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mindswriters · 4 years ago

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Family Meeting - jj maybank × reader {one shot}

Summary: for the first time you decide to take your pogue boyfriend at your family's annual meeting, and let's say that your relatives didn't have the best reactions in the world.

Pairing: jj maybank × kook!reader

Warnings: language, underage drinking, mentions of hook ups?, "drunk" driving [IF YOU DRINK DON'T DRIVE]

Word count: 3.3K (is this big? idk)

A/N: hell yeah, i'm a shitty writer. Y/f/n means "your full name" btw

not my gif, credits to the owner ;)

****

Your surname is pretty infamous at the Outer Banks, your dad owns one of the biggest parts of Tannyhill, what makes you full kook. That's why you always lived in that shitty bubble wrap, you understand that living in the Figure 8 gave you privileges that you wouldn't have if you lived on the south side, and you hate the fact that everyone around you always pretend that everything is perfect when there are people to miles from there surviving from water and bread. But, as a blessing, a while ago your friend Sarah Cameron started dating John B, a Pogue guy who worked for the Cameron's, and you also started to hang out with them, and that's where your life started. At first your parents didn't liked your "new life", but they also did nothing to stop you (probably because they knew you would find a way to sneak out). You found your real crew with the Pogues, they were very receptive with you, John B is really kind and fun (way better than Topper, Sarah's ex boyfriend); Kie became your third musketeer, she's smart and is always there for you; Pope is your favorite nerd eveeer, y'all would be screwed without him. And last but not least, JJ Maybank, at first you thought he was cute, at second that he was a stubborn dumbass, and third? Oh, third you've fallen in love with him.

That's what brings you here, getting dressed for the Y/l/n's annual meeting at the Country Club, while JJ, your actual boyfriend is sitting on your bed with a messy hair and a clumsy suit. This meeting is nothing but a bullshit that your parents "require" you to go every year, you actually don't like it a lot, but today you are especially excited, you can't wait to see all your old aunts and envious cousins staring at you, when you arrive holding hands with your Pogue boyfriend. The most handsome Pogue of this island.

"Hey, J, which one is better, this one or this one?" you asked showing him your hands, each one holding a different pair of earrings.

"Hmm, this one." he pointed to your left hand with a smirk after carefully observed both the jewels.

You whispered a "thanks" and turned back to the mirror, putting the bright jewels on your ears. You were giving a last check on your marine blue dress, when you heard a knock at your half opened door.

"We're waiting for you kids." your dad tried to disguise the complain with a smirk.

"Sorry for the delay, dad, you know how long it takes for me to get ready." you pouted leaning on the door "But you and mom can go ahead, JJ and I will go with my car in a little while." you looked at your boyfriend and smiled when he waved to your father.

"You sure?" you quickly nodded "Okay then, see you there." the gray haired man sighed and went down the stairs.

"Thank you, daddy." you murmured but he definitely didn't listened.

"Can you just don't call him daddy when I'm around? It's kinda awkward." he slyly said when stood up from your bed.

You giggled rolling your eyes and walked towards him, looking up to stare his blue eyes "I never thought I would live to see JJ Maybank wearing a suit." you joked.

He just looked away and gave a shy laugh, while you delicately straightened his tie and collar. As much as you are excited, you don't see the same in JJ's expression, let's say he is not extremely comfortable in the middle of the Lion's den, as the Pogues call places with many Kooks.

"Come on babe, spit it out, what's wrong?" you ask kindly wrapping arms around his neck.

He shook his head hesitating to speak, but only with your gaze he eventually convinced himself that you wouldn't let it go unnoticed.

"Are you sure you want me to go? I mean, it's a family thing and-" he was about to vent put you stopped him.

"You are part of my family, JJ." you smiled placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Say it to your father, at this time he must be bad-mouthing me for the rest of your family." he complained snorting.

"So what?" you intertwined each other's fingers on both hands "Look, JJ, I don't care about what my father thinks and says about you, I just want to show up there holding your hand and telling everyone that you are the guy by whom I fell in love, and fuck what those idiots will think! It'll always be you." you sighed relieved after you vent all that was in your throat.

"Wow, unexpected PDA from my little girl uh?" you felt the heat blushing your cheeks, but he immediately filled your face with plenty kisses.

"I meant it, J, I meant it!" you both laughed when you tried to escape from his lips "Let's just go there and enjoy us, eat those weird foods, drink expensive drinks and if it gets too boring we can leave, okay?"

"Fine, fine, I'll go." he rolled his eyes pretending to be angry with you.

You held the boy's cheeks joining his lips lovingly and jumped up to the chair where your purse was hanging.

"I can't wait to see the faces of my envious cousins when they see me coming with the hottest guy on the Outer Banks." you sent a wink and asked him to follow you downstairs.

You drove all the way to the Country Club and when you got there you already saw all the chic decor and the other cars that were in the parking lot. JJ seemed to be nervous again, dangling his legs and biting his nails, but holding your hand before entering the party was what helped him to be calm. As soon as you took the first step, you were surrounded by the looks of everyone, some from close relatives who looked disappointed, and others from people you didn't even know were family members. Soon in the entrance hall you met your parents, talking to one of your aunts, when you were a child you gave her a loving nickname, auntie witchie.

"Hi dad, hi mom! I didn't know that half of Outer Banks was now our family." you teased kissing your parents cheeks.

"Less, Y/n." your father whispered discretely.

"Oh, Auntie Mary! How long I haven't seen you!" you greeted your aunt with an exaggerated (and false) smile.

The lady returned the smile but soon frowned as she spotted the messy blonde hair right behind you, even in a suit JJ was still clearly a Pogue.

"Let me introduce you, this is JJ, my boyfriend!" the boy politely kissed the top of your aunt's hand "I don't think you will need to worry about my relationships anymore."

You smiled confidently exchanging looks at the boy as your aunt seemed to analyze and judge every inch of him with a disgust feature. She looked at your parents and they just sighed and shrug.

"Y/n, darling, can I talk to you for a second?" you nodded in response and your aunt pulled you 2 steps to the side, which did not help from anything if she wanted a conversation reserved.

"What happened?" you asked as if you didn't knew what was coming.

"Is this boy really your boyfriend?" you nodded again, always smiling "And is he a-"

"A Pogue? Yes, he is a Pogue." you cut her even before she could finish the question "Any problem?"

"No, dear, but I mean, don't you think you should look some more? I don't know, someone here in Figure 8, with a good surname, I always thought that you would make a beautiful couple with the Cameron's prodigal son." you sighed thinking about a polite answer for the lady.

"I'm sorry, auntie, but you are completely wrong. I don't need to look anymore, JJ is definitely my lobster." you smiled leaving her confused with your words.

You turned your back politely and pulled JJ by the hand, with the intention of literally walking with him around the room and telling as many people as possible that this handsome blonde, mop headed Pogue is your boyfriend. While walking around the space you drank a few drinks, teased some people and received many, many looks of judgment. In addition to some cousins of yours commenting things like "I heard he was that crazy guy who shouted a gun at the Boneyard". But you couldn't care less, even more after some doses of alcohol.

"I need to go to the bathroom, stay here, it'll only take a sec." you gave a kiss on JJ's cheek before leaving him near the bar counter.

You were on your way back from the bathrooms when bumped into someone. It was Amber, she is your cousin, but you two didn't always get along. One time when you were 7, she threw your plush turtle in the pool and as revenge you stuck chewing gum in her hair. There was also the time when you were in 8th grade and she told your mom that you and Sarah went to Topper's house at night to drink vodka with powdered juice. Well, after that you have distanced and now when you meet by chance you pretend to like each other.

"I'm sorry!" she said with that annoying voice "Oh my God, Y/n, is that you?"

"Yes, cousin, it's me!" you smiled pretending to be excited.

"Look at you! You mean you have boobs now?" yeah, and my boyfriend loves them! okay, that's what you thought, in fact you just smirked raising eyebrows.

"Yeah, I think so. But you remain the same! Just with a little more chemical in the hair." you teased in the same mocking tone of her.

"Y/n/n, always so funny." she let a fake laugh and looked away "Damn, since when did the waiters from the Cut get so hot?"

You turned around and soon realized that she was talking about JJ, who was still leaning against the counter. As much as you were a little jealous for hearing her call your boyfriend hot right in your face, you were also proud to be able to tell her that he is already yours.

"Oh, actually he's not a waiter, he's my boyfriend." you smiled confident biting your own lip.

"Shit, don't mock me Y/n, you and that guy?" she laughed trying to disguise the wide eyes, Amber always made a point of telling that you were too ugly to get a boyfriend.

"Yep, me and that guy." from a distance JJ realized you were staring and then waved at you, who responded with your most proud smile.

"Ugh, I can't really understand what you and Sarah see in those Pogues, they're disgusting." funny to see how she changed her mind just in a few seconds.

"Let's say they're like that song."

"Song? What song?" she asked confused moving her gaze to you.

"You know, harder, better, faster, stronger, oh and add 'bigger'." you slowly said containing your laughter by biting the inside of your cheek.

She stared at you with a shooked look, and speechless. You must admit that the situation was quite satisfactory, seeing your dear cousin unresponsive on learning that you are not the ugly duckling as she always liked to say. You couldn't help but let out a little laugh, and then you excused yourself to return to your boy's arms.

"Who was that?" he asked when you leaned beside him on the counter.

"It's my cousin Amber, I hate her." he giggled and you fake smiled looking over your shoulder to see the fake blonde girl staring at you two.

"So what were you talking about?" he fixed your hair behind your ear gazing you.

"Nothing much, I was just telling her how is to be dating a 'dirty Pogue'..." you teased bending to whisper on his ear.

"Dirty Pogue, huh? And how is it like?" he frowned with a mischievous smirk.

"Well, it can be so many things, and I would risk to say that "dirty" is one of them." you smiled biting you lower lip with your eyes fixated on his blue ones.

JJ smiled back and moved his gaze to your lips, quickly kissing them and moving his wet lips to your cheeks, until reach the sweet spot behind your ear. Fuck, this is pretty good but let's say that the middle of your family meeting isn't the right place for you guys do it.

"J, stop, not right now." you giggled raising your eyebrows and softly pushing him away.

"Why not?" he pouted with puppy eyes.

"Because all my family is seeing us?" you used an obvious tone, 'cause it was obvious.

"Maybe we could sneak out?" you narrowed your eyes thinking about his proposal.

"Soon, first we'll show that people how we move on the Cut." you answered when heard one of your favorite songs playing outside.

You dragged your boyfriend by the hand until you reach the middle of the dance floor, at first he was kinda shy, but being with you makes him feel more comfortable, and as soon you both were already moving your bodies like no one was around. Laughing, drinking and kissing, you were stealing the show, this until you feel someone tap your shoulder and when you turned, you faced a man who was probably the photographer, since he held a professional camera in his hands.

"Excuse me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?" he asked politely.

"Yes, why?" you frowned holding JJ behind you.

"Oh, they're looking for you to take the annual family picture, can you follow me, please?" he pointed to the entrance hall.

"Ah sure, come on baby." you nodded bringing JJ with you.

When you reached the hall everyone of your family was there posing and waiting for you, soon you found your parents on the left side and before joining them, you stopped to straight your hair and JJ's bow tie. When you had just finished fixing his suit, your dad stopped you by your shoulders.

"Y/n, sweetie, I know JJ is important to you, but I think it's best that he doesn't appear with you in the official photos." you frowned when your dad moved his gaze to the blonde right behind you.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" you snapped with a bit angry tone.

"It's nothing personal, honey, it's just 'cause you know, you’re still young and he’s just your boyfriend, we don’t know if it will last long." your father said making you chuckle shooking your head, that's unbelievable.

"Nothing personal, right? So why can Andrew's girlfriend appear in this stupid picture and JJ cannot?" you stormed pointing to your cousin and his girlfriend already posing to the camera.

"Y/n please, don't make a scene." you dad sighed when noticed that everyone looked at you.

"Is because he's a Pogue, isn't it?" you asked with anger burning your face.

"Y/n it's okay, it's just a photo." JJ tried to calm you down and leave it, but you didn't listen.

"You see, sweetie, it's not a big deal." and you're also sick of your dad pretending that everything is perfect.

"You know what? You guys can keep with this Kook bullshit and take this fucking picture, but I will not be part of it." you said confidently causing JJ to giggle behind you and your father give you a pissed gaze.

"What the hell you think you're doing, young lady?" your dad murmured holding your arm carefully.

"I'm throwing off my chains." you stepped back confronting him.

"Y/n, darling, stop it! You're embarrassing me and your father!" your mom shout out when she noticed that you were about to leave.

"Whatever! I'm already the family’s shame!" you shouted taking a few steps back until reaching JJ, who have a proud look in his face.

"Y/f/n! Come back here! You can't do it!" Y/m/n shouted one more time.

"Yeah, but I'm already doing." with a twist on your own feet you answered back while stealing a drink from the waiter's tray that passed by.

At this time everyone is looking at you with wide eyes, your parents flushing in anger and JJ, oh JJ is paralyzed with a huge smile on his face, he's so proud of seeing his badass girlfriend facing everyone to defend him. This was something you wanted to do a long time ago, and a family meeting seemed like the perfect time for you to throw everything up in the air. And that is what you did.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" you stopped making exaggerated expressions "Auntie Mary! You should find your own husband before give hunches on my boyfriends!" you said with a soft tone pointing to your old single aunt standing a few meters from you.

"Y/d/n, you should fix your daughter!" she yelled angry.

"And Amber!" the fake blonde jumped when she heard her name "Cousin, you should try to hook up with a Pogue anytime, they're so fucking hot!" you smiled biting your tongue and looked to JJ, who let out a big laugh and soon disguised because of your father's gaze to him.

Everyone was staring at you and your parents with jaw dropping, you always showed some personality differences compared to the rest of the family, but no one ever imagined you were that bold. Okay, the drinks helped you do that, but they say that when a person gets drunk is when she shows who she really is. And this is you for real. While hearing comments like "How absurd" or "This is a shame", you poured your entire drink in a single sip and dropped the glass on the floor, hurrying to leave that shit party.

"Come on, blondie, are you with me or what?" you raised your eyebrows calling JJ to follow you. He looked at your parents and they gave a serious look to him. But he didn't care right now.

"Sorry, Mr and Mrs Y/l/n," he laughed stepping backwards "your daughter is crazy!"

He shouted shooking his head and turning around to run towards you. You both laughed and you waited for him to embrace you at the big front door, you explicit kissed and left everyone behind, running hand in hand until you reached the parking lot. Inside of your car you two waited for the laughter to lose their strength to catch your breath.

"Oh my God this was insane!" you smiled heavy breathing and looking at the blonde on your passenger seat.

"My girl is a huge badass!" he pulled you for another kiss, this time it was longer and full of proud and desire.

"Okay, your place or the Chateau?" he said breathlessly, pulling away and looking at you.

"Definitely the Chateau. And hope John B isn't home." you gave a nasty smile and started your car.

You're gonna be dead when you see your parents again, but it's fine, still worth it.

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fart-gate · 5 years ago

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SG1

Season 2 episode 21

"1969"

Or in other words

"N I C E"

Notes by me

- confirmed that when sam talks science the other three just tune out

-P2X555

- they made a big deal of showing us her cut hand so I feel like it has significance

- oh no. Is the note his resignation or something pls say no I dont want hammond to leave

- they are back in the gate room?

- dont u hate it when u look up and realize you're underneath rocket boosters

- them running around yelling and tealc just fuckin shoots it

- the note syas George. George mcfly?

- Daniel so excited about time travel

- *stoner voice* dont mess with the time travel man its bad juju

- soldier, in russian: "are you Russian spies?"

Daniel, also in russian: "no"

Jack:

- is the close up of the guy smoking a ciggerent really necessary

- this is bothering me I'm bothered! Jack told the guy his name was Kirk and the guy didnt act like he knew what star trek was but the original series came out in the 60s???? Unless he lives under a rock

- "what sort of weapon did you use?"

"Well its hard to say"

"You mean its a state secret?"

"No its just difficult to pronounce"

- does hammond know they went back in time

- "theyre on their own" OH he knows

- sam: we are doomed

Jack: or?

Sam: there is no or

Jack: there's an or

Daniel: theres an or?

Jack: THERES ALWAYS AN OR

- "where theres a will.....THERES AN OR"

- A young hammond!!

- he acts exactly like him

- time travel man. Best trope in the book

- Obsessed with how he just takes their word for it that they're from the future. His life is just so boring he'll believe anything to make it exciting I guess

- young hammond said they still have jacks ray gun? What ray gun

- Jack omg ask before you shoot ppl. I'm sure if u asked him hammond would gladly be unconcious so as not to arouse suspicion

- so the 'something to happen' that they are waiting for is on the 10th or 11th. That means they are gonna spend like 6 days in the 60s lol

- Sam is the one to thumb bc she is a woman and the most likely to get picked up by a passing car I suppose

- "I speak 23 different languages. pick one"

- GOOD god tealc pls the racism is much worse right now, dont just jump out in traffic. Jack panicked for good reason

- these hippies....... Are so baked

- "whats your thing mean? Peace?"

"Slavery to false gods"

" right on!"

- they really put sg1 in 60s clothes. Bless the stargate gods.

- TEALCS HAIR okay but who took him inside a wig store and made him try on a bunch of hair

- there was a split second clip of them coming out of a store and tealc was waiting outside. My monkey brain says Bodyguard!tealc but my rational brain says racism

- Jack seems the only one with normal clothes. Daniel looks like he talks with a nasally voice. Sam looks like a mom. Tealc looks like he goes to discos on the weekends. Jack is like....in a t shirt

- lay low they said. It'll be easy they said.

- hammond asked her to do the research bc he knew it was gonna happen✨ my boy is SMART

- when they are talking about how theyre aliens and tealc is like...i am an alien

- oh god theyre so nice 😭

- daniels bad german accent should be illegal

- wait katherine??? Oh my gooodddd she has the necklace!!! Its my favorite series relic!!!

- how did she not recognize Daniel in the future. Its not like hes wearing a fake mustache

- felt like i got punched in the face when she said her boyfriend got drafted :(

- I want nothing but happiness for these van hippies I'm soft

- when they pull the bolts and the walls fall off revealing the gate ✊😭 modern art

- this whole plan has like a 50/50 chance of working. What are we waiting for

- I think jacks specialty in this show is falling out of the gate

- I thought this old lady was a ghost for a hot sec

- CASSIE???

- A HAND HELD DHD!!!! THEY FINALLY LISTENED TO ME

- "youre journey is just beginning" I should think so! Theres like 8 seasons left

- theyve been gone for like a week and then come back thru the gate wearing hippie outfits. Wheres the sitcom about the back round characters who just see them leave and come back

- hammond almost didnt let them go bc he didnt know if they made it back or not 😫😫💗💗💗💗💞💞

- jack: that was close we almost got stuck in the 60s

Hammond:

Jack Oniell whump: smacked in the face with butt of gun

Team sg1: gunpoint , kneeling

🎶listening to Summer Of '69 by Brian Adams 🎶 for obvious reasons

#stargate season 2 #did they leave jacks ray gun in the past. they didnt elaborate on that so i think they left it.#jack whump season 2

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Joe & Ronnie

Joe: [St Patrick's Day 2016] Joe: Ron Joe: Come back, I ain't going 'til tomorrow Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: go now what the fuck does it matter Joe: It matters to me Joe: every fucking second away does and I don't care if you know it Ronnie: then dont Joe: I missed Christmas, they don't care that I bullshitted I had the flu Joe: had to do everything to stop them flying over to get me, and it was my sister's 16th so they're all on one about how long it's been Ronnie: and I dont care if they believe your bullshit or not Ronnie: I care that youre a useless cunt Ronnie: I care that youre being a fucking pussy Joe: I know you do Joe: I'm sorry or I didn't ask you to, the end result is the same 'cos I can't fucking not go, s'been months, any longer they will do something about it and fuck that Ronnie: get out of my fucking face mckenna Ronnie: youre not worth shit to me like this Joe: I don't want to and you didn't want me to five seconds 'fore you slammed the door in my face so Ronnie: give a shit what you want Ronnie: grow a pair while youre there or dont bother coming back like Joe: that's what you want, yeah? Ronnie: like you care Ronnie: go ask your ma what she wants Ronnie: or your sister Ronnie: shes legal to fuck now what do you need me for Joe: I want to make you happy, not them Ronnie: I told you what to fucking do Joe: I reckon I've got a better idea Ronnie: are you gonna say it Joe: come with me Ronnie: thats not funny Joe: I'm not trying to be Ronnie: it better be a fucking joke Joe: why not? Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you know every reason why not Joe: so it wouldn't make you even a bit happy to fuck her family up Joe: say you don't care but you do enough to hate her Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: I hate you Joe: go on then, do it and I won't be able to go back Joe: then you can chuck me if you hate me so much and I'll have nothing but another bad habit Ronnie: I aint the kind of sister to fight your battles for you Joe: now who's being pussy Joe: I'm ready to do it Joe: tell them everything Joe: show 'em Joe: what's the issue Ronnie: still you Ronnie: thats the issue Ronnie: you think you want it til I start it Joe: Name one thing you've started that I ain't wanted Ronnie: there aint a name for this Ronnie: you dont get it Ronnie: and youre not ready for it Joe: fuck that Joe: I don't love them I love you Joe: don't get involved then, I'm trying to give you something here Joe: but if I stop going, then they'll come, and it'll just happen here Ronnie: youre trying to give yourself something Ronnie: but I aint no performing monkey and you cant put me back in my box when you start shitting yourself Ronnie: there wont be one Ronnie: there wont be fuck all left Joe: Good Joe: what about me says that I want anything Joe: there's always heroin Ronnie: you want me to get arrested then yeah Ronnie: get rid of me like that Joe: I won't let that happen Joe: I'd take the blame before it did Ronnie: youre not listening Ronnie: you wont have any control Ronnie: you dont Ronnie: not over me Joe: I don't need any Joe: I don't want to control you Joe: I want you to do exactly what you want Joe: to me, to them, to the fucking world, that's what I always want Joe: you don't have to come, I thought you wanted to, wanted this Ronnie: stop flirting with me you sick fuck Ronnie: I cant think Joe: it's gone beyond flirting Joe: you've got 'til tomorrow to think Joe: come back Joe: please Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do Ronnie: or not do Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: I'm just saying if you don't come then I'll do it on my own Joe: that's just how it is Joe: I don't wanna do it no more, go back, not be here, with you Joe: pretend, more than I have to Ronnie: like fuck are you doing it without me Ronnie: the look on her face thats mine not yours Ronnie: a life for a life Joe: then it's settled Joe: come back though, I know Charlie and Bronson have got fuck all decent in to calm you down Ronnie: theyve got fuck all of anything now like Ronnie: having it in me already is the only reason youre getting words off me instead of a boot in your face Joe: gutted Joe: just for them, before you accuse me of flirting with you again Ronnie: yeah didnt reckon youd follow through on that Joe: if you'd come home I could give you everything you want Joe: close enough that it don't matter no more Ronnie: if I make it that easy neither of us will want it Ronnie: stop fucking crying Joe: what did they have then, make me cry some more with a trip report Ronnie: nursery school shit Ronnie: talk to me about this show and tell you wanna put on Joe: so my dad owns this pub, yeah Joe: st paddy's obviously best day and night of the year for business Joe: it'll be packed Ronnie: no shit Joe: do more damage if there's a crowd to hear and see Ronnie: then what Joe: depends Joe: loads of ways you could do it Joe: it's pretty obvious on both counts what we're trying to say together Joe: leave the rest up to you Ronnie: I know what I'm gonna do Ronnie: I don't trust you to pussy out first chance you get Ronnie: not* Joe: tell me Ronnie: I dont do foreplay Ronnie: fuck alls changed that much since I walked out Joe: alright Joe: could accuse you of being a tease about it but I can wait Ronnie: all those pint glasses on offer are the tease when you know how I feel about glass Ronnie: better lover than you Joe: won't take it personal Joe: made you look this good and I get to look so Ronnie: it only matters that you do take it baby Joe: whatever you give me Joe: and obviously, all this Joe: [drug haul!] Joe: i need to be comatose with you Ronnie: you shouldve started with the offer of that threesome Ronnie: Id be back ages ago Joe: if I made it that easy.. Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: alright, come get yours Joe: hurry up Joe: she's staring at me Ronnie: Im not your bitch Ronnie: Ill be there when im done ✂🪒 Joe: you wanna give them something to remember you by? Ronnie: theyll remember Joe: you gonna bleed for me too though Ronnie: im only doing my hair Ronnie: fuck all else is as fun without an audience Ronnie: dont get excited Joe: awh, you do care Ronnie: do you want me to cut your tongue out so you dont sound as rem as you look tomorrow Ronnie: care about that Joe: ✋🤚 long as you leave all ten relatively unscathed Ronnie: gotta leave myself something Ronnie: youre a shit enough ride already Ronnie: do I sound 🍀 now Joe: exactly like my exes Joe: well about it Ronnie: dont go round saying you were a virgin Ronnie: *nt Ronnie: more embarrassing Joe: oh, reckoned part of your big show was saying you deflowered me Joe: they're gonna be horrified enough though Ronnie: theyd believe it if you wanna go that far with the show Joe: don't reckon that's your plan Joe: but an interesting one Joe: I'll 🤔 on it Ronnie: your ma dont turn me on but neither do you so Id give it a shot Ronnie: reckon youll be horny enough for all of us Joe: the shit will have worn off by then, don't remind me Ronnie: how longs the flight? Joe: hour and a half, bit under Ronnie: 💔 Joe: I know Joe: long enough that all the mile-high cliches are gonna flood right back in Joe: more of a flight risk, should let me have my drugs instead Ronnie: no batteries no sharp objects no point Joe: you're hard to please, my dear Joe: and well selective Joe: the air hostesses, less so if they're even gonna consider it Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you want me to tell 'em you're coming or element of surprise Joe: what's your poison Ronnie: long as it eats away at her I dont give a shit Ronnie: tell em Ronnie: how excited I am Joe: 👍 Joe: on it Ronnie: lay it on well thick Ronnie: make sure theyve all got the taste in their mouths Joe: I know how to breed hope Joe: look at my shining education and musical genius Ronnie: almost hot til you ruined it Joe: one day I'll get you Ronnie: chuck your empty promises at that lot Joe: not the point no more Joe: don't just need my ✋🤚 for you Joe: string for my supper 'til I choke, that's the plan 🎻💉 Joe: can put my diploma on their wall if they want but give a fuck Ronnie: use it for roll ups Ronnie: like a hotel bible Joe: you're really gonna be that hot and not be here Joe: sounds like you Ronnie: it only gets hot when you start thinking about what poison youre gonna lace the 🚬 with Joe: you ever smoked wet? Ronnie: you wanna pop my 🍒 Joe: yeah Joe: only fair Ronnie: who plays fair Joe: hallucinations, disorientation, impaired coordination, paranoia, sexual disinhibition, and visual disturbances Joe: don't play 'cos it's fair, play 'cos it's fun Ronnie: alright you got me Joe: say again Joe: I can get that over there Joe: can smoke some 'fore the show Ronnie: sexual disinhibition Ronnie: thas the show you want Ronnie: I called it Joe: sue me Joe: or worse, obviously 🔪😍 Ronnie: 💉 Ronnie: Ill play and Im leaving Ronnie: dont start todays show without me Joe: you don't have enough hair to be taking this long Ronnie: I was using a broken mirror Joe: Charlie'll be fuming Ronnie: so was I when I broke it Joe: got all the shards out? Ronnie: not my first time Ronnie: youre getting 🍒 greedy now Joe: could've distracted me from the bag with a video or something Joe: you're being selfish, alternative title Ronnie: [sends him something only theyd be into, lord knows] Ronnie: take what youre given and lick it up Ronnie: im not a fucking charity Joe: 👅 Ronnie: ill bring you a shard to put on it the fun can really start Joe: 💘 Ronnie: you can fuck off calling me selfish like Joe: I'll take it back when I feel it Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: you will Joe: you still hate me, like Ronnie: only fair baby Joe: of course Joe: what kind of sick fuck Ronnie: theyll be lining up to tell you tomorrow Joe: might be worth sticking around for Joe: shame, they would make it fun when I'm trying to leave Ronnie: the lads mustve got that memo Ronnie: nothing more fun than a street fight Ronnie: gimme a sec to knock em out Joe: playing nice better or worse than playing fair Ronnie: you tell me soft lad Ronnie: youve had it up to the back teeth Joe: definitely worse Joe: fair was never a big concern with them but less soul-destroying Ronnie: ill rip mine all out before I use em to smile nice Ronnie: playing the way anyone else wants aint a big concern Joe: 🦷🦷 more useful than 👅 Ronnie: dont cry I wont I know what you like Joe: what did I do to deserve you eh Ronnie: you dont Joe: very true Ronnie: but your fucked family deserve me and ill let you watch Joe: suits me Ronnie: yeah you get everything you want Ronnie: this aint any different Joe: got a load of shit I don't want too, that makes up for it Ronnie: not gonna watch you cry fuck joining in Joe: just be here then Ronnie: im coming Joe: shouldn't have gone in the first place Ronnie: thats your fucking fault Joe: yeah Joe: but don't leave me Ronnie: if I wanted you gone Id kill you Joe: you're so considerate Joe: any time Ronnie: you aint getting out of tomorrow Ronnie: ill strap your rotting corpse into a plane seat before I go on my fucking own Joe: I want to be there Joe: and I wouldn't make you go alone either way Ronnie: mckenna Joe: what Ronnie: dont fuck it up Joe: that's your role Joe: is there anything you actually want me to do or just watch Ronnie: stay out of my way Joe: done Ronnie: 💘

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ducknotinarow · 3 years ago

Note

Bailey hummed, little smirk twitching at the corner of his beak. It had been a while since he and Richy went on a date. Sure they were together nearly 24/7, at each other's hip and being sickenly sappy and unnecessary horny together, but it had been a while since they went out somewhere and had some fun. And Bailey, well, he was sure he had the perfect idea for them.

Approaching his husband, Bailey cooed their name, slowly walking his fingers up the outline of Richard's muscles beneath the sleeve of his shirt; so shameless. Fluttering his long eyelashes, Bailey continues to coo,

"Richyyyyy..." He softly says, "I wanna take you out on a date~"

Moving in front of them, Bailey keeps his smirk, feathers looking fluffed. The hand moves from their shoulder and to their chest, clearly feeling them up. Still humming, Bailey soon keeps talking,

"I wanna take you to Starducks."

He's quick to put a finger to Richard's beak, stopping any protest they may have,

"Ssh...lemme finish baby~" He giggles, moving his finger from their beak to cup their cheek, "I wanna take you to a Starducks, when that..." He grimaces, gaze flickering away, "Ex of yours is in..."

He slowly looks back to them, smile returning, ignoring that little falter in his seductions,

"And go cause some trouble..."

In their personal space, he wraps his arms around their neck, pressing his forehead to their own,

"Maybe we make snide comments as we pass by customers, maybe I blow you in the bathroom, maybe we feel each other up at a table, maybe I jerk that massive cock off yours off in the middle of the dining room..." He lists, chuckling more, "Maybe you slam me down on that table and fuck me hard, showing off to Vlad how not only is he missing out on the best dick, but how you upgraded to the best of the best~"

Nuzzling his beak, to theirs, Bailey continues to grin, mischievousness glowing in his hues,

"Maybe everyone finds it hot and loves the show, or, more likely, Vladdy bans us from every Starducks ever, not that that would be much of a loss," He snickers, "But, I think it'll be fun~"

He knew how much his Richy hated Starducks, and he's fairly certain his husband would be down for it all,

"What do you think? Wanna go fuck at the Starducks?"

|Muse interactions Richard had his attention focused on the news app on his phone at the moment. Just checking the weather, traffic reports for the moment in case it would affect traveling. As he was waiting for the kettle so he could make up what else? Coffee of course. When he soon losses attention to what he is doing. when he can feel Bailey's fingers start to walk thier way up along his arm. Attention drawing to follow the curve of his muscle as he lowered the phone down to meet those gorgeous eyes, as long lashes go to work and flutter his way. Whatever it was they wanted the answer was yes he soon decides to himself. Though he likely should hear them out still before just blurting out his answer to them. "Richyyyyy..." He softly says, "I wanna take you out on a date~"

A date uh? well, of course, he'll say yes to that. Has been a hot second since they did have well a date, hasn't it? Trying to recall the last one they had. As Bailey moved to stand in front of him now thier feathers seemed to look more fluffed right now as they moved thier hand from his shoulder to his chest feeling over his chest. Richard set his phone down to the counter now, they had a yes before now it was a hard yes. Not that Bailey had to butter him up, but at the same time. Richard loved getting buttered up may as well be that marshmallow Bailey called him to Bailey's hot chocolate. With how easily these touches made him melt. Happily smiling and giving Bailey more access to his chest as he set both elbows to the counter behind him. About two-second into just answering them when Bailey contained to speak. "I wanna take you to Starducks." Everything stopped, Richard's enjoyment at the attention. Liking the idea of getting out with his husband. The second they mentioned Starducks. Unimpressed right away assuming Bailey was feeling simply bratty now instead and that was why he said it. Ready to voice the fact he wasn't amused by his husband thinking they were cute just now when they reached up and placed a finger to his beak. Gussing that Richard was ready to shoot that idea down right away.

"Ssh...lemme finish baby~"

Blinking as he was kept from protesting but it did make him curious what Bailey was thinking. It was well known he hated Starducks and it was basically a rule not to have anything to do with it in his café, in or on his husband, or at home even. As Bailey went to hold his cheek in thier hand. Richard just crock up a brow, arms crossing over his chest now. No chest for the husband till they explained themself. Richard decided at least so they would be aware he wasn't liking this right now.

"I wanna take you to a Starducks, when that..." He grimaces, gaze flickering away, "Ex of yours is in..."

Richard was intrigued by the mentioned just now, when Bailey showed thier own well Richard wasn't too sure how to word how Bailey reacted just now when mentioning Richard's own ex just now. Though Richard still wasn't following. One he hated Starducks so why would he ever go into one? hell he used Bailey to take photos of the menus or scope them out for him. When He could likely look those things upline but refused to type those words onto his devices. He was sure the moment he did he would be swarmed with ads for the business.

"And go cause some trouble..."

"oh?" that got an audible response from Richard, as Bailey moved to warp thier arm around his neck. So to tug Richard to press thier forehead against thier own.

Richard solely started to smile as he was all ears about Bailey's little idea they had cooking up right now. Though to be fair the ideas of them messing around in the place help, the comment paid to his dick's size as well. Though the idea of making snide comments he had to admit has his attention the most, because well he just loved trash-talking that business and thier dumpster sludge they tried to pass off as coffee.

Though what else he was enjoying? that look of mischief that was plain as day glossing over his husband's eyes right now. The curve of thier smirk. Oh, sure he knew this expression well because often it was aimed his way when Bailey was ready to use that need to cause trouble on him. But seeing as he was not the target today he could actually enjoy it, over dread it.

"Maybe everyone finds it hot and loves the show, or, more likely, Vladdy bans us from every Starducks ever, not that that would be much of a loss," He snickers, "But, I think it'll be fun~"

Richard had to agree, sure they got banned from the clothing store he used to like, and Bailey got banned from IKEA, and only Bailey. They did fuck in a restaurant bathroom and Bailey blew him in the Target parking lot? so why not add another place to this apparent thing they had going on. And Richard would love to be banned from Starducks in truth, by Vlad himself? just to add to it? Thinking about it for a moment.

"What do you think? Wanna go fuck at the Starducks?

Tail feathers had spread out opening up as they started to fan up and down slowly. "You had me at making snide comments" he answers as he stole a kiss from his wonderfully mischievous husbands beak, speaking against it as he went to talk on "Go get the car keys I know where to go. Besides I got a drop-dead husband to layout on a table don't I?" yes Richard was implying he was going to fuck them in front of everyone that will be there.

#aflockoffeathers #madamkezzie #[mocha i wanna feel like this forever aflockoffeathers]#muse interaction #((Bailey calling him Vladdy ended me by the way XD))#((new way to ground Bailey no tiddies for you u3u))#muse| richard evans alder

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Janis & Grace

Janis: [Let us say that some boys on the bus were going hard with being dicks because duh, shit always goes down on the bus] Janis: 3 of those lads have sent me dick pics Janis: say the word, like Grace: only 3? 💔 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Not got the pull I used to, obvs Grace: yeah same Janis: Yeah Janis: well, there's comfort in knowing you're always one #scandal away from being old news at this school, yeah Grace: mhmm I'm like so comforted rn Janis: Not my forte Janis: I'll work on getting the remaining 2 dicks Janis: revenge porn, I could do Grace: 🤞💜🙏 Janis: I hope the rest of the insults you've heard today have been more creative than that poor showing at least Grace: Duh of course they haven't 🙄 Janis: Gutting Janis: should've paid more attention in English, lads Grace: [sends her some of the quality content] Grace: that'll be easier when I'm not there to be like TOTALLY distracting obvs Janis: 😑 Janis: How dry Janis: 💀 or 👻 Grace: I mean like catch them at 20 still trying to pass Grace: much as I wanna kms Janis: True that Janis: only here past junior cert to get more fingering experience Grace: ugh Janis: I know Janis: romance is dead Janis: is there anything I can actually do though? Grace: get that as a matching tattoo with barista boy? no 👌👌 Grace: idk cos idk what I can even do soooo Grace: my life is just over Janis: I'll float the idea Janis: might be a bit mainstream Janis: yeah but is that such a bad thing Janis: was pretty tragic, right? Grace: can you not Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: I'm being real Grace: & I'm not in the mood for a life revamp atm Grace: or your advice Janis: I'm not trying to be a guru either Grace: well you don't know what you're talking about so that's a relief Janis: Alright Janis: not said I do either Janis: sorry I don't, if I knew how to avoid scandals, I could sell that shit for a high price Grace: just stop Grace: I could care less that I'm #cancelled Grace: it's not even Janis: Go on then Janis: I know you aren't upset over that idiot Grace: Duh Grace: he's the WORST but I knew that already Janis: and give a shit about everyone talking shit, apparently Janis: so, what is it? Grace: it's real if I say it Janis: Is that why you're not saying anything Janis: I know it doesn't stop the talk but some people might listen Janis: what don't you want to make real? Grace: I don't want people to listen, I literally don't want anyone to know Grace: I don't even wanna know, I wish I didn't Janis: Grace Janis: what are you talking about? Grace: I'm literally the worst person, I didn't wanna have his baby & now god has like cursed me forever Janis: Babe, God is NOT a subscriber Janis: tell me Grace: if you make me 😂 I will 😭 Janis: That would make things feel more normal Janis: but I'll calm my comedy genius Janis: you haven't grown another head and I don't think our animal have been slaughtered Grace: thanks babes Grace: but I'd rather have another head than this Janis: More to contour, I get it Janis: Kinda Janis: so it must be bad Grace: Yeah Grace: like I said, my life is over Grace: it's not even started & it's done Janis: Did you want the baby Janis: I know you said not HIS but like Janis: it'd be understandable to be in two minds, even after making a decision about it Grace: not now but I didn't know that'd mean not ever Janis: What? Grace: it's not just that I wasn't pregnant this time Grace: I can't be Janis: Ever? Janis: The Doctor told you? Grace: Ever Grace: the doctor said I'm going through the fucking menopause, like is nan even?! Janis: the menopause Janis: is that even possible Janis: fuck Grace: I don't think the doctor is allowed to drop fake news on me Grace: like maybe there's another storytime coming Janis: When did you find this out? Grace: I went to the doctors right after I delivered my fake news to him Janis: Jesus, Grace Janis: How are you in School Janis: why? Grace: I told you, I don't want this to be happening Grace: I'm freaking out, the symptoms are crazy Janis: Is it just pure bad luck Janis: it can't be like..reversed Grace: there's like no way to undo it Janis: Shit Janis: I'm sorry Janis: that is huge Grace: yeah me too Grace: the pity party this fam would throw would be huge Grace: along with the guestlist of all their accidental babies Janis: and we have enough birthdays with all those accidental kids so Janis: Obviously, no need to explain why you're keeping it to yourself Grace: I can't do this Grace: be this Janis: I don't think you have a choice Janis: well, you don't Grace: is it my fault though? all the binging I used to do Grace: Ro got to have a kid Janis: Of course it ain't your fault Janis: this shit is unfair and random Grace: Yeah Janis: and it'll always be shit and unfair Janis: but you can still live your life, just different to how you've imagined Grace: I don't wanna live this life Janis: There's not an alternative Janis: but I can guarantee it's not gonna be as bad as you feel right now Grace: I was just starting to get my shit together, for god's sake Janis: I know Janis: but you still have the rest together Grace: HE'S the last boy that's ever gonna come near me, that alone makes me wanna die Janis: that's bollocks Janis: you've not got the plague Janis: socially, right now Janis: but who gives a fuck, yeah, the lads 'round here are not the be all in any way Grace: I literally live here Grace: what else am I gonna do go online and find boys who are into 👵? Janis: Boys that don't go to our school, would be a start Janis: ones that aren't likely to be fans of that prick, shouldn't be hard Janis: you're not going for 12 year olds, like Grace: I said don't make me 😂 Janis: It can't hurt Janis: except literally, maybe Grace: I've gotta get used to all the fucking aches and pains anyway ugh Janis: Any excuse for a spa day, you Grace: I'll lose your invite, don't even worry Janis: 💔😏 Janis: you should though Janis: do something that doesn't make you feel like 👵 Grace: casual infertility party Janis: not exactly what I was thinking but Janis: interesting take on the baby shower epidemic Janis: I'd come Grace: oh god don't, Rio's gonna have another one soon Janis: It'll be nice to not have to snatch it back from an OTT gay this time Janis: more chill Grace: unless I snatch it cos I go fully mental Janis: I'd recommend a less baby crazy target Grace: maybe I'll start pushing all the 🐈s around in a pram like oh hey this is my new vibe Janis: if you want your face clawed off Janis: they're pretty unsympathetic little bastards Grace: I literally didn't wanna be in this fam before what am I meant to do now?! ugh Janis: As much as it would be a laugh to ask Ri to surrogate again Janis: let's think of something a little less drastic for the time being Grace: like? Janis: like Janis: you can't disown us all, it'd take to long Janis: but you could not be around for a while Grace: 👌👌 except I have nowhere to go Grace: not trying to have a Q&A with my friends about this Janis: You're so lucky I'm the twin with brains Grace: rude Janis: what about going to see Ava for a hot sec Janis: she's not the barrage-you-with-questions type Grace: it's lowkey very unlikely her mum & dad would want me there though Janis: yeah but it's as unlikely they'll be about enough to notice you that hard Janis: everyone knows you're going through it right now, even if they don't actually know what IT really is Grace: okay yeah Grace: mum does, she'd let me go Janis: exactly, who actually gives a shit if you miss a week or so of school Janis: Ava could still go if she so desperately needs, you just need to chill Janis: away from here Grace: not me, school was the worst even before this Janis: One thing we can agree on Grace: don't like tell anyone, okay? Janis: No shit Janis: 'course I won't Grace: Even your boyfriend who you're so 💖😍😘 for & have no secrets from Janis: Even though you're being purposefully antagonizing rn Janis: I won't tell no one Grace: thanks Janis: It ain't even an ask Janis: so don't mention it Grace: 👌💜 Janis: I'll hook it up with her, no stress Grace: I'll handle mum Janis: and your packing Grace: at least I don't have to serve a look as hard when there's only 1 person there I'm avoiding as opposed to like ALL of Dublin Janis: safe to say you can give the #ootds a break too Janis: strictly loungewear, like Grace: mhmmm Janis: bit rude to avoid Ava though Janis: do I need to tell her you're getting in the guestroom and not coming out, like? Grace: oh please, I would never Janis: Who are you avoiding then? Grace: just a boy Janis: unlike you Grace: excuse you Janis: You'd have your exes all back 'round like a family reunion Janis: who's this boy, did you shit in his bed, what's the story Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: I WOULD NOT Janis: 👌👌 you love a repeat Grace: I'm a hoe reformed 😇🙏 Janis: so that's why you're avoiding Janis: get a wimple, join a convent Grace: literally can't 💍 anyone but god now anyway so Grace: obvs that's what he wanted when he cursed me Janis: #whenbaeisposessive 😍 Janis: and don't talk shit, you don't have to promise you'll have your firstborn within the year when you get married, like Janis: not necessary Grace: whatever we're so off topic rn Janis: the topic of you shitting in some London lad's bed, 'cos you did not deny it Janis: let's get back on that Grace: OMG no! Grace: I'm 👵 not 🤢💀🤒😓💀 Grace: he's just a hookup, no drama Janis: just gonna run for cover if you 👀 him Janis: standard Janis: probably not lurking about her gaff unless you've really one-upped everyone and fucked your uncle 🤢 Grace: EW! Grace: I'm not even gonna 👀 him cos he's her bfs brother but like I didn't know that so Janis: that's funny Janis: soz Janis: 😂 when the incestuousness of it all happens without you even trying Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: okay 🤐 Janis: but deffo avoid him Grace: duh Grace: the state of me & my life rn Janis: more like the state of that whole situation Janis: getting involved in that is not anyone's idea of relaxing Grace: obvs but that's not anything to do with him Grace: just like none of this #scandal involves you Janis: Think people know better than to imply it was a threesome, yeah Grace: Gross! & you know what I mean, babes Janis: yeah, it's beyond #obvs you don't wanna avoid this boy mhmm Grace: like that matters, he's not gonna hit me up & same Janis: well okay Janis: arranging that goes beyond sisterly duties into pimp territory so Janis: focus on what you're actually gonna do whilst you're there then Grace: 😭😭💀💀😭 then yeah? Grace: 👌💜 Janis: you could do that here Janis: at least go somewhere instagrammable to die Grace: well duh Grace: final livestream for the haters Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: wonder if anyone's killed themselves on stream yet Janis: must've Grace: obvs Grace: but I literally couldn't even if it was original content cos they'd all think it was about him & I'm sooo 💔💔💔 Janis: No one wants that as their legacy Grace: exactly Janis: even if the race to #1 most subscribed when he gets #cancelled would be just riveting Grace: he won't even though his fans are just Janis: sweaty virgins Janis: yeah, figures Grace: 😂 Grace: I'd tell him to hit them with a Q&A but like he's got no answers Grace: literally should've known I wasn't pregnant Janis: thank fuck you ain't Janis: this time anyway Janis: obvs the whole thing is a little more complex but Christ Janis: having to parent with that Janis: and knowing your child was the product of a really shit shag Janis: 💔 Grace: IKR Grace: at least he doesn't know he could blame the menopause for how shit it was Janis: I highly doubt he knows what the menopause is Janis: nevermind the concept of it coming early Janis: though that shouldn't be that unfamiliar Grace: who knew it could come this early though Grace: not his defence squad but like wtf Janis: I hadn't heard of it before, really Janis: like I knew people like Ro and Mia and co can stop getting their period and it might not come back, even if you sort yourself Janis: it's shit luck Grace: yeah Janis: Did you not get your period Janis: on whatever contraception you're on Grace: loads of people don't on the implant so I wasn't freaking out Janis: yeah Janis: s'what I thought Janis: you don't think, I mean that's not why, is it Grace: I'd hope someone would have floated that as a side effect before I got it put in but it's not like I can ask my former squad if they're also going through it Grace: they might've moved on by now anyways it only lasts 3 years Grace: hence my 👶 panic Janis: I don't think even doctors and scientists know what it does to our bodies Janis: we're still guineapigs for all this shit Janis: I know loads of people get fucked up from all the hormones they add to your body, and the ones they take away Janis: again, just bad luck it happened to be permanent, I guess Janis: fun times Grace: at least I won't have to do any of that shit any more Janis: that's true Janis: it's not like there aren't any perks Janis: or that the losses can't be filled with other potentials in the future, when you actually wanna think about all that shit Grace: unless I go bald then I will kms obvs Janis: If you go bald, you can just go for it and superglue a wig on Grace: find me one that doesn't make me look like a weird cartoon character & sure Janis: no 💗 or 💙 Janis: got it Grace: ty 💜 Janis: failing that, you could make Ri transplant you some of hers Janis: like so you won't give me a baby, okay Grace: 😂😂 coming at her with ✂ Grace: I love that you didn't volunteer yourself bitch Grace: 💇 or 👶 tbh Janis: Full horror movie moment that Janis: selfish to a fault me Janis: and final girl, so you can pry 'em off my cold dead head or outta my cold dead womb Grace: my 📽🎞😱 moment is that this is gonna change my skin type to dry so it'll take me at least a full week to find replacements for all my makeup faves Janis: yeah, but think about how hard your spots should disappear Janis: get yourself a decent moisturizer and you won't even need to bother barely Grace: !!! Grace: I didn't even think of that OMG Janis: mhmm 👵 don't get acne Grace: 🙏🙏 Janis: and you can try a new facial over there, yeah Grace: as long as Ava isn't like no thanks bitch Janis: won't give her an option tbh Grace: 📽🎞😱 Janis: 😏 you know I'm scary bitch Grace: oh please Janis: 👊 Grace: 😘

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so my thought is that like maybe he's been sorting out a Cass rage because he's actually going to this festival and she's fuming about it for obvious reasons but then he comes back and Janis is thinking that Harry might show up cos had that convo with Grace so she's being weird and he's like ?] Janis: [solid plan, awks all 'round, just tryna play off you've been busy whilst he's been arguing like oh hi, definitely didn't hear any of that 'alright?'] Jimmy: [just going for a 🚬 immediately because he's obvs not alright] Janis: fair Janis: they could take a few tips, like Jimmy: gutted they don't know where I live then Jimmy: for that and loads of other reasons, like Janis: naturally Janis: such good craic, who wouldn't want them popping over for a cuppa Jimmy: hot water and 🍋 is nearer to the order they'd put in Janis: do you charge for that at CG? Janis: probably a couple of euro, still Jimmy: put a fancy name on it and you can charge for owt Janis: they're stupid enough to buy it Janis: we're definitely getting them the cheapest paint-thinner vodka, yeah Jimmy: what do you want? 🍾? Janis: 🙄 deffo Janis: any +1s I can get Jimmy: such a celebration 🙌 Janis: everyone's feeling it Janis: we might not end up going anyway Jimmy: what? Janis: you know, fuck knows where they're all at with it Janis: 🤞 I've convinced Grace she has to though Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: whose idea were this? obvs a right dickhead Janis: yeah Janis: if we don't bottle it she can't Janis: tried her best but Jimmy: bottle her before I stay here Janis: you gotta be hot about it Janis: rude Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: come sit with me Janis: you sure Jimmy: you don't wanna? Janis: just thinking if there's any more shit news I have to give you before I do Jimmy: is there? Janis: I dunno Janis: you given any thought to who Mia's mystery guest could be Jimmy: I reckon that 🏌 trip her daddy's on might be #fake Janis: that'd make it all worth it Janis: none of us are that 🍀 Jimmy: or she's choosing now to come out with her 🤞 you will an' all Janis: shut up Janis: you're meant to think Asia is irreplaceable Jimmy: duh Jimmy: I know I'm #blessed Janis: you're the only one Jimmy: 😏 Janis: we all know Mia isn't surprising her with lizard boy Jimmy: or 🐸 from previous Janis: if we're doing a this is your life of her exes, she'll need a bus Jimmy: Alright, no need to make me jealous Jimmy: can't be arsed with the green emojis Janis: you can't be Janis: very #ungoals Janis: they're all massive slags and proud Janis: 'cept #2, who wouldn't and Tammy who couldn't Jimmy: Holly's a good name, bit prickly her Jimmy: the marding and the hair regrowth Janis: 😂 Janis: so mean Jimmy: did have to laugh when princess Ella were like mime to a sad song about it Janis: no doubt being favourite got her cocky but her comebacks were better Jimmy: wonder who'll be fave by the time we get there Janis: not her, if Holly made good on her threat Jimmy: bloody musical thrones Jimmy: could be on telly Janis: 🙄 don't say that Janis: already think they're interesting enough to film it Jimmy: I get it, that's only us, eh babe? 😏 Janis: duh Janis: why it weren't hard to 👑👑 Jimmy: pissed on my 💍 proposal, still fuming Janis: me and all Janis: chat about not getting sarcasm, you know Asia's gonna come at me with a Pinterest moodboard moment Janis: tah so much Jimmy: proper 💕 that girl Janis: mm Jimmy: leaning on your phone cos you're 🗭 about 💍👰 Jimmy: very #goals that Janis: not gonna waste any time dreaming when it's SO real am I Jimmy: you don't want a 🌠 to have a go on then? Jimmy: loads out here Janis: what a totally believable coincidence Janis: guess I better Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [coming out like oh hey] Jimmy: [patting the doorstep he's sitting on like have a seat] Janis: [doing it but raising a brow like 😏 'you gonna give me my annual report or something?'] Jimmy: ['that what you're after from me, is it?' 😏 'loads of long words'] Janis: [shrugs 'asking if you were gonna punish me seemed cliche so'] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: [nudges him, not in a shut up way but a how're you way] Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder cos not alright so gotta be OTT about it] Janis: [strokes his hair 'we don't have to go, you know, if you need to stay here...they're perfectly capable of tearing themselves apart in the meantime'] Jimmy: [makes an unimpressed noise cos can't admit that he wants to go to be with her or get into how he always needs to stay here whether he likes it or not] Janis: [smushes his face 'alright, grumpy'] Jimmy: [pushing her off but then pulling her into you at the same time as if you're not already close af to each other] Janis: ['what do you wanna do?' soft] Jimmy: [kisses her because that's always what he wants to do even though we all know that's not what she meant] Janis: [allowing it though 'cos same] Jimmy: [just a nice little make out moment to lose ourselves in and forget everything else] Janis: [you really deserve it] Jimmy: ['do you wanna go?' we know the answer is no but] Janis: ['any chance to fuck with them is a good idea, yeah' 'cos wasn't a bad one, just ehh 'cos of this Harry thing and Cass going off] Jimmy: [nods like that's that settled then cos god forbid you offer your own opinion boy] Janis: ['plus, we get to have our own tent'] Jimmy: ['there's nowt you could say or do to convince me to go if we didn't' sounds like such a challenge lol] Janis: ['stop tryna make me feel special, boy' 😏] Jimmy: ['wouldn't be very goals of me, that'] Janis: [makes face like, gutted] Jimmy: [shamelessly just touching her face nbd] Janis: [looking awayayay] Jimmy: [when that devastates you but there's nothing you can say or do because everything's so casual and so only sexual yep] Janis: [just resting your head on his shoulder now 'cos drama] Jimmy: [playing with her hair in the softest way because of course] Janis: ['what are you gonna wear then?' 'cos we're definitely all thinking about our #lewks rn] Jimmy: [such a surprised lol because not what he expected her to say obvs] Janis: ['this isn't a laughing matter' in some semblance of a Mia impression] Jimmy: [when it's probably pretty accurate so you flinch like oh no I hate that] Janis: [loling evilly, 'not doing Asia for you, get over it'] Jimmy: [💔 hands even though it means you have to stop playing with her hair for a sec] Janis: ['bitch' who we referring to here] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi cos assuming she means him] Janis: ['what you gonna do about it?' 😏] Jimmy: [playfight cos it's been a minute] Janis: ['not going to apologize to her'] Jimmy: ['if not that, what is the plan?'] Janis: [🤔 face] Jimmy: [hiding his 😍 by looking at the imaginary watch like any time you're ready] Janis: [nudges him like alright, alright 'how can we make the divide even bigger? need to get them to fight again, which really shouldn't be hard'] Jimmy: ['your sister and the tall one are already about to snap, no challenge there, if we really want to fuck her over we need to get her ultimate fave on side' shrugs because that's always the mood] Janis: ['yeah, but they always roll over, that's the problem, we have to kick it up that notch so they all go beyond that...I just don't know how, ditto what we can give that one that Mia can't, like' shrugs back] Jimmy: [gets his phone and shows her that he's messaging Asia like he really wants her boyfriend there for the lad bants because that's an easy given to annoy Mia] Janis: ['I think she's invited Harry, or she wants me to think she has or- I don't fucking know but I don't think he'll come anyway' when you just blurt that out in response 'cos as good a time as any] Jimmy: [such a look like wtf cos god knows what he'll say if he blurts something out rn cos so 😒] Janis: ['the way she didn't say...they basically give each other measurements and a star-rating usually so- don't you reckon she was trying to get at us?' shrugs like could be wrong but we all know it ain't] Jimmy: [when you get up because you know she's right and you're fuming honey] Janis: ['I know' but also like ?! reaction you can't hide] Jimmy: [he literally has no words for how fucked up this all is and how much he can't stand Mia so just the biggest sigh to ever have existed] Janis: ['there's no way he'll come, bet she ain't even asked'] Jimmy: ['that's alright then' bit of sarcasm for you there Ella lol] Janis: ['Well, ain't it?'] Jimmy: [😒 af face] Janis: ['she's a cunt, we've known that'] Jimmy: [sitting back down where you were but you're not chill at all] Janis: [getting him another 🚬 and then herself] Jimmy: [furiously 🚬 while he's trying to think of ways to fuck Mia over] Janis: sorry Jimmy: shut up Janis: well I am Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't] Janis: [shrugs like fine but is just jogging her leg up and down 'cos not cool with this and has been thinking about it since the chat] Jimmy: [puts his hand on said leg like stop it's okay] Janis: ['he's so-' lacking the words or adequately hardcore 😒 face for him] Jimmy: ['he's nowt we can't handle' but so genuinely said not like ha we're so 🥇 bants] Janis: ['we shouldn't have to, you especially but still, it's bullshit'] Jimmy: [shrugs but looking at her 'I said you're worth sticking around for, didn't I?' because everything is bullshit or worse in jimothy's life rn we know so to say that and mean it is a LOT 'not gonna change my mind 'cause of him, her or any other knobheads'] Janis: ['I-' when you can't even begin to say anything that you think matches what he's just said remotely so you just falter but the LOOK is everything] Jimmy: ['it'll be alright' said like even if it's not it still will be because he literally only cares about her so he'll make sure it is] Janis: [nods and squeezes his hand 'fuck 'em all'] Jimmy: [draws the heart with their initials in on her hand with his fingertip pressing harder than usual for emphasis and obvs using the hand she's not holding so he doesn't have to let go because they in this together and such a good team and not because he loves her or anything nope] Janis: ['draw blood or it didn't happen, baby' bravado to cover the real as hell 😳] Jimmy: [taking the invitation to do a new lovebite because we all need that distraction before shit gets any feelsier] Janis: [lean into the sex of it all kids 'cos we don't need to fake any of that to still be real[ Jimmy: [lowkey love that you're on the doorstep still] Janis: [bonjour neighbours, Ian will be thrilled and thus I am 'cos fuck you] Jimmy: [same because you make this flatwhite drama seem like a picnic sir] Janis: [true tea, like in the grand scheme of things, are we bothered] Jimmy: [he's really not we know he's only doing any of this for her and to spend time with her so] Janis: [and as much as Mia deserves payback by this point, this is all a distraction from the real mess of her life too so] Jimmy: [the truest tea] Janis: [probably do at least take this to the back lol] Jimmy: [enough people and a dog milling around to make you think someone could be about to come out of that door and convince you to move lol] Janis: [god bless] Jimmy: [take all the alone time you can get rn cos this festival is gonna be a LOT] Janis: [we know it, as much as you're low-key just like we gonna spend the whole time just 😍 at this point, 'cos fuck it, won't actually be that, soz] Jimmy: [mhmm we'll make sure Mia has a worse time but it's not gonna be all fun and games for you two] Janis: [joy of joys] Jimmy: [we should make a list of everything we wanna happen in terms of the flatwhites bs when we're done but before we start the festival fr so we can decide how to ref it] Janis: [good idea carrot] Jimmy: [cos obvs we only care how it effects jj soz not soz] Janis: [but of course, we gotta timeline the drama so we don't forget anything] Jimmy: [do we wanna now or is there anything else we wanna do in this convo?] Janis: [hmm, like she's probably gonna try and leave 'cos still in that stage of like, you don't want me to sleep over but aside from that moment, we can probs get going on the plan] Jimmy: [we could always bring out the big guns because Ian isn't gonna want him to go either but like obvs don't wanna go too hard with that before they go for a million reasons] Janis: [we can deffo do that afterwards, like they've already had a time then Ian is fuming, think that's better] Jimmy: [agreed because we know we're gonna do something to make the fwb awks on top of the flatwhites bs so his mood will be peak sick of Ian's shit] Janis: [gonna move her in so soon get over it sir] Jimmy: [alright in that vein how do you wanna do her trying to leave?] Janis: [like it clearly gets to tea time or something like that where she can be like, I'll leave you to it] Jimmy: [and he's like bit rude like it's all bants and she's a rich girl with fancy tastes and he's a poor boy who can't cook we know the drill] Janis: [and she's like don't be stupid 🙄 'cos gotta defend yourself even in bants] Jimmy: [and he's like now I'm thick as well, tah very much etc etc] Janis: ['just northern'] Jimmy: ['oi, keep taking my lines off me and what am I meant to say?' and a look that's nearly a LOOK because there's so much being unsaid and we all know it, them included] Janis: [mimes 🤐 but on his face not hers for closeness you simply do not need but clearly do] Jimmy: [picks her up which you're still not meant to do boy and puts her on the kitchen counter like you're staying that settles it] Janis: ['am I sous chef or the appetizer?'] Jimmy: [can't speak cos 🤐 but his 👀 are saying so much rn] Janis: [thinking he's being quiet 'cos the kids are like in the lounge or something so kinda like whooops 'dessert, maybe'] Jimmy: [still looking at her like are you gonna stay for that long because don't actually wanna say it in case she's like no] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'no one's expecting me, like'] Jimmy: [releasing a breath you didn't know you were holding, like] Janis: [getting down off the counter like go on then, lemme help] Jimmy: [god knows what we're making but we're doing it together guys] Janis: [kissing his cheek 'cos he's cute] Jimmy: [properly kissing her because that made him die] Janis: [remember at calis in the kichen, a mood] Jimmy: [we should have one of the kids come in before they get too extra/the food is forgotten about entirely] Janis: [deffo] Jimmy: [who do you vote for cos very different vibes depending if it's Bobby or Cass lol] Janis: [we can be a bit mean and say its Cass] Jimmy: [LOL imagine her face just like don't mind me starving to death you two carry on] Janis: [not winning any points yet babe] Jimmy: [we know you will soon gal] Janis: what did your ex do? Jimmy: ? Janis: she must've done something to make your sister hate all of your 'gfs' that hard by default Janis: even if I am delaying her tea, like Jimmy: she did loads of things Janis: right Jimmy: @ either of them for the list Janis: you're alright Janis: not that nosy Jimmy: just 🤏 Jimmy: I get it Janis: 'course Janis: if the reason my parents hated you was worth telling I would, like Jimmy: community service ain't enough of a reason? Janis: 'course not Janis: not when you pretend you're still cool to prove you ever were Jimmy: 👎 Janis: what, you wanna go harder to be public enemy #1? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: obviously Janis: you tryna displease my parents is just as weird as you tryna please 'em Janis: just pretend they don't exist, yeah Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: they ain't even in your age-range Janis: behave Jimmy: gutted about that an' all Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: gross, you Jimmy: Bill's gonna be well proud of that protest Jimmy: and your cool parents an' all Janis: piss off Janis: [😒 face] Jimmy: [hooray we can do the beloved pouty face lip thing when he of course kisses her rn oh how I've missed it] Janis: [likewise 'cos loves that so much] Jimmy: [I think it's the first time and I'm fine about it] Janis: [in that case, she's so not, forgetting you just got shaded about being extra so hard] Jimmy: [soz not soz Cass] Janis: ['you know-' being quiet enough that hopefully you aren't disturbing everyone rn '-you know how much I want you' is that a question or a statement, we love being vague] Jimmy: [there's no way he's being quiet enough if he doesn't kiss her really hard rn deal with it everyone he doesn't wanna take care of y'all he wants to be 15 and extra] Janis: [let this boy live] Jimmy: [we're living in this kitchen atm though] Janis: [gotta be up against the door like soz no one come in rn] Jimmy: [give them all the moments thank you cos there's no stopping this and we aren't sorry about it] Janis: [y'all will be fine, they won't] Jimmy: [exactly] Janis: ['I need you' 'cos close as you're allowed to get rn ty] Jimmy: [likewise say her name in response cos that's all I'm letting you say] Janis: [all ready for this trip] Jimmy: [gonna be hilarious for us but not for you] Janis: [so, let's do a flatwhite cringe checklist lol, one of them, probably Asia, needs to be schwasted and get WELL lost, like maybe her mans does show halfway through the night and is like where is she and they're like ??? and then it's dramaaaa] Jimmy: [that's a really good idea] Jimmy: [I think Grace should be the one who hooks up with a lad and then they can't get rid of him and his gaggle of mates because that'd annoy Mia so much which she swore to Janis she would do but also something she would do because Ella called her fat and Hollie should sleep with one of the others but not remember which one it is like we said] Janis: [I vibe that, oh Hollie, hmm what else, one of them needs to freak out in the crowd and have to get pulled out, that's v cringe, like it's hardly a moshpit ladies] Jimmy: [I was literally gonna say someone should go to the first aid tent for no real reason because same vibe] Jimmy: [Ella should be the crowd freaker outer because she probably doesn't like to be touched and Mia should go to the first aid tent like nearly as soon as they get there because gotta pull focus and phone her daddy for that attention she's not getting from her squad rn] Janis: [approved, what a holy show, ladies, plus if Mia does that it'd be a way to force them into a truce without them realizing like omg are you okay and all taking care of her she don't need] Jimmy: [yeah exactly what a snek and it gives her an excuse to cry over the fact Harry ain't coming without them knowing that's why like she's not upset she's just so ill okay] Janis: [obviously they'll all get white girl wasted and embarrassing with that] Jimmy: [good lord yes that's a given at least when JJ get drunk they embarrass themselves with how much they secretly love each other, state of that lot honestly] Janis: [seriously, if it's a small festival maybe the lads they hook up with are in one of the bands 'cos that'd be annoying thinking they're like famous and it's like you aren't though and you were probably shite] Jimmy: [yaaaas I love that] Jimmy: [I also vote that the weather is really crap cos JJ won't care but they would cos their hair and their lewks] Janis: ['cos it always is and you have to roll with it but they apparently didn't get the memo lol] Jimmy: [Hollie the only one vaguely appropriately dressed for festival life] Janis: [it's funny 'cos festival fashion is meant to be so effortless and none of them can ever like they'll look so try-hard and their age 'cos younger girls are like that at raves and shit too like you gotta hang] Jimmy: [mhmm so mad cos Janis looks fire whenever aren't you Mia] Janis: [their posh girl lewks, oh lord] Jimmy: [I just imagine Mia's dad being slightly weird about getting updates throughout the weekend cos he's that cringey and near incesty] Janis: [deffo, when you're in a relationship with your dad, like how's golf, how's the lads, eurgh] Jimmy: [honestly though just having that husband and wife style convo nbd] Janis: [that's why you mad he cheating on your ma, don't lie] Jimmy: [the tea, girls that are older than you but still far too young for him and everything you wish you were] Janis: [he's not even fit it's so sad and gross] Jimmy: [no happy ending for you hun] Janis: [so we've got a good idea for them, what do we wanna do with the fwb moment?] Jimmy: [I wanna fuck it up cos I'm evil but I'm not sure how yet] Janis: [hmm, let's think]

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Don't get excited or anything Janis: only talking to you to look busy Jimmy: steal my job an' all or just my lines? Jimmy: so proud me Janis: technically I got you fired from that one Janis: and not to get ahead in the java game myself so Jimmy: fucked my future as a recruiter that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: 💔 Janis: what can I say? Janis: your chat has left a lot to be desired from the start Janis: though I'd happily pick up a CG shift now, nothing to do with your skillz or lack thereof Jimmy: You could've started this one with 'oi Jim don't put persuasive on the CV' and have done, mate but here we still are pissing about Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: use your head and pick up a shift where Pete works now not where he burned his bridges if you want the good chat, girl Janis: Yeah 'cos you want me interrupting your bromance time more than I already do Janis: reverse psychology won't work on me either, boy Jimmy: Tell it to the lad who's rewriting a birthday classic in your honor 'cause that ain't me, babe Jimmy: Still got it bad after all this time he has 💘 Jimmy: #thejulieteffect Janis: God, Gracie didn't slip him an invite as a tip, did she Janis: will have to maim my face to avoid any further association with her, like Jimmy: Might've Jimmy: Much as we throw Shona on that Gracie sized bullet she's nowt but persistent Janis: Desperate is the word Janis: invite half the town, why not Janis: no girl needs that many 'idk you really so I got you a bath set' gifts Jimmy: Alright, alright I'll take yours back to the shop Jimmy: Calm down Janis: bung it her way Janis: still might get some 'gratitude' 🤞 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: cool so it's a plan Janis: you distract, I'll make myself scarce Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: it's not known to be challenging Janis: but we have just discussed your shortcomings too so yeah Janis: maybe baby Jimmy: having her about when I ain't being paid is proper challenging Jimmy: you wanna sweeten the deal, rich girl Janis: Hmm, what you got in mind? Jimmy: we both make ourselves scarce Jimmy: I reckon that's a better plan Janis: maybe ain't earned persuasive still but Janis: you can tick off problem solver Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: ain't gonna be a problem if have the dickheads in town have an invite to your gaff Jimmy: slip away easy through that #opendoor Jimmy: half* Janis: you forget I'm 1 outta 2 guests of honour Janis: sadly, you are the only one on that score Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: nobody but Pete's coming for you, babe and we can slip him a note ahead of time Janis: You really know how to make a girl feel special, huh 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: is it worth me coming to you Janis: how long you got left on Jimmy: both feeling special now Jimmy: how #goals Janis: well you know Janis: hit up the CG already and the replacements aren't much Jimmy: 💔 for 'em and you Janis: don't look too 😢 for me when I show Janis: not #goals Jimmy: Drying my eyes on my apron as we speak, like Janis: need your 😎 Jimmy: that's alright til the fans wanna see my 😍 Janis: who are you kidding, Doris can't see in front of her face Janis: it's the accent Jimmy: she can see my 🍆 Jimmy: keeps her coming back Janis: please don't make me laugh Jimmy: sexual harassment is no laughing matter, dickhead Jimmy: she's a menace 👵🚫 Janis: you know you're asking for it, babe Janis: made your granny love no secret Jimmy: when I'm not 😢 over you I'm 🤤 over her Jimmy: busted Janis: can't fool me Janis: know what you're like far too well tbh Jimmy: see right through me you Jimmy: only gonna get more of a bighead the older you get, aren't you? Janis: don't plan on changing Janis: not that kind of birthday girl Jimmy: 👍 Janis: dunno why she's bothering Janis: 'less she can get Pete to fake marry her she ain't even competing Jimmy: shut up, he'd get a decent amount of song writing material outta that Jimmy: enough to consider it Jimmy: don't be giving ideas like that out for nowt Janis: so you're saying recruiters out for you but pimp/band manager is my calling Janis: cheers, keep it in mind Jimmy: can't be living off mummy and daddy forever, babe Jimmy: time's running out Janis: they're running out of kids who wanna be around them, more like Janis: you know they don't wanna be left just them and Gracie Jimmy: Give 'em the heads up and they'll have time to have a load more Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 💸💸💸 Janis: if they do, not me Janis: and all the others Janis: splitting it 10 ways makes it less impressive Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: I know Janis: babysitting is your primary gig Janis: soz, like Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Poor, poor boy Janis: have to stick with your two Jimmy: You still ain't taken the 🐶 off me yet so it's 3 Janis: if you put 'dog dad' in your bio it's over Jimmy: saved that 💎 for the dating apps Janis: fairplay Janis: go over well with that crowd Jimmy: 🐶💕 Jimmy: gotta earn her keep somehow Janis: subtle Janis: what do you want, like Jimmy: other than 🐶💀 Janis: you love her, shut up Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you love her Janis: I know what I've 👀 Janis: and I've got plenty of blackmail evidence for when this all goes tits Jimmy: I know how to fake it Jimmy: tah for all the practise Janis: mhmm, 'cos you did such a top job at that Jimmy: 🥇 me Janis: Sure thing babe Janis: best bae ever Janis: fake enough for you? Jimmy: might be if you didn't mean every word Janis: Idiot Jimmy: you love me Jimmy: and you're on your way here, deny it Janis: I can't deny I'm en-route Janis: but that's like 96% because I need to hide Janis: no funny business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: only thirsty for a fruit juice Janis: I ain't a toddler Janis: and obviously, I ain't looking for you to serve me either 🤷 Jimmy: you ain't a coffee drinker and we don't serve booze, pisshead Janis: 1. I'm gonna subtly wait for Pete to be free 2. we'll think of something Jimmy: 1. enjoy helping him close 2. he won't be thinking of owt when he's this hungover so enjoy doing that yourself an' all Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: not entirely sure you barista boys are worth the hassle Jimmy: on you go then Jimmy: find a barman and solve all your problems Janis: no tah Janis: can't be going there Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: it'd be like you cracking on with a miner Janis: assume your granddad was a miner Jimmy: be like me having a go on a 👻 Janis: can make that happen Janis: that kinda cool girlfriend, obvs Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: find out the equipment Janis: not talking 🍆🤖s Jimmy: so I'll meet you in the cemetery or what? Jimmy: #datenight Janis: Such an emo Janis: called it and you out from day one Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You reckoned I wanted to suck Alex Turner's ballsack Jimmy: Indie and emo are different genres, mate Janis: It's all fringes and marding really, isn't it, mate Janis: point is, ghosts are everywhere Janis: have as much if not more luck in any house in this shithole of a town Jimmy: proper poetic you Jimmy: I smell a lyrical collab with your bf Janis: nah Janis: we both know muse is about as good as I got Jimmy: but there's no need to pass that along to Pete and have him 💔 Janis: Shut up Janis: he loves me just the way I am, and YOU'RE just jealous Jimmy: #duh Janis: if I wanted that kind of guilt-trip, I'd have stayed there Jimmy: The orchestra is raring to go here Jimmy: What more do you want? Janis: you Janis: dickhead Jimmy: I'm yours, dickhead Janis: Good Janis: I need you, like Jimmy: We don't need to be here, either of us Janis: I can't Janis: I can't be anywhere near that fucking party tomorrow Janis: it's not just because it's the usual bullshit family function either, like Janis: just Janis: nah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: good thing I have a better idea Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: Nowt for you to do but come with me Janis: Alright Janis: obviously Janis: never gonna have better plans or better company 'round here so Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: come here and we'll go from there Janis: I am Janis: I'd almost forgot how long this bus took Janis: been that long, like Jimmy: you should be live tweeting Jimmy: fans love a throwback Janis: well, we both know what I should really be doing Janis: but ain't really feeling it and this bus driver is new Jimmy: 🤞 our top bloke ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: weren't meant to be part of the pact, like Janis: if he was on the outs, I'd have 💀 him at the wheel ages ago Janis: just that good Janis: call me the eternal optimist Jimmy: 🌹 by any other name Janis: peak romance always Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: you ain't seen nowt yet birthday girl Janis: Idiot Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do I need to bring anything Janis: not fishing for clues or nowt but could be relevant Jimmy: bring whatever you would to fuck off for a day Jimmy: we ain't coming back til its over Janis: okay Janis: just us? Jimmy: you can bring the dog if you want Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I draw the line at Pete's puppy dog eyes though Janis: 💔 Jimmy: You'll live and he's half 💀 so there ain't no challenge in smacking him down Janis: Hot Jimmy: 😏 Janis: is that my surprise? Jimmy: Do you want that to be your surprise? Janis: Yeah, I'm gonna be an accessory by admission Janis: think on, babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Your man of mystery bit is very unhelpful sometimes Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: soz you can't handle being kept on your toes Janis: oh please Jimmy: What? Janis: I could run circles around you in my sleep Jimmy: go on then Janis: maybe Janis: if the plans allow time Jimmy: maybe I'll make time if it's that important to you to prove yourself, Juliet Janis: I know I don't need to prove myself to you Jimmy: 👌 Janis: fuck off Janis: you love me Jimmy: You're alright, for a rich girl Janis: I'm the best Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: #duh Jimmy: #youknowthedrill Janis: town is finally in sight Janis: jesus Jimmy: the new driver ain't winning me over 💔 for him Jimmy: sort it out knobhead Jimmy: 🎅 will get there before his bus, like Janis: N'awh Janis: you missed me? Jimmy: for a sec or two Jimmy: not owt to get a big head over Janis: have to work on that then, won't I Jimmy: hate for you to be bored while you're waiting for Pete to make you a drink Jimmy: gotta give you something to do Jimmy: it'll take him ages longer than two secs Janis: weird brag, mate Janis: usually the other way 'round but admire the honesty 😂 Jimmy: been a bit since I've made shit weird Jimmy: nice to know you've missed it Janis: you know Janis: keeps things interesting, you do Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: part of the deal, like Janis: I'll renew your contract Janis: 👌 job Jimmy: tah Jimmy: might take you off the trial period for a bit Jimmy: see how you go Janis: 😏 Janis: might not hand in my notice Jimmy: won't have to get a replacement in then Janis: 💔 Janis: know how you love that Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: keep disappointing me, you Janis: psh Jimmy: It's alright, well used to it, me Jimmy: nowt I can't handle Janis: We'll put that theory to the test when I get there Janis: 5 mins Jimmy: good Janis: thanks Janis: by the way Jimmy: you ain't opened your bath shit yet Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I've got to work on my so real surprise/grattitude some time, babe Janis: want me to fake it when I'm there Janis: alright Jimmy: that top job you reckoned I did faking it goes double for you, girl Jimmy: I ain't helping Pete close so you've got more time to piss about having a go Janis: Not how I remember it, boy Jimmy: scroll back through all your feeds Jimmy: I'll hang on Janis: admitting you're more #basic Janis: cute Jimmy: surprise! 🎉 Jimmy: happy birthday Janis: 😍😋 Jimmy: 💘 Janis: love you Jimmy: I love you Janis: I really do Jimmy: Is it my turn to act surprised or what? Janis: You can Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: ages after I thought we'd run out Janis: just that good, baby Jimmy: I'll give you a few minutes Jimmy: deffo worth that Janis: and so generous Janis: 😩 Jimmy: too northern for that shit Janis: Nah Janis: this place has changed you Janis: 🍀💀 Jimmy: If owt's changed take your share of the blame Jimmy: 💕🔪💀 Janis: alright Janis: I ruined your life Janis: do something about it

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: hmu when you're out Jimmy: 👌 I'm done Janis: 🤞 how'd it go Jimmy: alright Jimmy: they told me I got it so Janis: really Janis: 👍 well done Janis: that's sorted then Jimmy: tah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: where are you? Janis: gym Janis: but I'm nearly done Jimmy: I'll meet you there Jimmy: don't matter Janis: sure? Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: gimme a sec Janis: 👍 Janis: what place was this again, what's it like Jimmy: [sends her the deets so she can stalk] Jimmy: Pete'll fit right in when I poach him 💕 Janis: 👌 Janis: dream team back together Jimmy: IKR 😍😍😍 Jimmy: can't wait to tweet him the good news OMG Janis: gonna be so buzzin' babe Janis: not just 'cos he thinks you've forgotten him 💔 Jimmy: poor lad 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you alright then? Janis: 'course Janis: I didn't have no interview Jimmy: but you didn't have me for a bit Jimmy: sound at least fake gutted Janis: 😭😭😭 Janis: me Janis: how's that? Jimmy: more #goals Jimmy: but not 🥇 Janis: What Janis: how do I win then Jimmy: just show me how much you missed me when I get there Janis: duh Janis: not even a challenge, babe Jimmy: I weren't making one Jimmy: yours is to find somewhere decent to celebrate later Janis: 'course Jimmy: we'll see Jimmy: how you do Janis: oi Janis: when have I ever let you down dickhead Jimmy: I know, it's only the fans Jimmy: a girl from my art class asked when you were like she was hoping I'd dumped you Jimmy: 😭 she was Janis: 😒 Janis: who Jimmy: how would I know? Jimmy: lasses who take art all look the same Janis: true Janis: bit rude she expected me to be there tbh Jimmy: you ain't gonna drop in for your smoothie fix then? Jimmy: I get it, it's no CG 💔 Janis: you know that was fake Janis: but get Pete and we can talk Jimmy: not even a challenge, babe Jimmy: I know he misses me Janis: yeah, no one saying you weren't 🔥 at your job, babe Janis: take that slack Jimmy: the manager was & is Jimmy: but tah Janis: yeah but he's just a prick Janis: and jealous Jimmy: his loss he could've walked in on us more if he'd let me stay Janis: kicking himself if Doris ain't Jimmy: she'll have fucked him up with her 👜 for it Janis: 😂 'least she's ride or die for you babe Jimmy: I'll hit her up on my way to you Jimmy: get the encouragement I need so enthusiasm for you won't be a challenge 💕👵 Janis: thanks 💕 Janis: save on the foreplay when I've got planning to do Jimmy: yeah Janis: actually good job though Janis: give your da something to not be totally 😠 about Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: he's ringing me now Janis: 👌 Janis: real highkey, ian Jimmy: he rang me loads when I was in there too 🙄 Jimmy: hang on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: you still in the gym? Janis: yeah Janis: you alright Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'm outside 🚬 Jimmy: no rush like Janis: 👍 Janis: gimme 5 Janis: [is about that 'cos obvs knows, hugs and looking like hey but also you okay] Jimmy: [gives her a nod and a shrug and says 'afternoon' but then hugs for longer than necessary cos that's the real bit] Janis: [keeps hugging and says 'fuck him'] Jimmy: [gives her soft little neck kisses cos love] Janis: [whispers 'proud of you' 'cos is, pulls back eventually but holding his hand] Jimmy: [is a mixture of 😳 & 😢 & 😍] Janis: where d'ya wanna go for now then Jimmy: where do you wanna? Janis: wanna 🚬 and walk for a while longer Jimmy: [lights up for her cos gentlemanly] Janis: start the regime tomorrow 🚭 Janis: [gives him a kiss on the cheek when she takes it] Jimmy: [he wipes the kiss off like she does sometimes but is looking at her like 😍 cos she looks good after the gym] Janis: [proper kiss 'cos why not] Jimmy: you look Jimmy: just so you know Jimmy: [another kiss cos 1. she do and 2. distraction] Janis: if you say sweaty I will hit you 'cos I had a shower and everything Jimmy: not what I'm saying Janis: it's what you're saying with your eyes that's Janis: indecent Jimmy: ? Jimmy: [but looks at her again cos he knows] Janis: such a pisstake, you Jimmy: such a 💔 you Janis: trust, I was 💔 you weren't in time to join me too Jimmy: [is genuinely gutted you can see] Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: adding it to the list of grievances, yeah Ian Jimmy: give it to your true love & maybe she'll bury another ugly tie in the garden Janis: when she's just trying to save you from a fashion faux pas Jimmy: trained her to do that one, yeah Janis: yeah, you got me Janis: passion for fashion Jimmy: [is too forlorn for a lol but she gets a genuine smile] Janis: [frowns a little but then is looking 'round, determined] Janis: no doubt it's all the after-work-sesh dickheads rn but since you'll be back to being one soon, start with an early one, yeah? Jimmy: if you want, pisshead Janis: it's what you want Janis: take full advantage Jimmy: [shrugs but this is obviously gonna happen don't fight it boy] Janis: [raises a brow like 'really?' but doesn't push it, heading off in direction of nearest pub] Jimmy: [handholding 'cause winnie said so] Janis: scale of 1-10 Janis: how hard do you need to be distracted Jimmy: when don't I want you to be at 10 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: obviously but I said need not want Janis: two very different things Jimmy: how hard do you need to distract me? Jimmy: it's your job you should wanna do it Janis: they indoctrinated you already in the interview alone? Janis: sad Janis: tragic Janis: I'll miss you Jimmy: shut up & piss off Jimmy: not an answer nowt of that Janis: neither was yours, like Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [walking in silence for bit 'cos not tryna push it when it's obvs what's up so] Jimmy: [pulls her to a stop by the hand & then in closer and gives her a really intense kiss as if to say there's your answer, alright] Janis: [nods like okay] Jimmy: [and they walking again ayyy like nothing happened straight into the pub] Janis: [gets the drinks in 'cos it will help #pissheadconfirmed] Jimmy: [is on his phone texting Cass checking in cos he's not gonna go home soz babes] Janis: [back at the table like drink up] Jimmy: [drinks way too much of his drink in a oner considering they ain't doing a challenge rn] Janis: [look that says 'that bad, yeah' and drinks more than she normally would but not as much 'cos sensible without being a downer, like] Jimmy: what do you reckon to my new workplace then Janis: less basic than CG Janis: have hopes that the clientele will be less too Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: & keep it off the 'gram for now Jimmy: sure Mia will stalk hard enough to figure it out but Jimmy: I'm not giving her a headstart Janis: 👍 Janis: bitch needs it Janis: and a defibrilator at the end Janis: but you know, not giving you those kinda kicks, soz babes 😘 Jimmy: maybe the loud tunes will 💀 her Jimmy: you did say she was one hairflip away from a heart attack Janis: can but dream Janis: think it'll be alright though Janis: as jobs go Jimmy: I'll let you have a lie in for the morning so you can crack on with that Janis: 💕 so considerate Janis: I wanna see you though Jimmy: [finishes his drink & goes to get more even though she hasn't yet] Jimmy: I need to see you Jimmy: I ain't going if not Janis: you will Janis: you staying over again yeah Jimmy: you want me to? Janis: 'course Janis: always Jimmy: [brings the drinks over but puts them both on his side cos he wants her to sit on his lap as standard so he's giving her a come here type look] Janis: [know the drill by now even if she gonna play like really okay gurl] Jimmy: [tells her that he missed her in her ear cos he did like idk how long that interview would be cos could be a group one or any kind of shit] Janis: [is playing with the collar of his fancy interview clothes and is all smiley 'cos kinda tickled] Janis: I missed you too Jimmy: [earlobe sauciness & then jaw kisses & finally neck like earlier but not soft this time, just taking his time being hot] Janis: ['Jesus' and drinking more of her drink] Jimmy: [he's just randomly tracing on her leg with his finger like doodling while she drinks] Janis: [looking at what he's doing like she'll be able to see an actual doodle] Janis: always on, babe Jimmy: you know it Jimmy: gimme a request, what do you want me to draw for you Jimmy: on you Janis: you're the creative one Janis: I just sit here and look pretty Janis: hmm [is think] Jimmy: [kissing her same as he did before but going from neck up to her ear instead while she thinks] Janis: well that's very distracting Janis: you should clearly write me one of your world famous sexts Jimmy: [but does though, on her thigh to make it a mood] Janis: [is concentrating hard like a nerd 'cos wants to know, even if it's making it hard to sit still] Jimmy: [goes over some words again if he wants her to figure that particular one out] Janis: [casually can't breathe] Jimmy: [casually just writing a long one cos he can] Janis: you Janis: you're trying to kill me Jimmy: I just wanna make you feel good, baby Jimmy: stay with me here Janis: we're meant to be celebrating you Jimmy: if it's about me I can do what I want Jimmy: & I want to Janis: [shrugs like can't argue with that logic like you wanna] Jimmy: [carries on, like we know he's just shamelessly touching her up at this point soz everyone] Janis: [know she's just up in his neck with all the kissing and biting 'cos trying not to be obvious] Jimmy: [could be forgiven for thinking he's trying to kill her cos just going at this like they aren't in public okay boy] Janis: you really meant everything you wrote Janis: fuck Jimmy: when don't I? Janis: not saying you disappoint Janis: have a job right now Jimmy: 'cause you can't say that right now Jimmy: I'd know you don't mean it Janis: how could you not Janis: you've got your hands right Janis: you can feel Jimmy: [makes a happy noise like yep I can & I'm living for it] Jimmy: you should wear this all the time Janis: you like it? Jimmy: I like how easy it is to do this Jimmy: & you look Jimmy: [kisses any and all exposed skin there is within reach] Janis: You're really not playing today are you Janis: [gripping onto him tighter] Jimmy: Nah, 'cause I'm just really Jimmy: & you're Janis: I know Janis: I Janis: you know I more than like it Jimmy: you love it Jimmy: me Janis: [says it out loud 'cos needs to hear 'scuse how her voice clearly sounds rn everyone] Jimmy: [stops breathing himself for a sec there cos we can all imagine the voice thank you] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: keep talking Janis: ['what do you want me to say?'] Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: just Jimmy: whatever you can Janis: [trying to have a convo when you're being fucked like you don't need to stop every other second] Jimmy: how are you even Jimmy: I swear you're not real Janis: 'cos you want me to and I wanna make you happy Janis: and you Janis: clearly dreamed you up Jimmy: we've all dreamed this Jimmy: you're so fucking Janis: I dunno if these punters have but they are looking like are we serious right now Jimmy: they'll be thinking about it Jimmy: asleep or awake don't really matter Janis: [says his name in what shoulda been like omg but does not come out like that for obvious reasons] Jimmy: [a kissing moment cos he can't handle how hot she sounds] Janis: [thank god, muffle how much she wants to keep saying your name] Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: you have to type it 'cause I'm not gonna stop Jimmy: but someone will make us if we aren't careful Janis: yeah Janis: shit Janis: okay Janis: being good Jimmy: fuck it Jimmy: what's another pub we can't come back to Jimmy: cross it off the list Janis: you sure Jimmy: do what you want Jimmy: that's what I want Janis: You're just Janis: the way you look at me and touch me makes me feel Jimmy: I know Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: feel it Jimmy: I do too Janis: you know how close I am to cumming for you then Jimmy: I'm gonna make you right here I know that Jimmy: I don't care about anything else, okay Janis: [nods, biting her lip from the effort of not actually being the loudest bitch ever] Janis: I like you like this Jimmy: [kissing her and taking that lip into his mouth so extra like why you gotta suck on it like that boy stop] Janis: [moaning into his mouth like it's her job] Jimmy: [we'll let her & everyone else have that cos enough of a show happening without ALL the sound effects] Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you so much baby Jimmy: show me, girl Jimmy: You're so close Jimmy: just Janis: fuck me Janis: I wanna show you everything, Jim Jimmy: start by cumming for me Jimmy: I want that so bad you know Janis: [holding onto his neck for stability but also so she can push his head down slightly so he sees everything when she does] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: alright then Janis: you wanna see, you're gonna get the best view Janis: it's all because of you anyway Jimmy: one day you're gonna take all my compliments, I swear Jimmy: but right now Jimmy: just this Janis: oh Janis: oh my fucking God Jimmy: we can do this all day Jimmy: I'm so comfortable Jimmy: & you're so Janis: Jimmy please Jimmy: you asked so nicely then Jimmy: okay Janis: I can be nice for you Jimmy: let's be nice to each other Jimmy: I want that Janis: [nods 'cos past the point of being cohesive] Janis: so bad Jimmy: kiss me Jimmy: & I'll Janis: [without hesitation] Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: you're really Jimmy: the best girlfriend Janis: for you Janis: you deserve so much Jimmy: you do Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: [more kissing 'cos] Jimmy: [thank god cos it isn't just her being loud we ever have to worry about] Janis: fuck you're so hard baby Jimmy: I Janis: I need you Janis: real question is what would they rather, that you fuck me right here or if we go to the bathroom to blatantly do it there Jimmy: & my obvious answer is I don't know if I can move Janis: okay you stay really still then Janis: I'll make it happen Jimmy: fuck Janis: [does the thing] Jimmy: [straight up just quietly moans sorry everyone but like] Janis: now you can really feel Janis: this is exactly what you needed, isn't it Jimmy: [says yeah with his own voice moment again sorry everyone about] Janis: shit Janis: [holding his head for eye cotact again 'cos the 😍 are so real] Janis: me too Jimmy: I really love you Janis: show me, boy Jimmy: [obviously does cos does not need any encouragement at this point we're well past it] Janis: ['scuse them everyone] Janis: I actually can't breathe Jimmy: 🚭 tomorrow, yeah? Jimmy: [but is a smug face cos we know] Janis: [tells him to shut up but how much conviction are we managing tbh] Jimmy: [gives her look like I'm doing my best cos both trying not to be loud af rn] Janis: [kissing and then in his ear 'what have you done to me?'] Jimmy: everything I said I would Jimmy: wrote you a warning like Janis: I used to be so Jimmy: tell me Janis: so controlled Janis: but so Janis: bored Jimmy: [whispers 'you're welcome' in her ear and does more of his earlier kissing tricks all about there again] Janis: Baby Jimmy: [more kisses everywhere basically] Jimmy: Janis Janis: Jimmy you're so good Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you're Janis: if you say or do any more Jimmy: [whispers all the compliments and does all the things cos that bitch] Janis: [sorry everyone] Jimmy: [how do they keeping doing & getting away with this lol] Janis: I love you Jimmy: I love you too Jimmy: so much Janis: [is so dead, all snuggly and loved up] Jimmy: [likewise but after a bit hands her her drink cos they blatantly gotta drink up & go after all that] Janis: [down in fresher] Janis: oops Jimmy: [downs his own drink too] Jimmy: let's go Janis: [run lads run but hold hands 'cos soft] Jimmy: [flee the scene but make it cute] Janis: [is loling 'cos young and wild and free] Jimmy: [likewise & also 😍 cos could she look more fucking beautiful rn so cue 📷 artsy boy] Janis: [casually twirling down the street oh lads] Janis: where next? Jimmy: Are you hungry? Janis: [nods] Jimmy: there's your answer then Jimmy: [takes her to a place he likes cos more fussy than her we know] Janis: 🍽 Janis: right emoji Janis: aren't you proud Jimmy: [kisses her on the head like when you do a pat for a pisstake but also love] Janis: 😋 Jimmy: [orders a burger & a pint cos that's always a thing in so many places] Janis: [takes time 'cos when you're hungry but don't know what you want and also still lowkey distracted] Jimmy: [not helping at all by looking at her like] Janis: stop being hot for a second Janis: I'm starving here Jimmy: 🥇 always me Jimmy: soz Jimmy: like you said, never off Janis: well it's very inconsiderate of you Janis: [is grinning tho] Jimmy: [playful footsie] Jimmy: I'd order for you but not very #goals Janis: at least you won't have really pretentious taste like whatshisface Janis: doubledate dickhead Jimmy: let's call him Richard Jimmy: obvious reasons Janis: [lols] Janis: what a time Jimmy: it weren't all bad Janis: nah Janis: you were there how bad could it be Janis: even if my sister also was, not ideal Jimmy: [nudges her like shh don't make me 😳 but is smiley cos ah yeah] Jimmy: pink shirt weren't ideal either Jimmy: but you looked so fucking good Janis: n'awh Janis: you looked adorable 😉 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: why you couldn't keep your hands off me that, yeah Jimmy: adorable's your REAL type Jimmy: you're only pretending it's dickheads Janis: mhmm Janis: looked so 🤑 Jimmy: [lols] Janis: so gutted you took it back Janis: dress up for me again some time, yeah Janis: [orders] Jimmy: [gestures down at his clothes like excuse you I'm fancy rn] Janis: true Janis: but that ain't for me Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: tomorrow night then Jimmy: I'll think of summat Janis: bold of you to assume you're seeing me again Jimmy: that's how you're dumping me? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: don't worry, know you like more of a show Janis: give you that 'fore I go Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so good to you like that Jimmy: #ultimategoals you Janis: I know babe Janis: miss me when I'm gone Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: [but is looking at her like] Janis: [gives him a kiss] Jimmy: [makes it into more cos feelings & also flashbacks to what they just did] Janis: not getting kicked out of here before food, tah Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: 😇 me Janis: mhmm Janis: all know I'm the bad influence Janis: I'll take the title happily 😈💪 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with that confession babe Jimmy: #confirmed Janis: 😂 Janis: be all up in those DMs Jimmy: take over his twitter for him too Jimmy: ❌ them potential step mums before they get a foot in the door Jimmy: ✔ any 👵 for me though Janis: so what you're saying is Janis: you want me to be your momager Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll do it but I'm scooping up Ian's leftovers and 20% Jimmy: It'll tank your rep but I'm alright with it Janis: I'll keep your secret you keep mine Jimmy: What secrets have I got? Jimmy: open book me Janis: 👵👴 Janis: don't think the fan club would consider that very #goals Jimmy: 'course they would Jimmy: you're young & hot Jimmy: I love you anyway Jimmy: that's well #goals Janis: [is 😳 'cos always but smiling with it 'cos happy rn] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [kisses her again but soft] Janis: [food arrival saving us all] Jimmy: [attacks it cos hungry af boy] Janis: okay caveman Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: it's your fault I'm starving, girl Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: #ohtobeaburgeramirite Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [genuine 😍 'cos her fave sound] Jimmy: [gives her a chip cos that's love bitch] Janis: 💕 Janis: save it for the audience, mate Jimmy: [throws his unused napkin at her] Jimmy: better? Janis: charming Janis: [turns footsie into a kick] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: 💔 Janis: [rubs her feet up and down his leg] Janis: all better? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: play nice from now on and we won't have a problem yeah Jimmy: you Janis: I'm so nice Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: [lols again] Jimmy: hang on, I'll text my dad to #confirm Janis: he wishes Janis: we ain't there yet Jimmy: gutted for you both Janis: know right Janis: such a delight Janis: why he gotta play hard to get Jimmy: I'd say don't take it personal but it is Jimmy: soz Janis: 💔 Janis: c'est la vie Jimmy: trying to win the french teacher round too? Jimmy: I'll let her know Janis: 😂 Janis: she doesn't entirely hate me Janis: can do it Jimmy: challenge accepted, yeah Janis: write her an apology Janis: large print, obvs Jimmy: better yet come in and deliver it orally like she makes us when we're late Janis: ha Janis: un🍀 Jimmy: what your spanish teacher don't? Jimmy: or are you just 😇 Jimmy: & never late Janis: nah she's 'cool' and 'fit for a teacher' so Janis: clearly you weren't clued in when you were picking Janis: most our class is lads and somehow this hasn't been clocked Jimmy: 💔🎻🎻💔 Jimmy: I'll go see her monday Jimmy: get myself in Janis: err don't need you cramping my style Jimmy: don't worry you can keep all the lads Janis: 🥇 Janis: not worried Jimmy: alright dickhead Jimmy: I'm not fucking seducing every lad in your class to prove I can, like Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [throws some chips at her v mature] Janis: [lobs 'em back, children] Janis: I'm soz boys like me and not you Jimmy: you wish Jimmy: girls like you that's why we started this Janis: nah, they hate me, that's why Janis: get it right Jimmy: Mia's both Jimmy: they can be both Janis: 🙄 Janis: wow she's so complex Jimmy: must have been rigged that posh school not letting her in Janis: her mind Janis: such a genius Jimmy: bet her parents are well proud Janis: probably Janis: her dad is Janis: well ian'd probably like him, from what i've heard Jimmy: I'll invite 'em both round for tea then Janis: 😑 Janis: long as you leave with me Jimmy: not gonna leave with her, am I? Jimmy: be waiting outside the bathroom for half my life Jimmy: #glamorous Janis: sounds like she has bowel problems and you're just really rude Jimmy: 😂 Janis: seriously though Janis: even if you hate me, don't go there, that's the rules Jimmy: what about your sisters? They off limits too? Janis: I already told you that Janis: dickhead Jimmy: all of them? 💔💔💔 Jimmy: alright what about your brothers then? Janis: 😒 Jimmy: [says 'I don't want anyone else, dickhead' but there are kisses between each word like] Janis: yeah Janis: everyone rates us against each other it's just what happens Janis: used to it Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: & I'm serious Janis: alright Janis: [shrugs] Jimmy: [kisses her harder like BELIEVE ME BITCH] Jimmy: I love you, alright Janis: okay okay Janis: you had some chip still in your mouth then Janis: you gross Jimmy: I did it for you 'cause you LOVE sharing Janis: 😑 so funny you Janis: [does smile a bit though] Jimmy: [draws a smiley face with a bigger smile on the back of her hand] Janis: ['such a dork'] Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: tah Janis: 'course, baby Jimmy: where next, girl Janis: come home with me for a bit Janis: can get changed Janis: come back out later Jimmy: yeah okay Janis: 'cos I ain't getting in anywhere like this Jimmy: if I ruled the world, babe Jimmy: but too northern Jimmy: just a poor boy Janis: 💔💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: bus? Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll get it Janis: treat me when you get paid Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: let's 🚬 we're gonna be stuck on there ages Janis: just the 1 Janis: gonna get serious on you soon 💪 Jimmy: easy to say Jimmy: we'll see Jimmy: [winks] Janis: you know I can, boy Jimmy: ain't backed down from a challenge yet, I get it Janis: the only challenge is how annoying you are, babe Jimmy: 🥈 me Jimmy: you take #1 Janis: [nudges him] Janis: rude Janis: that's where you really shine Jimmy: 🥇 every time, baby Jimmy: [but kisses] Janis: don't sit next to me on this bus Jimmy: now who's rude Janis: 🥇 you said Janis: not gonna disappoint ya Jimmy: just a bit Jimmy: just this once Janis: 💯 or nothing, babe Janis: soz Jimmy: [gets down on his knees really dramatically all 'please disappoint me' cos he's a nerd] Janis: omg Janis: get up right now you massive idiot Jimmy: say yes first Janis: fine whatever Janis: just get up before a crowd gathers Jimmy: I didn't say, 'say fiine whatever first' Janis: you're taking the piss Janis: will leave you here and say it was the real thing Jimmy: you think I won't tell everyone I'm 💍 & you said no Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: I'm saying yes so get up Janis: [puts hand out like boy you better] Jimmy: [gets up, picks her up & carries her away] Janis: you know how bad for my rep you are Jimmy: the rep I gave you Janis: excuse you? Jimmy: it's a question, the one I gave you or the one you had Jimmy: 'cause I ain't soz for fucking up the controlled but bored one any time Janis: Hmm Jimmy: not an answer that Jimmy: if I'm fucking up the one I gave you, that's also bollocks Jimmy: so which one is it Janis: so what you're saying is, you can do no wrong? Janis: interesting 😏 Jimmy: if that's what you heard, I'll have that Janis: idk as long as you're off the ground I ain't arsed really Jimmy: [picks her up again and spins her round] Jimmy: & you Janis: you're having me or your gonna try and make it so I never have to touch the ground again Jimmy: maybe both Jimmy: let's see Janis: [is 😏] Jimmy: [kisses] Janis: what am I gonna do with you, honestly Jimmy: stay with me Janis: 'course Janis: not walking home Jimmy: [🚬 but sharing cos it's a mood] Janis: did you meet any of the people you're gonna be working with then Jimmy: nah Jimmy: throwing me in blind tomorrow Janis: just forward me the deets of the hot ones Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: just the girls, yeah Janis: piss off Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: [is😒] Jimmy: I'm in to open up, you want me to wake you up Jimmy: I know your god's all about the rest then Janis: nah wake me Janis: can go for a run Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: take the 🐶 for me Jimmy: if not on that one, in a bit Janis: yeah sure Janis: she can keep up 👍 Jimmy: I was gonna say tah but Jimmy: piss off instead Janis: 😘 Janis: wanna do lunch? Jimmy: depends is it gonna be 🍱 Janis: 🙄 Janis: LET.IT.GO Janis: are you really gonna turn down a chance to make me something? Jimmy: can't if you're a paying customer Janis: 😂 Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: not just a pretty face Jimmy: did help me get the job though Janis: [squishes his cheeks] Janis: how exactly do you drop hints you're fit on your CV Jimmy: it's in the hobbies Jimmy: like how you're such an athlete Janis: ahh Janis: and Pete's band Janis: 😎 Janis: I get it 👍 for the tip Jimmy: not that you need it, rich girl Jimmy: but Jimmy: that helpful me Janis: shut up Janis: not like my parents just give me everything Janis: can get a job if I wanna Jimmy: never said you couldn't Jimmy: you just don't have to Jimmy: so why would you Janis: so I can buy things Janis: or save Janis: same reasons as everyone else Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: well you'll be able to write a decent CV now so Janis: tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [on ze bus] Jimmy: what we doing tonight then? Jimmy: decided Janis: still thinking Janis: but it's a surprise anyway Jimmy: alright Janis: gotta be something worthy this fair city can offer Jimmy: if you say so Janis: don't put a downer on it 'fore I've even decided, thank you Jimmy: life & soul me Jimmy: [isn't] Janis: what's wrong Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: like I said Janis: okay then Jimmy: just Janis: you can tell me Jimmy: it's bollocks but Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: tomorrow Janis: you nervous? Janis: that's normal ain't it, anyone would be Jimmy: but it ain't normal for your dad to be a massive dickhead about something that's Jimmy: like I said, I don't know Janis: a good thing, yeah Janis: it's his normal Janis: still don't make it right though Janis: what did he say then Jimmy: he just Jimmy: gets in my head Jimmy: [shrugs but we know] Janis: yeah Janis: least he's good at something Janis: [squeezes his shoulder] Jimmy: [puts his head on hers forlornly] Janis: [strokes his hair] Janis: it will be alright Janis: any time away from him Janis: yeah Janis: and I'll be keeping an eye on the dog and kids Janis: no worries Janis: it is a good thing, like you said, any excuse with him init so fuck it Jimmy: & you're coming to see me, yeah Janis: yeah Janis: you want me to, right? Jimmy: I need you to Jimmy: for tomorrow Janis: then I'll be there Jimmy: [kisses her cos she's the best ever good day] Janis: [ily] Jimmy: [snuggles cos why not] Janis: alright now? Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorry Janis: nah, don't be Janis: not like I didn't know but Janis: distractions more fun than chatting about it ain't it Jimmy: & I don't wanna put a downer on everything actually Jimmy: that's not Janis: I know Janis: don't worry, honestly Jimmy: I'll be more fun in a bit Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: probably Janis: you've been plenty fun Janis: we really can do whatever you want Janis: that's the whole point Jimmy: I just wanna forget about it Jimmy: him Jimmy: that bollocks Janis: 👍 Janis: let's do that then Janis: easy Jimmy: [cue bus make out session] Janis: you know I'd do a lot worse things than walk your dog and come to lunch with you yeah Jimmy: you offering to kill Ian? Janis: [lols] Janis: exactly Janis: say the word Jimmy: I can't let you, I can't fuck you in prison unless we're married & we already said that's a no go Janis: that's so unfair Janis: who's made up that rule Jimmy: a hopeless romantic maybe Jimmy: fuck knows Jimmy: [is smiling a little bit] Jimmy: so what else would you do? Janis: clearly nothing illegal Janis: although I wouldn't get caught, have some faith Janis: but idk Janis: easy to say anything you needed Janis: but you don't know 'til you have to do you Jimmy: I know, baby Jimmy: you're SUCH an athlete Jimmy: 💕😍 Jimmy: [more genuine smile] Jimmy: I need nowt but you right now Jimmy: & tomorrow Janis: yeah, so don't get on my bad side Janis: w your 📷 neither Janis: done then Jimmy: you don't have a bad side with my 📷 Janis: shh Jimmy: [takes a pic & shows her it like see here's the proof] Jimmy: you don't Janis: you're biased Jimmy: the camera can't be Jimmy: you're so beautiful, alright Janis: [very 😳] Jimmy: [soft kisses on her blushes and just everywhere tbh] Janis: ['Jimmy'] Jimmy: [more kisses cos who doesn't love a name drop] Janis: you really are Janis: nice Janis: you know Jimmy: you're nice to me so I'm nice to you Janis: yeah Janis: it's a deal Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [more snuggles] Janis: [the look of love] Jimmy: [backacha] Janis: you told Cass you got it Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: she wants to come scope the place Jimmy: see if it's 😎 Janis: 'course Janis: only seal of approval that counts these days Jimmy: I already know she's gonna tell me it's shit Jimmy: whatever she really thinks Janis: 😂 Janis: kids Jimmy: don't let her come with you though Jimmy: not day 1 Janis: 'course not Janis: probably doing loads way cooler things anyway, God Jimmy: course Jimmy: out being #goals with that boy like she invented it instead of us Janis: cheek Janis: you're all about #respectingyourelders tho Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: that what we're calling it Jimmy: I'll let Doris know Janis: 🤢 Janis: [does the fake vom thing] Jimmy: like I said, so beautiful you Janis: 😂 Janis: even without wrinkles Jimmy: impressive, isn't it? Jimmy: well done, babe Janis: you alright Janis: even though you don't play bass Jimmy: that you know of Jimmy: could've been the best bassist in the north Janis: if you've got hidden talents Janis: why you hiding them from me? 🤔 Jimmy: what are you always going on about, keeping things #fresh Janis: oh I get it Janis: gonna reveal 'em one by one instead Janis: so like you, show-off Jimmy: might do Jimmy: stick around & find out Janis: edge of my seat, babe Janis: [does, 'cos dork] Jimmy: [pulls her off her seat and onto his lap cos it's been what like a whole minute since she was last there lol] Jimmy: got you where I want you then Janis: oh Janis: [cue makeout sesh] Jimmy: kissing you is Jimmy: it's like Janis: please only finish that sentence if you're gonna say something nice or I'll have to go die Jimmy: it's like I'm not breathing when we're not & then you kiss me back & I can Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: just don't die is what I'm saying really Janis: [gives him loads of extra kisses] Janis: don't you either Jimmy: I can't promise that going back to slinging overpriced ☕ won't 💀 me Janis: 🎻 Janis: I'll keep you going Jimmy: promise Janis: promise Janis: [puts hand out[ Jimmy: [same] Janis: don't go dying Janis: make me look bad now Jimmy: easier to just ghost you the standard way Janis: please Janis: like fuck it is Jimmy: don't challenge me Jimmy: I don't actually wanna Janis: shut up then Jimmy: make me then Janis: you ain't getting kisses for that motherfucker Jimmy: you've fucked up on this whole real girlfriend thing Jimmy: I can get kisses whenever I want Jimmy: that's the deal Janis: steady on Janis: not that much of a virgin thanks creep Jimmy: [lols] Janis: been warned about boys like you Jimmy: probably should've listened, girl Janis: nah Janis: [the eye contact] Jimmy: [holds it but then is just shamelessly looking at her lips like is he aware we'll never know] Janis: do it Jimmy: what Janis: you know what Jimmy: say it Janis: why are you so Janis: [still staring] Jimmy: go on Janis: bloody difficult Janis: [but out loud 'kiss me'] Jimmy: [does & it's everything] Janis: why do you have to make me work for it 😏 Jimmy: 'cause you were so bored before Jimmy: no going back Janis: ugh Jimmy: that ain't the reaction a kiss from me deserves Jimmy: [kisses her again & it's even more] Jimmy: try again Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: Janis Janis: [makes noise of frustration] Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: I hate you so much Jimmy: then show me Janis: [biting on love bites and not being soft with her kisses] Jimmy: only that much? Jimmy: come on Janis: [angry noises and grinding her hips into his roughly] Janis: I can't begin to show you how much I hate you here Jimmy: sounds like an excuse to me Jimmy: maybe you just love me so much Jimmy: cute 💕 Janis: don't challenge me Jimmy: it's alright, I know you can't do it Jimmy: [gives her a soft kiss for the pisstake cos that dickhead] Janis: I swear to God Jimmy: do something Jimmy: even if it's drag me off this bus Janis: [presses stop button] Janis: alright then Jimmy: [eye contact until the bus stops] Janis: remember I warned you Jimmy: remember I ignored it Janis: remind yourself Jimmy: I won't need to Jimmy: I'll have all the reminders I need Janis: [getting off the bus like bye bus driver #gutted] Jimmy: [make it more obvious though you two] Janis: come on, can go in here Janis: [at least middle of nowhere means this is almost acceptable] Jimmy: [follows her giving her such a look] Janis: ['stop looking at me like that'] Jimmy: [doesn't] Janis: [comes up and puts her hands over his eyes which would blatantly devolve into sexy playfight] Jimmy: I let you win Janis: Well, I might let you cum as well, if you do what I want Jimmy: [asks her what she wants out loud] Janis: [pushes him on his knees like he was earlier] Janis: don't disappoint me Jimmy: no challenge in that but I accept Janis: stop talking Jimmy: [does the lock & key thing over his mouth cos still a nerd but then it's all business] Janis: [keeping his head in place and moving him as necessary, 'good boy'] Jimmy: [has one job rn & you know he's doing it 👍] Janis: ['stop'] Jimmy: [obviously does & has a bemused look on his face like okay what now] Janis: ['okay get up' and then starts walking] Jimmy: [just following all these instructions bless him] Janis: [when she realizes he ain't said nothing 'you can talk again, if you want to, by the way'] Jimmy: tah Jimmy: see how I feel Jimmy: might do, might not do Janis: your prerogative either way Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [is 🚬] Jimmy: [lights up too cos yolo] Janis: reall should hit up the ginger Janis: y* Jimmy: remind me on monday Jimmy: busy day tomorrow Janis: 👍 Jimmy: forgot her name again Jimmy: hope she likes the one I give her Janis: no doubt Janis: it's your forte Jimmy: 💕 Janis: wonder who she's with Janis: what cult, like Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: hope the colour suits me Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: what am I on about, 'course it will Jimmy: what colour don't Janis: thank christ, 'cos you still ain't allowed to kill yourself so Janis: have fun getting outta the mass suicide Jimmy: I'll get creative Jimmy: artist like so Janis: going above and beyond for that A Jimmy: nerd, me Jimmy: you're always chatting that Janis: you usually disagree Jimmy: maybe in that one class you've got a point Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: [shrugs back] Jimmy: [casually blowing smoke rings & generally pissing about] Janis: how'd'ya do that then Jimmy: [shows her] Janis: I'll practice Jimmy: it won't take much Jimmy: nowt hard about it Janis: how long you smoked Jimmy: since my mum left Jimmy: found a pack in her stuff Janis: [nods] Jimmy: you? Janis: I mean I don't Janis: but I guess the first time I tried it would've been Janis: idek, young, tryna hang with the older kids, you know how it is Jimmy: hate to be that dickhead but you are right now Jimmy: you do Janis: yeah but only when you're about Janis: it ain't the same Jimmy: it ain't no different Jimmy: you're still doing it Janis: not a habit though Janis: what does it matter anyway Jimmy: [shrugs again] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what's your issue Janis: what's yours Jimmy: not an answer Janis: [shrugs] Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: let's leave it yeah Janis: we don't need this today Jimmy: leave what Jimmy: what's wrong? Janis: I don't know Jimmy: what did I do? Janis: nothing Janis: it's not you Jimmy: that's the shit that gets said when it is you though Janis: it's the shit that gets said when I don't wanna talk about it Janis: dunno how Janis: I'm sorry Janis: forget it happened Jimmy: how? Jimmy: proper question Janis: easy Janis: just rewind, what were we talking about before it went shit and weird Jimmy: scroll up Jimmy: I don't know Janis: we could just start over now Jimmy: go on then Janis: why me Jimmy: you wanna Jimmy: your idea Janis: no point if you don't let's just Janis: walk Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [awkward silence] Jimmy: [smoking like it's his job] Janis: this is stupid isn't it Jimmy: I ain't gonna make you chat to me if you don't want to Janis: it was you who said you didn't want to Jimmy: I never Janis: yes you did Janis: literally gave it 👍 Jimmy: spouting bollocks like nowt's wrong ain't chatting Janis: that's all chatting is Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: I don't wanna chat to anyone else I wanna chat to you Jimmy: & you know how I feel about that shit, I've said it Janis: I can't be real right now Jimmy: then don't Jimmy: I ain't asked you to fill no silences Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you should still stay at ours Janis: get a decent night's sleep Jimmy: I weren't thinking of staying nowhere else Jimmy: now I am Janis: well don't Janis: just said you should stay Jimmy: nah you said I should 'still' Jimmy: that means you don't want me to but Janis: It means even though I can't Janis: I don't know Janis: function Janis: right now Janis: I still want you to stay Jimmy: you really think I would leave you Jimmy: like this Janis: don't be dramatic about it though Janis: I'm fine I just needto Jimmy: what Janis: go Janis: just mentally just for like an hour or something Janis: I need to not be here Jimmy: do it then Janis: but Janis: it's mental Janis: and you need me right now and there's no time for this to get in the way and Jimmy: I need you all the time, it makes no difference Janis: that's the problem Jimmy: not the first time I've been or been called that Jimmy: so like I said Janis: not you, not what I meant Jimmy: it's what you said Jimmy: so listen to what I'm saying Janis: you don't get it Jimmy: I get checking out Jimmy: been there, done it Jimmy: so go Janis: I fucking can't Jimmy: bollocks can't you Janis: I can't it don't work no more Jimmy: what will? Jimmy: do that instead Janis: I don't know Janis: if I knew we wouldn't be here Jimmy: where the fuck are we? Janis: I'm scared Janis: all the time Jimmy: why? Jimmy: what is it? Janis: you've broken it and I can't do it anymore and that's okay like nearly all of time because you're here but sometimes you aren't and then one day you won't be and what do I do if I still can't do it then 'cos it's just going to be even worse and I can't Jimmy: [holds onto her] Jimmy: I'm here Jimmy: & I'm not going anywhere Janis: but you will Janis: it's a stupid promise to even have to make Janis: people leave, end of Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: I love you so it's an easy promise, alright Janis: you were joking but you really did fuck up all the control I had Janis: now I don't know what I have, that was it Jimmy: you've got me Jimmy: this Janis: it's Janis: terrifying, I told you Jimmy: 'cause it's real Jimmy: you think that control wasn't just all bollocks Jimmy: you have something to lose now Jimmy: so do I Jimmy: but we're not gonna, okay Jimmy: just win Jimmy: that's it Janis: 'course it was but it was Janis: easy Janis: and no one could get hurt but me Janis: I don't care about me but I do about you Janis: so much Janis: too much Jimmy: it was safe but you are with me Jimmy: & I am with you Jimmy: I trust you, you know that Janis: I trust you Janis: but I don't know why you trust me when I'm this Janis: and have been this so many times already Jimmy: what am I if not that too? Janis: no Janis: you're better Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm scared, I'm fucked up, I'm everything you reckon you are Jimmy: it's doing shit anyway that's what's better Jimmy: keeping this anyway Jimmy: we can be the ones who don't leave Janis: yeah? Jimmy: remember, we're not gonna ruin it Jimmy: you said Janis: I know Janis: it's easy to say things though Jimmy: let me show you how easy it is to do then Jimmy: just come with me Jimmy: keep going Jimmy: & I'll prove it Janis: [nods] Janis: okay Jimmy: [takes her hand so they can keep walking how symbolic boy] Janis: you know I love you Jimmy: [nods] Janis: good Jimmy: you know you can tell me anything, yeah? Jimmy: or nowt Jimmy: if that's what you want Janis: I know I wish I could Janis: sometimes Janis: then other times I wish I never had to speak about any of it again Jimmy: have it either way, I mean it Jimmy: I'm still here Janis: I know Janis: same for you Jimmy: I'm sorry for being a dickhead Janis: when Janis: actual question, not a diss Jimmy: at any point Janis: I like it Janis: you Janis: I like you Jimmy: yeah but if you didn't like me any time from when we got off the bus til now 'cause I was being a dickhead then, that's alright Jimmy: & I'm sorry Janis: you weren't though Janis: seriously Jimmy: I could've been Jimmy: we don't know when it got weird Janis: I do but I don't wanna Janis: it's okay Janis: actually was not you Jimmy: okay Janis: I promise, yeah Jimmy: [picks her up so he can hold her & walk at the same time] Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you Janis: but if you make me cry I am gonna have to die sorry Janis: don't make the rules Jimmy: don't count if I'm not looking Jimmy: very focused right now me Janis: nah, I don't, I can't Janis: but I'm pleased you're taking your job here seriously Jimmy: when we get to yours I'll throw an onion at you or whatever Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: [actual little lol] Janis: you're silly Jimmy: you're heavy Janis: bit rude but Janis: [hops down] Jimmy: Oi, I'm trying to take my job here seriously Jimmy: come back Janis: I don't want to permanently injure you Janis: not paying off that claim, soz Jimmy: 1. have some faith please Jimmy: 2. gimme that get out of work excuse tah Janis: 1. I do but apparently am size of whale so Janis: 2. you already owe me dinner so Janis: 3. soz x2 Jimmy: 1. piss off/shut up Jimmy: 2. I ain't that close to the breadline calm down Janis: 1. but I ain't even filling silences rn rude Janis: 2. have you seen me? clearly can put it away Jimmy: eat as much coal as you want, babe Jimmy: delicious & nutritious Janis: don't people like Mia actually do that Jimmy: do they? Jimmy: what the fuck Janis: maybe I've got the wrong thing Janis: like pumping your stomach at home though, when you think about it Jimmy: serious question, do you think she knows the calories of cum in case of emergencies Jimmy: tweet her Janis: [snorts] Janis: I have no doubt Janis: sure Gracie has tried to tell me before Jimmy: I doubt she's putting anything in her mouth but their skulls at the end but Jimmy: gotta be prepared Janis: bet she was actually in the guides Janis: any chance to feel like head bitch Jimmy: you ain't talking to her but I'm gonna need to quiz Grace as #1 bestie for life Janis: she ain't talking to me Jimmy: ain't that same difference Jimmy: or is it like that girl code bollocks again Janis: it's completely different Janis: I ain't never talked to her that's the same as ever Janis: she was always chatting shit to me though Jimmy: back chatting it to Mia again instead Jimmy: what a step down Jimmy: bet she's a riveting girl to have a convo with Janis: clearly they've got enough in common Jimmy: how long do you seriously reckon before I'm serving them all iced coffees again? Janis: if it's tomorrow I will have to leave Jimmy: if it's tomorrow I'll have to 💀 Jimmy: I know it's breaking my promise but Janis: understandable Jimmy: I'll keep the one where I'm a ghost fucking you though Janis: 💕 Janis: you say the sweetest things Jimmy: #maybeIwasthelastofthegreatromanticsallalong Jimmy: #plottwist Jimmy: #Ionlythoughtitwasyou Janis: not gonna say I #calledit but Janis: so soft, you Jimmy: you fucked up there Jimmy: you meant hard Jimmy: 💪 Janis: only when you're fucking me from beyond the grave Jimmy: [lols] Jimmy: who says the sweetest things really though 💕😍 Janis: when I stopped you Janis: earlier, you know Janis: it wasn't 'cos of you Janis: or 'cos I even wanted to Janis: I just wanted to prove to myself I still had control Janis: how stupid is that Janis: but you should know that, I don't want you reckoning you did anything Janis: and the more I'm thinking on it the more I realize that was kinda a fucked thing to do to you too so Janis: sorry as well Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: & it's not stupid Jimmy: things have changed for me too 'cause of you Jimmy: neither of us were expecting nowt like this to happen Janis: yeah Janis: seriously Jimmy: It's alright you know Jimmy: to be scared Jimmy: to wanna go back Janis: I don't Janis: this is better in every way Janis: it's the idea of having to go back after Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: I told you, I'm not leaving Janis: [nods] Jimmy: [kisses her the way he did earlier like believe me bitch & repeats it out loud with eye contact like am I lying, no] Janis: [the most intense kissing ever] Jimmy: [breathlessly says 'there's nowt I wouldn't do for you, tell me how to prove it & I will' with more intense eye contact] Janis: ['you don't have to..you have, you are'] Jimmy: [more of the most intense kissing ever] Janis: [keeps saying 'I'm sorry' over and over 'cos so shamed] Jimmy: [keeps saying ILY to try and cancel it out cos don't be] Janis: [let her gain some composure so they can go back to Cali's] Janis: okay, I'm ready Jimmy: [handholding & walking] Janis: you ain't gonna worry about me are you Janis: tomorrow Janis: you gotta focus Jimmy: I'm gonna think about you Jimmy: but that's just part of the deal Janis: no more than usual and that's alright Jimmy: easy to say when you don't know how much I think about you usually Janis: Babe Jimmy: It's alright, I want you in my head all the time Jimmy: better than him being Janis: [squeezes his hand] Janis: not much of a compliment but I'll take it Jimmy: that's a first Janis: ['shh' and pushing into him, gently tho] Jimmy: tomorrow Jimmy: you can stay as long as you want Jimmy: you know Janis: Yeah Janis: not trying to distract you though Jimmy: I don't have to focus to make a cappuccino Jimmy: or nowt else on the menu Jimmy: stay Jimmy: not 'cause I'm worried just 'cause Jimmy: I want you to Janis: okay Janis: after I've walked the loml, of course Jimmy: course Jimmy: #priorities Janis: bring her in for a babyccino Jimmy: [rolls his eyes but not in a shady way] Jimmy: this is the girlfriend I've got Janis: Twix? Janis: Knew you loved her really Janis: it's mutual Jimmy: you wish, dickhead Jimmy: she ain't sleeping in our bed Janis: we barely fit so I don't reckon she'd wanna Jimmy: you'd really let that stop either of you, would you? Jimmy: I don't reckon Janis: nah Janis: it's the only time I get you properly alone Janis: not gonna share, soz Jimmy: you can have me anywhere Jimmy: don't worry about that Janis: yeah but everyone else is always around too Janis: know how I feel about other people Jimmy: you want alone time, I'll find it for us Jimmy: we can bin school off for a start Janis: yeah Janis: just not tuesday Janis: cheerleading duties, remember Jimmy: I ain't forgotten Jimmy: big plans Jimmy: 💙 Janis: love you dork Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I'm too 😎 for school Jimmy: & you Janis: 😏 Janis: k babes Jimmy: never type that to me again Jimmy: I thought your sister had entered the chat Jimmy: shit myself Janis: 😂 Janis: not the sister you were planning on next I take it Jimmy: she's bottom of my list Jimmy: rather fuck your dickhead brother over her Janis: lucky/shame I ain't talking to her to say 💔 Janis: can let Pablo know he's well in though 👍 Jimmy: if you wanna use that as a ice breaker with her, go on Jimmy: & yeah pass my number on once I've done the top of the list, tah Janis: meant to work your way up, you know Jimmy: if I start at the top & have enough fun I don't need to bother with the bottom though Janis: not just a pretty face, you, I remember Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: always on too, remember Janis: yeah Janis: memories not that bad Janis: soz babe Jimmy: plenty of time for you to go downhill Jimmy: not worried Janis: I'm gonna age like fine wine just to piss you off Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [smiling 'cos forever fave] Jimmy: let's stay in Janis: yeah? Janis: you sure Jimmy: don't you want to? Janis: no, I was just thinking, whatever you want Janis: don't feel like we can't go somewhere 'cos I've had a wobble like Jimmy: I don't feel like that Janis: well you know I want alone time so Jimmy: you can have it then Janis: [kisses his cheek] Janis: you gotta be well-rested anyway Jimmy: [wipes it off but is smiling too] Jimmy: you saying I can't handle my drink? Jimmy: bit rude coming from you Janis: I'm saying straight to bed for you Jimmy: keeping it 👵💕 for me, yeah Jimmy: appreciate that Janis: duh Janis: know you so well Jimmy: 👍 Janis: my Dad'll probably wanna cook you something Janis: he's extra like that Jimmy: alright by me Jimmy: long as you tell me what it is Jimmy: before I put it in my mouth Janis: 😂 Janis: okay deal Jimmy: [puts his hand out] Janis: [shakes but plls him in for snugs too] Jimmy: [a soft moment] Janis: [ily] Jimmy: I know Janis: sound more enthused 😏 Jimmy: [kisses her and repeats the I know out loud] Janis: Better Jimmy: [kisses her again to do even better] Janis: 😍 Janis: okay, you're the best Jimmy: you Janis: ['you'] Jimmy: [more soft snuggles for another moment] Janis: [stroking his cheek and look of love always] Janis: okay, let's move or we'll die here Jimmy: [more walking & handholding cos gotta get somewhere] Janis: thanks for not freaking out back there Jimmy: you've never at me Jimmy: my bollocks Jimmy: so I weren't gonna do that to you Janis: guess you're just pretty normie, yeah Janis: [shoulder nudge] Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: [nudges her back] Janis: it's okay, you'll always be a weirdo to me 💕 Jimmy: tah nerd 💕 Janis: soz can't hear you 😎 Jimmy: [says 'I said, tah you massive nerd' in her ear] Janis: [lols 'cos tickles and be more of a nerd yourself babe] Jimmy: [is 😍 cos she's so cute] Janis: how do you exist Janis: still think you're not real tbh Jimmy: I've actually been a ghost this whole time Jimmy: surprise Janis: [snorts] Janis: okay, actual decent plottwist babe Jimmy: nobody else can see me & you've looked fucking mental this whole time Janis: ugh Janis: well fuck you very much, casper Jimmy: it's why they're all chatting shit about you, didn't wanna do a dramatic reveal like this but Janis: well yeah, I would be too if someone was having that enthusiastic a wank in the toilets, like Janis: no coming back from this, honestly Jimmy: [lols again] Janis: not even like you're a cool vampire boyfriend so you can turn me too now you've fucked my life Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: who's your money on for sparkly vampire of our school then Janis: I need to know asap Jimmy: Mia obviously Jimmy: never eats Jimmy: looks 1000 years old Janis: shit Janis: you have a point and I'm so Jimmy: you've really fucked yourself for immortal life, girl Jimmy: stuck with the 👻 Janis: 's alright Janis: gone off the idea Janis: already sick of her, I can't do forever Janis: breaking her cold dead 💔 Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: you'd make a good vampire Jimmy: always biting already you Janis: [😳] Janis: shut up Janis: you like it Jimmy: do you want me to shut up or tell you how much I like it? Jimmy: can't do both Janis: just don't lie Jimmy: I don't Janis: good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you do though, don't you Jimmy: I just said Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: like it, I mean Janis: you'd say if you didn't Jimmy: course Jimmy: but you'd be able to tell anyway Janis: yeah Janis: 'course Jimmy: I'd be there like Jimmy: [does a grumpy face] Janis: I mean Janis: that is adorable but I can piss you off in so many different ways outside the bedroom so Jimmy: just Jimmy: don't second guess yourself, alright Jimmy: there's no need Janis: okay Janis: good Janis: 'cos you gotta tell me, I can't be going out into the world with no skills Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you know you've got skills Jimmy: you're so fucking good Janis: you can shh now Jimmy: you can't fish for compliments if you won't take 'em Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I wasn't fishing for fucking compliments 😑 Janis: shut up Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: & just take 'em Janis: [let's say they there and she walking inside like boy bye] Jimmy: really Jimmy: 👌 Janis: yeah Janis: come find me when you're gonna be nice again Jimmy: you come find me when you work out I were being Janis: sure Janis: calling me an attention seeker is dead nice Jimmy: I didn't Janis: 👌 Janis: did though so Jimmy: you know that ain't what I meant or what I think Janis: whatever Jimmy: do you know that or not? Janis: it don't matter then Jimmy: that's not an answer to a yes or no question Janis: just come find me Jimmy: just gimme your answer Janis: well I don't know Janis: I hadn't thought about it 'til you said it so Jimmy: either I'm that dickhead or I'm not so Janis: you said you ain't so you ain't Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: I can say owt I want Jimmy: what are you saying Janis: why'd you have to say it like that Janis: dickhead Janis: but I guess I know you didn't mean it Janis: I mean, I believe you Jimmy: why do you have to take it like that Jimmy: you're a dickhead Jimmy: can't take a compliment but you'll grab all the insults that ain't there Janis: erm how do you want me to take 'fishing for compliments' exactly Jimmy: how I meant it Jimmy: only pissing about Janis: fine Janis: whatever just forget about it Jimmy: stop telling me to forget about everything Janis: well I don't wanna talk about it now it's pointless Jimmy: then just say that Janis: well you know that's what I meant so now you're just being pedantic for the sake of Jimmy: & you're using fancy words for the sake of, rich girl Janis: please Jimmy: what are you trying to start a fight with me for? Janis: I ain't Janis: sorry I didn't find it funny alright Janis: come on Jimmy: you come on Jimmy: I don't live here Jimmy: I ain't just chasing around like I do Janis: really Jimmy: taking issue with that too now? Janis: yeah because you want me to Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: I want you to come back Janis: youcan't just drop it you have to keep going Jimmy: what Janis: I don't make you chase me 'round Janis: that's bullshit Jimmy: you're literally telling me to right now Janis: I'm telling you to come to my room Janis: you know where it is Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [arrives] Janis: ['hey'] Jimmy: [just sits on the end of her bed like] Janis: you not talking to me Jimmy: are you gonna keep talking owt I say the wrong way Janis: [sighs but real not in a passive-aggressive way] Janis: I can't help how I take shit any more than you can help how you say it Janis: I can't say any more than I believe that you didn't mean it, alright Janis: it's too late to not misunderstand, yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: actual alright or shut the fuck up alright Jimmy: alright like I want it to be Jimmy: so just come sit with me Janis: [does, puts her head on his shoulder] Janis: why's it so hard sometimes Jimmy: [plays with her hair cos fave] Jimmy: I told you, I'm fucked up like you reckon you are Janis: reckon Janis: how are you reckoning any different, boy Jimmy: 'Cause Jimmy: I just do Janis: [lols but obvs not a happy one] Janis: sweet Jimmy: you're loads of things to me Jimmy: fucked up ain't one Jimmy: my ex was, I am Jimmy: you're Jimmy: that ain't how I see you Janis: not gonna argue about this as well Janis: I don't want to Janis: I am but if you wanna think otherwise then that's alright with me Jimmy: what do you want then Janis: just Janis: be with each other Janis: normal Jimmy: [snuggles] Janis: ['I'm sorry, again'] Jimmy: ['me too'] Janis: [saying things like 'it's okay, we're okay' over and over but also asking as well as telling, like] Jimmy: [all the reassuring touches & nods and 'yeahs'] Janis: [they both need so much reassuring bye] Janis: I love you so much Jimmy: [says it out loud for her] Janis: [casual desperate kissing 'cos you overwhelmed[ Jimmy: [we know that'd go on for a while] Janis: [also says it out loud] Jimmy: [just doing the whole trying to pull her closer thing the whole time cos clingy af] Janis: ['stay'] Jimmy: ['I promise']

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jimmy: ? Janis: Save you the details, want to brain my sister as per Janis: but I need to ask you for a huge favour on her behalf Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: hang on, let 'em play for a sec Jimmy: ... Jimmy: alright, go on Janis: 😑 Janis: don't you start Janis: well she's got a date that she doesn't want to go on, but is gonna 'cos it'll piss Mia off/potentially show her up Janis: aware this is like a bad, really bad, teen drama-edy but hold on Janis: but like she really doesn't want to go 'cos she's her and he sounds like a twat tbf so she wants to double-date it Janis: which, undeniably, would piss Mia off more so bonus if we can deal being around her Janis: we don't have to stay ages, do it for the 'gram and bounce, old skool Jimmy: 1. I was only taking the piss out of her, calm down Jimmy: 2. this is bollocks but I heard you at piss Mia off Jimmy: 3. where & when? Janis: 1. this is how she's got me rn soz like tread carefully boy 🐍 Janis: 2. I know Janis: 3. [Place and time] Janis: Don't worry, I'm paying if he don't offer, he's some posh kid Mia wants on/has been on, apparently Jimmy: I dunno where that place is but it sounds fancy as shit Jimmy: outfit crisis like Janis: Am I gonna have to talk you down in the changing room too, like Janis: well I've been instructed to look 🔥 so she's either #over you or trusts you to bring it, which is rude Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: calm me down in there if you wanna Jimmy: that'd be hot Jimmy: I always look 🔥 & this whole town knows it babe 👌 Janis: Might make shopping bearable, give you that Janis: 😏 Don't disagree Jimmy: let's go shopping then Janis: Easily persuaded, you 😂 Jimmy: you don't wanna? sounds fake Janis: Didn't say that Janis: Called you easy, little bit Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Awh baby Janis: so mean to you Jimmy: 😭 me Jimmy: enjoy your lattes everyone, nowt to see Janis: Such a 💔 mental image Janis: hope Pete is there to comfort you Janis: that's a sexy one Jimmy: your shout for 💔 'cause your boyfriend ain't in today Janis: Nooooooo Janis: won't bother coming in now Janis: what's the point Jimmy: I knew that's why you weren't rushing Jimmy: obvious you Janis: You know Janis: 'til I get his number, gotta keep you sweet Jimmy: keep me sweet enough I'll give you it Janis: How sweet is that then? Jimmy: I'd have to find where the manager's left everyone's contact details Jimmy: least a few sugars Janis: 😏 keep it in mind Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: let me know Janis: bit mad you couldn't even pretend you're having a torrid affair with him but still like ya Jimmy: bit mad you want me to instead of being jealous but still like you too Jimmy: suppose Janis: I can be jealous Janis: jealous and aroused Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll keep it in mind Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: what are you up to actually Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: what are you doing? Jimmy: other than plotting Gracie's murder Janis: Literally that's all I've got done today thanks to her 😑 Janis: one minute I'm helping her find outfits, the next she's telling me to fuck off basically Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: must be catching Jimmy: Cass is in a right strop Janis: Cass no, don't let the side down Janis: you know why or just 'cos? Jimmy: the prospect of family dinner ain't got none of us full of the joys Jimmy: but I reckon she's mostly bored Jimmy: she ain't done nowt this hol really 'cause I'm always working & leaving her to look after Bobs Janis: Yeah, makes sense Janis: You Dad needs to find a proper childminder, like Jimmy: she used to be out with her mates loads before Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: can't be the dickhead arranging playdates for a 12 year old Janis: Well, Grace did say she'd babysit for you as thanks Janis: so if she met Bobs and he wasn't completely terrified of her Janis: Cass could go out for a bit, do her own thing Jimmy: that'd be decent Janis: I could also go round there, more reg like, take him and Twix out to the park Janis: even if it's like an hour, better than nothing, right? Janis: not like your Dad is there to nope it so Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: actually Jimmy: You're just Janis: It's no big, you're the one actually working Jimmy: yeah but they ain't your siblings Jimmy: only your 🐶 Janis: Yeah but you know, they're alright, as are you Janis: it's only for the rest of the hols anyways Jimmy: steady on, gonna make me fall in love with you Janis: 😏 idiot Jimmy: I put a spare key out so you can go whenever you want Jimmy: Cass has lost 'bout 4 since we've been here Jimmy: reckon she only does it to piss my dad off Janis: Feel it Janis: he deserves it Jimmy: probably in the bin or summat Jimmy: find 'em all under her pillow Janis: making a statement necklace Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she does usually wear it round, well spotted Janis: I 👀 all Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: I better stop making eyes at the customers then Janis: How else you gon' get tips Jimmy: #where'sthejealousy? Jimmy: get yourself a girlfriend who don't give a shit, lads Janis: what you want me to be jealous for so bad? Jimmy: I'm just pissing about, Janet Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Likely story Jimmy: I miss you, there's one Janis: I miss you too Janis: and if you've been flirting with any old ladies Imma flip shit okay Jimmy: let's say I have 'cause I wanna see you fuck shit up at the CG Jimmy: & just see you Jimmy: so 👵💕 Janis: 😡😡😡 Janis: catch these hands deidra you old hussy Janis: get your own man Jimmy: have a heart babe he died in WWII Janis: probs look just like him Janis: least the dementia telling her so Jimmy: it's 'cause I'm so 💪 Jimmy: & got all them medals Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇 Janis: for being a prize dickhead, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Janis: don't act all devvo with me now, playing hero all afternoon Jimmy: come see me I'm so bored Janis: Have you saved up a break or nah Janis: real jealousy over them 🚬s Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & I finish soon Jimmy: we can go shopping Janis: Yeah? Janis: Okay then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: maybe I'll find something to cheer Cass up while we're there Janis: You're so nice Jimmy: nah, she's a good kid Jimmy: didn't ask for nowt of this Janis: Yeah Janis: none of yous did Janis: so you're still nice Jimmy: more my fault than hers that we moved Jimmy: wedding crashing & baby daddy drama, remember? 🙄 Jimmy: to hear my dad tell it like Janis: Yeah but that's like Janis: not actual is it Jimmy: don't stop him Jimmy: he'd have to take some blame then Janis: Heaven forbid Janis: My parents always act like they're blaming themselves but they just do it so people disagree Janis: dead sly Jimmy: sounds like when all your sister's mates say how much weight they've put on so the others will rush to say nah Jimmy: you ain't Tammy you're gorg babes! Janis: Literally 🙄 Janis: I hate that shit Janis: but I'm up myself for at least owning it and not forcing everyone into the pantomime okay Jimmy: I always wanna be like maybe don't order a croissant then, babes, but #tips so Janis: 😂 Janis: You're such a dick Janis: I love it, never change Jimmy: least your sister never eats owt Jimmy: even Mia orders shit to stare at Janis: they're all idiots Janis: just in different ways Jimmy: yeah, I got that Jimmy: probably spent more time with 'em these hols than you've ever had to Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: half of 'em are named after countries or colours Jimmy: ?? Janis: Basic from birth Janis: destined to be each other's shitty friend Jimmy: my dad did me that one decent shout Jimmy: tah, Ian Janis: 😂 Janis: Your name suits you Jimmy: hang on, what's yours again? Jimmy: gimme a sec & I can return the compliment Jimmy: Juliet, yeah? Very real Janis: Ha ha 🖕 Janis: It's an old woman's name so you should love it Jimmy: I knew I liked you for SOME reason Jimmy: there it is Janis: Your perviness never letting you down freak Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: so romantic, babe Janis: That ain't why you're with me Jimmy: yeah it is, last of the greats, remember? Jimmy: twitter agreed Janis: How could I forget Janis: sent me my first nude awh 💕 Jimmy: did you want it then though? Janis: You were hot, wasn't gonna say no Janis: that fake sext was 🔥 Jimmy: I'm an artistic Jimmy: boy Janis: Yep, totally focused on your talent, boy Jimmy: I wanted to impress you Jimmy: for real Janis: 😊 Janis: Well, you did Janis: for real Jimmy: alright, good Janis: You know EVERY bitch was thirsting after you then why wouldn't I? Jimmy: I've told you before, you ain't like 'em Jimmy: & you could kiss me how you did & just walk away Jimmy: so Janis: Sorry to disappoint but you looked good Janis: and it was funny Janis: and you actually did it Janis: so Jimmy: I always look good, am funny & accept challenges Janis: Go out with me then Jimmy: I'll think 'bout it Jimmy: remind me who you are Janis: 💔 Janis: so harsh Jimmy: you want me to be kind, baby? Janis: yes Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: I'll be so kind Janis: 😍 Janis: Am I mean Jimmy: not to me Jimmy: I dunno how you're chatting to everyone else Janis: oh, exactly like this Janis: my technique Jimmy: nah then, you're 👌 Janis: 😏 Good good Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: why? Janis: Grace reckons I'm basically Hitler Stalin and Pol Pot in one Janis: if she knew who the last two were Jimmy: she's friends with Mia her judgement's for shit Janis: True Jimmy: do you reckon you're mean to her? Janis: No Janis: Unless I intend to Janis: she just overreacts Jimmy was timed out 4 days ago Jimmy joined the chat 4 days ago Jimmy: there's your answer then Janis: Yeah, you're right Janis: only doing this to piss off Mia Jimmy: #same Jimmy: & for the free babysitting 👌 Janis: 👍 too right Janis: cash that in whenever Janis: she thinks Bobby is cute Janis: hopefully a good thing, not a 🚩 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I know I ain't interested girl but you can the bar a bit higher Jimmy: aim* Janis: Under 13 is honestly not a #mood babes Jimmy: more about the over 50s but go on, like Janis: 😂 different strokes, I guess Janis: how non-shamey was that Jimmy: decent use of the word strokes Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: 🙇 Janis: I try Janis: 'til I get grey hair how else am I keeping you interested Jimmy: get to the hair salon, rich girl Janis: 😏 get a Brazilian blowout whilst I'm there Jimmy: I can't even fake 👍 Jimmy: stop Janis: I'm surprised you know what that is Janis: 100% sit with my sister and co and bitch about me, confirmed Jimmy: I don't but the threat was clear Janis: You're cute Jimmy: you're a dickhead Jimmy: but I like you Jimmy: & what the fuck is it then? Janis: not 100% what is Brazilian about it but Gracie comes out looking like a show pony Jimmy: not very beachy or hot weather appropriate but alright Jimmy: but not alright, nah Jimmy: don't Janis: it takes hours Janis: fat chance Janis: can think of better things to do Jimmy: if you ever can't, call me Jimmy: I can think of loads Janis: Good to know Janis: knew there was a reason I was dating you, like Jimmy: #formybrain Janis: Yep Janis: first thing I noticed 'bout you Jimmy: I get that a lot Jimmy: not right now though Jimmy: I'm so tired Janis: 😔 Janis: not a store room you can nap in Jimmy: ☕ shop, mate Jimmy: easy fix Janis: 🤢 Janis: you're gonna need to go 🚬 'fore you kiss me then Jimmy: demanding you Jimmy: but yeah it is 🤢 Janis: You're somehow just finding out? Okay Jimmy: piss off Janis: Just sayin' don't go spreading that around, you're meant to know exactly how demanding I am by now, Christ Janis: not that frigid Jimmy: I'm just saying piss off Janis: ? okay Jimmy: you're Janis: hello? Janis: 😴? Jimmy: I'm alive, no tah to you Jimmy: gimme more mental images of how demanding you are & finish the job like Janis: Ahh 😏 Janis: Nah, leave you wondering and hanging on Janis: bitch like that Jimmy: why I hate you so much Janis: I know Janis: Makes it more fun Jimmy: what happened to wanting me to be kind? Jimmy: fickle you Janis: 🤷 Janis: trying to keep you awake and on your toes, boy Janis: manager can thank me Jimmy: I'd rather do it Jimmy: Unless you're 😍 for him now too Jimmy: love a man of mystery, yeah Janis: 😂 yeah, you're too familiar now Janis: gotta go Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: what the fuck are we gonna do on this double date? Jimmy: never done one Janis: Me either, oddly enough Janis: I hope she'd have picked someone else if it was a keys in the middle situation Janis: but maybe not, omg Janis: she's conned us Jimmy: Mia would pop up from behind a plant or summat Jimmy: lunge for you Jimmy: in a sexy/threatening way Janis: 😬 Janis: we gotta cancel rn immediately Jimmy: #cancelher Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Babe don't let her get me Jimmy: not gonna 💪 Jimmy: such a hero like that Janis: I won't let Grace wifeswap you Janis: not until I've 👀 this dickhead anyway Jimmy: tah Jimmy: like I said, them brazilian hair bollocks are doing nowt for me Jimmy: she'd end up disappointed Janis: 💔 Janis: don't need her pity so nah, not happening Jimmy: I'd have to hit up that look but don't touch girl for tips Jimmy: can't remember her name so Jimmy: just the weak ankles Janis: who Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: who's this lad then? big spender but what else? Janis: 🤷 Janis: Goes to a School Mia wishes but too thick that even money can't, appaz Janis: not white, I think she said Janis: ego Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: this is gonna be a right laugh, isn't it? Janis: You ain't gotta ride him Janis: we'll have a drink and go Janis: might be enough of a dick that is a laugh tho so Jimmy: if I have to watch your sister try I know that's a laugh Jimmy: seen it before Jimmy: her flirting is 🥇 Janis: 🙄 Don't remind me Jimmy: show 'em how it's done babe Jimmy: fancy places always have hot waiters Janis: Livin' for the dramatics always, you Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: #artist Jimmy: gotta suffer for that 🎨 Janis: use your 😥 to paint out that pain Jimmy: use my 😭 Janis: No half-measures Janis: I know, babe Jimmy: pete ain't here, you're gonna be off fucking the waiting staff Jimmy: I mean Jimmy: just 💔 Janis: Well we're all devestated about Pete, first of all Janis: where is he, what does he do with his free time Janis: so many unanswered questions Jimmy: he's in a band 🙄 Jimmy: I'm gonna drunk dial Barry, see if we can't hug it out Janis: OH BITCH Janis: really withholding that info from me weren't ya Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 100% the bassist Jimmy: he is yeah Jimmy: I've been on his insta 'cause that loved up like Janis: So hot Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: Even though I'm mad you're tryna keep him all to yourself Janis: dickhead Jimmy: first come first serve, Janet Jimmy: I saw him way before you Janis: Yeah but I really SEE him, you know? Janis: we've got a connection Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Groupie mode activated Janis: bet they're SO good Jimmy: [sends his like soundcloud or whatever people use idk 'cause obvs linked to the insta] Jimmy: 👍👍👍👍👍 Janis: Come thru, you stalker Jimmy: told you 😍😍😍 Jimmy: step your game up, Judy Janis: in stalking or being your actual bae Janis: #therealquestionsnogirlshouldhavetoask Jimmy: you don't have to ask it Jimmy: bit nosy you Jimmy: #stillnotadecentstalkerthough Janis: Not allowed to ask questions now Janis: that's your bit not mine anyways Jimmy: #stayinyourlane Janis: Friggin' cheek Janis: I'll stay home then 👌 Jimmy: nah you won't Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know you've already left Janis: I could probably find Gracie Janis: follow the sobs Jimmy: go on Jimmy: if that's what you want Janis: shut up Janis: be nice Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Janis: No, just love me Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I want you, how's that? Janis: Works for me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't had no ☕ so we can make it work Janis: You should've Janis: not that mad really Jimmy: got a sudden rush on Jimmy: no time Jimmy: fuck you Pete Janis: Ugh Janis: fuck off people Jimmy: still had time to scroll though Jimmy: Pete's got a bird I reckon 💔💔💔 Jimmy: so mad 'bout it Janis: 😱😱😱 Janis: Why are you trying to hurt me so bad Jimmy: 'cause I feel it too, babe Janis: I feel like all my dreams are dead Janis: crying on this bus Jimmy: tweet that at him Jimmy: he can use it for a lyric Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: hi, we've not properly met but 💔 Jimmy: he'd love it Janis: Enough to chuck the gf orrr Janis: I ain't bothering otherwise Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: Awh, thanks babes 😘 Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: love you 💕 Janis: love you too 💕 Janis: such a good friend Jimmy: back in the #friendzone Jimmy: I get it, you've seen an in with your true love, get on it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #wheresthejealousy? Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😍 Jimmy: who am I fighting though? Pete ain't in Janis: Take it out on me for now Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: Not saying you gotta remind me who's name to say but you know Janis: can't hurt, babe Jimmy: like I said, stay in your lane Jimmy: that's my shout Janis: 😂 Janis: Good thing you're #unforgettable Jimmy: are you hungry 'cause I am Janis: oh baby 🤤 Janis: but nah Janis: could eat Jimmy: nah you have to really want it Jimmy: the food here ain't worth a maybe Jimmy: starving or don't bother Janis: watch you eat then Janis: #creeper Jimmy: sexy Janis: Believe it Janis: watch you sleep later Jimmy: this is why you're last of the great romantics, love Janis: you're so 🍀 Jimmy: hang on, let me tweet it Jimmy: let the fans know Janis: gotta make the most of the ban lift Jimmy: that better not be a challenge, girl Janis: such a slag Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Jus' sayin' Janis: save a lil something just for me, yeah? 💔 Jimmy: there's the jealousy Jimmy: we found it Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: it's all for you, girl Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: you on your way to make me? Jimmy: 'cause til then nah Janis: Such a talker Janis: never take a break, you Jimmy: you love it though Janis: You reckon? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: all 'bout the noises you Janis: 😳 Janis: Don't be chatting that when you ain't here to back it up Jimmy: I will when you get here Jimmy: so come on Janis: can't blame me for being slow Janis: I ain't running and I ain't the driver so Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: tell whoever is to get a move on Jimmy: #medicalemergency Janis: Sadly not our bus driver bestie Janis: he'd understand Janis: be gutted it's me not you but you know Jimmy: he liked you too Jimmy: I'm just 🥇 after the latest ride Janis: thanks for the pep talk, babe Janis: so supportive Jimmy: I know Jimmy: & always ready with a challenge Janis: I reckon I know what you're thinking Jimmy: ? Jimmy: go on Janis: Doesn't take a genius to work out you want me to go for your title 🥇 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: save it for when our #1 fan is there though Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're actually in love with him Janis: 💔 Jimmy: he's a bit young for me Jimmy: but a decent Barry rebound I reckon Janis: Giving blowies for lifts, told ya Janis: with how cheap bus is, bit shaming but okay, have a nice life Jimmy: cheap for you, rich girl Jimmy: you gonna throw money 'round on this date, show this lad up? Janis: 😏😂 Janis: I don't know if I'm allowed to Janis: gonna need her to clarify what her actual plan here is Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you do what she tells you now? Janis: �� Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: you wanna re-write that sentence then? Janis: If the goal is to piss off Mia, idk if that'll help us achieve said goal Janis: there Janis: pedantic Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Gonna be that couple are we Janis: having a row and making the other people wanna die Jimmy: Are we? Janis: keep 🙄 and we'll see Jimmy: keep telling me what to do & we'll see Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not 😍 for that Janis: noted Jimmy: unless it's like shhh go to sleep Jimmy: or summat Janis: You don't need to be told sleepyhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: but nah I'm fighting it 💪🏆 Janis: sure you wanna go shopping and not snoozing? Jimmy: don't you wanna go? Janis: happy just to see you, darling Janis: seriously, whatever Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cass' potential mood upswing depends on it so Jimmy: we gotta Janis: Oh duh, forgot already Janis: your fault for being distracting Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haven't even been on twitter Jimmy: sort yourself out, Jenna Janis: Fine Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll get back to work then Janis: *is ignoring you shh* Jimmy: ☕☕🍪🥐☕ Jimmy: 👵💕 Janis: Such a pervert Jimmy: I'm so busy I can't reply soz Jimmy: 👴💋 Janis: Hate you so much Jimmy: I hate you too, babe Janis: 😏 you ain't even funny Jimmy: I am Jimmy: you're good at faking but not that good Janis: Fine, give you that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: if that's all you're gonna gimme, guess I'll take it Janis: Let your old biddy customers tell you how handsome you are Jimmy: they are Jimmy: can barely hear my phone going Janis: must be being polite today too Janis: working for those tips Jimmy: they're polite so I don't have to be Jimmy: #blessed Janis: dickhead Jimmy: & you love it Janis: nice to know you're not a total arselick, yeah Janis: couldn't even fake date that Jimmy: tah for letting me know Jimmy: I'll pass on to my manager that he's out of the running Janis: I assume he's the chubby guy, mid 30s Janis: who I've literally seen once Jimmy: yeah, that's the one Janis: Thought so Janis: was already out of the running Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: gutted mate Jimmy: he'll be crying in the back when he realises Janis: Shoulda thought've that before he shouted at my mans in front of customers Janis: poor Pete Jimmy: that's why he's really off Jimmy: can't bear to show his face like Janis: So mad Jimmy: he'll write a decent song 'bout it Jimmy: be alright Janis: gf will console him Janis: I'll make an anon complaint about the manager like the unsung hero I am Jimmy: coming up 🌹s Jimmy: top one, pete Jimmy: proud of him Janis: you can't be proud of him he's older than you Jimmy: how's that work? Janis: you're a child Janis: he's a manly man Janis: that's how that works Jimmy: piss off am I or is he Jimmy: sounds faker than you've ever Janis: 😂 Janis: deal with it, boy Jimmy: deal with me Jimmy: girl Jimmy: I'm a better man than any Jimmy: including your true love Janis: Hot Jimmy: it will be when I prove it Janis: I was joking but now I'm Jimmy: I'll show you I'm not Janis: Jim Jimmy: ? Janis: Just Janis: you're killing me here Jimmy: I'll make it better Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: lowkey ages Janis: feels it Janis: still going 'round the houses here Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext like he did way back when] Jimmy: I reckon you should have something to read Jimmy: & think about Janis: I Janis: have you ever thought of doing that as a living Janis: you could Janis: way easier than slinging coffees probably Jimmy: maybe now I've got such a top muse Jimmy: you really inspire me Jimmy: [sends another one 'cause extra] Janis: Actually dead Janis: I did warn you Janis: Fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: it backfired, I was trying to keep you going til I can do everything I wrote down Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Everything, yeah? Jimmy: that was the plan but it's too late now Jimmy: gotta call Barry & see if he'll be my date to the funeral Jimmy: look so good in black he'll have to say yeah Janis: You're so mean Janis: don't talk about him right now Jimmy: what do you wanna talk about? Janis: You Janis: and me Jimmy: go on Janis: It's stupid how much I miss you when you ain't around Janis: touching you and kissing you Janis: all of it Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I want you so much Jimmy: all the time Jimmy: I don't feel stupid Jimmy: I feel Janis: I feel it too Janis: I don't know why Jimmy: 'cause it's good Jimmy: you're Janis: yeah? Jimmy: you make me feel really good, you know Janis: good Janis: that's what i wanna do Jimmy: anything else? Janis: i mean Janis: lots of things can fall under what makes you feel good so Janis: not really Jimmy: chat to me 'bout them Jimmy: drown out these customers for me Jimmy was timed out 30 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 26 hours ago Janis: All I can think about is how badly I wanna be alone with you in a changing room right now Jimmy: I'm thinking of places we can be alone here too, don't worry Jimmy: resourceful like that Janis: Man of many talents Jimmy: there's more privacy in this place than you'd think Jimmy: especially when your man Pete the only other smoker ain't here Janis: Why you been holding out on me Jimmy: blame your boyfriend, he's always on shift Jimmy: & I only just found out the disabled toilet gets so little use it's used as a cleaning supply cupboard Jimmy: must have better taste in coffee Janis: I intend to, add it to my list of grievances with him Janis: Clearly Janis: interesting Jimmy: you're gonna be over the character limit on these tweets, babe Jimmy: get typing Jimmy: the customer toilets are well nicer than ours, write an anon complaint 'bout that tah Janis: Got a lot to say Janis: you gonna let be vent to you? Jimmy: like I'm always saying, so chatty you Jimmy: but I've also said you can say what you want, loads of times so Jimmy: keep up, Jill Janis: You've also called me a horny mute enough times to give a bitch a complex so Janis: challenging that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 poor lass Jimmy: challenge accepted, if you're frustrated enough to need to vent, take 'em out on me Janis: 💔💔💔 so mean Janis: it is your fault, like Jimmy: it is Jimmy: so go on Jimmy: use your boyfriend Janis: Jesus Janis: I Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I want you to Janis: How are you so Janis: it's rude Jimmy: I've missed you Jimmy: is the answer Janis: I wish you didn't have to work all the time Janis: but it's good that you do or you'd be sick of the sight of me if I could see you as much as I want Jimmy: nah I wouldn't Jimmy: you're 🥇 remember Janis: You're gonna fuck me at School, yeah? Janis: I can't handle being around you all day and not at least kissing you Jimmy: if we have to be there then I have to Jimmy: challenge accepted, yeah? Jimmy: we'll find somewhere Janis: Loads of the lads chat like they have, probably bullshit for the most part but gotta be doable Jimmy: #goals Jimmy: I told you before, I'll get in trouble for you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: I really like you Janis: you're fun Jimmy: you Jimmy: but I won't spread it 'bout & ruin your 💪 rep Janis: Cheers 👍 Janis: my rep is so important, obvs Janis: so many friends and fans, so little time Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: just make time for me & it's alright Janis: you're the only one I want Jimmy: make me believe it when you get here Janis: you're gonna have no choice but to Janis: trust Jimmy: such a romantic Janis: don't take the piss, boy Janis: #medicalemergency remember Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: I already told you, you make me feel so good Jimmy: it's that's not #romance I don't want it Janis: Good Janis: don't be dumping me for some lovey-dovey bitch yet Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: too many grandmas to choose from Jimmy: I need time Janis: take your time Janis: as much as you need Janis: then some Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: wish you weren't right now Jimmy: REALLY need that break Janis: we're 5 minutes now Janis: unless any more of your faves decide to chat on their way off Jimmy: unless they wanna fall out with me Jimmy: better not Janis: 😂 let it be known Janis: oi sandra, better get a wriggle on Jimmy: Doris, leave it out Jimmy: put 'em all on blast Janis: must really like me 😏 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: must do Janis: 'cos you know I ain't gonna tip you as good Janis: how the rich stay rich Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: oh rich girl! 💔 bit rude but I can't say I'm surprised Jimmy: there's the real tip Jimmy: spend wisely Jimmy: you gonna need all your wealth to flex on this double date Janis: Obviously Janis: can't have him 💪 all over us Janis: clearly insufferable enough without that Jimmy: you gonna meet me 'round the back then? since you're slumming Jimmy: or you wanna flex on some 👵👴 too first? Janis: You know I gotta 👀 the competition Jimmy: doesn't exist, baby Jimmy: so just check me out & let's go Janis: that's right, tell me what I wanna hear Jimmy: I'd rather give you what you need but if you're 5 minutes away I guess we can talk a bit Janis: I know, such a hardship for me too Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: take that out on Doris & Bill 🥊 Janis: No, you Janis: I'm not the one who acts inappropriate with oldies Jimmy: only got your word for that Janis: 😑 Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [more time passes than is usual] Janis: I'm getting off the bus Janis: you alright? Jimmy: rare appearance from your spurned love interest Jimmy: gonna make this more fun Janis: Which one? Jimmy: what did you call him, a chubby 30 year old? Jimmy: time to put on a show, girl Jimmy: let's see how 'down with the kids' he really wants to be Janis: I believe I was generous and gave him mid-30s Janis: which is when we find out he's 26 and the receding hairline is genetic, thanks Janis: chose a time to give a shit 🙄 but down for the challenge, obviously 🥇 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tell me what I wanna hear, babe Jimmy: NEED to hear, like Janis: I'm outside Jimmy: come in then Jimmy: say hello Janis: No more talking, yeah Jimmy: I'm not refusing you Jimmy: not when you chat like that Jimmy: come inside Janis: Coming Jimmy: [really extra kiss as a hello obviously but not sorry everyone cos its hot af] Janis: Well Janis: he's not looking yeah Janis: you go first Jimmy: alright Jimmy: one sec Janis: Try and be less obvious, babe Jimmy: me? you Janis: I don't know what you're talking about Jimmy: hang on, I'll show you Jimmy: exactly what you did Janis: You can't Janis: show me anymore here Jimmy: [does 'cause challenge accepted this is why you're gonna get in trouble lad] Janis: Come on, Jimmy Janis: you need a smoke, yeah Janis: really bad Jimmy: desperately Jimmy: how did you know? Janis: Me too Janis: amongst other things Jimmy: [lights her 🚬 up but in a really sexy way thank you cos SEXUAL TENSION BITCH gotta make 'em wait longer cos I'm rude] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: well Janis: no but Jimmy: ? Janis: You know what Janis: don't play innocent Jimmy: don't you Jimmy: come here Jimmy: get what you want Janis: [Does] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you take direction really well Jimmy: I thought it was only when you were faking Janis: Only when it's what I want Janis: but sure, we can pretend it was your idea, babe Jimmy: I don't want to pretend Jimmy: not right now Janis: Then get what you do want Jimmy: [does & it's everything he said he was gonna do in those hot sexts so damn] Janis: [After when she's got kicked out and he's getting fired, is ignoring] Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what happened Jimmy: he's #overit Jimmy: & sacking me Jimmy: now Janis: what Janis: nah Jimmy: put your ear to the door Jimmy: not gonna get a glowing reference when I show up to work for the competition Jimmy: bit rude Janis: obviously I've gone Janis: can you not like beg for another chance Jimmy: why? Jimmy: not my fucking dad, am I? Janis: Alright but Janis: it didn't need to happen, it was stupid Janis: I won't come in again, feel free to throw this all out Jimmy: neither will I Jimmy: hanging up my apron Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: for what? Jimmy: only Pete's gonna be 💔💔💔 Janis: for getting you sacked, obviously Jimmy: you didn't Jimmy: I did everything he saw Jimmy: & we can use this Jimmy: not quite romeo & juliet levels but the fans will still be 'bout it Janis: Be serious Jimmy: I am Jimmy: think of a good # Janis: Think of how you're gonna deal with your Dad Jimmy: fuck him Jimmy: school starts soon anyway Jimmy: I'll take less shifts at the next place Jimmy: & we sorted Cass' problem without having to buy her owt 👍 Janis: That's something Jimmy: it's decent so don't worry Jimmy: my dad'll lose his rag, gimme a smack, I'll do it better & that's that job done too Janis: you don't have to pretend it ain't a problem Janis: one you could do without Jimmy: it ain't yours Jimmy: you don't have to take it on Jimmy: 🤞 we give each other enough bruises to call off family dinner Jimmy: get out of that too Janis: it's fucked Jimmy: just make it look good for the audience Jimmy: I love you so much I risked it all Jimmy: that sorta bollocks Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Sure Jimmy: I'll handle my dad's tantrums Jimmy: not the 1st or last Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: come get the dog for me before he gets back? Janis: Okay Janis: am I bringing her back or starting a new life Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: I'm just hoping if you show up Cass'll forget about wanting front row & go with Jimmy: little lad's a given Janis: right Janis: do my best to be convincing Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: get pics to show how much you love me for getting the sack for you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: why? Jimmy: what you wanna do fucking mope? Jimmy: get it together & do your bit Janis: piss off Jimmy: I literally just told you I don't care if I get in trouble for you Jimmy: so what's your issue? Janis: I care, dickhead Jimmy: then like I said, do your bit Jimmy: don't make it weird Janis: I am and I ain't Janis: God Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: & say summat Janis: What do you want me to say Janis: I already did and you ain't listening Jimmy: I heard you, Jasmine Jimmy: but nowt matters Jimmy: it's just a job & it ain't mine now Janis: Fine Janis: shut up, I'm trying to put my shoes on Jimmy: you can't multitask any more? Jimmy: too 💔💔 'bout Pete Jimmy: you can go see him when you miss him, it's alright Janis: 😑 Janis: Jealous Janis: I didn't get sacked, I'm not changing my regular for you Jimmy: get him to make your smoothies Jimmy: let me know whose are better Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll try and remember Jimmy: calling his efforts forgettable before you've tasted 'em Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you would think that Janis: you would think that Janis: ego Jimmy: you said it Jimmy: poor lad Janis: I repeat Janis: 😑 Janis: you know I meant Imma be too busy now you're out the way Jimmy: you mean you're gonna be too busy with me Janis: you reckon Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you said you didn't want me to work as much Jimmy: now I ain't Jimmy: nowt but time for you 💕 Janis: so I planned it, yeah Jimmy: should've Jimmy: but just a happy accident like my birth Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Miss you too Janis: No need now Janis: all that free time Jimmy: see, it's good news Janis: you ain't seen your Dad yet so Jimmy: I know how that's playing out Janis: he's literally going to kill me Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'd never let him Janis: even if you lie why it happened, he's gonna know Janis: or go down there and ask, even worse Jimmy: I'll say it was my other girlfriend Janis: maybe Janis: father son bonding moment Jimmy: shame you don't look more like twins I could drop Grace in it Jimmy: the manager has only seen you like twice though Jimmy: maybe Janis: Twice is enough Janis: gotta have seen her more and it's an insult to reckon even in passing you're making that mistake Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: I can feel you making that face for real Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: Me? Janis: You be nice to me Jimmy: I am Jimmy: gonna protect you from my dickhead dad 💪 Janis: Shouldn't have to Jimmy: we saying this is all my fault now Jimmy: is that the story? Janis: No Janis: you don't listen Janis: it's mine, idiot Jimmy: you don't listen Jimmy: I told you, it's not Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: am I coming over right now or what Janis: yeah, I am Jimmy: It don't make you less of a diickhead Jimmy: you're still chatting shit Jimmy: stop Janis: Charming Jimmy: it's why you like me Janis: Mhmm Janis: not 'cos I'm fucked in the head or nothing Jimmy: piss off Janis: nah Jimmy: for fuck's sake Jimmy: just come over Janis: I am Jimmy: don't have to bring your 😍 but gutted 'bout the lack of enthusiasm Janis: What YOU chatting Janis: always 😍 to see Twix Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: she feels it Janis: I know Janis: chat all the time Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: she'll be so 💔 I can walk her now Janis: Guard your shoes Janis: heads up Jimmy: tah Jimmy: can't afford to buy more 'cause of 🐶💔 Janis: don't Janis: feel bad enough, fuck's sake Jimmy: you Jimmy: I can't keep telling you it's not your fault Janis: then don't Janis: but literally would not have happened if I weren't there so Jimmy: I want you more than I want that shitty job, alright? Jimmy: so stop Janis: alright Janis: you can get another one easy Janis: yeah Jimmy: you've tasted my smoothies, you tell me Janis: that sounds weirdly filthy 😂 Jimmy: not an answer though Jimmy: I get it, you were faking liking 'em Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shh Janis: you know you're good Jimmy: I know it's hot when you say it Janis: really? you've not been deterred by manager simon or whatever the fuck literally staring open-mouthed like Jimmy: no Jimmy: & if that's your way of dumping me, bit rude Jimmy: coulda done it before he sacked me Janis: told you Janis: all part of my plan to get pete alone Janis: and single-handedly bring CG down, naturally Jimmy: should just go to one of his gigs Jimmy: you know there ain't nobody there but the band Janis: so bitter Janis: art about it, babe Jimmy: I will Jimmy: tah Janis: #muse 'til the end Janis: welcome Jimmy: really gonna miss you when you're Pete's groupie Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I prefer band wife Janis: but gotta start somewhere Janis: it's been real Jimmy: Barry come back Jimmy: the coast's clear & all is forgiven Janis: 😏 Janis: just don't let him impregnate you Jimmy: yeah one baby is enough Jimmy: really should've grabbed it from the CG before I left Janis: put a hat and apron on it it's your replacement sorted Jimmy: taught her everything she knows Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: a girl is it Jimmy: Barry only wants daughters he can warn blokes off of, he's that kinda dad Janis: creepy Janis: you 💕 him Jimmy: he's a decent rebound Jimmy: had the practice Janis: accidental or intentional shade Janis: either way fuck you Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: calling my inexperienced Jimmy: nah Jimmy: calling him very experienced at being dumped and picking up dumpees Janis: Hmm Janis: ok Jimmy: & you aren't inexperienced anymore Jimmy: Pete will be 😍😍😍 Janis: no need to toot your own horn that hard either Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: do it for me then Janis: Pervert Janis: after that glowing review you ain't getting from CG, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: is that your word of the day? Jimmy: really getting full use Janis: if you wanna stop being one Janis: lemme know Jimmy: any time you wanna shut up, go on Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit Janis: [bit] Janis: here Janis: bring out the dog/relevant kids Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: idk Janis: hope it's not the worst it could be Jimmy: tah Jimmy: don't forget the pics, yeah Janis: I won't Jimmy: alright Janis: call me if you need Jimmy: dramatic Jimmy: call me if YOU need Jimmy: the kids are on one Janis: how is that dramatic Jimmy: I already said, I can handle my dad's tantrums Janis: well excuse me for caring Jimmy: just don't bring 'em back til I let you know Jimmy: if you care so much Janis: I won't Janis: I'm not stupid Jimmy: just me Jimmy: I got that Janis: No Jimmy: what? Janis: You aren't, alright Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you've been calling me an idiot non stop Janis: because I feel like one Janis: don't act like that doesn't make sense Jimmy: it makes sense that you're a dickhead Jimmy: come inside for a sec Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: just gimme one second Jimmy: & then you can go Janis: give me two Jimmy: alright Janis: [has to kiss him first do doesn't say it] Jimmy: [kisses her back really hard 'cause same & holds her 'cause comfort needed bitch] Janis: [Hugs for longer than should like bitch leave] Jimmy: you gotta go Jimmy: I can hear Twix losing it outside Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Janis: [kisses some more then leaves fr] Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: you? Jimmy: I just need to leave then you can bring 'em back Janis: okay Janis: go to mine? Jimmy: who's there? Janis: Us, currently but by the time you get there we won't Janis: wait for me in the barn Jimmy: okay Janis: do you need anything i can get on my way back Jimmy: just bring yourself Janis: okay Jimmy: Janis Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: nowt I just Jimmy: tah for looking after 'em Janis: 'course Janis: no problem Jimmy: I don't have to give Cass a smack too, do I? Janis: Nah Janis: she was chatting to me when Bobby couldn't hear but she weren't letting on to him so Jimmy: I've text her so she knows Dad ain't murdered me Jimmy: not that there's a rug or owt missing, just me Janis: 👍 Janis: good Janis: gutted not to go true crime detective on it but Jimmy: you'd solve it too fast for it to be a laugh anyway Jimmy: too many clues Janis: true Janis: bit embarrassing, really Jimmy: can you get 🚬 actually? this pack is so light Jimmy: & get the kids 🍬 to soften the blow of not having my company for a bit Janis: my bad Janis: done and done Janis: not getting your Dad nothing Jimmy: he'll be 💔 Jimmy: needs a 🤕 Janis: nope Janis: stick a plaster on it and good luck Jimmy: brutal you Janis: He started it Jimmy: nah, I did Jimmy: losing me job Janis: so? not an excuse Janis: not like he's gotta retrain someone is it Jimmy: he don't need one Jimmy: any will do Janis: hate him Jimmy: #same Jimmy: not a couple brag for them 'gram but decent we've got that much in common Janis: obviously, soz Janis: your da, you actually have to deal with him Jimmy: I try not to Jimmy: got enough on Jimmy: don't let yours see me, yeah Janis: I won't Janis: promise Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I promise not to get blood on you Jimmy: maybe Janis: Jimmy Janis: how bad is it then Jimmy: nowt serious Jimmy: it's happened before so it does the next time, like Janis: I'll fix it Jimmy: I know Jimmy: feel better already me Janis: you will Janis: you know you can stay as long as you need to Jimmy: just not as long as I want Jimmy: Cass'd be fuming Janis: and you'd miss 'em Janis: come on Jimmy: let's move 'em in Jimmy: what could be more #goals Jimmy: living with a 6 year old going on toddler & 12 year old going on 22 Janis: Obviously Janis: save the teen pregnancy which has frankly been overdone in this fam so Janis: plenty of empty rooms if you can stand the cunts Jimmy: shame you can't bring Twix though that'd be helpful Janis: I know Janis: poor bitch Jimmy: anyone you know that doesn't have cats by the million? Janis: 'course Janis: my grandparents would take her Janis: can sort anything I can Jimmy: I wish you could Jimmy: for real Jimmy: It's all Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Jimmy: I don't want 'em to see me but I don't wanna just leave 'em with him Jimmy: ever Jimmy: that's not Janis: It's Janis: total catch 22 Janis: he wouldn't do anything like that to them though, yeah? Janis: not saying he's winning dad of the year in the meantime but Jimmy: but Cass is gonna be mad enough to say anything Jimmy: & Bobby's gonna be so scared Jimmy: when are they not Janis: what can we do, seriously Janis: is it gonna be worse if you go home with them Janis: like assumedly Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: I just can't go back there right now Janis: You don't have to Janis: ask Cass to be extra nice to Bobby Janis: keep it together 'til you can go back Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it's not fucking fair on her though Jimmy: nowt of it Jimmy: some hol this has been Janis: it ain't on you either Janis: that's on him though Janis: it can't even begin to be fair 'til he sorts his shit so Janis: she's old enough to know that Jimmy: I'm not 12 Jimmy: & it weren't like this for me when I was Jimmy: bad but not Janis: Shit's changed and that's out of your control Janis: the more you 'front like it ain't the more you put yourself in the firing line when it's meant to be him Jimmy: it's changed them so much & I Jimmy: someone's gotta take the hit for that Jimmy: he won't Janis: I get it Janis: like, not making it about me but I seriously do Janis: but they won't thank you for it, they'd rather you were at least a little bit fucking alright, you know Janis: they need you like that Jimmy: I'll be alright Jimmy: you're coming to fix me up Janis: Yeah Janis: we will work it out Jimmy: It's good that I met you Jimmy: best thing about being here Jimmy: only decent one maybe Janis: Competition ain't tough but Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the free medical attention coming my way has really elevated this whole girlfriend thing up one Jimmy: full shade to my ex for not coming through when she had her time Janis: Just don't start getting beat up for the attention, yeah Jimmy: with this face? Jimmy: it's my money maker, the rest of living ain't free, sweetheart Jimmy: good thing I don't have to work tomorrow, not looking pretty right now, sorry ladies Janis: You're so Janis: #sorrydorisyoumean Janis: better tell her you've moved so she can follow so you know it's real Jimmy: Pete's gonna have a 9-5 cleaning tables when the mass exodus happens Jimmy: sorry mate Jimmy: give him loads of time to work on his songs though Janis: all the 💔 will help him Janis: make him miss you even more but that's life, baby Jimmy: do you reckon Grace & her mates will believe I'm just on a really long break out back? Janis: 😂 Janis: would if you hadn't been dramatic on the 'gram Janis: their real hunting ground Jimmy: speak of 😈 Mia just liked it Janis: she's so bloody creepy Jimmy: did you see her latest selfie 💀 Jimmy: [sends it] Janis: 🦆 Jimmy: sorta impressive that your sister can find bollocks to comment Jimmy: that isn't like Jimmy: you look like death Janis: #tooreal for any of them Janis: especially Gracie Jimmy: at least her last selfie was alright Jimmy: I could chat shit on that if I had to Janis: go marry her then Jimmy: told you, you don't look alike enough Jimmy: can't be showing up like oops wrong one Janis: 😂 Janis: she would lock me in a cupboard she's got no shame Jimmy: insight into your childhood there? Jimmy: Harry Potter got nowt on you Janis: Yeah right Janis: too early for that shit Jimmy: it don't feel early to me Jimmy: this has been the longest fucking day Janis: You wanna hear my sad childhood stories then Janis: cheer you right up Jimmy: I'm out 🚬 Jimmy: gotta do summat Janis: Mysterious Jimmy: is it? Janis: What are you doing? Jimmy: walking Jimmy: 'cause you live in the middle of nowhere for some reason Janis: tell me about it Jimmy: have you dropped 'em off yet? Janis: in shop, picking their sweets Jimmy: soz Jimmy: you'll be ages Jimmy: it'll feel like a long day by then Janis: yeah Janis: realising Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: you can't Janis: you're a patient Jimmy: I'm bleeding but not to death Jimmy: plenty I can still do 💪 Janis: Shh, save your strength Janis: hard for me too, I know you're gonna look even hotter and it's just Jimmy: fuck your childhood stories, I'm learning shit here Janis: 😳 shut up that's a thing Jimmy: I'll shut up if you keep talking Jimmy: tell me again how hot I am Janis: you know you are Janis: you need me to tell you Jimmy: yeah Janis: I think you're probably the best-looking person I've ever seen in person Janis: people don't just look like that Jimmy: that's bollocks 'cause you look Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: beautiful, alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: I could look at you forever Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: I'll start when you get here Jimmy: you're gonna look at me 😒 when I tell you Janis: tell me what Jimmy: I think I took a wrong turn Jimmy: I don't know where the fuck I am Janis: oh babe Janis: I'll find you Janis: now going yours, finally Jimmy: 🍀 all looks the same Janis: Gonna have to track you Janis: be THAT girl just 'cos you're a liability Jimmy: we can say that's the reason, yeah Janis: Please Janis: if I want you I don't even need to whistle Jimmy: if you want me to piss off you don't have to unclip my lead either Jimmy: just say Janis: I don't Janis: but you can, if you want Jimmy: why would I be lost in the general direction of your house if I wanted that Janis: Just saying Janis: you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: shut up Janis: I just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: I just need you right now Jimmy: so Janis: you've got me then Jimmy: I want you too, you know Jimmy: It ain't just that I got nowhere to go Jimmy: I'd break into the CG before going somewhere I don't want Janis: You don't have to say it Janis: I was just being stupid Jimmy: You aren't Jimmy: & I want to Jimmy: just listen to me Janis: I am Jimmy: yeah we say that Janis: Tell me Janis: whatever you wanna Jimmy: I've never said owt I don't want Janis: Okay Janis: I believe you Janis: sometimes I forget what was fake and what's real Janis: it's all Janis: muddled in my head Jimmy: ask me Jimmy: whenever you wanna Janis: alright Janis: how come you're so sure though Jimmy: you saying I chat shit? bit rude Janis: No I mean Janis: how do you know what I mean and don't Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: this could all be bollocks Janis: that don't bother you then Jimmy: you can't fake everything Jimmy: when you're with me I know how you feel Janis: Good Janis: I'm not trying to hide it Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: everyone hides shit Jimmy: & chats it Janis: not you though, yeah? Jimmy: not to you Jimmy: there's loads of shit I haven't said but I'm not lying Jimmy: just not going that far back Janis: that's fine by me Janis: 'cos same Jimmy: don't worry then Jimmy: you know me better than anyone else Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: here anyway Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: I'm not going back so it counts Janis: oh right Janis: 👌 gotcha Janis: my fam would probably like to disagree but no one knows me either so Jimmy: sound more 💔 that you can't get rid of me, girl Jimmy: you should be happy, bit rude Janis: shh Janis: i'm glad i met you too Janis: it's just shit 'cos you don't wanna be here Janis: can't be selfish about it and buzzin', like Jimmy: I don't wanna be there either, not really Jimmy: I don't wanna be Jimmy: any of it Janis: yeah Jimmy: how do your parents get to decide for you how shit your life's gonna be & that's just Jimmy: how it is Janis: they just do Janis: must be in the fineprint for getting to be alive Janis: not arsed, too arsed, whatever, fucks you regardless Jimmy: I'm never having kids Jimmy: good thing I left that one in the CG Janis: same Janis: 'cos what kind of psycho wants the guilt, inversely Janis: like yeah, here's this kid I'm programmed to love no matter what and ahtever the fuck I do, they're gonna turn out fucked or hate me or Janis: nah Jimmy: guilt's good for my 🎨 but I'll be dried up by then Janis: so past it Janis: midlife crisis baby Janis: least women can't do that Jimmy: I feel like a dad of two already Jimmy: who fucking asked me Jimmy: & there's the dog Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Start paying the mortgage and you're fully a single parent Jimmy: with this CV? Jimmy: bollocks to it Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: thank fuck no one needs me Jimmy: let's just go out Jimmy: do summat other people in our year do Janis: cool Janis: puke on me and you're dead, idc how hot you are or how bad your injuries already might be Jimmy: you're the pisshead Jimmy: I can handle myself Janis: fuck off Janis: you chat shit on that, that's your thing Jimmy: what? Janis: You always say I'm drunk Janis: when I ain't Jimmy: I say it when you are Janis: 🙄😒 Janis: agree to disagree Jimmy: I like you when you're drunk Jimmy: & you're a cheap date so 👍 Janis: 😬 Janis: wanna be more creepy Jimmy: piss off you know what I mean Jimmy: you're less of a dickhead Jimmy: it's fun Jimmy: you like me more when you're drunk Janis: do I? Janis: better go get drunk then Jimmy: you have to wait for me or it ain't #goals Jimmy: & my injuries aren't gonna fix themselves yet Janis: you just hoping i got a uniform Jimmy: now I am Jimmy: but no clothes is also fine Jimmy: I'm easy-going like that Janis: good to know Janis: 'cos this is nhs service and you'll get what you're given and be thankful, boy Jimmy: I'll be very thankful Jimmy: you'll see Janis: don't be so Janis: we're meant to be going out Jimmy: we can be #fashionably late Janis: it's selfish but i want you so bad right now Jimmy: no complaints if that's what you're being selfish about Jimmy: actually is a #medicalemergency this time Jimmy: You need to make me feel better Janis: I'm going to forreal Janis: then I'll make you forget about everything that ain't feeling good and me Jimmy: It'll be a challenge Jimmy: it hurts, for real Janis: I know Janis: what's the actual damage you haven't said Jimmy: keeping it a surprise now 'cause you're so into it Jimmy: be a turn on for you Janis: don't make me sound like a psycho Janis: I don't like that you're hurt Janis: ugh Jimmy: I'm not being serious, baby Janis: don't try and sweet talk me now it'll 100% work and I'll be fuming Jimmy: be nice to me Jimmy: I wanna be nice to you Janis: it's my turn, if we're keeping score Jimmy: we're not Jimmy: for tonight we're just Jimmy: doing whatever we want Janis: then let me Janis: you need to relax, seriously Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I'm agreeing 'cause I'm in pain not 'cause you're right Janis: 'course Janis: we can say that's the reason Jimmy: it's the reason Jimmy: don't be stealing my lines Janis: 😂 Janis: but they're so effective Janis: not annoying at all, yeah? Jimmy: THAT I do agree with Janis: Nerd Jimmy: bit rude Janis: it's easier than being as nice as I wanna Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'll shut up & make it so easy for you Jimmy: go on Janis: I can't Jimmy: please Janis: oh Janis: that is nice Jimmy: I know Janis: fuck it, tell you when we're drunk Jimmy: you really can't tell me now? Jimmy: any of it Janis: I can tell you plenty you'd rather hear Jimmy: yeah? Janis: I'm gonna make you regret wanting to go out, that's how good it'll be Jimmy: we don't have to Jimmy: like I said, whatever we want Jimmy: if it's that good, I'll stay Janis: nah, we will Janis: plenty of ways to have a nice time Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: it'll gimme an excuse for why I'm covered in blood that's not my dad's a bellend Jimmy: #thecraic Janis: 😏 and you DON'T wanna encourage my psycho behaviour, sure Jimmy: do you wanna encourage me in cross dressing? 'cause unless you want me to wear your clothes I'm gonna look like a horror flick Janis: 🤔 Janis: no doubt it ain't really crossdressing with my wardrobe Janis: sad times, babes Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you're a girl, how many times we talking 'bout this Janis: glad you can tell Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: jus' sayin' Janis: do me a solid and spread that around Jimmy: get on twitter with your nudes & save me the job Janis: not all as #cocky as you boy Jimmy: you've got every reason to be Jimmy: more Janis: it's different Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: not a serious suggestion Jimmy: not that much of an idiot Janis: you aren't shut up Janis: besides, not taking 🔥 nudes from the roadside for you or tiwtter am Janis: *I Jimmy: you could Jimmy: but don't get arrested Jimmy: can't use all my savings for bail Janis: exactly, too many #risks taken for one day Jimmy: or just the right amount Jimmy: so far Janis: shame Jimmy: that the manager caught us, I know Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the interruption was well rude Janis: yeah Janis: it was Janis: you were Jimmy: he could've let us finish if he was gonna sack me anyway Jimmy: but to be continued I suppose Janis: so spiteful Janis: what did i ever do to you simon Jimmy: you were so close Jimmy: he had to know that Jimmy: give us a minute, lad Janis: don't oversell it Jimmy: don't misremember it Janis: give me some credit Janis: 2 minutes, like Jimmy: I'd have given you loads more Jimmy: didn't wanna stop Janis: Babe Jimmy: ? Janis: you know Jimmy: say it anyway Janis: i'm so Janis: i just need to find you Jimmy: I need you to find me Jimmy: so go on Janis: I'm trying, what do you think I'm doing Jimmy: how do I know Jimmy: not tracking you Janis: 🙄 Janis: yes, i've decided to stop off for a quickie with pete first Janis: hold up Jimmy: distracted easy you Jimmy: also a heartbreaker Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: who's fault is that? Jimmy: mine & Pete's Jimmy: letting you Janis: if you had any idea how little interest i have in anyone else right now Janis: sad, really Jimmy: I don't feel sad Jimmy: neither do you Janis: not right now Jimmy: what do I have to do to make it not ever? Janis: don't Janis: don't be falling for anyone else yet Janis: i'm not ready Jimmy: you think I have any interest in anyone else myself? Jimmy: I just want you Janis: that's what i'm saying, keep it like that for a while yeah Jimmy: it is like that Jimmy: where do you think your competition is coming from? Jimmy: 🥇 you Janis: shh Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: you're Jimmy: there's loads of reasons I really like you Jimmy: even if you did get me sacked Janis: bastard 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the flashbacks alone are worth it Janis: i wasn't even Janis: it was all you Jimmy: you were Jimmy: you always are Jimmy: you reckon I was taking the piss out of you for being inexperienced before but you've known what you were doing since I met you Jimmy: you're just Janis: It's not like I'd done nothing it's just Janis: learning what you like Janis: what makes you cum Jimmy: & you're a fast learner Janis: 🙄 Janis: i'm not gonna tell you you're a good teacher Jimmy: either that or I'm a slag Jimmy: easy to turn on & get off Jimmy: either way is fine Janis: don't tell me if it's that Janis: live in ignorance Jimmy: my ex would tell you it's not Janis: some girls are just lazy Janis: expect it to be Jimmy: I didn't make it very easy for her Jimmy: in her defense Jimmy: any of it Jimmy: not just Janis: don't need to say Jimmy: I know but Jimmy: I don't wanna fuck this up Jimmy: I'm not ready for that Janis: told you Janis: me either Jimmy: so don't let me Jimmy: I'm a dickhead but I really like you Jimmy: alright Janis: I know both of those things Janis: don't worry Jimmy: keep 'em in mind for a bit Janis: do my best Janis: you will be so distracting though Jimmy: not saying sorry Jimmy: where the fuck am I though? Jimmy: sorry 'bout that Janis: I am taking all possible missteps, find you eventually Jimmy: I have a headache but if you take that to mean that I don't want you to touch me when you do get to me, I'm dumping you Janis: please don't pass out seriously Janis: putting jokes of how dramatic you are aside 'cos I mean it Jimmy: I won't, I mean it, been here before Jimmy: physically but not geographically Janis: Baby Janis: can I kill him Janis: lil bit Jimmy: only if we do it together Jimmy: there's shit I wanna know from him first Janis: #couplegoals Janis: i get it Jimmy: it'll look worse than it is Jimmy: don't be weird about it Janis: I won't, I'm not inexperienced with blood thanks Jimmy: just Jimmy: I know you care Jimmy: but I'm alright Janis: I won't push it Janis: understood Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sorry Jimmy: why? Janis: for being weird Jimmy: name a day you weren't Jimmy: it's my top thing about you Janis: you must be weird too then Jimmy: do you think I am? Janis: well this feels like a trick question Jimmy: it's a yeah or nah one Janis: nah, such a normie, you Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: a deeper cut than the one on my face Janis: I like you, that's all that matters Jimmy: you gonna show me how much when you find me Janis: try and stop me Jimmy: I'd rather not Jimmy: you said you'd help me relax if I let you Janis: I meant it Janis: doesn't mean self-control isn't gonna be hard for me Janis: but you need gentle Jimmy: you know I hate self control Jimmy: especially yours Janis: take it up with my manager Jimmy: Twix'll be sleeping Jimmy: had a hard day Janis: you too Janis: gotta get you like 😴 Jimmy: what are you on about? It's been great Jimmy: just thinking about earlier at the CG makes me so Janis: so what Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know Janis: so tell me Jimmy: you want me to tell you how turned on I am Jimmy: that I ache for you to come back & finish what we started Jimmy: & I can't breathe 'cause it feels like forever since you touched me Jimmy: but I can still feel it too Jimmy: every time I go there in my head Jimmy: I'm back in the moment & I just Janis: I think I Janis: holy shit Janis: I don't know what I think my head is Janis: you're all I can think about Janis: all the time Janis: and that's so much better than anything else I had to think on before because you're Jimmy: it's the same for me Jimmy: that blowjob you gave me, your first one, was my best one Jimmy: that shouldn't be a sentence I'm saying Jimmy: like you shouldn't be all I think about & want Janis: I can't be sorry Janis: I want to be your best everything Janis: I want you to want me Jimmy: then you've got what you want Janis: swear Jimmy: there's enough blood here for it Janis: good thing I do live middle of nowhere Janis: what would the neighbours say Jimmy: I saw some 🐮s and they were #shook Janis: #haters Jimmy: probably reckoned they were in the abattoir Jimmy: soz ladies Janis: usually the boys that Janis: only need the one Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: teaching me loads today Janis: return the favour Janis: said i'm not gonna say it but Jimmy: there's nowt I can teach you Jimmy: you're Jimmy: just take your row of medals & don't be too smug bout it Janis: okay then let me beat my own record Jimmy: any time Jimmy: anywhere Janis: I need to, I can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: tell me what's going on in your head Janis: I didn't think it'd feel that good, just giving but it was so Janis: I don't know why people complain I'd do that all day Janis: you looked so Jimmy: if you could see how you're making me look now Janis: I'm jealous of the 🐮s honestly Janis: you really are gorgeous and I felt so Jimmy: every time I reckon I can't want you more you chat things that prove me wrong Janis: I can't wait to see you Janis: not 'cos you're lost and bloody and defenseless and I'm a predator like that Jimmy: you kissed me like you were fucking off forever Jimmy: so I need to fix that Janis: well Janis: I planned to but I have the willpower and actual self-control of a fucking crackhead when it comes to you, apparently Jimmy: did you? Janis: bit ott not like gonna-jump-off-a-cliff forever but Janis: i felt really bad Janis: feel Janis: but you said it ain't my fault and i'm chosing to believe that Jimmy: fuck all of that but the last bit Jimmy: stay Jimmy: not wherever the fuck nowhere but Janis: with you Janis: i wanna Jimmy: then just do it Janis: okay Jimmy: you scared me, don't do that Janis: i didn't mean to Jimmy: you can take the dog but my dad would probably notice the others are missing eventually Jimmy: it's just a shit plan Janis: what about you Janis: can i take you Jimmy: where are we going? Janis: supposed to say it doesn't matter because i don't know Janis: anywhere Jimmy: I'd say it don't but I'd rather not come back here Jimmy: the cows are a bit Janis: bovine Jimmy: I don't know what the fuck that means Jimmy: but if it's weird not in the good way my girlfriend is, then yeah Janis: just means like a cow, tbh, like when someone's dead slow and unmoving, bit thick Janis: Mia 'cos she's puking up her brain cells at this point Jimmy: & that girl who follows her round the most Janis: big one? Jimmy: the other 💀 one Janis: ahh, yeah Janis: fucking herd Janis: gracie is just a stupid duckling that imprinted and thinks she's a cow whilst she's waddling after 'em like Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Pete could write a #sick song 'bout that Jimmy: hit him up Janis: ha Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: got shit on my shoe, gotta get the first tweet in Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: good luck getting signal Janis: i reckon i know where you are, work on how you're gonna chat him up for tix so i can sit her front row for the drag of the century tah Jimmy: #willthemiseryeverrelent? Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: maybe we should see a show for real Jimmy: could be a laugh Janis: Yeah Janis: why not Janis: just remember you promised Jimmy: work on our heckles Jimmy: just don't get too jealous of my 😍😍 when they ain't aimed at you Jimmy: what did I promise? Janis: exactly that motherfucker 😒 Janis: no indie bands for you if this is how you're gonna be Jimmy: threesome or nowt, I hear you Janis: with your taste? nowt Jimmy: you love Pete Jimmy: what you chatting Janis: He's the only exception, I've told you many times Janis: special 💕 Jimmy: & I've only got eyes for you & him Jimmy: Barry when I'm wasted Janis: mhmm Janis: likely story, slag Jimmy: keep wounding me Jimmy: near death Jimmy: can't go on Janis: go find a girl with quirky coloured hair to cry on Jimmy: these cows are gonna eat me when I hit the ground so unlikely Jimmy: but a boy can dream Janis: 🖕 they're herbivores, you dickhead Janis: how you like your women too, I'm sure Jimmy: give a shit what they eat Jimmy: cows or girls Jimmy: both are eyeing me all the time Jimmy: like they wanna make something happen Janis: genuinely hate you Janis: so much i'm not walking to the end of this lane, come here if you're not a loitering murderer i'm looking at rn Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: there's the romantic I fell for Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: baby, take a step for me Jimmy: go on Janis: don't baby me Janis: you said you'd be nice Janis: 😠 Jimmy: alright, Janis take a step for me Jimmy: please Janis: [Does, a tiny one] Jimmy: [walks the rest of the way up to her & kisses her 'cause well that's just how he do] Janis: [casually covered in his blood, hot, touches where the split is gently and licks her finger after] Janis: let's go clean you up Jimmy: just Jimmy: [has to kiss her again harder cos wouldn't we all] Janis: yeah Janis: now let me be good and fix this Jimmy: You already are Jimmy: let me have Jimmy: [more kisses cos where is the chill on any given day] Janis: I want more Janis: but I don't wanna hurt you Jimmy: you won't Janis: [is kissing his neck 'cos safer] Jimmy: [enjoy his reaction cows 'cos we know he's living for it] Janis: [so many little kisses] Janis: is it just there or are there any bruises I need to miss too Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: which sounds like a line to make you find out but I don't Janis: I'll be careful then Janis: check you thoroughly later, obviously Jimmy: it's a blur now Jimmy: like it didn't happen but obviously Janis: Yeah Janis: you don't have to think about it right now, if you don't want Jimmy: & I feel like I've been walking to find you for half the day Janis: I promise it weren't that long Janis: middle of nowhere and lost though you are Jimmy: I'm just saying I don't know what's my dad & what's how unfit I am Janis: It's alright, can work it out together Janis: and go slow now I've ascertained you aren't bleeding out Jimmy: can we stay here for a bit Jimmy: not ages just Janis: if you've got over your moophobia Janis: 'course Jimmy: you'll protect me Janis: yes baby Jimmy: [kisses her again 'cause we all know that was multi-layered chat thank you] Janis: sit down though Janis: [puts her jacket down 'cos remember when yes you do it wasn't that long ago] Jimmy: [sits but pulls her into his lap 'cause obviously] Jimmy: alright Janis: am now Janis: you? Jimmy: am now Jimmy: [is just touching her hair so gently 'cause fave like soz for the state of his hands probably babe] Janis: [motions that he should lift his arms so she can take his top off him carefully 'cos already bloody and uses it to wipe away the blood that has dried around his eyes] Jimmy: [does & tries not to visibly wince cos hard & northern but actually a soft boy so] Janis: [gives him neck and shoulder massages when she's done, as she's putting his top back on Janis: there Janis: might not have got lost if you could see better Jimmy: I'll use that excuse, tah Janis: allow it Janis: and i ain't telling Jimmy: me either Jimmy: twitter don't need to know everything Jimmy: bit of blasphemy Janis: alright Janis: no God in your house, you've told me Jimmy: I'll let the world know what a good nurse you are though Janis: Not letting just anyone bleed on me, you know Jimmy: sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: don't be Jimmy: there's so much Jimmy: [touches her face where some is but like not in a way he technically needs to after a sec 'cos I just have to bye] Janis: just looks it, head injuries always do Janis: you don't need stitches or nowt, I wouldn't be sat here if you did Janis: even if it's Janis: nice Jimmy: if I did I woulda had 'em first time Jimmy: do I need to be worried you're like an expert on head injuries for some reason Janis: 🔪🐰 Janis: told ya Jimmy: [actually lols] Janis: you're fucking cute Janis: do that again yeah Jimmy: you don't get to call me cute sitting there looking like that Jimmy: you're Jimmy: being really cute Janis: [makes a dorky face which she means to be ugly but come on] Janis: what about now? Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause can't like he gonna say some extra shit if I don't] Janis: [touches his lips after] Janis: i'm glad you don't have a fat lip Janis: it'd be really hard not to kiss you Janis: i might die Jimmy: I still would Jimmy: that hero 💪 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: but next time I'll tell him Janis: aim lower, right Janis: [points finger gun at his heart] Jimmy: that's your shot not his Jimmy: so be careful Janis: [crosses self, does scout's honour etc] Jimmy: [does a lil lol cos she a cute nerd] Janis: that might be one of my favourite noises you make Jimmy: don't commit yet Janis: i didn't Janis: sensible, me Jimmy: how sensible? Jimmy: you gonna stop me if I Jimmy: [is touching her in some saucy manner excuse you sir] Janis: very sensible Janis: be an idiot to stop you when Jimmy: when? Janis: when I missed you so much Jimmy: [starts kissing her neck & moving down her whole body, moving clothes out of his way as best he can 'cause missed her too obvs] Jimmy: what about now? Janis: [casually gripping onto his t-shirt really hard 'cos doesn't wanna hurt him but damn] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: it's alright Janis: I'm meant to be Jimmy: I said, it's alright Jimmy: [carries on 'cause he's that dickhead] Janis: oh fuck Janis: don't start this somewhere we can't finish it again Jimmy: the cows aren't gonna tell us to stop Janis: so you trust 'em now do you Jimmy: I trust you Jimmy: [kisses her on the mouth before we know what's gonna happen oh boy] Janis: just tell me if I hurt you, okay? Jimmy: I told you, you won't Jimmy: trust yourself Jimmy: [starts from the top 'cause there & back at it again at Krispy Kreme] Janis: [starts unbuttoning him 'cos impatient] Jimmy: [likewise with whatever she's wearing 'cause he didn't ask like a phone sex line for once so idk] Janis: I want you so bad you know Jimmy: I can feel it Jimmy: but still like that you told me Janis: feel it some more Jimmy: [does] Janis: Shit Janis: That's so Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I Janis: Please don't stop Jimmy: not now I've started, you know that Janis: yeah but promise Janis: I like it when you promise Jimmy: on what? a cow Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: [says that he promises out loud] Janis: [kisses him 'cos back at it again with nothing but ily to say] Jimmy: [lowkey drops his phone & don't even notice 'cause hot] Janis: [Hit 'em with an after 'cos] Jimmy: is it weird that we always type instead of just talking? Janis: probably but Janis: not like we do it when we're alone Janis: and not in public Jimmy: we're alone now Jimmy: are you counting the cows? Janis: yeah, they're people too, they don't need to hear me going all out Jimmy: bit late for that Jimmy: they heard everything Janis: shh Janis: never happened Jimmy: I just Jimmy: it's not 'cause Jimmy: you Janis: what? Janis: are you concussed? Janis: look at me Jimmy: you don't type it 'cause you can't delete what you chat before it comes out your mouth, do you? Jimmy: that's not the reason Janis: does it matter Jimmy: depends what the answer is Janis: then I won't answer Jimmy: that is an answer Jimmy: I'm not stupid Janis: no it isn't Janis: you can't assume that it's in favour of your bias just 'cos Jimmy: if you don't wanna tell me it's 'cause you think the answer is one I don't wanna hear Jimmy: & I know what I don't wanna hear Jimmy: so Janis: I don't wanna answer 'cos you said it mattered so either way Jimmy: self control yeah Jimmy: just edit it a bit Jimmy: I get it Janis: what you being like this for Jimmy: is it real or not? Jimmy: that's why it matters Janis: why would I fake fuck you Janis: what would be the point of that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: you wouldn't but Jimmy: anything else you say to me Jimmy: are you just hitting delete on whatever you wanna say Jimmy: I'm just asking Janis: are you Janis: 'cos you seem to be more ready for this conversation than I am Jimmy: I asked you, don't turn it round on me 'cause you don't wanna tell me I'm right Janis: You aren't right Janis: can we go now Jimmy: I suppose Janis: what's the point in asking if you don't believe me anyway Jimmy: I never said I don't Janis: didn't have to Jimmy: I didn't mean to Janis: whatever Janis: come on Jimmy: [stops her 'cause boy you gotta fix this excuse you] Jimmy: not like this Janis: you said you ain't got nowhere else to go and i said you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: I'd rather stay here if that's what you reckon me going with you is Jimmy: whatever I've said Janis: don't be dramatic just Jimmy: It's not Jimmy: I care about you, alright Jimmy: that's why I asked Jimmy: & 'cause I trust you & that's not nowt to me Jimmy: it's bigger than like any of the rest of the bollocks of knowing someone Janis: alright Janis: just 'cos I hold back some things doesn't mean I'm lying or whatever you think it means Janis: we're not going that far back, you said, not everything has to be said for the shit that is to matter, does it Jimmy: loads of people have kept loads of shit from me & if you're gonna be another one then I just wanna know first this time that you are Jimmy: but nah I don't need your life story Janis: Well what do you need Janis: 'cos if you're gonna hold it against me when I tell you something later you wanted to know now then Jimmy: I'm not trying to be that dickhead Jimmy: It's just Jimmy: he's never not in my head Jimmy: my dad Jimmy: & that fucks things up sometimes, I know Jimmy: but me, I don't want to Janis: I know Janis: however much I don't know about the whole situation there, I know that Janis: I'm not holding that against you, am I Jimmy: you can Jimmy: I hurt you, you can hurt me Janis: I don't want to Janis: and you didn't Jimmy: a bit Janis: just shut up yeah Jimmy: just let me say sorry first Jimmy: 'cause I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: alright Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause he's shit with words & so that's a better sorry] Janis: it's just been a shit day, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: but that's not an excuse Jimmy: I don't wanna do that Janis: can be Janis: it's valid Jimmy: I like you too much for that bollocks Jimmy: it's valid that I'm a dickhead & you can hate me a bit Jimmy: nowt else Janis: well I don't alright so stop Jimmy: [takes her hand & holds it] Jimmy: let's go then Janis: [drops hand 'cos not over it fully] Janis: can you just Janis: learn how to time this shit better Jimmy: It's not like there's a plan Janis: well this is the second time you've done this basically directly after so Janis: probably think about getting one Jimmy: I Jimmy: how else can I say I'm sorry? Janis: you can't Janis: just warning you, mood killer Jimmy: bollocks can't I Jimmy: come on Jimmy: whatever you want Janis: just wait like five minutes next time, yeah Jimmy: I'm not planning a next time Janis: fine Janis: [starts walking] Janis: keep up Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: are you serious Jimmy: like you said, it's been a shit day Janis: thanks a fucking lot Jimmy: I'm doing you a favor girl Jimmy: the mood's dead Janis: who asked you to Janis: and fuck you Jimmy: you're asking me Jimmy: I can actually read, like Janis: where Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fuck off Janis: where Janis: I didn't Jimmy: get between the lines Janis: oh, all the stuff I didn't say, yeah? Janis: that's all you're concerned with now Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: no Jimmy: you've said enough to be going on with Jimmy: I made it too weird, it's not on you anyway Janis: Jesus Christ Janis: seriously Janis: just stop, come on Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: what are you doing here? Jimmy: you're Jimmy: & I'm just Janis: What do you mean what am I doing here? Janis: we're Janis: I'm your girlfriend Janis: and not such a shitty fucking person I wanna see you go back to your Dad so he can make your day worse what the actual fuck Janis: how is that not on me, that you'd rather Jimmy: I want you to want me to stay 'cause you do Jimmy: not 'cause he's a fucking dick Jimmy: but now you don't Jimmy: 'cause I'm as much of a dick Janis: how many times and ways can I tell you I do Janis: and you ain't Janis: this is a ridiculous conversation Jimmy: [this boy is lowkey about to cry my soft son] Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: [sits] Janis: [sits with] Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm sorry Janis: can't we just agree to forget about it Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder cos v sad] Janis: Tell me what to do for you, babe Jimmy: don't leave Jimmy: I'm sorry I fucked it up but don't Janis: I ain't Janis: it's alright Janis: I mean it Janis: nothing that ain't fixable Jimmy: so let me know how to fix it Janis: just don't go home Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: I don't know why I said that Jimmy: proof that I'm not censoring myself I suppose Janis: I know you aren't Janis: you don't have to, I know I Janis: probably overreact to shit sometimes Jimmy: [actually lols again cos same bitch] Jimmy: me too Jimmy: you said, thank fuck nobody was relying on you or whatever when I was talking about Bobby & Cass before Jimmy: I'm not trying to be a burden of bollocks for you today Jimmy: that's it Janis: [lols with] Janis: You aren't Janis: I was just trying to show I knew I had it easier in that respect Janis: I think Jimmy: I've fucked your day up from getting sacked onward Jimmy: you don't need it Janis: well I want it so deal with it Jimmy: [looks at her with love bitch] Janis: [makes stupid face again like 'what' 'cos cannot deal] Jimmy: [kisses her cos likewise can't deal & will say highkey shit] Janis: Are you ready now? Jimmy: [kisses her again cos cheeky like that] Jimmy: am now Jimmy: are you ready to get drunk with some other dickheads? Janis: as long as one of 'em is you Jimmy: top dickhead me Jimmy: king of Janis: I'll allow it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we need to sort ourselves out first we look mad Janis: bit halloween for april maybe Jimmy: only a bit Jimmy: [takes a quick pic of her so she can see how much blood is on her] Janis: Well, if I didn't love myself before Janis: 😍 Jimmy: I like it but Jimmy: I'm weird Janis: you're embracing it now, yeah Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: for right now Janis: gonna lose it's sting as an insult but Janis: I like it Jimmy: I'll think of a new one Jimmy: it's alright Janis: your creativity knows no bounds, babe Jimmy: gotta stay #goals Jimmy: & keep my muse in a job Jimmy: one of us needs to be working Janis: a suitably #richgirl 'job' Janis: one notch above calling myself an 'influencer' still, thank God Jimmy: if I draw you an artsy nude so you can keep your actual of twitter, will you love me madly again? Janis: perhaps Janis: if you're gonna make me look like an old man then no Jimmy: 👌 it'll be my masterpiece Jimmy: no wrinkles just blood, 'cause your #kink Janis: you like it too shut up Jimmy: could be from Mia's severed head Jimmy: everybody'd like it then Janis: Hot Janis: I'd really love you forever then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: consider it done Janis: [Gets up and puts out a hand to pull him up] Jimmy: [takes her hand 'cause he WANNA HOLD IT] Janis: I promised to patch you up Janis: and give you a blowjob, actually so Janis: get a wriggle on Jimmy: you could've got out of that Jimmy: I didn't remember Janis: 💔 Janis: literally Jimmy: I wouldn't forget it once it happened Jimmy: that's the real 💔 Janis: I won't feel sorry for you, boy Janis: the cheek, not to remember everything I say Janis: how un #goals of you Jimmy: you distracted me with a lot of #goals shit you did right here Jimmy: in my defense Janis: I don't know if we're allowing it Janis: I'll consult the girls Jimmy: baby Jimmy: please Janis: You know that actually works on me Janis: how shaming Jimmy: [whispers it in her ear too 'cause he's a dickhead] Jimmy: how do you feel now instead? Janis: I really cannot go down on you right here Janis: I draw the line so stop please Jimmy: [sexy little earlobe moment 'cause he's a shit] Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Um, no you don't Janis: [Pulls him back and kisses him] Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Jimmy: stopping or starting Janis: Your fault Jimmy: I was making you feel no shame Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: Hmm 😑 Janis: you're very Jimmy: do I wanna know Janis: you know you wanna know everything Jimmy: but we should go before it gets properly dark Janis: why, you scared Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: but I do remember you saying you wanted to see me when you were blowing me so Jimmy: not using all my battery on the torch Jimmy: don't like you that much Janis: 😏 Janis: suddenly he remembers Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: the kiss brought it back to me Janis: not gonna have you claiming amnesia from this Janis: calling bullshit right now Jimmy: 😂 Janis: can't be throwing out that many cliches Janis: even these morons will cotton on Jimmy: me? cliched Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 😶 Jimmy: if they made a flick on my life dickhead's be saying that don't happen Jimmy: #original Janis: send the screenplay in to my little brother then Janis: I'll check it out some time Jimmy: I'll get on that now I got all this free time Janis: man of leisure Jimmy: gonna have to do my homework Jimmy: no excuses Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: ew Janis: i'm not doing it with you Jimmy: come over & we'll say we're doing it Jimmy: 😏😏 Janis: that's more like it, nerd Jimmy: you're a nerd Janis: I am not Janis: 👊🍱💰 Jimmy: [playfully shoves her] Jimmy: the fact you reckon that's the kind of lunch I'm taking Jimmy: sort it out, rich girl Janis: [shoulder barges back but gentle 'cos careful girl] Janis: I was very limited by emojis Janis: and did not stalk you, so Janis: I'll ask Gracie Jimmy: you coulda done 🍕🍞🍟🧀 you weirdo Jimmy: even 🥗 Janis: yeah right 😂 Jimmy: what you laughing for? Jimmy: you coulda even done 🍽 Jimmy: you fucked up, nerd Janis: you don't eat salads Janis: you rude bitch Jimmy: I don't eat whatever the fuck emoji you went with Jimmy: [does a hair ruffle like he's Tess in the past & she's Fraze but he's a pisstaking fool] Janis: it was a box i was aiming for lunch box Janis: 😡 Janis: [does face] Jimmy: [lols again cos she cute] Janis: Don't think you can cute your way outta this Jimmy: what if I'm hot? Janis: wouldn't that be the dream Janis: c'est la vie, nerd Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: I'm in so much pain now Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [kisses him but pulls on his pouty lip] Jimmy: 😳 Janis: So cute Jimmy: [kisses her cos she's cute & hot & the dream bye] Janis: Okay Janis: you're hot too Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: now we've established that, come on Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Buster & Rio

Buster: Remember how I reckoned my parents were so checked out Buster: Well they quizzing me now Rio: 😬 So sneaky! Rio: Waiting to see if you were flying solo like Nance too, like Buster: Right? Who knew they had it in them Buster: I told them I met a girl there but my mum clearly ain't buying it Buster: Me and her are having a 🙄 competition basically Rio: Well, at least you can both enjoy that? Rio: Ahh, not good Rio: I'm having my own fun being uncharacteristically vague Rio: Lucky for me only Gracie is so interested to get 👀 suspicious and I can buy her off, like Buster: I'm over it Buster: Literally 18 now sorry fam Buster: Not like I married this mystery girl, like Buster: Just a holiday fling as far as they know Rio: Cold way to break it to me but okay 😜 Rio: Don't think that's the best way to show how mature you are, hittin' em with a YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO but Buster: Very subtle way for you to drop a hint that you're in it for that 💍 babe Buster: That's 'cause I ain't got nothing to prove Buster: They're just showing up since the world knows they let me and Nance go off and do whatever we want Rio: Shup, can rinse you well before that 😉 Rio: No amateur Rio: True facts Rio: Where was the Colin, lads? Tut tut Buster: 💔 When you end up with a girl who's exactly like your ma Buster: How many times are YOU gonna make me ask then? Buster: Rude Buster: 🏆 parents of the year Rio: I mean, definitely a joke to be made about looking outside the fam there Rio: Fool 😂 Rio: Awkward when they reckon they know what a messy year it's been and they only know the half of it Rio: IOU for your sis taking the heat big time Buster: Who you fooling, Cavante, keeping your eyes on that prize 💎 Buster: Yeah Buster: Be interesting to see if she gets the same third degree about how she spent her hol Buster: It's harder to dig when all you've got to go from is aesthetically pleasing scenery, yeah? Unlucky mum Rio: 🙄 You know, you're far more annoying when you ain't somewhere hot and stunning, like Rio: Think on, boy 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: You know I am hot and stunning Buster: Think on how much you miss me already Rio: Sure she's up for the challenge, whether Nancy is up for the jail time is another question entirely Rio: Hmm Buster: 😂 Rio: Though that would soften the blow of our escapades so like Rio: spill that tea, gurl Buster: I hope for her sake its not a top family holiday destination Rio: Omg Rio: Stop Buster: Make me Buster: I'm so bored Rio: Init Rio: Real life's shit Buster: I refuse to call this real when you ain't with me Rio: Babe Rio: I do miss you Rio: spoilt in all the ways Buster: I miss you too Buster: How are we topping that for your birthday then, what's the plan, like? Rio: Damn, the real question Rio: I've got no clue Rio: use this slow shift as an excuse to be looking Buster: I've gotta take you somewhere hotter and more stunning, obviously Buster: Make myself scarce so you get your turn to brag Rio: 'Course Rio: though Indie will be devvo I'm keeping you off the 'gram Buster: Standard Buster: I'll manage a post or two somehow though Rio: Don't let a win get you cocky Rio: even though we totally got away with it Buster: 'Course Buster: We're that good babe Buster: I never doubted it Rio: Obviously Rio: Lucky it's me who's doing it fam Rio: I'd defs know 👀 Buster: You could've done us all a favor and foreseen what was happening with Nance though Buster: Like if you're gonna be such a know-it-all Rio: 😑 Rio: She's very secretive! Buster: Calm down Buster: I'm only playing Rio: Well I feel bad Rio: I should've noticed Buster: Come on Buster: How could you? You ain't at school with her any more Rio: But I was when all this started Buster: Yeah, but like you said, she's been keeping this secret for a long time Buster: We both know if you wanna you'll find a way Rio: Yeah Rio: Guess so Rio: I don't like it Rio: Gonna have to go full mum mode and start reading diaries around here Buster: Well she's one off your list to worry about Buster: It's unlikely she'll pull anything else like this again Buster: Lesson learned Rio: What a way to learn it though Rio: Oh God Buster: I didn't reckon anyone dreading school more than me but she's got me beat for sure Buster: I'm surprised she didn't just hide out on holiday forever like Rio: Seriously Rio: Guess no one is Chloe levels of bad Rio: face it now and it'll be nothing more than a passing joke to everyone else Buster: Exactly Buster: At least when we were away the worst Chlo and that lot could do was like my pics Buster: No point trying to hit me up when I'm that far even if you are really horny Rio: 'Less you're me and bitch keep trying, like Buster: Though I wouldn't put it past her to fly out Buster: I did for you Rio: Yeah, but I'm special 😉 Buster: She's deluded enough to think I am Rio: Shut up you are Buster: She don't know me like you do Buster: Or at all, honestly Rio: She wishes Rio: Psycho, honestly Rio: and I don't just throw the phrase around lightly, like Buster: Unfortunately they ain't limited to your exes or even the 24 Rio: You kidding? Rio: You know how many you're gonna meet in your chosen profession? Rio: Hopefully they won't try and fuck you, like Buster: Unless it's some hot widow who wants me to defend her for offing her husband, like Rio: You fancy being her next victim, alright Rio: more fool you, babe Buster: She could be innocent Buster: Don't be so cynical or jealous, babe Rio: Yeah, save it for the judge Buster: 😏 Rio: 😒 Buster: 😂 Buster: You're funny Rio: Hilarious 🖕 Buster: Yeah Buster: When can I see you again? Rio: About that Buster: What? Rio: They're getting a bit shirty at work with all the time I've been taking off Rio: so I said I'd work every day basically until xmas, busy time and all that Buster: I'll come to you then Buster: Hang out and be distracting Rio: Yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I'm not gonna just not see until Christmas that's ages away Rio: Good Rio: 'cos it is Rio: may as well rinse this festive period for what it's worth though Buster: If I do my homework in the corner don't take the piss though Rio: 🤞 Rio: You gotta Buster: Likewise don't be too 😍 either Buster: I know I'm sexy as but Buster: I'll have to concentrate Rio: Do my best Rio: sexy 🤓 daddy come thru Rio: 😂 Buster: You literally just promised not to take the piss Buster: 😒 Rio: Aww baby Rio: Not, honest Buster: Say that you promise then Rio: 'Course I promise Rio: Easy Rio: You're always hot to me Rio: Nothing you could do, but that ain't a challenge Buster: Good Buster: I'll resist your non-challenge since you're behaving for once Rio: 😇 Rio: Got to set an example for you Buster: But that's easy too yeah? Rio: Naturally Rio: Can't you attest to the fact I'm a good girl yet? Buster: You have your moments Buster: Any chance of you using your influence on my sister if I'm gonna be in Dublin annoying you both until Christmas Rio: I can try Rio: It's hard fighting your corner without saying things I probably shouldn't know though Buster: Oh Buster: Shit I never thought of that Rio: Yeah Rio: if I can get her to talk to you though, then you can say what I know Rio: so, I'll see, sure I can manage that at least Buster: Forget it Rio: I obviously won't Rio: busybody for life Rio: it won't seem strange, she knows it about me too, like Buster: But still Rio: I won't if you seriously don't want Buster: I don't know Rio: You don't need to rush it but like Rio: don't let it fester, won't make it any easier Buster: The longer this goes on the more unnecessarily dramatic it seems Buster: But I don't know what to do if she won't hear me out Buster: And not enough ways to properly say sorry either, like Rio: Yeah Rio: I know it feels counter-intuitive but sometimes you have to talk when the other person reckons they don't wanna hear it Rio: you can't both be stubborn on this one, and you're the one that needs her to break so you gotta go first Buster: Yeah Buster: Okay Buster: I'll chat to her at the weekend when I come see you Rio: Proud of you Buster: Shut up Rio: 😏 Rio: Try not to get too angry Rio: she's fuming enough, like Buster: Cheers for that, babe Buster: Would've never have guessed, like Rio: I'm just saying Rio: it ain't gonna work if you can't be the bigger person for a hot sec Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Buster: Rio Rio: Buster? Buster: Thanks Buster: Seriously Rio: Don't mention it Buster: I have to Buster: Nobody else is gonna Rio: On your behalf? Rio: Shouldn't think so, know you ain't got a secretary yet Buster: Is that you volunteering your services, babe? Rio: Ha Rio: fun as that'd be, you'd never get anything done and my shorthand probably ain't all that, like Buster: What's your typing speed? Rio: You're interviewing me now? Buster: Why not Rio: Okay Rio: Think how fast that reply was is enough of an indication of my typing speed and eagerness Buster: You're hired Rio: That was easy Rio: I would've done anything to get this job, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Still plenty of potential promotions to negotiate, babe Buster: I just know how badly you want this job Rio: Good to know Rio: All about that upward mobility Rio: What's your boss like? Buster: I'm my own boss Rio: 🤤 Rio: Okay can't pretend Rio: that was hot Buster: You're hot Buster: I'm so glad I don't have to pretend about that any more Buster: To you at least Rio: Please don't Rio: Take my pay in compliments Buster: Gonna have to give you a pay rise straight away then Rio: So cute Buster: I just miss you Buster: I can't help it Rio: I miss you too Rio: Did you have a good birthday then? Buster: You know I did Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I did Rio: a lot Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: I kinda love you Buster: You really love me Buster: You can say it Rio: Okay Rio: I love you a lot Buster: Good Buster: And I had a really great birthday with you Rio: Get used to it Rio: Can't jet-set at Christmas sadly but still find a way to treat you Buster: Do you reckon we can for your birthday though? Buster: I don't want you to lose your job but I don't wanna not take you away Rio: I can't literally work all the time now 'til then Rio: fuck that Rio: if they're gonna be that arsey I'll just quit Rio: don't want me showing up to work with my 18s on when i've been working there over a year do you Buster: You'll easily be able to get a better job when you actually are 18 though Buster: So yeah fuck them Rio: God I hope so Rio: such an old man pub Rio: not a mood Buster: You will babe Buster: You're the only decent thing about that place Buster: Besides, if it comes down to it, you'll always be my secretary so 😏 Rio: Yeah, that's keeping the lights on 😉 Rio: I can't wait now Rio: Maybe I can convince Indie to move somewhere more decent with me Buster: Bribe her with a dog Buster: That should work Rio: A trail of dog treats out of the 24 Rio: Aww Buster: I feel like she'll never leave it'll be like when you move house but your cat don't Buster: Just keeps coming back, like Rio: As much as the mangy feline comparison gotta sting Rio: I feel it Rio: Bless her Buster: Just move in here Buster: Every problem solved Buster: As long as you go back to feed Indie Rio: When you're probably pissing off to America in a year? Rio: I don't wanna be stuck in that postcode on my own thanks Buster: Come to American then Buster: They're only slightly more annoying Rio: Yeah right Buster: I promise you Yanks ain't that bad Rio: You're funny Buster: Yeah but I also ain't lying Rio: Got that on good faith have you? Buster: 'Course Buster: Posh cunts are posh cunts wherever you go Rio: Wanna talk no class though Chlo Rio: they don't even understand th concept Buster: I wonder what uni she'll end up at Buster: I can't really quiz her for where to cross off my list Rio: Surely she ain't smart enough for wherever you go Rio: no matter who she knows Buster: I can't say I've ever peered at her papers when they've handed the grades back Buster: But you're probably right Rio: Maybe I'm just being a bitch and want her to be thick Rio: she doesn't come across smart if she is Buster: 😂 Rio: So jealous, yeah? Rio: Tragic Buster: You aren't really though, yeah? Buster: For any of it, I mean, not just me Buster: She's not that rich or posh either, honestly Rio: Nah, I mean Rio: I dunno Rio: not like I'm poor or actual scum Rio: just reckon it'd be nice to be like her and so oblivious Rio: Too much shit in this family to not have a care in the world, even if the money's good, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: And like I've said before, I like how you are Rio: That's alright then 😏 Buster: She only thinks we look good together on paper 'cause I'm a cunt on paper Buster: Forget her Rio: Yeah Rio: 'Course Rio: she can like your shit all she wants, I was there Buster: She wants to know who you are so badly Buster: That's why she's hovering around my posts Rio: Can't act like I ain't been there Rio: nosy bitches unite but fuck off Buster: You're nothing like her though Buster: Thank Christ Rio: Don't think I could pull it off 😂 Buster: She can't either but it ain't stopping her Buster: Works on the lads well enough Rio: That ain't hard, trust me Buster: Clearly Buster: I'm trying not to think about how many lads you and her have in common at this point Rio: Won't hit her up to compare notes then Buster: You're safe I don't think you're on her radar even if you did Rio: Should I be offended Buster: Relieved is how I'd take it Buster: But take it however you like Rio: Will do Buster: Don't be mad though Rio: I ain't mad Rio: Why are we talking about her anyway Buster: That sounds like you're raging about it Rio: Just 'cos I don't wanna talk about Little Miss Chloe? Buster: Well, yeah Rio: If you've got more to say about her Rio: feel free Buster: Don't be like that Rio: I dunno what you want me to say Rio: talk about her or don't, i'm really fine Buster: Whatever Buster: Forget it and forget her Rio: Done Buster: Are you working tonight? Rio: Yeah Rio: back to reality with a dull thump Buster: Agreed Buster: I've got an essay to write so I'm gonna need as much distraction as you Rio: Won't get it from me Rio: 😇 Good girl, remember? Buster: Come on Buster: What happened to our swapped roles? Rio: Gonna have to do a lot more to convince me to distract you from your studies Rio: Shouldn't be promising all those frat boys and rich professors, like Rio: How else am I getting there, babe? Buster: Get a plane ticket and you're there, babe Buster: One look at you and they'd be convinced Rio: Yeah but you make the whole thing a bit more legitimate Buster: What you mean is, it's no fun for you teasing them if it also doesn't get to me, yeah? Rio: You reckon this is all about you? Buster: I know it is Rio: Cocky dickhead Buster: Maybe Buster: But it's still true Rio: Well Rio: What're you going to do about it Buster: Obviously you need reminding that it is all about me Buster: 'Cause you're mine Buster: And I'm keeping you Buster: But I've got an idea Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: I bought you something when I went shopping the other day, I reckon you can have it now it's no longer my birthday, like Rio: What Buster: No spoilers, wait until it gets to you Rio: Is it a birthday present do I have to wait that long? Buster: 'Course not Buster: I'm no amateur, babe Rio: You can't just buy me things for no reason Rio: and without warning Buster: Don't you want it? Buster: You'll like it, I promise Rio: I mean Rio: Of course I do but Rio: I've not got you anything Buster: That's not why I did it so it doesn't matter Rio: Okay Rio: no spoilers and all but can I have a clue Buster was timed out 20 hours ago Buster joined the chat 20 hours ago Buster: Your clue will be to check the post tomorrow, like Buster: I know you don't like waiting so Rio: Babe Buster: What, you think I'm gonna give you time to talk me out of it? Nah Rio: You're bad Rio: Honestly Buster: You love it Rio: You're an idiot Rio: You really miss me that much already? Buster: 'Course Buster: I miss you more the more time I get to spend with you Buster: Is that not how it's meant to work Rio: It's encouraging Rio: and a decent review so Rio: cheers Buster: You're welcome Rio: [Present arrives] Rio: I can't believe you sent that in the post Rio: to the 24, of all places Buster: What can I say? Where's the fun in not taking risks Rio: It's so Rio: perfect Rio: how'd you know? Buster: Easy Buster: I know what you like Rio: Yeah Buster: Besides, if you didn't i'd just send it to my other girlfriend, obviously Rio: Piss off Rio: Good luck getting it back, I'd sell it Buster: 😂 Buster: 'Course you would Buster: Can't take the 24 from the girl, yeah? Rio: Just saving you from bad 🍀 Rio: you can't regift Buster: Cheers for that, babe Buster: You're the best Rio: Shut up Rio: thanks Buster: 🤐 Buster: Like I said the other day, you're welcome Rio: I miss you Rio: I'm wearing it now Buster: I miss you too Buster: Yeah? How does it look? Rio: [Sends pics] Buster: I already knew what the answer would be, but I'm not sorry Rio: It's alright, I don't mind that you've got ulterior motives Buster: Good 'cause I'm not saying you have to thank me with actions as well as words but if you wanna, I'm not gonna say no Rio: Definitely keep you in mind, babe Rio: not hurt your #ranking like Buster: I'll keep you in mind too Buster: Constantly Rio joined the chat 18 hours ago Rio: I wish you were here Rio: or I was there Rio: whatever Rio: I want you Buster: Me too Buster: So tempted to skip school but shhh Rio: Shh indeed Rio: Best behaviour or your 'rents might go the whole 9 yards and ground you Buster: The only way I'm gonna agree to not being able to leave my room is if I sneak you in first Rio: You don't get to negotiate baby 😂 Buster: Please, they'd love that Rio: Probably Rio: Bunch of weirdos, swear down Buster: When I graduate from Havard or whatever they can take their share of the credit Rio: Of course Rio: I'll keep it hush about our study seshs Rio: don't worry Buster: Nah, you've gotta take your dues too Rio: Probably won't interrupt their speech with it Rio: way to break news though Buster: You not gonna make your own? Buster: Just gonna say everything you've gotta say in private instead, yeah? Rio: Obviously Rio: You'll be glad of it, trust Buster: How glad? Rio: Get you saying your hallelujahs despite your feelings on the big man Buster: Get me writing my vows Buster: I know your game, babe Rio: 😒 Rio: You dumb Buster: You love me Buster: Always have, always will Rio: Umm don't be trying to write mine for me Rio: cheek Buster: Don't be acting like that ain't what you're gonna say Buster: Just make the kiss sound like better than it was, yeah? Rio: Ha, get dragged at your own wedding, ouch Rio: You might reckon I'm predictable but I'm not that much of a bitch Buster: I could call you a lot of shit, but predictable, nah Buster: not you baby Rio: Yeah yeah Rio: being sweet now 😏 Buster: Hold up, I'll send you another gift Rio: Will snitch on you Rio: get your cards revoked for your own good 😂 Buster: No you wouldn't Rio: It does go against everything I usually stand for Rio: but I'll make an exception for you Buster: Awh babe you're gonna break all your rules for me Buster: So cute Rio: 😣 Rio: Imma break your face in a minute Buster: Are you standing on a chair right now? Buster: Be careful Rio: 😡 Rio: GRR Buster: 😂 Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Rio: even if you are rude Buster: It ain't my fault you're small Rio: You make it sound like I've got something wrong with me! Buster: Shut up Buster: You're perfect and you know it Buster: But I'm not gonna pick you up so you can smack me Rio: Well if you're nice I have a better idea Buster: 😇 Rio: Only look like one, boy Buster: Don't lie Buster: You know how nice I can be Rio: True Rio: got the reminder now Buster: You're gonna wear it, right? Buster: Not just for me Rio: Of course Rio: It's beautiful Buster: Yeah but is everyone else gonna notice that too? Rio: You mean am I gonna get mugged? Rio: It isn't that ghetto here forreal Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: I mean, are your fam gonna be asking endless questions how they do Rio: Might be asking why I'm dropping so much 💲💲💲 on myself but not really their business Rio: We're good Rio: Not an 💍 is it Buster: Alright Buster: Don't want you reckoning I gave it to you to give you another reason why we've gotta tell 'em Rio: Nah, I didn't think that Rio: although it is rude I've gotta take your recognition on it but Buster: Keep praying for that ring, babe Rio: Sure thing 😏 Rio: Could be playing a dangerous game giving me ideas, boy Buster: Is that supposed to worry me? Buster: I love a dangerous game Rio: Don't I know it Rio: Game on 👊 Buster: I wish we could Buster: It's so shit without you here Rio: I know Rio: Life and soul Rio: Looks like there's nothing to do but your essay 🤷 Buster: I've finished that Buster: Waiting on my reward here Rio: Aside from your A? 🤓 Buster: Obviously Rio: Lucky for you I finished your reward too Rio: Great minds, babe Rio: [Video] Buster: Fuck Buster: Well, okay then Rio: Grade me then Buster: Definitely an A for effort Rio: Yeah? Well, how can I improve the execution Rio: use your words, baby Buster: I can't Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: Works for me Rio: You're welcome 😋 Buster: How are you so hot? Rio: You must inspire it in me Buster: I'm actually speechless Buster: I want you so bad Rio: I know Rio: tell me how you want me Buster: I'd tell you to put this desk to better use but I need you so much I think we'd break it Rio: Guess you're going to have to pick me up like you wanna and slam me against the wall instead Buster: I can make that work Rio: You better Rio: I need to cum Buster: You're gonna cum for me baby Rio: I will if you keep talking Buster: [Sends own vid] Buster: Actions speak louder Rio: Fuck Rio: Yeah they do Rio: You know what it does to me when you make those noises Buster: Call me Buster: You can have them all Rio: [A phonecall later] Rio: You're the best Buster: That's my line Rio: Stop being so fucking good and you can have it back Buster: I don't want it that bad Buster: Just you Rio: I know Rio: I'm already so desperate for you so imagine how needy I'm gonna be by the weekend Buster: I know Buster: I feel it too Rio: Well, maybe I won't be such a moody cow at work now at least Rio: owed so many rounds when you're back in town, like Buster: In both senses of the word Buster: Drinks laid on the bar and you bent over it Rio: BUSTER 😲 Buster: Gotta give you some incentive to stay at work until closing time Rio: Jesus Rio: Now I'm turned on again Buster: I'd say sorry but 1. I ain't and 2. that's easy to fix Rio: I know you ain't but I've gotta get ready so Rio: maybe by the time I'm done you will be Rio: sorry you ain't here, like Buster: You reckon? Rio: You don't? Rio: Challenge accepted Buster: You're going to work not the club, yeah? Rio: How dare you doubt me Rio: Offended Buster: Calm down Buster: If you've got nothing to prove then you don't need to worry, do you? Rio: But clearly I do, babe Buster: You don't Buster: I'm just mad you're leaving Rio: I know, stupid real life getting in the way of all the great sex we wanna have Rio: not like I'll be totally unreachable Buster: But you're basically untouchable Buster: I never thought I'd be so buzzing for Christmas Hols. Not that a fortnight will be enough, like Rio: 😔 Rio: Oh Rio: I just had a good idea though Rio: to make you wait until my bday or nah Buster: Depends how good of an idea it is Buster: And how patient you can be about it Rio: It's a great idea Rio: idk why I only just thought of it Rio: fuck it, we're patient enough about everything else Rio: download this app Buster: Alright Buster: No arguments from me Rio: So, basically, you can control it from where you are Rio: almost like touching, right? Buster: Is this why you believe in God? Buster: 'Cause like not saying I'm coming around to the idea but Rio: Pretty high on my list, though best I keep that to myself on Sundays no matter how #blessed I feel Rio: ain't the spirit inside me, like Buster: 😂 Rio: I can wear them to work if you promise to be sensible Buster: I promise to treat you right, babe Rio: Not the same thing but 🤤 Buster: I'm never calling you an idiot again Buster: There's a promise for you Rio: Damn Rio: All the wins for me Buster: I love you Buster: So fucking much Rio: I love you more Buster: Is that a challenge? Rio: I mean Rio: if it motivates you, babe Buster: It'll motivate me to make the most of this app Rio: Then it definitely is Rio: yep 😏 Buster: If you think you're desperate now, you'll need a new word soon Rio: I'll do my best to think on it whilst you're fucking my brains out Buster: If you can think of anything but me I'm not going hard enough Rio: Well you're in control, daddy Rio: you know what to do Buster: Yeah I do Buster: You're gonna get fucked so good, baby Rio: Please Buster: Say it for me again Rio: Maybe I should save my begging for when I really need it Buster: 😏 full of good ideas today, like Rio: Can't even joke today Rio: you know it baby Buster: Always known it Rio: I'm gonna need that one in writing Buster: It's right there Rio: You been playing but that's the legal and binding document I'm really about Buster: I'm so proud Rio: 😊 Buster: Let's see this mindblowing work outfit then Rio: 🙄 I really need to work on expectation management Buster: No you don't Rio: [Snap] Buster: You're not wearing that Rio: I am though? Buster: Behave Buster: Trying to make me miss you before you've even gone Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: That's the whole point Rio: Silly Buster: Yeah but my point is how turned on I am whilst trying to be so 😇 Rio: Don't be good Rio: The more turned on you are the harder you'll fuck me Buster: How 😈 do you want me to be? Rio: Well Rio: I want you to cum Rio: whatever that takes Buster: If you keep talking like that it won't take much Rio: Better 😶 'til you got me closer then Rio: it's best when we do it together Buster: Yeah that's how I want it Rio: I wish you could cum inside me Buster: Me too Buster: Soon though Rio: I'm already thinking about it though Rio: amongst all the other things we're gonna do Buster: I never stop thinking about it Buster: I can't Buster: Good thing I'm smart or that essay would've been illegible Rio: 😂 accidentally outs us to your teach Rio: I know the feeling though, babe Buster: How the fuck did my sister actually get decent grades Buster: I'm impressed Buster: Don't tell her like but Rio: Yeah, I don't think that's how you wanna start the 'let's be friends' convo Rio: so I'll keep it to myself 😂 Buster: Appreciate it Rio: I still don't see it Rio: very much not the point but Buster: What? Rio: The teacher Rio: she ain't even cute Buster: What does she look like? Rio: Oh, hold up Rio: [pics from facebook] Buster: Are you joking right now or is that really her? Rio: Obviously it is Rio: If I was joking I'd pick someone ridiculously unfanciable Rio: she's just like Rio: a normal woman? Buster: What the fuck Buster: Too late for me to have a word with Nance but like Rio: Right? Rio: It makes it worse Rio: at least if everyone else thought she was fuckable Nance would get an easier time of it but nah Buster: At least if she was fuckable it'd be worth losing your mind over her Buster: Christ Buster: Her girlfriend was alright though, like I wouldn't but Rio: We'd know, babe Rio: Idk if she even liked her now or what Rio: what a mess Buster: I don't know what I pictured this teacher looking like but that wasn't it Buster: Clearly I know my sister even less than I reckoned Buster: Fucking hell Rio: You really thought she'd be hot? 😂 Rio: Boy Buster: Hotter than that Buster: I'm not saying she had to be ruin your life hot but like this crush was years long, yeah? Rio: It was obviously about what was inside, like Rio: looking back she spent more time in her classroom than necessary, just thought she wanted somewhere to hide, like Buster: I'm not having that Buster: If you wanna get inside someone then it's about the outside too Buster: I'm not fucking anyone 'cause they have a decent personality Rio: Well nah, that ain't your type is it Buster: Whose type is it? Like I bet even when her husband first hit that she was younger and hotter Rio joined the chat 5 hours ago Rio: Her husband ain't anything special either Rio: he's a teacher too, you know Buster: What? Buster: At your school? Rio: Yeah Rio: he teaches Irish Buster: Shit Rio: I know Rio: and their son is in our year, that's why everyone's losing their shit Buster: And nobody was gonna tell me none of this ever Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Obviously Nance ain't in the mood but yeah Rio: reckoned your 'rents would've Buster: Obviously not Buster: No wonder she fucking hates me if she blames me for starting this shit storm Rio: It's fucked Rio: she knows that's a flimsy excuse but yeah Buster: Is it though? If she's gone years without putting any moves on she could've gone one more easy Buster: Until I fucked her head up Rio: You hardly made her Buster: Well I didn't stop her Rio: If she had her mind set on it you couldn't Buster: Yeah I could Rio: Well regardless Rio: happened now Buster: I can't believe my fucking parents Buster: If we weren't fucking I wouldn't be in the loop about anything Rio: They probably reckoned they were saving her further embarrassment Rio: but you're welcome for the unexpected perk? Buster: What do they think I'm gonna do? Buster: Nice to know they reckon I'm that much of a cunt Rio: Come on Rio: The jokes come easy, you wouldn't be the first or only Buster: She's my fucking sister Rio: I know Buster: Some shit's off limits Buster: They're as bad as Chlo is Buster: I'm not gonna laugh it up, like Rio: That might not be why they haven't said Rio: You know what they're like, could have easily just not occurred to them Buster: Yeah, well fuck them Rio: Bit strong Buster: How are you on their side? Rio: I'm not Rio: Just don't get mad at them based off conjuncture Buster: Act like it then Rio: Don't shoot the messenger Buster: I ain't Buster: I'm asking you to back me instead of them Buster: what the fuck Rio: I do Buster: Don't defend their bullshit then Rio: Don't have a go at me Rio: I'm just looking at all sides of it Buster: Like their side matters Buster: You're on mine Rio: Exactly Rio: so I don't want you running your mouth if you don't need to Rio: just trying to save you from more aggro Buster: Fuck off Buster: I have self control Rio: Use it then Buster: You're as bad as them Buster: What do you think I'm gonna do? Buster: I'm not about to go find them to shout the odds Rio: Alright then Rio: I'm not doing this rn Buster: What does that mean? Rio: That I'm too busy to go 'round the houses on this one with you Buster: Fuck you then Buster: If you don't wanna talk to me, don't Rio: This ain't talking Buster: Typing. Whatever Rio: That ain't what I mean Rio: You're just shouting at me, you can blow off steam on your own Buster: Bullshit Buster: I'm not mad at you Rio: Nah? Buster: Come on Buster: You're the only one on my side Buster: I'm not that much of an idiot Rio: They ain't against you Buster: Maybe not but they ain't exactly for me either Rio: Maybe not Rio: not their style Buster: I'm sorry, yeah? Rio: It's alright Buster: It's not Buster: I'm not trying to take shit out of you Rio: Shit happens Rio: I know you're stressed Buster: And you're the only thing that doesn't stress me Buster: You know that, don't you? Rio: Duh Rio: I'm a delight Buster: Actually though Buster: I wish you were here right now Rio: I know Rio: Me too Rio: You're alright, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: I just miss you Buster: Standard Buster: It's so easy to forget everything else when I've got you with me Rio: I feel it Rio: but fuck forgetting yeah? we're gonna start sorting shit Rio: grown up style Buster: Full of so many good ideas, Cavante Rio: Just gotta listen, babe Buster: I am, I promise Rio: I love you Buster: I love you Buster: Don't forget it, okay Rio: I ain't gonna Rio: don't worry Buster: Good Rio: Ugh guess who's here Buster: Tell me Rio: Ryan Rio: really starting to think he'd got a life Buster: He better behave himself Rio: Yeah, he's with other people so Rio: still, plenty of pubs lads but whatever Buster: Do what you've gotta do, babe Buster: I'm here Rio: I'm an expert at ignoring him by this point Buster: 'Course Buster: All that matters is that he returns the favor, like Rio: I swear he was cuter when I went out with him Rio: not cute enough to warrant this but like ick Buster: He really wasn't Rio: Well clearly his personality was fire Buster: Again I'm gonna go out on a limb and disagree Rio: 😂 why are you trying drive me to drink here Buster: 'Cause I can't drive you to distraction if he's there Buster: Cunt would think you were hot for him still Rio: Obviously Rio: girls love dedication Buster: Is that what he calls it? Rio: Best if I don't question it Buster: I still reckon its best if I knock him out Rio: Looks like someone beat you to it Rio: his face is fucked Buster: I'd ask how you know it ain't me but Buster: If I started I'm not stopping there Rio: Yeah come on babe, no quitter Buster: You've got jokes but I ain't making one Buster: Maybe it was your new bestie Rio: Who? Buster: Drew Buster: Could be an early birthday gift Rio: Oh lol Rio: Maybe Rio: drug debt Buster: Yeah exactly Buster: At least you look good Rio: How's that a good thing? Buster: It's never not when you see your ex Rio: Sudden expert 😏 Rio: so cute Buster: Shut up Buster: I've got plenty of girls I'd rather not see again Buster: More than you've got official exes Rio: You reckon Buster: You don't? Rio: I dunno Rio: do we really wanna compare numbers Buster: I'll tell you if you wanna know Buster: But it doesn't really matter Rio: Nah Rio: know you'll just get jealous Buster: You know you'll get jealous you mean Rio: I said what I said boy Buster: And you meant what you meant Buster: Which is what I said Rio: Shut up Buster: Make me, babe Rio: No, you'd enjoy it far too much Buster: You say that like it's bad thing Buster: You know you'd get yours Rio: and they say romance is dead 😜 Buster: Says you wearing a bracelet just 'cause Rio: 😏 Shh Buster: Shh me Buster: I've got a lot to say Rio: Go on then Rio: Enlighten me babe Buster: For starters, you've got me feeling like I have to prove what a romantic I am Buster: So it's about time that I mastered this app Buster: Until you feel the love Rio: Baby Rio: I was just playing Buster: If you wanna play, we'll play babe Rio: 😻 Buster: 😏 Rio: You just wanna hear me beg Buster: Yeah Rio: Fair Rio: I've just gotta keep the whole bar from hearing, like Buster: Tell yourself it's only for me Buster: I know you can do it Rio: 😊 Rio: so supportive Buster: It's just a shame I'm not there to actually hold you up Buster: I reckon you're gonna need it Buster: Hang onto the bar, baby Rio: Oh God Buster: He's not taking the credit for this Buster: It's all me Rio: Yeah it's all yours baby Buster: Good 'cause I want it Rio: I want you so bad right now Buster: I know Buster: But you can cum for me as many times as you need Rio: I got your permission? Buster: As long as you're quiet Rio: Fuck Rio: Buster, I can't Buster: Yes you can, baby Rio: I need you to tell me to Buster: Well, I need you to cum for me now Rio: Jesus Rio: Please keep doing whatever it is you're doing Buster: If you say please like you mean it Rio: Please baby Rio: fuck me harder i wanna cum for you right here Buster: Like that? Or like this? Rio: Shit Rio: 2nd one definitely 2nd one Buster: Good to know Rio: Please 😩 Rio: You're teasing me so much Buster: Is that better? Rio: I'm so close Buster: Let's go harder then Rio: I should definitely go somewhere private but also don't trust myself to walk away from this bar Buster: Stay right there, babe Rio: Okay, only because doing what you say makes me every tighter Buster: I know Buster: You love doing what you're told Rio: Only when it's you doing the telling though Buster: I'm the only one who can make you feel this good that's why Rio: It's true Buster: I love you Rio: I can't believe that just made me cum Rio: 😳 Buster: I can Buster: It's a good app babe, well done Rio: You have no idea Rio: Regulars asking if I'm alright like not just babe Buster: 😂 Buster: You've got so many more hours to survive too Buster: Good luck babe Buster: I'm only just getting started with this Rio: Please Rio: Be serious Buster: I'm so serious Rio: Babe Buster: Yeah? Rio: I love you Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you more Buster: You'll be too tired to miss me when this shift is over Rio: Awh is that your plan? Rio: So chivalrous Buster: 'Course Rio: Will you go to sleep with me when I'm done Buster: Yeah Buster: You know that's the only way I wanna sleep if you can't be here Rio: Good Buster: How long have you actually got left? Rio: You sleepy babe? Buster: Hilarious Buster: I'm just thinking about how much I'll be able to tire you out Rio: You've got about 3 hours total left Rio: Use 'em wisely Buster: Plenty of time

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

Text

Rio & Buster

Rio: How gone are you? Rio: I'm wrecked Buster: I'm fine Buster: 'Course Rio: Okay 😏 Rio: Imma go if you ain't on my level then boy Buster: Don't Buster: Talk to me Rio: Been having fun, boo? Buster: Yeah Buster: Mostly when I knocked James out Buster: 😂 Rio: Why'd you do that then Buster: Never shuts up that boy Rio: You better watch out if that's grounds for a kicking tonight, babe Buster: It's my party I can fight who I want to Rio: 🙄 Rio: You're funny Buster: I know Buster: He knows it now as well, like Rio: Coming in hot, I guess Buster: When am I not? 😏 Rio: 😂 Rio: If you say so Buster: You can say it too, I know you're thinking it Rio: You sure? Buster: Yeah Rio: No doubt you been hearing it all night yeah Rio: unless you're fighting everyone Buster: I wanna hear it from you Rio: I'll ring you in a bit Rio: if you want Buster: Don't forget Buster: You're wrecked Rio: I'm not that far gone Rio: just not tryna be that bitch Buster: What? Rio: Blowing up your phone every five seconds, like Buster: I like it Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I already miss you proper bad Buster: I miss you too Buster: Dancing with all these girls who aren't you Rio: Same Rio: It isn't the same, they aren't you Buster: Exactly Buster: They're boring Buster: and don't even know what they're trying to do Rio: I'm sorry you're bored but I ain't Rio: Don't forget Rio: only I can do you like I do Buster: Don't remind me Buster: I can't stop thinking about you as is Rio: But I have to Buster: No Buster: 'Cause I know and you know I know Rio: Fine Buster: Don't sulk about it Rio: Shut up, I ain't Buster: You never say fine if you are Rio: Whaddya want me to say? Rio: I'm superduper fabulous Buster: You're an idiot Rio: Must be, babe, must be Rio: don't knock it Buster: Shut up Rio: Do you wanna talk to me or nah Rio: gonna get a complex you keep telling me to shut up Buster: I love you Buster: I want you here Rio: Okay said I'm not that gone but Rio: doubt I'm getting on a plane levels of sober, baby Buster: We need a private one Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Both gonna need to be on our grind for a bit longer for that, babe Rio: You cute Buster: I'll call my dad put the demand in before my birthday rolls around Buster: Helicopter at least, like Rio: 😂 Rio: knew you was just spoiling for a fair fight Buster: He wishes it was still fair Rio: Damn Rio: talking an awfully big game tonight boy Buster: Come on Buster: It ain't just talk Rio: I ain't gonna comment Rio: impartial as, obvs Buster: You can say it Buster: Not gonna forward this to him Rio: Wouldn't be the best idea you'd ever had Rio: for many reasons more serious than you doubting his 💪 Buster: I'm not asking you if it's a good idea Buster: Forget it Buster: If you're not gonna be on my side Rio: You're silly Buster: Fuck off Buster: Am not Rio: Don't Pout Rio: we're playing Buster: Whatever Rio: Not whatever Rio: what you thinking? Buster: Like I said, forget it Buster: I've done too many lines Rio: Alright Rio: earnt it after all your 📚🤓 Buster: I forgot shit's better here than in Dublin Buster: One thing that is Rio: 😏 shame you can't do a run for us, like Buster: Come here more Rio: I will Rio: not as if I need to think of an excuse Rio: as long as I avoid your 'rents, it'll be easy Buster: Yeah and they're easy to avoid Rio: Works for me Rio: making awkward morning conversation with 'em the once was bad enough Rio: wasn't even banging you then so Buster: They appeared, we all raised our glasses to cheers and they disappeared again Buster: Good times Buster: You know better now though, yeah? Buster: Fuck being polite Buster: Ignore and avoid like I do Rio: You wanted 'em to stick around and hang? 😂 Rio: I'll stick to avoiding, not their moody teen so I'm not coming at 'em with a fuck off attitude in their own home Buster: 😂 Buster: You keep calling me moody tonight? Buster: You feeling like you're missing out on a decent fight or what? Rio: You know you is Rio: not just got that bottom lip out for the 'gram Rio: nah, all love here, like Buster: I know you wanna fight and fuck Buster: Standard Rio: So what, you reckon 1 outta 2 ain't bad? Buster: Do you reckon I can't fuck you from here Buster: I'm just a phone call away Rio: Don't be a tease again Buster: I'm only a tease if I don't do it Rio: Yeah and you can't rn Rio: I doubt the party's over already Buster: Like that matters Buster: I can do whatever I want Rio: Back on your rich boy hype, yeah? 😉 Buster: Back? I never left it, babe Buster: Forever on this pedestal Rio: 'Course Buster: 💰 talks in whatever postcode, like Rio: Probably true Buster: Actually true Buster: You wouldn't be hustling so hard to make it if it didn't speak for you Rio: Yeah but what's it saying about me to the locals hm Rio: not planning to stay in the 24 forever, shocking, I know Buster: 'Course Buster: You're coming with me Rio: Where? Buster: Everywhere Rio: Yeah Rio: I love you you know Buster: I love you Rio: We're gonna do great things yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: You motivate me, babe Rio: Backatcha Rio: You actually get what I'm trying to do Rio: not just thinking there's nothing else I can do Buster: What cunts are thinking that? Rio: You know, s'what everyone lowkey thinks but doesn't say Rio: but I don't care Buster: Whoever are going around thinking that are the braindead ones Rio: I know I should finish school but it just felt like a waste of time Rio: when I could be out there learning and getting to know the right people to know Buster: You know what you're doing Buster: If they can't work it out, more fool them Rio: Plus I needed the cash for Indie so Rio: Gotta do what you gotta do sometimes Buster: Exactly Buster: Like I gotta finish school so I can get to uni Buster: Even though this school is a headfuck Rio: All about the next step, babe Rio: I couldn't stick it, from what Nance has said and what I've seen of your mates but Rio: is what it is, you're a bit touched if you really rate school, I reckon Buster: 😂 You can't call me that much of a nerd, like Rio: Thank God Rio: taking the whole school boy fantasy vibe way too far, nah 😂 Buster: I know where to draw the line, don't worry Rio: You do? Rio: News to me Rio: Lemme know where I fall, yeah? 😉 Buster: On the right side Rio: Good to know Buster: 😏 Rio: Don't go getting too 😇 on me Buster: 😈 tonight, yeah? Rio: Please Buster: Say it again Rio: Buster Buster: That works too Rio: Save my prettiest pleases for when you can actually hear 'em Buster: Save your voice 'cause we're gonna be on the phone so long you'll start to lose it Rio: 😻 Rio: Promises, promises Buster: You've got it in writing, babe Rio: Catch me sending screenshots of the shit you said drunk to sober you in the AM 😂 Rio: what cures a hangover faster, welcome in advance, baby Buster: I said what I said and I meant what I meant Buster: You can't scare me Rio: Poetic Rio: Catch me swooning 😏 Buster: Shhh Rio: Damn, you mean you ain't gonna recite poetry to me until dawn? Rio: Gutted Buster: I can if you want Buster: This education has equipped me with plenty of that shit Rio: I mean, I'd rather you fucked me like you said you would Rio: if it's all the same to you Buster: I can do both Buster: You'll be the one losing your voice, like, not me Rio: Bit rude you're saying I can't give as good as back Rio: 😒 Buster: I'm just saying you're louder Rio: 😳 Buster: You're so good, baby Buster: Don't doubt 'cause you're meant to be reminding me, remember Rio: Oh right Rio: Lucky I took photos earlier 'cos dread to think Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: well your video got me missing you again, couldn't get ready properly i was so distracted so Rio: had to do something, right? Buster: Show me Buster: I haven't stopped missing you Rio: [All the nudes] Buster: Well now you have to call me Buster: Fuck Rio: Alright Rio: give me a sec to get alone Buster: Okay Rio: [A call later] Rio: S'no joke how cold it is out there Rio: We get it, summer's over Buster: Don't be cuddling up to anyone Rio: Who am I gonna? Rio: A bouncer on my way back in Buster: I know you've got form with it, babe Rio: 'Scuse me? Buster: Keeping 'em on side one way or another Rio: Piss off Rio: I'm not a cuddle whore you are Buster: Fuck off Rio: You can't deny Rio: I been knowing Buster: 😒 Rio: Aww, grumpy baby Rio: you know I don't want anyone who ain't you, not even for hugs Buster: Me either Buster: So don't be chatting like I do Rio: I'm not Buster: Good Rio: Don't be mad Buster: I'm sorry Buster: I'm just wrecked Rio: I know Rio: it's cool Rio: can go all out before school starts again and you've gotta be good Buster: School ain't gotta change a thing Buster: I'm still gonna be 😈 Rio: Hmm Buster: You don't reckon? Rio: Nah, I'm sure you're gonna go outta your way to prove it Rio: coke's just good adderral, yeah 🙄 Buster: You're rolling your eyes but you're not wrong Rio: Oh boy Buster: You love me Rio: 🍀 you Buster: Lucky you Rio: Maybe baby Buster: Did I not just prove it Buster: Or do you need me to call you back Rio: My evil plan Rio: Obviously Buster: [rings her back because he's like that] Rio: You're an idiot Rio: but okay Rio: 🍀 Buster: Tell me you love me Rio: I love you so much Buster: I still miss you Buster: It's so fucked Rio: I know Rio: idk what to do Buster: We just gotta keep doing what we're doing Buster: You're worth it to me Rio: Yeah Rio: it'll be alright Rio: not like we were ever satisfied in person either Rio: can't be helped you're too damn desirable Buster: Can't be helped that we come from the biggest fucking family ever either Buster: It really will be easier here I'm not just saying it to save myself the flight time Rio: Don't worry, I know Rio: happy of the break Rio: always got 2 free days a week, and I can film at yours, even if the quality ain't as good Rio: it'll be easy Buster: Whatever you need to make the quality better just let me know Buster: Not like we're short on space to set up, like Rio: Cheers Rio: I can rock the on the go thing, had to in hotels and shit loads, keeps it real Buster: Alright Buster: But if you need it, send me links to the tech and I'll get it Rio: You're cute Rio: and good Buster: You really matter to me, you know Rio: Shh Buster: You can't make me from there Rio: I don't know, wouldn't be so sure if I was you Rio: you can make me loud from there so Buster: That's different Buster: It's easy Rio: True Rio: such a loud mouth you Rio: god loves a trier, babe Buster: What have you got to make me speechless? That's the only question Rio: Million dollar question, some might say Rio: Have to wait and see Buster: Fuck waiting Buster: Put up or shut up, babe Rio: Your manners really do leave so much to be desired Rio: good thing you're pretty 😜 Buster: It ain't no finishing school I'm at even if some of the girls try and play like they've learned it all Rio: Seen the snaps, babe Rio: even I can see they're no ladies Buster: 😂 Buster: Not something exclusive to the 24, sorry babe Rio: You can keep 'em Rio: keep you posted on if you can post any of your lads, like Buster: No need, I know what you like Buster: And you've got previous to go off too Rio: Don't rush me Rio: that's how James happened and I don't need to repeat that experience Buster: Don't remind me Buster: He did and look what happened there Rio: 😒 Seriously Rio: you're threatening to punch me now okay go off Buster: Shut up no Buster: I'm just saying I don't wanna talk about him Rio: Me either Rio: we're good Buster: Are we good if you think I'm gonna give you a smack? Rio: I was joking, don't worry Buster: Not one of your best Rio: You've gotta relax, babe Buster: Yeah 'cause saying that is really relaxing, like Buster: Stop trying to wind me up Rio: Ugh, alright Buster: Are you really gonna have attitude about it now? Rio: You clearly are Rio: just trying to get on your level, babe Buster: Fuck off Buster: I haven't done anything Rio: Whatever Buster: Just 'cause you're that beautiful doesn't mean you can be that annoying Rio: 😂 Fuck off Buster: No you Buster: Don't whatever me when you've got something to say Rio: I already said it, I'm not gonna tell you to calm down more than once, ain't that fool Buster: Fine Rio: Chat later then Buster: Don't bother Buster: If there's nothing to say there's nothing to say Rio: Jesus Rio: Dramatic, much? Buster: So what? Buster: You'd rather I just nod along to everything, like Rio: Literally, when have I ever said that? Buster: You're saying it now if you're calling me dramatic Buster: I can react how I fucking want Rio: Do then Rio: I ain't gonna nod along either Buster: Then don't Rio: Do you even know what you're reacting to rn Rio: is my point, Buster Buster: Fuck you Buster: I'm reacting to you Rio: This is stupid Rio: We aren't having the same conversation rn Buster: So go Rio: No Rio: I'm not the one that's mad Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I'll go then Rio: Alright Rio: Bye then Buster: 👋 Rio: Mature Buster: I ain't trying to be Rio: Good fucking job, like Buster: Yeah Rio: You know that I'm not mad at you, yeah? Buster: Alright Rio: and you know I don't know why you're mad at me so Buster: I'm not mad you just stress me out Rio: Never said I wouldn't Buster: I know Rio: Alright Buster: Fine Rio: Stop talking Buster: Rude Rio: Well I thought you were going? Rio: maybe you forgot how Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: That I'm helpful, not rude Rio: if you don't wanna talk to me, gotta stop typing Rio: simple Buster: I never said I don't wanna talk to you Rio: Now you're being purposefully headfucky Buster: Fuck off Buster: I am not Buster: You're the one who wanted me to leave Rio: No I never Rio: I just said I wouldn't Buster: Which means you want me to Buster: 'Cause you said this convo was bullshit Buster: We've both got better things to do, yeah? Rio: I did not Rio: I couldn't work out why you were suddenly full aggro Rio: If you like Buster: What do you want? Rio: Just go back to normal Buster: What the fuck does that mean? Rio: Babe, please Rio: just forget this convo ever happened and I will too, yeah? Buster: What like I'm such a cunt that it's gotta be erased? Buster: Fuck that Rio: Not what I said or meant Rio: I just don't reckon we're getting anywhere on this any time soon, right? Buster: On what though? What's your problem with me? Rio: You're not making any sense rn, that is literally it Rio: and I know you're wrecked so it won't matter tomorrow, okay? Buster: 'Cause you're so sober suddenly Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Am I having a go? No Rio: stop taking shit personal when it ain't Buster: Stop telling me how to behave Buster: What the fuck Rio: I give up Rio: Seriously Buster: No you don't Rio: What do you want me to say? Buster: Not that Buster: You don't get to just give up on me, like Rio: I ain't Rio: Honestly, I'm not telling you but I'm asking, please, take a breather Rio: I can call if you want Buster: How? It's mental here Rio: Just walk 'til it ain't Buster: Okay Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too Buster: I called Nance she's gonna be so mad Buster: Fix that for me Rio: Oh Christ Rio: what did you even say? Buster: She didn't answer so nothing Buster: I'm not leaving a voicemail like I'm dad Rio: Well, that's something Rio: She'll be fine, can't pretend she's never disgraced herself now Buster: She might reckon I've died Buster: Can't really send a follow up text like I'm alive Rio: I think she might call back herself if she did Rio: or at least let your 'rents know Buster: She'll be asleep though Buster: Fuck knows what time it is Rio: Don't worry, I've got you Rio: everyone's received a drunk dial, even your sister Buster: Don't tell me that Buster: I don't wanna think about cunts drunk dialing my sister Rio: Not like that Rio: probably off me, like Buster: Some of the girls were at the party Buster: The ones she hates Rio: Bit of a cheek init Rio: least Nance weren't there Buster: She should be here though Buster: School starts soon Rio: I know Rio: bit of a commute for her, babe Buster: You're an idiot Rio: Yeah Rio: You too Buster: You're so far away Buster: Everyone is Rio: Oh, babe Rio: not that far, honest Buster: Promise you're still coming here Rio: Of course I am Rio: Try and stop me Buster: I already have, like Buster: Being a prick to you Buster: Not that I was trying to stop you but Rio: Gonna say, surely you can do better than that Rio: You're just high, not holding it against you Buster: I just wanna hold you against me that's why Buster: The summer wasn't long enough Rio: Soon, baby Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm going bed, come with me? Buster: I'll have to kick everyone out first Buster: Wait for me Rio: 'Course Buster: [passage of time while he kicks the posh twats out] Buster: Are you still up? Rio: Just about Rio: 😴 Buster: You don't have to be now, baby Buster: We can sleep Rio: Good, I don't like sleeping without you Buster: I know Buster: Me either Buster: I'm gonna call and stay on the phone with you though, don't worry Rio: 💕

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