and Jeremy feels his heart do the tango in his chest, "And I'm not nervous now am I? When we're done with this the first thing I'm gonna do with my cut is buy you proper clothes because you look ghastly!"

The crew laughs, Gavin laughs, and Jeremy laughs through barely shed tears. Years of hell and pain and literally fighting for his dinner have landed him here.

He couldn't be happier.

[kdrakk]

esta dor nunca termina

by: kokonut drakula

Track 01

Intro : suicide 2019

by : gavin tarron

is it still worth it everything you did

everything you said every word wasted

here I am trying find grace in this prescription bottle

pill after pill one more maybe another

I have no desire to live not a reason to stay

maybe one more pill and and im on my way

strait to the morgue

went to a bottle of pills to find a sytheic grace

one pill 2 pill 3 pill 4 now im walking right out lifes door

maybe not grace but freedom ffrom the rest of you

another night 2more atempts

maybe Ill tie another noose

maybe this time ill load the gun

fix the mistakes of my parent with a single bullet

did you ever really care

I cause I dont know how any more

and  I dont really want too

bullet in the chamber click bang gavins gone

Track 02

3:56am

by : kokonut drakkula

4 in the morning 2 dabs to the face

lie awake and wish for death

the patterns in the ceiling

show a sad tragic display

like im watching a film of my own death

but its ok its okay I swear

just let me waste all the time

I dont even have

im not ok but I swear it will bee  okay

sleeping through the day even tho

im wide awake, cause im sick of holding all the pain

these demons running in my brain

I dont ever rest, but its okay(its okay)

what waste such a shame tell me sweet lies

no im not okay, but its okay (its okay)

R I P …..

always wanna run away

hide my self from all of you

knowing im such a waste

but im not a waste

I dont wanna feel this way

im not okay, I'll never be okay

but its its okay

these demons running in my brain

I dont ever rest, but its okay(its okay)

what waste such a shame tell me sweet lies

no im not okay, but its okay (its okay)

Track 03

A double barrel dream

by : kokonut drakkula (ft. lyrics over sanity)

staring down the barrel of good time

thinking this could never go wrong

and I feel ive been here before

and there it is.....

its voice I cant name

its a voice I know

its a voice I trust

(x2)

mistakes i've made lead me here

screaming can I still get into heaven if I kill myself

the devils yells “your souls already mine”

so I dont have a thing to sell and the voice screams

“PLESE DONT SHOOT”

so I strike a vein and watch the colors drip....

fading from red to dust in life and death

im just procrastinating another suicide note

little do they know im bleeding in the next room

hidding the pain they'll never see with a rusty razor blade

its voice I cant name

its a voice I know

its a voice I trust

(x2)

mistakes i've made lead me here

screaming can I still get into heaven if I kill myself

the devils yells “your souls already mine”

so I dont have a thing to sell and the voice screams

“PLESE DONT SHOOT”

(lyrics over sanity)

mistakes i've made lead me here

screaming can I still get into heaven if I kill myself

the devils yells “your souls already mine”

so I dont have a thing to sell and the voice screams

“PLESE DONT SHOOT”

“PLESE DONT SHOOT”(x4)

Track 04

Things they'll never know

by: kokonut drakkula

I am shattered and wrecked

blood covers my skin

I dont know what to feel

I dont know how to heal

I cant be the person they want

forever a disapointment

I see it in the way they stare

its making me sick

feels like razors in my throat

spewing a message in the...

blood of my vocal chords

a letter I cant read nor speak

you'll see it in my eyes and on my wrist

every scar every  wound you'll see it

and you'll cry saying “how can you do this?”

IM NOT READY TO DIE SO I WONT

THIS IS THE PERSON YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW

THE PERSON YOU THOUGHT WAS FINE

THE PERSON WHOSE CONSUMED BY SELF LOATHING AND DARKNESS

THE PERSON WHO ONLY WANT DEATH

I AM A BROKEN MAN BROKEN I WILL REMAIN

I WONT EVER BE GETTING BETTER

one day you'll see one day i'll be free

but until the broken I shall stay

Track 05

A loving heart; a suicide note

by : kokonut drakkula

Been crying on my own

I really dont need no one at all

fighting with the demons in my head

takes away all the sleep

havent known a rested mind in years

I know that im not shit

and I know that Im a piece of shit

I wish I had a friend

a friend that understands

the pain I live and sleep with

I been crying all alone

no one sees so no one ever looks

at the dark side that eating me alive

in my head screaming at myself

“p.s. I hope you die”

go ahead tell me it will be okay

while screaming im my head I just was you do know

“p.s. i hope you fucking choke”

pass the fucking noose

im on my way to another world

and im never coming back

Track 06

Im not my mothers son

by : kokonut drakkula

Everything good ive ever known

walked away at the first chance given

im sure you''ll do the same

cause im nobody im no one to anyone

and I guess its better that way

I just want you to know

I hope your disapointed

but not only in me

I dont want you to be proud

I want you to be sorry

sorry I was ever brought into...

this world where I suffer with every breathe

that enters my lungs

hopelessness is what I feel what I create

my life is poison to all I love

sitting on the floor with tears flowing like waterfall

staring at a knife how long will it take

take some more pills smoke another gram

so I can pretend I want this life

this life terned its back on me...

just like the rest of you

how can you not see the pain im my eyes

its carved up an down my arms

scars predateing adolesence

wounds you never knew existed

hurt you swear I never felt

I'm not here to be loved

im hear to live an die at my own hands

I dont want your apologies

I dont want your sympathy

all I want is the silence

I want to feel nothing see nothing hear nothing

just absolutely nothingness

ive learned you'll never be proud

and ill forever be broken

left to feel this alone

not a soul to understand

but I wanted to let you know

…..

….... I made it on my own...

im far more than my mothers son.

Track 07

My burden; my ego

by : kokonut drakkula

Ive lost so many nights

ive ran away from every day

OH MY GOD

what is wrong with me

why cant I just be

be a human being for once

laying in my bed next to me

you kept every demon away

but they came back screaming

they're here to stay

the darkness is closeing in

they screaming back and forth

I know their all in my head

but I cant take it anymore

I love you

yes I said I love you

I love like ive never loved before

for ever searching for a love

a love like this

id give everything

everything to hold you like this

I love you

yes I said I love you

I love like ive never loved before

for ever searching for a love

a love like this

id give everything

everything to hold you like this

I always thought this life was my own

little did I know that was the lie I always told myself

I always thought this life was my own

little did I know that was the lie I always told myself

thiis life was never my own

this life belongs to you and me

Track 08

A life wasted in trust

by: kokonut drakkula

I lost my fucking mind

you trashed my life

well here I am now

dug my way out of the grave

you left me in im back on top

im where you always wished you could be

now these next few lines are a series of event...

you lost the bennifits in our friend shit

you threw me away just to go find a new victim

someone tomake you look better than...

the fucking scum you are

where were you when I lost everything

where were you

had a gun in my mouth ready to go kurt cobain

where were you

I know I aint shit to you but a tool

I was one hell of friend

and you were a cluster fuck of deciete

that was my worst fucking year

and you will always be my worst fucking friend

where were you when I lost everything

where were you

had a gun in my mouth ready to go kurt cobain

where were you

hope your happy unraveling all that you destroy

and you feel the pain for everything you've ever done

where were you when I lost everything

where were you

had a gun in my mouth ready to go kurt cobain

where were you

p.s. Hope you fucking choke

Track 09

Broken glass

BY : kokonut drakkula

telling me to breathe

and I dont want to

no I dont wanna live

I think it time I leave...

maybe next time

its killing me please just slow down

I wanna feel the pain

when my heart is cut from this corpse

tell me can you hear me scream

cause I cant hear my own voice

the demons in my head

over power everything

theyre so loud I cant even think

and dont want to breathe again

please just put me to my end

its killing me please just slow down

I wanna feel the pain

when my heart is cut from this corpse

tell me can you hear me scream

cause I cant hear my own voice

I wanna feel all the pain you feel

with all of  the pain I feel

I wanna suffer forever

as long as your safe

I wanna hurt I wanna scream

so I can cry when the boken glass.....

strikes the vein ast he blood runs dry

reminding me im human

and im not ever getting better

im a evil selfish piece of shit

I dont want to breathe anymore

its killing me please just slow down

I wanna feel the pain

when my heart is cut from this corpse

tell me can you hear me scream

cause I cant hear my own voice

Track 010

Just a used up idiot(just quit on me)

by : kokonut drakkula

I dont wanna be a pat of this anymore

I dont want feel this pain

I dont want to wake up anymore

tell me one thing tell me you care

while you eyes only say “im sick of you just go away”

take another hit swallow a few more pills

drag the blade a little deeper

maybe I wont wake up this time

ill erase my life like I wasnt ever real

may I should be a little stronger

the numbness is setting in

just leave me alone

I dont want to hear your voice

not anymore

watch the blood run as it drips to the floor

I dont want to live anymore

everytime I wake up...

im filled with regret, loathing everything I am

you like to say “i wish I could understand”

but I know what you mean is “im glad I dont understand”

so walk away

please just walk away

so you dont see what may become of me

nothing left not a single breath

the numbness is setting in

just leave me alone

I dont want to hear your voice

not anymore

watch the blood run as it drips to the floor

I dont want to live anymore

stop pretending

“i love you and hope you feel better soon”

is just an insult these days

just say “fuck you and I wish you were gone”

the truth hurts less

but it not like im used to being in horrid pain

just give me a gun so I can fix the misstakes of my parents

was nice knowing you

BYE

Track 011

4:16am(a slave to this illness)

by: kokonut drakkula

i feel nothing, but i used to feel everything,

ive grown cold, but i used to care so much,

dont test me my trust issues will kill you

long before you can push the knife in my spine

theres not much left, you could never save me

gone tomorrow or dead today,

what will my friends say, when they find me

try and stay positive, just like a revolver on my head

spinn click I gained another day, like a sin kick to the face

tomorrows always better until I get there

gotta take drugs to get through the day

you think this is what I wanted

to know im not gonna grow old

die young its not that great

lying that im getting better

sick of people asking me how im doing

im not better im worse

here we go again

spinn click gained a nother day like a spinn kick to the face

tomorrows always better until I make it there

track 012

acid rain

by kokunut drakkula

those tears they are like acid running down your face

those tears are like aciid running down your face

your dont deserve to cry like that

you dont deserve such pain

i swear if i could i would take you pain upon me

i would swallow you pain and carry it in me

id take your burdens and shoulder them

to stop your tears

those tears they are like acid running down your face

those tears are like aciid running down your face

your dont deserve to cry like that

you dont deserve such pain

those tears they butn like acid runing down your face

those tears they burn like acid runing down my cheek

your dont deserve this pain

if i sould i would take ak your pain

all your burdens and should them all

i swear i would take your pain

bleed in your place

just so i know you are well

those tears they burn like acid in our hearts

track 013

damaged goods(they are beautiful)

by kokonut drakkula

i just wanna die

i dont know why

you wont  let me die

im finding im growing more and more cold

with every step and breathe

i havent been my best for years

i dont even know what that is

i wanna hold you more than anything

and on that night it made me....

my bed is stain with my blood

the blood of the loser piece of shit

who still loves your more thann you'll ever know

can you see me where im at

drowning in my own blood

with a gun in my mouth

drug my self to sleep almost feeling comatose

can i just sleep forever

i dont wanna let go

im not ready to end this way....

and then the nightmares hit me

and i dont wanna see they make sick

they make me bleed

i dont know, what is truth, was is reall, or if im dead...

its been tolong since i held your hand

and your all i have all i want

and if i die......

my last words will forever be...

"i still love you”

track 014

forgive me im selfish(R.I.P. Mike Schuchart )

by kokonut drakkulla

i remmeber a time not so long ago

you were hear and we'd chill

playing video games kicking bad guy ass

you were the first real friend

i ever knew

but fuck you whyd you have to go

you still had so much to live

we had plans bro you were ment for more

oh so much more

but fuck you im so mad at you

whyd you have to go

why you go out in the cold

i wish you would have just came home

and ill smoke another bowl

and as i exhale the smoke floats in to the skies

and i hope your bowl is ass green as mine

but fuck you whyd you have to go

you still had so much to live

we had plans bro you were ment for more

oh so much more

but fuck you im so mad at you

whyd you have to go

why you go out in the cold

i wish you would have just came home

dearest friend im so sorry

forgive me im selfish

wish you'd just come home

pleased dont leave me alone

dearest friend i still thnk about your everyday

please come home to stay

so everything will be okay

im sorry im so selfish

track 015

MY HEART AS A HARPSICHORD

BY: KOKONUT DRAKKULA

for 8 long years i was in a hole

all alone nowhere to go

no one to call, no one to love

and then...

you found me i couldnt ask for help

i didnt know how to say....

but you saved me for a dark place

my only shining light in a black hole of despair

i just wanted to feel loved be the one i love

you gave me that and so much more

ive showed you a smile i didnt know i had

and you smiled back, it gave me chills

through all my bones and it shook my soul

incredle, beautiful, sweetheart

those 3 word explain just portion of....

my queen my princess my babygirl

when life gets hard rememmber you have me

i will never leave your side

track 016

LITHIUM Prince

by: kokonut drakkula

im shattered and wrecked

just like a car crash

minus the fatality

mind is frail and feable

bones are weak clapsing

under the the pressure

no rest for days and days

sanity is wearing thin

these drugs keep me moving

look at this face

this chemical imposter

just a carbon copy smile

ill be your lithium prince

im not who i want to be

ill never be who you want to see

prove me wrong...

i hate me more than you ever could

ill disapoint you in everyway

just let me go or...

dont let me get this low

look at this face

this chemical imposter

just a carbon copy smile

ill be your lithium prince

im not who i want to be

ill never be who you want to see

prove me wrong...

or...

just lest let me fall

track 017

substance is a lie

by kokonut drakkula

when the time comes know

i was never alright

my whole life was a big fucking lie

my halo broke so long ago

and it burn like hell

im simply a tragic failure

ment for more than this

broken down under this medication

a sense in the back of my mind says

look at that kife and imagine it stuck

in my chest and watch it bleed

till my vison fades

im just trying to make it one more day

in hopes this suffering was just a bad dream

but that not the case each day make it harder to breathe

harder to smile and harder to say hello

if you could take a glimpse through my eyes

you last a who 15 seconds in this life

to dream of burning yourself alive

and seeing the pure joy in your own eyes

as the fire swallows you whole

im just trying to make it one more day

in hopes this suffering was just a bad dream

but that not the case each day make it harder to breathe

harder to smile and harder to say hello

im terrified that this is my last hello

and everything will end

and as the darkness comsumes the light

my own hand take the life from thise rotting corspe

where my soul i resides

track 018

your eyes

by kokonut drakkla

I can see it in your eyes

you're not the same girl you were

smiling every day.

With out the help of a little blow

and i ain't hung up on a fucking waistline

cause baby got an ass like yay

lets smoke another bowl,

blast dabs

says she fucks with me

cause i make it feel so right

i can see it in  your eyes

yeah your not the same girl you were

you'll stay right be side me...

bring me back when whe im thinkiing suicide

i know ive made you cry

and you stilll see me for the man i am

rather than what i could be

ive been stupid whipping through the hills

with the lights down low, throttle on the ground

break went out long ago

i can see it in your eyes i made you cry

baby girl i sware i deserve the fucking worst

you close your eyes when you kiss me

with the passion of your heart

even though i deserve your fucking worst

its clear to me

your not the same girl you were

please stay right beside me

[vivaciouswordsmith]

penultimate chapter!

After this, it’ll just be the epilogue, and then Four-Legged Fiend will be over and done with. Once again, I thank @asking-ask for the inspiration, and all of you lovely people for supporting me. Might write some oneshots later on down the line. We’ll see.

Anyway, you can read it here or beneath the cut. Enjoy!

In Jeremy’s humble opinion, this had to be the most impractical way to conduct a heist. 

Geoff had gone on and on and on about how serious they were going to be, but then hit the stumbling block of not having a ‘serious’ way of getting their Kuruma to the mainland. With few options immediately available, and time being of the essence, they were forced to fire up Geoff’s obscenely golden yacht, load the Kuruma onto it, and make their way to the mainland that way. After a half-hour of frantic phone calls, Geoff was able to drum up enough crew members to stage a fake party on the yacht, which he hoped would be a convincing enough alibi for most authorities to turn a blind eye to their activities.

This was where the crew found themselves at that moment. Lights flashed and whirled around, booze flowed through the ship as quickly as the wake closed around it, the stench of sweat hung over the congregation, and somehow all their fellow crew members had giant smiles plastered all over their faces. Honestly, Jeremy was in awe at how easily they were able to let go of their troubles and pretend to party the night away. Hell, some of them appeared to be actually enjoying themselves.

As for Jeremy, he was barely able to keep himself from shaking. Geoff only allowed the main crew members two drinks that nights, and sadly he was already halfway through his second shot of whiskey. Damn if he didn’t want some fucking courage, though. It wasn’t like he hadn’t ever broken in anywhere. Far from it, actually. It was practically a goddamn necessity in Los Santos. No, what had him worried, more than any threat of police or breaking into a zoo, was the fear that they would somehow fail. Maybe Ryan had been transferred to another location without them knowing. Maybe they’d decided to put him down. Maybe he was long gone, and they were only preparing for more heartbreak. Maybe-

“How’s it going, Li’l J?” He jumped and spilled most of his remaining drink on the mahogany counter. Geoff clapped him on the back and only eyed the puddle with slight annoyance. “You ready for this?”

“Sure. Yeah.” He scrubbed the mess up with a cocktail napkin and threw the pulp in the direction of the trashcan behind the counter. It splattered onto the ground immediately next to the trashcan. “How soon are we heading out?”

“Bout an hour. Harbor patrol’ll be long gone by then. You and Gav will be taking the Seasharks, while Jack and I will use the Dinghy to tow the Kuruma to shore. We’ll group up there.” Geoff patted him on the back again. “Don’t sweat it, okay? This is gonna be nice and easy.”

“I’m sure it will,” he said under his breath. Geoff raised an eyebrow, but left Jeremy be and went back over to the bar. He was ninety-nine percent sure Geoff had already gone past his two-drink limit, yet there he was, pouring himself another two fingers of whiskey like they weren’t about to break into a zoo. He caught Jeremy staring, blinked, very obviously set the whiskey back beneath the bar, and chugged the entire glass while flipping him off.

Well, he was the boss.

In stark contrast to the previous twelve hours, the next sixty minutes couldn’t pass fast enough. Jeremy couldn’t count the number of times something was broken, and he swore to God there were two people fucking in the corner. Matt tried to talk to him a few times, but the music drowned out every attempt at words he tried to make. Jeremy had downgraded to E-Cola by this point, and the corn syrup certainly wasn’t helping his shaking hands. If anything, he felt twice as twitchy as he had before. He glanced at the clock so many times in the course of that hour he developed a crick in his neck. Every time he checked it, it seemed like time hadn’t moved at all, and the unease in his stomach grew. There wasn’t a distraction in the world that could last long enough to get him through that one damn hour.

When a hand clapped on his shoulder, Jeremy fully expected Matt to have returned with yet another attempt to get him to cheer up, but instead came face to face with Jack. He nodded once and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. Jeremy’s heart throbbed in his throat. He swallowed, and nodded back. Jack turned on his heels and walked to the boat’s stern. Jeremy stumbled over his own feet, caught himself, and lolloped over to the golden railing.

Geoff and Gavin already stood on the tiny dock affixed to the yacht’s side. They struggled to hook a set of chains to a small loop on the back of a black dinghy. The chains were attached to a small float, upon which the tarped Kuruma sat. The ocean’s waves were not doing anything to help them out, and in fact the Kuruma looked in danger of flowing out to sea.

“Uh…do you guys need help?”

“I think we got it!” Geoff heaved on the chain and managed to clip the hook onto the dinghy. It creaked loudly, and Jeremy swore the loop bent into more of a ‘0’ shape. “See? It’s all good.”

“This shit better hold, Geoff, otherwise we’ll be out a Kuruma.”

“It’ll fucking hold!” Geoff stood up and dusted himself off. “Okay, Gav and Jeremy are up. You guys go on ahead, and we’ll follow you to the meeting point. You remember where it is, right?”

“That little beach surrounded by the rocks, right?”

“Good man. We’ll pick you up as soon as we get the Kuruma ashore.”

Jeremy swung over the railing and shimmied down the ladder. The platform wasn’t nearly big enough for three people, so he moved to a black Seashark, undid the tow rope, and clambered aboard. The motor roaring to life scared the shit out of him, but he recovered quickly and swung it out to sea. Another engine sputtered to life behind him, and a glance back showed that Gavin already followed closely behind him.

Strangely enough, as soon as the yacht faded into the distance, Jeremy found himself actually enjoying the ride. He jumped a few waves and goaded Gavin into racing him to the beach. Once or twice a grin stretched across his face, and he managed to spray an obscene amount of seafoam right into Gavin’s dumb face. His squeals made the venture entirely worth it.

After about fifteen minutes or so, the shore loomed ahead of them. Moonlight glinted off the rocks and dyed the sand pearly yellow-white. Jeremy slowed his approach and guided the Seashark out of the water and onto land. It sputtered and eventually went silent. He shoved it behind a rock and stripped out of his soaked jacket. A gust of wind moaned through the rocks and turned to ice against his dripping skin. He rubbed his upper arms and blew into his hands.

“Fuck, I hope Geoff and Jack get here soon.”

“Damn right.” Gavin panted and sagged against the rock. “Why is it so cold? It’s summer!”

“Wind blowing off the water, Gavin. Doesn’t help that we’re fucking soaked, either.”

The Brit glared at him. “I’d be fine if you hadn’t drenched me, you nob.”

Jeremy held up his hands. “What can I say? The opportunity presented itself, and I couldn’t resist.”

They didn’t speak after that. Jeremy huddled beside the Seashark and continued to rub his arms and legs. He eyed the road above the rocks and hugged his knees to his chest. Hopefully Geoff and Jack had made it to land by now, and would bring the Kuruma and their change of clothes around before too long. God, he hoped they’d be quick. His soaked clothes clung to his skin, and with every light breeze wrapping around the rock they turned colder and colder. Gavin’s breath sped up, and he swore he could see little puffs of breath dissipating in the moonlight.

Finally, headlights swept over the rocks, and the quiet purr of an engine stopped up on the overhead path. Jeremy turned and craned his neck. The Kuruma sat on the road overhead. Light glimmered off its black paint and cast a long shadow over the beach beneath it. Jeremy stood and gestured to Gavin.

It took them a few minutes, but eventually they scurried up the rocks and knocked on the Kuruma’s window. The trunk popped open. Inside were the armor sets they’d bought earlier. Both of them tore their soaking clothes off and strapped on the armor. Once everything was in its proper place, they tossed the wet clothes into the trunk and sat down in the back.

“Okay, it’s a thirty minute drive to the zoo,” said Jack. “Geoff’ll run down the plan again while you two check weapons.”

“Right, here’s how it’s going to go, dickheads,” said Geoff. “Jack’s going to stay outside the main gate with the Kuruma, ready to help us make our escape. If something happens and you can’t make it, make sure you tell him so he’s not sitting here with his dick out.”

“Yeah, we got that,” said Jeremy. He popped the clip out of his pistol and checked the bullets. “Jack’s out here, and we’re going in through the side door, right?”

“Right. We’ll drop Gavin off by the security office. He’ll watch the cameras, make sure we’re not going to have any unexpected visitors, then he’ll wipe that shit once we’re out.”

“Got it,” said Gavin.

“That leaves you and me, Li’l J. We’ll split up and head toward the two exhibits.” A piece of paper poked Jeremy’s forehead. He grabbed it and held it up to the window. New Eden Park Map headed the paper, and the rest was dominated by a simplified map of the zoo. “I’ll head for the wolf habitat, and you’ll head for the new rescues area.”

“Do we know he’ll actually be there, thought?” asked Jeremy. “I mean, he’s a wolfdog. Where does he fit into…into any of this?”

“That’s what we’re gonna haveta figure out, Jeremy.” Geoff paused for a moment. “Now, once one of us finds him, he’ll call the other and wait to reconvene. Then we’ll make our way into the exhibit, bust him out, and head back to Jack.”

“Sounds fucking easy when you phrase it like that,” said Jeremy.

“Hopefully it will be that easy. Still, be ready for fucking anything, boys.”

Jeremy pushed the magazine back in with a click. “Aren’t we always?”

“Sometimes. When we’re lucky.” Geoff let out a deep sigh. “God, we’d better not fuck this up.

In what felt like no time at all, a wide median split the road in two, and a series of animal statues sprouted out of it, growing larger and larger the further they went. A blue sign pointed toward the zoo. Jack looked in the rearview mirror. Jeremy and Gavin nodded and hefted their weapons. He nodded back and turned into the drive.

A large wrought iron gate stood at the end of the way. Vines curved up the sides and coiled around the figures on either side of the huge plaque bearing New Eden’s name. A man stood on the left side, and a woman on the right. They were naked save for the leaves covering their nethers. The headlight flashed off the iron and illuminated the dozen or so bronze snakes coiled around the nameplate. Geoff whimpered and sank into his chair.

“Well, that’s not ominous at all,” said Jeremy.

“Fucking Christ that’s creepy,” said Geoff.

“Leader of the most infamous crew on the West Coast, everybody,” said Jack.

“Shut the fuck up!”

Jack chuckled and pulled the wheel all the way to the left. The Kuruma’s wheels hit the curb and mounted it. Grass rustled and crunched beneath the wheels, and the gate quickly faded into the darkness behind them. A concrete wall ran along their right side. Paintings of jungle foliage and animals faces flashed and rippled through the darkness, appearing and disappearing in the blink of an eye.

“Okay, it should be…right…here.” Jack stopped the car and sat back. A small nondescript door sat in the middle of the brilliant paintings. It had no handle or doorknob on the outside, and a small set of stairs led up to the little fenced off platform. “All right. It’s all you guys now.”

“Right. C’mon, guys.” Geoff waved Gavin and Jeremy forward and popped the door open. “Let’s get our wolfdog back.”

They stepped out of the Kuruma and headed toward the door. Geoff stopped them right when they passed a cluster of trees and motioned for them to wait. When they gave him a questioning look, he pulled a brick of C4 out of his backpack and raised his eyebrows. They quickly got the picture and huddled behind the nearest tree trunk. Geoff let out a soft snort and approached the door. He stuck the C4 on the spot where the knob would have been and jumped back down the stairs. A few seconds later, the ground trembled, and smoke wafted around the trunk. Jeremy peeped around it and saw the long empty hallway beyond the wreckage of the door.

“Are we still good?” asked Geoff.

“I don’t know yet,” said Gavin. “Let’s just keep going!”

With that, they entered the dark building. It stunk of mildew and dust, and the shadows cast by their flashlights were far more interesting than the actual hallway. After a veritable labyrinth of endless turns and dead ends, they finally found the entrance into the main building. Their side was thankfully unlocked, so without further ado, they moved forward.

However nice New Eden might have been by daylight was completely occluded by darkness. Their flashlights glanced off skeletons and scales and fur and dull, glassy eyes. Gavin let out a small whimper and pressed closer to the other two.

“Damn, this is creepy. I thought this was a zoo or something?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s, like, educational shit or something.”

“Both of you shits shut up! We’re almost to the security office.”

They both clammed up and moved on. A dim glow shone on the wall directly in front of them, and when Jeremy turned his head to look, he saw a set of monitors and the outline of a person behind two reinforced windows. Both he and Gavin stopped in their tracks. Geoff gave Gavin a pointed look and gestured at the door. Gavin blinked. He gestured more frantically. Gavin finally seemed to get it and crept up to the door. He fumbled with the lock, swore under his breath, and got it open.

Apparently he made some sort of noise, because the guard turned around. Before he could do anything, Jeremy aimed and fired. The bullet zipped out of the gun and hit him right between the eyes. Blood spattered over the monitors, and he slumped to the ground.

“Well, Gavin’s job just got harder,” said Geoff.

“Bugger my arse! We weren’t going to kill him, Jeremy!” Gavin glared at him. Most of the color had already drained from his face. “Christ alive, I’m going to have to clean this now, Jeremy!”

Jeremy threw up his hands. “Well it was either kill him or have him pull the fucking alarm! Plans have to fucking change sometimes, or we’d never get anything done! I’d rather have a couple fucking bodies and Ryan safe at home than try to fucking…I don’t know, Silent Snake his ass and get caught before we even do anything.”

“Fucking stop already! Christ, we need to keep moving before the rest of the guards come to see what’s wrong!” Geoff waved his hands around and glanced at the door. “Gavin, get to that security station now!”

“I’m going! Christ! You go find Ryan!” He nudged the dead guard aside with his toe and sat down.

“Okay, Jeremy, let’s go get our wolfdog back.” Geoff rolled his eyes and clapped Jeremy’s shoulder. “Fuck if I don’t know where he is, though.”

“That’s why there’s two of us, Geoff.”

They moved back out into the hallway and followed the signs toward the exit. A wave of heat, pollen and animal stink hit them right in the face when they opened the glass doors. Jeremy swallowed at the sight of the dim brick path winding past net and glass enclosures, going on and on and on until it was swallowed by pitch darkness.

“Okay, um, where are we going?” Jeremy pulled out his map and held it up to the moon. “The wolf enclosure is in the, uh, the, uh-“ He scanned over the map with his finger. “-The wolf enclosure is…in the North American section. Fucking finally.”

“Sure it is, buddy, but Ryan’s not exactly a purebred wolf. They might have put him somewhere else.”

“Where else is there?”

Geoff’s finger poked into his field of view and landed on the far side of the map. “This fucker says it’s hybrids and rescues. He’s probably there.”

“Do they know he’s a hybrid, though?”

“Uh…if they have his vet records…they could? I don’t fucking know.”

“Guess we’re gonna haveta check both of ‘em after all.” Jeremy sighed and put the map back in his pocket. “I’ll check the rescues, and you check the wolves.”

“Why me?”

“Well, the wolves are closer, and well…” Jeremy grinned. “You’re not exactly getting any younger, pal.”

“Well…you can…fuck off, Jeremy.”

Jeremy laughed and moved into the darkness.

An uneventful twenty minutes later, Jeremy rounded a corner and finally found the Rescues section. Most of the cages were smaller than his bedroom, so he paid them no mind and looked at the map again. A few more turns later, the pathway dead-ended in a vast field and forest exhibit. He moved closer and peered over the cinderblock wall. A gigantic trench sat in between him and the grass. He swallowed and looked back at the wall. A tiny plaque embedded on top of the half wall informed him that this area was meant to hold rescued wolfdogs.

His heart fluttered in his throat.

“Uh, Geoff? I think I might be on to something.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“There’s a wolfdog exhibit in the Rescues section. They must get a lot of ‘em or something. Just…you know…fucking get over here!”

“Don’t worry, I’m on my way. I’m not that fucking old.”

Jeremy laughed and looked back at the enclosure. Unfortunately, it was too dark for him to make anything out besides shadows in between the trees. He shrugged and ran his flashlight over the various plywood displays set up around the little wall. Most explained how wolfdogs were actually incredibly dangerous and too much for most people to handle. Sun damage had faded the pictures and letters quite a bit by this point. Jeremy rolled his eyes and moved on.

The last display looked to be brand new, with red paint shining in the flashlight and every brushstroke still pronounced on the plywood. Jeremy spared it a glance, made to move on, and then did a double take. When he actually read the display’s content, he nearly dropped his flashlight in shock.

Introducing…the Reaper!

This deadly stalker of Los Santos’ criminal underbelly first appeared four years ago in the possession of a powerful gang. The skull-shaped markings on his face garnered the nickname ‘the Reaper’ and thus began a reign of terror thugs, police and civilians alike wouldn’t soon forget. This dangerous wolfdog was finally cornered, subdued and brought here to New Eden, where he will live indefinitely. The Reaper is considered by most experts to be the prime example of the dangers of wolfdog ownership.

A black outline of a wolf on a rocky outcrop sat beneath the blurb. A stylized wolf skull had been painted on its snarling face, and its eyes were two narrowed red slits. Jeremy blinked at it a few more seconds, a grin curling over his face. He put his fingers to his earpiece and let his weight rest on his back foot.

“Hey, Jack?”

A few moments passed before he finally answered. “What? Something wrong?”

“How much room is there in the Kuruma?”

“Uh…why are you asking?”

“I’ve just seen something we desperately need back in the penthouse.”

“Jeremy, we’re here to get Ryan back.”

“If you saw it, you’d understand!”

“Jeremy, the fuck do you want to steal from this place?” asked Geoff “It’s fucking hard enough dealing with one wolfdog!”

“I swear to God, it’s not an animal!”

A set of footsteps rounded the corner. Geoff walked up to Jeremy and opened his mouth. His eyes flicked to the sign, and whatever he was about to say died almost immediately.

“Oh my God we need this.”

Jack sighed. “Geoff, not you too…”

“Jack, you don’t understand, this is the funniest shit I’ve seen all week.”

“Do I have to remind you why we’re in a fucking zoo in the middle of the fucking night? We. Are. Here. To. Get. Ryan.”

“I know, I know.”

“I’m just trying to figure out why they build a fucking trench around the wolfdogs,” said Jeremy. “The fuck is it supposed to do?”

“It’s to keep them from getting out,” said Gavin. “They’re all fast and jumpy and shite, so they need a way to keep them from escaping that’s also not harmful, yeah?”

“So…a trench is the best way to do that?”

“They’re not stupid, Jeremy. They’re not going to do anything that could get them hurt.”

“What about bars? Or…those fucking…rope nets?”

“Bars look cruel, don’t it? And nets are for birds, Jeremy. Wolves can’t exactly fly away.”

“Okay, it’s great there’s a humane way to keep the wolves from escaping. How the fuck are we supposed to get in?” asked Geoff.

“Hold on…” Keys clacked for a few moments. “Try to look for some sort of service entrance or an ‘Employees Only’ door. You might be able to get in through the place where they rotate out the animals.”

“Okay, let’s…wait, they rotate out the animals?”

“Yeah! Y’know, they’ll have different groups of animals out at different times. Like a male lion on Wednesday and all the females on Thursday.”

“What, don’t want kids seeing the Circle of Life?”

“Pretty much.”

“Okay, assholes, enough with the chitchat. We’re losing time as it is.” Geoff finally moved past the display and scanned around the little cul-de-sac. “There!” He pointed to a little pathway barred with a rope and a sign saying ‘Stop! Employees ONLY beyond this point.’ He kicked the rope out of the way and stepped down the path. Jeremy rolled his eyes and followed behind him.

The little path wound through several different gardens of leafy plants and ended at a door set in a plain beige wall. This also had ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY’ written on it in bold red letters. A keypad sat above the door’s handle. Geoff swore under his breath.

“Gav, you still there?”

“What do you need, Geoff?”

“Is there any way you can bypass this employee’s only door?”

“Uh…hold on…” He typed at a keyboard for a few seconds. “I don’t know. I see where you’re at, but…it’s not exactly…hold on.” A beat of silence. “There’s a spiral with this month’s codes in it. You want to try some of those?”

“Oh, God, we’re going to be here all night,” said Jeremy.

“Okay, it looks like it’s going to be a four digit number, I don’t know which door you’re at, unfortunately, so I’m going to give you a passcode, and you tell me whether or not it’s good, all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking stoked to be doing this.” He bent down and eyed the keypad dubiously. “God, there’s like, a billion possible combinations for this fucker.”

“Not a billion, Geoff! A lot, yeah, but not a billion.” Pages rustled over the comm. “All right, these are the ones for your general area, so…try…four nine one one.”

“Do I hit anything after that?”

“Uh…I don’t think so. Looks like the light will flash green and the door will unlock if you enter the right one.”

Geoff pressed each button carefully. The keypad buzzed angrily and flashed red. “That wasn’t it.”

“Okay. No big deal. Let’s try…five naught two six.”

“What’s naught?”

“Zero. Idiot.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Geoff tried this code. Again it buzzed and flashed red. “Still wrong, asshole.”

“Hey! No need for that!” More pages flipped. “Okay, how about this one…seven eight seven two.”

“This better be it, or I’m cutting your salary for the next month.”

“What? Why?”

Geoff stabbed at the buttons. The light flashed green, and a kaTHUNK sounded from the lock. “Don’t worry, Gav, your salary’s safe.”

“Thank Christ.”

He pushed the door open, and he and Jeremy entered the dark building. A wall of animal stink hit them right in the nose. Jeremy coughed into his sleeve and took a deep breath in through his mouth. “Okay, we’re in the animal…switchout…thing. Which way to the wolfdogs?”

“Uh…are there any fucking signs anywhere?” Geoff flicked his flashlight over the walls. Several pairs of eyes blinked back at him from behind bars, and he gulped. “Shit, this is creepy.”

“Let’s just…you know, keep moving, and hopefully we’ll see wolfdogs,” said Jeremy.

“Great plan, Jeremy. A plus.”

“Thanks, boss.”

They crept through the cage-lined hallways, breathing through their mouths to fight the stench of animal shit and piss drifting through the air. Several growls and hisses followed them through the complex, and Jeremy did his best to ignore the eyes following him down the hall. His fingers curled around the butt of his pistol.

Finally, the flashlight stumbled upon a little white sign set into the wall next to one of the cages. It simply read Wolfdogs – Handle with Care.

“Finally! Jesus.”

Jeremy knelt down and examined the door. It looked like a standard prison-style affair; solid steel bars, lock set in the door, and absolutely, utterly impossible to break down. He frowned and looked back up at Geoff.

“Do we have any lockpicks?”

“We should...” Geoff patted down his pockets and spun around in place. “Shit…hold on…fuck…I don’t think…I brought any…shit.” He blinked down at Jeremy. “Do you have any?”

Jeremy rifled through his own pockets and pouches. Ammo, knives, flare gun, fuck, fuck, fuck. He was just about to lose it when he checked his last pouch and found his lockpicking kit. He sighed and pulled it out. “Found ‘em.”

“Thank Christ.”

He let out a breathy laugh and cracked open the kit. It took him a minute or two to get a feel for the lock, but eventually he forced the pins to turn right. There was a thunk, and the door swung open. Jeremy glanced around the inside of the little holding area, and thankfully the three wolfdogs within remained asleep. An ear twitched here, a nose wiggled there, but otherwise they stayed in their straw piles.

“We need to be quiet,” he mouthed at Geoff.

“No shit,” Geoff replied.

They stepped into the holding area and made their way to the back wall. Jeremy’s heart pounded harder and harder with every step. His hand clenched around his gun, and he expected eyes to snap open and teeth to lash his skin at any second. The fact that it still wasn’t happening didn’t help at all.

When they reached the back wall, Jeremy felt along it for any sort of door or outline or whatever. His fingers happened upon a cool metal latch. He fumbled with it for a few seconds, slid it back, and pushed. An entire chunk of wall opened out onto a grassy patch, and cool air rushed into the room. Jeremy breathed in deep and let himself relax a micrometer.

That relaxation went straight out the window when hay rustled behind him, and he turned to see three wolfdogs rushing them. Geoff let out a high strangled noise and fumbled with his gun, but the beasts ignored him in favor of the open air. They loped past the two criminals and disappeared into the enclosure.

“Jesus Christ…I thought…I thought that was it for us,” said Geoff. He let his gun fall to his side and bent over to pant. “We…we need to find Ryan…now.”

“Why do you think we’re here, Geoff?” asked Jeremy. “I mean, that display thing was pretty damn awesome.”

“Shut…shut up.”

Jeremy smiled and moved into the enclosure. A howl sounded from across the way, followed by another, and another. He swallowed and flicked his light around. Nothing around him but grass and trees. Another howl rang out, louder this time. Wind swept around him and rustled the leaves on the trees. A howl mixed in with the wind and drifted closer and closer.

Jeremy decided to risk it. He cupped his hands around his mouth and took a deep breath.

“Ryan! You here, pal? It’s us! We’re here to rescue you!”

“The fuck are you doing?” Geoff’s hand landed on his shoulder and squeezed hard. “They’re gonna fucking kill us, dude!”

“I want to get out of here as quickly as fucking possible, and this is the only way to do it! Unless you brought fucking night vision goggles!”

A snarl sounded from behind them and they both froze. Ghostly green eyes flickered to life in the flashlight’s glow and shifted back into shadow. A cloud shifted, and moonlight dappled several furry bodies. Geoff cocked his pistol and whipped it around. Jeremy’s fingers clenched around the silencer on the end of his own and scrambled to unscrew it. It would definitely blow their cover, but maybe the noise of the gunshot would-

Something hit Jeremy right in the back and knocked him to the ground. Geoff shouted, and yips echoed from around them. Hot breath panted over the back of his neck, and Jeremy was sure this was it. He closed his eyes and braced himself. Paws bounced off his back, and a tongue lapped at his neck. His thighs shook back and forth in time with the wolfdog’s entire lower body.

“I’ll be goddamned,” said Geoff. He suddenly laughed, loud and long and maniacal. “I’ve missed your dumb face, Ryan.”

“Ryan?” Jeremy lifted his head and immediately felt himself being forced back down. “Buddy, I’m glad to see you too, but can you please get off me?” The weight immediately shifted, and a huge blue-eyed skull jammed itself into his face, quickly accompanied by a wet tongue on his cheeks. Jeremy grinned and sunk his fingers into that lovely thick ruff of fur around his neck.

“The fuck am I, chopped liver?” Geoff walked over and patted Ryan’s rump. The wolfdog turned and put his paws on his chest. His tail wagged and hit Jeremy in the face five or six times. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it like that!”

“I was about to say, he likes chopped liver, doesn’t he?” Jeremy pushed himself back to his feet and wiped his face on his sleeve. “Fuck, I don’t think there’s any sort of food he doesn’t like.”

“That’s too fucking true,” said Geoff. Ryan tilted his head and grinned up at him. “Seriously, you’re going to be a fat little fucker one day.”

A growl rattled through the air and wiped the smiles right off their faces. Ryan’s good ear flicked and flattened against his head. He snarled back and whirled around. His salt and pepper fur stood on end and his tail whipped back and forth, left-right-left-right-left.

“Oh no, I’m not going through this shit with you again, asshole!” Geoff tried to grab his collar, only to discover it had since been removed. “Fuck.”

Jeremy remembered what he’d tried to do before and finished removing his silencer. “Gavin, where are all the guards at right now?” he asked.

“Uh, well, there’s about four or five of them, all told, and most of them aren’t terribly near your position. They’re a little unsettled, though, because of the guard you killed. Whatever you’re doing, you need to hurry up!”

“I’m, uh, I’m asking because I’m totally going to blow our cover, so you should probably…uh…what’s that thing you say? ‘Leg it’?”

“Oh no,” said Jack.

“Yeah, you should be ready too, Jack.”

Ryan lolled back on his paws and snarled again. Just when he was about to lunge, Jeremy aimed the gun up at the sky and fired. The shot echoed through the empty zoo, and a frantic scurrying replaced the growling. Both Gavin and Jack yelled in Jeremy’s earpiece, but he ignored them in favor of pushing Geoff back toward the holding pen. Ryan gave Jeremy a withering look.

“Sorry, pal, we don’t have time for your wolf dick measuring.”

Ryan huffed, but followed after them without further fuss. Jeremy broke into a jog and hurried after Geoff. The wolfdog lagged behind him and occasionally let out a growl. A howl echoed behind them. Jeremy fired his gun up in the air again. Another bang rang through the empty air, followed by the sounds of all sorts of panicking animals. It spread through the zoo like wildfire, and the silent night air filled with howls, barks, growls, screeches, screams and roars.

“The guards are moving toward your position now, and…” Gavin trailed off for a few moments too long. “…oh, bugger my arse, I think one of them’s radioed the police.”

“Shit shit shit shit shit!” Jeremy ducked into the holding area and sprinted down the hall. More animals yammered around them, but thankfully their cages were still shut, so all they could do was cry out. Ryan stopped by a few of the cages and snuffled through the bars, but quickly followed when Jeremy pulled ahead of them.

Geoff waited for them by the exit. He nodded as soon as Jeremy approached and shoved the door open.

“Gav, you pull out and get back to Jack! We’ll be there as soon as we can!”

“Don’t need to tell me twice!”

Ryan sped out in front of them, his tail held high. His tongue flopped out of his mouth, and he almost seemed to dance down the stone path. It was a sight Jeremy had sorely missed, and it took some of the edges off the stone in his stomach.

Something he missed significantly less was the sight of flashlights approaching them, and, in the distance, still incredibly faint but growing louder by the second, the sound of police sirens. Geoff swore and held his gun up.

“Jack, you better be ready to fucking move, okay?”

“Already on it.”

“Gavin, what about you?”

“I’m wiping the feeds right now. Should be done in a few minutes…”

“Gavin, you need to get out of there now!”

“Just a minute!”

“We don’t have a fucking minute! When I say you need to go now, you need to go right fucking now!”

“Wait! Wait! Hold on! We forgot something!” Jeremy turned tail and sprinted back a few yards. He scooped up the handpainted Introducing the Reaper display, hoisted it over his shoulder with one hand and readied his gun with the other. “Okay, got it. Ready to go now.”

“Jeremy, what the Christ are you doing? You have to – ”

Gavin’s reply was lost when the first of the guards rounded the corner and surprised them. Jeremy leveled his gun at him, but Ryan was much faster. He leaped and hit the guard dead on, and had his throat between his teeth by the time he hit the pavement. Blood spurted from between his powerful jaws, and the guard’s shriek was lost to the crunch of bone and flesh. In moments, he’d moved on and they were able to keep going.

“It’s so fucking good to have you back, Rye,” said Geoff.

Ryan let out a little boof that was presumably in agreement.

They made it through the rest of the zoo in five minutes flat, though both Geoff and Jeremy panted and puffed like bellows and sweat profusely beneath their armor. Ryan reared up and pushed the door open with both paws, swayed through and was down the hallway before Geoff and Jeremy were even close. Shrieks and curses sounded over their earpieces, which gave them a pretty clear picture on what was happening with Gavin. They pushed themselves faster, breath heaving in and out of their chests, and made it back to the security room. Another dead security guard lay in the doorway, and when Jeremy poked his head around the corner, a bullet nicked his cheek and embedded in the wall behind him. He let out a little squeal and ducked down. The display slipped over his front and thudded solidly on the ground.

“Don’t you come any closer, you…oh…Ryan! Ryan, you’re back! Lovely Ryan!”

“Gavin, did you just shoot at us?!”

Geoff pushed his way into the room and kicked the swivel chair out of the way. Gavin sat in the miniscule space under the desk. He cooed at Ryan and smushed his cheeks, speech devolving quickly into British babytalk. Ryan’s tongue lapped at his cheeks, though he did occasionally shift in place and glance up at Geoff.

After several seconds of infantile praises, Geoff kicked Gavin in the knee. He squawked and looked up at them, hand up in surrender. He blinked several times. “Oh. Hi, Geoff.”

“C’mon, idiot, before I leave you for the fucking cops!” He hauled Gavin up by the collar and shoved him into the hallway. “Who knows, maybe I’ll even forget that you tried to blow Jeremy’s head off!”

“What? No, I’d never-”

“Well, you did! Now shut the fuck up and keep moving, or I swear I’ll handcuff you to a pipe my-goddamn-self.”

Gavin opened his mouth to argue, thought better of it, and took off down the hallway. Geoff growled something under his breath and moved to follow him. Jeremy toddled after him, the display scraping on the ground in his wake, the closeness and utter stupidity of his recent brush with death dancing in front of his eyes. Ryan stayed close this time, bumping the back of his legs to keep him moving and occasionally giving his hand a nuzzle.

A breeze cooled the sweat on his skin and snapped Jeremy out of his near-death funk. He shook his head, hoisted his gun and followed Geoff and Gavin to the waiting Kuruma. Already a veritable disco of red and blue lights danced across the zoo walls, and shouting echoed across the way. All four doors popped open, and Jack waved frantically from the driver’s seat. They ran in a little cluster and jumped as one amorphous being into the back of the suddenly very small Kuruma. Jeremy’s cheek squished into the opposite door and the weight of all the crew was focused right on his legs, and they didn’t like that at all. The wolfdog display jammed itself into several pockets of flesh, and only dug in harder with every movement they made. Jack starting the car and zooming through the grass definitely didn’t help the situation.

“Ow, ow, ow! Get the fuck off me! You’re crushing my fucking legs!”

“I’m on you?! How about you get your fucking feet off my dick?!”

“Christ alive, I’m gonna suffocate by the time you nobheads stop arguing! Just…just move!”

While they argued, Ryan wiggled out of the pile of flesh and crawled over the center console. He sniffed the new car thoroughly, turned in the passenger seat a few times, and nosed the Kuruma’s tiny window slit. Jack reached over and patted Ryan’s neck.

“Sorry, Ryan, these windows don’t roll down. You’ll get plenty of fresh air and car rides when we get back to Los Santos.”

Lights flashed across the windshield, followed by a hail of bullets. Jack grit his teeth and pushed the gas pedal down to the floor. The Kuruma shot over the curb and slammed right into a parked cop car. Blood burst across the windshield, glass and bone alike smashed, but the car pushed through the wreckage and sped onto the highway. Jack flipped on the wipers and spent a few quiet moments spraying the windshield and running the wipers until the bloodstain was more manageable. Ryan growled and closely watched the window.

The mess in the backseat finally sorted itself out when Jeremy wrapped his arms around the passenger seat’s headrest and pulled himself free. With him free, Geoff was able to push Gavin into the middle seat and rammed his face into the window.

“Shit, we’ve got company coming, and fucking fast, too. Do we have any guns on this thing?”

“It’s a Kuruma, not a fucking tank!” The car screamed around the corner and smashed into another barricade. “The best we can do is shoot back!”

“From where?!”

“The fucking…I don’t know…holes in the armor! Fucking shoot through that!”

Jeremy and Geoff squirmed around in the seats and wedged the muzzle of his gun through one of the slits in the window. It took some doing, but eventually he got the hang of the awkward angle and was able to pop a few tires here and there. Gavin did his best to worm his way into the passenger seat, but ended up laying on the center console, upper half largely balanced on Ryan’s back. His shots careened wildly around the street and hit about half of their intended targets. He screeched and shouted while Ryan grumbled and yipped beneath him.

“So, uh, what’s the plan, Geoff?” Jack’s voice was deceptively calm considering the speed at which he was driving and the amount of chunkified cop sticking to the windshield. “How exactly are we supposed to get back to Los Santos?”

“First, we need to get back to the beach, and then the B-Team’ll take care of the rest! Now, go!”

Jack nodded and shot down the highway. Sirens screamed around them, and occasionally Ryan howled along with them. Bullets rang off the Kuruma’s armor, and Geoff said about twelve times a minute how much they all needed one. Unfortunately, Jeremy had run low on bullets, Gavin was already out, and Geoff had exactly one bullet left in his gun. Signs for the beach claimed it was only ten miles away, which, if Jack continued at his current speed, meant they only needed a few more minutes. Still, that was a few minutes with no defenses growing increasingly more surrounded by cops. They hunkered down behind the doors and prepared themselves for the worst.

The Kuruma crashed through a set of wooden benches and picnic tables and skidded through the sand. Clouds of dust and grit drifted up in their wake, and Jeremy had to brace himself against the door to stop himself from rattling around like a marble in a can.

“Geoff, what the fuck’s supposed to happen now?!”

Geoff sat up, hit his head on the roof of the car, put his fingers to his ear and said, “B-Team, where the fuck are you!?”

“I see you, I see you!” Trevor’s voice suddenly crackled over their earpieces. “We’re working on getting this thing down, I promise!”

A great wall of glistening brownish-gray rock erupted in the distance, and an equally menacing wall of cops sprouted up behind the Kuruma. Time had run out; they would either smash into the rocks and die, or get surrounded by cops and die. Jeremy squeezed his eyes shut and huddled down in the seat.

Suddenly, the juddering sound of a helicopter’s rotors filled their ears. A moment later, the car’s back end lifted up off the ground with a metallic CLANG! Jeremy nearly fell in the floorboard when the Kuruma’s front lifted off the ground and the car swung back and forward. He pulled himself up and squinted out the slit in the window. He couldn’t quite get the angle necessary to see everything, but he could see the shadow of the cargobob splayed across the sand.

“We’ve got you, boss! Next stop, Los Santos!”

“Did we do it? Did we make it?” asked Geoff.

Nobody responded for a minute. As the cargobob continued to ascend and turned toward the ocean, it finally sank in. Jeremy let out a cheer, Geoff yelled and clapped his hands, Gavin warbled loudly and Jack sighed and let his head rest against the steering wheel. Ryan huffed a few times and finally let out a loud howl. Jeremy reached forward and ruffled his ears. Gavin hugged the pup and buried his face in his fur. Jack reached over and found an open patch of fur to pat. Geoff sagged back into the leather seat and let his head flop back onto the headrest.

“God, I’m so glad you’re okay, Ry-Bread,” said Jeremy.

“We’re going home now, bud. We’re going home,” said Jack.

Ryan’s eyes drifted shut. His tongue dribbled on the floorboard with every pant leaving his muzzle. His tail did its best to wag beneath the weight of two men.

Geoff sighed and sprawled over the back seat. He blinked several times and cleared his throat. “Uh…Jeremy?”

“What?”

“Did…did you actually steal that fucking Reaper display?!”

“Yeah, dude! It’s cool!”

They were quiet for a moment. Then Geoff snorted and let out a laugh. In between breaths he managed to say, “Do you…did you…all that time…we were running…you had that fucking thing?! Are you fucking serious? Jeremy…Jeremy you stupid bastard!”

“Look, I made it out okay, didn’t I? And I got the thing, didn’t I?”

“Jesus Christ.” Jack shook his head. “You really are one of us.”

Geoff clapped Jeremy’s shoulder and got himself back under control. “Yep. That’s the sort of dumb shit this crew stands for. You’ll fit in just fine with the rest of these idiots.”

“Yeah, you’re perfect, Li’l J!” said Gavin. “Michael thinks so, too.”

“God, what’s he gonna think of all this when he wakes up?”

“He’s gonna be a pisspot ‘cause he missed the heist, but after he calms down, he’ll be right impressed,” said Gavin.

“I hope Caleb’s ready,” said Geoff, “because he’s in for one hell of a shitshow.”

“At least for us the shitshow’s over,” said Jack.

“Damn right.” Geoff sank back into the seat and sighed. “We’re going to have a fucking vacation after this. B-Team and the other fuckers can handle operations for the time being. Right now, all I see in my future is video games and fucking Jack Daniels.”

That, for the time being, was the last word on the matter. The lateness of the hour and exertion sank deep into Jeremy’s muscles as the adrenaline ebbed. He settled back into the seat and shut his eyes. His shins bumped up against the display and he let out a little giggle. Maybe he’d hang it on Ryan’s door. A little homage to this whole adventure. Or maybe it would go above the fireplace, like any good trophy should. He’d decide later.

For now, he finally felt the contentment that came from a job well done.