#( cerepoint survey. ) asks

[kowalskilaska]

Merry Christmas, Kowalski! I hope you're warm and cozy and you get a break from work!

❝ Happy holidays to you too. Like most people, we get the 25th off. It'll be back to work like always. It's nice to have a sense of normalcy. I'd even call the job vacation. ❞

[kowalskilaska]

yknow. have you ever tried appreciating plushies

❝ Oh, don’t get me started. [ He exhales sharply. ] They’re impractical, they’re messy, and—let’s be honest—they serve no real purpose. What are they supposed to do, exactly? Sit there? Collect dust? Take up space that could be used for something actually useful? You can’t rely on them, you can’t use them. ❞

 [ He gestures vaguely, as if picturing a room filled with these plush toys he seems to detest. ] ❝ They’re clutter, plain and simple. Try organizing a space with ten pairs of beady eyes staring back at you. It’s . . . distracting. ❞

 ❝ At the end of the day, they’re just. . . objects. Soft, squishy, pointless objects. But hey, if someone insists on keeping one or two around, who am I to stop them? Just. . . keep them out of my space, alright? ❞

[kowalskilaska]

okay. but are you lying

❝ No. ❞

[kowalskilaska]

i don't feel like im in danger, but i like to have a bodyguard just in case! oh, I'm not rich, by the way, I always have a buddy with me, is all, haha!

❝ I'm glad that you feel safe. Everyone here at LASKA is here to ensure that you feel as comfortable and safe as possible. We appreciate your continued patronage.❞

( How humble. It sort of seems odd to have a bodyguard unless you're higher up on the chain. Not to mention that calling a bodyguard a 'buddy' directly defeats the point of the formal workplace relationship. What's the point of that? It's either a buddy or a bodyguard. It can't be both. )

[kowalskilaska]

are you in danger right now?

❝ . . . What.

Cerepoint is the safest place It's suited specifically to satisfy the needs of me and the others here. . . I don't really know why you'd ask that. . . It feels kind of redundant, don'r you think? Saying things like that might rile up the other citizens. I highly advise against that.

Are you in some sort of danger? Is that why you ask? You're not in danger here. If you have any questions or are unsatisfied with anything, please refer to the 'Cerepoint Experience Survey'. Questions comments and concerns can be addressed there. ❞

[kowalskilaska]

hi walskii. what do you think about rats. this is really important

❝ I'm not particularly fond of rats. They're unclean and quite frankly, a pain to deal with. Rats are a rarity nowadays. I have to say I'm thankful for that. 

If you let even one slip by. . . well, they never stay alone for long, haha. . . . . why was that important? ❞

[kowalskilaska]

be honest how many people have you killed

 ❝ I-- sorry, I beg your pardon? I haven't killed anyone. If you have complaints about the security, feel unsettled by something or have experienced something out of the ordinary, I can direct you to the Cerepoint Experience Survey.  ❞

   ❝ ( That question alone is enough to deflect suspicion. Who the hell asks something like that? ) ❞