#( dont assume my positivity means tolerance because i dont tolerate bullshit that hurts others. )

[cinderspewed]

i feel like my patience is being tested, so i’m gonna say this once and only once. if you’re racist ( YES - COLORBLINDNESS COUNTS ) - i don’t fuck with you. if you’re transphobic, misogynistic, dead-name, and misgender - i don’t fuck with you. pedophilia? i don’t fuck with you. incest - i don’t fuck with you. noncon, dubcon, rape, overly nsfw - i don’t fuck with you. that’s it. i’m done here. just because i’m hardly on doesn’t mean i condone peoples bullshit. and this is exactly why the fuck i struggle to be on and became selective.

[flameontheotherside]

To Love Yourself = To Love Your TF

If your TF shares the same soul as you as like a spiritual twin in the womb of time and space or God. Obviously by that logic when you love and respect yourself, you are doing so to your TF. Having one in spirit or not living on earth, our roles are a little more defined. I'm assuming we all know who plays what. I'm Devine masculine and Erik is Devine Feminine. This has nothing to do with your gender on earth (just because your female now doesn't make you Devine Feminine every single time) obviously because I'm female and I like being female minus the emotional baggage and periods. I feel comfortable in my body unless I'm in a dress. I might look good but I feel awkward. I don't wear my emotions on my sleeleve and I curse a lot.

Regardless of that stuff, I learned that no matter where you are in your journey, to love yourself is to love your tf and vise versa. Also we are never apart. There so many ways you can be connected. For example I'm sure Erik watch Supernatural. I never seen it before early in 2009. But I had a deja vu or at least I thought so. I was also stoned for the first time but I get deja vu anyway. I probably swore I've seen the show because Erik has and that kind of leaked into my subconscious. I could be wrong, I could be right. It doesn't matter. Its just a probability.

So technically if someone were to tell you to go fuck yourself say:

Right on it! 😋👌

Give yourself a hug. Pat yourself on the back or not on the back. Lmao 🤣.

But seriously. You have to love yourself, respect yourself, care for yourself, stick up for yourself, be the best version of yourself without sacrificing your image. People notice when you're fake. Especially when your fake.

So don't go inventing some new identity. It doesn't work. I used to think this was the right thing to do after every relationship. It never works out. People will always see past your fakeness so be true to yourself. If you feel you have to change who you are, that's not real love. I did it for survival. I chose guys based on whether they could take care of me. I didn't want to be homeless and I didn't want to look like a loser. All of my friends started getting married. I wasn't in it for love. I was trying to keep appearances.

In all honesty since Erik died in 2009, I really gave up.

2 years after I wrote the letter on Erik's birthday. That unexplainable sense that "it" whatever it was, was over. Finished. It wasn't until I met Erik that he convinced that my life didn't have to be over or all about survival. Granted that no one will ever be like your TF but it doesn't mean I have to be alone for the rest of my life. Rick does annoy me but he's intelligent, funny and goes out of his way to not be an asshole. Plus he's also intuitive so I don't feel judged when I talk about Erik. There are other things but its just details.

In the years before Erik's death, it was different.. I really did love.. Maybe too much.. only 2 old exs now still hurt. Of course they were long distanced. I used local relationships just to waste my time consciously and subconsciously. You know, fuck buddies and the occasional loser. Car sex is bullshit. Its the seventh circle of hell especially in South Florida. Forget it. Fucking sucks. Nothing worse. Dont do it lol 😆 😂.

Its just after his death I've never felt the same.

Except for Rick but idk its still not the same...10 years ago I couldn't tolerate him. Now I can but if there was any kind of advice about "attracting" or being close to your twin flame is simply to love yourself. Obviously it took me meeting mine to do this because he's dead. Others in my position I think would agree. Things are slightly different and more challenging.

😘💕 Love yall, good night!

[not-poignant]

[1/3] Hi Pia, I wanted to ask u something cuz Im getting shit for an OC Im writing & idk what to do. When I read ur Fae Tales I was v confused by Gwyn&Augus' relationship as I felt like Gwyn hurt more than felt better during their scenes. W time tho I kinda understood that in order for Gwyn to overcome part of his trauma, Augus was having him deal with it by doing stuff that Gwyn hates. Im trying to deal with a similar topic here, but Ive been told that my dom OC is abusive & that its disgusting

[2/3] of me to think abt it as something acceptable. My OC has been abused since he was a kid, both physically & emotionally and he’s now at a poit of his arc where hes desperate to feel better and not disgusted w himself. So he asked his dom to help him break (and he’s v resistent, since he bottled up everything since he was young). Im not writing that the dom enjoys it in any way, but I still get shit like “youre sick, you cant do this, you know nothing abt ptsd”. // [3/3] I really feel bad for this, since I dont wanna pass the message that I condemn abuse in any way. I dont understand whether this is fandom purity or me not doing my research right and fucking up. Also bcos it’s a one-time thing, it’s not something that will go on and continue, since I myself am not comfortable with writing abuse. Idk what to do, can u help me?             

***

It is really tough for me to give advice on something I haven’t read. I mean I kind of…can’t? I can only really give like, very very general advice, to you as a writer, and I’m not sure how helpful it will be.

Like, maybe you are misrepresenting PTSD. Maybe it is coming across a certain way. I can’t tell you whether that’s happening or not. I don’t know if you’re getting any positive comments, or any positive feedback, and I don’t know what fandom you’re in to say whether it’s definitely purity wank (like Dragon Age, where it often is, but still doesn’t mean that some people don’t make good critiques of things).

However, I will say this:

An author has the right to write the scene you’re describing, and even misrepresent PTSD or BDSM or whatever is happening, and it still has a right to exist in the world. That doesn’t mean it will be free from criticism, and if you write controversial or ‘dark’ content, it likely won’t be free from criticism. Them’s the breaks.

You have the right to delete comments, ignore them, or choose to take them on board. And probably some other choices (like taking some of it on board, adding an extra warning in your story like ‘this isn’t a representation of a healthy relationship’ or whatever, and then deleting the comments or ignoring them).

You’re clearly being bullied, and getting personal hate. As soon as someone takes the feedback from ‘this is unhealthy and squicky’ to ‘you’re sick’ - they are erroneously assuming that you are the same as your writing, and that’s not okay. It’s not accurate, not correct, and usually indicates the comment itself is only really fit for the trash. It strongly points towards purity wank bullshit. You don’t have to honour attacks on your personal character, and I strongly believe that folks shouldn’t bother engaging with people who attack their personal character in fic feedback.

I get comments like this on my work sometimes. I delete them. On the very rare occasion I might respond, when I think it’s more valuable for a reader to see a sound, reasoned, non-defensive response that calmly explains what I’m doing in a way that shows both sides of the situation. That’s rare. I just delete them. Once or twice those people have chased me into my inbox, where I block them.

I can’t comment on your story, the quality of your story, or whether you’re achieving what you set out to achieve, or if it’s being done well. I haven’t read it, I can’t do that. The only thing I’d say is make sure that your tags are comprehensive, and if you don’t have one already, maybe consider a warning in your author’s note at the beginning that you’re not trying to write a realistic/healthy relationship and anyone expecting that should exit stage right (or something similar).

I warn for the same with Gwyn and Augus. Honestly you’d think people would know this, being in the fiction tags, but they don’t. Especially people who toe the purity wank line.

I can say that you - as a human being - do not deserve to be personally attacked for what you’re writing, and the delete button is within your reach re: these people’s feedback (if it’s on AO3 anyway). You need to make sure you can look after yourself, and also that you don’t cave to people who cast aspersions on your character. Maybe there are flaws in your fic, all you can do is change that in the future or choose to edit now, if you decide to do neither because you’re not comfortable with abuse, then that’s that. You still have the right to protect yourself from people who are hounding you, and blocking folks who don’t understand one of the most fundamental laws of fanfiction - The First Law of Fandom: ‘Don’t like? Don’t read.’

And maybe take some time to remember what you like about writing fic. Go find some positive comments you’ve had, or read some stories you’re proud of. I’m not sure if any of this stuff helps, because it always hurts a lot to get these kinds of comments, but haters will always exist in the world, and sometimes the most important thing is to just let them know that you won’t tolerate them around the things that you’re creating out of love, for free.