#( daisy ft. seyoon )

[thervnaways]

though surprised, more than anything, daisy was just ecstatic to be able to take her friend on a mini adventure, even if it was just to some amusement park. "oh, you don't have to worry about any of that. i'll take care of it!" not that tickets were cheap but it was her idea, and she wanted him to enjoy the experience to the fullest. the girl slides next to him, peeking to see what's on his phone. "now i wanna go to all..." burdened by the power of choice and theme park wisdom, the girl genuinely looks distressed but knows it would be better for her to decide. "we should probably go to the normal one first. then we can go to something more interesting later on." snapping back into the spot she was in earlier, femme nods at him. "are you free tomorrow? it'll probably be too crowded on the weekends."

              each  question  earns  a  shake  of  his  head  ,  humored  in  the  way  she  seems  so  surprised  by  his  lack  of  experience.  there  were  a  lot  of  things  in  this  world  he'd  yet  to  get  his  hands  on  —  growing  up  didn't  offer  nearly  as  many  opportunities  as  life  did  once  he'd  reached  college.  “  well  you  seemed  more  shocked  about  the  theme  park  ,  so  i  feel  like  i'm  missing  out  on  more  there.  do  we  have  to  buy  something  beforehand  ?  is  it  expensive  ?  ”  a  phone  is  pulled  from  his  pocket  then  and  curiosity  works  theme  parks  near  me  into  the  search  bar.  “  oh  ?  there's  so  many  .  .  there's  a  water  park  ,  a  zoological  one  —  or  do  you  just  like  the  regular  amusement  parks  ?  what  would  you  recommend  for  someone's  first  time  ?  ”

[thervnaways]

"wait. you've NEVER been to a theme park?" forget about the rest of the conversation they just had. this seemed of utmost importance to daisy. with a gasp, the girl looks at him in disbelief. "and you've never had a picnic? oh, seyoon, we need to do these things asap!" who cared how single she was now? her dear friend was missing out on so many good things in life. how has she never done either of those things with him before? "at this point, i don't think it matters what sounds more fun to me. we have to do both. i'd happily be with you to experience these firsts!"

              “  i  don't  know  if  it's  particularly  lovely  ,  ”  he  points  out  ,  head  tilting  to  emphasize  her  choice  of  word  ,  “  but  i  don't  think  it's  as  bad  as  everyone  makes  it  out  to  be.  you  just  have  to  be  okay  with  it  —  learn  how  to  make  yourself  happy  first.  ”  words  are  offered  as  if  he's  some  kind  of  expert  on  the  matter  ,  though  perhaps  a  long  life  deprived  of  romantic  relationships  made  him  close  enough  to  one  for  them  to  count.  “  of  course  i  would  ,  ”  and  a  grin  blossoms  at  the  way  she  lights  up.  even  if  he  couldn't  have  her  in  the  way  he  longed  for  ,  in  the  end  ,  this  is  what  mattered  most.  as  long  as  he  could  keep  her  happy  like  this  ,  it  was  enough  to  make  all  his  sacrifices  worthwhile.  “  what  should  we  do  first  ?  i've  never  been  to  a  theme  park  before  but  i've  also  never  had  a  picnic.  so  ,  what  sounds  more  fun  to  you  ?  heights  ,  or  good  food  ?  not  cooked  by  me  ,  of  course.  ”

[thervnaways]

there's something about the way this conversation has pivoted into something lighter that already makes the girl feel better. as usual, she knew she could trust her friend to bring her spirits up, whether he meant to or not. "when you put it that way, it makes being single sound so lovely." and she was excited to learn more about herself, her relationships. "really? you'd do that?" a newfound enthusiasm lights up in her eyes as she perks up, moved and delighted that he was being so proactive in this journey of hers. ( or is she just being naive? ) "let's do it all. theme parks, movies, picnics! or whatever you wanna do, really. i'm ready to learn."

              “  mm  ,  you’re  right  ,  it  has  been  a  while  ,  ”  he  agrees  beneath  a  hum  and  a  nod.  trust  that  seyoon  knows.  he  remembers  almost  everyone  she's  been  with  —  the  list  including  quite  a  few  characters  that  would  be  hard  for  even  those  not  in  love  with  her  to  forget.  “  it's  not  so  bad.  you  spend  a  lot  of  time  getting  to  know  yourself  and  want  you  want.  ”  something  like  that  could  be  good  for  someone  like  her.  “  and  whatever  you  would  normally  go  and  do  with  the  person  you're  dating  ,  you  can  do  with  your  friends  instead.  like  me  ,  ”  he  leans  forward  then  ,  resting  elbows  atop  the  counter  and  offering  a  playful  grin.  “  i'll  teach  you  all  the  joys  of  being  single.  ”  

[thervnaways]

"what i'm wanting to hear—" is that how things sounded to him? because frankly, all daisy wanted was a straightforward answer. he was right in saying he couldn't dictate her actions but in a situation like this, she was asking him to. she had so much faith in him, she was willing to give that to him. but now all she feels is regret, wondering where she went wrong. "i just thought you could tell me what to do this time. you know i trust you more than anyone else. just tell me to keep trying with this guy or tell me to stop, and i'll do it."

              was  she  feigning  ignorance  or  was  she  genuinely  unable  to  see  what  was  right  in  front  of  her  ?  her  best  friend  ,  who  was  ready  to  say  the  words  if  only  she  asked  ,  in  love  with  her  for  as  long  as  he  could  remember.  it  was  becoming  more  difficult  to  gauge  her  feelings  ,  but  there  was  a  time  when  he  was  almost  certain.  there's  a  sting  in  his  chest  at  the  thought  of  being  the  one  who  deceived  himself  into  seeing  something  that  wasn't  truly  there.  “  i  don't  know  ,  ”  he  forces  his  gaze  from  her  ,  “  maybe  i'm  being  stupid  .  .  i've  never  been  good  at  reading  people  anyway.  ——  you  should  ask  someone  else  for  advice.  i  don't  think  i  can  tell  you  what  you're  wanting  to  hear.  ”

[thervnaways]

what she assumed was going to be a comforting conversation between them turned into something that was starting to taste a little sour, and she wasn't sure how to defuse the tension. it didn't help that she suddenly felt nervous, like whatever she was about to say was going to push this discussion in a direction that she wasn't ready for. "sorry, but... did— did i say something wrong?" with concern etched onto her visage, daisy knew she had to find out what it was that made him talk like that, even if it might've been obvious to him.

              the  word  friend  leaves  her  lips  and  it  hits  him  harder  than  it  should  ;  once  ,  then  once  again.  the  second  time  is  unsurprisingly worse.  of  course  they're  friends  .  .  but  was  she  always  going  to  pretend  like  there  wasn't  something  more  that  lingered  in  the  silence  between  them  ?  even the way he looks at her now alone holds more than anything anyone else could feel for her. still  ,  he  can't  bring  himself  to  press  on  it  the  way  he  wants  to  ,  so  he  swallows  the  spite.  again.  “  no  ,  i  don't  know  ,  ”  he  says.  his  expression  has  gone  flat.  “  maybe  it's  because  i'm  not  the  one  with  the  experience  of  dating. but  i've always been  satisfied  with  just  you.  ”  

[thervnaways]

"maybe... maybe i just have bad taste." it must be frustrating for him to be telling her the same thing every time she meets a guy, only for her to come to the realization now. but at least she got there, right? daisy feels ashamed to an extent to admit that she hadn't considered seyoon before but that was just the thing: she has. but she's convinced herself that he wasn't an option, that they were just friends, that he didn't see her that way even if there was enough evidence to say otherwise. "and i appreciate that you have. i love being your friend because you care so much about me, and i care a lot about you. but, like, we're friends. it's different from the kind of relationship i'm missing, y'know?"

              “  of  course  all  guys  aren't  the  same  ,  ”  he  scoffs  ,  though  a  natural  smile  still  hints  at  his  lips.  “  i  just  meant  you  always  go  for  the  ones  that  are.  there's  plenty  of  worthy  ones  out  there  .  .  ”  like  me  ,  he  muses  to  himself.  there's  a  shift  in  the  way  her  words  fall  and  the  amusement  that  once  homed  seyoon's  features  drops  as  his  eyes  meet  hers.  “  what  do  you  mean  you  feel  lonely  ?  you’re  not  alone  .  .  you  have  me.  i've  always  been  here.  ”  he  tries  not  to  take  offense  ,  he  knows  this  isn't  about  him  ,  but  still  ,  he  can't  help  but  feel  slightly  mugged  off  by  her  confession.  one  that  he  feels  so  far  away  from.  

[thervnaways]

"because you're smarter than me... and i guess you make better choices than i do. you said it yourself: the people i date are not exactly the best -- though i think you just dislike everyone i've been in a relationship with regardless -- so, y'know, i figure you'd know better, right?"

(    ཐི♥︎ཋྀ    )     dear   @thervnaways​​​​​​  ,            

              “  you're  the  one  with  all  the  dating  experience  ,  why  are  you  asking  me  for  advice  ?  anything  i  would  say  ,  you  wouldn't  like  anyway.  you  know  i  think  your  taste  in  people  is  .  .  questionable.  ”

[thervnaways]

"i mean..." he has a point, quite a good one. but daisy's alway relied on him for help and despite his advice, the girl didn't think she could trust her gut about the decision she was about to make. "not all guys are the same, right? maybe he'll be better than the last one." most people might not understand her dilemma. most people would tell her to just leave. but there was a certain sense of security in having relationships that she wanted more than she knew. "i just... i guess i feel lonely without him, y'know?"

              his  response  isn't  immediate  ,  seyoon  shifting  back  into  his  chair  as  he  eyes  hopeful  best  friend  before  him.  he  briefly  thinks  about  how  this  would  be  the  perfect  opportunity  to  say  it  out  loud.  to  tell  her  she  should  break  up  with  her  boyfriend  and  be  with  him  instead  ,  a  thought  that  forever  danced  in  the  shadows  of  his  mind  ,  but  he  wouldn’t  dare  bring  it  to  light.  not  before  daisy  ever  admitted  it  herself.  instead  ,  he  offers  a  gentle  shrug  of  his  shoulders  and  battles  the  internal  struggle  of  ignoring  his  own  lovesick  feelings.  just  like  he  always  does.  “  i  can’t  tell  you  how  to  feel  ,  ”  he  says  ,  “  you  should  go  with  your  gut.  give  him  another  chance  if  you  want  but  .  .  come  on  ,  don’t  you  think  he’s  a  lot  like  the  last  guy  you  dated  ?  think  about  it.  guys  like  that  aren’t  doing  you  any  good.  ”

[thervnaways]

he had a point. she'd been around, went on many dates, actually gotten into relationships with a number of them... while he, as far as she remembered, hardly did any of that. so yes, he was probably not the best to ask for advice but she still wanted his help. "i mean, sure, but maybe this time you could actually tell me what i can do instead of just telling me that you don't like the guy. please?"

              “  that's  not  true  ,  ”  he  corrects  ,  “  i  just  don't  really  date  like  you  do.  it's  kinda  hard  to  mess  up  if  i  don't  do  it.  ——  and  ,  well  .  .  ”  though  he  breaks  off  briefly  ,  not  sure  he  can  really  argue  with  her  there.  “  i  don't  hate  them  or  anything , but i'm  always  going  to  think  you're  too  good  for  anyone  you  date.  ”