#( i love integra's complex emotions on things

[pyreofsunflowers]

I dislike soooooo much of the writing in Ultimate and how they handled the characters n the plot but I think the WORST thing in that entire show is the way they wrote Alucard...

He's monstrous, sadistic and ultra-violent - sure, that's not my problem. My PROBLEM is that he's written in this stupid try hard edgelord fashion, which is NEVER interesting EVER.

I want Alucard to be sadist, I want him to be a violent monster who can kill people in horrific ways without remorse. But I also want him to be a character, and a well written one at that.

in MY mind - it's more like he's able to keep his demons in check (especially considering he's a government agent - ? and Integra seems pretty cautious about collateral damage - ?) under a suave, classy demeanor that's still ridiculously imposing and scary but not necessarily insane. When he chooses to go crazy - he goes CRAZY believe me. I'm not one of those people who think the gore in Ultimate is too much or try hard, it's the best part of the show. That being said ~ I also like the idea that he's lost an element of his control - or that it's not as good as it used to be and he (somewhat regularly) slips up and lets his emotions get the best of him. Of course, I imagine that he generally regrets these mistakes - either because it scares Integra/Seras or because he hates himself for loosing control and thinks he should have been stronger. Depending on the context.

oh and should I mention the whole edgelord thing really doesn't work with him being Count Dracula? Who's very much not an edgelord?

I just feel like he could have been such a complex character - especially if they had leaned more into a romantic plotline with him and Seras. How he'd be so afraid of hurting her, but how she so desperately wants to be corrupted by him. WHEREEEEE was them fucking on camera HIRANO - i KNOW you draw porn.

So desperately do I want him to have his monsters just below the surface, I want him to be scared of himself and to hate himself for it. I want him to try and try to keep himself from hurting the one he loves, to try and tell her this isn't what she deserves - that she's too pure and too innocent for this life. And I want Seras to tell him 'no' to become a monster like him and to love him every minute of it. I mean - if this is the character he should have, in my mind it makes the most sense that it's explored through romance. Especially one as tragic as theirs, one that has lasted centuries and has always ended in death.

Like ughhh just imagine how goood it would be when Alucard realizes Seras is just as fucked up as he is and he's able to be himself around her. how much havoc they can wreck together. how nasty he can fuck her <- sorry. But that's defiantly part of it. Like imagine how nervous he must have been to touch her for the first time, how much taking her virginity would weigh on him considering how rough and sadistic he is. Hellsing is like the one show I think that would have benefited from a consensual sex scene between the two leads. IT WOULD have been soooo good and could have given su soooo much introspection into there relationship.... Ugh but I can dream Ig, and it seems people generally really like edgelord-card but personally I cant stand him. where's my complex characters dammit. whatever. this is for a gorefest anime that isn't even supposed to be deep. But i wish it was better, If you even care.

[heirsung]

Headcanon, thoughts about Alucard, his servitude to The Hellsing Organization. Having read documentation on the experiments conducted on him, the atrocities committed on him for the sake of his servitude. Basically her thoughts on this information coming to life.

send me heacanon asks!

it’s a mixed bag     -  she UNDERSTANDS why her father experimented so heavily on alucard, that it was all to succeed in creating a creature so powerful that NO threat to queen and country could stand it its way.  and, hell, to this day she benefits greatly from what was done to alucard, he is the sole reason hellsing is so effective against the demonic beasts they fight.  no number of human soldiers could do what alucard does all by himself.  

she also fully understands that alucard himself is NOT free of sin, she knows his true identity, the extent of his previous tyranny, the souls who perished in great agony at his hand.  the millions contained within that serve as the source of his great power.  integra does think that, in part, what her father, her ancestors, did was an act of justice.

HOWEVER, he saved her    -  he saved her from a fate so tragic it bears not thinking about.  despite his villainy, despite his cruelty, he saw her, a little girl in danger, and leapt to her defense.  since then, alucard was there for her, someone she could call a friend, who filled a void left by her father’s passing; him & walter.  walter more so, of course, but she was alucard’s master now.  she could rely on him for so much at such a young age, he was part of her growth into adulthood.

it became HARD to think of alucard as the monster he once was, the monster he claims to be;  because she was privy to a different, more protective, side.  it then became hard to stomach the things her father had done, the tests and the experiments, the agony he endured for the sake of queen and country.  integra can’t help but feel a modicum of empathy for her servant, REGRET for her ancestor’s actions.

she understands why it had to be done, she knows he has caused more agony than he endured.  and yet, integra looks at alucard and doesn’t always see a monster who suffered for its crimes, but sometimes a friend who endured great hardships, and even though she shouldn’t, she can’t help but empathize with that.

it’s something she suppresses, of course, but never quite enough.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

alutegraaa

OTP. Love them. You guys know this. OG girlboss and malewife.

There’s like zero morals between them though? He’s Dracula But Eldritch and she’s the head of a shady af military branch. Idk why people sometimes treat Integra like she’s some sort of paragon of righteousness.

::Slaps ship:: This bad boy can fit so many war crimes.

And trauma.

There is a lot of trauma. I find that appealing in a ship too lol.

They’re just extremely fucked up and they’re each kind of… the source of or at least representative of each other’s problems?

Call me sappy but I enjoy that they should by all accounts hate each other but somehow make it work anyway.

It’s SUCH a suffocating dynamic though lmao it’s very fun. There’s something super messy about how neither of them can ever really escape the other?

I don’t mean it in an emotional way (though that too) but like they’re always going to just be… there unless one of them dies or does something incredibly unethical to shake the status quo. There’s no reasonable low stakes way to fully disengage?

And in this respect, while I multiship and can definitely see different pairings for either of them, I really don’t think you can have a canon set story that’s focuses on another ship without addressing this dynamic at all. (Of course you can, I just think it would be OOC)

Anyway this is one of the stories and dynamics I’ve liked and maintained interest in for the longest. I think part of that is that it’s fairly subversive, even next to things coming out now. And because it’s fairly complex by implication without really fleshing things out in canon so there’s just a lot of different angles to take with it and things to focus on.

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[doodleferp]

Finished the next OC ref! Now it’s Allison’s turn! Story's under the cut cuz I just tried a new format.

Why'd You Make Her?: She was a self-insert like a lot of my present-day OCs that I made back in late 2020 when I finally watched all of Hellsing Ultimate. I'm a serial shipper and I really got attached to Alucard, so I made her as someone he could connect with and confide in. I have a thing with wanting to give characters friends/lovers. I feel like nowadays she's responsible for a lot of my followers lol

What's Her Deal?: Allison's that typical Victorian lady -- soft, prim and proper, all about manners and respect. She's very much attached to her husband, for better or worse, and while she doesn't like to fight (it's so unseemly) she is not afraid to cross swords if she believes her loved ones are being threatened. Her compassionate nature is often pitted against common vampire complexes, and she also has a lot of insecurities from others mocking her or not taking her seriously (which happened quite often in her childhood and only continued when she became Alucard's wife). Alucard and Integra are probably the only ones who can tell what she's hiding, because she's gotten good at presenting a front for the sake of a tougher appearance. Thankfully, her hundred years of life has helped to harden her up, and while she's very devoted to Alucard she doesn't let him get away with anything.

In terms of powers, she can do pretty much all the stuff her husband can. Thanks to some stuff Van Helsing did to them, Allison would only drink her husband's blood for upwards of seventy years -- thus, her powers are much stronger than a typical vampire her age's would be.

Do I Ship Her?: Yes, with Alucard. I really like characters with a Hades/Persephone dynamic, and it's really fun to write/draw Alucard. I guess that even as creepy as they seemed, even back when they were a fresh new couple, their marriage was pretty damn progressive for their time, becausethe general Victorian norm was that married women became property to their husbands, giving them rights to what their bodies produced, and Alucard is hella big on consent so their marriage is based off "hey, is this okay honey? i wanna make sure you're comfortable with this first."

What's The Story?: Allison was born in Connecticut in June 1859, and is the eldest of four children. Her dad was an awful person, but rather than being the physically-abusive Victorian Dad stereotype, he relied more on mental and emotional abuse. He really didn't like Allison because he wanted a firstborn son instead, and pretty much forgot about her when her younger brother(s) were born. Somehow, she managed to con her dad into letting her go to college in London (Bedford College!), where she got a degree in English.

Allison met Alucard (then Dracula) in Transylvania while attempting to study abroad. Originally intending to turn her and make her another servant, Alucard decided against it after, for some reason, he couldn’t go through with it and dropped her at a halfway house. Allison, in the contagious spirit of “what the actual fuck”, stormed back to the townhouse Alucard was staying in, and demanded he give her an explanation. Imagine her surprise when Alucard broke down and started crying that he didn’t know why he wanted to spare her, and she stayed with him out of a weird gut feeling. They eventually moved to his castle in Transylvania, and over time the two fell in love. They married three years after they met, and Allison was turned on their wedding night. The couple went back to London for their five-year wedding anniversary, and through a series of extremely unfortunate events, they were captured by Abraham Van Helsing. Alucard was able to save their lives by swearing his servitude to Van Helsing’s bloodline, and the rest is pretty much history. Allison now lives in the sub-basement of the Hellsing manor, with the intent of keeping Alucard company while he waits for his contract with the Hellsings to be finished.

[honey-makki]

tutoring

Tsukishima Kei x GN!Reader

warnings: established relationship, calculus, suggestive content

word count: 1k

summary: calculus sucks almost as much as being in a long distance relationship

It wasn’t like Tsukihima to miss out on your weekly study dates. Both of you valued your academic standing and were willing to put in the work to maintain them. Just because you were willing, didn’t mean you enjoyed it, which is why Tsukishima would spend almost half of his time on the phone pestering you to actually work through your math problems, rather than just complaining about the complexity.

“Y’know Y/N, you would probably be done with this first calculus problem set by now if you hadn’t spent so long trying to figure out why I couldn’t facetime you this week.”

“Well you can talk on the phone but not facetime? You gotta admit that's weird. And, I r-really like being able to see your face. It’s been so long since one of us had an opportunity to visit.”

You sounded so sad, and you were right. It had been far too long since one of you had enough free time to sneak away and visit the other at their university. “I had plans tonight for something important but I didn’t want to miss out on hearing your voice.” He hopes that confession would portray everything he didn’t need to say, that he values these phone calls just as much as you do.

“Kei, can we talk tomorrow also, I’m struggling to do this geometry integral and it would be easier if you could show me how to do it.” His lips quirk up just a bit, and he's glad you can’t see him. Your question is a little bit of a lie, you really can’t figure out this problem, but you could go to office hours tomorrow for help. You really just want to see his face. How his tongue peeks out of his lips when he’s focused, how he smiles at you when he thinks you aren’t looking, just a glance is all you need. A reminder that he’s there, even if he’s not next to you.

“Yeah I guess I can find time to tutor your ass. Are you gonna listen or try to get out of actually doing it again.” You let out a squawk, readying a defense of your character. But more importantly a brutal attack the “overstated importance of integra--”

“Hey, I have to go, I just got to my stop. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” His voice is lighter than it normally is at this time of night. Typically riddled with exhaustion, tonight you find it with almost a teasing lilt to it. A tone reserved for compliments and adorations, and it doesn’t quite fit. You don’t have time to really say anything before he utters a whispered i love you in the form of “sweet dreams” and hangs up.

The doorbell signalling your food delivery pulls you away from your desk and text books for the first time in hours. The thought of warm italian food being the perfect thing to eat while watching a few episodes of Love Island before bed bring you immediate joy. You didn’t bother to clean up your appearance, since you ordered contactless delivery but you should have, because standing at the door is Tsukishima Kei. Your long distance boyfriend you haven't seen in months holding your take out from the place down the street.

Confusion of just seeing him here. Anger at him lying about his plans. Embarrassment about looking so ragged. You can barely comprehend the mix of emotions rushing through your body under the base one. Love for him, love that he came, and maybe a smidge of love for your favorite dish that he's holding in his hands. He must pick up on the anger flashing through your eyes because he raises his hands in defense.

“I didn’t lie to you! I said I had plans tonight. I do, surprising you here, pretty good plans if you ask me.” You can see his smirk, the one you could hear through the phone earlier and god you’ve never been happier about his condescending attitude. He expects the usual playful punch and stumbles when you throw yourself into him, hugging him close and tight. The grey fabric of his tee betraying you and showing the tears of joy sliding down your face.

“I’m here, ok?” He gives you a soft kiss on the forehead before guiding you inside, “Let me go set your food down and then I’m all yours babe, I can’t really hug you holding a bowl of pasta in one hand.”

Letting go was hard, him coming back to you, sprawling out on the couch with you underneath him made the brief distance worth it. His warmth is welcome, a heat you didn’t know you were missing until you got it back. The woodsy scent of cedarwood and sage create an intoxicating aroma that would lull you to sleep if you heart wasn’t thrumming with excitement from the mere proximity. It has been too long.

You don’t know how long you held him there. Long enough for your food to grow cold and ache to settle in your bones from the ultimately uncomfortable position. He shuffles around trying to redistribute his weight and you just groan, a little in pain and a little frustrated.

“Don’t leave me, Kei. You’re warm and boyfriend duties say you have can’t let me be cold.”

“What, don’t wanna go to your room and figure out that killer math problem? Just wanna lay on the couch all night because I know it isn’t comfortable.”

“..No, Wanna go to bed but I don’t want to waste a single minute with you.”

He gets up and before he objects,has you in his arms bridal style carrying you to your room, “You don’t have to worry about me wasting a single minute with you. You are far too important, not to mention enticing, to ignore.” The wiggle of his brow made you laugh before leaning up for a kiss.

“Calculus can wait until tomorrow. I think I’ve waited more than long enough to spend the night with you by myself.”

His voice is a whisper “Can’t argue with that,” as he lays you down on the bed and kisses you deeply, like he won’t ever get the chance again.

taglist : @ceo-of-daichi @ushijimasthiccthighs @heauxzenji @cno-inbminor @lumos-flies @keijiiszn @aleacarnin @spacebunnyexe @onefortyninecm @tsumue @sgwrscrsh @hoekageyama @kure-san

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[zombriekid]

Medium [Alucard/Gender Neutral Reader]

Series: Hellsing

Summary: “…could I request where the reader uses their medium powers on a mission and Alucard begins to believe them?” victory usually tastes so sweet but not at the expense of the innocent

warning: vague mentions of violence against children

 Mediumship is nowhere near as glamorous as the entertainment industry loves to portray; it’s not all traipsing (see: trespassing) on ancient burial grounds and hurling invasive questions into the air in the hopes of something Otherworldly™ responding. You don’t often see apparitions- full body or otherwise- and it’s rare to hear much more than a single whisper, in fact the vast majority of the time your dealings with the dearly departed amounts to little more than just random surges or depletions of energy.

 This is not to say that your spirituality is weak, it’s just that… that’s what “ghosts” are- energy left behind by the living like an imprint of history, and this energy can be influenced by events, past or present, and passionate emotions, negative or positive, thus rendering any argument that they exist a hollow shot in the dark. Because you can’t prove what you (often) can’t see, not to others, especially in this day and age of technology with photo/video manipulation. And the fact that mediumship has a bad rep due to prior exploiters and frauds.

 But you purposefully leave that last bit out of the conversation cause even though He’s acting like He’s not interested, you know that Alucard is tuning in.

 Not that you can blame Him though. What else is there to do?

 From the moment your little menagerie of hunters stepped out of the Hellsing jet, absolutely nothing has happened. Nothing, zilch, nada. This might be ideal in other situations but you were promised a paycheck upon the eradication of a vampire who’s “more monster than man” and the subsequent purification of his/her hunting grounds, and goddammit you can’t let this mission stain your record! That and Mr. Tall Dark and Frightening is assigned as one of your partners.

 Well… more like you’re the one that’s assigned but yadda yadda fine details and all that.

 “So in other words…” Seras pauses with a drawn out vowel, “you feel ghosts rather than see or hear them?”

 You shrug in response before catching your boot over a pile of broken glass. It’s inevitable that you’ll trek through some before the mission’s end- hell before the night’s over because of friggin course a bloodsucker sets up shop in an old, forgotten hospital- however the less shards you have to pluck out of the soles later the better.

 “Depends. I hear Pip just fine, and on occasion he visually manifests himself for me, but that’s only cause of his connection with you. Uses your energy.”

 This seems to satisfy the young vampire for she gives you a quiet hum in acknowledgment with nothing else to follow. Silence hangs over your small group as the three of you inch down the hall, briefly turning your attention into every passing doorway and you specifically avoiding stepping on to jagged scraps of splintered wood and dusty glass; these two might be immune to pathogens but that doesn’t mean you are.

 “So you sensing energy… you mean that literally?” She asks.

 “Yes ma’am.”

 “Then riddle me this, revenant,” Alucard’s voice disrupts the conversation, chases away any semblance of peace and echoes into every dark corner of the walls around you. The fine hairs all up and down your skin suddenly stand to attention with the intrusive introduction of His baritone. It’s not as if you forgot that He’s there, or even that He’s eavesdropping, you just didn’t expect Him to vocalize His opinion. Should’ve known better, it’s friggin Alucard after all. “Do you ‘sense the energy’ of our target?”

 That’s the thing.

 You don’t.

 You can pick up both of your companion’s energies easily- Alucard’s is oppressive and dark and just plain inhuman while Seras’s is warm and jovial, but scarred, reticent, as if she has a blanket of secrets weighing down her back until she aches. That’s the best way you can describe it at least.

But there’s no other energy nearby.

 Now you’ll always be the first to admit that there are certain limitations to your spiritual sensitivity- for instance you wouldn’t be able to sense someone in the parking lot from this deep in the complex- and there are many factors outside of your control that contributes, with species acting as a major contender. After all, man eating monsters tend to amass a surplus of energy with every soul they devour, human or otherwise.

 So why can’t you feel the target’s energy? Sir Integra herself described them as “a gluttonous, beastial affront against the Lord with a deplorable appetite for children”; loss of humanity, depraved morality, the murder of kids… merely one of these would be sufficient enough for you, let alone all three, so this should have ease akin to your breathing offending Alucard in some way.

 Then why…?

 “I’m callin’ it,” Seras huffs before her boots cease their trek, which (shockingly) causes your other vampiric squadmate to pause as well. No need to single yourself out, strength in numbers as the saying goes, so you do the same. “They’re not here.”

 “I agree, but why not ask Hellsing’s residential medium? After all they’re supposed to be able to sense this thing’s energy.”

 The walls quickly sprint by in your vision as you snap your attention to the right, and you channel every poisonous thought and cutting emotion into the glare you fix the back of His head with. Alucard feels the weight, you know He does, just as you don’t need to see it in order to know that there’s a self satisfied grin stretching across His face.

 God, He’s such a petty bitch.

 Then again so are you.

 “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you could use the energy of your soul to sense someone else’s!” You spit out through a clenched jaw, but you’re not yet done. Now for the zinger. “Wait! That’s right. You can’t cause you don’t have o-”

 Cold.

 A plume of icy chill kisses your pebbling skin. Fine hairs rise. Your spine straightens. Instincts, or a sort of magnetic pull to your right. Not Alucard though. Further.

 Over your shoulder.

 A winding stairwell.

 Energy. Young. Scared. On the same floor. Your floor. The first stair.

 There’s a-

 “Murray?” You hear someone ask but you quickly shush them.

 Because there’s a ghost at the base of the stairwell in the little passage off to the group’s right; it’s not strong enough to create a perfect visual, or rather much of a visual at all, instead you’re graced with an opaque silhouette vaguely humanoid in shape. You can make out where the head and shoulders are supposed to be, though the legs dissipate below (presumably) the knees, and judging by the relatively small size you can almost safely assume that this spirit comes from a child.

 An assumption that dries out the roof of your mouth, tightens the muscles in your throat until it hurts to swallow; child ghosts have always proven to be the most harrowing in terms of purification, if nothing else because of the implications of their demise. No one cherishes the idea of dead children, after all.

 It’s in the nature of your job, unfortunately, and it’s time to get to work so first thing’s first: is this ghost related to the mission?

 “Do either of y’all know any history about this place?” You ask in a voice that practically toes on screechy, and yes you’re aware that your drawl is a touch thick right now. “A children’s hospital, maybe?”

 Seras stumbles over her words, likely a result from your behavior considering this is the first she’s bore witness to this side of your role, but she quickly regains her faculties with a throat-clearing cough.

 “N-no, it’s umm.. was just a general hospital. Mostly used during one of the World Wars.”

 Your kneecaps ache- cold, sharp, it bites at the crevices between your joints and it slinks down both shins until your toes start to feel chilly. A sort of rolling, hollow loftiness churns the pit of your stomach, and your head seems far too heavy to be sitting on such a stiff neck, and a dusting of salty tears sting the fleshy corners of your eyes. A scream tears at your jaw.

 But you don’t panic, there’s no need to because this reaction is not yours. The pain in your legs, the woozy light headedness that’s sapping your energy, the involuntary urge to sob and shriek until the lining of your throat feels like sandpaper? None of this belongs to you. This is your body reacting to the stimuli from the child’s ghost.

 Or as you like to call it: minor possession.

 “Why do you ask..?”

 A vampire with a preference for younger victims.

 “Murray?”

 The shade of a terrified kid, silhouette incomplete, and everything from your knees down plagued with an icy burn.

 …there’s no denying it, what you’re currently staring at, subsequently what’s burrowing into your bones and siphoning your energy, is a casualty of this mission’s target.

 You hear someone call your name, more specifically your first name, but with so much metaphorical cotton stuffed in your ears you can’t really determine who so you instead lift a pointer finger towards the spirit; perhaps crawling through mud would be easier. God you feel so weak.

 Seras is the first to respond.

 “Wha’ is it? I don’t see anything.”

 Through your teeth you manage to bite out: “g-ghost.” And that is perhaps the worst thing you could’ve said or done because the shrill gasp that she unleashes is nothing short of jarring, and she bounces from one foot over to the next and back again as her red eyes widen and glimmer with what you could only call excitement.

“Where?! Where is it, where do you see it?!”

 These questions gush out of her like a broken spout with many more to follow, but you can’t help but to tune them out cause this? What she’s doing right now? Yeah this is the exact reason why you prefer to tend to spirits by yourself; the fascination that borderlines fetishization that most carry with their individual worldviews often leads to disrespecting those who have long since passed. Hence your profession boggled down with money-grubbing charlatans, and entire programs dedicated to ghost hunting- ah, your apologies, you mean “paranormal investigating”. It’s distasteful, it’s tacky, and it’s downright insulting, and it etches itself deep into the lines between your brows and the downward tug of your frown.

 This… must convey your message perfectly for the young vampire’s delight gradually bleeds into something more somber.

 Maybe if you weren’t so tired you’d find it in yourself to let it go? “That’s one of our target’s victims, Victoria. Try to show some respect?”

 At least she has the decency to look ashamed, unlike her master whom you can feel the glare He levels you with behind the orange tint of His glasses. Any other time and the weight of His ire would intimidate you, but you honestly don’t care right now.

 The child’s spirit rises and bobs up the stairs, as if it’s simulating the act of walking, and with it goes the sensation of ice and pain and fear out of your joints. From beside you, on your right, you can barely make out Seras quietly saying “I think I see something.” It rounds the sharp bend in the stairwell before it continues its ascension until you can’t see- or sense- it anymore.

 And then something dawns on you.

 “I think he/she wants us to follow.”

 Alucard scoffs from somewhere behind you. “Is it going to lead us to the target?”

 A nod is all that you give Him. He in turn allows a single barking laugh to rip from His throat out of derision, judging by the sound in the way it’s meant to curl around your cheeks until they feel hot, however you’re rather confident in your assessment. In fact you’re very nearly absolutely certain that that is what’s going to happen: follow the ghost and you’ll find the target.

 Which brings you to your final conclusion, one that Seras seems to be grasping at herself. “Wait. If this ghost genuinely is a victim, then it really shouldn’t… exist per say, yeah?”

 “Yep. Man eating monsters, especially vampires, essentially absorb souls as a means to substitute what they’ve lost.” You glance at her in your peripheral. “Which means one of two things. Either my hunch is wrong and this spirit truly is an echo from the past, or…

 “My hunch is right, the spirit is a casualty, and our target’s already dead.”

 Silence picks up where your sentence ends; the nothingness of the quiet permeates through one ear and out the other, and it presses down on the bones of your shoulders until your spine shivers. There’s a tension in the air not unlike a rubber band being stretched from both ends, you can feel it in the cavity of ribcage, and though you could easily attribute the stress to the hospital’s atmosphere or the very real possibility of your estimate holding true, your instincts- built from some odd months worth of experience and adversity- place the blame on something else.

 Or rather someone else.

 Alucard.

 Because His opinion of you, and of your work, is coated in an acidic venom, and He’s very open about this with every sharp word and barbed look that He deems worthy of His time. Yet He hasn’t said anything else, hasn’t done anything else since His last outburst of sarcasm, and it makes you hyper aware of Him. As if He’s going to attack at any moment, physically or otherwise. Does He disagree? Is He biding for time until the finale where He can deliver yet another calamitous blow to your already scarred ego? … Is He actually considering that you may be right about this?

 Not possible. His pride is greater than His hatred for your existence.

 And on this dismal thought, you decide to not dedicate any more energy in to solving the enigma that is Alucard and you take a few strides towards the stairs before you mumble out a “only one way to find out.” You don’t bother waiting for your companions.

 Not twenty minutes later the three of you are provided with a definite answer to your theory.

 But you don’t gloat, there’s not even a hint of desire to. Because, after all, no one cherishes the idea of dead children.

_______________________________________________________________________

a/u: had ta repost this bitch cause i done messed up a-aron, which in turn meant tumblr pissed in my coffee and not showed it in ANY tags sooo... presto here we are again! once more with feeling: thank you to the anon who requested this, and thank you to everyone who reads <3 if ya liked my scheisse then please tickle the heart, leave a comment, and reblog it so other peeps can enjoy it too -3-

[imthemuthafuckingcricket]

I was tagged by the lovely @somewheremeantforme

10 Favorite female characters

What? Only 10? Alrighty then…Potential spoilers and rambles. Here we go.

1.Angrboða [Poetic Edda/Norse Mythos]- I don’t know if she counts as a character, but considering she is not a real person that is alive and breathing I’ll add her to the list. I have always found her fascinating and her lack of media presence just fuels me to do more research and gdi I should just write/draw her more, but I can never get her right. And dammit Angrboda deserves, nay demands perfection.  Anyways I feel as though Angrboða doesn’t get enough respect. Grief bringer? Mother of Monsters/Wolves? Hag of Ironwood? Chief?? Yea she’s badass and is worth more than her relationship to Loki(e)…I could go on…

2.Integra Hellsing [Hellsing] - I don’t know man she’s just cool. I wish I could be that cool.  

3.Princess Carolyn [Bojack Horseman]- Oh where to begin, this is one of the best female characters I have seen written. PC is at her core the stereotypical “I don’t need a man, I don’t need anybody all I need is my career. Oh no I’m almost 40yrs old and I’m lonely” character, but still the show gives her so much more beyond that. She is working hard to adopt, she genuinely cares about her friends/loved ones and will do anything to help them, when Diane wanted an abortion she was upset that Diane was willingly giving up what she could never have but still at the end of the day didn’t vilify Diane and talked to her (this whole episode btw was amazing and dealt rly well with abortion) I also enjoy Diane as a character and her flaws, most of the female characters are written really well, I’m getting sidetracked here but yea watch Bojack Horseman. Anyways, PC is a strong person (cat?), but we get to see her at her most vulnerable “It's…just…really hard to need people” and her struggles. PC can be pushy and one-sighted and yes her helping people is not completely selfless and in some way it benefits her. Besides wanting children, I never thought I would related to a pink cat wearing a fish dress so hard.

4.Lady Eboshi [Princess Mononoke]- In many ways she is the villain and the main antagonist (I say this bc there are multiple villains) of the movie but I find her interesting in that she is not wholly evil.  Though she is horrible to the environment and the animals/spirits living there she is a fair leader, who has helped the unwanted and worthless of society and gave them work and a home. Her people genuinely love and care for her. Which is another reason I love this movie because it hints at “Humanitarian vs. Environment” Lady Eboshi being the personification of this argument, also Lady Eboshi highlights how one person can do excellent work/relief in one area and be a completely shitty person in another area. Does her bad deeds cancel out all the good she has done? This is a favorite argument of mine, just in a general sense.

5. Evelyn O'Connell [The Mummy]- Come on I made a post specifically about how I wanted to be like Evie when I got older. Super brave and intelligent woman that could read Egyptian( I think she knew multiple other languages as well) studied/worked in Egypt,  got to go on a magical adventure in EGYPT. When I was a kid I was majorly into Ancient Egypt (I haven’t quite outgrown that). I also had a big thing for Lara Croft too and I think that goes hand-in-hand with Evie. But most importantly… “ I AM A LIBRARIAN!”

6. Haruka Tenou [Sailormoon]-  Baby gay [me] was gay way longer than she anticipated. Also...A E S T H E TI C

7. Medea [The Medea]- Countless essays have been written about Medea that would go way deeper into her complexity as a character than what I can do right now. Yea, she’s an interesting character that is by all means not a hero, but it also a victim herself. And one of the few stories from the classics that revolves around a woman, that isn’t two-dimensional.

8.Leslie Knope [Parks&Rec]- I’m going to say it, Leslie knope is the reason that P&R is far superior to the Office even though the writing team is practically the same and the humor at its base is also the same. Leslie Knope is not Michael Scott, Michael is pretty bad (tbf I haven’t finished the series, so we’ll see), But despite Leslie’s many flaws she’s still endearing, hardworking w/ high goals, loves her friends/job and her community. Again, I’m not saying she is perfect because she has such high standards/expectations that she expects everyone to meet her at these impossible heights, often ignores her friends’ advice/complaints even if it’s all with good intentions, can be mean and so forth. Ill admit it, she makes me want to work harder and the character Ron Swanson was great at balancing her out.

9. Rosa Diaz [B99]- Rosa is a cool character with a cooler jacket and I enjoy watching her, I don’t have a deeper reason than that.

10. Anthy Himemiya [Revolutionary Girl Utena]- Anthy is a character that has more questions than answers within the context of her own story. She has done many horrible things and should be held accountable, however, Anthy has been the victim of abuse for years and as a character we must take that in consideration. But where do we draw the line for guilt/personal responsibility? How much physical/emotional abuse can really mess a person up and drive them to these terrible acts? Also, I thought she had the most character growth in the series, which made the ending all the more powerful because of what she went through and the choices she had to make to get there. However, I would literally die for all the women in RGU so…

Bonus: Xena the Warrior Princess, Medusa

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[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

what are your thoughts on canon alutegra? no AUs or canon divergence?

Hm I’m not sure do you mean what I think their relationship is like, if it’s a canon thing at all, or whether I ship it?

Basically I think any romantic tension is entirely in subtext and not a thing either of them ever actually voice. I see their relationship more as pining from a distance, or perhaps a missed opportunity that during the timeskip Integra regrets never having taken.

Alucard’s canonically utterly devoted. But I think he’s also somewhat guarded and hides behind a veneer of apathy. Though he calls her his “beloved” master, and we see quite a bit of teasing and innuendo from his side, that’s not the same as saying anything to her in earnest. It’s not the same as making himself vulnerable or actually admitting feelings. I don’t think he‘d ever take the first step. Not with her... or anyone really.

Integra is similarly guarded, even moreso; I don’t think she’s at all ready to be vulnerable either.

They literally never touch in the series, which is made verrry clear during that last scene when she offers him a drop of blood from an impractical three feet away lol. She’s also pretty quick to pull rank when he strikes a nerve or in any way oversteps.

It’s difficult to analyze Hellsing without inserting any headcanons, given how opaque the emotional side of... everything is. But I think she does struggle with the idea of like caring about a vampire at all, which is part of why she’s so closed off and wary of him. That might change post time skip, when she’s washed her hands of a lot of expectations over what she must do or how she must act. But it’s difficult to be certain without seeing what actually happened during those thirty years.

Regardless, I think absence definitely made the heart grow fonder in her case. And if their relationship ever becomes more standard (instead of the weird BDSM chivalric devotion thing they have going on) then it would be after Alucard’s return.

As for whether it’s canon... I think so? Word of God has confirmed it twice. (We got both the “twisted love” comment, and Hirano saying that he always intended an AxI pairing so he matched Pip with Seras instead) And I personally think all. the. innuendo. put in context with the overt BDSM dynamic, and the romantically framed ending mean that it’s textually canon too.

Anyway, obvs I ship it, I think it’s cool and complex and pretty tragic. Like 90% of the Hellsing fic I’ve written has been Alutegra lol, though it’s usually a touch softer than I interpret them in canon and admittedly OOC in that they actually discuss feelings being a thing that exist at all! I like tragedy in romance and I think there’s a lot of that in this ship. And there’s just soooo much baggage and conflict that makes it fun to pick apart.

I hope... any of this answers your question ahaha