#( int. brandon )

[bottlesandbarricades]

I always imagine Bran the Builder as your typical tradie. Five sugars in his tea and a pencil behind the ear, trundling down to Oldtown in his white van with Stark & Sons on the side to give King Uthor a quote on rebuilding Hightower.

[possumteefys]

People with the name 'Brandon', how do u reconcile that

[onlycosmere]

Brandon Sanderson doing a reading from Stormlight 5.

Transcript of the reading is below:

Chapter Shallan One

Shallan lingered atop Lasting Integrity, the great fortress of the honorspren, thinking about all the people she'd been. The way she changed based on perspective. Indeed, life was largely about perspective. Like this strange structure: a hollow, rectangular block hundreds of feet tall, dominating Shadesmar's landscape. People—spren—lived along the inside walls, walking up and down them, ignoring conventions of gravity. Looking down along one of the inside walls could be stomach-churning, unless you changed your perspective. Unless you convinced yourself that walking up and down that wall was normal. Whether a person was strong or not wasn't usually subject to debate; yet if gravity could be a matter of opinion...

She turned away from the heart of Lasting Integrity and walked along the very top of the wall, looking out to survey Shadesmar. Rolling ocean of beads in one direction; jagged obsidian highlands lined with crystalline trees in the other. On the wall with her, an even more daunting sight: two spren with heads made of geometric lines, each wearing a robe of some too-stiff, glossy black material.

Two spren.

She'd bonded two. One during her childhood, one as an adult. She'd hurt the first and suppressed the memory. Shallan knelt down before Testament, her original spren. The cryptic sat with her back to the stone railing. The lines and pattern that made up her head were crooked, like broken twigs. Int he center, the lines were scratched and rough, as if someone had taken a knife to them. More telling, her pattern was almost frozen.

Nearby, Pattern's head pulsed like a vibrant heart, always moving, always forming some new geometric display. Comparing the two broke Shallan's heart. She had done this to Testament by rejecting the bond after using her Shardblade to kill her mother.

Testament reached out with a long-fingered hand, and Shallan, pained, took it. It gripped hers lightly. But Shallan got the sense that it was all the strength Testament had. Testament responded to being a deadeye differently from Maya, who stood nearby with Adolin and Kelek. Maya had always seemed strong of body, even as a deadeye. Spren broke in different ways, it appeared. Just like people.

Testament squeezed Shallan's hand again, bearing no expression but that torpid motion of lines. "Why?" Shallan asked. "Why don't you hate me?"

Pattern rested his hand on Shallan's shoulder. "We both knew the danger, the sacrifice in bonding to humans again."

"I hurt her."

"Yet, here you are," Pattern said, "able to stand tall. Able to control the Surges. Able to protect the world."

"She should hate me," Shallan whispered. "But there's no vitriol in the way she holds my hand. No judgement in the way she remains with us."

"Because the sacrifice was worth something, Shallan," Pattern said, uncharacteristically reserved. "It worked. In the end, you recovered, did better. I am still here, and remarkably, I am not even a little bit dead. I do not think you will kill me at all, Shallan. I am very happy about that."

"Can I heal her?" Shallan asked. "Maybe if I bond her again?"

"I think, after talking to Kelek," Pattern said, "I think you are still bonded to her."

"But..." Shallan looked over her shoulder at him. "I broke the bond. That did this."

"Some breaks are messy," Pattern said. "A slice with a sharpened knife is clean. A slice with a dull one is ragged. Your break, done by a child without full intent, is like the one ragged. In some ways, that makes it worse. But it does mean there is still some Connection between you two."

"So..."

"So, no," Pattern said. "I do not think merely saying words again would heal her." His head pattern spun a little more slowly, as if he were contemplating something profound. "These numbers are unfamiliar, Shallan. Strange. Irrational. And a sequence I do not understand. I mean... I mean we are walking on unfamiliar ground. A better metaphor for you, yes. Unfamiliar ground."

In the deep past, deadeyes did not exist. It was what they had learned, in part, from the honorspren and from Maya. The deadeyes—all of them except Testament—had been bonded to ancient Radiants before the Recreance. Together, they had rejected their oaths, human and spren alike. They thought it would cause a painful but survivable split. Instead, something had gone terribly wrong. The result had been the deadeyes. The explanation might lie with Kelek, the very person Shallan had been sent to Lasting Integrity to kill.

She squeezed Testament's hand. "I'm going to help you," Shallan whispered. "Whatever it takes." Testament didn't respond, but Shallan leaned in, wrapping her arms around the cryptic. Pattern's robe always felt hard, yet Testament's bent like cloth. "Thank you," Shallan said, for coming to me when I was young. Thank you for protecting me. I still do not remember it all, but thank you."

The cryptic slowly but deliberately put her arms around Shallan and squeezed back.

"Rest, now," Shallan said, wiping her eyes and standing up. "I'm going to figure this out."

* * *

Shallan and Pattern left Testament to rest and crossed the wall at Lasting Integrity to meet with Adolin, Maya, and the Herald Kelek, who were speaking with a kind of spren that Kelek called a seon. She manifest as a hovering ball of light roughly the size of a head, with an odd symbol at the center. Other than them, the wall top was empty this day.

"You don't remember?" Pattern asked softly as he and Shallan walked. "The events with Testament? I thought you did. I thought, with Veil gone..."

"Veil is not gone," Shallan said. "She's part of me, like she always was."

"I don't understand."

"It's hard to explain," Shallan said, "and I'm not sure I've entirely figured it out. Healing is not an event, Pattern, but a process. I've incorporated Veil into myself so she doesn't take control any longer, but she's not gone. Veil is me, but Veil is not always Shallan."

"But... you are Shallan."

"Imagine it," she said, "as Veil moving to the back of the wagon as we ride to the future. She's still there, coaching me, and we're both aware of the world." There was more to it than that, of course. Shallan had projected some uncomfortable aspects of herself into Veil; now she had to face them. She'd worried that Adolin would find it difficult, but, well... Adolin Kholin was storming wonderful. After the discussion last night, he seemed to understand. Together, they knew that there was work to do, but Shallan had taken an enormous step toward healing. And along with it, acknowledged something important: she didn't deserve hatred, but understanding. It was hard to believe, but Veil insisted they try anyway.

"But..." Pattern said, "Radiant is still separate?"

"More separate," Shallan said.

"Mmm... so still in the front of the wagon."

"Yes. That might change. It might not need to change. I'm figuring this out as I go, Pattern. But I do feel better. More importantly, I no longer need Veil to stand between me and the memories."

"So you do remember!"

"Yes and no," Shallan said. "It's a jumble. I was young, and the events were traumatic, and there was so much pain associated with memories of my mother. I need time to process."

"Mmm... humans are squishy. Not just bodies; minds, too. Memories, too. Ideas, too. Mmm..." He seemed pleased by that.

As a child, she'd bonded a spren. Something her mother had not liked. A man had come, either to hurt Shallan or separate her from Testament. Her father had fought him, and during their struggle, Shallan's mother had come at her with a knife. In self-defense, Shallan had killed her mother with an early manifestation of Testament as a Shardblade. Shallan, in trauma, had rejected her nascent oath and buried those memories. But if her bond with Testament had never been fully broken, what did that mean? And which memories of those days between her mother's death and the arrival of Pattern... which of those involved Testament?

I knew I had a Shardblade, long before I had bonded Pattern. I thought about it in Kharbranth. She'd convinced herself that the weapon belonged to her father and had been kept in a safe. She'd gone there before leaving and drawn it out to dismiss it, pretending it was an ordinary Blade, pretending she had ten seconds to summon it. However, a part of her had known, even then, it was Testament, a friend to whom she'd done great harm. That was the one thing Shallan clearly remembered. Testament was her friend. A dimpled pattern on the wall that had delighted, then engaged, then protected a young girl.

Her spren had never been as talkative as Pattern. Indeed, Shallan could only remember rare, soft fragments of speech, encouraging her to stand against the darkness in her family. Shallan had loved her mysterious spren dearly. Though her memories were jumbled, the emotions shone through the pain. Strength could be a matter of perception, sometimes, and today Shallan found she could choose strength.

They approached Adolin, Maya, and Kelek. Shallan still found it incredible that this man was one of the Heralds of the Almighty. The short, balding fellow kept rubbing his hands together, as if washing them with an invisible soap and water. Adolin and Maya practically towered over him as they spoke to the ball of light.

Maya was obviously paying attention. She wasn't completely healed; her eyes were still scratched out, and her coloring wan brown instead of vibrant green like the others of her kind, but she was getting better. She no longer wandered off or just stared blankly during conversations. She was even starting to talk more, here and there.

"I worry about what is to come," the ball of light was saying. It had transformed into an approximation of Wit's face, made all of soft white-blue light, and spoke with his voice. The spren was a way to contact him, as they'd discovered a few days ago. "The war is about to intensify. It all rests upon the contest of champions. Odium's chosen warrior against whomever old Dalinar chooses."

"Father will choose himself," Adolin said. "When the Blackthorn needs to be certain something is done right, he will do it himself." Adolin paused, then glanced at Maya. "Storm him, he's probably our best chance, though."

"Wit," Shallan said. "It's really happening?"

"It is indeed. The contest is set, contracts agreed to. Shallan, they've set it for ten days from now."

"So soon?" Shallan asked. "Storms. Where?"

"Urithiru," Adolin said, arms folded. "They've already sent Windrunners to get us, apparently. Should arrive today." Shallan chewed on that, trying to to feel emotional whiplash. It had taken weeks to reach Lasting Integrity, but Windrunners could have them back to Urithiru within the day, depending on how much Stormlight they brought.

She found herself eager to return. She'd had enough of the honorspren and their elitism. She missed blue skies and plants that didn't crinkle when you touched them. Though Shadesmar had a sun, it was distant and cold. She could never thrive here. Plus, as she'd indicated to Testament, she had work to do.

"Wit," Shallan said, stepping closer, the glowing version of his face focused on her. "My brothers are safe? You're certain?"

"Very certain, Brilliant One," he said back, soft. "You're sure the Ghostbloods will move against you?"

"Yes," she said. After a year and a half of flirting with the Ghostbloods, she'd finally stepped up and said no. Doing so had essentially declared war on them. She found Adolin's hand for support. He knew the entire story, now. "Wit, I know their faces, their plans. I'm likely the greatest threat on the planet to their organization, and they've tried to kill Jasnah for less. Everyone I love is in danger."

"I have to manage Dalinar and try to prepare him," Wit said, "but I think I can help you, as well. I've been watching Mraize's little crew; I'll send your people my drawings of their members. But take care, Shallan. I know this group and their leader; they can be brutal."

"As can I," Shallan whispered. She glanced at Kelek, who was staring out over the bead ocean and the deadeyed spren who still stood on the shore. Despite him, she felt safe here, with Pattern, Adolin, and Maya. Safe enough to voice it. "Wit, I'm worried, though. Am I ready?"

"I ask myself that same question, now and then," he said. "And, Shallan, I'm ten thousand years old."

"During the trip," she said, "I started to create a new persona, Wit. Formless. A version of me, but..." How did she explain it? "A version of me with no face. A version of me who could do terrible things. I walked away from it, Wit, but that capacity is still inside of me."

"Shallan," he said, and she looked up, meeting his eyes. "If it weren't for that capacity, then what good would choices be? If we never had the power to do terrible things, then what heroism would it be to resist?"

"But..."

"Did you turn it away?" he asked. And Adolin squeezed her hand.

"Yes."

"Then heroism it is, Shallan."

"I'm remembering what I did to my mother," she said. "And my father. And, to a lesser extent, Tyn and now Mraize. I'm going to have to kill him, Wit. Is that my destiny? To kill every person who has ever mentored me?" In that, finally, her fears found voice. Did it sound silly, foolish, ridiculous? This pattern she'd seen in her life?

Wit did not laugh, though, and he considered himself an expert on what was ridiculous. "Would that any of us," he said, "could protect ourselves from the costs of heroism. But, again, if there were no costs, no sacrifice, then would it be heroism at all? I cannot promise you that it will be easy, Shallan, but I'm proud of you."

"I'm proud of you," Radiant whispered.

"I'm proud of you," Veil—the part of her that was Veil—agreed.

"Thank you," she said.

"I have to go," Wit said, "but I'll leave you with this. The Ghostbloods want something extremely valuable, and you have the key to it standing with you right now. If you want to destroy them, you might not need to kill every last one of them. Instead, you might just need a powerful leverage over them."

The glowing sphere melted from his face, back to a sphere. "He's gone," the spren said. "I'm sorry."

Wit's final words lingered with Shallan, reinforcing something she'd been considering: a way to protect Roshar from the Ghostbloods. And indeed, she knew what their next target was likely to be. They'd sent her to Lasting Integrity to get intel on one of the Unmade, and the Herald standing with her had the secrets they all wanted to know.

"I need," she said to Kelek, "to know everything you know about Ba-Ado-Mishram.

The Herald wrung his hands and looked to the side, as if seeking to escape.

"We're not going to hurt you," Adolin said calmly. "You know that by now."

"I do," Kelek said. "It's just... I wasn't supposed to be involved. None of us are."

"I don't think the other Heralds follow that," Shallan noted, folding her arms. "What did you do, Kelek?"

"Not much," he said, putting his hand to his head. "I... I can't do much, these days. I don't know why. I can't decide. I..." He looked up at them and then formed fists, pulling them close up to his chest. "I was at Urithiru when the plan to capture Mishram was conceived. Then I joined them on their mission. I guess I'm the only one alive who actually knows what happened to her. It's why the Ghostbloods and their cursed Lord of Scars want me."

"Just tell us," Shallan said.

"Some of us learned you could capture spren inside gemstones," he explained. "Mishram, for all her power, was a spren. The Radiants prepared a flawless heliodor, the color of sunlight, and they trapped her inside, and then they hid her prison. Not in the Physical Realm, and not in Shadesmar." He bit his lip between his teeth, then forced out another part. "In the Spiritual Realm. Melishi hid it there."

"How?" Shallan asked, sharing a look with Adolin."

"I don't know," Kelek said, backing away. "I don't know. But now... now they'll send more people for me, won't they? They'll trap me in a gemstone; or they think they'll be able to." He looked to the two of them, wide-eyed, and fled toward the way down. None of them gave chase. This was, unforunately, usual behavior for Kelek.

Maya grunted softly, watching him go. "He's gotten a lot worse," she said.

Shallan started. "You knew him?"

"Met him a few times," Maya said, then took a deep breath. "Never... never thought much of him, even then."

"Well," Shallan said, "we know something more about Mishram, at least. Her prison is part of what Mraize has been hunting for a long time now, I suspect. I might need to find it first, before he can do so."

"Ba-Ado-Mishram," Adolin said, thoughtful, leaning back against the wall's battlements. "The most powerful of the Unmade. What would the Ghostbloods want with her, though?"

"Mmm," Pattern said. "Power. So much power. She was nearly a god. She bonded the singers, once. Could Mraize be wanting to do something similar?"

Shallan shivered, considering and thinking of Mraize and his master Iyatil, somehow commanding the entirety of the enemy army. Was that possible? "Whatever the reason," Shallan said, "I have to stop him."

"Her prison is in the Spiritual Realm, though?" Adolin said, frowning. "What does that even mean?"

"Mmm," Pattern said, "means we will never be able to find it."

"Surely it's possible," Shallan said. "The ancient Radiants put it there; we should be able to take it out."

"You don't understand," Pattern said, holding hands apart and gesturing in his way. "You think Shadesmar is odd, yes? Black sky, little sun, Pattern with arms and legs for perambulating." His head spun a little faster. "The Spiritual Realm is stranger by orders of magnitude. It is a place where the future blends with the present. The past echoes, like the striking of a clock. Time and distance stretch, like numbers, infinitely repeating. It is where gods live, and even baffles some of them."

Shallan took that in, then glanced at Testament, huddled in the shadow of the wall further back along the walk. "Our best guess," she said, "is that the deadeyes were created because Mishram was imprisoned, right?"

"Agreed," Pattern said. "Mishram became like a god to the singers, the parshmen. She connected to Roshar, and echoes of that filtered to the spren. Ah, so wonderfully odd. Her imprisonment is the reason broken bonds now have such an effect on the spren."

"It's because," Maya said, "humans have no Honor. The god, I mean... I heard that... that Mishram had been captured. I heard that... the Radiants would destroy the world. That is why I decided.... decided it was done." She shook her head. "I don't know it all. I'd... like to. Considering the breaking... what the breaking... breaking the bond did to me..."

That day, the day Mishram had been captured, something deeper had happened, an event connecting humankind, Honor, spren, and the bonds. "We need to figure out how Mishram or her prison has power over bonds," Shallan said, looking to Pattern. "We need to go into the Spiritual Realm and find that prison, however difficult it is."

His pattern slowed, then finally he laced his fingers together. "Very well. Though, you know what I said when I said I was sure you wouldn't get me killed?"

"Yes."

"I should like," he declared, "to make a retraction.

 

Chapter Shallan Two

It was nice for Shallan to take a few hours to think, for once. Sitting, wearing a bright blue havah, rather than her traveling clothing, settled at the top row of the stone, open-air forum within Lasting Integrity, drawing. How long had it been since she'd simply let herself draw? She'd sketched a little during her trip, but that felt like an eternity ago.

She relaxed, flowing with the drawing, a depiction of the vertigo she felt looking up along the inside walls of Lasting Integrity. A surreal painting, like something from one of the older art movements, where perspective was intentionally alien and off-putting. She liked to think that the old surrealists had made contact with spren in Shadesmar, warping their minds to new ways of seeing things. Though she'd never been quite as good with landscapes as she was with people, she was proud of the sense her sketch gave of falling. Yet into what? You could not see, because the unnatural perspective held your eyes upward.

Like others she'd done today, a strange face kept sneaking into the art. In this case, she'd absently warped the shadings of one wall into that face. Feminine, a singer with angular carapace and shadows and curves forming a strata-like design on her face. Shallan flipped through her sketchbook. Each drawing done today had that singer face hidden somewhere, and she didn't remember making them. She'd done something similar at Urithiru, where the presence of an Unmade had warped her sketches. She tried not to let it disturb her quite so much, this time. Then, it had been a message. Was there a similar one, now?

She looked toward Adolin, who paced at the center of the forum, a place where just a few days before he'd been on trial. Today, he'd been joined by Godeke, a lanky Edgedancer. Shallan's agents had joined them, as well—Ishnah, Vathah, and Beryl—along with their cryptics. Together, they waited for the Windrunners, and for the fruits of some final efforts in Lasting Integrity. She started another sketch as they waited.

In the end, twelve arrived. Twelve honorspren, from a population of hundreds. That was how many showed up in response to Adolin's call to arms. He and Godeke greeted each one with a smile, but she knew he'd expected more.

One other did arrive. Notum, the former sea captain, still had his unique facial hair, though he walked on unsteady feet. They still didn't know why he'd been assaulted by those Tukari that Adolin had saved him from. Notum didn't join Godeke and Adolin, but instead walked down the steps to join Shallan. "Radiant Kholin?" he said.

That was still odd to hear, even a year after the wedding. It hadn't been assumed that she would take Adolin's name. Among the Alethi lighteyes, either party was equally likely to keep their name as adopt a new one. In her case, she was needed in the Kholin line of succession. She doubted she'd take a throne that Adolin had turned down, but Dalinar wanted people he trusted in line. Her adoption in the Kholin house would strengthen their claim, should it come to that. In explaining this to her, Dalinar and Navani had been speaking pragmatically. But Shallan knew she'd remember that day differently. For her, it was the day when a set of parents had, for the first time, wanted her.

Notum settled down beside her. "Your mission was a success. Twelve new Radiants."

"We expected more, though," Radiant said, emerging. "After the support Adolin got at the trial, I anticipated an excellent recruitment effort."

"A good number of the honorspren support him," Notum said, "but that doesn't mean they want to be bonded. One can be irate at the honorspren leadership and think humans are deserving of support without wanting to take that step."

Down below the twelve honorspren started to fade. "I've never seen this before," Notum added. "I thought they'd go in a blink. Instead, they fade away to nothing."

"Not nothing," Radiant said. "They'll appear on the other side."

"I hear it's traumatic," Notum said. He had a stiff, formal way of speaking, even when the words were casual, clipping each word as if he were making an announcement from the quarterdeck of a ship. "Spren on the other side forget themselves."

"Only briefly," Radiant said. "These will probably stay in a group, which helps, and immediately make their way to Urithiru, drawn by the squires training there."

"Do you even need them now, though?" Notum asked. "Isn't the war soon to end?"

"Windrunners are our primary method of traveling long distances, and I suspect they'll be helpful in peacetime. Beyond that, even if Dalinar wins the contest, I worry about what is to come next. I think, the more Radiants we have, the more stable our position will be."

"Then I should hurry," Notum said, standing. "To join them. So that I'm not left alone."

Radiant approved, but Shallan... she noticed something. "You sound reluctant," Shallan said.

He looked at her, glowing the same soft blue of all the honorspren. His uniform, his hair, everything about him was made of the same soft light. Solid, not transparent, but also not quite real in the way she understood reality. "There's nothing more for me here," Notum said. "I've been rejected of mine and seen their pettiness. I should like to be of service. Though, I admit, I do not wish to bond a human. I loathe the idea. Is that petty of me, in turn?"

"Absolutely not," Shallan said. "I have two bonds, Notum, and understand the cost better than most. It's not pettiness or even cowardness to be hesitant. Just like it's not cowardly or petty to reject any relationship."

"Pardon," Notum said, "but other sorts of relationships don't lead to soldiers with remarkable powers."

That did, admittedly, complicate the matter. But after learning what she'd done to Testament, who sat with Pattern a few rows down, Shallan couldn't help but question their mission itself. They needed Windrunners, yes; but it made her increasingly uncomfortable to demand that a spren bond. It wasn't intimate in the traditional human sense of the word, but it felt as deeply personal. "We can use every Windrunner, yes," she said, "but I don't think you should force yourself to bond a human if that makes you uncomfortable. You can be a good person and say no, Notum. I've learned that."

"Perhaps," Notum said. "Perhaps I will stay a little longer here, then. With effort, I might persuade others of my kind to offer you support." He pointed and drew her attention to a group of honorspren walking past wearing traveling clothing and carrying gear, as if to leave on a long hike. They waved to Shallan and Adolin but did not join those fading away.

"Objectors?" Shallan asked as Adolin waved back to them. "Those you mentioned earlier?"

"Yes. They don't agree with how you were treated but also don't want to go to war. They leave Lasting Integrity to make their own way."

She nodded. "Well, Radiant Godeke is staying to continue to normalize relations with the honorspren, and I might leave one of my agents, as well. If you stay, that would help. They could use a solid ally here."

"I am your ally," he said, "but as I warned you, the honorspren leadership does not care for me, even if they have been forced to revoke my exile." His expression grew distant. "We have an entire navy that once sailed the bead ocean. It is a shame to see those boats abandoned in the shipyards. It gives the enemy full control of Shadesmar's seas. Perhaps I could sail under honorspren authority again."

Storms. If Shallan hadn't said anything, Notum might have actually gone to become a Radiant spren. Meaning she'd just actively gone against their orders in coming here. Perhaps she wouldn't mention that part in her report to Dalinar.

No other spren came. Lucintia, the spren who had been Shallan's guide since her arrival at Lasting Integrity, made no appearance. Shallan had hoped she would change her mind, despite their occasional clashes.

"Notum" Shallan said, "thank you. For how you stood up for us during the trial."

"I am one person stretched thin, Radiant Kholin," he said, standing with his hands clasped behind his back. "Like colors on the mast, which have waved too long in the wind. I don't know what I believe or trust any longer. But what was done to you was not right. I could not play the sham role they demanded of me. I ask your forgiveness for even considering it."

"It was natural to want your old life back, Notum."

He turned to her, blue eyes meeting hers. "I lay on the ground, battered and assaulted, and watched your husband rise in my defense against overwhelming odds. He saved me with no expectation of reward. In that moment, I knew that Honor lived." He nodded curtly to Shallan, then walked down the steps to talk with Adolin.

Shallan slowly turned back to her sketch, where she soon found that she'd drawn yet another face in Adolin's shadow. Storms. Don't be unnerved, she thought. You were upset when you drew Pattern for the first time back in Kharbranth. But look how that turned out. She would not be afraid of her own art. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to flip to the next sheet and start drawing again, until someone else settled down beside her. Kelek leaned forward, hands clasped, seeming small and fragile.

"I'm not going with you," he said softly. "I... I can't."

"It's not safe for you here," Shallan said, sketching, fingers moving as if of their own accord. "If I got to you, Mraize's other assassins can do so."

"I... I will hide. Better. But I can't leave the seon, and she can't travel right now. It wouldn't be good for her."

Shallan didn't argue. It never seemed to work with Kelek. Instead, she lost herself in a sketch of him. A Herald to add to her collection. She might have said this was the rarest of gems to obtain, but was a Herald actually rarer than anyone else? One might say, because of their immortality, they were less so.

"We are broken, Shallan," Kelek finally said. "We are not the heroes you wish us to be. Not any more."

"I know how that feels."

"I don't think you do," he said, wrapping his arms around himself. "I don't believe anyone does." He looked to Adolin, chatting with Notum and Godeke. "You're really going to try to find Mishram?"

"If I don't," Shallan said, "my enemies will."

"Then what?" he said. "Will you release her? I... I cannot decide. Always cannot decide. I have preached for her freedom in the past, but now I worry. She might join and strengthen Odium. She hates humans." He put his hand to his head. "Ishar says all the Unmade should be contained. Yet what we did to the singers by imprisoning her..."

"I'll worry about that when we find her gemstone," Shallan said. "Honestly, I'll probably bring it back to the Bondsmiths and let everyone decide together."

He didn't decide to respond, so she continued drawing. The familiar sound of charcoal pencil on paper, the distilled attention of creation, like the most potent of alcohol. She attracted a few creationspren, like little swirling lights. These ones, though, behaved oddly. In here, she'd never seen them change shape like they did in the Physical Realm, but these started adopting the look of her pencil and eraser.

She kept drawing, lines imitating life, freeing it, but altering at the same time. You could never make an exact copy; that wasn't the point. Every sketch was a picture of the artist, as well. Their perspective, their emphasis, their instinct, reclaiming a moment otherwise lost. Once you got to the end, it was sublime. The moment when you basked in the thing you'd created. The feeling of awe mixed with disbelief that this beautiful object had come from you, accompanied by the slightest worry that, because if you didn't understand how you did it, you maybe didn't deserve to have been part of the creation. She loved the feeling, even the uncertainty of it.

"Radiant," Kelek said, hands clasped as he stared down at the stone floor of the amphitheater, "what do you fear?"

What kind of question was that? "I don't know," she lied.

"I fear options," he said. "I see every choice I make, and I see the terrible results that could stem from them. If I stay here, I see you fail without me. If I go, I see my presence—broken as I am—cause your failure. I cannot continue. I do not..."

She rested her hand on his, then handed him the sketch. He took the picture, frowning, then his hands widened as he saw it depicting him standing tall, wearing robes and striding from a fanciful city with colorful walls and strange trees with long fronds she'd made up. He carried a staff with an odd shape at the top and strode toward the growing light on the horizon. Though, in the picture, he looked backward, and his face was determined. Decisive.

"Do you often do this?" he asked.

"Sketch people?" she said, then blushed. "Yes, I kind of do it all the time. When I'm feeling like myself, at least."

"Not simply sketching, child. Do you often draw upon Fortune? Glimpse someone's possible selves, then pull one forth? Touch, in some way, what could have been? What might still be?" He glanced at her and must have seen the utter confusion in her eyes as he sighed. "Is this a skill commonly employed by Lightweavers during your time?"

"Not that I know of," she said. "But I don't exactly understand what you're saying."

He glanced toward Pattern and Testament. "Two spren... Of course, you've bonded two. Strange things happen when a Nahel bond is imbricated. There were rules against it once, I believe. How long have you had them both?

"For some time" she said. "Though I didn't know it. I didn't remember it until just recently."

"And how often," he asked, holding up the sheet, "do you glimpse into the Spiritual Realm, then manifest it in your art?"

"I..." She thought back to pictures she'd done, like one found in the pocket of a dead man. Like sketches of the Unmade lurking in Urithiru, or faces turning up in her art without her intending to draw them. She began to feel like a fool for objecting so quickly to someone who obviously knew far more about these things than she did. "It might happen now and then," she said. "There was an Unmade at Urithiru, and it showed up in my art. Now, these faces." She turned one toward him.

He nodded. "Because you've been thinking about traveling to the Spiritual Realm and finding Ba-Ado-Mishram."

"That's her?"

"One interpretation of her, yes," he said. "If you were someone else, I would assume you had seen some ancient art and were unconsciously influenced by it. For you..." He shrugged. "Fortune can do unthought, <phantotic> things."

"I'm sorry? '<Phantotic>'?"

"It means 'unnerving,'" he said. "I'm sorry. I don't keep up on shifts in language, nor am an expert on Fortune. Best speak to Midius, your Wit, about that. A <phantotic> man himself, that one."

[invisiblhoax]

Ella intro (yippie?!)

Hii, I’m Ella!! I’m trying to be more active on this app, so here are some things about me! 🫀

•I’m 15, bisexual, in love with alternative music, and overall I like to think of myself as a very cool person :)

Music (bold = all time favs)

The Killers, Blink-182, Noah Kahan, Elliot Smith, Jeff Buckley, Hozier, Brandon Flowers, Fall Out Boy, Pre-split Panic! at the Disco, Ethel Cain, Taylor Swift, Jimmy Eat World, Paramore, Radiohead, Boygenius, Phoebe Bridgers, Third Eye Blind, Waterparks, Weezer, My Chemical Romance

If you wanna see the rest, my airbuds is somebodytoldella :3!

Movies & Television

La La Land, The Crow, Dead Poets Society, Scott Pilgrim, The Dark Knight Trilogy, 10 Things I Hate About You, 20th Century Girl, The Matrix, The Conjuring

Other Things About Me I Think You Should Know!

Collecting CDs and vinyls, sketching, listening to music, shitposting, playing piano, shopping, reading, and I usually tend to occupy myself with schoolwork (NERD ALERT!)

DNI: Basic criteria, ZERO DAY FANS/STANS (why is that even a thing???)

INT: Literally ANYBODY else who has the same interests, or wants to be moots overall I follow everyone back!!! 🫀

i’m ok w people over 18 interacting considering my brother is literally 30 LOL but pls don’t be weird :P

I hope this post gives you more insight! My dms are always open, and feel free to ask ANY questions about me, I really want to make more mutuals on here! :D

[the-football-chick]

Week 15 kicked off with Thursday Night Football Chargers @ Raiders

Nothing short of an embarrassment for the Chargers under backup QB Easton Stick as they get mollywhopped 63-21 by the Raiders on TNF.

Stick, who is replacing the injured Justin Herbert, didn't really have a bad game going 23/32 for 257 yards, 3 TDs and 1 INT but it couldn't match the Raiders electrified offense tonight with rookie QB Aidan O'Connell going 20/34 for 248 yards and 4 TDs, and their defense also adding 2 TDs, and a trick play by WR Jakobi Meyers throwing to star WR Davante Adams for another TD. 👀

Chargers coach Brandon Staley's seat getting pretty hot with the team losing their last 5 out of 6 and sitting in last place in the AFC West at 5-9.

IG: raiders (12/14/23)

[sentientcave]

Oh hey it's Wednesday again! You know what that means!

IT'S WIP WEDNESDAY BAYBEE

I've been bouncing around from project to project a lot lately so have a little Fic Flight of a few thangs

You Only Live Twice

Sadie was already creeping down the shadowed path strip of grass between the building and the outer wall, shoes in hand. She felt the Russian’s presence at her back, the intake of breath indicating that he intended to scold her for getting ahead of him. “I imagine they’ll have men at the gate already,” she said, cutting him off. “I’ll pretend I think they’re the real security and blather on about what’s going on upstairs, and you pick them off once I have them in the open. I assume you’re a good shot?” “I don’t like that. You could be killed.” Why the man cared all that much if she were killed, she didn’t know. Something to figure out later, once they were out of there. At the moment he was useful, and that was all that mattered. “I doubt it. They would have just blown the place to bits if they wanted everyone dead. They’re looking for high-profile hostages.” He tugged her further into the shadows, his big hand not leaving her waist even once he had her pressed against the wall. “You’re right, but—” “If you’re not a good shot, now would be the time to tell me,” she hissed back. “We don’t have time to stand around and think about it. I can probably only take on one myself, if I have to fight hand to hand.” She looked past him, down to where the lights from the gate station glared out into the darkness. “Are you ready?” He sighed, resigned. “Da. Make it a good performance, umnyashka. I will follow.”

Rugby

Your morning passes in a steady trickle of numbers and signed reports. You get up and stretch halfway through the morning, water your plants, get back to work. The second half of the morning flies by, and Brandon is back in your doorway again before you know it. It was a vain hope to think you would be able to slip out and get lunch without tagging along with him. Or it would have been, if the elevator didn’t open to reveal Simon ‘Perfect Timing’ Riley, holding a brown paper bag of takeout. “Forgot t’pack you a lunch, pretty boy,” he rumbles, stepping out and pulling you to the side. “Figured you could show me your office.” Brandon opens and closes his mouth like a fish, taking in the full expanse of Simon. Simon gives him a sly look out of the corner of his eye, and tugs you a step closer by the tie. “No kiss, love?” he asks playfully. You short circuit, face heating up so much that you’re sure Simon can feel it when he cups your jaw and tips your face up, and fucking kisses you. He’s not shy about it either, his tongue lapping at the seam of your lips, head tilted so your noses don’t squish together. “This is your boyfriend?” Brandon asks, interrupting the absolutely bizarre moment. “Hm?” Simon pulls away and looks at Brandon properly, like he’s just noticed him there. “Who’s your friend, Rip?” “Um. This is Brandon. Brandon, this is Simon. Yeah. My um. Boyfriend.” You look back at Simon. “You didn’t have to bring me lunch.” “Maybe I wanted to. You gonna say no to a curry?” “No. Come on, lets go sit in my office.” You shrug at Brandon. “Rain cheque, eh?” “See you around, Bradley,” Simon adds, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

Field Trip

He looks serious for a moment, before the grin flickers back on. “Aw, weel, it wasnae as much fun as I might make it look. I had things ta keep livin’ fer.” “Like volunteering to help out with a school trip?” you ask mildly. “Of course. Few things matter more’n education, ye ken. Want tae make sure Finn doesnae wander off like Ah would’ve at his age.” His knee bumps into yours as he gets comfortable in the seat, and he makes no move to remove it. “Ah didnae have such a bonnie teacher, mind. Might’ve paid a bit more attention in class.” You tilt your knees toward the aisle, humming noncommittally. As far as you’re aware, Mr. Mactavish was SAS— An officer, and no slouch in regards to intelligence. Acting like an over eager puppy probably gets him further than behaving like a serious soldier, but you don’t really buy it. “I’m sure you did just fine in school, Mr. Mactavish.” “Ye can call me Johnny, ye ken. We’re no’ strangers by now, are we Sweetpea?” “Mr. Mactavish—” “Ah, come on bonnie, Ah’m no’ on a last name basis with anyone else here. Even the kids call me Soap.” “Are you ever going to tell us what that means?” Mrs. Kingsley asks, leaning across the aisle with a smile. “Ah cannae, Barb, ye cheeky thing, an’ ye know it. Classified.” Johnny taps the side of his nose and winks. He takes the opportunity to lean across you, one hand on your thigh and one arm braced against the barrier between your seat and the door. “How’s yer grandkids gettin’ on? No’ in school themselves yet, are they?”

Sparrow

She chanted his name, pressing her lips to his ear. He growled in response, barely missing a stroke as he transferred his weight to one arm, the other grabbing her by the throat, putting just a little pressure there. “Shut it, birdie, you’re gonna make me come.” “Yes, yes please,” she whispered, cunt clamping down on him like a vice. “Want you to. Please, Simon—” “Fuckin’ christ, Morgan,” he grunted. “Never fuckin’ shut up, do you?” She grinned, tipping her chin up to give him better access to her throat. “No. You’ll have to make me.” He groaned, dropping his forehead to her shoulder, giving her a few more grinding thrusts as deeply inside her as he could get, and came hard. Morgan could feel every pulse and twitch as he stuffed her full, the sensation almost enough to send her over the edge too. She whined, wrapping he legs around him tightly so he couldn’t pull out. “S’your own fault, birdie,” Simon grumbled, letting his full weight come down on top of her to keep her from moving her hips any more. “Gimme a minute. I’ll take care of you.” She sighed, stroking a hand through his hair and pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “I know you will. We’ll take care of each other.”

[cowboys-column]

the Dallas Cowboys faced a 44-19 defeat against Derek Carr and the New Orleans Saints in Dallas. With Brandon Aubrey’s standout performance the Cowboys had opportunities to turn things around, but mistakes and penalties led to the Saints scoring on their first six drives. Dallas faces an even tougher challenge next week against the Baltimore Ravens. The need for the team to learn from this loss and get ready for the game ahead.

D. Prescott 27/39 CMP/ATT 293 YDS 2 INT

[twwpress]

Weekly Press Briefing #64: September 10th - September 16th

Welcome back to the Weekly Press Briefing, where we bring you highlights from The West Wing fandom each week, including new fics, ongoing challenges, and more! This briefing covers all things posted from September 10 - September 16, 2023! Did we miss something? Let us know; you can find our contact info at the bottom of this briefing! 

Challenges/Prompts:

The following is a roundup of open challenges/prompts. Do you have a challenge or event you’d like us to promote? Be sure to get in touch with us! Contact info is at the bottom of this briefing.

@callixton is hosting The West Wing Pride Week (@twwpride here on tumblr) September 17 - 23. More details here! 

Photos/Videos:

Here’s what was posted from September 10 - September 16:

Amy Landecker posted photos of herself and Bradley Whitford with their friend Arian Moayed at the Creative Coalition luncheon, where Brad presented Arian with a humanitarian award. 

Bradley Whitford posted photos of himself with the directors and cast of The Gospel At Colonus, put on at the Getty Villa by the company of Chicago’s Court Theater. 

Dule Hill posted reflections on the news that his show The Wonder Years has been cancelled. 

Marlee Matlin posted a photo of herself and her friend Alexis Kashar sporting LOVE SIGN ASL shirts for their rival football teams. 

Marlee Matlin posted photos of herself with her son Brandon, along with a sweet birthday wish, for his 23rd birthday. 

Marlee Matlin posted in honor of National Sober Day, saying she is grateful for her 36 years of sobriety. 

Mary McCormack posted photos of her family saying goodbye to her daughter Rose as she goes off to college for the year. 

Mary McCormack posted a photo of her youngest daughter with a wish for her 12th birthday.

Melissa Fitzgerald reposted a photo from her friend Jon Lovitz taken when he was helping her run lines for her upcoming performance of Love Letters at the Kennedy Center with Martin Sheen.  

Peter James Smith posted a cute childhood photo of himself with some of his siblings. 

Rob Lowe posted a photo of his dog Daisy. 

Bird York posted a photo of herself with Dave Hodge. 

Donna Moss Daily: September 10 | September 11 | September 12 | September 13 | September 14 | September 15 | September 16 

Daily Josh Lyman: September 10 | September 11 | September 12 | September 13 | September 14 | September 15 | September 16 

No Context BWhit:  September 10 | September 11 | September 12 | September 13 | September 14 | September 15 |  September 15 (2) | September 16 

@twwarchive:  September 10 | September 11 | September 12 | September 13 | September 14 | September 15 | September 16 

@bestofcjtoby:  September 10 | September 11 | September 12 | September 13 | September 14 | September 15 | September 16 

Editors’ Choice: 

This week, we’re sharing some of our favorite stories that take us on an emotional roller coaster. Enjoy our recs for fics tagged “angst with a happy ending”! Be sure to share your favorites, too.

no one won the war by mmousik | Rated T | Leo McGarry & Toby Ziegler (No Pairings Listed) | Complete | “What happened?” “The war happened, Toby,” Leo said it like it were obvious, but Toby heard the blank, conceded tone as clear as day. “And serving my country was something every man did. It wasn't noble nor heroic to read from pages when there were people getting shot and crawling through dead bodies. I wanted to protect my county, not read about it. There was a time for reading and studying and writing, and it had long passed by the time I had enlisted myself.” Toby and Leo have an emotionally charged conversation about war.

i’ve got a blank space baby (and i’ll write your name) by sam_writes_fics for JessBakesCakes | Rated M | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | No one knows how or why the marks started appearing – some say it’s a physiological phenomenon brought on by evolution, others say it’s divine intervention – but the world changed seemingly overnight into a place where the stars align for those brave enough to ask for it. // soulmate au

let my love fix you up (when you're coming undone) by JessBakesCakes for hufflepuffhermione | Rated T |  Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | The Gaza Arc reimagined: what if Sam flew to Germany to make sure his friends didn't miss their third chance?

hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have- but I have it by IreneSpring | Rated T | C. J. Cregg/Kate Harper, Danny Concannon/C.J. Cregg | Complete | C.J. ends her relationship with Danny and begins a new life in California.

but i could only look down by smallandblueandloud | Rated G | C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler, C. J. Cregg/Andrea Wyatt/Toby Ziegler | Complete | “CJ,” he says, bracing himself for the big guns. “CJ, tell me you don’t love us and I’ll drop it. Tell me you left because you didn’t love us anymore, and I will walk out of this room and we can never speak of this again.” “Toby-” (or, it's been years since cj walked out on toby and andy, and he's ready to ask her to come back. things don't go to plan.)

Everything Else by piperset | Rated G | Danny Concannon/C.J. Cregg | Complete | The aftermath of "Institutional Memory."

It looks like we're stuck with tumblr's new post word limits for the foreseeable future, but stay tuned for our reblog with this week's fics and chapter updates!

[betweendevilanddeepbluesea]

Pues, es muy deprimente la situación actual de The Killers. Fue una mala decisión hacer conciertos mundiales cuando todavía seguimos en la pandemia. Además, desde que Mark Stoermer se marchó, yo sabía que iba a ser el final de The Killers.

En lo personal me gusta mucho Brandon Flowers y Mark Stoermer, los voy a seguir apoyando en sus carreras de solistas, aunque no me gusta mucho la música tranquila que Brandon Flowers planea hacer, tipo Johnny Cash con su “Hurt”; prefiero la música alquimista de sótano de Mark Stoermer xD, pero Mark todavía no vuelve de esa dimensión donde se fue. El problema con Brandon Flowers es que solo se va a dedicar a dar conciertos en las Vegas, y no va a hacer gira mundial; yo no tengo dinero en este momento para ir a su concierto en las Vegas. :(

Por otra parte, está el chisme del Superbowl. Si The Killers se presenta será maravilloso, pero no tanto, no creo que Mark Stoermer, esté con ellos. Además, no es justo que después de tanto tiempo que paso, por fin, los tomen en cuenta. Sólo porque el superbowl se va a hacer en las Vegas. Si lo hubieran hecho antes hubiera sido mucho mejor. Pero, no, en aquel entonces prefirieron escoger a Lady Gaga y a Katy Perry. No estoy diciendo que no quiero que The Killers amenicen el superbowl, pero sin Mark Stoermer es como una patada al hígado para mí.

Dave Keuning fue quien creó a The Killers, él estuvo chingue y chingue, no es broma... él estuvo insistiendo en que Mark Stoermer fuera parte de The Killers porque se dio cuenta de lo especial que es. Luego Dave Keuning se fue por razones no tan desconocidas. Luego Mark Stoermer, no se quería ir, pero sus problemas de salud no le permitían seguir; también Brandon Flowers no tomaba en cuenta las sugerencias de Mark. Y Ronnie Vannucci Jr. siempre ha sido fiel a Brandon Flowers, o más bien le vale un comino lo que Brandon haga.

Por mi parte, no pienso borrar nunca este Tumblr y el otro que tengo, por eso es mi museo; voy a seguir compartiendo cosas de The Killers y Coldplay, incluso si The Killers desaparece como grupo (después ocurre un milagro y regresan como Blur) y Coldplay no hace más discos; y Coldplay solo se dedica a dar conciertos en las azoteas de los puestos y casas de Inglaterra.

Y claro que comprendo a Brandon Flowers y también a Chris Martin, de hecho no sé si a mis cincuenta años seguiré haciendo mamadas por aquí, no, jajaja... No sé si seguiré haciendo esto del tumblr. :(

Por último, no estoy en contra de la religión de Brandon Flowers, pero si dirige su vida en eso... esto me hace dudar de su int*** Visitar la página ex-Mormon Reddit, ¿por qué la gente deja de ser mormona? Me huele como a se***. De antemano ofresco una disculpa si te sientes ofendido con esto. Los deístas somos mejores. ^_*

😭😭😭😭😭

Well, the current situation of The Killers is very depressing. It was a bad decision to do world concerts when we are still in the pandemic. Also, ever since Mark Stoermer left, I knew it was going to be the end of The Killers.

Personally, I really like Brandon Flowers and Mark Stoermer, I'm going to continue supporting them in their solo careers, although I don't really like the calm music that Brandon Flowers plans to make, like Johnny Cash with his “Hurt”; I prefer Mark Stoermer's cellar alchemist music xD, but Mark still hasn't come back from that dimension where he left. The problem with Brandon Flowers is that he is only going to give concerts in Las Vegas, and he is not going to tour the world; I don't have money right now to go to his concert in Las Vegas. :(

Then again, there's the Superbowl gossip. If The Killers show up it will be wonderful, but not so wonderful, I don't think Mark Stoermer will be with them. Also, it's not fair that after so much time, they finally take them into account. Just because the superbowl is going to be in las vegas. If they had done it earlier it would have been much better. But, no, back then they preferred to choose Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. I'm not saying I don't want The Killers to rock the Superbowl, but without Mark Stoermer it's like a kick to the liver for me.

Dave Keuning was the one who created The Killers, he was fuck fuck, no kidding... he was insisting that Mark Stoermer be a part of The Killers because he realized how special he is. Then Dave Keuning left for reasons not so unknown. Then Mark Stoermer, he did not want to leave, but his health problems did not allow him to continue; also Brandon Flowers did not take Mark's suggestions into account. And Ronnie Vannucci Jr. has always been faithful to Brandon Flowers, or rather he doesn't give a damn what Brandon does.

For my part, I will never delete this Tumblr and the other one I have, that's why it's my museum; I'm going to keep sharing stuff from The Killers and Coldplay, even if The Killers disappear as a group (then a miracle happens and they come back as Blur) and Coldplay don't make any more records; and Coldplay is only dedicated to giving concerts on the roofs of stalls and houses in England.

And of course I understand Brandon Flowers and also Chris Martin, in fact I don't know if I'll still be giving mamadas around here at fifty, no, hahaha... I don't know if I'll keep doing this Tumblr thing. :(

Lastly, I'm not against Brandon Flowers' religion, but if he runs his life on it... this makes me doubt his inte*** Visit ex-Mormon Reddit page, why do people stop being Mormon? It smells like a cu***. I apologize in advance if you feel offended by this. We deists are better. ^_*

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Brandon

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

INT. JESSE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Jesse sits on the couch, anxiously fidgeting with a cigarette. Skinny Pete lounges across from him on another couch, munching on crisps.

JESSE: (Confused) Yo, Skinny Pete, did you know Badger's real name isn't even Badger?

SKINNY PETE: (Half-chewing a crisp) What?! No way, man! You're telling me he's not an actual badger in a human suit?

JESSE: (Frustrated) No, man! I thought his name was Badger! And why the hell would you think that? Especially with all the spooning you two do!

SKINNY PETE: (Snorting) I don't know, man! I saw him once, all twitchy and shit. I thought he moved like a badger, you know?

Jesse shakes his head, amused despite the situation.

JESSE: Alright, alright, but hear me out. My boy came up with some info and spilled the beans. Badger's real name is Brandon Mayhew. Goddamn Brandon!

SKINNY PETE: (Horrified) Brandon? Freaking Brandon?! That's not gangsta at all, yo!

Jesse stands up, pacing around the room.

JESSE: (Annoyed) You think I don't know that, man? The whole time, we've been thinking he's Badger, and it turns out it's just Brandon Mayhew. How could he lie to us?

SKINNY PETE: (Concerned) Maybe he had his reasons, man. Remember that time he didn't want to be part of that meth deal? Maybe this name thing is connected somehow.

Jesse ponders what Skinny Pete said.

JESSE: (Serious) You might be onto something, Pete. We need to find him and confront him about this. This whole situation feels off to me.

SKINNY PETE: (Worried) Are we gonna beat his arse for lying to us?

Jesse shakes his head, dismissing the thought.

JESSE: Nah, man. We ain't gonna hurt him. But we need to understand why he's been hiding his true identity from us. We're supposed to be a crew.

SKINNY PETE: (Nods) Yeah, man. We need to figure this out, for the sake of the team.

Jesse and Skinny Pete gather their things and head out, determined to find Badger, or rather Brandon Mayhew.

CUT TO:

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

Jesse and Skinny Pete walk through the dimly lit alley, searching for Badger.

JESSE: (Worried) Where the hell is he? He's never this hard to find.

SKINNY PETE: (Hesitant) What if he's avoiding us, man? Maybe he thinks we're gonna be mad when we find out the truth.

Jesse stops in his tracks, looking concerned.

JESSE: (Firmly) We need to make him understand. We're not mad at him; we just want the truth. That's what real crew members do, Skinny Pete.

Just as they're about to give up their search, Badger (BRANDON) steps out from behind a dumpster, visibly surprised to see them.

BRANDON: (Stutters) J-Jesse? Skinny Pete? What're you guys doing here?

JESSE: (Determined) We know everything, Brandon. Your real name, man. Why did you lie to us?

BRANDON looks down, avoiding eye contact.

BRANDON: (Whispering) I… I wanted to fit in, guys. Badger was like a nickname, you know? It made me feel tougher, cooler.

SKINNY PETE: (Sympathetic) But, man, you've always been part of our crew. We don't care about nicknames or tough names. We're brothers, no matter what.

Brandon looks up, tears welling in his eyes.

BRANDON: (Emotional) You mean that, guys?

JESSE: (Softly) Yeah, man. We mean it. From now on, you can be Badger if that's who you want to be. As long as you're being true to yourself.

They share a moment of understanding and support.

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

Jesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger walk away from the alley together, united once again.

FADE OUT.

[nilesabbott]

It's now some time ago, since I posted here. I mean, nobody seems to read my stuff anyways, so it seems to don't matter 😅

Anyway I want to give a update on myself and things around me.

My weight loss journey continued. Meanwhile I lost over 55 kilos since last year and even build muscle. I even developed a slight hint of abs 😂

I cut my beard completely down to a goatee. I felt, that I was hiding behind the full beard. You know, it became kinda a mask for me. A shield to hide behind. Now I lowered at least that shield and discovered, that a young and kinda handsome face was hiding behind it.

And I start to let my hair grow out on the sides too. My goal is a haircut like Health Ledger, Brandon Lee or Ville Valo had. It definitely will look great on me.

Unfortunately my face and new body wasn't helping to find a new partner. That is the most frustrating part, you know? Most other gays are just looking for fun, a non-monogamous relationship and such. Especially that guys in my near. Plus mostly guys over 50 try to hit me up, while I just look for guys between 21 and 35 and have that written in my profile also.

To be honest: Being alone makes me kinda sad and feeling like I don't deserve to be happy.

It's a "problem" that I am not into bears and older guys. But bears always remind me of my dad and I don't feel attracted to my dad romantically or worse 😅 And similar with older dudes, especially since I don't feel like my age.

Honestly: I feel like in my mid 20th, especially since I wasted my 20th on my ex wife. I just NOW have my glow up and try to put my life together. At the same time, it feels like time is running out to find a partner. You know, I do not want to become that old guy creeping up to younger folks like these guys who write to me now.

To be honest: At the end, I kinda gave up already. If every Jack has his Jill, then I am Zachary 😂

Besides of that: I quit my therapy. Not because I think I am above that and don't need it. No no, I definitely need therapy. I quit it, because my therapist was an arsehole. She not wanted to help me getting along with my trauma. Instead, she wanted to help the insurance company saving money on me. I tried to tell her about shit that destroyed me, her reaction was "But that shouldn't stop you to go to work. How many job applications did you wrote? Where did you applied to?" and such. Totally ignoring stuff which is bothering me and acting like she isn't my therapist but a worker from the job department of government. That really made me feel like "Ok, if even my therapist don't care about me, why should anyone else?". The final moment, which made me quit was, when I told her about my strong fear looking at the political situation in Germany, with growing percentage of Nazis and shit. I told her I fear more violence and such. Her reaction "No, Nazis won't harm any queer people. It's only the foreigners who harm queer folks, I read a statistics about it.". Like ... WHAT?! I have friends who got attacked by Nazis, pride events received hate and you only have to look online to see the hate from the Nazis towards the queer community. Idk where she read the statistics, maybe on the AfD homepage. Or she is one of them too, Idk.

So all in all it wasn't a help at all and only fed my trust issues even further. Now I can't even trust therapists, which makes it kinda impossible for me to seek help.

But something positive: I quit drinking about a year ago. Not 100%. But it's now only one bottle of beer in a few weeks, which is really nothing. And my January was, in fact, completely alcohol free. That stuff helps me to get my body in a better shape and will help my mental health too.

And I kinda "rediscovered" some music. I listen again a lot to HIM and VV (Ville Valo). I was a giant fan in the 1990th/2000th and kinda stopped following a few years ago. Even though I had a hughe crush on Ville and still have. He is the only older guy I would like to be with 😅 But it isn't just about him (pun not intended 😂), it's the whole music and lyrics. Love can hurt, but at the same time, it can be something absolutely beautiful too. And at all: Self growth is important.

So ... what else? Idk 😅 I try to be somehow positive, find a job again and to make my own luck.

By the way: In the pics you see how I look now 😂

[pumathoughts]

Divisioinal Weekend Rundown

Divisional round: Jan. 20 and 21

NFC

(7) Green Bay Packers at (1) San Francisco 49ers

Saturday, 8:15 p.m. ET on FOX

Quite the surprise in Wild Card Weekend with Green Bay just demolishing the Dallas Cowboys and moving on to San Francisco. Jordan Love went 16 for 21 for 272 yards and 3 TDs in his playoff debut AND has thrown 21 TD’s and 1 INT in his last 9 games. Safe to say he is playing at a high level. San Francisco is coming off a bye week and gets their taste of playoff action for the first time this season. It’s no secret the 49ers have a tremendous offense. Christian McCaffrey should be MVP in my opinion but the 49ers are a sneaky good team that on the surface it looks like the offense runs through CMC, but it doesn’t. it’s blocking, route running and scheme. Brock Purdy can sling it and with a ‘Swiss army knife’ in Deebo Samuel and Brandon Aiyuk on the outside there are plenty of options for Purdy to distribute to. Oh, and George Kittle helps too. But the key for the Packers is Aaron Jones. Jones has rushed for more than 110 yards in each of the past four games. He ran for 118 yards and 3 TD’s against the Cowboys. Jones has rushed for more than 100 yards every time he’s faced the Cowboys in his career but he’s never rushed for 100 yards in six previous meetings against San Francisco. In the 2021 Divisional Playoff loss to the 49ers he had 9 catches for 129 yards and 12 carries for 41 yards. I think San Francisco wins but not by the -9.5 point spread Vegas is predicting. Packers are hot but they lose a heart breaker.

(4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers at (3) Detroit Lions

Sunday, 3 p.m. ET on NBC

Who would’ve thought Detroit, who hasn’t won a playoff game in 32 years would be hosting TWO playoff games in a season. What a wild ride it has been for the motor city this season. Jared Goff got his revenge against the LA Rams and is moving on to face the Baker Mayfield led Buccaneers. Lions DB CJ Gardner-Johnson is talking about how if Tampa had a better QB they’d be better. So bulletin board material before the biggest game in recent Lions history. No big deal. The Bucs took down a flawed Eagles team with blitzing the hell out of them. No AJ Brown, Jalen Hurts was hurt and ineffective, and there was no defensive help which led to this solid Bucs team advancing. Detroit is riding high and rightfully so, Detroit has two home games in the same playoffs for the first time in franchise history. Detroit hasn’t won 2 playoff games in a season since winning the 1957 NFL title! Be energetic, be excited, BUT this Buccaneer team is NOT to be overlooked. The defense is solid, Baker Mayfield is having a good season and is distributing the ball to his playmakers. Tampa isn’t flashy but they don’t have to be. The atmosphere in Detroit will be electric and I think Detroit gets the win but Tampa keeps it close.

AFC

(4) Houston Texans at (1) Baltimore Ravens

Saturday, 4:30 p.m. ET on ESPN/ABC/ESPN+

For some reason I feel that the rest vs. rust debate has to apply to the Ravens but not the 49ers, and I don’t really know why. Baltimore rested key guys against the Steelers the final week of the regular season and had a bye week. Guys got rest and more time to get healthy, but I can’t shake the feeling the Ravens will take a drive or two to shake the rust off. These teams meet for the second time this season, they played week 1 where Jackson threw an early INT, each QB had a fumble, Stroud took 5 sacks and Jackson took 4 sacks. It was a sloppy loss for Stroud but it’s safe to say each team rebounded nicely. Houston took it to Cleveland scoring at will on the best scoring defense in football. So why not try it with 6th ranked scoring defense in Baltimore. It’ll be 28 degrees in Baltimore so we’ll see how Houston handles the cold. CJ Stroud is exciting but Lamar Jackson is gunning for his 2nd MVP which he would have earned for sure. Baltimore hasn't hosted an AFC title game since January of 1971, when the Colts beat the Oakland Raiders. The Texans have never made it that far. They are 0-4 in the divisional round, including a loss to Baltimore in January of 2012. The Houston Oilers played in the AFC championship game, but their last appearance was 44 years ago. I think Houston will put up a good fight and I want the Cinderella story to continue in the worst way but I think Baltimore escapes this game with a win.

(3) Kansas City Chiefs at (2) Buffalo Bills

Sunday, 6:30 p.m. ET on CBS

This is it. This is the measuring stick. THIS IS THE GAME! This is to prove to everyone you are for real Buffalo. The playoff losses to KC have always been IN Kansas City. But now you get Patrick Mahomes at home. You get him playing his first road playoff game ever. I cannot overstate how immensely huge this game is for Josh Allen and Sean McDermott. Sean McDermott needs this win to show he can coach in the big moments. He needs to show he can manage a game from beginning to end. He needs to show he can close. Josh Allen needs to show he can outduel a 2-time Super Bowl winner. Period. The end. That’s it. Win, just win. I wouldn’t say this is the biggest game in franchise history, but this will be a franchise defining one. This regime needs to win to justify the culture, and the process. It’s more pressure on them but you put this pressure on yourself when you have the season you have. As far as this game goes, injuries will be the key. Buffalo needs to get some key guys back especially on defense. Rasul Douglas needs to play and so does Taron Johnson for the secondary to have some confidence in covering Travis Kelce and Rashee Rice. Isiah Pacheco didn’t play in the first meeting of these teams this season and the Bills need to clamp down on the run to keep Mahomes in long down and distances. The Chiefs are converting 52% of red-zone trips into touchdowns this season, which is in the bottom half of the league. Against Miami, the Chiefs went 2 for 6 and settled for four field goals. Keep everything in front of you. Stop the run. Force Mahomes into long down and distances and the Bills win. I think the Bills win but it’ll be so much closer than I want it to be. This is also a game I will be in attendance for so I’m sure my wife will enjoy my emotional mood swings for 3 hours.

[anwarnaser71]

The Best Garment Manufacturer Knit Composite Factory in Bangladesh

AT A GLANCE Crystal Group consists of Complete Knitting, Dyeing, Dyeing Finishing, Printing, and Garment facilities, intended for Clients who wish to obtain the best quality in their products. In compliance with Int. Standardizations such as Accord, SEDEX, OCS, BCI, GSP certification, AZO free certification, Garments Test, and BSCI, every aspect of operations are maintained at Global Standards. We Specialize in men’s, ladies', children’s, and kids' t-shirts, polo shirts, tank tops, hoodies, jackets, sweatshirts, trousers, leggings, activewear, and undergarments. Crystal Group also hosts a range of companies in various sectors including Aries Corporation (Buying House) Crystal Future Venture Ltd (Telecommunications), C-line (Intercity Luxury Coach Services), Crystal Dairy, Crystal Neerman and Crystal Bricks Company (Construction and Project Development) History Crystal Group was first established in 1991, as a Printing Factory, Operated as a Family Business. Today, Crystal Group Hosts a range of Companies in Multiple Sectors including Telecommunication, Luxury Coach Services, Construction, Dairy Farming, and Buying.

Our Mission Unlike Most Privately Owned Corporations, Crystal Group has never aimed to Maximize Revenue or Profits. Instead, we believe in Giving Back to Society and showing our Nation the Utmost Gratitude for assisting us with our achievements. A company is nothing without its members. We are concerned about everyone’s well-being first; only then can we call ourselves a Successful Organization! We strive to build strong relationships with our clients that outlast the test of time and hope to work hand in hand with them in achieving their Goals! Our Clients and their Requirements are the Top Priority and are handled with the greatest Care and Attention. At Crystal Group, we don’t differentiate ourselves as Employers or Employees. To us, Every Individual Counts and Everyone’s Voices are given a platform to be heard, and each individual’s requirements are considered. We consider ourselves a family where every individual has an important role to play in producing Quality Garments Products for our Clients! . Client List: Buyer Country of Origin Bangladesh Agent Woolworth South Africa Krayons Sourcing LPP Poland Piran Xtex Ireland Dhankora Ravelli Sweden Sisal Apparel New Yorker Germany Sisal Apparel HELM USA Krayons Go Sports France DTO Bel& Bo Belgium DTO London Republic United Kingdom B2Y Grey Wolf United Kingdom B2Y Gemo France Aries Corporation scan wear Denmark Scan wear Falabella Latin America Orient Honeoye La Helle France PDS Asia Star Peacock UK EWM Michael Brandon USA Granville Force Germany Easy Global Orchestra France Vastis Murrin Japan ETO Tex Company Name: CRYSTAL COMPOSITE LTD. (Knit Composite Garments with self-Printing Facilities) Factory Address: Khejur Bagan, Ashulia, Savar, Dhaka.Bangladesh. Year Established: 2006, Advising Bank: Agrani Bank Ltd. UTTARA MODEL TOWN CORPORATE BRANCE HOUSE#09, ROAD#12, SECTOR-6, UTTARA, DHAKA-1230 BANGLADESH SWIFT Code: AGBKBDDH045 Phone No: +88 02 58954590 +88 02 8931220 Department Wise Production Capacity · Knitting - 1,000 kg · Collar Knitting - 25,000 Pcs · Dyeing (Wet Processing) - 12,000 kg · Dyeing (Stentering & Heat Setting) - 15,000 kg · Garments Cutting - 10,000 kg / 32,000 Pcs · Garments Printing - 45,000 Pcs · Garments Sewing - 28,000 Pcs · Garments Finishing - 32,000 Pcs Contact Us: Companies: CRYSTAL COMPOSITE LTD. Email: info@crystalgroupbd.com Web: www.crystalgroupbd.com Crystal Knitting dept. Crystal Dyeing dept. Crystal Printing dept. Crystal Garments dept. Factory: 629, Khejur Bagan Ashulia, Savar, Dhaka Bangladesh Mail: Composite@crystalgroupbd.com Managing Director Mr. Sultan Ahmed Mail: s.ahmed@agni.com, Composite@crystalgroupbd.com Cell: +880 1714 014214 Director Mr. Shams Bin Sultan Mail: Shams@crystalgroupbd.com Cell:+ 8801315850117, +447940578923 Head of Marketing & Merchandising Md. Mahfuzul Alam Joarder Mail: mahfuz@crystalgroupbd.com Cell:+ 8801786407784 Crystal Group 629 Khejur Bagan Ashulia, Savar, Dhaka, Bangladesh. E-mail: info@crystalgroupbd.com Web: www.crystalgroupbd.com

[mystlnewsonline]

Pennsylvania to Expand Broadband Access Across the State

Pennsylvania Governor Shapiro Highlights Administration’s Plans to Expand Broadband Access Across Pennsylvania During Visit to Beaver County Beaver Falls, PA (STL.News) Friday, during a visit to the Carnegie Free Library in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro, Pennsylvania Broadband Development Authority (PBDA) Executive Director Brandon Carson, and the National Telecommunications and Information Administration (NTIA) discussed the Administration’s plans to use more than $1.16 billion in federal funds the Commonwealth will receive to expand broadband and ensure every Pennsylvanian can access the internet.  The funding is through the federal Broadband Equity, Access, and Deployment (BEAD) Program funding and is part of President Biden’s “Internet for All” initiative. Last week, Governor Shapiro announced that the Commonwealth will receive the funding to extend broadband infrastructure to communities that currently lack reliable, affordable, high-speed internet access in order to connect Pennsylvanians and ensure they can go to school, start and grow businesses, and access telemedicine no matter where they live. “When Pennsylvanians are connected to reliable broadband, they have better health outcomes, better education outcomes, and better economic outcomes,” said Governor Shapiro.  “That’s why we need to invest in broadband right now, to grow our economy and strengthen our communities.  Accessible, reliable, affordable broadband is important for every community and every family across this Commonwealth – no matter your zip code.  My Administration will continue to work with all our partners at the local, state, and federal levels to ensure that we can deliver real opportunity for every student, business, worker, and community in Pennsylvania.” The $1.16 billion in BEAD funding to the Commonwealth will be administered by the PBDA – an independent, bipartisan agency created by law in December 2021.  The PBDA is in the process of creating a five-year action plan that will put broadband in every community across Pennsylvania. “This is truly about supporting the people of Pennsylvania and ensuring they have the resources to live prosperous and healthy lives.  Everyone should have access to affordable, high-speed internet – and the PBDA is committed to making that a reality,” said Brandon Carson, Executive Director of the PBDA.  “Our team has worked hard to make sure Pennsylvania received this historic level of federal funding, and thanks to this support from the Biden Administration and under the leadership of Governor Shapiro, we look forward to connecting communities across the Commonwealth.” The PBDA worked with Penn State Extension to identify more than 50,000 locations in Pennsylvania that lack access to high-speed internet but weren’t included in the federal government’s initial map.  The Federal Communications Commission has upheld 32,000 of those submitted, making those locations eligible for federal BEAD funding and helping to ensure Pennsylvania received its share of the BEAD funding. The PBDA is now working to complete a five-year action plan for the Commonwealth’s BEAD allocation, which must be submitted to the NTIA by August 12, 2023.  Pennsylvania will receive the BEAD funding in 2024 following the NTIA’s approval of the plan.  The Authority plans to begin awarding subgrants to approved, eligible applicants in 2024. “Today we stand marking a once-in-a-lifetime moment, a moment when our generation can stand up and bring opportunity, equity, and access to all, a moment we can bridge the gap and expand infrastructure to every corner of this country,” said NTIA Senior Advisor for External Affairs Barbara Cottam.  “We all know today the internet is not a luxury – it’s a necessity.  Governor Shapiro understands this and has made providing affordable, reliable high-speed internet a priority of his administration.  Importantly, he understands the jobs coming with the internet build out and has already begun providing funding for registered apprenticeship programs to train the workforce.  Pennsylvania is thinking ahead.” Pennsylvanians are encouraged to participate in the community engagement events taking place around the Commonwealth throughout the summer.  Feedback will be collected from these events, as well as an online survey, and will be used to help shape broadband programs, including the five-year BEAD action plan. To date, Pennsylvania has received more than $1.5 billion in federal funding allocations for its broadband efforts.  In addition to the BEAD funding, Pennsylvania also received $279 million in funding through the Capital Projects Fund and $6.6 million in federal planning funds in 2022. Visit the PBDA’s website to learn more about its work to close the digital divide in the Commonwealth. SOURCE: Pennsylvania Governor Read the full article

[msclaritea]

Jane Roberts, who is married to Chief Justice John Roberts, made $10.3 million in commissions from elite law firms, whistleblower documents show

Mattathias Schwartz 

Apr 28, 2023, 12:17 PM MDT

Jane Sullivan Roberts, the spouse of Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts made more than $10 million in commissions as a headhunter for top-tier law firms between 2007 and 2014, according to internal documents included with a whistleblower complaint. Alex Brandon/AP

Jane Roberts was paid more than $10 million by a host of elite law firms, a whistleblower alleges.

At least one of those firms argued a case before Chief Justice Roberts after paying his wife hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Details of Jane Roberts' work come as Congress struggles to reform the Court's self-policed ethics.

Top editors give you the stories you want — delivered right to your inbox each weekday.

By clicking ‘Sign up’, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider as well as other partner offers and accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

Two years after John Roberts' confirmation as the Supreme Court's chief justice in 2005, his wife, Jane Sullivan Roberts, made a pivot. After a long and distinguished career as a lawyer, she refashioned herself as a legal recruiter, a matchmaker who pairs job-hunting lawyers up with corporations and firms.

Roberts told a friend that the change was motivated by a desire to avoid the appearance of conflicts of interest, given that her husband was now the highest-ranking judge in the country. "There are many paths to the good life," she said. "There are so many things to do if you're open to change and opportunity."

And life was indeed good for the Robertses, at least for the years 2007 to 2014. During that eight-year stretch, according to internal records from her employer, Jane Roberts generated a whopping $10.3 million in commissions, paid out by corporations and law firms for placing high-dollar lawyers with them.

That eye-popping figure comes from records in a whistleblower complaint filed by a disgruntled former colleague of Roberts, who says that as the spouse of the most powerful judge in the United States, the income she earns from law firms who practice before the Court should be subject to public scrutiny.

"When I found out that the spouse of the chief justice was soliciting business from law firms, I knew immediately that it was wrong," the whistleblower, Kendal B. Price, who worked alongside Jane Roberts at the legal recruiting firm Major, Lindsey & Africa, told Insider in an interview. "During the time I was there, I was discouraged from ever raising the issue. And I realized that even the law firms who were Jane's clients had nowhere to go. They were being asked by the spouse of the chief justice for business worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, and there was no one to complain to. Most of these firms were likely appearing or seeking to appear before the Supreme Court. It's natural that they'd do anything they felt was necessary to be competitive."

Roberts' apparent $10.3 million in compensation puts her toward the top of the payscale for legal headhunters. Price's disclosures, which were filed under federal whistleblower-protection laws and are now in the hands of the House and Senate Judiciary committees, add to the mounting questions about how Supreme Court justices and their families financially benefit from their special status, an area that Senate Democrats are vowing to investigate after a series of disclosure lapses by the justices themselves..."

[agenderfrenchfry]

While you were asleep we ended up giving Ethan the "Observant" Feat basically +1 to his int or wis score, he can read lips and has a +5 in terms of passive perception and passive investigation . Though I personally think it'd work better for Brandon or so, there IS Sentinel, one of our party members plays a fighter. On opportunity attacks he lands the enemy's speed becomes 0, it bypasses the disengage action too. "If a creature within 5ft of you makes an attack against another creature, you can use your reaction to make a melee weapon attack against the attacking creature" oh also Human Variant basically just gives a +1 to any two scores and a feat, and a language I think

I think Observant is a good choice! (Is he shaping up to be the braincell in the Wolfe group?)

And I didn't know that variant humans got the bonuses and language! That's a pretty good way to spice up a race some would consider “boring”.