#( dustin x heejin )
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Closed starter for @fadinglights
"If you asked me to help you hide a body, I would." Murder wasn't on the table and had they gotten to that point, Dustin would actually do anything to protect her but that wasn't the point right now. "I would have, I mean but I cannot keep doing this with you Heejin. We're either together or not, there's no in between for me." He stepped away from her, to prove a point. "I'm too old to act like a 20 something year old running around."
#opp: heejin alexis seung#fadinglights#c: dustin#( dustin x heejin )#lemme know if she prefers alexis or heejin and I'll adjust lol#sorry this is so late too!#alsooo I loveee lee da hee
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CC Blogger - New Arrivals @ Collectors Corner : Wednesday - 5/22/19
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[X] for heejin & dustin
Send me a [X] to see my muses favorite picture of your muse | accepting
@fadinglights
Dustin doesn't get to see her smile enough. Especially with her divorce and just the way Heejin is. So he adores and remembers every time she does smile or laugh. He just wants to see it more.
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Her admission makes his heart leap, almost out of his chest. It says a lot but means so little in the truth. It's changed nothing but confirmed once again that they felt something for each other. Still he sighs. Dustin isn't sure what he could say, that he hasn't said today or in their previous conversations. "You know Heejin, you make me happy." He's not completely sure if he's said that before. He thinks he has, though now he's wondering if he just thought the implication spoke loud and clear to her. Dustin still isn't sure it changes much, and the last thing he wants is to pressure her but he just wanted... well more. Rolling his shoulders back, he wonders if maybe it would help to take the topic lighter. "Okay, what's two things you would do if fear didn't hold you back? Doesn't have to be with us."
her stomach twists when he mentions how seeing her with someone else made him feel. guilt churns inside her, and she hates that she's put him through so much, only to prolong the torture even now with her indecision. "i would feel terrible." she admits frankly. it still makes her anxious, wearing her suppressed feelings for him on her sleeve now. "but you deserve to be happy." if he decides that waiting on her won't be worth it, she would have no choice but to respect his choice. she nods slowly, whispering, "i know." it is greedy of her to want so much that she cannot fully commit herself to, at least not to the extent that she wishes she could.
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dustin has slowly, but surely, and unfortunately, realized that there is no amount of words to make her see what he needed her to see. she was still convinced of some reality that as far as he was aware, was untrue. although he can't imagine how much he can actually change her mind before he's tired of talking or she's tired of hearing. "tell me the truth. how would you feel if I dated someone else? i know how i'd feel after —" he cut himself off, trying to not pressure her anymore. he had always been great at being patient but when it involved people he loved, that patience thinned dramatically. "heejin, that is one fear that i can't solve for you."
she knows it isn't fair for him to ask her to wait, but she doesn't have a better alternative either. her worry doesn't subside even when he concedes, as she senses his underlying unwillingness, which she can't blame him for. he deserves someone who can offer the best version of themselves, not a shadow of who they once were. she freezes when he takes her hand, though she doesn't pull away. she nods, feeling somewhat comforted by his gentle words, but doubts linger. "i know, but it'd be messier if it's with me." still, if he decides this is worth it, who is she to fight against it? she takes a deep breath, her gaze remaining on their entwined hands. "i don't want to risk losing you."
#fadinglights#c: dustin#opp: heejin alexis seung#( dustin x heejin )#lmfao not me realizing a lot of my threads are just pain rtn
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although she's nodding he can see that the process he wasn't to take place, isn't what is happening. her ex took a toll on her and dustin's only hope was that she wouldn't be bogged down by it. yet what he wants and what is real are still not aligning. waiting around for a woman he couldn't have? he was only getting better and better at it. yet now that she was even available, she wasn't. "right. right. I won't push you." though he really wanted to. if only he saw heejin's ex, he would swing within minutes. dustin took her hand, tentatively at first before securing his grip. "you will mess it up, hell so will i. we're human, it doesn't matter when or how we start. relationships will always be messy in some way." it was two imperfect people trying to make life work.
heejin nods, though a part of her remains unconvinced. as much blame as she has pinned on her ex, it takes two for a seemingly perfect marriage to fall apart. her own hands must be tainted in its own way, too. "i wish i could give you an answer." she admits honestly, but she has no clue. how long does it take for someone to restore their faith in love and not be paranoid over everything after such a catastrophic fallout? "i want this with you — i really do, but i don't want to start this if i can't be sure that i won't mess it up." that would be terribly selfish and he deserves better than that.
#no truly and my heart already hurts lol#fadinglights#c: dustin#opp: heejin alexis seung#( dustin x heejin )
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He can't help but try his best to hold fast on his stance as he see's Heejin. If there's anyone who understands what she's going through, it's him. To the point where if he wasn't so sure that caving in would ruin him, then he would. Still the understanding is only so much. "You aren't messed up Heejin. You know I'd tell you that," he joked, though it was hard to turn the current atmosphere into anything other than serious. He's not sure that he wants to but he fears that the conversation will spill into something he can't handle. "How much longer? I won't stay at a distance just because you need more time. You're pushing my hand here."
heejin sighs, deep down she has known that this conversation is inevitable. she nods slowly, in her gaze a mix of understanding and panic. "i get that." she cannot fault him for not wanting to waste his time, but this is far from that for her. "but try to see it from my perspective, okay?" after years of being in a seemingly perfect marriage that ended in flames abruptly, she can hardly call herself an advocate for love. "of course, i want this with you and it's not your fault that i'm messed up, but i just..." she takes a shaky breath, trying to soothe herself before she breaks. "i need more time."
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